Tag Archives: how to let go of grudges

The Dangers of Holding Grudges: Lessons from Herodias and John

In the intricate tapestry of human relationships, grudges can often emerge as toxic threads that poison the bonds we share with others. Holding grudges can distort our perceptions, obstruct our ability to make sound decisions, and tether us to feelings of helplessness.

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The Bible tells us in Mark chapter 6 that Herodias, Herod’s wife, bore a grudge against John and wanted to kill him; but without Herod’s approval she was powerless. So she waited like a serpent for her time and it came when her daughter pleased the king with her dance and he promised her anything she wanted. Her mother told her to ask for John’s head.

This plays out every day in the modern world. You say something quite innocently and someone takes offense and secretly plots to harm you.

Nobody is cutting off anyone’s head today, but a well placed word in the right ears and you don’t get the promotion or your best friend spreads something you told her in confidence to shame you.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

The Story of Herodias grudge against John:

Mark chapter 6 introduces us to the complex dynamic between Herod Antipas, the ruler of Galilee, and, John the Baptist, a fearless preacher and prophet. Herod had married Herodias, his brother's wife, which was against Jewish law and morality. John fearlessly denounced this union, prompting Herodias to harbor a deep-seated grudge against him.

Herodias' Grudge and Its Consequences:

Herodias' grudge against John festered in her heart, eventually leading to a chilling decision. The accumulation of her anger and resentment compelled her to hatch a sinister plot to kill John. However, her nefarious intentions were thwarted by a crucial factor—Herod's reluctance to give his approval for John's execution.

The Helplessness of Resentment:

Herodias' desire to harm John reveals a stark reality about grudges: they have the potential to blind individuals to reason and lead them down treacherous paths. And sometimes not always the weapon they formed against you boomerangs right back at them.

Holding grudges can distort our perceptions, obstruct our ability to make sound decisions, and tether us to feelings of helplessness. It is a useless emotion. You have heard the saying that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Herodias was given a gift when Herod asked her daughter what she wanted if not she would have sat with her grudge and suffered because she was powerless to anything about it.

I said that to say the person you hold a grudge against is going on with their lives and probably having a better one than yours. Just as Herodias' resentment rendered her powerless without Herod's consent, our own animosities can leave you trapped in a, cycle of negativity,  and inaction.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Forgiveness as a Path to Healing grudges:

Forgiveness is the way out. Nobody ever does anything they believe is wrong. Chances are whatever they did was not personal. By choosing to let go of grudges, we free ourselves from the shackles of bitterness and open the door to personal growth and reconciliation. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, but a courageous step towards breaking the, cycle of resentment.


The tale of Herodias and John serves as a potent reminder of the dangers inherent in holding onto grudges. It urges us to reflect on the impact of resentment on our lives and relationships, and encourages us to choose forgiveness as a powerful means of transcending negativity. Just as Herodias' grudge proved to be her downfall, our own capacity for forgiveness can lead us towards greater understanding, empathy, and a more harmonious existence.

Additional Resources 

How to Communicate with your Guardian Angel