As Millennial’s deal with adulting, they ask themselves, What is my purpose? What is the reason for my existence?
Today on the “Transform your Mind with Coach Myrna Podcast”, I interview the Author of “The Millenial’s Playbook to Adulting”, Arika L. Pierce
The first step is to find your passion. This is where you find that
you can be in it all day long and you don’t feel tired and you don’t feel
bored and you’re just illuminated and just joyful and and it’s a great way
to live your life. You know when you live
a passionless life just because you’re making money does not mean that you are living with passion.
Let me share a personal story. My daughter always felt that she was supposed to be a
Psychologist, getting her degree and everything. Along that journey
she read Nelson’s Mandela’s book “A long walk to freedom” and decided that
she needed to become a political advocate and she just switched right
away. She applied and got into American University,
the top political science university with no background in politics.
Today she’s working for a company right next door
to the White House, and doing some great great work at Common Cause.
I didn’t even think about that until right now and that’s what I like about
the Holy Spirit or of my Higher Self
things pop into my head. It is also an example of leaning your ladder up against the wrong
building! My next question is a follow-up to the first and it is do you agree that
we’re all meant to do a certain thing on this earth? And what is your advice
to Millennial’s to find out their purpose? How Can Millennial’s Find Their Purpose?
Let’s say using my daughter story that she didn’t know what
her purpose was. She went to school and maybe felt
psychology is a job that can make her money that’s where a lot of Millennial’s
Park right, so what advice do you give them?
To answer your first question in terms of do I think we’re
all here to do something, yes I definitely believe that we individually
are all here to bring some value or offer something back to the
world. I believe some of us it takes longer than others
but; I do believe we are all here to accomplish something and I think we
probably give different weight to what we accomplish. Just because what you believe it is something small it can be
transformational to somebody else. In terms of what I believe Millennial’s can
do in terms of finding their purpose, I actually think it starts with a very
simple concept and that is honestly taking time to think and to plan and I
think when we sit back and you when you look at your life if you plan it with
the level of detail that you plan for example a vacation you’d be surprised
about you know how much how differently you might view things.
I recommend taking one hour a week to evaluate where you are and where you want to go.
The timeline might be where I want to go this week, it might be where I want to go
in the next year, in the next two years or five years from now. Whatever time
period I feel I need to think about it and plan for at that time for example if you’re thinking
I hate my job, it’s not fulfilling this is
not my purpose. Then you know think about what would make you feel more
purposeful? What are the types of positions or jobs that you would like to
be in? And then what are the steps that you need to take to get there. Do you
need to you know go back to school? Do you need to join a networking group?
My daughter came to me one day and said that she wants to become a politician
and I look at her this sweet innocent person that had no politician skills or
natural talents and I said to her
“How do you get there how do you get from where you are today to where you want to be tomorrow?”
As her coach we planned it Toastmasters and learn how to speak in front of people,
school for political science, volunteer so she can get
some political experience and things like that so yeah and you got to make a
plan and the beautiful thing about it you know is that it might feel
far-fetched but you never know if it’s really your purpose the universe, God
will step in and help you get there. That’s why when my daughter
applied to American University she said she only had a 30% chance of being accepted. She said I’ll apply there’s no hope
that I’m gonna get in and guess what she got in because she’s on purpose
because God helps you if you are on purpose.!
Don’t ever think that anything is too big for God.
Les Brown says reach for the the stars, you might fallback on the moon!
I agree. One of my favorite quotes is
If your dreams don’scare you, they’re not big enough.
You have to become comfortable with being uncomfortable and that’s
really I think when you accept that, it will help you in finding your purpose.
Especially if you’re not currently living what you believe to be your
purpose. I like that one I mean you you talked
about it before you must really live by that and it’s very true you know when my
daughter went to Washington she was incredibly uncomfortable, she was in
a city that she didn’t know anyone, she was going into something that she didn’t
know anything about and it was uncomfortable and that’s only way you
Alright so and this is coming from your book, you’ve got a
chapter in your book about your giving advice and strategies and how
Millennial’s can achieve their goals in the workplace; but I like the word hustle
that you used to describe this. You advise to hustle to get what you want in this world. I think when
you hustle you have to you have to be hungry you have to really want
it. You have to be motivated and so I think to your point earlier, when
it’s something that you truly want and you feel passionate about or you really
wanted to achieve the hustle actually comes fairly easy at least in the
beginning because you know you most likely will accept that challenge and want to go
after it. Where it becomes a challenging I would say is consistently
hustling, always having that thirst, that hunger to push yourself further and
that sometimes can be where we tend to fall off. That’s human
nature, you have to learn to hold yourself accountable and to make sure that you are you’re hitting
your own personal benchmarks and hitting your own personal
goals. And so a good way to keep the hustle mentality I would say is to make
sure that you have measurable things that you want to do and so that way
you’ve got a way to check yourself. I’ll give you an example and
this is a personal example. I want to be in better shape, which i think is a
goal that everyone has, most people have I should say. It’d be easy to say
I want to I want to work out more; but instead I tell myself, I want to go to the gym 170 times this year and that is a very measurable
thing for me because you know in the beginning I started this in January
I was on target, I was hitting it and so then February sort of started to
fall off, in March a little bit more and so in the past month I went and did the math
and I counted how many times I had gone however these days were left of the year
and so that was real data that said okay I got a hustle cause I only have so many
days of the year left. I can quickly
do sort of a check-in to see what I need to do to continue to get there something
like that can be applied to so many areas of your life. So
professionally you know when someone says I want to work in a different
industry I would say okay, why don’t you make a list of ten people that work
in that industry and give yourself a period of time to contact them and to
meet with them. And so again that’s measurable the in that very moment you
might say oh yeah let me reach out to all ten of them and then two weeks, two
months later you realize that you didn’t follow through and you didn’t end up
meeting with them or or you only met with two.
Something like that, so I think the best way to keep the
hustle is to hold yourself accountable and to really have some some specific
objectives that you have to check in, to make sure you’re going to
meet whatever is your at your end goal.
That’s awesome, very powerful analogy. I love the personal one that you did because
everybody knows and that is why they push gym memberships; because people have short term goals
and when those goals are accomplished, they abandon their goals. I
mean this is turning out to be an episode about my daughter but; all of a sudden recently
she has been going to kickboxing, she’s been working out at a
gym, and the first thing I said to her because I know her, what exactly is
your motivation? It turns out she’s going to Spain and she wants to look good in her bathing suit!
She’s hustling because she’s got a short-term goal. What I like about your analogy is that you’ve pushed it out for a year.
And you hold yourself accountable to that hundred and seventy.
You know if you get down to November and you want to be accountable to yourself
because it’s another thing that I you know I coach and I also I hold myself accountable to
because if your mind can’t trust you or your body can’t trust
you or you can’t trust you then it goes downhill from there.Sso if you may have a commitment
to yourself then you got to keep it. That is where coaching comes in because one of the
most powerful reasons to have a coach is to keep you accountable because most
people cannot keep themselves accountable. Me and you
probably can, because we’re coaches that work in that space but; a lot of people
can’t and they would go for five years and make any headway towards their goals.
I’ve coached lots of people that want to lose weight and you know something always
comes up; But as a coach we know there are all excuses.
But when I was talking about hustling I remember people like
jay-z and P-Diddy. Someone else just popped into my mind. I’m getting goosebumps at this one so there’s a powerful one you
know Tiffany Haddish she just won a an Academy Award by Essence Magazine. and she told
her story and she talked about the hustle. She was homeless, she was living
in a car and she told of hustling her manager every day. She would go to her managers office every day
asking what she got for her. Begging her to put me in something put me in
anything! and she hustled she didn’t sit home and wait for the call.
Then you know finally they they put her in something and she was the breakout
star in “Girls Trip” now she’s everywhere she’s got like three movies and a TV show!
One of my favorite I would say just hustlers and it has
nothing to do with even being a fan of his music or art but really it’s Puff
Daddy. I live in Washington DC and Puff gave a speech at Howard University and what
some people may not know is that he really wanted to work in the music industry and he would take the train
or the bus every single day up to New York
and he would wash the car of one of the top music executives Andre Harrell and
so and he would do that, just go back and forth you know I mean it’s a
four-hour train ride back and forth but that’s what he did until he finally got
a job at the record label and so and what’s interesting example yeah yes and
I’m one that I follow him on social media because he’s always trying to motivate
and he’s always hustling me the man has all the money all right he has
that hustle mentality where you know he’s hosting a TV show he’s still making
music he still you know producing people he’s putting his son’s out there I mean
it’s it never stops because it’s who he is. He will always be driven
to continue to take himself to the next level.
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What do you have in your hand? God used the staff Moses had in his hand to help his achieve his purpose.
I use that analogy because when you’re finding
your purpose you mentioned what are your interests and what excites you but
I’m going to add to that what are you good at. What’s your natural ability?
What’s your natural talent? Because that’s what you have in your hand.
Ray Charles was born blind and he just picked up a piano and played. But
but some of us has to do these stepping stones. Let’s you talk about adulting.
In your book, in fact your book is called “the Millennial’s playbook adulting” Can you explain
what you mean by adulting and how that relates to How to Find your Purpose?
Adulting is actually a it’s a millennial term.
Social media usually uses funny hashtags like
I’m doing laundry hashtag #adulting pain pills #adulting. I’m over
#adulting. Adulting is really just the idea of growing up frankly and taking on new
responsibilities and transitioning into an adult. I would say being more
independent and if in terms of how can a dull teen connect to her purpose? I
think that one of the things I you know in my coaching is what did I tell people
and tell the Millennial that I work with is when you are transitioning into an adult
you are now the owner of your life. I actually say you’re the CEO of ME
Incorporated and part of that is determining what you want to do and so it’s no longer what your
parents what you to do or what your teachers or grandparents want you to do.
All of these influencers who have really directed you for the majority of
your life so far this next phase of your life is really about running your own life
like a CEO. A CEO runs her company as she sees fit. and so you know I think often times there
are Millennial’s who are in professions because that’s what their
parents wanted them to do or that’s what was expected of them or that’s what they
said they were going to do and they were embarrassed to change their
minds. Well if you want to change your mind, it is now up to you to do so. That’s
part of being an adult. It’s unlikely that someone is going to come
to you and to say I think that you need to change your
passion or your job. So I would just encourage Millennial’s
especially to think about what they want out of life.
Don’t for others to direct your path, certainly others can help lead
you in the direction that you want to go to, and I am a firm believer of
leveraging a personal board of advisers and your mentors and people
around you to help you and to guide you and to get feedback. But it is
really up to you to do the exercises, to do the work, and to decide where you want
to go next or where you want to take your life professionally.
On the first page of your book you made
the humorous statement and I quote
“Dear Universe I miss the how to be an adult 101 class, send help and my mom and wine”
I thought that was humorous. So my question to you is which adulting class did you
think that you missed and have the most struggle with?
Probably for me it’s the financial class. I
actually spoke to a group of Millennial’s yesterday as part
of a fellowship program and one of the questions they asked was can you tell me about managing my finances?
I admitted to them that managing my finances especially when I was younger
and like 20 was very difficult. I sort of used my debit card like a gift card, just
charge and see how much it is. So and that wasn’t that wasn’t smart
decision making and I think that as I’ve grown up I’ve been forced
to become much more financially literate. I just don’t mean you know okay I
save money now that that’s that’s not being fighting totally financially
literate I mean really understanding you know what’s coming in what’s going out
I’m having that data point and now you know there’s lots of apps that can help
you figure that out as well as understanding what’s the best way to say
it’s my money what are what are you know but ways that I can you know increase
increase my my my salary or my revenue streams besides just my day-to-day
nine-to-five job understanding the stock market understanding you know investments and
things like that especially being an entrepreneur really understanding those
types of things are really important and so I think that I came from a very
traditional family that was you put some money in a saving account you do that
every single week and you will likely not you know that’s the best thing you
won’t go poor that’s how you do it but that but there’s so much more to that
and so that was part of the I would say the adulting class that there I have I
had to say have one that I did not get that I probably you know still learning
but you know came to me much much later in life that I think is very critical
um to proper adult thing yeah that’s actually pretty good you know I helped
my daughter a lot with that but I’m just learning that now in my 50s so I
understand that because you know our parents certainly didn’t sit down and
teach us because they didn’t even know themselves so that was a perfect answer
I love it alright so tell our listeners how they can get in touch her to you if
they want any kind of coaching or to purchase a copy of your book sure you
can go to my website
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