The Secret to Having it All

The Art of, Having it All, NYT Best Selling author Christy Whitman shares how to have a passionate marriage, thriving career, money in the bank and a great body.

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Our topic today , The secret to , Having it all, Welcome to the Transform your Mind with Coach Myrna radio show and podcast, I am your Host Coach Myrna Young and today I am speaking to New York Times Best Selling author of the book “The Art of, Having at All” Ms Christy Whitman. I am so honored to be talking to Christy today.

I Want to thank everyone for tuning in today to on the radio at www.wdjyfm.com in Metro Atlanta. This podcast is distributed to iTunes, TuneIn radio, Stitcher, Google play and now also on iHeart radio.

Show Transcript

Christy you have such a wealth of knowledge, that I know that both myself and my listening audience is going to learn so much from you today.

Thank you Myrna, I’m so excited to be here, thanks so much for having me.

I want to give a shout out to the fan of the week, and the winner of this week’s contest for a free VIP annual subscription to Mix Amore, the Newest Hottest Dating App. This week’s winner is Sierra de Oliveira, Sierra left a review on iTunes that said

“I just love this podcast coach Myrna and her guests are so entertaining and full of great content. I love learning how to navigate this life and be successful.”

Thank You Siera for leaving a five-star review. I hope you enjoy your gift.

Appending to that, I want to remind you that I have a four week contest on right now and this is week three. The contest is for you to win a VIP membership to Mix_Amore, the new interracial dating App as seen on Shark Tank. To enter post a review to the Transform your Mind with coach Myrna podcast on iTunes and then send me an email to info@myhelps.us with the subject line “podcast review” and you will be entered to win.

Alright let’s get on with the show and let me tell you a bit more about my guest today Christy Whitman. Christy is a Transformational Leader, Celebrity Coach and the New York Times Bestselling Author of “The Art of, Having It All” she has appeared on The Today Show and the Morning Show and her work has been featured in, People’s Magazine, Seventeen, Women’s Day, Hollywood Life, and Teen Vogue, among others Christy is also the CEO and founder of the, Quantum Success Learning Academy and Quantum Success Coaching Academy, a 12-month Law of Attraction program. Christy has helped thousands of people worldwide to achieve their goals through her empowerment seminars, speeches and coaching sessions and products. Christy’s life changing message reaches over 200,000 people per month and her work has been promoted by and featured with esteemed authors and luminaries such as Marianne Williamson, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Marci Shimoff, Brian Tracy, Neale Donald Walsch, Abraham-Hicks, and Louise Hay. She currently lives in Arizona with her husband, Frederic, and their two boys, Alexander and Maxim.
You can meet her on the web at www.QuantumSuccessBook.com,

I read your bio and I’m thinking wow this woman is where I want to be. So we’re going to start out by just asking you a kind of a background question you’ve accomplished quite a lot. Can you tell us your journey to this point in your career in life.

Well, I basically did everything that my parents told me, you know, Go get a degree, get a good job, put money in the Bank, have a nice fit body, find a guy! I had all that, and still I was just really really empty. I wasn’t really happy. I was missing an essential part of myself. So I started going on a search for meaning. I had this you know like when you’re really thirsty for water that’s how I felt spiritually. I felt like I just didn’t know that there’s wasn’t any real purpose or meaning in what I was doing. It seemed like the more money I made, it didn’t make me any happier. I went on this quest and really learned about meditation and learned about how our thoughts create our reality and learned about energy and how we are either attracting things to us or repelling things from us. All these different philosophies started changing me, and I started changing my thoughts one by one and started shifting my energy and things literally just started shifting before my eyes. When I was searching at one point I was thirty pounds overweight, $60,000 in debt, I had just broken up with the latest bad guy, and I moved to California and I didn’t know anybody. I Had quit my job also so I I had nothing going on in my life, when I found this information and it was amazing because within just a very few short weeks I got a great job, I was transferred to a different part of California, I found a really wonderful man, and I was in an eight-year relationship with, my body naturally went back to normal size. Things were just flowing and easy, and what I was learning about was the universal laws that I now teach. I’ve shared my experiences of how I’ve created a great career, maintained my weight, and attracted an ideal partner. I’ve been coaching on Law of Attraction and Universal Laws. Besides the Law of Attraction, I just share my experiences and I share what I do, and what I learned and what I know not to do, and I just created an amazing business. I’m serving people, and seeing people transform, and I feel passionate about it. Each and every day, back when I when I was in that space, I was making money, I was a pharmaceutical rep, but I didn’t feel like I was on purpose. I didn’t feel like what I was doing really had much meaning and so I started to really connect with the feeling of what would it feel like that if I did something and I was on purpose? I didn’t know what purpose looked like, but I started just allowing myself to feel that the essence of the purpose, of what it would just feel like. Even if I didn’t know the how or the form or anything and then what happened with amazing. I had a book downloaded through me and that became my first book “Perfect Pictures.” I got it published and my family and friends all bought the book and it wasn’t like they were the ones to read self-help books. I started speaking at Spiritual Book Stores and Churches and while I was doing that, doing workshops on my book, I would take people through meditations and they started asking me to coach them. I had no idea back then, and we were talking you know 16 years ago, 17 years ago. I had no idea what Life Coaching was and most people didn’t. I decided to just have people call me on the phone and started really appreciating their transformation. I’m grateful that my stuff it’s universal and it helps every single person, no matter what circumstance or situation there going through. We can change all of it by knowing and applying these laws.

That’s an awesome story I Absolutely love it. Dr Wayne Dyer says that that’s how he’s written all this books. He wakes up at 3.15 am in the morning and it’s just downloaded. I just completed a series with the author of the Millennial’s Playbook to Adulting, Millennials do just that. Whether it’s their parents or a guidance counselor or somebody they find a job, they find the guy, and then they get married or something but it doesn’t light them up it doesn’t light them up because they’re going about it based on the jobs that’s available or income or something along those lines; but yeah is it’s a great thing to teach because whenever you are on purpose and whenever something lights you up and whenever you follow the Laws of the Universe which most people don’t know what they are, you find happiness. Most people don’t understand the Laws of Attraction and how thoughts work. That’s the only way that you can design your life. I’m glad that we’re going to be diving into that subject in our next episode; but today we want to talk about your book “The Art of, Having it All,” I’m jumping ahead of myself. Before we get in to that. I want to bring attention to the word you used to introduce your coaching program “Quantum Success.” I love the word that you use to introduce your coaching program. I follow Deepak Chopra. He was my first mentor and when I wrote my first book which was called “Becoming Conscious, my Awakening” I talked about the Quantum and synchro destiny; but you’re calling it, Quantum Success; so my follow-up question is “what do you feel is the blueprint to your coaching program and what is your definition of quantum success and, having it all, ?”

I want to say I’m not a superwoman, I’m just an ordinary woman that has learned about universal laws and, having it all. Every single person listening have the power to create your life the way you want it. Quantum success for me it was really about, I lived the first part of my life not, having it all, so far pushing, striving, setting goals, it was really when I found the knowledge, and the information on energy and that I understood, the energy that you hold while you’re moving towards something is even more important than the inert action of the goal. We’re both physical and non-physical beings. If you’re not doing that from a place of alignment then any momentum that you take is a waste of energy, it’s a waste of time. You know a lot of times people are moving they’re doing stuff and they’re taking tons of action and it’s eventually going to give them the success that they want; but they’re going to hit a wall because if their thought process is different or their emotions on how they feel about themselves or even the way they think about themselves, the way they reflect on themselves, the way they judge and solve problems. All of that stuff holds us back from really being able to allow the alignment and the flow of the Quantum field, or what some call God, what some call Goddess. That consciousness that create whatever you want. When you start to bring in deliberately, having it all, the kind of energy that you want to experience, whether its success, or love, or abundance, or prosperity, or security. As long as you’re doing it consistently, because everything is vibration. So when you do the action and take the action towards what you want to manifest and align your thoughts your emotions your perspective with succeeding, in that space of success. You imagine what would success look like? What does, having it all, look like? What would successful feel like? If you had the career that you really wanted, that was firing on all cylinders what would that look like for you? I wrote in my last book “The Art of, Having It All,” It’s really about what does having it all look like to you. Is, Having it All, someone else’s definition? It’s what lights you up that moves you forward. It’s a life force that’s pulsating through you, that wants to become something more. It’s up to us as, that non-physical part of that energy. Cooperate with it instead of trying to cut it off and that’s what most people do. Complaining and judging other people or they play like a victim. All those things are literally slicing up and siphoning off your life force energy, and it won’t move you towards the desires that you want. We need to ask ourselves. How do I want to feel? Then start to as much as you can, as often as you can, get in that feeling place. I mean the good thing is about Quantum is that this is a holographic universe and so any emotion that has ever been felt can be easily felt by you. Circumstances and situations don’t have to happen. We have the capacity as human beings to visualize and to feel our way into things, and to change a thought and you know these are all things that we can do because the thoughts that we have are not real, so we have to direct our thoughts towards what we want and why we want it, to, having it all, and how we want to feel.

That is awesome, we are so in sync on the things. My next question we’re going to be talking a little bit about Abraham Hicks; she talks about the vortex when I do my meditation that’s what I say. Everything in my vortex will be eventually be available to me, if not immediately but eventually. It’s all about vibration. I was listening to podcast last week and the guest was saying we have Three superpowers, and one of the superpowers was imagination. He reminded me that anything we can imagine, we can create. Whether you’re imagining what you want or what you’re imagining what you don’t want it’s real and it’s going to manifest.

A lot of people think our vortex is outside of ourselves; but the vortex is within us. The vortex is inside us, so it’s not something we have to wait for. It’s like we just have to get into alignment with it because it’s already there. It’s the Creator that pulses pulsates through us. I’m going to get into a discussion of energy for a second. Most people think I’m going to manifest something or Law of Attraction; but thoughts always create some kind of emotional reaction. It’s really the emotions, so we’re viewing something we see something like a tree we look at the tree and we just kind of have the stimulus, we perceive it without eyes and we enjoy it. So energy is flowing in and it’s flowing out, it’s just kind of like a stimulus we see the ocean it comes in and it comes out. Well when someone says something rude to us or says something hurtful, or maybe you get in car accident, or you lose a loved one, or your bill comes and you can’t pay it or whatever it is; those moments in life cause us to constrict our energy and we create blocks around it. Those blocks also create a vortex of energy because energy has to continue to move, it goes out, or it goes up, because that is constantly moving, it’s never ending. So if energy come through and instead of feeling an emotion, like how that person hurt us or that person was rude or that person made us angry, we constrict the energy. That creates a block and then that creates a vortex, that vortex is active, it’s alive. That’s the vortex that creates a thought and then the thoughts create a belief. It then creates some kind of physical manifestation of it and then we go, see it’s true. You say No matter what I do, I can’t seem to get ahead. Men are always cheating on me. We have to be careful and aware of where we’re getting energetically charged and start to release those blocks, so that we can get back in that free flow again of feeling the love and the alignment.

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I do the work, I want to be, having it all, I don’t only coach; but I do a lot of mind work because I’m aware at that everything starts in the mind, which is why I call this podcast “The Transform your Mind” because everything starts there. But I loved about the quantum field as it relates to success. I actually never thought about it that way until you mentioned it; but you said if you want to move towards something because that’s the quantum field that’s energy that’s moving and you have to be an alignment to that goal. If you I want to red Mercedes but then immediately you say well I can never afford it, that’s what you’re talking about, as far as you’re not moving in alignment. I Actually absolutely love putting it all together. If you want success you’ve got to hold what you want in front of you so that you can be strategically moving towards it and also be aware of the energy that you’re talking about. If you’ve got stuck energy, you’ve got blocked energy or you you’re feeling bad then you’re actually blocking your flow.

So, the next question I Want to ask you is about the luminaries and thought leaders that you mentioned in your bio. I love them all I didn’t know much about Marianne Wilkinson, but I love Dr Wayne Dyer, I’m listening to two of his audio books right now. One is on Balance which is almost the same thing we’re talking about today. I have a Neale Donald Walsch book in my library “Conversations with God” It was one of the best books I have read. I studied that book. And Abraham Hicks, Love her. There’s was a point in time that I meditated with her every morning. I Picked those three because those are the ones that I know. So what are some of the lessons that you’ve learned from these luminaries as it you know as it relates to our topic today? Having it all, and Quantum Success?

I heard of Wayne Dyer probably about 20 years ago. My therapist at the time she was a spiritual psychotherapists, she brought in the spiritual approach, she would hand me CDs, actually back then it was cassette tapes of Wayne Dyer and Marianne Williamson, and so they were my first two early teachers. I really liked the perspective that Marianne talks about because she would talk about the Course In Miracles and how there’s really only two emotions, either love or fear; so that really helped me start to connect with the energy and paying attention between high vibration or low vibration, and then of course Wayne Dyer was huge for me in the whole getting in the perspective of my thoughts. During that time that’s when I was learning that your thoughts create your reality and so I was learning that not all thoughts are real and that we have places where as normal human beings we typically automatically think in these ways and for me it was like wow okay, so I’m Normal right and yet I have to change these if I want to continue to change my life. His work has always just been really touched my soul and in the time that I’ve been able to meet him and you know it just he really is one of those people that really was because he’s passed on, but he really walks his talk. He truly was a lightworker and I could feel that it around him and it was there was an authenticity that and of what he taught and how he lived so that’s what I learned about and appreciate him. He was a very humble man and he never felt better than other people and he really had taught me a lot about ego and in keeping the ego in check and in that sort of thing. The Power of Intention, I mean that’s an incredible book. I’ve been following Abraham Hicks Probably around the equal amount of time around 20 years and I was given a cassette from a little group that I was in in Redding California and I listened to them and you know listening test or channel Abraham and it was like whoa this is really strange and weird and yet I felt good listening to it, not only the words this used but the vibration that I felt. As a pharmaceutical rep I had a big area in California, I would drive around with a cassette recorder on my passenger seat with all these different cassettes. I was really a tuning into a different perspective, I always write whether you know you buy someone’s book and you read the book while you’re just going to bed at night or you’re driving around the car and you listen to a podcast that bless you or you know some kind of media where you’re getting a different perspective than what most people think and how most people think because that’s going to help you change your perspective. If you’re inundated with the news and you know things like that and around a lot of people that are negative it’s very hard to get out of that space unless you do something deliberately.

We’re going to get in it to our topic today which is, “Having it All”, or “The, Art of Having It All” so let me give you a little bit about you know the more a little tidbit that I picked up from you know reading the synopsis of the book. Christy in your book you ask “Is it possible to have a passionate marriage, a thriving career, a healthy beautiful body, more money that you ever dreamed of, and enough downtime to enjoy it without running yourself ragged?” You ask the question like a lawyer asks the question a rhetorical question that we know the answer and your answer was a resounding “YES”

Absolutely exactly right. In the Art of Having it all, you shared precise steps you took to create radical turn arounds in the midst of potentially devastating real-life situations. Freeing yourself of nearly $90,000 of unwanted debt, 30 extra pounds, navigating the turbulent waters of divorce, and this last two are really hard for most people, the grief of your sister’s suicide, and the life-threatening illness of your newborn son. As I read that I get goose bumps on it because you know that’s a lot of stuff to have to deal with and I know we’ve touched on the energy and most of this beforehand as we talked in your bio, and some of the questions to answered already; but can you tag on to anything that you haven’t talked about. What advice you’d give out listeners who are going through, as we call it the wilderness of the storm, in their lives right now.

Absolutely all of those things that you mentioned all of them, I got through and grew from them and had them turn out even better than I could have even imagined, because of the fact that I knew about the Universal Laws and that I knew about lack and energy and Lack in abundance and, I knew about emotions and all that. I knew that I needed to focus on my perspective on, having it all, my sons, my marriage, so just even in the case of my son Maxim, when he was 2 months of age he was rushed to the hospital and he had to have open-heart surgery as a tiny little baby. Crazy, the miracles that were around that are just like the story is incredible. Typically babies that have a transposition of the arteries are usually found in the mother’s womb, they see it in the ultrasound and then they do a heart surgery on them, probably one to two days of life, two days of the latest. If they don’t catch it, it’s usually within you know the first week and if it’s not caught within the first week babies usually die in the crib if it’s not detected. Wow! Yeah, he was two months of age and the only thing that kept him alive is he had a little hole between both of his arteries and the valve that closes when a baby typically has their first few breaths, his didn’t close so he was barely breathing which we didn’t realize; but he if they did ever did this type of surgery on the baby this old so it was just the fact that he was just there and he was wanting to be there. It’s like, I knew that he was going to be fine and so I went I Told my husband I’m like okay listen we can’t have anybody else’s negative energy we can’t have fear we can’t have any of this around the situation. The only visual I’m going to hold taking Maxim home with his brother Alex, And the three of you wrestling and growing up and taking vacations and taking them to Disneyland and taking him camping and you know just like all these visions absolutely. All these different watching and play baseball and so that was the only vision. Our family was freaking out and scared, of course we had to process our own emotions because it was an emotional roller coaster; whenever we were around him we didn’t let in any fear energy. We would clear ourselves before we would walk in the hospital to see him and very selective of who we let around him and stuff and we did that because it’s like we just wanted to keep in the positive space we wanted to keep in that energy flow of all good things and any possibility of negativity or fear or any lower-level emotions we wanted to keep it out of the creation; because it was it was imperative. I’m happy to say that he’s now seven-year-old boy, he’s been cleared for years. He’s got a perfect heart. I mean the surgery that they did was two months is like growing with him it’s amazing yeah just the coolest kid and you know and just very grateful I mean just amazing and you know so it’s that alone you know we would sit there and deliberately write down like okay what are the positive aspects about the situation nothing will go my God your child almost died is in the hospital ICU. How could you even look for a positive in that situation? Well for me, we had to because we had to keep our vibration high, so I would write out, how I’m grateful how I was at the best Children’s Hospital in all of North America, I was grateful that we were close to home and that we had family to take care of our son Alex during the day so we could be with Maxim. Grateful that all the nurses loved him and just all the positive aspects nothing but. It’s a universal law if you’re in lack and limitation you cannot create abundance from that place and so you have to get into it’s the law of sufficiency and abundance, you have to get into the place of being at peace, feeling that it’s sufficient, it’s good enough. You don’t have to be over the moon excited about it, but at least coming from that place of appreciation and gratitude looking for what’s right and good and stuff what’s wrong and bad and when you do that your life will continue to change contrast will show up it shows up for every single person but it’s how what you do with the contrast when it happens whether it’s really extreme or it’s minor you know some people get really reactive and how big emotional reactions over very small things and then when things come they’re just like oh my God you know so we have to know how to manage our energy.

I’m Going to redress something, I experienced suicide in my family myself. My daughter was engaged to be married, she was planning her wedding and her fiance, shot himself and committed suicide and like you I’m a very positive person, I wouldn’t say that I know how to work energy like you are because you’re an expert on that, but in my life I’ve had a lot of challenges and you know you say that you can look at your book of wars and in my book of wars told me that almost every challenge that I faced, had a positive outcome just like you can you can see now but your son when that incident happened; but for the life of me I couldn’t find the positive in that suicide. Now I think I’d go back in and I and I think that the positive maybe, like my pastor talked yesterday that sometimes God breaks you so that he can fit you in for your purpose. I think that my daughter came out of that situation a stronger person but at the time I couldn’t find the positive, so how did you find the positive energy in your sister’s suicide? There’s a lot of suicides going on right now so maybe someone is listening that can benefit from some advice on how to deal with someone close to you committing suicide?

This is a great question. For me I remember just feeling that I have to make a decision for myself because she chose what she chose and we can’t control what other people choose, it was her life it was her decision even Abraham Hicks says that every death is really a suicide. Anyways when someone takes their own life we make it mean so much and it is shocking and it is traumatic, it’s not like someone gets a disease and they get degenerative because of that and then they pass, this is something that’s horrible, taking that away either but when someone abruptly ends their life in such a dramatic way it is very traumatic on everybody around them. I would look at my sister it’s like okay she chose what she chose what do I get to choose from my life? Then I started asking myself those questions. What do I want for my life? Why do I want these things? How am I going to want to feel? Really start to feel that way; but during the process I will tell you I allowed myself to feel my feelings, when I felt angry at the situation at her and anything I’ve processed my anger. I didn’t go and beat anybody up. I mean there’s a proprietary process, anger right it’s not raging it’s not hurting another person but I would feel my anger. I would yell into a pillow, there’s things you can do that are constructive for you that and as long as you’re feeling the energy of those emotions and you’re not bottling move it and I what you’re saying yes yeah If I needed to cry, I would cry. I gave myself permission to cry whenever I Felt like. I needed to cry, I would excuse myself and I will go cry.

Christy I Want to thank you so much for being an awesome guest. Our conversation today on, having it all, was very inspirational and like I said I learned a lot from you. Looking forward to our next talk, we are going to dive a little deeper into “How to use the 7 essential Laws of Attraction to create a thriving joyful and prosperous relationship with your work and money.” I Want to thank everyone for tuning in today to on the radio at www.wdjyfm.com in Metro Atlanta. This podcast is distributed to iTunes, TuneIn radio, Stitcher, Google play and now also on iHeart radio. I would love everyone who’s listening to subscribe so that the podcast can rank higher on iTunes and more people like you can listen to awesome messages like the one we have today. so Christy Until next time Namaste

How to Fuel Your Personal Growth as a Millennial

Are you a Millennial or parent of a Millennial? In today’s show we talk, personal growth, with the author of the Millennial’s Playbook to Adulting, Ms Arika Pierce

Are you a Millennial or parent of a Millennial? In today’s show we talk, personal growth, with the author of the Millennial’s Playbook to Adulting, Ms Arika Pierce

Show Transcript:

Today what we want to focus on is giving Millennial’s some clarity on, personal growth, and development. We both know that learning should not stop when you leave school.

What advice would you give Millennials to keep growing? Millennials are in the growth stage of life, what advice would you give them? I know in your book you touch on quite a few, let me count them one two three four you know you’ve got a bit of a ten tips. We don’t have time to talk about all the ten, but pick some of the top ones and share how you would advise Millennials to keep growing.

I think especially after you get out of school and Millennials, are sort of over trying to learn from textbooks, people are just exhausted from that textbook and learning from your professors and things like that; but I do encourage Millennials to become students of life. By that I mean opening your eyes to all the things that you can learn from different people, new experiences just being open to continuing to stretch your horizon and to be multifaceted and to be just a well-rounded person. In my book, for example, I suggest things such as reading biographies about people that you’re curious about or maybe who you want to know. Learn more about their path. I also believe that you should do things like watch documentaries on Netflix about different types of topics that you might be interested in or just want to know more about. I also think listening to podcast that’s huge for me and so that’s why I love your podcast. I listen to podcast really throughout my day on various types of topics, it could be something around expanding your mindset, it could be something around the news, it could be anything. There’s so much out there that you can really stretch your mind and learn. Going to different types of events. I always tell people if you get invited, go to something and especially if it’s something that you probably would be interested in doing. Go to the Opera, go to a hockey game even though you don’t know what’s going on, go to a book talk, go to a wine tasting, whatever it is just expand your horizon. Learning does not stop once you walk across the stage. You should always every day be learning more about yourself, about life, about other people, just always be curious and be a student of the world and of life.

Awesome, that’s some good advice I love the podcast one because that’s a big one. I actually showed my mom just yesterday how to put podcasts on her phone.

That’s the space that we’re in right now. I will tell you I started listening to podcast just to learn what some of the successful podcasters are doing. If there’s something you want to learn, you go to an event, you go to book signing. That’s why people write books. You can take ten years to learn something or you can take ten minutes to read how someone else did it in a book, and that’s the purpose of books. Because I want to learn how to be better at what I do, I start listening to podcast, you would not believe how my mind has been expanded. I subscribe to TuneIn radio, so that I can research how that works and what Hot Talk radio was all about. I happened to come across the Hay House World Summit podcast and you would not believe what I’ve been learning. I listen to podcasts every morning when I walk. I walk for an hour every day so I that’s my learning time and I my eyes are wide open because this podcast have guest speakers all the top people in the spirituality and consciousness and health space.

I try to bring good content on this show so that people can plug in and hear something inspiring and mindset shifting. This podcast is not all about shooting the breeze. I went through your book and I made a note of some of the things that you mentioned and I’ll mention a couple of them because it’s very important you talked about:
• Keeping your mind healthy. You start off by talking about depression. Depression is very big right now. I don’t know where it’s coming from, but a lot of people are depressed, even the ones that you think should be happy, that has a lot of money. Still trouble with depression. You start out by saying, keep your mind healthy and that’s very important when you talk about staying motivated.
• Find a healthy outlet. Journaling, painting, baking, etc and stuff like that that keeps your mind healthy. I talked about journaling, I think it’s great but it’s not for everybody. I think you know it’s not something some people can do it every single day, some people just do it on a periodic basis. I believe don’t be hard on yourself about doing it, but if sometimes you need a place to get your thoughts get your feelings out thinking on paper can honestly be a great way to do that.
• Getting into healthy routines. I just wrote a blog that’s coming out next week about a morning routine. I think establishing a morning routine can help you set the intention and tone for the rest of your day and so actually think sitting down and thinking about what you want your routine to be and doing it that could be transformative. I’ve just recently sort of created a new morning routine and it really has changed my mindset for the whole day. Just making sure there are these five or six things that I do before I start my day.

That’s awesome, you know again as you talk my mind goes to certain things and I was just listening to a podcast where Barbara Corrigan was speaking and we all know her from Shark Tank. She has done a lot for herself, she said something that I did as a little variation for what you just said. She said write down the things that you like to do and write down the things you don’t like to do and instead of trying to do the things you don’t like to do, and then find an assistant or an intern and delegate the things you don’t like to do.

If you’re still trying to just figure out what direction you want to go in life, I think that’s a great time to get it to get a coach. Honestly I think the hardest part is just identifying what exactly you need the coach for, sometimes you want the coach to help you with your professional development, in terms of where you want to take your career. Sometimes it could be helping you balance your work versus your personal life. You might need a coach just in terms of helping you get to the next level of your dreams. There’s all different types of ways you can leverage and use a coach. I really think that it’s never too soon to do that. Today, there’s lots of coaches who focus on the millennial generation, which I think is great. I think those people really understand what the generation is going through and can really help them work through all of those challenges. I wasn’t focused on the millennial generation until I recognized that my daughter being a millennial and her struggles and the things that she needs help with and then I put them two and two together; but I thought what there’s lots of people in that bucket that could do maybe good guidance and direction. Yeah so you’re right, I haven’t come across a lot of millennial coaches; but I know that Millennials are the generation that’s moving the bucket in a lot of areas. That’s because they’re a large group, they’re the movers and the shakers.

So as we continue our discussion on, personal growth, as a millennial, I want to ask this question. In your book Arika, you give advice on how to care for your body so how can we incorporate caring for your body with, personal growth, and development?

I believe that when you work on your mind, when you strengthen your mind, a lot of that has to also be your body and soul, they’re all connected. When you are taking care of yourself when you’re eating right, when you’re exercising, I believe your mind is just in a different place. You feel those endorphins, everything is flowing. I had a workout this morning where I came up with three different things while I was working out that I wanted to incorporate. When you feel good you just can really, transform your mindset, in a very positive way. I believe that when you are you believe that you’re invincible, and start taking care of yourself, eating right, making sure you’re drinking enough water, making sure that you know you’re working out on a regular basis, making sure you’re meditating, when all of those are aligned I believe that your life in terms of what you want to do, in terms of having the energy to do them, all falls into place. But you can’t take your body for granted, because we actually only get one and you know if your body isn’t right usually everything else isn’t right either.

That’s awesome, I was listening I was listening to Louise Hay, she was talking about something that she calls the mirror work. She says is that women especially should go in front of the
mirror every day when they wake up, when they look their worst and they should say to themselves, “ I love you, you are so awesome.” I have no problem with self-love, I love myself, but I still do it every morning. I look myself in the eye and I say “I love you you’re awesome.” What she’s trying to do with that little exercise is bring exactly what you’re talking about the mind-body connection. When you love the body that you’re in, when you love you, then it transcends into every area of your life, it transcends into your confidence, it transcends into what you put in your body, how you treat it, how you let people treat you. There’s definitely a correlation with exercise into listening and connecting to your higher self. I wrote my entire first book and it was called ironically “Becoming Conscious, my Awakening” I would go for run in the morning and all the words would come to me and I would go to the car right after and start writing. I will tell you if I tried if I tried to circumvent and write at night or something it wouldn’t go as smooth, because then I’ll be trying to force it, but when it just comes to me it came to me when I was running, the words just flowed. Like when you were exercising this morning. So the mind-body connection is very important, and that’s why I decided to include it in our topic today, because a lot of people do not care for their body and especially when they’re young and they don’t have any aches and pains, they kind of ignore it.

I was listening to another podcast just yesterday again on the Hay House World Summit and listened to Ocean Robbins, I love his name, I told my daughter she has to name my grandchild Ocean. He is actually is the grandson of Baskin Robbins and he had an incredible story about how his grandfather ate ice cream all day long, he had at least 21 flavors in his fridge at all times. He ate ice cream for breakfast and lunch! When he got to 70 years old, he had all these health problems because of the diet that he had all his life. He had heart problems but his story ended well, because started eating well, he started doing certain things, eating well, including cutting out ice cream and he was still able to turn it around. That’s not an encouragement for anybody listening to wait until they’re in their 70’s and in poor health to get started on a healthy lifestyle, but yeah you can still do it.

Most Millennials are in school, I think a lot of Millennials go on to higher education. They’re working on feeding their mind as far as you know as far as education and career and things like that. The reason I talked about, personal growth, because as I coach, I know that there’s a difference. I would like to hear your spin on the difference between studying for a career and actually, personal growth.

When we think about professional growth as you just said that that’s very connected to what you are focused on career-wise, your job. I think when you start to think about what you want to personally achieve for yourself, that may or may not be connected to your professional life, because there definitely is some overlap between the two. I think really people just have to always think about looking inside and how do they define themselves, outside of their career.
Millennials you’re thinking about how you want to define yourself as a person and defining yourself as a person is not just what your career is and so it’s very easy to get into a life pattern where you’re only focus and your own the only thing that you know to that you gravitate to in terms of your growth, in terms of your brand.

When you ask “What is your, personal growth, plan” which is now something I heard from Brian Tracy he talks about you know spending all his money when he was a youngster to purchase something that called a, personal growth, plan. If I was to ask a Millennial, they might answer in terms of there career trajectory. But that is not a, personal growth plan because it’s only it is only touching on one area of a multi-faceted spiritual being. Deepak Chopra is one of the people that I follow and I love, he talks about asking “who are you?” who is the person that’s doing the listening right now? You ask yourself these questions “Who am I?” “What am I here to do?” You just ask God that question and even let God answer. Your personal growth plan links up to your purpose.

Learn different ways you can develop your personal growth, business, organization and personal skills.
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How to Find Love, the Second Time Around

How to find the right man, second time around

“How to Find love, second time around,” Transform Your Mind podcast
Do you feel the need to do more with your life? Are limiting beliefs holding you
back from true success? Enjoy a unique blend of interviews discussions and
transformation coaching on every podcast. Get the tools for success in every podcast.

Today my guest is Ms Patricia Fuqua. Patricia is a
best-selling author, award-winning motivational speaker, and relationship
expert, specializing in, second time around, today we’re going be talking on
the topic “How to find your diamond the, second time around,” I am
going to enjoy talking to you because I’ve been around more than twice!

Before we get into our show today, I want to tell you about
a contest that I’m having for the next four weeks. This contest is a perfect
fit with topic and our guest today because you have the opportunity to win a VIP annual subscription to Mix_Amore the newest
hottest dating app as seen on Shark Tank. This one a year FREE membership includes video instant messenger, HotList chat advantages, and no advertisements.
To enter post your review to the Transform your Mind with Coach Myrna iTunes podcast and then
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be entered to win a VIP annual subscription to the mix amore dating app
valued at $74.99.

Let me tell you more about my guest Ms Patricia Fuqua. Patricia is the founder
of Dating Diamonds, a service that empowers women to meet the right man the
second time around. She is the creator of the “First Date the Soulmate Program” and since she has helped over 500 women meet the right man by designing a
personalized plan. She helps them implement that plan. She’s polished the art of
relationship in her 40 year marriage to her soulmate husband. Her strategy
benefits men too, after all the more knowledge you have the more you can
thrive. Her clients can be found in major cities including Sydney, Washington DC,
Sacramento and San Francisco. She mentors women to use the story of their lives to create the relationship they choose the second time around.
Patricia has her master’s degree in American literature and an adult IDI
credential from San Francisco State University.
She holds coaching credentials from the Academy of Excellence and the
Windless Institute. She is a certified matchmaker with the matchmaker Institute and, second time around, coach.

Patricia also produced and hosted the TV show called the Patricia Fuqua show, a
platform for using intuitive and spiritual practices as guides for better
relationships.

Well Patricia that is a very excellent Bio, it covers a lot of territory.
I always like to start off my show asking my guests of their journey to this point in their career. Can you talk about your journey to becoming a relationship expert and author specializing in the second time around? I know that you’ve been married for years and I need to say congratulations right off the top because that is quite
an accomplishment; but how did you transcend your own relationship to
becoming a coach?

Well, now I’ve honed and polished my communication skills; but it wasn’t
always this way. There was a time in my marriage when I
was depressed because I was juggling career and the needs of young children
and my husband. I got really depressed because I was
really feeling sorry for myself and then I got mad went into
this deep funk. It wasn’t until I discovered that I had the choice to be
happy or to be sad that I started to turn myself around. It wasn’t my husband
it wasn’t my children, it wasn’t my job, it wasn’t my life. It was the way I was
looking at it so, when I discovered that I could be happy as a choice as well as
being sad, I started to reach for
better feeling thoughts, finding something good about everything and
anytime somebody made me upset or I felt overwhelmed. I said okay so what’s the
silver lining here? I started to get answers and so as I
discovered the power of choosing how I was going to feel about any situation or
any person or relationship I said to myself this I have to share with the
rest of the women in my life, because we could be so much happier if we only knew we could just choose to do it. I have the technique to show them so that’s when I became inspired to start coaching women because I love happy
people. I just love being around happy people and helping them
learn to be happy. Helping them to have more love in their lives.
I always been a spiritual person studying spiritual practices, some people would
say religion, and always I wanted to be in alignment with source, some people
would say God, Universe, Higher Intelligence. There are many names
for that creator and so as a result that’s how I started coaching. I started
saying well this is what I’ve learned about being happy and in love, so I’m
wanting to share this with you and we can personalize it for you so that you
too can have more love and happiness in your life. And that one day that I
had this record-breaking seminar for women, it was just like they were
lined up around the table and down the aisles waiting to speak to me. I
was just giving them these nuggets of wisdoms and, second time around, nuggets that I had come to from my
reading from my study and they were walking away happy, so it was a great day.
It was it’s one of those peak experiences.

Wow that is awesome and you know a lot of people would go through that process and keep it all to
themselves, so it’s absolutely great that
you through that process realized that everything is better when you share.
That’s an overstatement, everything is better when you share. God gives
you a testimony, so that you can share and you can encourage and it’s really
profound that you had this really record-breaking experience of everybody
wanted a piece because you’ve hit on something.
Happiness is a rare quality, even when you’ve got all you want
somehow a lot of people are still not happy and you know it’s really
interesting; but I did an interview on this show with a monk
called Swami G about 2 years and this morning Facebook shared the memory.
I reposted, he was saying that happiness doesn’t come from external
Sources, just like you have figured out it comes from inside and that’s why you
know the Buddhist monks talk about enlightenment, because when you’re
enlightened you know suffering and unhappiness doesn’t come to you.
I woke up this morning with some heavy things going on in my
life and my children, and when I posted it. I said, I wish that
I myself can tap into that field today. I was meditating this morning from very early in the morning and it just didn’t
work because my mind was too busy. So, if you have
gems that help people, that is why they’re lined up because it’s something that you know we all require at some point in time. We don’t have to be depressed but some days just knock you down. Good story so I’m glad that you
were able to bottle your experiences to help others to
to get there as well. You touched on something as well about you being
very spiritual and connected to source. So my second question is how can other
women use intuitive and spiritual practices as a guide for better relationships?

Let’s just add happiness on to that.
That’s the exciting part of my practice because when I’m sharing with women the seven principles that are in the book, Second Time Around,
meditation is number one and I’m glad that you’re a meditator because even
when we feel that, oh my God my mind is so busy it didn’t make a difference, it
does make a difference because you’re quieting your mind,
and it can give you a different perspective on a situation. I’ve
learned over time that women need to or benefit from having a different
perspective on the situation, or relationship, and dating and love and
happiness because we can as a group, are very sensitive and emotional. Some
more than others, and when we can tap into that place where we’re feeling not
as positive as we could and start to look at least one positive thing
about a situation, you recognize what they’re feeling and to shift. It’s kind of
like this morning you said you woke up with heavy feelings and the meditation
didn’t feel like it was making a difference, however if it ever entered
your mind that oh well this is something I could be thankful for in this
situation, that is going to raise your emotional tone.
We get stronger at managing our feelings and eventually we get to the place where
we can move more quickly up this emotional scale to happiness or at least
optimism, and after meditation if you say to yourself oh well it wasn’t
quite as bad as I thought because B and C is in place, you move up the scale.

You are correct, this morning I didn’t come up with
any positives, but I came up with some guidance and that’s basically what
happens when you quiet your mind right the Universe, God, your
Higher self gives you some guidance and some next steps.

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Some of the other principles have to do with just mining. Like gold mining your own story to figure out
what you really want to experience in relationship. Some women want to feel
pampered and protected and privileged, and you know what is it each woman needs is to discover or to remind herself what she really wants to experience in relationship. Some women are very conventional and they like the idea of
having a man play a man’s role, do the man things in in the conventional
sense, manage the house, take out the garbage,
that sort of thing. Other women want somebody to plan their
fun, so what is it that helps you feel the way you want to feel in
relationship, that you would like that other person to be doing?
That’s one of the key principles, there are seven total principles we don’t have
time to go into them all now. Meditation to manage your own
thoughts and feelings.

Awesome, alright so again we’re
touching on mindsets a little bit, so this is an interesting question for me to ask you because we’re specifically talking here about the, second time around. Women who has been divorced, the woman is maybe in a
committed relationship, maybe not necessarily married; but they’re
starting over again and your mindset is very crucial because your mindset can
actually keep you from making this a positive experience.
So what mindset do you coach your women and men then that they have to develop when they’re in the second time around?

I have the attitude that there is a lid for every pot.
That’s an old southern expression that means all they have to do is be very clear on the vision of what they want to experience and they will meet that person.
So those mindsets have to be in the present. If we’re going to develop a relationship a, second time around, that is satisfying and that can last. Having a lid and every pot means that
there’s a match for you somewhere, and if you have a clear vision on
the match you know as a coach as well any coaching whether it’s for whatever
you want just have a clear vision of it and that’s the way you attract it to you.
I was thinking that is the most important mindset that they have to develop is that they have release the baggage of the last relationship. How do you feel about that?

It’s important to be aware of the baggage of the last
relationship because it can be like a weight around your ankles pulling you
down and away from what you want. It’s also important to be able to shift
that attitude that you might have developed, that feeling about
relationship or about the opposite gender that you had. The awareness the
self-awareness of knowing what that attitude is that’s blocking you will
allow you to come up with an alternative, so that you can do the things, say the
things that will help you attract that clear vision that you have. That’s the
lid for your pot so to speak.

okay like I said in the beginning of the podcasts, I’ve been around
the block several times myself and what I have found. To clarify I have been married
like four times, what I have found is that a lot of times the baggage is
you come out of a relationship and there is a negative experience you make sure
that there’s not that a negative experience is not in your next partner;
but a lot of times you find something else right, so how do you coach women
around “hey I don’t want to have a guy like that again kind of scenario?

second time Love

love-sweeter-second-time-sweet-photos-eula-valdez-rocky-salumbides.html#73456

I understand what you’re saying and the
Law of our Universe, some people call it the Law of Attraction but the way it’s
set up is that it wants us to be happy that law is God in action or the
Universe in action or the Creator in action. We are put here to have fun
that’s the point in the studies that I have had
and so when we focus on what we really want the universe hears.
The trick becomes being able to manage your feelings and
your thoughts and your attitudes so that you’re focusing on what you really want
it doesn’t understand anything except for what you spend the most time
thinking about, so if you’re spending most of your time thinking about oh my
God that was the worst relationship ever, I never want to see a guy like that again! Well, that’s what you’re going to get more of or some variation, because you’re
spending so much time on it and that’s what a Universe is answering.

That is the perfect answer because, yes that is exactly what happens.
That’s why a lot of women go in relationships that are
almost the same because they keep attracting the same kind of man or the
same kind of relationship because they’re saying well this is this is what
I don’t want. Let’s take an example of a cheater, this is what I don’t want or
even an abusive relationship, and then you are cycling through those all the
time because they tell the universe what they don’t want and that is exactly what
shows up. I like what you said, whatever you spend time thinking about
whether it’s what you don’t want or what you do want then that’s what’s going to
show up. Excellent answer.

Patricia, who would you say is your ideal client?

My ideal client is a woman of experience and substance who has had more than one relationship, I used, second time around, because that’s a very familiar expression; but she usually has raised her children, she’s launched them
into college or into the work world and she’s comfortable in her career and in a single mom. All these years I’ve been raising the kids I’ve been taking care of other people. I have a great social life; but where is my special partner? I like this woman. I prefer this as the ideal client although men in the situation my teachings work as well; because they have had enough variety and experience they know what they want through conversation and we can plan how
their strategy is going to roll out and make it happen. I shouldn’t say
make it happen but we can work with my spiritual principles so that they’re very clear on what they want, they know how to manage their mindset, they know what they would prefer to experience, they’re open to using these practices. Example: One of my clients was sitting at an
outside cafe in my little town here of Menlo Park one afternoon with her
college son who was home for the holiday and a man saw her at this outside café,
parked his car came over to meet her. She had been trained by me who
had the strategy of being approachable, she looked radiantly beautiful; because I
said honey anytime you go out you have got to look good. People are attracted by
the visual. She was in line with that and so he came
over sat down next to her as if he were her best friend they started chatting
well as her calm was being the hostess and making him
feel comfortable; because she found out right away that he was her type of
guy. At the end of that short conversation, he passed his telephone
number to her on a napkin and said if you want to continue this just give me a
call, that was six years ago. They’re still together.
It’s about being clear, always being ready so you don’t have to
get ready and being ready for who comes into your world; so that you can check
them out and decide if you want to get to know them better.

I love the last tagline. I think Will Smith says that best he says you
should always be ready cause if you’re ready, you ain’t got to get ready.
All right now let’s get a little personal and transparent. I know
you’ve been happily married for over forty years
you talked in your BIO in your journey or your history that
there was a period of time when you were depressed, because you’re doing so much, and your happiness came after you decided that you had
a choice and it was not your husband or your kids job to make
you happy. I absolutely love that. I know this personally
because that’s the reason I’m finally happy. After
running around and trying to find happiness by having other people give it
to me, the reason I’m happy in my relationship
is because I meditate and I do me. I don’t depend on anyone
else to be to make me happy. I make myself happy; but I saw this in
print the other day when Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck had left her. He
cheated on her with the nanny and I think she was having an interview and
she said point blank that it was not Ben’s job to make sure that she was
happy. I’m sure a lot of people that are not in our space
wouldn’t understand that; but I absolutely loved it.
So what would you say is the reason for your marital success?

Well marital success means also that there’s a the dark side of it that there
are some times that are not successful and after years there have been times
where I haven’t been successful at being happily married and so now that I am
happily married, that I’ve gone through some things so the idea here is
every situation that has conflict in it, I have learned to ask
myself what would you prefer here Patricia? And when I get the answer to
that then I can get busy, I can start conversations. In the book, I’m leading
women to go from “first date to soul mate” with these principles and it doesn’t
stop once you meet and develop the relationship with your soulmate, the
conversations and the communication has to continue through the inevitable
conflicts that happen between two people in an intimate personal relationship. So
as a result I’ve learned to use that very powerful question
“What would you prefer here Patricia?” That tells me that I
need to start doing my practices and asking that question.
What is it you want the man to do? What it is you
want the woman to do? We don’t communicate what we want we just fight about it because we’re expecting to be mind reader’s.

As we wrap up our show today, Patricia how can our readers and listeners get in touch with you and get a copy of your book, second time around?

I would love to chat with people or let them know a link for the book and so I would ask people to just email me Patricia@datingdiamonds.com Put in the subject line “chat” or “Book” and I’ll send
you a copy of the book
which will go into some of the seven principles that I talked about.

Remember to subscribe to the Transform Your Mind podcast on iTunes
and leave a review. Much appreciated.

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How Can Millennial’s Find Their Purpose

Adulting and Purpose

As Millennial’s deal with adulting, they ask themselves, What is my purpose? What is the reason for my existence?

Today on the “Transform your Mind with Coach Myrna Podcast”, I interview the Author of “The Millenial’s Playbook to Adulting”, Arika L. Pierce
The first step is to find your passion. This is where you find that

you can be in it all day long and you don’t feel tired and you don’t feel

bored and you’re just illuminated and just joyful and and it’s a great way

to live your life. You know when you live

a passionless life just because you’re making money does not mean that you are living with passion.

Let me share a personal story. My daughter always felt that she was supposed to be a

Psychologist, getting her degree and everything. Along that journey

she read Nelson’s Mandela’s book “A long walk to freedom” and decided that

she needed to become a political advocate and she just switched right

away. She applied and got into American University,

the top political science university with no background in politics.

Today she’s working for a company right next door

to the White House, and doing some great great work at Common Cause.

I didn’t even think about that until right now and that’s what I like about

the Holy Spirit or of my Higher Self

things pop into my head. It is also an example of leaning your ladder up against the wrong

building! My next question is a follow-up to the first and it is do you agree that

we’re all meant to do a certain thing on this earth? And what is your advice

to Millennial’s to find out their purpose? How Can Millennial’s Find Their Purpose?

Let’s say using my daughter story that she didn’t know what

her purpose was. She went to school and maybe felt

psychology is a job that can make her money that’s where a lot of Millennial’s

Park right, so what advice do you give them?

To answer your first question in terms of do I think we’re

all here to do something, yes I definitely believe that we individually

are all here to bring some value or offer something back to the

world. I believe some of us it takes longer than others

but; I do believe we are all here to accomplish something and I think we

probably give different weight to what we accomplish. Just because what you believe it is something small it can be

transformational to somebody else. In terms of what I believe Millennial’s can

do in terms of finding their purpose, I actually think it starts with a very

simple concept and that is honestly taking time to think and to plan and I

think when we sit back and you when you look at your life if you plan it with

the level of detail that you plan for example a vacation you’d be surprised

about you know how much how differently you might view things.

I recommend taking one hour a week to evaluate where you are and where you want to go.

The timeline might be where I want to go this week, it might be where I want to go

in the next year, in the next two years or five years from now. Whatever time

period I feel I need to think about it and plan for at that time for example if you’re thinking

I hate my job, it’s not fulfilling this is

not my purpose. Then you know think about what would make you feel more

purposeful? What are the types of positions or jobs that you would like to

be in? And then what are the steps that you need to take to get there. Do you

need to you know go back to school? Do you need to join a networking group?

My daughter came to me one day and said that she wants to become a politician

and I look at her this sweet innocent person that had no politician skills or

natural talents and I said to her

“How do you get there how do you get from where you are today to where you want to be tomorrow?”

As her coach we planned it Toastmasters and learn how to speak in front of people,

school for political science, volunteer so she can get

some political experience and things like that so yeah and you got to make a

plan and the beautiful thing about it you know is that it might feel

far-fetched but you never know if it’s really your purpose the universe, God

will step in and help you get there. That’s why when my daughter

applied to American University she said she only had a 30% chance of being accepted. She said I’ll apply there’s no hope

that I’m gonna get in and guess what she got in because she’s on purpose

because God helps you if you are on purpose.!

Don’t ever think that anything is too big for God.

Les Brown says reach for the the stars, you might fallback on the moon!

I agree. One of my favorite quotes is

If your dreams don’scare you, they’re not big enough.

You have to become comfortable with being uncomfortable and that’s

really I think when you accept that, it will help you in finding your purpose.

Especially if you’re not currently living what you believe to be your

purpose. I like that one I mean you you talked

about it before you must really live by that and it’s very true you know when my

daughter went to Washington she was incredibly uncomfortable, she was in

a city that she didn’t know anyone, she was going into something that she didn’t

know anything about and it was uncomfortable and that’s only way you

grow.

Alright so and this is coming from your book, you’ve got a

chapter in your book about your giving advice and strategies and how

Millennial’s can achieve their goals in the workplace; but I like the word hustle

that you used to describe this. You advise to hustle to get what you want in this world. I think when

you hustle you have to you have to be hungry you have to really want

it. You have to be motivated and so I think to your point earlier, when

it’s something that you truly want and you feel passionate about or you really

wanted to achieve the hustle actually comes fairly easy at least in the

beginning because you know you most likely will accept that challenge and want to go

after it. Where it becomes a challenging I would say is consistently

hustling, always having that thirst, that hunger to push yourself further and

that sometimes can be where we tend to fall off. That’s human

nature, you have to learn to hold yourself accountable and to make sure that you are you’re hitting

your own personal benchmarks and hitting your own personal

goals. And so a good way to keep the hustle mentality I would say is to make

sure that you have measurable things that you want to do and so that way

you’ve got a way to check yourself. I’ll give you an example and

this is a personal example. I want to be in better shape, which i think is a

goal that everyone has, most people have I should say. It’d be easy to say

I want to I want to work out more; but instead I tell myself, I want to go to the gym 170 times this year and that is a very measurable

thing for me because you know in the beginning I started this in January

I was on target, I was hitting it and so then February sort of started to

fall off, in March a little bit more and so in the past month I went and did the math

and I counted how many times I had gone however these days were left of the year

and so that was real data that said okay I got a hustle cause I only have so many

days of the year left. I can quickly

do sort of a check-in to see what I need to do to continue to get there something

like that can be applied to so many areas of your life. So

professionally you know when someone says I want to work in a different

industry I would say okay, why don’t you make a list of ten people that work

in that industry and give yourself a period of time to contact them and to

meet with them. And so again that’s measurable the in that very moment you

might say oh yeah let me reach out to all ten of them and then two weeks, two

months later you realize that you didn’t follow through and you didn’t end up

meeting with them or or you only met with two.

Something like that, so I think the best way to keep the

hustle is to hold yourself accountable and to really have some some specific

objectives that you have to check in, to make sure you’re going to

meet whatever is your at your end goal.

That’s awesome, very powerful analogy. I love the personal one that you did because

everybody knows and that is why they push gym memberships; because people have short term goals

and when those goals are accomplished, they abandon their goals. I

mean this is turning out to be an episode about my daughter but; all of a sudden recently

she has been going to kickboxing, she’s been working out at a

gym, and the first thing I said to her because I know her, what exactly is

your motivation? It turns out she’s going to Spain and she wants to look good in her bathing suit!

She’s hustling because she’s got a short-term goal. What I like about your analogy is that you’ve pushed it out for a year.

And you hold yourself accountable to that hundred and seventy.

You know if you get down to November and you want to be accountable to yourself

because it’s another thing that I you know I coach and I also I hold myself accountable to

because if your mind can’t trust you or your body can’t trust

you or you can’t trust you then it goes downhill from there.Sso if you may have a commitment

to yourself then you got to keep it. That is where coaching comes in because one of the

most powerful reasons to have a coach is to keep you accountable because most

people cannot keep themselves accountable. Me and you

probably can, because we’re coaches that work in that space but; a lot of people

can’t and they would go for five years and make any headway towards their goals.

I’ve coached lots of people that want to lose weight and you know something always

comes up; But as a coach we know there are all excuses.

But when I was talking about hustling I remember people like

jay-z and P-Diddy. Someone else just popped into my mind. I’m getting goosebumps at this one so there’s a powerful one you

know Tiffany Haddish she just won a an Academy Award by Essence Magazine. and she told

her story and she talked about the hustle. She was homeless, she was living

in a car and she told of hustling her manager every day. She would go to her managers office every day

asking what she got for her. Begging her to put me in something put me in

anything! and she hustled she didn’t sit home and wait for the call.

Then you know finally they they put her in something and she was the breakout

star in “Girls Trip” now she’s everywhere she’s got like three movies and a TV show!

One of my favorite I would say just hustlers and it has

nothing to do with even being a fan of his music or art but really it’s Puff

Daddy. I live in Washington DC and Puff gave a speech at Howard University and what

some people may not know is that he really wanted to work in the music industry and he would take the train

or the bus every single day up to New York

and he would wash the car of one of the top music executives Andre Harrell and

so and he would do that, just go back and forth you know I mean it’s a

four-hour train ride back and forth but that’s what he did until he finally got

a job at the record label and so and what’s interesting example yeah yes and

I’m one that I follow him on social media because he’s always trying to motivate

and he’s always hustling me the man has all the money all right he has

that hustle mentality where you know he’s hosting a TV show he’s still making

music he still you know producing people he’s putting his son’s out there I mean

it’s it never stops because it’s who he is. He will always be driven

to continue to take himself to the next level.

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What do you have in your hand? God used the staff Moses had in his hand to help his achieve his purpose.

I use that analogy because when you’re finding

your purpose you mentioned what are your interests and what excites you but

I’m going to add to that what are you good at. What’s your natural ability?

What’s your natural talent? Because that’s what you have in your hand.

Ray Charles was born blind and he just picked up a piano and played. But

but some of us has to do these stepping stones. Let’s you talk about adulting.

In your book, in fact your book is called “the Millennial’s playbook adulting” Can you explain

what you mean by adulting and how that relates to How to Find your Purpose?

Adulting is actually a it’s a millennial term.

Social media usually uses funny hashtags like

I’m doing laundry hashtag #adulting pain pills #adulting. I’m over

#adulting. Adulting is really just the idea of growing up frankly and taking on new

responsibilities and transitioning into an adult. I would say being more

independent and if in terms of how can a dull teen connect to her purpose? I

think that one of the things I you know in my coaching is what did I tell people

and tell the Millennial that I work with is when you are transitioning into an adult

you are now the owner of your life. I actually say you’re the CEO of ME

Incorporated and part of that is determining what you want to do and so it’s no longer what your

parents what you to do or what your teachers or grandparents want you to do.

All of these influencers who have really directed you for the majority of

your life so far this next phase of your life is really about running your own life

like a CEO. A CEO runs her company as she sees fit. and so you know I think often times there

are Millennial’s who are in professions because that’s what their

parents wanted them to do or that’s what was expected of them or that’s what they

said they were going to do and they were embarrassed to change their

minds. Well if you want to change your mind, it is now up to you to do so. That’s

part of being an adult. It’s unlikely that someone is going to come

to you and to say I think that you need to change your

passion or your job. So I would just encourage Millennial’s

especially to think about what they want out of life.

Don’t for others to direct your path, certainly others can help lead

you in the direction that you want to go to, and I am a firm believer of

leveraging a personal board of advisers and your mentors and people

around you to help you and to guide you and to get feedback. But it is

really up to you to do the exercises, to do the work, and to decide where you want

to go next or where you want to take your life professionally.

On the first page of your book you made

the humorous statement and I quote

“Dear Universe I miss the how to be an adult 101 class, send help and my mom and wine”

I thought that was humorous. So my question to you is which adulting class did you

think that you missed and have the most struggle with?

Probably for me it’s the financial class. I

actually spoke to a group of Millennial’s yesterday as part

of a fellowship program and one of the questions they asked was can you tell me about managing my finances?

I admitted to them that managing my finances especially when I was younger

and like 20 was very difficult. I sort of used my debit card like a gift card, just

charge and see how much it is. So and that wasn’t that wasn’t smart

decision making and I think that as I’ve grown up I’ve been forced

to become much more financially literate. I just don’t mean you know okay I

save money now that that’s that’s not being fighting totally financially

literate I mean really understanding you know what’s coming in what’s going out

I’m having that data point and now you know there’s lots of apps that can help

you figure that out as well as understanding what’s the best way to say

it’s my money what are what are you know but ways that I can you know increase

increase my my my salary or my revenue streams besides just my day-to-day

nine-to-five job understanding the stock market understanding you know investments and

things like that especially being an entrepreneur really understanding those

types of things are really important and so I think that I came from a very

traditional family that was you put some money in a saving account you do that

every single week and you will likely not you know that’s the best thing you

won’t go poor that’s how you do it but that but there’s so much more to that

and so that was part of the I would say the adulting class that there I have I

had to say have one that I did not get that I probably you know still learning

but you know came to me much much later in life that I think is very critical

um to proper adult thing yeah that’s actually pretty good you know I helped

my daughter a lot with that but I’m just learning that now in my 50s so I

understand that because you know our parents certainly didn’t sit down and

teach us because they didn’t even know themselves so that was a perfect answer

I love it alright so tell our listeners how they can get in touch her to you if

they want any kind of coaching or to purchase a copy of your book sure you

can go to my website

www.arikapierce.com

Please subscribe to this #podcast on iTunes

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The Millennial Playbook: Unpacking Limiting Beliefs

00:19
Welcome to the Transform your Mind Radio
00:23
Show and Podcast my name is Myrna Young
00:27
Certified Professional Coach, Author and
00:31
Your Host. Each week I bring you an inspiring
00:38
guest or a solo coaching session
00:43
to Help you Live your Best Lives Now
00:48
by transforming your mindset. Thanks
00:52
for tuning in today and I hope that this
00:55
segment meets you at your point of need.
01:05

Transform your Mind with Coach Myrna podcast

Today we start a new series with the
01:17
author of the Millennial Playbook Ms
01:21
Erica L Pierce. Arica is going to be
01:27
starting off our discussion today
01:31
unpacking how limiting beliefs can
01:35
destroy your self-confidence.
01:37
Welcome Arica, Thank you so much for being on the show.
01:41
I’m not happy to be here. I am
01:44
going to enjoy our conversation. I am at
01:47
The mother of a Millennial, so
01:51
thank you so much for sending me a copy
01:53
of your book. It is an awesome book and I
01:55
plan to share it when I’m done with it.
01:57
Yeah you’re welcome
02:00
all right well before we get started
02:04
with our show today I am excited to announce
02:09
a new contest that I am going to be
02:13
running for the next four weeks. In
02:17
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02:20
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02:26
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02:54
hate to have Ads pop up every five
02:57
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02:59
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03:02
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03:10
mentioned before we’re going to have one
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03:16
for the next four weeks, so get your
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entries in. To enter, all you need
03:24
to do is post your review to the
03:28
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03:30
podcast on iTunes and then email me @
03:35
info@myhelps.us with the subject
03:40
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03:45
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03:50
to mix_amore dating app. This membership is
03:57
valued at $74.99 and I love it because we
04:04
are targeting this broadcast to
04:07
Millennials and Millennials love apps! I
04:10
think that the word APP was created
04:13
for the younger generation. I remember
04:16
there is this new APP called Vimeo that you
04:20
send money and my daughter was very impressed that
04:25
I had this app. She said mom you know
04:27
About Vimeo? I said yes because I am cool!
04:30
I only knew of this app because I listen to podcast!
04:51
and I know in your book
04:53
Arika you talk about podcasts and you
04:56
actually plug podcasts.
04:58

#1 Rank on iTunes

I was listening to Tony
05:01
Robbins podcast and he brought on the
05:03
founder of Vimeo. I had never
05:06
heard of Vimeo before
05:07
I only knew of PayPal. So yeah you know
05:10
learning is important you learn from all
05:13
different sources.
05:16
All right well let me tell you a little
05:18
bit more of my guest today Miss Arica
05:22
Pierce is a generational strategist and
05:26
Attorney, author, a millennial coach
05:30
and speaker and again I’m learning
05:34
because she introduced me to this new
05:37
Term, Xennial. Of course you
05:43
know Arica is going to expand on that term
05:45
but Arica has a unique perspective and
05:49
has developed strategies and techniques
05:52
to bridge Millennials to generations
05:55
before and after them. So welcome again
05:59
Arica. I normally start off the show
06:03
by asking my guests to tell me their
06:08
journey from you know to where they are
06:11
today you know and yours is I’m very
06:14
curious because you have different genres. you are an
06:21
Attorney, Generational Strategist which
06:24
to me is a coach and an Author.
06:27
So, tell me how did you come about to
06:31
embark on this journey, and how did you
06:34
get to where you are today.

06:36
Thank you so much for having me on, I’m
06:39
really excited about our discussion
06:41
today and yes I mean it has been a
06:44
journey but you know I think really my
06:47
my path professionally and awesome
06:50
personally has been a testament of just
06:53
something I believe in which is to
06:54
always evolve and to be to be
06:57
comfortable with being uncomfortable so
06:59
I you know sort of dipped my toe in a
07:02
couple of different areas and I just see
07:05
where it goes so in terms of how I went
07:10
from being an Attorney to now focused on
07:14
bridging generations and coaching
07:17
Millennials. Really it goes back to the
07:20
term that you use before Xenial.
07:22
Which it’s a real term, I didn’t make it
07:25
Up. I get asked that all the time.
07:27
It’s you know if you read certain
07:29
articles and as such even in places like
07:32
New York Times they use the term Xennial. That means is that I am
07:37
the micro generation between Generation
07:40
X and millennial. I was born in March 1980
07:45
and Millennials you know the years vary
07:49
a little bit in terms of the source the
07:51
source that’s defining Millennials but
07:53
usually they’re born between 1981 and
07:59
1996; and so I’m sort of in this
08:03
in-between place where I remember life
08:05
without you know technology being in
08:08
your hands and having the internet you
08:10
Know. I remember way before any apps and
08:16
it’s such but also I you know I’m still
08:19
on the younger side enough
08:22
where I now live a life where I am very
08:25
dependent on apps. I mean
08:28
I download apps from the from the app
08:31
store on a weekly basis. I have everything
08:40
Delivered. I don’t know why anyone would
08:42
even go to the grocery store or
08:44
mall anymore.
08:46
Yeah, you are a user. Okay so, you
08:51
understand both sides of the perspective
08:53
and I think that naturally just
08:56
made me a bridge. Also in my
09:01
professional life. I mean even when I
09:03
worked as an Attorney and in
09:06
other sort of consulting work,
09:08
I was the one that was always trying to
09:11
help that younger generation even though
09:14
I wasn’t much older but still coaching them
09:17
through some of the things that I had
09:20
learned through my journey and that I
09:22
had learned from all the generations
09:24
that they didn’t necessarily
09:26
want to hear. So I just
09:28
naturally became that that bridge and I
09:31
started to do some informal coaching and some informal speaking
09:37
about the bridge of generations.
09:40
How we can work together and better
09:42
understand each other and that sort of
09:45
Things. This new career focus has
09:49
has brought me in terms of really
09:51
focusing on strategizing so
09:54
that the four generations that are now
09:56
working together in the workplace can
09:58
can really get along.
10:02
To be quite honest as well as making
10:05
sure the millennial generation is better
10:08
understood that they’re more successful
10:10
and they don’t
10:13
necessarily live up to the bad rap that
10:15
they get in the
10:17
media and from other folks so helping
10:19
them to sort of break out of that
10:20
millennial negative brand.
That is awesome. We’re off
12:31
to a great start. You’re doing good
12:33
work because each generation has
12:36
their little quirks and the things that
12:38
they do and bridging them is really
12:42
Good. You ended up saying
12:45
that four generations are in the
12:47
workplace and yeah I’m pretty sure that
12:51
management can they can benefit
12:54
from reading some of the information in
12:57
your book, so that they can know how to
12:58
talk to at least one of their
13:00
Generations! All right, so what do
13:07
you feel are some of the limiting
13:09
mindsets that Millennials have?
13:12
I’d like to turn to your book on
13:15
page 15, you say that Millennials are
13:21
described as Entitled, Impatient, Tech
13:25
Obsessed, Pampered, Self-absorbed and Lazy.
13:30
So, that’s how people feel about them but
13:33
how do they feel about themselves?
13:36
According to your research how
13:40
does that affect some of the
13:44
limiting mindsets that they have?
13:48
I think it’s a great
13:52
question that I wish more people would
13:55
Ask, because I feel like there’s
13:58
lots of people that are talking about
13:59
what they think Millennials are like and
14:03
not as many people asking
14:05
what do Millennials know. How do they
14:07
view themselves? I’ll say this
14:11
I think that Millennials
14:14
don’t view themselves as any of
14:16
these of these adjectives that you just
14:19
Listed. Certainly none of these are very
14:21
Positive; but I do think that
14:25
they have a mindset that backed by
14:29
parts of their upbringing. So, for example
14:32
Millennials are definitely part of that
14:35
everyone gets a trophy generation, so because of
14:39
that they definitely have a mindset
14:42
where everyone is equal. I think
14:46
in many ways that can be limiting
14:48
especially as they transition to
14:51
adults and transition into their careers
14:53
and into the workplace. The reason
14:56
why I say this is because I think
14:58
Millennials oftentimes again they
15:01
Feel they’re entitled.
15:03
They feel that on their
15:05
first day of work they could be the boss.
15:06
Even though they have
15:08
zero work experience, they still feel that everyone is
15:11
equal and so they should have all the
15:13
same access and an
15:18
ability to share their mind and speak
15:20
their views. As much as someone who’s
15:22
been doing the job for a much longer
15:24
period of time that they have.

Millennials communicate and the level of
16:34
transparency that they’re they’ve grown
16:37
accustomed to again I think you know for
16:40
Millennials the mindset is that
16:43
communication should be quick, it should
16:45
be easy, you don’t necessarily have to
16:47
think too much about it, you could just
16:49
send someone over a text message.
16:51
I think that can be limiting especially as you transition
16:58
to work. Sometimes we need
17:07
to be more thoughtful with our
17:09
approaches especially at work and
17:12
in professional capacities. I mean
17:15
sometimes you need to think through what you say, and how you say it, who
17:19
you’re saying it to.

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So this is good wisdom and that is
19:53
absolutely a trait of the Millennials
19:57
nobody thinks about
19:58
anything and I like the fact that you
20:00
said that they want to access they think
20:02
that they can come into
20:06
a job and they don’t care that
20:08
somebody’s been there 30 years that they
20:10
feel they’re entitled
20:12
to the same to the same access but you
20:15
know on the flip side of that again as
20:18
you were talking about everyone
20:21
gets the trophy and everyone is equal.
20:23
I’m seeing that in relationships and I
20:26
guess at some point in our show, I don’t
20:30
know if you touch on this in
20:31
your book; but we should look at how
20:33
Millennials deal with
20:35
Relationships. It’s obviously equal since there’s so much
20:40
interracial marriages.
21:00
The next question I have is how do
21:03
you feel that these limiting
21:07
mindsets erode self-confidence.
21:29
Self-confidence sure I mean I I think
21:33
honestly that the everyone gets a
21:37
trophy I think that can have
21:40
definite have a negative
21:43
impact on your self-confidence. So, for
21:46
example if I have been raised in a way
21:49
where I believe that I’m
21:52
entitled to justice, when I am faced with
21:58
Rejection, that certainly will impact my
22:03
self-confidence. so even though you may you
22:09
believe that you are equal, when
22:13
you first get that rude awakening that you’re not, that
22:17
Starts to happen sometimes in your early
22:26
Twenties, especially when you’re in
22:27
College; but definitely once you
22:30
enter into the workplace. I think that
22:33
that’s when you know you really see that
22:35
there are going to be people who will
22:36
quickly rise to the top and they’re
22:38
going to be people who will
22:41
stay at the bottom and that’s why it’s
22:43
important to make sure you’re doing
22:45
everything you can to make
22:49
yourself stand out in a positive way
22:51
from your peers. I do believe that
22:54
you know that’s where self-confidence is
22:56
really important because if you don’t
22:59
have that confidence even when
23:01
you start to become more competitive
23:03
with others that’s when a
23:06
lack of self-confidence can start to
23:09
to take over. I also think again going
23:12
back to technology that
23:14
definitely impacts self-confidence and
23:18
and that just the reliance on technology
23:20
because of social media to be honest
23:23
with you, we live in a world now
23:26
where there’s so much competition on
23:28
social media to live your best
23:31
Life.
24:17
Millennials are the first generation
24:19
where they honestly are living two lives. I mean
24:22
they have their real life in love and they have this social
24:26
media life. They have to deal with
24:29
as well and I know a lot of times non
24:31
Millennials don’t take that seriously
24:33
they’ll say well that’s just silly that
24:35
you know someone is so concerned with
24:37
social media that they was that would
24:39
impact their self-confidence or how they
24:41
feel about themselves but that’s real
24:43
Life. We have to acknowledge
24:46
that and we have to help
24:49
Millennials to work through those
24:51
types of those issues.

Adulting

I want to talk to Arica on the topic of Adulting, that she
28:45
talks a lot about in her book.
28:46
I actually heard it somewhere else on social media.
28:48
It’s just a beautiful word and I loved
28:55
it and that is adulting.
29:00
Can you explain it what
29:04
exactly is adulting and how does that
29:08
relate to our topic on mindset today?

29:40
Adulting just means that you’re doing the duties and the
29:57
responsibilities of a fully developed adult.
30:08
Millennials use it a lot you know to be
30:10
Funny; but I do think that there
30:13
is that the term does make a
30:16
lot of sense I mean I think it could be
30:18
used as both like a verb and all
30:23
different types of ways; but I do think
30:26
for Millennials specifically the
30:29
transition to adulting has been a
30:32
little bit tougher than previous
30:34
Generations. So that’s why there’s so
30:36
much emphasis on adulting.
30:40
I see with a lot of Millennials that I
30:41
Coach, there is a reluctance to sort of let go from
30:48
Childhood.

I know you talk about branding and you talk
32:00
about looking for a job and becoming a
32:11
fully developed adult. What are some of
32:14
the plays that you talked about in your
32:16
book to help Millennials?

What I try to do in the book is give very
32:23
actionable advice. It’d be
32:26
really easy to write a book and say go
32:28
out and be a successful adult and you
32:31
Know, make good decisions and you know
32:33
Exercise, drink water, and keep a job and
32:36
save money right? I mean that those are I
32:39
would say a lot of us don’t create goals
32:40
but the specifics are not there; so I
32:44
really use every chapter to give very
32:47
clear or actionable advice on
32:51
how you can do specific things. For
32:54
Example, when I talk about how
32:57
to look for a job I go through the
32:58
Specifics. Why it’s important
33:01
to have things like a LinkedIn profile,
33:03
when you’re applying for jobs
33:14
that you’re doing it in the right way.
33:15
How to make sure that you are
33:17
presenting your best
33:20
self on interview day what to do in
33:23
terms of following up after an interview.
33:25
Once you have the job, how to keep the
33:28
job and again I go very specific. I say
33:31
things like on your first day
33:33
set three goals of the things that you
33:36
want to accomplish at that job and it’s
33:38
not just you know I want to do I want to
33:40
do well here. It’s what are three things
33:42
you want to do? Do you want to work on a
33:43
certain project? Do you want to get promoted
33:45
within six months? Things like
33:48
That. I go again very detailed to make sure you get to work on
33:55
Time. Getting to work on time, being at
33:57
your desk ready to work as soon as you
34:04
know you’re supposed to be there. Etc. It’s
34:07
very specific you know in
34:10
terms of those types of things.
34:12
Networking when you go to a networking
34:14
event make sure you speak with three people and stay 30
34:17
minutes after. All of those types of things make you
34:25
a successful adult. That’s why I called it a
34:29
playbook that was in a usable format
34:32
easy to read I tell stories of based
34:36
upon my own adulting experiences.

I like what you say about your brand is
35:14
that you are the CEO of ME Incorporated,
35:17
the chief marketing officer for the
35:20
brand to call you.
35:21
As a coach that’s what I teach my clients, that you
35:27
are you are the lid.

That goes back to being the CEO of ME
37:00
Inc. It’s up to you to make sure that
37:03
you’re running your own brand and you
37:05
are really developing those
37:08
qualities about yourself that will set
37:11
you apart in a very positive way and it
37:14
makes everyone have a very positive sort
37:16
of brand experience from you the same
37:19
way that we expect out of the
37:20
brands that we use like Target and Apple
37:23
and you know Chipotle

As we close Arica how you readers pick up a copy of your book?
44:33
Arica will be back for several more
44:46
episodes and we will dive in deeper into
44:50
some of the other things and traits that
44:54
Millennials can use some help with in
44:58
order to succeed and to Live their Best
45:01
Lives Now. Not when you’re 80,
45:04
not when you’re 50 not when they’re 40
45:06
But right now.
45:38
All of the things that come with
45:40
Adulting, one of the things that I always
45:43
suggest to some of the Millennials that
45:45
I coach is taking one hour a week to
45:49
think and to strategize about what you
45:52
want to happen in your life.
45:55
if you think about it one hour a
45:57
week is not that it’s not that much but
46:01
you’d be surprised if you just
46:03
take that time turn off your phone turn
46:05
off technology and just think about I
46:08
like to put mine in a notebook and think
46:10
about what are your goals for the week
46:12
it might be for the month for the year
46:14
but just spend that time thinking that
46:18
can really help you I believe with your
46:20
self-confidence because it will give it
46:22
will give you an opportunity to start to
46:24
put some order and what you want to do
46:28
which I think can you know what helps us
46:30
make better decisions and also helps us
46:32
feel better about ourselves when we
46:34
really feel like we are going down a
46:36
circuit path instead of just sort of
46:39
living by the you know the seat of our
46:41
pants so that would be my advice is take
46:45
time to think and if it can’t be an hour
46:47
make it half hour make it 10 minutes but
46:50
then some time or just strategizing on
46:52
your life right now as a millennial and
46:55
that will really help you draw out your
46:58
past going forward awesome. Yes I agree
47:04
I meditate every morning and
47:07
I will tell you that it really affects
47:10
everything it just not only affects your
47:12
mood affect your vibration.
47:15
but yeah it’s you know you can’t go
47:19
anywhere if you don’t have a goal you
47:21
know like one of my favorite sayings
47:23
yeah one of my favorite things in
47:25
something that Millennials can understand
47:27
which is Alice in Wonderland is that
47:30
If you don’t know where
47:32
you’re going then it doesn’t matter
47:33
where you end up! So you got to strategize
47:37
and you have to have a plan.
47:42
Without a plan it stays a dream.
48:16

To purchase a copy of my book “ The Millennial’s Playbook to Adulting” you can visit Arika on the web @

www.arikapierce.com

Remember to subscribe to the #1 podcast on iTunes and we
53:18
will see you back here next week at the
53:21
same time.

So what time is it? It is time for you to STEP OUT and STEP UP
53:41

The time is NOW to transform your MINDSET so that you can LIVE YOUR BEST LIVES NOW!

How to Flow with Desire

How to Flow with Desire

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How to Flow with Desire: Welcome to the Transform your Mind Radio show and podcast my name is Myrna Young Certified Professional Coach, Author and your Host, each week I bring you an inspiring guest or a solo coaching message to Help you Live your Best Lives Now by Transforming your Mindset.
Thanks for tuning in today and I hope that this segment meets you at your point of need.

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01:05
Today we are concluding our series on the Alchemy of Desire with a solo
coaching session, today it’s just gonna be you in me. I will be sharing
with you an excerpt from one of my previous interviews; but for the most
part it’s going to be you and me because I wanted this to be a coaching session on now that you have gotten what you desired. How to Flow with Desire.

In our previous five episodes of teaching you how to use the fantastic
and magical transformation of the word Alchemy to get your most desired thing. Whether it’s a relationship, whether it’s a job whether it’s Travel, whatever is your most intimate desire we’ve been teaching you, me and my co-host miss Margo Blake has been teaching you how to achieve the Alchemy of Desire which is the magical transformation of thoughts into manifestation.

02:39 Today I want to conclude with now that you’ve got it how
to flow with it so we’re calling this episode “How to Flow with your Desire”

Abraham Hicks: How to Flow with Desire
02:52
Today I start a contest. We will be giving away a Free Annual Subscription
to Mix_ Amore, which is the Newest Hottest Dating App as seen on Shark Tank. This one year free membership I should say VIP membership includes video instant Messenger, Hot List, chat advantages and NO advertisements just to name a few of the Perks. I will be picking one winner a week for the next four weeks to anyone
who enters the contest by posting a review of this podcast on iTunes, so all you need to do to enter this contest is to go to iTunes. Look for the Transform your Mind with Coach Myrna podcast leave a review and then send me an email to info@myhelps.us, with the subject line “podcast review” and then you
will be entered in to the contest. We will be drawing one winner per week and mthis VIP membership is valued at $74.99; so you know if you have been listening to this radio show and podcast and you are getting valuable information from this podcast and radio show then yeah it would be nice for you to tell us in a review.

05:36
Let me recap our five previous episodes this is episode number six .
In our first episode we talked about “ How to Manifest the Desires of your heart and the first
step was knowing what you want, and once you know what you want in order t activate it you need to put some emotion to it and that is how you activate the Law of Attraction.

06:15 In our second episode, we talked about “How to use the Energy of Desire to create something magical.

06:23 In our third episode we talked “How to put Attention on your Desire so that you can light your desires a fire!

06:37 In our 4th episode we talked about “How Infidelity Affects Intimacy” and our desire for our partners.

06:51 In our last episode we talked about “How to Prevent the EBB in long term relationships because you know hat there’s always Ebb and Flow; but we want it to flow.


07:19 If you missed any of these episodes please download them
on iTunes, Stitcher, Tune in or Google Play podcast players, and please remember to subscribe so that you wouldn’t miss any more.

07:40
All right so let’s get on with the show! Let’s dive right in as I
mentioned before our topic today is going to be “How to Flow with your Desire”
Another way of saying that is

“How to keep what you now have”

07:58 What you have in your hands need some work, you just don’t
get it and then you don’t have to do anything else.
Relationships require work, and most people have a false sense of entitlement.
They feel that it is enough that they are just there in the relationship and
all they have to do is show up or come home every night and they feel that
they’re doing something. People think that you should love them as they are
and they don’t need any work or they don’t need to make any changes.

08:37 I remember one of my ex-husband’s actually saying this to me.
A few months after we were married I asked him to take more care with his
Appearance and hygiene because he was walking around looking like he was homeless and this was his response and I quote “This is what you bought and you can’t send it back” A lot of people feel that hey you picked me, you bought me, you got into a relationship with me, so you must be okay with how I am, and you know you gotta put up or shut up. But that does not lead to a healthy relationship.

09:22 Some ask why do I have to do all this work? I have heard people say it’s either a fit or it’s or it’s not. Why try to force a square peg in a round hole? Good question. It’s true, that there are some square pegs that definitely do not need to be forced into a round hole because it’s never gonna fit right; but we’re not talking about the obvious misfits. We’re talking about couples have some synergy. They have love but they just got to do a little bit of work.

10:09 We all know the spouse or a partner that just comes home and turn on the TV and pay his partner no attention. Those are the ones were talking about. Relationship needs work to keep them fresh and healthy.

10:28 When relationships are not fresh and healthy, couples then become roommates and it’s never more evident as when you go to your partner and you say “Hey this is not working out, I think we should we should go our separate ways and they say sure why not. They agree! My gosh that is like a slap in your face or like someone throwing a cold bucket of water on you! That is not the response you want but; that’s what happens when the relationship Ebbs and Ebbs and nobody pays any attention and you’re now just roommates. What has happened is that your partner has emotionally checked out a long time ago and they’re just there for I don’t know, finances, the children or whatever the reason.

11:20 When you break up with someone you want them
to miss you. You want them to chase you. You don’t want them to say.
“Sure, why not!”. That’s not the response that we should get when
we’re trying to terminate a relationship right?

11:48 I remember reading Gabrielle Union’s book we’re going to need more wine and she told the story a very sad story about the night she had a fight with her first husband. She describes this relationship as feeling like you are driving towards a brick wall yet being incapable of mashing on the breaks! Her marriage was going down the tank for a long time but she didn’t want to give up on it. So, she told the story about a night she had a fight with her husband one of their many fights and she ran out the house in the middle of the night, four o’clock in the morning or some ridiculous time like that. She expected her husband to chase her because you know your husband should be worried about you, he’s supposed to be to protect you!
Gabriel ended up sitting by a tree and falling asleep. When she woke up in the morning she was sure that her husband was worried about her and called the cops. She expected to find cops all over her house when she got home. Instead she found her husband fast asleep.
That’s when she realized there was no hope for her marriage.

13:44 So ladies and gentlemen, Ask yourself what do you bring to the table?
You now have the object of your affection, you won. He or she is now yours what are you going to do to keep him or her?
Ladies maybe you were a seductress and got the man interested, now what? What else you got?
One quality will bring someone to the table and even make them fall in love with you but it will not keep them. It will not hold them.
Lots of people love others but can’t live with them.
Lot of couples divorce yet are still in love, that is because you need a pairing of attractive qualities.
A one hat trick is not going to be enough in the long run.
Ladies, You know that there is a long line of seductress waiting around the corner to entice your man.
Men if all you got, is that you are the provider, well all your woman has to do is look to the left or right and find another man with a job and he can replace you.
What is your unique paring?
This information was the reason I went through 4 husbands.
They all had one thing but not the unique pairing I required to hold me.
I will tell you it took me almost 30 years to find it in my current relationship.
My unique paring was ambition and genuine caring. Caring for me and my daughter.
When you get this unique paring you get not only an attraction but you get an addiction.
The “and” is what makes you difficult to replace.
What I would like to do now is play for you an except from one of the relationship experts I interviewed on this show to add some context to our conversation. Ms Inez Bracy is a coach and author of Rejuvenate your life: 21 days to feel like a woman again.

The Alchemy of Desire

18:25 21 Days to feel like a woman again by Inez Bracy

1. Meditation
Your journey begins whenever you say it is.
Now is this moment if you decide this second yeah this makes perfect sense to me. I am going to do something to start changing my life.
If you decide that that’s perfect and you go into silence and into meditation, being still, whatever it is you desire to change will
reveal itself to you. It will come in a way where you are given steps to take.
Now I can tell you this when that comes, it is going to come very quietly, it’s not going to be loud and boisterous, it’s going to tell you perhaps you should do this or that.

2. Celebration
21:14 The next thing that I enjoy is celebrations. Celebrate something every single day and that’s
what my blissful living challenge is all about. So many times we can get caught up in everything that’s going on around us. Almost like a vortex we get just sucked into it; but if you’ve ever been around a baby, small babies or under two years old. Up to that age the baby’s just gurgles and giggles and they are just so happy.
I imagine it now.

21:54 They’re blissful. They have no reason not to be. We lose that along the way from boundaries and everything else that comes along. When we lose that we get to recapture and reclaim it because it is our birthright. Babies come in the world with it. We could to reclaim our birthright and no matter what is going on in our environment, we can still choose bliss.

3. 23:05 Vibration Frequency
The more you start to celebrate, the more you lift your vibrations and The more you sing, the more you dance, the less often you will have to shovel;because your vibrational energy is at a point now where it’s attracting to you those things that are good. This level of vibration is higher so you’re going to be attracting love, you’re going to be attracting Joy, you’re going to be attracting bliss.

23:33 Myrna: Yes, I talk about gratitude like that but; I guess it’s the same word be grateful for what you have regardless of what’s lacking. Don’t concentrate on what you don’t have. Concentrate on what you want. So that you can raise your vibrational frequency and attract good things.

25:09 So, yes celebrating having gratitude very important.

4. 25:17 Vision
Another thing is to visualize. To live in a space of visualization to write out what it is you want. When I’m working with my clients, I say to them I desire you get to write out your vision for your life. Where do you want to live?
How does it look? How does it show up?

25:56 Sit down and see yourself in the theater of your mind. On your own stage and you’re the actor and the producer!
Write out your vision for your life.

5. 32:18 Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda
We can spend our entire lives lamenting Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda and that’s all in the past. All in the past, it’s already happened or didn’t happen. Those words have no value to this present moment. They have no value to your future either.
So you should begin to eliminate woulda coulda shoulda from your vocabulary

Please subscribe to this podcast if you appreciate this content so that I can Help others find this on iTunes and Listen on Google Play Music” target=”_blank”>Google Play ” target=”_blank”>Google Play

How to Play to Win with the Cards you are Dealt in Life

Speaker panel – How to Play with the cards you are dealt in life

Listen on Google Play Music

Are you a #meToo survivor? Dealt some bad cards in life? Find out “how to play to win” by tuning in to this podcast to learn How to play with the cards you were dealt in life.
We are live on location at the Main Broward Library in Fort Lauderdale. I will be discussing my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement.
You will also hear from a panel of speakers as we discuss the topic “How to play with the Cards you were dealt in Life.”

I wrote this book with the intention of drawing life lessons from various aspects of my Life.
For example the first life event that I introduced in my book
is as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and being born into poverty.
The life lesson I share here is that

You don’t have to be a victim in life; instead become a player.

Just like in the game of blackjack, if the dealer is
showing a picture card and you only have small cards, you don’t chuck your hand in and say there’s no way that I can win.
All you need is the intention to win and guess what, your hand is going to get better.

Quitters Never Win and Winners Never Quit

On this podcast my panel of speakers are:
Genese Vertus
Coach Dan Willms
And Coach Jenny Wang

Here is a short excerpt from my book:

Out of the Snares

I was born into a family with nothing, my mother and
grandmother were both domestic servants. My dad was in Teachers College and did not know his real father. He lived with his mom and stepfather who was an alcoholic.
In 1959 Guyana was a British colony of England.
Just like England colonized India and took all the wealth out of India, in a similar way England took all of Guyana’s
resources out of the country.
Most of the Blacks and Indians were living in poverty. My mom and grandmother worked for white English folk.
As a child I was always fed and had clothes and shoes to wear.
My mom and grandmother both made our clothes.
So, it was understandable that I would be drawn to my godfather, who was a
wealthy man with several houses, several cars and a corner shop filled with
snacks and chocolate bars. Mr. Clark as I will call him took a liking to me beyond that of a Godfather and treated me like his grandchild.
I spent a lot of time at his house. He took me out with
his family every weekend and really showered me with things.
He gave me food, gold chains and gold bracelets, he was also a goldsmith.
I ended up sleeping over at his house several times per week and playing with his grandchildren. He used to like to bounce me on his knee with his legs massaging my private parts.
One day my memory recalls, I was about five
years old, he braced me up against the wall and caressed my body.
As I got older the touching became more intimate.
He would rub my legs whenever I was close.
His favorite was the feeling me up in the front seat of his car while driving me to school.
His hand would be under my skirt fingering my private parts.
I was sure that people in other cars could see him doing this to me;
but he said they could not.
This continued for several years and then one day he took me
behind his shop and took my virginity with his fingers.
I didn’t tell anyone I’m not sure why. I do remember thinking that I
loved him so much and wanted to die before he did.
Mr. Clark started getting a reputation
for liking little girls and my dad asked
me if Mr. Clark ever touch me, I lied and said he had not.

I’m going to skip a couple of paragraphs, I don’t want to get
into the nitty-gritty details here.
I’m going to read to you now my conclusion of this chapter.

How did I play to win? Looking back, if I were to collapse my consciousness
and become the observer in this experience, I would say that at some
subconscious level I knew what we were doing was wrong.
I’m not sure why I chose to keep it a secret.
Research shows that children never tell, they become ashamed and feel that
they are to blame. I know I have always felt shamed. It took me a very, very, long time to share my story. Writing this book was my way of coming into the light and putting the devil on notice that I will no longer let guilt and shame be a part of my life.

That was my introduction to my book.
Pick up a copy to read the full story.

Out of the Snares

I have played with the sexual abuse card, and poverty by concentrating
on CANI. Constant and Never Ending Improvement.
They say that the secret to happiness is always moving
towards a goal and that is how I played the game.

It is wonderful that we’re meeting today in a library because I have always been a reader.
Reading books is how you play to win!

Tony Robbins is now a billionaire because he made himself read 700 books per year and those books taught him everything he knows.
Pat Riley of the Miami Heat said

“If you’re not growing, you are dying”

The second way I have played to win with the cards I have been dealt was to become conscious of my vibrational frequency.
I learned that later in life before I wrote my first book
“Becoming Conscious, my awakening”
I started understanding my vibrations. You see whenever somebody does
something to us, we feel bad and what happens when we feel bad?
We attract more of the same. We always say bad things comes in three’s, that is because you are attracting them to you.
So when you’re in a funk you have to find some way to make
yourself feel better, and one of the ways I do that is to always live in gratitude.
Because regardless of what’s going on in your life, there’s always something that you can
be grateful for. Breath, sight, food in your fridge, etc.
So, find some gratitude and feel that energy release a positive force that reverses all the bad in your life!

Survivors of sexual violence don’t owe anyone our stories. Here’s why I’m telling mine. #MeToo
Click this link to hear a similar story
http://www.latimes.com/opinion/opinion-la/la-oe-warnke-metoo-sexual-violence-20171016-story.html

Now let’s get on with the show!
My first guest is Genese Vertus

Gene Vertus

Show notes:
16:14 In 2009 at the age of 33 Genese became
CEO and founder of Passion Rescue Mission and reopened the Genecoit Vertus School of Excellence in Francois, Haiti providing tuition free education and serving over 225 students.
17:29 Genese How Have you played with the cards you were dealt in Life?
18:01 Winning has to less with the cards you have in your hand and more to do with how you play the game.

You have to play to win.

18:38 How did I play to win? I was born in one of the poorest countries in the Western Hemisphere, which is Haiti.
20:28 The goal is to win no matter what seven piece of dominoes or cards you have in your hand.
21:56 Kenny Rogers sings a song that says

“You have to know when to Hold and when to Fold”

22:27 Three simple things helped me play with my cards.
1. My faith in God
2. Pursuit of an education
3. A strong support system

30:10 I was fortunate enough to come to this great country to get an education and in
2009 I returned back to Haiti and reopened a school that my father built. We started with 189
students at that time currently we have 225 students getting a
tuition-free education in one of the poorest, mountainous, villages in Haiti,
which is Francois Haiti. We provide meals, we provide school supplies
we provide uniforms and we have 12 teachers that are employed.
I have a waiting list of over 300 students wanting to get into that school right now; so it’s not enough
To win at your game, we must give back. Once you get to where you need to be, you need to
reach back and help your people.
31:16 If you need information on making a donation
Please visit www.passionrescuemission.org Dan Willms

34:39 Introduction of our next guest Coach Dan Willms
Dan Willms is a facilitator for the leadership challenge, a writer and an
international speaker. He’s also the creator of the Positive Change Workshop
and facilitates his workshops in Portuguese, English, and Spanish.
Dan has facilitated more than 145 Positive Change Workshops.

36:49 I believe that even though it is hard to be born poor, it’s not about being born poor
or rich. I’m coming to a conclusion it’s not about the money it’s not about where you
were born it’s what you do with all that.

37:25 I remember the first big tragedy I saw in my life. I was 11 years old. it
was my last day in school. I was ironing a shirt and my father hanged himself in
front of his 11 kids. I was the baby and none of us knew what to do.
So we just watched the body for over an hour until the paramedics came.
But I think even more devastating that watching my father hang himself was the feeling I had as a child
that other people were more special than me.
I would look at the other families where there wasn’t alcohol abuse, there was no
Drugs, there was no fighting, and I would think wow, why are they more special
than I am in the eyes of God.

39:03 I grew up feeling inferior, wondering do black people when they are
kids they look at white people and think wow why are they more special than I am?

39:36 Then I got to thinking, do Gay people wonder why Straight people are more special than they are?
39:53 because I was poor, because we did not have a lot of food, because my father was
an alcoholic, my brothers were drug addicts then I would look at my
neighbors and think why are they more special than I am.

40:39 Now I teach happiness. I teach positive psychology and I teach the
Science of Happiness. I have helped thousands of people to change their
Lives. Thousands of couples who come to me, some can’t they can’t even look
at each other. Parents who cannot have a conversation with their kids. Kids who
cannot stand their parents, but somehow they have to live under the same roof,
so they come to me asking for help.

41:10 I learned from my mom that you will not go far in life if you
don’t make peace with your past. It doesn’t matter where you came from,
if you’re Black, White, Gay or Straight, if you’re bisexual, you have to make
peace with your past.

44:33 I was doing missionary work and was a model missionary. I
found out I was also Gay, but since I be couldn’t be Gay and be a missionary, I had to
pick one and I wasn’t quite sure which one. I chose to be Gay and be myself.
I mean for God’s sakes, God is my father he made me just like this.
And I go around thinking I am broken. How many times we think we are sick we think we are
Disgusting, we think we are not good enough for anyone or anybody. That’s how
I felt most of my life. it is horrible when you look in the mirror and you feel very sick.
You think you’re going to burn in hell.

46:14 You are not building for today you are building for tomorrow. You are building with the tools and resources
you’ve got in the past, so if you don’t make peace with your past, it’s not going to work.

Jenny Wang

51:12 Jenny Wang Introduction
51:15 Jenny is passionate about helping people improve
Performance through holistic learning. She is a Professional Certified Coach and a
Senior Learning and Program Manager at Nutranext, which is the healthiest employer in the US.
Jenny is also a Certified Health Coach and co-author of Bringing Mindfulness to Your
Workplace. Jenny and I worked together at Office Depot. She was my mentor at
Toastmasters, then she became my Coachee as she worked on finding her purpose. I’m
Sure she has found her purpose. Let’s give a warm welcome to Ms Jenny Wang

52:22 I have had some good cards. But there are some cards we cannot choose.
We cannot chose our Father we cannot choose our Mother or our relatives.
I was born and raised in China in a very traditional family. I don’t have trauma
in my life, my parents are very lovely and educated; but there’s one thing that
we never agreed on. When I got married I never thought I wanted children.
I don’t know how many of you are natural parents; but I was not one of them.
When I was at 34 years old my father called me from China had a big
argument with me. He wanted to have a grandchild.
So, How did I play to win? I chose to honor my father’s request because family is important to me.
Now eight years later, people ask me what was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life?
And I say “To have a child”
My son has brought me so much joy, so much wonderful
things to my life that I have never ever thought that I would have.

The second card everyone has, but they also cannot chose is
Passion and purpose.

The 3rd card we are dealt is a Health.
The most important thing for everybody is good health. I decided to take
the journey of being a Yoga Instructor and a Health Coach.

59:01 I learned we can become happy by changing how we move our bodies.
Yoga encourages us to think about our health.
No matter how busy you are, no matter how much outside achievement you have,
by the end of the day you have to take time for yourself.

I hope you enjoyed this presentation both audio and written. Now I need something from you.
Support Passion Rescue Mission by making a donation.
Subscribe to this podcast and leave a review. And don’t forget about sharing this podcast. I am sure you know at least one person who could benefit from the information shared here today.

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9 Steps to Effective Advocacy

Common Cause

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Can Advocacy build successful bridges? It sure can. My guest today shares 9 Steps to Effective Advocacy.
Latisha Atkins is the founder of Building Bridges to Success, Inc.

Show notes:
Tell me about yourself. How did you create your company Building Bridges to Success and become an Advocate?
1. What is Advocacy?: What it is and why it is important?
2. What are some of the ways people can get involved locally and nationally with Advocacy.
3. What are some pointers you can give our audience on how to advocate.
4. How do people and communities move from problem-solving in their personal lives to advocacy?
5. What are some barriers to getting involved with advocacy?
6. How does BRIDGES advocate for your community?
7. What are some examples of advocacy?
8. Is there a difference between advocacy and lobbying?
9. How can BRIDGES help others become advocates for their communities?
10. Does advocacy lead to real change?
11. Can anyone be an advocate?

9 Steps to Effective Advocacy

Check out more on Adcocacy and How it can build bridges to success @ Bridges2yoursuccess.com

As America and the world fight for gun control. Advocacy will be the tool used to change those laws.
Here is an article about Advocacy Groups Call For Firearm Rights In Britain Following Several Terror Attacks

FOLLOWING NUMEROUS DEADLY TERROR ATTACKS THIS YEAR, PRO-GUN GROUPS IN BRITAIN ARE INCREASINGLY CALLING FOR CITIZENS TO RECEIVE THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS.
An initiative called Carry Now is growing in England and demanding that the government “allow law-abiding, reliable and trained citizens to carry CCW for self-defence in Europe.”

The initiative is backed by Firearms United, a group in Europe advocating for similar pro-gun initiatives all across the continent.

“These tragedies may have been the eye opener to just how ineffective our laws are,” Firearms-UK representative Dave Ewing reportedly told Voactive following last Saturday’s terror attack in London.

Common Cause is an organization in Washington, DC that is leading the Advocacy charge to modernize elections, making them more fair, secure, and accessible with automatic voter registration laws and same-day registration at polling places on Election Day. We are ensuring security and fairness at the ballot box by demanding paper back-ups and post-election risk-limiting audits to detect foul play early.

Please subscribe to this podcast and leave a review if you find this content helpful.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/transform-your-mind-coach/id1144973094?mt=2

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Rank #1 Transform You Mind Podcast

How to Heal your Body Holistically

How to Heal your Body Holistically

In today’s episode of the Transform your Mind with coach Myrna, I interview Ms Taeneka Brooks, founder of Hands of Sage Inc
Taeneka will teach us How to Heal your body Holistically with the use of special blends of teas.

Taeneka always wanted to help people and when her son was diagnosed with Asthma, she decided she wanted to learn how to heal him holistically instead of using prescription drugs. With her holistic approach, her son is now cured of asthma.

Hands of Sage most popular product is called the Sage Moon Box:
The Sage moon Box is the holistic approach of healing women both mentally and physically on their monthly menstrual cycle.
It includes:
Organic natural bathsalts
Sage Moon Tea to boosted fertility
Tampons/pads
Wipes
Tea Infuser

Her holistic teas also help with bloating or cramps

Her detox teas help cleanse the full body, increase metabolism and burn fat
Some of her teas cleanse all the way down to the cellular level.

Taeneka also educates her clients on how to live Holistically
Check out Taeneka on her web site www.handsofsage.bigcartel.com

Holistic healing can also be used for any of the other women problems.
Here is an article on how someone used Holistic Healing to help with uterine fibrods

Holistic Healing

http://www.xonecole.com/no-surgery-no-drugs-healed-uterine-fibroids-holistic-way/

My 7-Step Holistic Regimen

1. Drastically limit your consumption of simple carbohydrates, refined sugar, and processed foods.
2. Incorporate organic foods as much as possible. Food packed with hormones, specifically meat, feed the fibroid.
3. Juice beets, spinach, kale, ginger, and turmeric daily to detox the liver.
Also add fresh turmeric to your juice and tea.
Likewise, you can take 3 or more turmeric capsule 3x daily.
This will decrease inflammation and stop excessive bleeding and pain. I add raw turmeric to my dandelion root tea every day.
4. Take an active dose of systemic enzymes 3x daily. My dosage consists of 12 pills daily (6 in the morning and 6 at night). This has aided tremendously in dissolving my fibroids.
5. Exercise a minimum of 30 mins daily four to five times a week.
6. Avoid consuming anything packaged in plastic. Bottled water is the major culprit of estrogen imbalance.

THE MOST EFFECTIVE TREATMENT: Do castor oil packs every other day. I use Jamaican black castor oil by Island Tropic. Click here for more information on what castor oil can do for your fibroids.

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The Alchemy of Desire Episode 5- The long term relationship dance

The relationship dance

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Today on Mindset Transformation Radio and podcast, we are continuing with our series on the The Alchemy of Desire Episode 5- The Long Term Relationship Dance.

My co -host for this series is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste Intimacy Coach and, I am a Mindset Coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “The Alchemy of Desire and Intimacy”

What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.

We all Desire to be in loving fulfilling relationships with our Partners, our children, our friends and co-workers. We desire to have successful careers, some of us desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy, and today we are going to touch on the desire for flow in our relationships and not ebb.

This is Intimacy

The Dance of Intimacy
Anyone in a long-term relationship knows the relationship dance well. It took me a while to understand this dance. I walked out of my first marriage at age 21 declaring boldly “I am no longer in love with my husband and I refuse to live in a loveless marriage at age 21.” After 4 marriages I now know that relationships EBB and FLOW. Erotic love turns into Agape love. Passion and desire EBB and FLOW.

In all my relationships fighting and then having make up sex was usually the shock than rejuvenated the relationship.

In the beginning of anything there is more energy just as electrify is more powerful at the source, feelings are more powerful when they are new.

As feelings change and familiarity sets in, the intimacy dance begins. Just as you have to practice the waltz on the dance floor, in a similar way you must practice your dance in the bedroom.

It is important to understand why you and your partner connected in the first place and why you disconnected.

Since all relationships begin within, the scenery out there is the scenery in here.

You can’t give away what you don’t have. So the first step when you become aware of the EBB in your relationship is to take an inventory of the self. Meditation can help.

In our first episode I introduced the book “The Alchemy of Desire.” In this book the lovers were passionate and couldn’t keep their hands off each other, then life happened and intimacy veined.

Every relationship faces this junction. Once relationships become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again. To the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy but; if a long-term relationship is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity, attention, and nurturance of earlier times, is essential.

In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and sunlight if they are to thrive.

We water our relationships by showing interest in our partners. We shine light on our relationships by smiling and being genuinely happy to see our partners.

I was at a stand-up comedy show with >Mike Epps a few years back and he made a joke about how his wife would meet him at the door with a beer and loving embrace when they were first married, and now she shrugs and says oh it’s you!

I am genuinely happy to see my husband walk through the door and when he calls me during the day. I let him know this

The marriage dance relationship
Show Notes:

Question 1: Margo what is your take on the relationship dance? Personally you have mentioned several times that your relationships end after 10 years. What does the dance look like to you?

Question 2: Looking back can you see the point when the relationship ebb resulted in a break? How can anyone listening turn that ebb into a flow?

Question 3: What are some tips to keep Desire flowing instead of ebbing?

Question 4: If our listeners find themselves in an Ebb should they panic or understand that is the flow of life that what goes up must come down.

How to play with the cards you are dealt in life

Have you been dealt some bad cards in life?
Then I invite you to an afternoon of learning and inspiration on “How to deal with the cards you have been dealt in Life”
This event will be at the Main Broward Library at 100 South Andrews Ave , 6 th floor, Fort Lauderdale, FL
on Saturday May 12 from 2.00 to 4.30 pm
Come out and be a part of our studio audience.
The first 5 guests will get a FREE autographed copy of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
This is a book signing and a live talk radio show airing locally on WDJY 99.1 FM Metro Atlanta
If you need more information, email me at info@myhelps.us