Today on WDJY 99.1 FM straight talk radio our topic is “How does Infidelity affect Intimacy and Desire for our Partner ”
We all Desire to be in loving fulfilling relationships with our Partners, our children, our friends and co-workers. We desire to have successful careers, some of us desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy, and today we are going to touch on our desire for our partners to be faithful to their commitment to us.
But what happens when they don’t? Statistics show that as much of 70% of men and women cheat on their spouses and committed partners.
My co -host for this episode is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste Intimacy Coach and, I am a Mindset Coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “How does Infidelity affect Intimacy and Desire for our partner”
What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.
The dictionary calls Alchemy a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination.
I will tell you from personal experience that there is nothing that transforms an intimate relationship into something magical, like the surety that your partner will not break his vows or commitment to you, that he or she loves you unconditionally and would not look at another.
Not too many of us can walk in that space, being able to swear that our partners would not cheat on us.
UK Artist Ben Newman brings a different kind of taste to satirical art. This is sultry and saucy at the same time.
His boldness in combining sexy female characters with robots present in the fantasy world is amazing with an intense desire for intimacy.
1. Question 1: Margo as an intimacy coach, how has your clients dealt with infidelity?
2. How have you dealt with infidelity?
3. What happens when Desire goes looking somewhere else?
History will show that men don’t need a reason to cheat on their partner. But for this discussion we will look at the Lack of Desire for the reason for the infidelity.
What can we do when desire dries up and we no longer feel the spark for our partners?
Men like uncertainty, they like variety. Most men who cheat don’t want to leave home. They love their spouse and like the security of home but they seek adventure.
I was just reading the unauthorized biography of Angelina Jolie. Her father John Voight was tempted by great sex and cheated on her mother who promptly left him when Angelina was 6 months old. John Voight had no interest in leaving his wife and 2 kids but the lure of exciting sex was something he could not pass up. That dalliance had far reaching consequences for his children and himself. He would be seeking a family for decades to come.
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But men don’t have to go outside the home for exciting sex. As women we could bring the excitement and adventure to our bedroom. We could bring the feeling of having an affair to our bedroom.
Whatever you are doing now, we could do something different. If you always make love with all your clothes on, in the bed with the lights out; then start making love on the couch, fully clothed, with all the lights on!
Become the mistress. Meet in a hotel, set up dates, role play and dress up, send sexually explicit text messages.
I remember a friend of mine who divorced her husband because she found a video his mistress sent to him. That is how the women are stealing our men, they excite them.
Okay, enough of the men having unmet needs and looking for excitement in the bedroom. What about our unmet needs?
Women have unmet need as well and are catching up to men as they too are looking outside the home for fulfillment of their desires.
Question 5: Margo, how can women communicate their unmet desires to their partners?
Question 6: How do we as women deal with the betrayal of our spouse or partners?
There are several schools of thought about this topic.
1. If you want things to change, you have to change.
Maybe you are a nag, maybe you don’t like sex, maybe you take no pride in your appearance, maybe you have trust issues, maybe you are boring.
You have to know yourself to grow yourself.
2. Ask yourself what have I invested into this relationship? Are you a taker or do you contribute to the peace and happiness of your man?
I remember Jennifer Gardner saying when asked that it was not Ben Afflec role to make her happy. He cheated on her with the nanny. She was taking stock in what she brought to the table and understood it was not someone’s else role to make her happy. Happiness comes from our true self.
You can’t give away what you don’t have.
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The Alchemy of Desire is the magical process of the transformation of your desires to reality. This transformation happens faster if we empower it with Attention. In this episode we are going to teach you how to use the, Power of Attention, to manifest all your dreams and desires.
What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! I love this sentence! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.
We Desire for our partners physically and spiritually, we desire our careers, we desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy but most of all we desire to fulfill our purpose on this earth and leave it a better place then we found it.
In our first blog on this topic, we talked about how to manifest the Desires of your Heart. The first step is knowing what you want. The second step is adding emotions to it.
In our second blog post on the Alchemy of Desire, we talked on how to use the, Energy of Desire, to create something magical. If you missed those 2 episodes, please listen to then my iTunes podcast.
Today we want to turn up the heat and talk about the “Power of Attention”
• Now that we know what we want.
• We know how to use the energy of emotion to engage the laws of attraction.
• Now, we want to light our desire afire with the “Power of Attention.”
You remember as a kid you would hold a magnet over a piece of paper and have the Attention of the sun light the paper afire, that is what the, Power of Attention, can do to your Desires.
So, lets dive right in.
My co-host on this episode Margo Blake, an Intimacy coach with One Taste.
Tune in to Sticher to listen to Margo tell her personal story of using, The Power of Attention, after her divorce to attract her now soulmate.
The word desire does not only belong with, sexual desires. As a Mindset Coach, today I want to show you how the energy or, Power of Attention, can transform your Desires into something magical as promised by the Alchemy of Desire.
The power of Attention
Attention is your power source. Rarely does a quality life just show up by chance. What you give your attention to expands.
If you want your dream to come through, you have to do more than dream. You must focus your attention and activate the power of Attention.
The power source for having an Intention that comes through is Attention. What you pay Attention to will grow.
If your intention comes from the level of your true self, it can attract anything. Attention activates the energy of Attraction.
Every wish or desire is like a tiny seed that contains the blueprint for the tree that manifests from the seed. The seed of Desire which is also the seed of any Intention needs nourishment to grow.
If you want your desire to manifest here are some important ways to put the right attention on it:
1. Have a clear intention or goal; don’t muddy it with doubt and fear regarding why it won’t come true.
2. Have positive emotions around your desire, feel how good it will be to fulfill it.
3. Believe that what you want is beneficial to you without any negative consequences to those around you.
4. Be prepared for any response the Universe brings and be flexible to where you go from there.
5. Feel confident that hidden sources will come to your aide once your desires are released to the universe.
6. Find time to meditate on your desires. At the level of the soul, the energy of attraction is most powerful.
Margo, how can someone use the Power of Attention to change someone’s feelings about them?
I have known lot of men who are able to woo women by paying them attention. I have been on the receiving end of attention that changed my feelings for a partner a few times in my life. My Pastor once said that women are responders, I agree.
Tune in to Google Play to listen to Margo’s answer to this question.
In our last 2 episodes we talked about 4 of the ways renowned sexologist Jaiya believes that we are wired. We discussed the Energetic, the Sensual, the Sexual and the Kinky. Jaiya is the author of Red Hot Touch? Today I though we could look at the Shape Shifter who can be all those energies.
Here are the 5 Sexual Blueprints.
6. Energetic: Turned on by space, tease and anticipation.
7. Sensual: Turned on by comfort, relaxation and all the senses ignited.
8. Sexual: Turned on by nudity and flat out sexual intercourse.
9. Kinky: Turned on by the taboo and power play.
10. Shapeshifter: Turned on by all of the above.
So, Margo, since today we are looking at The Power of Attention, how can a woman who is a Shape Shifter use the Power of Attention to create something magical in the bedroom?
This episode of the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast is being brought to you by Hypnosis Everywhere and M-I-X- A-M-O-R-E.
Today we talked about, The Power of Attention, and to use this energy to create transformation in your lives.
I want to leave you with this thought. When all three legs of the tripod are in place – Focused Attention, Flexible consciousness and pure awareness; the path is open. You become the conscious master, the Energy of Attraction, is activated.
There are certain things that hinder the manifestation of Desire. Severe obstacles such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, substance abuse and toxic relationships block the manifestation of your desires. It gets tangled up in personal problems.
So be sure to meditate on your desires and rid yourself of toxicity either from substance abuse or toxic relationships.
If you found this episode inspirational or you learned anything, Please subscribe to my Itunes podcast and rate and review this Episode, so we can be encouraged to bring you more episodes every week.
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Today on Mindset Transformation Radio and podcast, we are continuing with our series on the Alchemy of Desire. How to transform the Energy of Desire to Create Something Magical inside and outside of the Bedroom.
My co -host for this series is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste intimacy coach. And of course I am a Mindset coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “the Alchemy of Desire”
What is Desire? – Desire can be called the Feminine face of God! I love this sentence! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.
We Desire for our partners physically and spiritually, we desire our careers, we desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy.
Let me share with you the meaning of Alchemy.
The dictionary calls Alchemy a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination. That includes.
“finding the person who’s right for you requires a very subtle alchemy”
The Alchemy of Desire by Tarun J. Tejpal
In his book Mr Tajpal tells the story of a young couple, penniless but gloriously in love. Obsessed with each other, they move from a small town to the big city, where the man, who dreams of being a writer, works feverishly on a novel, stopping only to feed his ceaseless desire for his beautiful wife.
This book offers, in searing, lucid prose, a deeply sensual and moving meditation on the nature of desire, history, truth, and art.
One Taste Coaching program called the Alchemy of Desire teaches Tantra, and how to use erotica to transform your desires into something magical. My co-host Margo Blake is an intimacy coach who works with couples to achieve their desires.
The word desire does not only belong with sexual desires. As a Mindset Coach, I want to coach you on how the Energy of Desire can transform your life. I want to teach you how you can harness desire to create and transform your world. The Alchemy of Desire.
Behind every desire is the need to feel good! On our last episode of the, Mindset Transformation radio show, I asked you to feel your desires and bring them into the present moment with emotion. I am sure that when you think of your desires you feel good, otherwise you would be called a sadist! Everything you desire is because you think it will bring you some form of pleasure. I will also hazard a guess that your desires is for some form of experience.
Here are 7 major positive emotions and Desire heads up the list.
The seven positive emotions are:
Here is the process that starts with desire. You desire something, then you package it with positive emotion. Thoughts are energy travelling at a high rate of vibration. Thoughts that have been modified or stepped up by any of the major positive emotions vibrate at a much higher rate than ordinary thought.
Then you auto suggest this desire to your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is the sending station of the brain in which vibrations of thought are broadcasted. The creative imagination is the receiving center.
Your creative imagination picks this message up and desire is formed. I was watching television documentary a few months back. They were talking about marriage and the difference between men and women as far as their desires for their wedding day. They said that every 7 year old girl has already visualized her wedding day. She has imagined the groom, what she will be wearing, what her bridesmaids will be wearing etc. While the boys only visualize the girl.
So, if we follow this path. The 7 year old desires to be married. She imagines how great she would feel walking down the aisle in her beautiful white gown looking her most beautiful. The man at the alter looks lovingly at her and looks like her idol. She has imagined the entire wedding and her entire life after. The great thing about this desire is that if she continues to dream every day and infuse her desire with positive emotion, her dreams will come true.
We must marry thought and emotion to give us the ability to have the things we want. That is how we create the Alchemy of Desire
Margo, give us an example of how the energy of sexual desire for your partner can transform the relationship and create something special?
The first thing is that you have to figure out what you want.
Then you have to ask your partner to give you what you want.
Then you must be present to receive it.
After you get what your want and your desires are met then you must be grateful and play it forward.
Now it is your turn to meet the desires of your partner and repeat the cycle.
In our last episode we talked about 2 of the ways renowned sexologist Jaiya believes that we are wired. We discussed the Energetic and the Sensual. Jaiya is the author of Red Hot Touch ? Today I though we could look at the Sexual and the Kinky.
To review, here are the 5 sexual blueprints.
11. Energetic: Turned on by space, tease and anticipation.
12. Sensual: Turned on by comfort, relaxation and all the senses ignited.
13. Sexual: Turned on by nudity and flat out sexual intercourse.
14. Kinky: Turned on by the taboo and power play.
15. Shapeshifter: Turned on by all of the above.
So Margo, since today we are looking at how to transform the energy of desire into creating something magical. How can a sexually wired person maybe transform into a sensual person and incorporate some romance into the bedroom?
How can a Kinky person who feels that her desires are taboo communicate and transform the energy in the bedroom?
(Tune in to listen to Margo’s answer)
Today we talked about the energy of desire and how you can harness this energy to create transformation in your lives.
I want to leave you with this thought. I want you to remember that your soul records every moment, every conversation, every dream, every desire. Every desire that reaches our brain is recorded in our subconscious. If you are hypnotized, the hypnotist can take you back to the womb.
Last week Margo told us that we can feel a true desire in our body. A desire is true when our bodies communicate it to us and not just our minds. Use that nervous energy or the enthusiasm, or the feelings of love to transform and create something magical!
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I would love to hear your desire? Speak it into the atmosphere and give it form. You can comment on this blog or email it to me @ email@example.com
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As Millennials graduate from high school, graduate from college, or get engaged to be married, A formula on How to Set Strong Goals should be prominent their minds.
In each stage of life, we should have short term goals and long-term goals. Short term goal are goals you would like to achieve within the year and long-term goals are goals you would like to achieve in let’s say 10 years.
So if we were to pick up goals at a Millennial graduation from College, her short term goals would probably be either get a job and start supporting herself or enroll in higher education.
How to Set Strong Goals like a Champion: Tom Brady
Tom Brady says, The key to success lies in setting goals and taking massive action towards the attainment of these goals.
A hundred years of psychological research has taught us that setting strong goals matter, if you want to improve your chances of succeeding.
A goal is a map to your destination. It is like a seed!
Plant strong goals in your mind and it will be the most important decision you make in your life.
Then Care of your planted seed every day.
Tom Brady’s story.
By the mid-2000s Tom Brady was the undisputed king of the gridiron. In 2002 he became the youngest quarterback in the history of the National Football League (NFL) to lead his team to a Super Bowl victory. Two years later, in 2004, he proved the magic was still strong when he led the New England Patriots to their second Super Bowl title in three years. In addition, Brady was named the Super Bowl’s Most Valuable Player (MVP) in 2002 and 2004. The dimpled, clean-cut quarterback had reached career heights that most veteran football players envied, and he had done it all before he was thirty years old; But HE ONCE HAD SIMPLE DREAMS
In the pride-swallowing days at the University of Michigan, when he was constantly trying to prove that he deserved to start, Brady used to sit up at night with his good friend Aaron Shea and talk about what they’d do when they made it big.
Shea, a tight end for the Wolverines, used to rattle off the typical 20-year-old dream purchases. He wanted a Hummer and a Ferrari. Then Shea would ask what Brady wanted.
“‘If I hit it real big,'” Shea recalls Brady telling him, “‘I want to be able to wake up, put a pair of socks on, and at the end of the day, I throw ’em away.’
“I’m like, ‘That’s all you want?’ And he goes, ‘Yeah, that’s what I want. I love new socks!'”
But somewhere along the line, he got big dreams. Dreams of being the best!
Brady was so intent on winning and becoming the very best in history to play his position, that after the Patriot’s lost to the Broncos in the AFC championship game in 2016, he had a countdown clock installed in his home gym. I am sure because he wanted to be the undisputed champion and Peyton Manning had won, this round! Competition bring out the best in us.
Throughout the year the countdown clock served as his constant reminder of his goal. A countdown clock says to his subconscious mind. I will achieve this goal, it is mine, it’s just a matter of time so I am counting down!
The world was the witness at Super Bowl 51 of Tom Brady manifesting of this goal. Down by 25 points at the half, Tom Brady and the New England Patriots came back to win the game in overtime making Brady the best ever at the game!
With his mother in attendance at the NRG Stadium in Houston and millions of fans watching, Brady did not disappoint. In a thrilling game, the first that went into overtime in NFL history, Brady led the Patriots to a 34-28 victory over the Atlanta Falcons. With this historic win, Brady became the first quarterback in NFL history to take home five Super Bowl rings. He surpassed quarterbacks Joe Montana, one of his idols, and Terry Bradshaw, who both have four Super Bowl wins. He also was awarded his fourth Super Bowl MVP for leading a 25-point comeback and throwing a Super Bowl-record 466 passing yards. Super Bowl LI was Brady’s seventh championship, which is also an NFL record for the most Super Bowls played.
Brady failed in his bid to become the best and most decorated quarterback in history when he lost to the Eagles in Super bowl 52; but how many of you know that failure is not final. Brady will be back again and this time he will succeed because when you have a goal and you don’t give up on it, you always win that is why Coach Lombardi advise is “Never, Never give up, Never ever Quit because Quitters never win”
I am sure there will be another count down clock installed in Brady’s locker room for super bowl 53! I am routing for you Tom!
Goals they have a powerful supernatural energy attached to them!
They activate the subconscious to go to work for you.
Those who have no central purpose or goals in their life fall an easy prey to petty worries, fears, troubles, and self-pityings, all of which are indications of weakness, which lead, just as surely as deliberately planned sins, to failure, unhappiness, and loss, for weakness cannot persist in a power evolving universe.
A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose or goal in his heart, and set out to accomplish it. He should make this goal the centralizing point of his thoughts. It may take the form of a spiritual ideal, or it may be a worldly object, according to his nature at the time being; but whichever it is, he should steadily focus his thought-forces upon the object, which he has set before him. He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and should devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings. This is the royal road to self-control and true concentration of thought. Even if he fails again and again to accomplish his goal, the strength of character gained will be the measure of his true success, and this will form a new starting-point for future power and triumph.
What this means is if your only goal as you are starting out in life is to get a job with no thought to what God has placed you on this earth to do, then you will become like a garden full of weeds and wild flowers. Since no one is tending the garden then anything will grow. This leads to failure, unhappiness and loss.
On the other hand if you set goals either for spiritual attainment, personal accomplishment, or for contribution even when you fail and you will, you will be like Tom Brady and know that given time, success will be yours.
Having conceived of his purpose, a man should mentally mark out a straight pathway to its achievement, looking neither to the right nor the left. Doubts and fears should be rigorously excluded; they are disintegrating elements, which break up the straight line of effort, rendering it crooked, ineffectual, useless. Thoughts of doubt and fear never accomplished anything, and never can. They always lead to failure. Purpose, energy, power to do, and all strong thoughts cease when doubt and fear creep in.
My daughter sent me a text message last week and said mom you have to listen to this. This is important. So, I dropped everything and listened! I was blown away. Oprah was interviewing >Amy Purdy.
This is her story:
After losing both her legs at age 19 as a result of bacterial meningitis, Amy Purdy survived to lead a life of extraordinary accomplishments. Amy not only survived losing her legs but at one time all her organs were failing, and she actually died. She tells that when she died, two spirits on the other side offered her a choice of staying dead or coming back to life and she shouted No, I don’t want to die!! She chose life the same way she chose not to be a disabled person who lives an uninspiring life. She chose to set the goal of snowboarding again. She tells the story of how she visualized in detail her achieving this goal. Amy is a Paralympic bronze medalist in snowboarding, and a finalist on “Dancing with the Stars”. Pick up a copy of her book “On My Own Two Feet: From Losing My Legs to Learning the Dance of Life.” To read about her incredible story
So today, I would like to teach you How to set strong goals. Goals that make you want to get up in the morning. Goals that motivate and inspire you to action.
Do you have a goal to write a book? Is there a testimony that God has purposed you to share?
Click the link below to get Brian Tracy’s 6-Step Book Planning Worksheet,
This simple guide will help writers determine the subject of their book and how to clarify their message, while offering helpful tips on how to gather and organize information. This easy-to-follow planning worksheet will also explain how to tell a story in a logical and captivating manner and how to efficiently outline an entire book, chapter by chapter.
How to Set Strong Goals Step # 1 Start with a road-map
He who doesn’t have a map gets lost.
If you don’t know where you are going, then it doesn’t matter where you end up.
Begin with the end in mind e.g.
• I want to have $500,000 in my bank account at the age of 65, so as not to be a burden to my kids.
• I want to leave a legacy and an inheritance for my children and my children’s children.
• I want to have 3 children, a husband, a good job and own my own home by the time I am 35 years old.
• Tom Brady goal is becoming the best at the sport
• Amy’s goal was to continue doing the things she did with legs and then inspire others along the way.
Knowing where you are going allows you to map the route to your destination.
The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind, whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts, the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty.
How To Set Strong Goals Step 2: Know Your Why?
What was Tom Brady’s Why?
What was Amy’s why?
He who has conquered doubt and fear has conquered failure. His every thought is allied with power, and all difficulties are bravely met and wisely overcome. His purposes are seasonably planted, and they bloom and bring forth fruit, which does not fall prematurely to the ground.
Why do you want to have $500,000 in your bank account at 65?
• Do you want to travel the world?
• Do you want to be sure you have enough income to last for 30 years after retirement? So as not to depend on your kids or the government to take care of you?
Knowing your why will get you through the tough times.
Characteristics of a Strong Goal: A goal must have 3 characteristics:
It must be specific – $500,000
It must have a date for completion – 65 years old
It must be realistic and achievable – A goal can be just a dream with a date on it
How to Set Strong Goals Step 3: Plan your route
So, you want to have $500,000 in the bank at 65 years old.
If you are 30 years old now and have $10,000 in the bank, what would your route to get you $490,000 in the bank in 35 years?
What kind of investment strategies can get you there?
If you plan to work and get a paycheck then that goal will not realistic or achievable.
There are investment strategies that can get you there.
Buying and selling real estate can get you there.
Speak with a financial planner to put together an investment strategy that will get you to your goal.
How to Set Strong Goal Step 4: Measure your progress
If you have a 35-year plan to make $490,000.
You should measure your progress on a yearly basis.
At the end of year one, you should be $14,000 richer by year two $28,000 richer than year one and so on and so on.
If by your 40th year, you have made no progress, then you should take a hard look at your financial situation and make some changes.
You have to make changes to the route.
Are you still working and trying to save? We know that is not going to work.
You may have to use Leverage.
Borrow to invest. Get your credit score in shape and borrow to invest in Real Estate. I was listening to the audio book “Self Made” last week and the author said don’t buy shoes, buy buildings! Great advice.
What you shouldn’t do is worry that you would be broke and penniless at 65 years old and have to be placed in a nursing home. I know where your mind goes when you think of yourself as a failure.
Disease and health, like circumstances, are rooted in thought. Sickly thoughts will express themselves through a sickly body. Thoughts of fear have been known to kill a man as speedily as a bullet, and they are continually killing thousands of people just as surely though less rapidly. The people who live in fear of disease are the people who get it. Anxiety quickly demoralizes the whole body, and lays it open to the entrance of disease; while impure thoughts, even if not physically indulged, will soon shatter the nervous system.
How to Set Strong Goal Step 5: Be prepared for the twists and turns in the road
What skills do you need to acquire to achieve this goal?
What contacts do you need?
What additional knowledge do you need?
What resources do you need to accomplish this goal?
Remember that just because you set a goal and a destination don’t expect the weather will cooperate and the sky will be sunny for the entire trip.
No. Expect that there will be circumstances beyond your control that will delay you so build in a buffer. Add a few years to your deadline.
In the 30 years to your goal, you will experience set backs. A job loss, a divorce, health issues etc. Don’t let the twists and turns in the road, derail you from your goals.
I heard a story of a mother of two who was laid off and without income. She decided to start selling the things in her home on eBay to pay the bills. She then started a meet up group for other eBay sellers to learn the business. She got information for sourcing discount items from wholesalers to sell on eBay. Obviously, her household items could only get her so far!
At one of these meetup meetings she met an executive from eBay who encouraged her to become a certified ambassador for eBay. That 10Xd her business. Today she has income of over one million dollars annually from eBay sales.
The lesson, setbacks can push you in the direction of your purpose; so change the way you look at failure.
Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, with the Law of his being. The sole and supreme use of suffering is to purify, to burn out all that is useless and impure. Suffering ceases for him who is pure. There could be no object in burning gold after the dross had been removed, and a perfectly pure and enlightened being could not suffer.
How to Set Strong Goal Step 6: Seeing your path
Use your imagination to visualize the things you want to accomplish
Visualize in color with all the details!
At 65 years old, what will you look like?
What color would be your hair, what are you wearing?
Where will you be living?
Who will be the partner by your side?
What will the house sound like when the grand children come to visit and run and play all over the house?
What countries will you travel to? How long will you stay?
See with your mind’s eye the entire life you want.
See it, touch it, taste it for 15 mins every day.
If you are a visual person you can use a picture to represent your dream and look at it every day.
Only by much searching and mining, are gold and diamonds obtained, and man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mine of his soul; and that he is the maker of his character, the molder of his life, and the builder of his destiny.
So, live your life on purpose. Set goals for achievement, for contribution for fun and play and then go do it!
How do you define success? Do you define success by your bank account? Your tittle or by how purpose driven you are in life? Tune in for a panel discussion from successful executives on how they define success.
My panel guests are
William Howell – Marketing Executive with iMarkets Live
Darrell Sirmon – Marketing Executive with iMarkets Live
Joe Johnson – Entertainment Manager and CEO of CAMP5 Entertainment and sports
BiM Mathis – Recording Artist under CAMP5 label
Make your life extraordinary with Tony Robbins Personal Achievement products
Turn your dreams into reality
Question 1: How do you define success?
As successful musicians, would you define success by how far you have come in your career or do you feel that success has to do with how happy we are?
Joe: I define success as the simple act of making a goal and working towards it.
I believe that we should make both short term goals and long term goals i.e make 6 month goals so we can check them off as we achieve them and longer term goals like 5 to 10 years.
Are you living your life with passion?
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William – I define success as “Not Quitting”
I believe that we have to persevere to accomplish our goals and success to me is being knocked down and getting back up.
Darrell – I define success as a legacy.
I believe that we have to leave legacy for our children and families.
Question 2: How have you used failure to fuel your success?
Can you tell the audience of some of your most profound failures and how it lead to your ultimate success?
William – We should use failures to help us grow and to learn from our mistakes.
Also I have developed the personal mantra that says that
No means Not Now!
So I have become successful by just getting the No’s out of the way to get to the Yes
I also believe that the acronym POOR means Pass Over Opportunity so I always look for opportunities in my failures.
Darrell – Failure makes us stronger.
For me failure is never an option.
My acronym is JOB Just Over Broke
Because if you have a job and working for the man, you will always be Just Over Broke!
BIM – When you fall you get back up, you never stay down.
Joe – I won’t lie, failure makes you want to quit!
When your kids are hungry and they are looking at you with eyes that say we are hungry
It does make you want to quit but you always have to remember your WHY.
If you don’t know your WHY, then you will fail because you will not have the strength to persevere and stay the course.
Question 3: As you know success is a mindset. What are some of your beliefs that allowed you to succeed?
Joe – My belief is what you get out what you put in!
And Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
BIM – Pray! I am always on my knees praying
Darrell – I believe in a higher power
William – I believe Why Not Me?
Why can’t I be a successful Entrepreneur?
I believe that God put us on this earth to live more abundantly and not just to survive.
Question 4: What advise would you give to our listeners including our female listeners on what it takes to succeed?
There has been a lot of attention lately on women having to endure male advances and harassment to succeed. How do you feel this can be prevented?
William – Women have to believe that they are smarter than men because they are and as such they should not have to give up their morals to get ahead.
They have to believe that they have equal rights as much as men to the positions they aspire to be in.
So, How do you define your success?
Leave a comment below and start the conversation.
As we enter into 2018, what are your success goals for 2018?
Where did you miss the mark in 2017?
Do a year in review.
Did you let circumstances get the way of your perseverance?
Or did you achieve all your goals for 2017.
If you did not, maybe this would be the time to invest in yourself and hire a Life Coach.
Did you suffer from Childhood sexual abuse or sexual harassment as an adult? Today on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast, I share my journey from being sexually abused as a child and how I used that experience to elevate my life. I teach how you too can use the winds from the storms of life to elevate your life to greater heights.
In this episode, we will study the Eagle and how the Eagle looks forward to the storm because the eagle knows that only by using the winds of the storm can she elevate to greater heights. Without the storm, she can never fly above the clouds. Familiarly, in life we need challenges, hurts and disappointments to get us out of our comfort zones and stretch us. Without the storms of life we would become complacent.
The crow that picks and picks at the ground, can’t rise to the heights of the eagle or is not conditioned to rise about the ground. It’s mindset is to stay on the ground and peck for food.
The Eagle does not escape the storm. It simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm.
When the storms of life come upon us — and all of us will experience them — we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God or we can be like the crow and peck and peck on the ground.
The storms do not have to overcome us. We can allow God’s power to lift us above them. God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the storm.
We can learn how to do this from the Eagle.
1. Eagles fly alone at high altitude and not with sparrows or with other small birds. No other bird can go to the height of the Eagle.
2. Eagles have strong vision. They have the ability to focus on something up to five kilometers away. When an Eagle sites his prey, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it. No matter the obstacle, the Eagle will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it.
3. Eagles love the storm. When clouds gather, the Eagle get excited. The Eagle uses the storm’s winds to lift it higher. Once it finds the wind of the storm, the Eagle uses the raging storm to lift him above the clouds. This gives the Eagle an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the leaves and branches of the trees. We can use the storms of life to rise to greater heights. Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.
I meditated on the reason for the hurricanes that caused so much destruction to homes and property in the Caribbean islands, Houston, TX and Florida. I believe that God does not make mistakes that everything in the Universe has a purpose. So, I asked myself what is the purpose of Hurricanes?
My initial response from the Universe was that storms are created with the purpose to blow down the old and make room for the new because everything is recycled on this earth. But I felt there was more so that is why I decided to study the Eagle. As mentioned before. The Eagle uses the storm to elevate him higher. He can’t fly to great heights without the winds of the storm.
What if God created the storm to do the same for his people?
The storm does not only blow down old trees, it blows down old houses as well, it blows down old power posts and power lines. So, in actuality we should be like the eagle and anxiously await the storm to see what old thing will be renewed.
It works for old relationships as well. There is something immensely intimate about riding out the storm with your loved one. Just you and your close family members. All the attention is on each other. No television, no lights just the personal connection and candle light!
I have always loved storms. I remember the first storm that me and my husband rode out together. We were only dating for about 3 months. I loved the rain on the roof, the sounds of the winds rustling the roof, the sight of the palm trees blowing in the winds and being wrapped up in his arms. I think we came out of that experience closer than we went in. That is a time to really talk and share! Get to know each other.
The other thing the storm brings is new things to replace the old. If you had an old roof and the wind blew if off, guess what FEMA will give you a new one. If your pool screens were old and the wind just ripped them apart more then guess what you get new screens at no cost to you. If your old car was on its last leg, then you could park it under a tree and pray the tree falls on it! You get my point. How you experience anything depends on how you interpret it. Change your mindset that the storm comes to take from you and replace it with the winds of the storm brings change. Changing out the old for the new.
But I still think there is more!
The bible teaches us to keep our eyes on Jesus when we are in the storm.
There was a time when Jesus had sent his disciples to go on before him while he stayed in the mountain to pray (Matthew 14:23).
While they were in the boat there came a storm “and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.”- Matthew 14:24
Seeing the distress his disciples were in Jesus went to them, walking on water. When Peter saw Jesus he asked him to allow him to come to him, by walking on the water. Peter started to walk on with his faith, however, when Peter reached at a certain distance he got distracted, and when he got distracted by the boisterous wind he became afraid and started to sink.
“But when [Peter] saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” (Matthew 14:30 NIV)
Many of us are like Peter, we started our journey with the Lord and even though the trials of life come, our faith allows us to overcome these trials, you could say to ‘walk on water’. But along the way we get distracted especially when we think the situation has gone on for too long, or we come upon big storm. I am using the storm here as a metaphor for trouble. It was easy to trust God when our trials were little, but what happens when the situations seem bigger than we are able to handle? What happens when we have a category 4 storm? Do we let fear in? Or do we anticipate it with the mindset that it will elevate us to new heights?
Focusing on what’s happening around us will cause us to be afraid; afraid of losing our family, losing our jobs, our homes, or being broke and not having enough to take care of our needs. We start worrying about what is going to happen next and very soon we start to sink.
The storms also bring with it floods. The water could be more dangerous than the winds.
With Irma, I was going to ride out the storm in my home because my house is built to withstand the winds but as soon as they started talking about 10-15 ft. storm surges. I called my husband and said we are leaving now! I was afraid of my car being under water and I pictured me on the roof waiting to be rescued. So, I understand fear!
Joel Osteen had a message about flood waters he used the analogy of your water breaking during childbirth. That flood there signals new birth as is regarded with excitement. He also reminded us that we never know when that flood is going come. His wife Victoria water broke when she was in an elevator going somewhere that was not the hospital! It is all about perception. Ask yourself what is the good that can come out of the house and car being flooded? You get new ones of course ! Usually the insurance pays!
Sometimes you just have to Eat That Frog!
Stop Procrastinating and learn to fly!
Click the link below to learn from Best Selling author Brian Tracy
Here are five things God wants you to do if you feel like you’re sinking in a storm.
1. Keep your eyes on Jesus and stay focus.
The moment you take your eyes off the Lord, you will go under. When you focus on the wind and the waves — your circumstances — you’re going to sink, just like Peter. There will be many things happening in the world to get you distracted. Economies going under, crime and violence on the rise, people losing their jobs, accidents on the rise and so forth. These things will get you distress. Jesus tells us that when we see these things happening, that is not the time to get sidetracked, but it is the time to look up (Luke 21:28.
2. Do not be fearful, Jesus is with you in the storm.
When you’re in a storm, it is very easy to become fearful, fearful that you will not get rid of a sickness, fearful that your #marriage will end, fearful that your child will die, fearful that you will not be able to pay off your debts or bills and still have enough money to survive. But when fear comes, and it will come, take authority over it and stand on the promises of God that he will always be with you. Fear comes with torment and that’s why Jesus gives us peace (John 14:27). Peace that will help you to ride out your storms.
3. Don’t let go of faith.
Faith is like our heavenly currency that we use to draw what we need from the spiritual realm. When you maintain your faith you will receive strength to weather the storms of life.
4. Don’t doubt.
You don’t need great faith to make it through the storm in your life. You just need faith in the right person, that is Jesus. Peter started to sink when he started to doubt.
Maybe you could benefit from a Training Kit that teaches you how to Maximize your achievement and Fly above the storms. Click below to order The Maximum Achievement Training Kit from best selling author Brian Tracy.
5. Praise God.
Praise is a weapon, a very powerful one. It confuses the enemy as he cannot understand how you able facing your storms but will have a praise. When Jehoshaphat was facing a large army, he did not use swords to fight his battle, he just praised God and his enemies were totally destroyed. Even in the storm, even when you feel like you’re sinking, even when you’re scared to death — praise him all the time.
Are you lifted by your purpose? This week on Mindset Transformation Radio and Podcast, I interview Ms Arifah Yusuf who is not only lifted by her purpose but founded a company called Lifted By Purpose where she helps youths in Toronto, Canada to become lifted by their purpose.
As Arifah was working with the youth she noticed their tattoos and decided to have a spin off company called Tattoo Stories. She used the tattoos stories to help her clients share their stories through the images they permanently put on their bodies.
That brought me to my tip of the week: How we perceive images can link us to our purpose.
How you react to an image can tell you a lot about you, including your life’s purpose.
Art speaks to us because it’s about us. It’s about our collective and individual journeys in this wondrous, immeasurable universe. As Chuck Klosterman said, “Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.”
Images stir up numerous emotions in the beholder: awe, shock, sorrow, rage, and even repulsion. You may feel an intense, nameable emotion within seconds of seeing an image, or it could take several minutes of staring at the image before you can decide what it means to you. And as art is as diverse as the people who create and perceive it, the responses to it naturally vary. Art can play a crucial role in self-discovery and an individual’s purpose in life.
Click the link below to take your image purpose test and see what it shows is your purpose.
I took this test and my test revealed that my purpose was to spread Happiness. So True.
“Your master purpose in life is to spread happiness. You will always see the optimism in life no matter how dark it may seem. You can distinguish the lightness from the darkness and this is what takes you to another level. With happiness, everything can be cured and your purpose is to spread this feeling in times most needed.”
Here is some more information on my guest:
Arifah Yusuf, is a registered social worker from Ryerson University. She has 12 years experience engaging and developing programs for youth, facilitating workshops and providing counseling services. Ms. Yusuf was nominated and awarded the Community Health Champion Award for her dedication working with youth. In 2015 she received the leadership award from Canadian Alliance of Black Educators and in 2016, the Ontario Leading Women in Community Award.
She is trained and certified by the National Organization for Victims Assistance, Traumatology institute, and is a Mental Health First Aid Instructor. In her role at Lifted By purpose, she is the Founder and Executive Director.
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1. Question 1: Can you tell us your journey as a social worker and how it transitioned into founding Lifted by Purpose?
I grew up a a rough neighborhood in Toronto. As a youth, I had a family member who died from Homicide and that affected me profoundly but I did not have an outlet to grieve so I became very depressed. As i got older, I wanted to become a social worker so I can help other youths who experienced trauma to have a space to talk and get help. Today “Lifted by purpose” provides services to help the youth with coping skills and prepare for a purposeful future.
2. Question 2: You have an offspring from Lifted by purpose called Tattoo stories. Can you tell our audience what that is about and how it bridges the Lifted by purpose mission?
During counselling I started asking my clients to tell me their stories about the permanent tattoos on their bodies.
3. What are some projects and services provided by Lifted by purpose.
At Lifted by Purpose we focus on the arts.
Some of our services are:
Music stress program 10 to 20 weeks
Playlist therapy that identifies tracks that speak to grief or loss
How to have healthy Relationships
How to identify triggers that move them into making bad choices
Identify coping skills
Tattoo stories and what they mean
Question 4: Can you share with our audience one of the most compelling of your tattoo stories?
Tune in to hear some of the tattoo stories.
Question 5: I see from the information you provided me for the interview that your target audience is young people between the ages of 16 to 29 years who are at risk or already in the justice system. How does your program help these young people?
Our program helps our youth to harness their story
Understand how to utilize their stories to understand themselves.
Reflect on how their stories has influenced their choices in life
How to flip a negative story into something positive
Action steps. Are they ready to make a change
How does their story affect their purpose and lift them up.
Question 6: How does Tattoo stories tie into this?
Helps the youth understand their purpose.
Have a voice that can help others on their journey.
Is the secret to Love, Sex? This week on Mindset Transformation Radio Podcast, I interview Love Coach James Green. James answers the question “Is Sex the most important factor in a relationship? Tune in to find out the answer.
So, let me ask you. What do you think is the most important factor in a relationship? In my research for this interview. I found this article
on the secret to a long marriage. Hint it was not Sex!
Secret to a long Marriage
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. “Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,” explained the man. “We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by pack mule. We hadn’t gone too far when my wife’s mule stumbled. My wife quietly said, ‘That’s once.’ We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, ‘That’s twice.’ Hadn’t gone a half- mile when the mule stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her pocket and shot the mule dead. I started to yell at her for her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said ‘That’s once.”
Lol. Hope you had a good laugh.
But in all seriousness. We have heard the phrase ” A Happy wife a happy life”
Here is another article about a couple married 79 years.
“Just want you to know that you’re still the one I would choose. Still the one I give my heart to, still the one I love.”
So, what’s their secret?
“To support one another, whatever the problems may be, good or bad. Stick together. That’s about it,” Bertha said.
“You know why this lasted 79 years? She has the last word,” Dan added with a smile.
Let me introduce my guest this week:
James is a certified Love and Emotional Intelligence coach. His mission is to teach people how to love themselves as well as love each other. James specialty is Relationship and Personal Development Coaching.
1. Question 1: Tell us of your journey to become a Love and emotional Intelligence coach. Do you have a personal story that made you specialize in this field?
I was a single parent and realized that when looking for a mate, I had to look for someone who would fit into my lifestyle as a single father. The woman had to accept me and my son as a package deal. That made me look at factors other than Sex.
As far as my journey to becoming a Love and Emotional intelligence coach, I found I had the aptitude to reach people. People opened up to me. I remember once standing in the line at McDonald’s and this man in line started talking to me telling me his story. I decided to get my certification as a Life Coach
2. Question 2: How does emotional intelligence fit into the relationship dynamics?
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to hear what your partner is not saying. It is the ability to realize that when your partner says Fine, I am okay with that. for example. She is not fine with that, from her tonality or her body language.
Another facet of emotional intelligence is the ability to keep your cool and not fly off the handle at the slightest provocation.
3. Question 3: What problems do find are the most common and how do you coach your clients to solve them?
I find Trust, Communication and the inability to seek out coaching until after they start experiencing problems.
Couples tend to think that coaching is not needed until there is a huge problem in their relationship and when I hear that I ask them do you also see a doctor AFTER you have Cancer?
4. Question 4: If you had a magic wand to solve common relationship problems, what would you solve?
If I had a magic wand to solve relationship problems, I would solve trust. Lack of trust is one of the most destructive elements in a relationship.
5. Question 5: When you say that relationship is not a 3-letter word, what do you mean?
The topic of our show today “Is the secret to love, Sex?”
Couples would have us believe that great sex keeps the relationship going or strong.
While sex is very important in a relationship it is not the most important factor.
I believe that communication is the most important factor.
Click the podcast link to hear from James directly as he answers this question.
6. Question 6: Why would you say that couples do not proactively seek relationship coaching and wait until there is a problem to get counselling?
Culture, conditioning. Women go to get an annual checkup every year. They get a PAP test to proactively check for any cervical problems. But this same woman would not think of going to a relationship coach to proactively check to see if her relationship is in danger of abnormal growth!
For the men I use the analogy of the oil change because men hate going to the doctor for an annual check up. But they do change their oil every 3 to 5 months. ( I had a laugh at this one. I asked James if he was suggesting men change their wifes, as often as they change the oil in their cars?)
He assured me he was not saying that but letting the men know that just like the car engine their relationships need regular maintenance.
Tony Robbins also has lots of empowerment advice for couples.
Click the link below to understand how to create better relationships from Tony Robbins
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Do you feel that you are called to make a difference in the lives of others?
Do any of these statements sound like you?
• I want to help others and make a difference in the world.
• I want to have a life purpose beyond what I am currently doing.
• I want to be happier, satisfied and fulfilled with my life.
• I want to get unstuck and feel more in control of my life.
• My friends all tell me that I should be a coach!
Becoming a Life coach is both a rewarding career and a financially viable career.
Life coach’s life Tony Robbins make millions of dollars per year.
Top Executive coaches can charge up to $3000 for a 45-min session to coach top CEO’s of major corporations.
As a starting Life coach, here is the statistics of what you can make in the first year of business.
Average coaching salaries according to Sherpa: Executive Coaches make $325 per hour. Business Coaches make $235 per hour. Life Coaches make $160 per hour.
A Life coach is the umbrella that all other coaching fall under.
A top CEO for example is coached on how to be good leader and motivate his managers to excellence but if his personal life is a mess he cannot be effective.
Who you are shows up in all your interactions
As you coach others, you are also coaching yourself.
Here are the steps to becoming a certified Life Coach:
1: Figure out your niche – what are you going to specialize in
For example, would you want to coach on happiness?
The goal of every living person is to find happiness.
As a Happiness Life coach, you could coach your clients on the following:
Defining Happiness – What is Happiness, how is it measured
Benefits and Challenges in finding happiness
Finding happiness through networking and getting to know people. Most of us need others to make us happy.
Worksheets and Workbooks for Your Clients, e.g. to remove old conditioning and beliefs.
You could do an Intro on how You found Your Happiness
Peeling Off the Layers – What is making your clients unhappy
Layer 1: Desire (influences/programming/expectations)
Layer 2: Limiting Beliefs (unconscious/agreements)
Layer 3: Ego and Identity (attachments/roles)
Layer 4: Time (past and future vs. the now)
Layer 5: Patterns and Conditioning (rewiring for joy)
Layer 6: Your Current Mood (emotions)
Certification Completion – You are now ready to go do it!
2: Find a school that teaches the foundation of the coaching business as well as the principles
9 Key Considerations for Choosing the Right Coach Training Program for You
1. What is the training school’s underlying philosophy?
The traditional method of coaching often brings about only incremental and short-lived results. Of course, when you help change a person’s actions, they do get results—but not sustainable results. That’s because the underlying thoughts and emotions that truly drive actions are not addressed. Without changing core thoughts and emotions, individuals eventually revert back to their old habits, routines, and actions.
Find a program that teaches you how to help your clients change the way they think and feel. A program that teaches you how to help clients break through limiting thoughts and emotional responses, and replace them with supportive, empowering beliefs. As a result, clients are moved to take powerful and consistent action.
2. How does the school deliver training?
A very important aspect in choosing the right coach training school is determining which program employs the most effective training and learning techniques for you. There are many ways to deliver coach training: • Live classroom training • Teleclasses • Self-study • Online training • Group work • One-on-one mentor training • Independent projects and more
At the University of Miami Professional Certified training program, they used teleclasses along with weekend in house training. This worked for me.
3. Does the school offer specialized training?
When you specialize, your exact target audience is more receptive to hearing your message clearly. In fact, the most successful coaches will tell you that specialization has been the key to their success. That’s why it’s critical that the training school you choose offers specialty tracks to help you hone your niche and become proficient in the area of coaching in which you are most interested.
Here are some niche coaching specialties:
Life Purpose Coaching • Health and Wellness Coaching • Corporate Coaching • Professional Coaching • Executive Coaching • Relationship Coaching • Transition Coaching • Small Business Coaching . Happiness coaching
4. Does the school provide business development training to help you build your practice?
When comparing coaching schools, it’s crucial to determine how each school addresses the following question: How will I attract clients and earn income as a coach?
The University of Miami coaching program did not address marketing. It is very important in starting to make money as a coach.
Find a program that includes in their curriculum classes to help you build your coaching practice through business development, branding/messaging, and marketing.
5. Is the school an accredited institution? What is its reputation and track record?
The International Coach Federation (ICF), the industry’s governing body that sets the standards, core competencies, and ethics for coaches and training schools alike. Many unaccredited schools have actually been rejected by the ICF accreditation board and some, multiple times. Make sure that the coach training school you’re considering is ICF-accredited, and do not accept any excuses as to why they are not.
If you are going to spend money to get a coaching certification it makes sense to get your certification from an accredited school so you can be accredited as a coach by the International coaching federation. If not, you can just call yourself a coach and get on with it. Lots do. Tony Robbins is making millions as a coach and he does not have certification, just lots of experience!
6. Who are the school’s instructors and what is their background?
One of the things I loved about the University of Miami certificate coaching program is that all the instructors were master certified coaches some have more than 30 years’ experience. Check to see the instructors listed and make sure they have at least a Certified Professional Coaching accreditation. That is what I have.
7. How long will it take to complete the program?
Accredited coach training programs vary in their requirements. Programs range from only 60 hours to more than 300—and from a few weeks long to several years. Most programs that offer ICF certification take a minimum of 6 months to complete, and the vast majority of accredited programs take 12 – 24 months. The University of Miami CPC coaching program was 11 months.
Be sure not to fork over your money for a weekend certificate program. I have seen them out there.
8. Where is the coach training 8 school located?
Most schools offer training online; but since coaching is a practical field, they usually have weekend in class sessions. About 3 of them for a 12-month program. So don’t sign up for a class in the United Kingdom because you will not pass or get your certificate if you cannot attend the in class training.
9. How much does the program cost and what’s included in the price?
Coach training programs vary significantly in price, with unaccredited programs starting as low as $2,000 – $3,000 and accredited programs ranging anywhere from $5,000 – $14,000 or more.
University of Miami CPC training program cost $6,000 plus mentor coaching and the purchase of an ethics book.
Here are some coaching training certificate programs:
I love GoDaddy. You can’t beat their prices and they offer free support in helping you set up.
For $7.00 per month you get.
Free Microsoft Office 365 Business Email – 1st year
Free domain* with annual plan
Site backup & restore (paid option)
2X processing power & memory (Linux w/ cPanel only)
1-year SSL certificate†† to secure customer data and increase search rankings. (Restrictions Apply)
4: Learn Continuously
If you are going to be good at what you do, you have to be continually learning and improving
Not only learning how to improve your coaching skills but marketing, SEO, website, social media.
Lots to learn to grow your business.
You should also get a Mentor Coach to help get you to your goals faster if you have the funds.
I offer 30 min free strategy sessions if you are interested in setting up one and one mentor coaching with me.
Contact me on the web @ www.myrnayounghelps.com or send me an email @firstname.lastname@example.org
Good luck in your new venture.
Don’t forget to subscribe to my podcast and leave a review in exchange for this media.
In this week’s segment of the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, I teach on the topic how to Raise your Self Esteem by Erasing Self Doubt.
Self confidence and self esteem is the belief that you can accomplish any task or any goal.
Self doubt is the negative narrative that plays in your head. It is like PAC man. It is there to eat up your confidence
I was listening to a Ted talk YouTube video last week and the speaker was telling his story.
He said for 10 years he smoked crack when he woke up and before he went to bed. Hoping to numb the pain of living. He was a disappointment to his mother, his wife and his children. He felt worthless!
On his second trip to prison, he spent a total of 8 years in prison, his adopted mother had a heart attack and he was told she was not going to make it. He felt pretty low that this woman who he adopted him and loved his as her own and tried to give him a better life was now in the hospital, in a cold dark room and he was not there to offer her comfort. This was the first spark of change in him. Maybe he should do something with his life other than being a mess up.
When he got out of prison this time he decided to go to college. He was now a middle aged black man and he was in college with 20 year old white students. Never the less he did good and now looked forward for the accolades his teachers gave him because he was performing better than expected. He said that praise was now his new drug. He lived for his teachers praises. One day one of his teachers put an application for a job on his desk. He couldn’t believe it. His teacher had confidence in him, his teacher had confidence in his ability to do the job. The self confidence seedling inside him got water and grew a little. As his self confidence grew, his life changed. No longer was he a non contributing member to society, he was making a contribution. He now had a new family and 7 years after he was released from prison, he received his PHD in Physiology!
Self confidence doesn’t always come naturally. Sometimes you have to practice and practice until you build it. Sometimes it comes from your teachers or your parents.
So today I will share some tools to help you build up your self confidence and self esteem while starving the negative self talk. The negative talk that tells you, you are not good enough. You can never make it, you are not smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough.
But before we can get to the solution of anything or before we can get to anywhere on the map, we have to know how we got to where we are right now and pinpoint where we are.
For example. If you are at the mall and you are wanting to go to Macy’s department store you look at the map and it shows “You are here” if you want to get to Macy’s than you know you have to walk right or left.
It is the same way in life.
Statics show that we can shed a lot of light on how we got here on the map by looking at our childhood. You see parenting does not come
with a manual and some parents get it right; but most get it wrong.
Understanding your inner child is very important to unlocking the door of where you are on the map today.
You see when you came into the world you were totally dependent on someone else to care for you. Not just to feed you, bathe you, and to keep you warm but to love you, protect you and nurture you.
If whenever you cried your mother or caregiver came and picked you up and smiled at you and comforted you then you transformed that into the feeling of you are important.
If however when you cried you were ignored, then you formed the feeling that you are unwanted.
Even though you have no memory of being a baby, your heart and your internal computers have a record of everything. A hypnotist can go back and pull it out. That is the root of low self esteem and self doubt that is now an oak tree!
If today you are listening to me and you are experiencing low self esteem and self doubt or you don’t understand why you are not getting the results you want. Why you are here on the map and you can never get over there. I challenge you to do the work find out why.
I was watching Oprah Super Soul Sunday a few months ago and she had a guest who talked about going back to your childhood home in your mind and looking out the window. What do you see?
I did this exercise.
I grew up with a single mother and my grandmother in Guyana. Guyana is in South America. Our neighbors are Venezuela and Brazil.
We were very poor. Both my mother and grand mother were domestic servants.
I was the eldest of 4 children and we all lived in a room in a big house.
When I looked through the window of that room. I saw that even though I was poor, I had hope. I had love, I had friends, I was happy.
I saw that I had self confidence because I believed I was attractive. My dad told me so and I believed him.
I had self confidence because I believed I was intelligent. I did well in school. I was a B+ student.
I had self confidence because I knew I would get a good job when I left school. And I did. When I graduated from school, I got a job at the Ministry of Health. I was a payroll clerk paying all the doctors at Georgetown hospital.
I never lost my self confidence. If someone wanted to hurt me by calling me ugly, did nothing to me because I knew I was attractive.
If someone called me stupid, it did nothing to me because I knew I was intelligent.
That is why we have to have an internal lotus of control. You can’t let people steal your self confidence by telling you, “you are not good enough.” You are wonderfully made. As Joel Osteen says “We are all made like a fully loaded top of the line sports car” everything we need to be successful in life is preloaded at the factory. All we have to do is to read the manual!
I challenge you to go back to your childhood home in your mind and look through the window.
We lose self esteem because of a variety of reasons
• We were inadequately nurtured as children.
• We could have absorbed negative messages about ourselves and it still resides in the core of our beings.
• Self esteem is what you think and feel about yourself and not what others think and feel about you.
• How we feel about ourselves, is how we view the world.
To grow in self esteem is to expand our capacity for happiness.
The higher our self esteem the more equipped we are to handle life’s adversities.
The higher our self esteem the more ambitious we are not necessary in a career; but in forming healthy relationships and not repeating destructive patterns.
The higher our self esteem the more likely we are to form nourishing bonds with others.
Our external life is an indication of what is going on inside.
The art of raising our self esteem is a process your level of commitment determines how long raising your self esteem will take.
How to raise your self esteem by erasing self doubt
Some of us never got love from our parents; but we are now mothers. It is important to hug your kids often and tell them you love them. It is important to make your kids feel valuable.
But, even if you get no love from your parents, friends, lovers, you must love yourself. You can never give away what you don’t have. If you don’t love yourself you can’t love your children, you can’t love your husband.
How do you know if you love yourself?
Ask yourself these questions?
• Do I take care of myself?
• Do I make being healthy a priority?
• Am I stretching and challenging myself to be better than I am today?
• Am I living life with passion or am I just passing through?
If you answered No to any of these questions then you need to make some changes in your life before you get to 80 years old and realize that you never lived.
How do you erase self doubt?
By Thinking it, speaking it and doing it!
The weeds that take over the garden of your mind can only flourish if you are a bad gardener!
You have to protect your dreams by plucking up the weeds before they grow. They will come. Self doubt always comes; but you have to pluck them out by speaking of your goals and doing something to get you moving towards the place on the map you want to go.
That is why you have to know where you are so you won’t move in the opposite direction.
First Think it. There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so. William Shakespeare.
Rhonda brine of the secret says “What you think about you bring about”
Your thoughts affect your attitude, your self confidence, your mood, and there is a direct relationship to your thoughts and your experiences in life.
Remember when you were a kid and your parents would tell not to hang around Johnny or Jane? They did not know why; but they knew that if you kept company with Jonny or Jane, no good would come of you.
In the same way if you keep replaying negative emotions in your head such as fear, discontent, anger, jealousy, insecurities, blame etc then you will keep attracting more negative energy to your experience.
But if you are wanting that promotion and you see yourself in this new role and you are confident that you will get this promotion then you will. You might not get it at your first try but if you never give up it will be yours eventually; conversely, If you want this promotion; but you place road blocks in your path such as any and all negative thoughts then chances are you will never attract this reality into your experience.
When we think, our thoughts become like magnets and attract, and then attach to like thoughts. That is why it manifests in our life.
Nothing shows up in our life unless we attract it.
We have all seen the power of attraction in motion when if we have something bad happen to us at the beginning of the day, bad things keep on happening for the rest of the day.
So, it is very important to watch what you think.
Now let’s take a look at Speak it.
The spoken word is a powerful tool and by leveraging your voice you expand your dreams from internal thoughts to external possibilities, laying the ground work for divine purpose to manifest. Deepak Chopra
When you take your thoughts, which are formless and speak them into the atmosphere you give them form. This empowers them.
“Talk happiness; talk faith; talk health. Say you are well, and all will be well with you. God shall hear your words and make them true.” Ella Wheeler Wilcox
So, remember to speak it. Tell a friend or your coach of your intentions.
And lastly “just do it.” Nike made this phrase popular but it applies to more than athletics. Just do it. There will never be a better time than the present.
“He who waits to do a great deal of good at once will never do anything.”
― Samuel Johnson
So “just do it.” Think about something you have been thinking of doing for some time. Tell someone about it and then take the first step. It does not have to be a giant step. It could be as simple as doing research or taking that nice red Mercedes out for a test drive; but it will be a step in the right direction.
I hope my presentation was thought provoking. These are the principles I live by and I attract all that I want into my experience; so give it a try.
If you lack self confidence and would like to talk to a coach, I offer a 30 min Free strategy session to help you gain self confidence to achieve your goals.
Click this link to set up your Free Strategy Session