Eagles, love the storm. When clouds gather, the Eagle, get excited. The Eagle, uses the, winds of the storm, to lift it higher. We can also learn to, fly like an eagle, above the, storms of life.
Did you suffer from Childhood sexual abuse or sexual harassment as an adult? Today on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast, I share my journey from being sexually abused as a child and how I used the, storms of life, to, fly like an, eagle in a storm. I teach how you too can use the winds from the, storms of life, to elevate your life to greater heights.
In this blog, we will study the, Eagle, and how the, Eagle, looks forward to the storm, because the, eagle, knows that only by using the, winds of the storm, can she elevate to greater heights. Eagles in a storm, fly above the storm. Without the, storm, she can never fly above the clouds. Similarly, in life we need challenges, hurts and disappointments to get us out of our comfort zones and teach us to fly like, eagles in a storm. Without the, storms of life, we would become complacent.
Here are some characteristics of the Eagle:
How to, fly like an Eagle, above the, storms of life
The crow that picks and picks at the ground, can’t rise to the heights of the eagle or is not conditioned to rise about the ground. It's mindset is to stay on the ground and peck for food.
The, Eagle, does not escape the, storm. It simply uses the, storm, to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the, storm.
When the, storms of life, come upon us — and all of us will experience them — we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God and fly above the, storms of life, like an eagle, or we can be like the crow and peck and peck on the ground.
The, storms of life, do not have to overcome us. We can allow power of, Jesus Christ, to lift us above thw, winds of the storm. Jesus Christ, enables us to ride the, winds of the storm, that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the, storm.
1. Eagles, fly alone at high altitude and not with sparrows or with other small birds. No other bird can go to the height of the, Eagle. We can, fly like an eagle, where no others go.
2. Eagles, have strong vision. They have the ability to focus on something up to five kilometers away. When an, Eagle, sites his prey, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it. No matter the obstacle, the, Eagle, will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it. We can have vision like an, Eagle, and have focus on our goals.
3. Eagles in the storm, When clouds gather the, Eagle, get excited. The, Eagle, uses the, winds of the storm, to lift it higher. Once it finds the, winds of the storm, the Eagle uses the raging, storm, to lift him above the clouds. This gives the, Eagle, an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the leafs and branches of the trees. We can use the, storms of life, to rise to greater heights. Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.
Storms, bring destruction
I meditated on the reason for the hurricanes that caused so much destruction to homes and property in the Caribbean islands, Houston, TX and Florida. I believe that God does not make mistakes, that everything in the Universe has a purpose. So, I asked myself what is the purpose of the, storm?
My initial response from the Universe was that, storms, are created with the purpose to blow down the old and make room for the new, because everything is recycled on this earth. But I felt there was more so that is why I decided to study the, Eagle. As mentioned before. The ,Eagle, uses the, storm, to elevate him higher. He can't fly to great heights without the winds of the storm.
What if God created the, storm, to elevate his people?
The, storm, does not only blow down old trees, it blows down old houses as well, it blows down old power posts and power lines. So, in actuality we should be like the eagle and anxiously await the storm to see what old thing will be renewed.
It works for old relationships as well. There is something immensely intimate about riding out the, storm, with your loved one. Just you and your close family members. All the attention is on each other. No television, no lights just the personal connection and candle light!
I have always loved, storms. I remember the first, storm, that me and my husband rode out together. We were only dating for about 3 months. I loved the rain on the roof, the sounds of the winds rustling the roof, the sight of the palm trees blowing in the winds and being wrapped up in his arms. I think we came out of that experience closer than we went in. That is a time to really talk and share! Get to know each other.
The other thing the, storm, to the Caribbean Islands brings is new things to replace the old. If you had an old roof and the wind blew if off, guess what FEMA will give you a new one. If your pool screens were old and the wind just ripped them apart more then guess what you get new screens at no cost to you. If your old car was on its last leg, then you could park it under a tree and pray the tree falls on it! You get my point.
How you experience anything depends on how you interpret it. Change your mindset that the, storm, comes to take from you and replace it with the winds of the storm brings change. Changing out the old for the new.
Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, in the, storm, and you will not sink
But I still think there is more!
The bible teaches us to keep our eyes on, Jesus Christ, when we are in the, storm.
There was a time when Jesus had sent his disciples to go on before him while he stayed in the mountain to pray (Matthew 14:23).
While they were in the boat there came a, storm, “and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.”- Matthew 14:24
Seeing the distress his disciples were in, Jesus Christ, went to them, walking on water. When Peter saw, Jesus Cjrist, he asked him to allow him to come to him, by walking on the water. Peter started to walk on with his faith however, when Peter reached at a certain distance he got distracted, and when he got distracted by the boisterous wind he became afraid and started to sink.
“But when [Peter] saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” (Matthew 14:30 NIV)
Many of us are like Peter, we started our journey with the Lord and even though the, storms of life, come our, faith, allows us to overcome these trials, you could say to ‘walk on water’. But along the way we get distracted especially when we think the situation has gone on for too long, or we come upon big, storm. I am using the, storm, here as a metaphor for trouble. It was easy to trust God when our trials were little; but what happens when the situations seem bigger than we are able to handle? What happens when we have a category 4 storm? Do we let fear in? Or do we anticipate it with the mindset that it will elevate us to new heights?
Focusing on what’s happening around us will cause us to be afraid; afraid of losing our family, losing our jobs, our homes, or being broke and not having enough to take care of our needs. We start worrying about what is going to happen next and very soon we start to sink.
The, storm, also bring with it floods. The water could be more dangerous than the winds.
With Irma, I was going to ride out the, storm, in my home because my house is built to withstand the winds; but as soon as they started talking about 10-15 ft. storm surges. I called my husband and said we are leaving now! I was afraid of my car being under water and I pictured me on the roof waiting to be rescued. So, I understand fear!
Joel Osteen had a message about flood waters he used the analogy of your water breaking during childbirth. That flood there signals new birth as is regarded with excitement. He also reminded us that we never know when that flood is going come. His wife Victoria water broke when she was in an elevator going somewhere that was not the hospital! It is all about perception. Ask yourself what is the good that can come out of the house and car being flooded? You get new ones of course ! Usually the insurance pays!
Here are five things God wants you to do if you feel like you’re sinking in a, storm.
1. Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, and stay focus.
The moment you take your eyes off the Lord, you will go under. When you focus on the wind and the waves — your circumstances — you’re going to sink, just like Peter. There will be many things happening in the world to get you distracted. Economies going under, crime and violence on the rise, people losing their jobs, accidents on the rise and so forth. These things will get you distress. Jesus Christ, tells us that when we see these things happening, that is not the time to get sidetracked, but it is the time to look up (Luke 21:28.)
2. Do not be fearful, Jesus is with you in the, storm.
When you’re in a, storm, it is very easy to become fearful, fearful that you will not get rid of a sickness, fearful that your marriage will end, fearful that your child will die, fearful that you will not be able to pay off your debts or bills and still have enough money to survive. But when fear comes, and it will come, take authority over it and stand on the promises of God that he will always be with you. Fear comes with torment and that’s why Jesus gives us peace (John 14:27). Peace that will help you to ride out your storms.
3. Don’t let go of, faith.
Faith, is like our heavenly currency that we use to draw what we need from the spiritual realm. When you maintain your faith you will receive strength to weather the, storms of life.
4. Don’t doubt.
You don’t need great, faith, to make it through the, storms of life. You just need faith in the right person, that is, Jesus Christ. Peter started to sink when he started to doubt.
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5. Praise God.
Praise is a weapon, a very powerful one. It confuses the enemy as he cannot understand how you able facing your storms but will have a praise. When Jehoshaphat was facing a large army, he did not use swords to fight his battle, he just praised God and his enemies were totally destroyed. Even in the storm, even when you feel like you’re sinking, even when you’re scared to death — praise him all the time.
Tom Brady, says, the key to success lies in, goal setting, and taking massive action towards the attainment of these goals. Tom says a hundred years of psychological research has taught us that, setting strong goals, matter, if you want to improve your chances of succeeding.
As Millennials graduate from high school, graduate from college, or get engaged to be married, a formula on, How to Set Strong Goals, should be prominent their minds.
In each stage of life, we should have, short term goals, and, long-term goals. Short term goals are goals you would like to achieve within the year and, long-term goals, are goals you would like to achieve in let’s say 10 years.
So, if we were to ask a young lady what her goals after graduation are from college, her short-term goals, would probably be either get a job and start supporting herself or enroll in a graduate program.
Today I want to teach on, goal setting, not just having a mediocre goal but a strong goal, set SMART goals.
I always like to use stories as an illustration so today I want to use, Tom Brady, goal setting as a demonstration of how to, set SMART goals
How to Set Strong Goals like a Champion: Tom Brady
Tom Brady, says, the key to success lies in, goal setting, and taking massive action towards the attainment of these goals. Tom says a hundred years of psychological research has taught us that, setting strong goals, matter, if you want to improve your chances of succeeding.
A, strong goal, is a map to your destination. It is like a seed!
Plant, strong goals, in your mind and it will be the most important decision you make in your life. Then Care of your planted seed every day.
By the mid-2000s, Tom Brady, was the undisputed king of the gridiron. In 2002 he became the youngest quarterback in the history of the National Football League, NFL, to lead his team to a, Super Bowl, victory. Two years later, in 2004, he proved the magic was still strong when he led the New England Patriots to their second, Super Bowl, title in three years.
In addition, Tom Brady, was named the Super Bowl's Most Valuable Player (MVP) in 2002 and 2004. The dimpled, clean-cut quarterback had reached career heights that most veteran football players envied, and he had done it all before he was thirty years old; But, Tom Brady, ONCE HAD SIMPLE DREAMS
In the pride-swallowing days at the University of Michigan, when he was constantly trying to prove that he deserved to start, Brady used to sit up at night with his good friend Aaron Shea and talk about what they'd do when they made it big. Shea, a tight end for the Wolverines, used to rattle off the typical 20-year-old dream purchases. He wanted a Hummer and a Ferrari. Then Shea would ask what Brady wanted.
“‘If I hit it real big,'” Shea recalls, Tom Brady, telling him, “‘I want to be able to wake up, put a pair of socks on, and at the end of the day, I throw them away.'
“I'm like, ‘That's all you want?' And he goes, ‘Yeah, that's what I want. I love new socks!'” But somewhere along the line, he got big dreams. Dreams of being the best!
Setting the goal to be the greatest to play the sport
Tom Brady, was so intent on winning and becoming the very best in history to play his position, that after the Patriot's lost to the Broncos in the AFC championship game in 2016, he had a countdown clock installed in his home gym. I am sure because he wanted to be the undisputed champion and Peyton Manning had won, this round! Competition brings out the best in us.
Throughout the year the countdown clock served as his constant reminder of his goal. A countdown clock says to his, subconscious mind. I will achieve this goal, it is mine, it’s just a matter of time so I am counting down!
The world was the witness at, Super Bowl 51, of, Tom Brady, manifesting of this goal. Down by 25 points at the half, Tom Brady, and the New England Patriots came back to win the game in overtime making Brady the best ever at the game!
With his mother in attendance at the NRG Stadium in Houston and millions of fans watching, Tom Brady, did not disappoint. In a thrilling game, the first that went into overtime in, NFL, history, Brady led the Patriots to a 34-28 victory over the Atlanta Falcons. With this historic win, Brady became the first quarterback in, NFL, history to take home five, Super Bowl rings.
He surpassed quarterbacks Joe Montana, one of his idols, and Terry Bradshaw, who both have four Super Bowl, wins. He also was awarded his fourth Super Bowl MVP for leading a 25-point comeback and throwing a Super Bowl-record 466 passing yards. Super Bowl LI was Brady's seventh championship, which is also an NFL record for the most Super Bowls played.
Brady failed in his bid to become the best and most decorated quarterback in history when he lost to the Eagles in Super bowl 52; but how many of you know that failure is not final.
He took his talents to the, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and in his first season with the Buccaneers, was a major success, as Tampa Bay won 11 games and earned a playoff spot. In the postseason Brady led his team to three straight road victories to advance to the, Super Bowl. There the, Buccaneers,’ standout defense and Brady’s solid play led Tampa Bay to a decisive victory over the Kansas City Chiefs to capture the team’s second (and Brady’s seventh) championship. Brady’s set the, strong goal, to the greatest to ever play the game and he succeeded because when you have a goal and you don’t give up on it, you always win that is why
Coach Lombardi advise is “Never, Never give up, Never ever Quit because Quitters never win”
SMART Goals, have a powerful supernatural energy attached to them!
They activate the subconscious to go to work for you.
In the book “As a man thinketh” by James Allen, Allen attaches the energy of thought to goals.
Those who have no central purpose or goals in their life fall an easy prey to petty worries, fears, troubles, and self-pitying’s, all of which are indications of weakness, which lead, just as surely as deliberately planned sins, to failure, unhappiness, and loss; for weakness cannot persist in a power evolving universe.
A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose or goal in his heart and set out to accomplish it. He should make this goal the centralizing point of his thoughts. It may take the form of a spiritual ideal, or it may be a worldly object, according to his nature at the time being but whichever it is, he should steadily focus his thought-forces upon the object, which he has set before him.
He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and should devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings. This is the royal road to self-control and true concentration of thought. Even if he fails again and again to accomplish his goal, the strength of character gained will be the measure of his true success, and this will form a new starting-point for future power and triumph.
What this means is if your only goal as you graduate from college is to get a job you will find that when you get to your second or third act in life that you may have achieved financial success, but you would have no fulfillment. Fulfillment is only achieved when you are on purpose. On the other hand, if you set goals either for spiritual attainment, personal accomplishment, or for contribution even when you fail and you most likely will, you will be like, Tom Brady, and know that given time, success will be yours.
James Allen, goes on to say that having conceived of his purpose, a man should mentally mark out a straight pathway to its achievement, looking neither to the right nor the left. Doubts and fears should be rigorously excluded; they are disintegrating elements, which break up the straight line of effort, rendering it crooked, ineffectual, or useless.
Thoughts of doubt and fear never accomplished anything, and never can. They always lead to failure. Purpose, energy, power to do, and all strong thoughts cease when doubt and fear creep in.
Amy's story
After losing both her legs at age 19 as a result of bacterial meningitis, Amy Purdy survived to lead a life of extraordinary accomplishments. Amy not only survived losing her legs but at one time all her organs were failing, and she actually died. She tells that when she died, two spirits on the other side offered her a choice of staying dead or coming back to life and she shouted No, I don’t want to die!!
She chose life the same way she chose not to be a disabled person who lives an uninspiring life. She chose to set the goal of snowboarding again. She tells the story of how she visualized in detail her achieving this goal. Amy went on to become a Paralympic bronze medalist in snowboarding, and a finalist on “Dancing with the Stars”. Pick up a copy of her book “On My Own Two Feet: From Losing My Legs to Learning the Dance of Life.” To read about her incredible story
So today, I would like to teach you, How to set strong goals. Goals that make you want to get up in the morning. Goals that motivate and inspire you to action.
Here are 6 steps to setting and accomplishing strong goals
How to Set Strong Goals Step # 1 Start with a road-map
He who doesn't have a map gets lost.
If you don't know where you are going, then it doesn't matter where you end up.
Begin with the end in mind
Here are a few examples of strong goals
• I want to have $500,000 in my bank account at the age of 65, so as not to be a burden to my kids.
• I want to leave a legacy and an inheritance for my children and my children’s children.
• I want to have 3 children, a husband, a good job and own my own home by the time I am 35 years old.
Knowing where you are going allows you to map the route to your destination.
The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind, whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts, the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty.
Knowing your why will get you through the tough times.
S- is for specific for example I want to have $500,000 in the bank
M- is for
A – It must be achievable
R – it must be realistic to some degree
T – It must be timely. A goal is just a dream without a date on it. For example, I want to have $500,000 in the back by the time I am 65 years old.
Your why, so I would not be a burden to my kids. Your Why could be I don’t want to depend on social security.
Step 3: Plan your route
What do you plan to do in exchange for $500,000 in the bank?
How will you attract this money?
Maybe you need to understand the principles or laws on attracting money. Understand how the law of attraction works. Maybe you have an investment strategy, or you plan to become an entrepreneur and sell something.
You can’t grow anything you can’t measure
Borrow to invest. Get your credit score in shape and borrow to invest in Real Estate which is one of the surest ways to build wealth. I was listening to the audio book “Self-Made” a few months back and the author said don’t buy shoes, buy buildings! Great advice.
Goal Step 5: Be prepared for the twists and turns in the road
What skills do you need to acquire to achieve this goal?
What contacts do you need?
What additional knowledge do you need?
What resources do you need to accomplish this goal?
Remember that just because you set a goal and a destination don’t expect the weather will cooperate and the sky will be sunny for the entire trip.
No. Expect that there will be circumstances beyond your control that will delay you, so build in a buffer. Add a few years to your deadline.
In the journey to your goal, you will experience setbacks. A job loss, a divorce, health issues etc. Don’t let the twists and turns in the road, derail you from your goals.
I heard a story of a mother of two who was laid off and without income. She decided to start selling the things in her home on eBay to pay the bills. She then started a meet up group for other eBay sellers to learn the business. She got information for sourcing discount items from wholesalers to sell on eBay. Obviously, her household items could only get her so far!
At one of these meetup meetings, she met an executive from eBay who encouraged her to become a certified ambassador for eBay. That 10Xd her business. Today she has income of over one million dollars annually from eBay sales.
The lesson, setbacks can push you in the direction of your purpose so, change the way you look at failure.
Use your imagination to visualize the things you want to accomplish
Visualize in color with all the details!
The goal of having $500,000 in the bank at 65 years old. Visualize the money in the bank. What do you look like at 65 years old? Who are you with? Where are you living?
What would you do with the money? See the places you would travel to. Dr Joe Vitalie says to nebulize your goals that means to see you already accomplishing them.
So, in conclusion, set strong goals, set SMART goals. Write them down and refer back to them often. And the Law of Attraction will do the rest. I want to leave you with this quote
Only by much searching and mining, are gold and diamonds obtained, man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mine of his soul; he is the maker of his character, the molder of his life, and the builder of his destiny.
So, live your life on purpose. Set goals for achievement, for contribution for fun and play and then go do it!
Welcome to transformation Fridays with coach Myrna, today I want to talk on the subject of, desire – when you, got to have it.
Desire is energy, the, energy of desire, is a force that creates movement towards a desired goal or purpose. The target determines the arrow! When you, desire, something, you think about it all the time and the universe gets to work on manifesting it for you.
When we use the word, desire, we could mean either one of 2 things, the desire, for things, or the desire for sex, sexual desire. In this episode I share tools on how to manifest your, desire for money, and other tangible things.
The concept of a, burning desire, was introduced at the beginning of the book “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. In the book Hill tells the story of a little girl whose momma sent her to get 50 cents from her uncle. This little girl went and told her uncle my momma would like to have 50 cents. The uncle replied tell your momma I don’t have no 50 cents.
But the little girl did not leave she just waited. Minutes go by and the uncle turns around from what he has been doing and noticed the girl still standing at the door, he says go on now before I take a belt to you. Still the little girl would not leave. Finally, he walks towards her preparing to give her the belt and this little walks towards him looking him straight in the eye and yelled at the top of her lungs “my momma got to have that 50 cents”
The uncle amazed put his hand in his pocket and took out 50 cents and gave it to her.
A, burning desire, what is when you, got to have it. If you, got to have it, you won’t go away when someone tells you no, you won’t throw in the towel at the first failure. You won’t move until you get it.
Sylvester Stallone was broke, that’s usually how good stories start. When you hit rock bottom the only place you can go is up.
Anyway, Sylvester was broke and couldn’t afford heat in his home. One day he decided to go into the library to get warm and someone left a book on the table he was sitting on. He decided to read this book. It was a compilation of the works of Edgar Allan Poe. He devoured the book. He said that the book moved him and helped him to stop thinking about himself and to want to help other people. It made him want to become a writer.
He immediately went home and starting writing movie scripts. He wrote a few screen plays and made a few bucks. One day he happened to watch the Mohamed Ali vs Chuck Wepner fight and was inspired to write the story of Rocky Balboa about a nobody fighter given the “million to one opportunity” to challenge for the heavy weight title. He sat down and wrote this script straight for 20 hours without taking a break.
Then he started pitching the script to producers. He was turned down by several studios until he found one that offered him $150,000 for the script, but Stallone had one condition he had to star in the film as Rocky. The studio said no way we are not going to spend millions to produce a film and place an unknown guy who talked funny to play the lead. They said no way Sylvester said, no deal. His desire to play the Rocky was non-negotiable he had to have it.
They kept upping the price they went all the way up to $450,000 and he still said no. Think of that little standing girl by the door not moving until she got her 50 cents.
Stallone would not budge his, burning desire, was to play the lead as Rocky and he had to have it. Meanwhile he was so broke that he had to sell his dog for $50 and he stole his wife’s jewelry and pawned them for money.
But just like the uncle the studio finally said yes, and the rest is history. Sylvester Stallone got his goal to be a movie star because he had to have it. The film went on to make history scoring 10 Academy awards, winning best picture and triggering one of the most financially successful movie series in history. It cost Stallone $15,000 and a part in the movie for him to buy back his dog.
My own personal story was the same, my, desire, to become an American Citizen was a, burning desire. I had to have it and I didn’t take no for an answer. I applied 3 times for permanent residence and the third time which was an act of total bravery, the immigration officer said to me it looks like you really, desire, this benefit and gave it to me! I did really want this benefit. America was my promised land, the land of milk and honey, the land of generational increase!
When we use the word, desire, we could mean either one of 2 things the need for things, or the desire for sex, sexual desire.
Let’s take a deep dive into both of these types of, desire.
Starting with the, desire for things let’s look at the most common goal. The, desire for money, or riches. How do we transform our, desire for money, into its physical counterpart, money, in our hands
I just finished reading the book “Think and Grow Rich” for the 5th time and the author gives us 6 steps to alchemize your, desire for money, into money in your hand.
6 steps to alchemize your desire for money
Step # 1 Name your, desire – do you want a million dollars, do you want $50,000 dollars what is the amount of money you want? It can’t be general like, I want to be rich.
Step # 2 – Select a time frame you, got to have it, by. For example, I need a million dollars in my bank account by the time I am 65 years old.
Step # 3 – What are you going to do to get this money. What service are you going to give in exchange for this money. Most people that dream of a million dollars dream of winning the lottery. This is not a bad, people win the lottery every week, but that, desire, can’t be alchemized because you are not exchanging service for pay.
If you have ever gone on YouTube, you will see literally thousands of examples of this. Every Ad is about someone selling you a course on how they made millions, and they want to share the secrets and steps with you. That is what they are offering in exchange for money.
Step # 4 – Create a plan to get this money. Let’s say you decided you want to have a million dollars in your bank account by the time you are 65 years old, and you want to make this money by selling a course on how to start an online business. This is the stage to create the plan. How are you going to find your audience, once you define your audience, how are you going to get them to click your link to your squeeze page. How will you sell your course? Will you do a webinar or workshop? Create a plan to get this money.
Step # 5 – Write it down. A plan in your head does nothing to alchemize, desire. Writing it down gives it form. Thoughts are formless, a plan on paper starts the wheels turning to bring it from the formless to form. That is money in your hands.
Step -# 6 See yourself having your desire. See yourself with a million dollars in your bank account. How is your life different, what are your doing, who are you do it with? If you plan to retire at 65 see yourself relaxing, traveling the world or just sipping margaritas in your back yard with a view of the mountains.
These are the steps according to Napoleon Hill to alchemize your, desire for money.
The book talks about the day he woke up after 15 years of marriage and no longer had a, sexual desire, for his wife.
He goes through the, alchemy of desire, what makes you, desire, someone and what happens when you no longer, desire, them.
He said he was still madly in love with his wife, but his, desire, for her had died. A man needs, sexual desire, to make his body parts work. The body is the true engine of life. When a man loses, sexual desire, for a woman, when this happens women ask is it me? Is it something I did? Was it something I said? The answer is I don’t know.
We don’t know why we fall in love; we don’t know why we have, sexual desire, it just happens and when it goes away, we don’t know why. What we do know is that when sex leaves a marriage it is over.
Desire is energy. Behind every, goal, is the need to feel good! Everything you, desire, is because you think it will bring you some form of pleasure.
There are 7 major positive emotions. Desire heads up the list.
The seven positive emotions are:
1. Desire
2. Faith
3. Love
4. Sex
5. Enthusiasm
6. Romance
7. Hope
Positive emotions enable the, Law of Attraction, to bring you like thoughts. Here is the process that starts with the, energy of desire.
You, desire, something, then you package it with positive emotion. Thoughts are energy travelling at a high rate of vibration. Thoughts that have been modified or stepped up by any of the major, positive emotions, vibrate at a much higher rate than ordinary thought.
When you think of your, goal, package it with, positive emotions, and see yourself walking in those, positive emotions, like happiness, gratitude, success. And when you tell yourself you, got to have it, the universe says okay!
Conclusion
Thanks for spending time with me today. I appreciate your time. Tune in next week for another episode of, transformation Friday, with coach Myrna. Until next time Namaste
Failure, leaves clues so a coach can recognize your, failure symptoms. Most of us run on auto pilot. Science shows that 95% of humans operate on a subconscious level, and only 5% of us are aware and conscious of our daily actions. One of the reasons coaching is so successful is that it allows you to “know thyself” a little better by revealing your, blind spots, or areas of, unconscious patterns, including why we fail.
Most of us are unable to clearly state our abilities. We overestimate them, we underestimate them, we become complacent; we allow them to decay. Occasionally we are unaware that they exist. It is important you recognize your, failure symptoms
1: The most common cause of, failure, is to, blame, others. Don't blame me, Victims, have no power, when you, blame, others for your, failure in life, you are saying that you have no power.
It is said that the difference between witchcraft and medicine is that when a man falls sick, witchcraft makes him ask ” who did this to me” medicine makes him ask “what did this to me”.
When we, blame, others for our, failures, we do not recognize that no one has the power to make us fail, you must accept responsibility for your part and learn from it.
Do you Blame Yourself?
2: The second cause of, failure, is the tendency to, blame oneself. We tell ourselves things like “why was I such a fool, what an easy mark I am, why do I always put my foot in my mouth etc.” For example, your marriage fails and you, blame yourself, for choosing the man in the first place. You, blame yourself, for not recognizing the red flags.
How to stop self blame: – Instead of, blaming yourself, you should tell yourself that you did your best with the information you had at the time and that it takes 2 to make a marriage work. Blaming yourself plants deep feelings of inferiority and insecurity which will later strike up like weeds to dominate the garden of your mind. Excessive, self-blame, opens the door to guilt. Self-blame, also closes the door to, self-development.
How to set goals
3: The 3rd cause of, failure, has to do with, setting goals. Having no goals or having low goals. Dr William Menninger says “a fellow must know where he wants to go, if he is going to get anywhere.”
No goals are bad enough, but, low goals, are worse. Like, setting goals, to get the highest number on video games. That is an example of a, low goal.
Happiness is the pursuit of a goal or purpose, if you have, no goals, then you are a, failure.
How to set goals: choosing the wrong goal
4: The 4th common, cause of failure, is choosing the, wrong goal. Imagine that you have the, goal, to become a social worker, you graduated with your Bachelor’s Degree and your Master’s Degree and then worked for 20 years as a social worker; but you get to your 50’s and realize that what you really wanted to be was a politician and work for the citizens of your country to make policies than benefit all. After reaching the fifth nor 6th decade it is too late to turn back. That is why it is a good idea to understand your passions and listen to your heart early in life to determine the direction you should go.
Taking a short cut
5: The 5th, failure symptom, I want to leave you with today – is taking a, short cut.
An electric current will follow the line of least resistance; but a bulb glows because there is resistance.
Taking the short cut, many of us choose the shortest, easiest quickest way to success, only to discover that success was illusory; the bulb did not glow. No conquest can be achieved without hard work– no conquest can give true pleasure if it has not required hard work.
My grandmother would say there are, no short cuts in life, when you take the path of lease resistant you usually find yourself at the wrong destination and have to start all over.
https://youtu.be/UDZvuXqZDQ0
Conclusion
These are the 5 most common, causes of failure, if you become conscious of them then you can recognize them when they show up and make a better choice.
Never blame anyone for your life, you are in control.
Do not blame yourself, we were not given a manual at birth, we do as best as we can with the information we have.
Goal setting – Happiness is working towards a goal, set goals and work towards them.
Check in with yourself thorough out your life to see if you are getting any fulfillment from your career, so you won’t get to your 50’s and find out that you chose the wrong path.
Finally, don’t take the, short cut, they rarely get you there faster.
After competing for nearly four years as a professional golfer, he transitioned out of the world of golf into his new endeavors as coach.
Can you share your journey to becoming a professional golfer and how it marries to your life today as a coach, collaborator and podcaster. There must be a story in there why you actually give up golf, love to hear it.
Journey to self-mastery
My journey like everyone's life and path is a journey. Journeys take lots of time and usually involve lots of failure and mine is no doubt the same. I started playing golf when I was really young. My dad got me into it and I really enjoyed playing. I was a competitive kid so anything with competition in sports I was in.
In golf, there wasn't anyone else responsible for your successes. Your path to, self-mastery, depends on only you. I felt like I had the most control in my success. As I progressed it became clear it was something that I could really build. My focus kind of narrowed on golf in high school. I started dropping other sports so that I could really focus on golf. I ended up playing in college at Masters University in California. I worked on, self-mastery, for four years in college.
It was clear that I had the skills to be a professional golfer. So, I decided to give it a shot. In my senior year, I created the business plan and the structure around getting the financing to play professional golf. I got 10 to 11 sponsors and investors to back me. So, when I graduated, I was able to turn professional right away, upon leaving college in May of 2014. That kind of kicked off my four-year journey of playing professional golf.
Professional Golf teaches mastery
It takes a professional golfer about 10 years to get from, here to there, there being the PGA tour, and to self-mastery, the ultimate goal for every professional golfer. It's not an overnight thing. There're the people that you know, Tiger Woods, Jordan Spieth and Phil Mickelson and the 1% of the 1% the superstars. Everyone else it takes an average of 10 years to get from, here to there, and to, self-mastery,
My first year was a lot of failure, and a lot of learning. It was this process of development and, self-mastery, the process of learning how to develop and grow as a human very much at the same time.
As a golfer I started to learn to grow and improve and see some slow signs of growth and success. About two years into the journey after I've gotten partial status, I started to face a systemic injury which started in 2016. It was a muscle strain in my back. Many different factors combined and that kicked off about a year-and-a-half journey of failing to rehab correctly, failure of treating the symptom versus the injury. When I did reach the end of those first three and a half years, it became clear that my body wasn't 100 % healed.
But the bigger thing that happened was at my desires and giftings and abilities had kind of shown a different purpose. I felt more called to coach, so I made the decision this last December to transition out of Golf.
Finding true purpose
I truly believe what I'm doing now is my purpose. I believe that golf equipped me for my true purpose. I think that the journey of professional golf was a hyper-focused form of personal development and, self-mastery, because golf again is an arena where at the end of the day you have to take 100% ownership of your career, your life and your success because there's no one to blame but yourself if you don’t succeed.
There are no coaches, there's no teammates, there's no referee, there's no other external factors that you can blame for winning or losing. You have to take that ownership upon yourself. So, it really it forced me to leave no stone unturned in figuring out how to optimize and to, self-mastery, create the best form of myself as a competitor and as a golfer. You can't control outcomes, but you can control your preparation and, self-mastery, of the game.
I never planned on being at this place where I am now, as a speaker and a writer and entrepreneur. All these things manifested because I was faithful to do the best that I could. In golf I left no stone unturned, and it has equipped me for his work. If I hadn't been faithful to do that then I wouldn't be ready. Golf allowed me to get, from here to there, and to, self-mastery,
There's a really good book called “The talent code” by Daniel Coyle and he teaches whether you’re coaching soccer or teaching a child to play the piano, writing a novel or trying to improve your golf swing, this revolutionary book shows you how to grow talent by tapping into a newly discovered brain mechanism. He feels that just because you have the talent doesn't mean
it will be nurtured to the level of, self-mastery, its deep work and deep practice to really develop skill, competence and, self-mastery, in any field it's always a combination of nature and nurture.
I think the mindset of a professional athlete is one that is competitive but not just competitive it's also inspired. I think having clarity is really important as well. As an athlete you get objective feedback of win or lose, so you can figure out how to get, from here to there, and to, self- mastery, I think the same is true about having a vision. You have a goal you are striving for and you get feedback from whether you are successful or not.
What is your quarter life perspective on, self- mastery.
I give a lot of credit for this title to my grandpa. When I was writing this book, he was an influential voice in my head and life.
Keep Your, Vision, in Front of you – Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.
In OUT OF THE SNARES, MYRNA BERNADETTE TROTMAN shares her story of child abuse, poverty and her success as an entrepreneur. As a certified, Life Coach, she shares ten undeniable resources she used to help her achieve success and live the American Dream. This inspirational and motivational book will help you to reach your potential and achieve new levels of success in your life. Get these ten principles based on biblical principles and Universal Laws, deep down in your spirit and boldly go in the direction of your destiny:
Principle # 1. Keep Your Vision in Front of you –
Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.
Like a Blacksmith, you need to keep hitting the Anvil, pounding it daily, shaping your dreams
If you build it they will come
Don't let life's challenges knock you off course remember:
“Circumstances does not make the man, it reveals him to himself” ~ James Allen
Man is the Lord and Master of his thoughts and thus is the maker of himself.
In my book “Out of the Snares” I tell a compelling story of my, vision, of America as my promised land. My Land of milk and honey. I kept that, vision, in front of me and kept picking myself up after each failure believing that I would succeed, and I did.
A few weeks ago I was talking to a young leader, trying to upgrade his, vision casting, skills. I gave him four simple tips about communicating, vision.
1. CLARITY. Leaders, must create clarity by narrowing the focus when casting, vision. Everything that can be done in the name of God is not sign at all. It is a sign of undisciplined thinking. The leader’s job is to focus the organization on the core essentials. The more we focus on and clarify essentials, the easier it is to identify and eliminate non-essentials.
2. COMPELLING. Once your goals are clarified, it must be communicated in a way that is compelling. A, leader, who makes an unprepared sloppy presentation can make an otherwise exciting goals seem boring. Compelling, goals, produces action. Boring goals produces nothing.
3. COMMITMENT. Casting a clear and compelling, vision, without calling for commitment is a waste of everyone’s time. Real, leaders, are committed and they call others to commitment. Some leaders are hesitant to demand sacrificial commitment because they are not all-in themselves. Commitment is an example that leaders set, not a message they teach. Leadership commitment is contagious. So is leadership non-commitment.
4. COMMUNITY. Clear and compelling goals attracts committed people. As these people sacrifice for the common, community happens. Trying to create community for the sake of community creates unhealthy ingrown short-lived community. Doing goals together creates strong healthy long-term community.
SUMMARY. As a leader, you are the visionary for your church, ministry, or organization. If you communicate clear and compelling, if you model and call for commitment, you will end up with a strong healthy community. You will also accomplish your dreams.
You can, have it all. Is it possible to have a passionate marriage, a thriving career, a healthy beautiful body, more money that you ever dreamed of, and enough downtime to enjoy it without running yourself ragged.
Christy Whitman. is a Transformational Leader, Celebrity Coach and the New York Times Bestselling Author of “The Art of, Having It All” she has appeared on The Today Show and the Morning Show and her work has been featured in, People's Magazine, Seventeen, Women's Day, Hollywood Life, and Teen Vogue, among others Christy is also the CEO and founder of the, Quantum Success Learning Academy and Quantum Success Coaching Academy, a 12-month Law of Attraction program.
Christy has helped thousands of people worldwide to achieve their goals through her empowerment seminars, speeches and coaching sessions and products. Christy's life changing message reaches over 200,000 people per month and her work has been promoted by and featured with esteemed authors and luminaries such as Marianne Williamson, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Marci Shimoff, Brian Tracy, Neale Donald Walsch, Abraham-Hicks, and Louise Hay. She currently lives in Arizona with her husband, Frederic, and their two boys, Alexander and Maxim. You can meet her on the web at www.QuantumSuccessBook.com,
I read your bio and I'm thinking wow this woman is where I want to be. So we're going to start out by just asking you a kind of a background question you've accomplished quite a lot. Can you tell us your journey to this point in your career in life.
Searching for purpose
Well, I basically did everything that my parents told me, you know, Go get a degree, get a good job, put money in the Bank, have a nice fit body, find a guy! I had all that, and still I was just really really empty. I wasn't really happy. I was missing an essential part of myself. So I started going on a search for meaning.
I had this you know like when you're really thirsty for water that's how I felt spiritually. I felt like I just didn't know that there's wasn’t any real purpose or meaning in what I was doing. It seemed like the more money I made, it didn’t make me any happier. I went on this quest and really learned about meditation and learned about how our thoughts create our reality and learned about energy and how we are either attracting things to us or repelling things from us.
All these different philosophies started changing me, and I started changing my thoughts one by one and started shifting my energy and things literally just started shifting before my eyes. When I was searching at one point I was thirty pounds overweight, $60,000 in debt, I had just broken up with the latest bad guy, and I moved to California and I didn’t know anybody.
I Had quit my job also so I I had nothing going on in my life, when I found this information and it was amazing because within just a very few short weeks I got a great job, I was transferred to a different part of California, I found a really wonderful man, and I was in an eight-year relationship with, my body naturally went back to normal size.
Using the Law of attraction to have it all
Things were just flowing and easy, and what I was learning about was the universal laws that I now teach. I’ve shared my experiences of how I’ve created a great career, maintained my weight, and attracted an ideal partner. I've been coaching on, Law of Attraction, and, Universal Laws. Besides the, Law of Attraction, I just share my experiences and I share what I do, and what I learned and what I know not to do, and I just created an amazing business.
I'm serving people, and seeing people transform, and I feel passionate about it. Each and every day, back when I when I was in that space, I was making money, I was a pharmaceutical rep, but I didn't feel like I was on purpose. I didn't feel like what I was doing really had much meaning and so I started to really connect with the feeling of what would it feel like that if I did something and I was on purpose?
I didn't know what purpose looked like, but I started just allowing myself to feel that the essence of the purpose, of what it would just feel like. Even if I didn't know the how or the form or anything and then what happened with amazing. I had a book downloaded through me and that became my first book “Perfect Pictures.” I got it published and my family and friends all bought the book and it wasn't like they were the ones to read self-help books.
I started speaking at Spiritual Book Stores and Churches and while I was doing that, doing workshops on my book, I would take people through meditations and they started asking me to coach them. I had no idea back then, and we were talking you know 16 years ago, 17 years ago. I had no idea what Life Coaching was and most people didn't. I decided to just have people call me on the phone and started really appreciating their transformation. I'm grateful that my stuff it's universal and it helps every single person, no matter what circumstance or situation there going through. We can change all of it by knowing and applying these laws.
Tips for having it all
That's an awesome story I Absolutely love it. Dr Wayne Dyer says that that's how he's written all this books. He wakes up at 3.15 am in the morning and it's just downloaded. I just completed a series with the author of the Millennial’s Playbook to Adulting, Millennials do just that.
Whether it's their parents or a guidance counselor or somebody they find a job, they find the guy, and then they get married or something but it doesn't light them up it doesn't light them up because they’re going about it based on the jobs that's available or income or something along those lines. It's a great thing to teach because whenever you are on purpose and whenever something lights you up and whenever you follow the, Laws of the Universe, which most people don't know what they are, you find happiness.
Most people don't understand the, Laws of Attraction, and how thoughts work. That's the only way that you can design your life. I'm glad that we're going to be diving into that subject in our next episode; but today we want to talk about your book “The Art of, Having it All,” I'm jumping ahead of myself. Before we get in to that. I want to bring attention to the word you used to introduce your coaching program “Quantum Success.”
I love the word that you use to introduce your coaching program. I follow Deepak Chopra. He was my first mentor and when I wrote my first book which was called “Becoming Conscious, my Awakening” I talked about the Quantum and synchro destiny; but you're calling it, Quantum Success; so my follow-up question is “what do you feel is the blueprint to your coaching program and what is your definition of quantum success and, having it all, ?”
Using Quantum energy to have it all
I want to say I'm not a superwoman, I'm just an ordinary woman that has learned about universal laws and, having it all. Every single person listening have the power to create your life the way you want it. Quantum success, for me it was really about, I lived the first part of my life not, having it all, so far pushing, striving, setting goals, it was really when I found the knowledge, and the information on energy and that I understood, the energy that you hold while you're moving towards something is even more important than the inert action of the goal.
We're both physical and non-physical beings. If you're not doing that from a place of alignment then any momentum that you take is a waste of energy, it's a waste of time. You know a lot of times people are moving they're doing stuff and they're taking tons of action and it's eventually going to give them the success that they want; but they're going to hit a wall because if their thought process is different or their emotions on how they feel about themselves or even the way they think about themselves, the way they reflect on themselves, the way they judge and solve problems.
All of that stuff holds us back from really being able to allow the alignment and the flow of the, Quantum field, or what some call God, what some call Goddess. That consciousness that create whatever you want. When you start to bring in deliberately, having it all, the kind of energy that you want to experience, whether its success, or love, or abundance, or prosperity, or security.
Success is having it all
As long as you're doing it consistently, because everything is vibration. So when you do the action and take the action towards what you want to manifest and align your thoughts your emotions your perspective with succeeding, in that space of success. You imagine what would success look like? What does, having it all, look like? What would successful feel like?
If you had the career that you really wanted, that was firing on all cylinders what would that look like for you? I wrote in my last book “The Art of, Having It All,” It’s really about what does having it all look like to you. Is, Having it All, someone else’s definition? It's what lights you up that moves you forward. It's a life force that’s pulsating through you, that wants to become something more. It's up to us as, that non-physical part of that energy.
Cooperate with it instead of trying to cut it off and that's what most people do. Complaining and judging other people or they play like a victim. All those things are literally slicing up and siphoning off your life force energy, and it won't move you towards the desires that you want. We need to ask ourselves. How do I want to feel?
Then start to as much as you can, as often as you can, get in that feeling place. I mean the good thing is about the, Quantum field, is that this is a holographic universe and so any emotion that has ever been felt can be easily felt by you. Circumstances and situations don't have to happen. We have the capacity as human beings to visualize and to feel our way into things, and to change a thought and you know these are all things that we can do because the thoughts that we have are not real, so we have to direct our thoughts towards what we want and why we want it, to, having it all, and how we want to feel.
Your vortex holds your un-manifested desires
That is awesome, we are so in sync on the things. My next question we're going to be talking a little bit about Abraham Hicks; she talks about the, vortex, when I do my meditation that's what I say. Everything in my vortex will be eventually be available to me, if not immediately but eventually. It’s all about vibration. I was listening to podcast last week and the guest was saying we have Three superpowers, and one of the superpowers was imagination. He reminded me that anything we can imagine, we can create. Whether you're imagining what you want or what you're imagining what you don't want it's real and it's going to manifest.
A lot of people think our, vortex, is outside of ourselves; but the, vortex, is within us. The, vortex, is inside us, so it's not something we have to wait for. It's like we just have to get into alignment with it because it's already there. It's the Creator that pulses pulsates through us. I'm going to get into a discussion of energy for a second. Most people think I'm going to manifest something or, Law of Attraction; but thoughts always create some kind of emotional reaction.
It's really the emotions, so we're viewing something we see something like a tree we look at the tree and we just kind of have the stimulus, we perceive it without eyes and we enjoy it. So energy is flowing in and it's flowing out, it's just kind of like a stimulus we see the ocean it comes in and it comes out. Well when someone says something rude to us or says something hurtful, or maybe you get in car accident, or you lose a loved one, or your bill comes and you can't pay it or whatever it is.
Those moments in life cause us to constrict our energy and we create blocks around it. Those blocks also create a vortex of energy because energy has to continue to move, it goes out, or it goes up, because that is constantly moving, it's never ending. So if energy come through and instead of feeling an emotion, like how that person hurt us or that person was rude or that person made us angry, we constrict the energy.
That creates a block and then that creates a vortex, that vortex is active, it's alive. That's the, vortex, that creates a thought and then the thoughts create a belief. It then creates some kind of physical manifestation of it and then we go, see it's true. You say No matter what I do, I can't seem to get ahead. Men are always cheating on me. We have to be careful and aware of where we're getting energetically charged and start to release those blocks, so that we can get back in that free flow again of feeling the love and the alignment.
The Art of having it all
I do the work, I want to be, having it all, I don't only coach; but I do a lot of mind work because I'm aware at that everything starts in the mind, which is why I call this podcast “The Transform your Mind” because everything starts there. But I loved about the, quantum field, as it relates to success. I actually never thought about it that way until you mentioned it; but you said if you want to move towards something because that's the, quantum field, that's energy that's moving and you have to be an alignment to that goal.
If you I want to red Mercedes but then immediately you say well I can never afford it, that's what you’re talking about, as far as you're not moving in alignment. I Actually absolutely love putting it all together. If you want success you've got to hold what you want in front of you so that you can be strategically moving towards it and also be aware of the energy that you're talking about. If you've got stuck energy, you've got blocked energy or you you're feeling bad then you're actually blocking your flow.
So, the next question I Want to ask you is about the luminaries and thought leaders that you mentioned in your bio. I love them all I didn't know much about Marianne Wilkinson, but I love Dr Wayne Dyer, I'm listening to two of his audio books right now. One is on Balance which is almost the same thing we're talking about today.
I have a Neale Donald Walsch book in my library “Conversations with God” It was one of the best books I have read. I studied that book. And Abraham Hicks, love her. There's was a point in time that I meditated with her every morning. I Picked those three because those are the ones that I know. So what are some of the lessons that you've learned from these luminaries as it you know as it relates to our topic today? Having it all, and, Quantum Success?
I heard of Wayne Dyer probably about 20 years ago. My therapist at the time she was a spiritual psychotherapists, she brought in the spiritual approach, she would hand me CDs, actually back then it was cassette tapes of Wayne Dyer and Marianne Williamson, and so they were my first two early teachers.
There are only 2 emotions love and fear
I really liked the perspective that Marianne talks about because she would talk about the Course In Miracles and how there's really only two emotions, either love or fear; so that really helped me start to connect with the energy and paying attention between, high vibration, or, low vibration, and then of course Wayne Dyer was huge for me in the whole getting in the perspective of my thoughts.
During that time that's when I was learning that your thoughts create your reality and so I was learning that not all thoughts are real and that we have places where as normal human beings we typically automatically think in these ways and for me it was like wow okay, so I'm normal right and yet I have to change these if I want to continue to change my life.
His work has always just been really touched my soul and in the time that I've been able to meet him and you know it just he really is one of those people that really was because he's passed on, but he really walks his talk. He truly was a lightworker and I could feel that it around him and it was there was an authenticity that and of what he taught and how he lived so that's what I learned about and appreciate him.
He was a very humble man and he never felt better than other people and he really had taught me a lot about ego and in keeping the ego in check and in that sort of thing. The Power of Intention, I mean that's an incredible book. I've been following Abraham Hicks Probably around the equal amount of time around 20 years and I was given a cassette from a little group that I was in in Redding California and I listened to them and you know listening test or channel Abraham and it was like whoa this is really strange and weird and yet I felt good listening to it, not only the words this used but the vibration that I felt.
As a pharmaceutical rep I had a big area in California, I would drive around with a cassette recorder on my passenger seat with all these different cassettes. I was really a tuning into a different perspective, I always write whether you know you buy someone's book and you read the book while you're just going to bed at night or you're driving around the car and you listen to a podcast that bless you or you know some kind of media where you're getting a different perspective than what most people think and how most people think because that's going to help you change your perspective. If you're inundated with the news and you know things like that and around a lot of people that are negative it's very hard to get out of that space unless you do something deliberately.
Saying yes to having it all
We're going to get in it to our topic today which is, “Having it All”, or “The, Art of, Having It All” so let me give you a little bit about you know the more a little tidbit that I picked up from you know reading the synopsis of the book. Christy in your book you ask “ ?” You ask the question like a lawyer asks the question a rhetorical question that we know the answer and your answer was a resounding “YES”
Absolutely exactly right. In the, Art of Having it all, you shared precise steps you took to create radical turn arounds in the midst of potentially devastating real-life situations. Freeing yourself of nearly $90,000 of unwanted debt, 30 extra pounds, navigating the turbulent waters of divorce, and this last two are really hard for most people, the grief of your sister's suicide, and the life-threatening illness of your newborn son.
As I read that I get goose bumps on it because you know that's a lot of stuff to have to deal with and I know we've touched on the energy and most of this beforehand as we talked in your bio, and some of the questions to answered already; but can you tag on to anything that you haven't talked about. What advice you'd give out listeners who are going through, as we call it the wilderness of the storm, in their lives right now.
Absolutely all of those things that you mentioned all of them, I got through and grew from them and had them turn out even better than I could have even imagined, because of the fact that I knew about the Universal Laws and that I knew about lack and energy and Lack in abundance and, I knew about emotions and all that. I knew that I needed to focus on my perspective on, having it all, my sons, my marriage, so just even in the case of my son Maxim, when he was 2 months of age he was rushed to the hospital and he had to have open-heart surgery as a tiny little baby.
Crazy, the miracles that were around that are just like the story is incredible. Typically babies that have a transposition of the arteries are usually found in the mother's womb, they see it in the ultrasound and then they do a heart surgery on them, probably one to two days of life, two days of the latest. If they don't catch it, it's usually within you know the first week and if it's not caught within the first week babies usually die in the crib if it's not detected. Wow!
Yeah, he was two months of age and the only thing that kept him alive is he had a little hole between both of his arteries and the valve that closes when a baby typically has their first few breaths, his didn't close so he was barely breathing which we didn't realize; but he if they did ever did this type of surgery on the baby this old so it was just the fact that he was just there and he was wanting to be there.
It's like, I knew that he was going to be fine and so I went I Told my husband I'm like okay listen we can't have anybody else's negative energy we can't have fear we can't have any of this around the situation. The only visual I'm going to hold taking Maxim home with his brother Alex, And the three of you wrestling and growing up and taking vacations and taking them to Disneyland and taking him camping and you know just like all these visions absolutely.
All these different watching and play baseball and so that was the only vision. Our family was freaking out and scared, of course we had to process our own emotions because it was an emotional roller coaster; whenever we were around him we didn't let in any fear energy. We would clear ourselves before we would walk in the hospital to see him and very selective of who we let around him and stuff and we did that because it's like we just wanted to keep in the positive space we wanted to keep in that energy flow of all good things and any possibility of negativity or fear or any lower-level emotions we wanted to keep it out of the creation; because it was it was imperative.
I'm happy to say that he's now seven-year-old boy, he's been cleared for years. He's got a perfect heart. I mean the surgery that they did was two months is like growing with him it's amazing yeah just the coolest kid and you know and just very grateful I mean just amazing and you know so it's that alone you know we would sit there and deliberately write down like okay what are the positive aspects about the situation nothing will go my God your child almost died is in the hospital ICU.
How could you even look for a positive in that situation? Well for me, we had to because we had to keep our vibration high, so I would write out, how I'm grateful how I was at the best Children's Hospital in all of North America, I was grateful that we were close to home and that we had family to take care of our son Alex during the day so we could be with Maxim. Grateful that all the nurses loved him and just all the positive aspects nothing but.
It's a universal law if you're in lack and limitation you cannot create abundance from that place and so you have to get into it's the law of sufficiency and abundance, you have to get into the place of being at peace, feeling that it's sufficient, it's good enough. You don't have to be over the moon excited about it, but at least coming from that place of appreciation and gratitude looking for what's right and good and stuff what's wrong and bad and when you do that your life will continue to change contrast will show up it shows up for every single person but it's how what you do with the contrast when it happens whether it's really extreme or it's minor you know some people get really reactive and how big emotional reactions over very small things and then when things come they're just like oh my God you know so we have to know how to manage our energy.
I'm Going to redress something, I experienced suicide in my family myself. My daughter was engaged to be married, she was planning her wedding and her fiancé, shot himself and committed suicide and like you I'm a very positive person, I wouldn't say that I know how to work energy like you are because you're an expert on that, but in my life I've had a lot of challenges and you know you say that you can look at your book of wars and in my book of wars told me that almost every challenge that I faced, had a positive outcome just like you can you can see now but your son when that incident happened; but for the life of me I couldn't find the positive in that, suicide.
Now I think I'd go back in and I and I think that the positive maybe, like my pastor talked yesterday that sometimes God breaks you so that he can fit you in for your purpose. I think that my daughter came out of that situation a stronger person but at the time I couldn't find the positive, so how did you find the positive energy in your sister’s suicide? There's a lot of suicides going on right now so maybe someone is listening that can benefit from some advice on how to deal with someone close to you committing, suicide?
Dealing with suicide
This is a great question. For me I remember just feeling that I have to make a decision for myself because she chose what she chose and we can't control what other people choose, it was her life it was her decision even Abraham Hicks says that every death is really a suicide. Anyways when someone takes their own life we make it mean so much and it is shocking and it is traumatic, it's not like someone gets a disease and they get degenerative because of that and then they pass, this is something that's horrible, taking that away either but when someone abruptly ends their life in such a dramatic way it is very traumatic on everybody around them.
I would look at my sister it's like okay she chose what she chose what do I get to choose from my life? Then I started asking myself those questions. What do I want for my life? Why do I want these things? How am I going to want to feel? Really start to feel that way; but during the process I will tell you I allowed myself to feel my feelings, when I felt angry at the situation at her and anything I've processed my anger. I didn't go and beat anybody up.
I mean there's a proprietary process, anger right it's not raging it's not hurting another person but I would feel my anger. I would yell into a pillow, there's things you can do that are constructive for you that and as long as you're feeling the energy of those emotions and you're not bottling move it and I what you're saying yes yeah If I needed to cry, I would cry. I gave myself permission to cry whenever I Felt like. I needed to cry, I would excuse myself and I will go cry.
Conclusion
Christy I Want to thank you so much for being an awesome guest. Our conversation today on, having it all, was very inspirational and like I said I learned a lot from you. Looking forward to our next talk, we are going to dive a little deeper into “How to use the 7 essential Laws of Attraction to create a thriving joyful and prosperous relationship with your work and money.” I Want to thank everyone for tuning in today to on the radio at www.wdjyfm.com in Metro Atlanta. This podcast is distributed to iTunes, TuneIn radio, Stitcher, Google play and now also on iHeart radio. I would love everyone who’s listening to subscribe so that the podcast can rank higher on iTunes and more people like you can listen to awesome messages like the one we have today. so Christy Until next time Namaste
The best, sales people, and most effective, sales people, are naturals. They are, extroverts, who love people, have sunny positive personalities and are highly ethical.
“I determine to render more and better service, each day, than I am being paid to render. Those that reach the top are the ones who are not content with doing only what is required of them.”
― Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman In The World
Here are seven other traits you should look for when interviewing for your sales team.
1: They fish instead of hunt
A hunter stalks his prey and then attacks. He tries to make one shot for the kill; if he misses, then he tries to find another prey and takes aim again.
A fisher man on the other hand first understands the fish he is trying to catch. In choosing a pond or lake, he knows what kinds of fish are in the pond, what kind of bait they usually bite on and when they are most likely to bite.
In the world of, sales, the hunter is the transaction seller who sells on price and usually has only one shot.
The salesperson who is a fisher man on the other hand, takes the time to learn about his customer. He understands how his product solves the problem of the customer and instead of shooting to kill; he dangles the correct bait by offering a solution and builds a relationship with the customer, before he tries to close the sale.
“Obstacles are necessary for success because in selling, as in all careers of importance, victory comes only after many struggles and countless defeats. Yet each struggle, each defeat, sharpens your skills and strengths, your courage and your endurance, your ability and your confidence and thus each obstacle is a comrade-in-arms forcing you to become better… or quit. Each rebuff is an opportunity to move forward; turn away from them, avoid them, and you throw away your future.”
― Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman In The World
2: They know when to speak and when to listen
Inexperienced, sales people, think they can win sales by over-talking their prospects. The best, sales people, use discretion and carefully crafted questions to get a prospect to close. Once they have delivered the pitch, they know to shut up and listen.
3: They work closely with their support staff
Closing a large customer sometimes require your solution experts. Great sales persons know when to bring in their support staff to add value to the customer.
Inexperienced, sales people, try to do everything by themselves and usually loose the sale.
4: They practice continuous learning
Great, sales people, not only learn everything about their product; but they also learn everything about their competitor’s product.
For example: Let’s say you are trying to decide between a Toyota Camry and the Honda Accord as your next vehicle. You are at the Toyota dealership and your salesperson not only tells you why the Toyota Camry is the right car for you based on the needs he uncovered during his fact finding segment of the sale; but he also tells you the all the features of the Honda Accord and why it may not be the best fit for you. He knows his product!
5: Highly Effective Salespeople love their job
Most, sales people, actually hate sales and selling. The most effective, sales people, actually enjoy it. They get up every day excited about the product and the prospects. They love the high of the win and the excitement and challenge of influencing their customers.
For these few, the high compensation is an added bonus like icing on the cake, of getting to do what they love.
6: They are self-motivated and self-directed
Companies spend a ton of money on sales managers who mostly focus on whip-cracking the bottom performers.
Great, sales people, don't need micro managing; they are internally motivated to being the best and set their own growth goals.
7: They are honest and ethical
Highly effective, sales people, never over promise and under deliver; they never lie to get a sale. They know that trust of the sales person and the company is essential to a long term relationship with the customer.
They understand the principle that the short term gain of getting a sale on false pretenses equals long term pain.
How can the, Law of Attraction for couples, help you to thrive at home and at work? NYT best selling author Christy Whitman talks about thriving in your relationships this week on the “Transform your Mind with Coach Myrna” podcast.
Christy is the author of “Quantum Success 7 essential laws, for a thriving joyful and prosperous relationship with your work and money”
Before we get started, I want to give a shout out to our sponsor for today's episode. Our sponsor today is T.Y Waterproofing serving the Atlanta area. T.Y Waterproofing has over 30 years’ experience in waterproofing and basement repairs. Let T.Y Waterproofing, waterproof your crawl spaces, slabs, remove and kill mold, install all sump pumps, and French drains. Call Timothy at 404-449-5467 for a free estimate.
Christie Whitman is a Transformational Leader, Celebrity coach, New York Times bestselling author twice, one for “The Art of Having it All” and the second for “Taming your Alpha Bitch” I love that title! Christy has appeared on The Today Show, the Morning Show, and her works have been featured in People's magazine, Seventeen, Women's Day, Hollywood Life, and Teen Vogue among others.
Christie is the CEO and founder of the Quantum Success Learning Academy and Quantum Success Coaching Academy a 12-month, Law of Attraction, coaching certificate program. Christie has helped thousands of people through her empowerment seminars, speeches and coaching sessions, and products.
Christi's life-changing message reached over 200,000 people a month, and her work has been promoted by and featured with esteem authors and luminaries such as Marianne Williamson, Dr. Dwayne Dwyer, Marci Shimoff,Brian Tracy, Neil Donald Walsh, Abram Hicks, and Louise Hay. She currently lives in Arizona with her husband Frederic and there are two boys Alexander and Maxim.
Christy's Journey as a Law of Attraction for Couples Coach
Myrna – That’s was a very impressive Bio. I loved reading it. As a, life coaching podcast, I am always interested in my listeners learning life skills from my guests stories. You've done a lot, you're quite accomplished. Can you give us a little bit of your backstory? Tell us your journey to becoming a successful, Law of Attraction for couples, leader and, quantum success, coach .
Christy – Sure, I always had the drive to be successful, and worked with the, law of attraction, back in day about 20 years ago, before I found the other universal laws, I did what it took to take action. I had perseverance. I went after the things that I wanted. I was able to focus, using the, law of attraction for couples, but whenever I got there, I never felt satisfied.
Using the Law of Attraction for Couples to Bring you Happiness
I never felt happy, never felt like it was enough. So no matter what I accomplished, it just didn't good. When I actually accomplished something great, it actually would feel the opposite. I remember almost feeling let down, like okay well I was supposed to have this epiphany. I was supposed to have this, amazing feeling. I would never find that feeling of satisfaction.
When I learned more about, the law of attraction for couples, about 21 years ago, I really learned about how your thoughts create your reality. I had already been successful and I had a great career going. I was making money and yet, just wasn't satisfied. I just felt like all the things that I was told would make me happy it wasn't working and I was starting to think like what's wrong with me.
I thought if I had money, if I had the career, if I had a boyfriend, if I had this great body, look a certain way, then I would be happy, and none of the outer things were doing it for me. It was when I found a sense of myself, through meditation on the, law of attraction for couples, and through really returning to myself, stopped focusing outward on everything and everyone outside of me, a healthy selfish me.
I found I was coming back to myself. I started paying attention to the thoughts that I was thinking, that was activating, the law of attraction for couples, and how I was feeling and what I really came to understand, what my body of work really has been now, is that I have to be very mindful of that no matter what situation we're in, we can always find peace.
How to Have it All using the, Law of Attraction
How the Law of Polarity interacts with the Law of Attraction
The law of Polarity, there's a lot of things to appreciate and be grateful for. That's what my bodywork has been. My whole training for last 21 years has been really sensing within myself where I am. Thinking thoughts of lack and limitation, where I comparing myself to other people. I look at other people and go oh my GOD, there's so much more successful than me and then start feeling bad about myself and feeling like what I've accomplished is not enough.
Or do I compare myself to what other people are making? Or what impacts are my thought having? Those are times to check myself, look for what's right and good about my life and about my family and everything in my life versus what's wrong and bad.
These are a different training and a different mindset to come from a perspective of abundance instead of lack and limitation, and that's really where my internal work has been. Each time I shift up belief, a thought, a perspective from lack and limitation to one of abundance, my life just expands and explodes.
So those are the principles that I write about in my new book, Quantum Success, is that we're all searching for some type of success, and the accolades. You know what society says is this is accomplished, then you'll feel successful and a lot of people get there, and they feel empty, they feel like that it doesn't have much meaning in their lives or they're not feeling satisfied or fulfilled.
The truth is that as long as we're chasing things outside of ourselves we're always projecting our happiness or our fulfillment outside of ourselves. Fulfillment is never outside of ourselves, it's within ourselves and it's in the present moment. where all of our power exists.
How does The Law of Attraction for Couples Help in Relationships
Myrna – My first question is How does understanding your belief system help women and men who are functioning at high levels in their career or own their own business, but they're still struggling to find contentment or happiness? How does understanding the, law of attraction for couples, help? How does understanding, quantum success, principles help in relationships?
Christy – Our beliefs are one of the ways that we create. I mean when you think about it, when we have a belief and there is such a conviction that this is so, that this is the way it is, we will create that's what we are expecting to receive. It's what we are expecting life to give us. We can't create outside of our beliefs. If we believe that something good is going to happen, we then create something good.
There's an underlying belief that what we are creating we the deserve. We're not deserving or whatever it is; but we are always creating attracting things from the beliefs that we hold and here's the good news. If we look at our lives and we're not satisfied, we need to shift what we're not satisfied about. Look at what the contrast is in our life, what we don't want and allow that to be the springboard for what we do want.
I always ask myself when I'm finding a situation or circumstance happening in my life, I always ask myself what would I have to believe in order to create this? How does understanding the, law of attraction, facilitate my knowledge?
How Journaling helps Relationships
It's an empowering question. I recommend even journaling about it because a lot of times if you sit there and if you haven't done this practice before, you will not come up with an answer. I would take 10 mins with paper and I would journal. In order to create this situation what would I have to believe? What would I have to think? What would I have to be feeling in order to attract this?
You become more self-aware. I mean it's really the process of self-awareness and when we can slow down enough to pay attention to ourselves, that is the richest thing that we can do. Not only are we connecting with ourselves, which most of us don't do these days we're so busy with so much going on our lives, we need to take the time to slow down and connect with our own self, to know ourselves, to know what you believe about this and that. Beliefs are not either right or wrong. This is a, life coaching podcast, so I will answer with life coaching tips.
I love when you said that most people are not conscious. As a Guyanese, I want this to also be a, Guyana podcast, Most people including Guyanese people, do not understand the, law of attraction, You use the word self-awareness which is another term for consciousness. I've spent a lot of time with that word in meditation and being aware. I live in higher consciousness, personal development, yet at my level right now, I will not be able to look at a situation and figure out how I created it.
I'm not there yet, but I'm in the less than 1% of the world that actually are working on self-awareness, consciousness and, personal development, As a, life coaching podcast, I teach my clients basically that whatever they want, they can create. It starts with their thoughts and starts with their belief system. You and I are both, personal development, coaches and one of the first things I do in my coaching sessions, the first couple of weeks is basically we talk about beliefs and we look back at past behaviors. You can actually figure out what you believe from how you have navigated situations in your past.
The Law of Attraction for Couples and the Universal Laws
What exactly is the, Law of Attraction, and why is it important to know the universal laws and, quantum success? The, Law of Attraction for couples, for me when I learned about it completely changed my life and the reason that they completely changed my life or that my life completely changed is because they're for me like knowing the rules of the game or knowing the recipe to a really good cake or you know the plans to build a house.
I always say how successful would you be if you were going to go play baseball and you never saw the game before? You never knew how it was played? You don't know what the rules are. Someone hands you a bat and says okay hit the ball. You can’t play the game if you don’t understand the rules of the game. What to do when you hit the ball? How can you get thrown out etc.
Life is similar, you have to learn the rules of the game, you have to learn the playbook. The first step is about learning these, essential universal laws and the, law of attraction, and applying them so that you become the deliberate creator of your life instead of being a victim of circumstances. There's always going to be some kind of circumstance or situation or event or person that shapes our experiences.
It's what we do with those experiences the perspectives that we hold, that will determine what we continue to attract in our lives. So the more you learn about these, essential laws of the universe and, the law of attraction. Knowing these universal laws is knowing the rules of the game.
The Seven Universal Laws
I try to make myself a million dollars by working with the, law of attraction, and the seven essential universal laws. We live in a vibratory universe, our universe is all about vibration. Modern science and quantum physics have now proven that everything from a human being to a rock is full of energy. Everything is energy, our thoughts our feelings, what we say, what we do, everything is coming out of us like an energy tower and we as an individual person are sending out energy signals all day every day.
The, Law of Attraction, is just matching those signals that we send out, and giving us more of the same. Now it's not a tit-for-tat kind of thing, it's not like oh I told someone they were a jerk and now someone's going to call me on a jerk. It's not like that literal, but if you're sending out negative vibes you could be in traffic and someone could cut you off and you're experiencing road rage, that negativity for example that wave of negativity will then cast out a returning wave of negativity to you.
So we have to be mindful about the energy that we are sending out. The thoughts that we think, the language we use. We don't feel good when we're sending bad vibes out, so using feelings helps makes for better choices.
For example, language like I choose not to put up with this marriage anymore. I choose not to be treated like that anymore. I choose not to waste my money or spend my money on this right now. Those are more empowering ways and languages that we can use that actually do make a difference in what we attract. The, Law of Attraction for couples, is really a mirror reflection. I like to think of it as a boomerang, it's like what you're sending out it's coming back to you.
The most important law from the seven essential laws of the universe, I believe is the, Law of Sufficiency and Abundance. This law states that everything in the universe is abundant. Most of us are experiencing abundance of lack or pain or suffering, but the universe is always going to give us an abundance.
If you look at nature and look at trees you can't say we can't possibly count the amount of leaves that are on a tree or how many waves crash up again against the shore in the ocean, or count the raindrops that are coming down from the sky. The universe has always functioned in abundance, and to get what you want from the law is called sufficiency and abundance, it's being in a satisfied place.
It's coming from sufficiency. You get there by appreciating and looking for the good. In your life right now, in any situation, I don't care what it is you can find the good things about it. The law of Polarity says that every subject is really two subjects, it's the halving of it, or the not having of it. It's the lack of it or the abundance of it, and when we can deliberately choose how we want to focus, what we want to believe, what we want to appreciate, or not.
How Gratitude engages the Law of Attraction for Couples
Were the ones in charge of which area, what side of the spectrum, we want to be on any given subject, but the doorway into abundance is sufficiency. You start by practicing gratitude. I first started doing gratitude meditation, I would literally walk around and think of a hundred things a day, listing all of the things that I was grateful for and that would raise my vibration, it would make me feel so good and things started, almost like magic, would start being attracted into my life.
Another thing you can do is think about one thing you're grateful for and think of 20 things or reasons why and it's not lip service, it's not like I'm grateful for my husband and I'm grateful my kids, there's no energy behind that, there's no pain, you have to feel the emotion. Doesn't work unless you feel. That's why affirmations work for some people, and they don't work for other people because people are like I'm abundant, but there's no energy.
The other Universal Laws
These are seven essential laws of The Universe:
• The Law of Attraction,
• The Law of Allowing,
• The Law of Pure Potentiality ,
• The law of Oneness,
• The Law of Balance and Harmony,
• The Law of Sufficiency and Abundance,
•
These universal laws, when you apply them and learn how to work with them, they will absolutely change your life.
The Universe sends human beings countless signs and symbols over the course of their lives, and if you are able to comprehend them, you’ll be able to sense when you’re on your destined path in life—and when you’re not. Please read the list below to make sure you haven’t missed any vital info, and to ensure that you’re on the right journey.
Here are 13 signs The, Law of Attraction, is working for you https://ewao.com/2017/10/24/13-signs-the-law-of-attraction-is-working-for-you/
I love the Law of Sufficiency and Abundance. Deepak Chopra used to say we are just like a wave in the ocean, that the universe is abundant. We're not going to run out of water, we’re not going to run out of grass, sunlight. I've used this Law, let's say that you want a promotion and your friend gets it.
You're jealous and you're envious, that is a blockage because it means that you believe that is universe does not have enough for the both of you. if you say I'm happy for my friend, because this world is abundant and she's not taking my job, there's more available for me, and you're happy and you celebrate that person's success, what that’s saying is that you believe that the world is abundant.
You believe that whatever God can do for her, he is going to do for you, and that's where a lot of people don't get it. They're always envious and they're always catty and they're jealous and they can't celebrate your success. Abraham talks about this. She talks about contrast, she says go out there and look for contrast, look for things that you don't have and say that's what I want and be happy for that person. But most people don't live there. The do not understand the, the essential laws of attraction.
We’ve been talking about the, law of attraction, the playbook, personal development, quantum success, and making this a Guyana podcast, for my people.
Be aware of fear and desire. Awareness helps balance them ~ Deepak Chopra
To get a FREE copy of Christy’s book, Head over to iTunes snd leave a review for the Transform Your Mind with coach Myrna podcast, then head over to www.quantumsuccessbook.com and Kristy will send you her new book when it comes out in September for free. All you do is pay for shipping. Kristy will be back for one more episode.
Our topic will be “How to reverse the negative momentum in your career.” So remember to subscribe and you will not miss any new episodes. If you are from Guyana, I hope you enjoyed this, Law of Attraction podcast, leave me a shout out in the comments.
Sometimes being an, open communicator, vs a closed off communicator gets you out of bad situations like in a relationship. In every area of life, there is no reward if there is no risk taken.
This week on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast with Coach Myrna Young, I interview Leadership Coach and Trainer, Gail Green.
Gail teaches us How to Become an, open Communicator. Gail is the founder of GoGreen Learning.
To receive her Free Gift of 3 Go Cards send her an email from her web site www.gogreenlearning.com
Here is a brief Biography of Gail Green.
•Gail is a leadership coach and trainer and her topic today is “How to find out if you are an, open vs closed communicator, as well as an, open communicator in the workplace. Gail is a leader who connects individuals and teams to their truth, helping them to discover their full expression of courage, joy and fulfillment. Gail works with all sizes of companies, as well as individually with leaders, and do life coaching with individuals from all walks of life.
Gail’s primary work is in leadership development, teambuilding, stress management and all forms of, open and honest communication.
Who is a Closed Communicator?
Why is being a, closed communicator, bad?
As a, closed communicator:
you become defensive,
resistant,
bitchy,
moody,
easy to anger,
confrontational,
and not open to feedback.
So as a Leader, it is important to be an, open communicator, to your team and employees.
Open people radiate outwards from their heart and is able to touch others.
If you want to impact your employees and your customers, then learn how to be open.
Listen to the podcast as Gail teaches us how to be an, Open vs Closed communicator, with the help of her Go Cards.
Brian Tracy The author of “Eat that Frog” also teaches How to become an, Open Communicator, as a Leader and achieve new levels of success in sales.
Click the link below to find out how.
Are You also Closed Off in your personal relationships And Don’t Even Know It?
Here are a few questions to find out if you are an, open communicator.
How Would you answer the following questions?
Are you emotionally guarded?
Are you willing to take risks?
If you answered yes to these questions, it could mean that you are closed off emotionally.
Sometimes being emotionally guarded gets you into bad situations; but most of the time it gets you nowhere. In every area of life, there is no reward if there is no risk taken. So that could be why you keep finding yourself in relationships that bore you, or in relationship with other emotionally closed off individuals. Because like attracts like. Those relationships aren’t very rewarding, are they?
Open and honest communication, is the best way to be in relationships at home and workplace. If you don’t take the risk by becoming an, open communicator, and putting your true self and your true feelings on the table, those are the types of relationships that you will attract.
Your emotionally open friends who love being, open communicators, will get those giddy, best-friends-lovers, movie-type romances; you will get the dead-end ones. Maybe you’ve never had your heart broken, and maybe you think that’s a perk. But it’s not. It is said that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all! So, I will ask the question. Are you closed off communicator and don’t even realize it?
Here is an article from Madame Enoire that asks 10 more ways to tell if you are closed off personally.
Here are 10 ways to tell if you an, open communicator, or closed off
Do you feel like first dates are interrogations, and are put off by the line of questioning you receive during them?
Does it feel very inappropriate to you whenever someone becomes emotional around you?
Do your friends share their romantic stories with you? Or do they feel that you are never happy for them so they don’t share?
Do you attract cocky guys?
You do a lot of Googling before first dates.
You prep your friends to meet a guy.
Sex is a competition.
You’ve never cried to a partner or shown your venerability.
Eye contact makes you very uncomfortable
You’re very sarcastic
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