Protecting your Child from, Sexual Abuse, in your Own Home

As mothers we must be vigilant and protect our children from predators; but most of us do not think we to protect them from, sexual abuse, from their own fathers. Maralee McLean share her story of her 12 year battle to protect her daughter.

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Welcome to the Transform Your Mind blog and podcast, I’m your host coach Myrna Young and today I am speaking with Maralee McLean. Maralee is going to be talking to us today about her experience with, sexual abuse, from a parent. This is a very personal story for Maralee and I applaud her braveness and her transparency.

I’ve spoken several times on the show and this blog, of my , sexual abuse, as a child. I wrote a book about my story “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” So what I hope to do today is help Maralee bring awareness to, sexual abuse, in the home by family members.

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This nightmare became real for Maralee McLean, and her book “Prosecuted but not Silenced” details it. The entire narrative of “protective mothers”, mothers who have to share custody of their children with dangerous, abusive men; defies belief. People with background knowledge of the plight of protective mothers will recognize many themes of Maralee’s story- Woman falls in love with a “nice guy” who turns violent, uses the divorce to unleash a previously unimaginable level of cruelty and violence, and a court system so blinded to this evil and to the needs of children, they facilitate it. But for those who still find Maralee’s story beyond belief, there is almost a hundred pages of appendices providing the actual documentation mentioned in the chapters of the book, as well as background on issue.

Out of the Snares of , sexual abuse

• This book deals with child, sexual abuse, It’s impossible to write a book about child, sexual abuse, without describing child, sexual abuse, there are some concrete and medical description of child, sexual abuse, Readers easily triggered by that should skip through those descriptions, but by no means should they not read the book.
• In some ways, this book is the strongest testimony to the mother-child bond I’ve ever read. It’s also a testimony to why that bond should not be broken capriciously, and why a system that does, cannot be tolerated. This book deals with how our society is willing to sacrifice children on an altar of egos and ideologies. And it illustrates why that must stop.

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There’s lots of these cases today of protective moms that can’t protect their children, so that’s one of the reason I’m telling this story. I had I’ve been married to a, Domestic Violence abuser, and I really got out of my marriage carefully. Before we got married there were no red flags or books out there to tell you about these kinds of men. I thought a woman had be physically abused for it to be domestic violence. I didn’t understand control and emotional abuse and psychological abuse. I suffered all those abuses. I tell young girls today, especially in college, if they see red flags, run because if they marry that guy and have a child with him, you’re in this for life because that child will be possibly abused. I not saying, sexual abuse, but abuse in other forms.

My red flags were that he would be a perfectly nice guy and then his eyes would change in an instant to scary evil looking eyes.

We were married for many years before I had a baby but once I divorced him, there was a lot going through the divorce in itself. I mean I was stalked, emotionally abused, some physical and psychological. He would write editorials to the newspaper about our divorce and they would print them and they not even true.

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When my daughter was a baby her father did not want anything to do with her but once she turns like around 2 years old, he started wanting to see have visitation. This one time on a visitation our two-year-old daughter was wearing this little pink dress, her long dark hair was in a ponytail, her little blue eyes that danced and every one on the street literally stopped me to talk to her and I say her sweet she looked. I dropped her off at her dad at 4 pm for a 3 hour visit. When I went to pick her up about 7:00 pm that evening, I knocked at the door and there was no answer. I thought well that’s weird. I knocked again, still no answer. Finally he comes to the door and I saw my daughter’s clothes are strewn all over the living room floor. He goes upstairs and brings her down the stairs. She was covered in sweat and limp in his arms. Her hair was matted to her head. I asked him what the heck happened to her, my gut pulled tight. He said she got sick. I said well that’s funny because she was fine a few hours ago. I got her clothes together got her dress and got her out of there fast; but I at that point I never would dream he would, sexually abuse, his daughter. I always thought he’d be the greatest father that was one of the reasons I’d married him. I never saw any indication of, sexual abuse, or anything like that in him before this. I thought well she just got sick at his place.

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Later within maybe three months or so after that incident, my little girl discloses, sexual abuse, to the daycare provider and to myself in detail. No child could possibly come up with that on her own. She was 2 and a half. I called my sister who was a nurse at Children’s Hospital and I asked her what to do. She told me to ask her again in the morning and see if she repeats it. Don’t mention her father’s name and then take her to her pediatrician, so that’s exactly what I did and she I repeated the same, sexual abuse, to me and to her pediatrician. The doctor notified social services and that’s when my nightmare began!

Social services set up supervised visits and he was the perfect father. Then one day I met The Guardian Ad litem, which is a lawyer for the child. I go into this room and they had other social workers there and the father and she interrogated me like nothing I’ve ever seen on TV. Why would your daughter continue to say, sexual abuse, if you weren’t coaching her?

I said have you talked to the babysitter who spent quality time with my little girl? She had been on the case for 3 months and she had not met the babysitter.

She said this is, parental alienation, I didn’t even know what, parental alienation, meant at the time. This is a term I’ll bring up later. She says this child going into foster care. She already had a foster care home lined up before she even talked to me. I am beyond belief. Her father and I are not even living together. They were going to put my baby into foster care and totally traumatize her. She’s never been away from me. I’m the sole caretaker. But I held it together, because I knew if I emotionally went nuts the would say I was not a fit mother.

After they took my baby, I lay my head on a desk and cried as if my soul was just ripped out of me. Then I drove a hundred miles an hour to Dr. Baker’s office. I walked in with my makeup all over my face. They just took my baby from me, you know the truth, fight for us.
It took me 12 years to get my baby back.
Click the link below to listen to the rest of this powerful story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7atnnDykwb0&t=405s

Additional Resources
https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-overcome-the-pain-domestic-violence-child-molestation/
https://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/313252392_Prosecuted_but_Not_Silenced_Courtroom_Reform_for_Sexually_Abused_Children_by_Maralee_McLean
https://stopabusecampaign.org/what-is-a-protective-mother/
https://stopabusecampaign.org/campaigns/custody-court-crisis/custody_court/parental-alienation-syndrome/

10 Ways Childhood Trauma Impacts our Ability to Love

Child sexual abuse - break the silence
The Legacy of, Childhood Trauma

10 ways that, childhood trauma, can sabotage your love life and relationships. Relationship Coach Riana Milne joins The Transform your Mind podcast to discuss, childhood trauma, and how it impacts our adult life. Riana is the best selling author of “Love Beyond your Dreams” and “From Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success.”

For anyone who have had trouble maintaining healthy relationships, listen to find out if your have any of the, childhood trauma, that can affect your love relationships.

How Childhood Trauma affects Adults
How Childhood Trauma affects Adults

IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:

How does, childhood trauma, impact adults in life and love?
Riana goes over ten, childhood traumas, and relate them back to how they show up in our lives as an adult.
To get the most out of this topic, Riana advise the listeners to Get a sheet of paper and make three columns.

The first column you put “ME”, the second column you put “Your partner” and the third column you put “Your parents” because research shows, childhood trauma, go through the generations.

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So here are the ten, childhood traumas:

As I speak them remember that when you were child you’re very young and innocent all you knew is what mom and dad modeled to you so there’s
nothing to feel guilt or shame about.
I don’t want people to say no it didn’t happen because they’re embarrassed or they feel shame around it.
If it is a fact, if it happened write it down.
It is like putting a puzzle together. Once you know what your, childhood trauma, is and then how it’s showing up as a for you as an adult.
As a coach, I can start putting the pieces together and everything starts making a whole lot of sense.

My favorite line is you can’t change what you don’t understand.

Childhood trauma, #1
1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there’s also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder,
spending or gambling, workaholic etc. There’s 11 addictive behaviors.

Childhood trauma, #2

2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and yelling at each other? This, Childhood trauma, is typical is yelling screaming but this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like “you’ll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.

Childhood trauma, #3

3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let’s say they came home from school at 3 o’clock and mom if they’re in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours.

There’s anxiety around that. So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we’re out trying to support our kids there home alone.

Childhood trauma, #4

4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – This, childhood trauma,  could have happened in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools we’re supposed to teach our child another way.

If you’re beating them or hitting them you’re teaching them to be violent back. We don’t want to do that.

Childhood trauma, #5

5. Abandonment – There’s two types, childhood trauma, from abandonment. Fault and No Fault abandonment.
Here are three examples, childhood trauma, from no-fault abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24

Here is an example of “Fault” abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.

Childhood trauma, #6

6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to live with relatives because mom or dad couldn’t take care of you, that even includes Grandma’s, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn’t want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn’t want to go home.

Childhood trauma, #7

7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky. Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.

 

Childhood trauma, #8

8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time. Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I’m worthwhile too.

Childhood trauma, #9

9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years. Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that’s all
family trauma and community trauma. Today we can also have, childhood trauma, if we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass shootings in our community.

https://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/

Childhood trauma, #10

10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities. We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma. Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or the repercussions.

I am unlike every other love coach, because I specialize in how the past has harmed you and what you’re attracting. We call it same person different face. The repetitive toxic relationships and this happens to my clients who are very successful
in business but they struggle in love. They can’t figure out why like I can get the career right,

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Riana is offering a FREE eBook
Get it here:
www.HavetheLoveYouDeserve.com

 

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There’s Nothing “Wrong” with You that Makes Dating So Hard! In Fact, 90% of People Have the Same Challenge when it comes to Love! (And They Don’t Even Know It Exists!)
Imagine attracting and having the Emotionally Healthy Love Relationship you’ve always wanted – and the life you are passionate about! It’s possible and I’ll show you what you’ve been doing “wrong”. (And it’s not what you think!)

It’s time to get the FACTS and learn EXACTLY what is going on, and How to Fix It!

Additional Resources:

https://blog.myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-surviving-mothers-abandonment/

4 Ways a Traumatic Childhood Affects Adult Relationships

What happens to us as children can affect the attachment style we carry into our adult relationships. Childhood Trauma, hugely influences attachment. Often people who grew up in happy, healthy, and stable homes where caregivers were emotionally available and responsive to their needs have a secure attachment style. These people don’t push partners away or cling too tightly. While they may have troubles in their relationships, an unhealthy attachment style isn’t the cause.

The Long Shadow of Childhood Trauma

A new study suggests that stress experienced early in life damages the ability to assess risk, creating young adults with poor decision-making skills.

How to Use the Law of Attraction for Couples

How can the, Law of Attraction for couples, help you to thrive at home and at work? NYT best selling author Christy Whitman talks about thriving in your relationships this week  on the Transform your Mind with Coach Myrna” podcast.

Christy is the author of “Quantum Success 7 essential laws, for a thriving joyful and prosperous relationship with your work and money”

Life coach Myrna Young interviews Christy on her, personal development, life coaching podcast.  I am speaking  to 2 Times New York Bestselling author Ms Christy Whitman. Christy is also the author of “The Art of having It All”, Perfect Pictures, and Taming your Alpha Bitch and she has a new book that’s coming out in September that’s called, “Quantum Success, 7 essential laws, for a thriving joyful and prosperous relationship with your work and money”

Law of Attraction Thriving Introduction

I am so excited to be talking again to Christy. This is our second in a series of 3. Our topic today is coming directly from Christie’s new book.

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Christie Whitman is a Transformational Leader, Celebrity coach, New York Times bestselling author twice, one for “The Art of Having it All” and the second for “Taming your Alpha Bitch” I love that title! Christy has appeared on The Today Show, the Morning Show, and her works have been featured in People’s magazine, Seventeen, Women’s Day, Hollywood Life, and Teen Vogue among others.

Christie is the CEO and founder of the Quantum Success Learning Academy and Quantum Success Coaching Academy a 12-month, Law of Attraction, coaching certificate program. Christie has helped thousands of people through her empowerment seminars, speeches and coaching sessions, and products.

Christi’s life-changing message reached over 200,000 people a month, and her work has been promoted by and featured with esteem authors and luminaries such as Marianne Williamson, Dr. Dwayne Dwyer, Marci Shimoff, Brian Tracy, Neil Donald Walsh, Abram Hicks, and Louise Hay. She currently lives in Arizona with her husband Frederic and there are two boys Alexander and Maxim.

Christy’s Journey as a Law of Attraction for Couples Coach

Myrna – That’s was a very impressive Bio. I loved reading it. As a, life coaching podcast, I am always interested in my listeners learning life skills from my guests stories. You’ve done a lot, you’re quite accomplished. Can you give us a little bit of your backstory? Tell us your journey to becoming a successful, Law of Attraction for couples, leader and, quantum success, coach .

Christy – Sure, I always had the drive to be successful, and worked with the, law of attraction, back in day about 20 years ago, before I found the other universal laws, I did what it took to take action. I had perseverance. I went after the things that I wanted. I was able to focus, using the, law of attraction for couples, but whenever I got there, I never felt satisfied.

Using the Law of Attraction for Couples to Bring you Happiness

I never felt happy, never felt like it was enough. So no matter what I accomplished, it just didn’t good. When I actually accomplished something great, it actually would feel the opposite. I remember almost feeling let down, like okay well I was supposed to have this epiphany. I was supposed to have this, amazing feeling. I would never find that feeling of satisfaction.

When I learned more about, the law of attraction for couples, about 21 years ago, I really learned about how your thoughts create your reality. I had already been successful and I had a great career going. I was making money and yet, just wasn’t satisfied. I just felt like all the things that I was told would make me happy it wasn’t working and I was starting to think like what’s wrong with me.

I thought if I had money, if I had the career, if I had a boyfriend, if I had this great body, look a certain way, then I would be happy, and none of the outer things were doing it for me. It was when I found a sense of myself, through meditation on the, law of attraction for couples, and through really returning to myself, stopped focusing outward on everything and everyone outside of me, a healthy selfish me.

I found I was coming back to myself. I started paying attention to the thoughts that I was thinking, that was activating, the law of attraction for couples, and how I was feeling and what I really came to understand, what my body of work really has been now, is that I have to be very mindful of that no matter what situation we’re in, we can always find peace.

How to Have it All using the, Law of Attraction

How the Law of Polarity interacts with the Law of Attraction

The law of Polarity, there’s a lot of things to appreciate and be grateful for. That’s what my bodywork has been. My whole training for last 21 years has been really sensing within myself where I am. Thinking thoughts of lack and limitation, where I comparing myself to other people. I look at other people and go oh my GOD, there’s so much more successful than me and then start feeling bad about myself and feeling like what I’ve accomplished is not enough.

Or do I compare myself to what other people are making? Or what impacts are my thought having? Those are times to check myself, look for what’s right and good about my life and about my family and everything in my life versus what’s wrong and bad.

These are a different training and a different mindset to come from a perspective of abundance instead of lack and limitation, and that’s really where my internal work has been. Each time I shift up belief, a thought, a perspective from lack and limitation to one of abundance, my life just expands and explodes.

So those are the principles that I write about in my new book, Quantum Success, is that we’re all searching for some type of success, and the accolades. You know what society says is this is accomplished, then you’ll feel successful and a lot of people get there, and they feel empty, they feel like that it doesn’t have much meaning in their lives or they’re not feeling satisfied or fulfilled.

The truth is that as long as we’re chasing things outside of ourselves we’re always projecting our happiness or our fulfillment outside of ourselves. Fulfillment is never outside of ourselves, it’s within ourselves and it’s in the present moment. where all of our power exists.

How does The Law of Attraction for Couples Help in Relationships

Myrna – My first question is How does understanding your belief system help women and men who are functioning at high levels in their career or own their own business, but they’re still struggling to find contentment or happiness? How does understanding the, law of attraction for couples, help? How does understanding, quantum success, principles help in relationships?

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Christy – Our beliefs are one of the ways that we create. I mean when you think about it, when we have a belief and there is such a conviction that this is so, that this is the way it is, we will create that’s what we are expecting to receive. It’s what we are expecting life to give us. We can’t create outside of our beliefs. If we believe that something good is going to happen, we then create something good.

There’s an underlying belief that what we are creating we the deserve. We’re not deserving or whatever it is; but we are always creating attracting things from the beliefs that we hold and here’s the good news. If we look at our lives and we’re not satisfied, we need to shift what we’re not satisfied about. Look at what the contrast is in our life, what we don’t want and allow that to be the springboard for what we do want.

I always ask myself when I’m finding a situation or circumstance happening in my life, I always ask myself what would I have to believe in order to create this? How does understanding the, law of attraction, facilitate my knowledge?

How Journaling helps Relationships

It’s an empowering question. I recommend even journaling about it because a lot of times if you sit there and if you haven’t done this practice before, you will not come up with an answer. I would take 10 mins with paper and I would journal. In order to create this situation what would I have to believe? What would I have to think? What would I have to be feeling in order to attract this?

You become more self-aware. I mean it’s really the process of self-awareness and when we can slow down enough to pay attention to ourselves, that is the richest thing that we can do. Not only are we connecting with ourselves, which most of us don’t do these days we’re so busy with so much going on our lives, we need to take the time to slow down and connect with our own self, to know ourselves, to know what you believe about this and that. Beliefs are not either right or wrong. This is a, life coaching podcast, so I will answer with life coaching tips.

Law of Attraction

I love when you said that most people are not conscious. As a Guyanese, I want this to also be a, Guyana podcast, Most people including Guyanese people, do not understand the, law of attraction, You use the word self-awareness which is another term for consciousness. I’ve spent a lot of time with that word in meditation and being aware. I live in higher consciousness, personal development, yet at my level right now, I will not be able to look at a situation and figure out how I created it.

I’m not there yet, but I’m in the less than 1% of the world that actually are working on self-awareness, consciousness and, personal development, As a, life coaching podcast, I teach my clients basically that whatever they want, they can create. It starts with their thoughts and starts with their belief system. You and I are both, personal development, coaches and one of the first things I do in my coaching sessions, the first couple of weeks is basically we talk about beliefs and we look back at past behaviors. You can actually figure out what you believe from how you have navigated situations in your past.

The Law of Attraction for Couples and the Universal Laws

What exactly is the, Law of Attraction, and why is it important to know the universal laws and, quantum success? The, Law of Attraction for couples, for me when I learned about it completely changed my life and the reason that they completely changed my life or that my life completely changed is because they’re for me like knowing the rules of the game or knowing the recipe to a really good cake or you know the plans to build a house.

I always say how successful would you be if you were going to go play baseball and you never saw the game before? You never knew how it was played? You don’t know what the rules are. Someone hands you a bat and says okay hit the ball. You can’t play the game if you don’t understand the rules of the game. What to do when you hit the ball? How can you get thrown out etc.

Life is similar, you have to learn the rules of the game, you have to learn the playbook. The first step is about learning these, essential universal laws and the, law of attraction, and applying them so that you become the deliberate creator of your life instead of being a victim of circumstances. There’s always going to be some kind of circumstance or situation or event or person that shapes our experiences.

It’s what we do with those experiences the perspectives that we hold, that will determine what we continue to attract in our lives. So the more you learn about these, essential laws of the universe and, the law of attraction. Knowing these universal laws is knowing the rules of the game.

The Seven Universal Laws

I try to make myself a million dollars by working with the, law of attraction, and the seven essential universal laws. We live in a vibratory universe, our universe is all about vibration. Modern science and quantum physics have now proven that everything from a human being to a rock is full of energy. Everything is energy, our thoughts our feelings, what we say, what we do, everything is coming out of us like an energy tower and we as an individual person are sending out energy signals all day every day.

The, Law of Attraction, is just matching those signals that we send out, and giving us more of the same. Now it’s not a tit-for-tat kind of thing, it’s not like oh I told someone they were a jerk and now someone’s going to call me on a jerk. It’s not like that literal, but if you’re sending out negative vibes you could be in traffic and someone could cut you off and you’re experiencing road rage, that negativity for example that wave of negativity will then cast out a returning wave of negativity to you.

So we have to be mindful about the energy that we are sending out. The thoughts that we think, the language we use. We don’t feel good when we’re sending bad vibes out, so using feelings helps makes for better choices.

For example, language like I choose not to put up with this marriage anymore. I choose not to be treated like that anymore. I choose not to waste my money or spend my money on this right now. Those are more empowering ways and languages that we can use that actually do make a difference in what we attract. The, Law of Attraction for couples, is really a mirror reflection. I like to think of it as a boomerang, it’s like what you’re sending out it’s coming back to you.

Law of Sufficiency and Abundance 

The most important law from the seven essential laws of the universe, I believe is the, Law of Sufficiency and Abundance. This law states that everything in the universe is abundant. Most of us are experiencing abundance of lack or pain or suffering, but the universe is always going to give us an abundance.

If you look at nature and look at trees you can’t say we can’t possibly count the amount of leaves that are on a tree or how many waves crash up again against the shore in the ocean, or count the raindrops that are coming down from the sky. The universe has always functioned in abundance, and to get what you want from the law is called sufficiency and abundance, it’s being in a satisfied place.

It’s coming from sufficiency. You get there by appreciating and looking for the good. In your life right now, in any situation, I don’t care what it is you can find the good things about it. The law of Polarity says that every subject is really two subjects, it’s the halving of it, or the not having of it. It’s the lack of it or the abundance of it, and when we can deliberately choose how we want to focus, what we want to believe, what we want to appreciate, or not.

How Gratitude engages the Law of Attraction for Couples

Were the ones in charge of which area, what side of the spectrum, we want to be on any given subject, but the doorway into abundance is sufficiency. You start by practicing gratitude. I first started doing gratitude meditation, I would literally walk around and think of a hundred things a day, listing all of the things that I was grateful for and that would raise my vibration, it would make me feel so good and things started, almost like magic, would start being attracted into my life.

Another thing you can do is think about one thing you’re grateful for and think of 20 things or reasons why and it’s not lip service, it’s not like I’m grateful for my husband and I’m grateful my kids, there’s no energy behind that, there’s no pain, you have to feel the emotion. Doesn’t work unless you feel. That’s why affirmations work for some people, and they don’t work for other people because people are like I’m abundant, but there’s no energy.

The other Universal Laws

These are seven essential laws of The Universe:
• The Law of Attraction,
• The Law of Allowing,
• The Law of Pure Potentiality ,
The law of Oneness,
• The Law of Balance and Harmony,
• The Law of Sufficiency and Abundance,

These universal laws, when you apply them and learn how to work with them, they will absolutely change your life.

The Universe sends human beings countless signs and symbols over the course of their lives, and if you are able to comprehend them, you’ll be able to sense when you’re on your destined path in life—and when you’re not. Please read the list below to make sure you haven’t missed any vital info, and to ensure that you’re on the right journey.

Here are 13 signs The, Law of Attraction, is working for you
https://ewao.com/2017/10/24/13-signs-the-law-of-attraction-is-working-for-you/
I love the Law of Sufficiency and Abundance. Deepak Chopra used to say we are just like a wave in the ocean, that the universe is abundant. We’re not going to run out of water, we’re not going to run out of grass, sunlight. I’ve used this Law, let’s say that you want a promotion and your friend gets it.

You’re jealous and you’re envious, that is a blockage because it means that you believe that is universe does not have enough for the both of you. if you say I’m happy for my friend, because this world is abundant and she’s not taking my job, there’s more available for me, and you’re happy and you celebrate that person’s success, what that’s saying is that you believe that the world is abundant.

You believe that whatever God can do for her, he is going to do for you, and that’s where a lot of people don’t get it. They’re always envious and they’re always catty and they’re jealous and they can’t celebrate your success. Abraham talks about this. She talks about contrast, she says go out there and look for contrast, look for things that you don’t have and say that’s what I want and be happy for that person. But most people don’t live there. The do not understand the, the essential laws of attraction.

We’ve been talking about the, law of attraction, the playbook, personal development, quantum success, and making this a Guyana podcast, for my people.

Be aware of fear and desire. Awareness helps balance them ~ Deepak Chopra

To get a FREE copy of Christy’s book, Head over to iTunes snd leave a review for the Transform Your Mind with coach Myrna podcast, then head over to www.quantumsuccessbook.com and Kristy will send you her new book when it comes out in September for free. All you do is pay for shipping. Kristy will be back for one more episode.

Our topic will be “How to reverse the negative momentum in your career.” So remember to subscribe and you will not miss any new episodes. If you are from Guyana, I hope you enjoyed this, Law of Attraction podcast, leave me a shout out in the comments.

Additional Resources

Using the Law of Attraction to Have it All

How to Find Love, the Second Time Around

How to find the right man, second time around

“How to Find love, second time around,” Transform Your Mind podcast
Do you feel the need to do more with your life? Are limiting beliefs holding you
back from true success? Enjoy a unique blend of interviews discussions and
transformation coaching on every podcast. Get the tools for success in every podcast.

Today my guest is Ms Patricia Fuqua. Patricia is a
best-selling author, award-winning motivational speaker, and relationship
expert, specializing in, second time around, today we’re going be talking on
the topic “How to find your diamond the, second time around,” I am
going to enjoy talking to you because I’ve been around more than twice!

Before we get into our show today, I want to tell you about
a contest that I’m having for the next four weeks. This contest is a perfect
fit with topic and our guest today because you have the opportunity to win a VIP annual subscription to Mix_Amore the newest
hottest dating app as seen on Shark Tank. This one a year FREE membership includes video instant messenger, HotList chat advantages, and no advertisements.
To enter post your review to the Transform your Mind with Coach Myrna iTunes podcast and then
email info@myhelps.us with the subject line “podcast review” and you will
be entered to win a VIP annual subscription to the mix amore dating app
valued at $74.99.

Let me tell you more about my guest Ms Patricia Fuqua. Patricia is the founder
of Dating Diamonds, a service that empowers women to meet the right man the
second time around. She is the creator of the “First Date the Soulmate Program” and since she has helped over 500 women meet the right man by designing a
personalized plan. She helps them implement that plan. She’s polished the art of
relationship in her 40 year marriage to her soulmate husband. Her strategy
benefits men too, after all the more knowledge you have the more you can
thrive. Her clients can be found in major cities including Sydney, Washington DC,
Sacramento and San Francisco. She mentors women to use the story of their lives to create the relationship they choose the second time around.
Patricia has her master’s degree in American literature and an adult IDI
credential from San Francisco State University.
She holds coaching credentials from the Academy of Excellence and the
Windless Institute. She is a certified matchmaker with the matchmaker Institute and, second time around, coach.

Patricia also produced and hosted the TV show called the Patricia Fuqua show, a
platform for using intuitive and spiritual practices as guides for better
relationships.

Well Patricia that is a very excellent Bio, it covers a lot of territory.
I always like to start off my show asking my guests of their journey to this point in their career. Can you talk about your journey to becoming a relationship expert and author specializing in the second time around? I know that you’ve been married for years and I need to say congratulations right off the top because that is quite
an accomplishment; but how did you transcend your own relationship to
becoming a coach?

Well, now I’ve honed and polished my communication skills; but it wasn’t
always this way. There was a time in my marriage when I
was depressed because I was juggling career and the needs of young children
and my husband. I got really depressed because I was
really feeling sorry for myself and then I got mad went into
this deep funk. It wasn’t until I discovered that I had the choice to be
happy or to be sad that I started to turn myself around. It wasn’t my husband
it wasn’t my children, it wasn’t my job, it wasn’t my life. It was the way I was
looking at it so, when I discovered that I could be happy as a choice as well as
being sad, I started to reach for
better feeling thoughts, finding something good about everything and
anytime somebody made me upset or I felt overwhelmed. I said okay so what’s the
silver lining here? I started to get answers and so as I
discovered the power of choosing how I was going to feel about any situation or
any person or relationship I said to myself this I have to share with the
rest of the women in my life, because we could be so much happier if we only knew we could just choose to do it. I have the technique to show them so that’s when I became inspired to start coaching women because I love happy
people. I just love being around happy people and helping them
learn to be happy. Helping them to have more love in their lives.
I always been a spiritual person studying spiritual practices, some people would
say religion, and always I wanted to be in alignment with source, some people
would say God, Universe, Higher Intelligence. There are many names
for that creator and so as a result that’s how I started coaching. I started
saying well this is what I’ve learned about being happy and in love, so I’m
wanting to share this with you and we can personalize it for you so that you
too can have more love and happiness in your life. And that one day that I
had this record-breaking seminar for women, it was just like they were
lined up around the table and down the aisles waiting to speak to me. I
was just giving them these nuggets of wisdoms and, second time around, nuggets that I had come to from my
reading from my study and they were walking away happy, so it was a great day.
It was it’s one of those peak experiences.

Wow that is awesome and you know a lot of people would go through that process and keep it all to
themselves, so it’s absolutely great that
you through that process realized that everything is better when you share.
That’s an overstatement, everything is better when you share. God gives
you a testimony, so that you can share and you can encourage and it’s really
profound that you had this really record-breaking experience of everybody
wanted a piece because you’ve hit on something.
Happiness is a rare quality, even when you’ve got all you want
somehow a lot of people are still not happy and you know it’s really
interesting; but I did an interview on this show with a monk
called Swami G about 2 years and this morning Facebook shared the memory.
I reposted, he was saying that happiness doesn’t come from external
Sources, just like you have figured out it comes from inside and that’s why you
know the Buddhist monks talk about enlightenment, because when you’re
enlightened you know suffering and unhappiness doesn’t come to you.
I woke up this morning with some heavy things going on in my
life and my children, and when I posted it. I said, I wish that
I myself can tap into that field today. I was meditating this morning from very early in the morning and it just didn’t
work because my mind was too busy. So, if you have
gems that help people, that is why they’re lined up because it’s something that you know we all require at some point in time. We don’t have to be depressed but some days just knock you down. Good story so I’m glad that you
were able to bottle your experiences to help others to
to get there as well. You touched on something as well about you being
very spiritual and connected to source. So my second question is how can other
women use intuitive and spiritual practices as a guide for better relationships?

Let’s just add happiness on to that.
That’s the exciting part of my practice because when I’m sharing with women the seven principles that are in the book, Second Time Around,
meditation is number one and I’m glad that you’re a meditator because even
when we feel that, oh my God my mind is so busy it didn’t make a difference, it
does make a difference because you’re quieting your mind,
and it can give you a different perspective on a situation. I’ve
learned over time that women need to or benefit from having a different
perspective on the situation, or relationship, and dating and love and
happiness because we can as a group, are very sensitive and emotional. Some
more than others, and when we can tap into that place where we’re feeling not
as positive as we could and start to look at least one positive thing
about a situation, you recognize what they’re feeling and to shift. It’s kind of
like this morning you said you woke up with heavy feelings and the meditation
didn’t feel like it was making a difference, however if it ever entered
your mind that oh well this is something I could be thankful for in this
situation, that is going to raise your emotional tone.
We get stronger at managing our feelings and eventually we get to the place where
we can move more quickly up this emotional scale to happiness or at least
optimism, and after meditation if you say to yourself oh well it wasn’t
quite as bad as I thought because B and C is in place, you move up the scale.

You are correct, this morning I didn’t come up with
any positives, but I came up with some guidance and that’s basically what
happens when you quiet your mind right the Universe, God, your
Higher self gives you some guidance and some next steps.

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Some of the other principles have to do with just mining. Like gold mining your own story to figure out
what you really want to experience in relationship. Some women want to feel
pampered and protected and privileged, and you know what is it each woman needs is to discover or to remind herself what she really wants to experience in relationship. Some women are very conventional and they like the idea of
having a man play a man’s role, do the man things in in the conventional
sense, manage the house, take out the garbage,
that sort of thing. Other women want somebody to plan their
fun, so what is it that helps you feel the way you want to feel in
relationship, that you would like that other person to be doing?
That’s one of the key principles, there are seven total principles we don’t have
time to go into them all now. Meditation to manage your own
thoughts and feelings.

Awesome, alright so again we’re
touching on mindsets a little bit, so this is an interesting question for me to ask you because we’re specifically talking here about the, second time around. Women who has been divorced, the woman is maybe in a
committed relationship, maybe not necessarily married; but they’re
starting over again and your mindset is very crucial because your mindset can
actually keep you from making this a positive experience.
So what mindset do you coach your women and men then that they have to develop when they’re in the second time around?

I have the attitude that there is a lid for every pot.
That’s an old southern expression that means all they have to do is be very clear on the vision of what they want to experience and they will meet that person.
So those mindsets have to be in the present. If we’re going to develop a relationship a, second time around, that is satisfying and that can last. Having a lid and every pot means that
there’s a match for you somewhere, and if you have a clear vision on
the match you know as a coach as well any coaching whether it’s for whatever
you want just have a clear vision of it and that’s the way you attract it to you.
I was thinking that is the most important mindset that they have to develop is that they have release the baggage of the last relationship. How do you feel about that?

It’s important to be aware of the baggage of the last
relationship because it can be like a weight around your ankles pulling you
down and away from what you want. It’s also important to be able to shift
that attitude that you might have developed, that feeling about
relationship or about the opposite gender that you had. The awareness the
self-awareness of knowing what that attitude is that’s blocking you will
allow you to come up with an alternative, so that you can do the things, say the
things that will help you attract that clear vision that you have. That’s the
lid for your pot so to speak.

okay like I said in the beginning of the podcasts, I’ve been around
the block several times myself and what I have found. To clarify I have been married
like four times, what I have found is that a lot of times the baggage is
you come out of a relationship and there is a negative experience you make sure
that there’s not that a negative experience is not in your next partner;
but a lot of times you find something else right, so how do you coach women
around “hey I don’t want to have a guy like that again kind of scenario?

second time Love

love-sweeter-second-time-sweet-photos-eula-valdez-rocky-salumbides.html#73456

I understand what you’re saying and the
Law of our Universe, some people call it the Law of Attraction but the way it’s
set up is that it wants us to be happy that law is God in action or the
Universe in action or the Creator in action. We are put here to have fun
that’s the point in the studies that I have had
and so when we focus on what we really want the universe hears.
The trick becomes being able to manage your feelings and
your thoughts and your attitudes so that you’re focusing on what you really want
it doesn’t understand anything except for what you spend the most time
thinking about, so if you’re spending most of your time thinking about oh my
God that was the worst relationship ever, I never want to see a guy like that again! Well, that’s what you’re going to get more of or some variation, because you’re
spending so much time on it and that’s what a Universe is answering.

That is the perfect answer because, yes that is exactly what happens.
That’s why a lot of women go in relationships that are
almost the same because they keep attracting the same kind of man or the
same kind of relationship because they’re saying well this is this is what
I don’t want. Let’s take an example of a cheater, this is what I don’t want or
even an abusive relationship, and then you are cycling through those all the
time because they tell the universe what they don’t want and that is exactly what
shows up. I like what you said, whatever you spend time thinking about
whether it’s what you don’t want or what you do want then that’s what’s going to
show up. Excellent answer.

Patricia, who would you say is your ideal client?

My ideal client is a woman of experience and substance who has had more than one relationship, I used, second time around, because that’s a very familiar expression; but she usually has raised her children, she’s launched them
into college or into the work world and she’s comfortable in her career and in a single mom. All these years I’ve been raising the kids I’ve been taking care of other people. I have a great social life; but where is my special partner? I like this woman. I prefer this as the ideal client although men in the situation my teachings work as well; because they have had enough variety and experience they know what they want through conversation and we can plan how
their strategy is going to roll out and make it happen. I shouldn’t say
make it happen but we can work with my spiritual principles so that they’re very clear on what they want, they know how to manage their mindset, they know what they would prefer to experience, they’re open to using these practices. Example: One of my clients was sitting at an
outside cafe in my little town here of Menlo Park one afternoon with her
college son who was home for the holiday and a man saw her at this outside café,
parked his car came over to meet her. She had been trained by me who
had the strategy of being approachable, she looked radiantly beautiful; because I
said honey anytime you go out you have got to look good. People are attracted by
the visual. She was in line with that and so he came
over sat down next to her as if he were her best friend they started chatting
well as her calm was being the hostess and making him
feel comfortable; because she found out right away that he was her type of
guy. At the end of that short conversation, he passed his telephone
number to her on a napkin and said if you want to continue this just give me a
call, that was six years ago. They’re still together.
It’s about being clear, always being ready so you don’t have to
get ready and being ready for who comes into your world; so that you can check
them out and decide if you want to get to know them better.

I love the last tagline. I think Will Smith says that best he says you
should always be ready cause if you’re ready, you ain’t got to get ready.
All right now let’s get a little personal and transparent. I know
you’ve been happily married for over forty years
you talked in your BIO in your journey or your history that
there was a period of time when you were depressed, because you’re doing so much, and your happiness came after you decided that you had
a choice and it was not your husband or your kids job to make
you happy. I absolutely love that. I know this personally
because that’s the reason I’m finally happy. After
running around and trying to find happiness by having other people give it
to me, the reason I’m happy in my relationship
is because I meditate and I do me. I don’t depend on anyone
else to be to make me happy. I make myself happy; but I saw this in
print the other day when Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck had left her. He
cheated on her with the nanny and I think she was having an interview and
she said point blank that it was not Ben’s job to make sure that she was
happy. I’m sure a lot of people that are not in our space
wouldn’t understand that; but I absolutely loved it.
So what would you say is the reason for your marital success?

Well marital success means also that there’s a the dark side of it that there
are some times that are not successful and after years there have been times
where I haven’t been successful at being happily married and so now that I am
happily married, that I’ve gone through some things so the idea here is
every situation that has conflict in it, I have learned to ask
myself what would you prefer here Patricia? And when I get the answer to
that then I can get busy, I can start conversations. In the book, I’m leading
women to go from “first date to soul mate” with these principles and it doesn’t
stop once you meet and develop the relationship with your soulmate, the
conversations and the communication has to continue through the inevitable
conflicts that happen between two people in an intimate personal relationship. So
as a result I’ve learned to use that very powerful question
“What would you prefer here Patricia?” That tells me that I
need to start doing my practices and asking that question.
What is it you want the man to do? What it is you
want the woman to do? We don’t communicate what we want we just fight about it because we’re expecting to be mind reader’s.

As we wrap up our show today, Patricia how can our readers and listeners get in touch with you and get a copy of your book, second time around?

I would love to chat with people or let them know a link for the book and so I would ask people to just email me Patricia@datingdiamonds.com Put in the subject line “chat” or “Book” and I’ll send
you a copy of the book
which will go into some of the seven principles that I talked about.

Remember to subscribe to the Transform Your Mind podcast on iTunes
and leave a review. Much appreciated.

Also listen on Google Play

How Can Millennials Find Their Purpose

As, Millennials, deal with, adulting, they ask themselves, What is my purpose? What is the reason for my existence?

Today on the “Transform your Mind with Coach Myrna Podcast”, I interview the Author of “The, Millennial’s, Playbook to Adulting”, Arika L. Pierce

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Steps to Adulting

  • The first step is to find your passion. This is where you find that you can be in it all day long and you don’t feel tired and you don’t feel bored and you’re just illuminated and just joyful and and it’s a great way to live your life. You know when you live a passionless life just because you’re making money does not mean that you are living with passion.

Let me share a personal story. My daughter Keshia Morris Desir always felt that she was supposed to be a Psychologist, getting her degree and everything. Along that journey she read Nelson’s Mandela’s book “A long walk to freedom” and decided that she needed to become a political advocate and she just switched right away. She applied and got into American University, the top political science university with no background in politics.

millennials playbook to adulting
millennials playbook to adulting

Today she’s working for a company right next door to the White House, and doing some great great work at Common Cause.

I didn’t even think about that until right now and that’s what I like about the Holy Spirit or of my Higher Self

things pop into my head. It is also an example of leaning your ladder up against the wrong building!

  • My next question is a follow-up to the first and it is do you agree that we’re all meant to do a certain thing on this earth? And what is your advice to, Millennial,  on finding their, purpose? How Can, Millennials, Find Their, Purpose?
Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Let’s say using my daughter story that she didn’t know what her, purpose, was as a, millennial.  She went to school and maybe felt psychology was a job that can make her money that’s where a lot of, Millennials, Park right?  So what advice do you give them?

  • To answer your first question in terms of do I think we’re all here to do something, yes I definitely believe that we individually are all here to bring some value or offer something back to the world. I believe some of us it takes longer than others but; I do believe we are all here to accomplish something and I think we probably give different weight to what we accomplish. Just because what you believe it is something small it can be transformational to somebody else. In terms of what I believe, Millennials, can do in terms of finding their, purpose, I actually think it starts with a very simple concept and that is honestly taking time to think and to plan and I think.  When we sit back and you when you look at your life if you plan it with the level of detail that you plan for example a vacation you’d be surprised about you know how much how differently you might view things.

I recommend taking one hour a week to evaluate where you are and where you want to go.

The timeline might be where I want to go this week, it might be where I want to go in the next year, in the next two years or five years from now. Whatever time period I feel I need to think about it and plan for at that time for example if you’re thinking,  I hate my job, it’s not fulfilling this is not my, purpose. Then you know think about what would make you feel more purposeful? What are the types of positions or jobs that you would like to be in? And then what are the steps that you need to take to get there. Do you need to you know go back to school? Do you need to join a networking group?

My daughter came to me one day and said that she wants to become a politician and I look at her this sweet innocent person that had no politician skills or natural talents and I said to her

“How do you get there how do you get from where you are today to where you want to be tomorrow?”

As her coach we planned it

  • Toastmasters and learn how to speak in front of people,
  • school for political science,
  • volunteer so she can get some political experience and things like that so yeah and you got to make a

plan and the beautiful thing about it you know is that it might feel far-fetched but you never know if it’s really your purpose the universe, God will step in and help you get there. That’s why when my daughter applied to American University she said she only had a 30% chance of being accepted. She said I’ll apply there’s no hope that I’m gonna get in and guess what she got in because she’s on, purpose,  because God helps you if you are on, purpose!

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Don’t ever think that anything is too big for God.

Les Brown says reach for the the stars, you might fallback on the moon!

I agree. One of my favorite quotes is

If your dreams don’scare you, they’re not big enough.

You have to become comfortable with being uncomfortable and that’s really I think when you accept that, it will help you in finding your, purpose.

Especially if you’re not currently living what you believe to be your, purpose. I like that one I mean you you talked

about it before you must really live by that and it’s very true you know when my daughter went to Washington she was incredibly uncomfortable, she was in a city that she didn’t know anyone, she was going into something that she didn’t

know anything about and it was uncomfortable and that’s only way you grow.

Alright so and this is coming from your book, you’ve got a chapter in your book about your giving advice and strategies and how, Millennials,  can achieve their goals in the workplace; but I like the word hustle that you used to describe this. You advise to hustle to get what you want in this world. I think when you hustle you have to you have to be hungry you have to really want it. You have to be motivated and so I think to your point earlier, when it’s something that you truly want and you feel passionate about or you really wanted to achieve the hustle actually comes fairly easy at least in the

beginning because you know you most likely will accept that challenge and want to go after it. Where it becomes a challenging I would say is consistently hustling, always having that thirst, that hunger to push yourself further and

that sometimes can be where we tend to fall off. That’s human nature, you have to learn to hold yourself accountable and to make sure that you are you’re hitting your own personal benchmarks and hitting your own personal goals. And so a good way to keep the hustle mentality I would say is to make sure that you have measurable things that you want to do and so that way you’ve got a way to check yourself.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast
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I use that analogy because when you’re finding

your, purpose, you mentioned what are your interests and what excites you but

I’m going to add to that what are you good at. What’s your natural ability?

What’s your natural talent? Because that’s what you have in your hand.

Ray Charles was born blind and he just picked up a piano and played. But

but some of us has to do these stepping stones.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

What is  Adulting.

In your book, in fact your book is called “the, Millennial’s, playbook, adulting” Can you explain

what you mean by, adulting, and how that relates to how to find your, purpose?

Adulting, is actually a it’s a, millennial, term.

Social media usually uses funny hashtags like

I’m doing laundry hashtag #adulting pain pills #adulting. I’m over

#adulting. Adulting, is really just the idea of growing up frankly and taking on new

responsibilities and transitioning into an adult. I would say being more

independent and if in terms of how can a dull teen connect to her purpose? I

think that one of the things I you know in my coaching is what did I tell people

and tell the, Millennial, that I work with is when you are transitioning into an adult

you are now the owner of your life. I actually say you’re the CEO of ME

Incorporated and part of that is determining what you want to do and so it’s no longer what your

parents what you to do or what your teachers or grandparents want you to do.

All of these influencers who have really directed you for the majority of

your life so far this next phase of your life is really about running your own life

like a CEO. A CEO runs her company as she sees fit. and so you know I think often times there

are, Millennials, who are in professions because that’s what their

parents wanted them to do or that’s what was expected of them or that’s what they

said they were going to do and they were embarrassed to change their

minds. Well if you want to change your mind, it is now up to you to do so. That’s

part of being an adult. It’s unlikely that someone is going to come

to you and to say I think that you need to change your

passion or your job. So I would just encourage, Millennials,

especially to think about what they want out of life.

Don’t for others to direct your path, certainly others can help lead

you in the direction that you want to go to, and I am a firm believer of

leveraging a personal board of advisers and your mentors and people

around you to help you and to guide you and to get feedback. But it is

really up to you to do the exercises, to do the work, and to decide where you want

to go next or where you want to take your life professionally.

On the first page of your book you made

the humorous statement and I quote

“Dear Universe I miss the how to be an adult 101 class, send help and my mom and wine”

I thought that was humorous. So my question to you is which, adulting, class did you

think that you missed and have the most struggle with?

Probably for me it’s the financial class. I

actually spoke to a group of, Millennials, yesterday as part

of a fellowship program and one of the questions they asked was can you tell me about managing my finances?

I admitted to them that managing my finances especially when I was younger

and like 20 was very difficult. I sort of used my debit card like a gift card, just

charge and see how much it is. So and that wasn’t that wasn’t smart

decision making and I think that as I’ve grown up I’ve been forced

to become much more financially literate. I just don’t mean you know okay I

save money now that that’s that’s not being fighting totally financially

literate I mean really understanding you know what’s coming in what’s going out

I’m having that data point and now you know there’s lots of apps that can help

you figure that out as well as understanding what’s the best way to say

it’s my money what are what are you know but ways that I can you know increase

increase my my my salary or my revenue streams besides just my day-to-day

nine-to-five job understanding the stock market understanding you know investments and

things like that especially being an entrepreneur really understanding those

types of things are really important and so I think that I came from a very

traditional family that was you put some money in a saving account you do that

every single week and you will likely not you know that’s the best thing you

won’t go poor that’s how you do it but that but there’s so much more to that

and so that was part of the I would say the, adulting, class that there I have I

had to say have one that I did not get that I probably you know still learning

but you know came to me much much later in life that I think is very critical

um to proper adult thing yeah that’s actually pretty good you know I helped

my daughter a lot with that but I’m just learning that now in my 50s so I

understand that because you know our parents certainly didn’t sit down and

teach us because they didn’t even know themselves so that was a perfect answer

I love it alright so tell our listeners how they can get in touch her to you if

they want any kind of coaching or to purchase a copy of your book sure you

can go to my website.

www.arikapierce.com

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

https://blog.myhelps.us/the-millennial-playbook-unpacking-limiting-beliefs/

 

 

 

How to Flow with Desire

How to Flow with Desire

Listen on Google Play Music

How to Flow with Desire: Welcome to the Transform your Mind Radio show and podcast my name is Myrna Young Certified Professional Coach, Author and your Host, each week I bring you an inspiring guest or a solo coaching message to Help you Live your Best Lives Now by Transforming your Mindset.
Thanks for tuning in today and I hope that this segment meets you at your point of need.

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01:05
Today we are concluding our series on the Alchemy of Desire with a solo
coaching session, today it’s just gonna be you in me. I will be sharing
with you an excerpt from one of my previous interviews; but for the most
part it’s going to be you and me because I wanted this to be a coaching session on now that you have gotten what you desired. How to Flow with Desire.

In our previous five episodes of teaching you how to use the fantastic
and magical transformation of the word Alchemy to get your most desired thing. Whether it’s a relationship, whether it’s a job whether it’s Travel, whatever is your most intimate desire we’ve been teaching you, me and my co-host miss Margo Blake has been teaching you how to achieve the Alchemy of Desire which is the magical transformation of thoughts into manifestation.

02:39 Today I want to conclude with now that you’ve got it how
to flow with it so we’re calling this episode “How to Flow with your Desire”

Abraham Hicks: How to Flow with Desire
02:52
Today I start a contest. We will be giving away a Free Annual Subscription
to Mix_ Amore, which is the Newest Hottest Dating App as seen on Shark Tank. This one year free membership I should say VIP membership includes video instant Messenger, Hot List, chat advantages and NO advertisements just to name a few of the Perks. I will be picking one winner a week for the next four weeks to anyone
who enters the contest by posting a review of this podcast on iTunes, so all you need to do to enter this contest is to go to iTunes. Look for the Transform your Mind with Coach Myrna podcast leave a review and then send me an email to info@myhelps.us, with the subject line “podcast review” and then you
will be entered in to the contest. We will be drawing one winner per week and mthis VIP membership is valued at $74.99; so you know if you have been listening to this radio show and podcast and you are getting valuable information from this podcast and radio show then yeah it would be nice for you to tell us in a review.

05:36
Let me recap our five previous episodes this is episode number six .
In our first episode we talked about “ How to Manifest the Desires of your heart and the first
step was knowing what you want, and once you know what you want in order t activate it you need to put some emotion to it and that is how you activate the Law of Attraction.

06:15 In our second episode, we talked about “How to use the Energy of Desire to create something magical.

06:23 In our third episode we talked “How to put Attention on your Desire so that you can light your desires a fire!

06:37 In our 4th episode we talked about “How Infidelity Affects Intimacy” and our desire for our partners.

06:51 In our last episode we talked about “How to Prevent the EBB in long term relationships because you know hat there’s always Ebb and Flow; but we want it to flow.


07:19 If you missed any of these episodes please download them
on iTunes, Stitcher, Tune in or Google Play podcast players, and please remember to subscribe so that you wouldn’t miss any more.

07:40
All right so let’s get on with the show! Let’s dive right in as I
mentioned before our topic today is going to be “How to Flow with your Desire”
Another way of saying that is

“How to keep what you now have”

07:58 What you have in your hands need some work, you just don’t
get it and then you don’t have to do anything else.
Relationships require work, and most people have a false sense of entitlement.
They feel that it is enough that they are just there in the relationship and
all they have to do is show up or come home every night and they feel that
they’re doing something. People think that you should love them as they are
and they don’t need any work or they don’t need to make any changes.

08:37 I remember one of my ex-husband’s actually saying this to me.
A few months after we were married I asked him to take more care with his
Appearance and hygiene because he was walking around looking like he was homeless and this was his response and I quote “This is what you bought and you can’t send it back” A lot of people feel that hey you picked me, you bought me, you got into a relationship with me, so you must be okay with how I am, and you know you gotta put up or shut up. But that does not lead to a healthy relationship.

09:22 Some ask why do I have to do all this work? I have heard people say it’s either a fit or it’s or it’s not. Why try to force a square peg in a round hole? Good question. It’s true, that there are some square pegs that definitely do not need to be forced into a round hole because it’s never gonna fit right; but we’re not talking about the obvious misfits. We’re talking about couples have some synergy. They have love but they just got to do a little bit of work.

10:09 We all know the spouse or a partner that just comes home and turn on the TV and pay his partner no attention. Those are the ones were talking about. Relationship needs work to keep them fresh and healthy.

10:28 When relationships are not fresh and healthy, couples then become roommates and it’s never more evident as when you go to your partner and you say “Hey this is not working out, I think we should we should go our separate ways and they say sure why not. They agree! My gosh that is like a slap in your face or like someone throwing a cold bucket of water on you! That is not the response you want but; that’s what happens when the relationship Ebbs and Ebbs and nobody pays any attention and you’re now just roommates. What has happened is that your partner has emotionally checked out a long time ago and they’re just there for I don’t know, finances, the children or whatever the reason.

11:20 When you break up with someone you want them
to miss you. You want them to chase you. You don’t want them to say.
“Sure, why not!”. That’s not the response that we should get when
we’re trying to terminate a relationship right?

11:48 I remember reading Gabrielle Union’s book we’re going to need more wine and she told the story a very sad story about the night she had a fight with her first husband. She describes this relationship as feeling like you are driving towards a brick wall yet being incapable of mashing on the breaks! Her marriage was going down the tank for a long time but she didn’t want to give up on it. So, she told the story about a night she had a fight with her husband one of their many fights and she ran out the house in the middle of the night, four o’clock in the morning or some ridiculous time like that. She expected her husband to chase her because you know your husband should be worried about you, he’s supposed to be to protect you!
Gabriel ended up sitting by a tree and falling asleep. When she woke up in the morning she was sure that her husband was worried about her and called the cops. She expected to find cops all over her house when she got home. Instead she found her husband fast asleep.
That’s when she realized there was no hope for her marriage.

13:44 So ladies and gentlemen, Ask yourself what do you bring to the table?
You now have the object of your affection, you won. He or she is now yours what are you going to do to keep him or her?
Ladies maybe you were a seductress and got the man interested, now what? What else you got?
One quality will bring someone to the table and even make them fall in love with you but it will not keep them. It will not hold them.
Lots of people love others but can’t live with them.
Lot of couples divorce yet are still in love, that is because you need a pairing of attractive qualities.
A one hat trick is not going to be enough in the long run.
Ladies, You know that there is a long line of seductress waiting around the corner to entice your man.
Men if all you got, is that you are the provider, well all your woman has to do is look to the left or right and find another man with a job and he can replace you.
What is your unique paring?
This information was the reason I went through 4 husbands.
They all had one thing but not the unique pairing I required to hold me.
I will tell you it took me almost 30 years to find it in my current relationship.
My unique paring was ambition and genuine caring. Caring for me and my daughter.
When you get this unique paring you get not only an attraction but you get an addiction.
The “and” is what makes you difficult to replace.
What I would like to do now is play for you an except from one of the relationship experts I interviewed on this show to add some context to our conversation. Ms Inez Bracy is a coach and author of Rejuvenate your life: 21 days to feel like a woman again.

The Alchemy of Desire

18:25 21 Days to feel like a woman again by Inez Bracy

1. Meditation
Your journey begins whenever you say it is.
Now is this moment if you decide this second yeah this makes perfect sense to me. I am going to do something to start changing my life.
If you decide that that’s perfect and you go into silence and into meditation, being still, whatever it is you desire to change will
reveal itself to you. It will come in a way where you are given steps to take.
Now I can tell you this when that comes, it is going to come very quietly, it’s not going to be loud and boisterous, it’s going to tell you perhaps you should do this or that.

2. Celebration
21:14 The next thing that I enjoy is celebrations. Celebrate something every single day and that’s
what my blissful living challenge is all about. So many times we can get caught up in everything that’s going on around us. Almost like a vortex we get just sucked into it; but if you’ve ever been around a baby, small babies or under two years old. Up to that age the baby’s just gurgles and giggles and they are just so happy.
I imagine it now.

21:54 They’re blissful. They have no reason not to be. We lose that along the way from boundaries and everything else that comes along. When we lose that we get to recapture and reclaim it because it is our birthright. Babies come in the world with it. We could to reclaim our birthright and no matter what is going on in our environment, we can still choose bliss.

3. 23:05 Vibration Frequency
The more you start to celebrate, the more you lift your vibrations and The more you sing, the more you dance, the less often you will have to shovel;because your vibrational energy is at a point now where it’s attracting to you those things that are good. This level of vibration is higher so you’re going to be attracting love, you’re going to be attracting Joy, you’re going to be attracting bliss.

23:33 Myrna: Yes, I talk about gratitude like that but; I guess it’s the same word be grateful for what you have regardless of what’s lacking. Don’t concentrate on what you don’t have. Concentrate on what you want. So that you can raise your vibrational frequency and attract good things.

25:09 So, yes celebrating having gratitude very important.

4. 25:17 Vision
Another thing is to visualize. To live in a space of visualization to write out what it is you want. When I’m working with my clients, I say to them I desire you get to write out your vision for your life. Where do you want to live?
How does it look? How does it show up?

25:56 Sit down and see yourself in the theater of your mind. On your own stage and you’re the actor and the producer!
Write out your vision for your life.

5. 32:18 Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda
We can spend our entire lives lamenting Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda and that’s all in the past. All in the past, it’s already happened or didn’t happen. Those words have no value to this present moment. They have no value to your future either.
So you should begin to eliminate woulda coulda shoulda from your vocabulary

Please subscribe to this podcast if you appreciate this content so that I can Help others find this on iTunes and Listen on Google Play Music” target=”_blank”>Google Play ” target=”_blank”>Google Play

How to Become an Open Communicator

How to keep a man

Sometimes being an, open communicator, vs a closed off communicator gets you out of bad situations like in a relationship.  In every area of life, there is no reward if there is no risk taken.

Are you an Open or Closed Communicator

This week on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast with Coach Myrna Young, I interview Leadership Coach and Trainer, Gail Green.
Gail teaches us How to Become an, open Communicator. Gail is the founder of GoGreen Learning.
To receive her Free Gift of 3 Go Cards send her an email from her web site www.gogreenlearning.com

 

Here is a brief Biography of Gail Green.
• Gail is a leadership coach and trainer and her topic today is “How to find out if you are an, open vs closed communicator, as well as an, open communicator in the workplace.   Gail is a leader who connects individuals and teams to their truth, helping them to discover their full expression of courage, joy and fulfillment. Gail works with all sizes of companies, as well as individually with leaders, and do life coaching with individuals from all walks of life.
• Gail’s primary work is in leadership development, teambuilding, stress management and all forms of, open and honest communication.

Who is a Closed Communicator?

Why is being a, closed communicator, bad?

As a, closed communicator:

  • you become defensive,
  • resistant,
  • bitchy,
  • moody,
  • easy to anger,
  • confrontational,
  • and not open to feedback.

 

So as a Leader, it is important to be an, open communicator,  to your team and employees.

Open people radiate outwards from their heart and is able to touch others.

If you want to impact your employees and your customers, then learn how to be open.
Listen to the podcast as Gail teaches us how to be an, Open vs Closed communicator, with the help of her Go Cards.

Brian Tracy The author of “Eat that Frog” also teaches How to become an, Open Communicator, as a Leader and achieve new levels of success in sales.
Click the link below to find out how.


300x250 Sales Success Made Simple

 

Are You also Closed Off in your personal relationships And Don’t Even Know It?

Being an, open communicator in a relationship, is necessary for the relationship to be healthy.

Here are a few questions to find out if you are an, open communicator.

  • How Would you answer the following questions?
  • Are you emotionally guarded?
  • Are you willing to take risks?

If you answered yes to these questions, it could mean that you are closed off emotionally.

Sometimes being emotionally guarded gets you into bad situations; but most of the time it gets you nowhere. In every area of life, there is no reward if there is no risk taken. So that could be why you keep finding yourself in relationships that bore you, or in relationship with other emotionally closed off individuals. Because like attracts like. Those relationships aren’t very rewarding, are they?

Open and honest communication, is the best way to be in relationships at home and workplace. If you don’t take the risk by becoming an, open communicator, and putting your true self and your true feelings on the table, those are the types of relationships that you will attract.

Your emotionally open friends who love being, open communicators, will get those giddy, best-friends-lovers, movie-type romances; you will get the dead-end ones. Maybe you’ve never had your heart broken, and maybe you think that’s a perk. But it’s not. It is said that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all! So, I will ask the question. Are you closed off communicator and don’t even realize it?

Here is an article from Madame Enoire that asks 10 more ways to tell if you are closed off personally.

open communication in the workplace
open communication in the workplace

Here are 10 ways to tell if you an, open communicator, or closed off :

  1. Do you feel like first dates are interrogations, and are put off by the line of questioning you receive during them?
  2. Does it feel very inappropriate to you whenever someone becomes emotional around you?
  3. Do your friends share their romantic stories with you? Or do they feel that you are never happy for them so they don’t share?
  4. Do you attract cocky guys?
  5. You do a lot of Googling before first dates.
  6.  You prep your friends to meet a guy.
  7.  Sex is a competition.
  8.  You’ve never cried to a partner or shown your venerability.
  9.  Eye contact makes you very uncomfortable
  10. You’re very sarcastic

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Show Notes Open Communicator:

  • • Topic: Are you an Open or Closed Communicator?
  •  Tell us your journey towards becoming a Leadership coach
  •  How did you come to specialize in, Open vs closed communication?
  • How does a leader know if he or she is, open vs closed communicator? What determines that?
  • If a leader becomes closed off, how can he or she trace the source?
  • Why should leaders want to become open? What are the benefits of being an,  open communicator?
  • What tools do you offer as a coach to help clients who are closed off to become, open communicators?
  • You sent me this beautiful set of Go Cards, how does one use these cards to change their state?
  • How do we become, open communicators in the workplace?
  • What is the, meaning of open communication?

Additional Resources 

Life Leadership & Success

How to Raise your Self-esteem by Erasing Self Doubt

How to Erase Self Doubt

In this week’s segment of the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, I teach on the topic how to Raise your Self Esteem by Erasing Self Doubt.

Self confidence and self esteem is the belief that you can accomplish any task or any goal.

Self doubt is the negative narrative that plays in your head. It is like PAC man. It is there to eat up your confidence

I was listening to a Ted talk YouTube video last week and the speaker was telling his story.
He said for 10 years he smoked crack when he woke up and before he went to bed. Hoping to numb the pain of living. He was a disappointment to his mother, his wife and his children. He felt worthless!
On his second trip to prison, he spent a total of 8 years in prison, his adopted mother had a heart attack and he was told she was not going to make it. He felt pretty low that this woman who he adopted him and loved his as her own and tried to give him a better life was now in the hospital, in a cold dark room and he was not there to offer her comfort. This was the first spark of change in him. Maybe he should do something with his life other than being a mess up.
When he got out of prison this time he decided to go to college. He was now a middle aged black man and he was in college with 20 year old white students. Never the less he did good and now looked forward for the accolades his teachers gave him because he was performing better than expected. He said that praise was now his new drug. He lived for his teachers praises. One day one of his teachers put an application for a job on his desk. He couldn’t believe it. His teacher had confidence in him, his teacher had confidence in his ability to do the job. The self confidence seedling inside him got water and grew a little. As his self confidence grew, his life changed. No longer was he a non contributing member to society, he was making a contribution. He now had a new family and 7 years after he was released from prison, he received his PHD in Physiology!

Self confidence doesn’t always come naturally. Sometimes you have to practice and practice until you build it. Sometimes it comes from your teachers or your parents.

So today I will share some tools to help you build up your self confidence and self esteem while starving the negative self talk. The negative talk that tells you, you are not good enough. You can never make it, you are not smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough.

But before we can get to the solution of anything or before we can get to anywhere on the map, we have to know how we got to where we are right now and pinpoint where we are.

For example. If you are at the mall and you are wanting to go to Macy’s department store you look at the map and it shows “You are here” if you want to get to Macy’s than you know you have to walk right or left.
It is the same way in life.

Statics show that we can shed a lot of light on how we got here on the map by looking at our childhood. You see parenting does not come
with a manual and some parents get it right; but most get it wrong.

Understanding your inner child is very important to unlocking the door of where you are on the map today.
You see when you came into the world you were totally dependent on someone else to care for you. Not just to feed you, bathe you, and to keep you warm but to love you, protect you and nurture you.
If whenever you cried your mother or caregiver came and picked you up and smiled at you and comforted you then you transformed that into the feeling of you are important.
If however when you cried you were ignored, then you formed the feeling that you are unwanted.
Even though you have no memory of being a baby, your heart and your internal computers have a record of everything. A hypnotist can go back and pull it out. That is the root of low self esteem and self doubt that is now an oak tree!

If today you are listening to me and you are experiencing low self esteem and self doubt or you don’t understand why you are not getting the results you want. Why you are here on the map and you can never get over there. I challenge you to do the work find out why.

I was watching Oprah Super Soul Sunday a few months ago and she had a guest who talked about going back to your childhood home in your mind and looking out the window. What do you see?

I did this exercise.
I grew up with a single mother and my grandmother in Guyana. Guyana is in South America. Our neighbors are Venezuela and Brazil.
We were very poor. Both my mother and grand mother were domestic servants.
I was the eldest of 4 children and we all lived in a room in a big house.
When I looked through the window of that room. I saw that even though I was poor, I had hope. I had love, I had friends, I was happy.
I saw that I had self confidence because I believed I was attractive. My dad told me so and I believed him.
I had self confidence because I believed I was intelligent. I did well in school. I was a B+ student.
I had self confidence because I knew I would get a good job when I left school. And I did. When I graduated from school, I got a job at the Ministry of Health. I was a payroll clerk paying all the doctors at Georgetown hospital.
I never lost my self confidence. If someone wanted to hurt me by calling me ugly, did nothing to me because I knew I was attractive.
If someone called me stupid, it did nothing to me because I knew I was intelligent.
That is why we have to have an internal lotus of control. You can’t let people steal your self confidence by telling you, “you are not good enough.” You are wonderfully made. As Joel Osteen says “We are all made like a fully loaded top of the line sports car” everything we need to be successful in life is preloaded at the factory. All we have to do is to read the manual!

I challenge you to go back to your childhood home in your mind and look through the window.

We lose self esteem because of a variety of reasons
• We were inadequately nurtured as children.
• We could have absorbed negative messages about ourselves and it still resides in the core of our beings.
• Self esteem is what you think and feel about yourself and not what others think and feel about you.
• How we feel about ourselves, is how we view the world.

To grow in self esteem is to expand our capacity for happiness.

The higher our self esteem the more equipped we are to handle life’s adversities.
The higher our self esteem the more ambitious we are not necessary in a career; but in forming healthy relationships and not repeating destructive patterns.
The higher our self esteem the more likely we are to form nourishing bonds with others.

Our external life is an indication of what is going on inside.
The art of raising our self esteem is a process your level of commitment determines how long raising your self esteem will take.

How to raise your self esteem by erasing self doubt

Some of us never got love from our parents; but we are now mothers. It is important to hug your kids often and tell them you love them. It is important to make your kids feel valuable.
But, even if you get no love from your parents, friends, lovers, you must love yourself. You can never give away what you don’t have. If you don’t love yourself you can’t love your children, you can’t love your husband.

How to be self confident

How do you know if you love yourself?

Ask yourself these questions?
• Do I take care of myself?
• Do I make being healthy a priority?
• Am I stretching and challenging myself to be better than I am today?
• Am I living life with passion or am I just passing through?

If you answered No to any of these questions then you need to make some changes in your life before you get to 80 years old and realize that you never lived.

How do you erase self doubt?

By Thinking it, speaking it and doing it!

The weeds that take over the garden of your mind can only flourish if you are a bad gardener!

You have to protect your dreams by plucking up the weeds before they grow. They will come. Self doubt always comes; but you have to pluck them out by speaking of your goals and doing something to get you moving towards the place on the map you want to go.
That is why you have to know where you are so you won’t move in the opposite direction.

First Think it. There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so. William Shakespeare.

Rhonda brine of the secret says “What you think about you bring about”

Your thoughts affect your attitude, your self confidence, your mood, and there is a direct relationship to your thoughts and your experiences in life.

Remember when you were a kid and your parents would tell not to hang around Johnny or Jane? They did not know why; but they knew that if you kept company with Jonny or Jane, no good would come of you.
In the same way if you keep replaying negative emotions in your head such as fear, discontent, anger, jealousy, insecurities, blame etc then you will keep attracting more negative energy to your experience.

But if you are wanting that promotion and you see yourself in this new role and you are confident that you will get this promotion then you will. You might not get it at your first try but if you never give up it will be yours eventually; conversely, If you want this promotion; but you place road blocks in your path such as any and all negative thoughts then chances are you will never attract this reality into your experience.

When we think, our thoughts become like magnets and attract, and then attach to like thoughts. That is why it manifests in our life.

Nothing shows up in our life unless we attract it.

We have all seen the power of attraction in motion when if we have something bad happen to us at the beginning of the day, bad things keep on happening for the rest of the day.

So, it is very important to watch what you think.

Now let’s take a look at Speak it.

The spoken word is a powerful tool and by leveraging your voice you expand your dreams from internal thoughts to external possibilities, laying the ground work for divine purpose to manifest. Deepak Chopra

When you take your thoughts, which are formless and speak them into the atmosphere you give them form. This empowers them.

“Talk happiness; talk faith; talk health. Say you are well, and all will be well with you. God shall hear your words and make them true.” Ella Wheeler Wilcox

So, remember to speak it. Tell a friend or your coach of your intentions.

And lastly “just do it.” Nike made this phrase popular but it applies to more than athletics. Just do it. There will never be a better time than the present.

“He who waits to do a great deal of good at once will never do anything.”
― Samuel Johnson

So “just do it.” Think about something you have been thinking of doing for some time. Tell someone about it and then take the first step. It does not have to be a giant step. It could be as simple as doing research or taking that nice red Mercedes out for a test drive; but it will be a step in the right direction.
I hope my presentation was thought provoking. These are the principles I live by and I attract all that I want into my experience; so give it a try.
If you lack self confidence and would like to talk to a coach, I offer a 30 min Free strategy session to help you gain self confidence to achieve your goals.
Click this link to set up your Free Strategy Session
Namaste!,”

Investing in Real Estate: What is the number one mistake people make trying to flip houses?

What is the Number one mistake people make when Flipping houses

The number one mistake people make when investing in real estate is investing before understanding the rules. Listen to learn the rules to win the game of investing in real estate.

A few weeks ago I interviewed my co host Trevor Evans on the topic “The path to Financial Freedom” We received such an overwhelming response to that topic that I decided to have a spin off series on Real Estate Investing. Trevor Evans is a Speaker/Trainer for Legacy Education Alliance and Rich Dad Education. Entrepreneur, Real Estate Investor. Banker and Founder of Personal Awakening Brand “Being Normal Sucks.”

We will start off our series teaching on one of the most popular investment strategies in Real Estate Investing “Funding, Fixing and Flipping.

Flip or Flop

Doing my research for this topic, I found that there is a plethora of mistakes beginning investors make when working with rehab properties. Many of them because of watching shows life MTV’s Flip or Flop where they always end up making the right choices and thus make thousands of dollars in profit!

My co host and I both agree, since we are both Abraham Hicks students, there is nothing wrong with looking for contrast around you and choosing what you want to bring into your vortex.
We are setting the intention that all you would be investors or current investors will gleam from our knowledge and make fewer mistakes with your real estate investments. So if you do fail, you would fail forward!

One of those investment vehicles is to Fund, Fix and Flip houses. It is by far the most popular vehicle because of the opportunity to make a lot of money quickly.

So, make sure you tune in to this podcast twice per month for our series or subscribe to my podcast so as not to miss anything!

In keeping with the format of the show, I want to leave you with my tip of the week.

This week’s tip of the week: Winter is the best time to purchase Real Estate”
From the book “Your money and how to keep it” by Brian Costello

“While economic development can make a difference when it comes to purchasing a house, there is no question that winter is by far the best time to buy.
Think about it for a minute, the weather is freezing cold, the winds are gusting, everything is covered with snow, everybody wants to stay inside where it is warm – and those few who do go outside to see houses that look unattractive because they are knee-deep in snow are serious buyers. Could there be a worst time to be out braving the elements looking for a house? No.
And that’s exactly what happens. Everybody sits tight. No one even thinks about buying a house in the winter months. They are all waiting for the grass to turn green and the flowers to start to bloom.
In the meantime, houses are being put up for sale. The biggest reasons for selling a house still affect the marketplace, no matter what the weather. They include family breakups, company transfers, deaths, and financial hardships.
When a family splits, it’s not uncommon for the house to go up for sale right away as neither spouse has enough money to pay for it outright. If your boss decides to transfer you to another city, you generally have no choice but to move. As a result, your house might be on the market right away, no matter what the market is like. Most of us can’t afford to pay the cost of accommodations in two different locations.

Death, financial hardship, and divorce happens throughout the year; summer and winter. But to have them happen when there are fewer buyers interested in another house always works in the favor of the buyer. It is the old law of supply and demand. And that is what you see in the winter months. There is more supply than there are buyers, so the buyer is in a much better position to demand a lower price, better financing terms or a combination of both.
Winter is also a good time to check that the thermostat is working correctly by looking for heat loss. If the prospective house has less snow on the roof than the other houses, it could indicate that insulation is lacking. When you get inside the house you can listen to the furnace. If it goes on and off while you are there, you know that the house has drafts or furnace problems.
These are some of the reasons why winter is the very best time to get a bargain.”

That is my tip of the week. I hope that you received some nuggets about house hunting for bargains.

Here are some show notes from our expert Trevor Evans:

Words do not make you an expert, experience does. I practice what I teach.

Trevor feels that he is an expert because he is not only a teacher but he is putting in work in the field.

Question: “What is the catalyst to your success as an investor?”
Answer: “Understanding the rules.”

Reasons for failure as an Investor

Most people play the game of investing in real estate with enthusiasm and talent.
Talent could be their investment funds or just understanding money.
But in any game, You should play to win!
In order to win, like in any sport, you must understand the rules.

If you don’t understand the rules, your talent and your enthusiasm will run out before you can win!

But if you combine your Talent and Enthusiasm with Competence, then you could win the championship or make lots of money!

So let’s answer the question:

The Number One Mistake People Make – Getting into the Rehab Game?

Watching TV shows like the Flip or Flop people think that they can just buy a house, throw some money into it and then flip it and make lots of money.
They do not see the underlying problems that happen to first time investors who do not know the rules of the game.
The flip or Flop investors are doing great now; but I am sure it took them a number of years of failure by trial and error to understand the rules to win the game.

Investing is not easy but it is simple, if you follow the rules

Over your head

It is a process that is done through setting up a system or a set of principles.

Principles do not create success, they prevents failure.

3 Reasons for Failure:
1. They get emotionally involved
2. They pay retail
3. They become intimidated

Listen in to learn how to overcome these reasons for failure.

How to Unleash Power Within

We are connected to divine consciousness and so we come pre-loaded with the power of the Universe, we need to learn how to, unleash the power within.

This week on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast with coach Myrna, I interview Dr Donavan Outten, Dr Outten is going to share “How to unleash your, inner greatness, also called the, power within, so you can tap into the person God intended you to be.

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Tip of the week: Are you Desperate and Determined?

A few weeks ago, my pastor preached on the 3 D’s
Desperate, Determined and Dependent!
You see the 3 D’s require a mindset shift. 
In order to, unleash power within, we must become desperate, determined and dependent. We see numerous times in the bible when God promoted and elevated people who were either desperate, determined or dependent on him for victory.
We see that every miracle begins with a desperate problem.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Lets look at the story of Esther to illustrate.
The story begins with Ahasuerus, ruler of the Persian Empire, holding a lavish banquet, initially for his court and dignitaries and afterwards for all inhabitants of the capital city, Shushan.
On the seventh day, Ahasuerus orders the queen, Vashti, to come and display her beauty before the guests by wearing only her crown. She refuses. Furious, Ahasuerus has her removed from her position and makes arrangements to choose a new queen from a selection of beautiful young women from throughout the empire.
One of these is the Jewish orphan, Esther. After the death of her parents, she was fostered by her cousin, Mordecai. She finds favor in the King’s eyes, and is crowned his new queen.
Ahasuerus appoints Haman as his viceroy. Mordecai, who sits at the palace gates, falls into Haman’s disfavour, as he refuses to bow down to him. Having discovered that Mordecai is Jewish, Haman plans to kill not just Mordecai, but all the Jews in the empire.
As the story unfolds, Esther the Jewish orphan turned queen, used her place as queen to intercede with the King; her desperation made her, unleash power within, her and risk death, because it was against the law to present herself to the King unsummoned. This was punishable by death.
Her determination, desperation and dependence on God, saved the Jews of the Persian Empire, she, unleashed her power within.

My Guest this week on Mindset Transformation Radio is Dr Donavan Outten.

Dr. Donavan Outten is a powerful trainer, consultant, educator and administrator with over 20 years’ experience. He is the Associate Vice President of Academic Affairs at Webster University.
Dr. Outten is a published author of 2 books, one of which is our topic today. Unleash your inner greatness: A guide to overcoming obstacles and Tapping into the person God meant you to be.
Dr Outten writes books to inspire and motivate individuals to achieve greatness in their lives.
His research focuses on developing young African American Students in higher education. He has also produced seminars, lectures, classes, assessments and workshops throughout the United States and Caribbean.
Dr. Outten earned his Doctorate degree in Educational Leadership from Nova.
Southeastern University, his Masters in Human Resource Development & Administration from Barry University and Bachelors in Psychology from Bethune Cookman University.

Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast
Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

Show notes: How to, Unleash Your inner Greatness: : A guide to overcoming obstacles and Tapping into the person God meant you to be.

Question 1. I know that, unleashing our, inner greatness, our, unleash our power within, is your space. Can you tell our audience what does it mean to, Unleash Your, Inner Greatness,” and a little of why you chose this topic as the subject of your book.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Question 2. So what are some of the obstacles to unleashing our, power within?

Most children today are taught not to question authority, so they go about their lives always looking for someone to direct them and never focusing on their inner strength or, power within.

Question 3. Where does the, power within, come from?

We are connected to source energy. If you take a droplet of water from the ocean, it has the same properties as the entire body of the ocean. Similarly we came from God or source, so we have the same powers. We just need to, unleash the power within.

Question 4. How does an individual muster up enough strength to have such strong determination to finish a task or overcome a devastating life situation?

• Where do they find the courage to stand up for what they believe in or battle back from a medical condition that almost took their life?

• How does one leave a secure job to start a business that they are passionate about?

• What is the secret to obtaining determination and maintaining it over a period of time?
• What kinds of people have it, and what is determination?

Dr Outten says, “In my heart, I truly believe that determination is having the will to move forward in spite of what obstacle, barrier, or difficulty you might be facing. It is looking adversity in the face and not backing down, but pushing forward with tenacity and, unleash power within.

He feels that Self-determination starts on the inside. It is first a thought or a belief that you can or will succeed no matter the problem you have to face. You believe in yourself even when no one else does. That spells confidence, character, and courage.

Access inner greatness
Access inner greatness

Question 5. What are some other obstacles to unleashing our, inner greatness?

Resilience: The path toward nurturing a resilient mindset and lifestyle is a road
that should not be taken lightly. This path has many bumps, twists, turns, and potholes
and is never straightforward. The road often contains obstacles and detours
that interfere with reaching your destination.

Passion: Your passion does not usually appear overnight. It has been dwelling
inside you for a long time. As a child, what were you passionate about? As a
teenager, what were you passionate about? As a young adult, what were you
passionate about? Often times, you will identify a pattern in what you are
passionate about. It is up to you to identify what it is and go after it.
When turning your passion into profit, you have to be careful and work smarter,
not harder. You will run into a lot of obstacles and need to face your fears, as
things probably won’t go as smoothly as you’d like them to go. It’s all a part of
the journey.

Destiny: Destiny can be referred to as a predetermined course of events. It may
be conceived as a predetermined future, whether in general or of an individual.
What you perceive your future to be will come to pass if you work for it, believe
in it, and live your life towards it.
What you have today does not reflect what you will obtain tomorrow. If you have
the capability of looking into your future and seeing what lies ahead, then all you
have to do is work towards your goal.
Walking towards your destiny is no easy task because you will have obstacles and
hurdles along the way. There will be road blocks that will make you think that
you are going down the wrong path, but you will need to have patience,
endurance, and faith. Your faith will play a big part in finding and fulfilling your
destiny; you will need to seek guidance from God and, unleash power within.

Question 6. I know that you work predominately with the African American youth. What advice would you give them on being determined and staying the course?
You have to better than good, you have to be great.
You have to work twice as hard for the same opportunity as your white counterparts.

If you find this content valuable, please share and subscribe to my iTunes by clicking the link below:
Transform Your Mind with coach Myrna

 

Additional Resources

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/determination