Need to build confidence? This week on Transform your Mind podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Confidence mentor Di Ridell. Di is going to talk to us today on the subject “7 Ways to get your confidence back after a divorce of death of a spouse.”
As I do every week, I would like to leave you with my tip of the week on “6 Ways to get your Confidence back or to build it up.”
Tip of the week: 6 Tips for Building Unstoppable Confidence:
Building true confidence after the betrayal of a partner is a gradual process. No one is going to turn into a positive, self-confident person overnight.
But if you’re in need of a place to start, here are 6 tips to get you back on the horse.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. I know from experience that this is a confidence killer, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone younger. Remember that you’re only seeing the surface of their lives and looks, not the underlying reality. Focus instead on what’s important–your own strengths and goals.
2. Keep your limiting beliefs at bay.
Even the most successful people with healthy relationships have limiting beliefs about themselves, but the biggest difference is that they choose to focus on their strengths and possibilities instead of their limits.
3. Live in a positive reality.
Don’t say anything about yourself that you don’t want to become a reality. Positive thoughts and words alone won’t make you a more confident person, but confident people do think a lot of positive things about themselves. Remind yourself of what you’re capable of and what you’ve already accomplished.
4. Don’t mask it.
Self-confidence isn’t the impression you give others; but how you feel about yourself. It’s all about who you are, where you are, and where you want to be in your own life and relationships.
5. Change what you can.
Confident people know they cannot change the past, but they can change the future. They make daily choices that lead them toward the future they want to live out.
6. Be fully committed.
Be fully committed to doing whatever you can to build your success every single day, accepting full responsibility for your life. If it gets uncomfortable, you’re probably on the right track! Don’t procrastinate, do what it takes without agonizing or drama.
My guest today is a toastmaster’s trained Speaker, self published Author , Facilitator and MC . Master Practitioner of NLP, Certified Life Coach and Confidence mentor.
Tune in to hear Di’s story of how she was gang raped at 15 years, forced to give the baby up for adoption and told that she was worthless and that no good man would want her. She ended up in a 31 year marriage that restored her confidence until her husband died and she had to find the confidence to start over and date in the second half of life.
When you loose your confidence, you focus on your fears and not your hopes
Powerful interview, don’t miss it if you are lacking in self confidence.
1. Tell us your journey to becoming a confidence mentor.
2. What is Confidence – is it magical? How we get and lose it?
3. How has confidence contributed to what you do?
4. What advice do you have for women 50 + who have lost their partners or gone through a life changing challenge?
5. What problems do women over 50 experience when starting over after a death or divorce. How do they solve them?
6. Tell us about your book.
In November, most of the country was left in shock when Donald Trump won the general elections because he did not win the popular vote. Hilary Clinton lost her bid once again to become the first woman president of the United States of America. This was the second time an non established candidate knocked her off the podium.
What happened this time? Why did a woman who has been in politics for over 50 years, been the wife of a great president, founder of a great charitable foundation that provides vaccines for millions of poor children around the world, a champion for the people, lose to a man with no political experience, thinks that some people are superior to some because of their religion, sex and disability?
Was it because first and foremost she is a woman?
In Numbers 27 we see the daughters of Zelophehad, challenging an age-old law that said the women could not inherit the land. In those days’ women were not even counted as part of the church congregation. This was the pre-CHRIST era. Yet today we are still fighting for women’s rights.
Millions of men and women in the United States of America voted for Donald J Trump because he is a white male. One of my followers on Facebook posted that Hilary couldn’t run the country because she is a woman!
Let’s bring this discussion closer to home. Specifically, your home.
What happens when you have a clear vision that you worked on every day for most of your life and you fail to realize it time and time again? What do you do? The bible says “Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Refuse to be deterred by opinions, policies, and traditions. Do you become disheartened?
God can change the minds and hearts of the populist. What he did for the daughters of Zelophehad, he can do for Hilary Clinton and he can do for you. You must keep the vision in front of you and get back up every time you get knocked down.
Today I want to share 5 things you can do after failure of a goal, company, dream, marriage etc.
1: Watch your Thoughts
Most of us do not understand the power of our thoughts.
Thoughts are the highest energy frequency, and has the power to attract like thoughts floating around in the energy vortex. If you don’t watch your thoughts and consciously send back the negative thoughts that make you feel bad, before you know it you would be a powerful magnet attracting every like thought that comes into range. Keep this up and soon you will be like a hot air balloon that is too filled with poop to take off!
2: Find the good in the situation
“Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”
Brian Webb author of “Don’t Give Up, don’t ever give up“ shares his story in his book with that name.
One day he had a headache like he had never felt before, extremely intense, he felt like he needed to throw up so he went to the bathroom. While in the bathroom he and passed out. He woke up 3 days later from a coma to find out that a blood vessel had ruptured in his brain. He could no longer walk or talk. He realized that life as he knew it, was over.
Doctors predicted that he would never be able to walk, drive a car or live independently again.
Three months later he was released from the hospital. He couldn’t talk, walk, or work. In fact, there was a lot of things he couldn’t do. But he decided to focus on what he could do instead. You heard the saying. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade! Well he decided to make some lemonade.
There is good in every situation, we live in a world of contrast. Nothing exists without its opposite. Find the good in your situation.
Brian decided to focus on fitness.
With the help of his therapist he began to exercise. He began learning to walk again. When he fell down, he would get back up. Walking turned to running. This man who could not walk a year ago, now became a marathon runner!
I am in perfect physical health and I can’t even run a 5K race without stopping and I would guess this would be true for most of you listening. What makes some people hold a vision in front of them and don’t take failure as an option, while others give up after the first try?
Why is Brian’s story so inspirational? Because he chose to find the good in a bad situation. He decided to focus on what he could do instead of what he couldn’t do, and with practice and time, changed his life trajectory.
He walked again, talked again, ran again and worked again!
What do you need to get back on? I can promise you that if you work at it, you will succeed.
Where there is a will, there is always a way.
3: Change the momentum
I love Abraham by Ester Hicks. I was listening to one of her videos a few months back and someone in her workshop asked her why he kept attracting negative experiences even though he was conscious about his energy vortex and made conscious effort to clean up his vortex. Your vortex is your energy frequency or your aura.
Abraham’s response was to explain momentum. Ever heard the saying:
The worst it gets, the worst it gets, and the better it gets, the better it gets?
That is all about momentum. If you think bad thoughts and feel bad, then you attract more of the same. The only way to stop the negative spiral of negative momentum is to find something about the situation to be grateful for.
Let’s say you are Nick Vujicic and you were born with no arms and no legs. Can you think of a worst fate? You are totally dependent on someone to bath you, feed you, and wipe your butt, for the rest of your life. He can’t even hug his wife.
Yet Nick is one of the happiest people you will ever meet. He found many things to be grateful for and because his vortex is full of positive momentum, he attracts great things. He travels all around the world getting paid to speak and motivate others. He has a beautiful wife and son. He learned to swim, use his toes as his hand and do lots of things people with hands and feet take for granted.
The thing about momentum is that it resets itself while you are asleep. When you sleep, your spirit leaves your body in much the same way it does when your body dies. So, you have to deliberately keep the negative momentum going by thinking negative thoughts when you wake up in the morning.
One way to change the momentum is to develop the practice of thinking of things you are grateful for before bed and on rising.
The other is to find something in the situation to be grateful for. In the case of Hilary Clinton. She could be grateful that she will not speed up her aging by 20 years in the time span of 4 years. We all see what that job does to Presidents! It is a time warp!
4: Look for an alternate way to serve, what is your plan B?
I was watching Oprah, another of my favorite people, on Super Soul Sunday a few months back and this very inspirational story was showcased.
This story was about this boy now man who had a vision from God when he was 10 years old of swinging his daughter around while she was laughing hysterically. He even got her name in his vision, Cloe.
He held this vision to his heart dearly and never doubted for a moment that this vision would come true and that one day he would have a daughter just like he saw. Cloe had olive skin and brown eyes.
In his early 20’s, he started dating and subsequently fell in love with his childhood friend who was blond with fair skin and blue eyes. Having the vision of his daughter clearly in his mind, he didn’t think that this was the woman God intended for him to marry, because she could not be the mother of a child with olive skin and brown eyes.
One day they were sitting in his car discussing the future and started talking about children. His girlfriend told him that she wanted a daughter and that she would like to name her Cloe. He couldn’t believe it.
Would you have liked to be a fly on the wall when they both discovered that they were meant to be together, because God gave them both the same dream! Halelewa!
He knew that this was the girl that God chose for him to marry.
They got married and immediately started trying to have a family, they couldn’t wait to meet Cloe; but nothing happened. Four years passed, six years passed. The pain was deep. How could God give them both a vision that failed. How could he be so cruel. For a time, they both became separated from God. They no longer believed. But their faith returned!
The obvious next choice was adoption but they both rejected that option at first. They both wanted their own child. They wanted the baby girl named Cloe. They thought adoption was putting a band aid over their pain.
Finally, after many years, they made the mindset shift and decided to adopt a baby. They found an alternative way to fulfill their purpose of being parents.
They waited for some time for the right fit. Months passed before they received an email that a pregnant mother had chosen them to be parents of her unborn child. She was giving it up for adoption. She was also having a girl!
There were exhilarated! Finally, they were going to be parents of a baby girl. They started choosing a name. Cloe was off the table. Cloe was the name of the baby girl God had intended for them to have. This baby girl was not the vision that God had given both of them.
They decided to meet the mother of their new baby girl and get to know her. They drove to her home and when she opened the door, the man noticed that she looked like a grown-up version of the little girl named Cloe that he saw when he was 10 years old. Same olive skin, same features, same eyes. When they sat down to visit with the mother. She asked them if they had a name picked out for the baby. She told them she had a name and she hoped they would keep it. Can you guess what it was? I am sure 100% of you listening would guess right. Cloe.
Still gives me chills. I don’t know what will be Hilary’s path, history will let us know but I know for sure that if the vision comes from God, it will never fail.
5: Remember that there are several routes to your destination.
Don’t get tied to a particular path. God is like your GPS navigation system, he can take the fastest route, the scenic route, he can bypass the city and construction zones; but he will get you to your destination.
God gave this couple a vision that they will be parents of a baby girl named Cloe. He never showed them a vision of the wife being pregnant or delivering a baby. They added that little piece. He showed the man a vision of him playing with a daughter named Cloe. He showed him the destination.
If you believe that your vision is from God, then when you experience failure, you would refuse to be deterred. You would not grow weary and disheartened. You would look for an open door, you would look for the lesson so that you can be better prepared for the next battle. You would never quit until you WIN or you DIE. God said in the bible “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” So hear this, if you have failed in something, know that it is not the end!
As I wrap up this post from the mindset transformation radio show and podcast. Today I have been coaching on “When The Vision Fails: 5 Things you can do after a failure.” I hope you gleamed something and had a few aha moments. If you have experienced failure, I hope you were encouraged to get up and try again.
You can listen again to this broadcast and any of my previous shows by downloading then on iTunes.
Please remember to subscribe and leave a review.
If you would like to contact me for personal coaching or to be a guest on this radio show and podcast please contact me on the web @ www.myrnayounghelps.com
Welcome to the mindset transformation radio show and podcast. Today’s show is very special to me! I am going to share with you an interview with Neale Donald Walsh, author of, “The Conversations with God,” series on, “How to Awaken Your Soul’s Purpose,”
This is special to me because his book revealed deep truths to me. My eyes were opened in wonderment!
Here are some of the revelations from the book “The Conversations with God’
Truths about Prayer:
When you pray in order for your prayer to be received by God it must be in a frequency that he can hear. Just as you cannot hear this radio program if my words were not modulated to be transported over the communication lines and then demodulated back so that you can hear them. It is the same way that prayer works. Except the modulator is faith. Jesus never healed anyone who did not have faith. He said “Your faith has made you whole” So if you are asking God to grand you the desires of your heart and you don’t believe that he will, your prayers will never be answered.
The other part of the prayer mechanics is this:
You will not have that which you ask, nor anything you want because your request is a statement of lack.
Saying you want a thing only works to produce that precise experience – wanting- in your reality.
Abraham of the Law of Attraction books teaches the same thing.
You have to see yourself in position of the thing you want and not what you don’t want, because if you think of what you don’t want, that is exactly what you will attract and that will show up. Wondering why you keep attracting the same no good man into your experience? That is because you are so detailed in what you don’t want in a man and the Universe complies!
So when you pray you must engage faith and thank God for giving you the desires of your heart. You need to tell him all the things you do want in a man. Be just as detailed and then believe him for it. Walk in it. Believe that you already have such a man!
Truths about Relationships:
It is only through your relationship with people, places and events that you can exist in the universe. You are only who you are, relative to what another person is not. That is why opposites attract! Your soul is always looking for its counterpart to complete itself!
When human relationships fail (and they never really fail, they just did not produce the result you wanted), is because they were entered into for reasons not beneficial to their survival.
The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you would like to see show up not what part of another you can capture and hold.
This revelation made me look at the purpose of my marriage from Gods eyes.
The good news is that this marriage survived when the others failed because it had a purpose. One of them was to reveal myself to me.
Truths about Abundance:
What is an abundant mindset?
Let’s say that you are walking down the road one day and you see a homeless person begging on the street corner. You go into your wallet and notice you have $7, a $5dollar bill and 2 singles. You start to give the homeless person the $5 bill but decide instead to get him the 2 singles. Why did you change your mind about giving the $5 bill? Was it because you felt that it was too much money to part with? Did you feel that you needed it more than the homeless person?
None of these answers suggest an abundant mindset. You are operating from a spirit of lack.
The most rapid way to change a root thought or sponsoring idea is to reverse the thought-word-deed process.
Do the deed that you want to have the new thought about, then say the words that you want to have the new thought about. Do this often and you’ll train the mind to think a new way.
You are what you think you are. When the thought is a negative one, you have to find a way to break out of the cycle. So much of your present experience is based on your previous thought.
Eg. Let’s say You need $5000 more to close on your new home. You receive a message from God to give $2000 to a sister in the church who just lost her house in a fire. You obey because you have faith that your God is able. Your common sense tells you that you are stupid and that you will never get the money back; but you act on Gods promise. You use the words that God will provide the increase.
He does, a few days later; a check for $10,000 shows up in the mail.
I listened to a message from Joyce Meyers a few weeks back, she shared a similar story. She said that she was broke and laying in bed age her Breast cancer surgery feeling very fearful about her financial situation. Both she and her husband was in full time ministry and depended on her ability to preach for their income. She wouldn’t be able to work for some time.
Then the doorbell rang and someone brought her a check for $10,000. Someone she did not know, but who God sent. From that moment, onward she did not operate out of fear or lack, she knew that God was able.
When was the last time you cried with joy, wrote poetry, made music, danced in the rain, baked a pie, painted anything, fixed something that was broken, kissed a baby, held a cat to your face, kissed your dog, swam naked, walked at sunrise, played a harmonica, talked till dawn, made love for hours on a beach or in the woods, communed with nature, searched for God, sat alone in silence, or traveled to the deepest part of your being?
When was the last time you said hello to your soul?
Wow! After reading this I made note to say hello to my soul more often. I need to go skinny dipping at the beach, I need to dance in the rain and make love for hours in the woods!
So how do you awaken to your soul’s purpose?
Your soul doesn’t care what you do for a living, the soul only cares what you are being, while you are doing what you are doing.
The function of the soul is to indicate its desire, not impose it.
The function of the mind is to choose from its alternatives.
The function of the body is to act out that choice.
Your soul has brought you to the words you are reading or listening to right now.
This is how I found my purpose.
One day I was reading a local newspaper. Who reads newspapers these days? I never did. But this day now only did a newspaper appear in my space; but I was guided to pick it up and flip through the pages. In one of the pages was a photograph of someone I thought I recognized so I stopped to look at it. It had her name and the title beside her name, Lifecoach! I had never seen that word before or heard it anywhere but I knew immediately that was what I was supposed to do.
My soul has been directing me all my life. It always brings me to where I need to be and the people I need to be with.
True masters are those who have chosen to make a life, rather than a living.
Life’s irony is that as soon as worldly goods and worldly success are of no concern to you, the way is open for them to flow to you.
I do this for free! Open the windows of heaven Lord!
There comes a time in the evolution of every soul when the chief concern is no longer the survival of the physical body, but the growth of the spirit; no longer the attainment of worldly success but the realization of self.
The goal and purpose of your soul is to fully realize itself while in your body. To become the embodiment of all that it really is.
Listen to the author Neale Donald Walsh go into detail
You could also listen on iTunes. Please remember to subscribe.
At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade’s worth of training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, and the next he was a patient struggling to live. And just like that, the future he and his wife had imagined evaporated. When Breath Becomes Air chronicles Kalanithi’s transformation from a naïve medical student “possessed,” as he wrote, “by the question of what, given that all organisms die, makes a virtuous and meaningful life” into a neurosurgeon at Stanford working in the brain, the most critical place for human identity, and finally into a patient and new father confronting his own mortality.
What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when the future, no longer a ladder toward your goals in life, flattens out into a perpetual present? What does it mean to have a child, to nurture a new life as another fades away? These are some of the questions Kalanithi wrestles with in this profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir.
Today on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast, I would like to take you on a journey into living!
How to live before you die
I ask the question “What makes a virtuous and meaningful life for you?”
Psychologists says that in order to live a virtuous and meaningful life, you should have balance in these 7 areas:
1. You should have A fulfilling career – i.e. You are doing what you love.
2. You should and must have a relationship with a higher power, God.
3. You must be fruitful and multiply.
4. You should offer Service to your community.
5. You must have effective time management and stress reduction.
6. You must get quality sleep, adequate exercise and proper nutrition.
7. You should spend quality time with loved one’s friends and family.
A Fulfilling career
Most people don’t do what they love, they work to live; so they live to work!
I saw a viral picture a few weeks back on Instagram that made me chuckle
It was a picture of a man crying with the caption:
So how do you find your passion, work in your passion or work on your passion?
You have to Listen to your soul.
If you are dreading going to work, hate it all the time you are there, and you are not serving or making a difference in the lives of others, then quit.
Step out on faith.
Faith, now faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen.
Believe that God will fund your purpose, if it is his will.
On the road to Damascus, Saul encountered Christ in a memorable experience that left him temporally blind. Immediately he started to undergo a major transformation of his whole life and character, including a total reorientation of his world view. Following this he was commissioned into service as an apostle to the Gentiles. Paul’s story highlights the 3 dynamics of a meaningful life.
The relational, the transformational, and the vocational. We must not choose one and neglect the others.
The relational experiences in a meaningful life results in openness to others, healing progress towards Christlikeness and participation in God’s purposes in the world.
The Transformational concerns how we transform after being touched by God and the Holy Spirit. Just as all Saul’s beliefs, mindset and values were altered, so can yours. This show’s mission is the offer you advice on how to do that.
The vocational is what we are talking about and it is how God works through us. I am doing God’s work.
He has given me the purpose of speaking life into you!
So, choose your vocation wisely and work as unto the Lord.
Know this for sure, that the quickest and most direct path to sickness and death is to linger in stressful situations. All diseases can be traced back to inflammation. Inflammation is brought on by stress and negative emotions.
Find your purpose and step out on faith.
As a coach, I can Help you design a plan to get there quicker.
A relationship with a higher power
We are dual beings having both a physical and a nonphysical experience.
The most important barometer to living a meaningful and virtuous life is how your connect with source and if you understand why your soul chose this time to manifest into a physical being. i.e Understand what you are here to do!
When you meditate, you open communication with source energy and infinite intelligence.
This is the gateway, this is the path a meaningful life.
When you are in communication with source, you get fed instructions to live a meaningful and virtuous life.
It is a 2 way communication; you ask and you receive.
So don’t stay in that job that is killing you, ask your source to direct you to the right job.
Listen for the instructions on how to do it the supernatural way, and not by your own limited powers.
I am telling you from personal experience, this works.
I receive instructions every morning either in bed before I rise, during meditation or sometimes later in the day. I act on my inspirations and they always produce fruit. And because I act on them, I keep receiving more. If you don’t act on your gut instinct, your gut instincts will stop coming.
The bible teaches us not to do anything in your own strength! With God all things are possible.
Everything begins with our relationship with God and the improved quality of other relationships that develop out of this. In the intimacy of such a personal relationship, something of God’s own character gradually spills over into ours; it stimulates our transformation. From our new awareness and knowing that God loves us, comes an increased confidence and boldness to face life’s challenges and opportunities. It motivates and empowers us to take more risks. It becomes the platform for a whole new approach to courageous and virtuous living.
God said “Be fruitful and multiply, and repopulate the earth”
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward”
Can you truly have lived a meaningful and virtuous life if you have not multiplied yourself?
In the bible age, women who were barren were believed to be cursed.
In today’s age bearing a child is still considered one of the most rewarding and sought after experiences in life.
God hardwired unconditional love to the mother. A love that transforms hearts, an energy that is quantum, that means it can be felt over great distances just by thinking of your child.
I can tell you that the birth of my 2 children were the most meaningful things I did in my life. They are my reward, a gift that keeps on giving and giving.
The second question Dr Kalanitht asked as he faced his morality was:
“How do you nurture your child to live life, as yours fades away”
You see Dr Kalanitht and his wife decided to accept God’s plan for them to be fruitful and multiply.
They decided to leave a legacy behind, so they had a baby together.
The thought of leaving behind a child only increased the pain for Dr. Kalanitht.
We would all agree that leaving behind loved ones is the most painful part of death.
That is why we must live each day like it is your last.
You must impart all the love, knowledge and wisdom into your children when you are alive, so as they grow older, they would not depart from it and you will live on in their thoughts and hearts.
Be of Service to your community:
Your Success is in direct proportion to your service.
We must put the fuel in before we get heat.
No man can get rich by himself, unless he enriches the lives of others.
To lead you must first serve.
Your purpose in life will always include service to others.
Serving at the Ronald McDonald House
There’s a special connection that comes with preparing meals for others too heartbroken to cook for themselves. Making those dinners with a group of volunteers brings an intimacy and humility that cannot be matched. And one of the best spots I know to do that is at the Ronald McDonald House in Falls Church, Va., a place that offers comfort, refuge and care for families whose children are battling life-threatening illnesses.
Jarun Brown and Beverly Johnson prepare a meal at the Ronald McDonald House in Falls Church, Va.
Jarun Brown, 64, chops broccoli as we create a salad for 14 family members staying at the House. A social worker and former McDonald’s executive, she once “danced for a minute” with the Alvin Ailey Dance Company. Her previous corporate position earned her a seat on the Ronald McDonald House Charities (RMHC) board in Norfolk, Va., and she began volunteering with the Falls Church Ronald McDonald House six years ago.
“We do whatever is needed,” Brown says of the volunteers’ work. That could mean cooking a meal, cleaning the house, rotating refrigerated food or writing thank-you notes. Although volunteers and families don’t often stay in touch after leaving the House, Brown has kept in contact with a few families over the years. “It’s great to hear how our families are doing, and learn about the children’s recovery process,” she says.
Erin Petri, the evening manager, joins us. I give her an onion to chop and hope she doesn’t cry. A few minutes later another volunteer, Beverly Johnson, comes in. Volunteering with RMHC was on her bucket list after suffering the loss of a child years ago. A place like the Ronald McDonald House would have been helpful to her.
“I can relate [to what the families are experiencing] and that’s what makes it so special and so rewarding to me,” she says as she chops apples.
The families begin to enter the dining room. Several of them are drawn to the aroma of pineapple chicken simmering on the stovetop. We finish the broccoli salad and set it on the counter, next to the stove with the chicken and rice. It smells delicious and comforting, and we are happy that we have given these families what may be the only positive event for them that day.
Johnson offers to clean up, and I happily accept. “It is good therapy for me,” she says of her Ronald McDonald House work. “I think I’ve found my niche.”
Effective Time Management
The key to a stress-free life is effective time management.
If you are always working in red zone of deadline you will experience burnout.
Effective time management is scheduling your day to work on top priority tasks before you work on C or D priority tasks.
When you do this, you will eliminate stress.
Effective time management also means that you plan your days to include the things that give life meaning. Walking in nature, exercise, reading, sitting quietly to reflect or meditate, spending quality time with loved ones, and proper rest.
Getting quality sleep, good nutrition, and exercise
Physical exercise releases endorphins, improves sleep, prevents diseases, releases stress, prevents dementia, prolongs life….
I could go on and on.
Everybody knows that exercise is good for your body, mind, and soul; yet few do it.
Since our topic today is When breathe becomes air: How to live a virtuous and meaningful life.
I think everybody reading this would want to live a quality life. One that includes being healthy and independent.
The most effective way to ensure this is to get regular exercise, adequate nutrition and proper rest
In his book “The Eat to Live Plan” John Fuhrman MD says, our body’s are designed for wellness. Give it the right biochemical environment for healing and it becomes a miraculous self-healing machine. When you eat mostly high-nutrient foods, the body ages slower and is armed to prevent and reverse many common illnesses, like diabetes.
The exercise prescription.
Exercise is extremely important. Almost everyone can do something, even those who cannot walk can do arm, abdominal, and back exercises with light weights or use an arm cycle. Exercise will facilitate your weight loss and make you healthier. Vigorous exercise has a powerful effect on promoting longevity.
Spend quality time with loved ones
In human affairs, there are efforts, and there are results.
The strength of the effort is the measure of the result. We know this to be a fact.
If you studied for your test, you will get a better grade.
If you make more sales calls, you will get more sales; if you spend quality time with your spouse, you will have a better marriage, if you spend quality time with your kids, they wouldn’t act out looking for attention.
Invest in your relationships. Joel Osteen says that if you want your relationships to thrive, you must invest in them.
Be a giver rather than a taker. Strive to make deposits into the lives of your loved ones and other peoples lives. Encourage them, build them up, and help them to feel better about themselves.
One of the best advice I received on my wedding day, was to look at my marriage as a bank account. Don’t make withdrawals if I made no deposits”
Joel Osteen says the same thing.
Look at your relationships as an “emotional bank account” Every time you interact with loved ones or friends, you are either making a deposit or a withdrawal from your account.
You make deposits in the lives of your loved ones by giving them a hug and a kiss, telling them how much you love them, spending quality time with them, listening to them when they speak or being involved in the things they love like playing the piano, sports, painting etc.
We make withdrawals when we don’t take time for people, we don’t keep our commitments, when we don’t express appreciation. When we make more withdrawals than deposits our account becomes overdrawn.
The bible says in Ecclesiastes 5:3
The dream comes through much effort and the voice of a fool through many words.
Having a meaning and virtuous life comes through much effort. You can’t just have the knowledge and don’t put it into action, you can’t just talk about wanting to live a meaningful life and not put the effort in.
Having a fulfilling career takes effort. You must learn the skills and then work hard to move up through the corporate ladder or building your own business.
Having a relationship with God takes the effort to find time to meditate and listen for instructions.
Being a good parent takes a lot of effort. Someone else is depending on you.
Being of service to your community takes supreme effort. Who has the time you ask? But something happens when you help the less fortunate. When you work at the soup kitchen and feed the hungry; you find your humanity. All your pedilly problems seems insignificant.
It takes effort to manage your time effectively, and not become reactionary.
It takes effort to make sure you are eating a balanced diet and taking supplements. It takes effort to get up early to exercise or do it after a long day. But if you want to live a long and meaningful life, you will do it.
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This week on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast with coach Myrna, I interview Dr Donavan Outten, Dr Outten is going to share “How to unleash your inner greatness, so you can tap into the person God intended you to be.
But before I interview Dr Outten, I want to share with you coach Myrna’s Tip of the Week.
Tip of the week: Are you Desperate and Determined?
A few weeks ago, my pastor preached on the 3 D’s Desperate, Determined and dependent!
You see the 3 D’s require a mindset shift.
We see numerous times in the bible when God promoted and elevated people who were either desperate, determined or dependent on him for victory.
We see that every miracle begins with a desperate problem.
Lets look at the story of Esther to illustrate.
The story begins with Ahasuerus, ruler of the Persian Empire, holding a lavish banquet, initially for his court and dignitaries and afterwards for all inhabitants of the capital city, Shushan.
On the seventh day, Ahasuerus orders the queen, Vashti, to come and display her beauty before the guests by wearing only her crown. She refuses. Furious, Ahasuerus has her removed from her position and makes arrangements to choose a new queen from a selection of beautiful young women from throughout the empire.
One of these is the Jewish orphan, Esther. After the death of her parents, she was fostered by her cousin, Mordecai. She finds favor in the King’s eyes, and is crowned his new queen.
Ahasuerus appoints Haman as his viceroy. Mordecai, who sits at the palace gates, falls into Haman’s disfavour, as he refuses to bow down to him. Having discovered that Mordecai is Jewish, Haman plans to kill not just Mordecai, but all the Jews in the empire.
As the story unfolds, Esther the Jewish orphan turned queen, used her place as queen to intercede with the King; her desperation made her risk death because it was against the law to present herself to the King unsummoned, as this was punishable by death.
Her determination, desperation and dependence on God, saved the Jews of the Persian Empire.
My Guest this week on Mindset Transformation Radio is Dr Donavan Outten.
Dr. Donavan Outten is a powerful trainer, consultant, educator and administrator with over 20 years’ experience. He is the Associate Vice President of Academic Affairs at Webster University.
Dr. Outten is a published author of 2 books, one of which is our topic today. Unleash your inner greatness: A guide to overcoming obstacles and Tapping into the person God meant you to be.
Dr Outten writes books to inspire and motivate individuals to achieve greatness in their lives.
His research focuses on developing young African American Students in higher education. He has also produced seminars, lectures, classes, assessments and workshops throughout the United States and Caribbean.
Dr. Outten earned his Doctorate degree in Educational Leadership from Nova.
Southeastern University, his Masters in Human Resource Development & Administration from Barry University and Bachelors in Psychology from Bethune Cookman University.
Show notes: How to Unleash Your inner Greatness: : A guide to overcoming obstacles and Tapping into the person God meant you to be.
Question 1. I know that Unleashing our inner greatness is your space. Can you tell our audience what does it mean to “Unleash Your Inner Greatness” and a little of why you chose this topic as the subject of your book.
Question 2. So what are some of the obstacles to unleashing our inner greatness?
Question 3. Where does the power of determination come from?
Question 4. How does an individual muster up enough strength to have such strong determination to finish a task or overcome a devastating life situation?
• Where do they find the courage to stand up for what they believe in or battle back from a medical condition that almost took their life?
• How does one leave a secure job to start a business that they are passionate about?
• What is the secret to obtaining determination and maintaining it over a period of time?
• What kinds of people have it, and what is determination?
Dr Outten says, “In my heart, I truly believe that determination is having the will to move forward in spite of what obstacle, barrier, or difficulty you might be facing. It is looking adversity in the face and not backing down, but pushing forward with tenacity.”
He feels that Self-determination starts on the inside. It is first a thought or a belief that you can or will succeed no matter the problem you have to face. You believe in yourself even when no one else does. That spells confidence, character, and courage.
Question 5. What are some other obstacles to unleashing our inner greatness?
Resilience: The path toward nurturing a resilient mindset and lifestyle is a road
that should not be taken lightly. This path has many bumps, twists, turns, and potholes
and is never straightforward. The road often contains obstacles and detours
that interfere with reaching your destination.
Passion: Your passion does not usually appear overnight. It has been dwelling
inside you for a long time. As a child, what were you passionate about? As a
teenager, what were you passionate about? As a young adult, what were you
passionate about? Often times, you will identify a pattern in what you are
passionate about. It is up to you to identify what it is and go after it.
When turning your passion into profit, you have to be careful and work smarter,
not harder. You will run into a lot of obstacles and need to face your fears, as
things probably won’t go as smoothly as you’d like them to go. It’s all a part of
Destiny: Destiny can be referred to as a predetermined course of events. It may
be conceived as a predetermined future, whether in general or of an individual.
What you perceive your future to be will come to pass if you work for it, believe
in it, and live your life towards it.
What you have today does not reflect what you will obtain tomorrow. If you have
the capability of looking into your future and seeing what lies ahead, then all you
have to do is work towards your goal.
Walking towards your destiny is no easy task because you will have obstacles and
hurdles along the way. There will be road blocks that will make you think that
you are going down the wrong path, but you will need to have patience,
endurance, and faith. Your faith will play a big part in finding and fulfilling your
destiny; you will need to seek guidance from God.
Question 6. I know that you work predominately with the African American youth. What advice would you give them on being determined and staying the course?
You have to better than good, you have to be great.
You have to work twice as hard for the same opportunity as your white counterparts.