If you do not take control of your, emotional intelligence, and thoughts, they will repeat in cycles. We have over 70,000 thoughts per day and 90% of these thoughts repeat over and over. That is why people get stuck in life, reliving the past like Groundhog day.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. There are five key elements to EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
Jenny R. Craig, LCSW, BCD is a, transformation, specialist, utilizing her expertise in assisting leaders in creating authentic, profound, long-lasting impact in their organizations and personal lives.
Emotional intelligence, is important because, Strategic planning, does not kick in until the mid-twenties.
Also any huge trauma changes the way the brain works.
As a, transformation, coach we give our clients tools and techniques that can move them through the darkness of being stuck in rewind, and into the light. The light is to find out your true purpose and discover who you really are.
Emotional Intelligence, allows you to do the mental work in living a purposeful life.
Here are four traits of Emotional Intelligence:
* Self Awareness: Knowing what we are feeling and why we are feeling this way.
Self awareness definition: They said that self-awareness is the ability to look inward, think deeply about your behavior, and consider how it aligns with your moral standards and values. When your behavior is out of alignment with your standards, you feel uncomfortable, unhappy and negative.
* Self Management: Handling distressing emotions so that they don't cripple you. Self-management, which is also referred to as “self-control” or “self-regulation,” is the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations.
* Empathy: Knowing what someone else is feeling. Being capable of walking in another man's shoes. Empathy is generally described as the ability to take on another's perspective, to understand, feel and possibly share and respond to their experience. There are more definitions of empathy that include but is not limited to social, cognitive, and emotional processes primarily concerned with understanding others
* Skilled Relationships: There is not a better barometer of, emotional intelligence, than the quality of one's relationships. When you put the top three skills together, you will have quality and healthy relationships.
Emotional intelligence, refers, to the ability to identify and manage one’s own, emotions, as well as the, emotions, of others.
Emotional intelligence, is generally said to include at least three skills:
emotional awareness,
the ability to identify and name one’s own, emotions
the ability to harness those, emotions, and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving
the ability to manage, emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own, emotions, when necessary and helping others to do the same.
There is no validated, emotional intelligence test.
Test for, emotional intelligence, looks for the general intelligence factor—and many argue that, emotional intelligence, is therefore not an actual construct, but a way of describing interpersonal skills that go by other names.
Despite this criticism, the concept of, emotional intelligence, sometimes referred to as emotional quotient or EQ—has gained wide acceptance. In recent years, some employers have even incorporated, emotional intelligence tests, into their application and interview processes, on the theory that someone high in, emotional intelligence, would make a better leader or coworker.
Conclusion
I am grateful that you have tuned into this podcast from all around the world. I believe that the spirit of God has attracted you here so that you can receive the insights, revelations and knowledge revealed on this broadcast. Whatever you need for this day in your life you will receive. I can truly say that your life will never be the same because a brain that has been expanded with knowledge can never return to it's original size. I invite you to subscribe to this podcast so that you will receive new podcasts every week with more insights, revelations and knowledge so that you can live your best life now.
Visit me on the web at www.myrnayounghelps.com and sign up for a free strategy session.
Are you an, Entrepreneur, or thinking of becoming an, Entrepreneur? Can you guess your, startup IQ? Would you like to know if you are naturally gifted with Entrepreneurship Intelligence or you will have to work harder than most? Silicon Valley have the answer for you. They have a test to find out your, startup IQ.
Owning your own business gives you a sense of freedom and empowerment. You can build things and watch them grow.
Entrepreneurs, make decisions for themselves, realize their creative visions, and develop lasting relationships with other entrepreneurs, customers, and vendors.
It’s a great way to live. But your need an entrepreneur's, IQ, to be good at starting and running a successful business.
Here are a few natural traits that predict Startup IQ.
• Openness – A high openness score means you are open minded. You listen to the ideas of others and are willing to learn from them. Sam Walton built the Walmart Empire by learning from his competitors. This is your first, IQ test.
• Conscientiousness – Doing what is right. Integrity and honesty fit into this natural ability and, IQ, as well. Conscientious Entrepreneurs, run their companies diligently, solving their customers problems. This is your second, IQ, test.
• Extroversion – We have heard a lot about extroversion as it relates to successful CEO’s and startup, IQ. True in order to sell, you must like people and be comfortable around them; but as an, Entrepreneur, you shouldn't go it alone. You should create a team. If you are not a natural extrovert, hire a front line sales person. Bill Gates is an introvert so you could be wildly successful even if you don't have this natural ability.
• Agreeableness – Are you compassionate, warm and considerate? This is a necessary, IQ test. People do business with people they like. Agreeableness does not mean you must be nice all the time. As a business owner you must be able to also be straightforward with customers and employees and to replace the ones who do not conform to your mission.
• Neuroticism – A good indication of Entrepreneurial, startup IQ, success is to score low on the neuroticism test. Neuroticism is defined as the tendency of an individual to experience negative emotions such as anxiety, hostility, depression, impulsiveness and vulnerability. Entrepreneurs, Managers and Leaders must be emotionally stable, self-confident, calm in the presence of chaos, even tempered and relaxed.
• Fluid Intelligence – This refers to the ability to rapidly learn and apply a rule. Entrepreneurs, deal with different issues all day. As a start-up, entrepreneur, they wear many different hats. The ability to switch from one issue to another is very important and is a skill that cannot be learned. Fluid Intelligence, is considered the most revealing test for, success. If you get stuck and can’t switch roles, you cannot lead and become an Enterprise.
The startup IQ test
As an, Entrepreneur, I agree with this predictive startup, IQ test.
As your Success and Entrepreneurial Coach, the foundation of my coaching practice is creating self-awareness and, business consciousness. I have seen passion override natural ability; so go for it.
As an, entrepreneur, you’ll be inundated with your, business, needing to take care of it all the time. So when you have some leisure time, you might be tempted to read fiction or books for entertainment.
Instead, I encourage you to read case studies. Read biographies of successful, entrepreneurs, who had a high startup, IQ. Read everything you can get your hands on about those who have already been successful.
There’s always something to learn from those who have already done it.
I especially think it’s important to learn from the mistakes of others. If you learn from their mistakes, you won’t have to make those mistakes yourself.
And if you do make mistakes yourself, definitely learn from those.
Building a successful entrepreneurial business can seem daunting, and that’s OK. Building a business from the ground up is a massive undertaking.
Here is a foolproof tactic: Break it down.
Any problem that seems insurmountable, break it down into baby steps.
Once you’ve broken it down into baby steps, take them one at a time. Before you know it, just by placing one foot in front of the other, you’ll be halfway up the mountain.
With grit and perseverance, baby steps will get you far toward becoming a successful, entrepreneur.
The life of a successful, entrepreneur, can feel scattered and disjointed, but it’s important to limit your time spent multitasking.
Research has shown time and time again that multitasking doesn’t work. Humans aren’t capable of it.
And yes, multitasking includes being distracted by your phone and email tabs. Close them and put them away.
Learn to focus and take time to do just one task. Giving one task your full attention will mean that you’re more likely to get it done and do it well.
It’s also important to know that too many tasks on your to-do list can make you ineffective and distracted.
Learn to focus your to-do list on the tasks that you’re capable of finishing in the amount of time you’ve allotted for them.
For example, each night, set the three tasks that you’ll complete the following day. And each month, set the overarching goal for your company that you want to achieve in the next 30 days.
These techniques can help you to learn how to focus and more effectively manage your business, building your, business IQ.
Welcome to the Mindset Transformation radio show and Podcast. Today Dr. Marcia Reynolds is going to teach us “4 Techniques to, Outsmart your Brain” Relax, Detach, gain clarity and ask yourself, How do I want to feel?
But First in keeping with that theme I want to share with you one of the classic stories of how our Brain can Outsmart us.
Acres of Diamonds
There once lived not far from the River Indus an ancient Persian by the name of Al Hafed. Al Hafed owned a very large farm with orchards, grain fields and gardens. He was a contented and wealthy man—contented because he was wealthy, and wealthy because he was contented. One day there visited this old farmer one of those ancient Buddhist priests, and he sat down by Al Hafed's fire and told that old farmer how this world of ours was made.
He said that this world was once a mere bank of fog and the Almighty thrust his finger into the bank of fog and then began slowly to move his finger around and gradually to increase the speed of his finger until at last he whirled that bank of fog into a solid ball of fire, and it went rolling through the universe, burning its way through other cosmic banks of fog, until it condensed the moisture without, and fell in floods of rain upon the heated surface and cooled the outward crust.
Then the internal flames burst through the cooling crust and threw up the mountains and made the hills and the valleys of this wonderful world of ours. If this internal melted mass burst out and cooled very quickly it became granite; that which cooled less quickly became silver; and less quickly, gold; and after gold, diamonds were made. Said the old priest, “A, diamond, is a congealed drop of sunlight.”
Finding your diamonds in your back yard
This is a scientific truth also. You all know that a diamond is pure carbon, actually deposited sunlight. The old priest told Al Hafed that if he had a handful of diamonds he could purchase a whole country, and with a mine of diamonds he could place his children upon thrones through the influence of their great wealth.
Al Hafed heard all about, diamonds, and how much they were worth, and went to his bed that night a poor man—not that he had lost anything, but poor because he was discontented and discontented because he thought he was poor. He said: “I want a mine of, diamonds!” So he lay awake all night, and early in the morning sought out the priest.
Reminds me of the story I tell my children about the dog and his shadow. If you are not familiar, a dog is walking over a bridge and sees another dog with a bone. He decides he wants that bone as well and jumps in and loses the bone he has in his mouth because what he saw was not another dog but his own shadow. It is a story of discontent and greed!
Getting back to our story. Al Hafed woke the priest out of his dreams and said to him, “Will you tell me where I can find, diamonds?” The priest said, “Diamonds? What do you want with diamonds?” “I want to be immensely rich,” said Al Hafed, “but I don't know where to go.” “Well,” said the priest, “if you will find a river that runs over white sand between high mountains, in those sands you will always see, diamonds.”
“Do you really believe that there is such a river asked al Hafed?” The priest replied “Plenty of them, plenty of them; all you have to do is just go and find them, then you have them.” Al Hafed said, “I will go.” So he sold his farm, collected his money at interest, left his family in charge of a neighbor, and away he went in search of diamonds.
He began at the Mountains of the Moon. Afterwards he went around into Palestine, then wandered on into Europe, and at last, when his money was all spent, and he was in rags, wretchedness and poverty, he stood on the shore of that bay in Barcelona, Spain, when a tidal wave came rolling in through the Pillars of Hercules and the poor, afflicted, suffering man could not resist the awful temptation to cast himself into that incoming tide, and he sank beneath its foaming crest, never to rise in this life again.
Now, Al Hafed's successor one day led his camel out into the garden to drink, and as that camel put its nose down into the clear water of the garden brook Al Hafed's successor noticed a curious flash of light from the sands of the shallow stream, and reaching in he pulled out a black stone having an eye of light that reflected all the colors of the rainbow, and he took that curious pebble into the house and left it on the mantel, then went on his way and forgot all about it.
A few days after that, this same old priest who told Al Hafed how diamonds were made, came in to visit his successor, when he saw that flash of light from the mantel. He rushed up and said, “Here is a, diamond,—here is a diamond! Has Al Hafed returned?” “No, no; Al Hafed has not returned and that is not a diamond; that is nothing but a stone; we found it right out here in our garden.” “But I know a, diamond, when I see it,” the priest said; “this is a diamond!”
Then together they rushed to the garden and stirred up the white sands with their fingers and found others more beautiful, more valuable, diamonds, than the first, and thus were discovered the diamond mines of Golconda, the most magnificent diamond mines in all the history of mankind, exceeding the Kimberley in its value. The great Kohinoor diamond in England's crown jewels and the largest crown diamond on earth in Russia's crown jewels came from that mine.
The moral to the story is had Al Hafed remained at home and dug in his own cellar or in his own garden he would have had, acres of diamonds.
We are all, Acres of Diamonds, Each and every one of us is unique with acres of talent and gifts. If we dig we will find them. Don’t be like Al Hafed and go looking for riches elsewhere. You are all, diamonds, in the rough.
Now let me tell you a little more of our guest today.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds is fascinated by the, brain, especially how to, outsmart your brain, what sparks feelings of connection, commitment, and possibility. She is able to draw on her research to help leaders have more meaningful conversations that inspire change. She has delivered workshops in 35 countries and has presented at the Harvard Kennedy School, Cornell University, and the Edwards School of Management in Canada.
Marcia is a true pioneer in the coaching profession. She was the 5th global president of the International Coach Federation and is the training director for the Healthcare Coaching Institute at Virginia Tech. She also teaches for coaching schools in Russia and China.
Interviews and excerpts from her books, Outsmart Your Brain, Wander Woman, and her latest, The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations into Breakthroughs have appeared in many places including Fast Company, CNN.com, Psychology Today, and The Wall Street Journal and she has appeared on ABC World News.
Marcia’s doctoral degree is in organizational psychology with an emphasis on the needs of strong, smart women in today’s corporations. She also holds two master’s degrees in education and communications.
Show Notes:
• What do mean by, Outsmart your brain.
The primary purpose of the, brain, is to protect you and to keep you safe.
Anytime you say something to someone that is critical they get defensive and they get defensive without thought. To, outsmart your brain, is really about making good choices. Stopping and asking what is my, brain, perceiving here and what is really true. You have to know how to stop, breathe and make good choices.
You have to shift your emotions. Take 10 sec to remember to care, take 10 sec to realize that this person is not trying to hurt me.
You have to change your emotion to change your thought to, outsmart your brain.
Here are the 4 Techniques to change your emotions and outsmart your brain.
1. Relax your body, release the tension. Take a breath let it out
2. Clear your mind. Quickly drop your mind to the center of your body
3. Center your mind on your Chi or 2nd Chakra
4. Choose how you want to feel.
• What prompts your brain to do things that sabotage your best intentions
The brain perceives a threat to something so it protects you.
If you are afraid it sees danger and sabotages your efforts.
• Is there something we can do to stop reacting?
You have to understand your emotions triggers.
They are there to protect you.
Like respect in the workplace.
The, brain, reacts because it may think that someone is trying to take control over you
• How can we use our heart and brain to control our emotions?
Quiet your mind and ask your mind or gut. What should I do?
Take a breath and go into your heart and then you usually say something better
When your heart and your gut is open then you have access to all three of your brains
Your brain, your heart and your gut.
• Are the brains of men and women wired differently?
We are born with the same wiring but whatever is rewarded as we aged that is what we become. Women were more head and gut based and men were more head based but that is changing.
Men are becoming more heart based because they are being raised by women.
