3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

how-can-i-be-happy-thumbnail

In our premier episode of “You Asked For It” Coach Myrna Young and coach Dan Willms answer the question. “How can I find happiness after a divorce?”

Listen to the full episode on YouTube
_blank”>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vxDGuSyiHQ

Coach Dan Willms talks about how your behavior affects your happiness. I agree; but here are my thoughts.

Happiness! The Universal goal of everyone who has breathe.

So, what is happiness?
Let’s start with what it is not.
It is not how much money you have.
It is not how big your house is.
It is not what kind of car you drive.
It is not found in any external thing!

Here are 3 ways to find happiness after a divorce:

1. Your relationship with yourself.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you.
3. And your relationship with God.

Let’s look at each of these
As you can see, relationship is key.

We are social beings, we need connection, even it is one person.
That is why people commit suicide at Christmas, because while everyone is celebrating with family and friends they are alone.
It is also the reason that social media is so powerful, it allows connection to others.

I will share a story.
This woman from Toronto sent me a friend request on Facebook. She was the friend of one of my friends. I accepted. Then she started reaching out to me about coaching and about my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” .

I found out her story.
Raped twice when she was a teenager, sent to live with her father in another country who abandoned her, got pregnant and gave her child up for adoption. She was living in a studio apartment alone. Facebook was her lifeline. You don’t know who is on the other end of that friend request!
So if you are lonely, connect!

1. Let’s look First at your relationship with yourself.

The first secret to finding happiness, You have to love yourself.
If you can’t love yourself, no one else can love you. If you can’t love yourself, you can never be happy!

You can start by finding one thing about you, that you love.
Come on, God knew what he was doing when he created you. Everyone has at least one thing that makes them stand out.
One of my daughter’s friend’s laments about the fact that she has no breasts and no curves. She can’t find a boyfriend. Why? Because she projects that and that is what the men see. Not loving herself shows up in other ways in a relationship.

Now look at some women who do not fit the cultural norm of beauty and weight. I can guaranty you that in every situation if she loves herself, she will be in a healthy relationship.
Plus, if there is something you can change about something you don’t like about yourself, do it.
If you can’t change it, find a different perspective on it and learn to love it.

2. Your relationship with those closest to you
A mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a best friend, a spouse are top on the list of level 5 intimate relationships. A level 5 relationship is a relationship with someone who knows your intimate secrets. Someone who you share everything with and they with you. If you have someone like this in your life. You are blessed indeed.
Now you may be wondering why I did not add children to that list. Children gives us profound happiness especially when they are young. But you can’t share secrets with your children so they don’t provide the intimacy we look for to be happy.
To be happy find a level 5 friend and cry on their shoulders!

3. And finally, your relationship with God.
The beauty of having a relationship with God is that it alone can make you happy. If you have a relationship with God, you will love yourself, you will be happy alone because you feel God’s presence with you always, your relationships will be heathy because you will love unconditionally because that is what God teaches us to do. You will find opportunities to bless others and that will make you happy.
A relationship with God is not just going to church, it is not just knowing scripture, it is not just about tithing. The relationship I am talking about is being in direct communication with God.
Going to God with your issues and struggles and seeing him make a way out of no way. Seeing him turn the weapons formed against you into blessings. Being able to receive guidance from the Holy Spirit every day. When you walk in that space everything else in your life falls into place.

You will not only find happiness again, but you will find bliss!

Coach Dan Willms is giving away one free ticket to a lucky winner to his Positive Change seminar worth $2000.00.
To sign up to be the lucky winner visit www.positivechange.us and enter the draw for your chance to win.

How to Detox the Body and Soul for Internal and External Success

Detoxing the Body and Soul
Detoxing the Body and Soul

Today on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Life Coach Kim McDaniel.
Kim is going to teach us How to Detox the Body and Soul for Internal and External Success. Kim is the author of the book “Come out with your hands Up – The Joy of Surrendering on God’s terms”

Why detoxing is important:
Building sky scrapers on weak foundations can be detrimental. In the same manner, piling on outer successes without addressing the internal structure, can look great from the outside, but cracks in the foundation will have one of two outcomes – explosion or implosion. Regularly detoxing the body and soul helps to ensure the integrity of the structure – our structure – and it must be intentional.

Coach Myrna tip of the week is:
The function of the soul is to indicate it’s desire.
The function of the mind is to choose from it’s alternatives.
The function of the body is to act out that choice.
The soul speaks to you in feelings. Feelings are the language
of the soul.
There comes a time in the evolution of every soul when the chief concern is no longer the survival of the physical body, but the growth of the spirit. No longer the attainment of worldly success, but the realization of self.
Upon death, the body and mind are not dropped. The body changes form, leaving it’s most dense part behind, but retaining it’s outer shell, joining with the spirit as one energy mass of 3 dimensions.

Show Notes:
Listen to hear Coach Kim answer the following questions:

What is the concept of detoxification – why is it relevant?

How frequently should one do a detox for the body?

Are you suggesting vegetarianism or veganism as the only way to be healthy?

What is alkalinity – does it relate to things beyond diet?

Detoxing the “soul” – what exactly does that refer to?

What about between detoxes – what do ongoing behaviors look like?

Is there really a science to detoxing the brain?

What is the relevance of building fences – I thought success looks like building bridges.

Tell me a little about your Get in S.H.A.P.E. program.
S – Stress and Sleep
H – Hydration
A – Alkaline
P- Purpose
E – Energy and Exercise

paradise

There is another way to Detox the body and the Soul!
Take that much needed break from your hectic city life and explore the soul-cleansing North-East.

Tired of your busy life? Tired of cliché destinations to escape it? Dawki welcomes you with its refreshingly serene ambience. The cool breeze will help you get rid of all your stress and soak in the quaint atmosphere.

Jeet Roy implores you to visit Dawki: “Go on a drive to Dawki on the Bangladesh border, travelling over the Jowai-Amlaren-Dawki road. The journey itself would be the destination – you would pass the waterfalls and stone bridge at Thlumuwi, the Pitcher Plant park at Jarain, numerous other streams, rivulets, and falls, till you finally break through the woods and hills over the picturesque Sylhet food-plains at Dawki.”

http://www.holidayiq.com/blog/6-places-in-the-north-east-for-a-soulful-detox-2064.html

Follow Coach Myrna
Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/MyhelpsInc/
Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/myhelps/
Twitter @ https://twitter.com/myrna_morris
web: www.myrnayounghelps.com
blog.myhelps.us

If you are interested in becoming a guest on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast email Coach Myrna Young @info@myhelps.us

Nothing is Impossible If you Believe

Nothing is Impossible If you Believe
Nothing is Impossible If you Believe

Nothing is impossible, If you believe. How to turn life’s challenges into opportunities of self-discovery and personal success.
Todays’ guest on the Mindset Transformation Radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, is Dr. Sheila D. Williams. Dr Williams is the author of “My Mother’s Keeper”

https://twitter.com/drsdwilliams
In keeping with the theme of my show here is my tip of the week.
Always finish the race, don’t be a quitter.
Come all the way through!
Don’t stop in the middle, don’t turn back!
Just finish the race.
Look at life like a long distance swim trip.
When you start out you have no idea what you are going to meet up with.
You can’t predict the weather, the waves, or any other hazards and obstacles on your journey.
You have to make up in your mind, that you will “Come all the way through,” That if you are able, you will finish the race.
If you get to the middle of the ocean and you run into a thunder storm for instance, you just can’t stop.
Going back is just as perilous as going forward. You have to “come all the way through”

That is exactly how life is, you can’t predict the storms, you can’t predict the challenges that you are going come up against.
You know that they will come. You have to decide up front to “come all the way through.”
You have to know for sure that Nothing is Impossible, if you believe.
God planted that goal or dream in you for a reason. You have something to give to mankind.

If you believe, you will achieve!

You just have to keep moving forward, going back is death to your dreams, it should not be an option!

Show notes:
Today’s show discusses mental illness and how Dr. Williams cared for her mother as she suffered through clinical depression.
Her purpose for writing this book is to shed light on this taboo topic and offer healing to her readers who may be going through something similar.
She decide to be very transparent on her mothers clinical depression and how she cared for her mother from the young age of 10.

Nothing is impossible, if you believe. Listen to hear how Dr Sheila overcame her childhood story and succeed as a Mental Health Therapist/Counselor, a behavior Analyst, Published Author, Life Coach and Educational Director. She tells how she worked sometimes 4 jobs while caring for her terminally ill mother and still was able to earn her PH.D.

Connect with Coach Myrna on Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/MyhelpsInc/

Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/myhelps/

Twitter @ https://twitter.com/myrna_morris

web: www.myrnayounghelps.com

To download a copy of Coach Myrna’s book “How to Mind your own business while working your day job”

Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job
Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job

http://myhelps.us/small-business-ebook/

Listen and Subscribe to my YouTube Channel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MCYP6hF8XM

How to Lose Weight Without Dieting

coach_myrna_youtube_thumbnail-1
Today on the Mindset Transformation Radio show, Coach Myrna interviews Dr Nina Savelle-Rocklin. Dr Nina will teach us “It’s not about willpower, how to lose weight without dieting” Dr Nina is the author of “Food for Thought” a book about the treatment of eating disorders.

Our emotions feed our food intake. Our brain responds to emotions and feelings. Dr Nina is going to teach us today about how emotions affect our eating.

In keeping with the format of my show, today my tip of the week looks at how positive emotions and negative emotions affect our daily lives.

Positive emotions or feelings can be likened to yeast in a loaf of bread. They raise your energy levels so that you can attract like thoughts floating around in the universe.

Thought impulses mixed with emotion are picked up quicker by infinite intelligence and acted upon.

There are 7 major positive emotions:
Desire
Faith
Love
Sex
Enthusiasm
Romance
Hope
These are the most powerful emotions for creating wealth and happiness.

There are also 7 major negative emotions
Fear
Jealousy
Hatred
Revenge
Greed
Superstition
Anger

Positive and negative emotions cannot occupy the mind at the same time. One or the other must dominate. You must make sure that positive emotions constitute the dominant emotions of your mind.

Form the habit of scanning your body to determine how you are feeling. If you find negativity immediately shift to a positive thought. With practice your positive emotions will dominate and negatives cannot enter in.

Negative emotions and feelings make you feel bad. Feeling bad is unnatural so we try to eat something, drink something, buy something or do something to make ourselves feel better. That is the source of addictive behaviors. You need to kill the ANTS. Automatic negative thoughts.
Check out my blog at blog.myhelps.us for more information on how to control your Automatic negative thoughts.

Guest Biography
Nina Savelle-Rocklin, Psy.D. is a psychoanalyst, author, speaker and internationally-recognized expert in weight, food and body image issues.

She has been featured in the Los Angeles Times, Prevention, Real Simple, Huffington Post and many other publications, and is a frequent guest speaker on podcasts, radio, summits and other events, including the prestigious National Meeting of the American Psychoanalytic Association.

Dr. Nina’s personal experience gives her a unique understanding of what it’s like to struggle – and she knows change is possible! She brings a fresh perspective by helping people understand “why” they turn to food instead of focusing on what they’re eating. In addition to her private practice, she writes an award-winning blog, Make Peace With Food, hosts a popular podcast, Win The Diet War with Dr. Nina, and offers “food for thought” on her video series, The Dr. Nina Show.

She has contributed to two psychoanalytic books, and her book “Food For Thought” on the treatment of eating disorders is to be published by Rowman & Littlefield later this year. Check out Dr Nina on the web at http://winthedietwar.com
Can you share your history and what led you to do this work?

Show Notes:

• Topic Discussion: It’s Not About Willpower! How To Lose Weight Without Dieting

• 2. Every year there’s a new fad diet – low carb, gluten free, Paleo. Why do you think diets don’t work?

• 3. What’s the best way to deal with food triggers?

• 4. What role does self-acceptance and self-esteem play in weight loss?

• 5. For our listeners who want to make changes, what are some of the things they can do to create change?

• 6. A lot of people lose weight but gain it back, or they’re always in that yo-yo diet cycle. What causes people to sabotage their weight loss efforts?

Listen on YouTube Now:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlQ-JSqGPgU

Remember to subscribe to my channel to get notice of future life changing content.
youtube-2

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8p2lfxF2GhOihRv8N3EZeA

Coach Myrna: 7 Ways to Get Unstuck from Old Patterns

Out of the Snarescoach_myrna_youtube_thumbnail_04

One of the worst negative emotions, in my opinion, is the feeling of being stuck. Defined as moving forward or back looks worse than staying in the misery of your current situation. How do you get yourself unstuck?

Our topic today is “7 Ways to get Unstuck from old patterns.” Listen Live on www.wdjyfm.com every Wednesday at 5.00 pm to the Mindset Transformation radio broadcast with Coach Myrna.

It is a place of no personal power

.
A few months back I received a note on LinkedIn from a young lady who said she was stuck. I felt her pain deep within my soul so I offered her a free coaching session.

She was in an abusive relationship. Her boyfriend was physically abusive to both her and her 2 year old daughter and she feared for her life. She had the courage to pack up and leave that situation. She lived in Florida and her only family lived in Atlanta, Georgia. So she quit her job, left her boyfriend and fled to her sister’s home in Atlanta. Her sister was unemployed and had 6 children. She was dependent on her husband for support. This young lady felt uncomfortable living in her sister’s home because she didn’t have anything for herself and now she had to feed her and her child. She called me because she felt she should go back to her abusive relationship!

feeling-stuck

How many of you can feel her pain?
Being stuck. When the pain of staying in your current intolerable situation looks better than the pain of leaving.
It could be a domestic situation
It could be an intolerable boss
It could be a demeaning job.

How do you make the decision?

How do you find the strength to want something better?

How did I coach this situation?

This is the major benefit of coaching, the ability of the coach to see the frame.

You see you can’t see the frame when you are the picture!

I knew that one of the reasons that my coachee was thinking of going back, was because she still loved her abusive boyfriend. She was trying to get someone else to agree with her.
So I asked her “Do you still love this man?” And she said yes.
Then I allowed her to become aware of what her brain was doing.
I told her that because she still loved this man, she is using the situation of her sister’s lack as the reason to return.
I asked her “Do you think your sister would want you to go back to that situation and maybe end up dead”? She said “no.”
I said think about it. What exactly are you taking from your sister? Space. Space doesn’t cost them anything.
I asked her if she had any money?
She said “yes.” So I said, use that money to buy food for you and your daughter so you can feel better about being a charity case.
.
After we got past the negative feelings, we were then able to plan for the future.

You can’t plan and have hope when you are busy wallowing in negative energy and self-pity.

I asked her about job prospects and she told me she had an interview scheduled for the next day.
That my friends is the First secret to getting unstuck.

1: Hope and Faith!

Faith that God can make a way out of no way.

Faith that even though you can’t see the entire stairway you know that the stairs are there.

The message of faith in this story is that you can’t think that God intended for you to live in an abusive home being dependent on an abusive man for your survival. You have to be able to get out of the valley and see the light of the mountain top. You have to know in your heart that you were meant to be more. You have to want more for your children.

Once you find that positive energy, things will begin to open up. Opportunities will come your way, God will open doors shut by the devil and your negative emotions.

My coachee got the job.
She now lives in Atlanta and she is happy!
The devil is a liar, don’t let him convince you that you can’t do better.

2: Another way to getting unstuck is to move the energy around.

The universe is made up of energy. We are a bundle of energy.
When you have stuck energy it causes disease.
So you have to force yourself to get off the couch, you have to do something, anything.
Do it until you feel like doing it. Do the things you don’t feel like doing until you feel like doing it!

Another client of mine got fired from his job so he sat around all day with his hurt feelings.
Blaming his boss and all his friends who did not support him.

You have to get over dissapointment and hurt so you can get on with it.
Don’t let tragedy destroy you.
Don’t stop, continue to stay busy.
Continue to work your plan take small steps if you can’t take big steps
Automatic negative thoughts don’t take any effort on your part they come naturally like weeds in your garden.
But if you want to grow roses or orchids in your garden it takes special effort and a process.

Similarly, being stuck on something someone did to you is natural.
Feeling angry when your kids are ungrateful for the sacrifices you made for them is natural.
Being fired after working at your job for 10 years, never taking time off for your kid’s soccer matches or dance recitals is natural.
Feeling vengeful at the betrayal of your spouse is natural.

It is natural to be angry, hurt, disappointed, vengeful; but it is important not to stay there.

It is important not to get stuck with your negative emotions. You have to get over them and move on.

3: Seek the council of others when you feel Stuck

What my friend on LinkedIn did was good. She contacted a coach. She received council and got a fresh perspective.
Even if she not heed my advice, she still moved the energy by doing something.

4: Another way is to find peace with the situation if you can’t or won’t move right now.

One way to do this is to memorize and recite the serenity prayer several times per day

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

One of the first things they taught us in coaching school is that you can’t coach someone that is not in front of you. Why was this important? Because most coachees will come into the coaching conversation complaining that their life is a mess because of the actions of someone else. The only person that you can change is yourself. You have no control over the behavior of anyone other than yourself.

I remember a sermon I heard from my first Pastor. He said whenever he felt like complaining about his wife he would pray and ask God to change him!

So for example if you are stuck for the moment in job with a bad boss. Change the way you look at the bad things he or she does. If he or she talks to you with disrespect. You can tell yourself it is not personal, that he or she speaks to everyone like that because he doesn’t know any better.

If he only talks to you with disrespect you can tell yourself that he doesn’t know you and let his words not penetrate your consciousness. He can talk but you do not hear or transfer the words. It becomes just noise.

This is a simple example but it works with anything. This is also called the Law of Allowing. It especially works in intimate relationships.
When you stop resisting and allow your partner the freedom to self-express, you open up the path towards healing the brokenness and allow the relationship to become healthy.

Concentrate only on what you are doing and saying. Stop reacting to stimuli and watch what happens.

5: Another technique is to notice when you are stuck and distract yourself

Come back to the problem later
Write out options and solutions
Write out the worrying situation
Write what you can do about it
Write what you cannot control about it.

6: Most importantly are your thoughts. Whether you are stuck or not, your thinking makes it so.

The thoughts that matter most are your self-thoughts.
It is never the situation that causes you to be stuck but your thoughts and feelings about the situation that makes you feel stuck.

Your thoughts influence your emotions, so to get unstuck think differently, and you will feel differently.

Sometimes, how you think someone should respond to you, blocks your blessings. If you move yourself and your ego out of the way.
Then maybe God can give you what he has in store for you.

Look at the bible story of Naaman. Naaman was angry because the profit did not come out and greet him and bow down to him when he came to him to heal his leprosy. Instead the profit Elisha sent a messenger out to tell Naaman to go wash himself in the river Jordon seven times and he will be restored. . Naaman went away angry because he felt disrespected. But he was smart enough to accept council from one of his servants. The servant told him he had nothing to loose by following the instructions of the profit. The servant was able to see the frame around the picture. Naaman could not. He could only see the situation that was making him mad. He decided to follow the profit’s instructions.
He went and dipped himself in the river Jordon seven times and he came out perfect and clean!.

Naaman almost missed his blessing by reacting to what he considered disrespect.

Some of you are just stuck because of poisonous thinking.
Your thoughts can poison your spirit, and then you never see positive only negative.

As Neapolitan Hill said

As a man thinking so is he.

Shakespeare puts it another way

“Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”

7: You have to know yourself to grow yourself

You have to know where your pattern started.
You have to make the connection between your old story and your current circumstances

Eg. If your mother gave you up for adoption and your feeling of abandonment are keeping you stuck in Low self-esteem,
you should become aware that your past has nothing to do with your future.

You know better, that you are not your mom and she had her reasons.
The deeper truth is that you are responsible for your life and not what someone did to you.
You have to shift and take responsibility, you have to know that you keep getting into these situations because of your lack of self-esteem or because of your need for security.
Awareness is key. Once again, a coach can help if you can look at your patterns objectively.

What are you blaming?
What is your pattern? What is the evidence of your pattern?

I had a coaching client who had 3 failed marriages where the men stole from her.
We had to find her pattern and why she kept attracting and falling in love with the same type of man.

We discovered that she loved how her dad took care of her mom and paid all the bills, so she kept looking for that trait in a man.
She ended up getting the opposite.

Did you know that nothing exists without its opposite?
You can’t know light without knowing darkness.
In order to know if something is good you first have to experience bad!

She had to learn to create a new pattern.
She had to go inside and use her feminine power of intuition to pick a mate.
She had to listen to her inner desire and not the outer desire for material pleasures.
When she did that she shifted her pattern and created a new one.
Now she is in the best relationship of her life.

She tells me that she has touched the moon and it feels so good!

To read about my personal journey of getting Unstuck, pick up a copy of my book
” Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
Adobe Photoshop PDF

Out of the Snares