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Understanding Personalities: Which Archetype Drives You

January 24, 2024 Myrna Young Leave a comment

Your Life Theme and, personalities, shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes and the, 16 personalities types, that can compose your identity.

Introduction

John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman. He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill. That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, 16 personalities types, controls our communication.

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He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are. That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions. Decisions like, I know I like this or I don't like that.

How to identify our 16 Personalities.

John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn't mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale. That is how you read people.

Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun. I want to appease the, personalities, so when I walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down. I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.

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How does Objects identity their personalities?

Our, personality, as our way of expression. Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization. The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.

Myrna: I'm thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I'm thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.

True, but I look at what do you like to do for fun? What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?” I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are. I am able to identify one of your, 16 personalities types, from this test.

Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You

Your Life Theme offers the, personality, framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.

You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or “Life Themes.”

These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.

These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.

These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.

While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.

They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.

Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.

The Myers-Briggs Personalities Type Indicator

An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.

According to, Myers-Briggs, theory of, personality types, people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:

Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:

Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:

Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)

The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:

Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)

The 16 personalities types

The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.

The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.

The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.

The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.

All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:

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The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personalities types:

The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.

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As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.

What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.

All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:

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Additional Resources, Personalities.

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-secret-to-living-the-life-of-your-dreams/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-disable-your-autopilot-brain/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_and_Type_B_personality_theory

Authentic Identity Assessment

What Are the 12 Archetypes and Which One Dominates Your Personality

blog, business, Entrepreneur, Executive Coaching, financial freedom, Life Coaching, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, small business, wealth mindset

How to Build Wealth By Clearing Money Blocks

January 12, 2024 Myrna Young Leave a comment

How to build wealth, by clearing your money blocks. Money blocks are negative subconscious beliefs about, money, that limit you from achieving your conscious desires. Hilary Hendershott, wealth coach talks today on the Transform Your Mind Radio and Podcast on the topic “How to build wealth, by remove your, money blocks.” Hilary was once $600,000 in depth and now has a seven figure net worth.

Listen to the full interview here:

Hilary – I found myself in my late 20s with multiple credit cards and tens of thousands of credit card debt, plus I had a $420,000 in mortgage debt on a condo. In 2008 that condo in San Jose California went from $430,000 in appraised value to just $190,000. I had massive uncollateralized debt, $72,000 in tuition debt and I was the kind of person who would spend money before it came in! I was a massive over spender.

Back then I had never heard the term, Money Blocks. Today as a coach and operating from my own, money blocks, I understand that I was an over spender because I had, money blocks.

The definition of, Money Blocks

The definition money blocks: negative subconscious beliefs about, money, that limit you from achieving your conscious desires. Let's say you're trying to save, money, but, for whatever reason, you can't seem to do it. You spend, money, almost as soon as you get it, and you don't know why.

Hilary – I started gaining clarity on my, money blocks, the day I pulled my leased BMW into the gas station and I put my credit card into the machine to get gas, and my credit card was declined. I tried another card, it was declined, I put the third card it was also declined. At that point, all my credit cards are maxed out and no one would give me any more credit cards.

My bank accounts were empty and had already emptied out my 401k. I had spent all this good money chasing after bad while trying to dig myself out of this hole; because as my income was declining in 2008, and my debt was increasing. So I literally couldn't even put a tank of gas in my beautiful convertible BMW that day.

How I became an expert on clearing, money blocks

Hilary – I decided to become an expert on, money, psychology. I really made a decision that day and I said “I‘m not willing to live like this anymore”. I understood, how to build wealth, from the beginning. I understood that our, money blocks, are as much a function of linguistics, the words that we use to describe, money, than it is about our upbringing.

So, when I said “there's never enough money” I was speaking it into the atmosphere. That became a self fulfilling prophesy. There's never enough money was my, money operating system. I trademarked this term, Money Operating System. Just like your computer has an operating system, we all have a, money operating system. That is sort of another way of saying, money blocks.

How money blocks are formed

As a child we hear adult say:

money, doesn't grow on trees,
you have to work hard for, money
money, is the root of all evil
Money, is evil and rich people are greedy.
I wonder who she had to screw to get that job.
You see your parents fight about, money, all the time.

Whatever it is, everyone will have a different set of, money blocks; because not everyone has the same, money operating system.

As a financial planner, I learnt, how to build wealth, through real estate investments. I actually had a six figure income; but spent more than I earned.

How to build wealth to a six figure income

There was one year I earned $120,000 in income and I spent $150,000. I attended a talk at a Financial Planner Conference and this woman, who is now a personal friend of mine, talked about, money blocks, and, money, psychology. She used the term “over spender”. I had never heard about, money blocks, before that talk. Being an over-spender is one way to manifest, there is never enough money.

Another way you can manifest, there's never enough money, is by being an, under earner. There are some of you listening to this podcast; you just can't seem to earn what you know you're worth in the marketplace. You are actually sabotaging yourself.

You deliberately pick the jobs that are under earning.
You under promote yourself,
You don't ask for raises,
You get contract gigs and spend six months unemployed.

Hilary – To make a long story short, I put what I learned into practice – I paid off all my debt and then I got really honest and transparent about where I was financially.

I lived in my mother's guest room for a while to make it happen. I lost that condo and I paid off the debt. I started putting my money where my mouth was in terms of building my business. I now run a registered investment advisory firm. We are all women, owned and operated.

My business earns about a million dollars a year. My husband and I just share the numbers; because I want to normalize people talking about, money. My husband and I have a house in Silicon Valley that's worth two million dollars and if you put together all of our other investments, we're definitely what you would call financially independent. We have, financial freedom.

How to Build Wealth: Have your, money work for you.

How to build wealth, from having no money. Now we have, money, work for us; but it's a skill set that I didn't always have. I have found out that my purpose on this planet is to coach people, especially entrepreneurs. For those people who run businesses, the sky is the limit for them to remove their, money blocks, wherever they may be.

I figured it out. I sort of put myself in, money, boot camp. I didn't buy a cup of coffee in a coffee shop for two years. When I was in boot camp, I got very conscious about what I was saying about, money. I now use linguistics as the foundation of my coaching. Anyone I coach, the first thing we do is remove “ I can't afford that.” from our vocabulary.

Those words are not allowed to come out of your mouth. You either say “Oh great, let me see how I can work that out” or “I‘m going to put that in my spending plan.”

Myrna – That's awesome. Your language about, money, is very powerful. Let's talk about, money mindset block. My audience on the radio are mostly African American and sometimes they are in the poverty space. Our community is predisposed to over spending. We want the nice things, we want the designer shoes and bags.

I was talking to a guy one day, he was wearing nice running shoes and he said they were Kanye West shoes and cost $400. I couldn't help thinking what was his, money mindset, to spend $400 on Kanye West running shoes?

What is a Money Mindset Block

Myrna – What exactly is a, money mindset block, and how does that show itself for somebody that's looking at their spouse and saying maybe they have a, money mindset block?

Hilary – First of all, the idea of the, money operating system, is the lead, money block. For me it was “there's never enough money” and so all my, money blocks, are going to harmonize with that particular lead, money block. For example, let me just say each individual is different and I don't mean to answer questions for someone who isn't even here; but let's take the example of the person who spent $400 on Kanye West running shoes and maybe can't pay rent, so there's an imbalance there.

If you ask that person why he spent $400 on running shoes, he might say:

I need to have this to be socially accepted,
I need these shoes so that people can think I‘m wealthy,
I need to have these shoes, so that people can think I‘m powerful.

Then you would ask the question.

Well, do you have those things?
What do people think about you?
Have you achieved this goal?
Is that desire fulfilled for you?

And if you really look, it's probably not because we need another pair of shoes or another designer bag or any other another brand name to become socially acceptable. It's an infallible hole that you can't fill with designer shoes. Instead, if you can reposition in your mind, if you're really tired of your, money, going the way that it's going, if you're sort of fed up and a little bit disgusted with the fact that you know you're a smart capable educated, well-intentioned person and money isn't working for you in your life, this is, how to build wealth, you clear your, money mindset block.

What are your 7 steps to build wealth?

Myrna – You have 7 steps to, wealth, is that how you coach someone that maybe have an overspending problem or they have a, money mindset block, problem or their, money operating system, is not working properly?

Step 1- Permission: All effective coaching starts with permission. The first step is to decide you have, money blocks, to make the decision that you're ready for change. There's no denying that you're giving up the Kanye West shoes and the brand name bags and other creature comforts. A lot of people who make financial transformation to, build wealth, find that they have to move.

They actually need a lower cost place to live; they need to give up the beautiful leased car so they can pay cash for a car and don't have monthly payments. You are lowering your standard of living in the beginning and that takes courage. It takes willingness to sacrifice, so after you've made a decision then we catalog your vocabulary about money, this is really important.

Step 2– Your money vocabulary – no one ever wants to talk about, money. You need to talk about money, to find out what your friend is doing; what's working, what's not working. You can provide advice or ask for advice if you want. What do you say to yourself about, money? Maybe some people think in pictures about, money, or maybe it's just an emotion. You think about spending, money, and you get excited; you think about saving, money, and you get sad.

I have my participants that I coach, actually spend a month doing a, money, conversation log. What do you say to your partner about, money? How do you tell your customers about, money? For example, if you're a real estate agent and someone wants to pay you a four percent commission instead of a six percent commission, what do you say? What are the actual words that are coming out of your mouth?

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Building Wealth with Money Map

So, let's get specific about what you say about, money. We've got a, money map, we've actually got kind of your, money blocks, in black and white in front of us.

Now, we can really start the coaching. So, we have sort of highlighted and done the private detective work figuring out, what’s your actual, money blocks.

I‘ll give you an example, someone I coached found this counter intuitively. She felt rich when checks would get mailed to her, so she would put the checks in her desk and not send them to the bank. Isn't that strange? I can't even identify that block, that is like a serious, money, scarcity thing.

Myrna – Did she not know the checks are only paper unless you get the, money?

Hilary – No. It was completely just something she was blind to, until we did the, money, conversation log and she saw it.

She saw it for what it was and she's like oh my God, this is crazy behavior; but no one's ever asked me about my, money, behavior, so I never thought about it.

Step 3 – logistics of money. I don't teach budgets, I think budgets are overwhelming and too detailed for most people. I think that people spend a lot of time designing a budget and then they never honor it or live by it, because it's too restrictive .

Step 4 – Earn money – You can't categorize every single expenditure you have, you're a busy person with lots of responsibilities. So instead, I teach a system I call automation. It's sort of like the equivalent of irrigation in your garden – little hoses bring, money, to the places where it needs to be. People love it.

you pay yourself first,
you pay your overhead
you save for your short-term goals – maybe your next car
you save for your financial independence first.
Then what's left over, You spend from one account and that way when that account gets to zero, you're not at zero, your money goals are already funded.

That's the plan and honestly most people get through the plan because it's very front-loaded. It is a lot of work in the beginning; but once you set it up, just like irrigation, it happens every time you turn the hose on. People pay a lot of, money, to coaches to figure out how to earn money and they can't figure out why their, money, still doesn't work for them and it's because they don't have these steps.

Step 5 – The ASK mindset – Learning to ask is a mindset . You can ask for a million things :

you can ask your credit cards companies for a lower interest rate,
you can ask your insurance for a lower premium,
you can ask your memberships for a discount.
You can ask for a discount at Star Buck. Just go ask. The point is not whether you get the discount or not, it's having the mindset to ASK. We do a challenge inside my coaching program called “Get 100 No's” You win the game by getting a hundred no's and my assertion is, It will change your life. You're building strength your, money blocks, are going to be different. For some, you'll find that your, money blocks, are operationally systematized in your business processes.

Step 6 – Clearing the, money blocks. in your business – As an entrepreneur you're either under charging for your products or services or you're not spending enough effort getting prospects into your funnel. Whatever it is, there's some part of the process that's broken for you. My training is called “Eight Ways Business Owners can Transform Revenue into Personal Wealth”, it is anon-demand training from October 8th to 15th.

So, you definitely want to go grab it. This training is really for entrepreneurs who are sick and tired of working so hard for the, money, and having not much to show for it.

Step 7 – Protect – Once you clear your, money blocks, you can, build wealth, by protecting what you built.

I just want to show you how to climb out of that trap in this training and the great news is – it's totally FREE.

I want to encourage you, please subscribe to the ‘Transform Your Mind’ YouTube podcast’s channel. Definitely trying to grow our audience.

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Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/rich-wealthy-9010-rule/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-survive-an-economic-collapse/

Life Coaching, positive change, relationship coaching, small business, women

Surviving Divorce: The Ultimate Roadmap to Rebuilding Your Life

July 23, 2023 Myrna Young Leave a comment

In this blog post, Karen McMahon, Divorce coach discuss the ins and outs of divorce, and provide you with the resources you need to rebuild your life after a divorce. Many people believe that divorce is the end of the world, but that's not necessarily the case.

In this episode, we're going to discuss the steps you need to take in order to rebuild your life after a divorce. We'll cover topics like financial planning, communication strategies, and rebuilding your relationship with your children. If you're struggling after a divorce, don't worry! This podcast is designed to help you on your road to rebuilding your life after divorce.

Download the podcast here

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Bio

Karen McMahon is a certified relationship and divorce coach and the founder of Journey Beyond divorce. Together Karen and her team of divorce coaches encourage thousands of men and women worldwide to navigate their divorce calmly, clearly and with confidence. Karen began her journey as a coach in 2010 after coming to the realization that her tumultuous three and a half year divorce was a catalyst for a transformational journey into a new life, instead of allowing her pain to wear her down.

She turned inward with a laser-like focus and worked on healing herself, setting suitable barriers and surrendering what she could not control. Karen now shows others that the shifting world of divorce is a perfect opportunity to begin identifying and practicing new ways of thinking being and doing. Looking at relationship challenges with A New Perspective inevitably leads to deeper self-discovery, which allows individuals to boldly move forward in to the next chapter of Life.

Karen is the host of the acclaimed Journey beyond divorce podcast, the co-author of stepping out of chaos, turning pain to possibility and the co-creator of JBD's exclusive 12-step divorce recovery program. Her other accomplishments include work as in NYS lobbyist Health Advocate, Community organizer and chairperson of an NYS non-profit organization.

Divorce is one of life ambushes

Myrna: I remember an interview that I had just a few weeks ago with retired Navy SEAL Jason Redman, who talked about, life ambushes, and one of the ambushes he talks about was divorce. Jason said that people when they have a life Ambush, they keep looking at the closed door. They don't understand that whenever you have an end you also have a new beginning, so that's where I'm going to start off my conversation today.

Karen said that she started this work after she went through her divorce and realized that it was a beginning of something, so Karen how do you teach your clients to turn the pain of the of divorce into a possibility?

Karen: That's a great starting question and so the first thing I'll say is there are those who ask for the divorce and those who find themselves blindsided when the divorce comes to them. So if you're asking for a divorce, if you're finally deciding that you want a divorce, you've been struggling in your marriage for a long time. You may have gone through counseling, but you've been on your own grief Journey for some time now and it's still super messed up.

Then there is those who are blindsided, they knew the marriage had problems but every marriage has problems and so when their spouse says I want a divorce they're like hit, they're ambushed and it feels like they're being run over by an 18-wheeler.

Divorce road map

So I always like to talk about the, grief Journey, because the person who's ambushed is immediately in denial. Oh are you seeing someone? You're just going through a midlife crisis, you're just confused, this can't be happening. They start bargaining, they go through this whole thing and a lot of people who have decided to divorce will think their spouse is being manipulative when in fact they're really in this, grief Journey.

Myrna: I can understand you going into the possibilities of what can happen so diving a little deeper. What is the, roadmap for divorce, you coach your clients about the possibility of relationships, career, etc.

Karen: The roadmap for divorce, is like a roadmap to a destination with all the stops. I was just speaking to a client earlier today and this person knows they need to leave and so there's so much to map out.

When do I tell my spouse
How do I tell my spouse
What do we say to the kids
When do we say it to the kids
If it's a high conflict marriage do I tell them individually
Will mom or dad throw me under the bus and hurt the kids if I tell them together?

Journey beyond divorce: co-parenting

That whole journey and as you're going down that Journey, what's coming up it's like you've jumped into a murky Pond and all of your shortcomings, all of your insecurities, everything you need to heal from and refine comes bubbling up. So now you're in an emotional tsunami after just being drop shipped into a foreign land called divorce, where you don't know the language you don't have a guide and you don't know what the heck you're doing.

It's really a powerful opportunity for, personal transformation, and reinvention because basically it's a hot mess.

Myrna: For sure, one of the things that you teach is how to do effective, co-parenting. So can we talk about that for a minute.

Karen: So in today's day and age the majority of people get 50/50 custody and the reason is I think that to a large degree our dad's a much more engaged. So when the decision is made and you might still be living under the same roof, it's a good time to start saying let's let's experiment with this co-parent thing.

This is always hard for especially if it's a stay-at-home mom or a stay-at-home parent, because you're so used to this being all your division of labor. I want to talk about when co-parenting, and this is straight through the divorce, not only don't you speak to your child about what's wrong with their other parent they are 50 that other parent.

Never bash the other parent to your kids

So not only don't you get on the phone with your girlfriend in the kitchen complaining about your soon-to-be ex while the kids are listening in the living room because they're always listening and it does such incredible harm. I'm divorcing him because he wasn't a good spouse or partner let's not assume that means he's not a good parent.

Myrna: I'm talking to you because I've never done the co-parenting thing and it sounds real complicated. I'm wondering does it benefit the kids?

Karen: A hundred percent. I work a lot in, high conflict divorce, and if you have a parent who has severe trauma, personality disorder, addiction, alcoholism etc. If you have a very, high conflict co-parent, the children are better spending more time with you. But children unless those people are dangerous it's always valuable for kids to experience both parents on a regular basis.

If you have one, high conflict personality, it's so vitally important that if you're married to the, high conflict personality, I can guarantee you you've lost your temper. You've raged, you've been a people pleaser, a codependent, you don't have boundaries, and you have to work on all of those things to become a whole and healthy person.

High conflict divorce

You can teach your children those skills so that they can navigate that, high conflict personality, you get to divorce them the children have to find the lanes that work for them. The safe places where they can really enjoy that, high conflict parent, and know that it's not their responsibility to take care of mommy or daddy.

There's one other piece that if I could talk about with co-parenting sometimes it was my experience a lot of people in a, high conflict divorce, sometimes the children come back from the other parent and and they're upset, they've been put down, they've been ignored, they feel diminished, they don't feel heard, they might not feel loved.

The worst thing that the mom can do is criticize their dad. It's so vitally important if your child comes to you and they're struggling with the other parent, ask a lot of questions.

What happened,
how did that make you feel,
what did you do about it,
what do you wish you could do about it,
what were you afraid to do that you wished you could do about it,
why are you afraid,
how can I help you,
how would you do it different next time,
how do we help you be able to say to Daddy or to set a boundary?

Myrna: I was talking about how love turns to hates so quickly. If a divorce happens because irreconcilable differences or something along those lines where you've been you've been living for a while and it's not working out you decide to divorce, but a lot of times, you're calling it, high conflict divorce, I'm assuming that you're meaning, high conflict, infidelity or you really hate your spouse male or female.

Mommy hates Daddy, mommy is gonna jump on that opportunity to bash that man, there's absolutely no way that we're gonna oh you know Daddy's not a bad person.

What is a high conflict divorce?

Karen: Actually there are plenty of people who divorce and are angry and hate each other, that's actually not, high conflict divorce. High conflict divorce, is when you're divorcing someone who takes zero responsibility and I'll say this because I think it's important in today's day and age everyone's like oh you're divorcing a narcissist.

I have a hard time with that, we're not psychologists, we don't know that, but what we do know is if you have someone who has very black and white thinking. Who always blames you and can't take responsibility, who seems to have a different memory of almost everything that happened yesterday or in history. Who can't sit down at the table and negotiate anything because they want everything or they're always right you're wrong.

These are personalities where a divorce isn't is a negotiation, because negotiations require transparency and compromise. Most Garden variety divorces involve someone who hates the other one or who's outgrown them and they're not interested in them. But no matter how you feel about your ex please hear me it is never ever going to be valuable for you to tell your child how bad their parent is.

Taking off your armor and trusting after a divorce

Myrna: I agree with that totally. In my community women don't even want the kids even to see the parent because they hate them so much. All right, now one of the other things we talk about is after the battle of the divorce, when the divorce is final, that women put down our weapons and take off our armor and start to trust again. How do we how do you teach women to become vulnerable again and trust again?

Karen: That is one of the most important questions and I hope that everyone listening that you can receive this. When our trust has been broken, it usually starts with us breaking our trust in ourselves, and what I mean by that is most of us will say I knew it. I saw the red flags and ignored them. I saw that characteristic in him but he was just so handsome and sexy, I ignored it.

So when you start rebuilding trust, don't bash yourself, don't criticize yourself don't condemn yourself, for what you did. Be incredibly compassionate with yourself and start tuning in because our fear voices is this loud Amplified voice and our inner wisdom our intuition is this very soft whisper. When we can start tuning into the soft whisper and trusting our intuitive hit, our women's intuition that is going to be the foundation of building trust.

Entrepreneurship and divorce

Myrna: A lot of people don't think about going through a divorce when you're an entrepreneur and you have a business or maybe even going a divorce in the corporate world. When you are not emotionally at your Peak everything falls around you like dominoes. So what are three ways of keeping your business running smoothly during a divorce?

Karen: So you want three okay so the first thing I'm gonna say is:

The first one is you're going through the largest transition of your life, you're not going to be on your A game, so adjust your expectations. If you've got some enormous campaign that you've planned for this upcoming year and you're going to be in the courts and juggling kids and becoming a single parent you're basically setting yourself up to fail.
The second thing is to realize what's going on. When we're going through divorce, life is busy and overwhelming for all of us. It's almost like being on your computer and adding this huge database that's going to download onto your computer you know when you download something it's like every program slows down it gets really glitchy it just freezes that's what's happening in your brain.
I'll say like hiring a coach and a therapists because the do different things. A coach helps you both logistically and emotionally, a good attorney and you might need a financial plan; but on a personal level what is your All-Star support team look like?

Conclusion

Myrna: Karen this has been amazing, you have designed a 12-step divorce recovery program which sounds really great because what you're saying is you've got to recover from this divorce.

Karen: We found that over the course of years we started looking at what are all of the typical emotional challenges that people face during and after divorce. So we created the 12 Steps around that and so the first one which would be a surprise to nobody is to curb the conflict, because no matter what kind of a divorce you have there's going to be conflict. Let's keep the focus on you and look at your behavior and here's how you can do things differently.

Then we have another step that's about calming the chaos. Most chaos during divorce doesn't happen outside of you it happens between your ears, it's your stinking thinking. So what are your assumptions, what are your interpretations, what are your limiting beliefs? We talk in the 12 Steps about becoming less problem focused and more solution focused. We talk about how to grieve and grieve well and the importance of feeling your feelings and so many more.

Each step is really helping someone pivot in one an area of their emotional experience of divorce.

Myrna: How can our listeners and those watching on TV get in contact with you? Talk about your website how they can get all the course?

Karen: We are Journey Beyond divorce on all platforms. It's Journey Beyond divorce podcast, Journey_Beyond divorce on Instagram and if the high conflict part of the conversation resonates with you we just created a toxic quiz and it's on the home page. It's 10 questions and it gives you a really good sense of the health or lack thereof of your current relationship.

Additional Resources

How to be Confident after a Divorce

blog, coaching, emotional intelligence, Executive Coaching, Leadership, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, mindset, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, Podcast, small business, transform your mind

5 Questions to Ask Before Going with Your Gut Feelings

February 18, 2023 Myrna Young

Never go with your, gut feelings, because what is true is that your gut, intuition, is often going to be lying to you. Just like people who are depressed and anxious feel that there's something to be said about, gut feelings, when there's not, and feel there's a threat when there is not. Instead use counter intuitive strategies to make decisions.

In this episode of the Transform your Mind to Transform your Life podcast, I interview Dr Gleb Tsipursky, Cognitive Neuroscientist and Behavioral Economist and author of the book “Never Go With Your Gut: How Pioneering Leaders Make the Best Decisions and Avoid Business Disasters.”

What was your path in becoming a Cognitive Neuroscientist?

I was 18 in 1999 when the Prince song party like it's 1999 was Hot. A lot of leaders were partying because their companies were going boom they were making a lot of a lot of money. Billions of dollars were invested into the dot.com industry, and just a couple of years later when I was 21 in 2002, they all went bust. The leaders of the dot.com era made terrible decisions. They trusted their, Gut feelings, and went bust! That and the fact I saw my father trust his, gut feelings, and made terrible decisions, made me study to become a Cognitive Neuroscientist.

Leaders who went with their, gut feelings, made bad decisions

A lot of Leaders who went with, gut feelings, went to jail. Their, gut instincts, were way off. Never trust just your, gut feelings. I was curious about what was going on, so I decided to study the neuroscience of the brain and how people think. I became a Trainer, Consultant, and Coach for business leaders.

Cognitive neuroscience, is a subfield of neuroscience that studies the biological processes that underlie human cognition, especially in regards to the relation between brain structures, activity and cognitive functions. The purpose of it is to determine how the brain functions and achieves performance.is the study of how our brain works, how we make decisions and what our patterns of decision-making are. I also studied the specific judgment errors that we make when we make decisions purely from, gut feelings.

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One of the first things I wanted to know because as a, Lifecoach myself, when I sit down in a coaching session, I'm looking for certain things in order for me to understand where my clients are coming from. As a cognitive neuroscientist and behavioral economist, what are you looking for when you were consulting with these business leaders?

Coaching to, Gut Instinct

The first thing I'm looking for is to make sure the person is coachable. A lot of people would like to go to a coach, but they're not coachable. Meaning that they're not willing to listen to external feedback and accept that sometimes, someone looking from the outside is going to be wiser than the person looking from the inside and making those, gut feeling, decisions.

I also try to find an issue of disagreement and in the first session, to see how the person reacts to this disagreement. Because if this person's is not able to deal with this disagreement, then we’re not going to be able to have an effective coaching relationship. Because as a coach I'm going to tell you what I think, and if you can’t accept feedback, we can't work together and I'd like to discover that as quickly as possible.

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The other thing that I look for at the start of the session is how emotionally aware this person is. That's the quality of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence refers to two broad skill sets:

emotional awareness – where is this person emotions
and emotional management – how are they able to manage their emotions.

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It is really an important element for me to understand. Do I need to teach this person these skills of emotional intelligence, personal skills, emotional awareness and emotional management? Because in order to make good decisions, instead of going with, gut feelings, we need to realize that our emotions are the overwhelming factor driving our, gut intuition and, gut instinct. Our emotions shape about 80 to 90 percent of our, gut feelings, and decision-making. Going with your, gut feelings, means going with your, gut instinct intuition, and they're often wrong, so this is a problem.

When my clients notice that there are goals they want to achieve from coaching are at odds with their natural inclinations and natural intuition, they change their natural state. One of the very important aspects of coaching, is to change your natural state of activities otherwise there is no point in coaching.

One key aspect of coaching, is to change from where you are today to where you want to be

I'm looking for that as well how aware is the person of their emotions and how able are they to manage their emotions and, gut feelings.

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Leaders shouldn't just use gut feelings to make decisions

As a Cognitive Neuroscientist and Behavioral Economist, you had enough data to write a book on disaster avoidance and that's also name of your company. Does your research indicate that most people who follow their, gut feelings, or, gut instinct, make the wrong decisions?

Yes, overwhelmingly people who just go with their, gut feelings, and make decisions by, gut reaction, as opposed to people who check with their heads before going with their, gut feelings, make the wrong decisions.

Let's look at small businesses. A lot of small business owners who don't have training go with their, gut feeling, and open up a business. They feel that they can do this job, I can do this work. I can run this restaurant or this hair salon or I can be a plumber. But when you look at the actual statistics, what happens to small businesses is about half of them fail within the first five years, about two-thirds of them fail within the first ten years; because people make decisions based on, gut feelings. They just go with their, gut instincts, they don't check with their head before going with their, gut feeling. Never just go with your, gut feelings.

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Podbean

5 Questions to Ask Before Going with Your Gut Feelings

That business leader this who wants to open up a hair salon needs to learn about these, cognitive biases, the 30 most dangerous ones that she might be suffering from

I list them all in my book “Never Go With Your Gut: How Pioneering Leaders Make the Best Decisions and Avoid Business Disasters.”

I will list 5 of them here.

The Confirmation Bias – where she might be looking for information from, gut feelings, that confirms her beliefs and ignoring information that do not confirm her beliefs.
Objective Adviser – Understanding the failure rate for hair salons. The failure rate for hair salons are a little bit higher than the failure rate for typical small businesses, so the first question to answer is why she would not fail. What makes her so special ? Never go with just, gut feelings.
Get uncomfortable – Look for information that is uncomfortable and that to prove to herself whether this is the right decision or not.
Check for the optimism bias. Business leaders who open up new restaurants, new salon or new small businesses tech startups tend to be very optimistic. They are too optimistic compared to the reality of the situation.
Exit strategy if Business fails – what are all the reasons why it would fail. Was it the wrong location? Management etc?

Additional Resources Never go with Your, Gut Feelings

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V3QWa9WdzQ

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-top-7-reasons-meditation-can-help-your-business-increase-revenues/

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-brain-gut-connection

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/gut-second-brain/

https://lonerwolf.com/gut-instincts/

career development, finding purpose, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Personal Development, Podcast, positive change, purpose, small business, women

How to Find your Passion Purpose and Freedom as a Mompreneur

January 1, 2023 Myrna Young

Are you a stay at home mom? Why not become a, mompreneur? Allison Lancaster, lifestyle blogger and, mompreneur, shares how to start and grow your business along with your babies.

Today on the, Transform your Mind, to Transform your Life radio show and podcast. I interview Allison Lancaster. Allison is a mom, wife and six-figure business owner. She started her business in 2016 after giving birth to her first son, who spent 2 weeks in the NICU. She has since grown not only a lifestyle blogger; but has become a trusted online business manager for entrepreneurs who are seeking to find purpose, passion & freedom as a, mompreneur. Allison's passion project is teaching other moms how to become work at home moms so that they can grow their business along with their babies.

Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes — Download on iTunes

Allison How did you go about deciding to be a Mompreneur?

The entire time I was pregnant with my son, I had decided to go back to work. We had a daycare picked out and everything. But I think going through the NICU experience and just becoming a new mom, that's a huge life change. Whether you're an NICU mom or not. I can remember one day that just sticks out in my mind, my son was about two months old, my maternity leave was dwindling down and I could just remember sitting looking at my baby and just crying. I didn’t want to leave him to go back to work.

Myrna: So you fell in love and couldn't bear to part with your baby!

I've always had kind of an entrepreneurial spirit. I had my own business as a wedding planner and always had a side hustle. I have always wanted to have my own business. So when I decided to be a, mompreneur, I started just researching like a mad person on Google for ideas. I started out by buying things from Walmart on clearance and then trying to sell them on Amazon, which some people make great business out of; but I just could not do it.

So I considered what I am good at. I clarified my strengths. Writing has always been a passion of mine, so I decided I'll just start a, mompreneur, blog.

I really didn't think that it would be any sort of a career. It was just something I used as an outlet.

How did you build your Business as a, Mompreneur?

The, NICU experience, was really kind of a traumatic birth experience; so I decided to download by writing about it and maybe helping other NICU moms.

The, NICU experience, is a different kind of experience from a regular birth. I mean you don't get to hold your baby for days, possibly weeks and you're separated from him or her and you have to watch them being fed by tubes. It is both a traumatic and terrifying experience.

Other, NICU moms, started sharing their experience and it was powerful.. My blog was very quickly picked up and syndicated by a large parenting website.

I joined some blogging groups on Facebook and I found this amazing community of bloggers who were very receptive and helpful.

Then I started promoting my blog on Pinterest, just kind of pinning it just to see what would happen. My content very quickly gained traction had I had some viral pins.

Then friends started to reach out to me and there they were like, hey you're doing really well on Pinterest. You're being syndicated in all of these places. What are you doing and how can you help us?

So that's really kind of where the online business management side of my business was born.

How did you Grow your, Mompreneur, Business along with your Babies?

I took on one client and then they referred me and here we are some 50 or more clients later.

Myrna: Wow yeah I have a blog ( this one!) and my blog did not take off! I have never been syndicated and I have yet to figure out what Pinterest does! So you're doing great. Why do you thing you were so successful so quickly?

It has come full circle. Initially I would have said it was the marketing pieces of it and the website building and things like that. But late last year I noticed a shift. People wanted to hear about the nuts and bolts of running a business and that is what I blogged about.

Today I kind of talk about everything, I call it a lifestyle blog. I share a lot of my grandmother's recipes. I'm a southern girl and we like our food. I share a lot of parenting kind of tips and advice too. I have 2 kids now. A 3 year old and a 9 month old. As they're growing, things that I'm learning and discovering, I share.

How to Find your Passion, Purpose and Freedom as a, Mompreneur

Mompreneurs, are women entrepreneurs who just happens to be moms as well. A lot of, mompreneurs, started their businesses because they wanted the freedom to stay at home with their babies, or the freedom to travel or whatever kind of freedom they are looking for.

I have started very recently a free course for, mompreneurs, who want to become virtual Assistants. Mompreneurs, who want to stay home with their babies and don't necessarily want to sell a product or create a product. I want to teach them how they can start a business offering virtual assistant services. We all have marketable skills whether that's accounting, bookkeeping or marketing. I kind of coach them through the process.

Most, mompreneurs, don't even remember what their purpose was in starting their business. They just wanted to see the light at the end of the tunnel. So I do a lot of business strategizing with clients. I ask them what is your five-year plan for your business?

Why did you start your business, was it to stay at home with your babies or was it to travel?

Then I ask them. Are you seeing those things in your business right now? If not why?

I teach, mompreneurs, to find their passion and purpose by doing what they love.

I think it's different for every person; but there's just a lot of questions and kind of deep-diving and soul-searching that you have to do. We have to do it consistently, not just in the beginning or in the middle of your business. It's a daily thing. Ask yourself, how does this task fit into my bigger plan and my bigger purpose?

Listen to the full interview by clicking the link below or by downloading and subscribing to your favorite podcast player.

Now on Podbean, Castbox, Deezer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, and Stitcher, iHeart Radio, TuneIn Radio,

Additional Resources:

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-quest-for-purpose-six-holistic-ways-finding-purpose/

Ask Coach Myrna: How to Start Over?

12 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Thrive As a Stay-At-Home Mom

Stay at Home Mom Help: 12 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Thrive

book, coaching, Executive Coaching, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, motivation, Out Of The Snares, Personal Development, setting goals, small business, vision, women

Keep Your Vision in Front of You

July 24, 2022 Myrna Young

Keep Your, Vision, in Front of you – Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.

In OUT OF THE SNARES, MYRNA BERNADETTE TROTMAN shares her story of child abuse, poverty and her success as an entrepreneur. As a certified, Life Coach, she shares ten undeniable resources she used to help her achieve success and live the American Dream. This inspirational and motivational book will help you to reach your potential and achieve new levels of success in your life. Get these ten principles based on biblical principles and Universal Laws, deep down in your spirit and boldly go in the direction of your destiny:

Principle # 1. Keep Your Vision in Front of you –

Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.

Like a Blacksmith, you need to keep hitting the Anvil, pounding it daily, shaping your dreams

If you build it they will come

Don't let life's challenges knock you off course remember:

“Circumstances does not make the man, it reveals him to himself” ~ James Allen

Man is the Lord and Master of his thoughts and thus is the maker of himself.

In my book “Out of the Snares” I tell a compelling story of my, vision, of America as my promised land. My Land of milk and honey. I kept that, vision, in front of me and kept picking myself up after each failure believing that I would succeed, and I did.

https://myhelps.us/out-of-the-snares/

Leadership & the 4 C’s of , Vision Casting

A few weeks ago I was talking to a young leader, trying to upgrade his, vision casting, skills. I gave him four simple tips about communicating, vision.

1. CLARITY. Leaders, must create clarity by narrowing the focus when casting, vision. Everything that can be done in the name of God is not sign at all. It is a sign of undisciplined thinking. The leader’s job is to focus the organization on the core essentials. The more we focus on and clarify essentials, the easier it is to identify and eliminate non-essentials.

2. COMPELLING. Once your goals are clarified, it must be communicated in a way that is compelling. A, leader, who makes an unprepared sloppy presentation can make an otherwise exciting goals seem boring. Compelling, goals, produces action. Boring goals produces nothing.

3. COMMITMENT. Casting a clear and compelling, vision, without calling for commitment is a waste of everyone’s time. Real, leaders, are committed and they call others to commitment. Some leaders are hesitant to demand sacrificial commitment because they are not all-in themselves. Commitment is an example that leaders set, not a message they teach. Leadership commitment is contagious. So is leadership non-commitment.

4. COMMUNITY. Clear and compelling goals attracts committed people. As these people sacrifice for the common, community happens. Trying to create community for the sake of community creates unhealthy ingrown short-lived community. Doing goals together creates strong healthy long-term community.

SUMMARY. As a leader, you are the visionary for your church, ministry, or organization. If you communicate clear and compelling, if you model and call for commitment, you will end up with a strong healthy community. You will also accomplish your dreams.

Additional Resources:

http://blog.myhelps.us/vision-fails-5-things-can-failure/

http://blog.myhelps.us/ten-characteristics-of-an-entrepreneur-leader/

https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/resumes-cover-letters/leadership-skills

Entrepreneur, improving sales, motivation, sales team, setting goals, small business

7 Traits of Highly Effective Sales People

July 2, 2022 Myrna Young

The best, sales people, and most effective, sales people, are naturals. They are, extroverts, who love people, have sunny positive personalities and are highly ethical.

“I determine to render more and better service, each day, than I am being paid to render. Those that reach the top are the ones who are not content with doing only what is required of them.”

― Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman In The World

Here are seven other traits you should look for when interviewing for your sales team.

1: They fish instead of hunt

A hunter stalks his prey and then attacks. He tries to make one shot for the kill; if he misses, then he tries to find another prey and takes aim again.

A fisher man on the other hand first understands the fish he is trying to catch. In choosing a pond or lake, he knows what kinds of fish are in the pond, what kind of bait they usually bite on and when they are most likely to bite.

In the world of, sales, the hunter is the transaction seller who sells on price and usually has only one shot.

The salesperson who is a fisher man on the other hand, takes the time to learn about his customer. He understands how his product solves the problem of the customer and instead of shooting to kill; he dangles the correct bait by offering a solution and builds a relationship with the customer, before he tries to close the sale.

“Obstacles are necessary for success because in selling, as in all careers of importance, victory comes only after many struggles and countless defeats. Yet each struggle, each defeat, sharpens your skills and strengths, your courage and your endurance, your ability and your confidence and thus each obstacle is a comrade-in-arms forcing you to become better… or quit. Each rebuff is an opportunity to move forward; turn away from them, avoid them, and you throw away your future.”
― Og Mandino, The Greatest Salesman In The World

2: They know when to speak and when to listen
Inexperienced, sales people, think they can win sales by over-talking their prospects. The best, sales people, use discretion and carefully crafted questions to get a prospect to close. Once they have delivered the pitch, they know to shut up and listen.

3: They work closely with their support staff
Closing a large customer sometimes require your solution experts. Great sales persons know when to bring in their support staff to add value to the customer.
Inexperienced, sales people, try to do everything by themselves and usually loose the sale.

4: They practice continuous learning
Great, sales people, not only learn everything about their product; but they also learn everything about their competitor’s product.
For example: Let’s say you are trying to decide between a Toyota Camry and the Honda Accord as your next vehicle. You are at the Toyota dealership and your salesperson not only tells you why the Toyota Camry is the right car for you based on the needs he uncovered during his fact finding segment of the sale; but he also tells you the all the features of the Honda Accord and why it may not be the best fit for you. He knows his product!

5: Highly Effective Salespeople love their job
Most, sales people, actually hate sales and selling. The most effective, sales people, actually enjoy it. They get up every day excited about the product and the prospects. They love the high of the win and the excitement and challenge of influencing their customers.

For these few, the high compensation is an added bonus like icing on the cake, of getting to do what they love.

6: They are self-motivated and self-directed

Companies spend a ton of money on sales managers who mostly focus on whip-cracking the bottom performers.

Great, sales people, don't need micro managing; they are internally motivated to being the best and set their own growth goals.

7: They are honest and ethical

Highly effective, sales people, never over promise and under deliver; they never lie to get a sale. They know that trust of the sales person and the company is essential to a long term relationship with the customer.

They understand the principle that the short term gain of getting a sale on false pretenses equals long term pain.

blog, Entrepreneur, Executive Coaching, improving sales, Leadership, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, Podcast, sales team, setting goals, small business

How to Become an Open Communicator

May 24, 2022 Myrna Young

Sometimes being an, open communicator, vs a closed off communicator gets you out of bad situations like in a relationship. In every area of life, there is no reward if there is no risk taken.

This week on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast with Coach Myrna Young, I interview Leadership Coach and Trainer, Gail Green.
Gail teaches us How to Become an, open Communicator. Gail is the founder of GoGreen Learning.
To receive her Free Gift of 3 Go Cards send her an email from her web site www.gogreenlearning.com

Here is a brief Biography of Gail Green.

•Gail is a leadership coach and trainer and her topic today is “How to find out if you are an, open vs closed communicator, as well as an, open communicator in the workplace. Gail is a leader who connects individuals and teams to their truth, helping them to discover their full expression of courage, joy and fulfillment. Gail works with all sizes of companies, as well as individually with leaders, and do life coaching with individuals from all walks of life.

Gail’s primary work is in leadership development, teambuilding, stress management and all forms of, open and honest communication.

Who is a Closed Communicator?

Why is being a, closed communicator, bad?

As a, closed communicator:

you become defensive,
resistant,
bitchy,
moody,
easy to anger,
confrontational,
and not open to feedback.

So as a Leader, it is important to be an, open communicator, to your team and employees.

Open people radiate outwards from their heart and is able to touch others.

If you want to impact your employees and your customers, then learn how to be open.
Listen to the podcast as Gail teaches us how to be an, Open vs Closed communicator, with the help of her Go Cards.

Brian Tracy The author of “Eat that Frog” also teaches How to become an, Open Communicator, as a Leader and achieve new levels of success in sales.
Click the link below to find out how.

Are You also Closed Off in your personal relationships And Don’t Even Know It?

Being an, open communicator in a relationship, is necessary for the relationship to be healthy.

Here are a few questions to find out if you are an, open communicator.

How Would you answer the following questions?
Are you emotionally guarded?
Are you willing to take risks?

If you answered yes to these questions, it could mean that you are closed off emotionally.

Sometimes being emotionally guarded gets you into bad situations; but most of the time it gets you nowhere. In every area of life, there is no reward if there is no risk taken. So that could be why you keep finding yourself in relationships that bore you, or in relationship with other emotionally closed off individuals. Because like attracts like. Those relationships aren’t very rewarding, are they?

Open and honest communication, is the best way to be in relationships at home and workplace. If you don’t take the risk by becoming an, open communicator, and putting your true self and your true feelings on the table, those are the types of relationships that you will attract.

Your emotionally open friends who love being, open communicators, will get those giddy, best-friends-lovers, movie-type romances; you will get the dead-end ones. Maybe you’ve never had your heart broken, and maybe you think that’s a perk. But it’s not. It is said that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all! So, I will ask the question. Are you closed off communicator and don’t even realize it?

Here is an article from Madame Enoire that asks 10 more ways to tell if you are closed off personally.

Here are 10 ways to tell if you an, open communicator, or closed off

Do you feel like first dates are interrogations, and are put off by the line of questioning you receive during them?
Does it feel very inappropriate to you whenever someone becomes emotional around you?
Do your friends share their romantic stories with you? Or do they feel that you are never happy for them so they don’t share?
Do you attract cocky guys?
You do a lot of Googling before first dates.
You prep your friends to meet a guy.
Sex is a competition.
You’ve never cried to a partner or shown your venerability.
Eye contact makes you very uncomfortable
You’re very sarcastic

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The key to a life of financial freedom and abundance is right in front of you, and I invite you to share it with your friends and family!

Show Notes Open Communicator:

• Topic: Are you an Open or, Closed Communicator?
Tell us your journey towards becoming a Leadership coach
How did you come to specialize in, Open vs closed communication?
How does a leader know if he or she is, open vs closed communicator? What determines that?
If a leader becomes closed off, how can he or she trace the source?
Why should leaders want to become open? What are the benefits of being an, open communicator?
What tools do you offer as a coach to help clients who are closed off to become, open communicators?
You sent me this beautiful set of Go Cards, how does one use these cards to change their state?
How do we become, open communicators in the workplace?
What is the, meaning of open communication?

Additional Resources

Life Leadership & Success

coaching, Entrepreneur, Executive Coaching, Fluid Intelligence, Leadership Coaching, small business, startup, startup IQ

What’s your Startup IQ?

March 20, 2022 Myrna Young

Are you an, Entrepreneur, or thinking of becoming an, Entrepreneur? Can you guess your, startup IQ? Would you like to know if you are naturally gifted with Entrepreneurship Intelligence or you will have to work harder than most? Silicon Valley have the answer for you. They have a test to find out your, startup IQ.

Owning your own business gives you a sense of freedom and empowerment. You can build things and watch them grow.

Entrepreneurs, make decisions for themselves, realize their creative visions, and develop lasting relationships with other entrepreneurs, customers, and vendors.

It’s a great way to live. But your need an entrepreneur's, IQ, to be good at starting and running a successful business.

Here are a few natural traits that predict Startup IQ.

• Openness – A high openness score means you are open minded. You listen to the ideas of others and are willing to learn from them. Sam Walton built the Walmart Empire by learning from his competitors. This is your first, IQ test.

• Conscientiousness – Doing what is right. Integrity and honesty fit into this natural ability and, IQ, as well. Conscientious Entrepreneurs, run their companies diligently, solving their customers problems. This is your second, IQ, test.

• Extroversion – We have heard a lot about extroversion as it relates to successful CEO’s and startup, IQ. True in order to sell, you must like people and be comfortable around them; but as an, Entrepreneur, you shouldn't go it alone. You should create a team. If you are not a natural extrovert, hire a front line sales person. Bill Gates is an introvert so you could be wildly successful even if you don't have this natural ability.

• Agreeableness – Are you compassionate, warm and considerate? This is a necessary, IQ test. People do business with people they like. Agreeableness does not mean you must be nice all the time. As a business owner you must be able to also be straightforward with customers and employees and to replace the ones who do not conform to your mission.

• Neuroticism – A good indication of Entrepreneurial, startup IQ, success is to score low on the neuroticism test. Neuroticism is defined as the tendency of an individual to experience negative emotions such as anxiety, hostility, depression, impulsiveness and vulnerability. Entrepreneurs, Managers and Leaders must be emotionally stable, self-confident, calm in the presence of chaos, even tempered and relaxed.

• Fluid Intelligence – This refers to the ability to rapidly learn and apply a rule. Entrepreneurs, deal with different issues all day. As a start-up, entrepreneur, they wear many different hats. The ability to switch from one issue to another is very important and is a skill that cannot be learned. Fluid Intelligence, is considered the most revealing test for, success. If you get stuck and can’t switch roles, you cannot lead and become an Enterprise.

The startup IQ test

As an, Entrepreneur, I agree with this predictive startup, IQ test.

As your Success and Entrepreneurial Coach, the foundation of my coaching practice is creating self-awareness and, business consciousness. I have seen passion override natural ability; so go for it.

Read case studies to build your Startup IQ

As an, entrepreneur, you’ll be inundated with your, business, needing to take care of it all the time. So when you have some leisure time, you might be tempted to read fiction or books for entertainment.

Instead, I encourage you to read case studies. Read biographies of successful, entrepreneurs, who had a high startup, IQ. Read everything you can get your hands on about those who have already been successful.

There’s always something to learn from those who have already done it.

I especially think it’s important to learn from the mistakes of others. If you learn from their mistakes, you won’t have to make those mistakes yourself.

And if you do make mistakes yourself, definitely learn from those.

Take Baby steps to test your startup, IQ.

Building a successful entrepreneurial business can seem daunting, and that’s OK. Building a business from the ground up is a massive undertaking.

Here is a foolproof tactic: Break it down.

Any problem that seems insurmountable, break it down into baby steps.

Once you’ve broken it down into baby steps, take them one at a time. Before you know it, just by placing one foot in front of the other, you’ll be halfway up the mountain.

With grit and perseverance, baby steps will get you far toward becoming a successful, entrepreneur.

Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Focus build your startup IQ

The life of a successful, entrepreneur, can feel scattered and disjointed, but it’s important to limit your time spent multitasking.

Research has shown time and time again that multitasking doesn’t work. Humans aren’t capable of it.

And yes, multitasking includes being distracted by your phone and email tabs. Close them and put them away.

Learn to focus and take time to do just one task. Giving one task your full attention will mean that you’re more likely to get it done and do it well.

It’s also important to know that too many tasks on your to-do list can make you ineffective and distracted.

Learn to focus your to-do list on the tasks that you’re capable of finishing in the amount of time you’ve allotted for them.

For example, each night, set the three tasks that you’ll complete the following day. And each month, set the overarching goal for your company that you want to achieve in the next 30 days.

These techniques can help you to learn how to focus and more effectively manage your business, building your, business IQ.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/rich-wealthy-9010-rule/

Can you recognize your failure symptoms?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/neuroticism

Entrepreneur, Executive Coaching, Leadership Coaching, Personal Development, small business

How to Use Feedback to Develop Employees

February 21, 2022 Myrna Young

Feedback, plays an integral role in, employees potential, and development, as it is often the only personal communication that employees have that gives them, feedback, about their work.

Feedback, is the breakfast of champions. – Ken Blanchard

Case Study employee, feedback

As a sales manager, you have a team of 10 sales persons: Two are overachievers and the other eight are happy being average. You know they have the potential to do so so much more… What do you do?

• How do you find out what really motivates them?
• How do you offer, feedback, that inspires instead of deflates?

The Sandwich Model of Giving, Feedback

Think of your favorite sandwich… It has bread on top, lots of juicy meat and condiments in the middle and bread at the bottom again.

In the, Sandwich Model, of giving, feedback, the top of the bun represents the good things you see your salesperson doing.

Eg “Patty you did an awesome job on that PowerPoint presentation. You kept your audience interested, you listed facts and supported them, your tonality was awesome and you had good volume. Excellent job; BUT….”

Now you get to the middle of the sandwich, the meat. This is where you offer, feedback, on what Patty could have done better to close the sale. Psychologist's reports that people are more receptive to hear negative, feedback, after you make them feel good with a positive comment.

The reason men in bars lead with flattery!

However your, feedback, is not going to get the desired result if you are not genuine with your praise, the same way if you use a tired overused line at the bar! You get nowhere and the party feels insulted. So dig deep and find something genuinely good to lead off the, feedback. In our case study, Patty gave an awesome presentation, but she did not get the sale. So we pick up at:

Excellent job Patty but; the customer said that they needed to check out other suppliers before they made their decision. It might be a good idea to ask your salesperson what she feels she did wrong. If she says that she felt the customer needed to compare before they bought, you can tell her that they would have made a decision if she had SOLD them on the product by offering a solution to satisfy their real need behind the want.

When employees start getting feedback, they feel they are part of the company. Employee, recognition plays a huge part in boosting performance and maintaining high levels of engagement. It is also one of manager's best tools and an important part of organizational communication. When done regularly, feedback, stops being a thing to be anxious about and becomes another part of your work.

Never forget that this is a two-way communication. Your suggestions, like any other opinion, can be right or wrong. Provide a chance for discussion. Show that you are as willing to listen as you are to share your opinion.

Giving your, employee feedback, may sound silly at first, but we never get better by ourselves. We always need a new perspective to assess things objectively. Take note of what kind of feedback works and what doesn’t.

As a rule of thumb, good managers are good listeners as well. Need a hand? Lend an ear.

Offer Constructive, Feedback

Keep in mind the basic human psychology. People respond better to positive information, so always open your comment with praise and then continue with constructive comments. In no way does this mean you have to sugar-coat your opinion, but there is a reason we still use the idiom “take the bitter with the sweet”.

Not wanting to be too negative is a commendable thing. But you have to keep in mind that, according to Gallup study, employees who get predominantly negative feedback are 20 times more likely to be engaged than those who get no, feedback, at all.

Podbean

The meat in the sandwich, feedback, method: Excellent Job with the presentation Patty, but the customer did not buy. I believe the reason is because you did not identify and therefore could not offer a solution to the real need. The customer told you they needed to purchase a new computer system because their old system does not give them enough storage capacity. Your presentation focused on listing our product with features highlighting our iCloud storage. If you had qualified the customer more thoroughly and understood why they needed more storage, you could have tailored your presentation to highlight the unique features of our product to satisfy the real need and eliminated our competitors.

I have a suggestion, for the next month, when you meet with customers for the first time, I want you to really understand their needs behind the want. Ask questions like “I understand your need to have more storage. What would more storage really give you?” The customer may say, something like “We would be able to look back at data for 5 years and understand our customer's buying history. We also would be able to really identify trends and analyze what worked and what did not work.”

No sandwich is complete without the bread at the bottom. So you end with encouragement. To finish off your, feedback, you could say something like “You can become the star on this team, you just need to tweak your qualifying questions to understand the customer’s needs and you will see your close rate shoot through the roof.”

This sandwich model is the best way to give, feedback, to your subordinates. It motivates instead of deflates!

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/coach-myrna-7-ways-to-get-unstuck-from-old-patterns/

http://blog.myhelps.us/we-can-all-be-the-authors-of-our-own-lives/

Introduction

How to identify our 16 Personalities.

How does Objects identity their personalities?

The Myers-Briggs Personalities Type Indicator

The 16 personalities types

The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personalities types:

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Additional Resources, Personalities.

The definition of, Money Blocks

How I became an expert on clearing, money blocks

How money blocks are formed

How to build wealth to a six figure income

How to Build Wealth: Have your, money work for you.

What is a Money Mindset Block

What are your 7 steps to build wealth?

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Building Wealth with Money Map

Bio

Divorce is one of life ambushes

Divorce road map

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Journey beyond divorce: co-parenting

Never bash the other parent to your kids

High conflict divorce

What is a high conflict divorce?

Taking off your armor and trusting after a divorce

Entrepreneurship and divorce

Conclusion

Additional Resources

Leaders who went with their, gut feelings, made bad decisions

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Coaching to, Gut Instinct

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Leaders shouldn't just use gut feelings to make decisions

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5 Questions to Ask Before Going with Your Gut Feelings

Additional Resources Never go with Your, Gut Feelings

Allison How did you go about deciding to be a Mompreneur?

How did you build your Business as a, Mompreneur?

How did you Grow your, Mompreneur, Business along with your Babies?

How to Find your Passion, Purpose and Freedom as a, Mompreneur

Now on Podbean, Castbox, Deezer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, and Stitcher, iHeart Radio, TuneIn Radio,

Additional Resources:

12 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Thrive As a Stay-At-Home Mom

Principle # 1. Keep Your Vision in Front of you –

Leadership & the 4 C’s of , Vision Casting

Here is a brief Biography of Gail Green.

Who is a Closed Communicator?

Are You also Closed Off in your personal relationships And Don’t Even Know It?

Here are 10 ways to tell if you an, open communicator, or closed off

Show Notes Open Communicator:

Here are a few natural traits that predict Startup IQ.

The startup IQ test

Read case studies to build your Startup IQ

Take Baby steps to test your startup, IQ.

Focus build your startup IQ

Case Study employee, feedback

The Sandwich Model of Giving, Feedback

Offer Constructive, Feedback

A Personal Development Blog and Podcast