How to Play to Win with the Cards you are Dealt in Life

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Are you a #meToo survivor? Dealt some bad cards in life? Find out “how to play to win” by tuning in to this podcast to learn How to play with the cards you were dealt in life.
We are live on location at the Main Broward Library in Fort Lauderdale. I will be discussing my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement.
You will also hear from a panel of speakers as we discuss the topic “How to play with the Cards you were dealt in Life.”

I wrote this book with the intention of drawing life lessons from various aspects of my Life.
For example the first life event that I introduced in my book
is as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and being born into poverty.
The life lesson I share here is that

You don’t have to be a victim in life; instead become a player.

Just like in the game of blackjack, if the dealer is
showing a picture card and you only have small cards, you don’t chuck your hand in and say there’s no way that I can win.
All you need is the intention to win and guess what, your hand is going to get better.

Quitters Never Win and Winners Never Quit

On this podcast my panel of speakers are:
Genese Vertus
Coach Dan Willms
And Coach Jenny Wang

Here is a short excerpt from my book:

Out of the Snares

I was born into a family with nothing, my mother and
grandmother were both domestic servants. My dad was in Teachers College and did not know his real father. He lived with his mom and stepfather who was an alcoholic.
In 1959 Guyana was a British colony of England.
Just like England colonized India and took all the wealth out of India, in a similar way England took all of Guyana’s
resources out of the country.
Most of the Blacks and Indians were living in poverty. My mom and grandmother worked for white English folk.
As a child I was always fed and had clothes and shoes to wear.
My mom and grandmother both made our clothes.
So, it was understandable that I would be drawn to my godfather, who was a
wealthy man with several houses, several cars and a corner shop filled with
snacks and chocolate bars. Mr. Clark as I will call him took a liking to me beyond that of a Godfather and treated me like his grandchild.
I spent a lot of time at his house. He took me out with
his family every weekend and really showered me with things.
He gave me food, gold chains and gold bracelets, he was also a goldsmith.
I ended up sleeping over at his house several times per week and playing with his grandchildren. He used to like to bounce me on his knee with his legs massaging my private parts.
One day my memory recalls, I was about five
years old, he braced me up against the wall and caressed my body.
As I got older the touching became more intimate.
He would rub my legs whenever I was close.
His favorite was the feeling me up in the front seat of his car while driving me to school.
His hand would be under my skirt fingering my private parts.
I was sure that people in other cars could see him doing this to me;
but he said they could not.
This continued for several years and then one day he took me
behind his shop and took my virginity with his fingers.
I didn’t tell anyone I’m not sure why. I do remember thinking that I
loved him so much and wanted to die before he did.
Mr. Clark started getting a reputation
for liking little girls and my dad asked
me if Mr. Clark ever touch me, I lied and said he had not.

I’m going to skip a couple of paragraphs, I don’t want to get
into the nitty-gritty details here.
I’m going to read to you now my conclusion of this chapter.

How did I play to win? Looking back, if I were to collapse my consciousness
and become the observer in this experience, I would say that at some
subconscious level I knew what we were doing was wrong.
I’m not sure why I chose to keep it a secret.
Research shows that children never tell, they become ashamed and feel that
they are to blame. I know I have always felt shamed. It took me a very, very, long time to share my story. Writing this book was my way of coming into the light and putting the devil on notice that I will no longer let guilt and shame be a part of my life.

That was my introduction to my book.
Pick up a copy to read the full story.

Out of the Snares

I have played with the sexual abuse card, and poverty by concentrating
on CANI. Constant and Never Ending Improvement.
They say that the secret to happiness is always moving
towards a goal and that is how I played the game.

It is wonderful that we’re meeting today in a library because I have always been a reader.
Reading books is how you play to win!

Tony Robbins is now a billionaire because he made himself read 700 books per year and those books taught him everything he knows.
Pat Riley of the Miami Heat said

“If you’re not growing, you are dying”

The second way I have played to win with the cards I have been dealt was to become conscious of my vibrational frequency.
I learned that later in life before I wrote my first book
“Becoming Conscious, my awakening”
I started understanding my vibrations. You see whenever somebody does
something to us, we feel bad and what happens when we feel bad?
We attract more of the same. We always say bad things comes in three’s, that is because you are attracting them to you.
So when you’re in a funk you have to find some way to make
yourself feel better, and one of the ways I do that is to always live in gratitude.
Because regardless of what’s going on in your life, there’s always something that you can
be grateful for. Breath, sight, food in your fridge, etc.
So, find some gratitude and feel that energy release a positive force that reverses all the bad in your life!

Survivors of sexual violence don’t owe anyone our stories. Here’s why I’m telling mine. #MeToo
Click this link to hear a similar story
http://www.latimes.com/opinion/opinion-la/la-oe-warnke-metoo-sexual-violence-20171016-story.html

Now let’s get on with the show!
My first guest is Genese Vertus

Gene Vertus

Show notes:
16:14 In 2009 at the age of 33 Genese became
CEO and founder of Passion Rescue Mission and reopened the Genecoit Vertus School of Excellence in Francois, Haiti providing tuition free education and serving over 225 students.
17:29 Genese How Have you played with the cards you were dealt in Life?
18:01 Winning has to less with the cards you have in your hand and more to do with how you play the game.

You have to play to win.

18:38 How did I play to win? I was born in one of the poorest countries in the Western Hemisphere, which is Haiti.
20:28 The goal is to win no matter what seven piece of dominoes or cards you have in your hand.
21:56 Kenny Rogers sings a song that says

“You have to know when to Hold and when to Fold”

22:27 Three simple things helped me play with my cards.
1. My faith in God
2. Pursuit of an education
3. A strong support system

30:10 I was fortunate enough to come to this great country to get an education and in
2009 I returned back to Haiti and reopened a school that my father built. We started with 189
students at that time currently we have 225 students getting a
tuition-free education in one of the poorest, mountainous, villages in Haiti,
which is Francois Haiti. We provide meals, we provide school supplies
we provide uniforms and we have 12 teachers that are employed.
I have a waiting list of over 300 students wanting to get into that school right now; so it’s not enough
To win at your game, we must give back. Once you get to where you need to be, you need to
reach back and help your people.
31:16 If you need information on making a donation
Please visit www.passionrescuemission.org Dan Willms

34:39 Introduction of our next guest Coach Dan Willms
Dan Willms is a facilitator for the leadership challenge, a writer and an
international speaker. He’s also the creator of the Positive Change Workshop
and facilitates his workshops in Portuguese, English, and Spanish.
Dan has facilitated more than 145 Positive Change Workshops.

36:49 I believe that even though it is hard to be born poor, it’s not about being born poor
or rich. I’m coming to a conclusion it’s not about the money it’s not about where you
were born it’s what you do with all that.

37:25 I remember the first big tragedy I saw in my life. I was 11 years old. it
was my last day in school. I was ironing a shirt and my father hanged himself in
front of his 11 kids. I was the baby and none of us knew what to do.
So we just watched the body for over an hour until the paramedics came.
But I think even more devastating that watching my father hang himself was the feeling I had as a child
that other people were more special than me.
I would look at the other families where there wasn’t alcohol abuse, there was no
Drugs, there was no fighting, and I would think wow, why are they more special
than I am in the eyes of God.

39:03 I grew up feeling inferior, wondering do black people when they are
kids they look at white people and think wow why are they more special than I am?

39:36 Then I got to thinking, do Gay people wonder why Straight people are more special than they are?
39:53 because I was poor, because we did not have a lot of food, because my father was
an alcoholic, my brothers were drug addicts then I would look at my
neighbors and think why are they more special than I am.

40:39 Now I teach happiness. I teach positive psychology and I teach the
Science of Happiness. I have helped thousands of people to change their
Lives. Thousands of couples who come to me, some can’t they can’t even look
at each other. Parents who cannot have a conversation with their kids. Kids who
cannot stand their parents, but somehow they have to live under the same roof,
so they come to me asking for help.

41:10 I learned from my mom that you will not go far in life if you
don’t make peace with your past. It doesn’t matter where you came from,
if you’re Black, White, Gay or Straight, if you’re bisexual, you have to make
peace with your past.

44:33 I was doing missionary work and was a model missionary. I
found out I was also Gay, but since I be couldn’t be Gay and be a missionary, I had to
pick one and I wasn’t quite sure which one. I chose to be Gay and be myself.
I mean for God’s sakes, God is my father he made me just like this.
And I go around thinking I am broken. How many times we think we are sick we think we are
Disgusting, we think we are not good enough for anyone or anybody. That’s how
I felt most of my life. it is horrible when you look in the mirror and you feel very sick.
You think you’re going to burn in hell.

46:14 You are not building for today you are building for tomorrow. You are building with the tools and resources
you’ve got in the past, so if you don’t make peace with your past, it’s not going to work.

Jenny Wang

51:12 Jenny Wang Introduction
51:15 Jenny is passionate about helping people improve
Performance through holistic learning. She is a Professional Certified Coach and a
Senior Learning and Program Manager at Nutranext, which is the healthiest employer in the US.
Jenny is also a Certified Health Coach and co-author of Bringing Mindfulness to Your
Workplace. Jenny and I worked together at Office Depot. She was my mentor at
Toastmasters, then she became my Coachee as she worked on finding her purpose. I’m
Sure she has found her purpose. Let’s give a warm welcome to Ms Jenny Wang

52:22 I have had some good cards. But there are some cards we cannot choose.
We cannot chose our Father we cannot choose our Mother or our relatives.
I was born and raised in China in a very traditional family. I don’t have trauma
in my life, my parents are very lovely and educated; but there’s one thing that
we never agreed on. When I got married I never thought I wanted children.
I don’t know how many of you are natural parents; but I was not one of them.
When I was at 34 years old my father called me from China had a big
argument with me. He wanted to have a grandchild.
So, How did I play to win? I chose to honor my father’s request because family is important to me.
Now eight years later, people ask me what was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life?
And I say “To have a child”
My son has brought me so much joy, so much wonderful
things to my life that I have never ever thought that I would have.

The second card everyone has, but they also cannot chose is
Passion and purpose.

The 3rd card we are dealt is a Health.
The most important thing for everybody is good health. I decided to take
the journey of being a Yoga Instructor and a Health Coach.

59:01 I learned we can become happy by changing how we move our bodies.
Yoga encourages us to think about our health.
No matter how busy you are, no matter how much outside achievement you have,
by the end of the day you have to take time for yourself.

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