Drug and Alcohol Treatments for Women with Trauma

Childhood sexual trauma Transform Your Mind podcast

Childhood Abuse, has continually been linked to substance abuse for women. In this Episode we look at, Drug and Alcohol treatments, for women with trauma, who were abused by men and parents during childhood.

I interview Dr Tra Ahia who is the author of “Call me an Addict, War on Women

Call me an Addict
Call me an Addict

She has been recognized as a champion of woman’s issues. Particularly women who have struggled to maintain a positive balance in their lives despite addiction. As the Therapist for women in Rehab for over 30 years, Dr Ahia was responsible for the, drug and alcohol treatments for women with trauma, who turned to substance abuse to as a means to cope with trauma.

Her work in, addiction and recovery, began some thirty years ago and has empowered thousands of women as they transitioned to a healthy place in their lives. Dr Ahia’s research has been a motivating force in moving many broken women away from the men in their lives that lead them down the path of destruction, confusion, and addiction to a place where they are whole mentally, physically and emotionally with, drug and alcohol treatments.

In the book “Call me an Addict” Dr Ahia tells the brutal stories of 3 women.  We will look at one of these women on the blog and podcast on the, Transform Your Mind radio and Podcast with Life Coach Myrna Young.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

This is a summary Kelly's story in the Book “Call me an Addict”

Kelly's first memory at 2 years old was her father punching her in the face for not eating her food.  Then she remembered at 5 years old taking her father’s fingers as she sat on his lap with his friends and sticking them in her vagina!

That was the start of her life that included sex with her father, an alcoholic and abusive mother, promiscuity with men at age 14.

At age 15 her parents gave her away to her boyfriend and moved to another city. She had her first child soon after and was homeless because the boyfriend also moved away to another city and left her to look after a child with no home and no income.

Another man gave her a place to live in return for sex. He ended up marrying her and they had 3 more kids.

Her abuse resulted in her abuse of alcohol and rehab. Her, drug and alcohol treatments for women with trauma, was not successful. She continued to relapse.

Kelly started drinking heavily at 14 years old and used it for escape. It was drinking, sex, and prostitution.

Her story ended with her kids being placed in the custody of child protective services and she being placed in rehab for the 3rd time.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

What was so sobering to me hearing this story was how 3 generations were ruined from addictions. Kelly's father and mother were both addicts. She hated them both. She became an addict and then her eldest daughter followed her lifestyle. One of the most profound statements in the story to me was when Kelly said she and her daughter would fight all the time about who was the bigger whore!

As a Life Coach and survivor of child sexual abuse, I can say that the reason my life didn't spin out of control like Kelly's was because even before I knew anything about mindset and the power of intention, I wanted respect. I did not want to be known as a Bad Girl or whore. A girl who is free with sex and all the boys talk about her.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

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In my book “Out of the Snares, a story of Hope and Encouragement”, I share a similar story about my molester fingering me in his car as he drove me to school. I had the mindset to become a player in this game of life and not become a victim. You see victims have no power. Like Kelly she was powerless to stop her father from molesting her. In fact, another sobering part of her story was when she told her father “No” and he returned with the handle of a mop and stuck it up her ass. He told her with that move that she was nothing more than his bitch and he could do with her anything he wanted.

But we as women always have power!

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Drug and Alcohol Treatment for Women with Trauma

Women are placed in Rehab facilities either by the Police, their families or sometimes they walk in on their own accord

Rehab facilities are an intensive in house process

As the in house Therapist my job was to administer, drug and alcohol treatments to these women with trauma, by helping them to learn from their addictions.

These Therapy sessions were conducted one on one and their, drug and alcohol treatments, were first understanding how they got to that point in their lives.

They first had to accept that they were addicts

These, drug and alcohol treatments for women with trauma, were 30 days to 6 months and sometimes even years

Most people including families do not understand that, drug and alcohol treatments for women with trauma, were not miracle drugs, these women were trying to get over abuse from their childhood.  They can't be cured in 6 months when they had these traumas for 10, 20 even 30 years.

After the intensive in house, addiction and recovery, treatments these women continue their, drug and alcohol treatments for women with trauma, in an half way house for about one year.  In this house they are expected to remain clean, get jobs, practice self love and self care  and become contributing members to their community.

For more information on Dr Tra Ahia's work and to pick up a copy of her book visit her on the web at www.forlifeservices-cc-com

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Here are some of the Symptoms from Childhood Sexual Trauma Resulting in Addiction.

PTSD is a mental health condition triggered by a traumatic event. Symptoms can emerge months or even years after the sexual trauma. Some common symptoms of PTSD include flashbacks, nightmares, intense distress when exposed to sights, sounds, or smells that trigger memories of the trauma, and bodily reactions when reminded of the trauma.

Dissociation

Dissociation, often associated with PTSD, is feeling disconnected or dissociated from one’s body. It can affect a person’s ability to focus, concentrate and function for periods of time. In an effort to detach from the sexual trauma, people learn to numb themselves from the pain. Dissociation is often referred to as avoidance coping, because survivors use it as a mechanism to escape and pull away from their past.

The Road to Recovery

The recovery from sexual trauma is a healing journey that takes time. Children who have been traumatized by sexual abuse often report feelings such as shame, terror, depression, and guilt. They often blame themselves for the abuse. Although drugs and alcohol can give survivors a moment of reprieve, there are dangerous risks and high costs to that emotional escape.

Sexual abuse not only leaves emotional and psychological scars, but it can lead to dangerous risk-taking behaviors, like using drugs. Substances are only a temporary fix and they can’t erase the past. Fortunately, dark moments don’t have to last, and drugs don’t have to cover unhealed wounds. Survivors can learn healthy coping skills and become a beacon of encouragement and hope to other youth who travel a similar path toward healing.​

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Additional Resources for Drug and Alcohol Treatments for Women with Trauma

https://launchcenters.com/treatment/

https://americanaddictioncenters.org/blog/the-link-between-child-abuse-and-substance-abuse

https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/drug-addiction/related-topics/connection-child-abuse/#gref

 

http://blog.myhelps.us/10-ways-childhood-trauma-impact-adults-in-love/

http://blog.myhelps.us/protecting-your-child-from-sexual-abuse-at-home/

http://blog.myhelps.us/surviving-r-kelly-mindset-sexual-predator/

How to Apply The Law of Divine Oneness To Your Life

law of divine oneness

We are extensions of source energy also called God or the Universe. The, Law of Divine Oneness, says we are all one with the, Universe. You may have heard the statement. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.  We are made up of a body, soul and spirit.

We came into this physical body with a purpose, and that is to grow and evolve. So we embarked on this game. We can call it the, game of life,  or we can call it the matrix!
We are living in a, matrix! And just like the, matrix, there are rules in how you play the game.

The Rules of the Law of Divine Oneness

The rules are the, laws of the Universe. The first Law we will discuss is, The Law of Divine Oneness.
If you are a bible scholar you will recognize lots of parallels between the, laws of the Universe, and the teachings of, Jesus.
Jesus, came into his physical body with the awareness that he was a subset of God or God incarnate in the flesh.  He understood, The Law of Divine Oneness.

We are also a subset of God, that is why man can command diseases to leave the body and perform the same miracles, Jesus, did in the earth. Jesus, most profound scripture tells us

“If we have the faith as small as a mustard seed, we can command the mountain to move into the sea.”

I bet you have never seen anyone do that in the natural, but in the, matrix, you can! In Higher consciousness you can. I have heard of monks elevating their bodies and travelling from one place to another.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Universal Law, The Law of Divine Oneness

The Law of Divine Oneness, means that we are all connected to one source. Everything we do effects the collective consciousness of the entire, universe.
That is why when we contribute to others and in some way make their lives better, it gives us the highest joy. The bible teaches that it is better to give than to receive and that is because when we give, when we share what we have, it makes us feel good.
That is also why the word, Namaste, is so powerful. It means I see the divine in you. Put another way is, I see God's light in you. We are all God's children.

We all originated from one energy, called the source. The Law of Divine Oneness, Everything in this Universe is made up of energy. The bed you sleep in, the TV you watch, the rocks in your garden, the car you drive and most importantly your thoughts. This energy is vibrating in circular patterns.
Visualize a Ferris wheel. You start off at the bottom and circle to the top and then you are back to where you started. You can get off or you can continue circling in a continuous loop. This is the same as energy. It is circling and whatever we send out is what we will get back.

Even though every object or thing is made up of energy, this energy is vibrating at different frequencies for each thing or object. Your positive thoughts for instance are vibrating at the highest frequency, while your negative thoughts are vibrating at a lower frequency. Just like light envelops darkness, your positive feelings and emotions can eat up your negativity and bad feelings. So always look for the higher vibrations of positive thoughts and feelings.
Now we can take this further. If you attach the energy of emotion to your thoughts, it multiplies your energy. This leads to a quicker harvest or manifestation. Think of it as a super charged Ferris wheel spinning faster and faster!
Your emotions are a good indicator of the frequency you are vibrating. Learn to pay attention to your feelings, they are indications of what you are manifesting either consciously or unconsciously.
Whenever you feel depression, anxiety or trepidation, it is telling you that you are going in the opposite direction to your destiny.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Conclusion Law of Divine Oneness

Everything that exists seen and unseen are connected to each other, inseparable from each other to a field of, divine oneness.  Divine all knowing, the matrix, pure consciousness or universal mind energy, sometimes also known as Life Force or God.  Everything is one.

Increasing awareness of this law will increase our awareness of God and awareness of being connected to everything.  It is important for us as a human race to start realizing and understand this law.  As we do, we will realize that what we think of each other should only for good.  As we think of the good in others, they will in turn think of the good in you.  It is essential that the thoughts, feeling and actions be for good, for we “reap what we sow”.

As you gain a fuller understanding of the laws, you will see how they are all related and overlap each other and govern the world we live in.

Everything consists of, and exists as energy. Your subatomic particles aren’t fixed, in fact, particles may be flowing into and out of you now from: this page, the sky, the floor, your best friend and your worst enemy. In other words, there is no separation. How would you behave if you really knew that you were not separate from life, your friends, colleagues and every being that has ever existed? The answer is this – probably differently.

Today we discussed the first Law of the Universe, The Law of Divine Oneness . Tune in next week when I will teach on the second, Law of the Universe, for success – The law of vibration!
Until next time, Namaste

More links and resources:

https://youtu.be/EZd6vUd_APE

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-use-law-of-attraction-thrive/
http://blog.myhelps.us/the-power-of-the-seed-are-you-eating-your-seed-a-spiritual-life-and-leadership-blog/
https://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/display/librarydisplay.cgi?lid=784
https://lawsoftheuniverse.weebly.com/divine-oneness.html

Using Spiritual Psychology as A Personal Transformation Tool

Donna Bond spiritual psychology

Spiritual psychology, is a lens that we look through that teaches us everything that's happening in our life, is happening for us. That all of our challenges are beautifully designed opportunities, or I should say beautifully disguised opportunities giving us the steppingstones, we need to grow and evolve and transform. It is a, personal transformation, tool that helps us into our next level of protection to really fulfill our intelligence, which is the fullest realized expression of who we come here to be in this life.

Download the podcast here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11505423-how-to-use-spiritual-psychology-as-a-personal-development-tool.mp3?download=true

What is Spiritual Psychology

Donna: Spiritual psychology, is really a technology that was innovated and pioneered by doctors Ron and Mary Holman at the University of Santa Monica. Spiritual psychology, is a lens that we look through that teaches us everything that's happening in our life is happening for us. That all of our challenges are beautifully designed opportunities, or I should say beautifully disguised opportunities. Giving us the steppingstones, we need to grow and evolve and transform into our next level of protection to really fulfill our intelligence, which is the fullest realized expression of who we come here to be in this life.

Book: Original Wisdom: Harness the Power of the Authentic You
Book: Original Wisdom: Harness the Power of the Authentic You

And that's what it is. It's a perspective, right? It is a way to see the world and when we start seeing the world as if everything that's happening is really this beautifully designed opportunity for us to grow and learn and change and evolve. And we start seeing the world from an empowered place, rather than seeing the world from a place of feeling victimized by life circumstances and life's happenstance of life's craziness.

Myrna: That is actually quite good. And I would get as you're talking, I'm imagining myself in a coaching session, and you're talking to someone, and they are saying Oh, my life has been very bad, and all these different things happened to me. And then you can turn that around and say, you know what, what did this teach you? What do you think that this revealed to you? What strengths did you bring out of that? That is a, spiritual psychology, session.

I am actually loving it. Now you guys are calling it a different name. But the Bible teaches that everything happens for your good.  Actually, it's one of the scripture verses that I that I adhere to, and it's one of my foundation scriptures is that yes, everything happens for your good. So now that I've opened that door, so how do you use, spiritual psychology, as a, transformation tool, in your coaching sessions?

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Heart centered listening is one of the principles of spiritual psychology

Donna: Well, there are 33 principles and practices of, spiritual psychology. And so, I use each of these principles and practices to support the client in doing their life from a different place. And you know, two of our foundational skills the University of Santa Monica has entitled the skill, heart centered listening, and I call it, heart centered listening.  The original name for seeing the loving essence I have renamed to big acknowledgement. A big acknowledgement is the recognition that you and I are, spiritual beings, on this epic human adventure. And when I recognize you also as a, spiritual being, having this public human adventure, then there's something about that that makes us the same.

And when we begin to recognize that for every single person on the planet, then we can really recognize that we really are all one and we're all in this together. We're all facing the same challenges and the same trials and the same opportunities. You know, we all are in club human together, having this human experience.

Heart centered listening, is really about it's about what you do all day in your in your job Myrna with these podcasts that you do and like deeply listening to another person giving them the space to share from a center heart opened place where they are free to explore their own consciousness.  And download from the infinite universe kind of trickle into the conversation. And when we invite that, infinite intelligence, into the conversation, who knows what's going to happen? That is why we call it, spiritual psychology.

Myrna: I love it. Yes, yes. You're talking my language girl. Yeah, I you know, we are all love. I love Deepak Chopra. And you know, Deepak Chopra always says that we are all, spiritual beings, having a, human experience, manifesting through a, central nervous system. So, each one of us is manifesting, through our individual, human nervous system. But eventually we're all we're all connected.

One of the one of the things that he says, and I was even meditating on this morning, is that we're all like a wave in the ocean. We're all part of the ocean and each one of us is a wave. And so, what you are saying is beautiful. And you are correct when you recognize that we're all one, and we're all spirit and we're all connected, that changes your perception on your struggles. Is that what you are calling, spiritual psychology?

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Spiritual psychology is the gateway to acceptance of our humaneness

Donna: Well, yes, it's one way that you can go with it. And, you know, the longer I'm on this spiritual path, the more I realized it's really about loving my humaneness. And I think a big gateway to, transformation, and how I work with my clients is really inviting them into a deeper level of reverence for their, human experience, a deeper level of acceptance for the human.  A deeper level of acceptance for ourselves, you know, for how we fall short of our own aspirations in life, and how we relate to ourselves, when we're going through something difficult.

That's really where we have an opportunity to have a different experience in our life. I love what you were sharing about Deepak Chopra. And one of the things that the way that I like to say it is we are all unique, individualized expressions of, the Divine. And no two of us are the same, right? Every single one of us is this gorgeous depiction of, the Divine. And how magnificent is that? And it's quite a miracle.

And it's quite miraculous, but we overlook it on a regular basis. And so, I helped people slow down and tune in so that they can begin to recognize their power, the real power, the power that comes from inside of us, not the power that we think that we get from our job or for money or from a status position or anything like that. Helping people to recognize that they have this inherent power within them. And that power is a source of our aliveness. That is that power is the source of our expression out in the world as a drop in, the Divine.

Myrna: Very true. It's actually very powerful. Very powerful, because, you know, one of the reasons that I concentrate so heavily on the, mind, is because that's where it starts. It's how you think is your thoughts is your thought process. And, yeah, once you recognize that, that you're limitless, that you're powerful, that you actually shape your destiny and that is all part of, spiritual psychology.

It doesn't just happen, you're shaping it by your thoughts and if you feel empowered, or if you feel a victim, you know, that's basically my story as well. Yeah, you got to realize, you have power and instead of being stuck, you have the power to change your life, if it's going in one direction, just like you did. You figure that yeah; I am just on a treadmill. And what did you do? You did something about it, right? You didn't stay there and wait until you're 65 and then say, you know, my life has been terrible.

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Reclaiming our authentic power

Now, one of the other things that we were talking about is how can we use consciousness to reclaim our, authentic power.

Donna: We have to become present, be in the, present moment, Myrna? We're all so caught up in the future with the two dues right? We got to go here. We got to do this. We got to do that. And our mind, you know, our attention and our energy go into the future. Or we're stuck in the past, right? We're obsessing about I should have said this, or I should have done that. And we're caught up in yesterday and what really is over that we can't even change. But when we can be here in this, present moment, right now, and place our energy and our intention on person, the situation whatever is right in front of us. Then we are tapping into our, consciousness, in the highest way that we can at the time.

Myrna: Right. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yes, because yes, consciousness, is definitely being present and nothing happens outside of the, present moment. A lot of people are always in the past or the future. But change only happens in the, present moment. So, that's pretty good. All right. Now one of the things that you do in your in your work, is you talk about the, power of the I AM. So, talk to us about how you help your clients to using, I AM, to pivot for to help with their, transformation.

Donna: Thank you so much for asking this question. I see this as one of the most powerful tools that we all have in our toolbox. And it's the two little, teeny tiny words, I AM, because when we say those words, we are making a declaration. We are making a proclamation to the universe. And so, I invite your listeners to just pay attention. What comes attached to these two little words in your life? Are you walking around saying, I am, tired? I am, exhausted. I am, sick. I AM, whatever. Because the back story that we're telling, then those are the results that we are creating.

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Using I AM in transformation

And so, I see this as literally like using a magic wand. We are instantaneously reaffirming what we do want to experience, what we do want to occur. So, we can put our attention, our focus on that immediately and begin to say things like,

  • I AM, doing the best that I can in the moment.
  • I am, moving towards radiant health and wellbeing.
  • I am, vitality.
  • I am perfect, just the way God made me.
  • I am, accepting all of myself, no matter what society says about you.

So, it's really a powerful way to change our current reality. And I talk extensively about this. I have a whole chapter called, I AM, or it's called the responsibility of, I am, in my book “Original Wisdom: Harnessing the Power of the Authentic You.”

My book really talks about my journey and how I left the corporate arena, and Myrna it wasn't a straight path. I gotta tell you, it wasn't hiding guidance. I didn’t wake up one morning and said, I'm going to be a coach. It didn't happen like that. And as a matter of fact, if you could have told me that I was going to be in these sacred, intimate, loving, connected one on one conversations with people I would have said oh, hell no, that's never gonna happen. Because the time that my journey began, the, mindset, that I had, was completely different than the, mindset, that I have now.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Mindset and personal development

Myrna: I know, we're in the, personal improvement, and, personal development, space, and we grow along with people that we teach. I am listening and learning something every single day so we're growing in that space. And for me, because I get to speak to excellent guests like yourself, I'm learning, It’s like a school for me. I'm learning from all my guests. And yeah, your, mindset, keeps shifting.

But I want to touch back on that, I am, statement because one of the things that I love saying is, I am the universe, and that's basically what you were talking about. Earlier, when you said that we are, spiritual beings, right. And we're part of the Infinite is the fact that, I'm the universe, right? The universe is inside of me.  So now you coach, and you have your master's degree. So why did you write the book and what is it that you want the readers to walk away with, after they put it down?

Donna: The truth is, I was really creating a workshop. I was putting together teaching points. And as I was going through these teaching points, I thought to myself, oh, I have a story for that. You know, I really want to illustrate that in a more visual way, in a way that people can remember or walk away with. And so, as I started compiling all of my stories, I kind of took a step back and I was like, that's my story. It's like my whole story. And after a little bit of rearranging, I unfolded, really this path and I don't tell the story in a chronological way, because of the way in which, I AM, pulled each of the concepts.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
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Original Wisdom: Harness the power of the authentic you

I deliver a dovetail experience to it so that each of them builds on their previous one. And really, what I want people to walk away with is a sense of that, authentic empowerment, a sense that they are so much more, we are so much more than what we have been taught. And original wisdom is an inherent intelligence in all beings, that is rooted in unconditional love.

And when I think about, our spirit or soul, the energy of that is unconditional love. So, the intention of my book is to help people remember what their needs are. They are made of love. And we just have stuff that stands in the way of that. And that's really what I help my clients do is remove those blocks, so that they can remember the truth of who they are.

Myrna: I love it. Where can we get a copy of your book and tell us about your website and tell us you know, you're a coach and you do offer personal transformation coaching. So, tell us tell our listeners how they can get in touch with you.

Donna: All of the information can be found on www.Donnabond.com. And my book, of course, is on Amazon and all of the major book retailers out there “Original Wisdom: Harness the Power of the Authentic You.” And periodically I have a masterclass that I offer called empower the authentic you where I teach live, the concepts that I offer in original wisdom.

Additional Resources

How to Replace Bad Habits With Success Habits

How to Release the Issues Held in Your Tissues

Christopher Lee Haher Issues in your tissues

You have to heal in order to, transform, you have to, transform, in order to heal. You could address, tissue health, through some form of deep massage.  But if you address structural health first, without first addressing, tissue, the unhealthy tissue pulls the structure back out of play. Your, tissues, would be your, fascia, your muscles, your ligaments, your tendons, your bone.  When those, tissues, are unhealthy, when you push into them, guess what you find? You find pain.

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Stress and tissue health

Myrna: How did your mindset play into your transformation?

Christopher: Yeah, well for me my mind that has always been one of, transformation. So that was already in place, right. What I needed to learn is that stored, stress, meaning, unresolved stress, transforms into physical tension and that physical tension when it reaches a certain level, it creates what's called, emotional distortion. Mental stress, transforms into physical tension, that tension can get so high that it generates, emotional distortion.

And so, in order to transform you have to walk back through the door as you came in. And so, what I discovered is that 99.99999% of all human beings store their maximal saturation of, stress, tension and distortion, is about 86.4% average. Okay, so that means if I lined every human up on the planet right now, and I could work on them, we would find that they only have 15% of their mental, emotional, spiritual and physical capacity that isn't severely stressed.

It's funny because if you look into data, surrounded around intelligence, what do they tell you? They tell you that the average human is operating at about 10% Right? And the ones who are operating really high, functioning really high. They're getting about 12%. Right? So, the math is the same. Well, let's do the inverse of that.

What if we could reduce your lifetime accumulated, stress load, by 50%? What would that do to your intelligence? What would that do to your, physical intelligence? What would that do to your, emotional intelligence? What would that do to your, spiritual intelligence? What would that do to your, analytical intelligence? The truth is it would raise it dramatically. Okay, so not only was I discovering that along the way as I was moving attention to, stress, and the distortion and the, toxicity, from my body, I was having powerful mental insights and awareness every single day.

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Transforming unhealthy tissue to healthy tissue

Myrna: Okay, so tell us about that. What was how did you fall into that number one, I know that you were working on your master's and doctorate degrees in traditional Chinese medicine. For instance, you talk about your compound, complex stressors, and they started from the time you were a baby, a couple of days old, guide us through how this, transformation, of our stressors can help us to operate in a higher emotional capacity.

Christopher: As you remove tension from the body, and I'm talking about something very different than yoga for traditional stretching. What I'm talking about is changing, bone rotational relationships. And what that means is that you have different forms of health. So, you have, tissue health, so your tissue would be your, fascia, your muscles, your ligaments, your tendons, your bone, so to be in your structural tissue, when those, tissues, are unhealthy, when you push into them, guess what you find? You find pain. Okay, all right. You find discomfort.

If I lay on a table now, and we started running my elbow across all those little muscles across your back, we might find discomfort and pain. If we did that across the back of your legs and neck, shoulder, your jaw, wherever you have pain and discomfort there's a blockage of the natural flow of energy. Okay. So, in order to access the greatest amount of intelligence going inside of you, what would you have to do? You would have to remove the roadblocks and so the first step is you have to address, tissue health.

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Fix tissue health before structural health

Because if you address, structural health, first, without first addressing, tissue, the, unhealthy tissue, pulls the structure back out of play. Right. And so, there's a system out there that I've been developing called best of science, bioenergetic self-transformation sequence. For me, the most important part of the process is because it breaks the codependent dependent relationship between practitioners and patients.

Let's say I have a headache that I have to go to my acupuncturist, or I have to go to Walgreens to pick up some medicine then what's gonna happen?  I'm reliant on something outside of me in order to resolve something inside. But what if there was a way to actually learn how to move your body, how to resolve tension and, stress, get your, tissues healthy, so that you can resolve it from the inside out and not need someone from the outside.

That would put you in a very powerful position, because it means you could then determine how much time energy and effort you wanted to put into your body, brain and nervous system to produce the results. That you wanted to make yourself feel better every single day.

Myrna: That is awesome, I have an episode called “We hold issues in our tissues.”

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
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The issues are in your tissues

Christopher: I'm the one who coined that phrase, “The issues are in your tissues.”

So, the, issues are in your tissues. I'm glad that's passed along. I coined that phrase 22 years ago. I'm happy to hear that it's gone around the world and come back to me. So, tissue health, right? Whenever your body's toxic, your, tissues, get unhealthy. Why? Because where does the, toxicity, sit? It's in your, tissues. And so, you want to remove that out of the, tissues, and the way to do that is through a simple system that I've been developing called machine, M A, Space X.

So, somebody's walking up and down your body and you're getting the feel or the discomfort that in those parts, that as a person starts to actually breathe relative to the true level of sensation that they're feeling. You know what happens? The body lets go of all of the, toxicity. Yes, I've had people their discomfort levels were like 13 out of 10. I get their breath up to a third team. And then literally 10 seconds later, they're lying there in complete comfort. Then I don't see them for a couple years. They come back and see me I get back on their body and guess what? They're still no discomfort. Right. So, this is what I mean by true, transformation.

I don't want to have to go see my chiropractor every Thursday, or every other Wednesday for 10 years. I want an immediate, instantaneous solution. Because if people are coming in and they're investing money, they need solutions.

Myrna: I know what you are talking about, my sister had a car accident and hurt her neck and she's been going to the chiropractor for 10 years!

I know that we're energetic beings. And when you talk about, your issues are in your tissues, I understand.  But I also work with the chakra systems, and I know that the energy gets blocked.  How are you, releasing the issues in your tissues?  Are we using the mind to clear the energy or how are we doing this?

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You have to transform to heal tissues

Christopher: Well, there's several ways to do it. Okay, so we can always love when someone wants to transform. Transformation, begins with where you where you started, which is mentally, right, you have to set a clear intent. Because once you set clear intent, the universe lines up behind you to bring you the people, the resources, the dynamic situation that you need, in order to go on the transformational healing process, okay. And it's impossible to, transform, if you don't eat. Those things are inextricably connected at the root.

You have to heal in order to transform, you have to transform, in order to heal. So, you could go through addressing the, tissues, and , tissue health, through some form of deep massage. I don't mean going to the therapist and having somebody rub oil on and then paying them $200 bucks an hour. I live in Marina Del Rey, I promise you right now, I could find a $300 massage where they're gonna rub oil on me and play nice music in the background and three days later, I'm going to wake up with the same level of discomfort in my body. That is a terrible investment. Right? That would be like me going out and spending $300 on Bitcoin right now. Right?

Well, I'm talking about is spending $300 going into your body into the depth of where this stuff begins breathing, right breathing, matching your breath to the true level of sensation. If your, tissue, sensation is a seven out of 10 which that's quite an uncomfortable, okay. 10 is the maximum that's as uncomfortable as could possibly get and your breath is at a three.

You're gonna hold on to that discomfort. But if your breath is at a seven your, tissue sensation, is at a seven guess what happens when those two things match when your emotional body your breath and your physical body. The physical sensations match, guess what's going to happen?

Your pain disappears. It drops out. Guess what your body's always asking for, it's asking to be met emotionally. And when it's met emotionally, the brain goes okay, let it go. We got exactly what we needed.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Holding issues in your tissues

Yes, going back to the, issues in our tissues. Whatever issues that I had in store there and people have them everywhere, you know, whether it's so I get that you go down the rabbit hole you identify the source. And then you know it let's say there might be two hours and I'm listening and I'm investigating. And then I need to see those their story match up with their body, right? And then I go in and I start in on the, issues in the tissues, and 100% of the time, the story that they gave is exactly what's going on inside of their body. And what I mean by the story that they gave me about the environment that they were raised.

So, let's say I have a father who is dutiful, okay, super disciplined, hardworking, and you grow up in an environment like that and you're more of an artistic emotional child. Right? That's gonna leave a specific kind of imprint in you. And you're gonna build very specific kinds of strategies in order to avoid punishment, rejection, humiliation, violence, discomfort and pain from that parent. Right?

And so, what's the first step we have to do? We have to locate how that parent impacted you. Then we need to figure out how did your mom impact you? And every time their story about their mom and their story about their dad matches up with exactly what's going on in their body. It's happened every single time. And so now you're matching the story in the investigation with the body. And guess what we go in and start removing that tension and that, stress, and their relationship with their parents. Changes in one day.

They understand them, then they forgive them, they give them a space to be themselves. The most important thing is they're never ever triggered by their parent again.

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How to resolve complex stressors on a subconscious level

Myrna: You had all these, complex stressors. How did you resolve that?

Christopher: I resolved that with the steps that I'm explaining, but the impact was it changed the way in which I relate energetically and emotionally with women of authority. Okay, so you know a lot of my female teachers in high school says that I was kind and smart and charming, but I wouldn't be willing to talk back.  I never had any challenges with my male authoritative figures when I was going to boarding school, my female teachers would trigger me in a way at a deep subconscious level. When I say conscious, unconscious, subconscious, super conscious, I mean, either the mental and emotional, physical or spiritual level.

All right, so think about the, unconscious, or let's start with the smallest the, conscious mind, as one grain of sand. Okay, everyone out there trying to manage their entire life with this tiny grain of sand, where your, unconscious, is more like a 55-gallon drum of sand. But your, subconscious, is all the sand on planet Earth. And your, super conscious, is all the sand in the universe. Right? And most humans are trying to manage everything in our life with that tiny grain of sand, trying to understand all of reality. The, conscious mind, doesn't have the ability to do that. And the reason why I'm giving this as a precursor is for people to understand.

When I say, subconscious, or, unconscious, the form of intelligence, and the vastness of that form of intelligence. Okay, so at the subconscious level, we're talking about all the all the intelligence on planet Earth, okay? So, most humans are using their body like it's a skateboard, one grain of sand. When you have massive amounts of tension and, stress, in it, remember, the average human being is that about 86.4%, stress.

So we go through the process, regardless of what your situation is, when you had a very complex, dynamic, stressors, that were coming in. For you had something a little less depending on your level of sensitivity, it still puts you at 86.4% because when you're in your mother's womb, your mother and father seed and age are mixing together and all of the, epigenetics, all of the unresolved unconscious, survival-based strategies are being baked into your nervous system.

Book Free for Life
Book Free for Life

Book Free for Life

That’s the purpose of my work and my book “Free for life” or body intelligence is to get every human factor neutrality, because when you're in neutrality, you add nothing in you take nothing away, you simply see things for what they are free of judgment, criticism, disapproval or overly moralizing position.

Now 50 years ago, okay, that wasn't possible. The only things humans had was the ability to manage their life with their mind. And the more intelligent you were, the easier it was for you to manage the complex stresses that you're in. So, at some point, the, complex stressors, in human evolution outweigh what the mind can manage and then they started leaning on caffeine. They started leaning on recreational drugs.

They started leaning on alcohol, they started leaning on refined sugar. They started leaning on now the worst thing in the world, pharmaceutical drugs. They're leaning on them simply to attempt to manage their lifetime accumulated, stress load. That's a combination of the experiences they've had in this life, and all of the experiences that their ancestors had before they were born, that are all based on survival, which means they're based in fight or flight dynamics.

Myrna: Well, that's basically what's happening in the African American community. I found that the generational stuff is coming through, from slavery.  And you also told me that your father was from Africa. So, you've got some, stressors, there too. I definitely agree that the only thing I would add to what you just talked about the, subconscious, and the, superconscious, is that most people, let's say 95% don't understand that the, subconscious, is what's, what's guiding them.

Conclusion

Connect with Christopher on the web www.truebodyintelligence.com.  If you would like to work with Christopher, send him an email at support@truebodyintelligence.com

Additional Resources 

What is the Connection between Sexual Abuse and Addiction?

child sexual abuse
Child Abuse, and, sexual abuse,  Statistics, show a connection between, child abuse, Mental Health, addiction, and depression.
In her book “Call me an addict, war on Women” By Dr Tra Ahia. shares Kreta's story of, child abuse, and sexual abuse, that started with her biological mother. I think this is very rare. Kreta said her mother was a sick person. Her, child abuse, was by her mother. Her mother used to make her kids do sexual acts on her boyfriend and her. Her mother and boyfriend also had sex in front of her and her brothers and sisters. This, abuse, started when she was about 4 years old.
Listen to the full interview here:

Kreta's story of, sexual abuse

Kreta was raped by an older boy around the age of 7.

Kreta's, child abuse, started when she was only 8 or 9 years old when she started smoking weed, crack and sniffing blow. As she got older when she didn't have money, she would perform sexual acts for coke.

Even though she was a good student in school she started ditching school to sleep with older men and eventually dropped out of school.

She started working for a pimp who continued her, sexual abuse, he beat her all the time and had other men rape her and pie on her. After a string of, sexually abusive, relationships She got pregnant several times while still doing drugs. She had two abortions; but decided to keep her third pregnancy – a baby girl.

She went in and out of rehab several times trying to stay clean but always relapsed.

Kreta's story ended the saddest of all 3 stories from the book “Call me an Addict, war Her, strange addiction, was out of control. She got so high one night that she stabbed her baby to death. She got life in prison.

Child Abuse Statistics

  • Risk for intimate partner violence
  • Alcoholism and alcohol abuse
  • Illicit drug abuse
  • Smoking & drinking at an early age
  • Depression
  • Suicide attempts

I want to say that Kreta's mother surprised me; but I have heard, sexual abuse, stories like this one before. I had a coaching client who told me that her mother stopped having sex with her husband and when she was 4 years old gave her to her husband to have sex with. Tyler Perry tried to bring attention to this, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, in his movie Madea Family Reunion .

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iHeart Radio

Here are 5 Statistics about sexual abuse offenders

  1. Ages 12 to 14 are the peak ages for child offenders.
  2. 70 percent of perpetrators have between 1 and 9 victims.
  3. Child abuse, statistics, show as many as 40 percent of children who are, sexually abused, are abused by older or more powerful children.
  4. Sex offenses are the crimes least likely to involve strangers as perpetrators. Although a smaller percentage of, sex offenders, are women, the majority are male. Sex offenders, are generally NOT “dirty old men” or strangers lurking in alleys. They are typically not obviously mentally ill or retarded. In fact, sex offenders, are usually well known and trusted by the children they victimize, and frequently are members of the family, including fathers and stepfathers, brothers, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and cousins. There is no clear-cut description or profile of a, sex offender. Thus, there is no way to recognize a potential, sex offender, and abuser; and it's often hard to believe that a trusted individual would be capable of abusing children.
  5. Children who disclose their abuse within one month are at a reduced risk for, depression, or substance abuse and, addiction. Believe your kids when they talk to you and LISTEN. 
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Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

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Why, Addiction and Depression are by products of Child Abuse

Although any type of, addiction, can trigger violence, those most likely to impair judgment, like drug and alcohol, addiction, are most often linked to addiction-related violence. Drug and alcohol use can weaken self-control, it’s not uncommon to see people who are under the influence engaging in behavior they usually wouldn’t if they were sober.

People living with, strange addictions, who commit violent crimes, is usually as a result of intoxication or as a means of obtaining money to finance their habits. According to an article published in Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, more than 75 percent of people who seek treatment for, drug addiction, report having performed acts of violence, including mugging, physical assault and using a weapon to attack another person.

People who suppress negative feelings like anger or, depression, are more likely to drink or use, drugs, to the point of intoxication and exhibit violent behaviors. If you have Pent-up rage and you are using drugs, you are more likely to act violently because loss of self-control can increase your chances to act on your anger.

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help sexual abuse survivors

Dr Tra Ahia How does CBT help , sexual abuse survivors, to love themselves? What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

Evidence is growing that, cognitive-behavioral therapy, (CBT) is an effective treatment for, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, including those who have experienced physical, child abuse, and other traumatic events.

Most of the studies that have evaluated Trauma focused-CBT have been well designed. This treatment model represents a synthesis of trauma-sensitive interventions and well-established CBT principles treatment-outcome studies for, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, and otherwise traumatized children. The therapy was developed to resolve, post-traumatic stress disorder, and, depression, and anxiety symptoms, as well as to address underlying distortions about self-blame, safety, the trustworthiness of others, and the world. The treatment also fits, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, and other traumatic experiences into a broader context of children's lives so that their primary identity is not that of a victim.

Child abuse, statistics, show that CBT therapy allows, sexual abuse, victims to learn self-love.

 

Drug and Alcohol Treatments for Women with Trauma

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TuneIn Radio

Arifah What does, Child abuse, statistics, show about self love?

It shows that if, child abuse, and sexual abuse, victims do the following, They begin to heal.

  • Take your time
  • Recognize that your needs matter
  • Forgive yourself and knowledge of self through therapy
  • Find a support group
  • Learn to practice self-compassion, to rid yourself of shame-based beliefs, such as you are worthless, defective, bad, or unlovable
  • Find time for self care activities (journaling, exercise, mediation, art, hanging out with people that care about you).
  • Gain new experiences (i.e. get involved in the community)
Call me an Addict
Call me an Addict

 

Dr Tra I am curious after listening to 100 stories like the ones you told in your book and from all the data you have collected over your 30 years in this space.  Why do you think fathers and stepfathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, and cousins, abuse, little girls?

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I want to comment on one of the, child abuse,  statistics,   the one that says 70% of perpetrators have between 1 to 9 victims.  I remember my,  sexual abuse, It was from a man  who I called grandfather, even though he was no relation.  He used to tell me to bring my friends, and he would do the same thing to them as he did me. In fact he had a reputation of liking little girls.  I never told anyone!

That’s another thing, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, statistics, show, victims never tell.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Here are 5 tips for loving yourself after, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, 

  1. Read Positive affirmations
  2. Heal the mind through the body (ie. Boxing, Running, Martial Arts)
  3. Mindful breathing exercises and meditation (stop, breathe and think app)
  4. Channel your pain into creativity ( i.e.journaling)
  5. Ask for help when you need it

 Conclusion, Child Abuse, and, Sexual Abuse 

Dr Tra, Do you support the, child abuse statistic, that says that if kids who are experiencing trauma of any kind tells someone who offers support, it has a direct and positive effect on the, sexual abuse and addiction connection?

Totally, when you tell someone what is being done to you, you release the shame of thinking you are to blame. You will also get help to cope with the emotions.  When you stay silent it eats away at you all your life and then you self-medicate with, drugs, and alcohol and your, sexual abuse, continues into your adult relationships.

Additional Resources on Child Abuse and Sexual Abuse

Drug and Alcohol Treatments for Women with Trauma

http://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/

http://blog.myhelps.us/10-ways-childhood-trauma-impact-adults-in-love/

https://www.masterproblems.com/2017/02/what-can-be-done-about-child-abuse.html

When Your Child Can’t Speak

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/subabuse_childmal.pdf

 

 

How to Use the Law of Action for Success in Life

On Today's episode “5 Minutes with Coach Myrna”, I teach How to Use the Universal, Law of Action, to achieve Success in Life

In the first episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I shared the First Universal Law “The Law of Divine Oneness” If you missed that episode please download. I am teaching on the 12 Universal Laws because they are the blue print for a life by design. They are the rules of the game.

Life is the only job that we don’t get a manual for and most of us leave this body as clueless as when we were born.

Today I want to teach on the:

The second Universal Law the, Law of Action,

Successful people are future oriented so if you are not taking action towards a vision or goal, you will remain stagnant.

Movement creates energy.

Newton First Law states – A body in motion stays in motion. If you, take action, towards your goals you will attain them. If you take, MASSIVE action, towards your goals you will attain them much much faster.

1. Because we are spiritual beings having a human experience, your higher self, which is your source, GOD, gives you guidance in the form of thought or dreams. When you act on that guidance it opens the communication for more guidance. Acting on the guidance you get from your higher self will propel you in the direction of your purpose. One way to gauge if you are moving in the direction of your purpose is your emotions. If you feel excited and happy to do the action then you are aligned. If you don't feel good then it is not aligned to your goals or purpose and it is not from your spiritual guide. It is said that we have five voices in our head. You have to be able figure out who is speaking to you when you get direction.

If you don't know what action to take.
Ask yourself, What does successful people do?
Ask yourself again, What do I have to become to do something I have not done before? Taking action usually means stretching yourself to do something you have not done before. The, Law of Action, means taking action in the direction of your goals.

Playing to your strengths will not stretch you.

You have to go beyond your comfort zone and stretch yourself like a rubber band!

Would you like to know what a Life Coach does? A Life Coach prepares you your main goal in life by getting you to your purpose and then holding you accountable to make it happen.

Strengths can be categorized in two columns. The first column are the ones you are born with and the other, the ones you cultivated.

For example Warren Buffet tells the story that he was deathly afraid of public speaking, but he was born with the ability to do math. At a very young age he had the ability to take apart financial statements and understand the true value of a company; but he had zero ability as a speaker. So that was the strength he cultivated. He took action, he joined Toastmasters. The, Law of Action, at work.

Tony Robbins teaches that not only should take action; but you should take, MASSIVE action.

Most coaches will tell their clients, if you have a goal take some action towards that goal. If you want a Mercedes Benz then order a brochure or go test drive it. If you want to enroll in higher education, then go visit the campus and get information; but, MASSIVE action, is totally different. MASSIVE action, is quitting your job and starting your own business. MASSIVE action is Ed Sheeran getting on a plane and coming to America looking for a record deal, with no money in his pocket and sleeping on the subway until he found work! The, Law of Action, worked again, Ed became the biggest male pop-star on the planet!

Conclusion, take action, take, massive action, let the, Law of Action, propel you towards your goals.

Contact me for a FREE Downloadable copy my new e-book “How to Shift Your Mindset to Achieve Your Goals”

Thank you for tuning into 5 mins with coach Myrna, the, Law of Action, In our next episode we will look at the third law of the Universe “The Law of Correspondence”

Please remember to share this episode with your friends and subscribe and post a review.
Until next time Namaste

Other Resources:
http://blog.myhelps.us/program-positive-change/
http://blog.myhelps.us/myrna-young-life-coach/
https://www.infinitesoulblueprint.com/law-of-action/

How to Have It All

You can, have it all. Is it possible to have a passionate marriage, a thriving career, a healthy beautiful body, more money that you ever dreamed of, and enough downtime to enjoy it without running yourself ragged.

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-Transform-your-Mind-29542107/

TuneIn Radio

Bio

Christy Whitman. is a Transformational Leader, Celebrity Coach and the New York Times Bestselling Author of “The Art of, Having It All” she has appeared on The Today Show and the Morning Show and her work has been featured in, People's Magazine, Seventeen, Women's Day, Hollywood Life, and Teen Vogue, among others Christy is also the CEO and founder of the, Quantum Success Learning Academy and Quantum Success Coaching Academy, a 12-month Law of Attraction program.

Christy has helped thousands of people worldwide to achieve their goals through her empowerment seminars, speeches and coaching sessions and products. Christy's life changing message reaches over 200,000 people per month and her work has been promoted by and featured with esteemed authors and luminaries such as Marianne Williamson, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Marci Shimoff, Brian Tracy, Neale Donald Walsch, Abraham-Hicks, and Louise Hay. She currently lives in Arizona with her husband, Frederic, and their two boys, Alexander and Maxim. You can meet her on the web at www.QuantumSuccessBook.com,

I read your bio and I'm thinking wow this woman is where I want to be. So we're going to start out by just asking you a kind of a background question you've accomplished quite a lot. Can you tell us your journey to this point in your career in life.

Searching for purpose

Well, I basically did everything that my parents told me, you know, Go get a degree, get a good job, put money in the Bank, have a nice fit body, find a guy! I had all that, and still I was just really really empty. I wasn't really happy. I was missing an essential part of myself. So I started going on a search for meaning.

I had this you know like when you're really thirsty for water that's how I felt spiritually. I felt like I just didn't know that there's wasn’t any real purpose or meaning in what I was doing. It seemed like the more money I made, it didn’t make me any happier. I went on this quest and really learned about meditation and learned about how our thoughts create our reality and learned about energy and how we are either attracting things to us or repelling things from us.

All these different philosophies started changing me, and I started changing my thoughts one by one and started shifting my energy and things literally just started shifting before my eyes. When I was searching at one point I was thirty pounds overweight, $60,000 in debt, I had just broken up with the latest bad guy, and I moved to California and I didn’t know anybody.

I Had quit my job also so I I had nothing going on in my life, when I found this information and it was amazing because within just a very few short weeks I got a great job, I was transferred to a different part of California, I found a really wonderful man, and I was in an eight-year relationship with, my body naturally went back to normal size.

Using the Law of attraction to have it all

Things were just flowing and easy, and what I was learning about was the universal laws that I now teach. I’ve shared my experiences of how I’ve created a great career, maintained my weight, and attracted an ideal partner. I've been coaching on, Law of Attraction, and, Universal Laws. Besides the, Law of Attraction, I just share my experiences and I share what I do, and what I learned and what I know not to do, and I just created an amazing business.

I'm serving people, and seeing people transform, and I feel passionate about it. Each and every day, back when I when I was in that space, I was making money, I was a pharmaceutical rep, but I didn't feel like I was on purpose. I didn't feel like what I was doing really had much meaning and so I started to really connect with the feeling of what would it feel like that if I did something and I was on purpose?

I didn't know what purpose looked like, but I started just allowing myself to feel that the essence of the purpose, of what it would just feel like. Even if I didn't know the how or the form or anything and then what happened with amazing. I had a book downloaded through me and that became my first book “Perfect Pictures.” I got it published and my family and friends all bought the book and it wasn't like they were the ones to read self-help books.

I started speaking at Spiritual Book Stores and Churches and while I was doing that, doing workshops on my book, I would take people through meditations and they started asking me to coach them. I had no idea back then, and we were talking you know 16 years ago, 17 years ago. I had no idea what Life Coaching was and most people didn't. I decided to just have people call me on the phone and started really appreciating their transformation. I'm grateful that my stuff it's universal and it helps every single person, no matter what circumstance or situation there going through. We can change all of it by knowing and applying these laws.

Tips for having it all

That's an awesome story I Absolutely love it. Dr Wayne Dyer says that that's how he's written all this books. He wakes up at 3.15 am in the morning and it's just downloaded. I just completed a series with the author of the Millennial’s Playbook to Adulting, Millennials do just that.

Whether it's their parents or a guidance counselor or somebody they find a job, they find the guy, and then they get married or something but it doesn't light them up it doesn't light them up because they’re going about it based on the jobs that's available or income or something along those lines.  It's a great thing to teach because whenever you are on purpose and whenever something lights you up and whenever you follow the, Laws of the Universe, which most people don't know what they are, you find happiness.

Most people don't understand the, Laws of Attraction, and how thoughts work. That's the only way that you can design your life. I'm glad that we're going to be diving into that subject in our next episode; but today we want to talk about your book “The Art of, Having it All,” I'm jumping ahead of myself. Before we get in to that. I want to bring attention to the word you used to introduce your coaching program “Quantum Success.

I love the word that you use to introduce your coaching program. I follow Deepak Chopra. He was my first mentor and when I wrote my first book which was called “Becoming Conscious, my Awakening” I talked about the Quantum and synchro destiny; but you're calling it, Quantum Success; so my follow-up question is “what do you feel is the blueprint to your coaching program and what is your definition of quantum success and, having it all, ?”

Using Quantum energy to have it all

I want to say I'm not a superwoman, I'm just an ordinary woman that has learned about universal laws and, having it all. Every single person listening have the power to create your life the way you want it. Quantum success, for me it was really about, I lived the first part of my life not, having it all, so far pushing, striving, setting goals, it was really when I found the knowledge, and the information on energy and that I understood, the energy that you hold while you're moving towards something is even more important than the inert action of the goal.

We're both physical and non-physical beings. If you're not doing that from a place of alignment then any momentum that you take is a waste of energy, it's a waste of time. You know a lot of times people are moving they're doing stuff and they're taking tons of action and it's eventually going to give them the success that they want; but they're going to hit a wall because if their thought process is different or their emotions on how they feel about themselves or even the way they think about themselves, the way they reflect on themselves, the way they judge and solve problems.

All of that stuff holds us back from really being able to allow the alignment and the flow of the, Quantum field, or what some call God, what some call Goddess. That consciousness that create whatever you want. When you start to bring in deliberately, having it all, the kind of energy that you want to experience, whether its success, or love, or abundance, or prosperity, or security.

Success is having it all

As long as you're doing it consistently, because everything is vibration. So when you do the action and take the action towards what you want to manifest and align your thoughts your emotions your perspective with succeeding, in that space of success. You imagine what would success look like? What does, having it all, look like? What would successful feel like?

If you had the career that you really wanted, that was firing on all cylinders what would that look like for you? I wrote in my last book “The Art of, Having It All,” It’s really about what does having it all look like to you. Is, Having it All, someone else’s definition? It's what lights you up that moves you forward. It's a life force that’s pulsating through you, that wants to become something more. It's up to us as, that non-physical part of that energy.

Cooperate with it instead of trying to cut it off and that's what most people do. Complaining and judging other people or they play like a victim. All those things are literally slicing up and siphoning off your life force energy, and it won't move you towards the desires that you want. We need to ask ourselves. How do I want to feel?

Then start to as much as you can, as often as you can, get in that feeling place. I mean the good thing is about the, Quantum field,  is that this is a holographic universe and so any emotion that has ever been felt can be easily felt by you. Circumstances and situations don't have to happen. We have the capacity as human beings to visualize and to feel our way into things, and to change a thought and you know these are all things that we can do because the thoughts that we have are not real, so we have to direct our thoughts towards what we want and why we want it, to, having it all, and how we want to feel.

Your vortex holds your un-manifested desires

That is awesome, we are so in sync on the things. My next question we're going to be talking a little bit about Abraham Hicks; she talks about the, vortex, when I do my meditation that's what I say. Everything in my vortex will be eventually be available to me, if not immediately but eventually. It’s all about vibration. I was listening to podcast last week and the guest was saying we have Three superpowers, and one of the superpowers was imagination. He reminded me that anything we can imagine, we can create. Whether you're imagining what you want or what you're imagining what you don't want it's real and it's going to manifest.

A lot of people think our, vortex, is outside of ourselves; but the, vortex, is within us. The, vortex, is inside us, so it's not something we have to wait for. It's like we just have to get into alignment with it because it's already there. It's the Creator that pulses pulsates through us. I'm going to get into a discussion of energy for a second. Most people think I'm going to manifest something or, Law of Attraction; but thoughts always create some kind of emotional reaction.

It's really the emotions, so we're viewing something we see something like a tree we look at the tree and we just kind of have the stimulus, we perceive it without eyes and we enjoy it. So energy is flowing in and it's flowing out, it's just kind of like a stimulus we see the ocean it comes in and it comes out. Well when someone says something rude to us or says something hurtful, or maybe you get in car accident, or you lose a loved one, or your bill comes and you can't pay it or whatever it is.

Those moments in life cause us to constrict our energy and we create blocks around it. Those blocks also create a vortex of energy because energy has to continue to move, it goes out, or it goes up, because that is constantly moving, it's never ending. So if energy come through and instead of feeling an emotion, like how that person hurt us or that person was rude or that person made us angry, we constrict the energy.

That creates a block and then that creates a vortex, that vortex is active, it's alive. That's the, vortex, that creates a thought and then the thoughts create a belief. It then creates some kind of physical manifestation of it and then we go, see it's true. You say No matter what I do, I can't seem to get ahead. Men are always cheating on me. We have to be careful and aware of where we're getting energetically charged and start to release those blocks, so that we can get back in that free flow again of feeling the love and the alignment.

The Art of having it all

I do the work, I want to be, having it all, I don't only coach; but I do a lot of mind work because I'm aware at that everything starts in the mind, which is why I call this podcast “The Transform your Mind” because everything starts there. But I loved about the, quantum field, as it relates to success. I actually never thought about it that way until you mentioned it; but you said if you want to move towards something because that's the, quantum field, that's energy that's moving and you have to be an alignment to that goal.

If you I want to red Mercedes but then immediately you say well I can never afford it, that's what you’re talking about, as far as you're not moving in alignment. I Actually absolutely love putting it all together. If you want success you've got to hold what you want in front of you so that you can be strategically moving towards it and also be aware of the energy that you're talking about. If you've got stuck energy, you've got blocked energy or you you're feeling bad then you're actually blocking your flow.

So, the next question I Want to ask you is about the luminaries and thought leaders that you mentioned in your bio. I love them all I didn't know much about Marianne Wilkinson, but I love Dr Wayne Dyer, I'm listening to two of his audio books right now. One is on Balance which is almost the same thing we're talking about today.

I have a Neale Donald Walsch book in my library “Conversations with God” It was one of the best books I have read. I studied that book. And Abraham Hicks, love her. There's was a point in time that I meditated with her every morning. I Picked those three because those are the ones that I know. So what are some of the lessons that you've learned from these luminaries as it you know as it relates to our topic today? Having it all, and, Quantum Success?

I heard of Wayne Dyer probably about 20 years ago. My therapist at the time she was a spiritual psychotherapists, she brought in the spiritual approach, she would hand me CDs, actually back then it was cassette tapes of Wayne Dyer and Marianne Williamson, and so they were my first two early teachers.

There are only 2 emotions love and fear

I really liked the perspective that Marianne talks about because she would talk about the Course In Miracles and how there's really only two emotions, either love or fear; so that really helped me start to connect with the energy and paying attention between, high vibration, or, low vibration, and then of course Wayne Dyer was huge for me in the whole getting in the perspective of my thoughts.

During that time that's when I was learning that your thoughts create your reality and so I was learning that not all thoughts are real and that we have places where as normal human beings we typically automatically think in these ways and for me it was like wow okay, so I'm normal right and yet I have to change these if I want to continue to change my life.

His work has always just been really touched my soul and in the time that I've been able to meet him and you know it just he really is one of those people that really was because he's passed on, but he really walks his talk. He truly was a lightworker and I could feel that it around him and it was there was an authenticity that and of what he taught and how he lived so that's what I learned about and appreciate him.

He was a very humble man and he never felt better than other people and he really had taught me a lot about ego and in keeping the ego in check and in that sort of thing. The Power of Intention, I mean that's an incredible book. I've been following Abraham Hicks Probably around the equal amount of time around 20 years and I was given a cassette from a little group that I was in in Redding California and I listened to them and you know listening test or channel Abraham and it was like whoa this is really strange and weird and yet I felt good listening to it, not only the words this used but the vibration that I felt.

As a pharmaceutical rep I had a big area in California, I would drive around with a cassette recorder on my passenger seat with all these different cassettes. I was really a tuning into a different perspective, I always write whether you know you buy someone's book and you read the book while you're just going to bed at night or you're driving around the car and you listen to a podcast that bless you or you know some kind of media where you're getting a different perspective than what most people think and how most people think because that's going to help you change your perspective. If you're inundated with the news and you know things like that and around a lot of people that are negative it's very hard to get out of that space unless you do something deliberately.

Saying yes to having it all

We're going to get in it to our topic today which is, “Having it All”, or “The, Art of, Having It All” so let me give you a little bit about you know the more a little tidbit that I picked up from you know reading the synopsis of the book. Christy in your book you ask “ ?” You ask the question like a lawyer asks the question a rhetorical question that we know the answer and your answer was a resounding “YES”

Absolutely exactly right. In the, Art of Having it all, you shared precise steps you took to create radical turn arounds in the midst of potentially devastating real-life situations. Freeing yourself of nearly $90,000 of unwanted debt, 30 extra pounds, navigating the turbulent waters of divorce, and this last two are really hard for most people, the grief of your sister's suicide, and the life-threatening illness of your newborn son.

As I read that I get goose bumps on it because you know that's a lot of stuff to have to deal with and I know we've touched on the energy and most of this beforehand as we talked in your bio, and some of the questions to answered already; but can you tag on to anything that you haven't talked about. What advice you'd give out listeners who are going through, as we call it the wilderness of the storm, in their lives right now.

Absolutely all of those things that you mentioned all of them, I got through and grew from them and had them turn out even better than I could have even imagined, because of the fact that I knew about the Universal Laws and that I knew about lack and energy and Lack in abundance and, I knew about emotions and all that. I knew that I needed to focus on my perspective on, having it all, my sons, my marriage, so just even in the case of my son Maxim, when he was 2 months of age he was rushed to the hospital and he had to have open-heart surgery as a tiny little baby.

Crazy, the miracles that were around that are just like the story is incredible. Typically babies that have a transposition of the arteries are usually found in the mother's womb, they see it in the ultrasound and then they do a heart surgery on them, probably one to two days of life, two days of the latest. If they don't catch it, it's usually within you know the first week and if it's not caught within the first week babies usually die in the crib if it's not detected. Wow!

Yeah, he was two months of age and the only thing that kept him alive is he had a little hole between both of his arteries and the valve that closes when a baby typically has their first few breaths, his didn't close so he was barely breathing which we didn't realize; but he if they did ever did this type of surgery on the baby this old so it was just the fact that he was just there and he was wanting to be there.

It's like, I knew that he was going to be fine and so I went I Told my husband I'm like okay listen we can't have anybody else's negative energy we can't have fear we can't have any of this around the situation. The only visual I'm going to hold taking Maxim home with his brother Alex, And the three of you wrestling and growing up and taking vacations and taking them to Disneyland and taking him camping and you know just like all these visions absolutely.

All these different watching and play baseball and so that was the only vision. Our family was freaking out and scared, of course we had to process our own emotions because it was an emotional roller coaster; whenever we were around him we didn't let in any fear energy. We would clear ourselves before we would walk in the hospital to see him and very selective of who we let around him and stuff and we did that because it's like we just wanted to keep in the positive space we wanted to keep in that energy flow of all good things and any possibility of negativity or fear or any lower-level emotions we wanted to keep it out of the creation; because it was it was imperative.

I'm happy to say that he's now seven-year-old boy, he's been cleared for years. He's got a perfect heart. I mean the surgery that they did was two months is like growing with him it's amazing yeah just the coolest kid and you know and just very grateful I mean just amazing and you know so it's that alone you know we would sit there and deliberately write down like okay what are the positive aspects about the situation nothing will go my God your child almost died is in the hospital ICU.

How could you even look for a positive in that situation? Well for me, we had to because we had to keep our vibration high, so I would write out, how I'm grateful how I was at the best Children's Hospital in all of North America, I was grateful that we were close to home and that we had family to take care of our son Alex during the day so we could be with Maxim. Grateful that all the nurses loved him and just all the positive aspects nothing but.

It's a universal law if you're in lack and limitation you cannot create abundance from that place and so you have to get into it's the law of sufficiency and abundance, you have to get into the place of being at peace, feeling that it's sufficient, it's good enough. You don't have to be over the moon excited about it, but at least coming from that place of appreciation and gratitude looking for what's right and good and stuff what's wrong and bad and when you do that your life will continue to change contrast will show up it shows up for every single person but it's how what you do with the contrast when it happens whether it's really extreme or it's minor you know some people get really reactive and how big emotional reactions over very small things and then when things come they're just like oh my God you know so we have to know how to manage our energy.

I'm Going to redress something, I experienced suicide in my family myself. My daughter was engaged to be married, she was planning her wedding and her fiancé, shot himself and committed suicide and like you I'm a very positive person, I wouldn't say that I know how to work energy like you are because you're an expert on that, but in my life I've had a lot of challenges and you know you say that you can look at your book of wars and in my book of wars told me that almost every challenge that I faced, had a positive outcome just like you can you can see now but your son when that incident happened; but for the life of me I couldn't find the positive in that, suicide.

Now I think I'd go back in and I and I think that the positive maybe, like my pastor talked yesterday that sometimes God breaks you so that he can fit you in for your purpose. I think that my daughter came out of that situation a stronger person but at the time I couldn't find the positive, so how did you find the positive energy in your sister’s suicide? There's a lot of suicides going on right now so maybe someone is listening that can benefit from some advice on how to deal with someone close to you committing, suicide?

Dealing with suicide

This is a great question. For me I remember just feeling that I have to make a decision for myself because she chose what she chose and we can't control what other people choose, it was her life it was her decision even Abraham Hicks says that every death is really a suicide. Anyways when someone takes their own life we make it mean so much and it is shocking and it is traumatic, it's not like someone gets a disease and they get degenerative because of that and then they pass, this is something that's horrible, taking that away either but when someone abruptly ends their life in such a dramatic way it is very traumatic on everybody around them.

I would look at my sister it's like okay she chose what she chose what do I get to choose from my life? Then I started asking myself those questions. What do I want for my life? Why do I want these things? How am I going to want to feel? Really start to feel that way; but during the process I will tell you I allowed myself to feel my feelings, when I felt angry at the situation at her and anything I've processed my anger. I didn't go and beat anybody up.

I mean there's a proprietary process, anger right it's not raging it's not hurting another person but I would feel my anger. I would yell into a pillow, there's things you can do that are constructive for you that and as long as you're feeling the energy of those emotions and you're not bottling move it and I what you're saying yes yeah If I needed to cry, I would cry. I gave myself permission to cry whenever I Felt like. I needed to cry, I would excuse myself and I will go cry.

Conclusion

Christy I Want to thank you so much for being an awesome guest. Our conversation today on, having it all, was very inspirational and like I said I learned a lot from you. Looking forward to our next talk, we are going to dive a little deeper into “How to use the 7 essential Laws of Attraction to create a thriving joyful and prosperous relationship with your work and money.” I Want to thank everyone for tuning in today to on the radio at www.wdjyfm.com in Metro Atlanta. This podcast is distributed to iTunes, TuneIn radio, Stitcher, Google play and now also on iHeart radio. I would love everyone who’s listening to subscribe so that the podcast can rank higher on iTunes and more people like you can listen to awesome messages like the one we have today. so Christy Until next time Namaste

Your Focus Determines Your Actions

Your focus determine your actions

Are you aware of your, emotional home?  It is what you, focus, on when the going gets tough, determines your, actions. Your, emotional home, is the emotion you return to when life events happen, good or bad. For example, have you ever been fired? What did you, focus, on?

What was your, emotional response? Did you, focus, on fear that you will be homeless?  Was it hope that you will find a better job, or did you, focus, on gratitude, that now you can do what you really love. Science shows that our, emotions, have a home and we always go home.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10921352-your-focus-on-determines-your-actions.mp3?download=true

 

Tony Robbins, tells the story often about one Thanksgiving when he was 11 years old, his step father had just lost his job and they were eating saltine crackers and butter for dinner when there was a knock at the door and a man was there with a basket of food and a Turkey.

His father was not grateful for the food. He told the man at the door. We don’t accept charity and tried to shut the door in the man’s face. The man put his foot in the door and responded it was not charity and he was just the delivery man.

His father took the food without saying thanks and slammed the door in the man’s face.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

What you Focus on  is your emotional home

The meaning you give life events determines the, actions, you take.

Tony’s father chose to, focus,  on the fact that he could not provide for his family and that is why someone had to send them food.

The meaning he attached to this, focus, was that was he was a failure.

His, actions, were to leave his family.

Tony on the other hand chose to, focus,` on the fact that they had food, his emotion was, gratitude.

The meaning he gave it was that strangers cared.

The action he did was to pay it forward and at 17 years old started his organization, Feeding America.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

What actions did you take when you felt pain

Many of you listening had events that happened in your childhood that shaped who you became as an adult and formed your, emotional home.

We’re you sexually molested as a child?

We’re you bullied in school because you wore hand me downs and your shoes had holes in them?

Did your parents favor your siblings?

In every one of those scenarios, you focused on the situation.

You probably give it the meaning that you were worthless or unlovable.

What, actions, did you take?

Did you become sexually promiscuous?

Did you sleep with boys or men to get money to buy stuff?

Did you hate your parents or siblings?

The, emotions, that came from the meaning affect our, actions, and are the, emotions, you return to when you are hurt.

Let me help you change the narrative – you have to deliberately draw a line in the sand and change it.  It takes work to, rewrite your story.

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STEPS TO REWRITE YOUR STORY

  1. Examine your habits
    Instead of focusing on what you want to change, turn your attention to the bad habit or habits that lead to you wanting to learn how to change yourself. Are your sugar cravings at 10 PM what lead to you being overweight? Is your habit of sleeping in and arriving at work late getting in the way of your promotion? Once you’ve identified the, negative habits, you can create better ones that will help you, rewrite your story, such as utilizing delayed gratification.
  2. Practice every day
    Once you know what your new, healthy habits, are, practice them every single day – no matter what. Have a backup plan in case circumstances get in the way of your new habits and don’t allow yourself to cut corners.
  3. Focus on self-reflection
    One of the habits that lead you to wanting to learn how to change your life around was not facing reality. You need to, focus, on realistic self-reflection throughout your journey and, when needed, ask those you trust for their perspective. Are you improving? If not, what else needs to change?
  4. Surround yourself with good people
    When you spend quality time with good people who love you, you develop a natural support system for your new habits and you are able to, rewrite your story, in a nurturing environment.
  5. Keep taking risks
    If you want to learn how to change your life, you cannot stay in your comfort zone. You need to take risks until you get comfortable with those risks – then take more. The more you push yourself, the easier it will become to rewrite your story and transform your life.

Conclusion

Can you use your story to help others?

If you take control of your mind and, focus, on making better decisions, sometimes the worst experiences in life turn out to be your best teachers and your, testimony.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of, 5 min Fridays, I hope you were inspired to become aware of your emotional home and if is not a positive emotion, change it. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources 

How to become Limitless: Emotional Intelligence Leadership

How Can Millennials Find Their Purpose

 

As, Millennials, deal with, adulting, they ask themselves, What is my purpose? What is the reason for my existence?

Today on the “Transform your Mind with Coach Myrna Podcast”, I interview the Author of “The, Millennial's, Playbook to Adulting”, Arika L. Pierce

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Steps to Adulting

  • The first step is to find your passion. This is where you find that you can be in it all day long and you don't feel tired and you don't feel bored and you're just illuminated and just joyful and and it's a great way to live your life. You know when you live a passionless life just because you're making money does not mean that you are living with passion.

Let me share a personal story. My daughter Keshia Morris Desir always felt that she was supposed to be a Psychologist, getting her degree and everything. Along that journey she read Nelson's Mandela's book “A long walk to freedom” and decided that she needed to become a political advocate and she just switched right away. She applied and got into American University, the top political science university with no background in politics.

Today she's working for a company right next door to the White House, and doing some great great work at Common Cause.

I didn't even think about that until right now and that's what I like about the Holy Spirit or of my Higher Self

things pop into my head. It is also an example of leaning your ladder up against the wrong building!

  • My next question is a follow-up to the first and it is do you agree that we're all meant to do a certain thing on this earth? And what is your advice to, Millennial,  on finding their, purpose? How Can, Millennials, Find Their, Purpose?
Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Let's say using my daughter story that she didn't know what her, purpose, was as a, millennial.  She went to school and maybe felt psychology was a job that can make her money that's where a lot of, Millennials, Park right?  So what advice do you give them?

  • To answer your first question in terms of do I think we're all here to do something, yes I definitely believe that we individually are all here to bring some value or offer something back to the world. I believe some of us it takes longer than others but; I do believe we are all here to accomplish something and I think we probably give different weight to what we accomplish. Just because what you believe it is something small it can be transformational to somebody else. In terms of what I believe, Millennials, can do in terms of finding their, purpose, I actually think it starts with a very simple concept and that is honestly taking time to think and to plan and I think.  When we sit back and you when you look at your life if you plan it with the level of detail that you plan for example a vacation you'd be surprised about you know how much how differently you might view things.

I recommend taking one hour a week to evaluate where you are and where you want to go.

The timeline might be where I want to go this week, it might be where I want to go in the next year, in the next two years or five years from now. Whatever time period I feel I need to think about it and plan for at that time for example if you're thinking,  I hate my job, it's not fulfilling this is not my, purpose. Then you know think about what would make you feel more purposeful? What are the types of positions or jobs that you would like to be in? And then what are the steps that you need to take to get there. Do you need to you know go back to school? Do you need to join a networking group?

My daughter came to me one day and said that she wants to become a politician and I look at her this sweet innocent person that had no politician skills or natural talents and I said to her

“How do you get there how do you get from where you are today to where you want to be tomorrow?”

As her coach we planned it

  • Toastmasters and learn how to speak in front of people,
  • school for political science,
  • volunteer so she can get some political experience and things like that so yeah and you got to make a

plan and the beautiful thing about it you know is that it might feel far-fetched but you never know if it's really your purpose the universe, God will step in and help you get there. That's why when my daughter applied to American University she said she only had a 30% chance of being accepted. She said I'll apply there's no hope that I'm gonna get in and guess what she got in because she's on, purpose,  because God helps you if you are on, purpose!

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Don't ever think that anything is too big for God.

Les Brown says reach for the the stars, you might fallback on the moon!

I agree. One of my favorite quotes is

If your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.

You have to become comfortable with being uncomfortable and that's really I think when you accept that, it will help you in finding your, purpose.

Especially if you're not currently living what you believe to be your, purpose. I like that one I mean you  talked.

about it before you must really live by that and it's very true you know when my daughter went to Washington she was incredibly uncomfortable, she was in a city that she didn't know anyone, she was going into something that she didn't

know anything about and it was uncomfortable and that's only way you grow.

Alright so and this is coming from your book, you've got a chapter in your book about your giving advice and strategies and how, Millennials, can achieve their goals in the workplace; but I like the word hustle that you used to describe this. You advise to hustle to get what you want in this world. I think when you hustle you have to you have to be hungry you have to really want it. You have to be motivated and so I think to your point earlier, when it's something that you truly want and you feel passionate about or you really wanted to achieve the hustle actually comes fairly easy at least in the

beginning because you know you most likely will accept that challenge and want to go after it. Where it becomes a challenging, I would say is consistently hustling, always having that thirst, that hunger to push yourself further and

that sometimes can be where we tend to fall off. That's human nature, you have to learn to hold yourself accountable and to make sure that you are you're hitting your own personal benchmarks and hitting your own personal goals. And so a good way to keep the hustle mentality I would say is to make sure that you have measurable things that you want to do and so that way you've got a way to check yourself.

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I use that analogy because when you're finding

your, purpose, you mentioned what are your interests and what excites you but

I'm going to add to that what are you good at. What's your natural ability?

What's your natural talent? Because that's what you have in your hand.

Ray Charles was born blind, and he just picked up a piano and played. But

but some of us has to do these stepping stones.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

What is Adulting.

In your book, in fact your book is called “the, Millennial's, playbook, adulting” Can you explain

what you mean by, adulting, and how that relates to how to find your, purpose?

Adulting, is actually a it's a, millennial, term.

Social media usually uses funny hashtags like

I'm doing laundry hashtag #adulting pain pills #adulting. I'm over

#adulting. Adulting, is really just the idea of growing up frankly and taking on new

responsibilities and transitioning into an adult. I would say being more

independent and if in terms of how can a dull teen connect to her purpose? I

think that one of the things I you know in my coaching is what did I tell people

and tell the, Millennial, that I work with is when you are transitioning into an adult

you are now the owner of your life. I actually say you're the CEO of ME

Incorporated and part of that is determining what you want to do and so it's no longer what your

parents what you to do or what your teachers or grandparents want you to do.

All of these influencers who have really directed you for the majority of

your life so far this next phase of your life is really about running your own life

like a CEO. A CEO runs her company as she sees fit. and so you know I think often times there

are, Millennials, who are in professions because that's what their

parents wanted them to do or that's what was expected of them or that's what they

said they were going to do and they were embarrassed to change their

minds. Well if you want to change your mind, it is now up to you to do so. That's

part of being an adult. It's unlikely that someone is going to come

to you and to say I think that you need to change your

passion or your job. So I would just encourage, Millennials,

especially to think about what they want out of life.

Don't for others to direct your path, certainly others can help lead

you in the direction that you want to go to, and I am a firm believer of

leveraging a personal board of advisers and your mentors and people

around you to help you and to guide you and to get feedback. But it is

really up to you to do the exercises, to do the work, and to decide where you want

to go next or where you want to take your life professionally.

On the first page of your book you made

the humorous statement and I quote

“Dear Universe I miss the how to be an adult 101 class, send help and my mom and wine”

I thought that was humorous. So my question to you is which, adulting, class did you

think that you missed and have the most struggle with?

Probably for me it's the financial class. I

actually spoke to a group of, Millennials, yesterday as part

of a fellowship program and one of the questions they asked was can you tell me about managing my finances?

I admitted to them that managing my finances especially when I was younger

and like 20 was very difficult. I sort of used my debit card like a gift card, just

charge and see how much it is. So and that wasn't that wasn't smart

decision making and I think that as I've grown up I've been forced

to become much more financially literate. I just don't mean you know okay I

save money now that that's that's not being fighting totally financially

literate I mean really understanding you know what's coming in what's going out

I'm having that data point and now you know there's lots of apps that can help

you figure that out as well as understanding what's the best way to say

it's my money what are what are you know but ways that I can you know increase

increase my salary or my revenue streams besides just my day-to-day

nine-to-five job understanding the stock market understanding you know investments and

things like that especially being an entrepreneur really understanding those

types of things are really important and so I think that I came from a very

traditional family that was you put some money in a saving account you do that

every single week and you will likely not you know that's the best thing you

won't go poor that's how you do it but that but there's so much more to that

and so that was part of the I would say the, adulting, class that there I have I

had to say have one that I did not get that I probably you know still learning

but you know came to me much later in life that I think is very critical

um to proper adult thing yeah that's actually pretty good you know I helped

my daughter a lot with that but I'm just learning that now in my 50s so I

understand that because you know our parents certainly didn't sit down and

teach us because they didn't even know themselves so that was a perfect answer

I love it alright so tell our listeners how they can get in touch her to you if

they want any kind of coaching or to purchase a copy of your book sure you

can go to my website.

www.arikapierce.com

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-millennial-playbook-unpacking-limiting-beliefs/

 

 

 

How to Let Your Desires Flow

How to let your, desires flow, out of you. We can become like the, Alchemist, and transform our desires and let our, desires flow, out of us when we realize that we are abundant.
Whether it's a relationship, whether it's a job whether it's travel, whatever is your most intimate, desire, we've been teaching you, me and my co-host miss Margo Blake has been teaching you how to achieve the, Alchemy of Desire, which is the magical transformation of thoughts into manifestation.

Today I want to conclude with now that you've got it how
to flow with it so we're calling this episode “How to let your, desires flow”

How to let your desires flow

  1. Knowing what you want, and once you know what you want in order to activate it you need to put some emotion to it and that is how you activate the,  Law of Attraction.
  2. Using the, energy of desire, to create something magical.
  3. Put your attention on your, desires, so that you can light your, desires, on fire!

 

How to keep what you now have

What you have in your hands need some work, you just don't get it and then you don't have to do anything else.
Relationships, require work, and most people have a false sense of entitlement.
They feel that it is enough that they are just there in the relationship and
all they have to do is show up or come home every night and they feel that
they're doing something. People think that you should love them as they are
and they don't need any work or they don't need to make any changes.

I remember one of my ex-husband's actually saying this to me.
A few months after we were married I asked him to take more care with his
Appearance and hygiene because he was walking around looking like he was homeless and this was his response and I quote

“This is what you bought and you can't send it back”

A lot of people feel that hey you picked me, you bought me, you got into a relationship with me, so you must be okay with how I am, and you know you gotta put up or shut up. But that does not lead to a healthy relationship.

Your desires need work to manifest

Some ask why do I have to do all this work? I have heard people say it's either a fit or it's or it's not. Why try to force a square peg in a round hole? Good question. It's true, that there are some square pegs that definitely do not need to be forced into a round hole because it's never gonna fit right; but we're not talking about the obvious misfits. We're talking about couples have some synergy. They have love but they just got to do a little bit of work.

We all know the spouse or a partner that just comes home and turn on the TV and pay his partner no attention. Those are the ones were talking about. Relationships,  needs work to keep them fresh and healthy.

When, relationships, are not fresh and healthy, couples then become roommates and it's never more evident as when you go to your partner and you say “Hey this is not working out, I think we should we should go our separate ways and they say sure why not. They agree!

My gosh that is like a slap in your face or like someone throwing a cold bucket of water on you! That is not the response you want but; that's what happens when the relationship Ebbs and Ebbs and nobody pays any attention and you're now just roommates. What has happened is that your partner has emotionally checked out a long time ago and they're just there for I don't know, finances, the children or whatever the reason. You have to let your, desires flow.

When you break up with someone you want them
to miss you. You want them to chase you. You don't want them to say.
“Sure, why not!”. That's not the response that we should get when
we're trying to terminate a relationship right?

When desire stop flowing

I remember reading Gabrielle Union's book We're Going To Need More Wine”  and she told the story a very sad story about the night she had a fight with her first husband. She describes this relationship as feeling like you are driving towards a brick wall yet being incapable of mashing on the breaks! Her marriage was going down the tank for a long time but she didn't want to give up on it.

So, she told the story about a night she had a fight with her husband one of their many fights and she ran out the house in the middle of the night, four o'clock in the morning or some ridiculous time like that. She expected her husband to chase her because you know your husband should be worried about you, he's supposed to be to protect you!

Gabriel ended up sitting by a tree and falling asleep. When she woke up in the morning she was sure that her husband was worried about her and called the cops. She expected to find cops all over her house when she got home. Instead she found her husband fast asleep.
That's when she realized there was no hope for her marriage. Her husband's, desire, for her had stopped flowing.

What can you do to keep desires flowing

So ladies and gentlemen, Ask yourself what do you bring to the table?
You now have the object of your affection, you won. He or she is now yours what are you going to do to keep him or her?
Ladies maybe you were a seductress and got the man interested, now what? What else you got?
One quality will bring someone to the table and even make them fall in love with you but it will not keep them. It will not hold them.

Lots of people love others, but can't live with them.
Lot of couples divorce yet are still in love, that is because you need a pairing of attractive qualities.
A one hat trick is not going to be enough in the long run.
Ladies, You know that there is a long line of seductress waiting around the corner to entice your man.
Men if all you got, is that you are the provider, well all your woman has to do is look to the left or right and find another man with a job and he can replace you.
What is your unique paring? What make your, desires flow?

This information was the reason I went through 4 husbands.
They all had one thing but not the unique pairing I required to hold me.
I will tell you it took me almost 30 years to find it in my current relationship.
My unique paring was ambition and genuine caring. Caring for me and my daughter.
When you get this unique paring you get not only an attraction but you get an addiction.
The “and” is what makes you difficult to replace.
What I would like to do now is play for you an except from one of the relationship experts I interviewed on this show to add some context to our conversation. Ms Inez Bracy is a coach and author of Rejuvenate your life: 21 days to feel like a woman again.

Days to feel like a woman again by Inez Bracy

5 Ways to let your desires flow

1. Meditation
Your journey begins whenever you say it is. Meditation allows you to connect to your inner self and let your, desires flow, out of you.
Now is this moment if you decide this second yeah this makes perfect sense to me. I am going to do something to start changing my life.
If you decide that that's perfect and you go into silence and into meditation, being still, whatever it is you desire to change will reveal itself to you. It will come in a way where you are given steps to take.
Now I can tell you this when that comes, it is going to come very quietly, it's not going to be loud and boisterous, it's going to tell you perhaps you should do this or that.

2. Celebration
The next thing that I enjoy is celebrations. Celebrate something every single day and that's what my blissful living challenge is all about. So many times we can get caught up in everything that's going on around us. Almost like a vortex we get just sucked into it; but if you've ever been around a baby, small babies or under two years old. Up to that age the baby's just gurgles and giggles and they are just so happy.
I imagine it now.

Being blissful allows your desires to flow.  They have no reason not to be. We lose that along the way from boundaries and everything else that comes along. When we lose that we get to recapture and reclaim it because it is our birthright. Babies come in the world with it. We could to reclaim our birthright and no matter what is going on in our environment, we can still choose bliss.

3. Vibration Frequency
The more you start to celebrate, the more you lift your vibrations and The more you sing, the more you dance, the less often you will have to shovel; because your vibrational energy is at a point now where it's attracting to you those things that are good. This level of vibration is higher so you're going to be attracting love, you're going to be attracting Joy, you're going to be attracting bliss.

Yes, I talk about gratitude like that but; I guess it's the same word be grateful for what you have regardless of what's lacking. Don't concentrate on what you don't have. Concentrate on what you want. So that you can raise your vibrational frequency and attract good things.

So, yes celebrating having gratitude very important.

4. Vision
Another thing is to visualize. To live in a space of visualization to write out what it is you want. When I'm working with my clients, I say to them I desire you get to write out your vision for your life. Where do you want to live?
How does it look? How does it show up?

Sit down and see yourself in the theater of your mind. On your own stage and you're the actor and the producer!
Write out your vision for your life.

5. Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda
We can spend our entire lives lamenting Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda and that's all in the past. All in the past, it's already happened or didn't happen. Those words have no value to this present moment. They have no value to your future either.
So you should begin to eliminate woulda coulda shoulda from your vocabulary

Additional resources 

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-use-energy-desire-transform-your-life/