The Power of Forgiveness: A Lifelong Journey

power of forgiveness

Join host Myrna Young as she interviews author Carol M. Williams on the power of forgiveness. In this episode of “Author's Corner,” Carol discusses her book, “Forgiveness as a Lifelong Journey,” which offers a nine-step program for practicing forgiveness. Carol shares her personal story of forgiveness and provides practical advice on how to let go of anger, release resentment, and embrace empathy. Discover the transformative power of forgiveness and learn how it can change your life one step at a time. Don't miss this heartfelt conversation on the importance of forgiveness.

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Uncovering the Hurt: Identifying and Accepting

In her book Forgiveness as a Lifelong Journey, author Carol M. Williams explores the transformative, power of forgiveness. She emphasizes that forgiveness is not just a feeling, but a deliberate choice that can lead to profound personal growth and mental health improvement. Williams highlights the importance to forgive in our relationships with God, ourselves, and others.

The first step is practicing, forgiveness meditation, to identify the hurt. Williams suggests conducting a self-assessment to understand how the hurt is affecting us on a daily basis. By acknowledging the pain and its impact, we can begin to accept our past and the circumstances that led to the hurt. This acceptance is crucial because we cannot change what has happened, but we can choose how we respond to it.

Healing the Heart: Releasing Resentment and Embracing Forgiveness

Once we have identified the hurt, the next step is to release resentment. Williams acknowledges that this is often the most difficult part of the process. Many people hold onto anger, hurt, and bitterness for years, which only perpetuates their suffering. To release these negative emotions, Williams suggests practicing self-compassion and mindfulness.

Self-compassion involves forgiving ourselves and letting go of self-blame. It is important to recognize that we are not perfect and that we make mistakes. By practicing self-compassion, we can begin to heal our hearts and move towards our, forgiveness journey.

In addition to self-compassion, Williams emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding. By putting ourselves in the shoes of the person who hurt us, we can begin to see their perspective and find compassion for them. This does not mean excusing their actions, but rather acknowledging that they may have been going through their own struggles or difficulties. By embracing empathy, we can start to let go of the resentment and anger that holds us back from unforgiveness.

Book Forgivenes is a Lifelong journey
Book Forgivenes is a Lifelong journey

Embracing Forgiveness: Restoring Self-Worth and Crafting a New Narrative

The final stage of the, forgiveness journey, is embracing truth. Williams outlines a nine-step program that guides individuals through this process. One of the key steps is restoring self-worth. When someone has hurt us deeply, it is common to question our own worth and blame ourselves for the pain we have experienced. By working on restoring self-worth, we can begin to appreciate the positive aspects of ourselves and recognize that we deserve healing.

Another important step in the process is crafting a new narrative. This involves creating a new, positive story around our experiences. Instead of dwelling on the hurt and pain, we can focus on moving forward and creating a better future for ourselves. By reframing our experiences in a positive light, we can find healing and freedom.

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Transform Your Mind Podnews

Conclusion

In conclusion, this is a lifelong journey that requires deliberate choice, self-compassion, and empathy. It is not an easy process, but it has the power to transform our lives and improve our overall well-being. By identifying and accepting the hurt, releasing resentment, embracing empathy, restoring self-worth, and crafting a new narrative, we can embark on a path of emotional freedom.

If you are struggling with unforgiveness, remember that help is available. Carol M. Williams offers a comprehensive, forgiveness coaching program, and has written a heartfelt guide in her book Forgiveness as a Lifelong Journey. Through her work, she empowers individuals to release the weight of the past, embrace a future filled with love and understanding, and change their lives one forgiveness step at a time.

To connect with Carol M. Williams and learn more about her, forgiveness coaching program, and book, you can visit her website at www.yournewstoryLLC.com or find her on social media on Facebook as Carol M. Williams and on Instagram as Forgiveness Coach Carol. Her book is available in Kindle, paperback, and hard copy formats on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Remember, forgiveness is not just about the other person; it is about finding peace within ourselves. By practicing this, we can release the negative feelings that hold us back and create a brighter future filled with love, understanding, and emotional freedom.

Additional Resources

Building Relationships With Relational Mindfulness

Surviving My Mothers Abandonment and Abuse

mother abandonment

Author Traci Thomas offers, reflection on her abandonment by her mother in her book, Reflection 4 Rejection. Traci answers the question how does rejection by a natural mother affect the child's self worth and self esteem for the rest of their life.

In her book  “Reflection 4 Rejection ” —Surviving A Mother's Abandonment And Abuse.” Traci Thomas shares her story and how she got to the other side.

Here is Traci's story:

On, reflection, I feel that, rejection, by your natural mother, it's such a unique, unusual, weird, inhumane space to be.   It nonetheless served such a  great purpose in my life, and what I mean by that is the following.  It's one of those preambles whereas once you have survived this type of, rejection, you pretty much can walk on water, and I mean that literally and figuratively.  It's one of those scenarios and situations very few people ever experience or understand.  When you suffer from, abandonment, you're in your own community and it's isolating; but yet you're so powerful at the same time.

With that being said once you overcome this, abandonment,  and it is a challenge, it's a lot to muddle through.  However, once you get through it, and you're on the other side, there's nothing you can't do.  So in my situation, it's like a head of bipartisan.  I had two scenarios, two lives coexisting at one time.  I had a father who had full custody of me at three years old.  That's when my natural, mother, and my dad were divorced back in 1968.  I was born in 1965, that was unheard of within the United States.  Very few fathers gained custody of their children or their child, so that in itself is a profound statement.  That also shows you how little fight my natural, mother, put up to keep me.

I do remember one particular time my, mother,  did quote, unquote kidnap me.  She did take me when I got off the school bus when I was in kindergarten, and she took me to Philadelphia and thank God my father and the FBI came and rescued me. But even when she's so-called put forth some effort, to show that she wanted me, it was still a situation where I was locked up in a room, there were German Shepherds downstairs and the FBI had to come and get me.  She never really exemplified that she wanted me; but that's okay and that's what I explained in the book.  It's perfectly okay, because I define what, abandonment, is.  It's a supernatural definition.  I actually give you, hind sights, definitions, elaborations and explanations as to what's going on.  What's happening, why your natural, mother, abandoned, you.  It took me 50 years to figure it out, which is sad, but at least I figured it out.

 

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TuneIn Radio

What does Abandonment Issues Mean?

Wikipedia says that, abandonment issues, causes Abandoned child Syndrome.

  • Abandoned child syndrome is a proposed behavioral or psychological condition that results primarily from the loss of one or both parents or sexual abuse.
  • Abandonment issues, may stem from  physical (the parent is not present in the child's life) or emotional (the parent withholds affection, nurturing, or stimulation). The abandoned child syndrome is not recognized as a mental illness.
  • Mothers, who leave their children, or when a parent is alienated from their children by the other parent (after a bitter divorce, DCHS, or foster care), can cause psychological damage to the child. This damage is reversible, but only with appropriate assistance.  Abandoned children may also often suffer physical damage from, rejection, malnutrition, starvation, and abuse.

I want to comment on something you said that's a little different from my normal association with, abandonment, you said it took you about 50 years to get to the other side and it was very isolating; but once you got to the other side you felt like you could walk on water.  Which is a very positive spin on, abandonment, because if you were to take a survey of the, child abandonment, community you will find that most kids end up having a lot of self-esteem issues, they don't think they're good enough.

When you feel, abandoned, it's not your imagination.  When you make every effort imaginable to connect or contact your natural mother and every single attempt, every single effort, every single expendable energy that you put forth, the end result is just this repellent. It's this, rejection, of your natural, mother, not wanting you or your natural, mother, treating you as if you're a bill collector. Your natural, mother, is literally tolerating you and can't wait to get you off the phone.  When you're in a scenario like that again and again, it’s so bizarre.

Podcast interview Questions: Reflection, 4, Rejection

What was your Objective in writing “Reflection 4 Rejection ” —Surviving A Mother's , Abandonment, And Abuse.?

On, reflection, once you've been in a situation where you've made every effort and did somersaults, headstands, back-flips,  anything you can think of to connect with your natural mother, and every single attempt is unproductive and counterproductive.  It's toxic, and it's unhealthy, because of the way that you feel afterwards.  You literally feel as if you've been punched in the stomach with every single attempt to get the love of your, mother.

You're in tears and you're shaking, and you have anxiety, and then you go through life thinking that you've got to kiss every behind in the universe.  You have this feeling of inadequacy this feeling of I'm not good enough, there's something wrong with me. That's why I wrote the book, because I do not want another human being going through five decades of what I went through. That's why I engineered and composed the book.

My objective in writing the book, is for someone to have an open mind and instead of going through life telling themselves, my own, mother, didn't want me. Even though that is true, instead they can tell themselves that they have every right and privilege to not want her either.

Power is something you take, nobody gives you power.  You snatch power.

So what I wish to do with this work, with this writing,  is to allow an individual to look at being, abandoned,  in hindsight. Let's  really look at it and put an autopsy and microscope on, abandonment, for a second.  If you really do this it's not hard at all, you won't have to go through all these dog and pony shows and tail spins.   Kissing this one's tail, and doing back flips for this person, and making your, mother,  love you, trying to buy this person,  begging for love, please love me, please like me.  You don't have to go through all of those mental gymnastics. It's not necessary. I'm trying to save somebody 50 years.

Abandonment, from Relationships

Can this scenario be also transferred to people who are, rejected,  period?  I mean because, rejection, and being, abandoned,  are not only synonymous with, mothers, or parents.  Men can reject you, your friends can reject you,  jobs can fire you.  Is this information transferable?

I placed a laser focus on this particular relationship between a  child and a natural, mother.  This ironically is not, rejection,  and if you read the book you'll totally comprehend what I'm speaking about.  The natural, mother, is not rejecting you, the natural, mother, is rejecting the reminder of neglecting you.  The natural, mother, doesn't even know you.  How can somebody reject you when they don't even know you?  That makes absolutely no sense.

I've seen that the trauma that it is caused in young  lives and almost every aspect of being , abandoned, or, rejection. So it's kind of good to tell yourself that your natural, mother, didn't reject you because she doesn’t know you.  If you actually do believe that I can understand that it is easier to get to the other side.  That's good, I like that spin.

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What is the main message of your book Reflection for Rejection?

I wrote the book to give some insight to, child abandonment.

What message would you give to that listener of why they should go out and buy the book?

It would be in their best interest even if they don't get the book, if they just listened to the podcast, because it summarizes the book.  It's their prerogative if they wish to purchase it or not.  I mean that's their choice; but with that being said.

Don't ever allow another person, place or thing to define your self-worth.  Don't do that. Don't ever give someone that opportunity or luxury.

I know you talked about your natural mother not  really rejecting you because she didn't know you; but did you touch on psychologically what was happening to her for her to have that unnatural response to her biological daughter?

My father, God bless his soul, was extremely intimidating.  He was a very wealthy, powerful, articulate, worldly man. He traveled a lot because he was a computer programmer, so he was extremely I guess very controlling.  So I give my, mother, an inkling of understanding, because he was pretty much a womanizer.

I'm not giving her a full 24-hour pass, but I am giving her an hour pass.  I can't really give her a full 24-hour pass, because there are, mothers,  who have gone through the same episode and they didn't react that way.

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Abuse and Abandonment

  • One of the things that I noticed talking with you Traci is that I see no evidence of PTSD from being, abandoned, by your, mother. Post traumatic stress disorder in teenage girls, usually develops for girls who have been sexually abused, neglected, or abandoned. You said that every time you tried it to communicate with your mom, or tried to make her love you, or tried to form a relationship; you felt like you got punched in the stomach.  At those times were you ever angry?

What's so interesting is that I got angry at the end.  Like right in the last year. My book goes in chronological order. In the book, I actually highlight the events that have occurred during the last five decades, and what's so flabbergasting to me is  that I didn't get angry and livid until the very end.  I wasn't angry at her, I was angry at me for participating.  I was so livid at myself for wasting so much time, that it took me decades to come down from the humiliation, the frustration,  the hurt, the pain, the disappointment,  the monotony, and the redundancy.

Getting to the other side, puts you in a disposition where you're at total complete peace. I call it a, mother, transplant because once you realize why she acts the way she does, once that clicks in your brain, a light bulb goes off and you're free.

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How did you handle Rejection and Reflection?

When you read the book  you'll completely understand what's going on and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Your, mother, didn't reject you, she can't reject you because she doesn't know you.

Yes, I understand what you're saying.  After you become immune to the, rejection, and you get on the other side of, abandonment, when you get to the other side,  you feel empowered like you can walk on water.  Nobody else has the capability of hurting you.

Childhood trauma and, abandonment, affects children  in many ways.

Childhood trauma, #1
1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there’s also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder,
spending or gambling, workaholics etc. There’s 11 addictive behaviors.

Childhood trauma, #2

2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and
yelling at each other? The typical is yelling screaming but
this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like
“you’ll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.

Childhood trauma, #3

3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for
long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let’s say they
came home from school at 3 o’clock and mom if they’re in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours. There’s anxiety around that.
So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we’re out trying to support our
kids there home alone.

Childhood trauma, #4

4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – The rape or Molestation could have happened
in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than
the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools
we’re supposed to teach our child another way. If you’re beating them or hitting them you’re teaching them to be violent back. We don’t want to do that.

Childhood trauma, #5

5. Abandonment – There’s two types, childhood trauma from, abandonment. Fault and No Fault, abandonment.
Here are three examples of no-fault, abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24

Here is an example of “Fault”, abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home
and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new
girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.

Childhood trauma, #6

6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to
live with relatives because mom or dad couldn’t take care of you, that even
includes Grandma’s, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn’t
want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was
always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn’t want to go home.

Childhood trauma, #7

7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not
fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky.
Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.

http://blog.myhelps.us/confidence/

Childhood trauma, #8

8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a
medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time.
Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you
perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful
or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I’m
worthwhile too.

Childhood trauma, #9

9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved
a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years.
Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that’s all
family trauma and community trauma.
Today we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass
Shootings.

http://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/

Childhood trauma, #10

10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities.
We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma.
Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they
act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or
the repercussions.
Two examples of sociopaths are Steve Jobs and Tiger woods.

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Additional Resources 

Uninvolved parenting, sometimes referred to as neglectful parenting, is a style characterized by a lack of responsiveness to a child's needs. Uninvolved parents make few to no demands of their children and they are often indifferent, dismissive, or even completely neglectful.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-uninvolved-parenting-2794958

Child abuse happens when a parent or care giver of a minor child allows, inflicts or permits physical or sexual abuse or allows a situation where there is a risk of physical injury. Child neglect means a minor child lacks adequate care and is danger of physical or psychological harm.

https://www.divorcesource.com/ds/children/abuse-and-neglect-to-children-in-a-divorce-261.shtml

How to Find your Passion in Life

Finding your passion in life

Have you found your, passion? Passion, is that burning desire that God placed in your belly at birth.  It is also called your burning bush.

In this episode I reference the Final chapter of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of Hope and Encouragement”

I call this chapter “God's consuming fire your , passion.

In this chapter of my book  “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” I tell the stories of Walt Disney, Sylvester Stallone, and J.K Rowling. These are 3 examples of ordinary people who accomplished extraordinary things because they were able to convert their passion, the fire in their belly, into its monetary equivalent. Their passion was like a “burning bush” deep within their souls and they were driven to consummate this burning desire.

Free Download: Out of the Snares, How to Heal your Brokenness
Out of the Snares

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”

— Field Marshal Ferdinand Foch

What is Passion

Passion it is that thing that you were created to do. The thing that makes you feel good when you are doing it, like you transcended your body and entered the heavens. The thing that you would do all day for free.

What was Kobe Bryant burning bush? His Passion

Kobe Bryant was born with a purpose, he got the genes and the physical attributes to be a basketball player but;  he had to engage his, passion. 

Purpose  is what you were placed on the earth to do, it is  your contribution to mankind. The first way to uncover your, passion, is to find out what holds your interest and what you love doing.  God gave you your gift of purpose, and you're not always passionate about your purpose; but if you can marry it to your, passion, it’s like pouring gasoline on the fire. You have to feed your, passion. That’s what  Kobe Bryant did and that is why he is a Legend. No one out worked him, he wanted to be the best and win championships. 

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One of the self-evaluation questions I ask my new coaching clients is “If you were the Power-ball winner of $500,000,000. What would you do with your time?” You see, when you take away the need to earn money, then your head becomes clear as to what your passion really is.

In my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” I tell the stories of Walt Disney, Sylvester Stallone, and J.K Rowling. These are 3 examples of ordinary people who accomplished extraordinary things because they were able to convert their passion, the fire in their belly, into its monetary equivalent. Their passion was like a “burning bush” deep within their souls and they were driven to consummate this burning desire.

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For Walt Disney it was drawing and Art. Walt started drawing as an ambulance driver in the army. Then he became a commercial artist.  After being let go from his company, he decided to start his own graphics company. His company failed from bad management. Walt had a string of failures that included bankruptcy before he found success.  He married Art with imagination and created the happiest place on earth. His passion for drawing birth an empire that has gross revenues today in the billions of dollars.

Walt Disney World is now visited by over 5 million families every year, Annual cash flow from Disney’s consortium of products and films are in excess of 21 billion dollars.  It includes 535 Disney stores, a cable television station, amusement parks in Orlando, California, Paris and more. All because he would not let the fire in his belly die.

So what would you do for free?

How did Sylvester Stallone Find his, Passion?

Sylvester Stallone was born disabled. He suffered injury at birth that left one side of his mouth deformed and caused him to speak funny. Sylvester's passion was born from being hungry. Like Les Brown would say “You got to be Hungry” Sylvester was broke and hungry. He was walking the street one day, cold and hungry and he decided to go into a library to stay warm. Laying on the table was a book about a fighter who overcame odds to win.

That inspired Sylvester Stallone to go write the Rocky story. He wrote that story in one sitting. He did not stop for 20 hours. That inspiration was the gasoline that lit the fire that God put inside him. Again he married passion with imagination and wrote a story that resonated with each and every one of us. The story of Rocky. It made him a millionaire many times over.

“When you set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn.”

— John Wesley

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https://thelogicalindian.com/story-feed/get-inspired/inspirational-success-story-of-sylvester-stallone-rags-to-riches/

Back in the day, Stallone was a struggling actor in every definition. At some point, he got so broke that he stole his wife’s jewelry and sold it. Things got so bad that he even ended up homeless. Yes, he slept at the New York bus station for 3 days. Unable to pay rent or afford food. His lowest point came when he tried to sell his dog at the liquor store to a stranger. He didn’t have money to feed the dog anymore. He sold his dog for $25. He says he walked away crying.

Two weeks later, he saw a boxing match between Mohammed Ali and Chuck Wepner and that match gave him the inspiration to write the script for the famous movie, ROCKY. He wrote the script in 20 hours! He tried to sell it and got an offer for $125,000 for the script. But he had just ONE REQUEST. He wanted to STAR in the movie. He wanted to be the MAIN ACTOR, Rocky himself. But the studio said NO. They wanted a REAL STAR.

They said he “Looked funny and talked funny”. He left with his script. A few weeks later, the studio offered him $250,000 for the script. He refused. They even offered $350,000. He still refused. They wanted his movie, but NOT him. He said NO. He was not selling out, if they did not cast him, they couldn’t buy his script. It worked.  They wanted the script so badly, that they cast his as Rocky and history was made.

What is exactly the, Meaning of, Passion 

Passion,  is that which deeply stirs us or a developmental perspective, so it's like the essence of our commitment.  Passion is the thing that drives us. You might hear older individuals say they “lost their will to live,” that means they lost their passion, their fuel.   Just like a child requires love to grow, we require passion to continue to grow inside. 

When we selectively share our, passion,  we engage the universe to manifest our, passion. 

It’s like putting gasoline on your fire when you engaged your, passion.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

How did J.K Rowling Find Her, Passion?

J.K Rowling was a single parent, a divorcee and out of work. On a train ride from Manchester to London she got the inspiration to create the Harry Potter story. But she was already a published author. Writing her first book at 6 years old and another at 11 years old. She became an English teacher because her passion was writing. Ms Rowling says

Failure stirs the fire in your belly to do something about your passion.

In 2015  J.K. Rowling's 2008 Harvard commencement speech was published under the title ‘Very Good Lives: The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination'

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

My, passion, is learning, building and imparting. As a Life coach, author and motivational speaker, I am constantly learning, building and imparting into the lives of others.   I could do it all day and I do it for free.

Find your, passion!

“There is no greater thing you can do with your life and your work than follow your passions – in a way that serves the world and you.” Richard Branson

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How to find your Passion in life

What I encourage people to do is to focus on the positive at all times.  If they remove the negative, those emotional vampires, they will let the light in. Once you move away or walk away or even run away from negativity, you can begin to find your,  passion in life. Be passionate about whatever you desire, it doesn't matter what it is, be passionate about it by surrounding yourself with those people who are similar in Life or those people who have already done it. 

I remember people talking about Diana Ross, one of my favorite people. They were so upset with her for continually surrounding herself around for White people, and she told them she surrounds herself with anyone regardless of color who is going in the same direction as she or where she wants to go. 

The common complaint among a lot of people is that they need to, ‘find their passion.’

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Fears, Anxieties, Phobias, PTSD, Body health, Mind Health, Spiritual Health are just some of the things Hypnosis works for. Hypnosis-Everywhere is a show about our minds and the miracles we can achieve for ourselves and each other

webpage https://hypnosis.simpsonprotocol.com/hypnosis-on-the-radio

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio
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Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now: find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose.

The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walkthrough of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan of going after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.

Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. ..That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

Additional Resources How to Find Your Passion

http://blog.myhelps.us/8-find-your-passion-it-is-your-burning-bush/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-win-at-the-game-of-life/

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-passion-and-desire

https://www.forbes.com/sites/timothyjmcclimon/2018/11/12/purpose-vs-passion-in-leadership-which-do-you-need-most/

5 Differences Between Finding Your Passion and Finding Your Purpose

Keep Your Vision in Front of You

Keep Your, Vision,  in Front of you – Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.

In OUT OF THE SNARES, MYRNA BERNADETTE TROTMAN shares her story of child abuse, poverty and her success as an entrepreneur. As a certified, Life Coach, she shares ten undeniable resources she used to help her achieve success and live the American Dream. This inspirational and motivational book will help you to reach your potential and achieve new levels of success in your life. Get these ten principles based on biblical principles and Universal Laws, deep down in your spirit and boldly go in the direction of your destiny:

Principle # 1. Keep Your Vision in Front of you

Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.

Like a Blacksmith, you need to keep hitting the Anvil, pounding it daily, shaping your dreams

If you build it they will come

Don't let life's challenges knock you off course remember:

“Circumstances does not make the man, it reveals him to himself” ~ James Allen

Man is the Lord and Master of his thoughts and thus is the maker of himself.

In my book “Out of the Snares” I tell a compelling story of my, vision, of America as my promised land. My Land of milk and honey. I kept that, vision, in front of me and kept picking myself up after each failure believing that I would succeed, and I did.

https://myhelps.us/out-of-the-snares/

A few weeks ago I was talking to a young leader, trying to upgrade his, vision casting, skills. I gave him four simple tips about communicating, vision.

1. CLARITY. Leaders, must create clarity by narrowing the focus when casting, vision. Everything that can be done in the name of God is not sign at all. It is a sign of undisciplined thinking. The leader’s job is to focus the organization on the core essentials. The more we focus on and clarify essentials, the easier it is to identify and eliminate non-essentials.

2. COMPELLING. Once your goals are clarified, it must be communicated in a way that is compelling. A, leader, who makes an unprepared sloppy presentation can make an otherwise exciting goals seem boring. Compelling, goals, produces action. Boring goals produces nothing.

3. COMMITMENT. Casting a clear and compelling, vision, without calling for commitment is a waste of everyone’s time. Real, leaders, are committed and they call others to commitment. Some leaders are hesitant to demand sacrificial commitment because they are not all-in themselves. Commitment is an example that leaders set, not a message they teach. Leadership commitment is contagious. So is leadership non-commitment.

4. COMMUNITY. Clear and compelling goals attracts committed people. As these people sacrifice for the common, community happens. Trying to create community for the sake of community creates unhealthy ingrown short-lived community. Doing goals together creates strong healthy long-term community.

SUMMARY. As a leader, you are the visionary for your church, ministry, or organization. If you communicate clear and compelling, if you model and call for commitment, you will end up with a strong healthy community. You will also accomplish your dreams.

Additional Resources:

http://blog.myhelps.us/vision-fails-5-things-can-failure/

http://blog.myhelps.us/ten-characteristics-of-an-entrepreneur-leader/

https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/resumes-cover-letters/leadership-skills

 

Are You Trapped By Your Past?

As a Certified a, Life Coach, I know that we can become, trapped, by past hurt. I am trained to help my clients look back at their, past, and find clues for their future. It is not that the, past, equals the future; but that it gives you an indication of how you respond to hurts and disappointments. For example: Do you tackle them head on and fight like Rocky Balboa, or do you fold up like an umbrella like your best girlfriend and let circumstances anchor you in life?

Out of the Snares, trapped by your past
Out of the Snares, trapped by your past

In Chapter 2 of my book “Out Of The Snares” I share with my readers how I responded to a significant childhood hurt, child abuse. I used the analogy of a train traveling to a predetermined destination and hit something along the way and become derailed. That train can no longer continue on to that destination. Once derailed it is finished and we become, trapped.

I made the choice not to let the circumstances of my childhood, derail me. I choose to release, past, hurt. Instead, I chose to look at the positives that came out of that experience and allowed the lessons learned to shape me into the person I am today.
We all have a story, the successful people in life, succeed in spite of their story. I share secrets on how to use your story as the launching pad to fire you up. I teach you how to not become, trapped.

I show how the people that God placed in your life as a child, are there to teach you something. Just as in the story of Moses being raised by the Pharaoh's daughter until he was ready for God to use him to fulfill his purpose, all the people in your life and your, past, have strategic purposes.

How to Heal, Past, hurts

We all have a mother or mother figure who helped shape us into the women we are today – whether that person is a biological mother who gave birth to us, or a mother figure such as an older sister, aunt, stepmother, grandmother, or teacher. However, the reality is that no matter who you called “mother,” this woman held power over your development throughout your life, and she may not have been the mother you needed. Whether through intentional malice, physical or emotional abuse, or unintentionally through absence or other life circumstances, you may find yourself wounded by her actions — or lack of action. This, past, hurt, influences who you become and how you live, either, trapped, or free.  Releasing, past, hurts stops the harmful impacts that can ripple through your relationships with a partner, children, and within yourself. It stops you from becoming, trapped, by these memories.

The take away from this chapter is that we all have a, past. Some more daunting than others, but under every cloud there is a silver lining. Success in life depends on how you chose to respond to the rain.

Remember that the same rain that causes the flood is the same rain that is responsible for the harvest.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

5 Ways to Let Go of, Past, Hurts

The only way you can accept new joy and happiness into your life is to make space for it. If your heart is filled full-up with pain from, past, hurt, you can't be open to anything new.

1. Make the decision to let go of the, past.

Things don’t disappear on their own. You need to make the commitment to “let it go.” If you don’t make this conscious choice up-front, you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on from this, past hurt.

Making the conscious decision to let it go also means accepting you have a choice to let it go. To stop reliving the, past, pain, to stop going over the details of the story in your head every time you think of the other person (after you finish step 2 below). This is empowering to most people, knowing that it is their choice to either become, trapped, by the pain, or to live a future life without it.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

2. Take responsibility and release blame for, past hurt.

Express the pain from, past hurt, whether it’s directly to the other person, or through just getting it out of your system (like venting to a friend, or writing in a journal, or writing a letter you never send to the other person). Get it all out of your system at once and take responsibility. Blame allows you to stay a victim.  Doing so will also help you understand why specifically you are hurting.

We don’t live in a world of black and whites, even when sometimes it feels like we do. While you may not have had the same amount of responsibility for the hurt you experienced, there may have been a small part of the hurt that you are also partially responsible for. What could you have done differently next time? Are you an active participant in your own life, or simply a hopeless victim? Will you let your pain become your identity? Or will you become, trapped, by it.

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iHeart Radio

3. Stop being the victim and blaming others.

Being the victim feels good — it’s like being on the winning team of you against the world. But guess what? The world largely doesn’t care, so you need to get over yourself. Yes, you’re special. Yes, your feelings matter. But don’t confuse with “your feelings matter” to “your feelings should override all else, and nothing else matters.” Your feelings are just one part of this large thing we call life, which is all interwoven and complex. And messy.

In every moment, you have that choice — to continue to feel bad about another person’s actions, or to start feeling good. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness, and not put such power into the hands of another person. Release the shackles and get out of the snares of blame. Why would you let the person who you feel is responsible for your, past hurt, have such power, right here, right now?

No amount of rumination of analyses have ever fixed a relationship problem. Never. Not in the entirety of the world’s history. So why choose to engage in so much thought and devote so much energy to a person who you feel has wronged you?

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4. Focus on the present.

Now it’s time to let go. Let go of the past, and stop reliving it. Stop telling yourself that story where the protagonist — you — is forever the victim of this other person’s horrible actions. You can’t undo the past, all you can do is to make today the best day of your life.

When you focus on the here and now, you have less time to think about the past. When the past memories creep into your consciousness (as they are bound to do from time to time), acknowledge them for a moment. And then bring yourself gently back into the present moment. Some people find it easier to do this with a conscious cue, such as saying to yourself, “It’s alright. That was the past, and now I’m focused on my own happiness and doing .”

Remember, if we crowd our brains — and lives — with hurt feelings, there’s little room for anything positive. It’s a choice you’re making to continue to feel the hurt, rather than welcoming joy back into your life.

5. Forgive them and free yourself from being, trapped.

We may not have to forget another person’s bad behaviors, but virtually everybody deserves our forgiveness. Sometimes we get stuck in our pain and our stubbornness, we can’t even imagine forgiveness. But forgiveness isn’t saying, “I agree with what you did.” Instead, it’s saying, “I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway.”

Download you copy of “Out Of The Snares” today
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE

Additional Resources

How to Forgive even when it feels impossible 

http://blog.myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-surviving-mothers-abandonment/

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

How to Use the Law of Attraction for Couples

How can the, Law of Attraction for couples, help you to thrive at home and at work? NYT best selling author Christy Whitman talks about thriving in your relationships this week  on the Transform your Mind with Coach Myrna” podcast.

Christy is the author of “Quantum Success 7 essential laws, for a thriving joyful and prosperous relationship with your work and money”

Life coach Myrna Young interviews Christy on her, personal development, life coaching podcast.  I am speaking  to 2 Times New York Bestselling author Ms Christy Whitman. Christy is also the author of “The Art of having It All”, Perfect Pictures, and Taming your Alpha Bitch and she has a new book that's coming out in September that's called, “Quantum Success, 7 essential laws, for a thriving joyful and prosperous relationship with your work and money”

Law of Attraction Thriving Introduction

I am so excited to be talking again to Christy. This is our second in a series of 3. Our topic today is coming directly from Christie's new book.

iHeart Radio

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-Transform-your-Mind-29542107/

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Christie Whitman is a Transformational Leader, Celebrity coach, New York Times bestselling author twice, one for “The Art of Having it All” and the second for “Taming your Alpha Bitch” I love that title! Christy has appeared on The Today Show, the Morning Show, and her works have been featured in People's magazine, Seventeen, Women's Day, Hollywood Life, and Teen Vogue among others.

Christie is the CEO and founder of the Quantum Success Learning Academy and Quantum Success Coaching Academy a 12-month, Law of Attraction, coaching certificate program. Christie has helped thousands of people through her empowerment seminars, speeches and coaching sessions, and products.

Christi's life-changing message reached over 200,000 people a month, and her work has been promoted by and featured with esteem authors and luminaries such as Marianne Williamson, Dr. Dwayne Dwyer, Marci Shimoff, Brian Tracy, Neil Donald Walsh, Abram Hicks, and Louise Hay. She currently lives in Arizona with her husband Frederic and there are two boys Alexander and Maxim.

Christy's Journey as a Law of Attraction for Couples Coach

Myrna – That’s was a very impressive Bio. I loved reading it. As a, life coaching podcast, I am always interested in my listeners learning life skills from my guests stories. You've done a lot, you're quite accomplished. Can you give us a little bit of your backstory? Tell us your journey to becoming a successful, Law of Attraction for couples, leader and, quantum success, coach .

Christy – Sure, I always had the drive to be successful, and worked with the, law of attraction, back in day about 20 years ago, before I found the other universal laws, I did what it took to take action. I had perseverance. I went after the things that I wanted. I was able to focus, using the, law of attraction for couples, but whenever I got there, I never felt satisfied.

Using the Law of Attraction for Couples to Bring you Happiness

I never felt happy, never felt like it was enough. So no matter what I accomplished, it just didn't good. When I actually accomplished something great, it actually would feel the opposite. I remember almost feeling let down, like okay well I was supposed to have this epiphany. I was supposed to have this, amazing feeling. I would never find that feeling of satisfaction.

When I learned more about, the law of attraction for couples, about 21 years ago, I really learned about how your thoughts create your reality. I had already been successful and I had a great career going. I was making money and yet, just wasn't satisfied. I just felt like all the things that I was told would make me happy it wasn't working and I was starting to think like what's wrong with me.

I thought if I had money, if I had the career, if I had a boyfriend, if I had this great body, look a certain way, then I would be happy, and none of the outer things were doing it for me. It was when I found a sense of myself, through meditation on the, law of attraction for couples, and through really returning to myself, stopped focusing outward on everything and everyone outside of me, a healthy selfish me.

I found I was coming back to myself. I started paying attention to the thoughts that I was thinking, that was activating, the law of attraction for couples, and how I was feeling and what I really came to understand, what my body of work really has been now, is that I have to be very mindful of that no matter what situation we're in, we can always find peace.

How to Have it All using the, Law of Attraction

How the Law of Polarity interacts with the Law of Attraction

The law of Polarity, there's a lot of things to appreciate and be grateful for. That's what my bodywork has been. My whole training for last 21 years has been really sensing within myself where I am. Thinking thoughts of lack and limitation, where I comparing myself to other people. I look at other people and go oh my GOD, there's so much more successful than me and then start feeling bad about myself and feeling like what I've accomplished is not enough.

Or do I compare myself to what other people are making? Or what impacts are my thought having? Those are times to check myself, look for what's right and good about my life and about my family and everything in my life versus what's wrong and bad.

These are a different training and a different mindset to come from a perspective of abundance instead of lack and limitation, and that's really where my internal work has been. Each time I shift up belief, a thought, a perspective from lack and limitation to one of abundance, my life just expands and explodes.

So those are the principles that I write about in my new book, Quantum Success, is that we're all searching for some type of success, and the accolades. You know what society says is this is accomplished, then you'll feel successful and a lot of people get there, and they feel empty, they feel like that it doesn't have much meaning in their lives or they're not feeling satisfied or fulfilled.

The truth is that as long as we're chasing things outside of ourselves we're always projecting our happiness or our fulfillment outside of ourselves. Fulfillment is never outside of ourselves, it's within ourselves and it's in the present moment. where all of our power exists.

How does The Law of Attraction for Couples Help in Relationships

Myrna – My first question is How does understanding your belief system help women and men who are functioning at high levels in their career or own their own business, but they're still struggling to find contentment or happiness? How does understanding the, law of attraction for couples, help? How does understanding, quantum success, principles help in relationships?

https://myhelps.us/podcast-sponsorship-transform-your-mind/

Christy – Our beliefs are one of the ways that we create. I mean when you think about it, when we have a belief and there is such a conviction that this is so, that this is the way it is, we will create that's what we are expecting to receive. It's what we are expecting life to give us. We can't create outside of our beliefs. If we believe that something good is going to happen, we then create something good.

There's an underlying belief that what we are creating we the deserve. We're not deserving or whatever it is; but we are always creating attracting things from the beliefs that we hold and here's the good news. If we look at our lives and we're not satisfied, we need to shift what we're not satisfied about. Look at what the contrast is in our life, what we don't want and allow that to be the springboard for what we do want.

I always ask myself when I'm finding a situation or circumstance happening in my life, I always ask myself what would I have to believe in order to create this? How does understanding the, law of attraction, facilitate my knowledge?

How Journaling helps Relationships

It's an empowering question. I recommend even journaling about it because a lot of times if you sit there and if you haven't done this practice before, you will not come up with an answer. I would take 10 mins with paper and I would journal. In order to create this situation what would I have to believe? What would I have to think? What would I have to be feeling in order to attract this?

You become more self-aware. I mean it's really the process of self-awareness and when we can slow down enough to pay attention to ourselves, that is the richest thing that we can do. Not only are we connecting with ourselves, which most of us don't do these days we're so busy with so much going on our lives, we need to take the time to slow down and connect with our own self, to know ourselves, to know what you believe about this and that. Beliefs are not either right or wrong. This is a, life coaching podcast, so I will answer with life coaching tips.

I love when you said that most people are not conscious. As a Guyanese, I want this to also be a, Guyana podcast, Most people including Guyanese people, do not understand the, law of attraction, You use the word self-awareness which is another term for consciousness. I've spent a lot of time with that word in meditation and being aware. I live in higher consciousness, personal development, yet at my level right now, I will not be able to look at a situation and figure out how I created it.

I'm not there yet, but I'm in the less than 1% of the world that actually are working on self-awareness, consciousness and, personal development, As a, life coaching podcast, I teach my clients basically that whatever they want, they can create. It starts with their thoughts and starts with their belief system. You and I are both, personal development, coaches and one of the first things I do in my coaching sessions, the first couple of weeks is basically we talk about beliefs and we look back at past behaviors. You can actually figure out what you believe from how you have navigated situations in your past.

The Law of Attraction for Couples and the Universal Laws

What exactly is the, Law of Attraction, and why is it important to know the universal laws and, quantum success? The, Law of Attraction for couples, for me when I learned about it completely changed my life and the reason that they completely changed my life or that my life completely changed is because they're for me like knowing the rules of the game or knowing the recipe to a really good cake or you know the plans to build a house.

I always say how successful would you be if you were going to go play baseball and you never saw the game before? You never knew how it was played? You don't know what the rules are. Someone hands you a bat and says okay hit the ball. You can’t play the game if you don’t understand the rules of the game. What to do when you hit the ball? How can you get thrown out etc.

Life is similar, you have to learn the rules of the game, you have to learn the playbook. The first step is about learning these, essential universal laws and the, law of attraction, and applying them so that you become the deliberate creator of your life instead of being a victim of circumstances. There's always going to be some kind of circumstance or situation or event or person that shapes our experiences.

It's what we do with those experiences the perspectives that we hold, that will determine what we continue to attract in our lives. So the more you learn about these, essential laws of the universe and, the law of attraction. Knowing these universal laws is knowing the rules of the game.

The Seven Universal Laws

I try to make myself a million dollars by working with the, law of attraction, and the seven essential universal laws. We live in a vibratory universe, our universe is all about vibration. Modern science and quantum physics have now proven that everything from a human being to a rock is full of energy. Everything is energy, our thoughts our feelings, what we say, what we do, everything is coming out of us like an energy tower and we as an individual person are sending out energy signals all day every day.

The, Law of Attraction, is just matching those signals that we send out, and giving us more of the same. Now it's not a tit-for-tat kind of thing, it's not like oh I told someone they were a jerk and now someone's going to call me on a jerk. It's not like that literal, but if you're sending out negative vibes you could be in traffic and someone could cut you off and you're experiencing road rage, that negativity for example that wave of negativity will then cast out a returning wave of negativity to you.

So we have to be mindful about the energy that we are sending out. The thoughts that we think, the language we use. We don't feel good when we're sending bad vibes out, so using feelings helps makes for better choices.

For example, language like I choose not to put up with this marriage anymore. I choose not to be treated like that anymore. I choose not to waste my money or spend my money on this right now. Those are more empowering ways and languages that we can use that actually do make a difference in what we attract. The, Law of Attraction for couples, is really a mirror reflection. I like to think of it as a boomerang, it's like what you're sending out it's coming back to you.

The most important law from the seven essential laws of the universe, I believe is the, Law of Sufficiency and Abundance. This law states that everything in the universe is abundant. Most of us are experiencing abundance of lack or pain or suffering, but the universe is always going to give us an abundance.

If you look at nature and look at trees you can't say we can't possibly count the amount of leaves that are on a tree or how many waves crash up again against the shore in the ocean, or count the raindrops that are coming down from the sky. The universe has always functioned in abundance, and to get what you want from the law is called sufficiency and abundance, it's being in a satisfied place.

It's coming from sufficiency. You get there by appreciating and looking for the good. In your life right now, in any situation, I don't care what it is you can find the good things about it. The law of Polarity says that every subject is really two subjects, it's the halving of it, or the not having of it. It's the lack of it or the abundance of it, and when we can deliberately choose how we want to focus, what we want to believe, what we want to appreciate, or not.

How Gratitude engages the Law of Attraction for Couples

Were the ones in charge of which area, what side of the spectrum, we want to be on any given subject, but the doorway into abundance is sufficiency. You start by practicing gratitude. I first started doing gratitude meditation, I would literally walk around and think of a hundred things a day, listing all of the things that I was grateful for and that would raise my vibration, it would make me feel so good and things started, almost like magic, would start being attracted into my life.

Another thing you can do is think about one thing you're grateful for and think of 20 things or reasons why and it's not lip service, it's not like I'm grateful for my husband and I'm grateful my kids, there's no energy behind that, there's no pain, you have to feel the emotion. Doesn't work unless you feel. That's why affirmations work for some people, and they don't work for other people because people are like I'm abundant, but there's no energy.

The other Universal Laws

These are seven essential laws of The Universe:
• The Law of Attraction,
• The Law of Allowing,
• The Law of Pure Potentiality ,
The law of Oneness,
• The Law of Balance and Harmony,
• The Law of Sufficiency and Abundance,

These universal laws, when you apply them and learn how to work with them, they will absolutely change your life.

The Universe sends human beings countless signs and symbols over the course of their lives, and if you are able to comprehend them, you’ll be able to sense when you’re on your destined path in life—and when you’re not. Please read the list below to make sure you haven’t missed any vital info, and to ensure that you’re on the right journey.

Here are 13 signs The, Law of Attraction, is working for you
https://ewao.com/2017/10/24/13-signs-the-law-of-attraction-is-working-for-you/
I love the Law of Sufficiency and Abundance. Deepak Chopra used to say we are just like a wave in the ocean, that the universe is abundant. We're not going to run out of water, we’re not going to run out of grass, sunlight. I've used this Law, let's say that you want a promotion and your friend gets it.

You're jealous and you're envious, that is a blockage because it means that you believe that is universe does not have enough for the both of you. if you say I'm happy for my friend, because this world is abundant and she's not taking my job, there's more available for me, and you're happy and you celebrate that person's success, what that’s saying is that you believe that the world is abundant.

You believe that whatever God can do for her, he is going to do for you, and that's where a lot of people don't get it. They're always envious and they're always catty and they're jealous and they can't celebrate your success. Abraham talks about this. She talks about contrast, she says go out there and look for contrast, look for things that you don't have and say that's what I want and be happy for that person. But most people don't live there. The do not understand the, the essential laws of attraction.

We’ve been talking about the, law of attraction, the playbook, personal development, quantum success, and making this a Guyana podcast, for my people.

Be aware of fear and desire. Awareness helps balance them ~ Deepak Chopra

To get a FREE copy of Christy’s book, Head over to iTunes snd leave a review for the Transform Your Mind with coach Myrna podcast, then head over to www.quantumsuccessbook.com and Kristy will send you her new book when it comes out in September for free. All you do is pay for shipping. Kristy will be back for one more episode.

Our topic will be “How to reverse the negative momentum in your career.” So remember to subscribe and you will not miss any new episodes. If you are from Guyana, I hope you enjoyed this, Law of Attraction podcast, leave me a shout out in the comments.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/using-the-law-of-attraction-to-have-it-all/

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

 

Happiness! The Universal goal of everyone who has breathe. So how can you find happiness after a divorce?

Coach Dan Willms talks about how your behavior affects your happiness. I agree; but here are my thoughts.

What is happiness?

Let's start with what it is not.

  • It is not how much money you have.
    It is not how big your house is.
    It is not what kind of car you drive.
    It is not found in any external thing!
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Here are 3 ways to find, happiness, after a divorce:

1. Your relationship with yourself.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you.
3. And your relationship with God.

Let's look at each of these
As you can see, relationship is key.

We are social beings, we need connection, even it is one person.
That is why people commit suicide at Christmas, because while everyone is celebrating with family and friends they are alone.
It is also the reason that social media is so powerful, it allows connection to others.

Out of the Snares of rape

I will share a story.
This woman from Toronto sent me a friend request on Facebook. She was the friend of one of my friends. I accepted. Then she started reaching out to me about coaching and about my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” .

I found out her story.
Raped twice when she was a teenager, sent to live with her father in another country who abandoned her, got pregnant and gave her child up for adoption. She was living in a studio apartment alone. Facebook was her lifeline. You don’t know who is on the other end of that friend request!
So if you are lonely, connect!

These are a different training and a different mindset to come from a perspective of abundance instead of lack and limitation, and that’s really where my internal work has been. Each time I shift up belief, a thought, a perspective from lack and limitation to one of abundance, my life just expands and explodes.

You know what society says is this is accomplished, then you’ll feel successful and a lot of people get there, and they feel empty, they feel like that it doesn’t have much meaning in their lives or they’re not feeling satisfied or fulfilled. The truth is that as long as we’re chasing things outside of ourselves we’re always projecting our happiness or our fulfillment outside of ourselves. Fulfillment is never outside of ourselves, it’s within ourselves and it’s in the present moment. where all of our power exists.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

1. Let's look First at your relationship with yourself.

The first secret to finding happiness, You have to love yourself.
If you can't love yourself, no one else can love you. If you can't love yourself, you can never be happy!

You can start by finding one thing about you, that you love.
Come on, God knew what he was doing when he created you. Everyone has at least one thing that makes them stand out.
One of my daughter’s friend’s laments about the fact that she has no breasts and no curves. She can't find a boyfriend. Why? Because she projects that and that is what the men see. Not loving herself shows up in other ways in a relationship.

Now look at some women who do not fit the cultural norm of beauty and weight. I can guaranty you that in every situation if she loves herself, she will be in a healthy relationship.
Plus, if there is something you can change about something you don't like about yourself, do it.
If you can't change it, find a different perspective on it and learn to love it.

2. Your relationship with those closest to you

A mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a best friend, a spouse are top on the list of level 5 intimate, relationships. A level 5, relationship, is a relationship with someone who knows your intimate secrets. Someone who you share everything with and they with you. If you have someone like this in your life. You are blessed indeed.
Now you may be wondering why I did not add children to that list. Children gives us profound happiness especially when they are young. But you can't share secrets with your children so they don't provide the intimacy we look for to be happy.
To be happy find a level 5 friend and cry on their shoulders!

3. Your relationship with God.

The beauty of having a relationship with God is that it alone can make you happy. If you have a relationship with God, you will love yourself, you will be happy alone because you feel God's presence with you always, your relationships will be healthy because you will love unconditionally because that is what God teaches us to do. You will find opportunities to bless others and that will make you happy.
A relationship with God is not just going to church, it is not just knowing scripture, it is not just about tithing. The relationship I am talking about is being in direct communication with God.
Going to God with your issues and struggles and seeing him make a way out of no way. Seeing him turn the weapons formed against you into blessings. Being able to receive guidance from the Holy Spirit every day. When you walk in that space everything else in your life falls into place.

You will not only find happiness again, but you will find bliss!

Listen to the full episode on YouTube
_blank”>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vxDGuSyiHQ

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A Dolphin Trainer Finds Purpose After Cancer

Joy the story of cancer survivor

It was the first time since I started coughing, I put my hand on my throat and I felt a lump. Shortly after that, I was diagnosed with, throat cancer. It was stage two, Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I remember asking the doctor what happens if I don't get, chemotherapy, and she said you'll be dead within the year. I really didn't have any choice, it was an aggressive form of, cancer, and I needed to just stick it out and battle it with the, chemotherapy.

I came up with the idea of making a documentary of my, cancer, journey  because that way I could still learn about filmmaking and I wanted to show a story of, survival, because when I turn to the movies, I don't see any, cancer survivor, stories only stories of, cancer, patients who  passed away. I knew that there were millions of, cancer survivors, out there and I wanted to show a story of, survival.

My guest today is Joy Claussen Soto. Joy is a, cancer survivor, filmmaker and author. Today, we are going to be talking on the topic “How to find your, purpose, after cancer or after a major illness?

Myrna: Can you share your journey as a, dolphin trainer, and how that specifically helps you overcome, cancer, because I know that you're tying them together somehow.

Listen to the full interview here:

My Journey as a Dolphin Trainer

Joy: Well my journey as a, dolphin trainer, started a long time ago when I was in college. For me, the really important part was when I applied to get a job at SeaWorld.  I tried a number of times to get a job at Sea World, but it never worked out because they just weren't hiring people. Fortunately, I happened to call at the right time and they asked me to take a, swim test. I was in Chicago at the time, so I had to fly out to San Diego and I had one day to take this test.  I went down to a pool to practice the, swim test, which was holding your breath for 120 seconds underwater, touching the bottom which is 26 feet deep and some other things.

Those were the biggest challenges that I was having trouble with. So I went down to the pool to started practicing. I would hold my breath and then come up maybe a quarter of the way. I couldn't even get half the way through the pool without needing to come up for oxygen and when I dived down in a pool that's six feet deep my ears start to hurt. But, for some reason I still got on that plane and went to San Diego to do this, swim test, at Sea World. I knew that I hadn't practiced physically, but I remembered reading about athletes and how they used their minds to visualize the ball going through the hoop, and gymnasts who visualize themselves doing all their moves. Those were my thoughts as I was on the plane. I started visualizing everything. I visualized myself swimming through the water, wanting to give up and not giving up, and making it to the other side and also same thing with diving down.

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Visualizing Dolphin trainer swim test

I practiced holding my breath the whole time on the airplane. I probably looked like a crazy person. I had my watch out and started practicing that, visualization, also helped me, beat cancer.  I went there to Sea World took the, swim test, and miraculously, I got in the water and I passed the test. I was so happy that I had done it, I didn't even care if I got the job because I was just so proud of myself that I put myself out there and I did something that I  physically couldn't do just 24 hours before.

When it comes to, cancer, I'd seen how powerful, visualization, was. I would use that when I was sick, because I think one of the things when you are going through something like that is that you feel a loss of control. We all know that a loss of control can lead to, depression. When I was going through, cancer, I couldn't have control over what the, Chemotherapy, was doing to my body. I didn't have control over what the doctors were doing, but I did have control over my mind.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Visualization to Beat Cancer

I visualized, Chemotherapy, killing the, cancer, eating the, cancer, and make these little things in my mind to help it along. So, that helped me. Even though, it may not have been real control, but perceived control,  I was using that as one of the ways I was able to gain back control. That was one thing that helped me from my job as a, dolphin trainer.

Myrna: Visualization, is powerful. I always reference back to Christopher Reeves, when anybody's talking about, visualization, as a part of healing. Christopher Reeves book called “Nothing is Impossible” talks about how he used, visualization, to heal his body when he was paralyzed from the neck down and all he could do is blow into a straw to speak. That was powerful stuff and I never forgot it.  Visualization, helped him start walking and speaking. He did it by sitting on his porch every single day and, visualizing, his body healing and that's my base. A lot of people have done that since then but visualization is big. Can you bridge the gap in a bit for us about your cancer story?

Joy: Even though my passion was working with dolphins, I also wanted to become a filmmaker. So, I quit my job at SeaWorld and enrolled in Film School. I was in film school for three months and that was when I found the lump in my throat. I had been coughing, the cough was getting worse instead of better and I felt really tired.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Being diagnosed with Throat Cancer

It was the first time since I started coughing, I put my hand on my throat and I felt a lump. Shortly after that, I was diagnosed with, throat cancer. It was stage two, Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I remember asking the doctor what happens if I don't get, chemotherapy, and she said you'll be dead within the year. I really didn't have any choice, it was an aggressive form of, cancer, and I needed to just stick it out and battle it with the, chemotherapy.

I came up with the idea of making a documentary of my, cancer, journey  because that way I could still learn about filmmaking and I wanted to show a story of, survival, because when I turn to the movies, I don't see any, cancer survivor, stories only stories of, cancer, patients who  passed away. I knew that there were millions of, cancer survivors, out there and I wanted to show is a story of, survival.

Myrna: What it sounds like is that, at no point in time you thought you're going to die, because you wanted to show a story of, survival,  that's faith. Where did you get that faith?

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Transform your Mind Podbean
Transform your Mind Podbean

Faith and survival

Joy: I've always had a belief in God, and my dad taught me about, faith. I remember we had a lot of my relatives pass away in a short period of time when I was little. I remember sitting on the chair with my dad in our house, he explained to me what death was.

He said some people are here for a certain reason – to help other people learn lessons and to learn lessons themselves. That can mean just being here for a couple of minutes or it can mean an entire lifetime. So, I just kind of took that as my understanding of, purpose, and I've used that throughout my life. Well, I'm here to learn lessons, but I don't know what those lessons are. Hopefully, I'm learning them right now and I'm here to help teach other people lessons. So, that has helped me get through, cancer treatments.

Myrna: Regardless of how you believe and how much, faith, you have when you heard that, cancer, diagnosis, fear had to creep in.

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Download on Spotify

Fear and Zig Zigler

Joy: Absolutely. I was in a battle with myself and, fear. I have footage in my documentary of me talking to the camera at my lowest point when I let, fear, in. What really helped me, was I had listened to a Zig Ziglar motivational tape. There was one story of him being stuck in an Airport, his flight was canceled, but instead of him being angry or upset like most people would have, he just said fantastic. He came up with all the reasons why it was good that his flight wasn't taking off:

  • Maybe there's something wrong with that plane
  • something wrong with the people flying that plane
  • the weather was bad and could crash the plane.

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Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

If that's the case, he said “I don't want to be up there, I want to be right down here, fantastic.”  That was powerful for me, because it showed me that we have control over how we either respond or react to things. I had a moment when I remembered that life is indeed fantastic!  I started thinking of all things I was grateful for:

  • I was grateful for my friends and family and all the love I was receiving
  • Grateful that they found my, throat cancer, at stage two
  • Incredibly grateful that they found my, cancer, period and they can treat it.
  • I started flipping it instead of going, I was diagnosed with cancer and it's horrible, I started flipping it to get to fantastic.   It helped me to get through it better and become a, cancer survivor.

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Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes
Download on iTunes

An Attitude of Gratitude to beat cancer

Myrna: That's awesome. This is good stuff, they say. Another quote is I like is:

It's not what happens to you, but how you respond to what happened to you.

An,  attitude of gratitude, is a powerful treatment for, cancer. Now, how did you learn to control the, uncontrollable? You said you were able to control the elements in an, uncontrollable, situation. You just said a minute ago that your, visualization, of the, chemotherapy, that you had to do, is an, uncontrollable, situation. What are some of the other things or some of the other elements that you use in this, uncontrollable, situation to control?

Joy:  The whole time that I was sick, I had this visual of me surviving and making a, story of survival. I think that was very powerful and that helped me in taking back control of my life. The, attitude of gratitude, my notebook and the documentary, those were ways I was able to grab back some control when I was going through an, uncontrollable, situation.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Making a Cancer Survival Story documentary

In my, cancer survival, documentary, I filmed all the details of my very bad moments with, cancer, when things weren't going well. At one point, I was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night. I was on a bench for a short period of time. I was very weak. I could hardly talk because I have mucositis. It goes all the way down. It's like a strep throat, but it's from the chemical from my, cancer treatment. Everything was bad and that moment. I needed my first blood transfusion. I asked my friends to keep filming and take footage of me when I'm getting the blood transfusion. I think it is really important to see, that you can go through the fire and come out at the other end.

Myrna; I love it. Where can readers watch this documentary?

Joy: I recently uploaded to YouTube. It’s called “Just one Year – A Story of Triumph over Cancer”. My book is more complete and is called “Joy – The story of a Dolphin Trainer, Filmmaker and Cancer Survivor”.

Myrna: How did becoming a, cancer survivor, help you find your, purpose? Didn’t you think that being a, dolphin trainer, was your, purpose before, cancer?

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

 

Cancer Helped me Find My Meaning Of Life

Joy: I've always loved animals and the ocean. It's always been a big part of my life. That was just something that I enjoyed.

Myrna: That's what you use, positive reinforcement, to work with, Dolphins.

Joy: It just kind of all came together, but I don't know if working with, dolphins, was my, purpose in life. I believe that becoming a, cancer survivor, is my, meaning of life.

Myrna: It gave you a little direction, right?

Joy: Yes, you're not going to just jump out of the crib and have a,  purpose, or know the, meaning of life. I felt like I survived, cancer, to help other, cancer, patients survive. I've been the happiest helping others. I was able to start a program, helping kids with cancer,  where they can come to the park and get in the water to meet a, dolphin. One of the most important parts of that program was that I would tell them my, cancer survival story.

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Transform your mind PTWWN TV
PTWWN TV – A Dolphin Trainer Finds Purpose After Cancer

Sharing my cancer survival story to help kids with cancer

I would say, “Hey, I know a lot of you here are being treated at children's hospital. I was treated there too, but now look; I get to work here as a , dolphin trainer, in my dream job and I get to share it with you.”

Myrna: That's a powerful thing and that gives people hope.

Joy: The first moment when I realized that whenever someone survives something, there's something magical about, survival.

Myrna: What made you write the book and what is the message that you're trying to share?

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Joy: I wrote the book to give people hope. Whenever one of my friends knows of someone who has been diagnosed with, cancer, they would always refer that person to me and I would tell my, survival story, to a lot of different people just to give them hope from my, survival. I know it's giving people hope.

I had a friend of mine who just went through, cancer. She's still growing back her hair. I haven't talked to her since high school, that's a long time ago. She read my book and she said it was like reading her own, survival story. It showed her that life can be even better after, cancer. I also wanted to share that the problems do not go away after you, survive cancer. People would think okay now that you, beat cancer, that you should be so blissful. That you're floating in heaven.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Your Cancer Journey does not end after you Beat Cancer

That's not the case. For me, I was bald. All my muscles had atrophied from being in a hospital bed for the last six months. I had, PTSD, but I didn't know it. I was still in my head sick and going through, cancer, every night. I would sleep and dream that I was still sick in the hospital. It took me a year. I think something that's really important is when you go through something like this to know when it's time to reach out for help. It took me a year to realize I needed to get help. So, I finally started talking to someone about a year out and that's when I feel like I started to really heal from, cancer.

Myrna: Wow, this is a bonus.  I would never have imagined that after you, survive cancer, and you are going to live that you are not blissfully happy!

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Conclusion

Book Joy the story of a dolphin trainer and cancer survivor
Book Joy the story of a dolphin trainer and cancer survivor

Your story is talking about, survival skills, for, cancer,  but there are so many things that people have to survive other illnesses or . What I mean is, this book can help a lot of people in their, survival story, whether it's divorce, whether it's losing a child, whether it's being homeless or whether it's losing your job. Whatever it is, these principles can be transferred into any, survival story.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Additional Resources 

 

Learn How to Get Back to Basics With These 7 Core Values

How to use Food for Beauty and Your Natural Facelift

How to get a natural facelift with food

Food, plays a major role in, beauty,  not only because it helps us reduce, stress, but it feeds us vitamins and minerals that can stimulate our, collagen. My whole approach to, skin care, is how do we purge the mind, the body and the skin from, stress and have a natural, facelift?

Gregory Landsman is one of the most noted global, beauty, and wellness experts in the world. He is the best-selling author of nine books, and a TV host who specializes in using food as a natural, facelift. Often referred to as ‘The Beauty Advisor’, Gregory’s books and global TV program “Face Lifting Food” show viewers how to create quick skin-boosting meals and powerful skin treatments using everyday foods to achieve younger, healthier looking skin at any age. Having worked in the, beauty, industry for 30+ years Gregory believes that looking youthful goes well beyond waging war on wrinkles: and that how we age is 100% controllable. His natural, face lifting, methods are used globally by models, shown in universities, and recommended by doctors. Gregory is a strong voice for inclusion. From Apartheid South Africa to working at the height of the fashion industry, and his fundamental discovery that regardless of what we do, how we look cannot be separated from how we feel.

Listen to the full interview here: 

 

Introduction to Becoming a Beauty Expert

Myrna – Tell us your journey to becoming a, beauty, and wellness expert as well as authoring nine books.

Gregory – I think our life journey takes us where we need to go regardless of where we start. My journey to understanding the concept of, beauty, started from a young age. I was born in South Africa at the height of the apartheid system. Many people say that the country you are born in shapes the quality of the human being and your character.

In my case I have strong views on skin, because from an early age I knew that the color of my skin, the texture of my hair and the width of my nose would determine my level of freedom. My quality of life and before I even got to school, I could read park bench signs – whites only or the public toilets or having to listen to my mum saying could you please hold going to the bathroom until we got home because you can't use that toilet.

We've got to stop with the judgments, we've got to stop with the labels. I was a child that was beaten and spat on daily by the time I got to school for my differences. I had lost all belief in who I was as a child, but I was able to put myself back together. We shifted to Australia and my mum became a model and I followed in her footsteps and that's how I entered into the, beauty, Industry.

Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes
Download on iTunes

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict
Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

Beauty comes from the inside

Myrna – Your story is really interesting. When you were growing up you probably had a negative opinion of yourself and then you became a model and a, beauty expert. Did that shift the way you viewed yourself?

Gregory – I still walked around with insecurities and fears  and I still felt like that broken kid. That's why I firmly believe that what is on the inside shows up on the outside. My grandma said something that goes to the heart of, beauty.

She said you know boy, God gives us all five minutes of grace and we can wow people with our fancy smiles and our cute little nose; but after your five minutes, the truth of who you are emerges and nothing can hide that.

 

The definition of Beauty

I utilize the acronym of, beauty:

B – is for balance. It is the balance of inner virtues that radiates outwardly. It's what ultimately shapes our, beauty, and our lives.

E – the ease for enthusiasm, to show enthusiasm for who we are and all aspects of who we are.

A – is for acceptance, accepting ourselves as a whole without isolating or fragmenting, beauty, to certain physical characteristics.

U – is for understanding that when we are born, we are born whole and beautiful and along the way we have been educated to doubt what we were given. If we have the ability to create insecurity, we have the ability to eliminate it.

T – is for trust, learning to trust in who we are and what we represent in this world, and the wisdom that you possess.

Y- You possess, beauty, if you can see it in a much more expansive way, other than just physical, beauty. It is not about masculinity, it's not about femininity, it's about humanity and celebrating the divine differences we all bring to this world.

That is the foundation that my work is based on, because I believe that is where it starts. It starts on the inside and then we can take care of the skin that houses the spirit, we take care of our, beauty.

It is not a line that ages a woman, it is her energy. Her energy gives her a natural, facelift.

Beauty and Aging

When a woman begins to lose her self-belief and her strong sense of what she represents in this world, she begins to age. I know women who are 85 years old, I call them ageless, because it's not about their age, it's about their energy and they're beautiful.

How to Get a Natural Facelift
The Beauty of a Natural Facelift

Gregory – Myrna you're ageless, you've got vitality and beauty, it's your beautiful energy. It is infectious and give you a natural, facelift.

Myrna – Thank you, I do have a lot of good energy and I feel good about myself and I laugh a lot. I am thinking this is because I have good genes and because I followed a, skin care, regiment since the age of 18 years old. When I was 18 years old, I became a model and learnt, skin care. I have kept that, skin care routine, of cleanse, tone and moisturize for over 3 decades. I have also done facials over the years to give my face a, facelift.

Gregory – When we're speaking about cleanse, tone and moisturize, that is all the stuff of forgive, learn, laugh that's how we're constantly cleansing internally and that is a natural, facelift. We are letting stuff go and the more we let go, the younger we look.

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Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts
Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts

Aging of the Skin is a natural process

I never look at, skin, in isolation or a wrinkle, it's much more on a holistic level. Aging is a natural process of life, and it is something that I welcome; but, premature skin aging, we can seriously do something about that.

The skin, it never lies.

  • It will tell you the food you're eating or not eating,
  • You skin will tell you your breathing patterns,
  • Highlights the lack of water, or lack of sleep.
  • All of these things play a major role in our skin and, beauty.

Food, plays a major role in, healthy skin,  not only because it helps us reduce, stress, but it feeds us vitamins and minerals that can stimulate our, collagen and give us a, facelift. My whole my whole approach to, skin care, is how do we purge the mind, the body and the skin from, stress?

We do that with, food, we purge with good breathing, we do it with, face exercises, and a little, face massage. We have to purge the body from, stress, because, stress, is what ages the skin. When we are stressed, we make less, collagen, and as we age it also decreases. Constant, stress, accelerates this whole process.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Aging Skin and Stress

If the, stress hormone, cortisol, is raging, you are aging prematurely. We want to get, cortisol, under control and we can do it with, food, and breath. Cortisol, is responsible when if you can't sleep, that means you have too much of it in your body.

Stress, and, cortisol, impacts the production of our, collagen, and it creates chaos with our skin. It also creates chaos in our lives, when we don't feel good, we don't look good either.

Myrna – You mentioned that, sleep, is really important when it comes to your, skin care routine, people often refer to it as, beauty sleep.

What people don't know is that when we, sleep, we activate the, human growth hormone, which strengthens the skin. It creates a thicker skin. It's also in the state of, rest and digest, where we repair our skin and more, collagen, is produced.

The greatest, anti-aging, secrets can be found in our everyday, foods. With the right, foods, wrinkles begin to fade and skin regains elasticity, that's the power of, food to give us a natural, facelift.

Can we get collagen from beauty creams?

When you buy facial products or creams with, collagen, it is a waste of money. Collagen, is the protein in connective tissue that keeps the, skin, elastic. That molecule can't push through the, skin, when applied with creams. The best way to stimulate, collagen, is through, food, and, sleep.

The fibers in our, collagen, become weak through the free radicals. The best way to strengthen is to eat, foods, and topically apply skin regenerating vitamins and minerals that naturally stimulate and protect our, collagen.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Collagen stimulating foods:

• Vitamin C – Vitamin C is key to, collagen, production and since it can't be stored in the body, it's really important to top it up all the time. So we have to eat, face-lifting foods, like –

  • sweet red peppers,
  • brussels sprouts,
  • broccoli and
  • tomato.

If you love tomato, while it's fantastic uncooked, when you cook it with a little bit of olive oil, you access lycopene, a powerful antioxidant.

A  fresh tomato is something you can put in a little strainer and you take the juice of it and apply that on your skin. It's a wonderful tonic for the skin and a natural, facelift.

• Vitamin E – that's a powerful antioxidant that protects and reduces damage caused to, skin cells; but it's also anti-inflammatory and that keeps the, skin, smooth, and it reduces wrinkles.
• You can find antioxidant with spinach, almonds, sunflower oil and mangoes. It’s not one specific, face lifting food, it is a variety.

• Vitamin B – is incredible for, skin, and you can get a complex variety from beets, eggs, turkey, whole wheat breads. If you are a lover of spinach and kale, pour a little bit of olive oil over the greens. It helps the body absorb the nutrients effectively.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Face lifting Foods

If you eat garlic and onion, they contain sulfur, a wonderful, beauty, mineral, but with garlic, one thing you've got to remember is while it's got incredible health benefits you must crush it and then leave it for at least five minutes. It activates and releases the enzyme allicin, an organic compound and a really powerful antioxidant and, facelift.

Glutathione, is often referred to as the mother of all antioxidants, you find it in the tip of asparagus, and avocados. It's a wonderful way to support your, glutathione, levels.

If you've heard of, hyaluronic acid, people have it injected in their faces. These are injectables, but if you look, hyaluronic acid, is present when a baby's born. Babies they always say as smooth as a baby's bottom. Babies are pumped full of, hyaluronic acid, but as we age we lose it, but something as simple as consuming Vitamin B in our diet activates and helps increase our, hyaluronic acid, levels for a natural, facelift.

Include omega-3 fatty acids in your diet, it is a wonderful moisturizer, you access omega-3 fatty acids through fish, and it moisturizes the skin from the inside out giving you a, facelift.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Supplements help to get nutrients into your Skin

You use, supplements, if you're not getting these nutrients in natural, food.

Water we all have access to it and our body it's 70 to 80% of our brain tissue is water, so if you're dehydrated your body and your mind are stressed. If you're feeling thirsty, you're already a little bit dehydrated.

I can change someone's, skin, the quality and texture of with water and showing them how to breathe correctly.

Myrna – We can't have this conversation without talking about what Hollywood and most people are doing with the cosmetic, plastic surgery. Plumping up the, skin, with Botox.

Using Natural Food as a facelift instead of Plastic Surgery

I think our world as it stands today, there's some things going wrong especially in the, beauty, world. The, beauty, industry, anti-aging, it's a multi-billion dollar industry that often drives fear and, stress, around the aging process.

There's a fine line between self-improvement and self-destruction and with many of the procedures that I see, I believe that we've crossed the line to self-destruction. I can't see the, beauty, in a face that doesn't move or paralyzing a muscle.

You wrote the books “Face Value” “Face Fitness” and “Face Food” tells us about your books.

Face Value, is a incredible book that shows you really how to utilize all the ingredients in your kitchen to take years off your face naturally and for a natural, facelift. It will show you things like how to use the avocado, what grape seed oil can to support stronger skin. This
is based on rock solid science, everything that I do is based on science.

That's why I work in the wellness centers with people undergoing chemotherapy. I show them how to change their, skin, because chemotherapy does horrible stuff to, skin.

Book: Face food
Book: Face food

I wrote “Face Food” and Face Food shows you how to stimulate the, collagen, from the inside with foods that you're eating and where to find all of these, anti-aging, ingredients.

Face massages and Face Fitness

We haven't touched on, face fitness, is how do you keep the muscles on the face strong because it's not a line that ages a face, but a sagging muscle. We've got over 50 of these muscles on the face, we only use not even half of them, so when we know these are the muscles need to be strengthened.

We give ourselves a, natural facelift. When I get a, facial they always end it with a, face massage.
I also do a, face massage, every night when I apply my night cream.

Additional Resources

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Change Your Skincare Routine: Change Your Life

How to Find Beauty in Your Now!

The Life and Death of Nipsey Hussle: Hip Hop Brightest Artist

Nipsey Hussle Hip Hop Artist

Rob Kenner, New York Times best-selling author of the Marathon Don't Stop: The Life and Times of Nipsey Hussle shares the  principles that, Nipsey Hussle,  advocated in his music and in his daily life and work. Nipsey's music on self-empowerment, economic independence, owning your own intellectual property, owning real estate investments, financial literacy and also just supporting people who support you.

Rob – The reason that I wrote the book and called it The Marathon Don't Stop is because I believe that, Nipsy Hussle, is one of the most important and misunderstood artists in the history of, hip-hop.

Download and listen to the full interview here:

Introduction to Nipsey Hussle

Rob is going to share the life of the Man, Nipsey Hussle, not just the artist.  Nipsey Hussle, was more than a rapper, this young man was instrumental in a lot of things: building up his community and giving back among other things. Rob is going to expand on our knowledge of both the, hip-hop, artist and, Nipsey Hussle,  life and legacy.

 

I must confess that I did not know of, Nipsey Hussle, until he was murdered and the whole world was talking about him.  My generation is not necessarily a rap or a, hip-hop, kind of generation, my generation is the R&B soul generation.  Rob on the other hand is intimately connected with, hip-hop, and its culture.

Book: The Marathon Don't Stop
Book: The Marathon Don't Stop

Bio of Rob Kenner New York Times Best Selling Author

Rob Kenner is one of the most prolific and influential voices in, hip hop, publishing. A founding editor of Vibe, Kenner joined the start-up team of Quincy Jones’ groundbreaking, hip hop, monthly in 1992. During a nineteen-year run at Vibe, he edited and wrote cover and feature stories on iconic cultural figures ranging from Tupac Shakur to Barack Obama as well as writing the acclaimed column Boomshots.

Kenner’s writing has appeared in Complex, Genius, Mass Appeal, Pigeons & Planes, Ego Trip, Poetry magazine, The New York Times, and Billboard. He’s also produced and directed documentary shorts on the likes of De La Soul, Nas, and Post Malone. As an editor at Vibe Books, Kenner worked on the New York Times bestseller Tupac Shakur and contributed to The Vibe History of Hip Hop. He went on to co-author VX: 10 Years of Vibe Photography and produced the book Unbelievable, a biography of The Notorious B.I.G. by Cheo Hodari Coker which was optioned for the motion picture Notorious. His latest book is a New York Times Best seller “The Marathon Don't Stop: The Life and Times of Nipsey Hussle. 

 

Myrna – I was reading your press releases, I understand that you met, Nipsey Hussle, about 10 years ago at, Vibe.  What impressed you most about the man back then?

Nipsey Hustle Hip Hop Music

Rob – Nipsey Hussle, had just released one of his first major mixtapes a project called Bullets Ain't Got No Name and he was very excited to come up to the office of, vibe magazine, and presented it to the staff. I learned later in the process of researching my book The Marathon Don't Stop, he had been submitting his demo and photo to the magazine for some time hoping to be featured in our “next section”, which is a platform for new artists.  People like Jay-z and Biggie and Mary J Blige got their first break at, Vibe, by being featured in the “next section” at, Vibe.

Nipsey's goal was be featured in that section but, honestly where he was in his career at that moment he was not really on our radar yet.  He was an unsigned artist so, and he was first sending those demos in, but like every goal he ever set for himself in life.  He set a very high goal and although he did not achieve his goal right away he persisted. Nipsey Hussle, just kept at it and did not give up and by God he made it into the office of, Vibe, by 2009 and presented his mixtape to the Staff.

I was impressed by his charisma, his energy, his personal magnetism.  I remember the man who walked into the conference room that day. His braids immaculately done and his outfit on point, his gold chain was shining, and he was very proud to be presenting his music.  When he pressed play, it was powerful stuff.

We had worked on the first cover story for Snoop Dogg back in 1993 and so I personally had a strong sense of déjà vu.  Nipsey Hussle, was coming from Los Angeles and giving that really hard West Coast sound.  One of the tracks on the tape he was rapping over a famous Dr Dre beat the song Gin and Juice. You have to come correct if you are going to record to that beat. It was very impressive to me.

 

Vibe Magazine featured New Hip Hop Artists in their Next Section

After he played all of his music, I took him aside and I said, “keep doing what you're doing” In fact he did get his one-page write-up at, Vibe, shortly before the magazine folded or seized print publication. Vibe, did transition to a digital publisher online magazine. Over time everything he did was special, he was just doing things differently.

He was changing the game in terms of his business strategy and as I would learn later his commitment to his community and to all the people that were helping him build his movement.

So, that was that was the first impression and it stuck with me.

 

Myrna – I was very impressed motivate and hustle official video.  Loved the music, it had close to 63 million views. Hip hop has a large audience.

Can you tell us why you wrote the book “The Marathon Don’t Stop?” I know that a couple of Nipsey’s mix tapes were called, Marathon. What does that really mean and why did you choose it as a title of your book?

The Marathon Continues

Rob – Marathon, and, The Marathon Continues, is a kind of motto for his fans especially after his tragic passing.  Kind of a rallying cry to make sure that all of the things that, Nipsey Hussle, stands for to continue.  All of the principles that he advocated in his music and in his interviews and in his daily life and his work which have to do with self-empowerment, economic independence, owning your own intellectual property, owning real estate investments, financial literacy and also just supporting people who support you.

The reason that I wrote the book and called it The Marathon Don't Stop is because I believe that, Nipsy Hussle, is one of the most important and misunderstood artists in the history of, hip-hop.

As you mentioned he was a businessman, entrepreneur, leader, and an activist.  He really identified strongly with civil rights leaders.

In the latest song which was released after his passing is a track called What It Feels Like featuring Jay-z and, Nipsy Hussle, on the same track. This track was used for soundtrack to the film Judas and the Black Messiah. Nipsy often referred to himself as young, Malcolm X.

He wore a, Malcolm X, pendant which his brother had made custom for himself and then let Nipsey keep when he was going away to prison for some time.

Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Nipsey Hussle was more than a Hip Hop Artist

I think he saw himself as much more than an entertainer, he was someone committed to the upliftment and full respect of his community. I think that is one of the reasons why this book was so important. You are not the only person who's told me that you were unaware of what Nipsey was doing until you tuned into his Staples Center memorial service where 20,000 thousand people were all on their feet mourning him and celebrating his life.

President Obama wrote him a letter of tribute for that ceremony. Stevie Wonder sang at the funeral, Snoop Dogg eulogized him and of course his beloved Lauren London delivered a very moving tribute.

He had a family-owned business which was called All Money and No Money.

He and his brother also had a successful clothing store called the, Marathon, clothing which they built right in the same shopping plaza where he used to sell his mixtapes hand-to-hand right there on Slauson and Crenshaw.

He always talks about that intersection in his music.

Myrna – Yes, I noticed he's got a title called Crenshaw.

Nipsey Hussle The Marathon Continues

Rob – That was a groundbreaking mixtape The Crankshaft Project, I would say for the rap industry that was the moment that if you were not paying attention to, Nipsey Hussle, everybody woke up at that moment because he had the ambitious idea of selling his mixtape for a hundred dollars.

The Crenshaw tape by that point he had put out a few free mixtapes and built up quite a loyal fan base, the Crenshaw actually came after the, Marathon, tape and, marathon continues, so those tapes expressed his vision of the, marathon, which was a long-term view.  Viewing life as a, Marathon, you don't give up just because you're behind in the first lap.  The, marathon, is not a team sport, other people can be cheering for you,  you can practice together; but nobody else can run your race.

Nipsey, understood that and he used that concept of the, marathon, to um encourage himself when he was down,  when there were setbacks in his path.  There were quite a few which you can get into in the book in detail; but he withstood tremendous pressure from a neighborhood that was extremely volatile.  There was a very hostile relationship between the police and the members of the community.  There was a strong gang culture which, Nipsey Hussle, eventually became involved in. His life was filled with challenges, he was someone that had unlimited potential, but huge obstacles, seemingly unsurmountable obstacles.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Nipsey Hussle an  Activist for change

People were paying attention to his work and what he stood for and the principles that he lived by. That is why the book is called The Marathon Don't Stop, because Nipsy Hussle’s movement has not stopped.  He has been a steady presence in all the conversations about race in America. His face has been on murals all around the world, his music was streamed millions of times on election day 2020.

He had a very important song called FBT, I’m not sure if you listen to that one; but the initials are a rebuke of president Donald Trump.

Hip-hop, I believe helped to mobilize the vote which brought President Obama into office, but after eight years of Obama, Donald Trump was presenting kind of a backlash and playing on racial divisions. I think,  Nipsey Hussle, deserves credit for recognizing the power of, hip-hop, to speak to the moment in terms of social and political issues.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/podcast/embed

Nipsey Hussle and Tupak Shakur

Myrna – You also make a comparison between, Nipsey Hussle, and, Tupac Shakur, what are the similarities between these two, hip hop, artists?

Rob – I wasn't the first one to compare Nipsey to Tupac, he actually called himself the Tupac of his generation. The album Victory Lap which was his major label debut,  has a line that states this. I did an in-depth interview with him I asked him about that line in the song, because that's a big statement.

I said you're calling yourself the Tupac of your generation, what do you mean by that?

He replied that to him, Tupac was a trojan horse for the streets. He had so much more going on inside of him than his thug life image would suggest. He was actually a very intelligent and sensitive person with a lot of different talents and qualities, that he didn't necessarily

present at all times.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict
Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

The Marathon Don't Stop: The Life and Times of Nipsey Hussle

The focus of the book is about a triumph rather than a tragedy.  I want to focus on the message and the movement and the, marathon, rather than this atrocity that took place.

Myrna – I want to talk about, hip-hop, because I had to do some research for this interview to understand what it really is.  I know that you're intimately connected with, hip hop, and rapping is a little different from, hip-hop, but why has, hip-hop, become this lifestyle and culture of the young generation?  It’s not even a race thing, because it covers all races.

Rob – We're actually coming up on the 50th anniversary of what is considered the birth of, hip-hop. Hip Hop, started in the Bronx.  It was never about negative forces, but a way to escape the struggles of life in the Bronx. The Bronx was an urban wasteland and, hip-hop, grew and evolved into a multi-billion dollar industry.

It affects every aspect of pop culture from fashion to language to politics. Everything now is influenced by, hip-hop.  Quincy Jones who founded, Vibe magazine, understood the bebop generation as the coolest thing that ever-hit music. He saw, hip-hop, artists in their earliest stages of the development of that culture and he recognized a kindred spirit there.

The Origin of Hip Hop

Hip Hop, has become multi-racial and multicultural, in the early days in the Bronx it's important to remember there were all kinds of kids involved. Puerto Rican, Dominican kids dancing, break dancing, painting graffiti.  Hip hop, is a lifestyle it's not just rap music, which is one aspect of it the DJ and the MC.

There are multiple aspects to, hip hop, it's become the most powerful and popular form of entertainment in the world.

 

Conclusion

Myrna – Tell our listeners how they can get pick up a copy of your book The Marathon Don't Stop: The Life and Times of Nipsey Hussle. Also tell us about Vibe, I know it started off as a magazine, what do you guys do now?

Rob – Well, Vibe, was founded by Quincy Jones back in 1992.  I joined the startup staff in 93, Quincy had a good idea that we should do this and so I ended up working at, Vibe, for 17 years.  I was the only editor who started from the startup staff and stayed all the way until the very last day when you know the magazine had to be shut down.

Quincy had moved on and the ownership had changed hands, it's a long story, but the bank basically repossessed the investment.  The website www.vibe.com is the digital version of, Vibe.  It's a very important publication and became the definitive publication for, hip-hop, culture in terms of excellent photography and excellent journalism.

We had some of the most talented writers and photographers of this generation working at the Magazine.  Vive.com  has gone on because it needs to go on.  It still holds up a standard of excellence in terms of discussing all the aspects of, hip-hop, culture and lifestyle.

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Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts

Additional Resources

How to Rewrite Your Life Story and Achieve Organizational Wellness