How to Start a Podcast

how to start a podcast

Ginni Saraswati, award winning journalist shares How to, start a podcast, that Entertains, Empowers and Engage Audiences.

  • Ginni is an award-winning journalist and host of the Ginni Show, Comedy & Connectivity. In this episode Ginni shares how podcasters can, create and produce, entertaining shows by understanding what they are good at.  How podcasters can use their strengths to engage and entertain audiences.

Download the podcast here: 

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-create-and-produce-podcasts-that-entertain/id1144973094?i=1000434166985

Excerpt from the interview

Ginni, I was reading in your bio that you’ve got a great radio story. It is an inspiration to all those radio personalities out there that are toiling for no pay!

My story well it is an interesting one, because I was in my second year in university studying creative art.  There’s was a radio station in Melbourne, the city I grew up in Australia.  They had a course going for people who wanted to learn everything about radio.  The station was joy 94.9 which was Australia’s first and only LGBT radio station, and I think only one of three in the world at that time.  Anyway I applied for the course and I got accepted.

That’s when my life changed. I was more looking to do producer type stuff.  I didn’t want to literally get behind the microphone.  I knew a couple of things would change if I were to get behind the microphone of an, LGBT radio station.  I was completely afraid that this would automatically out me to everyone. I had not yet come out that I was gay.

How did you Transition from radio to starting a podcast?

I knew that radio and now, podcasting, is an intimate space, because people generally listen to radio or podcasts on their own.  I needed to learn, how to start a podcast. It’s not something that you go “hey it’s Friday night let’s go to my place and listen to a, podcast!”  Podcast listeners, are listening to a, radio, or an external device and it’s within a meter away from them or it’s right in their ears. So it’s a very intimate space,  that’s why it’s so impactful and why, podcasting, has become so popular.

How to start a podcast that you can monetize?

There is a lot of money in, podcasting. Advertisers are getting a lot back from Ads because of the intimacy of the medium.

  • 45 Percent of Podcast Listeners Have a Household Income of $75,000 or More

Podcast listeners, are a relatively affluent group. Compared to America as a whole, monthly podcast listeners are 29 percent more likely to have a HHI of $75,000 or more. Combined with the large ratio of, podcast listeners, in the coveted 25 to 54 demographic, this is why advertisers are starting to seek out, podcast sponsorship opportunities.

  • 85 Percent of Podcast Listeners Have Attended College

Podcast listeners, are also an educated group, as they are nearly 20 percent more likely to have attended college at some point, compared to the U.S. population as a whole. And among people who have secured a four-year college degree, the difference is even more striking, with podcast listeners 40 percent more likely to have done so.

Podcasts, are the perfect medium for advertisers.

Podcasts, are very educational, it’s like you know the audio version of YouTube! Anything you want to learn, there’s a, podcast, that can teach you whatever you want to learn.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

How to start a podcast with Radio experience

I found inspiration in the part of your story about working for 10 years on the, radio, for no pay!

Yes, when I first got into, morning radio, we started at 6:00 am, so I got up at 4:30 am, no matter what I did the night before.  That’s how much I loved, radio. It did take a good 10 years of hustle, getting up early, staying back late.  The first time I got on the, radio, I got the graveyard shift from 11:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m., which meant I was getting to bed like 2:30 am or 3:00 am, and then on the reverse, when I got the, morning radio show, I had to get up at 4:30 a.m. to make sure I was there for 6.00 am.  It did take a lot of hard work; but you know no pain, no gain.  Let’s remember nothing comes free.  I don’t think you can do anything great that you don’t build up.  It does take a lot of work and consistency to build anything great.

I worked for free for 10 years; but you know it was the most rewarding experience in my life. I got to meet and interview amazing people and make strong connections.

Mel Robbins tells the story as well about working on, radio, for free and almost losing her house because she was not making any money and her husband’s business wasn’t doing well.  They almost lost everything.  She tells a powerful story in her book the “Five-second Rule

She now works for CNN and she’s blown up but it all started with working for free on the, radio!

Why you should start a podcast.

On my radio show we started to re-purpose some episodes into, podcasts. So I got the idea to, start a podcast, because one, the attention was going to, podcasts, and secondly, I wanted the freedom to talk about what I wanted to talk about.  On the, radio, you’re regulated, you’re in kind of a regulated industry; you can’t mention or talk about certain things; so there’s no freedom in, radio.

Not so for a, podcast. You can talk about anything within reason on a, podcast. You can curse, talk about sex or whatever you want. That’s how Genni Media my, podcast production company, was born. Now  my company Ginni Media is a boutique Podcast Production Company serving the vision of entrepreneurs, celebrities and influential organizations around the world. Specializing in, podcast production, and content re-purposing, they provide a concierge-style service to ensure your voice is literally being heard where it needs to be.

That’s awesome, if you are reading this and working hard at something and not seeing any fruit, just keep on working and building.  Keep on sowing seeds at some point in time it’s going to grow into a forest.

I was listening to Joel Osteen this morning and he it can take a year, it can take ten years, or it can even take 30 years! You have to have faith.

LBGQ podcasts and radio

How did you have the courage to introduce your sexuality on your show even though it was a criminalized act in your home country of Sri Lanka?

Well I kind of lived a bit of a fragmented life back then. My family even though then I was on an a Gay radio station, weren’t exactly aware that I Gay. My mother never questioned me about the content of the show. They didn’t find out until about six or seven years later.  I was doing a TV segment,  I was like about twenty three years old.

My sister knew and certain cousins of mine knew,  I didn’t really feel the need to come out because I don’t think it’s necessarily something that needs to be announced, because if you are in a heterosexual relationship, you don’t sit your parents down and tell them. So I was doing this TV segment in Australia on channel 31 at 10:00 p.m. on a Monday night. I didn’t think anyone in my family would be watching a Gay game show program at 10.00 pm on a Monday.  But apparently my auntie and uncle were watching and they heard me say I am Ginni and I am Gay!

How to, create and produce podcasts, that entertain, empower and engage audiences?

Download  to listen to the full interview with Ginni to learn some tips for creating and producing your podcast.

Now on Podbean, CastboxDeezer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, and Stitcher

Please subscribe and leave a review on iTunes Here

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Additional Resources to, create and produce podcast

https://redd.it/b9gqxa

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-a-diamond-by-finding-your-purpose/

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New Demographic Research Shows Who Really Listens to Podcasts

How to Unleash The Power Within

We are connected to, divine consciousness, and so we come pre-loaded with the power of the Universe, we need to learn how to unleash, the power within.

This week on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast with coach Myrna, I interview Dr Donavan Outten, Dr Outten is going to share “How to unleash your, inner greatness, also called, the power within, so you can tap into the person God intended you to be.

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Tip of the week: Are you Desperate and Determined?

A few weeks ago, my pastor preached on the 3 D’s
Desperate, Determined and Dependent!
You see the 3 D’s require a mindset shift. 
In order to, unleash power within, we must become desperate, determined and dependent. We see numerous times in the bible when God promoted and elevated people who were either desperate, determined or dependent on him for victory.
We see that every miracle begins with a desperate problem.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Esther was born with the power within

The story begins with Ahasuerus, ruler of the Persian Empire, holding a lavish banquet, initially for his court and dignitaries and afterwards for all inhabitants of the capital city, Shushan.
On the seventh day, Ahasuerus orders the queen, Vashti, to come and display her beauty before the guests by wearing only her crown. She refuses. Furious, Ahasuerus has her removed from her position and makes arrangements to choose a new queen from a selection of beautiful young women from throughout the empire.
One of these is the Jewish orphan, Esther. After the death of her parents, she was fostered by her cousin, Mordecai. She finds favor in the King’s eyes, and is crowned his new queen.
Ahasuerus appoints Haman as his viceroy. Mordecai, who sits at the palace gates, falls into Haman’s disfavor, as he refuses to bow down to him. Having discovered that Mordecai is Jewish, Haman plans to kill not just Mordecai, but all the Jews in the empire.
As the story unfolds, Esther the Jewish orphan turned queen, used her place as queen to intercede with the King; her desperation made her, unleash power within, her and risk death, because it was against the law to present herself to the King unsummoned. This was punishable by death.
Her determination, desperation and dependence on God, saved the Jews of the Persian Empire, she, unleashed, the power within.

Bio

Dr. Donavan Outten is a powerful trainer, consultant, educator and administrator with over 20 years’ experience. He is the Associate Vice President of Academic Affairs at Webster University.
Dr. Outten is a published author of 2 books, one of which is our topic today. Unleash your inner greatness: A guide to overcoming obstacles and Tapping into the person God meant you to be.
Dr Outten writes books to inspire and motivate individuals to achieve greatness in their lives.
His research focuses on developing young African American Students in higher education. He has also produced seminars, lectures, classes, assessments and workshops throughout the United States and Caribbean.
Dr. Outten earned his Doctorate degree in Educational Leadership from Nova.
Southeastern University, his Masters in Human Resource Development & Administration from Barry University and Bachelors in Psychology from Bethune Cookman University.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

Unleashing the power within 

Question 1. I know that unleashing our, inner greatness, our, the power within, is your space. Can you tell our audience what does it mean to, Unleash our, Inner Greatness,” and a little of why you chose this topic as the subject of your book.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Question 2. So what are some of the obstacles to unleashing, the power within?

Most children today are taught not to question authority, so they go about their lives always looking for someone to direct them and never focusing on their inner strength or, power within.

Question 3. Where does the power within, come from?

We are connected to source energy. If you take a droplet of water from the ocean, it has the same properties as the entire body of the ocean. Similarly we came from God or source, so we have the same powers. We just need to, unleash, the power within.

Question 4. How does an individual muster up enough strength to have such strong determination to finish a task or overcome a devastating life situation?

• Where do they find the courage to stand up for what they believe in or battle back from a medical condition that almost took their life?

• How does one leave a secure job to start a business that they are passionate about?

• What is the secret to obtaining determination and maintaining it over a period of time?
• What kinds of people have it, and what is determination?

book Unleash your inner greatness
book Unleash your inner greatness

Determination unlocks your inner greatness

Dr Outten says, “In my heart, I truly believe that determination is having the will to move forward in spite of what obstacle, barrier, or difficulty you might be facing. It is looking adversity in the face and not backing down, but pushing forward with tenacity and unleash, the power within.

He feels that Self-determination starts on the inside. It is first a thought or a belief that you can or will succeed no matter the problem you have to face. You believe in yourself even when no one else does. That spells confidence, character, and courage.

Question 5. What are some other obstacles to unleashing our, inner greatness?

Resilience: The path toward nurturing a, resilient mindset, and lifestyle is a road
that should not be taken lightly. This path has many bumps, twists, turns, and potholes
and is never straightforward. The road often contains obstacles and detours
that interfere with reaching your destination.

Passion: Your passion does not usually appear overnight. It has been dwelling
inside you for a long time. As a child, what were you passionate about? As a
teenager, what were you passionate about? As a young adult, what were you
passionate about? Often times, you will identify a pattern in what you are
passionate about. It is up to you to identify what it is and go after it.
When turning your, passion into profit, you have to be careful and work smarter,
not harder. You will run into a lot of obstacles and need to face your fears, as
things probably won’t go as smoothly as you’d like them to go. It’s all a part of
the journey.

Destiny: Destiny can be referred to as a predetermined course of events. It may
be conceived as a predetermined future, whether in general or of an individual.
What you perceive your future to be will come to pass if you work for it, believe
in it, and live your life towards it.
What you have today does not reflect what you will obtain tomorrow. If you have
the capability of looking into your future and seeing what lies ahead, then all you
have to do is work towards your goal.
Walking towards your destiny is no easy task because you will have obstacles and
hurdles along the way. There will be road blocks that will make you think that
you are going down the wrong path, but you will need to have patience,
endurance, and faith. Your faith will play a big part in finding and fulfilling your
destiny; you will need to seek guidance from God and, unleash power within.

Question 6. I know that you work predominately with the African American youth. What advice would you give them on being determined and staying the course?
You have to better than good, you have to be great.
You have to work twice as hard for the same opportunity as your white counterparts.

If you find this content valuable, please share and subscribe to my iTunes by clicking the link below:
Transform Your Mind with coach Myrna

 

Additional Resources

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

 

 

 

4 Techniques to Outsmart Your Brain

Acres of diamonds

Welcome to the Mindset Transformation radio show and Podcast. Today Dr. Marcia Reynolds is going to teach us “4 Techniques to, Outsmart your Brain” Relax, Detach, gain clarity and ask yourself, How do I want to feel?

But First in keeping with that theme I want to share with you one of the classic stories of how our Brain can Outsmart us.

Acres of Diamonds

There once lived not far from the River Indus an ancient Persian by the name of Al Hafed. Al Hafed owned a very large farm with orchards, grain fields and gardens. He was a contented and wealthy man—contented because he was wealthy, and wealthy because he was contented. One day there visited this old farmer one of those ancient Buddhist priests, and he sat down by Al Hafed’s fire and told that old farmer how this world of ours was made.

He said that this world was once a mere bank of fog and the Almighty thrust his finger into the bank of fog and then began slowly to move his finger around and gradually to increase the speed of his finger until at last he whirled that bank of fog into a solid ball of fire, and it went rolling through the universe, burning its way through other cosmic banks of fog, until it condensed the moisture without, and fell in floods of rain upon the heated surface and cooled the outward crust.

Then the internal flames burst through the cooling crust and threw up the mountains and made the hills and the valleys of this wonderful world of ours. If this internal melted mass burst out and cooled very quickly it became granite; that which cooled less quickly became silver; and less quickly, gold; and after gold, diamonds were made. Said the old priest, “A, diamond, is a congealed drop of sunlight.”

Finding your diamonds in your back yard

This is a scientific truth also. You all know that a diamond is pure carbon, actually deposited sunlight. The old priest told Al Hafed that if he had a handful of diamonds he could purchase a whole country, and with a mine of diamonds he could place his children upon thrones through the influence of their great wealth.

Al Hafed heard all about, diamonds, and how much they were worth, and went to his bed that night a poor man—not that he had lost anything, but poor because he was discontented and discontented because he thought he was poor. He said: “I want a mine of, diamonds!” So he lay awake all night, and early in the morning sought out the priest.

Reminds me of the story I tell my children about the dog and his shadow. If you are not familiar, a dog is walking over a bridge and sees another dog with a bone. He decides he wants that bone as well and jumps in and loses the bone he has in his mouth because what he saw was not another dog but his own shadow. It is a story of discontent and greed!

Getting back to our story. Al Hafed woke the priest out of his dreams and said to him, “Will you tell me where I can find, diamonds?” The priest said, “Diamonds? What do you want with diamonds?” “I want to be immensely rich,” said Al Hafed, “but I don’t know where to go.” “Well,” said the priest, “if you will find a river that runs over white sand between high mountains, in those sands you will always see, diamonds.”

“Do you really believe that there is such a river asked al Hafed?” The priest replied “Plenty of them, plenty of them; all you have to do is just go and find them, then you have them.” Al Hafed said, “I will go.” So he sold his farm, collected his money at interest, left his family in charge of a neighbor, and away he went in search of diamonds.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Searching for what you already have

He began at the Mountains of the Moon. Afterwards he went around into Palestine, then wandered on into Europe, and at last, when his money was all spent, and he was in rags, wretchedness and poverty, he stood on the shore of that bay in Barcelona, Spain, when a tidal wave came rolling in through the Pillars of Hercules and the poor, afflicted, suffering man could not resist the awful temptation to cast himself into that incoming tide, and he sank beneath its foaming crest, never to rise in this life again.

Now, Al Hafed’s successor one day led his camel out into the garden to drink, and as that camel put its nose down into the clear water of the garden brook Al Hafed’s successor noticed a curious flash of light from the sands of the shallow stream, and reaching in he pulled out a black stone having an eye of light that reflected all the colors of the rainbow, and he took that curious pebble into the house and left it on the mantel, then went on his way and forgot all about it.

A few days after that, this same old priest who told Al Hafed how diamonds were made, came in to visit his successor, when he saw that flash of light from the mantel. He rushed up and said, “Here is a, diamond,—here is a diamond! Has Al Hafed returned?” “No, no; Al Hafed has not returned and that is not a diamond; that is nothing but a stone; we found it right out here in our garden.” “But I know a, diamond, when I see it,” the priest said; “this is a diamond!”

Then together they rushed to the garden and stirred up the white sands with their fingers and found others more beautiful, more valuable, diamonds, than the first, and thus were discovered the diamond mines of Golconda, the most magnificent diamond mines in all the history of mankind, exceeding the Kimberley in its value. The great Kohinoor diamond in England’s crown jewels and the largest crown diamond on earth in Russia’s crown jewels came from that mine.

The moral to the story is had Al Hafed remained at home and dug in his own cellar or in his own garden he would have had, acres of diamonds. 

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Download on Spotify

We are are all diamonds

We are all, Acres of Diamonds,  Each and every one of us is unique with acres of talent and gifts. If we dig we will find them. Don’t be like Al Hafed and go looking for riches elsewhere. You are all, diamonds, in the rough.

Now let me tell you a little more of our guest today.

Dr. Marcia Reynolds is fascinated by the, brain, especially how to, outsmart your brain, what sparks feelings of connection, commitment, and possibility. She is able to draw on her research to help leaders have more meaningful conversations that inspire change. She has delivered workshops in 35 countries and has presented at the Harvard Kennedy School, Cornell University, and the Edwards School of Management in Canada.

Marcia is a true pioneer in the coaching profession. She was the 5th global president of the International Coach Federation and is the training director for the Healthcare Coaching Institute at Virginia Tech. She also teaches for coaching schools in Russia and China.

Interviews and excerpts from her books, Outsmart Your Brain, Wander Woman, and her latest, The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations into Breakthroughs have appeared in many places including Fast Company, CNN.com, Psychology Today, and The Wall Street Journal and she has appeared on ABC World News.

Marcia’s doctoral degree is in organizational psychology with an emphasis on the needs of strong, smart women in today’s corporations. She also holds two master’s degrees in education and communications.

Show Notes:

• What do mean by, Outsmart your brain.
The primary purpose of the, brain, is to protect you and to keep you safe.
Anytime you say something to someone that is critical they get defensive and they get defensive without thought.  To, outsmart your brain, is really about making good choices. Stopping and asking what is my, brain, perceiving here and what is really true. You have to know how to stop, breathe and make good choices.
You have to shift your emotions. Take 10 sec to remember to care, take 10 sec to realize that this person is not trying to hurt me.
You have to change your emotion to change your thought to, outsmart your brain.

Here are the 4 Techniques to change your emotions and outsmart your brain. 

1. Relax your body, release the tension. Take a breath let it out
2. Clear your mind. Quickly drop your mind to the center of your body
3. Center your mind on your Chi or 2nd Chakra
4. Choose how you want to feel.
• What prompts your brain to do things that sabotage your best intentions
The brain perceives a threat to something so it protects you.
If you are afraid it sees danger and sabotages your efforts.

Is there something we can do to stop reacting?
You have to understand your emotions triggers.
They are there to protect you.
Like respect in the workplace.
The, brain, reacts because it may think that someone is trying to take control over you

How can we use our heart and brain to control our emotions?

Quiet your mind and ask your mind or gut. What should I do?
Take a breath and go into your heart and then you usually say something better
When your heart and your gut is open then you have access to all three of your brains
Your brain, your heart and your gut.

Are the brains of men and women wired differently?
We are born with the same wiring but whatever is rewarded as we aged that is what we become. Women were more head and gut based and men were more head based but that is changing.
Men are becoming more heart based because they are being raised by women.

www.Outsmartyourbain.com

Go to discomfort zone resources for outsmarting your brain.
Contact Dr Marcia at marcia@outsmartyourbrain.com

web: http://www.myrnayounghelps.com
Author: “Out of the Snares”
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE
MyHelps Youtube channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8p2lfxF2GhOihRv8N3EZeA

How To Transform Behavior in the Workplace

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna

How to Transform Behavior in the Workplace

Gena Yuvette Davis, a board certified executive coach, corporate trainer and organizational development consultant. “How to Transform Behavior in the Workplace” to facilitate workplace well being

In keeping with my custom, I would like to share with you my tip of the week from coach Myrna.
Since Gena is going to talk today on How to, Transform, Behavior, in the, workplace, I want to share “How to, transform, your life by  removing  old conditioning.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

How to Remove old conditioning:

The physical component of the mind body connection, is the brain.
The mind is the software and the physical brain is the hardware.
If your brain, the hardware, is stuck in old patterns, even with the best of intentions, the software, the mind, won’t work.
If you let your brain keep you repeating the same patterns, you become like a biological robot.
Your words thoughts and actions become totally predictable.
We are all victims of repetitive patterns.

To change the patterns that are not serving you, the solution is awareness.

Here are 5, Behaviors, that are usually automatic.

1: Snacking non – stop even when not hungry
2: Spending too much time on the couch watching TV
3: Overspending your way into debt
4: Eating too much fast foods
5: Skipping breakfast
6: Late night snacking
7: Smoking cigarettes

How can you bring awareness to these, behaviors, and interrupt your pattern?

Let’s look at.
Snacking non stop
– whenever you feel the need to grab that bag of chips, stop and ask yourself
What am I really needing?
What need is this food really filling?

The moment you take a moment to think about your action, you interrupt your pattern.
You are on your way to breaking that habit. Even if you still eat that bag of chips.
You are on to way to removing old conditioning. Awareness is the key.

Another way to remove old conditioning and, behavior, is to:

  •  Change your state
    Let’s say you are sitting on the couch and you reach for the bowl of nachos on the table or the bags of chips from our previous example.
    Just as you think the thought to command your hands to reach for the bowl; Change your state!
    Get up and walk to the bathroom or to the mailbox. Move your physical body into a different position.
  • The 3rd way you can remove old conditioning or, behavior, is to:
  • Create a new habit – rewire the physical component.
Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Let look at our example of skipping Breakfast.
Make it easy.
– buy a drinkable breakfast and grab it on the way out of the door.
– have your partner make you breakfast.
– prepare a sandwich the night before and eat on the way to work.
– set the alarm 15 mins earlier.

These are a few ways to remove old conditioning and, transform, behavior, in your personal life:

  1. •Authentically committed to empowering and inspiring others to be their best selves, Gena specializes in working with clients from a variety of industries who are on the fast track to taking their careers to next level. She is also a change agent for organizations who wish to transform their companies into diverse, collaborative and thriving work forces. Her drive and energy is infectious as she is able to elevate her clients and help them live to their true potential.

    • Gena’s coaching, training and consulting style is intuitive, always full of energy, and with a touch of gentle persistence! Knowing that the answers are already within, Gena’s job is simply to be the way-shower of what is already known to be true – “success attained.” She is dedicated to assisting individuals and organizations to achieve excellence in ways that support integrity and a collaborative spirit and to achieve their purpose.
  2. In addition to executive coaching and training in the areas of emotional intelligence, leadership effectiveness, communication skills and reputation management, her work includes a variety of strategic consulting services such as strategic planning, change management, retreat planning and facilitation, employee engagement, team-building, as well as diversity and inclusion initiatives. Her focus is on developing collaborative processes and as a thinking partner to foster learning, dialogue, and innovation.
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

• Podcast interview Questions Transform Your Mind Podcast

Best Practices to Transform Behavior In the Workplace

• 1) What is “Behavioral Transformation using ETT ?”

Emotional Transformation Therapy (ETT)

Emotional Transformation Therapy (ETT),

a therapeutic method incorporating the use of light, color wavelengths, and eye movements, aims to rapidly transform emotional distress and related physical pain into a positive emotional state.

Professionals trained in ETT work to help those in therapy address trauma and other pain and achieve lasting, healing change.

Emotional Transformation Therapy, developed by contemporary psychologist Dr. Stephen Vazquez in 1991, is a relatively new form of therapy. Vazquez’s studies in the fields of epigenetics, optometry, neurobiology, and quantum physics influenced various aspects of his development of ETT as he attempted to establish a therapeutic technique beneficial for the reduction of emotional and physical distress. His noninvasive, non-pharmaceutical approach combines traditional psychotherapy with the use of visual brain stimulation and colored light therapy for reportedly fast results.

ETT draws on the concepts of interpersonal therapy and visual brain stimulation therapy. This research-driven approach is used by trained practitioners to transform emotional distress without the use of drugs and medications. ETT aims to help the person in treatment move swiftly from a difficult emotional state into a more positive emotional state—from despair to empowerment, unhappiness to joy, or trepidation to courage, and so on—through the remedial use of light and color wavelengths, which can be administered through a light box designed specifically for ETT.

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Download on Spotify

HOW DOES ETT WORK in TRANSFORMING, BEHAVIOR?

Many people who seek therapy do so when they experience mentally or physically unpleasant states or feel trapped by their emotions, feelings, memories, or current situation. In ETT, neural impulses are used in conjunction with specific forms of eye movement and stimulation to target these uncomfortable emotional and physical states in the corresponding areas of the brain.

Specifically, the brain is stimulated with lights and colors in order to reshape the neural impulses affecting the brain and the nervous system. The therapist observes the emotional responses of the person in therapy and helps facilitate productive regulation through verbal cues meant to induce rapid emotional and behavioral changes.

Discoveries in light therapy show particular wavelengths of light to be able to help transform a person’s emotional state when administered properly. ETT theory, which is grounded in this principle, incorporates interaction between the therapist and the person in therapy to create what proponents of ETT believe to be an effective method for the rapid restoration of a positive emotional state.

• 2) Why is behavioral transformation so difficult?
• 3) What are the different communication and behavioral styles?
• 4) What are three best practices to behavioral transformation in the workplace
• 5) What can we do to be our own advocates for change?
• 6) Can we really transform our work environment through behavioral transformation? How?

Follow Coach Myrna
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web: www.myrnayounghelps.com
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email Coach Myrna Young @info@myhelps.us

Please subscribe to this podcast on iTunes so you can Transform your Mind for success.

Additional Resources

How to become Limitless: Emotional Intelligence Leadership

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

 

Happiness! The Universal goal of everyone who has breathe. So how can you find happiness after a divorce?

Coach Dan Willms talks about how your behavior affects your happiness. I agree; but here are my thoughts.

What is happiness?

Let’s start with what it is not.

  • It is not how much money you have.
    It is not how big your house is.
    It is not what kind of car you drive.
    It is not found in any external thing!
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Here are 3 ways to find, happiness, after a divorce:

1. Your relationship with yourself.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you.
3. And your relationship with God.

Let’s look at each of these
As you can see, relationship is key.

We are social beings, we need connection, even it is one person.
That is why people commit suicide at Christmas, because while everyone is celebrating with family and friends they are alone.
It is also the reason that social media is so powerful, it allows connection to others.

Out of the Snares of rape

I will share a story.
This woman from Toronto sent me a friend request on Facebook. She was the friend of one of my friends. I accepted. Then she started reaching out to me about coaching and about my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” .

I found out her story.
Raped twice when she was a teenager, sent to live with her father in another country who abandoned her, got pregnant and gave her child up for adoption. She was living in a studio apartment alone. Facebook was her lifeline. You don’t know who is on the other end of that friend request!
So if you are lonely, connect!

These are a different training and a different mindset to come from a perspective of abundance instead of lack and limitation, and that’s really where my internal work has been. Each time I shift up belief, a thought, a perspective from lack and limitation to one of abundance, my life just expands and explodes.

You know what society says is this is accomplished, then you’ll feel successful and a lot of people get there, and they feel empty, they feel like that it doesn’t have much meaning in their lives or they’re not feeling satisfied or fulfilled. The truth is that as long as we’re chasing things outside of ourselves we’re always projecting our happiness or our fulfillment outside of ourselves. Fulfillment is never outside of ourselves, it’s within ourselves and it’s in the present moment. where all of our power exists.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

1. Let’s look First at your relationship with yourself.

The first secret to finding happiness, You have to love yourself.
If you can’t love yourself, no one else can love you. If you can’t love yourself, you can never be happy!

You can start by finding one thing about you, that you love.
Come on, God knew what he was doing when he created you. Everyone has at least one thing that makes them stand out.
One of my daughter’s friend’s laments about the fact that she has no breasts and no curves. She can’t find a boyfriend. Why? Because she projects that and that is what the men see. Not loving herself shows up in other ways in a relationship.

Now look at some women who do not fit the cultural norm of beauty and weight. I can guaranty you that in every situation if she loves herself, she will be in a healthy relationship.
Plus, if there is something you can change about something you don’t like about yourself, do it.
If you can’t change it, find a different perspective on it and learn to love it.

2. Your relationship with those closest to you

A mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a best friend, a spouse are top on the list of level 5 intimate, relationships. A level 5, relationship, is a relationship with someone who knows your intimate secrets. Someone who you share everything with and they with you. If you have someone like this in your life. You are blessed indeed.
Now you may be wondering why I did not add children to that list. Children gives us profound happiness especially when they are young. But you can’t share secrets with your children so they don’t provide the intimacy we look for to be happy.
To be happy find a level 5 friend and cry on their shoulders!

3. Your relationship with God.

The beauty of having a relationship with God is that it alone can make you happy. If you have a relationship with God, you will love yourself, you will be happy alone because you feel God’s presence with you always, your relationships will be healthy because you will love unconditionally because that is what God teaches us to do. You will find opportunities to bless others and that will make you happy.
A relationship with God is not just going to church, it is not just knowing scripture, it is not just about tithing. The relationship I am talking about is being in direct communication with God.
Going to God with your issues and struggles and seeing him make a way out of no way. Seeing him turn the weapons formed against you into blessings. Being able to receive guidance from the Holy Spirit every day. When you walk in that space everything else in your life falls into place.

You will not only find happiness again, but you will find bliss!

Listen to the full episode on YouTube
_blank”>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vxDGuSyiHQ

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Who is Tending your Mind Garden?

Tending your mind garden

 

As a gardener of your, mind, you have to be vigilant about tending your, mind garden. Imagine your, mind, as a garden. Positive thoughts are the beautiful flowers that brighten your life. Negative thoughts are the ugly weeds that spread and suffocate your happiness, by cutting off sunlight. Just like plants we need sunlight to thrive.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha

Negative thoughts can take the form of fear, self-doubt, guilt, anger, blame, insecurity, prophesying or any thought that makes you feel bad! 

Garden your, mind, to kill the ANTS, Automatic Negative Thoughts

The mind garden of fear

Fear  – defined as false events appearing real, is the number one reason that we don’t achieve success in this life, it grows when we don’t tend our, mind garden. Fear of the unknown, that feeling of uncertainty. Our, minds, spin tales of past events when we failed or of someone we knew who failed.  One way to Kill this, automatic negative thought,  or weed in our, mind garden, is to imagine what is the worst that could happen.

If you hate your job and are afraid to leave for fear that you would be able to find another job that pays as much or more than you are making now; talk back to this fear and say that you are skilled and you would so get another job. If the worst that could happen is that you run out of money and can’t eat or become homeless; then you plan ahead and either find another job before you quit or acquire the necessary skills to get the job you want. Doing nothing because you are afraid should never be an option. There is also a positive side to this ANT or weed in your, mind garden.

If you are afraid of losing something be it your spouse, your job, your home; it tells you that these things are important to you and that you should do the necessary due diligence to keep them. For example if you fear losing your spouse, then you should work on keeping the marriage fresh, you should keep yourself attractive and don’t let yourself get to 300 lbs and you should serve your spouse and make them feel special.

 

Self-doubt grows in your mind garden

Lack of confidence is a very powerful, automatic negative thought, or weed that could unchecked in your, mind garden. One of the most essential character traits to have is confidence. It is sexy and it allows you to command attention. When this, automatic negative thoughts, is telling you that you are not good enough, you will not get that promotion because you don’t have a degree for example; talk back and tell it that you are the best person for this job and that it is their loss if they don’t hire you.

Tend to your, mind garden, and pull up this weed.  If you don’t, you will never move from where you are today. You will never be an over achiever or the top sales person on a team! You need self-confidence to achieve success.

Guilt is a weed in your mind garden 

Guilt, is a result of your conscience in your, mind, telling you that you have violated your own core value. It is telling you that you did something that is moving you away from your predetermined goal. You can pull up this weed from your, mind garden,  by telling yourself that you recognize your mistake and that you have forgiven yourself. Don’t let the guilt and shame arrest you and keep your, mind, in bondage.

Anger – Anger ANTS, automatic negative thoughts,  keep telling you that someone had no right to do something. The more you think about it, the angrier you get. Psychologists say that anger is like an iceberg, what you see is just the tip but there is more ice for miles below the surface. If you are conscious you have an Anger Management problem, then you should understand (with the help of a Therapist) what is causing your anger.  You can pull up this weed from your, mind garden, by telling this , automatic negative thought, that you cannot control what someone else does; the only person you can control is yourself.

Blame – this, automatic negative thought, can be very destructive. When you blame others for the results you are having in your life, you assume the role of the victim. As the victim, you have no power to facilitate change. You pluck this ANT from your, mind garden, by becoming a player. As a player you take back control. Regardless of what the dealer is showing, you can still win! You are not the product of your circumstances. Everybody has a story, it is how you handle adversity and challenges that define and grow you.

Prophesying – the prophesying, automatic negative thought, talks to you about what it knows about the future! It tells you things like “you are never going to close that sale”. “The customer is going to string you along and they will never buy” or “it is never going to work out”. You remove this ANT from your, mind garden, by declaring that you cannot predict the future. You do not have a crystal ball!

Automatic negative thoughts are the weeds in your mind garden

My, Automatic Negative Thoughts, generally take the form of conversations. These ANTS usually starts crawling when I get a trigger. You know what happens when you step on an Ants nest? The Ants all run out at the same and start attacking, they bite!

Tony Robbins teaches about anchors and how to replace the negative ones with positive ones. If you have this problem you should check out his book “The Power Within“. The way I handle these, automatic negative thoughts,  is by shaking my head when I become conscious that they are crawling around. I physically shake my head like I am trying to shake them off me, then I bring my attention to my breathing for a few minutes. If they come back again and they usually do, I download them in my journal and that usually takes care of the problem for me and frees my, mind.  This is how I tend my, mind garden. 

I tend the Garden of my mind by becoming Conscious of the thoughts that make me feel bad!

Positive thoughts on the other hand are like flowers, they beautify your gardens and bring smiles to anyone who stops and pays attention to their beauty; in a similar way positive thoughts make you beautiful to anyone who you have interpersonal relations with. But the beauty of positive thoughts is that they make you feel good. It is not only sex that makes you feel good!

Tending to the garden of your, mind, is an ongoing process.

I’ve seen firsthand how dangerous it is to let the weeds of negative thinking take over your, mind, and just like in your natural garden the weeds thrive more than the flowers or plants. In a similar way when you allow the, automatic negative thoughts, to run free in your head; they snuff all the joy out of your life. All you see is darkness, because they are blocking the sunlight from getting in! Let’s look at a garden metaphor to bring an awareness of what happens when weeds take over a garden. Left alone the weeds flourish, creating a dark, tangled mess.

Is your, mind garden, full of weeds?

 

This morning I stepped outside and noticed one of the largest weeds I have ever seen. I didn’t notice it before because it looked like a tree. It had a trunk, and was taller than the other flowers. I thought to myself; how on earth could a weed grow so strong and big?  The answer is simple:  their purpose is to take the nutrients from the plants, so they get big when your plants become weak and die.

So it is too with your, mind: An unattended, mind, can create havoc for you because your, mind, is amazingly receptive to whatever suggestions may be dropped into it. It has been said that the subconscious mind cannot take a joke. This simply means that whatever belief is introduced to it, it takes seriously as an instruction to grow that thought-seed into a full-blown plant–be it a rose or a weed, and it can’t tell the difference.

How to plant positive seeds in your, mind garden

When you stop and consider how many thought-seeds are purposefully planted in your, mind garden, on a daily basis, it may cause you to tend to your mental garden with a bit more regularity. This is in addition to all the seeds that were planted in your mind unconsciously. As you listen to the radio, watch TV or even sit in a restaurant where others are talking, your mind hears it ALL, irrespective of whether you are conscious of it or not. Given what’s going on in our world today with all of the talk that comes from fear and anger, this is a vital point to grasp. Even when you engage in gossip or negative conversation with or about others, your subconscious mind hears it all. Be careful of the seeds you let in.

A, mind, expanded with an implanted thought cannot be returned back to its original form.  Leonardo DiCaprio starred in this complicated movie called “inception”, the implantation of another person’s idea into a target’s subconscious.[Hollywood understands this concept. The only way to avoid this type of mind pollution is to be consciously focused on positive activities and limit news and gossip.

There are some companies that have a zero tolerance for gossip. They treat it like a cancer and remove the gossiper immediately.

The action you and I need to take is clear isn’t it? It has been proven that the human mind thinks thousands of thoughts a day. Instead of planting a mixed bag of thousands of various seeds, from fearful to simply confused and unfocused thought-seeds, which will require a full time gardener to pull up the weeds, why not specialize in planting one or two types of seed? Plant thought-seeds about yourself and others that are rooted in reverence and loving-kindness.

Plant seeds that focus on God’s Presence at the center and circumference of all you say think and do, at work, home, or play.

Be mindful…be skillful in the seeds you plant and how you nurture them. Your life is your garden; keep the weeds out because that is one way in which you can personally beautify our world. You owe that much to yourself and to those who receive the benefit of  the seeds you plant along the way.

Additional Resources

https://www.priorygroup.com/mental-health/anger-management/symptoms-of-anger-management

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201812/fear-false-evidence-appearing-real

 

https://blog.myhelps.us/principle-4-have-a-positive-mind-set/

Seven Ways Spirituality Helps Fulfillment of Dreams

spirituality

For the soul, spirituality, is how it chooses  to evolve through physical life. While we are incarnate, pursuing our, dreams, we can follow the path to,  fulfillment.  We are both the source and the recipients of the gifts of the Universe and God.

Spirituality, and awakening is natural. The process is similar to waking up in the
morning and opening your eyes to the light. Your light is personal to you
expressing your inner vision.

Dreams, come true by merging your inner and outer life. We all have wishes and, dreams, to fulfill. For, spiritually, to be valid, it must be useful in bringing, fulfillment.

There are seven levels of, fulfillment. When you are fully connected to the light of being, which is the light of the self, your light shines beyond all things on earth, beyond the highest heavens. This is the light that shines within you!

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Seven Levels of, Spirituality and Fulfillment

1: The level of Pure Potential – We are in our essential state pure, consciousness. Pure, consciousness, is pure, potential energy. It is the field of all possibilities and infinite creativity. When you discover your essential nature and know who you really are, in that knowing itself is the ability to fulfill any, dreams, you have; because you are the eternal possibility, the immeasurable, potential energy, of all that was, is and will be! One way to access these, spirituality gifts, is through the daily practice of silence, meditation and Life Coaching.

2: Fulfillment, from Giving – Your body, mind and the Universe are in constant and dynamic change. Stopping the circulation of, potential energy, is like stopping the flow of blood. Whenever blood stops flowing, it begins to clot, to stagnate. That is why you must give and receive in order to keep wealth, affluence, love, respect …or anything you want…Circulating in your life.

I practice not only giving to God, but, giving to the homeless, and everyone I meet. It could be a smile, a compliment or a prayer. The most powerful forms of giving and, spirituality, are the non-material. The gifts of caring, attention, affection, appreciation and love are some of the most precious gifts you can give or receive for, fulfillment.

3: Fulfillment, from Sowing and Reaping – Everyone has heard the expression “whatever you sow, you shall reap”. It is obvious that if we want to create happiness in our lives, we must learn, sowing and reaping.  Sowing the seeds that will grow Happiness. Therefore, we must life consciously, making good choices because, the law of sowing and reaping, is finite.

Whether you like it or not, everything that is happening to you at this moment is a direct result of the choices you’ve made in the past, sowing and reaping.  You cannot alter the past, but you can make the choice to design your future. Start now with the help of a Spiritual Life Coach. The more you bring your choices into the level of your, consciousness, and  awareness, the more you will make those choices which are spontaneously correct for both you and those around you.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

4: Fulfillment, from Love –

When you seek money and power for the sake of the ego, you spend energy chasing the illusion of happiness from material things, instead of enjoying the happiness of the moment. On the other hand, when your actions are motivated by love, your energy multiplies and accumulates and the surplus can be channeled to create anything you want; including unlimited wealth and optimal levels of, spirituality.

5: Fulfillment, from The Desires of your Heart –

The whole Universe, in its essential mature, is the movement of energy and information. You can consistently change the energy and information of your own Quantum mechanical body and therefore influence the energy and informational content of your extended body…your environment, your world… and cause things to happen.

In other words “You become what you think about, most of the time”. The quality of your intention on the object of your attention will orchestrate an infinity of space-time events to bring about the outcome intended. So, never, never give up on your dreams.

6: Fulfillment, from Detachment –

Detachment, does not mean you give up the intention to create your desire. Instead, you give up your attachment to the result. The moment you relinquish your attachment to the result and just believe that it will be yours; you will have that which you desire. Detachment, is based on the unquestioning belief in the power of God.

Detachment, is also synonymous with wealth, consciousness, because with, detachment, there is freedom to create. True wealth, consciousness, is the ability to have anything you want, anytime you want and with little effort. Start creating your wealth. Call for a free consultation

7: Fulfillment, from being on Purpose –

We have taken manifestation in physical form to fulfill a purpose. There is something that you can do better than anyone else in this whole world. There are also unique needs. When these needs are matched with creative expression of talent, there is a spark that creates affluence.

Expressing your talents to fulfill needs creates unlimited wealth and abundance. It is said that “who you seek, is seeking you” my talent is to HELP you in discovering your purpose and fulfilling your destiny by creating awareness, discovering your essential nature, making conscious choices and co-creating for you and your loved ones.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Spirituality, and Mental Health

Many researchers have demonstrated that, spirituality, plays a significant role in the lives of people, their thoughts, and behaviors. The effect of, spirituality, on mental health has been reviewed. In order to make further advances in the field it is becoming increasingly important to

(a) acknowledge the differences between the different religions;

(b) develop context-specific definitions of, spirituality, namely define, spirituality, in the context of a particular faith; and (c) construct the studies that will evaluate, spirituality, according to the context-specific measures. This approach will enable us to carry out comprehensive studies of analytical and comparative nature, and generate groundbreaking results in this research field.

Additional Resources 
https://chopra.com/articles/the-law-of-pure-potentiality

https://innerself.com/content/personal/spirituality-mindfulness/mindfulness/6071-pure-potentiality.html

https://blog.myhelps.us/sex-and-spiritual-energy-the-tree-of-life/

https://blog.myhelps.us/transform-your-mind-personal-development-podcast/

10 Ways Childhood Trauma Impacts our Ability to Love

Child sexual abuse - break the silence

10 ways that, childhood trauma, can sabotage your love life and relationships. Relationship Coach Riana Milne joins The Transform your Mind podcast to discuss, childhood trauma, and how it impacts our adult life. Riana is the best selling author of “Love Beyond your Dreams” and “From Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success.”

For anyone who have had trouble maintaining healthy relationships, listen to find out if your have any of the, childhood trauma, that can affect your love relationships.

 

How Childhood Trauma affects Adults
How Childhood Trauma affects Adults

IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:

How does, childhood trauma, impact adults in life and love?
Riana goes over ten, childhood traumas, and relate them back to how they show up in our lives as an adult.
To get the most out of this topic, Riana advise the listeners to Get a sheet of paper and make three columns.

The first column you put “ME”, the second column you put “Your partner” and the third column you put “Your parents” because research shows, childhood trauma, go through the generations.

iHeart Radio

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-Transform-your-Mind-29542107/

So here are the ten, childhood traumas:

As I speak them remember that when you were child you’re very young and innocent all you knew is what mom and dad modeled to you so there’s
nothing to feel guilt or shame about.
I don’t want people to say no it didn’t happen because they’re embarrassed or they feel shame around it.
If it is a fact, if it happened write it down.
It is like putting a puzzle together. Once you know what your, childhood trauma, is and then how it’s showing up as a for you as an adult.
As a coach, I can start putting the pieces together and everything starts making a whole lot of sense.

My favorite line is you can’t change what you don’t understand.

Childhood trauma, #1 addictions

1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there’s also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder, spending or gambling, workaholic etc. There’s 11 addictive behaviors.

Childhood trauma, #2 Verbal Abuse

2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and yelling at each other? This, Childhood trauma, is typical is yelling screaming but this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like “you’ll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.

Childhood trauma, #3 emotional abuse or neglect

3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let’s say they came home from school at 3 o’clock and mom if they’re in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours.

There’s anxiety around that. So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we’re out trying to support our kids there home alone.

Childhood trauma, #4 Psychical abuse

4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – This, childhood trauma,  could have happened in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools we’re supposed to teach our child another way.

If you’re beating them or hitting them you’re teaching them to be violent back. We don’t want to do that.

Childhood trauma, #5 Abandonment

5. Abandonment – There’s two types, childhood trauma, from abandonment. Fault and No Fault abandonment.
Here are three examples, childhood trauma, from no-fault abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24

Here is an example of “Fault” abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.

Childhood trauma, #6 Adoption

6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to live with relatives because mom or dad couldn’t take care of you, that even includes Grandma’s, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn’t want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn’t want to go home.

Childhood trauma, #7 personal trauma

7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky. Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.

Childhood trauma, #8 Sibling trauma

8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time. Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I’m worthwhile too.

Childhood trauma, #9 Community trauma

9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years. Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that’s all
family trauma and community trauma. Today we can also have, childhood trauma, if we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass shootings in our community.

https://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/

Childhood trauma, #10 Mental Health

10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities. We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma. Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or the repercussions.

I am unlike every other love coach, because I specialize in how the past has harmed you and what you’re attracting. We call it same person different face. The repetitive toxic relationships and this happens to my clients who are very successful
in business but they struggle in love. They can’t figure out why like I can get the career right,

https://myhelps.us/podcast-sponsorship-transform-your-mind/

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Download on Spotify

Riana is offering a FREE eBook
Get it here:
www.HavetheLoveYouDeserve.com

 

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to the PODCAST so you can get new episodes as they are uploaded. You can listen on, iTunes,  TuneIn radio, iHeart Radio, Stitcher and Spotify.

There’s Nothing “Wrong” with You that Makes Dating So Hard! In Fact, 90% of People Have the Same Challenge when it comes to Love! (And They Don’t Even Know It Exists!)

Imagine attracting and having the Emotionally Healthy Love Relationship you’ve always wanted – and the life you are passionate about! It’s possible and I’ll show you what you’ve been doing “wrong”. (And it’s not what you think!)

It’s time to get the FACTS and learn EXACTLY what is going on, and How to Fix It!

 

Additional Resources:

https://blog.myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-surviving-mothers-abandonment/

4 Ways a Traumatic Childhood Affects Adult Relationships

What happens to us as children can affect the attachment style we carry into our adult relationships. Childhood Trauma, hugely influences attachment. Often people who grew up in happy, healthy, and stable homes where caregivers were emotionally available and responsive to their needs have a secure attachment style. These people don’t push partners away or cling too tightly. While they may have troubles in their relationships, an unhealthy attachment style isn’t the cause.

The Long Shadow of Childhood Trauma

A new study suggests that stress experienced early in life damages the ability to assess risk, creating young adults with poor decision-making skills.

How To Ditch the Good Girl Label

Ditching the good girl label

The, good girl, label is not about being morally good, the problem with being a, good girl, is that at the end of the day, it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work for anyone.  This isn’t an anti-morality conversation; it’s correcting our idea of what’s good and what’s right.

Download and listen to the full interview 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9553251-how-to-escape-the-good-girl-label.mp3?download=true

Sitting in the guest chair today on the Transform Your Mind Podcast, is Kasia Urbaniak. Kasia is the author ofUnbound: A woman’s Guide to Power”. Today, we are going to be talking about “How to ditch the, good girl label”.

Bio

Since founding The Academy in 2013, Kasia has taught over 4000 women to radically increase their power, agency and influence. Using practical tools, Academy graduates transform their lives by breaking the yoke of ‘Good Girl’ conditioning. They step boldly into leadership roles within their relationships, families, workplaces, and wider communities.

They become adept in the art of verbal self-defense against bulldozing, bullying, and gaslighting. They make bold, life-changing asks of the people around them in a way that feels good to the person being asked. They can hear “no” without getting flustered or giving up, and use resistance as a way to build intimacy and partnership.

Introduction

Myrna: Kasia, let’s start off by asking you what was your journey into founding the Academy, teaching women the foundations of power and influence? I read part of your bio that you were once a, dominatrix, I would love to hear about that.

Kasia: I found myself with an unusual set of training I explored various spiritual traditions and wanted to transcend this world. The one that spoke to me because it seemed the most practical and magical was, Taoism.

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Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

I was a Dominatrix while pursuing monastic education

Now, while I was pursuing my training and pursuing monastic education, the ironic part was there was no way for me as a girl growing up in New York City to be able to afford such things without getting a job that would pay me a lot of money in short bursts. So, I was working as a professional, dominatrix, in dungeons in New York City and then flying off to meet with teachers to convince them to teach me all the way up to mountain tops in China.

This lasted for the greater part of a decade. This straddling, absolutely insane split personality education, where I felt guilty about one when I was doing the other.  What started happening was these extremes ended up merging when I started diagnosing people’s bodies as a, Taoist, trainee.  I started going into deeper states of meditation and noticed that my training as a, dominatrix, allows me to notice the power dynamics , I started seeing similarities in my work as a, dominatrix.

I was paying attention to human beings and started to understand power dynamics the way you study martial arts.  I began to teach this power to women,   I do not teach as a, dominatrix, and I do not teach as a nun.

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Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

After this wildlife of extremes, of desiring absolute purity and devotion while going into these wildly psychologically strange, weird and interesting places with other humans, I started noticing that I was changing. I saw all my friends around me and all the people in my life (the women especially), living in a world of assumptions and superstitions.

Women are communicating with their bodies all the time

I started noticing that women didn’t realize that they are physically broadcasting and communicating all the time. That their power magnetic. You could say more submissive, but it’s not submissive at all

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The, good girl, label is not about being morally good, the problem with being a, good girl, is that at the end of the day, it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work for anyone.  This isn’t an anti-morality conversation; it’s correcting our idea of what’s good and what’s right.

Myrna: You had a lot of nuggets and you’re very right. When your publicist approached me and she started off with the, dominatrix, thing, I pushed back right away until I read the full bio.  I understood what you were trying to say. You’re giving women the power of choice.  Women can still be submissive and powerful, right?

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Are you a People-Pleaser or a good girl

Also, I know that being a people-pleaser and being a, good girl, doesn’t get you anywhere, people walk all over you. We’ve got a saying in my country  if you lay down like a doormat, people are going to walk all over you”. So, I understand you help women break the yolk of the, good girl, conditioning. So, tell us why specifically the label of a, bad girl, is beneficial because I’m interested in hearing your spin.

Kasia:  Good girl, conditioning has a very long history and it comes from the agreement that we make not as spiritual and personal agreement, but an economic agreement of marriage. We have a deal and there’s nothing wrong with even holding that deal today, but the deal is “I will let you lead, but you provide for meSo, up until very recently, a woman who had ambition, opinion, a vision and desires couldn’t express it as an individual. The best she could do and the best way she could fulfill her ambitions was to marry. The behaviors around the, good girl, are the behaviors we’re calling, good girl, conditioning.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

What is good girl conditioning

Such behaviors are basically the behaviors of how to be marriageable, how to attract and keep a good man, how to qualify to marry the most economically promising man – given that you can’t have a job, you can’t get educated, you can’t read, and you’re not allowed to leave the house (in some countries).

So, women learn I don’t want to be a burden.

  • How to be resourceful because if you’re the economic provider, then I have to be able to make big things out of little things (be resourceful),
  • Be moderate in temperament,
  • Not be too attractive so as to not get competition, but not to be noticeably unattractive, not to stand out in this way or that way,
  • Women are not to have too much sexual desire, in fact not to have too much desire at all.

Actually, it’s not just being accommodating, harmonious and warm, but also not having a voice essentially, they’re from women who are like I‘m not a, good girl, I don’t need anyone,  I‘m fine.

The modern day, people-pleaser, is an outgrowth of the, good girl. Why we call her an outgrowth like a sister of the, good girl, but she’s still the same woman because even though she believes that she can have her desires, she has to go for what she wants by herself. She never asks anybody for help, she never burdens anybody, she does it all. She is the feminine and the masculine. She is the alpha female

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Most of the women who come to my school are like this because, they’re very successful. They have families, they have careers and they have everything they want and they are exhausted and are furious; they have to do it all.

Myrna: it’s like the superwoman syndrome.

Good Girls learn to say No

Kasia: The problem is that men hold all the cards. Women don’t have the same experience as men because, men don’t do it all the same way.  When they are in positions of leadership or have a career, they have support that the women in their same place do not have.

The issue with, good girl, conditioning is you can say “I‘m an, independent woman, I push back and I stand up for myself.  I have learnt how to say No. You can identify with someone who doesn’t have, good girl conditioning, but the truth is the conditioning comes out so quickly that we barely catch it.  

We’re programmed and it’s in our subconscious and that is why I founded the Academy with my partner Reuben.  

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Podbean

 

Bad girls learn to ask for what they want

Myrna: Why do you say specifically that the, bad girl, label  is good? How do you transform them from being a, good girl, to a, bad girl? What does, bad girl, really mean?

Kasia: Okay. We got three things, bad girl, is the first. The first of the three and the other two are really important elements of the, bad girl. So, the first is a really simple exercise and I want to set up the context of this exercise. Bad girls learn to ask for what they want. 

I have the women that I work with this exercise which ends up being more difficult than it sounds. The intention is to write  all the things you feel make you a, bad girl,  onto paper.  What we want to do is start opening Pandora’s Box in the safest way possible.

We start with a sentence completion, its part of a sentence you fill in the blank and you repeat it, You write “if I were a, bad girl. I would do ,,,,,,,,,,,”

We use, bad girl, specifically because it brings you back to that younger age where you start learning what you’re supposed to like,  not like,  what you’re supposed to think etc. 

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Clear out the bad girl closet

The purpose of writing all these terrible things is that, the things we didn’t even know we put in the, bad girl, closet start coming out. When I explain part two and three, it’s going to become even more apparent how this works so you start opening the, bad girl, closet.

Myrna: I‘m sure a lot of it is around sex and what, bad girls, do and what, good girls, do not do.

Kasia: Some have ideas and desires of sexual liberation and some have ideas of standing up for themselves.  Some feel that anger is bad, that, good girls, do not get angry.  Good girls,  is part of the submissive conditioning or why, good girls, don’t get angry.

The, good girl conditioning, doesn’t even let you become aware that your man is disrespecting you when he calls you names. Maybe he just treats you like a maid and then one day you wake up and start thinking; this is disrespect.

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

 What is bulldozing in a relationship?

When you tell The Bulldozer, explicitly or implicitly, to back off, they come on even stronger. When you tell The Bulldozer your needs, they will do exactly the opposite. That’s why they’re called The Bulldozer. Because they trample all over your boundaries.

How good girls get respect

Kasia: If you want respect, you never ever say I want you to respect me! That’s communicating there’s something wrong with you

The moment you are voicing a complaint, you are creating an atmosphere of defense. We don’t want to be in defense mode, we obviously want to be in offense, mode. 

Myrna: So, how does someone do it, how do we state our desires in offensive mode?

Kasia: The moment you ask them to do something specific, the power dynamic has changed. The issue with women is that their energy is too inward: 

  • I‘m hurting,
  • I’m complaining,
  • I don’t like this,
  • This is a problem,
  • Look what you’re doing to me,
  • I am the victim,
  • I have no power,
  • You have to fix it,
  • It’s all your fault,
  • You don’t respect me etc.

The moment you start directing their actions, making those requests that would resonate with you as respect, you are in the dominant position.  The moment you start making them in control of your happiness and telling them they’re doing a bad job, you are in defense mode. 

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Is there such a thing as a High Maintenance Woman

Myrna: I heard this a lot that men say, “Oh, she’s too, high maintenance, but you’re also saying there’s no such thing  as a, low maintenance, woman just  women who are not bold enough to ask for what they want.

Kasia: So, high maintenance, is a fad. No woman is, low maintenance, but when men complain about women being, high maintenance, what they’re actually saying is not you are too much work.  What they’re saying is I never got the instruction manual on how to treat you as a woman.

Men  just got used to ignoring and tolerating the complaints of women, because they never really understood what makes them happy. Women weren’t asking for the things that would actually light them up, give them orgasms, make them feel supported and empowered. What men got was a bunch of vague things.

You find a man who’s getting specific instructions for the first time; he’s like a little boy in a candy store like yes, what can I do next? He feels competent and takes care of his women like he takes care of his car!

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

A woman’s guide to power

Unbound: A Woman's guide to power
Unbound: A Woman’s guide to power

Myrna: Tell us about your book, it’s called Unbound: A Woman’s Guide to Power.

Kasia: The book is a step-by-step training manual. It definitely talks about how to ask and how to get off the spot when you’re being bullied and bulldozed. There’s a lot of how-to stuff there also. I teach women how to create allies out of all the men in their lives. The book is also a journey through how to get all of the support that you need from the people in your life to make your actual dreams and desires come true.

Not the ones that you think are attainable and not the ones that you think are socially acceptable. A huge part of the book is breaking the, good girl conditioning.

Myrna: How can those listening and watching in TV connect with you? How can they get a copy of your book and get your get information about your Academy?

Transform your mind PTWWN TV
PTWWN TV

Kasia: The easiest way to find out more is to go to the website www.weteachpower.com.

We have an announcement on the site of all our classes. Also, there are tons of free resources and videos and things that the interested listeners, viewers and readers can engage with. The book is available everywhere books are sold. Penguin Random house published it and there’s my Ted talk that I delivered to 10,000 people live as well.

Myrna: Thank you for being so in-depth about understanding the mindset of women and the mindset of the power. What is your social media handle?

Kasia: @realkasiaUrbaniak on Instagram.

Conclusion

Please remember to subscribe to the podcast on iTuneswe would love for you to rate and post a review so that we can get these fantastic guests out to wider audience.

Thanks for tuning in and until next time, blessings.

Additional Resources

How to Embrace Female Sexuality and the Divine Feminine

How to Have Faith That Sets You Free

When you replace, fear, with, faith, it prevents your, subconscious mind, from going into reflex mode and bringing what you, fear, into your experience.

The Bible teaches that, faith, without works is dead. That means as we say in my birth country of Guyana

Put your money where your mouth is.

Eg. If you, have faith, that God is going bring you the desires of your heart and you desire to have a child; then you don’t do like Sarah and have your husband sleep with Hagar (your maid)  so you can have a child. No you have, courage, to stay the course and in God’s time you will have a child.

  • You pick out baby names,
  • Shop for your nursery,
  • You buy pregnancy clothes,
  • And you live in expectancy, hoping every month that your period does not show up!

Listen to the full episode here: 

Faith means getting up after you fall down

If you experience some setbacks like several miscarriages, you have, courage,  and believe in Gods promise, that everything works out for your good. You believe that Gods intentional!

Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

You Banish, fear!

The only thing you have to, fear, is, fear, itself. Fear, is false evidence appearing real.

When you replace, fear, with faith it prevents your, subconscious mind, from going into reflex mode and bringing what you, fear, into your experience.

Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Program your subconscious mind with faith

The, subconscious mind, can’t tell fact from fiction, it brings you whatever you think about consistently.

Jesus says by their fruits we shall know them.

If you live with, courage, we shall know you by your fruits because, faith, is the language to God and he always delivers.

Man was created in Gods image with the power to rule the world. Have faith, that you have the power to manifest your heart’s desire and believe that whatever you hold on your head, you will hold in your hand.

The universe is obedient to Gods will.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

How to increase your faith

Every living thing has confidence in something or somebody.  You, have faith, that if you deposit your money in the bank, it will be there when you go to withdraw it. You, have faith, that if you plant a mango tree, it will bear mangoes and not oranges.

Similarly, we must, have faith, that whatever we ask God in prayer he will answer.

It is your habitual tendency of thought that reappears in your body and recreates the conditions in your life.

You become what you think about most of the time.

https://youtu.be/pcQz3Y-Zl5A

Speak faith Not fear

The words you use are the channels in which the creative energy takes shape.

This energy takes the shape from the instrument from which it passes. Water flowing from a crooked cup, flows crooked. Water must take the shape of the pipe from which it flows.

You can’t think one thing and produce another, this is as impossible as an electric fan being used for lighting purposes.

As a man thinketh so is he.

There is an intelligence in all nature. Faith, without works is dead but with it, sets you free.

Say Goodbye to, Fear, cultivating, courage, have faith, and if you are afraid, Do it afraid.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Fear looks down Faith looks up

When you, fear, you have a pessimistic view of life.  Worrying about the future is futile, we have no control about the future so if you are going to imagine the worst, why not shift it and use your imagination to create the life you want.

We are able to create whatever we think about most of the time. We become what we think about.

Think about this story. A young lady was worrying about losing her job. She feared losing her home, becoming homeless and worked herself into a frenzy by looking down into the abyss of, fear. But if she used her imagination to dream about getting a promotion instead of losing her job. Dreaming about buying a new home allows her to look up.

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage