Tag Archives: domestic violence

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How To Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse

July 20, 2022 Myrna Young

As mothers we must be vigilant and protect our children from predators; but most of us do not think we have to protect them from, sexual abuse, from their own fathers. Maralee McLean shares her story of her 12-year battle to protect her daughter from, sexual abuse, from her biological father.

Today I am speaking with Maralee McLean. Maralee shares her experience with, sexual abuse, from a parent. This is a very personal story for Maralee, and I applaud her braveness and her transparency.

I've spoken several times on the show and this blog, of my , sexual abuse, as a child. I wrote a book about my story “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” So what I hope to do today is help Maralee bring awareness to, sexual abuse, in the home by family members.

Protective mothers against sexual abuse

This nightmare became real for Maralee McLean, and her book “Prosecuted but not Silenced” details it. The entire narrative of “protective mothers”, mothers who have to share custody of their children with dangerous, abusive men; defies belief. People with background knowledge of the plight of protective mothers will recognize many themes of Maralee’s story.

Woman falls in love with a “nice guy” who turns violent, uses the divorce to unleash a previously unimaginable level of cruelty and violence, and a court system so blinded to this evil and to the needs of children, they facilitate it. But for those who still find Maralee’s story beyond belief, there is almost a hundred pages of appendices providing the actual documentation mentioned in the chapters of the book, as well as background on issue.

• This book deals with child, sexual abuse, it’s impossible to write a book about child, sexual abuse, without describing child, sexual abuse, there are some concrete and medical description of child, sexual abuse, Readers easily triggered by that should skip through those descriptions, but by no means should they not read the book.
• In some ways, this book is the strongest testimony to the mother-child bond I’ve ever read. It’s also a testimony to why that bond should not be broken capriciously, and why a system that does, cannot be tolerated. This book deals with how our society is willing to sacrifice children on an altar of egos and ideologies. And it illustrates why that must stop.

Domestic violence is a red flag for sexual abuse

There's lots of these cases today of protective moms that can't protect their children, so that's one of the reasons I'm telling this story. I had I've been married to a, Domestic Violence abuser, and I really got out of my marriage carefully. Before we got married there were no red flags or books out there to tell you about these kinds of men. I thought a woman had been physically abused for it to be, domestic violence.

I didn't understand control and emotional abuse and psychological abuse. I suffered all those abuses. I tell young girls today, especially in college, if they see red flags, run because if they marry that guy and have a child with him, you're in this for life because that child will be possibly abused. I not saying, sexual abuse, but abuse in other forms.

My red flags were that he would be a perfectly nice guy and then his eyes would change in an instant to scary evil looking eyes.

We were married for many years before I had a baby but once I divorced him, there was a lot going through the divorce in itself. I mean I was stalked, emotionally abused, some physical and psychological. He would write editorials to the newspaper about our divorce, and they would print them and they not even true.

Sexual abuse in your home

When my daughter was a baby, her father did not want anything to do with her but once she turns like around 2 years old, he started wanting to see have visitation. This one time on a visitation our two-year-old daughter was wearing this little pink dress, her long dark hair was in a ponytail, her little blue eyes that danced and everyone on the street literally stopped me to talk to her and I say her sweet she looked.

I dropped her off at her dad at 4 pm for a 3-hour visit. When I went to pick her up about 7:00 pm that evening, I knocked at the door and there was no answer. I thought well that's weird. I knocked again, still no answer. Finally, he comes to the door, and I saw my daughter’s clothes are strewn all over the living room floor. He goes upstairs and brings her down the stairs. She was covered in sweat and limp in his arms.

Her hair was matted to her head. I asked him what the heck happened to her; my gut pulled tight. He said she got sick. I said well that’s funny because she was fine a few hours ago. I got her clothes together got her dress and got her out of there fast; but I at that point I never would dream he would, sexually abuse, his daughter. I always thought he'd be the greatest father that was one of the reasons I'd married him. I never saw any indication of, sexual abuse, or anything like that in him before this. I thought well she just got sick at his place.

Proving sexual abuse is a nightmare

Social services set up supervised visits and he was the perfect father. Then one day I met The Guardian Ad litem, which is a lawyer for the child. I go into this room, and they had other social workers there and the father and she interrogated me like nothing I've ever seen on TV. Why would your daughter continue to say, sexual abuse, if you weren't coaching her?

I said have you talked to the babysitter who spent quality time with my little girl? She had been on the case for 3 months and she had not met the babysitter.

She said this is, parental alienation, I didn't even know what, parental alienation, meant at the time. This is a term I'll bring up later. She says this child going into foster care. She already had a foster care home lined up before she even talked to me. I am beyond belief. Her father and I are not even living together. They were going to put my baby into foster care and totally traumatize her. She's never been away from me. I'm the sole caretaker. But I held it together, because I knew if I emotionally went nuts they would say I was not a fit mother.

After they took my baby, I lay my head on a desk and cried as if my soul was just ripped out of me. Then I drove a hundred miles an hour to Dr. Baker's office. I walked in with my makeup all over my face. They just took my baby from me, you know the truth, fight for us.
It took me 12 years to get my baby back.
Click the link below to listen to the rest of this powerful story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7atnnDykwb0&t=405s

Additional Resources
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-overcome-the-pain-domestic-violence-child-molestation/
http://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/313252392_Prosecuted_but_Not_Silenced_Courtroom_Reform_for_Sexually_Abused_Children_by_Maralee_McLean
https://stopabusecampaign.org/what-is-a-protective-mother/
https://stopabusecampaign.org/campaigns/custody-court-crisis/custody_court/parental-alienation-syndrome/

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Will Smith Had 10 Seconds To Choose A Different Reality

April 1, 2022 Myrna Young

Will Smith, had 10 seconds to choose a different, thought, before the, concrete set, and, reality, hardened when he slapped Chris Rock on national television

I just finished reading Will Smith’s biography “Will” I really enjoyed reading his book and recommend it to anyone interested in changing their mindset.

There were 3 main quotes from, Will Smith's, book that I loved, one of them was “You have 10 seconds until the concrete sets and, reality, hardens.” I think this is a good time to talk about what that really means and reference what happened at the, 94^th Oscars, between, Will Smith, and, Chris Rock.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10361006-will-smith-had-10-seconds-to-choose-a-different-reality.mp3?download=true

Will Smith's Biography “Will”

The book starts off with, Will Smith, calling himself a, coward, because he watched his father often slap his mother and reign terror on his family as a child. He felt he was a, coward, because he didn’t do anything about it.

His father’s legacy was also the year that he made, Will Smith, and his brother Harry build a concrete wall so Will learned his concrete, analogy, from personal experience “You have 10 seconds until the, concrete sets, and, reality, hardens.

Will used this analogy when his friend and fellow performer Ready Rock did not come out on stage for his set when he called for him, because he was jealous of Will’s success. He gave him 10 seconds to make a better choice and when he didn’t, reality, set and Will never called for him again.

He used this same concrete, analogy, of, reality, setting, when his girlfriend Melonie was about to go out somewhere and he told her not to go and she walked through the door anyway. The, concreate set, and the, reality, was that it was over. Will Smith, set her clothes on fire and never saw her again.

Will Smith Slaps Chris Rock

By now you have all heard or seen the, slap, on national television. Will Smith, did not like something that, Chris Rock, said about his wife. Chris Rock, make fun of her hair, and now he himself had 10 seconds until the, concrete set, to change that, reality. 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3, Will Smith, walked up on stage and slapped, Chris Rock, in the face and the, concrete set, and reality hardened.

He can never take that back regardless how much he cries, how much he apologizes he can never take it back, it will live on, on the internet forever.

The concrete has set and, reality, hardened. Whether you believe, Chris Rock, was wrong to joke about Jada’s bald head, we know it was wrong for, Will Smith, to walk on stage at the, Oscars, and, slap, him.

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Will Smith Grew up with Domestic Violence

Will Smith's father was a bully and he grew up with domestic violence, seeing his father slap his wife and kids until his mother eventually left him, and in an out of body experience, Will Smith, became his dad. He got out of his seat and slapped someone because he did not like what he said about his wife.

In his autobiography, published in November 2021, the actor describes at length the appalling, domestic violence, he and his three siblings witnessed his father, Willard, inflict on his mother.

“When I was nine years old, I watched my father punch my mother in the side of the head so hard that she collapsed,” he wrote. “I saw her spit blood. That moment in that bedroom, probably more than any other moment in my life, has defined who I am. I am a, coward”

Will Smith thinks he is a coward

Will Smith, says “Within everything that I have done since then — the awards and accolades, the spotlights and attention, the characters and the laughs — there has been a subtle string of apologies to my mother for my inaction that day. For failing her in the moment. For failing to stand up to my father. For being a, coward.

“What you have come to understand as ‘Will Smith’, the alien-annihilating MC, the bigger-than-life movie star, is largely a construction – a carefully crafted and honed character designed to protect myself. To hide myself from the world. To hide the, coward.”

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio — TuneIn Radio

Training the mind to make a better choice

So how do we make better choices in the 10 seconds before the, concrete sets? You have to, train the mind. Just like you can’t learn to swim when you are drowning, you can’t make good choices when you are thrown in the fire; unless the, mind, is trained on what to do in the fire and then takes over on autopilot.

Start training your mind to make the right choices because when the, concrete sets, there is no going back, reality, becomes permanent.

When you feel that rage bubbling up inside you, choose a better, thought. Count to 10 and breathe because the devil is driving around looking for people to destroy. The prison is full of both men and women who had 10 seconds to choose and made the wrong choice.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast — Podbean

What would have happened if Will Smith chose a better thought

Ready Rock made the wrong choice, Melonie made the wrong choice and now Will Smith, made the wrong choice. Let’s imagine that, Will Smith, had continued to pretend that he liked the joke. In those 10 seconds he would have laughed while seething inside, 40 mins later he would have accepted his, academy award, and realized that had reached the pinnacle of his career. The concrete would have set on joy and victory and he would have gone home and forget about Chris Rock’s joke, but the, concrete set, on a bad choice and now no one will forget.

Conclusion

This is Coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Hope to see you back here next week until next time blessings

Additional Resources

Can you recognize your failure symptoms?

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