In this blog post, I'm going to discuss the concept of betrayal and how to identify and deal with enemies within your camp. Betrayal can have a serious impact on your life, and it's important to be aware of it so you can protect yourself. I'm going to share with you the steps you need to take to identify and deal with enemies within your camp. Sometimes those you trust or depend on may have hidden motives or conflicting interests. In this blog, coach Myrna shares how to be vigilant and be aware of potential threats even in your camp.
How many of us have been betrayed by someone we called friend or family? It happens every day, but what makes these betrayals more painful is that we can’t believe that THEY could do this to us.
Mathew 26:14
Then Judas Iscariot, one of the 12 disciples, went to the leading priests and asked “How much will you pay me to betray Jesus to you? And they gave him 30 pieces of silver. From that time on, Judas began looking for an opportunity to betray Jesus.
So, Jesus enemy was in his own camp, one of his very disciples who was supposed to worship him. This reminds me of a quote my grandmother used to say often.
Your best friend can become your worst enemy.
I am sure many of you listening have experienced this personally that someone you call friend or brother or sister or spouse betrays you with no provocation other than jealousy.
Jesus was there working his purpose and healing the sick and one of his disciples seeks out his enemies and asked them what would you pay me to betray Jesus and then he returned as one of the disciples pretending to be his follower while waiting for his opportunity to betray Jesus.
That is what happens when your best friend sleeps with your man. All the time she is pretending to be your friend she is waiting for the opportunity to stab you in the back and you give it to her when you tell her you and your man are fighting.
Ladies it happens in the men’s camp as well. Men, your best friend is secretly eying up your woman thinking she fine and as soon as there is trouble in paradise, he moves in, especially if you were caught cheating.
Enemies in your camp blood relatives
To me the worst kind of betrayal is when your blood relatives like your brothers or sisters betray you.
I just buried my aunt last week. Her life was never the same after she came home one day and found her sister sleeping with her husband. The pain and the shame were unbearable. I can’t begin to tell you the fallout from that betrayal. He was not even mentioned in her Eulogy. It was like everyone wanted to erase his memory from her life.
If you can stand to think of what happened to you, face your family member. They may deny or avoid the questions but do it anyway. In short, I can tell you this: You are not the problem, they are. Family members who betray are dealing with something inside themselves, not really a problem with you.
That is what is happening in your house when we have, spousal betrayal. Everybody is pretending to be someone in front of your face and betraying you behind your back.
Jesus was all knowing. He knew that Judas was going to betray him. It was all part of God’s plan.
But he said that Judas would wish he was dead after his betrayal and he did. That is why he threw away the 30 pieces of silver and killed himself. The enemies in your camp never get the satisfaction they wanted after betraying you, but what the enemy meant for evil, God turns it around for your good. That is how you need to look at the betrayal from friends and family members. God is using their evil for your good.
Conclusion
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna.
Please leave a comment or share your experiences with betrayal on the YouTube video. Namaste
In this podcast episode, I'm talking with Dr. Will Cole about the, gut brain connection, and how your gut feelings, can affect your brain. Dr. Cole is a world-renowned functional medicine practitioner and health advisor to Gwyneth Paltrow. He is an expert in the field of, cellular health, and inflammation, and he has some amazing insights to share with you about the connection between how you eat and how you feel. If you're curious about the, gut brain connection, and how your, gut feelings, can affect your overall health, then this podcast episode is for you! Dr. Cole discusses the relationship between your gut and brain in detail and explains how you can use this knowledge to improve your health and well-being.
Dr Will Cole Health advisor to Gwyneth Paltrow top functional medicine practitioner in New York Times best-selling author has dedicated his career to teaching people to apply skepticism to National Trends and instead pay closer attention to their own intuition his new book “Gut Feelings Healing the Shame Fueled Relationship Between What you Eat and What you Feel” and how you feel sorry demystifies the gut brain connection and provides a framework to prepare the relationship between what you eat and how you feel .
Named one of the top 50 functional and integrated doctors in the nation Dr Will Cole provides a functional medicine approach for thyroid issues, autoimmune conditions, hormonal imbalances ,digestive disorders, and brain problems. He's the host of “Art of the Being Well” podcast and the author of ” Ketotarian the Information Spectrum” and the New York Times bestseller “Intuitive Fasting”
Myrna: I have followed you for years on Instagram and Facebook but a few months ago you know I'm always on YouTube I have a YouTube channel so I saw your Ad about, cellular health, and I thought it was so great that I wanted to sign up for the webinar on autoimmune conditions and cellular inflammation. I signed up for your, health assessment, where they sent me a kit to check my inflammation levels.
Can you introduce yourself by telling our audience um you know how you became to be one of the top 50 functional medicine doctors the doctor of Gwyneth Paltrow and maybe you can introduce us to what you do with helping clients get rid of their, cellular inflammation.
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Dr Cole: we've been in Telehealth for the 13 for 13 plus years like that's been our day job and my passion and my heart is to really be a part of people's Health journey and figure out why they're struggling with their health issues right so that's our main focus and from that the passion and that sacred responsibility that I hold for our Telehealth patients comes the books in the podcast like all of that Springs from that so thank you for I honor I'm honestly honored that you have to be a part of your health journey and I take that extremely seriously and as I mentioned like we've we started within the first functional medicine Telehealth centers 13 plus years ago
We have several ways that we serve Telehealth patients we have our one-on-one Telehealth concierge which is one-on-one private sessions, and then we have the, autoimmune Health reset, that we launched years ago like three years ago at this point to enhance or level up the amount of people we can support. The urine test reveals inflammation which is the commonality between just about every health problem Under the Sun.
Inflammation and insulin resistance
I mean autoimmune problems are inflammatory metabolic issues like trouble losing weight, insulin resistance, type 2 diabetes, PCOS polycystic ovarian syndrome, which is driven by, insulin resistance, and other hormonal problems to digestive problems you mentioned musculoskeletal inflammation issues to even things like fatigue and anxiety and depression are all inflammatory there's a whole field of research called the cytokine model of cognitive function cytokines are pro-inflammatory cells.
Researchers exploring in the scientific literature how does inflammation impact how our brain works. How does inflammation impact mental health so what one of the ways we measure inflammation is that urine tests, but we also run blood tests like high sensitivity C-reactive protein homocysteine levels. These are just objective data points to show people their Baseline. What's driving the inflammation in both physiological and psychological components is underlying, gut health.
75 percent of your, immune system, resides so there's a lot of gut-centric components to inflammation that could impact your joints, going to impact your mental health it could impact your hormones and impact your blood sugar that we need to calm down so what you embarked on through that group Telehealth model was us to calm down these root causes of inflammation so people can live the life they were created for.
Also natural medicines biohacking different tools mind-body practices trauma work to really deal with what's causing that dysregulation of their immune system which is what chronic inflammation is. Inflammation is not inherently bad, it's a product of the immune system.
Gut brain connection and the vagus nerve
Myrna: I've always known about the, gut brain connection, and the, leaky gut, but I've been learning specifically about you know things getting through the lining and causing inflammation and and I see now where you know the gut is the main resource which is mitochondria and all these different things. Can you talk about the, gut brain connection.
Dr Cole: I mentioned that inflammation is a product of the immune system 75 % to about two-thirds of the immune system resides in the gut or originates in the gut so to understand inflammation you want to look at where the predominance of the immune system resides. But not just from an immune inflammatory standpoint, but also from a, brain health ,standpoint. The gut and brain are actually formed from the same fetal tissue so when babies are growing in their mother's womb the gut and brain are formed .
Serotonin a neurotransmitter is made in the gut and stored in the gut. Fifty percent of dopamine, the pleasure neurotransmitter is made and stored in the gut. The vagus nerve which is the largest cranial nerve in the body these neurotransmitters as we understand it today are made in the gut don't pass through the blood-brain barrier but what they do is crosstalk to the brain through the vagus nerve.
Parasympathetic response and the vagus nerve
So when you hear these conversations that are happening more and more around a dysregulated nervous system what we're actually talking about here is an overactive sympathetic state of that fight, flight or freeze stressed inflamed State and an under active parasympathetic that resting digesting hormone balance date both are important just like inflammation there's nothing inherently wrong with the sympathetic response it's meant to protect that us and it does protect us but it's meant to come up and overact and then calm down when the threat is removed.
Most people are in a state of nervous system dysregulation that it's just always on the sympathetic response is always on to varying degrees and that as you're an underactive resting digesting meaning calm anti-anxiety normal, gut health, normal digestive response. This has to do with what's called the nervous system it's the neuro-aminoendocrine axis so the intersection between our nervous system the endocrine system.
Myrna: How does the gut influence your hormone production or depression? Can you bridge the gap on inflammation as the commonality between all these health problems?
Dr Cole: But the word there the key word is commonality meaning it's the common link but something's causing the inflammation so what's Upstream to the inflammation because if inflammation's not inherently bad we're just talking about dysregulated chronic inflammation, that forest fire that's burning perpetuity for people that's impacting their mental health and their physical health and their hormones and their digestion and their pain levels and their energy levels.
We look at what's causing the inflammation. It's like the check engine light, so if the check engine light's on in your car you don't just keep under driving and cover up the check engine light and act like it's not on. Let's do some Diagnostics to see why that check engine light is on, so that's what we do in functional medicine. So I talk about this in the book at both physiological and psychological drivers of inflammation, so both approaches have to be looked at.
Gut Feelings: The gut brain connection
So underlying gut problems nutrient deficiencies chronic infections like we deal with mold toxicity or chronic lyme disease or environmental toxins those physiological things will impact inflammation, impact our mood and all that stuff it can impact the anxiety depression automate everything on the psychological side. The Chronic infections environmental toxins will can trigger that for some people that have genetic predispositions for autoimmunity, but on a psychological thing side of things.
That's why in part why I called the book, gut feelings, it's gut and feelings it's a physiological and the psychological the physical and the mental emotional spiritual. Those things can trigger the, gut brain connection, things like unresolved trauma and chronic stress and something that I call in the book shame formation. Because our body is a cellular library and our thoughts and our words our emotions our experiences will impact the expression of our biochemistry.
Myrna: I've had several um people on the show talk about childhood trauma results in autoimmune conditions so I'm getting the connection now so that's amazing.
Alcohol and the gut brain connection
Myrna: You say that alcohol affects our, gut brain connection. Are you including red wine as alcohol?
Dr Cole: I'm including red wine in this bucket, so you could make the argument that there's some Redemptive qualities for wine right because it has it Resveratrol which is like antioxidant yeah so you know and it has like polyphenols like other antioxidants in it because it's from like the grapes that is true but actually this compelling amount of data that shows you need to drink an obscene amount of wine to get like to a great therapeutic dose.
Now you can make the other argument towards alcohol and say well couldn't it be alcohol is a hormetic effect in the body it's like a hormesis is a term that means like a good stressor on the body that makes the cells more resilient so fasting is a harmonic effect high intensity interval training is a hermetic effect cold therapy sauna these are all hormatic effects in the body. Let's do some high intention interval training, that's healthier forms of hermesis than this alcohol . Then supplement with Resveratrol or drink some eat some fruits and vegetables.
Myrna: I've heard time and time again about the benefits of red wine my husband is an avid Red Wine Drinker and I just picked it up again like a couple weeks ago because because I heard about the benefits of red wine.
Dr Cole: I need to talk to your husband .
Myrna: So you have a 21 day gut feeling plan designed to help your clients heal can you talk to us about that what's in that plan.
Dr Cole: I adapted the plan in the book based off of different tools that we Implement into our Telehealth patients lives into their protocols so for this book every day of the 21 days there's a gut and a Feeling tool. So there's a physiological and a psychological gut day. We could do a little bit of what you did during that autoimmune Health reset, we focus on soups and stews which is a great way to support that ,gut brain access, that microbiome mood axis to also lower inflammations, which is where two-thirds of the immune system resides.
So this is nothing new to our Landscapes humans right you look at any traditional Society they use soups and stews lots of times right I mean just every day let alone when somebody's sick or therapeutically you know that cliche of chicken noodle soup it's not the noodles that we're helping people it was the broths and the vegetables that were cooked down it was the proteins that were cooked and easy to digest so there's something healing about that on many levels for people.
So it's born as a protocol that we we modify for patients based on what's relevant to them we modify what's called a gaps protocol a it's an acronym gaps it stands for gut and psychology syndrome or gut and Physiology syndrome which is the gut brain Axis or the gut immune Axis or like chronic autoimmune problems so it's used clinically with different applications for different purposes. So I give soup recipes and broth recipes in the book to support that, gut brain immune access, over the course of the 21 days.
On the feelings side, my favorite science back tools that I've seen really work in patients lives also the research is so exciting so things like breath work and the history of breath work and breath work practices that helps to regulate the nervous system, strengthening the vagal tone. A lot of the plan is actually improving vagal tone, most people have a weak vagus nerve they're resting digesting the system is weak they have anxiety inflammation and poor digestion.
We're actually helping to support and strengthen so food on the physiological side on the gut side of that, gut feeling, crosstalk will help to improve vagal tone because the more you lower inflammation the more you support gut from gut health from a nutrition standpoint will improve vagal tone but on a psychological side we need to implement things like breath work to strengthen the vagus nerve to regulate that nervous system.
Strengthening the vagus nerve
Myrna: I do a lot of meditation on the vagus nerve because everything happens when you relax and that is one way I help myself relax and I do you know breath work meditation, I wasn't aware that you can strengthen the vagus nerve so this is new information for me.
Myrna: Your book Gut Feelings: Healing the Shame-Fueled Relationship Between What You Eat and How You Feel is on Amazon so tell us how people can get in contact with you your website social media
Dr Cole: Everything's at Drwillcole.com all the links to everything we talked about in today's conversation are there, so are the links to the Telehealth Center. We have new Telehealth patient options now open a the autoimmune Health reset is one of them but lab information people can run Labs. The links to the books are there Gut Feelings, Intuitive fasting, The inflammation spectrum and Ketotarian the links to the podcast The Art of Being Well. I have a new episode every week. I'm on Instagram @Drwillcole same with Facebook Tic Tock.
In this blog post, I'm going to talk about the dangers of relying on your feelings. I think a lot of people rely on their feelings to guide them through life, but this isn't always the best way to go.
This is illustrated in the bible story of Jacob and Essau. In the bible story of Isaac Jacob and Essau. Isaac told Essau to go out and find something wild and cook it the way I like it, then I am going to bless you. But Rebecca, Esau’s mother cooked up a scheme to fool Isaac because he was blind and could not see.
She went into the back yard and killed something that was not wild and cooked it to make it taste like something wild and gave it to Jacob to take to his father. When Jacob told her that his brother was hairy and he had smooth skin. His mother glued animal skin to his arms so he would feel like his brother. This story shows the dangers of relying on your feelings.
God expects you to do something before he blesses you
As a follow up thought, I want you to know that before God blesses you, you have to do something. He is not going to bless you if you sit on the couch and pray. He is going to tell you to go look for work, go fill out applications. If you are praying for a spouse he is going to tell you to go to the watering hole to find this man. Don’t expect to sit on the couch and this man will knock on your door. God also wants to bless you when you take risks and be wild. Isaac told Essau to go hunting for something wild, cook it the way I like and then I will bless you.
But Rebecca, Esau’s mother cooked up a scheme to fool Isaac because he was blind and could not see. She went into the back yard and killed something that was not wild and cooked it to make it taste like something wild and gave it to Jacob to take to his father. When Jacob told her that his brother was hairy and he had smooth skin. His mother glued animal skin to his arms so he would feel like his brother.
Which is the lesson for today. Sometimes your feelings lie, so don’t always trust your feelings. Do a deep dive into the situation. Gather all the facts.
Your feelings will convince you they are coming back even though they have clearly moved on.
Ignore your feelings and trust your spirit
Your spirit is stronger than your flesh
Be honest with yourself
Why are you still with that man? It is because of how he makes you feel.
You can’t be with somebody just because of how they make you feel
Jacob felt like his brother, but he didn’t sound like your brother.
When he spoke his father noticed the difference. He said you feel like Jacob but you don’t sound like him.
Don’t get caught up in how that man makes you feel, listen to what he says and how he says it. Because out of the mouth the heart speaks.
Listen to what people are saying: Don't just trust your feelings
Is he talking about the future or is he talking about himself. You have to watch for the disconnect between the feelings and the voice.
Isaacs realized that the feelings did not match the voice.
Then he became suspicious and asked. How did you get it so quickly? That is how did you go hunting for something wild and cooked it so quickly.
Jacob lied and said I got it this quickly because of God. God did it. If you do something wild, then that could be your true answer. God did it for me. They told me it was going to take 10 years before I could be a supervisor, but God did it in 3 years.
They ask me, how did your podcast become #1 in the personal development space? How did you get it so quickly with no celebrity guests on your show? How did you get it so quickly as an independent podcaster without a team.
My answer I got so quickly because of God and my mother.
My mother wasn’t the perfect mother, but she taught me how to trust God. She showed me how to work hard and to never give up.
I got it so quickly because I was born to do this. I was anointed by God for this job and the devil knows not to mess with me.
In your daily life, your feelings, thoughts, and attitudes are you order form. The currency you pay for your order to the universe is your belief. You have to establish the feelings the condition you want is already present.
Feelings can be deceiving
Jacob got his blessing by pretending to feel like his brother, but he had to run for his life after that because his brother wanted to kill him.
Isaac could not give Essau his blessing as the first born son because he had already given it to Jacob and he could not take it back. Similarly, when you give yourself to someone because of how they made you feel and then you find out that they tricked you, you can’t take back what you give them already. That is why, never trust your feelings alone, because your feeling can lie to you.
In this blog post, Craig Goldberg, shares how mindfulness can help you reset your nervous system. By using, vibroacoustic therapy, you can achieve a deeper sense of inner calmness and calm your mind. If you're feeling stressed out or anxious, mindfulness combined with sound vibration can help you to reset your nervous system from the sympathetic response to, parasympathetic response.
This podcast episode will teach you some mindfulness hacks that shortcut the meditation process and reset your nervous system. After watching this video, you'll be able to reset your nervous system and feel more at peace using, vibroacoustic therapy.
Reset your nervous system with Vibroacoustic Therapy
Myrna: My guest today is Craig Goldberg. Craig is a relaxation expert and we're going to be talking on the topic how to reset your nervous system with mindfulness. Mindfulness is big for me and that's one of the reasons I invited Craig on the show.
I'm reading the book The Power of the Now by Eckhart Tolle so I am heavily into mindfulness. Let me give you a brief intro. Craig Goldberg is a relaxation expert and technologist on a quest to help Humanity achieve a deeper sense of inner calmness through the use of sound and vibration technology. He is a, vibroacoustic therapy, practitioner and his work is backed by 40 plus years of research showing the many benefits of this type of therapy.
He is also a patented inventor constantly exploring new ways to use sound and vibration to help people reduce stress and anxiety, heal and transform their lives for the better. Craig is passionate about his work and truly believes in its ability to provide a path towards a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
Mindfulness and vibroacoustic therapy
I started off by saying I'm very much into mindfulness. I've had lots of guests on the show talking about mindfulness. I've had lots of guests in the show talk about meditation and the nervous system but I've never had a guest that talked about combining vibration and, Vibroacoustic therapy. Craig can you share your journey into this path and how did you marry the two disciplines together.
Craig: I'm a club kid from New York City, that means I like standing in front of a stack of speakers and feeling the bass all night. When I was a kid and that translated into electronic music and dance and house music and melodic house and that sort of thing. I love feeling the music and and I think that resonates with just about everybody on the planet.
The technology that's inside our furniture is called a tactile transducer otherwise known as a base Shaker inside there is a magnet that magnet is oscillating back and forth a certain number of oscillations per second is a certain hertz frequency so 20 Hertz oscillates that magnet 20 times per second. It creates vibration, that vibration transfers directly to your body. There's an entire body of research that guides and talks about this technology. A gentleman by the name of Olaf's began to research specific frequencies and their impact on our body on our physiology, on our Neurology, on our Anatomy, and on our organs.
What he found is that specifically focusing on 30 Hertz to 120 hertz has a profound impact to calm and relax the nervous system to send messages to every muscle in the body telling it to relax to increase lymphatic drainage, to increase or decrease recovery time, increase our ability to recover faster between workouts. So I found this Magic Carpet Ride if you will in this sound lounge and I became absolutely enamored. The human ear picks up frequencies between 20 Hertz and 20 000 Hertz so 20 000 Hertz obviously being very much on the High Spectrum.
How vibroacoustic therapy works
Vibroacoustic therapy, focuses on 30 Hertz to 120 hertz to further dial that in, that subwoofer that you have in your home stereo system is typically 80 Hertz and below so we're talking about very low frequencies. We're talking about bass, we're talking about vibration. In fact once you get above 100 Hertz you're no longer feeling that frequency, you are hearing it and the reason we feel it is because of these mechanoreceptors that are in our skin that send triggers to the to the brain and that's actually the mechanism of action that's how, vibroacoustic therapy, works.
Vibroacoustic is vibration and sound vibro vibration acoustic is sound so this body of research, vibroacoustic therapy, is really just talking about vibration and sound and its impact on our body. What we found over the last six years of doing this is that when we start doing brain tests brainwave entrainment tests that music harmonizes the brain and brings you into that meditative state, that alpha or Theta brainwave State and has a profound impact on the rest of your body. We teach people how to meditate through sound and vibration, we teach them by guiding or distracting their brain by the music. So our music is very specifically made, it has deep bass notes that are drawn out these long drone notes that entrains the body.
Myrna: Let's talk about the difference between mindfulness and, mindfulness meditation, and meditation because I think they're three different things.
Craig: Mindfulness for me is simply the practice of being mindful of being aware of the impact that your persona, your physical body is having on the world around you. Now meditation for me is slowing down, it's allowing the thoughts to flow through. Just allowing the thoughts to flow through your head that means that your your brain is always thinking. This was a big aha moment for me, your brain doesn't know how to do anything else except think; so the thoughts are always going to be there.
When I first set out to meditate, I thought it was like clear your mind, think of nothing and now I'm just thinking about thinking of nothing and then all the stuff I want to think about starts to come in and it's just one big distraction. No meditation is about just allowing the thoughts to flow, you want to dwell on something and see it through by all means do it.
Mindfulness meditation and sound vibration
Mindfulness meditation, which could be staring at a flame, it could be a mantra or something that you're repeating, it could be an “I am” statement two most powerful words in the English language. I am because whatever follows it you are. I am powerful, I am strong, I am loved, I am safe, brought up a little emotion. These are really powerful and a great mantra for you to come back to to remind the brain that you are all these amazing things.
So, mindfulness meditation, is where our music meditations fall in because sound and vibration is guiding Your Body Mind and Spirit. It is distracting your mind and guiding your mind so your mind is focusing on that meditation. I equate that very much to a mantra or to a staring at a flame or listening to a, guided meditation. I see, mindfulness meditation, as a whole it becomes really powerful.
Myrna: When you talk about mindfulness, I have a different word for that. For instance, I do a, mindfulness meditation, that's only 10 minutes but it's powerful. It's talking about can you feel the blood pumping through your veins, do you feel the temperature of the room, do you feel how your body presses into the seat.
Craig: I mentioned as part of, mindfulness meditation, 100 so there's a part of our brain called the reticular activator system and it's what filters out the world if you will our brain processes four billion stimuli per second, the unconscious mind four billion stimuli per second, the conscious mind four! Since our conscious brain can only handle four things at once, it blocks out the other three billion 996 000. I'll give you a great example, you're shopping for a Ford pickup truck and all of a sudden you see Ford pickup trucks everywhere.
A mindfulness meditation
So, mindfulness meditation, helps you to break down that barrier. We don't walk around feeling your clothing but when you are doing, mindfulness meditation, you become aware of the brush of clothing against your skin or the blood coursing through your veins.
When I'm doing, mindfulness meditation, on my, meditation cushion, or, sound lounge, there are two tactile transducers and the headphones are plugged into the amplifier that's in the back so the vibrations are coming straight up your back, so you're listening to the same things that you're feeling and this creates a three-dimensional fully immersive sound experience that makes you feel as though you're inside the music.
This creates that mild stress that triggers the chemical cascades associated with calm and relax. We are literally shaking every single cell in your body and your body reacts to that by releasing different hormones like serotonin and dopamine. Our sound lounge is a mattress that you lay on, there's a base that's underneath the two and the amplifiers.
There's four tactile transducers inside that bed and it feels like you're on a rocket ship. I call it the Magic Carpet Ride and then we have a third product which is designed specifically for massage therapy to add vibro acoustic therapy or vibration therapy to massage. Chiropractic acupuncture acupressure is a very soothing and beautiful experience.
Myrna: I definitely gonna gonna try your app and start meditating with it. Tell us about your company, we've talked about the, meditation cushion, and sound lounge, tell us about your YouTube channel and where people can find you on social media.
Vibroacoustic sound meditation
Craig: I'm really about optimal Human Performance, I'm really about human optimization and all that is is a fancy word for giving you the best opportunity to be the best possible human being every single day. I want high levels of energy, I want high levels of focus, I want to be a great father, I want to be a great leader in my community, I want to give back. In order to do that, I need strength, I need energy, I need brain capacity. I need all these different things and I'm on a mission to teach people exactly how they can get the most out of life, how they can squeeze the most juice out of that orange and really captivate and move mountains.
For me, vibroacoustic therapy, is a big part of that so we've built obviously an entire business around that called In Harmony Interactive. I understand that our products are an investment. We want more and more people to have access to this technology which is why the app is so accessible and so approachable. You'll find us on all the socials media sites, our website is www.Iaminharmony.com
Myrna: I love the vibration and the music tie to meditation and mindfulness.
Kristina Mand-Lakhiani, co founder of Mindvalley, shares how to become flawesome with radical self acceptance. If you’ve ever felt burdened by perfectionism, pressured to be someone you’re not, and driven to live up to other people’s expectations even if it means concealing your true self, then this podcast episode is for you.
In this episode, Kristina talks about the concepts of perfectionism, flawesome, and self-acceptance. She shares with you her journey of self-discovery and how these concepts have helped her to become flawesome!
Myrna: You are the co-founder of MindValley with Vishen Lakiani. I love Vishen Lakiani I think that you guys do good work and I know the story because I've gone to several of his webinars and read his books. I know the story of how he came about to start MindValley and his journey. So let's talk about you today, why did you begin this personal development company? What motivated and inspired you?
Kristina: I mean you know whether it's the same as Vishen's or not but what is what is the story behind Mindvalley? That question will require a little bit of a background, so the founder of Mindvalley is Vishen Lakiani and by the family name Lakiani you might guess we are related. We used to be married for 16 years, so when Vishen was starting MindValley it was back in 2003.
I had moved to New York, we got married in 2003. I had moved to New York from Europe and I was looking for a job and Vishen had a job and he had a side hustle which became MindValley. I usually say that I ended up in, personal growth, reluctantly and by accident and that's absolutely true. I had nothing better to do but to help Vishen with his side business because he had a full-time job and we depended on his income as a family.
We depended on it so I thought it was the right thing to do, but at that time I would also say, I thought I ended up in, personal growth, reluctantly and obstinately because I was still planning to make my own career somewhere else. I started in the government working in a very different field from, personal growth, so it took years before I accepted my fate.
MindValley is now a top personal growth company
Myrna: I know Vishen's story that his business that he had. I think it was doing websites. You said it was like a, side hustle, that's amazing that the company for anybody that doesn't know about MindValley it's like a top 10 company in, personal growth, in the world.
Kristina: We have grown yes and we have changed since the beginning since 2003 so definitely it's been quite a journey and yeah we do consider ourselves one of the biggest education companies in personal growth and transformation.
Myrna: All right so then you started in your personal journey and according to your personal growth journey I should say and according to your bio you got to work with some of the greats. I'm in the space you know so I know all these different people I love Michael Beckwick. I love his work. I love Bob Proctor and I don't do a lot with Lisa Nichols because she basically teaches you how to be a professional speaker, but I know that you know she has done very well for herself.
So what is one of the greatest lessons you've learned from Michael Beckwith let's just pick one or if you want to use one of the other ones that's in your bio you know it's so hard to be picking uh like one of the greatest lessons from any of the people.
Lesson of self acceptance from Michael Beckwith
Kristina: I probably learned from Michael Beckwith the lesson that I have learned would be a little bit reversed from what you would expect. I'll give you a situation of course I've heard him speak and I've heard his teachings, but the lesson came in a different shape and form. So I started working in, personal growth, and transformation as an entrepreneur and a marketer initially so I got to know all these people as their partner in the sense because we were helping them to get their word out to to other people.
So I wasn't ever their colleague in the sense that I wasn't one of the authors. It happened much later at some point I re-invented myself and my life and it would be a completely different story, but some five six years ago I started going into becoming an author because I was ready. I had embraced, personal growth, and transformation and it was it was quite a few years ago.
I remember I was going on MindValley Stage and we have a very impressive stage and we had a huge audience probably one of my biggest at that time and I was following Michael Beckwith and a few other people and I remember being completely terrified because I felt, who am I to go on stage after all those people? I do actually mention Michael Beckwith in that story because he is such an energetic and such a strong speaker that when you listen to him you're hooked. you're just there and I have a very different style, so I remember going on stage and having this huge impostor syndrome thinking how can I compare.
From impostor syndrome to self acceptance
I can never be as good as Michael Beckwith speaking. I can never be as good as another speaker who was there who had built a massive company. I could never be as good as another speaker there who had written a bestselling book and was super famous. I was comparing myself faster and faster to all those great people and feeling smaller and smaller and smaller until I remembered the words of a friend of mine who said we are so hooked on the idea that we have this one talent that we are forgetting that we are multi-talented.
That actually helped me to suddenly realize that it is not in this one thing where I have to be the best in the world, but in the unique combination of things that make me who I am. That's where probably the biggest value that I have for the world. Michael Beckwith was one person who taught me, self acceptance. There are people who are so much better, so much more accomplished than me in every single area, if I take them separately, but what gives me value is the combination of my works, of my unique features of the things that maybe I am ashamed of. That combination is what gives me my unique value and what gives me the right to be on stage with all those wonderful people.
Lisa Nichols helped me become Flawesome
Myrna: Lisa Nichols is a powerful speaker. I saw her quite recently, she's awesome, but what I just love what you just said is that we all have this inferiority complex because you know we think that someone is is better than us but I love what he says that our combination is what makes us unique.
Kristina: We often think that our lessons come in very clear messages and of course Michael doesn't teach that. He teaches, self acceptance, that is what I learned from that interaction and that's interesting. You know Lisa Nichols for example, she's wonderful in so many ways and she actually has taught me public speaking one-on-one including, self acceptance, of my accent and flaws.
She's such a wonderful human being but the one thing I learned from her is one this is one saying that she occasionally says in some of her speeches.
The world has no need for your perfection
Conscious uncoupling after divorce
Myrna: So let's talk about you, back to you now and some of the things that you bring to the table. One of the things you talk about is, hacking happiness, after, conscious uncoupling. You were married to Vishen for 16 years that's a long time, in fact that's how long I've been married to my current husband 16 years. you're talking about, conscious uncoupling, hacking happiness.
Kristina: Well, conscious uncoupling, is actually a term coined by another of Mindvalley authors Catherine Woodward Thomas
For me and Vishen it was just a journey we chose to take when we decided to separate. Vishen had known Catherine by then and he had known about this concept so we did follow her teachings to a degree, but I think any kind of relationship is a product of these two people. So you can learn from other person how to be a good parent, how to have a happy marriage.
I think that every couple that uncouples consciously and couples according to Catherine Woodward Thomas has their own story and the other examples that I've seen. I don't normally talk about relationships because it's not my forte. I do talk about, hacking happiness, although not connected to uncoupling per se.
Hacking happiness: conscious uncoupling
I talk about, hacking happiness, as a choice, as a trainable skill as maybe a habit which is very contrary to a lot of ideas. I like to talk about happiness especially to very skeptical people because they always make you see things in a new light in a way. I do talk about happiness, but not in relation to uncoupling because I think in that aspect I'm still in the process. I mean we uncoupled four years ago and you might say that it's long enough time, but we are in each other's life's a lot we grow children together.
We still have business together, we are friends, we do a lot of things together, so I think as long as we have each other in each other's life it will be a constantly evolving relationship.
Myrna: Well at least you parted amicably. What I know about relationships is it's very hard to, consciously uncouple, because it's either you did something that hurt me and I don't want anything to do with you. It's very hard to say we are better separate than we are together and we're gonna, consciously uncouple, and put our kids first. That term , consciously uncoupling, has become popular because you know the word that I heard before was, co-parenting.
Kristina: I would strongly recommend studying Catherine Thomas because she has the experience, she's a psychotherapist who has been working with couples focusing on relationships. We do need to re-imagine the end of relationships. We have such a rigid approach to that relationship is only a success if it lasts, but that's not the case. We have all witnessed relationships that maybe lasts a really long time but it's dead inside.
Catherine suggests and I really love this idea is why don't we judge the successful relationship not by the length of a relationship but by the extent that both people have maybe evolved or created things together.
Hacking Happiness: The Art of becoming Flawesome
Myrna: you also talk about how can we live by our own rules and walk in our fruit and um you know that's basically our topic today, hacking happiness, and the Art of becoming flawsome. Tell us what that word means because I'm putting my own interpretation to it.
Kristina: I'm very reluctant to give definition of the word flawesome even in my book. My editor insisted that I have to add it. My book well it's called Becoming flawesome. It is a book about, self acceptance, and finding your way back to you. Our flaws is just this necessary condition because when you find your way back to you, you will discover that probably you're not that picture of perfection that you have been drawing in your head and aspiring for.
Become flawesome by accepting your flaws and practicing, self acceptance. Becoming flawesome is a personal experience and you are absolutely right it's about embracing your flaws and being okay with them. It's embracing your flaws, it's learning to not just accept, but love yourself with your flaws, and maybe not even with the flaws, but because of them. Because every single facet of you makes you unique.
Even those things that you maybe are feeling ashamed about or don't want to show to the world they are a part of you that makes you uniquely you and if you have the courage to go further and deeper, it is about about finding strengths in the things that you might have considered your flaws choosing them to become your blessing rather than your curse.
Conclusion: Your self acceptance journey
Yes as you were talking you know a lot of women including me.
Myrna: Let's talk about your book, how did you come up with that title and what is it that you want the um readers to walk away?
Kristina: I hope that this book is going to be a companion on the journey back to you for every single reader. However many readers I'm going to get, that's how many destinations this book will have. I don't teach people, I don't believe in teaching, I believe transformation happens when people are ready and who am I to teach anyone, but I am a companion, I have been through this journey. I ask a lot of questions. I hold the hand, so I do believe and hope that this book is everybody's individual unique journey back to, self acceptance.
Myrna; How can our audience get a copy of your book and connect with you on social media. Let us know your website and your Instagram or your social media handles.
Kristina: My name is a little complicated, but the rest is easy so my name is Kristina Mand-Lakiani my website is www.kristinamand.com and then the book is slash book so it's super easy. My handle for all all the social media Instagram Facebook is the same https://www.instagram.com/kristinamand/
As we approach Father’s Day, I wanted to talk about, father absence. I was inspired to talk about this from an article I read from relationship coach Andre Paradis. He shared some disturbing, father absence statistics, and the, causal effects of, father absence, and, black father absence.
Back in the 60’s, 5% of white women, 15% of Latinas, and 20% of black women were single mothers. Fast forward 40 years later Now, 20% of white women, 55% of Latinas and 70% of black women are single mothers. Those are scary numbers. The causal effects of, father absence, is that 70% of criminals in jail come from, single-mom households? 90% of all inmates are males, fatherless males.
As a black woman I empathize with my black sisters who are raising their children without fathers.
As a relationship coach Andre feels the reason for, father absence, is because women are not able to create healthy bonds with men so they leave. Also, the role of a father is to provide and protect his family and now the women have become the providers and protectors. No wonder women have lost their, feminine traits, and men run around calling us, masculine women.
Problem is Andre says, is women can’t raise men. I know they say that we only raise cattle not kids, but that is the only word we know.
Single family homes or to be specific, single mom homes, are creating kids who are not contributing members to society.
70% of criminals in jail come from, single-mom households. 90% of all inmates are males, fatherless males.
Without a father present, boys don’t learn to develop some very basic male traits like integrity, accountability, sacrifice, character-building choices, appropriate use of force, how to provide or protect, etc. Only men can teach young men how to become good men.
He says women don’t have these traits built in. Women pass on connection, tenderness, being kind, sweet and loving, being passive, sharing instead of competing, etc. The problem is that raising boys to be sweet girls doesn’t make them sweet boys; it makes them emotional, and weak. Not able to provide or protect a family.
Masculine men, who had a father as a role model, control their tempers and do what needs to be done regardless of how they “feel” about it. They protect women, children, animals, and the weak, because they’ve built up their character and know that they are valuable and capable. Weak, sweet, soft men DON’T! Boys need Men to show them the right way and the honorable way.
Women can’t do this for boys. They have a whole different set of innate values and characteristics.
Father absence makes girls look for love in all the wrong places
But boys are not the only ones who need a father, girls needs a daddy for two very important reasons.
First, she needs her dad to be the first man to love and protect her. This builds her trust in men. Girls who grow up without a father’s love go looking for love in all the wrong places.
Secondly, young girls who are raised without fathers have NO idea what a “daddy” (father role-model) looks like and does in life. Without daddy energy in the house or around her, a young woman sees her mom become the provider and protector and she in turn becomes a, masculine woman, which takes away her femininity, vulnerability and ability to trust anyone… especially men.
So, ladies your children need their fathers. Do whatever you can to encourage a relationship with their fathers even if he does not support them financially. A father’s love is priceless.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. Your kids need you.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna
Are you tired of your current image? Are you struggling to find a new, more confident you? Then this blog is for you. In this podcast episode, Keri Blair, personal stylist and image consultant, teach some of the basic principles of personal branding, and how you can use them to transform your image.
By following these techniques, you'll increase your confidence and create a stronger personal brand. Whether you're looking to get ahead in your career or just feel happier with your personal brand, this podcast episode is for you! By following these simple tips, you can start to change the way people see you, and make a real impact on your life by creating lasting first impressions!
Keri Blair is a, personal stylist, and, image consultant, with a one-of-a-kind approach and she prides herself in making a profound difference in people's lives with her work. Keri and her team are known as a secret weapon and our trusted advisors to their extensive clientele across the country, she has over 20 years of experience styling executives and high profile clients drawing upon her experience inside of the world most dynamic and beautiful cities including New York, Los Angeles, Paris and Milan. I guess those are all the fashion capitals of the world
Myrna: how did you become a, personal stylist, and, image consultant?
Keri: I started my business over 20 years ago and before then I was doing sales. I was traveling the country selling a variety of things and I noticed that I couldn't dress the same way when I was selling in a board room in New York City as if I were in Texas. So that kind of started me on my journey. I thought wow wait a minute they're not listening to me here when I dress like this, but if I dress like this.
I would take breaks from my sales career and I would go work at Nordstrom for six months and then I would go back into my sales career and then I would take a break and go work at Neiman Marcus for six months and during that time what I realized was a lot of people didn't feel great about how they looked.
Personal styling and personal branding is based on how you feel about yourself
I think that's safe to say that the majority of people don't feel right on any given day. I thought if people weren't so busy tugging at their pants and wondering how they looked, they could make a bigger difference in the world. They could make more money, they could have better relationships, and their confidence would go through the roof. That's really why I started this business, it had nothing to do with fashion for me it was really about making people feel unbelievable and empowering them to be their best selves.
Myrna: Yes, I remember as a salesperson wanting to look successful and make that good, first impression. I remember you know worrying about your purse and your suit and getting the right colors like the power colors and all that. I can understand what you're saying where you know if you're New York then you've got to have the suit and the briefcase, but then when you go to Texas maybe it's a little bit laid back.
What did you learn about personal branding from working at Neiman Marcus?
Keri: I learned that, personal style, isn't just about body issues it's about how we feel about ourselves. I mean we're human beings and we've got some issues right that's why that's why you and I have a job right right it goes deeper than our bodies, but when you hire a stylist we can camouflage what you don't love about your body and accentuate what you do love about your body.
In fact I go a lot deeper with my clients. I help them transform their relationship with their body, before you even put the clothes on. What's your relationship with your body because for the most part we punish ourselves. Sometimes my size zero or size two clients are harder on themselves than my size 26 clients.
I don't even know where we learned that from. I think it's at a very young age we start being critical and hard on our bodies and then we don't know how to dress them and we kind of a dysfunctional view of ourselves. When you have the a great outfit on, it does make you feel more confident about your body.
Personal branding and image
Myrna: How does, personal branding, and image connect?
Keri: A lot of people don't know what I mean by, personal branding, but it's just like branding for a company. When you're branding your company you are very specific about the font they use and the color that they use and the people that they'll let represent their brand right? Companies spend millions of dollars on branding, but when it comes to us as human beings a lot of human beings are not thinking through what's my, personal brand, they're just getting dressed hoping that it works.
It takes less than three seconds to make a, first impression, and we've all heard that over and over right you never get a second chance to make a great, first impression, and it doesn't matter that we've heard it over and over again people are not doing anything about it. But if you can take control of your, first impression, you specifically design it and then have your wardrobe match it, then miracles happen in your life. Because what people see is what you want them to see so for instance if you want to be known as an expert in your field, successful, polished and sophisticated you've got to dress that part right.
That's why, personal branding, and, first impression, are so imperative because people are seeing you from across the room and they're making split-second judgments on your image. They're not trying to be superficial, it's just we live in such a fast-paced society you have to make up your mind instantly and you may be turning people off that you really want to get to know. I think it's so important to take control of how the world sees you.
Myrna: How do you teach your clients to be authentic to their image and, personal brand?
Keri: So the first step is figuring out what you want your, personal brand, so I go really in depth with people. It is your, personal brand, so what do you want people to know about who you are when they first look at you. So what are your best qualities on the inside that we want to shine through to the outside for people to see.
Myrna: What can female podcasters wear for, personal branding? The men are wearing t-shirts. I wear clothes that create the personal branding image of being on the Today’s Show or any other television talk show.
Keri: You can go in five different directions here, so I love what you're doing, because I believe that why you're doing that is because you are stepping into the role that you're playing as a podcast host. What's interesting to me is I think through the pandemic right people got super casual. That is when it probably happened that people started wearing t-shirts or their sweatpants. I work with a lot of CEOs and Executives that also fell prey to that casual wear, but I try to get them to see how it is affecting their personal branding.
I can tell like you the way that you're dressed today in this gorgeous yellow shirt and your colorful necklace you just look stunning and you you vibrate happiness and joy and sophistication and that's important that is, personal branding.
Myrna: Thank you You talked about confidence and how it affects your, style confidence, so how does, personal branding, connect your confidence level?
Keri: So we all start our morning in the exact same way, which is we go to our closet and put clothes on and based on what you choose your confidence either goes up or it goes down right? That's why it's so important to have a style that's yours and that you love and that feels great because then instantly your confidence level goes up.
Myrna: How do you teach people to take their image and, personal branding, to the next level?
Keri: Great question, I think is under asked so the first thing is what I talked about earlier which is designing your first impression. So instead of getting dressed in a haphazard way, because something could look good on you that doesn't fit your first impression. Since you know who you are on the inside, and what you want others to know about you through how you are on the outside that's where you really want to begin.
How to Create a Great First Impression
So what is your, first impression, I have this whole process I walk people through.
Get to know your body
learn to love your body that's a tough one for people but I have exercises that I walk people through so that they can transform their relationships with their body
then know your colors. Know what colors look great on you. Color has a certain vibration so even if you have on this amazing outfit that looks awesome and if it's the wrong color then it didn't work right.
the next step is going through your closet and getting rid of clothes that don't serve you, that no longer match your vibration. That no longer match your, first impression, or they no longer fit you. Get rid of the Clutter. I'm a big Advocate that if you want to accomplish big things in life you have to remove what doesn't serve you.
Most people only wear 25 % of what's in their closet, but then we're dealing with all of the clutter every morning. Instead fill your closet with clothes that represent your personal brand, clothes that make you feel unbelievable, look gorgeous, and nail your, first impression. Then only buy things that light you up and that make you feel great and that match your, personal brand.
Myrna: so how does somebody say well this is my brand and this is the type of clothes that fits my brand I know we talked about the fact that you know we we're bringing how we feel on the inside out like for me yes I'm very bubbly and effervescence and I like color and I have dark skin and those things and you know when I choose an outfit I'm looking for color and I'm looking for shape and I'm looking for certain things that I know works for me um but I wouldn't go as far as saying it's my brand so put that in a little box for us how do we find a, personal brand?
Download on Spotify
How to establish your personal brand
Keri: I tell people to come up with three to five adjectives that best describe who you are and what you want other people to know about you and sometimes that's the hardest question I ever asked someone, because you'd be amazed how many people can't answer that question. So you've got to do some work and ask yourself what do I really want people to know about me in the first three seconds?
Creating a great, first impression, might even be faster now, but in those first glances where I can't shake their hand, I can't smile, I can't do anything. What do I want to have them know about who I am? Once you can come up with three to five adjectives, that's your first step in, personal branding. You should come up with those adjectives, then go through your closet and try things on and ask does this express those adjectives?
If it doesn't get rid of it. Don't keep it around. This process takes some people a while so I've had people do fun exercises to help them clean out their closet. I just did a mastermind and one of the exercises I had people do was once you create your, first impression, of your, personal brand, get on Pinterest and play around with it. Look and see what's your, first impression, of others, because sometimes when we see it in others, that helps us see it in ourselves.
Your Curated Style Couse
Myrna: Let's talk about your course, you have a six week course that's called “Your curated style” can you take people through what they can expect in this course.
Keri: Thank you, so um after working almost 21 years with Executives and CEOs, I thought it was a shame that only wealthy people or people that had a lot of money could hire me. I have a unique system that I know changes people's lives, so I spent a year figuring out how to transform people's lives from there homes.
I designed your curated style it's a six-week course and I walk you through what I walk all my clients through and it's life-changing. I work with you on how:
To design your, first impression,
I work with you on transforming your relationship with your body, what colors are good for your image.
How to edit your closet
Then we go shopping. I'll tell you designer names. I'll tell you stores and again I have clients on all different budgets and all different sizes, so I run the gamut. You don't have to worry about something not working for you.
Then we do accessorizing and makeup.
Conclusion personal branding and style
I cover it all, so that at the end of six weeks you can be the brand that you want to be, and it's so inspiring people really have produced the same results as if they worked with me one-on-one. That's a real fulfillment for me.
Myrna: That's awesome, how can people get in touch with you? How can they sign up for your course?
Most of us believe that self love is crucial for loving others. But is this really true? In this podcast, coach Myrna challenges that belief and ask instead, what is the relationship between self love and love for others? I believe the answer is much more complicated than we think.
If you're questioning whether or not self love is important for love for others, then this video is for you! I'll explore the concept of self love from different perspectives and discuss why it may not be as vital as we think it is. I believe that self love is important for our own happiness, but it's not the be-all and end-all of our relationship to others. Download and listen see what you think!
In this segment of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna I want to answer the question of, self love, what is it? Specifically, can you love another if you don’t first love yourself.
I have been saying for years that you can’t love another if you can’t first, love yourself, because you can’t give away what you don’t have. If you can’t even, love yourself, then you don’t know what love is, so you can love someone else. That is until I heard Eckhart Tolle say that when we talk about, self love, we are saying that there are two beings self and someone else. That if we are separating self from being then we got it wrong.
Let me back up and give you the definition of Self-love. Self love, is defined as “love of self” or “regard for one's own happiness or advantage”, it has been conceptualized both as a basic human necessity and as a moral flaw, akin to vanity and selfishness, conceitedness, egotism, narcissism.
I grew up thinking when someone called me selfish it was the worst thing, until I understood the concept of, self love, and putting yourself first.
Not letting others take advantage of or abuse you.
Prioritizing your health and wellbeing.
But Eckhart Tolle teaches that when you talk about loving yourself it means you are splitting you and self, and that means that you have missed the concept of being. If you be yourself then you don’t have to love yourself.
You are not separate from self, so no need to love yourself, no need to be proud of yourself, no need to pat yourself on the back.
When you understand that the ripple or waves is part of the ocean and you are the ripple that is part of the ocean of the universe, you do not separate self from the whole.
You don't have to love yourself first: to love another
So, the answer to the question Can you love another if you don’t, love yourself, is NO; it is not necessary to, love yourself, before you can love another.
If you are not comfortable with being with yourself when you are alone, you will seek another to complete you, but what will happen is that the need that made you seek another human to complete you, will show up in another form in the relationship, because another person cannot fill the void inside of you, only you can fill that void by accepting the present moment in whatever form it presents itself and just be yourself.
When you are in a relationship and you still feel alone, you blame your partner for not giving you what you need. You become needy, but even if your partner tells you he or she loves you every hour of the day, you still feel unloved, because you don’t love yourself and don’t know how to be yourself.
Ever heard a man say I can’t please this woman?
Will Smith is a classic example of this phenomenon. He said in his autobiography, he spent weeks planning a surprise 40th birthday party for Jada. He was very proud of his work and he expected her to be so grateful and see his love; yet all she saw was that he wanted to make himself look good by receiving praise for planning such an extravagant party and missed the love that was behind the effort.
If you don't love yourself you cannot receive love
He was hurt by her lack of appreciation and walked out of the marriage saying I can’t ever please this woman. He also told her if it is possible for you to be happy, show me. This was because Jada had a hole in her heart that Will Smith could not fill. She had to fill it herself. She had to find her wholeness by connecting to source, God.
So, no need to love yourself, feel sorry for yourself, judge yourself, hate yourself, all you need is to be yourself.
When you are able to be yourself, you can watch your emotions, you can watch your thoughts, so you are no longer controlled by them.
You watch them until they pass through you or float away like colored balloons. That is how you practice, self love, and that is by loving the whole you by being yourself.
Thanks for tuning into this weeks episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna
Many people think of the, subconscious mind, as a passive force, but that's not true. The subconscious mind is actually one of the most powerful parts of your brain, and it can help you achieve anything you set your mind to. In this podcast episode, Kimberly Friedmutter shares with you some of the techniques that you can use to access and use this power to transform your life. If you're interested in living your dreams, and transforming your life for the better, then be sure to watch this download this podcast! By implementing the techniques I share, you can achieve anything you desire!
When Hollywood has a problem, Kimberly Friedmutter solves it. Kimberly Friedmutter CHT and hypnotherapist to the stars count Hollywood A-listers, politicos, CEOs, and titans of industry as her clients. She connects them to their subconscious to get what they truly want out of life, leading them to health, wealth, and, yes! even finding lost items and the best parking spaces!
But Kimberly says living up to your dreams isn’t reserved for the exceptionally talented or lucky. Everyone has the birthright to “Expect the Exceptional,” and the amazing force to make it a reality—hidden deep “below” the conscious mind.
Myrna: How do you teach your clients to tap into the power of the, subconscious mind, and live the life of their dreams?
Kimberly: What I love about the, subconscious mind, is that many large corporations across the world use your subconscious for their benefit with subliminal messages in Ads. There is nothing wrong with using subliminal advertising, however even the fun ones like Snickers bar that says it satisfies. To the subconscious mind this message is called an embedded command. It’s telling your subconscious when you walk past at the grocery store that Snickers is oh so satisfying.
Myrna: Dr Joe Dispenza called out the shingles commercials for the same subliminal programming. The shingles Ads tell you that if you had the smallpox, you've got the shingles virus so you should run out right away and get the vaccine because you don’t want to get these horrible and painful blisters and it works. I ran out and got the shingles vaccine and so did millions of people. So, the question was so how do you teach your clients to program their own subconscious mind and not necessarily from the external sources like the commercials and things like. How do you teach them to tap into their, subconscious power?
What is subconscious power
Kimberly: Well first I have them read the book “Subconscious Power” which explains that and secondly, I am really making them aware that we're all double-minded. We have the, conscious mind, and the, subconscious mind, and so some people just think of intuition and gut, they don't really think that the, subconscious mind, is the primary working system in the brain as far as habits, continuity, memories emotions all the things that that are the touchy-feely things that make us basically who we are. It's the you inside of you that makes you different from me. It is that subconscious part of the mind how we express ourselves all those things.
So when I explain it that the subconscious is highly enacted when you're driving down a road and your Autopilot brain takes over and you end up at your destination and can’t remember driving there. We all get lost in the trance of the subconscious mind. It all is a very important part of the human experience in the sense that we go into trance many times a day and the biggest trance we go into of course is known as sleep, which I call incubation.
Myrna: Can we access the subconscious mind with hypnosis?
Kimberly: So to be clear hypnosis and hypnotherapy has to do with the how in touch you are with your own intuition and gut as opposed to like I think in 2024 I'm gonna win the lottery. I don't work on the sidekick Clairvoyantclairaudient Clairsentient although I'm fascinated and have plenty of clients that do but mine is really about your, subconscious mind, how it benefits you.
Conscious mind vs subconscious mind
Myrna: How do we send information to our, subconscious minds, from the, conscious mind?
Kimberly: So, the, conscious mind, gets in the way, it's your daytime practical planner. I need to be at the soccer field at three, I need to pick up Johnny at four that kind of thing; so, the, subconscious mind, is handling everything else. The, conscious mind, is your assistant and then the, subconscious mind, is the real doer. The, subconscious mind, doesn't need to be trained, it's a matter of listening to it and paying attention to it.
Myrna: So, let's answer the question do you help your clients to download the information to their subconscious minds from the conscious mind? I was talking about contrast, this is something you see in the world that you want, so you tell your, subconscious mind, to bring it to you.
Kimberly: What you're doing is you're actually clearing space for that thing to happen. In the book I teach you how to hypnotize yourself. I give you example after example of self-hypnosis and all the hacks of how to do that so it was very important that people had this information to go on and be magnificent. I also teach some super effective subconscious raising exercises to help reduce our stress, improve sleep, overcome addiction, get fit, and achieve career goals.
In the book I give more of those type of exercises so can use your inner mind to create the life you've always wanted. It’s just the, conscious mind, creating the life that you've always wanted. You can listen to it on Audible it's available in bookstores Nationwide on Amazon.
Myrna: Kimberly this was this is an excellent conversation. I love the, subconscious mind, so I will definitely go and get your book on Audible because that my preferred way to consume books. Tell our listeners know how they can connect with you, you've got some courses, talk to us about your website your social media handles etc.
Kimberly: So “Subconscious Power: use your inner mind to create the life you've wanted always wanted” is available at all bookstores, retailers it's available online, it's available of course on Amazon and Audible and in paperback and hardcover, any way you want to receive the information. My website is www.Kimberly freedmutter.com. Everything's on the website including ordering the book through any of those retailers and also my Instagram. If you want to say hello because I love to see you and follow you back @ Kimfriedmutter also for Twitter.
Are you looking to activate your spiritual awakening? In this podcast episode, Bec Mylonas spiritual guide and priestess, reveal the secrets of Kundalini energy, and how to access it through meditation. If you're interested in finding out more about Kundalini energy, this podcast is for you! We'll cover the basics of Kundalini energy, its benefits, and how to activate it through meditation. We'll also discuss the dangers of Kundalini energy, and how to protect yourself from them.
Myrna: What was your journey from being on antidepressants to becoming a, spiritual guide?
Bec: When I was very young, they tried to put me on antidepressants because there is a long history of mental illness in my family. At one time, I was dealing with some pretty crippling, debilitating depression where I wanted to check out and I didn't want to be here. So finally I was put on SSRIs these are serotonin inhibitors. And so the assumption with those meds is that your brain is not producing the serotonin. So what it does is when it releases it, it kind of holds it in the chamber. So it's building on itself, basically. So that's what it was doing. And essentially, all that really did for me was create a flatline so instead of really wanting to check out and no, I was just kind of like zombified.
So my, dark night of the soul, which I'm sure many of you kind of know what that is this process of unfolding or questioning. I started the process of my own healing. I started taking care of my body, exercising more, reading more and mental health and development and all sorts of things like that including self help spirituality. Everything gradually got weirder and weirder over the years. I started seeing shamans and healers and psychics.
And through the process of my healing journey, I started to ask, you know, what am I here for, what's my purpose? And that kind of got me into the trajectory of being a coach. So I started out as a coach in news 2018. When I said yes to coaching, my whole mission or my purpose really opened up to me. I kept meeting all these healers and then started having these experiences in these realms, crazy stuff happening, speaking to spirits, etc.
I was in Bali, trying to make my business work, I'd also gone off the meds. I was purging so much trauma, like it was like lifetimes of trauma, like extreme amounts of sadness and trauma. I was crying every day didn't know why. And towards the end of the year, after a year of trying to make my business work I kept getting this message that I'm this Healer.
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So I said to God if I'm this healer that everyone keeps telling me and then show me and literally like the next day I started having these completely crazy experiences where I was remembering my past lives. I had a spontaneous, kundalini awakening, where I was having these physical things happening to me and speaking other languages and wild emotions. From that moment, it was like three or four months from going to bed a normal person, no concept or idea of any of the spiritual stuff to suddenly remembering past lives, moving energy, doing healing work, helping other people to remember their past lives and activating healers.
Myrna: I learned so much by being on this on this show and interviewing people. I've interviewed I mean a one or two Shamans, so I know what it is. One gentleman went to one of these retreats and that's how he opened himself up to the, kundalini energy. Did you go to any retreats? Or did you just lay in bed and it started coming in?
Bec: To me, so this is like some stuff around the word shaman and I used to say I was a shamanic healer and people would always call me a shaman. The word shaman actually has cultural roots in specific places of the world. So I try not to use that word anymore because there's like a lot of charge around it and I just don't want to negate anyone's experience. Let's call a spade a spade I am a shaman, basically, because to me, a shaman is someone who traverses the realms between spirit and this physical realm.
Shamans talk to Spirit, they talk to plants, they talk to animals, they talk to all sorts of various things, non physical beings. So essentially, I that's what I do, and that's what I am. And I had seen a few healers, so I'd seen I was seeing a shaman in Melbourne a couple times I saw him and he didn't use plant medicine. He was like me, he was just a healer. So I maybe had two sessions with him. And basically it was a self initiation process for me so I didn't have the assistance of someone else. It was like because my soul was so ready to come and embody my purpose in this lifetime.
The moment I was like, show me that it was like Okay, now it's time for you to remember. It's like it all just came online. And that was like, Oh my God. I have all this wisdom, but I don't know where it came from. I can move energy. I remember this stuff. I remember how to do exorcisms and wild stuff.
https://youtu.be/WIRgn_1Qxu0
Myrna: I know a few people who can remember past lives. I follow is Sadhguru and he's able to talk about all his past lives and you know, he became a mystic. It just happened for him, you know, one day he sat down for 14 days or something like that and when he got up, he was a mystic, he was able to see and do and all these amazing things. Why is it that we don't remember our past lives and how is it that you could?
Bec: Yeah, absolutely. So we come here as souls to learn lessons because there is no other place in the universe that is dense. When I say dense, I mean, it's heavy, physically, like it's heavy. When we move past the third dimension, which is the fourth dimension onwards, we lose the physicality so fourth dimension above it's a lighter frequency, right. So emotions for instance, like anger is dense. It's a lower frequency and then joy is very high. Just like that physical reality has different density to a frequency vibration has different density. So this realm of reality is very dense and it's also the lifespans and very short, so souls choose and agree before they kind of reincarnate to come here because it's, it's very good for learning lessons.
It's very good for learning through pain through contrast through whatever it is. It's like a matrix, right? It's okay to gain come here and learn lessons. And so we choose to come here to learn these lessons, but a lot of the time we need to forget everything that we know, so then we can have this experience because if I came into this lifetime remembering I was this priestess, I was a highly dimensional being of love. I wouldn't have gone through all the things that I went through that enables me to get to that point to then become the leader that I am.
For instance, if you had an illness or a chronic disease of some sort. If you knew that it was all a game and you could very quickly heal yourself because you have that capacity. Would you learn through that illness? Then it would negate the purpose right? So it's almost like if we know the end, the story the journey is pointless.
Myrna: I listen to you know, Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer and even, Abraham Hicks. So all those people that I listened to and they said we chose our parents, we chose the womb. We chose everything just like you're saying because we want to experience certain things in order to, you know, to learn, as you say, so it's nothing like that, you know? But so how do we learn to surrender and work with the divine?
How to bring in the Divine
Bec: Yeah, so part of that is, as much as we chose this human or this vessel or this identity, that version of you who's Myrna or me, sure we chose these personalities. And ironically we spend most of our life building up these personalities of I am separate. This is who I think I am and I have this identity as a priestess or woman or a daughter or whatever it is stories of who we are, in order to surrender and allow the divine to work through us. We almost need to let go of identification with ourselves as unlimited small being and start seeing ourselves as a source or creator.
So like, for instance, if you take a bucket of water out of the ocean, is it still the ocean? And of course it is still the ocean. And just like that, we have fractals of the one, the one source of energy, some people call that God, the universe, different frameworks and understanding the same thing, but we are literally a fraction of source. So in order to allow that part of ourselves to take more responsibility in our life or work through us, it's almost like we need to relinquish our identities. We need to relinquish our attachments, we need to relinquish our stories of what we think we know.
Myrna: Dr Joe Dispenza in his book Becoming Supernatural is teaching us to connect with universal unified energy field. So is that how you're doing it? Are you letting go of your physical body and your mind and connecting through energy?
Bec: Yeah, so one of my gifts in this life is to be this transmitter for frequency and it's very unique, like shamans do a lot of different things and speak to spirits and all of this stuff. That's literally one of my gifts in this life is to be essentially a very big radio transmitter, which is why I do activations through spoken word and all sorts of things. Because it's like source frequency comes through me and that's amplified.
Using Kundalini Energy to connect to the unified field
I channel energy through my body from different places or from other galaxies and planets and from the earth. So the Earth has her own grid of energy right so like we have our chakra system and there's different chakra points of different places in the earth. And what people like myself or people who learn to use this energy can do is they can face themselves and specific points and call that energy through their body to like magnify like magnify what they're doing.
So yeah, essentially that is what I'm doing. I'm using this energy from the unified energy field. I'm using energy from other beings, from angels and spirits, whatever, God to channel through me. I love Dr Joe Dispenza. I've been to his events. I think he's amazing. But his breathing technique that he teaches in his books of the squeezing and pulling the mind out of the body, that's literally Kundalini, he is awakening Kundalini within you. So your Kundalini is this energy that's connected to your life force.
The Kundalini is connected to Shakti which is feminine, and Shiva, which is the masculine and when you can get Shakti which is the feminine to go up to the masculine which is in your crown Shiva consciousness. Then it's divine union, which is union with everything within itself within the world within the universe. So he's teaching basically how to activate your Kundalini. Kundalini is healing energy. It's life force energy.
Myrna: Let's talk about your Kundalini experience. You calling it the dark night of the soul.
Bec: l We all have different kinds of experiences with it. Mine was particularly intense and I think it's because I'm here to help people with this. So you can have different volumes of it or strengths of, Kundalini energy, moving through your body, and it can manifest as a tickle like a slight energy pulse or sensation of tingling in your body or heat. Or for me, it's like full body orgasms. I felt like I was getting penetrated by spirit, like literally having sex with someone and there's no one there. And it's incredible, but that's not the purpose of it.
Because sexual energy is just healing energy. It is life force energy, it's pure creation energy. So of course it's going to feel orgasmic because the orgasm is how we are burning things right as how we're creating. So you can channel that energy into creativity. You can channel into healing, you can channel into mystic purposes. So like opening your third eye, channeling healing, all sorts of things. It can be used for pretty much anything, but people will like, Oh, I feel this is sexual energy. So therefore, I'm aroused and it's, sexual energy.
With the, Kundalini awakening, you can spontaneously start moving your body into all sorts of weird positions, kind of like yoga poses almost contorting. I found myself on the floor with like my legs in my chest. Like, you know, you see the exorcisms and they're like doing the crazy stuff. Many times speaking in tongues. My Kundalini is always so active and awakened because of who I am, I have mystical experiences of profound oneness and love and bliss and ecstasy and literally speaking to God on a random Tuesday.
I've come here to experience spiritual mastery, because I've experienced that in so many lifetimes. I've come here to embody humanity with the spiritual mastery.
Myrna: How can people connect with you?
Bec: I have my own podcast called “Cracked Open” where I talk about all of this stuff. My website is www.becmylonascom You can find me on Instagram @becmylonis. I kind of facilitate or hold spaces for people to activate their gifts, activate the past life stuff and really activate that purpose. So check out on my website. I've always got offerings. I'm starting my next three month kind of process. I guess you want to call it with people called rebirth soon and that's a complete journey to like decondition and remove and purge and clear all the past life pain and trauma and activating that mission.
