In this episode of the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast, coach Myrna interviews Valeri Bocage. Valerie lost everything in hurricane Katrina and used her pain to create her company Powerful Women International. She believes that the greater your pain the greater things that are birthed from this pain.
She believes that whenever you focus on what you have lost, you can never move forward.
Her purpose was to make a difference.
She says to figure out who your audience is. Who are you supposed to make a difference to?
My tip of the week is:
How to Create Positive Core Beliefs
Our guest today shared her story of losing everything in hurricane Katrina and bouncing back to become the CEO of Powerful Women International. To do that she had to have positive self-worth and positive core beliefs.
Beliefs are the truths people hold on to that guide our life. The power of belief can trap you, as in the belief that you deserve only a limited amount of happiness. Or belief can free you, as in the belief that you are safe and protected in the cosmic plan.
When you open your awareness to your strongest beliefs, which are known as core beliefs, two things happen. First, you find out who you are and why you behave in the ways you do. Second, new energies become available when you pursue the core beliefs that are life-supporting, fulfilling, and spiritually transforming.
How to Create Positive Core Beliefs
A powerful core belief is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of core belief you are activating. Step one is to bring your core beliefs into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:
I am loving and lovable.
I am worthy.
I am safe and trusting.
I am fulfilled and whole.
You already have existing core beliefs in these four areas of love, self-worth, security, and fulfillment. Your beliefs can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness. At the core of your being, where your true self resides, the truth about you is clear and unequivocal: You deserve unconditional love; you are of unique worth in the universe; you can trust Nature to protect and uphold you; and your fulfillment comes from being whole.
To overhaul your beliefs means that you get closer and closer to your core beliefs, these four inner truths, which are absolute. Right now, there’s a gap between them and what you experience. For most people, the positive and negative side of their core beliefs depend on how good or bad their experiences have been in the past. If you have been deeply hurt in love, for example, it is hard to adopt the core belief that you deserve infinite love.
A Self-Awareness Exercise to Create Your Core Beliefs
Reliving experiences from the past only keeps you stuck in the past. Your core beliefs are activated in the now, every day. They can only be changed in the now! Here’s how:
Look upon what’s happening now as a reflection of your core beliefs.
If the reflection is negative, pause and ask yourself why it fits the storyline your beliefs create. If you experience any kind of abusive treatment, for example, this reflects a victimhood story supported by a core belief that keeps you in the story. If you experience unexpected kindness, on the other hand, this reflects a storyline that includes compassion and reflects a core belief in how much you deserve love.
A core belief that God has plans to prosper you, will take you through any setback.
• Valeri Bocage started Powerful Women International in 2006 after moving to San Francisco, a move that was prompted by the loss of everything during Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. Valeri lost everything except her indomitable spirit to help others. Initially, Powerful Women International was formed to help women live their dreams and to begin to support each other worldwide to fulfill their utmost dreams and expand themselves as leaders worldwide.
Show notes and questions:
2: How did Valerie overcome losing everything in Hurricane Katrina?
3: How did Valerie build and assemble her teams?
4: How did Valerie use the media to promote her business?
5: How did she overcome obstacles?
6: What inspired Valerie to start PWIC?
Daniela Orozcoshe recalls how many homeless people she saw on her way to school when she was a high school freshman.
Four years later, the number has multiplied. People live on a main thoroughfare near the school, at a nearby park, and below the off-ramps and bridges in her hometown of San Fernando, which is about 20 miles northwest of downtown Los Angeles. In the San Fernando Valley, homelessness increased 36% to 7,094 people last year, according to the Los Angeles Homeless Services Agency’s annual count. Daniela and her friends wanted to help, but giving money wasn’t an option.
“Because we come from low-income families ourselves, we can’t give them money,” the high school senior says.
“We wanted to offer something besides money,” her classmate, Veronica Gonzalez, chimes in.
That was the starting point for their invention: a solar-powered tent that folds up into a rollaway backpack. The girls and 10 others from their high school had never done any hands-on engineering work before, but with the help of YouTube, Google, and trial-and-error, they got it done.
They hope that one day, their tent will improve the lives of people experiencing homelessness in their community.
On this weeks episode of the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, we discuss the Power and Purpose of Journaling. My guest today is Margaret Elizabeth Hulse, a novelist who uses her fine art and jewelry designs to illustrate her journaling stories. Margaret writes stories with her body, mind, spirit that she says exist in the beauty of Texas, the Caribbean, and New Orleans.
Before opening Mpulse Studio | Charlotte St. Charles, Margaret Elizabeth Hulse graduated with a degree from St. Edward’s University and began her career in the arts apprenticing under metal sculptor, Daryl Colburn. She then served as the director of both Tate Gallery Austin and Urban Roots Gallery before she spent time in non-profit development and coordinating effective programs for various organizations. Margaret Elizabeth opened her fine arts studio, Mpulse Studio, in 2014 and launched both her women’s and men’s jewelry lines, Charlotte St. Charles and Stanley Kemp & Co in 2016. In 2016, Margaret wrote her first novel, Sketches from the Heart of a Texas Artist, based on her short story, The Sketchbook and is working on her second novel in the series, Antoine’s Lament.
Margaret feels that the problems experienced by women that are related to feeling stuck can be inspired to transcend from the monotony of day to day, obligatory tasks and into a life life filled with passion and purpose from the power and purpose of journaling. She says “I write relatable, yet sensual, passionate stories that take my readers on new adventures and create custom jewelry so that the wearer has something unique to set her apart from the typical, ‘go-to’ designs. I evoke an excitement that people feel they haven’t been able to tap into for a while, whether it’s because they’ve been hurt, or have simply lost themselves as they’ve tried to make ends meet.”
She feels that through journaling, she learned how to manifest her dream work through writing her way out of a trauma. Her first published journal simply titled, “Sketchbook,” is an illustrated short story that serves as a preamble to her novel, Sketches from the Heart of a Texas Artist. I write and speak often about the power of healing through creativity and how the more you write about something, the more likely it is to come to fruition.
On a personal note, I have always journaled to download and to write down my goals and dreams. The power and purpose for my journaling for me has been manifested in my life over and over.
There are 3 ways to attract anything into your life. First you think it in your mind, then you speak it into the atmosphere, then you write it down to give it form!
James Pennebaker, a distinguished professor at the University of Texas, got married right out of college in the early ‘70s. Three years after his marriage, he and his wife started to question their relationship, and Pennebaker, confused and unsettled, sank into a depression. He ate less, drank more, and started smoking. Embarrassed by what he saw as emotional weakness, he became more and more isolated.
One morning about a month into this decline, Pennebaker climbed out of bed and sat down at a typewriter. He stared at the machine for a moment, then started writing freely and frankly about his marriage, his parents, his sexuality, his career, and even death.
As he wrote, and continued to write in the days that followed, something fascinating happened. His depression lifted and he felt liberated. He began to reconnect with his deep love for his wife. But the writing had an even farther-reaching impact. For the first time, he started to see the purpose and possibilities in his life.
Pennebaker’s own experience getting through this rocky period sparked 40 years of research about the links between writing and emotional processing. Over and over again Pennebaker did studies in which he divided people into two groups and asked some to write about emotionally significant experiences, and the others to write about common things: their shoes, or maybe the cars passing on the street. Both groups wrote for the same span—about 20-minutes a day, three days in a row.
In each study, Pennebaker found that the people who wrote about emotionally charged episodes experienced marked improvement in their physical and mental well-being. They were happier, less depressed and less anxious. In the months after the writing sessions, they had lower blood pressure, improved immune function, and fewer visits to the doctor. They also reported better relationships, improved memory, and more success at work.
Is your purpose in life to help others achieve fulfillment in theirs?
Then maybe becoming a Life Coach is the career for you.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for your FREE copy of my eBook “How to become a Life coach”
This week on the Fund, Fix and Flip Real Estate Investment series, Trainer Trevor Evans teaches How to Invest in Real Estate with No Money.
In this segment Trevor teaches our listeners on the following:
1. What are some strategies to purchase real estate with little or no cash?
2. What does Hard money lenders look for in a good deal?
3. How do you make your deal attractive to a Hard money lender?
Strategies to use other people’s money to fund your real estate investments:
1. Using your credit cards to fund your deals. The more credit you have the better off you are!
2. Hard money Lenders. Hard money lenders look at the asset and not at your credit score.
3. Borrow money from friends and family. You convert them into Hard Money lenders and pay them a good interest rate.
4. Borrow from your Whole Life Insurance policy.
2. Take a loan from your 401K.
3. Take out an Equity line of credit on your personal house.
The commonly used strategy in real estate investing is the use of a Hard Money Lender.
So, if the Hard money lender does not look at your credit, what does he look for?
1. Your expertise. Most Hard money lenders want you to have 3 investments under your name. This does not include your personal residence.
2. The ARV or after repair value. The property must have equity before the deal is made.
3. How did the property come on the market. Eg is it a Foreclosure, short sale or probate.
4. What is your exit strategy? Are you buying to hold or buying to rehab and Flip.
5. How long you need to complete rehab work.
6. How much is the estimated cost of repairs.
Tip of the week:
Confessions of a Hard Money Lender -And Why We Hate Hearing “I Need 100% Financing”
Make no mistake, hard money lenders need borrowers to deploy their capital and get a return on investment for their capital partners. They often enjoy repeat business – real estate investors aren’t typically one-time borrowers, so asset-based lenders like hard money lenders or private money lenders value the business relationships they develop with quality borrowers.
One way to invest in real estate with no money down or little or no cash is to borrow from Hard money lenders who charge high interest for short term loans. When hard money lenders provide a loan, they want to be confident that the borrower is able to repay the loan on time. If the borrower isn’t able to pay back the loan, this creates a great deal of extra work, stress and potential financial loss for the lender. A strong borrower with a significant down payment (or equity in the property) and cash reserves has the best chance of obtaining a hard money loan and succeeding with their real estate project.
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Looking for a Hard Money Lender? Here is an article from Connected Investors on how to get bids on your project.
Connected Investors, the world’s largest real estate investors network and marketplace, today announced the launch of the first centralized real estate investment funding portal, CiX.com. The technology allows real estate investors to quickly and easily submit their deals to a network of asset-based lenders, ensuring the best terms for loans on their investment properties.
Subscribe to the Transform you Mind podcast with Coach Myrna to get notification of all shows, Life coaching tips as well as Real Estate Investment tips and strategies.
Have you found your purpose? Our topic today is “How to find your purpose” by becoming a Diamond. My guest today on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast is Marlene M Bryan, inspirational speaker, author, business coach and President of Small Biz Evolution. Marlene is going to teach us “How to find your purpose” by becoming a Diamond.
Marlene asks this question: Do you remember the day you asked: “Why am I here?” “Why was I born?” “Why don’t I know my purpose?” And the best of all: “Why me?” It’s okay to ask the question why? Yet some people get hung up on the “why” and never move forward or take action to put what they have learned into action.
Until thought is linked with purpose, there is no intelligent accomplishment.
Those who have no central purpose in life, fall an easy prey to petty worries, fears, troubles, and self-pitying; all which lead to failure, unhappiness, and loss.
For weakness cannot persist in a power-evolving universe.
A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart, and set out to accomplish it. He should make this purpose the centralizing point of his thoughts. He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings.
Even if you fail again and again to accomplish your purpose (and you must until weakness is overcome), the strength of character gained will be the measure of your true success, and this will form a new starting point for future power and triumph.
Those who are not prepared for the apprehension of a great purpose, should fix their thoughts upon the faultless performance of their duty, no matter how insignificant their task may appear.
The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth- that strength can only be developed by effort and practice- will, thus believing at once begin to exert itself adding effort to effort, patience to patience, strength to strength will at last grow divinely strong.
Only by searching and mining are gold and diamonds obtained, and man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mines of his soul!
Our topic today is “How to become a Diamond by Finding Your Purpose”
Diamonds are created far below the earth’s surface from immense pressure and heat.
Diamonds are the most indestructible element.
How does finding your purpose compare to mining for diamonds?
We come into this world from pressure. But we come into this world as coal in the rough says Marlene Bryan.
Similarly to the diamond we need diamond cutters to shape us. Our diamond cutters are our parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, relationships,
They cut and shape us either to shine like a Diamond or stay as coal!
Finding your purpose make you a diamond because then you will believe that you are precious.
How do you find your purpose?
Your purpose can come from a place of pain or from something you love.
If you can’t figure it out, get the help of your diamond cutters!
Ask them what you do well or what your talents are.
Pain is an energy much like anger that moves us out of our comfort zone into our purpose.
What are the 4 C’s of a diamond and how does becoming a Diamond Help us Find our Purpose? CUT: The cut of the diamond determines its value. The diamond cutters in our life determine our brilliance.
COLOR: Color in a diamond is a flaw; but now the pink and yellow diamonds are more desirable than colorless diamonds.
Similarly, what we consider flawed about ourselves could be our most valuable quality.
CLARITY: The transparency of the diamond also determines its value.
We must also be transparent. You must know who you are and stay true to your values.
CARAT: The bigger the carat, the more the presumed value but a smaller diamond with all the above attributes could be more valuable.
We should help other become greater or bigger by giving them a hand up.
Is your purpose to become a Life coach?
Then subscribe, rate and review this podcast and I will send you my FREE EBook
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“A real estate wholesaler contracts with a home seller, markets the home to his potential buyers, and assigns the contract to the buyer. The wholesaler makes a profit, which is the difference between the contracted price with the seller and the amount paid by the buyer.”
Tip of the week: So What Exactly is Wholesaling Real Estate?
Wholesaling is often marketed as a low-to-no cost way of getting into real estate investing and this can be true. A new wholesaler can certainly profit with a much lower initial cash outlay than an investor who has to buy a property and rehab it. However, the successful wholesaler has to have a firm grasp of what makes for an attractive deal – once you understand this process of wholesaling, it becomes much easier and can be broken down into a serious of repeatable steps.
Word from our sponsors:
Are you looking to invest in the south Florida market? The time is ripe for investors. Call MyHelps Real Estate Investment Services Services LLC at 954-999-6125 for all your Sales, Rentals or Property Management services. We are licensed in real estate and property management and will buy or lease your property. Don’t delay, Call today 954-999-6125
My co-host today on this podcast is Trevor Evans.
Trevor is a Professional Speaker, Real Estate Investor, Retail Store Owner.
Speaker/Trainer for Rich Dad Education and Founder of Personal Awakening brand “Being Normal Sucks.”
Trevor has also been married for 19 years and have 2 beautiful daughters ages 22 and 18.
Bio: Coach Myrna Young –
Certified Professional Spiritual, Life and Executive Leadership
Coach, Motivational Speaker, Published Author, Realtor and Real Estate Investor
Past president and CEO of A Royal Livery Limousine Service, and Entrepreneur of the year, Myrna is now the President and CEO of MyHelps Consulting LLC. I am also married and the mother of 5 children. Myrna currently lives in South Florida.
Are you on a journey to find happiness through the doorway of wealth?
Living in financial abundance is one way to find happiness but not fulfillment.
You deserve happiness, and you CAN attain it.
The Transform Your Mind with Coach Myrna podcast has entered into collaboration with with Swami’s Brahmananda to offer my listeners guidance and the power of an entire community of happiness seekers, so you too can wake up happy.
For more information please clink the link below and start your Happiness journey
• Topic: How to get started with real estate wholesaling
1. Question 1: Tell us of your path to becoming a Speaker/Trainer for Rich Dad Education.
2. Question 2, What do you feel is a step by step plan to becoming a Real Estate Wholesaler?
Step 1: Create a Database of buyers:
Contact local Rehabbers and Contractors and ask them what kind of properties they are looking for to rehab.
You can find them at your local Chamber of Commerce or your local REIA
Ask them these questions.
1. What kind of properties are they currently rehabbing?
2. Type of properties they like to work with Eg. Single family or multi family?
3. What are they certified to work on? Eg. Are they certified to work on burn down or water damaged properties?
Step 2: Put an AD on Craigslist
Ask the following questions when you get responses to your AD
1. Is the property listed with a Realtor?
2. Are you speaking with the owner of the property?
3. Is the property in Foreclosure, probate, bank owned, or free and clear
4. Does the property need rehab? If so what is the estimated cost of repair.
Step 3: Put together your power team which includes your Title and Escrow Agent.
If you structure your deals properly, you could use one escrow deposit for 10 properties!
Question 3. In our first episode you talk about process. You said that setting up a process prevents failure.
What is the process for the real estate Wholesaler?
My friends at Connected Investors wrote this article on Getting started with real estate Wholesaling.
Wholesaling is often touted as the easiest entry point into the world of investing in real estate. And financially speaking the barriers to entry are generally a lot lower, especially when compared to fix and flipping or buy and hold investing. Many experienced, professional investors have door-knocked and bandit-signed their way up the REI ladder without having more than a cell phone, gas money, and the will to WIN. read more … http://connectedinvestors.com/blog/find-it/wholesaler-website/
Finding beauty in your Now is the point of all power that unlocks healing, growth, strength, peace, desires, success, and happiness says my guest this week on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast.
This week I interview Aireka Harvell, aspiring motivational speaker who focuses on transforming the minds and lives of women with her blog “Be That Woman.” She is also the Founder of Nodat Place Advertising LLC. where she encourages and promotes female entrepreneurship and offers daily motivation and support through her social media platforms.
Today our topic is “How to find Beauty in your Now”
Aireka has a powerful story of overhearing a mother telling her son that she was ugly and that she would treat him better when she was just 9 years old. That tag stayed with her throughout her life and gave birth to low self esteem, becoming a Pleaser and allowing her husband to mentally and physically abuse her. Aireka lived in darkness for most of her life, until one day she heard the voice of God telling her to Help other women “Be That Woman” he made them to be.
Today she has a huge following on Instagram and on her blog and offers Hope and Encouragement with her daily posts.
Listen to find out How to control your mind and bring it under subjection when thoughts of fear and hopelessness threaten to stomp out your joy.
Learn that there is opportunity to learn and grow from every situation.
A Conversation with our manufacturer (God) God: Tell me “what is your purpose down there on earth”
Man: Well you know “I want to work hard and not hurt anyone, and I want to get along with folks and stay out of trouble” God: “But what about your talents”
Man: Well what talents I have and there are not much, I take good care of. I kind of pace myself, you know.
No, No,No God shouted, your answers are all wrong. Don’t you remember the story of the talents?
Man: Yes I think so … You gave each of three men a different set of talents. To one man, you gave five talents. To another man, you gave two talents. And to the third, you gave but one talent.
“That’s right says God: and some years later I checked up on each of these three men. I was pleased to find that the man with five talents had multiplied his talents by working hard, and applying each one. The man whom I gave two talents had also labored hard and multiplied them. But when I checked with the man I had only given one talent, I became very angry. For that man had buried his talent in the name of protecting it. To which I cursed him saying “thou wicked and slothful servant” how dare you not use the gifts I gave you. You Knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed.
Do you not get the point of this parable?
Man: Yes I think so. I am to use the talents you gave me and multiply them to help others.
God: Let me ask you another question
“Who is in charge of your life?”
Man: I am responsible for my life – but with a few exceptions. I mean sometimes you just don’t get the breaks, you know. Sometimes things just don’t go my way, but that is the way the ball bounces or the way the cookie crumbles”
God jumped to his feet “No, No, No, he shouted. “When will you learn, you are totally responsible for your life, no exceptions. You are totally responsible for the results you obtain. Not your mother, not your father, not your boss. It’s not the breaks, that control your life, it’s you. Don’t ever say that is the way the ball bounces, that it is the way the cookie crumbles. You must bounce your own ball!
Man: Okay, okay I think I see. The fact is that I have been put on earth to succeed, I have an obligation, a responsibility, to use my abilities to the fullest. I must control my life, for I wasn’t designed to be led. I prefer excellence to mediocrity. I won’t prevent my own success, for all success requires is that I am here, and that I use my talents to the world and not wait for the world to come to me. And I will act now, no matter how convenient waiting may seem, no matter how imperfect might be the results I obtain.
Tears welled up in God’s eyes, a smile creased his face.
God: “Thou wonderful and faithful servant, take all the love and energy and talent that you have and share it. Share it with all you meet, until it seems you have no more to give, there will always be more and more in reserve. Your potential extends beyond your wildest imaginings. The only limitations you will ever face will be those you place on yourself”
There is so much beauty in the world—and because this crazy, gorgeous life is so fleeting, I want to focus on the beauty.
No, I won’t turn my eyes away from the horrors of the world. But I also won’t become so consumed by these horrors that I no longer notice the wind dancing on the water. Or the tender grasp of my lover. Or the plant on the windowsill stretching toward the sunlight.
I’m not trying to downplay the crap. But I don’t want to crumple into a small, powerless mess each and every time I read the news.
Negativity sells. Sensationalism sells. But this is not reality.
If you liked this content remember to share, subscribe to my iTunes podcast and write a review. Once you do, send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line “Podcast review” and I will send you one of two gifts. My eBook “How to become a Life Coach” or a “Mindset Shift Focus Wheel” a workbook to change from a Fixed Mindset to a Growth Mindset.
How to Overcome Fear and find Joy: Fear is an energy. Thoughts are the most powerful energy force in the universe.
Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of negative thoughts, is fear.
It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
If you allow fear to linger in your body and in your mind, It will not only attract the thing you fear the most into your experience;
but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to negative thoughts and fear.
Negative thoughts transform your body into an acidic state.
Fear is a negative thought magnified to the 1000th degree.
In fear mode, your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell!
Unfortunately, your brain cannot detect the difference between your imagination and reality, so the person in the grip of fear cannot tell the difference. They cannot tell that it is “False Evidence Appearing Real.”
Today I want to teach you how to use positive energy to clear the negative energies of fear. But first I want to review one of the Spiritual Laws of the Universe. “The Law of Sowing and Reaping”
We all know of the physical laws like Gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are Spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the spiritual “Law of Sowing and reaping” can change your world.
Understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world of your thoughts will manifest in the physical world.
Put another way, that means whatever you plant in the fertile soil of your mind, will manifest in your physical world.
Just like planting an apple tree
Except that in the spiritual world;
The soil is your mind,
The seeds are your thoughts,
The water are your actions,
And The sun is your feelings.
If you allow fear to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.
Energy flows where Attention Goes
Whatever you focus on expands.
Everything is energy and all energy attracts similar energies.
You can’t put out negative energy and expect positive results.
You can’t plant apple trees and expect oranges.
Likewise, you can’t focus on what you fear and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal Law of Reaping and Sowing, it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.
These are six words you must stamp on your mind
“You become what you think about”
When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.
Exercise: write down something that is opposite of what you fear and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your fear.
Since light conquers darkness, it will eventually have your fear for lunch!
Imagine you having fun traveling the world in crystal clear clarity.
Say daily affirmations that compliments your desire.
Visualize your goal so much that sometimes you are not sure what is imagined and what is reality;
the same way that you let fear take you out of reality.
Don’t get disappointed if it takes time to perfect this. Remember that positive things take time to manifest,
it is the negative ones that show up quickly.
Weeds will sprout up; negative thoughts of failure will sprout up.
So, every morning find the weeds and dig them up.
Remember a successful gardener will always cultivate his land.
Cultivate your mind for success.
Life is energy, whatever you put out, is returned to you.
The mind does not care what seeds you plant; it will always return what you plant.
You can plant wealth or you can plant poverty.
You can plant fear or you can plant happiness.
Here is an excerpt from the book: The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology:
The Buddha faced plenty of his own fear and terror of imminent death. This is a passage from the Buddha’s early writings that Jack Kornfield, a teacher who helped introduce Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West, quotes in his book.
How would it be if in the dark of the month, with no moon, I were to enter the most strange and frightening places, near tombs and in the thick of the forest, that I might come to understand fear and terror. And doing so, a wild animal would approach or the wind rustle the leaves and I would think, “Perhaps the fear and terror now comes.” And being resolved to dispel the hold of that fear and terror, I remained in whatever posture it arose, sitting or standing, walking or lying down. I did not change until I had faced that fear and terror in that very posture, until I was free of its hold upon me … And having this thought, I did so. By facing the fear and terror I became free.
Fear – False objects appearing real, as per the about passage, can be released by standing your ground. Our instinctive reaction to fear is to turn and run because as humans we are hard wired to run from pain and towards pleasure.
But, as the Buddha teaches in the passage above if you stand and have the courage to not move, you become free of fear and realize that your imagination is always worse than the reality.
Let me share a personal story on how I overcame fear.
When I first came to the United States of America, I came as a business owner. I did not have any of the benefits of a permanent resident. As my business was building, I decided to earn money as a sales person selling vacations. I was not authorized to work in the US, so I became very fearful of being found out and being deported. Every night I would dream that the immigration officials would come to my house and take me away in handcuffs. Sometimes I would dream that they would throw me in the back of the trunk.
One day, my pastor preached a sermon on fear. He said that God promises to carry your burdens, so give them to God. He said when you give your fears and heavy loads to God, you can’t worry or take them back because that would mean that you don’t have faith in God’s promise to carry them. He asked the congregation to write our fears and heavy burdens on a piece of paper and ceremoniously throw them at the alter giving them to God. I wrote my fear of being deported on a piece of paper and threw in on the alter. In doing so, I became free because I gave it away to someone else, God. The good news is that I no longer was afraid of anything. Every time something came up that would potentially me fearful, I would face it and know that it will work out for my good. I stood on the scripture “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you.”
How to Overcome Fear of Failure
Wisdom by http://www.wisdom.srisriravishankar.org/
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Now in order to transform the energy of fear into the energy of joy, I want to share with you a short meditation practice.
Sit quietly in a chair, be comfortable.
Place feet flat on the floor, hands clasped in your lap. Close your eyes. Be present. Focus on your breathing, feel your belly rise and fall under your clasped hands.
Breathe in for a count of 4 and breathe out for account of 6. Thus, slowing down your rhythmic cycles. Be mindful of the air as it passes through your nostrils down your esophagus and into your abdomen. If your mind wanders off bring it back gently to your breathe. Your mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Concentrating on your breathe bypasses your mind. Once you slow your cycles and quiet your mind, you are now in the receptive mode to change your programming.
Think briefly about something you fear. Today we will use as our example the fear of flying. Today we are going to use our imagination to replicate the experience of flying while you are sitting comfortably and safely in your chair.
Let’s begin. visualize you are at the airport with your loved ones, your husband and 2 children. You are on your way to Venice, Italy. You chose Venice because you wanted a romantic vacation with your husband. You can’t wait to ride on the Gondolas and be serenaded with live music, going to the opera and have the experience of taking a water taxi everywhere. You are excited. This energy is positive. You let this feeling of euphoria wash over you, you feel your body tingle with this positive energy. You feel good!
Now you are boarding the plane, you are starting to feel a little anxious. You board the plane and find your seat, you buckle yourself in. The pilot announces that your flight time is 6 hours and that he will be flying at a cruising altitude of 35,000 feet. He advises you to give your attention the flight attendant and pay attention to the safety information. You mentally note your exits. You listen to what to do in the event of a water landing! Your mind is going nuts with fear. Your heart starts to palpitate rapidly, you start to sweat.
Now the airplane is taxing down the runway at full speed, then lifts off the ground.
You squeeze your husband’s hand, you are hardly breathing, your whole body is tight. The plane is climbing it shakes a little. You are so scared the sweat starts dripping from your forehead. The plane reaches cruising altitude, the pilot turns off the fasten seat belt sign and people start moving about the plane. You calm down a little, but still aware of every movement of the plane. The flight attendants come around and offer beverages. You ask for a glass of wine. You drink it down in one gulp! You start to feel calmer. The flight is uneventful. After what seems like an eternity the pilot announces that in 30 minutes he will be starting his descent into Venice. Your fear returns, the plane shakes a little as it descends and you are once again in the grip of fear. The plane touches down and speeds down the runway braking speed. Your body is tight, your breathing shallow. Then it is all over. You faced your fear and came out on the other side! You exit the plane and you are in Venice!
I want you now to realize that you have taken your first flight in your mind.
I want you to realize that fear is false evidence appearing real.
I want you to realize that once you face your fear, like a bully, it backs down.
I want you to realize that the energy of fear is keeping you stuck.
I want you to realize that whatever your fear, just like we took a ride on an airplane and came out alive on the other side that is how all fear works. It has no real power over you. The only thing that is holding you back from doing the things you want to do is all in your mind. So, the only way the clear it is to start with the mind. Do a dress rehearsal in the mind and then do it in the physical.
The first step is to overcome fear is to face the fear.
The second step is to clear it from the place it is planted in your mind. Take a moment now to ask your higher self where the fear of flying came from. When was the fear planted? When you get the answer, you may think to yourself, boy that was silly or you may have a legitimate reason to be afraid of flying. Someone you know could have died in a plane crash or you yourself could have been in a plane emergency landing. The thing to remember is that you know that every time you drive on the highway you could die and you are aware of thousands of people who have died in car accidents; yet few people have a fear of driving in a car. So, consciousness is the second step.
The third step is to clear that energy by replacing it with positive energy. We are going to use the positive energy of gratitude. Sit comfortably again. Imagine a bright light entering the crown of your head moving down through your check, down your throat to your chest, down your abdomen through your feet.
Feel this light fill all your energy centers as you become fully relaxed. Now expand this energy out from your chest past the room, past your city, past your country, past the clouds, past the sun, past the planet into the stratosphere. You are now floating in cyberspace. If you can bring your fear to mind in this space, do so now.
Then replace that feeling of fear with the feeling of gratitude. Gratitude that you are alive, gratitude that you are in your sound mind, gratitude that you have a place to sleep and food to eat. Gratitude that you are wealthier than 95% of the people in the world and you have the resources to travel to exotic destinations. Gratitude that you will not let fear rob you of your joy.
Now set the intention to fly to the first place on your bucket list within the year.
If you found this post helpful, I would love to hear your comments on what your fears are, and if you achieved a successful result transferring it with these exercises. Please share this podcast and blog post with friends and family and remember to subscribe and post a review.
Transform your Mind podcast is giving away a Free Checklist you can do every morning to replace your fears with positive affirmations.
To receive please subscribe, rate and review this podcast then send me an email to email@example.com with the subject line iTunes review.
Until next time Namaste
Need to build confidence? This week on Transform your Mind podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Confidence mentor Di Ridell. Di is going to talk to us today on the subject “7 Ways to get your confidence back after a divorce of death of a spouse.”
As I do every week, I would like to leave you with my tip of the week on “6 Ways to get your Confidence back or to build it up.”
Tip of the week: 6 Tips for Building Unstoppable Confidence:
Building true confidence after the betrayal of a partner is a gradual process. No one is going to turn into a positive, self-confident person overnight.
But if you’re in need of a place to start, here are 6 tips to get you back on the horse.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. I know from experience that this is a confidence killer, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone younger. Remember that you’re only seeing the surface of their lives and looks, not the underlying reality. Focus instead on what’s important–your own strengths and goals.
2. Keep your limiting beliefs at bay.
Even the most successful people with healthy relationships have limiting beliefs about themselves, but the biggest difference is that they choose to focus on their strengths and possibilities instead of their limits.
3. Live in a positive reality.
Don’t say anything about yourself that you don’t want to become a reality. Positive thoughts and words alone won’t make you a more confident person, but confident people do think a lot of positive things about themselves. Remind yourself of what you’re capable of and what you’ve already accomplished.
4. Don’t mask it.
Self-confidence isn’t the impression you give others; but how you feel about yourself. It’s all about who you are, where you are, and where you want to be in your own life and relationships.
5. Change what you can.
Confident people know they cannot change the past, but they can change the future. They make daily choices that lead them toward the future they want to live out.
6. Be fully committed.
Be fully committed to doing whatever you can to build your success every single day, accepting full responsibility for your life. If it gets uncomfortable, you’re probably on the right track! Don’t procrastinate, do what it takes without agonizing or drama.
My guest today is a toastmaster’s trained Speaker, self published Author , Facilitator and MC . Master Practitioner of NLP, Certified Life Coach and Confidence mentor.
Tune in to hear Di’s story of how she was gang raped at 15 years, forced to give the baby up for adoption and told that she was worthless and that no good man would want her. She ended up in a 31 year marriage that restored her confidence until her husband died and she had to find the confidence to start over and date in the second half of life.
When you loose your confidence, you focus on your fears and not your hopes
Powerful interview, don’t miss it if you are lacking in self confidence.
1. Tell us your journey to becoming a confidence mentor.
2. What is Confidence – is it magical? How we get and lose it?
3. How has confidence contributed to what you do?
4. What advice do you have for women 50 + who have lost their partners or gone through a life changing challenge?
5. What problems do women over 50 experience when starting over after a death or divorce. How do they solve them?
6. Tell us about your book.
In November, most of the country was left in shock when Donald Trump won the general elections because he did not win the popular vote. Hilary Clinton lost her bid once again to become the first woman president of the United States of America. This was the second time an non established candidate knocked her off the podium.
What happened this time? Why did a woman who has been in politics for over 50 years, been the wife of a great president, founder of a great charitable foundation that provides vaccines for millions of poor children around the world, a champion for the people, lose to a man with no political experience, thinks that some people are superior to some because of their religion, sex and disability?
Was it because first and foremost she is a woman?
In Numbers 27 we see the daughters of Zelophehad, challenging an age-old law that said the women could not inherit the land. In those days’ women were not even counted as part of the church congregation. This was the pre-CHRIST era. Yet today we are still fighting for women’s rights.
Millions of men and women in the United States of America voted for Donald J Trump because he is a white male. One of my followers on Facebook posted that Hilary couldn’t run the country because she is a woman!
Let’s bring this discussion closer to home. Specifically, your home.
What happens when you have a clear vision that you worked on every day for most of your life and you fail to realize it time and time again? What do you do? The bible says “Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Refuse to be deterred by opinions, policies, and traditions. Do you become disheartened?
God can change the minds and hearts of the populist. What he did for the daughters of Zelophehad, he can do for Hilary Clinton and he can do for you. You must keep the vision in front of you and get back up every time you get knocked down.
Today I want to share 5 things you can do after failure of a goal, company, dream, marriage etc.
1: Watch your Thoughts
Most of us do not understand the power of our thoughts.
Thoughts are the highest energy frequency, and has the power to attract like thoughts floating around in the energy vortex. If you don’t watch your thoughts and consciously send back the negative thoughts that make you feel bad, before you know it you would be a powerful magnet attracting every like thought that comes into range. Keep this up and soon you will be like a hot air balloon that is too filled with poop to take off!
2: Find the good in the situation
“Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”
Brian Webb author of “Don’t Give Up, don’t ever give up“ shares his story in his book with that name.
One day he had a headache like he had never felt before, extremely intense, he felt like he needed to throw up so he went to the bathroom. While in the bathroom he and passed out. He woke up 3 days later from a coma to find out that a blood vessel had ruptured in his brain. He could no longer walk or talk. He realized that life as he knew it, was over.
Doctors predicted that he would never be able to walk, drive a car or live independently again.
Three months later he was released from the hospital. He couldn’t talk, walk, or work. In fact, there was a lot of things he couldn’t do. But he decided to focus on what he could do instead. You heard the saying. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade! Well he decided to make some lemonade.
There is good in every situation, we live in a world of contrast. Nothing exists without its opposite. Find the good in your situation.
Brian decided to focus on fitness.
With the help of his therapist he began to exercise. He began learning to walk again. When he fell down, he would get back up. Walking turned to running. This man who could not walk a year ago, now became a marathon runner!
I am in perfect physical health and I can’t even run a 5K race without stopping and I would guess this would be true for most of you listening. What makes some people hold a vision in front of them and don’t take failure as an option, while others give up after the first try?
Why is Brian’s story so inspirational? Because he chose to find the good in a bad situation. He decided to focus on what he could do instead of what he couldn’t do, and with practice and time, changed his life trajectory.
He walked again, talked again, ran again and worked again!
What do you need to get back on? I can promise you that if you work at it, you will succeed.
Where there is a will, there is always a way.
3: Change the momentum
I love Abraham by Ester Hicks. I was listening to one of her videos a few months back and someone in her workshop asked her why he kept attracting negative experiences even though he was conscious about his energy vortex and made conscious effort to clean up his vortex. Your vortex is your energy frequency or your aura.
Abraham’s response was to explain momentum. Ever heard the saying:
The worst it gets, the worst it gets, and the better it gets, the better it gets?
That is all about momentum. If you think bad thoughts and feel bad, then you attract more of the same. The only way to stop the negative spiral of negative momentum is to find something about the situation to be grateful for.
Let’s say you are Nick Vujicic and you were born with no arms and no legs. Can you think of a worst fate? You are totally dependent on someone to bath you, feed you, and wipe your butt, for the rest of your life. He can’t even hug his wife.
Yet Nick is one of the happiest people you will ever meet. He found many things to be grateful for and because his vortex is full of positive momentum, he attracts great things. He travels all around the world getting paid to speak and motivate others. He has a beautiful wife and son. He learned to swim, use his toes as his hand and do lots of things people with hands and feet take for granted.
The thing about momentum is that it resets itself while you are asleep. When you sleep, your spirit leaves your body in much the same way it does when your body dies. So, you have to deliberately keep the negative momentum going by thinking negative thoughts when you wake up in the morning.
One way to change the momentum is to develop the practice of thinking of things you are grateful for before bed and on rising.
The other is to find something in the situation to be grateful for. In the case of Hilary Clinton. She could be grateful that she will not speed up her aging by 20 years in the time span of 4 years. We all see what that job does to Presidents! It is a time warp!
4: Look for an alternate way to serve, what is your plan B?
I was watching Oprah, another of my favorite people, on Super Soul Sunday a few months back and this very inspirational story was showcased.
This story was about this boy now man who had a vision from God when he was 10 years old of swinging his daughter around while she was laughing hysterically. He even got her name in his vision, Cloe.
He held this vision to his heart dearly and never doubted for a moment that this vision would come true and that one day he would have a daughter just like he saw. Cloe had olive skin and brown eyes.
In his early 20’s, he started dating and subsequently fell in love with his childhood friend who was blond with fair skin and blue eyes. Having the vision of his daughter clearly in his mind, he didn’t think that this was the woman God intended for him to marry, because she could not be the mother of a child with olive skin and brown eyes.
One day they were sitting in his car discussing the future and started talking about children. His girlfriend told him that she wanted a daughter and that she would like to name her Cloe. He couldn’t believe it.
Would you have liked to be a fly on the wall when they both discovered that they were meant to be together, because God gave them both the same dream! Halelewa!
He knew that this was the girl that God chose for him to marry.
They got married and immediately started trying to have a family, they couldn’t wait to meet Cloe; but nothing happened. Four years passed, six years passed. The pain was deep. How could God give them both a vision that failed. How could he be so cruel. For a time, they both became separated from God. They no longer believed. But their faith returned!
The obvious next choice was adoption but they both rejected that option at first. They both wanted their own child. They wanted the baby girl named Cloe. They thought adoption was putting a band aid over their pain.
Finally, after many years, they made the mindset shift and decided to adopt a baby. They found an alternative way to fulfill their purpose of being parents.
They waited for some time for the right fit. Months passed before they received an email that a pregnant mother had chosen them to be parents of her unborn child. She was giving it up for adoption. She was also having a girl!
There were exhilarated! Finally, they were going to be parents of a baby girl. They started choosing a name. Cloe was off the table. Cloe was the name of the baby girl God had intended for them to have. This baby girl was not the vision that God had given both of them.
They decided to meet the mother of their new baby girl and get to know her. They drove to her home and when she opened the door, the man noticed that she looked like a grown-up version of the little girl named Cloe that he saw when he was 10 years old. Same olive skin, same features, same eyes. When they sat down to visit with the mother. She asked them if they had a name picked out for the baby. She told them she had a name and she hoped they would keep it. Can you guess what it was? I am sure 100% of you listening would guess right. Cloe.
Still gives me chills. I don’t know what will be Hilary’s path, history will let us know but I know for sure that if the vision comes from God, it will never fail.
5: Remember that there are several routes to your destination.
Don’t get tied to a particular path. God is like your GPS navigation system, he can take the fastest route, the scenic route, he can bypass the city and construction zones; but he will get you to your destination.
God gave this couple a vision that they will be parents of a baby girl named Cloe. He never showed them a vision of the wife being pregnant or delivering a baby. They added that little piece. He showed the man a vision of him playing with a daughter named Cloe. He showed him the destination.
If you believe that your vision is from God, then when you experience failure, you would refuse to be deterred. You would not grow weary and disheartened. You would look for an open door, you would look for the lesson so that you can be better prepared for the next battle. You would never quit until you WIN or you DIE. God said in the bible “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” So hear this, if you have failed in something, know that it is not the end!
As I wrap up this post from the mindset transformation radio show and podcast. Today I have been coaching on “When The Vision Fails: 5 Things you can do after a failure.” I hope you gleamed something and had a few aha moments. If you have experienced failure, I hope you were encouraged to get up and try again.
You can listen again to this broadcast and any of my previous shows by downloading then on iTunes.
Please remember to subscribe and leave a review.
If you would like to contact me for personal coaching or to be a guest on this radio show and podcast please contact me on the web @ www.myrnayounghelps.com
At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade’s worth of training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, and the next he was a patient struggling to live. And just like that, the future he and his wife had imagined evaporated. When Breath Becomes Air chronicles Kalanithi’s transformation from a naïve medical student “possessed,” as he wrote, “by the question of what, given that all organisms die, makes a virtuous and meaningful life” into a neurosurgeon at Stanford working in the brain, the most critical place for human identity, and finally into a patient and new father confronting his own mortality.
What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when the future, no longer a ladder toward your goals in life, flattens out into a perpetual present? What does it mean to have a child, to nurture a new life as another fades away? These are some of the questions Kalanithi wrestles with in this profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir.
Today on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast, I would like to take you on a journey into living!
How to live before you die
I ask the question “What makes a virtuous and meaningful life for you?”
Psychologists says that in order to live a virtuous and meaningful life, you should have balance in these 7 areas:
1. You should have A fulfilling career – i.e. You are doing what you love.
2. You should and must have a relationship with a higher power, God.
3. You must be fruitful and multiply.
4. You should offer Service to your community.
5. You must have effective time management and stress reduction.
6. You must get quality sleep, adequate exercise and proper nutrition.
7. You should spend quality time with loved one’s friends and family.
A Fulfilling career
Most people don’t do what they love, they work to live; so they live to work!
I saw a viral picture a few weeks back on Instagram that made me chuckle
It was a picture of a man crying with the caption:
So how do you find your passion, work in your passion or work on your passion?
You have to Listen to your soul.
If you are dreading going to work, hate it all the time you are there, and you are not serving or making a difference in the lives of others, then quit.
Step out on faith.
Faith, now faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen.
Believe that God will fund your purpose, if it is his will.
On the road to Damascus, Saul encountered Christ in a memorable experience that left him temporally blind. Immediately he started to undergo a major transformation of his whole life and character, including a total reorientation of his world view. Following this he was commissioned into service as an apostle to the Gentiles. Paul’s story highlights the 3 dynamics of a meaningful life.
The relational, the transformational, and the vocational. We must not choose one and neglect the others.
The relational experiences in a meaningful life results in openness to others, healing progress towards Christlikeness and participation in God’s purposes in the world.
The Transformational concerns how we transform after being touched by God and the Holy Spirit. Just as all Saul’s beliefs, mindset and values were altered, so can yours. This show’s mission is the offer you advice on how to do that.
The vocational is what we are talking about and it is how God works through us. I am doing God’s work.
He has given me the purpose of speaking life into you!
So, choose your vocation wisely and work as unto the Lord.
Know this for sure, that the quickest and most direct path to sickness and death is to linger in stressful situations. All diseases can be traced back to inflammation. Inflammation is brought on by stress and negative emotions.
Find your purpose and step out on faith.
As a coach, I can Help you design a plan to get there quicker.
A relationship with a higher power
We are dual beings having both a physical and a nonphysical experience.
The most important barometer to living a meaningful and virtuous life is how your connect with source and if you understand why your soul chose this time to manifest into a physical being. i.e Understand what you are here to do!
When you meditate, you open communication with source energy and infinite intelligence.
This is the gateway, this is the path a meaningful life.
When you are in communication with source, you get fed instructions to live a meaningful and virtuous life.
It is a 2 way communication; you ask and you receive.
So don’t stay in that job that is killing you, ask your source to direct you to the right job.
Listen for the instructions on how to do it the supernatural way, and not by your own limited powers.
I am telling you from personal experience, this works.
I receive instructions every morning either in bed before I rise, during meditation or sometimes later in the day. I act on my inspirations and they always produce fruit. And because I act on them, I keep receiving more. If you don’t act on your gut instinct, your gut instincts will stop coming.
The bible teaches us not to do anything in your own strength! With God all things are possible.
Everything begins with our relationship with God and the improved quality of other relationships that develop out of this. In the intimacy of such a personal relationship, something of God’s own character gradually spills over into ours; it stimulates our transformation. From our new awareness and knowing that God loves us, comes an increased confidence and boldness to face life’s challenges and opportunities. It motivates and empowers us to take more risks. It becomes the platform for a whole new approach to courageous and virtuous living.
God said “Be fruitful and multiply, and repopulate the earth”
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward”
Can you truly have lived a meaningful and virtuous life if you have not multiplied yourself?
In the bible age, women who were barren were believed to be cursed.
In today’s age bearing a child is still considered one of the most rewarding and sought after experiences in life.
God hardwired unconditional love to the mother. A love that transforms hearts, an energy that is quantum, that means it can be felt over great distances just by thinking of your child.
I can tell you that the birth of my 2 children were the most meaningful things I did in my life. They are my reward, a gift that keeps on giving and giving.
The second question Dr Kalanitht asked as he faced his morality was:
“How do you nurture your child to live life, as yours fades away”
You see Dr Kalanitht and his wife decided to accept God’s plan for them to be fruitful and multiply.
They decided to leave a legacy behind, so they had a baby together.
The thought of leaving behind a child only increased the pain for Dr. Kalanitht.
We would all agree that leaving behind loved ones is the most painful part of death.
That is why we must live each day like it is your last.
You must impart all the love, knowledge and wisdom into your children when you are alive, so as they grow older, they would not depart from it and you will live on in their thoughts and hearts.
Be of Service to your community:
Your Success is in direct proportion to your service.
We must put the fuel in before we get heat.
No man can get rich by himself, unless he enriches the lives of others.
To lead you must first serve.
Your purpose in life will always include service to others.
Serving at the Ronald McDonald House
There’s a special connection that comes with preparing meals for others too heartbroken to cook for themselves. Making those dinners with a group of volunteers brings an intimacy and humility that cannot be matched. And one of the best spots I know to do that is at the Ronald McDonald House in Falls Church, Va., a place that offers comfort, refuge and care for families whose children are battling life-threatening illnesses.
Jarun Brown and Beverly Johnson prepare a meal at the Ronald McDonald House in Falls Church, Va.
Jarun Brown, 64, chops broccoli as we create a salad for 14 family members staying at the House. A social worker and former McDonald’s executive, she once “danced for a minute” with the Alvin Ailey Dance Company. Her previous corporate position earned her a seat on the Ronald McDonald House Charities (RMHC) board in Norfolk, Va., and she began volunteering with the Falls Church Ronald McDonald House six years ago.
“We do whatever is needed,” Brown says of the volunteers’ work. That could mean cooking a meal, cleaning the house, rotating refrigerated food or writing thank-you notes. Although volunteers and families don’t often stay in touch after leaving the House, Brown has kept in contact with a few families over the years. “It’s great to hear how our families are doing, and learn about the children’s recovery process,” she says.
Erin Petri, the evening manager, joins us. I give her an onion to chop and hope she doesn’t cry. A few minutes later another volunteer, Beverly Johnson, comes in. Volunteering with RMHC was on her bucket list after suffering the loss of a child years ago. A place like the Ronald McDonald House would have been helpful to her.
“I can relate [to what the families are experiencing] and that’s what makes it so special and so rewarding to me,” she says as she chops apples.
The families begin to enter the dining room. Several of them are drawn to the aroma of pineapple chicken simmering on the stovetop. We finish the broccoli salad and set it on the counter, next to the stove with the chicken and rice. It smells delicious and comforting, and we are happy that we have given these families what may be the only positive event for them that day.
Johnson offers to clean up, and I happily accept. “It is good therapy for me,” she says of her Ronald McDonald House work. “I think I’ve found my niche.”
Effective Time Management
The key to a stress-free life is effective time management.
If you are always working in red zone of deadline you will experience burnout.
Effective time management is scheduling your day to work on top priority tasks before you work on C or D priority tasks.
When you do this, you will eliminate stress.
Effective time management also means that you plan your days to include the things that give life meaning. Walking in nature, exercise, reading, sitting quietly to reflect or meditate, spending quality time with loved ones, and proper rest.
Getting quality sleep, good nutrition, and exercise
Physical exercise releases endorphins, improves sleep, prevents diseases, releases stress, prevents dementia, prolongs life….
I could go on and on.
Everybody knows that exercise is good for your body, mind, and soul; yet few do it.
Since our topic today is When breathe becomes air: How to live a virtuous and meaningful life.
I think everybody reading this would want to live a quality life. One that includes being healthy and independent.
The most effective way to ensure this is to get regular exercise, adequate nutrition and proper rest
In his book “The Eat to Live Plan” John Fuhrman MD says, our body’s are designed for wellness. Give it the right biochemical environment for healing and it becomes a miraculous self-healing machine. When you eat mostly high-nutrient foods, the body ages slower and is armed to prevent and reverse many common illnesses, like diabetes.
The exercise prescription.
Exercise is extremely important. Almost everyone can do something, even those who cannot walk can do arm, abdominal, and back exercises with light weights or use an arm cycle. Exercise will facilitate your weight loss and make you healthier. Vigorous exercise has a powerful effect on promoting longevity.
Spend quality time with loved ones
In human affairs, there are efforts, and there are results.
The strength of the effort is the measure of the result. We know this to be a fact.
If you studied for your test, you will get a better grade.
If you make more sales calls, you will get more sales; if you spend quality time with your spouse, you will have a better marriage, if you spend quality time with your kids, they wouldn’t act out looking for attention.
Invest in your relationships. Joel Osteen says that if you want your relationships to thrive, you must invest in them.
Be a giver rather than a taker. Strive to make deposits into the lives of your loved ones and other peoples lives. Encourage them, build them up, and help them to feel better about themselves.
One of the best advice I received on my wedding day, was to look at my marriage as a bank account. Don’t make withdrawals if I made no deposits”
Joel Osteen says the same thing.
Look at your relationships as an “emotional bank account” Every time you interact with loved ones or friends, you are either making a deposit or a withdrawal from your account.
You make deposits in the lives of your loved ones by giving them a hug and a kiss, telling them how much you love them, spending quality time with them, listening to them when they speak or being involved in the things they love like playing the piano, sports, painting etc.
We make withdrawals when we don’t take time for people, we don’t keep our commitments, when we don’t express appreciation. When we make more withdrawals than deposits our account becomes overdrawn.
The bible says in Ecclesiastes 5:3
The dream comes through much effort and the voice of a fool through many words.
Having a meaning and virtuous life comes through much effort. You can’t just have the knowledge and don’t put it into action, you can’t just talk about wanting to live a meaningful life and not put the effort in.
Having a fulfilling career takes effort. You must learn the skills and then work hard to move up through the corporate ladder or building your own business.
Having a relationship with God takes the effort to find time to meditate and listen for instructions.
Being a good parent takes a lot of effort. Someone else is depending on you.
Being of service to your community takes supreme effort. Who has the time you ask? But something happens when you help the less fortunate. When you work at the soup kitchen and feed the hungry; you find your humanity. All your pedilly problems seems insignificant.
It takes effort to manage your time effectively, and not become reactionary.
It takes effort to make sure you are eating a balanced diet and taking supplements. It takes effort to get up early to exercise or do it after a long day. But if you want to live a long and meaningful life, you will do it.
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