How does Infidelity Affect Intimacy and Desire for Our Partner

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How does infidelity affect intimacy

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Today on WDJY 99.1 FM straight talk radio our topic is “How does Infidelity affect Intimacy and Desire for our Partner ”
We all Desire to be in loving fulfilling relationships with our Partners, our children, our friends and co-workers. We desire to have successful careers, some of us desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy, and today we are going to touch on our desire for our partners to be faithful to their commitment to us.

But what happens when they don’t? Statistics show that as much of 70% of men and women cheat on their spouses and committed partners.

My co -host for this episode is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste Intimacy Coach and, I am a Mindset Coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “How does Infidelity affect Intimacy and Desire for our partner”

What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.

The dictionary calls Alchemy a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination.

I will tell you from personal experience that there is nothing that transforms an intimate relationship into something magical, like the surety that your partner will not break his vows or commitment to you, that he or she loves you unconditionally and would not look at another.

Not too many of us can walk in that space, being able to swear that our partners would not cheat on us.

This is Intimacy

Let’s recap. In our first episode we talked about how to manifest the desires of your heart. The first step is knowing what you want. The second step is adding emotions to it

In our second episode we talked on how to use the energy of desire to create something magical.

In our 3 episode we Used the Power of Attention to light our desires afire.

If you missed those 3 episodes, please download on then on iTunes, Sticher or TuneIn podcast.

Today we want to turn up the heat another notch as we talk about the controversial subject of Infidelity and how it changes Intimacy.

So, lets dive right in.
Margo is an Intimacy coach with One Taste. So let’s start off our discussion today by having her weigh in on the conversation.

Ben Newman ART

Illustrations of an intense desire for intimacy

UK Artist Ben Newman brings a different kind of taste to satirical art. This is sultry and saucy at the same time.
His boldness in combining sexy female characters with robots present in the fantasy world is amazing with an intense desire for intimacy.

Show Notes:
1. Question 1: Margo as an intimacy coach, how has your clients dealt with infidelity?
2. How have you dealt with infidelity?
3. What happens when Desire goes looking somewhere else?

History will show that men don’t need a reason to cheat on their partner. But for this discussion we will look at the Lack of Desire for the reason for the infidelity.

What can we do when desire dries up and we no longer feel the spark for our partners?

Men like uncertainty, they like variety. Most men who cheat don’t want to leave home. They love their spouse and like the security of home but they seek adventure.

I was just reading the unauthorized biography of Angelina Jolie. Her father John Voight was tempted by great sex and cheated on her mother who promptly left him when Angelina was 6 months old. John Voight had no interest in leaving his wife and 2 kids but the lure of exciting sex was something he could not pass up. That dalliance had far reaching consequences for his children and himself. He would be seeking a family for decades to come.

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But men don’t have to go outside the home for exciting sex. As women we could bring the excitement and adventure to our bedroom. We could bring the feeling of having an affair to our bedroom.

Whatever you are doing now, we could do something different. If you always make love with all your clothes on, in the bed with the lights out; then start making love on the couch, fully clothed, with all the lights on!

Become the mistress. Meet in a hotel, set up dates, role play and dress up, send sexually explicit text messages.

I remember a friend of mine who divorced her husband because she found a video his mistress sent to him. That is how the women are stealing our men, they excite them.

Okay, enough of the men having unmet needs and looking for excitement in the bedroom. What about our unmet needs?
Women have unmet need as well and are catching up to men as they too are looking outside the home for fulfillment of their desires.

Question 5: Margo, how can women communicate their unmet desires to their partners?

Question 6: How do we as women deal with the betrayal of our spouse or partners?

There are several schools of thought about this topic.
1. If you want things to change, you have to change.
Maybe you are a nag, maybe you don’t like sex, maybe you take no pride in your appearance, maybe you have trust issues, maybe you are boring.
You have to know yourself to grow yourself.

2. Ask yourself what have I invested into this relationship? Are you a taker or do you contribute to the peace and happiness of your man?
I remember Jennifer Gardner saying when asked that it was not Ben Afflec role to make her happy. He cheated on her with the nanny. She was taking stock in what she brought to the table and understood it was not someone’s else role to make her happy. Happiness comes from our true self.
You can’t give away what you don’t have.

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How to Use the Energy of Desire to Create Something Magical

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The Alchemy of Desire

Today on Mindset Transformation Radio and podcast, we are continuing with our series on the Alchemy of Desire. How to transform the Energy of Desire to Create Something Magical inside and outside of the Bedroom.
My co -host for this series is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste intimacy coach. And of course I am a Mindset coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “the Alchemy of Desire”

What is Desire? – Desire can be called the Feminine face of God! I love this sentence! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.
We Desire for our partners physically and spiritually, we desire our careers, we desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy.

Let me share with you the meaning of Alchemy.
The dictionary calls Alchemy a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination. That includes.
“finding the person who’s right for you requires a very subtle alchemy”

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The Alchemy of Desire by Tarun J. Tejpal
In his book Mr Tajpal tells the story of a young couple, penniless but gloriously in love. Obsessed with each other, they move from a small town to the big city, where the man, who dreams of being a writer, works feverishly on a novel, stopping only to feed his ceaseless desire for his beautiful wife.

This book offers, in searing, lucid prose, a deeply sensual and moving meditation on the nature of desire, history, truth, and art.

One Taste Coaching program called the Alchemy of Desire teaches Tantra, and how to use erotica to transform your desires into something magical. My co-host Margo Blake is an intimacy coach who works with couples to achieve their desires.

The word desire does not only belong with sexual desires. As a Mindset Coach, I want to coach you on how the Energy of Desire can transform your life. I want to teach you how you can harness desire to create and transform your world. The Alchemy of Desire.

Behind every desire is the need to feel good! On our last episode of the, Mindset Transformation radio show, I asked you to feel your desires and bring them into the present moment with emotion. I am sure that when you think of your desires you feel good, otherwise you would be called a sadist! Everything you desire is because you think it will bring you some form of pleasure. I will also hazard a guess that your desires is for some form of experience.

Here are 7 major positive emotions and Desire heads up the list.
The seven positive emotions are:
1. Desire
2. Faith
3. Love
4. Sex
5. Enthusiasm
6. Romance
7. Hope

Here is the process that starts with desire. You desire something, then you package it with positive emotion. Thoughts are energy travelling at a high rate of vibration. Thoughts that have been modified or stepped up by any of the major positive emotions vibrate at a much higher rate than ordinary thought.

Energy of Desire

Then you auto suggest this desire to your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is the sending station of the brain in which vibrations of thought are broadcasted. The creative imagination is the receiving center.

Your creative imagination picks this message up and desire is formed. I was watching television documentary a few months back. They were talking about marriage and the difference between men and women as far as their desires for their wedding day. They said that every 7 year old girl has already visualized her wedding day. She has imagined the groom, what she will be wearing, what her bridesmaids will be wearing etc. While the boys only visualize the girl.

So, if we follow this path. The 7 year old desires to be married. She imagines how great she would feel walking down the aisle in her beautiful white gown looking her most beautiful. The man at the alter looks lovingly at her and looks like her idol. She has imagined the entire wedding and her entire life after. The great thing about this desire is that if she continues to dream every day and infuse her desire with positive emotion, her dreams will come true.

We must marry thought and emotion to give us the ability to have the things we want. That is how we create the Alchemy of Desire

Margo, give us an example of how the energy of sexual desire for your partner can transform the relationship and create something special?

What do you Want?

The first thing is that you have to figure out what you want.
Then you have to ask your partner to give you what you want.
Then you must be present to receive it.
After you get what your want and your desires are met then you must be grateful and play it forward.
Now it is your turn to meet the desires of your partner and repeat the cycle.

In our last episode we talked about 2 of the ways renowned sexologist Jaiya believes that we are wired. We discussed the Energetic and the Sensual. Jaiya is the author of Red Hot Touch ? Today I though we could look at the Sexual and the Kinky.

To review, here are the 5 sexual blueprints.
11. Energetic: Turned on by space, tease and anticipation.
12. Sensual: Turned on by comfort, relaxation and all the senses ignited.
13. Sexual: Turned on by nudity and flat out sexual intercourse.
14. Kinky: Turned on by the taboo and power play.
15. Shapeshifter: Turned on by all of the above.

So Margo, since today we are looking at how to transform the energy of desire into creating something magical. How can a sexually wired person maybe transform into a sensual person and incorporate some romance into the bedroom?

How can a Kinky person who feels that her desires are taboo communicate and transform the energy in the bedroom?
(Tune in to listen to Margo’s answer)

This episode of the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast is being brought to you by Hypnosis Everywhere and Mix_Amore.

Today we talked about the energy of desire and how you can harness this energy to create transformation in your lives.

I want to leave you with this thought. I want you to remember that your soul records every moment, every conversation, every dream, every desire. Every desire that reaches our brain is recorded in our subconscious. If you are hypnotized, the hypnotist can take you back to the womb.

Last week Margo told us that we can feel a true desire in our body. A desire is true when our bodies communicate it to us and not just our minds. Use that nervous energy or the enthusiasm, or the feelings of love to transform and create something magical!

Remember to support our sponsors today MIX_AMORE and Hypnosis Everywhere.
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I would love to hear your desire? Speak it into the atmosphere and give it form. You can comment on this blog or email it to me @ info@myhelps.us
Also remember to subscribe to this podcast. You can now listen on:

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The Alchemy of Desire

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The Alchemy of Desire

What is the Alchemy of Desire? – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in our spirit to lead us to our purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.
We have Desire for our partners physically and spiritually, we desire our careers, we desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy.

So why the topic the Alchemy of Desire you ask again?

My co-host today is Margo Blake, a One Taste coach. One Taste has a coaching workshop called the Alchemy of Desire. This workshop focuses on sexual desire; and I wanted to expand that Alchemy of sexual desire to encompass all desires.

Let me share with you the meaning of Alchemy.
The dictionary calls Alchemy a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination. That includes.
“finding the person who’s right for you requires a very subtle alchemy”

The book the Alchemy of Desire was made famous by
by Tarun J. Tejpal

In his book Mr Tajpal tells the story of a young couple, penniless but gloriously in love. Obsessed with each other, they move from a small town to the big city, where the man, who dreams of being a writer, works feverishly on a novel, stopping only to feed his ceaseless desire for his beautiful wife.

A chance occurrence allows the lovers to abandon the city for a mist-shrouded spur of the lower Himalayas and move into a sprawling old house, which they hope will embody their love. At first they pursue their deep physical need with a reckless intensity. But during renovations of the house, a set of diaries written by the original inhabitant—a glamorous American adventuress—is unearthed, and the narrator finds himself irresistibly drawn away from his wife and thrust into another world and time, into the hole of history. As his life and love fall apart, he slowly begins to uncover the dark secrets at the heart of her story, until the shocking truth is laid bare and all certainties are overturned.
It also offers, in searing, lucid prose, a deeply sensual and moving meditation on the nature of desire, history, truth, and art.

The word desire does not only belong with sexual desires. As a mindset coach I created a work shop to help me and my clients manifest the desires of our hearts. As mentioned in the definition of the word Alchemy. Alchemy is the magical process of transformation and creation.

• We must identify the desires we most want to have and then breathe life into them with the power of our emotions.
• To bring the quantum possibility into particle existence emotions is the key.
• Emotions is the only way to give power to our thoughts and animate them.
• When we focus conscious energy towards what is desired and give it life through emotion, what we desire will always show up.
• I teach my clients to create a list of all the attributes they desire.
• Its Like going into a restaurant and ordering your desire. What do you want to eat?
• You don’t just go into the restaurant and order whatever they are serving; so you shouldn’t do that with your life either.
• Be clear on what you want to create. It is important to live life from that vantage point. Imagine your most important desire is already yours, imagine that it is already happening.

To do this Ask yourself the following questions:
• 1. What is life like now that I have the thing I want the most?
• 2. How is life different than it was before when I didn’t have the thing that I want the most?
• 3. How is my time spent differently?
• 4. How does it feel when I wake up in the morning?
• 5. What does my new day look like?
• 6. Where do I lay my head at night?
• 7. Who is with me?
• 8. What type of new experiences am I having?

Feel the emotions. Emotions is what activates the Law of Attraction.

Thought – located in the upper region of the body. Encompasses the throat, third eye and crown Chakra. This area of the body is responsible for creation. All your desires are created here. Your third eye is in the middle of your forehead between your eyes and your crown Chakra is the top of your head.

Feeling – when thoughts and emotions are combined, they meet at the Heart Chakra. Feelings come into play when the mind interprets emotions.
• When you change the attached emotions to your thoughts, it will creates different feelings.
• We must marry thought and emotion to give us the ability to have the things we want. That is how we create the Alchemy of Desire.


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I was listening to a Tony Robbins podcast last week and the host was interviewing renowned sexologist Jaiya. Jaiya is the author of Red Hot Touch ? Jaiya told a personal story in which she said she is wired as an Energetic. Energetics according to Jaiya are able to achieve sexual fulfillment by tapping into the energy in the bedroom.
• The energetic is turned on by arousal, tease, anticipation and space. They’re very turned on by light touch, slow touch, and feeling very safe.

Her partner on the other hand was wired as a Sensual.
According to Jaiya, the sensual is turned on by all of their senses being ignited. Tastes, smells, beauty, they really want beauty and they bring beauty into a sensual sexual space. They also love candles, romance, music, bathtub time, massage, full body touch.

So, Jaiya says that for 3 years she would get into bed and initiate sex and her partner would turn his back and say he was tired and not in the mood. She said she would cry herself to sleep because she felt that her partner did not love her any more and was no longer sexually attracted to her.

Her partner on the other hand said he was tormented because he felt like a looser because he could not satisfy his woman. This went on like I said for 3 years until finally they figured out that he needed the sensual to get aroused and was not turned on by her chop chop let’s do this attitude.

How do you coach your clients to bridge incompatibilities in the bedroom?

Tune in to listen how Margo coaches her couples to communicate in the bedroom.