The transformative journey from living an ordinary life to one that makes people turn heads in awe — becoming a, wow woman — is an inner trek that involves self-reflection, self-love, and a breadth of personal development. Based on insights shared by Katia Stern, a life coach, author, and self-proclaimed, wow woman, this process isn't just about external perceptions; it's a profound internal evolution that shapes how a woman sees herself and, subsequently, how the world sees her.
Embracing Personal Audacity: Commit to pursuing your desires and stepping outside conventional boxes after the age of 40 — it's never too late to transform and inspire.
Self-Love as the Foundation: Prioritize self-love and acceptance, understanding these are prerequisites for a significant transformation.
Navigating Femininity and Masculinity: Learn how to balance masculine and feminine energies, especially in relationships, to maintain healthy dynamics and personal satisfaction.
From Now to “Wow”: Decoding the Transformational Process
The conversion from an everyday woman to one that captures attention and admiration often involves charting a path that catapults personal development to the forefront. Katia's body transformation journey was a pivotal starting point where she embraced an inspiring vision — competing in fitness bikini body building competitions. This goal was neither born from dissatisfaction nor merely the desire to look better; it came from an acknowledgment of personal potential and the pursuit of a compelling vision.
This goal-setting, or rather, desire-setting, is a testament to the power of aspiring for meaningful and far-reaching objectives. As Katia asserted, “It's not a nice thing. And I was doing that outside part. I was doing pretty well, but that didn't bring me that satisfaction that I was searching for.”
Sponsored Ad
Are you aware of the revolution that has taken place in fasting that helps weight loss, mental and physical performance, and gut health? It’s called Prolon
Prolon, is a revolutionary, plant-based nutrition program that nourishes the body while making cells believe they’re fasting.
And this all starts with Prolon’s 5-day program: Snacks, soups and beverages all designed to keep your body in a fasting state.
Right now, Prolon is offering Transform your Mind listeners TEN PERCENT off their 5-day nutrition program.
The cornerstone of becoming a, wow woman, as illustrated by Katia, lies in cultivating profound self-love. This isn't merely about pampering oneself with external luxuries — although these can be expressions of self-love — but about the transformative acceptance of one's starting point, forgiving oneself, and undertaking actions that align with self-care and respect. Katia Stern conveyed the nuance of self-love, emphasizing, “Self-love is how you would want your partner, your lover, would want to treat yourself.”
The Consequences of Repressed Femininity
A recurring theme in Katia's discourse was the nuanced struggle women often face with suppressed sensuality and femininity due to societal norms and professional obligations. She shared insights on how these societal pressures compel women to adopt a more, masculine energy, mainly when ascending professional ladders and fulfilling multiple life roles. The challenge, therefore, lies in re-embracing one's femininity, especially in romantic relationships where the interplay of masculine and, feminine energies, is crucial. Katia advised, “Use that, feminine energy, to establish trust in the universe and learn to surrender, to create a space for a masculine man to step in and balance the dynamic.”
Sponsored Ad
This Year take your business to the next level with a Shopify online store. Whether you are Selling a little or a lot Shopify helps you do your thing, however you cha-ching.
Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business.
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at SHOPIFY.COM/transform, ALL LOWERCASE.
Go to SHOPIFY.COM/transform now to grow your business–no matter what stage you’re in.
Becoming a Wow Woman: Finding your Unique quality
A, wow woman, essence is deeply etched in her ambition to fuel dreams and desires that align with her true self — not dictated by external expectations or comparisons. It's an invitation to live boldly and authentically. Katia sternly rejects generic standards of success and ‘wowness', advocating instead for a personalized approach, “my wow is not your wow.”
Language plays a fundamental role in shaping our mindset towards achieving our ambitions. Katia’s recommendation to replace the word “goal” — which carries a certain masculine weight — with “desire” is a strategic reframe that can energize and feminize the pursuit of our aims. This shift in vocabulary can have a profound effect on our mental approach, influencing our perseverance and excitement towards achieving these desires.
Katia Stern’s narrative shows us that the wow is not just a badge of external marvel; it’s an inside out revolution of self-perception, confidence, and the art of balancing our power. By cultivating self-love that manifests as a disciplined commitment to our desires, embracing our inherent femininity, and trusting in the power of personal evolution without the bounds of age, every woman has the capacity to evoke her own brand of wow. Through this, she becomes an inspiration not just for herself, but to others who are privileged to witness her transformation.
Through personal audacity, self-love as the foundation, and navigating femininity and masculinity, Katia Stern implores women worldwide to embark on their own journeys of remarkable transformation. It's a clarion call to stop waiting on the sidelines, embrace the complex tapestry of emotions and experiences, and step into the spotlight of your own life's stage where wow is not just an exclamation, but your state of being.
In an age where, beauty standards, and the pressure to conform are omnipresent, the quest for, self love, and authenticity remains a journey that many grapple with. The conversation between life coach Myrna Young and Isabelle Miller, a model, content creator, and, social media influencer, sheds light on the nuances of building a robust, social media presence, while nurturing, self love. In this podcast we delve into the heart of these themes, exploring the interplay between personal growth and, digital influence.
Self-Love Beyond Beauty Standards: Embracing one's uniqueness and rejecting society's narrow definitions of beauty is key to personal fulfillment.
Growing Social Media Influence Authentically: Consistent, high-quality content, collaboration, and being true to one's brand are crucial for gaining followers.
Dealing with Negativity: Maintaining self-esteem in the face of criticism involves a mix of ignoring negativity, engaging constructively, or blocking unhelpful feedback.
Embracing Self Love Beyond Social Beauty standards
In the world of fashion and beauty, adhering to traditional standards often prescribes a narrow path to success. But as Isabelle Miller poignantly highlights, finding prosperity as a model while standing only five feet one inch tall challenges the preconceived notions of the industry's, beauty standards. Echoing this sentiment, Miller states, “I am who I am and I love it. I refuse to accept rotten fruits in my basket.” Her journey as one of the, social media girls, emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and the rejection of societal pressures that seek to dictate one's self-worth by their, beauty standards.
Through Miller's narrative, we uncover the reflection of, self love, as an act of resistance—a belief that true beauty isn't a metric but an essence that defies standardization. This perspective compels us to rethink how we perceive and value ourselves in a world that often favors uniformity over individuality.
Sponsored Ad
Factor meals
As we head into the New Year, it is great to take a break from all the shopping and preparing meals. Let Factor’s ready-to-eat meal delivery take the stress out of meal planning and cooking fatigue. Get chef-crafted, dietitian-approved meals delivered right to your door. Ready in 2 mins.
Cultivating a Social Media Following with Integrity
Social media platforms, have become arenas where influence is currency, and as Isabel Miller's experience demonstrates, growing an audience to over a million followers is no mean feat. Miller shares, “Quality over quantity… consistency is super important.” She stresses the significance of creating content that resonates personally, sparking authentic connections with her audience.
Her success story is characterized by persistence, collaboration, and an unyielding commitment to, personal branding. As an aspiring, social media influencer, she navigates the digital space, Miller's insights serve as a blueprint for building a sustainable and impactful online presence without succumbing to the temptation of fitting into a pre-defined mold. The takeaway is clear: carve your niche, be persistent, and your unique voice will find its audience.
Sponsored Ad
KiaraAngelica studios presents First Lady's the Genesis. Come and witness the genesis of an era. Three pastor’s wives are consumed with the problems they're each facing within their individual marriages and churches. It isn't until one of them reaches her breaking point that these first ladies who are strangers to each other unite to lift their sister in Christ up.
Meet us at the Sewell Cultural Center located in Marietta Ga, on March 1st for an evening show or March 2nd for either a matinee or evening show. God will be glorified in this production & strong themes will be covered, please visit
You can also visit https:// kastudios.co to follow us on social media for all updates regarding this production.
We’ll save you a seat at the show!
First Ladies of Genesis
Beauty standards: Managing Negativity and Criticism in the Public Eye
An inevitable aspect of heightened visibility is exposure to public scrutiny and unwarranted negativity. Isabelle's handling of negative feedback because of social media, beauty standards, offers concrete strategies for anyone in the public eye—ignore, engage, or block. That is part of her, self love. She advises against internalizing external judgments, urging instead to consider the source and intent of the feedback. “It's up to us to give them chances or not give them those chances,” she asserts, advocating for self-preservation over appeasement.
Miller's personal policy of eliminating “rotten fruits” from her life underscores a profound understanding that self-respect must prevail above all else, especially when navigating the treacherous waters of, social media, engagement. These strategies can not only protect one's mental health but also safeguard the authenticity of one's, personal brand, and, brand image.
Sponsored Ad
This New Year take your business to the next level with a Shopify online store. Whether you are Selling a little or a lot Shopify helps you do your thing, however you cha-ching.
Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business.
Go to SHOPIFY.COM/transform now to grow your business–no matter what stage you’re in.
Leveraging Authenticity and Self-Respect
Isabelle Miller's conversation with Myrna Young offers a glimpse into the intertwined nature of, self love, personal branding, and confronting negativity in a social media-driven world. Her experience echoes a truth pertinent to anyone looking to leave their mark: sustenance of, self love, and integrity forms the cornerstone of enduring influence.
By embracing our individuality, persistently sharing content that aligns with our true selves, and managing criticism with grace, we open ourselves to genuine connections and personal growth. As we look ahead, let these insights nurture our relationship with ourselves and with our audience, reminding us that the journey to self-acceptance is as transformative as it is liberating.
Additional Resources
Chapters
Timestamp
Summary
0:00:02
Introduction to the episode and guest, Isabel Miller
0:01:52
Tips for gaining a large following on social media
0:05:20
Overcoming challenges and rejection in the modeling industry
0:09:40
Balancing professional and self-taken photos on social media
0:11:16
Discussing the process and challenges of creating content for YouTube
0:14:20
The impact of big YouTubers on aspiring creators
0:15:14
Importance of supporting small and casual creators
0:16:10
Journey towards self-love and acceptance
0:16:24
Dealing with negative comments about appearance
0:17:51
Ruthlessly eliminating negativity from life
0:19:00
Holding people accountable for their actions
0:19:45
Importance of self-confidence and not tolerating negativity
0:22:20
Negative comments even for beautiful individuals
0:23:31
Defining self-love and its significance
0:23:47
Loving oneself beyond negative comments
0:24:18
The false sense of self-righteousness in online criticism
0:25:06
Envy and projecting inadequacies onto public figures
0:26:51
Handling negative comments on social media
0:27:33
Discerning valid criticism from baseless feedback
0:28:12
Don't believe negative comments, respond or ignore
0:29:30
Overcoming low self-esteem and negative thoughts
0:31:26
Breaking mental boundaries and limited mindsets
0:35:01
Enjoying self-expression and connecting with others
Exploring the link between consciousness and yoga and how to, transform your life with yoga. In this post, Kim Tang, a yoga master, shares her personal journey of discovering yoga and how it helped her forgive and, release past traumas. She explains that yoga is not just about physical postures, but also about cultivating, self-control, determination, patience, faith, and concentration.
Kim also discusses the role of chakras in our energy system and how they can provide messages about our consciousness. She emphasizes the importance of creating a field of trust and non-judgment to facilitate transformation in others. Kim's work includes teaching, how to transform your life with yoga, intuitive spiritual counsel, leading breathwork sessions, and facilitating, alchemy meditation.
Yoga is a journey through the self to the self and a spiritual practice. You can, transform your life with yoga, transform our minds, bodies, and relationships.
Chakras are energy centers in the body that hold different qualities of being and can provide messages about our consciousness.
Creating a field of trust and non-judgment is essential for facilitating transformation in others.
Alchemy is the process of transmuting energy and perceiving situations from a higher perspective to facilitate healing.
Bio and introduction to Yoga
When Kim Tang first discovered yoga, a fire was lit within her that has inspired her to inspire others, empowered her to empower others in their ability to expand and transform their minds, their bodies, their relationships with themselves, and the consciousness with which they conduct not only their practice, but their lives.
As an international reputed master, yoga teacher, and head coach of international yoga schools, means yoga, sports Federation, public speaker, intuitive, spiritual counselor, and breath work facilitator. Kim teaches, how to transform your life with yoga, leads trainings and seminars, teacher trainings, and holds private sessions, spiritual consults, retreats, and worldwide e learning online courses. She is here to equip you, empower you, and to support you in your expansion.
Myrna: Now, one of the other things that you mentioned is that in your bio is that our body sends us messages through yoga. So how do we decode these messages? We must in order to, transform your life with yoga.
Kim: We are at least what I'm going to call three layers of being. So if we are vibrational beings in a vibrational plane, what presents as our density is a compilation of thought identification on the causal plane. I know it's a lot to unpack, but let's just say that who you are, in truth is someone who, I'm going to say a spirit who has a precognitive agreement, something you've chosen to learn through, and that's overlaid with limiting beliefs and agreements made in fear.
Sponsored Ad
As we welcome the fall, A new season calls for new meals, and HelloFresh has a fresh, fall lineup of delicious dinners to choose from. Take your pick from 40 weekly recipes that suit your lifestyle, from Veggie to Family Friendly to Fit & Wholesome and my favorite meat and veggies.
If you are ready to save some time and money “Go to HelloFresh.com/50transform and use code 50transform for 50% off plus 15% off the next 2 months!”
HelloFresh t-rex enchiladas
The body send us messages through emotions
And so we have these thoughts and beliefs, and they exist on a plane or a field called the causal field. And then you have another body or field called the astral field. And those are your, feelings and emotions. And your, feelings and emotions, are always in response to your thoughts and beliefs. And the body that houses your being and presents as your form is the reconciliation of the two. So any presentation of disease, injury, illness, diagnosis, and I am going to say even habitual tone and accidents can be interpreted as a message as to where your spiritual work lies in your life.
It's a little bit like a Louise Hay concept of you can heal your life, except a little like leveled up a little, a little more decipherable. So something that I could speak into, I think I already kind of did make a quick mention. And that is, for example, your hips. Structurally, your hips are your center of gravity and your seat of mobility. So you have this torso and it's suspended upon this pelvis. And the legs just animate the torso and the pelvis and hips represent spiritually your ability to move forward with major decisions in your life.
Right side with respect to masculine and left side with respect to feminine. And so there are messages that are decipherable. When you have problems with your hips, you're looking at like, where's the problem in my life with my ability to move forward? Knees typically determine which direction to go, and ankles are frequently representing, like, where are you hesitant? Where are you not allowing some claim you've made? Where do you feel tripped up, stuck and stopped?
Shoulders represent your relationship with responsibility and your ability to trust the universe to take care of your needs. So, for example, do you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, or can you delegate? Can you trust yourself to carry your own load? There are a lot of messages that are decipherable. And I've been working so in this way that yoga's consciousness, when I teach, I teach what I call on every level of being. Otherwise, it's just gymnastics. Right. There's similarities in the postures.
So what I'm talking about is addressing this on the level of the mind, the causal field, the, feelings and emotions, the astral field, and the body, which is the reconciliation. So what happens most commonly is people have great imbalances in the body. Right sided, left sided, whatever it is. And yeah, I've become kind of masterful at the individual. I'm going to call it that very much of like a guru relationship with writing a specific prescription based on a specific body, with its specific presentation and all of those things.
Myrna: That's beautiful, right? And I've heard that I've had some guests on the show tell me that. I think I was talking about a marathon runner. Oh, no. I was talking the other day about the basketball game where Tatum hurt his ankle. And who I was speaking to is saying, if it's the right side, if the right ankle, then it means something. And I've heard people tell me that if I have pain in my tissues and my back, then it means something. So I understand what you're saying about our body sends us messages through the part of the body that are hurting or the messages that we're hurting.
So that's great. Now, I also want to circle back to something you said when you were telling us what happened, how you were able to forgive your mom. And that is like when you did the back bend and you opened up your, heart chakra. I know you mentioned the heart, right? Your, solar plexus chakra, and you use the breathwork that allowed you to free all the unforgiveness that you had for your mom. Now, let's talk about the chakras for a minute. First of all, what is a chakra? And I also see that you also do something that's called a chakra diagnosis.
Chakras are, energy centers, in the body and these, energy centers, hold different I'm going to call it qualities of being. And I'm not just going to say human being because the higher chakras represent our connection to ourselves as divine beings. So the chakras are, energy centers, that possess or characterize our qualities of being and they are decipherable and discernible in the ways that we live our lives through, again, habits, behaviors, relationships. You can really tell where someone is open and free flowing and fully expressed and where someone is maybe sometimes they call it blocked, sometimes they call it underactive or overactive, but it's actually decipherable.
So that's the first thing. And if I were to say how was it that the breath played the key to opening the or turned the key to opening the chakras in that moment of forgiveness, the magic ingredient was the willingness and the readiness. I was ready and willing to let go. I understood that I wanted to, that I needed to, that I was intending to, I just didn't know how. And then I found it magically in a backbend with some deep breaths and it was able to release, frankly, because I let it.
And that actually becomes another important talking point that we might be able to get to. Oh, as a matter of fact it's now in the third question would be another good way to bring it in. I'm going to tell you that how do I do that for other people? I don't want to say it's funny, but now when people say to me, what do you do? That question, what do you do? I can't just say like, I'm a yoga teacher or all the other things I do. I facilitate alchemy meditation, alchemy of breath quantum healing, hypnosis technique, collaborative with yoga, sport, world global certification and teaching how to, transform your life with yoga.
Myrna: So tell us about your work as a master yogurt teacher. What do you help your clients with? How do you help people, transform your life with yoga. Do you have course or anything that you do?
Kim: There are many things I do. I think I want to do some myth busting real quick. And that is that if people were to look at my website and look at my postures, they would immediately go, oh no, I'm not advanced enough. And that could be farther from the truth. Kind of the master teacher can take kind of like everyone the most scared, broken, stiff, calcified maybe with prosthetics 70 year old who's never done yoga before. I teach, yoga for beginners.
And then the 20 year old natural flexible bindi girl that wants to be a champion of the Asana Championships and have that broad range to be able to speak to everyone from the extremes. And I'm going to say and on every level of being. So first and foremost, I serve everyone, I teach, yoga for beginners. I serve in many different types of yoga. So I think the answer to your question is this a Venn diagram. Let me describe that for the listeners. Let's say, for example, that you have two circles and they're side by side and they're the same size and they come together so closely that they start to overlap and form an almond shape. Overlap in between.
One side of that circle is all things yoga. One side of that circle is all things spirit. And not everyone who practices yoga knows that they're on a spiritual path and not everyone on a spiritual path actually does yoga. But there's this vast overlap where people are starting to understand that yoga is in fact the journey through the self to the self. That's how we, transform our life with yoga. It is the spiritual work, the spiritual reorganization of the five modifications of the mind, as well as just, self love, self acceptance, so that you have more love for humanity, more acceptance of humanity, and so on and so on.
So what I do in the way of yoga, if it's learning postures, I have an entire massive video platform on my website. I also do private sessions and those are for anything and everything. It's listed on my website. I also have three day in person events at our event center in Yucca Valley, which is the Joshua Tree area, the high desert of Southern California. So we have a private event center here for this healing arts and spiritual sciences. And I frequently have three day in person events.
And finally, I am a part of a global collaboration called Yoga Sport World. It's a teacher certification course that has satellites in Prague, Australia, Mexico City and Berkeley. And I'm a collaborator with some of the senior, most international teachers in the world. On the spirit side of that Venn diagram, I do intuitive spiritual counsel. I do, alchemy meditation, alchemy of breath, breath work, facilitation, quantum healing, hypnosis therapy. I lead an outsource spiritual study group and I do the podcast. And frankly, Myrna I consider these podcasts what I'm going to call Satsong.
And what that means is these are high level conversations with a high level agreement of a high level conversation. So I really resonate with the platforms that I accept the invitations. And so thank you for being that. Yeah. And all roads lead to the website. Kimtangyoga.com all right, that's easy.
Conclusion
Know, one of the people that I follow is two people, I should say SadhGuru and Deepak Chopra. And they all keep saying that yoga is not all about poses and stretches like the Western people call yoga. But yoga is a mind body consciousness connection, and it's our higher self. That's why we, transform our life with yoga. So that's basically what Kim was saying, that yoga leads you into consciousness and however you come into yoga, that's the same way I think that's what you said. That's the same way that you lead your life. So it's a consciousness that leads your life.
And then we talked about how the chakras are our energy system, and they send us messages regarding consciousness. This was a deep conversation. Then we end up talking about alchemy and, transmuting energy. Yeah. So each one of those little touches we could spend an entire hour talking on, right, kim because they're all so deep. So you guys are going to need more. So that's why you got to follow her and also go on our website so that you can get more. We just basically touched on it.
Thank you guys for tuning in to The Transforming Mind to Transform your life radio podcast and television show. If you're listening to this on itunes, would love for you to rate and review. If you're watching on YouTube, I would love for you to subscribe, go over and support Kim on her work, know how to elevate your consciousness.
In this post, Brandi Mechele debunks 4 commonly-held beliefs about fulfillment and success. Brandi shares that if we can loosen up our grip on these beliefs, we can begin to experience more fulfillment and success in our lives.
Brandi is an intuitive and empowerment coach who spends her time guiding others and facilitating energy healing focusing on building the subconscious capacity. She has extensive experience working with high achieving female entrepreneurs, helping them align with financial success while staying through to their values and purpose. Her clients might initially come to her to scale their business and make more money, but they leave with a deeper sense of fulfillment within their lives on a holistic level.
Myrna: Can you share your backstory, what led you to begin this work? When did you notice a lack of fulfillment in your own life?
Brandi: I was raised as many people are to be very goal oriented. My parents were amazing in helping me to chart my course and set lots of goals, and I was very fortunate to be someone who excelled at many things; so, I had an impactful career in the corporate world. I escalated to being a VP covering the United States and Canada. I was a national caliber athlete in college and tried out for the Olympics and so I realized that I had checked all these boxes. I live in an amazing city, in a home of my dreams with a family. I had always had this idea that if you checked all the boxes, achieved all your goals that happiness would be kind of the outcome and unfortunately that's just not true.
I think many people come to realize that they've had the success that they've dreamed of and not been able to align any of with this inner fulfillment and inner purpose, and so I took a step back and said you know what's missing. I concluded that happiness needs to be its own goal, it needs to be its own purpose in your life, and that when you focus on happiness as a goal versus an outcome, that's really when you align with your purpose and find and find true fulfillment.
That's when I took a pivot in my life and got to the place where I am here today with you.
Myrna: I've heard this story so many times, in fact my very first coaching client when I became a coach was someone with a similar story to yours. She wasn't looking for happiness she was looking for this inner fulfillment and she quit her job and became a coach because most people get more fulfillment when they serve.
I want to circle back to when you said that happiness shouldn't be an outcome of a goal that happiness should your only goal. I can't leave that alone so how do we how does someone listening set the course to have happiness be their goal?
Brandi: I believe fundamentally that when you have high Achievers that it's really easy to make happiness a goal because they're used to aligning to goals and really knocking it out of the park. So through my own work with myself which took place over many years prior to becoming a coach, developed a four-step process that I call B.A.S.E and I think it's foundational to everyone's life.
B – is about beliefs. What beliefs do you have? Especially the ones that are limiting in nature and how have you gotten to that place as it pertains to happiness. The reason I use happiness versus fulfillment is because I think that you have to be happy to be fulfilled. If you're not happy, if you're fulfilled you'll always be happy and if you're unhappy you'll never be fulfilled.
So happiness is oftentimes easier for people to align to than fulfillment because fulfillment feels so big like what is my purpose, what am I meant to do. But if we think of life as these moments and every single moment we're seeking happiness and ultimately we'll live this really full life that has a sense of purpose, has the service that you mentioned.
So the B really is about like what are those beliefs that are precluding that from happening.
Are in alignment for happiness
A – is alignment, vibrational alignment. What does happiness look like to you like oftentimes you ask people that question and they just don't know, they're like I don't know what makes me happy. They might think you know if I get married I'll be happy, if I have a big house I'll be happy, it's usually types of goals.
What does it take for you to be aligned? So we spend some time around that and then self-awareness really because ultimately we are co-creating our reality in every single moment. I think oftentimes we talk about manifestation as this idea of like I'll manifest a husband, a house, weight loss. I'll manifest all of these things, but when you take a step back from that and realize that your entire life is a manifestation not just the good things and then you really take back your own power.
S – Self- awareness because we create situations that pulls us out of homeostasis. We return to that same place over and over again and so that's really what the self-awareness allows us to do, because once we create awareness we can move out of searching to really having kind of this path to our our destiny.
E – is about, emotional regulation, and that really is the biggest of them all, any moment of unhappiness is really correlated to this origin story that we have. Emotional regulation, is a term generally used to describe a person's ability to effectively manage and respond to an emotional experience. There are times in our lives when we were probably really little where we were given these ideas about who we were. Our identity and how we showed up in the world and oftentimes we're looping around those situations. It can be Big T trauma it can be Little T trauma, but the goal is really to keep the memory of our experiences of our childhood.
So I believe that B.A.S.E is foundational to our lives and once we are able to harness kind of those four pillars we're really going to Skyrocket from there and live a life that's a good path
Myrna: I love it but as I'm listening to you I remember I've done lots of episodes on happiness including the happiness formula. Everybody's end goal in life is to be happy and you're right it's a little different from fulfillment.
Fulfillment vs happiness
Brandi: I was happy, I had the husband of my dreams, I had this beautiful child, I'd won many many awards in my corporate career, I always ran sales teams and I never finished below the top 15. So I had this body of work that was everything I ever dreamed of, I was a little girl from Detroit so I didn't have this idea that my life could be so big and so vast.
I sat there in my happiness and I said but there's still something missing.
Myrna: That happens to so many successful people. You said in your bio that people come looking for money because they believe it will bring them happiness but find fulfillment instead.
Brandi: Success doesn't equal happiness.
Myrna: I'm reading a book now by Eckhart Tolle called The Power of Now and Then in there he talks about goals. Goals in clock time and psychological goals. Clock goals is just saying by the time I'm 30 I'm going to be married. That means that your happiness or fulfillment is tied to this goal. A, psychological goal, is always moving. The target is always moving so that's that's one way to put it, but you hit the nail right on the head. Happiness is fleeting.
Beliefs and self worth
Myrna: How do you teach your clients to find this happiness end goal?
Brandi: B.A.S.E is the foundational practice around beliefs. Two of the beliefs you have to have is that you are worthy of having the life that you're seeking, and so say to people all the time that if you show me your life, I'll show you what you think you're worthy of having. So self-worth is like really pretty straightforward.
Myrna: So let's circle back to a couple of things, you're correct self-worth and self-love they're two big things that we package them together here for Simplicity; but self-worth and self-love is what the what has been communicated to them and it's usually in childhood or early adulthood. Somebody looked at you and and called you ugly and you carry around this beliefs that you are ugly all your life.
Those are great practices to build your happiness capacity as well as you know building your your self-worth and your self-love so so that's awesome all right so let's focus a little bit now on um some of the, limiting beliefs, that, black women, have that stops them from feeling fulfilled?
Brandi: Specifically in communities where black or brown communities you'll find that you have three generations that are in the same Financial circumstances. Nobody breaks out and I believe one of the reasons to show us about mindset is because in order for you to break out you have to have a different mindset, you have to have a different set of beliefs.
Having the right mindset for success
You have to have the mindset of I want to be successful. It's all about mindset and when you get the mindset right then you start challenging the beliefs. You're challenging beliefs that says women can never do this.
Myrna: I was born poor and I know what a, poverty mindset, is. If you have a, poverty mindset, you really can never be wealthy because even if you have the money you'll still be rich with a, poverty mindset. My whole work, my whole philosophy is about changing your mindset because once you change your mindset, you can have your dreams become a reality. The Bible teaches do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Conclusion
Tell us about your B.A.S.E coaching program and your framework. How can listeners get in touch with you talk about your website your social media handles.
Brandi: I appreciate that Myrna, I publish a free journal on the first and 15th every month and you can find that on my website www.brandimechele.com I am just on the precipice of launching a group coaching program and you can also go to my website and sign up there to be informed about that group coaching. If you were interested in working with me one-on-one or with the membership coaching and then if you were interested in working with me one-on-one or in the group you can also find that on my website so and all my handles are @Brandi Mechele on Instagram as well as on Facebook so I'd love to connect with your listeners and hear from them.
Please sign up for Brandi's 4-week program & her container program here:”
What is love? Love doesn't require us to build a deep connection. We fall in love with babies all the time. We don't need a deep connection with them. They don't even have to reciprocate. I think we have to let go of the old idea that I have to be somebody or do something in order to realize this love that's already here.
The truth is, we all want love. Everything we do is in pursuit of it. But as we count likes on social media and measure our worth by the numbers in our bank accounts, we are programmed to see love as something to earn or win. That programming obscures the simple truth behind what we are: beautiful, infinite, eternal sources of love.
For Humble the Poet, the concept of love has been a decade-long curiosity. What began as reciting spoken-word poetry in coffee shops to impress girls, evolved into a creative adventure that has spanned the last 10 years, crossing genres, mediums, and oceans. In How To Be Love(d), the former elementary school teacher turned rapper, spoken-word artist, poet, and international bestselling author teaches his fans that instead of seeking to be loved by the world, we must be love.
Sponsored Ad
This podcast is sponsored by Journy: Plan Life & Self care App. Journy is a personal growth organizer/planner that lets you save goals, personalized notes on categories of learning and improvement, easily watch educational content across a spectrum of categories to bolster your knowledge on a deeper level.
There are also routines in the app to help with planning and organizing.
Journy was developed by a US military veteran who wanted to help people struggling with PTSD regain a sense of control over their lives, but it can be used by anyone for personal growth, self-care and mental health. The App helps everyone maintain a sense of control, through organization, personal development, and self-care.
Download Journy: Plan Life & Self-Care App on Apple or Google Play Store or visit www.journyapps.com
A portion of your monthly or annual subscription will be donated to refugees in need as well as providing scholarships to send kids and teens to Space Camp.
Journy: Plan Life & Self care App
What is love? what are we doing wrong
Myrna: Wat are most of us doing wrong when it comes to love?
Humble: I think we believe that we have to, find love. And then we have to qualify for, love. And none of that's the case. I think we need to stop telling people you're worthy of love, and you're enough for love. Love is constant, it's always there. And what we actually need to do is just clear away the clutter to realize we don't have to do anything magical or specific to, earn love, and have, love, find us. It's the breeze, we just have to open up our sails to catch up.
Myrna: I love that. So, we've got different kinds of love. So, we've got God’s love, which is always everlasting. Then we've got, parental love, which is always everlasting. But, romantic love, where you know a man meets girl or Girl Meets Boy kind of thing. We feel that we have to earn, romantic love, love is it's an energy, right? It's a spirit. So, is that why you're saying we don't need to earn, love?
Humble: Yeah, I wouldn't even differentiate. I think instead of saying there's, there's, God’s love, there's parental love, there's, romantic love. I would say there's, pathways of love. So, the permanence of the pathway between us and the Almighty. And permanence is the, pathway of love, between us and our parents. Now when we create new relationships, we're building a pathway and that's why those pathways are less shaky. So, if I meet someone for the first time, we're beginning to create a path for love the, energy of love, to flow between us, right? It's not the love that is temporary. It's the path that's temporary.
This episode is sponsored by Living the Tao: Spiritual Podcast
Do you want to embrace the wonder of the Tao? Journey inward to journey outward? As he has done for decades, Taoist Master Mikel Steenrod talks about the path of spiritual freedom and down-to-Earth, everyday living well in this podcast series.
Most podcasts are from people that are fans of Taoism, and appreciate the Taoist classic, Tao Te Ching, which is one small part of Taoism. This podcast is from a Taoist Master that has been talking about the daily practice and exciting ideas of Taoism for over twenty years, and is just now taking advantage of podcast technology.
Hear ideas about nature of the world, and of the human condition that can radically transform your daily life into a rewarding experience.
Living the Tao: Spiritual Podcast is available for free on Audible, Spotify or Apple or by visiting thetaoismforthemodernworld.com and clicking podcast. Listen now!
So, what is love, it depends on your, pathway to love. The, pathway of love, between us and our parents or us in the Almighty. These pathways have been established, we have to do work to maintain them and clear the clutter from them, obviously, but we don't have to do as much work than for example that we have a romantic partner. We have somebody we work with, we have an activity, these we have to do a lot more work to established a clear pathway. And there's a lot more day to day maintenance that's required for that.
We look at the previous pathways that we have, and we're like, those are so easy. So, making these new pathways with this person who I want to be my husband or wife should be just as easy. The day to day maintenance is not sexy. It’s like brushing your teeth. But unromantic work is required to keep, Love, maintained.
Brushing your teeth isn't a trip to Paris and it's the same thing with creating, pathways of love, between us and other people. It can't be big gestures; it's got to be the small things. It's got to be the uneventful things. It's got to be the uncomfortable conversations. It's got to be all of that. So, I don't differentiate between, love. I differentiate the pathways and how we build them. That’s the, love story.
Myrna: Please explain what you're talking about a pathway because I'm like here and I'm thinking like a highway.
Proper tax preparation is pivotal in helping you make the most of your future.
For over 15 years, Patty’s Notary and Tax has been offering tax services to small businesses and individuals. Our expertise lies in helping clients prepare for various taxes, such as:
Individual tax returns
Estate & Trust Tax that helps heirs significantly minimize the expenses relating to obtaining their inheritance. And Sales Tax returns because All businesses have sales tax obligations to state and local tax authorities. Our professionals can help clients understand the sales tax collection process.
Humble: How to love, is like a highway or a river because the highway moves quickly. Things can move quickly on the highway so, let's say that you know the highway of the, pathway to love, would be the cars and you know if you have a beautiful well paved highway with a lot of wide lanes and it's built super strong, a lot of, love, can flow through it. Now if you have one that's not been maintained and has a lot of potholes and it's crumbling, and then random pieces of garbage in the middle of the road, then everything's gonna move slow or be obstructed.
So, the work that we have to do is not only to build the pathway, but to clear the pathway regularly. So, what would what would those potholes be? What would the damage be? That's going to be our insecurities, that's going to be our need to be liked, or people pleasing. That's going to be our egocentric behavior. That's going to be our self-esteem or self-respect. That's going to be us being unwilling to be vulnerable. Think about it. When you're not vulnerable. You're putting up a wall. Now imagine putting that wall on a highway hoping to be able to get rid of a wall. You have to clear the wall. Right? And it's not an overnight thing it's going to take time to do but we have to measure progress.
You don't have to do anything to receive love
You don’t have to be perfect and worthy of love to get qualified for love and if you have love for someone, they have to reciprocate it and it's like no we are a source of love. The work that we're doing to create and keep the highways clean, so we can love can flow to you. Some of us are creating and maintaining those highways, it's easier for some people in our lives and others. No, that doesn't mean it's impossible. It just means it's easier for others, you know, and it doesn't require the things that we think it doesn't require history. It doesn't require being perfect.
Myrna: I love it. I think that is the beautiful analogy. So, we've got this highway, right and we want to get somewhere. We want to get married. We want to be loved, so I've got this highway, but I want to get to this new love partner. But you're right, I've got all these potholes and I've got all these walls and I got all this garbage. You mentioned what some of these things are insecurities like self-esteem. You know, maybe baggage from somebody that's hurt us. So, I'm on this highway that's got all this stuff, but I'm not going anywhere because of all this clutter. So, in your book, do you tell people how to clear the, clutter.
Humble: Absolutely, the first thing I do is say you have to be aware of it. I'm gonna go as far as saying needing to get married is, clutter. So, what I'm saying is understanding what the, clutter, is super important and the, clutter, is not stopping you on a journey. The, clutter, is stopping love, from flowing in between you and the other person. So, our needs to have these external things outside of us is always going to be the first issue and then recognize as I said first thing is recognizing, clutter.
The second thing is okay, that it exists. Okay, there's nothing wrong with any of us for having, clutter. There's nothing wrong with any of us. We're having imperfections that nothing wrong with any of us are having insecurities, that nothing wrong with any of us from wanting to be liked and accepted by others. All of these things are, clutter, but there's nothing wrong with us. Love is to accept that you have, clutter. So, we need to accept ourselves as we are. And now we need to focus on progress over perfection. If somebody was perfect, but not be able to be vulnerable and if they can be vulnerable, then you cannot connect with them.
Let's abandon this idea that everything needs to be perfect. Let's make baby steps every single day in the right direction and celebrate those baby steps. And from that standpoint, where is the love, isn't finding a partner or, true love, it’s about being honest and saying I'll be good either way. I'll be good if I have a partner or if I am single. With a partner, I can build a, pathway of love, with them. And then both of us have two independent people pillars, not my better half, not you complete me, but instead, I am a pillar. They are a pillar. And now that we are two pillars, we can hold up more together something bigger than ourselves, whether that's a family or an empire or generational increase.
Now we work together for a purpose bigger than ourselves, but also saying I am a, source of love, and I don't require anything other than that. I'm not encouraging isolation. We are social creatures. Our human design is to be around people. But at the end of the day, what we're creating is, pathways of love, to be created between us and anybody. The thing is the isolation is our ego thing that we're separate from others. When we really tap deep into that, what we start to realize and I don't and for me personally based on you know where my family comes from in the world.
We don't differentiate God from love, this is the same energy. Because when you genuinely love somebody that's when you begin to melt into them. That is, how to love, the type of relationship that is possible with everyone and everything. I think that the ultimate beauty is when you can actually honestly say I would be okay single.
I don't require something outside of me to make me feel better or complete. They said we have a 56% divorce rate. We need to focus on nutrition instead of what's delicious. And I think a lot of the reasons we chase these types of relationships because they're delicious or not nutritious. How to love yourself, we need to establish healthier relationships with ourselves. That will also allow for healthy relationships with other people.
Myrna: Oh, yeah, self-love. We must have, self-love. We must be vulnerable. I know being a female, I'm not understanding how the male energy works, but female we have to be able to receive, we have to be able to make yourself vulnerable and be able to receive. You said that being aware of our imperfections and the potholes is the first step. You're saying that we don't need to get married to be complete, or to have a better but we don't want to be in isolation and the Bible says Two are better than one. So, if we are, looking for love, how do we find it? This love that we want to attract? Where is the love?
Humble: I'm not here to say it's better to be married versus single or what have you. The numbers are 56% divorce rate, so you can rush to get married and get in the wrong relationship and then you can end up being alone anyways. If a plane had a 56% chance of crashing, people aren't going to get on to it. So, I think learning, how to love yourself, will set the tone for all the other relationships that you have. Okay?
That means you have to be, vulnerable, with yourself.
That means you have to accept your imperfections.
That means you have to go easy on yourself.
That means you have to date yourself.
That means you have to journal and get to know your deeper, darker side.
That means you have to pray.
Prayer is Important, prayer helps with self-awareness. Journaling helps with self-awareness. Dancing by yourself in your room, gets you more aware of how your body moves and feels and flows. That's a level of intimacy with yourself. That's important. There's something called self-havening. When you hug yourself that is important.
We can hug ourselves, this level of intimacy with what we do for other people with intimacy with them and vulnerability. We can do that with ourselves. And what that allows us to do is set the tone of what we enjoy, what we don't enjoy, what our boundaries are. And this is really important especially if you have a female audience, but we have to realize that the woman's greatest power in a relationship is her, boundaries.
Women lose their value when the reduce their boundaries
Women cannot compete with other women. For a woman to compete with another woman for a man requires her to reduce her, boundaries, thus reducing the power, thus reducing her value. Men can compete with men. Because here's the thing if I'm competing with another man, all I'm trying to do is look better, and make more money. And if I lose, I still look better and make more money. If a woman has to reduce her, boundaries, to get the man, she also lost her value. And the reason we are hesitant to maintain, boundaries, is we think they make us unlikable. That's why we all say yes when we really mean No.
Myrna: Truth, when a woman competes with another woman for a man, she's willing to do more than the other woman to keep the man.
Humble: A lot of us learnt to people please as children. Maybe you tried to win over a parent's love one day and you weren't received well. And then you internalized thinking it's your fault. So, then you work harder. What you may not realize is your mom or dad just had a really bad day at work. You know, our mom and dad were also raised in a world where they may not know how to be emotionally available. And there's a million reasons why but when you're a child, you can't understand that.
Myrna; So what advice do you have for people looking to find a partner? We've covered a little bit of it. You said that we don't need a partner to complete us so we should be okay to be by ourselves. But let’s say I still want a partner. I want the, love pathways, to take me somewhere? What is love?
Humble: So, I'm not saying you don't need a partner. What I'm saying is don't sacrifice your, self-respect, for a partner. If you want just straight up, dating advice, one of the best pieces of advice that I got was relive, write out your entire love life. From your, first love, in kindergarten all the way up to today. Write the entire love life out. Talk about your best memories, talk about your worst memories Then go back with a highlighter and revisit the story, anything that makes you feel good highlight it. These are the qualities you want in a partner.
So for me, I had an ex-girlfriend when I was first starting this, you know, dating somebody and this is you know, 10 years ago and she said listen, the world needs to hear your voice. Stop doing everything else the world needs to hear in your voice. The world needs to hear your ideas. So, whenever I felt insecure hearing, her say that lit uplifted me. Later on, if I was dating somebody else and they're like, look, you know work isn't everything. Your mission isn't everything. Money isn't everything. I would be like; you’re not understanding what my purpose on this planet is. We're not compatible.
So, I wrote that down somebody that understand the purpose of, Humble the Poet.
Myrna: Tell us about your book. Now normally this is the part where I asked why did you write it? And what do you want people to walk away with? But if you told me, you wrote it because you wanted to challenge the norms and challenge the way that people live their lives superficially. But what do you want to add to that?
Humble: I want people to understand that even after you read the book, even after you hear this interview, I'm not a love guru. I'm not a love expert. What I am is I am somebody who had a failed relationship. And I was desperate to figure out why it failed. I was with a beautiful person who was beautiful inside and out. But there was a lot of anxiety and a lot of toxic energy within me that wouldn't allow me to go deeper and connect with them.
For us to spend our lives together and I was desperate to figure out why I was failing at love. So, I took a super deep dive to explore love and figure out what I was doing wrong. And this book is what I learned. So, I'm not a, love guru. What I am is I'm a student at the front of the class, taking the most precise, simple notes and I'm sharing them with everybody else. And I'm still figuring myself out. I'm still learning, what is love.
I was sitting around telling myself I'm sick all the time. I'm concentrating on the pain so I started practicing, self love. I started loving the parts of my body that didn't hurt , like my hands. I start really paying attention to my thoughts, how I'm speaking to myself, and within three weeks the pain was gone. It is important to, love yourself.
Jenny Mannion has spent the last fifteen-years helping hundreds of clients re-awaken their energy & passion, rediscover their self-worth, and transform to the person they were meant to be. After suffering with several debilitating chronic diseases for over seven years, Jenny healed herself in three weeks using techniques she developed, which are the same techniques she uses today to help others heal.
Jenny helps her clients overcome fear, stress, lack of self-worth, anxiety, and traumatic memories or events with simple to use mindfulness & meditation practices, positive affirmations, revolutionary wellness practices, and community support of likeminded individuals.
Love yourself for healing
Jenny: I was sitting around telling myself I'm sick all the time. I'm concentrating on the pain so I started practicing, self love. I started loving the parts of my body that didn't hurt , like my hands. I start really paying attention to my thoughts, how I'm speaking to myself, and within three weeks the pain was gone. It is important to, love yourself.
Myrna: What was your chronic illness was?
Jenny: My first diagnosis was chronic mono. Mononucleosis sometimes leads to a serious condition called chronic EBV infection. In chronic EBV infection, you have long-lasting symptoms and a viral infection that lasts longer than usual after your original mononucleosis diagnosis.
Then they found the Epstein Barr Virus in my blood, then it was fibromyalgia. Then it was a genetic blood disorder, which made me more prone to blood clots. I manifested a blood clot within three weeks of them telling of this diagnosis and ended up in the hospital for a week. And the last was Ehlers Danlos, which was the most serious because that was what that made them say I'd wind up in a wheelchair.
Sponsored Ad
It may surprise you to know that over 90% of businesses fail within the first 5 years. That is why Artsy Animate want to help you to scale your business for success. According to business owners, two reasons for failure, are money running out and ineffective marketing. In order to grow your business and shine, you need people to help you grow.
Here at Artsy Animate, we dabble in all of it. Our team of experts all have over 5 years of experience, we develop top quality websites and offer you our best SEO strategies to help you rank and stay ahead of the competition at an affordable price. We will help/guide you reach your ultimate goal – success- bringing in more clients for your business. For more information, visit www.artsyanimate.com OR contact us at support@artsyanimate.com
Myrna: So you had four things going on with you. Wow.
Jenny: Four things and you keep going I got to keep getting diagnoses.
Myrna: And I know that, Fibromyalgia, which is the only one I recognize from that is very painful, isn't it?
Healing Fibromyalgia with self love
Jenny: Fibromyalgia, was very painful and it was focused on my leg. It feels like you have the flu, you are just really out of it. You don't know what you'll be able to do that day; If you can get out of bed. There were times when I was crawling downstairs wondering if it was safe for me to drive my kids. You have got to, love yourself, to push past the discomfort and start healing my body.
It was disempowering. I joined support groups, but those were a little disempowering, too because it wasn't about how will we cope with this illness? It became like almost a one upping, everyone sharing their sad stories, my husband left me because I'm sick. Well, you know, it wasn't inspiring at all.
So, in really focusing on my mind, and my limiting thoughts about, self love, I fostered my Mind, Body, and Spirit connection. Deepak Chopra is so great at teaching about that. Wayne Dyer with intention, really focusing on my mind, because we're on automatic pilots so much of the time. When I started to focus on, self love, I was appalled at the things I was saying to myself.
Myrna: So what exactly did you do?
Attention Shifting for deep healing
Jenny: I started with some forgiveness work. Then I went to the, attention shifting, really paying attention to my fingers that didn't hurt, because my legs were in pain and a lot of my other body parts were in pain so I started focusing my energy on the body parts that were healthy. Then gratitude work and, self love. Grateful for my comfy bed. I would be in gratitude that I could read to my kids even if I couldn't run.
Myrna: You love Deepak Chopra, one of the things I learned from him was this affirmation:
“Every day in every way, I'm getting better and better. My Biostat is set at a healthy 45 years of age. I look and feel 45 years old.” And then you go through about 10 things that you're getting better and better at you know: So I understand you saying every day that you are getting better and better!
Jenny: Yeah, I'm saying yeah, every day I'm working on my healing every day. I'm getting a little better every day. Yeah, I mean, giving myself that credit to for the work that I am doing, you know I am watching videos, I am listening, I am focusing my attention. Just really be mindful and conscious of the way I was talking to myself and where I was putting my energy.
I mean, we know this all boils down to, energy, our thoughts and emotions, creates our, energy. So, that was one of the big lesson I took away from the secret, that one line! Every 11 months were 99.9% new so where are we putting our intention?
Oh Snap Catering and Events specializes in catering delicious, mouthwatering meals as well as organizing and planning beautiful, memorable events! From soul food cuisine to healthy vegetarian eats, Oh Snap Catering caters to all dietary needs.
Myrna: True every 11 months, you're a new person. But yeah, so that's actually pretty good, because if you're seeing your healing, what you're seeing is your body is regenerating itself. So, you concentrate on, mindfulness, you concentrate on, gratitude and you practice, self love. You concentrate on your mantras and forgiving yourself. And you said in three weeks, you were you were out of pain, right? So what do you attribute that to? Do you attribute that to to the fact that you are no longer concentrating on the pain?
Jenny: I changed my, energy. The, energy, flowing through me was creating healthier cells. When I was focusing on my legs and how my legs were in pain, wondering if I could walk today; I really wasn't giving my body an opportunity to create those healthy cells. I was expecting pain and that is what I got.
Myrna: Yeah, one of the things that I learned from that is that when your, chakras, are blocked that's when disease come through. So when you talk about changing the, energy, and changing the flow I understand.
Jenny: Absolutely, once I started reading about, chakras, (Caroline Myss) was a huge influence) they resonated so deeply.
Myrna: Let’s talk about how to , love yourself. You talked about, self-love, in your Bio. What are some of the, self-love affirmations, and, self-worth, practices that you teach your clients to declare and own their value?
Jenny: Well, it's so important first of all, to have, self-love, and self-worth. Because if we are thinking we're not worthy and we don't love ourselves, we attract the relationships that reflect that, we attract negative situations. We're vibrating at that energy to attract those unhealthy relationships over and over. It can be like Groundhog Day, different person, same relationship, you know, so it is really important to, love yourself, and have, self worth.
Sponsored Ad
Now on all streaming platforms such as Spotify, apple music, amazon and Pandora.
is a beautiful original song called FAME by James Zada.
The opening track comes from the same titled album FAME and is about the singer George Michael.
If you love 80s 90s music but with a fresh modern twist then you'll love the music of James Zada.
You can find out more at his website at www.jameszada.com
Jenny: And I do think, forgiveness, is a great one. At the, soul, level we know we should love ourselves unconditionally. Unfortunately, there's a long distance between the, soul, and the, mind. When we're just in our groove, that negative self talk is limited.
The limited way we see ourselves maybe from a relationship we had or from our parents or from a job. There's so many different ways that we can get those messages and we tend to hang on to the negative messages we've received, a lot tighter than the positive ones. So it really is about reclaiming that, self love.
I love the morning and night, because that is when our, subconscious mind, is tuned in. I love the shower in the morning to practice, mindfulness. We are never mindful in the shower. We're never really there. And it’s such a powerful time, we’re receiving the water element, and we are usually were left alone in the shower.
Myrna: So, what exercises can you do in the shower that you can bring in gratitude and, mindfulness?
Jenny: There are so many different things that we can do that make that our, self love meditation, time worth it. Most people do shower in the morning. I also love the idea of holding our hands over our hearts and taking some deep breaths and bringing in one of our favorite moments. We have we're so programmed to replay the worst moments so this is a time to consciously bring in the good times.
Bring in the memory i.e of a loved one cuddling with a pet, maybe the memory of a beautiful vacation that you went on, bring in all the senses, affirm to the world that everything's okay. Because a lot of times we are affirming that things aren't okay.
So, really choosing to be mindful, choosing to listen to the stories you're telling yourself. Do you do something and then say, Oh, I'm so stupid. Well, you know, correct that, catch yourself and say that you're not stupid.
Meditation and self love is the best form of healing
Myrna: I like that. I like that. I like the shower idea too. I do, energy, work. So I meditate, I also walk in the park every morning and, when I'm going to bed I'm also you know doing, energy work. So I'm in the space, but I never actually heard anybody talk about practicing, mindfulness, in the shower. I know that a lot of people are not, conscious, in the shower, and I'm one of them. It's just one of those things where you're never actually there. So practicing to be mindful in the shower is profound.
Now, one of the things you talk about is how we can access our body's inner diagnostic system for, deep healing. How we can tap into our body inner diagnostic system, so that we can heal ourselves?
Chakras and healing energy
Jenny: I consider the, chakras, our inner diagnostic system. Connecting to those different, chakras, really can heal us. I also think it's so important to pay gratitude for our body. We have this complex system, going on all the time, we just expect them to work and usually we don't pay attention to them until they start giving us some trouble.
Myrna: Can you explain what, chakras, are?
Jenny: The, chakras, are energetic wheels of, energy, that are in our body? We have seven major ones. We have hundreds in our body, but we have seven major ones. And they're the colors of the rainbow, they run from the bottom of our lower back to our top of our head and each, chakra, holds a different, energy.
Give you an example the, Root Chakra, at the base of our spine. That's really about the messages we got from our parents from when we came into this world and it makes sense that that includes like our safety. Do we feel safe on this planet walking on this planet, it affects our legs and affects our feet. So as we go as we inform ourselves about each, chakra, we really can it kind of makes sense.
Jenny: The, heart chakra, is at the heart and it is about our relationships or, self love. Are we open to receiving love for ourselves? And it makes sense that our chest and our lungs and our heart can be affected by the balance.
So really, when we know the part of us that's not feeling well, we can go to that, chakra, and find out, what is out of balance. If you're having like, something is hard to digest, your, solar plexus chakra role, will start acting up, which is your third, chakra. Each of the, chakras, has its own emotional and physical component and it's so powerful to learn about them. You can download a free chart online to find out which, chakra, controls what.
Myrna: It's really, powerful to learn because our body is always speaking to us. And those little pains aren't to punish us. They are to tell us that something's out of balance. And if we catch it early, we can prevent things from getting really bad. I love that you've talked to your body, you know we can tell our body what we would like it to do for us.
Jenny: Our, energy, goes through the pain and focusing on the pain or taking away the pain on a superficial level like popping a pill doesn't allow, deep healing. You're not looking at why do I have this headache? Did something stress me out today? When you really, love yourself, you investigate.
Pain represents blocked energy. A lot of women that I've coached have issues with their, throat chakra. So, if you have issues with your throat or your voice, ask yourself, am I speaking my truth? Does it feel safe for you to speak your truth? Are you living authentically?
Myrna: That's pretty good. Yeah, I know about the, chakras, and I do a lot of Chakra meditation to clear my, chakras but, I never thought of them as my, inner diagnostic, system.
I just concentrated on the fact that if you have disease in your body, that means your, chakras, are blocked. Right, and you clear it, but going backwards to say, Well, yeah, you know, if you're having problems with your legs or something or you're having, you know, stomach issues. It could be because of something that came in the, energy, that got stuck there.
That's best, inner diagnosis. And then obviously, once you've diagnosed it, then you could not only heal yourself, but you can also heal your mind.
Jenny: Right, yeah, absolutely. I mean, our mind is so with energetic healing, we know that things can disappear in an instant. But if our mind doesn't change, we also manifest those things all over again. So it is really important to have that mind and a consciousness around it as well.
Conclusion
Myrna: Learn more about the, chakras, and Jenny’s APP Love 365 by visiting her on the web at www.jennymannion.com. There you get links to everything in her community and her courses. Sign up for the free healing sessions that I offer and yeah, and the first and if you do sign up for Love 365 you learn about the, chakras, every single day for a week, one a day and then you get a love through the, chakra healing meditation, at the end. Jenny’s handle on social media is @jennymannion
Thanks for tuning into the Transform Your Mind podcast and blog. If you have done so already, please subscribe rate and review us on iTunes.
Building true, confidence, after the betrayal of a partner is a gradual process. How to be confident, after a, divorce, is a gradual process. No one is going to turn into a positive, self-confident, person overnight. But if you're in need of a place to start, here are 6 tips on, how to be confident, after losing your man.
This week on Transform your Mind podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Confidence mentor Di Ridell. Di is going to talk to us today on the subject “7 Ways to get your, confidence, back after a, divorce, of death of a spouse.”
10 Tips on How to Build Confidence:
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. I know from experience that this is a, self-confidence, killer, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone younger. Remember that you're only seeing the surface of their lives and looks, not the underlying reality. Focus instead on what's important–your own strengths and goals.
2. Keep your limiting beliefs at bay.
Even the most successful people with healthy relationships have limiting beliefs about themselves, but the biggest difference is that they choose to focus on their strengths and possibilities instead of their limits.
3. Live in a positive reality.
Don't say anything about yourself that you don't want to become a reality. Positive thoughts and words alone won't make you a more, confident, person, but, confident, people do think a lot of positive things about themselves. Remind yourself of what you're capable of and what you've already accomplished.
4. Don't mask it.
Self-confidence, isn't the impression you give others; but how you feel about yourself. It's all about who you are, where you are, and where you want to be in your own life and relationships.
5. Change what you can.
Confident, people know they cannot change the past, but they can change the future. They make daily choices that lead them toward the future they want to live out.
6. Be fully committed.
Be fully committed to doing whatever you can to build your success every single day, accepting full responsibility for your life. If it gets uncomfortable, you're probably on the right track! Don't procrastinate, do what it takes without agonizing or drama.
7. Practice Self Love
8. Take action to get back on the horse. Don't isolate yourself
9. Have a Level 5 Friend to share your darkest thoughts
10. Complete yourself and not wait for someone to complete you
You should not allow your, confidence, to be dictated by someone else’s feelings in any facet of your daily life. Your feelings are just as valid as theirs, and you should never allow someone else to sink yours like an anchor, just because you have been through the, divorce, experience.
Your behavior should not be driven by the emotions of anyone, especially your ex-spouse. They may attempt to reenter the picture for whatever reason, and while that reason may be valid and may need to be dealt with, there is no reason you should allow their thoughts and their feelings to bring you down or shatter any progress you have made in rebuilding your confidence.
You cannot and should not allow yourself to be manipulated in this way. If you sense that the conversation is headed in a direction that you are not comfortable with, it is imperative that you exercise some, self-love, and remove yourself from any narrative that would damage your post-divorce recovery process.
You need to be able to believe in your ability to rebuild your life and move forward. After a, divorce, you may begin to question your ability to make life decisions, but do not let one setback color your perspective and prevent you from making these types of calls.
Whether it is through your job, your friends, your family, or a new relationship, you can make different aspects of your new life matter and move past the negativity of a dysfunctional and unhappy marriage. Your productivity in starting over and taking each step to a new future is something you should be proud of and should give you the, confidence, boost you need to take additional steps.
When it comes to a, long-term relationship, with a partner or spouse, we can maintain the thrill of being in love, and deepen our feelings of passion and intimacy past the first year. Statistics show that most, long-term relationships start out to fizzle after the first year. So to maintain the, long-term relationship, dance you have to embrace, intimacy.
However, to do this means avoiding certain behaviors, habits, and traps that, long-term relationships, commonly fall into the longer they stay together. Staying in, love, means taking the hard road and differentiating from negative past influences. It means challenging our own defenses and facing our, often subconscious, fears about intimacy.
Fighting for a, long-term relationship, means being stubborn about not getting in our own way of staying close to someone else.
Today on Mindset Transformation Radio and podcast, we are continuing with our series on the The Alchemy of Desire – The, Long-Term Relationship, Dance.
My co -host for this series is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste Intimacy Coach and, I am a Mindset Coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “The Alchemy of Desire and Intimacy”
What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.
We all Desire to be in loving fulfilling, long-term relationships, with our partners, our children, our friends and co-workers. We desire to have successful careers, some of us desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy, and today we are going to touch on the desire for flow in our, long-term relationship, and not ebb.
Anyone in a, long-term relationship, knows the, relationship, dance well. It took me a while to understand this dance of, intimacy. I walked out of my first marriage at age 21 declaring boldly “I am no longer in love with my husband and I refuse to live in a loveless marriage at age 21.” After 4 marriages I now know that relationships EBB and FLOW and that we must work at, intimacy. Erotic love, turns into, Agape love. Passion and desire EBB and FLOW.
In all my, long-term relationships, fighting and then having, make up sex, was usually the shock than rejuvenated the, relationship.
In the beginning of anything there is more energy just as electrify is more powerful at the source, feelings are more powerful when they are new.
As feelings change and familiarity sets in the, intimacy, dance begins. Just as you have to practice the waltz on the dance floor, in a similar way you must practice your, long-term relationship, dance in the bedroom.
It is important to understand why you and your partner connected in the first place and why you disconnected.
Since all relationships begin within, the scenery out there is the scenery in here.
You have to love yourself first in a long-term relationship
You can’t give away what you don’t have. You have to be, love, before you can give away, love. So the first step when you become aware of the, EBB and Flow, in your relationship is to take an inventory of your, self love.
In our first episode I introduced the book “The Alchemy of Desire.“ In this book the lovers were passionate and couldn’t keep their hands off each other, then life happened and, intimacy, veined.
Every, long-term relationship, faces this junction of lack of, desire. Once, long-term relationships, become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again. To the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy if a, long-term relationship, is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity attention and nurture of earlier times is essential.
Relationship Advice How to Water your Long-term relationship
Here is some, relationship advice, In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and sunlight if they are to thrive.
We water our, long-term relationships, by showing interest in our partners. We shine light on our, relationships, by smiling and being genuinely happy to see our partners.
I was at a stand-up comedy show with Mike Epps a few years back and he made a joke about how his wife would meet him at the door with a beer and loving embrace when they were first married, and now she shrugs and says oh it’s you!
I am genuinely happy to see my husband walk through the door and when he calls me during the day. I let him know that I appreciate him thinking about me.
The marriage relationship is an important piece of the, long term relationship, dance
Myrna – Margo what is your take on the, long-term relationship, dance? Personally you have mentioned several times that your, long-term relationships, end after 10 years. What does the dance look like to you?
Margo – I don't know why but my, long term relationships, always seem to last only 10 years. The men leave me.
Myrna – Looking back can you see the point when the, long-term relationship, ebb resulted in a break? How can anyone listening understand that ebb into a flow?
Myrna – What are some tips to keep Desire flowing instead of ebbing?
spend quality time together
be open to new experiences – if your partner likes to do something be open to new
show your love, don't hold back
keep your identity as an individual
don't be defensive in communication, be open in communication
be generous, give as you would want to receive
Understand that there is Eff and Flow in all Long-term relationships
If you find yourself in, Ebb and flow, should you panic or understand that is the flow of life that what goes up must come down.
It is fact that whenever you lean in to a relationship the other person leans out. That is the make up of, long-term relationships, there is, ebb and flow.
Have you been dealt some bad cards in life? Understand Ebb and flow of life
Then I invite you to an afternoon of learning and inspiration on “How to deal with the cards you have been dealt in Life”
This event will be at the Main Broward Library at 100 South Andrews Ave , 6 th floor, Fort Lauderdale, FL
on Saturday May 12 from 2.00 to 4.30 pm
Come out and be a part of our studio audience.
The first 5 guests will get a FREE autographed copy of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
This is a book signing and a live talk radio show airing locally on WDJY 99.1 FM Metro Atlanta
If you need more information, email me at info@myhelps.us
