The eyes are often called the windows to the soul, and in many ways, they are also the lamps that illuminate our lives. The wisdom behind the scripture Jesus taught in Luke “Your eyes are the lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light; when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness,” goes far beyond the physical realm of seeing with the naked eye.
In this Life coaching episode, we'll delve into the profound meaning of this statement, eyes windows to the soul, and explore how the health and perspective of your eyes can shape the brightness of your life.
**Positive Outlook and gratitude:** When your eyes perceive the world with optimism and gratitude, your entire perspective on life brightens. Seeing the glass as half full instead of half empty has to do with the, light of your eyes. A, good eye, sees opportunities, solutions, and the beauty that surrounds you.
**Healthy Vision:** Taking care of your physical eyes is crucial. Regular eye check-ups and proper eye care not only ensure clear vision but also contribute to your overall well-being.
**Mind-Body Connection:** The connection between your eyes and your body's well-being is deeper than you might think. Your mental and emotional state can significantly impact your physical health. How many of you know that when you are depressed it means you are looking at the world through bad eyes.
**The Power of Focus:** A, good eye, doesn't just see; it focuses. When you have a clear vision of your goals and dreams, your energy and efforts align, filling your life with purpose and direction.
**Limiting Beliefs:** Negative thoughts and self-doubt can cloud your perception, leading to a pessimistic outlook. This darkness can hinder your progress and happiness.
**Physical Consequences:** Stress and negative emotions can manifest physically, affecting your health. Chronic stress, for example, can lead to various health issues.
**Impact on Relationships:** How you view others can also be influenced by the state of your eyes. A negative perspective can strain relationships and hinder personal growth. My pastor is famous for saying that we complain about our husbands yet so many women are praying for one. Ladies appreciate your husbands don’t let a, bad eye, ruin your relationship.
**Missed Opportunities:** A, bad eye, might overlook potential opportunities and solutions, leaving you in the shadows of missed chances.
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Cultivating Good Eyes:
**Practice Gratitude:** Train your eyes to see the blessings and beauty in everyday life. A gratitude journal, can help shift your perspective.
**Self-Reflection:** Regularly reflect on your thoughts and emotions. Recognize and challenge negative patterns to nurture a positive outlook. Get rid of ANTS which are automatic negative thoughts. I will link out to an episode I did on ANTS in the show notes
**Physical Health:** Prioritize eye care, a healthy diet, and stress management. Physical well-being contributes to mental and emotional clarity.
**Set Goals:** Define your life's purpose and set clear goals. A focused and, healthy vision, will guide your actions and infuse your life with light.
Conclusion:
Your eyes do more than enable you to see the physical world; they shape your perception, influence your health, and guide your journey through life. By cultivating, good eyes—ones that radiate positivity, clarity, and purpose—you can fill your entire body with light. Choose to see the world and yourself in the best possible light, and watch as your life becomes brighter and more fulfilling.
The stone the builder rejected now cornerstone. This metaphor mirrors the human experience. Throughout history, visionaries, innovators, and creators have often encountered resistance when introducing novel ideas, unorthodox methods, or unconventional paths.
Jesus told the disciples a story of a man planting a vineyard, building a wall around it with a lookout tower and then leased it to tenants. During harvest he sent one of his servants to collect his share of thd crop but they beat him and send him back empty handed. He kept sending more servants and they beat them up too. He decided to send his only son and they beat him and killed him as well. Then Jesus said “the stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone.
I grew up hearing my grandmother quote this scripture and I seen it play out in families. Parents favoring one child and rejecting another and that child they rejected became the cornerstone who looked after them when they get sick or old and feeble but today I want to focus on this scripture as a, personal development tool.
This simple yet powerful saying is a reminder that what may be initially overlooked or dismissed can later prove to be essential, transformative, and foundational.
This metaphor mirrors the human experience. Throughout history, visionaries, innovators, and creators are often rejected when introducing novel ideas, unorthodox methods, or unconventional paths, then these rejected ideas become the main cornerstone.
Some rejected stones who later became the cornerstone
Consider the pioneering minds who introduced revolutionary technologies, art forms, or philosophies. Many faced skepticism and dismissal, only to have their, rejected “stones,” later become the bedrock of progress. From the Wright brothers‘ ridiculed dream of flight to the skepticism surrounding the early internet, countless examples remind us that the seeds of innovation can initially be met with doubt.
In personal journeys, too, the metaphor holds weight. People who defy societal norms or follow their passions in defiance of conventional wisdom often face rejection or misunderstanding. Yet, history has shown that those who stay true to their convictions, despite the initial rejection they encounter, can eventually shape new paradigms and redefine success.
The phrase's universality extends to relationships and personal growth. People who have felt rejected or marginalized can harness the, power of resilience, transforming their perceived weaknesses into sources of strength. Through determination and self-belief, individuals can evolve from, overlooked “stones” into cornerstones, of their own narratives, becoming inspirations to others who walk a similar path.
As we navigate a world of rapid change and evolving norms, the wisdom behind, “The stone the builder rejected, now become the cornerstone,” remains as relevant as ever. It encourages us to embrace the unconventional, to view rejection as an opportunity for growth, and to recognize that what society may initially dismiss can ultimately redefine and reshape the very foundation of our lives.
In essence, the Stone the Builder Rejected, Now the Cornerstone, challenges us to value the overlooked, honor the unconventional, and find strength in our resilience. Just as the cornerstone provides stability and support, so too can our, rejected stones, lead us toward the solid ground on which we build our futures.
A lot of, entrepreneurs, don't achieve their, vision, because they're working in the business, not on the business. If you're a, small business owner, that's become the employee, and you're doing all the legwork, that means you don't have any time to become the CEO. You're just an employee. You're not looking at, vision, and you're not looking at the next steps. You're doing the legwork.
Entrepreneurs should work on their business Not In their business
Myrna: I know that, entrepreneurs, wear a lot of hats. I'm an, entrepreneur, and I do it all. You know what I mean? And I've always done it all. And I don't mind it. But I know that, entrepreneurs, tend to work hard in the business not working on the business. Robert Kiyosaki that if you work in your business, you are just like an employee, right, so how do you teach, entrepreneurs, to work on their business?
Curtis: A lot of, entrepreneurs, they put their heart and soul and their passion into it and work themselves into their jobs. So they went from a 40 hour a week job to an 80 hour week job because they're doing all these things. Being direct with the customers all the time. Being the one person that's collecting money, being the one person providing the service, or even if they have a team, the team doesn't do what you want them to do, so they say it's faster or easier for me to just do it myself. And you start training people to get paid for doing nothing because you're still always doing it.
Working on the business is taking a step back and looking at it. You have a business plan. Let's come up with an overall strategy, where we're trying to go, let's build the team. Let's put a budget together. Let's put, cashflow measures, in place that's going to teach us how our business is performing from a health perspective. Let's get all the measurements that we need: financial measurements, sales measurements, customer measurements and employee measurements and let start to look at the business holistically and start running it that way.
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Entrepreneurs should put systems in place
That way you start to focus more on how you get the right talent. How you move money in? Whether you need additional capital to grow your business or not and you have a better way of seeing an entire business. But business owners that come to me are always talking about how they're trying to get to the next level and or legacy. How do I take this business and give it to my kids? Well, you're not teaching them how to run a business. We're teaching them to do all the crazy things that you do. And they don't want no part of it.
So, it's how you run a business with being with other like-minded business leaders and not working at the business every day. A good example is you walk into a McDonald's, you don't see the CEO or even the owner that McDonald's at that business you see, systems, being run by teenagers.
Myrna: Yes, we can always McDonalds model for, systems.
Curtis: If you're the, business owner, that's become the employee, and you're doing all the legwork, that means you don't have any time to become the CEO. You're just an employee. You're not looking at, vision, and you're not looking at the next steps. You're doing the legwork.
Myrna: So that's right, but, you know, a lot of times the reason that, entrepreneurs, do everything is because they don't have any money to pay people. So how do you teach them to hire people with no money to pay them?
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What's your fastest path to cash
Curtis: Yeah, and this one comes up a lot. I ask them what's your, fastest path to cash? I recently became a business advisor for an organization where they only had just the two business partners. But they have a great product, a really great product. And so, they've spent a couple of years working with other organizations and they say, show me what's current. What's your current businesses, they had three contracts on the team.
They had two contracts that were very promising. And they had one contract that was going and lingering and I say, cut the contract that you're not going to see any cash and then focus on this cash or these two contracts. And when you do, you're going to have enough money to get your next employees, and that's exactly what they did. So, then they got the next employee and then got more contracts and then the next employee after that, and so even prior to them, getting employees we planned on who's going to be the next most effective employee to get this going to help us grow this business. And so now they have four employees.
They're growing the business, and you know, it took some time. So yeah, you got to be a, solopreneur, doing it all, but you got to find your, fastest path to cash. And think about as you get to that next level. What's the next most important person that you need to hire into your organization that's going to exponentially grow your business each time you add somebody else?
Small business owners should add strategic employees
Myrna: So, when you're looking to add someone, you're not necessarily looking for a lay man help. You're looking for a strategic person that can help you make more money. That's a good plan.
Curtis: In this case, they needed somebody that was very, very technical, to help them build their model on an application that they can present to potential customers. So, it took their model and actually made it better for them to present and then made them more attractive. So, then the next person was a now doing all this running around. We need a project manager to help us and so again, just building off of that, and then let's get some salespeople. So, it really depends on the direction that you're going.
Myrna: Yeah, that makes sense. Instead of saying let me get a receptionist just answering the phone
Why do you think that most, entrepreneurs, don't achieve their, vision? They may have a goal of $100 million a year in sales and don't even get close.
Curtis: You're so right. A lot of times that, vision, is monetary and I'm okay with the, vision, being monetary. But I try to dive a little bit deeper into your why. Because your why is what's going to motivate you to even go after that number. Because one of the things I say in the book is the first million is the hardest. And the reason I'm saying that is because you don't have a, system. Once you've reached it reached a million dollars and have a system, you start working your system and improving on the, system.
So, then you get better at it. But, you know, I talk to people about, business plans. This is where I would say, my sweet spot is here, right? And that is because I'm a, project manager. I'm a planner. So, you need someone to help keep you accountable. Small business owners, one of the things I talk about is having a board of advisors, right? So, develop a strategy, develop a set of goals and targets to that $100 million. And tell me what does that look like?
What does it look like in terms of your customer mix?
Your demographics, where's your office located?
How many employees do you have?
Give me that vision that's going to be so crystal clear and that 100 million starts to look like real and then we're going to develop plans. We're going to develop plans that take us from daily, weekly, monthly and quarterly activities that service today.
Now, when I work with clients, the one thing I say is do it for a year. I don't care what happens because in our minds, when we create that, vision, we want a linear path. Everything we said we were going to do is just going to happen. That is not life. Life is going to throw you a bunch of curveballs, but you got to stick to it. I mean we do it every year right what happens in January. The gyms are full of people. They are full of people because these people have, visions, of the best bodies they can have in the summertime. And by March, the people that normally go to the gym, they're relieved because they get rid of all those people.
Myrna: I just heard a statistic that is actually worse than that. And I don't even know if I believe it. But the statistics says it most of those people that make New Year's resolution, they abandon them by Martin Luther King's birthday, and that's mid-January!
Solopreneurs are always busy doing the wrong things
Curtis: You have to pivot. If your head is down all the time working on your business. I mean in your business. You can't work on your business by innovating and finding ways partnering with other people. So that's why it's important that if you want to grow, you have to get yourself out of your day-to-day operations.
And I know that's hard for a lot of, solopreneurs, because they always feel that they can do better than anybody and they want to do themselves. But yeah, because as a person, you've got a finite number of time.
Myrna: So, if we were to wrap what you are saying up in a bow, the reason that a lot of, entrepreneurs, don't achieve their, vision, is because they're working in the business, not on the business. They're basically they're busy doing the hamster wheel thing.
Curtis: Yes, we’ve glorify being busy. We always say how busy we are.
Myrna: That it's a badge of honor.
Curtis: Tim Ferriss had a great mix. One of the books that has inspired me, actually, about the Four-hour Workweek because it makes you start to think about how best to delegate and only focus on your value-added activities. It's something that for me from a productivity perspective, one of the four things that I do, to implement that into my day-to-day life.
Myrna: A lot of, solopreneurs, the one man operations, they're dreaming of being on their laptops on the beach doing their work, because they don't have a brick and mortar. Tim Ferriss made that very popular. So, alright, so that's amazing, right. So now, you have developed a program called the “Realization Framework Experience.” What is that? Tell us about that?
Curtis: Okay, so the, realization framework experience, is five steps and the five steps are:
Evaluate
Calculate,
Clarify and
Realize
I trademark the art and science of, vision to reality. And that was actually going to be the original title of my book. I was trying to figure out how, how can I help, small business owners, learn and behave like the large business owners with an easy to follow strategies. And so we've spent a little bit of time on the first one, visualize, and that's developing a compelling, vision, that inspires others to want to become a part.
One of the biggest things when I'm coaching is I'll ask a, business leader, what their goals are? I say does your team know what your goals are? They say no, it doesn't make sense. Because the next part is, evaluate, your business ecosystem or, evaluate, your people. Well, with the goals that you have. You look at your team, can your team help you get there? Do they have a role? Because that's what employees want. And so, you got to make sure that your employees understand where you're going, your customers understand where you're going, your suppliers understand where you're going, and anybody else in your, business ecosystem.
So, putting together the right team, evaluating the difference between your, vision, and where you are, and then figuring out whether you need to upskill people, let some people go and get some new people or add new talent. You need a plan for getting more people to help you reach that, vision. Then we go into, calculate, and this is all about, cash flow. When I ask people about their business, and I asked them about their books and their numbers, people aren't managing their, cash flow, very well. They're living payroll and payroll, and they're comfortable in that term. So, statistically, 82% of businesses fail, small businesses in particular, because they don't understand, cash flow. If, entrepreneurs, don't understand, cash flow, they don't have enough when there's a pandemic.
Small business owners need to calculate measurements
Then there is, clarify. I encourage, small business owners, to hire a financial professional to help them. When I work with large companies, there's always a quarterly meeting or even monthly meetings, weekly meetings on how are we doing with Financials. But we don't do that as, small business owners. We need to be looking at our numbers, we need to be planning forward. I do an exercise where I'm planning, cash flow. I ask Do you know what happened last week? What's gonna happen the next two weeks? I like to work with small business owners to get to an 80% predictability, especially with income.
Expenses are easy to predict, income is harder when it's erratic. So, you want to put in systems that make an erratic, you want to put in measures to help you collect your money faster. So, it's a whole thing around, evaluate, their cash flow, but you also want to create a budget that matches not only the people that you need to bring in, but the goals you have the, vision. Now you have the people, and then you have the budget. How are you going to manage? Do you have $1 set aside or at least plan?
You clarify this with a plan, you put together a plan that has these objectives, that has every factor in your business. Evaluate, on a daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly basis that leads up to that, vision, so that when you're looking at how well you're doing, everybody's telling you their progress on their parts, right? But you mentioned the pandemic, so I do also, risk analysis. So, people do, SWOT analysis, strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. I like, SWOT analysis.
So, STEP stands for societal, technological, economical, environmental and political. So you saw our pandemic, now that you've seen one, you know that there's recessions that come inflation is here. So how are you going to behave? Let's go through some scenario planning. Let's put aside some reserves and get ourselves ready for the next disaster and that's the best insurance you can have. Right? And so, that's, that's the four steps. The first step we realize is to Component Measures, we talk about. financial measures, customer measures, employee measures, and what we're trying to get to 100 million we need to break that down.
I'll give you an example of a $5 million company that I'm working with, and you have to get sales of $96,000 a week. So, when we're having a weekly conversation, it's how are we going to get that $96,000 Some weeks are really bad. Some weeks are really good. It's not always linear, but you're driving your actions to meet that minimum.
So, the first one is measures. The second part is, accountability. We talked about this earlier. Where, small business owners, don't have, accountability measures.
You know, I advise the, small business owners, to get an advisory board not like a corporate board of directors because that it has a lot more structure and a lot more legal ramifications tied to it. But a group of people that have done this business before and or have a specialty.
You can't grow what you can't measure
Myrna: Tony Robbins, one of his sayings is that you can't grow what you don’t measure that, you know, you got to you've got to be able to measure your progress. Right. And a lot of people don't like measuring their progress. They just, fly by the seat of their pants. Putting measures in places is very good. I remember when I was in sales, my boss was always measuring my progress. I hated it!
Tell us where they can get a copy of it your book “Vision To Reality, Stop Working, Start Living” and your website.
Curtis: So, this is my second book. My first book I wrote was called “The Only Job Search Book You'll Ever Need.” And I had met with a marketing organization who's part of my marketing team now. And they started interviewing me and I thought we were talking about the next book, The career the next career. And I talked about, business coaching and they said, that's the book you should write. So, I said, Okay, so let me let me get all of this on paper. So, I started looking back at my computer files, all the people that I coached. Entrepreneurs, who won't try anything different. The ones that quit if it didn't work right away, the ones that said, I'm not going to do that.
The ones that don't trust nobody. Nobody can do this like me. So, I delved into the mindset, and basically say, hey, you gotta get out your own way. This is hard, you don't want to give your baby to somebody or so you don’t get to develop these trust mechanisms. And so that's the first thing I do is try to develop rapport and trust with, business leaders, because I know your people have been naysaying you and telling you what you can't do and part of you believes it.
The second part is how can I make it easy? bridge that gap. What can I do to put a formula in place to help you and that's the remedies, right? That's the, realization framework experience, the things that are the key that business owners can do with me, to develop the muscles, right? And then they can start to believe in themselves believe in the business and just keep going and believe in other people. And then the third part is okay, now that you're here, don't backslide. Right, don't go back. Let's put some things in place. And that's when I talk about the, accountability measures, and constantly training yourself to go after the, vision.
The book is available on Amazon, Barnes and noble or wherever books are sold. My website is www.cljassoc.com
Keep Your, Vision, in Front of you – Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.
In OUT OF THE SNARES, MYRNA BERNADETTE TROTMAN shares her story of child abuse, poverty and her success as an entrepreneur. As a certified, Life Coach, she shares ten undeniable resources she used to help her achieve success and live the American Dream. This inspirational and motivational book will help you to reach your potential and achieve new levels of success in your life. Get these ten principles based on biblical principles and Universal Laws, deep down in your spirit and boldly go in the direction of your destiny:
Principle # 1. Keep Your Vision in Front of you –
Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.
Like a Blacksmith, you need to keep hitting the Anvil, pounding it daily, shaping your dreams
If you build it they will come
Don't let life's challenges knock you off course remember:
“Circumstances does not make the man, it reveals him to himself” ~ James Allen
Man is the Lord and Master of his thoughts and thus is the maker of himself.
In my book “Out of the Snares” I tell a compelling story of my, vision, of America as my promised land. My Land of milk and honey. I kept that, vision, in front of me and kept picking myself up after each failure believing that I would succeed, and I did.
A few weeks ago I was talking to a young leader, trying to upgrade his, vision casting, skills. I gave him four simple tips about communicating, vision.
1. CLARITY. Leaders, must create clarity by narrowing the focus when casting, vision. Everything that can be done in the name of God is not sign at all. It is a sign of undisciplined thinking. The leader’s job is to focus the organization on the core essentials. The more we focus on and clarify essentials, the easier it is to identify and eliminate non-essentials.
2. COMPELLING. Once your goals are clarified, it must be communicated in a way that is compelling. A, leader, who makes an unprepared sloppy presentation can make an otherwise exciting goals seem boring. Compelling, goals, produces action. Boring goals produces nothing.
3. COMMITMENT. Casting a clear and compelling, vision, without calling for commitment is a waste of everyone’s time. Real, leaders, are committed and they call others to commitment. Some leaders are hesitant to demand sacrificial commitment because they are not all-in themselves. Commitment is an example that leaders set, not a message they teach. Leadership commitment is contagious. So is leadership non-commitment.
4. COMMUNITY. Clear and compelling goals attracts committed people. As these people sacrifice for the common, community happens. Trying to create community for the sake of community creates unhealthy ingrown short-lived community. Doing goals together creates strong healthy long-term community.
SUMMARY. As a leader, you are the visionary for your church, ministry, or organization. If you communicate clear and compelling, if you model and call for commitment, you will end up with a strong healthy community. You will also accomplish your dreams.
You can, have it all. Is it possible to have a passionate marriage, a thriving career, a healthy beautiful body, more money that you ever dreamed of, and enough downtime to enjoy it without running yourself ragged.
Christy Whitman. is a Transformational Leader, Celebrity Coach and the New York Times Bestselling Author of “The Art of, Having It All” she has appeared on The Today Show and the Morning Show and her work has been featured in, People's Magazine, Seventeen, Women's Day, Hollywood Life, and Teen Vogue, among others Christy is also the CEO and founder of the, Quantum Success Learning Academy and Quantum Success Coaching Academy, a 12-month Law of Attraction program.
Christy has helped thousands of people worldwide to achieve their goals through her empowerment seminars, speeches and coaching sessions and products. Christy's life changing message reaches over 200,000 people per month and her work has been promoted by and featured with esteemed authors and luminaries such as Marianne Williamson, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Marci Shimoff, Brian Tracy, Neale Donald Walsch, Abraham-Hicks, and Louise Hay. She currently lives in Arizona with her husband, Frederic, and their two boys, Alexander and Maxim. You can meet her on the web at www.QuantumSuccessBook.com,
I read your bio and I'm thinking wow this woman is where I want to be. So we're going to start out by just asking you a kind of a background question you've accomplished quite a lot. Can you tell us your journey to this point in your career in life.
Searching for purpose
Well, I basically did everything that my parents told me, you know, Go get a degree, get a good job, put money in the Bank, have a nice fit body, find a guy! I had all that, and still I was just really really empty. I wasn't really happy. I was missing an essential part of myself. So I started going on a search for meaning.
I had this you know like when you're really thirsty for water that's how I felt spiritually. I felt like I just didn't know that there's wasn’t any real purpose or meaning in what I was doing. It seemed like the more money I made, it didn’t make me any happier. I went on this quest and really learned about meditation and learned about how our thoughts create our reality and learned about energy and how we are either attracting things to us or repelling things from us.
All these different philosophies started changing me, and I started changing my thoughts one by one and started shifting my energy and things literally just started shifting before my eyes. When I was searching at one point I was thirty pounds overweight, $60,000 in debt, I had just broken up with the latest bad guy, and I moved to California and I didn’t know anybody.
I Had quit my job also so I I had nothing going on in my life, when I found this information and it was amazing because within just a very few short weeks I got a great job, I was transferred to a different part of California, I found a really wonderful man, and I was in an eight-year relationship with, my body naturally went back to normal size.
Using the Law of attraction to have it all
Things were just flowing and easy, and what I was learning about was the universal laws that I now teach. I’ve shared my experiences of how I’ve created a great career, maintained my weight, and attracted an ideal partner. I've been coaching on, Law of Attraction, and, Universal Laws. Besides the, Law of Attraction, I just share my experiences and I share what I do, and what I learned and what I know not to do, and I just created an amazing business.
I'm serving people, and seeing people transform, and I feel passionate about it. Each and every day, back when I when I was in that space, I was making money, I was a pharmaceutical rep, but I didn't feel like I was on purpose. I didn't feel like what I was doing really had much meaning and so I started to really connect with the feeling of what would it feel like that if I did something and I was on purpose?
I didn't know what purpose looked like, but I started just allowing myself to feel that the essence of the purpose, of what it would just feel like. Even if I didn't know the how or the form or anything and then what happened with amazing. I had a book downloaded through me and that became my first book “Perfect Pictures.” I got it published and my family and friends all bought the book and it wasn't like they were the ones to read self-help books.
I started speaking at Spiritual Book Stores and Churches and while I was doing that, doing workshops on my book, I would take people through meditations and they started asking me to coach them. I had no idea back then, and we were talking you know 16 years ago, 17 years ago. I had no idea what Life Coaching was and most people didn't. I decided to just have people call me on the phone and started really appreciating their transformation. I'm grateful that my stuff it's universal and it helps every single person, no matter what circumstance or situation there going through. We can change all of it by knowing and applying these laws.
Tips for having it all
That's an awesome story I Absolutely love it. Dr Wayne Dyer says that that's how he's written all this books. He wakes up at 3.15 am in the morning and it's just downloaded. I just completed a series with the author of the Millennial’s Playbook to Adulting, Millennials do just that.
Whether it's their parents or a guidance counselor or somebody they find a job, they find the guy, and then they get married or something but it doesn't light them up it doesn't light them up because they’re going about it based on the jobs that's available or income or something along those lines. It's a great thing to teach because whenever you are on purpose and whenever something lights you up and whenever you follow the, Laws of the Universe, which most people don't know what they are, you find happiness.
Most people don't understand the, Laws of Attraction, and how thoughts work. That's the only way that you can design your life. I'm glad that we're going to be diving into that subject in our next episode; but today we want to talk about your book “The Art of, Having it All,” I'm jumping ahead of myself. Before we get in to that. I want to bring attention to the word you used to introduce your coaching program “Quantum Success.”
I love the word that you use to introduce your coaching program. I follow Deepak Chopra. He was my first mentor and when I wrote my first book which was called “Becoming Conscious, my Awakening” I talked about the Quantum and synchro destiny; but you're calling it, Quantum Success; so my follow-up question is “what do you feel is the blueprint to your coaching program and what is your definition of quantum success and, having it all, ?”
Using Quantum energy to have it all
I want to say I'm not a superwoman, I'm just an ordinary woman that has learned about universal laws and, having it all. Every single person listening have the power to create your life the way you want it. Quantum success, for me it was really about, I lived the first part of my life not, having it all, so far pushing, striving, setting goals, it was really when I found the knowledge, and the information on energy and that I understood, the energy that you hold while you're moving towards something is even more important than the inert action of the goal.
We're both physical and non-physical beings. If you're not doing that from a place of alignment then any momentum that you take is a waste of energy, it's a waste of time. You know a lot of times people are moving they're doing stuff and they're taking tons of action and it's eventually going to give them the success that they want; but they're going to hit a wall because if their thought process is different or their emotions on how they feel about themselves or even the way they think about themselves, the way they reflect on themselves, the way they judge and solve problems.
All of that stuff holds us back from really being able to allow the alignment and the flow of the, Quantum field, or what some call God, what some call Goddess. That consciousness that create whatever you want. When you start to bring in deliberately, having it all, the kind of energy that you want to experience, whether its success, or love, or abundance, or prosperity, or security.
Success is having it all
As long as you're doing it consistently, because everything is vibration. So when you do the action and take the action towards what you want to manifest and align your thoughts your emotions your perspective with succeeding, in that space of success. You imagine what would success look like? What does, having it all, look like? What would successful feel like?
If you had the career that you really wanted, that was firing on all cylinders what would that look like for you? I wrote in my last book “The Art of, Having It All,” It’s really about what does having it all look like to you. Is, Having it All, someone else’s definition? It's what lights you up that moves you forward. It's a life force that’s pulsating through you, that wants to become something more. It's up to us as, that non-physical part of that energy.
Cooperate with it instead of trying to cut it off and that's what most people do. Complaining and judging other people or they play like a victim. All those things are literally slicing up and siphoning off your life force energy, and it won't move you towards the desires that you want. We need to ask ourselves. How do I want to feel?
Then start to as much as you can, as often as you can, get in that feeling place. I mean the good thing is about the, Quantum field, is that this is a holographic universe and so any emotion that has ever been felt can be easily felt by you. Circumstances and situations don't have to happen. We have the capacity as human beings to visualize and to feel our way into things, and to change a thought and you know these are all things that we can do because the thoughts that we have are not real, so we have to direct our thoughts towards what we want and why we want it, to, having it all, and how we want to feel.
Your vortex holds your un-manifested desires
That is awesome, we are so in sync on the things. My next question we're going to be talking a little bit about Abraham Hicks; she talks about the, vortex, when I do my meditation that's what I say. Everything in my vortex will be eventually be available to me, if not immediately but eventually. It’s all about vibration. I was listening to podcast last week and the guest was saying we have Three superpowers, and one of the superpowers was imagination. He reminded me that anything we can imagine, we can create. Whether you're imagining what you want or what you're imagining what you don't want it's real and it's going to manifest.
A lot of people think our, vortex, is outside of ourselves; but the, vortex, is within us. The, vortex, is inside us, so it's not something we have to wait for. It's like we just have to get into alignment with it because it's already there. It's the Creator that pulses pulsates through us. I'm going to get into a discussion of energy for a second. Most people think I'm going to manifest something or, Law of Attraction; but thoughts always create some kind of emotional reaction.
It's really the emotions, so we're viewing something we see something like a tree we look at the tree and we just kind of have the stimulus, we perceive it without eyes and we enjoy it. So energy is flowing in and it's flowing out, it's just kind of like a stimulus we see the ocean it comes in and it comes out. Well when someone says something rude to us or says something hurtful, or maybe you get in car accident, or you lose a loved one, or your bill comes and you can't pay it or whatever it is.
Those moments in life cause us to constrict our energy and we create blocks around it. Those blocks also create a vortex of energy because energy has to continue to move, it goes out, or it goes up, because that is constantly moving, it's never ending. So if energy come through and instead of feeling an emotion, like how that person hurt us or that person was rude or that person made us angry, we constrict the energy.
That creates a block and then that creates a vortex, that vortex is active, it's alive. That's the, vortex, that creates a thought and then the thoughts create a belief. It then creates some kind of physical manifestation of it and then we go, see it's true. You say No matter what I do, I can't seem to get ahead. Men are always cheating on me. We have to be careful and aware of where we're getting energetically charged and start to release those blocks, so that we can get back in that free flow again of feeling the love and the alignment.
The Art of having it all
I do the work, I want to be, having it all, I don't only coach; but I do a lot of mind work because I'm aware at that everything starts in the mind, which is why I call this podcast “The Transform your Mind” because everything starts there. But I loved about the, quantum field, as it relates to success. I actually never thought about it that way until you mentioned it; but you said if you want to move towards something because that's the, quantum field, that's energy that's moving and you have to be an alignment to that goal.
If you I want to red Mercedes but then immediately you say well I can never afford it, that's what you’re talking about, as far as you're not moving in alignment. I Actually absolutely love putting it all together. If you want success you've got to hold what you want in front of you so that you can be strategically moving towards it and also be aware of the energy that you're talking about. If you've got stuck energy, you've got blocked energy or you you're feeling bad then you're actually blocking your flow.
So, the next question I Want to ask you is about the luminaries and thought leaders that you mentioned in your bio. I love them all I didn't know much about Marianne Wilkinson, but I love Dr Wayne Dyer, I'm listening to two of his audio books right now. One is on Balance which is almost the same thing we're talking about today.
I have a Neale Donald Walsch book in my library “Conversations with God” It was one of the best books I have read. I studied that book. And Abraham Hicks, love her. There's was a point in time that I meditated with her every morning. I Picked those three because those are the ones that I know. So what are some of the lessons that you've learned from these luminaries as it you know as it relates to our topic today? Having it all, and, Quantum Success?
I heard of Wayne Dyer probably about 20 years ago. My therapist at the time she was a spiritual psychotherapists, she brought in the spiritual approach, she would hand me CDs, actually back then it was cassette tapes of Wayne Dyer and Marianne Williamson, and so they were my first two early teachers.
There are only 2 emotions love and fear
I really liked the perspective that Marianne talks about because she would talk about the Course In Miracles and how there's really only two emotions, either love or fear; so that really helped me start to connect with the energy and paying attention between, high vibration, or, low vibration, and then of course Wayne Dyer was huge for me in the whole getting in the perspective of my thoughts.
During that time that's when I was learning that your thoughts create your reality and so I was learning that not all thoughts are real and that we have places where as normal human beings we typically automatically think in these ways and for me it was like wow okay, so I'm normal right and yet I have to change these if I want to continue to change my life.
His work has always just been really touched my soul and in the time that I've been able to meet him and you know it just he really is one of those people that really was because he's passed on, but he really walks his talk. He truly was a lightworker and I could feel that it around him and it was there was an authenticity that and of what he taught and how he lived so that's what I learned about and appreciate him.
He was a very humble man and he never felt better than other people and he really had taught me a lot about ego and in keeping the ego in check and in that sort of thing. The Power of Intention, I mean that's an incredible book. I've been following Abraham Hicks Probably around the equal amount of time around 20 years and I was given a cassette from a little group that I was in in Redding California and I listened to them and you know listening test or channel Abraham and it was like whoa this is really strange and weird and yet I felt good listening to it, not only the words this used but the vibration that I felt.
As a pharmaceutical rep I had a big area in California, I would drive around with a cassette recorder on my passenger seat with all these different cassettes. I was really a tuning into a different perspective, I always write whether you know you buy someone's book and you read the book while you're just going to bed at night or you're driving around the car and you listen to a podcast that bless you or you know some kind of media where you're getting a different perspective than what most people think and how most people think because that's going to help you change your perspective. If you're inundated with the news and you know things like that and around a lot of people that are negative it's very hard to get out of that space unless you do something deliberately.
Saying yes to having it all
We're going to get in it to our topic today which is, “Having it All”, or “The, Art of, Having It All” so let me give you a little bit about you know the more a little tidbit that I picked up from you know reading the synopsis of the book. Christy in your book you ask “ ?” You ask the question like a lawyer asks the question a rhetorical question that we know the answer and your answer was a resounding “YES”
Absolutely exactly right. In the, Art of Having it all, you shared precise steps you took to create radical turn arounds in the midst of potentially devastating real-life situations. Freeing yourself of nearly $90,000 of unwanted debt, 30 extra pounds, navigating the turbulent waters of divorce, and this last two are really hard for most people, the grief of your sister's suicide, and the life-threatening illness of your newborn son.
As I read that I get goose bumps on it because you know that's a lot of stuff to have to deal with and I know we've touched on the energy and most of this beforehand as we talked in your bio, and some of the questions to answered already; but can you tag on to anything that you haven't talked about. What advice you'd give out listeners who are going through, as we call it the wilderness of the storm, in their lives right now.
Absolutely all of those things that you mentioned all of them, I got through and grew from them and had them turn out even better than I could have even imagined, because of the fact that I knew about the Universal Laws and that I knew about lack and energy and Lack in abundance and, I knew about emotions and all that. I knew that I needed to focus on my perspective on, having it all, my sons, my marriage, so just even in the case of my son Maxim, when he was 2 months of age he was rushed to the hospital and he had to have open-heart surgery as a tiny little baby.
Crazy, the miracles that were around that are just like the story is incredible. Typically babies that have a transposition of the arteries are usually found in the mother's womb, they see it in the ultrasound and then they do a heart surgery on them, probably one to two days of life, two days of the latest. If they don't catch it, it's usually within you know the first week and if it's not caught within the first week babies usually die in the crib if it's not detected. Wow!
Yeah, he was two months of age and the only thing that kept him alive is he had a little hole between both of his arteries and the valve that closes when a baby typically has their first few breaths, his didn't close so he was barely breathing which we didn't realize; but he if they did ever did this type of surgery on the baby this old so it was just the fact that he was just there and he was wanting to be there.
It's like, I knew that he was going to be fine and so I went I Told my husband I'm like okay listen we can't have anybody else's negative energy we can't have fear we can't have any of this around the situation. The only visual I'm going to hold taking Maxim home with his brother Alex, And the three of you wrestling and growing up and taking vacations and taking them to Disneyland and taking him camping and you know just like all these visions absolutely.
All these different watching and play baseball and so that was the only vision. Our family was freaking out and scared, of course we had to process our own emotions because it was an emotional roller coaster; whenever we were around him we didn't let in any fear energy. We would clear ourselves before we would walk in the hospital to see him and very selective of who we let around him and stuff and we did that because it's like we just wanted to keep in the positive space we wanted to keep in that energy flow of all good things and any possibility of negativity or fear or any lower-level emotions we wanted to keep it out of the creation; because it was it was imperative.
I'm happy to say that he's now seven-year-old boy, he's been cleared for years. He's got a perfect heart. I mean the surgery that they did was two months is like growing with him it's amazing yeah just the coolest kid and you know and just very grateful I mean just amazing and you know so it's that alone you know we would sit there and deliberately write down like okay what are the positive aspects about the situation nothing will go my God your child almost died is in the hospital ICU.
How could you even look for a positive in that situation? Well for me, we had to because we had to keep our vibration high, so I would write out, how I'm grateful how I was at the best Children's Hospital in all of North America, I was grateful that we were close to home and that we had family to take care of our son Alex during the day so we could be with Maxim. Grateful that all the nurses loved him and just all the positive aspects nothing but.
It's a universal law if you're in lack and limitation you cannot create abundance from that place and so you have to get into it's the law of sufficiency and abundance, you have to get into the place of being at peace, feeling that it's sufficient, it's good enough. You don't have to be over the moon excited about it, but at least coming from that place of appreciation and gratitude looking for what's right and good and stuff what's wrong and bad and when you do that your life will continue to change contrast will show up it shows up for every single person but it's how what you do with the contrast when it happens whether it's really extreme or it's minor you know some people get really reactive and how big emotional reactions over very small things and then when things come they're just like oh my God you know so we have to know how to manage our energy.
I'm Going to redress something, I experienced suicide in my family myself. My daughter was engaged to be married, she was planning her wedding and her fiancé, shot himself and committed suicide and like you I'm a very positive person, I wouldn't say that I know how to work energy like you are because you're an expert on that, but in my life I've had a lot of challenges and you know you say that you can look at your book of wars and in my book of wars told me that almost every challenge that I faced, had a positive outcome just like you can you can see now but your son when that incident happened; but for the life of me I couldn't find the positive in that, suicide.
Now I think I'd go back in and I and I think that the positive maybe, like my pastor talked yesterday that sometimes God breaks you so that he can fit you in for your purpose. I think that my daughter came out of that situation a stronger person but at the time I couldn't find the positive, so how did you find the positive energy in your sister’s suicide? There's a lot of suicides going on right now so maybe someone is listening that can benefit from some advice on how to deal with someone close to you committing, suicide?
Dealing with suicide
This is a great question. For me I remember just feeling that I have to make a decision for myself because she chose what she chose and we can't control what other people choose, it was her life it was her decision even Abraham Hicks says that every death is really a suicide. Anyways when someone takes their own life we make it mean so much and it is shocking and it is traumatic, it's not like someone gets a disease and they get degenerative because of that and then they pass, this is something that's horrible, taking that away either but when someone abruptly ends their life in such a dramatic way it is very traumatic on everybody around them.
I would look at my sister it's like okay she chose what she chose what do I get to choose from my life? Then I started asking myself those questions. What do I want for my life? Why do I want these things? How am I going to want to feel? Really start to feel that way; but during the process I will tell you I allowed myself to feel my feelings, when I felt angry at the situation at her and anything I've processed my anger. I didn't go and beat anybody up.
I mean there's a proprietary process, anger right it's not raging it's not hurting another person but I would feel my anger. I would yell into a pillow, there's things you can do that are constructive for you that and as long as you're feeling the energy of those emotions and you're not bottling move it and I what you're saying yes yeah If I needed to cry, I would cry. I gave myself permission to cry whenever I Felt like. I needed to cry, I would excuse myself and I will go cry.
Conclusion
Christy I Want to thank you so much for being an awesome guest. Our conversation today on, having it all, was very inspirational and like I said I learned a lot from you. Looking forward to our next talk, we are going to dive a little deeper into “How to use the 7 essential Laws of Attraction to create a thriving joyful and prosperous relationship with your work and money.” I Want to thank everyone for tuning in today to on the radio at www.wdjyfm.com in Metro Atlanta. This podcast is distributed to iTunes, TuneIn radio, Stitcher, Google play and now also on iHeart radio. I would love everyone who’s listening to subscribe so that the podcast can rank higher on iTunes and more people like you can listen to awesome messages like the one we have today. so Christy Until next time Namaste
As a Life Coach, I know that the secret to, personal growth, is to consciously plan for it. It doesn't just happen. We all know the acorn lives in the oak tree! But unlike the Oak tree, personal growth, is not pre-programmed into your DNA. You need to have a plan for, personal growth.
“You can't see the picture if you are the frame”~ Les Brown
Hire a, Life coach, invest in you!. A, Life coach, is able to Help you see the entire picture.
Think about it. When you were growing up, your pediatrician would have you stand by a growth chart and he was able to determine how healthy you were by your growth as it related to his growth chart.
In a similar way, you can determine your professional health by your, personal growth, chart.
Did you stop growing and learning when you left school? The secret to, personal growth, is that you have to plan to grow every day?
That management promotion you are asking God for will not come if you don’t proactively do the work to acquire the skills. That spouse or healthy relationship will not come unless you proactively work at becoming the best you. Your business will not grow unless you have a growth plan, commonly called a business plan.
Below is Starbucks proactive plans for, Personal Growth:
The People’s Republic Of Starbucks
Speaking last month at an investors' conference in Seattle, Belinda Wong, head of Starbucks in China, said the company was opening an outlet every day on average in the world’s second-largest economy.
“This year we have a higher ambition,” she told shareholders. “We will open on average one store every 18 hours.”
The company just opened its 1,500th outlet in the country, considered a milestone for the company that views China as a major source of growth this year. It wants 3,000 outlets by 2019, compared with its current 11,000 in the U.S.
Unlike in the U.S., Starbucks in China targets affluent cosmopolitan professionals and students, and puts stores near where they shop, study or work.
“Starbucks’ China and Asia-Pacific region is one of the new target areas for the company, where it intends to focus its near-term growth. Starbucks,” said a research note from Trefis.
The first and most important thing in, personal growth and development, is to figure out what projects you are dealing with. First, what is a project? My definition is anything that takes more than a few easy tasks to get done. Setting up that new sales software? That’s a project. Expanding your network? Yep, that’s a project, too. Growing your business? That’s a collection of projects!
Some of your, self improvement, projects will be pretty obvious, but others will lurk in the background unacknowledged. To unearth all of your projects, write down everything you’re currently working on and everything you want to be working on. Then, group that list around specific, personal growth, goals.
That action will likely lead you to your project list. You may have 10 to 20 (or even more) projects on this list, but to be effective, you’ll want to pick the two to five projects that are most important, and focus on those for the remaining tips.
2. Give your personal growth projects a start and end date.
You should know (or decide) when each, self improvement, project should start and end. This will allow you to sequence projects by prioritizing them based on when they need to start or be finished. Start and end dates will also allow you to plan around your own business cycles and prevent projects from going on for much longer than they should.
3. Make a one-page plan for Self Improvement
A little, personal growth and development, planning goes a long way to helping a project succeed. To create a one-page plan, jot down your answers or notes for each of the following questions:
• What problem will the project solve?
• What is the benefit to the organization?
• What kind of staff and budget do I need?
• What are the major milestones?
• What are the potential stumbling blocks?
• What risks does this project pose?
• What is my work, self improvement, plan (list of tasks or sub-items to be completed by when)?
• What are the specific metrics for success?
• How will you know the project is done?
Note: if you’re going to keep the plan to one page, your answers need to be relatively concise!
For any project that involves multiple team members, set up communication routines in advance. Will someone be reporting progress weekly? Monthly? Will there be a recurring call for all parties to check in? Who is responsible for checking on whether the project is meeting its milestones?
5. Know if and when to quit personal development
In the, personal development, space, it’s best to finish what you start, sometimes it’s necessary to pull the plug. If you have all of your projects laid out, with start and end dates and a clear one-page plan that includes milestones and communication guidelines, you should have all the information you need to know when to quit a project.
Certainly it’s not always easy to quit, especially if you’ve already committed a lot of time, energy and emotion. But if a, personal development, project is dragging on.
Here are some questions that can help you think through whether or not to abandon your, personal development, Goals:
• Is the goal of this, personal growth, project still important to my organization?
• What was the planned ROI for this project? What is the ROI now?
• What is my opportunity cost in working on this? Could I better achieve my goals by spending this time on other projects?
• What is the emotional toll of continuing with this project.
Finally, commit to Constant and Never Ending Improvement (CANI) that is, self improvement.
In my book “Out of the Snares” I share that as a Limousine Operator, I went to the National Limousine Association annual meeting in Las Vegas every year. Every year I would practice, personal growth and development, by learning from the best operators in the business on how to use technology, improve on services and expand on my products. That allowed me to have a 30% annual growth rate and win the Entrepreneur of the year award in 1998. My intention was to become the largest operator in the Greater Toronto area and have a fleet of over 100 limousines. The secret? A, personal growth, plan!.
“Reach for the moon, even if you miss, You will land among the Stars” ~ Les Brown
The Importance of Constant and Never-Ending Improvement required for, personal growth
• Sometimes when you’re prepared to step out and be different you’re going to cop some criticism
• Don’t wait until you’ve got everything 100% right before you get started. Get it 80% right and then continue to improve it as you go
• By being different – you will also be memorable!
• Have high targets to stretch you for, personal growth. They said man would never land on the moon…but he did. If you don’t aim high, you’ll never get where you want to be.
• Fear is what stops you from setting what people would say are ‘unrealistic goals’
• The famous Australian Cricket batsman, Sir Donald Bradman had this philosophy every time he came out to bat: I’m going to hit it for 6! If I don’t get a 6, then I may get a 4. If I don’t get a 4 then I’ll get either a 3 or a 2 or a 1. But at least I’ll get something!
• The average Real Estate Agent in earns $23,000 – $24,000. You can’t afford to be average!
• It’s not about selling…it’s about people. Be a people-helper because that is the key to your success in sales
• A Real Estate client’s lifetime value is $127,000. If you look after them and keep in contact with them. What’s the lifetime value of your clients?
• Provide a guarantee for your clients and this will give you the edge over your competition
• If you’re prepared to step out and take risks – and overcome your fears – you will become a leader in your industry
• Develop your daily rituals of success
• Exercise will help you keep your stress levels low and enable you to be more productive
• We spend too much time wasting our time – and not improving ourselves
• Shut up and listen! Really listen! If you can’t work out your client’s needs in the first 10 – 15 minutes, then you shouldn’t be in sales
• Honesty and Transparency are crucial to long term success
• Serve others and not yourself
Pick up your copy of “Out of the Snares” and understand the how having a, Life coach, can help you grow intentionally by helping you see the “Picture in the Frame” . Learn how to get motivated by your passion and natural abilities. “Out of the Snares” is the story of my vision to become a US citizen and my journey to leaving a Legacy for my children. The secret to my growth was I committed to constant and never ending improvement.
Iowa farmer Ray Kinsella hears a voice in his corn field tell him, If you build it they will come. He interprets this message as an instruction to build a baseball field on his farm, upon which appear the ghosts of Shoeless Joe Jackson and the other seven Chicago White Sox players banned from the game for throwing the 1919 World Series. When the voices continue, Ray seeks out a reclusive author to help him understand the meaning of the messages and the purpose for his field.
These are just a few examples of men who dared to dream and build something that would serve others.
But this phrase does not only apply to baseball fields and technology.
Anything you build, they will come. If you build IT they will come, the IT can be anything you can think of.
Put another way
In my book “Out of the Snares” the voices in my head, my field was “my promised land”
The voices in my dreams kept telling me, if I built it they will come. My promised land, I would leave a Legacy for my children.
I have internalized this phrase. It has become my truth. I know without a shadow of doubt, that if I build it they will come. Anything I build, they will come.
As a Life coach and motivational speaker, I am building my business now. I built my radio show and podcast and now I have listeners around the world. I have built my brand on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. I blog several times per month. I have authored 3 books.
Here is a story to illustrate, that if you build it they will come. It is about the mother of a Downs Syndrome child who wanted to attend college. The College had to build a program for inclusion of special needs students. They built it, and the students came, proving, that, if you build it they will come.
Several years ago, a young woman attending a special needs graduate course there piped up at the end of class and asked her professor, “What is this college doing for inclusion?” The professor thought a moment and then turned it into a homework assignment (“The other students hated me,” she laughed.): Design and write out what you think a college program for special needs should look like. If ,Field of Dreams, taught us anything, If you build it they will come.
The students designed what became the University Participant (UP) Program, a fully inclusive 2-year program–full residence, dorms, classes, work, support, communication, goals, accountability–and soon found one student with special needs who wanted to come. “We were building the airplane as we were flying it,” Dr. Kelly Kelley remembers. “So you built it,” I asked, “but how did you fund it?” “Passion,” she quickly answered. Speaking of passion, let me explain how I landed in North Carolina last week. Right before Nella’s birthday this year, I received an e-mail from Liz, another mom of a little girl with Down syndrome.
I had written a post expressing interest in organizations helping adults with Down syndrome, specifically in relation to post-secondary educational opportunities. Liz responded, telling me about Ruby’s Rainbow, the organization she and her husband had just started in 2011, providing scholarships for people with Down syndrome to attend college. In four years, Ruby’s Rainbow has already helped fund 42 people’s college dreams. The thing is, a lot of people don’t realize that “people with Down syndrome attending college” is even a phrase. And how can we raise money for it if people don’t know it exists? I wanted to help bring attention to the incredible work Liz and Ruby’s Rainbow is doing, but I was also curious–what does this even look like? One phone call with Liz, and we were scheming.
Let’s go to college. Let’s go visit two Ruby’s Rainbow scholarship recipients and let them tell the story. Let’s peek into the window of possibilities for our own girls. Let’s see what can happen when one person begins with a question: “What are we doing to help? “ Thanks to an incredibly accommodating college that quickly set up a full day’s agenda to give us a thorough day-in-the-life experience, and two individuals who were eager to share their story with us, we were on our way early Wednesday morning last week to make the two-hour drive from our hotel to Cullowhee, North Carolina. Our first stop: The Office of Residential Living where Zach gets paid to work 10 hours a week as an office assistant to supplement his college experience. A handsome young man, sharply dressed, stepped away from his computer to greet us when we arrived. He shook our hands and introduced himself, answered our questions about what he does and paused to answer the phone when it rang or tend to the front desk when his office mate asked for help.
Now some of you know that sometimes, okay most times, especially for startup companies “You build it, they do Not come.”
Sometimes you have to go get the clients instead of waiting for them to come.
Here is an excerpt that displays If you build it they will come
I am not sure my version of this quote would have worked for Kevin Costner and the movie, Field of Dreams, but it would certainly have saved countless entrepreneurs from disappointment and defeat.
There’s no shortage of savvy startups that will never get off the ground or designer duds that won’t grace the catwalk. Just because a product is out there doesn’t guarantee that consumers will come. Great ideas without equally great promotion are as good as non-existent.
It’s just like the age old question?
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?
The same can be said for great ideas and products. If consumers never discover or buy them, are they still great? I have fallen victim to the false pretense that if I only built something, consumers would come right over and consume it. But my first failed business taught me otherwise.
At the ripe old age of 21, I managed to convince two successful entrepreneurs — after multiple pitch meetings and business plan revisions — to invest in my media company, despite the fact that I knew nearly nothing about media.
What I wanted was to create the leading online men’s lifestyle magazine, complete with highlights on where to eat, what to wear, where to travel — and I called it Debonair. The idea was much more novel in the early 2000’s before the flood of publications now devoted to gents — and the idea was good (Thrills and Urban Daddy launched similarly oriented sites shortly after to much success).
They wrote me a check for $100,000 and just like that I was in business. But contrary to my mistaken notion, it wasn’t as simple as having the seed money, building the site and just watching everything fall into place. I believed that, if you build it they will come. I wasn’t popping champagne and toasting with the big boys like I thought I’d be. Not even close. The next two years were trying times, and I was swimming in a sea of startups that knew more than I did.
I poured every dollar I had into a fancy website with what I believed were all the right bells and whistles and pricey photography that had made glossy magazines so sought after and I figured that was all it would take. When the traffic didn’t come, I blamed it on the site design, the logo, the font, the layout, the photos. I became victim to the “better is the enemy of best” syndrome, redoing the same thing over and over and over again trying to perfect it for the public. By the time I bypassed the fluff changes and figured out search engine optimization, pay-per-click, buying lists and marketing — it was too late.
I lost every last cent of my seed money, and Debonair flopped.
If you build it they will come so become a visionary
Five years later, I tried again. This time with Sourcing Journal, a trade publication.
Unless your jeans have three legs, it isn’t a new idea. If you want to build a brand, build it. Forget the wealthy heirs to family businesses or those who get large venture capital funding. If that isn’t you, like it wasn’t me, you will have to be a doer and figure it out. Go get some orders, no matter what product you have. Borrow money for purchase order financing to produce the product and pay the too-high rates if need be. Be scrappy, be an entrepreneur, make it happen.
Focus on distribution. Technology has changed the game, so use it to help get the word out there, build hype and sell, sell, sell. Do not wait for the people to come because you could be waiting a long time. Knock down the proverbial door and keep going. And when you get that order from Barneys, or Macy’s or Bed Bath and Beyond, call me. I’d be happy to make that product for you.
Not because you built it, but because you got it built it, and they did not come. hem to come proving that, if you build it they will come.
Here Are Five Reasons That, If You Build It They Will Come.
1. Make sure that there is a need for what you are building. If you are a startup company. Do your research, know the demographics of your target market.
2. Be prepared to keep at it until you win. If something does not work, change your approach. If that does not work, change it again. Keep changing your approach until you win. There is a winning solution and that is, lucid dreaming! Most people give up when success is just around the corner. Don't let fear sidetrack you.
3. You must see the vision. If you don’t see it, you can never be positive that you will win. It will be like a pie in the sky. Something hoped for, but unattainable.
4. You must have a burning desire to win. You live the phrase “failure is not an option.” The desire must consume you. There is no better example of this than the Sylvester Stallone story. Sylvester refused $100,000 for his script “Rocky” when he had no money to eat. He then sold his dog for $50.00 to buy food. His burning desire was to star in his screen play. He built it and they came!
5. Keep hitting the Anvil. Do something every day that brings you closer to your “field of dreams.”
Nothing is impossible, If you believe. How to turn life's challenges into opportunities of self-discovery and personal success.
Todays' guest on the Mindset Transformation Radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, is Dr. Sheila D. Williams. Dr Williams is the author of “My Mother's Keeper”
Nothing is impossible, always finish the race, don't be a quitter.
Come all the way through!
Don't stop in the middle, don't turn back!
Just finish the race.
Look at life like a long distance swim trip.
When you start out you have no idea what you are going to meet up with.
You can't predict the weather, the waves, or any other hazards and obstacles on your journey.
You have to make up in your mind, that you will Come all the way through, nothing is impossible. That if you are able, you will finish the race.
If you get to the middle of the ocean and you run into a thunder storm for instance, you just can't stop.
Going back is just as perilous as going forward. You have to, believe in yourself. You must , believe.
That is exactly how life is, you can't predict the storms in life, you can't predict the challenges that you are going come up against.
You know that they will come. You have to decide up front to, believe in yourself.
You have to know for sure that, Nothing is Impossible, if you, believe.
God planted that goal or dream in you for a reason. You have something to give to mankind.
If you, believe, you will achieve!
You just have to keep moving forward, going back is death to your dreams, it should not be an option!
Show notes Nothing is Impossible
Today's show discusses, mental illness, and how Dr. Williams cared for her mother as she suffered through clinical, depression.
Her purpose for writing this book is to shed light on this taboo topic and offer healing to her readers who may be going through something similar.
She decide to be very transparent on her mothers, clinical depression, and how she cared for her mother from the young age of 10.
Nothing is impossible, if you, believe. Listen to hear how Dr Sheila overcame her childhood story and succeed as a Mental Health Therapist/Counselor, a behavior Analyst, Published Author, Life Coach and Educational Director. She tells how she worked sometimes 4 jobs while caring for her terminally ill mother and still was able to earn her PH.D.
I know you've you have a really you know powerful story told in your first book My mother's Keeper. What is the book about and what inspired you to write it.
Dr Sheila – My book is about my mother. It is a very candid look into my life and me caring for my mother. It took me about 40-plus years to be able to tell this story. I also tell my mother's story; it was a family secret. No one wanted to talk about my mother, mental illness and the fact that had, clinical depression.
I felt for a very ashamed for a very long time in my life about my mother’s, mental illness, and depression so at the point when I decided to go ahead and be very candid and very transparent about my life it was for the purpose of healing. Not only for myself but for anyone else who have dealt with the stigma of, mental illness.
The stigma of mental illness and clinical depression
I decided to write specifically about my mother and her, clinical depression, as a small child who had to care for her mom instead of the other way around.
People see the doctorate degree or the position that you hold with the company you work for, or you know they see your success in other things, but they don't realize behind the scenes, you had to tell yourself, nothing is impossible, to just get through the day.
You hear the phrase don't judge a book by its cover. You see someone with the professional title and you see these accolades and all of the things that they've accomplished; but you have no idea of the struggle or the obstacles in which they've had to overcome to get to where they are.
So I wrote the book for numerous reasons:
To show that, nothing is impossible, if you, believe in yourself.
To show the effects on the family from, mental illness, and depression.
You can still accomplish whatever goal that you have in life regardless of your circumstances.
What was your motivation and how did you find the strength to push through? Did you have a vision?
Dr Sheila – from a very young child maybe four or five six years old, I did not know that my mother had, clinical depression, I just knew she was a little bit different from other kids’ moms. My mother would not get out of bed for days on end. She would not open the blinds, just lay in bed in a dark room all day.
Nothing is impossible, This means that anything is possible. Dr Sheila did not have the nurture from her mom and dad. When she became grown, she decided she wanted to become a doctor. She worked 5 jobs to put herself through school because she did not want student loans. Believe in the, impossible. However, just because something is possible does not mean that it is easy, or that it should be done at all. If you use this statement, you are probably referring to something which is very difficult to accomplish or labeled, impossible.
Finding, beauty, in your Now is the point of all power that unlocks healing, growth, strength, peace, desires, success, and happiness.
This week I interview Aireka Harvell, aspiring motivational speaker who focuses on transforming the minds and lives of women with her blog “Be That Woman.” She is also the Founder of Nodat Place Advertising LLC. where she encourages and promotes female entrepreneurship and offers daily motivation and support through her social media platforms.
Introduction “How to find Beauty in your Now”
Aireka has a powerful story of overhearing a mother telling her son that she was, ugly, and seeing her mom treat he brother better because he was handsome when she was just 9 years old. That tag stayed with her throughout her life and gave birth to low self esteem, becoming a people pleaser and allowing her husband to mentally and physically abuse her. Aireka has lived in darkness of thinking she was, ugly, for most of her life, until one day she heard the voice of God telling her to Help other women “Be That Woman” he made them to be.
Today she has a huge following on Instagram and on her blog and offers Hope and Encouragement with her daily posts.
Listen to find out How to control your mind and bring it under subjection when thoughts of fear and hopelessness threaten to stomp out your joy.
Learn that there is opportunity to learn and grow from every situation.
A Conversation with our manufacturer (God) God: Tell me “what is your purpose down there on earth”
Man: Well you know “I want to work hard and not hurt anyone, and I want to get along with folks and stay out of trouble” God: “But what about your talents”
Man: Well what talents I have and there are not much, I take good care of. I kind of pace myself, you know.
No, No,No God shouted, your answers are all wrong. Don't you remember the story of the talents?
Man: Yes I think so … You gave each of three men a different set of talents. To one man, you gave five talents. To another man, you gave two talents. And to the third, you gave but one talent.
“That's right says God: and some years later I checked up on each of these three men. I was pleased to find that the man with five talents had multiplied his talents by working hard, and applying each one. The man whom I gave two talents had also labored hard and multiplied them. But when I checked with the man I had only given one talent, I became very angry. For that man had buried his talent in the name of protecting it. To which I cursed him saying “thou wicked and slothful servant” how dare you not use the gifts and, beauty, I gave you. You Knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed.
Do you not get the point of this parable?
Man: Yes I think so. I am to use the talents and, beauty, you gave me and multiply them to help others.
God: Let me ask you another question
“Who is in charge of your life?”
Man: I am responsible for my life – but with a few exceptions. I mean sometimes you just don't get the breaks, you know. Sometimes things just don't go my way, but that is the way the ball bounces or the way the cookie crumbles”
God jumped to his feet “No, No, No, he shouted. You were created in my image of, beauty. “When will you learn, you are totally responsible for your life, no exceptions. You are totally responsible for the results you obtain. Not your mother, not your father, not your boss. It's not the breaks, that control your life, it's you. Don't ever say that is the way the ball bounces, that it is the way the cookie crumbles. You must bounce your own ball!
Man: Okay, okay I think I see. The fact is that I have been put on earth to succeed, I have an obligation, a responsibility, to use my abilities to the fullest. I must control my life, for I wasn't designed to be led. I prefer excellence to mediocrity. I won't prevent my own success, for all success requires is that I am here, and that I use my talents to the world and not wait for the world to come to me. And I will act now, no matter how convenient waiting may seem, no matter how imperfect might be the results I obtain.
Tears welled up in God's eyes, a smile creased his face.
God: “Thou wonderful and faithful servant, take all the love and energy and talent that you have and share it. Share it with all you meet, until it seems you have no more to give, there will always be more and more in reserve. Your potential extends beyond your wildest imaginings. The only limitations you will ever face will be those you place on yourself”
Johanna Sevier Robb says in her blog post on “How to find the Beauty in Everyday Present Moments”:
There is so much, beauty, in the world—and because this crazy, gorgeous life is so fleeting, I want to focus on the, beauty.
No, I won’t turn my eyes away from the horrors of the world. But I also won’t become so consumed by these horrors that I no longer notice the wind dancing on the water. Or the tender grasp of my lover. Or the plant on the windowsill stretching toward the sunlight.
I’m not trying to downplay the crap. But just to understand the, beauty standards, of men. I don’t want to crumple into a small, powerless mess each and every time I read the news.
Negativity sells. Sensationalism sells. But this is not the reality of, beauty. So I ask, what is beauty?
Sure, man’s, beauty standards, is real. But generosity, kindness, humility and love is also real. And I still believe in humanity. Only a tiny bit of the present world can be summed up by violence and acts of terror. Only a tiny bit of human history can be summed up by wars and acts of cruelty.
How to Find your Beauty even if the world thinks you are ugly
Despite his physical appearance, the elephant man and his mother were close. His mother did not think he was, ugly. A former housemaid, she was also handicapped and had three additional children, two of whom died at a young age. She herself passed away in 1873 of pneumonia. Her death devastated young Joseph. Not only did he lose his closest friend, but his father, now working as a haberdasher, soon married the strict widow Emma Wood Antill who had two children of her own and demanded young Merrick, elephant man, leave school and earn his living. Amazingly, despite his growing abnormalities, he found employment at a cigar shop, but his right hand soon became too large to manage the delicate work of rolling cigars. In order to earn his keep, his father got Joseph a hawker’s license to sell gloves door to door. But his, ugly, appearance frightened prospective customers and his sales were dismal. Joseph Senior would often beat his son if he came home empty-handed and the stepmother would deny him full meals unless he had earned enough to pay for them. As a result, he ran away — or rather walked away — from home more than once.
If you liked this content remember to share, subscribe to my iTunes podcast and write a review. Once you do, send me an email to info@myhelps.us with the subject line “Podcast review” and I will send you one of two gifts. My eBook “How to become a Life Coach” or a “Mindset Shift Focus Wheel” a workbook to change from a Fixed Mindset to a Growth Mindset.
Valeri Bocage lost everything in hurricane Katrina and used her pain to create her company Powerful Women International. She believes that the greater your pain the greater things that are birthed from this pain. In the, WandaVision, prequel, Vision, was, well, very dead. … Wanda eventually managed to destroy the Mind Stone – and, Vision, – but Thanos turned back time and plucked it out anyway. Both outcomes killed, Vision.
Valerie says that whenever you focus on what you have lost, you can never move forward. Her purpose was to make a difference.
She says to figure out who your audience is. Who are you supposed to make a difference to?
My tip of the week is:
How to Create Positive Core Beliefs
Our guest today shared her story of losing everything in hurricane Katrina and bouncing back to become the CEO of Powerful Women International. To do that she had to have positive self-worth and positive, core beliefs. Beliefs are the truths people hold on to that guide our life. The power of belief can trap you, as in the belief that you deserve only a limited amount of happiness. Or belief can free you, as in the belief that you are safe and protected in the cosmic plan.
When you open your awareness to your strongest, core beliefs, which are known as, core beliefs, two things happen. First, you find out who you are and why you behave in the ways you do. Second, new energies become available when you pursue the, core beliefs, that are life-supporting, fulfilling, and spiritually transforming.
A powerful, core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four, core beliefs, you want to activate are:
I am loving and lovable.
I am worthy.
I am safe and trusting.
I am fulfilled and whole.
You already have existing, core beliefs, in these four areas of love, self-worth, security, and fulfillment. Your beliefs can't be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness. At the core of your being, where your true self resides, the truth about you is clear and unequivocal: You deserve unconditional love; you are of unique worth in the universe; you can trust Nature to protect and uphold you; and your fulfillment comes from being whole.
To overhaul your beliefs means that you get closer and closer to your core beliefs, these four inner truths, which are absolute. Right now, there's a gap between them and what you experience. For most people, the positive and negative side of their core beliefs depend on how good or bad their experiences have been in the past. If you have been deeply hurt in love, for example, it is hard to adopt the core belief that you deserve infinite love.
A Self-Awareness Exercise to Create Your Core Beliefs
Hawkeye on , WandaVision, is self aware that he is the weakest link. Although he is an extremely skilled marksman, Clint Barton is often considered to be the weakest Avenger seeing as he's just a regular guy with a bow and arrow. Reliving experiences from the past only keeps you stuck in the past. Your core beliefs are activated in the now, every day. They can only be changed in the now! Here's how:
Look upon what's happening now as a reflection of your, core beliefs. If the reflection is negative, pause and ask yourself why it fits the storyline your beliefs create. If you experience any kind of abusive treatment, for example, this reflects a victimhood story supported by a core belief that keeps you in the story. If you experience unexpected kindness, on the other hand, this reflects a storyline that includes compassion and reflects a core belief in how much you deserve love.
A, core belief, that God has plans to prosper you, will take you through any setback.
• Valeri Bocage started Powerful Women International in 2006 after moving to San Francisco, a move that was prompted by the loss of everything during Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. Valeri lost everything except her indomitable spirit to help others. Initially, Powerful Women International was formed to help women live their dreams and to begin to support each other worldwide to fulfill their utmost dreams and expand themselves as leaders worldwide.
How did Valerie build and assemble her Power teams?
Power Team, is a team consisting of people who possess all the strengths needed to achieve your mission. They are an extension of you not a mirror.
You've thought about your, power team, and created an ideal customer profile based on that aspiration. The same thing should be done as you prepare to build your, power team, members.
As you make a list of your, power team, you'll need an:
accountant,
marketer,
social media manager,
content writer,
public relations manager,
customer service representatives
This is the time to aim high; to refuse to settle for less-than-ideal.
With her, Power Team, by her side, Valerie was able to take her brand to more people, with greater positive impact. Too many brand builders work to simply fill positions, when they should be working to hire those people who will further the reach and value of their brands. Who will you hire next? What challenges are you experiencing whilst hiring? What difference your, Power Team, made.
