How to Reprogram your Mind to Stop Binge Eating

When you develop, Binge Eating Disorder, you aren't able to fight your desire for food. It's like an addiction. It IS an addiction. Binge eating, and overeating and how that negatively affects your health until you learn how to reprogram your mind.  

 

My guest today is Dr. Glenn Livingston, author of “Never Binge Again” and our topic is “How to Reprogram Your Mind to stop, binge eating,”

Glenn Livingston PhD,  is a veteran psychologist and was the long-time CEO of a multi-million-dollar consulting firm which serviced several fortune 500 clients in the food industry. 

 

Dr Glenn has sold over 30 million dollars of marketing consulting services over the course of his career.  You may have seen his previous work in major periodicals like the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Chicago sun-times, the Indiana Star Ledger, the New York Daily News, American demographics, or any of other major media outlets.

 What is Binge eating disorder

Dr. Glenn can you tell us what makes you uniquely qualified to comment on, binge eating disorder?

Well I'm not just a psychologist who wanted to work with people to help them lose weight;  I'm a guy who had a very serious, binge eating, problem myself.

I know what's happening in the addiction treatment field that we're being told that we're powerless over the, food addiction, that it's a disease. Binge eating, is 

An irresistible impulse that gets worse over time.

 

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Here is Dr Glenn's story on how He conquered, Binge Eating, 

I discovered a weird thing when I was a youth.  I'm 6’4” I'm reasonably muscular and I figured out when I was about 17, that if I worked out for two or three hours a day, I could eat whatever I wanted. So my diet was boxes of muffins, boxes of donuts, boxes of pizza, boxes of chocolate bars. I was eating six, seven, eight thousand calories a day and it was no problem.

 

Well as you could figure out, I couldn’t continue, binge eating, like that as I got into my 20’s.

When I got to be about 22 or 23, married and in graduate school, I was commuting to school, I had all these responsibilities as a husband. I could barely work out two hours a week, much less two hours a day.  But I couldn't get rid of the cravings for, junk food. I had a, food addiction, and  I started getting fatter and fatter.  My triglycerides went through the roof, and I had doctors telling me that I was going to die in my 30's if I didn't find stop, binge eating .

 

 I eventually figured it wasn't what I was eating, it was what was eating me.  

 

I had been doing some reading in alternative, food  addiction, treatment by a guy named Jack Trimpey. He wrote a book called “Rational Recovery” and he made it clear to me for the first time that the seed of, food addiction, was really the, reptilian brain,.

 

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Binge Eating, Definition 

Binge eating, is  looking at food from the reptilian brain doesn't know love.  We're all we're all busy trying to love ourselves out of these, food addictions; but the reptilian brain doesn't know love. The reptilian brain assesses something in the environment and says, do I eat it or do I kill it! There's no love there, there's no concern for tribe or family or friends or long-term aspirations or creativity or music or art. There's none of that.  It's just eat, mate or kill, and when you look at the animal studies you see that is what happens when you short circuit the pleasure system. 

 You can walk a block in most cities and find a McDonald's, a Burger King across the street.  There's a fast-food restaurant on every corner these days. So we don’t have physical electrodes in our brain; but there are chemical electrodes and concentrations of pleasure that we weren't prepared to meet by evolution.  

 

Sponsored AD

Do you ever think that you have too much stuff?  Maybe two or three of the same item but don’t have the one thing you need or want?  Or maybe you spend hours getting ready to host a garage sale only to have most of the things taken to charity anyway.  Perhaps you have a service you’d like to offer in exchange for another service that you need or maybe just looking for one specific hard-to-find item like sports memorabilia or auto parts.  Well BarterUpOnline.com can help you solve all of these problems.  Whether you have unwanted items, looking for specific items or simply willing to trade services, https://barteruponline.com/ is for you.  The process is easy come to our website sign up for a monthly account which will cost you $2 dollars a month billed once a month or sign up for an annual account, which will cost you $1 dollar a month Billed once a year.  So visit our website today, no money no problem, only trades.

binge eating disorder
binge eating disorder

Binge Eating, and what your choice of foods signifies:

  •  My research found was that people who struggled with, binge eating, chocolate was definitely lonely or brokenhearted.
  •  People who struggled with, binge eating, salty crunchy things, tended to be stressed at work people
  • People who struggled with, binge eating, soft chewy things like bread or bagels or pasta, tended to be stressed at home.

I found out from my mom, the reason I struggled, binge eating, chocolate.

  

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Now on Podbean, Castbox, Deezer, Google Play,  Soundcloud, and Stitcher,

How to reprogram your mind to stop, binge eating.

 I tell people the best way to stop the, food addiction, and, binge eating, is to is to think of the single worst trigger food or eating behavior that's getting you in trouble.

 

Maybe it's eating in the car, maybe that's where you do all the damage. Maybe you could create one rule that says: I never eat in the car or maybe it's a particular food. e.g  I can only have salami on Sundays. Maybe it's about how you eat, maybe it's more like you need to pause and be more mindful.  e.g I'll always put my fork down between bites.

 

If there's something that you know is getting you into trouble,  binge eating, start with that one.

Binge Eating and the Reptilian Brain 

Don't worry if making this rule will help you loose weight or not.  Unless your doctor says that it's really urgent that you do, don't worry about your weight.  I just want you to get the hang of the way this mental game is played, because that rule allows you to separate your thoughts from your, reptilian brain.

  •  Come up with a name for your, reptilian brain, I called mine my “pig”
  • Some people call theirs their food monster or food demon or something like that.
  • Then you want to listen for those destructive thoughts.  
  • You want to listen for what your inner food demon says is the rationale that you should break the plan with, binge eating, you can do one of two things when you hear it.
  •    You can ignore it, because it doesn't matter how smart what is saying, it doesn't matter how logical it sounds, if you know that it's coming from your food demon, your pig, you now it's bad.  So you might as well ignore it even if it sounds like it's got a PhD from Harvard!
  • You could write out what the food demon is saying and you ask yourself where is the lie within it.  Where is the logical fallacy within it.  For example maybe the food demon says one bite won't hurt you, or  you can start again tomorrow, which is based upon the logical fallacy that you'll be in the exact same place tomorrow.

Food addiction leads to binge eating 

 If you reinforce the connection today between that craving and the actual eating of the food then, you're going to have a stronger craving tomorrow.  That means the, food addiction and, binge eating, will be a little worse tomorrow. 

 One of the ways to attack your craving and, binge eating, is to create a food plan.  The food plan would have some things that you always eat, some things you never eat, and some things you eat sometimes.  

 

  1.  I always eat five servings of fruit or vegetables.  
  2. I drink two whole glasses of water when I get up in the morning.
  3. I will only eat pretzels at major league baseball games.
  4.  I only eat bread when I am out at a restaurant.  
  5.  I never eat after 6 pm.
  6.  I never eat pizza.
  7. I never eat more than two squares of chocolate a day. 

Conclusion 

While other addictions, such as alcohol and drug abuse, are more widely known and understood, food addiction, and, binge eating,  isn't. Hope this blog post and Dr. Glenn Livingston, author of “Never Binge Again” helps. 

Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes
Download on iTunes

Additional Resources

The Difference Between A Queen and A Princess

The difference between a, princess, and a, queen, is that the, princess, is waiting on someone to come and save while the, queen, has the emotional maturity to know that she has to save herself and her people.

In this episode, Gina DeVee, author of the, Audacity to Be Queen, makes reference to, Queen Esther, in the bible story of how she used her influence with the King to save her people the Jews.  She didn't wait on a prince to save her, she learnt how  to communicate with the King

Download the Podcast Here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10652216-the-difference-between-a-queen-and-a-princess.mp3?download=true

Bio

Gina went from being a broke psychologist to a multi-million dollar women’s empowerment and lifestyle brand with Divine Living. She has dedicated her career to helping women connect spiritually, start profitable businesses, and create wealth from a feminine perspective. Some of those women include Jen Sincero, who (fun fact!) dedicated her book on money to Gina.

Her first book, The Audacity to be Queen, consolidates over 20 years of experience in transforming women’s lives through the deep spiritual and feminine wisdom of Queenhood.

Sponsored Ad

Our next partner has a product I literally use every day.  I started taking AG1 because… I wanted better gut health, and an optimized immune system. Now I’ve been on it for 3 months and I love it. It doesn’t taste like it’s super healthy, it tastes like one of my favorite childhood drinks with a mild tropical taste.

But it not just the great taste that I love, With ONE, delicious scoop of AG1, I am absorbing 75 high-quality vitamins, minerals, whole-food sourced superfoods, probiotics, and adaptogens to help me start my day right. This special blend of ingredients supports gut health, your nervous system, your immune system, your energy, recovery, focus, and aging.

I walk a 5K trail every morning and I drink a scoop of AG1 before I leave for my walk.

Right now, it’s time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient, daily nutrition! Just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That’s it! To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1-year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/TRANSFORM. that website again is athleticgreens.com/TRANSFORM and take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

The Princess Mentality

The, princess mentality, is tough for us women, because we're read stories from a very young age and most the impressionable time about being a, princess. And how someone else is going to come save us that we will live happily ever after.

So, for us to get out of the, princess mentality, and develop the emotional maturity and the wisdom that a, queen, has, that life isn't perfect. Life isn't fair. It doesn't mean it's horrible, though. either. It's just the way it is.

Gina: I grew up Christian and my book is not overtly Christian, but it is based on the, book of Esther, in the Bible. Jews know the story from the Bible, and for everyone else, it's kind of a Cinderella story, basically, Esther, was the most unlikely candidate to become the, Queen, of Persia.

I was on a plane one day and reading the Bible. I happened to be reading the book of, Esther, that day, and it was the first time that it really leapt off the page. And I was like, this isn't just Esther's story. This is the story of every woman, on some level, maybe symbolically.  We've all been orphaned, exiled, taken out of our comfort zone, and really had been prepared for such a time as this. And I just really saw it almost as the heroine’s journey of us all and started doing retreats and workshops on it. So really, the substance of my work is about being the, Queen, based on the character of, Esther’s story.

Myrna: You okay, so we got that from, Queen Esther. I was thinking you meant when a man calls his woman his, Queen.

Sponsored Ad

I thought I knew my dad better than anyone. One day my mother was telling a story I’ve never heard before. That got me wondering…how many other stories don’t I know? That’s why I got my dad StoryWorth.

StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your dad, or father figure, connect through sharing stories and memories – and preserves them for years to come.

Every week StoryWorth emails your dad a thought-provoking question of your choice from a vast pool of possible options. Each unique prompt asks questions you’ve never thought of like, “What is one of your fondest childhood memories?” or “Have you ever feared for your life?”

I’ve really enjoyed reading my dad’s answers to these questions –stories of my Dad as a young man before he met my mom and how being an only child affected him.

After one year, StoryWorth compiles all those questions and stories, including photos, into a beautiful keepsake book the whole family can share for generations.

For Father’s day give all the “fathers” of father figures in your life a meaningful gift you can both cherish for years to come – StoryWorth!

Right now, for a limited time, you can save $10 on your first purchase when you go to storyworth.com/myrna

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Queen Esther saves the Jews

Gina: I go through a lot more in chapter four in my book, so if anyone wants the cool, Queen Esther, story from when I also realized is, you know, Esther, was under an enormous amount of pressure, she had to risk her life. The king didn't know he had married a Jew, and so she had to reveal who she was, she could have gotten killed. And even under all these pressures, she maintains what the Scriptures say a pleasing disposition, aka positive.

Well, I'm Sicilian, so I can be kind of fiery. One of the things that I do in the book, I talk about the, archetype of Queen, really being our highest self. And then there's all these other, archetypes, that can show up along the way. And as you pointed out, the, Bitch, is one of them. I think that what happens is I wrote about this in chapter three, growing up to feel safe.  None of us grew up in functional families.

Let's just be clear, there is a certain level of dysfunction in families, the way society set things up, we took either two routes, we took compliance, be the, good girl, do everything right, follow the rules, you know, or defiance. Either or both of them, keep us out of our true self. And so, what I found for myself is I lived so long as a perfect and Little Miss good girl, I was so compliant.

Sponsored AD

Today's podcast is sponsored by my favorite fitness podcast, The Fit, Healthy & Happy Podcast.

The Fit, Healthy and Happy Podcast, is available on all podcast platforms including iTunes and Spotify.

The podcast is run by Josh & Kyle and does an amazing job at teaching, inspiring and educating about fitness and how to become a healthier and happier person.

They go a level deeper than most, and really try to get to the root of real people’s fitness problems. Listeners will see a change in their fitness, health and happiness.

These guys are the real deal and their podcast is one you're going to need to give a listen, if you want to lose that weight and gain confidence.

Josh and Kyle give you all the knowledge, secrets with none of the nonsense.  Download the Fit, Healthy & Happy Podcast, this is the podcast for you.

Once again, that is the Fit, Healthy and Happy podcast and you can find that where ever you get your podcasts.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

The bitch way of communicating

That when I was done with being the, good girl, I did the pendulum swing into defiance. And it was because I still didn't really feel like I had power. So, I would let these, bitchy comments, kind of blow out of my mouth when I was under stress or feeling cornered, because I didn't know how to be an alliance. And so that's one of the things that I teach in my book is about how we can really speak the truth in love. You don't have to be a doormat; you don't have to not have boundaries. And you don't have to be this, bitch, about it either.

Myrna; All right, so I know exactly what you're talking about. Because people are always talking to me about, tonality, where you know, it comes across very aggressive when I say something, but I don't know how not to sound, bitchy, if I'm annoyed.  But it doesn't mean that I want to be a, bitch, it’s just my direct way of communicating. So, what you're saying is that women can, say what they want to say that's on their mind, but say, in a queenly way, is that what you're saying?

Gina: Yes, exactly. You know, speaking the truth without love. It's just brutal honesty. So, when you when you come from a place of love, you consider your needs, your desires, what it is that you're looking to communicate and you deeply consider the other person also. And so, when you when you come from this place, what you're saying might not be popular, it might not even be well received, but you will feel better about yourself because you will know that to the best of your ability you actually set up a win-win situation.

Sponsored Ad

Have you tried CBD looking for relief but CBD just isn’t cutting it? Try delta 8 THC, CBD’s older brother that actually works and makes you feel relaxed. Delta Munchies is revolutionizing the way you consume cannabis by skipping the dispensary and shipping straight to your door. They come in a variety of products ranging from vapes, delicious gummies, tinctures and more. So, skip the line and find relief with Delta Munchies. Head to deltamunchies.com and use code TRANSFORM20 for 20% off your order.”

Click the link below to place order:

https://bit.ly/TransformDM

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

The 4 communication Archetypes

Myrna: Okay, so that's basically how you define a, bitch mode of communication.  So that's probably a good segue to talk about. The, archetypes, right. You said there's four, archetypes:

  • The Princess
  • The martyr,
  • The saboteur
  • and the Queen.

So, explain, these, archetypes, and maybe give us an example of the, communication, in each them.

Gina: Sure, those are four I do write about many, many more in the book, “The Audacity to be Queen” but I think that we all can see ourselves when we are we self-sabotaging? When we are a, martyr.

Gina: The, princess mentality, is tough for us women, because we're read stories from a very young age and most the impressionable time about being a, princess. And how someone else is going to come save us that we will live happily ever after.  So, Princesses, think that there is this happily ever after in this perfect scenario and then becomes very confused and very distraught when it doesn’t happen and real life shows up.

Sponsored Ad

ARE YOU READY TO LIVE A MORE FREE, HEALTHY, AND ABUNDANT LIFE?

Let us show you how by transforming your yard into a food forest and creating a system of self-reliance that’s easy and enjoyable.

A food forest is a low-maintenance, sustainable, permanent food production system designed to mimic natural and diverse forestry systems. Animals, plants, fungi, and their interactions are carefully balanced within our designs to create harmonious and healthy environments for your food to grow.

The custom design we have created for you and your family will be the foundation of your home food system. Food forests incorporate 7 layers of edible plants including fruit and nut trees, shrubs, herbs, vines, mushrooms, and perennial vegetables. A food forest is thoughtfully designed to produce maximum nutrition, beauty and abundance.

Head over to https://foodforestabundance.com/ and start your journey to creating abundance in your back yard. Use coupon code “Food22” to save 5% as we help you create a low maintenance garden of Eden for you, your family, or your community.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

The language of a Queen

Myrna: One of the things I loved about, Queen Esther's, story is she was pushed into this position, you know, to see to save her people. And she embraced it. I loved the fact that she knew how to talk to the king, right? She knew how to ask the King for what she wanted. I wrote that down her strategy for when I want to request anything from my husband.  Queen Esther, says “if it pleases Your Highness” That is definitely, Queen, language.

I found that story very amazing that, Queen Esther, learned how to talk to her husband to get what she wanted. A lot of people, a lot of women, don't want to give the man the respect in order to get what they want from him. So yeah, the, Queen, archetype is knowing how to communicate like a, queen.

All right so our topic today is, how can women cure to disease to please.  Let's talk about the, desire to please, and the, disease to please, and then how you go about teaching women to cure it?

Gina: So, codependency is really what we're talking about here. It's when we are just operating to get other people's approval, love, admiration. And it's not really a preference. It's like when I was really codependent it's like, it's what I needed to feel safe in the world. And so, I was always monitoring what does someone else want? What do I need to say that's going to make them happy, or it's going to make them like me, or it's going to be acceptable to them?

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

The disease to please

And so, too, oftentimes, modern day women are just terrified of what other people are going to think about them or what other people are going to say, and it stops them from being in the relationship they want to be in or starting the business they want to start or being invisible online. Or speaking their truth. Like there's so much that the, disease to please, holds back someone's truth, it's going to keep them from their destiny.

So, really healing codependency and curing that so to speak in our lives, it’s one of the most courageous journeys a woman could be on, to stop needing other people's permission or approval. And, you know, the more you give yourself permission, the more you approve of yourself, is going to be the way that you're going to attract people who feel similarly and it's the more freedom.  It's the only way you're going to live a free life.

Myrna: Women always feel you know, when they have the, disease to please, is that they always feel being authentic and understanding there, personal power, is the way to not have to feel that you'd like to please whether it's your children, whether it's your man, it's your boss, you know, wherever you feel that you the, desire to please, in order for you to get attention.

You talked about the feminine perspective. How are you differentiating that in being a, Queen?

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

The Feminine perspective of Queen

Gina: Yes, well, one of the reasons why I love the, archetype of Queen, is because she's not all feminine. She's not a goddess. She is not a mermaid waiting for her, prince, to come save her. And she's not all like, masculine, like I'm going to take the bull by the horns and I'm going to hustle and have massive action. The, Queen, is not like the, Tony Robbins, or Gary Vaynerchuk way of being in the world are like that empowered and masculine. The, Queen, has both male and female energy, there is masculine and feminine energy.

It's just the western world is obsessed, addicted really to all things masculine. So, the difference is, masculine energy, which is all things logical, practical, predictable, linear, it's about action. It's about thinking. Those are all these masculine traits and ultimately, masculinity is about giving.

And then, femininity is about the, spiritual, the creative, the playful, the passionate, the nonlinear.  It's a circle, it's about feeling not thinking, it's about being not taking action. And ultimately, femininity, is about receiving.

All of us have seen people in positions of power, whether they're male or female, be the ones giving is in control, you know, initiating, taking that action so that's what we have thought of when we think of success, and it's just a different age and a different time and particularly women need to get better at receiving a compliment, receiving well exceeded attention. Receiving good in your life and let him know there’s a time play and to be creative and relax, rather than always working, being productive, being effective, all that kind of stuff. So, you know, really getting clear that there is, masculine energy, and there is, feminine energy.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Masculine and feminine energy

Myrna: that's a good one because you're right, women have a problem receiving. They have the, disease to please, because they always want to give and when it's time to receive, they don't know how to receive. I tell my daughter all the time, the same thing. We've got to learn how to receive.

Gina: So, no matter what you're taught, most of us have been taught, money, doesn't grow on trees. You have to work if you want more, money, you have to work harder. And it's about work all the time. And make sure you save up for a down payment for a home and save, money, for retirement and all this logical linear stuff. And the, feminine energy, way is different.

That's all the, masculine energy, and there's nothing inherently wrong with it. It's like a painting of one color. It's one dimensional and there's just other colors to choose from also. So, it's not about not being, masculine, but it's about incorporating the, feminine. So, the, feminine, way it's going to be creative.

The, feminine, is like, do I even want to own my home? Maybe I would rather rent my home and have, money, to travel because that's part of my value system. Or maybe it's actually a smarter for me to take the, money, that I would put into a house was only going to make X amount over X number of years and put it into a different kind of investment that maybe didn't exist when our parents or grandparents told us save for a down payment for a house or real estate.

You know, and so that's the, feminine, approach of being more creative or spiritually guided or not so logical and linear but being circular and looking at other possibilities that might even be smarter.

Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Feminine energy is creative

Myrna: Yeah, I like the creative approach to this definitely right. Feminine energy, is definitely creative. We were built to create. So that is that is definitely, feminine energy. Yeah, so I like that. All right, so yeah, so is there anything else that you want to share that I didn't ask you?

Gina: I think the thing to really keep in mind especially right now for everyone, I don't know anyone that's not reconsidering their life with everything that we've all been through. Everyone's asking what am I doing with my life and you know reevaluating is this even where I want to live?  Is this the relationship I want to be in?  Is this the job I want? If you have a business, is this the way I want to be doing business?

I really do invite everyone to deeply explore what else is possible because the truth is, we're not going back to the way it was before the pandemic. That world is an era and consciousness that is done and over. So, a new world opens up, it's about new and expansion and expression and creative possibility.

So, if you're yearning for something more, a better life, lean into that. If there's desires that you used to put off and said, well, I'll do that later when the kids go to college, or when I retire, when there's enough time or money left over. What if you started with your desires, what if you prioritize yourself? What if you said no, what if you set a boundary when everyone's used to you being so available?

Book Audacity to be Queen
Book Audacity to be Queen

The Audacity to be Queen

Myrna: How does everything that you teach circle back to being a, queen?

Gina: Yes. So, the book “The Audacity to be Queen” starts out about how the epic life is possible. Because we got to get back into dreaming. We got to get to especially as adults, we've gotten a lot of things knocked out of us our self-confidence, things haven't worked out.  And it can be really tempting to just sit on the sidelines, take it easy, play small, stay safe, you know, whatever that is, so we got to get back into dreaming event.

And then chapter two is on, spirituality, is your superpower. I'm too old to be working that hard anymore. It’s is time for us to really let Spirit and God come in and open us up for miracles, and we got to open up for big opportunities. The way that the Bible talks about my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher.

They say you can work hard, but not work smart. When you get the call of God in your plans and whatever, then you don't have to do it. And then, when things don't go your way, like being able to rely on, spirituality, first of all, that's where faith comes in.  And then we get into really exploring much more deeply the difference between, masculine energy, and, feminine energy, and what it actually means to be, feminine. It's not just about lipstick and a manicure. It's a whole skill set and way of being in the world.

And then in chapter four talks about like the ultimate, Queen, and how for all of us, this is such a time to be a, Queen. We have been prepared to, be of service to our people. So that's the real foundation, we're all meant to be queen and we're in our lives, like what happened? Why are we not swinging? So, we got to look at some of the unconscious thoughts and beliefs about, self-sabotage, and the, disease to please, and the comparison trap and all of the lack of mind training that most of us have not had. And there's a lot of tools and exercises in the book that really teach us the mind training.

https://youtu.be/Syt_tDDWbds

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/tantric-sex-using-tantra-energy-during-sex/

Can Chemical Hair Relaxers Cause Cancer?

Women who use hair straighteners and chemical hair relaxers may have a higher risk of uterine cancer, according to a new study from researchers at the US National Institutes of Health (NIH). The study findings were published on October 17, 2022, in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute. They are now able to file toxic exposure claims against the manufacturers of these products.

Download the podcast here:

https://2.gum.fm/https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://verifi.podscribe.com/rss/p/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/12268941-does-chemical-relaxers-and-hair-straightening-products-cause-cancer.mp3?download=true

Toxic exposure personal injury claims

My guest today is Jennifer Poole is the Director of Marketing at the California Law Firm of Nadrich & Cohen. Nadrich & Cohen was founded in 1990 and has since expanded to 14 offices throughout California. The firm handles all types of injury, defective product, and toxic exposure claims on behalf of individuals and their families.

Ms. Poole has worked at the law firm since 2009 right after she graduated from Hofstra Law. She has quite literally lived from coast-to-coast and calls Los Angeles home.

Myrna: As a black woman I have used, hair straitening products, for over 30 years. I don't use them a lot now because, I started wearing wigs and weaving my hair, but normally, the black population wants straighter hair. Relaxing black curly hair makes it easier for us to handle. In the 60’s even the men relaxed their hair, we go back to movies like Malcolm X, and see him using hair, straightening products called conk. Can you tell what is the data that says these products cause cancer.

I'm not sure if Caucasian people use, hair straighteners, or it predominantly used in the, black community?

Sponsored Ad

This episode is sponsored by LMNT the tasty electrolyte drink mix with everything you need and nothing you don’t. That means lots of salt — with no sugar.

Electrolytes facilitate hundreds of functions in the body, including the conduction of nerve impulses, hormonal regulation, nutrient absorption, and fluid balance.

When you sweat, the primary electrolyte lost is sodium.  When sodium is not replaced, it’s common to experience muscle cramps and fatigue.

I started using electrolytes when I was taking a 17-hour flight to Rome last year, I used electrolytes to keep me hydrated, Now I use LMNT after sweating at the gym and in the sauna.  

Right now, LMNT  is offering my listeners a free sample pack with any purchase, That’s 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. This is a great way to try all 8 flavors or share LMNT with a salty friend. Get yours at DrinkLMNT.com/TRANSFORM.

LMNT offers no questions asked refunds

Try it totally risk-free. If you don’t like it, share it with a salty friend and they will give your money back, no questions asked. You have nothing to lose. This deal is only available through my link. DrinkLMNT.com/TRANSFORM.

LMNT_electrolyte drink
LMNT_electrolyte drink

Hair relaxers called hair straighteners called perms

Jennifer: Yes, I would say so. We've used you know, several different terms to describe these products. So, you know, hair relaxers, and, hair straighteners, and we've even had a couple of clients that refer to it as a, perm, of sorts. But these products are predominately used in the, black community.

Myrna: Yes the Caucasian population used, perms, to curl up the hair. So, talk to us about that was the link to, uterine cancer.  I guess we're doing a total Erin Brockovich here.

Jennifer: Yes, Erin Brockovich was a fantastic film. And also, before I launch into it, you mentioned, Malcolm X, and when we started this project, I immediately thought of that film, with Denzel Washington, sitting in the chair, and just how awfully painful that was to try to straighten his hair.

Myrna:  I thought of this film myself even though I have gone through the same pain straightening my own hair.

Jennifer: And on a side note, do you know what also came up? I thought about a book that I read in college, which was Toni Morrison's The Bluest Eye, and we all love it too. Right? And we always want something that we don't have!  I have straight hair, my mom permed my hair, so it could become curly.

I remember sitting in the beauty shop and I go in with my hair, one length and I come out with it three inches shorter because of the curls. We all want what we don't have. You know, there's some truth to that certainly, but back to your question.

Sponsored Ad

This song is called I came to Win by Lancer Blinks

Download on YouTube

https://youtu.be/P6XwvALgGB0

Lancer Blinks
Lancer Blinks

Studies that link hair relaxers to uterine cancer

There are studies which have linked a 2.5 times increased risk of developing, uterine cancer, among those that use, hair relaxer products. And so, as you can well imagine, that primarily affects black and brown populations. That's who use these products. And so, there's also linkage to, ovarian cancer, and, endometrial cancer, and less severe but still painful, uterine fibroids. We can make a claim if the, uterine fibroids, resulted in surgery like, hysterectomy

Myrna: That is terrible, I've heard I had heard rumors of this for a while now. When I say rumors, you know that we're talking social media. But, now that we're getting data, it's not it's not hearsay anymore. So, what are the products that that are causing these, uterine cancers, that is in these, hair relaxers, products? There are the new, hair relaxers, that are “No LYE”. Are these the safer products?

Jennifer: Well, there's all kinds of chemicals which have been found in these types of products, even including Brazilian blowouts, including formaldehyde, you can think about that. There are so many chemicals that are toxic, that are used in these products. And, you know, the variety of brands, certainly people that have the market share. I think everyone's familiar with Dark and Lovely, right. It's a huge brand. And so, with these products manufacturers continued to add these chemicals.

Sponsored AD

Proper tax preparation is pivotal in helping you make the most of your future.

For over 15 years, Patty’s Notary and Tax has been offering tax services to small businesses and individuals. Our expertise lies in helping clients prepare for various taxes, such as:

Individual tax returns

Estate & Trust Tax that helps heirs significantly minimize the expenses relating to obtaining their inheritance. And Sales Tax returns because All businesses have sales tax obligations to state and local tax authorities. Our professionals can help clients understand the sales tax collection process.

To Schedule your consultation head over to https://www.pattysnotaryandtax.com/

Call us at 800-291-2560|

Or email us at  Taxinfo@pattysnotaryandtax.com

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

There are no natural chemical relaxers

A lot of hair relaxers products, are coming to market that are more quote unquote natural. Even still, I'm not saying they have the same toxic chemicals, but they're still not natural. They carry a lot of toxic chemicals.  One of the things that I'd like to mention is you know, the FDA doesn't test these products before going to market, yet they are in charge of policing, hair products.

The goal is of this litigation is to affect change. That's always what we try to do. Where a governmental agency fails us, the legal team’s step in a try to right wrongs, but be also affect long lasting change. And we've seen it time and again. And so that's always the goal with this type of litigation.

Myrna: Yeah, that's great. So, a lot of times things start from one person, like the Erin Brockovich film, she saw something unusual so she investigated it. So, is this lawsuit going on now because someone has won a case and now everybody is filing claims? Was somebody able to connect, hair relaxer products, with, uterine cancer, and win a large settlement?

Jennifer: Let me explain a little bit about how the process works. There's something called, multi district litigation, and it's called MDL in legal parlance, and what happens is you'll have a new case type like, hair relaxers. There are no cases that have been won as of yet. But what happens is lawyers start taking on cases and then there will be what are called Bellwether trials, and I always compare those to you go out to the pool, you want to see if it's warm, you dip your foot in there.

And then based on how those Bellwether trials go, then that can often bring the defendants of these, hair relaxer manufacturers, to the negotiating table. And that's really kind of the process and I do want to clarify for your readers, that this is  not a class action suit.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

This is not a class action lawsuit

A class action suit is you know, we all get those postcards in the mail. You've been overcharged for phone service, and guess what you're gonna get a nickel.  Yeah, or even worse, you had a bad experience with the business, they're gonna offer you a credit or a gift card so you can go back and use their services. But people take a very cynical view of class actions, but this litigation is different. Again, it's, multi district litigation. And the reason that exists is there are not enough courtrooms in America to allow for a trial for each and every case there's just not.

So, what happens is both parties come together, and they come up with some ground rules. Some rules for discovery, and how things will proceed. And that just streamlines the process. So that's actually beneficial for plaintiffs in litigations these because it speeds it along, allows them to see a settlement, sooner rather than later. I just I wanted to clarify that process a little bit. So no, there have not been any trials as of yet. It's really more what's prompting this litigation to move forward. Our studies, that have come out, science is improving all the time. And we learned about new things that we thought were safe.

Myrna: That's it. Yeah, that's why it's often somebody identified that those products cause, uterine cancer, and now they've just got to put it together. I know that 90% of black women have used, hair relaxers, at one point in their life and if they are reading this and have been diagnosed with, uterine cancer, ovarian cancer, or uterine fibroids, that they will contact you and get a claim going.

Myrna: So your company are helping you know women and men, I'm assuming only women because it's, uterine cancer. So your Law Firm is helping women submit claims. So how can someone reading this blog,  if they have realistic claim for any of the illnesses we mentioned contact you.  What is the first step, what do they do?

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

How to start the claim process

Jennifer: We do represent some men who they're unfortunately widowers, they lost their wife to, uterine cancer. And also, of course,  male children. We do represent them as well. But yes, we primarily work with women, the client base is female, and we are accepting cases with, uterine cancer, diagnosis. Ovarian cancer, endometrial cancer, and then lastly, certain, uterine fibroid, cases where there's actually surgical intervention. If it requires a surgery, it's a little more invasive than some of the other, uterine fibroid, treatments but that's for us to make a decision on on a case by case basis.

So if one of your readers was thinking that they may qualify, the first step would be to reach out to us or another law firm and request that free consultation because in this industry,  I always say we give every man and every woman keys to the courthouse and how do we do that? Contingency fees? We don't collect a fee unless a recovery is made. Because let me tell you, if we had to charge up front, we wouldn't have any clients.

So many people in this country live paycheck to paycheck. So this model of representation, gives everybody an equal playing field and keys to the courthouse; so that would really be the first step. Is to reach out to us or another law firm and and get the free consultation and find out if you qualify,

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Filing a claim for toxic exposure from Hair Relaxers and Hair Straightening Products

We would ask a really a series of questions. We have to get medical records, documents confirming the, uterine cancer, diagnosis sometimes, or, ovarian cancer, or, uterine fibroid, diagnosis. Sometimes, clients have those documents readily available, most don't. And so that's the process.  If they hire us then we would request the medical records that document all of the treatment that they had to have, that obviously adds value to the claimants, chemo is not fun.

Myrna: How do you make the connection between the, uterine cancer, and the chemical hair relaxers product?

Jennifer: Oh, yes. We would ask them to give us the history of hair relaxers product use. If they can remember the products, because there are so many out there. We asked about about 20 different products, that have the lion's share of the market. Assuredly, they used at least one of them.

And then typically, women will use these hair relaxers  about four plus times a year, that increases the exposure and therefore, our ability to link  the hair relaxer product to cancer. But it's true, possibly signing an affidavit stating that yes, I use this product.  I used it this many times a year. Kind of documenting that way. Haven't had it yet, but in other litigations, people will still had product packaging around the house. We have an evidence locker here that stores those products.  I have not had that happen yet in this litigation. I think by nature of the product, you use it and throw it out.

Myrna: Well, you can be still using it to be quite honest. But yeah, one of the things about, hair relaxers, is that once you open it, it loses its potency so you have to throw it out. But black women can be listening to this interview right now who are still using chemical hair relaxers because they weren't aware that there was anything wrong with them. Very few women go around with their natural hair. It's a very small percentage, so they're still using it.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

How to connect with Nadrich & Cohen Personal Injury Lawyers

So, probably the best way would be to call me and that is 1-800-718-4658. You could also email me JPoole@ personalinjurylawcal.com.  You can also head over to www.personalinjurylawcal.com. We have multiple blog posts, pages, lots of information there.

Additional Resources 

Chapter 2-0700 Establishing Toxic Substance Exposure

https://www.dol.gov/agencies/owcp/energy/regs/compliance/PolicyandProcedures/proceduremanualhtml/unifiedpm/Unifiedpm_part2/Chapter2-0700ToxicSubstanceExposure

 

5 Questions to Ask Before Going with Your Gut Feelings

Never go with your, gut feelings, because what is true is that your gut, intuition, is often going to be lying to you.  Just like people who are depressed and anxious feel that there's something to be said about, gut feelings, when there's not, and feel there's a threat when there is not. Instead use  counter intuitive strategies to make decisions.

In this episode of the Transform your Mind to Transform your Life podcast, I interview Dr Gleb Tsipursky, Cognitive Neuroscientist and Behavioral Economist and author of the book “Never Go With Your Gut: How Pioneering Leaders Make the Best Decisions and Avoid Business Disasters.” 

What was your path in becoming a Cognitive Neuroscientist?

I was 18 in 1999 when the Prince song party like it's 1999 was Hot. A lot of leaders were partying because their companies were going boom they were making a lot of a lot of money.  Billions of dollars were invested into  the dot.com industry, and just a couple of years later when I was 21 in 2002, they all went bust. The leaders of the dot.com era made terrible decisions. They trusted their, Gut feelings, and went bust! That and the fact I saw my father trust his, gut feelings, and made terrible decisions, made me study to become a Cognitive Neuroscientist.

Leaders who went with their, gut feelings, made bad decisions

A lot of  Leaders who went with, gut feelings, went to jail.  Their, gut instincts, were way off. Never trust just your, gut feelings.  I was curious about what was going on, so I decided to study the neuroscience of the brain and how people think. I became a Trainer, Consultant, and Coach for business leaders.

Cognitive neuroscience,  is a subfield of neuroscience that studies the biological processes that underlie human cognition, especially in regards to the relation between brain structures, activity and cognitive functions. The purpose of it is to determine how the brain functions and achieves performance.is the study of how our brain works, how we make decisions and what our patterns of decision-making are.  I also studied the specific judgment errors that we make when we make decisions purely from, gut feelings.

Sponsored AD

Motor Club or America is your friend on the road offering you complete piece of mind for you, your family and your vehicle. Total security benefits cover you at work, at home and even at play.

  • Membership includes the following and much more:
    Unlimited Emergency road service- for your car, boat, RV and trucks  with 100 mile towing;
  • Up to $500 Emergency Room Benefit,
  • Up to $2,000 in attorney fees;
  • $25,000 Bail Bonds when charged with vehicular manslaughter or auto related negligent homicide;
  • $150 daily Hospital benefit and $50,000 Accidental Death Benefit

Many more benefits and fantastic services await you. This isn't road insurance, it's road Assurance. To find out more head over to www.morethan4tows.com
And remember, when the unexpected happens, Motor Club Of America has you covered.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

One of the first things I wanted to know because as a, Lifecoach myself, when I sit down in a coaching session, I'm looking for certain things in order for me to understand where my clients are coming from.  As a cognitive neuroscientist and behavioral economist, what are you looking for when you were consulting with these business leaders?

Coaching to, Gut Instinct

The first thing I'm looking for is to make sure the person is coachable.  A lot of people would like to go to a coach, but they're not coachable.  Meaning that they're not willing to listen to external feedback and accept that sometimes, someone looking from the outside is going to be wiser than the person looking from the inside and making those, gut feeling,  decisions.

I also try to find an issue of disagreement and in the first session, to see how the person reacts to this disagreement.  Because if this person's is not able to deal with this disagreement, then we’re not going to be able to have an effective coaching relationship. Because as a coach  I'm going to tell you what I think, and if you can’t accept feedback,  we can't work together and I'd like to discover that as quickly as possible.

Sponsored AD

Is the pain in your body so bad that you don't want to get out of bed?
Are your skin conditions getting on your last nerve?
Maybe you are so tired that getting up and answering that door, feels like you just ran a marathon!

If so its time for you to click on over to cbdahealing.com YES! ..
That's cbdahealing.com
We have certified hemp-based products and MORE!
That will help you get the fast relief and energy you need to start your day!

We are GMP- CERTIFIED/ GMO-FREE/ CRUELTY-FREE and made in the GREAT U.S.A.
But that's not all !
We have a 60- day trial offer even if the bottle is empty YES!
That's even if the bottle is empty! So head on over to cbdahealing .com
That's cbdahealing.com

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

 

The other thing that I look for at the start of the session is how emotionally aware this person is.  That's the quality of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence refers to two broad skill sets:

  • emotional awareness – where is this person emotions
  • and emotional management – how are they able to manage their emotions.

Sponsored AD

With the Strategic Funding Group, your personal loan don't have to be scary or jammed up with red tape. We ARE THE ONLY GROUP GETTING PEOPLE OVER $250,000 IN CASH CONSISTENTLY.

The Strategic Funding Group has leveraged our 30 plus combined years helping clients get approved for loans. We preapprove you based on your credit report and scores and you pay no upfront fees.

Your approval odds, are at a maximum when you fund with us.

We provide a step by step process. IF YOU CAN AND ARE WILLING TO READ, THEN YOU CAN RECEIVE MONEY.
Cash MONEY is deposited into your bank account. NOT A STACK OF CREDIT CARDS.

To get started, email with your name, number, or email address to info@strategicfunding.biz

Our process takes 1-10 days.

YOU MUST BE WILLING TO FOLLOW SIMPLE DIRECTIONS and READ OUR INSTRUCTIONS .
You must have a 670 credit Score or better Or be willing to sign up for a credit monitoring service to discover your score.
Want to make money from home? Need loan repayment assistance? We do that too. AGAIN EMAIL WITH YOUR CONTACT INFO, INCLUDING YOUR NAME, PHONE # AND YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS to info@strategicfunding.biz  or

Contact us on the web at www.strategicfunding.biz and get your loan started.

https://www.strategicfunding.biz/

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

It is really an important element for me to understand.  Do I need to teach this person these skills of emotional intelligence, personal skills, emotional awareness and emotional management? Because in order to make good decisions, instead of going with, gut feelings,  we need to realize that our emotions are the overwhelming factor driving our, gut intuition and, gut instinct.  Our emotions shape about 80 to 90 percent of our, gut feelings, and  decision-making.  Going with your, gut feelings, means going with your, gut instinct intuition,  and they're often wrong, so this is a problem.

When my clients notice that there are goals they want to achieve from coaching are at odds with their natural inclinations and natural intuition, they change their natural state.  One of the very important aspects of coaching, is to change your natural state of activities otherwise there is no point in coaching.

One key aspect of coaching, is to change from where you are today to where you want to be

I'm looking for that as well how aware is the person of their emotions and how able are they to manage their emotions and, gut feelings.

Sponsored AD

Looking for Yoga pants that fit like a glove, and feel like  you have nothing on? Then check out myyogawear.net

Yoga pants made from buttery soft fabric and are perfect for running, jumping and dancing.

Over 600 yoga pants and bras in stock. Ships directly from the United States so no long overseas delay.  5% discount on entire order with discount code turkey13 That website again is www.myyogawear.net

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Leaders shouldn't just use gut feelings to make decisions

As a Cognitive Neuroscientist and Behavioral Economist, you had enough data to write a book on disaster avoidance and that's also name of your company.  Does your research indicate that most people who follow their, gut feelings, or, gut instinct, make the wrong decisions?

Yes, overwhelmingly people who just go with their, gut feelings, and make decisions by, gut reaction, as opposed to people who check with their heads before going with their, gut feelings, make the wrong decisions.

Let's look at small businesses.  A lot of small business owners who don't have training go with their, gut feeling, and open up a business. They feel that they can do this job, I can do this work.  I can run this restaurant or this hair salon or I can be a plumber. But when you look at the actual statistics,  what happens to small businesses is about half of them fail within the first five years,  about two-thirds of them fail within the first ten years;  because people make decisions based on, gut feelings.  They just go with their, gut instincts,  they don't check with their head before going with their,  gut feeling. Never just go with your, gut feelings.

Sponsored AD

Travel 10 is a market disrupt-er in the travel and lifestyle industry. Our mission is to create a subscription plan and an income opportunity for every person in America. Our subscribers can receive the best pricing on hotels, resorts and lifestyle benefits worldwide which aren't available to the general public. Our lowest subscription cost is only $10 per month which saves the subscriber at least $1500 or more a year. For and an extra $10 a month, you can become a Travel Lifestyle Advocate and be able to generate an income for Your self simply by sharing Travel 10 with others. Travel 10 also gives away $1,000 travel savings cards at no cost to you. Simply visit unlockthegift.org to learn more.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean

 

5 Questions to Ask Before Going with Your Gut Feelings

That business leader this who wants to open up a hair salon needs to learn about these, cognitive biases,  the 30 most dangerous ones that she might be suffering from

I list them all in my book “Never Go With Your Gut: How Pioneering Leaders Make the Best Decisions and Avoid Business Disasters.” 

I will list 5 of them here.

  1. The Confirmation Bias – where she might be looking for information from, gut feelings, that confirms her beliefs and ignoring information that do not confirm her beliefs.
  2. Objective Adviser – Understanding the failure rate for hair salons. The failure rate for hair salons are a  little bit higher than the failure rate for typical small businesses,  so the first question to answer is why she would not fail. What makes her so special ? Never go with just, gut feelings.
  3. Get uncomfortable – Look for information that is uncomfortable and that to prove to herself whether this is the right decision or not.
  4. Check for the optimism bias. Business leaders who open up new restaurants, new salon or new small businesses tech startups tend to be very optimistic. They are too optimistic compared to the reality of the situation.
  5. Exit strategy if Business fails – what are all the reasons why it would fail.  Was it the wrong location? Management etc?

    Additional Resources Never go with Your, Gut Feelings

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V3QWa9WdzQ

 

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/

 

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-top-7-reasons-meditation-can-help-your-business-increase-revenues/

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-brain-gut-connection

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/gut-second-brain/

https://lonerwolf.com/gut-instincts/

How To Silence The Voices In Your Head

The voices in your head are also called your inner dialogue or self-talk. These voices are always talking; they are always commenting on everything you see. It is a running commentary. The more we try to shut them off, the louder they become. Today I want to bring awareness to these voices because whatever you say to your self is what you are creating.

Download the podcast here: 

https://2.gum.fm/https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://verifi.podscribe.com/rss/p/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/12245699-how-to-silence-the-voices-in-your-head.mp3?download=true

We have 5 voices in our head

Psychiatrists say we have 5 voices in our head and only one of them is the voice of God. We have to learn to distinguish between the ego voice and the voice of the holy spirit because listening to the wrong voice can steer you very wrong.

For example. I used to have a voice in my head that encouraged me to write notes to my boyfriends and husbands telling them what I think of them.  I thought I was being real and factual, but those notes damaged my relationships.  Now whenever the voice in my head tells me to write a note, I write it, but don’t send it!

I remember having foster children who stole and I would tell them whenever the voice in their head tell you to take something that does not belong to you then you talk back to this voice NO.

There are 5 voices that we can talk about and here are some thoughts about what they are and how to manage them.  I call them the 5 C’s.

The first three voices are the broadly helpful voices – your Core voice from your higher self, your Confident voice and your Cautious voice.

The other two voices are the ones that can cause real issues.  They are your Critical voice and your Conceited voice.

Goodpods podcast

What the voices in your head tell you

This is the first way to silence the voices in your head by talking back to them. If the voice in your head is saying things like:

  • You can’t do it,
  • Your success is not going to last and you will be homeless again
  • You are never going to find someone to love you because you are not educated and can’t hold a conversation.

You have to talk back to this voice and tell it

  • “I am going to do it just watch me.”
  • My success may not last, but I am never going back to where I came from.
  • I will find someone to love me because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Another voice is the one that lists the issues on your mind or perhaps makes internal lists of things you need to accomplish. You may also talk to yourself when you’re preparing a speech or a presentation, where you “play” what you’re going to say in your mind ahead of time.

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

The negative self talk voice

The self talk voice is the voice that plays in my head the most.  I am always having conversations with other people in my head. I remember once this girl said something to me that I couldn’t get out of my head for months. It was a negative comment and the voice in my head would replay it and replay it over and over again.  It took up residence in my head. The more I tried to stop the replay the more it came back.  I would even shake my head to get rid of this ANT which is automatic negative thoughts.

The volume of this particular ANT diminished over time but your ANT can be self-criticism and this is one way to silence this voice.

Write down your ANT in a notebook and them write responses to them. For example:

It could go something like this:

  • ANT: “I messed up at work. I’m probably going to get fired.”
  • Answer: “Mistakes happen. I do a good job one mistake is not going to get me fired.
  • OR
  • ANT: “My son really acted up today. I’m not a good mom.”
  • Answer: “We all have bad days. I am doing the best that I can”

This is one way to rewind the negative tape playing in your head and record over it.

Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast
Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

Strategies to silence the voice in your head

Some of the other ways to silence the voices in your head are:

  1. You have to put word on word – decree and declare
  • My body is blessed
  • My mind is blessed
  • My marriage is blessed
  • Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life
  • My children are blessed
  • My grandchildren are blessed

You have to silence the voice in your head by speaking back to them. Because you shall have whatever you say.

It you say that you will live all your life without love, then you will.

If you say to yourself that you will always be poor, that will be your experience.

You have to decree and declare like the apostle Paul said “When I get to the end of my life I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Talk back to your negative voices

You need courage to continue when there is a threat. Don’t let the negative self-talk stop you from finishing the race.

  • What do you remember when things get tough?
  • Do you remember when God brought you out?
  • Do you remember when God made a way out of no way

Talk back to the voice in your head and say God chose me to go through this. If God thought I couldn’t handle it, he won’t let you go through it.

We can’t see the enemy but he is everywhere.  We have to know the difference of being crushed by the Lord and being crushed by the world.

You cannot have change without disruption.  Don’t be sidetracked by the disruption. Don’t let a disruption distract you from your purpose.

Tell yourself that in every disruption there is opportunity.  Don’t fail to prepare for what’s next because you are focusing on what’s gone or the disruption.

Leaders are determined by how much you move things from one place to another moving the disruption to victory.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

There is purpose in every disruption

When you have a purpose, no disruption can move you off your destiny.

T D Jakes says Once the grapes have been crushed you can’t get the juice back into the grapes.

If you want to be wine you have to be willing to give up being a grape.

You cannot have change without disruption.

The voices in your head area distraction, talk back to them or let ignore them.  If you do this they will eventually go away!

Additional Resources 

How to Stop Negative Self Talk

Using the Law of Attraction to Have it All

Nothing in our world exists until we create it. We engage the, Law of Attraction, whenever we dream about something we want.

Everything is first created in the mind before you hold it in your hand. We engage the, laws of the Universe, when we hold desire in our hearts.

How to engage the, Law of Attraction

You can, have it all, anything you desire through visualization and meditation. The,  Laws of the Universe, including the, law of attraction, are working for you.  You only have to plant in the fertile field of your mind to ,have it all.

Your subconscious mind cannot hold any contradictory mandates. For example if you are using the, Law of Attraction, to manifest a red sports car, but you are thinking that you could never afford such a car, you are cancelling out, the Law of Attraction.

Sponsored Ad

Flash Cosmetics, picture the flash of your favorite stars. Then look like a movie star. Flash cosmetics aims to make you feel confident and comfortable about yourself. Try our instant beauty fixes, skin care and makeup products today!

Our top-of-the-line, fine-quality eyelash extensions will make a statement.  Let your eyes show your inner beauty.

Flash Cosmetics, sophistication, style and beauty. Express Yourself.

Head over to https://flashcosmetics.com/

Be empowered,

Be comfortable

Be Classy

GET 5% OFF THIS MONTH WHEN YOU TRY OUR SERVICES!

If you have a belief that you will not be able to, have it all,  then your beliefs will block these things from your experience. You will not, have it all. Your belief must be changed first in order to, have it all.

Nothing in our world exists until we create it. We engage the, Law of Attraction, one of the, laws of the Universe, whenever we dream about something we want.

Everything is first created in the mind before you hold it in your hand.

We must first observe or experience it for it to become a reality. Quantum physics, tells us that everything exists in wave form or infinite possibility it is only when we observe it, it becomes form.  It does not become form until we observe it by giving it our conscious attention.  It is our act of observation that gives everything form.

Consciousness creates our reality. The, Law of Attraction, is a tool we could use to design our life, to have it all.

Mind affects matter.

Sponsored AD

Araxis3 productions with Sheryl Fisher  Listen  Sheryl's videos on YouTube, her CDs and podcasts

Contact Sheryl Fisher on the web at araxisproductions.com for collaborations and to listen to her music gallery. Araxisproductions.com

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

 

If your business needs working capital to fund its growth or maybe to get thru a tight financial pinch. if traditional banks aren't the right fit for you, we may just have the funds you need. Our providers are going to look for cash flow more than your credit score and we represent all the top alternative providers. So with us, one-stop shopping, is the best option. Get cash for your business now. Short, no obligation, application!!!
Our providers have funded over $10 Billion to thousands of small businesses. Visit
www.DavidAllenCapital.com/102251169
or call Alexia @ 202-445-0851
and Get funding in as little as 3 days!!!

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

The Law of Attraction needs sensory input

The first thing that the, Law of Attraction, does is change the self and the environment the self-encounters.

Everything we see, touch, smell, hear, feel, is sensory input.

The subconscious stores these sensory input along with events for later retrieval.

The subconscious mind makes up 92% of the total brain and the conscious mind the remaining 8%

The brain produces about 25 watts of power.

The subconscious mind uses this power for desires, impulses and energy.

Your desires activate the, Law of Attraction, one of the, laws of the Universe,

This energy is infinite.  The brain functions 24 hours until we die, so the, law of Attraction, is always working.  Both your conscious thoughts and subconscious thoughts activate, the Law of Attraction.

When the, conscious mind, and the, subconscious mind, are in conflict the subconscious mind always win. So most of the time we are activating the, law of attraction unconsciously.

Sponsored Ad

There's a hot new shoe line out. “Correl8ted”, a shoe brand that is a mixture of street and classy, urban and poetic. A diamond that will shine from all angles and keep your FIT and  lit from head to toe. The innovator, CJ Brandon, who is  a veteran in the Army National Guard, has always had a passion for fashion and a nack for the power of swag. Truly, a servant who is looking for different ways to serve his community through business.

His first design, The Limited Edition Correl8ted 1's are a Hi-top sneaker that is inspired by futuristic themes. Its sleek black, white, pink, and coal grey colorway churns top notch style and funk that will turn heads in any setting or environment. Be prepared to INSPIRE

aliveshoes.com/correl8ted

Finding your Life Purpose

Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now: find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose.

The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walkthrough of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan of going after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.

Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. ..That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

 

For example when an overweight person decides to go on a diet without changing subconscious programming they will continue to overeat and override conscious behaviors.

The conscious mind has a limited memory and most of it is short term.

The subconscious mind has infinite memory for all your experience for your entire life.

The subconscious mind can block out changes in your surroundings so you don't focus or see changes in your environment. Like driving down a street for months and not seeing a new complex or a new tree.

We have a shortage of attention and fail to notice what is going on around us including obvious changes in our surroundings.

Conscious attention is required to see requested changes from the, Law of Attraction.

Always use the, law of attraction, to focus on what is wanted and not what is unwanted. You can, have it all.

The mind focus on what we place our attention on whether negative or positive so the, law of attraction will bring you whatever you focus on.

All day every day we are placing our attention on something and engaging the, law of attraction.

Concentration on one thing and suppressing all others is the key to controlling your reality and using the, law of attraction, to, have it all.

Controlling your attention and focus is the way to control your reality.

Sponsored Ad

If you have a special occasion and you need to get that special person a special gift then head to

Watchshopus.com

If you need jewelry, watchshopus.com has it all

If you need more than a reason to shop

Use promo code “holiday 20” to save 20% off

Shop with confidence at watchshopus.com

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

How to use the Law of Attraction to change your reality

  1. Reevaluate what seems negative by focusing on the good experiences. This trains the mind only to see the positive, it teaches the subconscious to only focus on the positive and thus more positive things will be attracted into your lives through the, law of attraction.
  2. Challenge yourself in your free time. When we go into low energy modes our brain reverts to old programming, so to prevent this schedule things to do that will move the needle to your required destination of, having it all.
  3. Appreciate all the goodness that you see. We can search for happiness in our present situation. Teach the mind what we want from life. The conscious mind is the master and the subconscious mind the gene. When we train the conscious mind to focus on what we want, we can make any changes we want in our lives. What you focus on comes to you by the, law of attraction.

You can, have it all. Is it possible to have: a passionate marriage; a thriving career; a healthy beautiful body; more money than you ever dreamed possible, and enough “down” time to enjoy it – without running yourself ragged? Use the, law of attraction to, have it all.

In her book “The Art of Having It All,”  Author, Transformational Leader, and Celebrity Coach, Christy Whitman, share the precise steps she took to create radical turnarounds in the midst of potentially devastating real life situations – including freeing herself from nearly $90,000 of unwanted debt loosing 30 extra pounds,  navigating the turbulent waters of divorce, the grief of her sister’s suicide, and the life -threatening illness of her newborn son.

Book The art of having it all
Book The art of having it all

Sponsored AD

Motor Club or America is your friend on the road offering you complete piece of mind for you, your family and your vehicle. Total security benefits cover you at work, at home and even at play.

Membership includes the following and much more
Unlimited Emergency road service- for your car, boat, RV and trucks  with 100 mile towing;  Up to $500 Emergency Room Benefit, Up to $2,000 in attorney fees;  $25,000 Bail Bonds when charged with vehicular manslaughter or auto related negligent homicide; $150 daily Hospital benefit and $50,000 Accidental Death Benefit

Many more benefits and fantastic services await you. This isn't road insurance, it's road Assurance. To find out more head over to www.morethan4tows.com
And remember, when the unexpected happens, Motor Club Of America has you covered.

 

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

 

Addition Resources: Law of Attraction

How to Use the Law of Action for Success in Life

http://blog.myhelps.us/who-is-tending-your-mind-garden/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reprogram-your-unconscious-mind/

https://www.mind-your-reality.com/seven_universal_laws.html

https://www.collaborativefund.com/blog/laws/

 

Dating Advice: Why Masculine Men Commit To One Woman

Andre Paradis, relationship coach shares dating advice on what makes masculine men commit to one woman. Sometimes these masculine men are scary, but these are the guys who want a woman and a family to take care of. They want a kingdom, which is you and the kids and a family.  These, masculine men, want to provide for and cherish you.

Download podcast here:

https://2.gum.fm/https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://verifi.podscribe.com/rss/p/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/12214449-the-reason-why-men-are-walking-away-from-women.mp3?download=true

Bio

Andre Paradis, Relationship Coach, NLP Coach, Educator of Effective Communications, Published Writer, Public Speaker, and Ordained Minister. Grew up in Canada, then became a professional dancer, dancing with legends including Michael Jackson, Prince, Paula Abdul, Julio Eglesias to name a few. Later he attended a workshop called “Understanding Women.” And studied and learned from some of the biggest relationship masters (Dr. Pat Allen, Dr. Esther Perel, Dr. John Gray, Shantie Feldhan, and Alison Armstrong). He started sharing his knowledge with friends and family.

He saw that this knowledge actually helped people lead happier lives with the people they love. He found a new purpose in life… The Big Calling deep inside him. He then sold his successful auto shop and launched Project 
Equinox Coaching to help men and women learn to build stronger, long-lasting, and healthy love relationships. For some clients, he even officiates their wedding.” 
 

Myrna: I think love is in trouble. Why do you think relationships are so difficult now?

Andre: It's a no brainer, I have seen it coming for about a decade now. It is the difference between men and women. You know Men are from Mars and women are from Venus.  Men say, why did you talk so much? And women saying stuff like, he doesn't talk.  But 10 years ago, it started shifting in the past five years incredibly quick. Is the concept of equality in the world, equal rights, equal pay, equal opportunities, fantastic for the feminist movement, I get it.

The core being that men should be like women, and women should be like men to be a good woman. So, we raise women up to be strong, independent, powerful. This is fantastic. But it's sort of over calibrated into women living like men. And then we teach young men, to be sweet, sensitive, vulnerable, talkative, showing vulnerability makes them boys.

Sponsored Ad

Looking to carve out more time in 2023? Get EveryPlate and take back the clock with fewer trips to the grocery store and meals ready in 30 minutes or less. They plan the meals and deliver pre-portioned ingredients right to your door, so you can make mealtimes fit your schedule, not the other way around.

Start the year off on the right with EveryPlate's newest meal preference, Nutrish & Delish. Featuring meals around 650 calories or less, each wholesome, satisfying dish helps you stay on track of your goals without all the guesswork. Leave the calorie counting to us and dig into delicious lettuce wraps, rice bowls, and more!

Choose EveryPlate over takeout. Our meals are 58% cheaper than your average fast-casual meal! You get more bang for your bite with America’s Best Value Meal Kit. I was skeptical at first thinking meal kits might be expensive, but now I’m convinced you can get the same deliciousness at a much lower price.”

My first meal kit box came with Gravy Lovers Meatballs, Gooey Stuffed Pork Burgers and French onion chicken.  All with a 10 min prep time.  Loved it. My favorite was the French onion chicken, it was ready in 35 mins and tasted like restaurant quality.

Get started with EveryPlate for just $1.49 per meal by going to https://get.everyplate.com/podcast and entering code transform149 That’s up to a $110 value.

Everyplate meals kit
Everyplate meals kit

Why equality is the killer of romance

Myrna: Are we saying that men should be not vulnerable?

Andre: There's a lot of data on this and we'll talk about that a little bit. The opposite of what people think, people think less offers more protection towards women and children. Everything I teach is different. While the possibilities for money can bring opportunity or, equality, in the realm of relationships you depolarize everything with, equality.

Men and women need, polarity, to be attracted to each other. So, it's masculine and feminine. It's a positive magnet vs a negative magnet, it's black and white. In all the shades in between.  The more polarity in a relationship, the more effective it is. So, we are neutralizing relationships when we insist on, equality. It’s the kiss of death in relationships. Don't do it.

Myrna: You said a couple of things there. Yep. us the first thing you said was that problem is that men don't talk, men don't listen.  These are masculine traits, and the feminine traits are woman wanting to talk is no longer the problem. So, the problem with relationships today is that men are feminine and women are more masculine.

Sponsored Ad

I love shopping on Thrive market.  Not only was I able to get all my supplies for my ketogenic diet all in one place but what made it special for me was as a Thrive Market member, I can save money on every single order – on average I save over thirty percent each time!  I was able to purchase MCT oil, Ghee butter and bone broth, creamers, almond milk and much more.

Thrive Market is now my go-to for all of my grocery and household essentials, and the convenience of getting it all quickly shipped to my doorstep is a huge time saver. Not only does Thrive Market save me money, but they also save me time! I love the filters on their website or app (they have over 70!) – Whether you’re looking for certified gluten-free snacks or nontoxic cleaning essentials, you can curate your own shopping experience with the click of a button.

When you join Thrive Market, you are also helping a family in need with their 1 for 1 membership matching program. You join, they give!

Join Thrive Market today and get 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! Go to ThriveMarket.com/TRANSFORM for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!

Thrive market
Thrive market

Traits of masculine men

Andre: Correct, we have 3 types of men. The boys are the ones who lie, cheat and scam women. They don't want to work. They want women to work. They are the feminists. They say “You go girl, get that double promotion” and they lay on the couch and spoon the dog while the women work.

Then we have the guys who are somewhere in the middle.  They're masculine enough to have jobs and cars and have their own place. They don’t live in a basement of their mother's house any longer.  But when it comes to women, they don't take you out, or they'll say stuff like “what do you want to do? They are overly polite and bland, women hate that. So, these guys get to be easily reversed, rehabilitated into masculine stuff.

Now the real man, masculine men,  is a whole different beast, they know who they are because they actually were raised in a system, they had male role models and they understand the value of a man is to go conquer something in the world, build their character and push through their fears. Build a business, leave a legacy etc.  So, the problem with this, we're going to call it a problem, it's really not a problem, but the disconnect for you is that those guys are big. They're big, they're loud, they'll run you over sometimes to get where they are going.  The more masculine a man is, the more he does what he does when he feels like it. Not only that, he's not asking your permission, you're not telling him what to do. He's handling it.

Sometimes they are scary but these are the guys who want women and a family to take care of. They want a kingdom, which is you and the kids and a family.  These, masculine men, want to provide for and cherish you. The part you don’t like is they control everything and are difficult to deal with. I teach women how to deal with masculine men. Do you know how masculine men connect with women?

Sponsored Ad

Proper tax preparation is pivotal in helping you make the most of your future.

For over 15 years, Patty’s Notary and Tax has been offering tax services to small businesses and individuals. Our expertise lies in helping clients prepare for various taxes, such as:

Individual tax returns

Estate & Trust Tax that helps heirs significantly minimize the expenses relating to obtaining their inheritance. And Sales Tax returns because All businesses have sales tax obligations to state and local tax authorities. Our professionals can help clients understand the sales tax collection process.

To Schedule your consultation head over to https://www.pattysnotaryandtax.com/

Call us at 800-291-2560|

Or email us at  Taxinfo@pattysnotaryandtax.com

RadioPublic Transform your mind
RadioPublic Transform your mind

How do  masculine men connect with women

Myrna: No, I don't know, tell me.

Andre:  Masculine men, connect to, feminine women, by being in their presence. He wants to have you in his space. Most women don’t understand this, they'll say to you, Lets go to Home Depot and the woman would respond “I don't want to go there.” You just mess it up. He is inviting you in his space, no talking necessary. By the way. This is when you screw it up. If you're going to invade his space and then don't fill it up with talking. You may not get invited back into his space.

Myrna: Why do you say, equality, is the kiss of death in relationships?

Andre: If you equalize our energies together, you neutralize the demand for, polarity, and its diversity so equal relationships are not sustainable. Whether, equality, is in the form of 50/50 on everything, or, equality, in the chores, equality, will essentially kill the sexual dynamics. You become roommates after a while.

Sponsored Ad

This podcast is sponsored by Journy: Plan Life & Self care App. Journy is a personal growth organizer/planner that lets you save goals, personalized notes on categories of learning and improvement, easily watch educational content across a spectrum of categories to bolster your knowledge on a deeper level.

There are also routines in the app to help with planning and organizing.

Journy was developed by a US military veteran who wanted to help people struggling with PTSD regain a sense of control over their lives, but it can be used by anyone for personal growth, self-care and mental health. The App helps everyone maintain a sense of control, through organization, personal development, and self-care.

Download Journy: Plan Life & Self-Care App on Apple or Google Play Store or visit  www.journyapps.com

A portion of your monthly or annual subscription will be donated to refugees in need as well as providing scholarships to send kids and teens to Space Camp.

Journy: Plan Life & Self care App
Journy: Plan Life & Self care App

Why do masculine men commit to a woman

Myrna: What makes a masculine man committed to one woman?

Andre: Masculine men have a hard time finding women nowadays because they’re all masculine. Ladies if you want to be the one a masculine man commits to, you have to be a unicorn in the crowd, which means not a masculine woman but a woman with feminine essence.

Masculine Men commit to one woman for these reasons:
  1. Polarity- masculine men want feminine women.
  2. Masculine men are looking for a co- pilot, they don’t want you to fly the plane alone. They need a feminine woman to be by his side. He needs you to be a support system for the life that he has created for his family. Why masculine men commit to one woman? He wants a partner, a co-pilot.
  3. Be his confidant when he needs one. Masculine men will control, manage and lead everything, but often they'll go babe. “I don't know what to do with this. What should we do?” This is a partnership, a team that's working together, flying the plane together. Two pilots, the pilot and the copilot, the president and vice president. In every corporation somebody has to lead and somebody else has to manage.

Myrna: When a man chooses a woman, she is the one he loves and he is definitely looking for his co-pilot, but a lot of men are playing the field and not choosing a woman.  He will go out with a whole bunch of women and not commit and then one would come into his life and he'll commit immediately. So, what are the dynamics here? What you're saying is that masculine men want to settle down and start a family; only the boys want to play.

Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm
Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

Boys want to play the field

Andre: There you go. You are now getting it right, only the boys want to play the field.  Masculine men want a kingdom. They want to build a kingdom with you. That's what makes them get out of bed in the morning. They live for that stuff. Women think that sex is what makes a man settle down. That’s actually the opposite it makes them go. You're not worthy, you have zero or too low value. Who else has been in here? Not doing it. I'm not doing anything with you.

Myrna: Tell us about your coaching programs and how readers can connect with you.

Andre: My mission  is to change the culture of relationships, because what is happening out there is destroying families; destroying the possibility of healthy children.  When a family is not healthy or broken, it keeps children from building their own healthy families and having healthy children. So, when you destroy families, you destroy our culture. Now it's my mission to recalibrate the culture. So, thank you for helping me spread this word.

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

Free Relationship coaching from Andre

I have two coaching gifts actually for your listeners. the first one is for the brave and the other one is for the less brave. Coaches are the key to success whether it's a business coach or life coach, relationship coach or a nutrition coach. Whatever success you are looking for in life a coach can help. This is why the coaching industry is the growing by leaps and bounds. So, if your listeners, resonated with anything I'm saying and they want to talk to me personally then sign up for a free coaching session at  www.Andregroupcoaching.com that takes you to my calendar.

Schedule a FREE one-hour session whether it is for men or women. There is a questionnaire to help me sort of understand where you are before you're on the call and we have a zoom call like this, one on one. On that call we will figure out what's not working for you and what the dream is. I'm really good. In 15 minutes, we'll figure out exactly what things came up. It's typically  In childhood trauma or the baggage that we carry.

I can't get anybody in a healthy relationship until we understand your baggage. So, in that call, we actually unpack the baggage.  So that alone is life changing. For some people to understand there's nothing wrong with them. They just right. And from there, we're talking about the future. What is it that you want? And then I'll tell you different options if you want to work with me. You know ABCDE depending on your willingness or your finances, so that's one way to do it.

The next way is somebody's who’s not as brave you can email me directly at Andrecoaching1@Gmail.com. Write to me, tell me what's going on.  I will answer personally.

My links are listed below.

 

Website:

www.projectequinox.net

FB Page:

Project Equinox with Andre Paradis  

https://www.facebook.com/Project-Equinox-272490668761/

FB Private Group for Ladies – Free

https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=dating%20and%20relationship%20insights

YouTube:

Project Equinox with Andre Paradis

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-n26dzlCN0dcAXgubSjGQ

Instagram:

@projectequinox

 Additional Resources 

What Men Want In A Woman

How Single Women over 40 Find Love

How do, Single Women over 40, find the love they want? How do they prepare themselves in the meantime while waiting on, Love.  Where do they find, single men?

Single women, who are believing God for a partner, can enhance their in the meantime experience by having the right mindset on why they want a partner, what are the best watering holes to find a partner and how to renovate, Love's house, so that it is ready for Love.

Listen to the full interview here: 

Finding Love Introduction

I think the best, dating advice, is that when, Love's House, is fully ready for, Love, the right partner will appear.

Dating advice, for, finding love again

  1. Work on being the best you.

Become clear on your strengths and the areas that needs improvements

Eg. Are you a good housekeeper or a good cook; but you lack self-esteem and self-confidence? Then work on improving your self -confidence

  1. Advice for single women, Be clear on why you want a partner
  • Do you want a partner for security or to help pay your bills?
  • Do you want a partner because it is culturally acceptable to be married or in a relationship?
  • Are you looking for a partner to complete you?
  • Or Are you looking for a soulmate and equal partner to share your life?
  • The last one was the perfect answer. Many, single women, and some, single men, are out there looking for a partner that contributes something to their lives; but never consider what they are bringing to the table.  Why would someone choose you?

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Where do you, single women over 40, meet, single men?

The reason that so many, single men, and, single women, are still single is because it is hard to meet people.

Here are the most popular Watering holes for the, single woman.

  1. Church
  2. Bars
  3. Gym
  4. Sports events
  5. Networking events
  6. House parties
  7. Work

Most Christian, single women, would love to meet their spouse or partner in the church; but that is rare because most, single men, in church are using the church as their watering hole!

Bars are the most popular place for, single women under 40,  to meet a man; but here is some, dating advice. Bars have become hookup places for casual sex with no commitment; but in every scenario there are exceptions to the rule and you can, find love,  at a bar.

My daughter had the perfect combination, she met her Fiancé in a club; but he was also from her church!

I met my husband on a train. He was the officer who checked for tickets. The train is definitely not a watering hole; but soul mates will attract each other like a magnet in any place. Gas stations, parking lots, grocery stores, bus stop, anywhere!

I have met past boyfriends at a car wash, by friend introduction, Dance club, school, bus stop, train, and work and they were all committed relationships.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Finding love again, on Dating Sites

The newest place for, single women, to meet, single men, now are dating sites. The good thing about dating sites is that everyone on the site has the same goal, to meet a partner, or to start, dating, again.

As a realtor I love FSBO (For sale by owner) because they already want to sell their homes.  I don't have to convince them to sell, only that I am the right agent to sell their homes. Same with the dating site. You don't have to convince anyone to have a committed relationship, only that you are the one they are looking for.

Dating sites are tough if you are, finding love after a heartbreak, because it would be hard to trust. They are great for, single women over 50, because these women are not in the clubs or other social events.  They are home on their computers.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

My co-host today is Arifah Yusuf, a registered social worker and mental health counselor.

Arifah from a mental health perspective what can, single women, do to make sure they are sending the right vibes to a potential mate? Let’s say they meet someone at one of the many watering holes?

  • It’s really challenging sometimes, when it comes to giving off the right vibes, as different people enter spaces with their own intentions and interest.  It’s important for those that identify as women, to be mindful of their expectations and also have personal boundaries for themselves and others, so when engaging in conversations with, single men,  they can better be aware of the right vibes vs negative vibes, from themselves and others interacting with.  Some key tips, I would give are:
  • Before you try, finding love again, get to know yourself first and understand your past relationships (what worked/ didn’t work). This will help you get ready for a relationship, as you will be better able to recognize what you are looking for and if that relates to signs of a healthy relationship.
  • Some,  dating advice, Go to spaces where you may find someone with similar interest like you, somewhere that you feel comfortable and exudes positive energy. Most likely, you will attract  like minded, single men,   that will give off similar positive energy.
  • Be assertive and clear when communicating. Engage in conversations to discover common interest, identify personal traits.
  • When, dating, be open to new experiences.
  • Know your boundaries and if you feel someone is not respecting them, have your exit and safety plan ready.

These are some of the, dating advice, I would tell  my, single women, clients to keep in mind when thinking about meeting a, single man.

Where did you meet your husband?

  • Arifah says she met her  husband Kevin Mortley while I was working in the entertainment industry as a promoter.  He was also involved in the industry, promoting concerts for artist, and a graphic designer.  He reached out to me online and we had a conversation over the phone.

How do, Single Women, prepare, Love's House?

Almost 20 years ago, I read a book by Iyanla Vanzant called” In the meantime, finding yourself and the love you want”

The concept of this book is prepare yourself and your life for love while waiting in, Love's House.

One of the first things I remembered she said was to,

  • Start by living your, single life, like you are already in a relationship.
  • Park on your side in the driveway or garage,
  • Sleep on your side of the bed. Etc.
  • Let the Laws of Attraction work on, finding love again.

You are making room for a partner. But the synopsis of the book is to look at your, single life,  as a 3 story house, complete with a basement and an attic.

She calls this house, Love's House. Loving yourself in the meantime while you are waiting on, finding love again.

In the basement of, Love’s House, you are pretty miserable. You are hurting, lonely and disillusioned. Your emotions are blame, anger, and fear. But the basement is also a place for healing. For understanding yourself. If you don't fix yourself in the basement, you will carry that baggage and hurt into your next relationship.

Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes
Download on iTunes

Arifah how do you help, single women, heal from hurt and blame?

  • Finding love after heartbreak, first fdentify and validate the pain.
  • Express yourself –Talking to a trust friend, family member or counselor is often a good way to soothe painful emotions and support healing.
  • Self care – take a break and find time for things you enjoy or would like to try (creative activities, manicure, hairstyles, movies, journaling, baking etc.)
  • Learn from it – An attitude of learning will help you discover value in the experience. You may also discover a curious new freedom: recovering from an emotional trauma or heartbreak makes you stronger, wiser and more resilient.
  • Reinvest in your new reality. Set goals and write down the steps and supports you need to begin working on them. Spark new energy and interests into your life, to find purpose and love of something else.

On the first floor of , Love's House, you are no longer miserable and is able to look objectively at why you attract the people in your life that you do. Who are let’s say are emotionally unavailable, abusive, unsupportive etc.

On the second floor of, Love's House, single women, Love’s house is where you change the dialog from victim to player. You educate yourself to play. You read books on, finding love again, you listen to podcasts on relationships, you start improving yourself, you become the picture card that everyone man wants.

The most important, dating advice  for, single women, on the second floor is that there is nothing wrong with you. You are enough and any man should be happy to have you. Say it until you believe it if you need convincing.

The third floor of, Love's House,  is when, single women,  are living the, single life, and loving who you are as a, single woman. Content with herself, whole, needing no man to complete her. She is confident, self-sufficient,  courageous and beautiful inside and out.

The top floor is the Attic

In the attic, single women, showers themselves with unconditional Love. Single women over 40,  are able to receive the love of, single men. This is where you will begin to attract the perfect partner because negativity, does not live here.

You know what you want and, who you seek is also seeking you!

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

https://www.podbean.com/podcast-detail/acfds-6b7e1/Transform-your-Mind-Podcast

Arifah What, dating advice, you have for, single women, through the phases  of finding themselves in, love's house.

  • Make sense of your past

In order to thing about, finding love, first uncover who we are and why we act the way we do, we have to know our own story 

  • Differentiate

Differentiation refers to the process of striving to develop a sense of ourselves as independent individuals. In order to find ourselves and fulfill our unique destinies, we must differentiate from destructive interpersonal, familial and societal influences that don’t serve us.

  • Seek meaning

In order to find ourselves and, finding love after a heartbreak, we must all seek out our own personal sense of purpose. This means separating our own point of view from other people’s expectations of us. It means asking ourselves what our values are, what truly matters to us, then following the principles we believe in.

  • Recognize your personal power when, finding love again

When we know what we want, we are challenged to take power over our lives.   We are accepting ourselves as a powerful player in our own destiny. Harnessing our personal power is essential to both finding and becoming ourselves

  • Single women over 50, must silence their critical inner thoughts

This destructive thought process can be made up of a judgmental attitude that tells us we aren’t good enough to succeed or don’t deserve what we want or a soothing-seeming attitude that tells us we don’t have to try or that we need to be taken care of or controlled.

  • Know the value of friendship with, single men

We can seek out people who make us happy, who support what lights us up and who inspire us to feel passionate about our lives. Being friends while, dating, gives you the opportunity to learn things about the person that you may not have learned otherwise

Story of a, single woman, finding love after a heartbreak

In the last episode, I mentioned that I would love the listeners to join my Life coach group on Facebook.  They could ask questions and have myself and other members give them, dating advise.

Here is a question from Mari.  Her husband died last year and she wants, dating advice,  on how to start over. What should she look for in a mate?

As a, life coach, I think that, single women,  starting over or starting out, dating, again should have a list of what they want in a man.

  • It should go deeper than tall, dark and handsome!
  • You should have common interests,
  • be equally yoked,
  • have the same standard of living,
  • same religion,
  • similar sex drive.
  • The list could be lengthy and you are not going to get every thing on  your list but you are shooting for 80%.

Arifah What's your, Dating Advice, for Mari

Hi Mari, its never easy after a significant loss, or, finding love after heartbreak. There is no starting over, as your husband will still play a role in your lifestory. Moving forward, you want to know what type of role that will be, maybe its pictures in a photo album or another memory keepsake. You need to figure this out, before you move forward, as sometimes we feel guilty, which is normal; but its apart of the grieving process, allow yourself to acknowledge that is what it is and determine what new reality are you hoping for in seeking a mate.

You can start with figuring out what you want, create a love resume for yourself in terms of what would characteristics, interests, you are looking for in that, single man.  Once that's done, you are half way there to having a mindset and discovering possible spaces or friends your potential mate may visit.

I also got a question on my website. www.myhelps.com/contactus

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

This is a question from our last episode. We talked about fear and courage in our last episode.

How Do I handle the fear of, Dating, Steffy from India. Writes.

All I know is that I've a great fear. I've some kind of burden in my mind and I am not able to figure it out. I am a, single man,  I wake up in the middle of night and I have these panic attacks and stuff, tried meditation; but I am not able to concentrate. I need advice on, dating. Finding love again. The more I try the more I lose my hopes and start feeling worthless. Please help.

Since this is a mental health question I will let Arifah answer this one.

Hi Steffy, thank you for sharing your lived experience with fear.  It sounds like it is impacting your daily routine and ability to accomplish meaningful goals, such as, finding love. I want to say its common for people that are experiencing anxiety to lose hope, but you not worthless and help is available.

It may be helpful to monitor your daily routine and meals for the day, for example, stress/sugar and caffeine can increase anxiety.   Make an appointment to see your family doctor or at a clinic if you are able too, to share how you are feeling emotionally and physically.  Your doctor can provide professional advice to best help you.

In regards to fear of speaking to, single women, it’s helpful to practice writing down what you want to say, then reading it to yourself out loud or in front a mirror.  If you have friends/family you feel comfortable around and that are supportive, you can also practice public speaking in front of them first to get comfortable before larger crowds.

Breathing exercises and drinking water/herbal teas can be helpful in calming the nerves.  As well, watching videos or reading books from motivational speakers, that may offer tips you may find helpful.

Sponsored AD

Are you in a deep hole of “Financial Depression” with nowhere to turn for help? Constantly being harassed by collection agencies?

  • Columbus Financial is here to help.  Get the “Financial Freedom” That you deserve! Visit Columbus Financial & Success coach today, for Help on Financial Planning
  • Money Management
  • Debt Management
  • Credit Repair
  • Credit Consulting
  • Financial Life Coaching
  • Success Coaching

. Let one of our financial experts help you “Today”! Get your financial and personal life back in perfect alignment. Visit our website at https://columbusfinancialcoach.com/.

Additional Resources

How I Divorced My Imaginary Husband (and Got the Man of My Dreams)

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

http://blog.myhelps.us/surviving-r-kelly-mindset-sexual-predator/

How to Heal Your Brokenness

https://news.abs-cbn.com/entertainment/03/28/17/erich-gonzales-im-enjoying-my-single-life

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/05/the-reality-of-life-as-a-single-mom/

https://www.scarymommy.com/dating-a-single-mom/

 

8 Secrets to Sexy Total Health

Sexy total health, is not about how you look on the outside but on the inside. When you become conscious of these secrets, you embody, total health care.

When you become conscious of nature, mental health, presence and spirituality you have, sexy total health.

In this episode of the Transform your Mind radio and podcast, Host Myrna Young, Life Coach, interviews UDO ERASMUS, founder of Udo’s Choice, author of the book Fats and Oils: The Complete Guide to Fats and Oils in Health and Nutrition and Total Sexy Health. Udo shares his 8 secrets to Sexy, Total Health.

Udo: I can remember the fear the anxiety I had as a child growing up during the second world war in Europe,  Sometimes you will hear me say that I was born in hell; and with a lot of help from visible and invisible friends, walked a long crooked path from there to heaven. I became a good reader of adventure stories, to escape hell even in the mind.  

Sponsored AD

Are you a high-achieving woman of color who struggles with imposter syndrome, procrastination, and self-sabotage?
Are you tired of going to bed each night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, only for it to be more of the same?
Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?
Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then friends, check out the Productive on Purpose podcast. this podcast is for you! Search  Productive on Purpose”on your favorite podcast player to listen today!

Oh, and if you struggle with procrastination, go to planning.productivepurpose.com to download your free “Planning for Procrastinators” guide. It's time to start walking in our purpose.

As I grew older, along the way, I tried out many things and learned a lot. Every trade and job, every movement or breath and every step led me to the next turn on the path to find new, different and out-of-the-box possibilities.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean

I discovered that just like you  take time to go to the bathroom,  or time for breakfast everyday, you should take time to create awareness.  Go back inside to the core of your being, to the magnificence of your soul. 

You are not your body, you are the owner of the of your body. 

That is why I created, Sexy Total Health.

Sponsored AD

Are you into fashion? Are you in need of things for your home? Look no further, BENJAMIN is a leading online accessory boutique that carries a wide variety of essential, yet overlooked and sometimes hard to find fashion, home and travel accessories. From the minimalist to the ultra-luxury, it is showcased here. www.thebenjaminshop.com

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

 My question to you is,  how much time do you spend with the owner of your body to create, total health? 

Myrna: Interestingly, I was listening to Dr Deepak Chopra on  Facebook live this morning and he was teaching about communing with nature and  negative ions from plants and trees. I started touching shrubs as I passed them in the park on my morning walk. I am seeking sexy, total health, myself. 

Udo: After searching for purpose for several years, I took a job as a pesticide sprayer and ended up with pesticide poisoning. Trying to cure myself, I started studying oils and fats. Frying your foods in oil  is associated with all kinds of problems including diabetes, inflammatory diseases like arthritis, and also with cardiovascular problems. So I developed a method for making them under protection from oxygen and heat. Oils are the most sensitive and therefore most easily damaged of the essential nutrients. Light, oxygen in the air, and high temperature damage them, and then they damage your body.

Sponsored AD

Hypnosis-Everywhere with Ines Simpson explores, dissects, discusses and opens up the world of Hypnosis. You will discover that Hypnosis is a very big world indeed. In Hypnosis-Everywhere, Ines offers you tools and answers to deal with that tricky mind of yours, and proven ways to enrich your life.

Fears, Anxieties, Phobias, PTSD, Body health, Mind Health, Spiritual Health are just some of the things Hypnosis works for. Hypnosis-Everywhere is a show about our minds and the miracles we can achieve for ourselves and each other

webpage https://hypnosis.simpsonprotocol.com/hypnosis-on-the-radio

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Did you get enough of the omega-3 or  Flaxseed oil in your diet? 99% of the population don't get enough omega-3 needed for, total health care,  

Total health, is more than just using the right oils,  actually everything affects your, total health. For example your politics affect your, total health. if there's something going on that isn't  right with the heart or right with, total health care,  then it stresses you out.  

How active you are affect your sexy, total health,  the water you drink affect your, total health,  but we focus mostly on on the interaction with the world. Our kids, our employer, the religious system, or the educational system, or the political system.  Our awareness does not go inside.

Sponsored AD

“Get the HOT New best selling book “Memoirs of a Senators wife” now available free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription.  Memoirs of the senators wife  FREE for a limited time for so DOWNLOAD NOW . ”

Here are the 8 Secrets of Sexy Total Health

  1. Digestion – EXCESS CARBOHYDRATES TURN OFF YOUR FAT BURNING GENES. Since excess carbohydrates (eating more of them than your body burns) can cause many health problems, it is only logical, practical and important that your body makes sure that you burn carbohydrates first.
  2. Nutrition – Fats and oils come in two completely contradictory forms. There are fats/oils that heal, and there are fats/oils that kill. The truth is that to make good choices for better health, you have to know which is which, and then choose the fats/oils that heal. More physical health problems come from bad (damaged) oils than from any other part of nutrition. Knowing how to use oils is essential to sexy, total health. 
  3. Mental health – Becoming aware of being aware, you discover both the calm stillness that is awareness’ nature, and everything else that unfolds in that stillness. Real, true, personal peace and mental health has its roots in the core of your existence beyond your senses. With that awareness, you can solve the challenges and conflicts within you and surrounding you. Mental health is essential to, total health.
  4. Presence – Presence underpins your essence and being. Your emptiness is not empty. It’s filled with your undiscovered magnificence and the precursor to sexy, total health.  Don’t get stuck in the words. Words only point at essence; they are not essence. Let them float in the space of your being, and become aware of that space in you.
  5. Consciousness – Consciousness is the field physicists call God.  Consciousness is everywhere. It is omnipresent, in charge of everything going on in the entire universe.
  6. Emotional awareness – Lack of awareness of your internal foundation begins your problems. Awareness of that internal foundation makes practical solutions to your problems available and accessible. Aware and focused in stillness, you find insights and knowledge. Stillness is the only known reliable practice for deepening insights. They are your best source of power, wisdom and manifestation. Live your life focused. Be focused in the present, which contains all that exists. Nothing is more powerful than the present moment.
  7. Natural living – clean water, clean food, clean air and being in nature
  8. Sleep –  is Life Energy it inspires creativity  and necessary for sexy, total health. 

Download your FREE copy of  Total Sexy Health Here:

https://www.totalhealthmembership.com/a/18255/VjRWdLPs

Sponsored AD

Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now: find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose.

The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walk-through of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan of going after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.

Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. ..That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LP1uiHcAik8&feature=youtu.be

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/using-muse-guided-meditations-to-reduce-stress/

How to be Happy: The Happiness Formula

How Nutritional Supplements Help you Achieve Optimum Health

https://www.muscleandstrength.com/articles/sexy-health-equals-healthy-sex.html

https://www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/1033497/reasons-feeling-sexy-is-important-for-your-health/

Black History Month: Toni Morrison and The Black Female Experience

This Black History month, I would like to feature Toni Morrison, for her literary excellence. Toni Morrison is a Nobel Prize Winner, a Pulitzer Prize winner, and awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom.  Morrison is an American writer noted for her examination of Black experience (particularly Black female experience) within the Black community. Let's take a moment to honor this literary genius this, black history month.

Download the podcast here:

https://2.gum.fm/https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://verifi.podscribe.com/rss/p/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/12221409-black-history-month-toni-morrison-and-the-black-female-experience.mp3?download=true

Toni Morrison for Black History month

Toni Morrison, original name Chloe Anthony Wofford, (born February 18, 1931, Lorain, Ohio, U.S.—died August 5, 2019, Bronx, New York), American writer noted for her examination of Black experience (particularly Black female experience) within the Black community. She received the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1993.

Morrison grew up in the American Midwest in a family that possessed an intense love of and appreciation for, Black culture. Storytelling, songs, and folktales were a deeply formative part of her childhood. She attended Howard University (B.A., 1953) and Cornell University (M.A., 1955). In 1965 Morrison became a fiction editor at Random House, where she worked for a number of years.

Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

Toni Morrison The Bluest Eyes

Morrison’s first book, The Bluest Eye (1970), is a novel of initiation concerning a victimized adolescent Black girl who is obsessed by white standards of beauty and longs to have blue eyes. This book was my introduction to Toni Morrison.  I loved this book.  I loved the character, how Morrison showed a poor black girl struggling not only with her looks but with becoming a young lady, and wanting to be beautiful like her white blue eye dolls. At the time when I read this book a lot of black women were putting in blue contact lenses including my daughter.  This book really brought it home and allowed black women to start loving our skin, eyes, hair and black features.

In 1973 a second novel, Sula, was published; it examines (among other issues) the dynamics of friendship and the expectations for conformity within the Black community.

Song of Solomon (1977) is told by a male narrator in search of his identity; its publication brought Morrison to national attention. Tar Baby (1981), set on a Caribbean island, explores conflicts of race, class, and sex.

Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

Toni Morrison's Beloved

Toni Morrison became mainstream with her critically acclaimed book called Beloved (1987), which won a Pulitzer Prize for fiction, is based on the true story of a runaway slave who, at the point of recapture, kills her infant daughter in order to spare her a life of slavery. A film adaptation of the novel was released in 1998 and starred Oprah Winfrey. The again was powerful for me. The character of Beloved was played to perfection by Thandiwe Newton and showcases how Sethe’s guilt,  played by Oprah Winfrey can reincarnate and haunt us in this life.

In 1992 Morrison released Jazz, a story of violence and passion set in New York City’s Harlem during the 1920s. Subsequent novels were Paradise (1998), a richly detailed portrait of a Black utopian community in Oklahoma, and Love (2003), an intricate family story that reveals the myriad facets of love and its ostensible opposite. A Mercy (2008) deals with slavery in 17th-century America. In the redemptive Home (2012), a traumatized Korean War veteran encounters racism after returning home and later overcomes apathy to rescue his sister. In God Help the Child (2015), Morrison chronicled the ramifications of child abuse and neglect through the tale of Bride, a Black girl with dark skin who is born to light-skinned parents.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Toni Morrison and the Black American Experience

It is great to showcase Toni Morrison's work for, Black History month, because The central theme of Morrison’s novels is the, Black American experience; in an unjust society, her characters struggle to find themselves and their cultural identity. Her use of fantasy, her sinuous poetic style, and her rich interweaving of the mythic gave her stories great strength and texture. In 2010 Morrison was made an officer of the French Legion of Honour. Two years later she was awarded the U.S. Presidential Medal of FreedomToni Morrison: The Pieces I Am (2019) is a documentary about her life and career.

Additional Resources

How Black Fathers Can replace the Absentee Dad Myth

A Personal Development Blog and Podcast