Introverts, are not extroverts and most find, networking, challenging. It is possible to be an introvert and become a wildly successful networker. In his book “An Introvert’s Guide to World Domination” Author Nick Shelton offers practical, reliable strategies for forming lasting connections with others. You will improve your confidence, strengthen your relationships and gain access to people and opportunities you’ve never had before.
An Introvert’s Guide to World Domination shows introverts a way to access their best life and upgrade their lives and lifestyles through communications and networking techniques specifically designed with the introvert’s needs in mind.
By breaking the process down into bite-sized steps, Nick Shelton offers practical, reliable strategies for forming lasting connections with others. You will improve your confidence, strengthen your relationships and gain access to people and opportunities you’ve never had before.
Listen to the full interview here:
How to Find the Right Group if you are an Introvert
Myrna – When you decided that because you were an, introvert, you were going to change your circle of friends because the friends you were hanging around with were not conducive to you in becoming a social person. How did you find the right group?
Okay, I don’t want people to think that I just completely abandoned everyone I knew or say I’m not talking to my old friends, I still kept in touch with everybody; but I tried to shift my focus more towards people that I thought would be of help to my course to become a networking, introvert.
I looked for groups of people that I thought would be good to be around them. I would find that they have to meetup groups. I would go to these meet up groups and introduce myself to some people. Everybody takes a little time to be comfortable around people, just like relationships they take a little time to build; but it starts off by you initially showing up and just being around and people starting to recognize you.
Myrna – I used to go sit in expensive hotel lobbies for a different reason, not for, networking, but that is a good way to, network, with the rich. I did it to get comfortable with wealth. You were doing it to build a network with influential people, which is good too.
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What inspired you to write the book An Introverts Guide ?
After I figured out how to, network, as an, introvert, by the way I am still an, introvert. I still like to spend a lot of time alone. I recharge myself; but then when I do network, I want to go out and be seen and be heard. I’m able to do that; but once I learned how to do this then, I was often invited to do some speaking about it. I would go to speaking events and people would ask me where can we get your book, and I would say I don’t have a book! I told myself, should probably write a book.
I realized there’s a lot of, introverts, who would get a lot out of a book about how to network as an, introvert, so I sat down and starting writing a book. I knew exactly what I wanted to say. I wanted to help, introverts, who were in similar situations be able to have the steps that they needed to upgrade their lifestyles and really enhance their experience, networking.
I think everything in life comes down to your connections and your relationships and if you can have better connected relationships, it makes the life of the, introvert, so much richer. You don’t even have to be, networking, with billionaires on yachts; it can just be with your own family and close friends or people in the community.
Myrna – One of the questions that popped into my mind as you were talking about speaking and meet-up groups was, did you join toastmasters?
I did go to toastmasters because everybody says, you have to go to toastmasters. I went to toastmasters but; I didn’t really like toastmasters. Everybody said to me what are you talking about, you have to like toastmasters, everybody likes toastmasters; but I don’t know it didn’t do it for me.
I know a lot of people say well if you’re shy and, introverted, and socially awkward; how can you do public speaking? I think I have some kind of weird defect in my brain that allows me to think whenever I do public speaking, I go into a dreamlike trance. We can do anything in our dreams, you’re not a body.
If you just say go talk to those four people over there then I become an, introvert; but if you say there’s a hundred people go talk to them that’s fine, I become an, extrovert.
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Myrna – You’re kidding that that’s weird wiring; but you know it’s not that I haven’t heard it before. It is probably a good time to have a definition of an, introvert, and how that is different from, extrovert. How does someone know if they’re an, extrovert, or, introvert? We can figure out that if you are shy you may be an, introvert but I am sure there is more.
Define an introvert and the different levels
There are some people that are more, introverted, than others and there’s different categories. I’d say generally you are an, introvert, if you get drained by being out and interacting with people and have to recharge by being yourself.
I fit that category, that’s the classic, introvert. You can also be shy and that doesn’t necessarily make you an, introvert. I suffered from being shy and being drained by being around people plus the social awkwardness. I did’t know what to do and how to even interact with people, so there’s different combinations of, introversion, and there’s different levels.
One of my closest friends who has had great success with some of the techniques I teach in my book, always makes fun of me; because he always tries to compare himself saying, I’m way more, introverted, than you. I tell him this isn’t a competition.
I say that to say there’s different levels for the, introvert; so there’s different things that different obstacles that, introverts, have to deal with. An obstacle for me might not be an obstacle for my friend. I mentioned the different types of, introverts, the steps in my book is able to help the whole spectrum of, introverts.
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Everything is for everybody; but I say at the beginning of the book pick out the parts that apply to you that you can use and then what’s not helpful right now just file it away and then maybe later once you hit a certain level maybe that’s going to come in handy at a later time.
How can your Book Help Introverts
Myrna– Your book is called “An introvert’s guide to world domination: become a high level networking and upgrade your life.” So what can someone walk away with after reading your book? What are the skills that you want transferred?
I love that question that was really good,
- They are going to be able to know what their obstacles are.
- What their blocks are
- Identify those blocks so then they can get those out of the way
- Then they’re going to be able to find social events that appeal to them that can help them achieve whatever goals they desire.
What are the networking steps covered in your book?
We find out what sort of networking, introverts, should you be doing; so we cover the personal, networking, and then I also teach about, networking, in the workplace and at social events. Depending on what your goal is, you’ll have clear steps on what to do in your personal social life, in the workplace and in, networking, events to level up in all of those areas.
You’ll know exactly what to do and say if you go to the company holiday party or if you’re just going to hang out, or you take your kid to soccer practice and there’s going to be a bunch of parents there.
- You’ll know exactly what you need to do to be interesting and interested and engage in conversation
- How to have good body language and appear confident, calm and approachable.
- Show good energy, so you’ll be able to also maintain your relationship
- Know where to go, what to do, when you get there who to talk to
- What to say and how to talk to people once you’ve established a relationship
- How to maintain those relationships; because why build all these relationships if you’re not going to maintain them.
Introverts, will have this whole spectrum of, networking, obstacles; so all they have to do is just work the steps. I break it down really easy; I put little things in there to make sure that, introverts, keep pushing forward. introverts, will be able to go out and put these steps into practice immediately, the very first day even before they finish the book.
What is the definition of a social introvert?
A social, introvert, is somebody who doesn’t like talking to people and is uncomfortable in social situations. That was my biggest challenge as an, introvert, and that’s why I concentrated my book on, networking; even though I think that there are some other areas being an, introvert, would have challenges with.
So there are social, introverts, who aren’t really good around people and they don’t want to be, they want to have nothing to do with, networking, so they’d just rather maybe stay in the science lab or stay in the basement playing video games. This book is not for this type, these steps are for the, introvert, who says, hey I would like to be able to do that, I just don’t know how.
Helping Introverts Lead Regular Lives
I want to help, introverts, feel more confident just day to day in their regular life. Just going to the grocery store or if you live in an apartment building and your neighbors are out on their balcony and you think well I can’t go out on my balcony; because they’re there maybe I should wait until they go inside.
Or when it comes to your work place or when it comes to just any relationships, introverts, have an understanding of what being an, introvert, is really costing them. It’s costing them much more than you can possibly imagine, and it’s all these little micro instances of hiding. If, introverts, can just take that little extra step to not hide, it can completely change their life and lifestyle.
Myrna – I can imagine that an, introvert, is somebody who is a pleaser, because they don’t want to make a fuss right, they don’t want confrontation, they don’t want to challenge whatsoever.
Is the pandemic good or bad for the introvert?
All the, networking, in person situations are no longer an issue and we’re like talking on zoom and we’re in our bedroom and in our house and we don’t have to go out; so is an, introvert’s, heaven. The pandemic is this helping them stay hidden we, introverts, think this is the best time to be alive ever in the history! It gives the, introvert, the excuse to say, hey I would love to be out socializing and hobnobbing with everybody; but I’m locked down.
What can introverts do to make the most of this pandemic situation?
One of the things the, introvert, can do during the pandemic is to strengthen the relationships you already have. COVID gives you a perfect excuse to go through your work email and your personal email of all your contacts and see who you haven’t touched base within say three months. Make a list of those people and then every day just contact a few and just say, hey how are you doing during COVID?
Myrna – I’m going to borrow that to touch base with my real estate clients and just keep up the, networking, because a great strategy for realtors whether they are, introverts, or not to keep, networking, during the pandemic.
How to build your network as an Introvert
If you want to become a high-level networker, or upgrade your life both, introverts, and, extroverts, can be a high-level networker. I’ve had a lot of students who are realtors and they are not, introverts, but they just wanted an edge over their competition and so they used some of these techniques,
Where can listeners get a copy of your book and connect with you on social media?
My book is available on amazon.com An introvert’s guide to world domination You can also visit me on the web at connectedintrovert.com. I have an online course and a mentorship program and a free mini master class.
Thanks for listening to this podcast or watching on YouTube. If you are an iTunes user, please subscribe, rate and review this podcast. I also want to invite you to my Facebook group called Lifecoach and it’s growing by leaps and bounds and you know every day I post little you know inspiring messages.
Additional Resources Social Networking