Coach Myrna: How to Be Single

Coach Myrna: How to be single

Single means not married. If you have a boyfriend, you are single. If you are engaged, you are single. If you live with a guy, you are single.

So, what is the right way to be single?

Should you go to clubs and pick up guys for one-night stands? Should you play the algorithms from dating sites? Should you get a rule book and play the rules?
In this episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I share what you should do while prepare yourself for love.

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Movie: How to be single

I just finished watching the movie, How to be Single. The movie showcases three, single ladies.  One woman using algorithms to select her perfect mate from 10 dating sites. Her goal was to find a mate and get married 18 months after meeting her man.

The second woman chose to sleep with strange men and have no meaningful connection with any of these men. To her sex was just a bodily function like peeing.

The 3rd woman didn’t want to be, single, so she slept with men hoping it would lead to something, but the timing was always wrong. She kept meeting men who were emotionally unavailable or wanted to play the one-night stand game. In the end she decided that it was great being alone and doing her own thing. She even either purchased or made her own contraption to pull down her zipper!

Podbay FM Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podbay FM

Single ladies are looking but not finding single men

I am sure most of the women listening to this podcast are not married, because it seems to be the culture. Everybody is looking but nobody is finding.

Also, it may seem condescending but let me share the definition of, single. Single, means not married. If you have a boyfriend, you are, single. If you are engaged, you are, single. If you live with a guy, you are, single.

So, what is the right way to be single?

Should you go to clubs and pick up guys for one-night stands? Absolutely not. I don’t know who started that trend. Probably the same person who made up the name whore. Sex should be a very personal and intimate experience. Everybody you have sex with leaves a part of themselves behind. Hollywood needs to stop promoting promiscuity. It is definitely not the way to be, single.

Goodpods podcast

Single Ladies Throw out the rule book

Should, single ladies, have rules like Steve Harvey’s 90-day rule?  In the movie “Think Like a Man” one, single, woman decided that her cookie did not come out of the cookie jar until after 90 days.  So, she told her date this number and he was game to wait it out because now her cookie was something he wanted. Something interesting happened along the way. He started to like her and called her his girlfriend.

That was exactly why, Steve Harvey, gave this advice. The longer you wait to have sex, the man has time to get to know you as a girlfriend.  I interviewed a relationship coach on the show the episode was called “What do men want” he says that as soon as you sleep with a man his emotional connection stops growing. So, the longer you keep sex off the table, the more his feelings for you grows.

Some, single ladies, subscribe to the theory that sex before marriage ruins a marriage. We can always find the extremes. The trick to being, single, is to find out what works for you. If you want the, girlfriend experience,  I suggest you get to know the man before you introduce sex in the relationship.

Transform Your Mind podcast curiocaster podcast
curiocaster podcast

How to be Single

I believe this is, how to be single:

  • Enjoy your own company by learning how to be alone without being lonely.
  • Getting to know yourself, your real likes and dislikes, what makes you happy. When there is no one around to please, you please yourself, you do more self-care. You go to the gym, not to meet men, but to improve yourself.
  • Prepare yourself so you will be ready when your soul mate shows up.

You are in the meantime space.

Tune in next week as we talk about what to do while you are waiting for love.

Conclusion

This is life coach Myrna Young, and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. Thanks for listening. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources 

How to Find your Soulmate

 

Your Struggle is Part of Your Story

Your Struggle is Your Story

Your, struggle, started before you were born. Your mama acted that way because of her story, your father won’t have walked away if he didn’t also have a story. Your shift started the day you were born but it is not the day your, story, started.

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Marilyn Monroe’s story of struggle

I just finished watching the Netflix film called Blondie the, Marilyn Monroe story. Marilyn’s, story, is the perfect, back story, for my message today. Her, story, started way before she was born.  Her parents met and had a baby.  Both of them were messed up.  Her father walked away, and her mother blamed, Norma Jean, for her father walking away.  The fact that the father walked away contributed to her mental health and what did she do, she abused, Norma Jean, because that is what adults do when they are hurting, they hurt the defenseless.

What was her father’s, story? Why did he walk away and abandon his child at conception and never looked back.  In the, story, there was a fire and the mother attempted to drive through the fire to get to the father’s house in Hollywood which tells me he was not without means. Yet he walked away from his daughter and never looked back.  What was his, story? It probable started with his parents.

The movie showed Norma Jean, Marilyn Monroe, looking for her father her entire life until her death. Parents do so much damage to kids. Norma Jean’s struggled in life even though she was the most successful movie star in history. They are still writing about her and talking about her 3 decades after her death.

She never knew her father and her mother was mentally ill and abused her, even tried to drown her. She struggled her entire life because of the shift she took over from messed up parents. She was the most beautiful woman, men all over the world wanted even Presidents, yet she had no value for herself.

Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

Lack of love in our childhood contribute to struggle

The fact that her father did not love her, she let men abuse her.  I am not a psychiatrist, but I would guess because she felt unlovable.  She had no self-worth. So, she made an impact on this world, but never found personal happiness in it. She lived her life to make men happy, make movie producers happy and everyone else.  When she started falling apart, they gave her drugs so she could continue making movies.

So, are you in a story of, struggle? Do you see yourself anywhere in Marilyn’s, story? I want to let you know that you were set in your situation by circumstances that happened before your birth, you are not to blame for your story.

Your birthday isn’t your start day it’s just the day when your shift started.

You have to fight someone else’s battle, that’s why generational curses are real. In my church whenever the pastor baptizes a baby, he cancels all generational curses.

Let’s say that your grandparents dabbled in witchcraft or even belonged to a Lodge, you inherited their sins and curses. It is up to you to repent for the sins of your forefathers and walk a straight and narrow path.  If you don’t repent for their sins the sins of the father and mother is passed on to the 3 and 4 generation.

You need to declare and decree that victory is going to happen on your shift. The buck stops here.

Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Samuel’s struggle in a barren temple

In the bible story of, Samuel, the prophet, God took, Samuel, from the barrenness of his mother’s womb to the barrenness of a temple to prepare him to become a prophet. Sometimes your, struggle, is preparing you for your purpose and destiny. Sometimes you have to wander in the wilderness until you get to the promised land.

So, how do you, rewrite your story, of, struggle, to one of abundance and flow? You have to shake things up, get out of your routine. When you are comfortable just existing, you don’t get revelation. Nothing happens when you are in your comfort zone, if you want to move the needle from, struggle, to flow, you have to get out of your, comfort zone.

That is the only way you will hear the voice of God when he calls you. In the darkness of the night God speaks. God shows up in your barren places and calls you by name.

When God called, Samuel, in the middle of the night, Samuel, didn’t recognize it was God because he had never spoken to him before. Learn to hear God’s voice by being in constant communication with him.

Conclusion to struggle

In conclusion, if you are in, struggle, at the moment understanding that you are just continuing the, story, that started before you were born is the way out. You need to change the, story, because then your children and your children’s children will continue the, struggle.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. Praying for flow and abundance for you. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

Your Pain Reveals Your Purpose

Why We Have Trust Issues in Relationships

Trust issues in relationships

Trust, is earned, trust, is central to every relationship and, trust, is about intention.  We have, trust issues, when we have fear of betrayal, or abandonment. This fear is often triggered as a result of past betrayal e.g. a spouse cheating on you.  Abandonment, e.g your parents left you with your grandparents and never came back.

In this episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna we look at 4 types of trust what they are and how you can cultivate them in your relationships to avoid, trust issues.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11474504-why-we-have-trust-issues-in-relationships.mp3?download=true

How to develop trust in relationships

There are 4 types of trust are Care, competence, consistency, and character.

Let’s dissect each of these

Care – When we care about your partner, we put our emotions in their hands, they care about what’s best for you and not what’s best for them. They care about your well being.  Examples of care are going beyond the call of duty to help you move, accompany you to a doctor’s appointment etc. We develop, trust issues, if when we need help, physical or emotional and no one is there to care for us.

A perfect example is if you have surgery and is totally dependent on your partner’s help for basic services like bathing, toilet or food and they abandon you. You would be scared for life and develop major, trust issues, in the future.

Goodpods Transform Your Mind podcast
Goodpods podcast

Competence – The second type of trust is, competence.  You trust that your partner is competent to handle financial matters. If you are sick, competence, to handle your care and make decisions that are best for you and not best for them. You, trust, their opinions and recommendations.

When you go into surgery that is life threatening, you will be asked to draw up a living will and a power of attorney. You need someone, competent, to handle not only the financial obligations but to talk to the doctors and make sure that you are receiving the best care.

Transform Your Mind podcast curiocaster podcast
curiocaster podcast

Trust issues and Character

Character – When we talk about, trust, we are usually talking about a high moral compass or the, character, of our partner. We look to these people when we are not sure what is right and follow their lead. These people practice what they preach and are valuable in interdependent relationships. They have good reputation, strong opinion, and down to earth advice. They are trustworthy.

In most cases, our romantic relationships suffer the most from our, trust issues, because of, character.  A person’s, character, prevent them from lying and cheating.  Since, intimate relationships, are based on honesty and openness a partner who has, character, builds trust. This, trust, is the glue that binds the relationship, providing a positive emotional connection that’s rooted in affection, love, and loyalty.

Consistency – Your partner shows, consistency, when they are reliable, and you know that they always have your back. They may not be the expert, but they are reliable, present and available when you need them. They have been with you through highs and lows.

Trust issues, can be a sign that someone has experienced a significant amount of trauma — but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t working through their past experiences and learning, consistency. Trust issues, in a relationship can be hard for both partners to overcome, but with adequate support and communication channels, people with, trust issues, can have healthy, successful connections with partners — that aren’t ruled by their past.

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

Trust that people come into your life for a reason

These are the four types of trust that make, relationships, flourish.

People come into your life for a reason a season or a lifetime

Some people come into your life for a season bringing change and excitement, but the relationship ends like all seasons do.

Another person might come in for a reason to help you learn and grow or to support you through a difficult time. It feels like they have been sent to guide you through.

And they are lifetime people they stand beside you through thick and thin loving you even when you have nothing to give them.

Love is a gift without any strings attached. Trust love.

Remember you are also a season, reason or lifetime partner to someone else and your role may not match theirs.

Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast
Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

Trust in Business relationships

Contractual trust, is useful in business.

Mutual trust, comes from a place of goodness.

Pure trust, is when you know that another person has your back.

You develop, trust, by asking for what you want.

Tell them how you want to be loved.

Communicate the areas Where there is dissatisfaction

Build trust by telling your partner what would make you feel loved Thanks for tuning into 5 mins with coach Myrna I want to invite you to join my private Facebook group called life coach so that you can be inspired all week long. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

Can You Handle Success Like Chris Rock

How To Conquer The 5 Most Common Causes of Failure

Five common causes of failure

Failure, leaves clues so a coach can recognize your, failure symptoms. Most of us run on auto pilot. Science shows that 95% of humans operate on a subconscious level, and only 5% of us are aware and conscious of our daily actions. One of the reasons coaching is so successful is that it allows you to “know thyself” a little better by revealing your, blind spots, or areas of, unconscious patterns, including why we fail.

Most of us are unable to clearly state our abilities. We overestimate them, we underestimate them, we become complacent; we allow them to decay. Occasionally we are unaware that they exist. It is important you recognize your, failure symptoms

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Here are the 5 most common causes of failure

1: The most common cause of, failure, is to, blame, others.  Don’t blame me, Victims, have no power, when you, blame, others for your, failure in life, you are saying that you have no power.

It is said that the difference between witchcraft and medicine is that when a man falls sick, witchcraft makes him ask ” who did this to me” medicine makes him ask “what did this to me”.

When we, blame, others for our, failures, we do not recognize that no one has the power to make us fail, you must accept responsibility for your part and learn from it.

Do you Blame Yourself?

2: The second cause of, failure, is the tendency to, blame oneself. We tell ourselves things like “why was I such a fool, what an easy mark I am, why do I always put my foot in my mouth etc.” For example, your marriage fails and you, blame yourself, for choosing the man in the first place. You, blame yourself, for not recognizing the red flags.

How to stop self blame:  – Instead of, blaming yourself, you should tell yourself that you did your best with the information you had at the time and that it takes 2 to make a marriage work. Blaming yourself plants deep feelings of inferiority and insecurity which will later strike up like weeds to dominate the garden of your mind. Excessive, self-blame, opens the door to guilt. Self-blame, also closes the door to, self-development.

How to set goals

3: The 3rd cause of, failure, has to do with, setting goals. Having no goals or having low goals. Dr William Menninger says “a fellow must know where he wants to go, if he is going to get anywhere.”

No goals are bad enough, but, low goals, are worse. Like, setting goals, to get the highest number on video games. That is an example of a, low goal.

Happiness is the pursuit of a goal or purpose, if you have, no goals, then you are a, failure.

How to set goals: choosing the wrong goal

4: The 4th common, cause of failure, is choosing the, wrong goal. Imagine that you have the, goal, to become a social worker, you graduated with your Bachelor’s Degree and your Master’s Degree and then worked for 20 years as a social worker; but you get to your 50’s and realize that what you really wanted to be was a politician and work for the citizens of your country to make policies than benefit all. After reaching the fifth nor 6th decade it is too late to turn back. That is why it is a good idea to understand your passions and listen to your heart early in life to determine the direction you should go.

Taking a short cut

5: The 5th, failure symptom, I want to leave you with today  – is taking a, short cut.

An electric current will follow the line of least resistance; but a bulb glows because there is resistance.

Taking the short cut, many of us choose the shortest, easiest quickest way to success, only to discover that success was illusory; the bulb did not glow. No conquest can be achieved without hard work– no conquest can give true pleasure if it has not required hard work.

My grandmother would say there are, no short cuts in life, when you take the path of lease resistant you usually find yourself at the wrong destination and have to start all over.

https://youtu.be/UDZvuXqZDQ0

Conclusion

These are the 5 most common, causes of failure, if you become conscious of them then you can recognize them when they show up and make a better choice.

  • Never blame anyone for your life, you are in control.
  • Do not blame yourself, we were not given a manual at birth, we do as best as we can with the information we have.
  • Goal setting – Happiness is working towards a goal, set goals and work towards them.
  • Check in with yourself thorough out your life to see if you are getting any fulfillment from your career, so you won’t get to your 50’s and find out that you chose the wrong path.
  • Finally, don’t take the, short cut, they rarely get you there faster.

Thanks for turning in to this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Additional Resources

5 Powerful Strategies to Achieve Any Goal

God Knows The Desires Of Your Heart

God know the desires of your heart

God knows the, desires of your heart, even the ones you don’t think will ever come through. This is illustrated in the bible story of the prophet Elisha and the wealthy Shunem woman.

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Be Kind and generous

A wealthy Shunem woman invited the prophet, Elisha, to her home one day for a meal. So, whenever he passed her way again, he would stop in to have something to eat.

One day the woman said to her husband, I am sure the man who stop in from time to time is a holy man, let’s build a small room for him on the roof and furnish it, so he will have a place to stay when he comes by.

When, Elisha, and his assistant came by the next time, he went up to his new room to rest. Appreciative of the woman’s kindness, he wanted to give her something in return. He said to her “We appreciate the kind concern you have shown us. What can we do for you?” She responded I don’t need anything, my family takes good care of me.

Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm
Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

We all need something even the things we don’t ask for

But, Elisha, figured there must be something she needs. So, he asked his servant what he thinks she needed. His servant said “She doesn’t have a son and her husband is an old man.”

Elisha, then told his servant to call the woman then he told her “Next year at this time you will be holding a son in your arms” She responded, please don’t get my hopes up.

Sure enough, the woman soon became pregnant and by that time the following year she had a son, just as, Elisha, had said.

What is the principle taught in this, bible story?  As you know the, Bible, is a blueprint for life.

First principle, is if you are blessed with wealth you should share with those who have less. You should, give to the poor, your church etc.

RadioPublic Transform your mind
RadioPublic Transform your mind

God knows the desires of your heart

The second principle and the one I want to focus on today is that God knows what you want. He knows the, desires of your heart, even the ones you don’t think will ever come through. The, desires, of this woman’s heart was to have a child, but her husband was old and she was probably old as well, so she didn’t think it was possible. She put it out of her mind.

The bible says in Psalm 37:4  “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the, desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:

When the man of God asked the Shunem woman what can I do for you she responded nothing. She had all the, money, she needed, but how many of you know that, money, does not fill the hole in your heart.

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

What are the desires of your heart?

  • Do you want to get married?
  • Do you want a child?
  • Do you want to own a home?
  • Do you want to see your child go to college but he/she have a learning disability?

Whatever it is, if you live right, give to the poor, God will give you the, desires of your heart. You don’t even have to ask him.

Several years ago, the, desires of my heart, was to become an American citizen. I did ask God, but decided to take matters into my own hands and made a mess of it. Then one day I walked onto a train and there standing at the door was my future husband. He loved me, married me and sponsored me and my kids to become American Citizens. So don’t think the, desires of your heart, are impossible – with God all things are possible.

So, ask, seek, knock and you will receive.

https://youtu.be/xBOA_tWqvAI

Conclusion

Whatever it is you are wanting, whatever you are asking Him for, God hears you. If he does not seem to be answering, do not give up. Everything will happen in his timing. God knows what is best for you and He hears the, desires of your heart. He will give you the, desires of your heart, when the time is right. Have patience and trust in the Lord.

The Shunammite woman’s heartfelt hospitality to, Elisha, and simple, sincere faith led to an amazing series of events. Elisha, was certainly blessed. And God abundantly blessed the woman’s life during a difficult period in Israel. Still today, God often uses His people’s humble acts of service to bless both the giver and the receiver.

Thanks for tuning in to this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources 

Look At The Heart Not Outward Appearance

You Must Give To Receive

You must give to receive

In order to receive you must first, give. This principle is taught in the Bible story of Elijah the prophet and the widow woman.  When you, give, you will always have enough and when you, give, God will also bring your dead things back to life.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11123529-you-must-give-to-receive.mp3?download=true

It Happened: Elijah and the widow woman

The Lord told, Elijah, the prophet to tell King Ahab, who did what was evil in the Lord’s sight more than any of the kings before him.  “There will be no dew or rain during the next few years until I give the word.”

Then the Lord said to, Elijah, “Go hide by a brook and eat what the ravens bring you, for I have commanded them to bring you food”

So, Elijah, did as the Lord told him, but after some time the brook dried up because there was no rainfall. The Lord then told, Elijah “Go and live in the village of Zarephath, I have instructed a, widow, there to feed you.

Again, Elijah, did as he was told and when he arrived at the city he saw a, widow, woman gathering sticks and he asked her. Would you please bring me a little water in a cup. Then he added and a bite of bread too.

Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

I only have a little flour just enough to make my last meal

The, widow, responded “I swear by the Lord I don’t have a single piece of bread in the house. I only have a handful of flour left in a jar and a little cooking oil in the bottom of the jug. I am about to cook my last meal and die.”

Elijah, responded go ahead and make the meal, but make a little bread for me first, for this is what the Lord said. There will always be flour and olive oil left in your containers until the time comes when the Lord sends rain and the crops grow again.

Sometime later the, widow, woman son dies and, Elijah, brought the boy back to life.

Podbay FM Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podbay FM

Give and God will multiply your seed

The secondary message I received from this story is God is great at multiplication, but you must have something for him to work with. The, widow, woman had a handful of flour and a little bit of oil left at the bottom of a jar and God used that to multiply so that she always had flour and oil. That means she always had something to eat.

Jesus used the 5 loafs and 2 fish to feed thousands. Again, God is great at multiplication.

The Feeding of the 5,000 is also known as the “miracle of the five loaves and two fish”; the Gospel of John reports that Jesus used five loaves and two fish supplied by a boy to feed a multitude.

What this tells me is that you must always have, seed. I recorded a message a couple of years back titled “Don’t eat your seed” if you eat your, seed, spend your, seed, God has nothing to work with.

If you want a harvest you must start with, seed.

Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Principles of giving and tithing

There has been a lot of talk recently about the, tithe,

Creflow Dollar said that the, tithe, was Old Testament and under the old law and Jesus is new law and the, tithe, is wrong. Every pastor in the entire Kingdom responded to this statement. The Bible said that the, tithe, belongs to the lord and we must, tithe, first.

Elijah, told the, widow woman, to make something to eat with the little flour and oil she had and, give, him something to eat first. How many of you would do that for a stranger? Maybe you would do that if your child is starving. A lot of mothers stay hungry so that their child would eat. But in order for the, widow woman, to get the blessing she had to, give, first.

You have to, give to receive. It works for anything you want. If you want financial abundance or even just to have enough you have to, give, to your church, to hospitals, to the poor, to any company offering human services like Goodwill and the Salvation Army.

If you want love you have to, give love, if you want respect you have to, give respect, and so on and so on.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

The tithe belongs to the Lord

The, tithe, is just God’s way of giving structure to your, giving. If you don’t want to, give, 10% nobody can make you. You have free will, but don’t expect God to bless you when you are like the, widow woman, just waiting to die. If you live stingy all your life never, giving, never blessing others, expect that you will dry up like a prune and always live in struggle and have empty jars. Empty jars don’t just mean money. Life is more than money. You need love, you need health, you need connection. So, start, giving, from your heart and watch the windows of heaven open and abundance flow in.

In closing always remember the principle You have to, give to receive.  Someone told me a long time ago, if your hands are closed not only you can’t give, but you also can’t receive.

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning in to this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach to receive inspiration throughout the week. I will meet you back her next week for another episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Additional Resources 

Look At The Heart Not Outward Appearance

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

The Devil Discourages Before He Destroys

The Devil is like a roaring lion

In 1 Peter 5:8, Peter gave a firm warning about the, devil: “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the, devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Peter says that, Satan, wants to devour and destroy you, just like a roaring and hungry lion.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11083290-the-devil-discourages-before-he-destroys.mp3?download=true

The Devil uses our negative emotions

If the, devil, can discourage you, then he can destroy you.  So, you have to guard your heart.  Don’t let, disappointment, enter in.  Disappointment, is also called, hopelessness, and what does the bible say about people without hope. They perish.

The other thing is, disappointment, usually leads to, depression, and then, anger, follows.

We can feel the, negative emotions, or we can try to block them by doing something.

We can avoid painful, emotions, by reading a book, shopping, cooking, eating, watching a movie, drinking, smoking, drugs etc.

But it is best to feel these, emotions, try to feel it in your body. Feel which part of your body is feeling the pain. Is it in your stomach, is it in your chest?

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Feel negative emotions in your body

Stop and feel, negative emotions, for at least one minute before you try to self-medicate.

Then ask the question what am I feeling?

Is it jealousy?

Is it rejection?

Most times, negative feelings, manifest as, depression. Depression, is a surface emotion that is linked to childhood, adolescent and sibling experience. A person depressed is like a boat on a sea that is being tossed about by every wave or wind that comes along.

Anger, normally accompanies, depression. Anger, is more than an emotion. It is the registration of more than one thousand energy fields. It happens when the world does not perform as we expect it to.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

How to deal with negative emotions

Whenever you feel, anger, jealousy, or, depression, try to feel the emotion for a few seconds before you react to it. The more often you apply consciousness to your, negative emotions, the less they will show up.

I want to point out that lack of self-worth is most often the root of all emotional pain. It does not matter how much you have achieved or accomplished; it has no correlation to the outside world. It is the experience of insecurity.

Your emotions are like street lights, they turn on in the dark. That is your dark thoughts.

This is the plot of the, devil; he wants you to believe all is hopeless that is why he, seeks and destroys. People who are depressed feel all is hopeless that is why depressed people commit suicide.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Discouragement takes out the heart

Discouragement, takes out the heart. So beat off, discouragement, and, depression, with everything you got. Try to replace those, negative feelings, with feelings of love and peace. For example, Think of the birth of your children, your happy moments, a beautiful scene you experienced etc. One of my favorite sayings is “good memories can save your life” from the movie the Punisher. I will share some of my happy places with you.

My husband and I were on a cruise and one night we sat and stared at the full moon for some time. We were in the middle of a dark ocean and the full moon was reflecting on the water. It was a beautiful and serene experience and I recall it often, because it made me feel connected to God.

My other scene I recall often was on my honeymoon. We went to a beach in the Bahamas. We were the only one on the beach, the water was rough and the winds were strong and I had the most amazing feelings of peace and tranquility. I could go on about my memories of the birth of my children but you get the picture.

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Conclusion

So, you see we all have memories to replace those, negative emotions. If you can’t remember your memories, take out your old albums. We are hard wired to only focus and remember the bad things someone said to us, the bad things someone did to us or what someone didn’t do that we expected them to do. That is why you are depressed and discouraged and let the, devil, in, so you must turn it around.

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I hope you were inspired to replace depressive thoughts and, negative emotions, with good memories.

Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

Have a Positive Mindset: Get Rid of Automatic Negative Thoughts

Listen To Your Heart It Reveals Your Purpose

Your Purpose Makes You Weep

One way to find your, purpose, is to notice what makes you, weep, or angry.  Because that is your, heart, responding to what’s on the outside that is linked to something on your inside.  For example, do you, weep, when you hear a child has been abused or a dog left outside in the heat without any water? Then maybe God wanted you to do something about this and that is why he pre-wired you to care.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11044600-listen-to-your-heart-it-reveals-your-purpose.mp3?download=true

Nehemiah wept for days

We see an example of this in the, bible story, of, Nehemiah. Nehemiah, asked his brother a simple question. “How are the, Jews, finding being back home after being in captivity”

Nehemiah, brother replied “Not good. They are in trouble and disgrace because the, walls of Jerusalem, have been torn down and the gates destroyed by fire.”

When, Nehemiah, heard this, he wept for days until he felt compelled to do something about it. At the time he was not a rich man, a man of influence, or had any other qualifications to rebuild a wall; he was the Kings cup bearer.  But that did not stop him from asking God to make the King favorable to his request to rebuild the, walls of Jerusalem.

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Nehemiah found his purpose

Nehemiah, had this immense calling to do something, it made him sad because he really didn’t think he could actually do anything about it.  Remember he was not rich; he did not have any influence or so he thought. While serving the king wine one day, the King noticed he was sad and asked him why.

Nehemiah, replied “I am sad because the city where my ancestors are buried is in ruins.” The king asked “How can I help you?” What a strange response from a King. This is because, Nehemiah, had already petitioned God to go before him and soften the, heart, of the king.

So, Nehemiah, responded “Send me to Judah to rebuild the city where my ancestors are buried.”

The King responded “How long will you be gone?”

Again no pushback, the King did not even ask, Nehemiah, how he plans on accomplishing this task. He just said just let me know how long you will be gone!

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Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

Stacey Abrams: A present day Nehemiah

How many of you felt angry or sad at things happening around you, but felt you could do nothing about it because you are a nobody without money or influence?  I have heard lots of present-day, Nehemiah, stories of men and women tackling huge issues and building a movement. The first one that comes to mind is, Stacey Abrams, in, Georgia.

Stacey did not win her groundbreaking 2018 campaign for governor, but she did not quit. She got right back to work because she understood that she didn’t need the title of governor to make a difference in the lives of Georgians.

But let’s unpack our Nehemiah story. The truly amazing thing about this story is that he completed the wall in 52 days. He, organized, what the enemy called poor feeble, Jews, to work together. Everybody did a little bit. I think today we call this, grassroots organizing, or, boots on the ground, and he did it without technology. No telephones, no internet!

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Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

How to Find Your Purpose

Why was he so successful, because it was his, purpose.  It was his, soul’s purpose, and that is why the, organizing, forces in the universe came together to make it happen. How did, Nehemiah, find his, purpose? He wept for days when he heard that his people were living in shame and his, heart, told him he should do something about it.

In a similar way, your, purpose, has a way of finding you.  It could jump off the page of a book you are reading, you could hear a term and like, Lifecoach, and know that is what you are supposed to do. Are you trying to find your, purpose in life? Reflect on what elicits emotion from you. Listen to your, heart.  It will direct you to your, purpose.

Nehemiah, built a wall, what can you build? Can you build a community center for the youths in your community, so they can get off the streets? Can you build a school in your village, so the kids can get an education? Can you build wells in third world countries, so that poor people can drink clean water?

Conclusion

Whatever is causing you pain, you can do something about it. You are, limitless, you only need the, desire; the, organizing, power of the universe will do the rest.

This is 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I hope that you are on, purpose, and if not,  you must learn to listen to your, heart, to find your, soul’s purpose. Join my Facebook group Lifecoach to be inspired throughout the week.

Additional Resources 

Your Pain Reveals Your Purpose

Look At The Heart Not Outward Appearance

look at the heart

The Lord said to Samuel “Don’t judge David by his appearance or height. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

In this episode of 5 min Fridays with Coach Myrna, I teach on why we should not judge our partners by their outward appearances, but by what’s in their heart.

Download the podcast here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11015176-look-at-the-heart-not-outward-appearance.mp3?download=true

Background story of why we should look into the heart

A blind girl hated everything and everyone except her boyfriend because he was the only one who was always there for her. When he asked her to marry him, she refused saying she could only marry a man if she could see his, eyes.

Sometime later someone gave her a pair of, eyes, and when she could see, she saw that her boyfriend was blind and his, eyes, were closed. She told him she couldn’t marry him because she couldn’t look at his closed, eyes, for the rest of her life. Her boyfriend went away with tears in his eyes.

Sometime later she received a letter from her boyfriend asking her to be careful with her, eyes, because they were once his!

So today I want to teach on how to look at the, heart, and not the covering.

True love comes from the heart

Let’s first define, true love. Is, true love, goose bumps, sexual attraction, chemistry, or is, true love, the willingness to give your partner what they need to be complete eg. your, eyes, if they can’t see?

Humans are always influenced by what they see. It is the first level of, attraction. What we see is linked to our, heart. I was watching the Tarzan movie the other day and when Tarzan met Jane, he started to sniff her private parts. Humans can’t go around doing that so we depend on our, eyes, to influence our, heart. That is why we spend hours every day tweaking our, appearance, so that we look our best.

But what about our insides?  How much time do you spend tweaking our insides so that we are the best version of ourselves?

Don’t judge the outward appearance: look at the heart

The Lord said to Samuel “Don’t judge, David, by his, appearance, or height. People judge by, outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the, heart.”

Personally, I have always liked my men tall, dark and slim built and when I met my husband, I almost rejected him because he is built like a linebacker and definitely not tall and slim, but I noticed his, heart, immediately and that is why I married him.

Ladies it is nice to have a picture in your mind of what you are looking for in a man, but don’t reject someone outside of your parameters without first looking into his, heart. His, open heart, is what will love you and be emotionally available to you. It will love your kids, provide and protect your family.

I remember Joel Osteen preaching on the subject years ago. He said that his sister had this image of the man she wanted to marry and it didn’t include a red-haired man, so when a red hair man came courting, she sent him away until she realized that this was the man God chose for her. She had to let go of her idea of what a  perfect man should look like and look at the, heart, of the man in front of her.

How a man treats others reveals his heart

They have now been married for over 20 years.  Ladies sometimes you get what you ordered, but most times you have to take what shows up. Look at how the man treats you, how he treats his mother, how he treats the waiter and his relationship with God and you will get a peek into his, soul.

And if you find one with a great, heart, but not the, outward appearance, that you prefer, please don’t throw him back in the pond, because some other woman will gladly fish him out!

How to Listen to your Heart

By choosing to follow or, listen your heart, you are gaining the strength that comes from all the love you’ve ever had. Once you feel it, that love can overcome your problems.

Understand that if you approach someone with an, open heart, he or she will feel it and will most likely return a similar energy to you. That’s how relationships are born, reaching out and touching another. It’s what we all want, and it is available to you by just being willing to, listen to your heart.

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I want to invite you to join my facebook group called Lifecoach to be inspired throughout the week.

Additional Resources 

A Giant Looks In The Mirror And Sees Nothing

Traits of a Virtuous Woman

traits of a virtuous woman

There are several stories in the bible about the, virtuous woman.  Proverbs say A, virtuous woman, who can find? For her price is worth more than rubies. Proverbs 12:4 says A, virtuous woman, is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

In this episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I look at traits of the, virtuous woman, and use as my foundational story the, bible story, of, Ruth and Naomi, and why, Boaz, called, Ruth, a, virtuous woman.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10963289-traits-of-a-virtuous-woman.mp3?download=true

Boaz and Ruth Bible Story

One of my favorite, Bible stories, is the story of, Ruth and Naomi.

The story is told that, Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law had huge losses. Her husband died as well as her two sons leaving her with no money. She said that the Lord made her life very bitter and caused her to suffer.

So, Naomi, decided to return home to Bethlehem in Judah because the Lord had blessed Judah with grain.

Naomi blessed her daughter in laws and sent them back home to their families but Ruth clung to her refusing to leave her

Naomi and Ruth, moved to Judah where Naomi told Ruth to go work in the fields of, Boaz, a very wealthy man. Boaz, noticed this strange woman working hard in the fields and enquired who she was. He was told that she was the young woman who came back with, Naomi.

Ruth the virtuous woman

Boaz, was impressed about what he heard about this, virtuous woman, and told his workers to treat her kindly and drop bundles of grain on purpose so she can pick up.

Ruth, worked throughout both the barley harvest and the wheat harvest then, Naomi, decided it was time for her to get a husband.

She gave, Ruth, instructions on what to do and, Ruth, did everything her mother-in-law told her to do. She bathed, put on her best dress applied perfume and lay at the feet of, Boaz. That was the submissive gesture. Boaz, woke up and accepted the offer blessing her for not going after a younger man.

The story ends with, Boaz, marrying, Ruth, and her son Obed was the grandfather of David.

Boaz, called Ruth a, virtuous woman

In this story Ruth was called a, virtuous woman, because:

  • She was loyal to her mother-in-law,
  • She was willing to work,
  • She was willing to leave her home and be a foreigner in another land and
  • She did everything her mother-in-law told her to do

What are the modern-day traits of a virtuous woman?

  • A, virtuous woman, cares for her family.
  • She is a hard worker.
  • While she toils faithfully in meeting the needs of her own family, she also doesn’t forget to help the other needy people God brings across her path.
  • She also takes the time to look after her own health and be a good steward of her body.
What’s the benefit of being a virtuous woman?

Aristotle, says that the, keys to happiness, is the practice of, virtue, because, virtue, is in accord with human reason. Aristotle, stated that we can reach minor states of happiness through money, power, or fame, but ultimate happiness can only be reached though the practice of, virtue.

A, virtuous woman, has character traits such as honesty, chastity, courage, and generosity. Virtue, theorists believe that if we concentrate on being righteous people, the right actions will follow; in other words, the people with the right character tend to make the right decisions.

What is the meaning of Virtuous:
  1. Morally good; acting in conformity to the moral law; practicing the moral duties, and abstaining from vice; as a, virtuous man.
  2. Being in conformity to the moral or divine law; as a virtuous action; a virtuous life.
    The mere performance of, virtuous, actions does not denominate an agent virtuous.
  3. Chaste; applied to women.
  4. Efficacious by inherent qualities;

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I hope to see you back here next week for another episode of 5 min Fridays until then Namaste

Additional Resources:

3 Ways To Let Your Inner Greatness Shine Through