Let’s look at the uses of salt and thus the, power of salt.
Salt is used for flavoring food
Salt, is used for, flavoring food. We all know, salt, makes food taste better, either by adding flavor to something that would otherwise be bland or by enhancing flavors that are already there. Have you ever eaten bland food? You don’t want people to label you bland or boring. To be the, salt of the earth, you have to bring the flavor to your relationships. This is where your personality shines.
Salt is used for Preserving food
Salt, is used for, preserving meats. Salt, was the ancient equivalent of refrigeration. If you wanted to stop meat or fish from decaying, you could rub in salt and make it edible for longer. This was the main reason salt was so valuable.
If you are a Christian, you are Disciples of Jesus, and he sent us into the world to keep it from decay, preserving its goodness and preventing it from becoming corrupted or ruined.
How are you preserving your relationship with your spouse, your children, your co-workers? Just like how you preserve meat by rubbing salt on it, you should preserve your relationships by rubbing kindness into them.
Salt is used for Fertilizing
The power of salt, can also be seen in, fertilizing. Several ancient civilizations used salt as a fertilizer for the soil, and depending on the conditions, it could help the earth retain water, make fields easier to plow, release minerals for plants, kill weeds, protect crops from disease, stimulate growth, and increase yields. The reason this matter is that Jesus specifically describes his people as the, salt of the earth, which in a rural, farming culture would have been significant.
Disciples are fertilizers. We’re meant to be in those places where conditions are challenging and life is hard. We are sent to enrich the soil, kill weeds, protect against disease, and stimulate growth.
So, when, Jesus, said we are the, salt of the earth, he meant that God will use us for flavoring, preserving, destroying, or fertilizing?
Salt of the earth
When, Jesus, talked about salt losing its “saltiness” or “savor,” it refers to a process in which the compounds of salts naturally disintegrate over time. We, lose our saltiness, when we no longer bring value to this world. We are no longer, flavoring, fertilizing, preserving or enriching the lives of others.
If you are, salt of the earth, then life without you would be bland and tasteless. Are you preserving your marriage or your relationship with God? Are you fertilizing the soil of your mind and killing the weeds? If not, you have lost your saltiness.
You are (like) the salt for the soil, a stimulant for growth. If you become like the savorless salt, you are no longer good for anything.
What are you doing to make sure you don’t lose your saltiness?
Here are 3 ways to become the salt of the earth
Nourish and solidify your relationship, today and tomorrow.
Become the best at what you do. Be indispensable. There is no replacement for salt.
Be salt’ deliberately seek to influence the people in your life by showing them the unconditional love of Christ through good deeds and service.
The, desert, is a harsh, dry place sometimes called the, wilderness, and most of us have to go through it to get to our promised land. In this episode of, 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I teach you how to, bloom, in the, desert.
There is no, promised land, if you don’t go through the, wilderness. You have to go through the, desert, to get to your, promised land.
You can’t drive by in your air conditioned vehicle. You have to spend some time in the, wilderness, and learn how to bloom in the dry harsh conditions.
You have to go through something to get to something
There is no, promised land, if you don’t go through the, wilderness. You have to go through something to get to your, promised land.
In the Bible, the term “Promised Land” refers to a specific region of land that God endowed to His chosen people, as part of their heritage. (Genesis 12, Genesis 26:3, Genesis 28:13) God first gave this pledge of land to Abraham saying, “I will establish your borders from the Red Sea to the Mediterranean Sea, and from the desert to the Euphrates River.” He then reiterated the vow to Abraham’s descendants until the time came for His people to claim their inheritance.
The people of Israel wandered in the, wilderness, for 40 years before they were ready to inherit the promise.
You have to spend time in the wilderness, you can’t drive through
You have to spend some time in the, wilderness. You can’t pass through in your air conditioned vehicle. You have to spend some time in the, wilderness. The, wilderness, is your in between place. You have to spend time there, but God does not intend for you to stay there. God did not intend for you or the people of Israel to die in the, wilderness.
If you die in the, wilderness, then you were never supposed to inherit, the promised land.
God promises to make a way out of no way, but in order for you to understand that promise you have to find yourself in a situation with no way out.
The pandemic was a, desert place, over a million people died. We couldn’t drink from our church, our family, our jobs, all the places we drank from was closed off to us.
God sends help in the desert
The profit Elijah found himself in the, desert, and God sent him to a brook where the ravens fed him. Find your brook. What is feeding you in your, desert place?
God says that no weapons formed against you shall prosper, he did not say the weapons will not be formed. You have to hold on and find the strength to fight the enemy and the weapons formed against you.
Sometimes you have to spend some time in the, desert place, in the place of loneliness, in the darkness of the night. The promise that joy comes in the morning is your scripture of your, promised land. Find your brook and hold on to the promise.
Even if you are in a fruitful place on the mountain top, if you keep walking, you will have to pass through the, desert! Life is made up of hills and valleys.
Your experience in the wilderness allows you to bloom
If you look back on your life you grew most in your, desert place.
What can cause a desert to blossom into a rose? Roses need water. They don’t do well with intense heat from sun blazing all day. It has no shade.
Is there anyone reading this who has blossomed while living in a concrete jungle? Who has blossomed living with abusive parents? Who has blossomed in the desert place of extreme property? Read Viola Davis story and it will give you hope that you could be the rose that, blooms in the, wilderness.
The purpose of the, desert, is to teach you how to walk with the giver of living waters, The Holy Spirit.
Mind power, is one of the strongest and most useful powers you possess. This power consists of your, thoughts. The, thoughts, that pass through your, mind, are responsible for everything that happens in your life. Your predominant, thoughts, influence your behavior and attitude and control your actions and reactions.
Mind power allows you to become a co-creator of your life
You may not believe that you are the co-creator of your life because whatever you think about, you bring about. That is the amazing, power of your mind.
One of the ways of unlocking our, mind power, is understanding how our, subconscious mind, works. Whether we’re looking to be creative or successful in areas of our lives, we’re going to need the, power of your subconscious mind.
The, subconscious mind, is also called the superconscious because it is your connection to source. To unlock the amazing, power of your mind, is to take your desires to the subconscious level and let your, subconscious mind, bring your desires to you. The, subconscious mind, or the universe goes out and works for you.
Let’s say you’re drawn to 10 different things at the same time your, mind, is capable of creating 10 different channels and keep them running all at the same time creating a complex mathematical problem. That is how complex human mind is. This complexity you can use either to drive yourself crazy with unbridled thought and emotion. Or if you harness it, it can do things that nobody has imagined possible. It can do things in a miraculous way. You can manifest things in a phenomenal way by tapping into the, subconscious mind.
To Access mind power you got to read the manual
Most human beings the problem is we have this super computer, the most sophisticated machine on this planet and we have never read the user’s manual. Sadhguru says some people to want to read the user manual of the mind on their last day, what’s the point? If you buy a phone, should you read the user’s manual in the first three days not after three years when you want to get rid of the phone?
Should you not understand the, power of the mind, and the super computer that is your, brain power? Should we not understand what is the nature of our mind, what is the full potential of it and explore this?
Unlocking your, mind power, is a matter of working with your, subconscious mind. It’s becoming a co-creator in your life and living a life by design and not by chance. Tap into the amazing power of your, mind, by giving your, subconscious mind, a purpose to work on for you.
When you combine your, conscious mind, with your, subconscious mind, you’ll be able to tap into your, mind power, and create what it is you desire. Whether that’s being more creative or a path to success, you can create anything with your, mind power.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. Until next time Namaste
We are born with invisible, seeds of greatness, inside of us, that we need to nurture in a, tree. endowed with a combination of unique gifts, strengths, and talents. Some of us are born into less-than-ideal circumstances, and some of us are born into a more privileged life. Regardless of economic realities, or the environment we were born into, each of us has the ability to nurture our, seeds of greatness, as our own unique, seeds. It doesn’t matter where you start out only where you end up.
In order for your, seeds of greatness, to become a harvest, you must consistently tend to them. If you neglect the God-given, seeds, you were born with, they will eventually die because the, weeds of neglect, will kill them.
Sadhguru says that all of us have come into this world with the same, seeds, but for this, seed, to become a, tree, between a, seed, and the, tree, there is a journey to be made. If you want the, seed, to become a, tree, you have to nurture the, seed, and you have to protect it from the, weeds, of automatic negative thoughts.
The same, weeds, have been bothering humanity for a million years, still human beings haven’t figured out how to handle these, weeds. Weeds of life, like anger, hatred, jealousy, fear, endless doubt. These, weeds, have lasted so long, because, weeds, don’t need any care, they sprout up because we don’t cultivate the, garden of our minds. Weeds, don’t need any protection, weeds, don’t need any cultivation, they just grow without any help from you; but if you want a, sacred seed, to sprout and prosper, you have to pull up the, weeds, you have to cultivate the land which is your mind.
Your seeds need water and sunlight to turn into a tree
You have to make sure enough water and sunlight finds its way to the, seed. How do you do that? Let’s say you were born with the talent of singing, you have to nurture your vocal cords, you have to protect your voice, you have to practice singing daily until you can sign like an opera star. What are the, weeds, that could snuff out your talent? Like Sadhguru says doubt. Maybe jealousy of someone who is better that you because they are giving their talent the sunlight it needs and you are in the corner doubting yourself and being jealous of them.
Are you surrounded by thorns that are choking out what your heart desires and what you were put on this earth to do, or are you planting your, seeds, in fertile soil where your dreams can flourish?
What, seeds of greatness, do you have to plant and nurture into a, tree? Does your mind provide the fertile soil where your dreams can take root?
How do you nurture your, seed, into a, tree? You prepare the soil of your mind and make sure it is fertile and conducive to the growth of your, seed.
By taking control of your, emotions, you can free yourself from the pain of old wounds, loneliness, feelings of not good enough as you expand your consciousness and well-being.
Today I want to talk on the subject “ 7 steps to Take control of your emotions” I think the time is apt for this conversation because we are entering the Holiday season and a large percentage of us will be wishing for things to be different. If you are single, you will be wishing you had someone to share Christmas and New Years with, if you are in an unhealthy relationship, these is nothing like the holidays to point that out and then there are those who have lost loved ones, we always remember them during the, holidays.
Don’t be hijacked by your emotions over the holidays
So, with that being said, the, holidays, have gained a bad reputation for being an emotional roller coaster. Instead of experiencing a season of peace, many people dread this time of year as a season of stress and frayed, emotions. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can bring the gift of peace to yourself by following seven steps of, emotional release. By taking control of your, emotions, you can free yourself from the pain of old wounds, loneliness, feelings of not good enough as you expand your consciousness and well-being.
Here are 7 Steps to, take control of your emotions. Take your time with each step, staying with it until you feel a sense of completion before moving on to the next one.
Step 1: Take Responsibility for Your Own Feelings
When someone has hurt or wronged you, there’s a tendency to hold onto blame and accusation, or a wish that the other person will ask for forgiveness and express how sorry they are for what they’ve done to you. Such wishes almost never come true, and when you keep holding onto, toxic emotions, you only victimize yourself.
To begin to change this situation, first, take responsibility for your, feelings. This isn’t the same as blaming yourself or finding an excuse to let the person who hurt you off the hook. Instead, you say to yourself, “No one is feeling this hurt (or anger or resentment) except me; therefore, it is up to me to do something about it. I accept responsibility for how I feel.”
Step 2: Witness the Emotion with Detachment
There are only two ways in which you can relate to an old emotion: either with attachment or, detachment. If you are attached, then a reminder of the past brings back the old hurt or wrong, and you vividly relive the, toxic emotions, all over again. When you are detached, on the other hand, an old feeling doesn’t trigger you; you can feel it without getting mired in emotional upset.
To make the shift from attachment to, detachment, recall the emotional situation you want to release, sitting calmly and letting it return. Instead of thinking about the situation or the people involved, close your eyes and feel your body. Let your attention easily go to any tightness, strain, discomfort, or ache. Don’t force anything. If the sensation is too intense, take a deep breath and open your eyes—this will bring you out of contact with the sensation.
If the sensation is manageable, visualize a white light infusing the area where the sensation is occurring. After a few seconds, see the white light exiting your body as you exhale. Have the intention of sending the old, emotions, away. Do this exercise for a few minutes until the sensation lessens. You don’t have to release it completely—often old, stuck emotions, take some repetition, one session per day, to complete the release, or even more if you are releasing a deep, long-held experience.
The key to, detachment, is to avoid mentally replaying the old situation all over again. Instead, put your attention entirely on the physical response being held inside the body, which gives you the ability to be more detached.
Step 3: Express the Emotion
Putting, feelings, into words helps in two ways: it gives you greater clarity and access to the emotion you want to release, and it gives your mind something positive to do in the releasing process. The technique of expressing the emotion has three parts.
Part One: Write down the whole story of this old emotion, recalling who did what, how you felt, and the consequences that followed. Leave nothing out when describing how hurt, outraged, abused, betrayed, or victimized you felt. This is your first-person account of what happened and how you felt.
Part Two: Now write down the same story as the other person in the situation would tell it. Your first-person account switches to a second-person account. With just as much detail, relate the other side of the story. Don’t insert your own blame or judgments. As in a courtroom, the other person is telling their side of the story.
Part Three: Finally, put on a reporter’s hat and tell the story again, this time in the third person. Imagine that a journalist or detective is investigating the situation and is writing an objective report about what happened.
Step 4: Share the Experience with Someone You Love and Trust
The next step is to share your experience with a close confidant, such as a friend or family member. Important note: If your emotion is rooted in a traumatic experience or a secret shame that you have never shared with anyone, it’s best to seek the help of a professional therapist.
In all likelihood, your friends and family have already heard your complaints. This time, however, relate the three steps you have just taken. Instead of seeking sympathy for your injuries or asking for help or commiseration, now you are unveiling how you intend to heal and release this old painful, emotions.
Just by sharing your process of, emotional release, you deepen your commitment to it. At the same time, the release will begin to feel more real because others have been brought into the process.
Step 5: Reflect on the Emotion
By now, the stuck emotion has started to dislodge. You are no longer trapped by it and victimized by past events. Take some time and ask yourself a critical question: Is holding on helping me or making the situation worse? Don’t ask this superficially and be sure to reflect deeply on what is true. There is a perverse satisfaction we all feel when nursing our wounds and grudges. In fantasy, we exact all kinds of payback and punishment, which can feel like it’s helping us when it’s only reinforcing our pain.
If you still feel stuck in old, emotions, be patient with yourself. Wait until you feel calmer and more centered. Perhaps you might want to repeat the previous steps a second time. It is essential that you see, very clearly and rationally, that your interpretation of events—and the, painful emotions, resulting from it—isn’t helping you. It has closed off an avenue of openness, trust, and inner peace.
Step 6: Release Through a Ritual That Is Memorable
A ritual is like drawing a line in the sand, stepping over it, and not looking back. Such a ritual is important with deep, long-held feelings. You have consciously been working toward the moment of, emotional release. Make the ritual one that you will remember. It is up to you whether the ritual will be private or shared with others close to you.
What kind of ritual? Some people write down the story of their process up to this point and burn the paper in a beach bonfire, throwing the ashes out to sea or into the wind. Others take a rock or stone and symbolically “charge” it with their story and, emotions, before casting it into the ocean or a river. A ritual can be made out of tossing away old mementos and photos. Be creative and choose something that will stick in your mind as a decisive turning point.
Step 7: Celebrate the Release
This step is self-explanatory, but remember to include it. When stuck, emotions, are released, there’s a gap or hole where it used to be. You want to fill it with lightness and joy. You want to congratulate yourself for truly accomplishing something. A celebration of the most positive kind, in the spirit of renewal, is called for.
By using this process consistently, you will gradually be able to let go of old hurts and resentment, freeing yourself to experience your inherent state of peace and well-being. This is a gift not only to yourself but to everyone in your life and the world beyond.
Some, people come into your life for a reason, season, or lifetime, but we have a tendency to turn, relationships, that were only meant to be for a, reason, into a forever relationship and that is why we suffer. These, relationships, have passed their expiration date.
In the Bible story of, Jonah. Jonah, heard from God that he wanted him to go preach a message of repentance to the people of Nineveh. Jonah, refused because he believed the people of Nineveh deserved to be punished, so he booked a ticket on a ship going in the opposite direction to get as far away from Nineveh. So, God caused a storm and then whispered in the ear of the sailors that, Jonah, was the cause of the storm and that if they threw him over board they would survive the storm. So, they threw, Jonah, overboard.
God then spoke to the whale and prepared the whale to swallow, Jonah, whole and not to digest him. Jonah, was in the belly of the whale 3 days until realized that his disobedience was the, reason, for him being in the belly of the whale.
He prayed and asked God for mercy and agreed to complete his assignment. God then told the whale where to drop, Jonah, off in Nineveh, the place where he was supposed to go in the first place.
I used this story to highlight that sometimes, people come into your life for a reason, and not for a lifetime. Jonah and the whale, was for a, reason. The whale’s only purpose in this story was to swallow, Jonah, spin him around for a few days and then drop him off after he came to his senses.
When the whale dropped off, Jonah, there were no tears, they never saw each other again.
We have to realize that, some people come into our life for a reason, and not try to turn, relationships, that were only meant to be for a, season, or a, reason, into a, forever relationship, and that is why we suffer. These, relationships, have passed their expiration date.
Here are the, life lessons, we can gleam from Jonah and the whale:
God is in charge. You have a purpose and an, assignment, to your life and even though God gave you free will he still expects you to complete your, assignment.
In order for you to complete your, assignment, some people come into your life for a reason, but because of our psychological make up we fall in love with the people who are only supposed to be in our lives for a, reason. The whale swallowed, Jonah, and transported him to where he needed to be. When the whale dropped off, Jonah, that was the end of the, entanglement. Some people come into your life for a reason, and that reason is called an, entanglement, it is not supposed to lead to a marriage or kids.
Ask Jada Pinkett Smith. She correctly called her affair an, entanglement. The, reason we suffer is that we do not realize that some people come into our lives for a reason, and some for a, season. We try to make our, relationships, last longer than they were intended to.
The third, life lesson, we can learn from, Jonah and the whale, is that God spoke directly to the whale and not to, Jonah. He told the whale to swallow, Jonah, and he told the whale when to vomit him up. Many of us feel badly when we are vomited up and left alone, but we forget that, some people come into our life for a reason, and that reason was to carry us to the other side. Maybe that man helped you go back to school. Maybe he provided for you and your children when their father walked out on you and left you penny less. He was there for a, season, your winter season and a, reason, to get you through.
There is nothing wrong with you. Jonah, didn’t go asking the whale why he vomited him up. He didn’t feel unworthy because the whale did not want to eat him. I read an interview a few weeks back from the actress Emma Thompson. She said that when she found out that her husband was having an affair, she never felt so unlovable and unworthy of love in her life. How many of us have been there. When we are cheated on, we feel there is something wrong with us. We feel unlovable.
Haley Berry said it best she said she left like a piece of gum under David Justices shoes. You have got to realize that men don’t cheat because there is something wrong with you. They cheat because there is something wrong with them and that is how God sets you free.
Have no fear you will find your forever love be patient he will show up when you least expect it. Your failed relationships were there for a reason, God used them to prepare you for your forever love.
In the episode of 5 Min Fridays with Coach Myrna, I share 4 secrets to improving yourself as taught by Jim Rohn. Every book you read, every podcast you listen to, every seminar you attend, starts changing your philosophy. Now if you’re excited, and you’re ready to change your lifestyle and improve yourself, here are the steps to improve yourself. Improving yourself will one day show up in your bank account and in your lifestyle.
You don’t have to change what’s outside, all you got to change is what’s inside. To have more you simply have to become more. Don’t wish it was easier wish, you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Start working on improving yourself by making these personal changes and it’ll all change for you.
Jim Rohn, says here’s the secret, learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. Once I got that it turned my life around. He said if you work hard on your job, you’ll make a living. If you work hard on yourself, you can make a fortune. He said If you would have known me at age 25 you would have said, Jim Rohn’s, a hard worker you didn’t know me you would have said that. I’m the guy that don’t mind coming in a little bit early, and staying a little bit late. But If you’ll start working harder on yourself than you do on your job, work hard on yourself and develop the skills, work hard on yourself and develop the graces all of the stuff necessary to become more valuable to the marketplace. Your whole life can explode into change.
When you improve yourself Life is no problem
Promotions – no problem
Becoming more valuable to the company – no problem
Money – no problem
Economics – no problem
Future – no problem.
You just go to work on the right thing. Don’t try to change the seed, don’t change the soil, don’t change the sunshine, don’t change the rain, don’t change the mix of seasons.
Let the miracle of everything that’s available work for you and start working on the inside.
Work on your philosophy.
Work on your attitude.
Work on your personality,
Work on your language,
Work on the gift of communication,
Work on all of your abilities.
If you’ll start making those personal changes, I’m telling you, everything will change for you.
Success is not something you pursue
Success, is something you attract by the person you become. Success, is not something you pursue. So, the whole key to unlock all the treasures, whether it’s economic treasures or spiritual treasures, financial, social personal every way you can possibly think of is by your own, personal development.
Then he added one more which is so important, and it’s probably worth its weight in gold. Here it is. What you become is much more valuable than who you are today. You become by the books you read, you become by the thoughts you have. If you want the things on the higher shelf, you got to stand on the books you read. Every book you read; you get to stand a little higher, so you can get the things on the higher shelf.
Every book you read, every podcast you listen to, every seminar you attend, starts changing your philosophy. Now if you’re excited, and you’re ready to change your lifestyle and, improve yourself.
Here’s the steps to improve yourself:
Find out how things work. The first key to doing better and improving yourself is find out how things work.
Then you need, ideas. The books you read can give you, ideas. Become a good reader. All of the successful people I know, they’re all good readers. Curiosity drives them to read. You need, ideas, on a new business, you need ideas to start something new. You may think you need, money; no the problem is lack of, ideas on creating wealth. It isn’t lack of, money. It’s a, lack of ideas. So, if you get the idea so you can change anything. When you find out something that works, put the information in your journal. Don’t use your head for a filing cabinet. Put it in your journal so that you can do the next best thing, Repetition, repetition, go over it. And if you repeat it, go over it. Sure enough, someday, some mysterious day. The idea takes root and shows up in your bank account and your lifestyle.
Study success, it leaves clues. If you wish to be successful, study success. If you wish to be happy study happiness. If you wish to be wealthy study wealth, don’t leave it to chance. Make it a study. Some people just go through the day with their fingers crossed. You’ve got to study the things that can change your economic, social, spiritual personal life.
Finally, learn, study, grow, change. It’s what, how to improve yourself, is all about. Human development, takes time, incredible amounts of time. It does take time for personal development, it does take time for, spiritual development, physical development and, mental development. So, it is important to keep feeding the mind, nourishing the mind.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of, 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I hoped you were encouraged to keep improving yourself daily by reading and looking for new ideas because whenever you seek, you will find.
Today I want to give some, relationship advice, and teach on the topic Ten ways women jump into the wrong, relationships.
I have heard it said that, women are responders, and it is true. Men know this and that is why they court us. And sometimes we find ourselves in relationships just because we were courted. eHarmony says that both men and women can fake us out for 2 years before we see who they truly are.
So today I want to share about some of the ways we as women jump into the wrong relationships.
Relationship advice: Don’t ignore the warning signs
We as women ignore the, warning signs; we ignore the internal alarms and move ahead into a love fantasy. Thinking we are the one that can make him change. Case in point, a man hollers at you and he is living with a woman or he is married. He tells you that he is only there for some reason and that he no longer loves his wife. He promises to leave in a certain amount of time. 99% of the time men never leave, but let’s say he will and string you along sometimes for years. Don’t ignore the, warning signs. Let me give you some, relationship advice, If he hasn’t left before he met you, he ain’t going leave.
Some women feel that it is a dog eat dog would out there and that good men are hard to find. Because we fear being alone, we accept the first person who comes along, only to be left beaten, ripped off and sometimes even impregnated. Here is some, relationship advice, never go into, relationships, as a needy person. Men can smell your need, It’s like giving beef to a blood hound. Its not going to end well for you.
Another reason women jump into the wrong, relationships, is we confuse friendship for romantic love. Love is about chemistry; friendship is a bonus in a love relationship, but friendship without love is a roommate arrangement.
Some relationships should stay as friends
As women we have a hard time saying No, so sometimes when you just want to be friends we get caught up in intimate, relationships, and have no chemistry with our partner. Some, relationships, should stay as friends but we have a hard time saying no, I just want to be friends. Next thing you know he is asking to move in and you say yes or even marry him and you know that you are not in love.
You get caught up in packaging and promises. We all like the playboys. They look good, they know how to make you feel like a woman, but you are just a plaything for them. You fall in love and they just like you. They have no intention of taking the, relationship, to the next level while you are shopping for wedding dresses.
Relationship advice: never issue an ultimatum
You demand a commitment or issue an ultimatum and the man goes along with it because it suits his purpose at the time. But how many of you know you can’t force love it is either there or it is not so he goes along with it until he finds something better. You become his in the meantime woman.
As I mentioned earlier, women are responders, so men dole out gifts and charm and we respond to the treatment without exploring if this, relationship, is right for us. But how many of you know that people can only play roles for a short time. Sooner or later usually after the man gets what he wants they move on to the next victim.
You allow blind faith, which leads to blind love, to take you into a relationship that is unhealthy. A lot of Christian women would stay in unhealthy relationships praying to God to fix the other person, but if God didn’t send the man, he is not going to fix him.
Love and sex are not the same thing
Sexual compatibility, is mistaken for love. It took me a while to understand that sex and love are two different things. Women are emotional creatures and usually fall in love with their, sexual partners, men on the other hand are very good at compartmentalization. They are able to separated good sex from love.
Breaking up is hard to do. Women stay in, relationships, even though they are miserable trying to work things out even though most times the men have already moved on emotionally. I have learned personally men leave emotionally long before they leave physically.
While you are, waiting for love, you need to get prepared for love. One way to do this is to know which floor of, love’s house, you live on. If you live in the basement you have to do the work to get to the Attic. In the Attic everything is in tip top shape, you look good, you’ve done good. You are ready, you expect, love, to show up and it does.
Iyanla Vangant’s book “In The Meantime” the author gives us instructions on what to do while you are, waiting for love, to find you.
Iyanla says there are 4 floors that determines where we are in our ability to be a great partner.
· The basement
· The first floor
· The second floor
· The 3rd floor
· The Attic
In this episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I break down what each floor looks like and what as women what we need to do to move up to the top floor as we are, waiting for love.
But before I get to what these floor means. Let’s look at, love. Life is about, love. Love, is the only true meaning of life. Being alive means that we are occupants in, love’s house, and are accountable to, loves rules, and we all should experience it.
As women we are not always aware of how our needs lead us into dark corners, looking for love. We look for love in all the wrong places and find, no love. So we always seem to end up alone in the basement of life looking out the window.
Because our, biological clock, is always ticking or sometimes we just don’t want to be alone or sometimes we desperately want to be loved we inevitably accept the wrong partner. Our, love story, is always one of hurt and suffering. Men know that women are responders, so they court us, buy us dinner, give us gifts and we respond and then when they get what they want, they move on to the next conquest.
So, while you are, in the meantime, waiting for your next relationship you have to know where you live, you have to know, what is love, and become aware of what you need to work on so you can move up to the attic of, love’s house.
The basement of love’s house
In the basement of, love’s house, Your house needs cleaning. The basement is where you throw all the stuff you don’t want. There is dirt and clutter everywhere. It is time to pick up, sweep out, get rid of the old, useless, worn-out, stuff that you have been hanging on to. You have to get rid of your baggage.
It’s. Dirty job but someone has to do it and that someone is you.
You can’t play in a dirty basement. Most, basement dwellers, become angry and resentful blaming others for their misery. How many of you know that victims have no power. You and only you are responsible for the choices you made in life. Stop blaming others. Unfortunately, victims of, love, can never seem to find anyone to, love, them the way they want to be loved. They are always being cheated on, treated badly, used up, and dumped.
In relationships, basement dwellers, are obsessed with issues related to survival. They hang on to people in order to survive. A battered spouse lives in the basement.
What to do if you live in the basement:
Take back your self-respect and set up boundaries on how you will be treated.
Throw out the baggage you have been holding on to. I know you collected and stored up all the hurt from your childhood.
Now is the time to talk to a therapist or coach and let your baggage go. Throw out your baggage and dirty laundry, because if you don’t you will take them into, another love, and that, love, will also end.
First Floor of Love’s house
You must know the rules if you want to play the game. You are the, love, you seek. While you are, waiting for love, you are the companionship you desire.
When you live on the first floor of, love’s house, you are still preoccupied with physical love and satisfaction. You are still asking yourself why aren’t you pretty enough, desirable enough and why nobody loves you. You feel incomplete and worthless. You are probably blaming your parents for not loving you enough. You don’t make self-care a priority, so you tell yourself you have, no love, because you are overweight.
Whatever you project is what men see. It is part of your aura and it is not attractive. When you lack self-confidence you become a magnet for unavailable men.
On the, first floor of love’s house, you start to build boundaries and decide what you will and will not put up with in relationships. In the basement you let people walk all over you because you needed them, now if a man tells you he going to call you and you don’t hear from him in a week, you get to stepping.
A First Floor Love Story
Iyanla Vanzant shares a, love story, depicting floor love in her book “In the Meantime.”
This male couple was very much in, love, and a perfect match for each other, the problem was that one of them was living as an openly gay man and the other was living in the closet. He was also engaged to be married and living with a woman. The openly gay partner kept pressuring the other to tell his fiancé he is gay and move in with him. He finally agreed to do it one day. His partner prepared a feast with champagne and waited and waited for him to show up. He never did. He couldn’t hurt his mother who hated gay men. He ended up terminating his relationship with his gay lover and continued to live a lie with his fiancé.
But the author asked the question why did an openly gay man fall in love with a man in the closet living with a woman? This same scenario plays out when Singe women falls in love with married men. This only happens when you are living on the first floor of love’s house and unconsciously sabotaging your life.
Second floor of love’s house
The second floor is where you learn to have a relationship with yourself. The second floor is where you know that you are, in the meantime, relationship because you know what you want.
You are aware of your patterns of falling for unavailable men or if you are male hooking up with women who trade sexual services for money for their hair, nails, clothing or rent.
You do not enter, meantime relationships, in need, you enter them by choice; eyes wide open. You know this is not the forever one, but he is the one for now. Maybe you like being held, you like having company to go out, you like having someone to talk to. You know who you are and you never lose yourself. Nobody is using you, you are here by choice
The third floor of love’s house
Living On the third floor is a cakewalk because you have all the information you need to move through any situation. You understand that love is an energy that heals everything. You learn to apply it to every situation. You are, waiting for love, and you are ready.
Here is an example of a 3rd. floor love.
Tim was a surgeon and Lara was a nurse. They worked together for about a year before they started dating. When Tim suggested they get married Lara agreed. Shortly after the honeymoon Lara realized that Tim was always critiquing her in a way that was a back handed compliment he would say things like “why are you only a nurse, they are only glorified slop queens; you are smart enough to be a doctor or your hair is pretty, but it would look nicer if it was shorter or streaked”
Then Tim decided it was time for Lara to get pregnant and took away her birth control pills. Lara did not want kids yet because she was not even sure she liked her husband. One day he said to her after 4 months of trying. What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you get pregnant that’s when Lara blurted out because I don’t like you. You are just like my father.
Lara took 3 weeks alone to decide if she wanted to stay in the marriage. Then she came back home and demanded what she needed from Tim. He agreed.
When you live on the Third floor of, Love’s house, you realize that life is but a dream and you are the dreamer. As the dreamer, you know that you can change your scenario any time you wish. You demand what you want.
The Attic: the top floor of Love’s house
You’ve made it to the Attic of, Love’s house. Take a look around. Everything is in tip top shape, you look good, you’ve done good. You have made it to the top of the “Love is Sweet suite.” You are, waiting for love, but because you are ready you expect, love, to show up and it does.
So, what does life in the Attic look like?
Life in the Attic is what the film the Notebook is all about. Unconditional love. Love, that does not see color, love that does not see status. You love even the though the person you love does not even remember who you are anymore. It is where Jesus lives, it is where Buddha lives, it is where the archangels and healers live. It is the realm of the spirit and the highest level of the mind, it is where you want to live.
Many of us will never get to the attic of, love’s house, because it takes work to get there and stay there. My wish for you is not to live in the basement or even the first floor. Awareness is always the first step to change. You can’t change anything you are not aware of. I hope I gave you something to thing about.
Waiting for Love Avicii
Avicii, the singer songwriter also wrote a song called, Waiting For Love. Avicii, song was about discovering his wife missing in the morning, as he frantically searches the house and finds no trace of her. Distraught and despondent, he looks at a picture of his wife from the past before he leaves home on his mobility scooter the next day to search for her.
He roams through the countryside on his scooter, witnessing many sights and wonders in his journey; including a bridge, a city, a beach, a marsh, snowy mountains, and numerous grasslands and forests. As the man’s journey continues, he experiences flashbacks of him and his wife in happier times, all the while growing as a person and making unlikely friends as well as performing many good deeds along the way while he was, waiting for love, to return.
He ultimately returns to his home city in the midst of a celebration and is welcomed as a celebrity, as well as discovering his wife and love waiting for him as they reunite and embrace in joy.
Thanks for tuning in to this week’s episode of Transformation Fridays with coach Myrna until next time Namaste
Single means not married. If you have a boyfriend, you are single. If you are engaged, you are single. If you live with a guy, you are single.
So, what is the right way to be single?
Should you go to clubs and pick up guys for one-night stands? Should you play the algorithms from dating sites? Should you get a rule book and play the rules?
In this episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I share what you should do while prepare yourself for love.
I just finished watching the movie, How to be Single. The movie showcases three, single ladies. One woman using algorithms to select her perfect mate from 10 dating sites. Her goal was to find a mate and get married 18 months after meeting her man.
The second woman chose to sleep with strange men and have no meaningful connection with any of these men. To her sex was just a bodily function like peeing.
The 3rd woman didn’t want to be, single, so she slept with men hoping it would lead to something, but the timing was always wrong. She kept meeting men who were emotionally unavailable or wanted to play the one-night stand game. In the end she decided that it was great being alone and doing her own thing. She even either purchased or made her own contraption to pull down her zipper!
Single ladies are looking but not finding single men
I am sure most of the women listening to this podcast are not married, because it seems to be the culture. Everybody is looking but nobody is finding.
Also, it may seem condescending but let me share the definition of, single. Single, means not married. If you have a boyfriend, you are, single. If you are engaged, you are, single. If you live with a guy, you are, single.
So, what is the right way to be single?
Should you go to clubs and pick up guys for one-night stands? Absolutely not. I don’t know who started that trend. Probably the same person who made up the name whore. Sex should be a very personal and intimate experience. Everybody you have sex with leaves a part of themselves behind. Hollywood needs to stop promoting promiscuity. It is definitely not the way to be, single.
Single Ladies Throw out the rule book
Should, single ladies, have rules like Steve Harvey’s 90-day rule? In the movie “Think Like a Man” one, single, woman decided that her cookie did not come out of the cookie jar until after 90 days. So, she told her date this number and he was game to wait it out because now her cookie was something he wanted. Something interesting happened along the way. He started to like her and called her his girlfriend.
That was exactly why, Steve Harvey, gave this advice. The longer you wait to have sex, the man has time to get to know you as a girlfriend. I interviewed a relationship coach on the show the episode was called “What do men want” he says that as soon as you sleep with a man his emotional connection stops growing. So, the longer you keep sex off the table, the more his feelings for you grows.
Some, single ladies, subscribe to the theory that sex before marriage ruins a marriage. We can always find the extremes. The trick to being, single, is to find out what works for you. If you want the, girlfriend experience, I suggest you get to know the man before you introduce sex in the relationship.
How to be Single
I believe this is, how to be single:
Enjoy your own company by learning how to be alone without being lonely.
Getting to know yourself, your real likes and dislikes, what makes you happy. When there is no one around to please, you please yourself, you do more self-care. You go to the gym, not to meet men, but to improve yourself.
Prepare yourself so you will be ready when your soul mate shows up.
You are in the meantime space.
Tune in next week as we talk about what to do while you are waiting for love.