3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

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In our premier episode of “You Asked For It” Coach Myrna Young and coach Dan Willms answer the question. “How can I find happiness after a divorce?”

Listen to the full episode on YouTube
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Coach Dan Willms talks about how your behavior affects your happiness. I agree; but here are my thoughts.

Happiness! The Universal goal of everyone who has breathe.

So, what is happiness?
Let’s start with what it is not.
It is not how much money you have.
It is not how big your house is.
It is not what kind of car you drive.
It is not found in any external thing!

Here are 3 ways to find happiness after a divorce:

1. Your relationship with yourself.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you.
3. And your relationship with God.

Let’s look at each of these
As you can see, relationship is key.

We are social beings, we need connection, even it is one person.
That is why people commit suicide at Christmas, because while everyone is celebrating with family and friends they are alone.
It is also the reason that social media is so powerful, it allows connection to others.

I will share a story.
This woman from Toronto sent me a friend request on Facebook. She was the friend of one of my friends. I accepted. Then she started reaching out to me about coaching and about my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” .

I found out her story.
Raped twice when she was a teenager, sent to live with her father in another country who abandoned her, got pregnant and gave her child up for adoption. She was living in a studio apartment alone. Facebook was her lifeline. You don’t know who is on the other end of that friend request!
So if you are lonely, connect!

1. Let’s look First at your relationship with yourself.

The first secret to finding happiness, You have to love yourself.
If you can’t love yourself, no one else can love you. If you can’t love yourself, you can never be happy!

You can start by finding one thing about you, that you love.
Come on, God knew what he was doing when he created you. Everyone has at least one thing that makes them stand out.
One of my daughter’s friend’s laments about the fact that she has no breasts and no curves. She can’t find a boyfriend. Why? Because she projects that and that is what the men see. Not loving herself shows up in other ways in a relationship.

Now look at some women who do not fit the cultural norm of beauty and weight. I can guaranty you that in every situation if she loves herself, she will be in a healthy relationship.
Plus, if there is something you can change about something you don’t like about yourself, do it.
If you can’t change it, find a different perspective on it and learn to love it.

2. Your relationship with those closest to you
A mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a best friend, a spouse are top on the list of level 5 intimate relationships. A level 5 relationship is a relationship with someone who knows your intimate secrets. Someone who you share everything with and they with you. If you have someone like this in your life. You are blessed indeed.
Now you may be wondering why I did not add children to that list. Children gives us profound happiness especially when they are young. But you can’t share secrets with your children so they don’t provide the intimacy we look for to be happy.
To be happy find a level 5 friend and cry on their shoulders!

3. And finally, your relationship with God.
The beauty of having a relationship with God is that it alone can make you happy. If you have a relationship with God, you will love yourself, you will be happy alone because you feel God’s presence with you always, your relationships will be heathy because you will love unconditionally because that is what God teaches us to do. You will find opportunities to bless others and that will make you happy.
A relationship with God is not just going to church, it is not just knowing scripture, it is not just about tithing. The relationship I am talking about is being in direct communication with God.
Going to God with your issues and struggles and seeing him make a way out of no way. Seeing him turn the weapons formed against you into blessings. Being able to receive guidance from the Holy Spirit every day. When you walk in that space everything else in your life falls into place.

You will not only find happiness again, but you will find bliss!

Coach Dan Willms is giving away one free ticket to a lucky winner to his Positive Change seminar worth $2000.00.
To sign up to be the lucky winner visit www.positivechange.us and enter the draw for your chance to win.

# 9 Love “Out of the Snares”


How to love yourself

The 9th Principle taught in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” is Love.
Love. This 4 letter word is so powerful!
It is actually the most powerful force in the universe!
It can break the bonds of years, sometimes generations, of addictions and generational curses.

God’s love for humanity caused him to send his only begotten son Jesus to die for our sins so that we can have everlasting life.

A mother’s love for her child gives her superhuman strength, to save her child from death or injury.

Love
Love

The love we have for our wifes and husbands keeps off stress and diseases when that love is active and healthy.
You see when we are in the throes of our love experiences, we look at the world through rose colored glasses.
Everything is sunny. We stop to smell the roses.
Our hearts beat faster when our loved ones are near.

We ride the energy waves of this spiritual connection and in turn we feel energized, we smile and laugh more and we don’t sweat the small stuff!

Research shows that this positive energy force cleanses our ethereal bodies and removes patches of stuck energies that can cause disease.

In my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement,
I share my encounters with love. These encounters have shaped my current world and allowed me to embrace love because I know from personal experiences how good it feels!

The energy of love combined with sexual energy is even more powerful!
When you transmute sexual energy for the person you love, you can create or imagine life changing books, companies and inventions that propel humanity forward!

But, it all starts with self-love.
Justin Bieber – Love Yourself (PURPOSE : The Movement)

You can’t give away what you don’t have.

In order for you to give love to another you must first have love inside of you.
You have to love yourself, you have to love your world or the space you work and play in your world.

You have to love God, your creator.

When you love yourself you gain self confidence
Self-confidence is necessary for you to be successful in your career and in your business
Click the link below to hear a powerful story of how lack of self-confidence can ruin your world.

Love doesn’t have to be the Notebook kind with grand gestures and sacrifice.
We love to watch movies like the Notebook about true love that never dies.
We are inspired by stories about Edward, Prince of Wales and Wallace Simpson and how he chose love over the throne; but most of us would settle for the simple acts of love.
love holding

http://pulptastic.com/korean-artist-beautifully-illustrates-real-love/
This artist depicts these acts in her paintings so wonderfully and every couple should aspire to connect on this level.
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse coming up and giving them a hug while they are cooking in the kitchen?
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse watching chick flicks with them and enjoying it as much as they do?
• Who wouldn’t love going out for ice cream and licking each other ice cream cones and stealing a kiss?
• Who wouldn’t love just being in a room and just enjoying each other, laying on your husbands lap while you read a book?
• Who wouldn’t like coming home and seeing your husband with a apron on in the kitchen cooking dinner?

love icecream
Everyone!

Love shouldn’t be only for your spouse, children, family and friends. Love should be for all relationships in and out of the workplace, with customers, suppliers, everyone!

Giving love and compassion to the people you work with yields immense diffidence
In his book “How to win Business and Influence Friends” by Tim Sanders, Chief solutions Officer at Yahoo calls this BizLove
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Is-Killer-App-Influence/dp/1400046831This book shows how to be a LoveCat at work.

Here are 5 ways to be a LoveCat at work:
1. Greet everyone who walks into your office or room with eye contact and a smile.
2. Hug your close associates or people you have a personal relationship at work.
3. Replace the word Hate with the word Love whenever you can and watch it transform the energy.
4. Read lots of books and offer the knowledge gained from these books to your co-workers to help them with projects, initiatives or difficult personal situations.
5. Start a book club at work and have everybody share cliff notes from the books read.

All in all, love is like a boomerang, it always comes back so give it freely.

It is like seeds that blow in the wind. It does not always come back from the people we choose to love but it always comes back

Check out my chapter on Love in my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE

Click here to Download a copy my Free EBook!

“Small Business, How to Mind your own business while working your day job”
Love yourself enough to start building your personal Brand.

Click here for more information

Small Business:How to Mind Your Own Business while Working your Day Job

Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job
Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job

Principle # 3 Let the Universal Laws of Attraction Work For You

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#outofthesnares

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Matthew 7:7

This is a big topic. There is a lot written on the Laws of Attraction. In my book “Out of the Snares” I embrace this Law fully. I also expected and allowed what I was attracting to show up. I lived consciously believing that ..

“there are no coincidences in life, that everything moment is as it should be.” ~~Deepak Chopra

I tell the story in my book “Out of the Snares” of me coming to the USA under the USA Free trade agreement, which allows Canadians and Mexicans to open up branch offices of current businesses in the USA; but when I got to the United States, I decided I wanted the benefits of being an American. I told myself “It would be nice if I found a husband.” As soon as I concentrated on that possibility, the Universe started offering up to me suitors for me to choose from!

Out of the Snares
Out of the Snares

But there is more to becoming a deliberate creator, than just asking and receiving for everything you want. We all know it does not work like that. Some of you have been asking the Universe and praying to God for years, and you are still waiting to manifest your desires into your experience.

Here are 5 ways to help with being a deliberate creator and invoking the Laws of Attraction.

1. Offer no resistance:
You have to offer no resistance to what you are asking for. e.g. In the above example. If when the thought, came to me to find a husband and I had a bad experience with a prior husband and I told myself that most men are no good, then essentially what I am doing is saying on one hand I would like a husband and on the other hand, I don’t want a man because they are nothing but trouble.

2. You have to allow it to come in.
Look at your list of things you want to attract in your life as people outside the walls of one of the ancient cities. They can’t come in unless someone opens the gates of the city. In a similar way, you have to quiet your mind and stop confusing the Universe with all the stuff in your head. Find time every day to meditate and allow the Universe to work for you.

3. You have to believe

Faith is the evidence of things unseen. The bible teaches that if you have the faith of a mustard seed, you can say to the mountain get up and go into the sea. Logically and in the physical world that is not possible but Jesus was teaching us that “If you believe you can do anything.” That is truth. I have seen amputees climb to the top of Mount Everest, I have seen people swim across lakes, I have seen human beings defy incredible odds to survive and achieve. It all starts in the mind, if you think you can.

4. You have to be conscious of your emotions.
Your emotions are a powerful indicator of if you are moving towards or away from your desires. If you feel elated and happy, you are moving in the direction of your desires; if you feel dread and nervousness then that is your heart telling you that it knows something you don’t. Learn to pay attention. The trick is to not spend time thinking about the things that make you feel bad because you will attract more of them.

5. Become a deliberate creator or Sorcerer.
Sorcerer means from the source. Becoming a Sorcerer means that you are letting source energy work for you. It means that you meditate on what you want, pray and ask God to help you get it and then you move out of the way and let him do his work. The focus here is on the word “meditate”. You have to get still and hear God. When you do, you will get inspiration and instruction on how to move that mountain out of the way. You will get instructions on how to turn your business around, how to motivate your children, new book ideas etc.

In my book “Out of the Snares” I share with you, my readers, the principles of the Bible and the Universal Laws or Truths that I stood on to win. Order your copy today.http://myhelps.us/book-order/

Get 4 coaching sessions for $100.00 with the order of Out of the Snares

Place order here:
http://myhelps.us/book-order/

What Are You Waiting Patiently on God For?

Chapter one: Out of the Snares

Take away: Be careful what you wish for.

It is important to understand or become conscious of why you want the things or certain people to come into your life. If you are asking God for a child, be conscious of why you want a child. Is it because you want someone to love you or you want something to love? A puppy can satisfy that need.
If you are asking God for a spouse, is it because you want to share your life and be important to someone, or is it because you need help with your bills? Awareness is the key to understanding your desires.

When what you want does not show up, what do you do?
Do you become depressed and lose faith in God?

In the first chapter of my book “Out Of The Snares”, I share with you my journey to adopting my twin girls. I write about where the desire originated from. I share how I responded to the resistance offered up by the Universe and people at the Department of Children’s and Families. I share with you how the Laws of Detachment worked for me.

The Law of Detachment works with faith. Faith that God will grant you the desires of your heart, so you give this desire to God and you let him work out the details. You become detached. Not from the outcome but from the journey.

If a desire comes from your true self
It has within it the power to manifest.

For example: let’s say that you are going on a road trip to Florida from California. Your GPS navigational system can take you, the fastest way, the longest scenic way, or the cheapest way to avoid tolls. Regardless, of the route you take, you will be confident that route will take you to Florida.
In a similar way, you have to be confident in God that all roads will lead you to your destination. So, don’t become frustrated and give up.

The trick is to detach yourself from all the craziness and petty people trying to take from you what God has purposed for you to have. You must also remember that God’s time usually does not coincide with your time, so learn patience and get yourself ready.
If you are asking God for a promotion, learn the skills necessary for this new job.
If you are asking God for a child, learn how to be the best parent ever, read parenting books.
If you are asking God for a spouse, learn how to have effective relationships.
If you need to lose weight, work on it. Be the best that you can be and when God feels you are ready, he will give you the victory, because you serve a living God, who is able to do all things.

“Out of the Snares” Now Available on Amazon in eBook format.
Download your copy today!
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE
Print version available in September.

We Can All Be the Authors of Our Own Lives

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by Jason Silva

We’re all the authors here. And I think that one of the first things that we can do is if we understand the power of self-amplifying feedback loops, the way our spaces influence our thinking and our thinking in turn influences our spaces, is that we could then control what happens to us by exercising creative control over the circumstances that we throw ourselves into.

And there’s always going to be the wild card. There’s always going to be the circumstances you can’t plan for. There’s always the unexpected relevance and the serendipity. But just like that book The Power of Pull talks about, we can funnel the serendipity or we can channel the serendipity funnel. We can help engender and engineer serendipity by the choices that we make every moment, right?

So by cultivating rich social networks, by cultivating weak ties, not just closed ties but the weak ties, by becoming connectors and by connecting others so that they connect us, we create a world in which these self-amplifying feedback loops feed on top of each other. So good circumstances lead to other good circumstances which lead to other good circumstances and each one of them encourages us to then live more openly and participate in that sort of creative flow space. You can go on and on.

But at the risk of sounding like a self-help book, I just really believe that our creative choices ultimately shape who we become and so we should all be discerning and be radically open whenever possible and I think that we really can make a masterpiece out of our own lives if we so choose. But that requires, it requires a boldness of character as well, because seeing the radical freedom that we have to compose our lives, what Leary called internal freedom, could also cause vertigo.

The vertigo of freedom, this dizzying – what do I do? I can do anything? Well, the paradox of too much choice. But I think we can embrace that with courage and with boldness, and once we do, there’s nothing we can’t do.

In Their Own Words is recorded in Big Think’s studio.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock