Wholesaling, is often marketed as a low-to-no cost way of getting into real estate investing and this can be true. A new, wholesaler, can certainly profit with a much lower initial cash outlay than a, real estate investor, who has to buy a property and rehab it.
In, wholesaling real estate, a real estate, wholesaler, contracts with a home seller, markets the home to his potential buyers, and assigns the contract to the buyer. The, wholesaler, makes a profit, which is the difference between the contracted price with the seller and the amount paid by the buyer.
What Exactly is Wholesaling Real Estate?
Wholesaling, is often marketed as a low-to-no cost way of getting into, real estate investing. However, the successful, wholesaler, has to have a firm grasp of what makes for an attractive deal – once you understand this process of , wholesaling, it becomes much easier and can be broken down into a serious of repeatable steps.
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My co-host today on this podcast is Trevor Evans.
Trevor is a Professional Speaker, Real Estate Investor, Retail Store Owner.
Speaker/Trainer for Rich Dad Education and Founder of Personal Awakening brand “Being Normal Sucks.” Trevor has also been married for 19 years and have 2 beautiful daughters ages 22 and 18.
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Investors ready to learn how to start, wholesaling houses, will be happy to know the process is not complicated. Here are a few simple steps to get started, real estate wholesaling:
Research your local market before getting started.
Find a realtor with off market discounted properties.
Secure a financing source that works best for you. This is usually a Hard Money Lender.
Begin searching for potential, wholesaling, properties by driving for dollars.
Decide whether to sell the contract or assign the contract.
What is a step by step plan to becoming a Real Estate Wholesaler?
Step 1: Create a Database of buyers:
Contact local Rehabbers and Contractors and ask them what kind of properties they are looking for to rehab.
You can find them at your local Chamber of Commerce or your local REIA
Ask them these questions.
1. What kind of properties are they currently rehabbing?
2. Type of properties they like to work with Eg. Single family or multi family?
3. What are they certified to work on? Eg. Are they certified to work on burn down or water damaged properties?
Step 2: Put an AD on Craigslist
Ask the following questions when you get responses to your AD
1. Is the property listed with a Realtor?
2. Are you speaking with the owner of the property?
3. Is the property in, Foreclosure, probate, bank owned, or free and clear
4. Does the property need rehab? If so what is the estimated cost of repair.
Step 3: Put together your power team which includes your Title and Escrow Agent.
If you structure your deals properly, you could use one escrow deposit for 10 properties!
In our first episode you talk about process. You said that setting up a process prevents failure.
What is the process for the real estate Wholesaler?
My friends at Connected Investors wrote this article on Getting started with, real estate Wholesaling.
Wholesaling, is often touted as the easiest entry point into the world of, investing in real estate. And financially speaking the barriers to entry are generally a lot lower, especially when compared to fix and flipping or buy and hold investing. Many experienced, professional investors have door-knocked and bandit-signed their way up the REI ladder without having more than a cell phone, gas money, and the will to WIN. read more …
Diamonds, are created far below the earth’s surface from immense pressure and heat. Diamonds, are the most indestructible element.
How does finding your purpose compare to mining for, diamonds?
We come into this world from pressure. But we come into this world as coal in the rough says Marlene Bryan. Similarly to the, diamond, we need, diamond cutters to shape us. Our, diamond cutters, are our parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, relationships,
They cut and shape us either to shine like a, Diamond, or stay as coal! Have you found your purpose? My guest today on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast is Marlene M Bryan, inspirational speaker, author, business coach and President of Small Biz Evolution. Marlene is going to teach us
What is your purpose: Do you remember the day you asked:
“Why am I here?”
“Why was I born?”
“Why don’t I know my purpose?”
And the best of all: “Why me?”
It’s okay to ask the question why? Yet some people get hung up on the “why” and never move forward or take action to put what they have learned into action.
How to Shine Like a Diamond Rihanna
Shine like a diamond, shine like a star
Higher than the moon
and brighter than the sun
It’s like a dream, it’s so amazing
My heart is beating fast
I feel so fabulous
Take a chance and fly with me
It’s a Fairy world
Close your eyes and you’ll be there
Until thought is linked with purpose, there is no intelligent accomplishment.
Those who have no central purpose in life, fall an easy prey to petty worries, fears, troubles, and self-pitying; all which lead to failure, unhappiness, and loss.
For weakness cannot persist in a power-evolving universe.
A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart, and set out to accomplish it by shining like a, diamond. He should make this purpose the centralizing point of his thoughts. He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings.
Purpose to Become a Diamond
Even if you fail again and again to accomplish your purpose (and you must until weakness is overcome), the strength of character gained will be the measure of your true success, and this will form a new starting point for future power and triumph.
Those who are not prepared for the apprehension of a great purpose, should fix their thoughts upon the faultless performance of their duty, no matter how insignificant their task may appear.
The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth- that strength can only be developed by effort and practice- will, thus believing at once begin to exert itself adding effort to effort, patience to patience, strength to strength will at last grow divinely strong.
Only by searching and mining are, gold and diamonds, obtained, and man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mines of his soul!
Diamonds are created far below the earth’s surface from immense pressure and heat.
Diamonds are the most indestructible element.
How does finding your purpose compare to, mining for diamonds?
We come into this world from pressure. But we come into this world as coal in the rough says Marlene Bryan.
Similarly to the, diamond, we need, diamond cutters, to shape us. Our diamond cutters are our parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, relationships,
They cut and shape us either to shine like a Diamond or stay as coal!
How do you find your purpose with the 4 C’s
Your purpose can come from a place of pain or from something you love.
If you can’t figure it out, get the help of your, diamond cutters!
Ask them what you do well or what your talents are.
Pain is an energy much like anger that moves us out of our comfort zone into our purpose.
What are the 4 C’s of a, diamond, and how does becoming a Diamond Help us Find our Purpose?
CUT: The cut of the diamond determines its value. The diamond cutters in our life determine our brilliance.
COLOR: Color in a diamond is a flaw; but now the pink and yellow diamonds are more desirable than colorless diamonds.
Similarly, what we consider flawed about ourselves could be our most valuable quality.
CLARITY: The transparency of the diamond also determines its value.
We must also be transparent. You must know who you are and stay true to your values.
CARAT: The bigger the carat, the more the presumed value but a smaller diamond with all the above attributes could be more valuable.
We should help other become greater or bigger by giving them a hand up.
Is your purpose to become a Life coach?
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In every story of a successful man there has always been a woman he loved that helped him transmute his, sexual energy, to achieve greatness.
That is because these men were able to transmute the, sexual energy, to create wealth and abundance.
Today’s guest on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast is Ms Lorae Lauritch.
Lorae is a Sexological Body Worker and, Tantra, Facilitator and she is going to teach us how to use the energy of, sex. We can use, sexual energy, to create in your business and personal life.
But before we hear from Lorae I would like to share with you this bible story about, sex.
Tree of Life and Sex
In the, Garden of Eden, God made man in his own image, that is both male and female.
God is both the Alpha and the Omega
Then God decided to separate the man and the woman so he took a rib out of Adam and made the woman
He then told the man and the woman that they can partake of everything in the garden of Eden, except from the tree of knowledge.
The tree of knowledge represented the knowledge of, sex.
We know that Satan tempted the woman and told her that she surely would not die if she ate from the tree of knowledge.
And she didn’t die physically; but Eve brought sin and pain to the earth by partaking of the tree of knowledge without the guidance of God.
God intended for the, sexual energy, of the couple to usher them into his presence. This, sexual energy, is the creative force in the Universe.
Masters and Saints have learnt how to transmute, sexual energy, to co-create abundance in their lives.
Sexual energy and God
Lorae Lauritch is going to teach how to use, sexual energy, to get into the presence of God and build also emotional ties with your partner.
Lorae is a sacred-sexuality educator who coaches men, women and couples to be “enlightened lovers.” Her method is to blend ancient holistic practices like, Tantra, and Taoism with the latest western medical and scientific discoveries in psychology, health, and, sex. She does it in a way that’s practical, fun, and extraordinarily easy.
Lorae believes that when a couple comes together there is a reawakening of their, sexual energy, and their connection with God.
But some of us are only conscious of the biology of, sex.
Some of us are using, sex, only as a means to procreate or as control in rape
In the Eastern Hemisphere monks practice celibacy so that they can transmute that, sexual energy, to get into the presence of God.
Masters who practices celibacy also learn to transmute their, sexual energy.
In every story of a successful man there has always been a woman he loved that helped him transmute his, sexual energy, to achieve greatness.
That is because these men were able to transmute the, sexual energy, to create wealth and abundance.
Lorae says that when she learned to self pleasure she became comfortable with talking about, sex.
She discovered that only about 70% of women can achieve orgasm through penetration; So she decided to study and become an expert on, sexuality.
Teaching women how to learn about their bodies and to get pleasure from sexual intercourse.
Sex, is more than biology it is how we come into contact with the Divine!
Lorae’s teaches that sacred sexuality is playing on all the dimensions.
It is the spiritual, it is the physiological, it is the physical, it is the emotional.
Sacred sexuality, is coming into contact with your higher self.
If is used to deepen the relationship with your partner.
It is also called, Tantric sex.
Do you love Abraham Hicks? I do. Abraham Hicks – Sexual energy, like all physical energy is an extension of Source energy
How important is sexual energy in marital relationship?
It creates better health and longevity.
It relieves stress.
Sacred sex clears the energy.
It builds this energy called chi or Prana.
Our bodies gets drained during the day and sacred, sexual energy, is one way to rejuvenate the body’s life source.
It is a healing energy.
What is Tantra ?
The, tantra, orgasm is the ability to tap into the body’s energy and have it link up to longer orgasmic states.
It is a build up of, sexual energy, and comes in waves throughout the body. It is an explosion from head to toe. It is not concentrated on the genitalia.
Once there is saturation of, sexual energy, in the physical state it can be shared with your partner as you tap into their energy field to become one energy field.
One way to achieve this state is to take a charging breath.
Breathe in like you are taking in a drink through a straw.
Breathe out with sound.
Tantra, breathing is an indirect way to turn on your partner through sound and, sexual energy, exchange.
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There is more to becoming a deliberate creator, than just letting the, universal laws, of attraction bring to you the desires of your heart. We all know it does not work like that. Some of you have been asking the, Universe, and praying to God for years, and you are still waiting to manifest your desires into your experience.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
This is a big topic. There is a lot written on, the Laws of Attraction. In my book “Out of the Snares” I embrace these, universal laws, fully. I also expected and allowed what I was attracting to show up. I lived consciously believing that ..
“there are no coincidences in life, that everything moment is as it should be.” ~~Deepak Chopra
I tell the story in my book “Out of the Snares” of me coming to the USA under the USA Free trade agreement, which allows Canadians and Mexicans to open up branch offices of current businesses in the USA; but when I got to the United States, I decided I wanted the benefits of being an American. I told myself “It would be nice if I found a husband.” As soon as I concentrated on that possibility the, Universal laws, started offering up to me suitors for me to choose from!
Become a deliberate creator using the universal laws
There is more to becoming a deliberate creator, than just asking and receiving for everything you want. We all know it does not work like that. Some of you have been asking the, Universe, and praying to God for years, and you are still waiting to manifest your desires into your experience.
Here are 5 ways to help with being a deliberate creator and invoking the Universal laws.
1. Offer no resistance: You have to offer no resistance to the, universal laws, you are letting go and letting God. In the above example. If and when the thought, came to me to find a husband and I had a bad experience with a prior husband and I told myself that most men are no good, then essentially what I am doing is saying on one hand I would like a husband and on the other hand, I don’t want a man because they are nothing but trouble. That sends mixed messages to the, universal laws, of attraction.
2. You have to allow it to come in.
Look at your list of things you want to attract in your life as people outside the walls of one of the ancient cities. This is, the secret. They can’t come in unless someone opens the gates of the city. In a similar way, you have to quiet your mind and stop confusing the, Universe, with all the stuff in your head. Find time every day to meditate and allow the, Universe, and its, universal laws, to work for you.
3. You have to believe in the 7 universal laws
Faith, is the evidence of things unseen. The bible teaches that if you have the, faith, of a mustard seed, you can say to the mountain get up and go into the sea. Faith is one way to let the, universal laws, work in your life. Logically and in the physical world that is not possible but Jesus was teaching us that “If you believe you can do anything.” That is truth. I have seen amputees climb to the top of Mount Everest, I have seen people swim across lakes, I have seen human beings defy incredible odds to survive and achieve. It all starts in the mind, if you think you can.
4. You have to be conscious of your emotions.
Your emotions are a powerful indicator of if you are moving towards or away from your desires. If you feel elated and happy, you are moving in the direction of your desires; if you feel dread and nervousness then that is your heart telling you that it knows something you don’t. Learn to pay attention. The trick is to not spend time thinking about the things that make you feel bad because you will attract more of them.
5. Become a deliberate creator or Sorcerer.
Sorcerer means from the source. Becoming a Sorcerer means that you are letting source energy and the, universal laws, work for you. It means that you meditate on what you want, pray and ask God to help you get it and then you move out of the way and let him do his work. The focus here is on the word “meditate”. You have to get still and hear God. When you do, you will get inspiration and instruction on how to move that mountain out of the way. You will get instructions on how to turn your business around, how to motivate your children, new book ideas etc.
In my book “Out of the Snares” I share with you, my readers, the principles of the Bible and the Universal Laws or Truths that I stood on to win. Order your copy today.https://myhelps.us/book-order/
Journalling, can help women experiencing problems who are feeling stuck to form solutions by writing their down. My guest today is Margaret Elizabeth Hulse, a novelist who uses her fine art and jewelry designs to illustrate her, journalling, stories. Margaret writes stories with her body, mind, spirit that she says exist in the beauty of Texas, the Caribbean, and New Orleans.
Journalling, can be inspired to transcend from the monotony of day to day, obligatory tasks and into a life life filled with passion and purpose from the power and purpose of, journalling. She says “I write relatable, yet sensual, passionate stories that take my readers on new adventures and create custom jewelry so that the wearer has something unique to set her apart from the typical, ‘go-to’ designs. I evoke an excitement that people feel they haven’t been able to tap into for a while, whether it’s because they’ve been hurt, or have simply lost themselves as they’ve tried to make ends meet.”
How to Start Journaling
Margaret feels that through, journalling, she learned how to manifest her dream work through writing her way out of a trauma. Her first published journal simply titled, “Sketchbook,” is an illustrated short story that serves as a preamble to her novel, Sketches from the Heart of a Texas Artist. I write and speak often about the power of healing through creativity and how the more you write about something, the more likely it is to come to fruition.
On a personal note on, how to start journalling, I have always journaled to download and to write down my goals and dreams. The power and purpose for my, journalling, for me has been manifested in my life over and over.
There are 3 ways to attract anything into your life. First you think it in your mind, then you speak it into the atmosphere, then you write it down to give it form!
Journalling, can also help you out of a bad mood.
You Can Write Your Way Out of an Emotional Funk. Here’s How.
A, journalling, story:
James Pennebaker, a distinguished professor at the University of Texas, got married right out of college in the early ‘70s. Three years after his marriage, he and his wife started to question their relationship, and Pennebaker, confused and unsettled, sank into a depression. He ate less, drank more, and started smoking. Embarrassed by what he saw as emotional weakness, he became more and more isolated.
One morning about a month into this decline, Pennebaker climbed out of bed and sat down at a typewriter. He stared at the machine for a moment, then started writing freely and frankly about his marriage, his parents, his sexuality, his career, and even death.
As he wrote, and continued to write in the days that followed, something fascinating happened. His depression lifted and he felt liberated. He began to reconnect with his deep love for his wife. But the writing had an even farther-reaching impact. For the first time, he started to see the purpose and possibilities in his life.
Pennebaker’s own experience with, journalling, helped him get through this rocky period sparked 40 years of research about the links between writing and emotional processing. Over and over again Pennebaker did studies in which he divided people into two groups and asked some to, journal, about emotionally significant experiences, and the others to write about common things: their shoes, or maybe the cars passing on the street. Both groups wrote for the same span—about 20-minutes a day, three days in a row.
In each study, Pennebaker found that the people who wrote about emotionally charged episodes experienced marked improvement in their physical and mental well-being. They were happier, less depressed and less anxious. In the months after the, journalling, sessions, they had lower blood pressure, improved immune function, and fewer visits to the doctor. They also reported better relationships, improved memory, and more success at work.
Is your purpose in life to help others achieve fulfillment in theirs?
Then maybe becoming a Life Coach is the career for you.
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Fear, is an, energy, and thoughts are the most powerful, energy, force in the universe. Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of, negative thoughts, is, fear. It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
If you allow, fear, to linger in your body and in your mind, It will not only attract the thing you, fear, the most into your experience; but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to, negative thoughts, or, fear. Negative thoughts, transform your body into an acidic state.
Fear, is a, negative thought, magnified to the 1000th degree.
In, fear, mode your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell!
Unfortunately, your brain cannot detect the difference between your imagination and reality, so the person in the grip of fear cannot tell the difference. They cannot tell that, fear, it is “False Evidence Appearing Real.”
Using Positive Energy to banish Fear
Today I want to teach you how to use, positive energy, to clear the, negative energy, of, fear. But first I want to review one of the Spiritual Laws of the Universe.
We all know of the physical laws like, Gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are Spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the spiritual “Law of Sowing and reaping” can change your world.
Understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world of your thoughts will manifest in the physical world.
Put another way, that means whatever you plant in the fertile soil of your mind, will manifest in your physical world.
Just like planting an apple tree. Except that in the spiritual world;
The soil is your mind, The seeds are your thoughts,
The water are your actions,
And The sun is your feelings.
If you allow, fear, to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.
Energy flows where Attention Goes
Whatever you focus on expands.
Fear is Negative Energy
Everything is, energy, and all, energy, attracts similar energies.
You can’t put out, negative energy, and expect positive results.
You can’t plant apple trees and expect oranges.
Likewise, you can’t focus on what you, fear, and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you, fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal Law of Reaping and Sowing, it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.
These are six words you must stamp on your mind
“You become what you think about”
When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.
How to overcome fear
Exercise: How to overcome fear, write down something that is opposite of what you, fear, and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your, fear.
Since light conquers darkness, it will eventually have your, fear, for lunch!
Imagine you having fun traveling the world in crystal clear clarity.
Say daily affirmations that compliments your desire.
Visualize your goal so much that sometimes you are not sure what is imagined and what is reality;
the same way that you let fear take you out of reality.
Don’t get disappointed if it takes time to perfect this. Remember that positive things take time to manifest,
it is the negative ones that show up quickly.
Weeds will sprout up, negative thoughts, of failure will sprout up.
So, every morning find the weeds and dig them up.
Remember a successful gardener will always cultivate his land.
Cultivate your mind for success.
Life is energy, whatever you put out, is returned to you.
The mind does not care what seeds you plant; it will always return what you plant.
You can plant wealth or you can plant poverty.
You can plant fear or you can plant happiness.
How would it be if in the dark of the month, with no moon, I were to enter the most strange and frightening places, near tombs and in the thick of the forest, that I might come to understand fear and terror. And doing so, a wild animal would approach or the wind rustle the leaves and I would think, “Perhaps the fear and terror now comes.” And being resolved to dispel the hold of that fear and terror, I remained in whatever posture it arose, sitting or standing, walking or lying down. I did not change until I had faced that fear and terror in that very posture, until I was free of its hold upon me … And having this thought, I did so. By facing the, fear, and terror I became free.
Do not Fear: Definition of fear
Fear – False objects appearing real, as per the about passage, can be released by standing your ground. Our instinctive reaction to, fear, is to turn and run because as humans we are hard wired to run from pain and towards pleasure. But, as the Buddha teaches in the passage above if you stand and have the courage to not move, you become free you, let go of fear, and realize that your imagination is always worse than the reality.
Let me share a personal story on how I overcame, fear and, remove negative energy from home.
When I first came to the United States of America, I came as a business owner. I did not have any of the benefits of a permanent resident. As my business was building, I decided to earn money as a sales person selling vacations. I was not authorized to work in the US, so I became very fearful of being found out and being deported. Every night I would dream that the immigration officials would come to my house and take me away in handcuffs. Sometimes I would dream that they would throw me in the back of the trunk.
One day, my pastor preached a sermon on, the fear factor. He said that God promises to carry your burdens, so give them to God. He said when you give your, fears, and heavy loads to God, you can’t worry or take them back because that would mean that you don’t have faith in God’s promise to carry them. He asked the congregation to write our, fears, and heavy burdens on a piece of paper and ceremoniously throw them at the alter giving them to God. I wrote my, fear, of being deported on a piece of paper and threw in on the alter. In doing so, I, let go of fear, and became free because I gave it away to someone else, God. The good news is that I no longer was afraid of anything. Every time something came up that would potentially me fearful, I would face it and know that it will work out for my good. I stood on the scripture “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you.”
Meditation to Let go of Fear
Sit quietly in a chair, be comfortable.
Place feet flat on the floor, hands clasped in your lap. Close your eyes. Be present. Focus on your breathing, feel your belly rise and fall under your clasped hands.
Breathe in for a count of 4 and breathe out for account of 6. Thus, slowing down your rhythmic cycles. Be mindful of the air as it passes through your nostrils down your esophagus and into your abdomen. If your mind wanders off bring it back gently to your breathe. Your mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Concentrating on your breathe bypasses your mind. Once you slow your cycles and quiet your mind, you are now in the receptive mode to change your programming.
Think briefly about something you, fear. Today we will use as our example the, fear of flying. Today we are going to use our imagination to replicate the experience of flying while you are sitting comfortably and safely in your chair.
Let’s begin. visualize you are at the airport with your loved ones, your husband and 2 children. You are on your way to Venice, Italy. You chose Venice because you wanted a romantic vacation with your husband. You can’t wait to ride on the Gondolas and be serenaded with live music, going to the opera and have the experience of taking a water taxi everywhere. You are excited. This energy is positive. You let this feeling of euphoria wash over you, you feel your body tingle with this positive energy. You feel good!
Now you are boarding the plane, you are starting to feel a little anxious. You board the plane and find your seat, you buckle yourself in. The pilot announces that your flight time is 6 hours and that he will be flying at a cruising altitude of 35,000 feet. He advises you to give your attention the flight attendant and pay attention to the safety information. You mentally note your exits. You listen to what to do in the event of a water landing! Your mind is going nuts with fear. Your heart starts to palpitate rapidly, you start to sweat.
Now the airplane is taxing down the runway at full speed, then lifts off the ground.
You squeeze your husband’s hand, you are hardly breathing, your whole body is tight. The plane is climbing it shakes a little. You are so scared the sweat starts dripping from your forehead. The plane reaches cruising altitude, the pilot turns off the fasten seat belt sign and people start moving about the plane. You calm down a little, but still aware of every movement of the plane. The flight attendants come around and offer beverages. You ask for a glass of wine. You drink it down in one gulp! You start to feel calmer. The flight is uneventful. After what seems like an eternity the pilot announces that in 30 minutes he will be starting his descent into Venice. Your fear returns, the plane shakes a little as it descends and you are once again in the grip of fear. The plane touches down and speeds down the runway braking speed. Your body is tight, your breathing shallow. Then it is all over. You faced your fear and came out on the other side! You exit the plane and you are in Venice!
I want you now to realize that you have taken your first flight in your mind.
I want you to realize that fear is false evidence appearing real.
I want you to realize that once you face your fear, like a bully, it backs down.
I want you to realize that the energy of fear is keeping you stuck.
I want you to realize that whatever your fear, just like we took a ride on an airplane and came out alive on the other side that is how all fear works. It has no real power over you. The only thing that is holding you back from doing the things you want to do is all in your mind. So, the only way the clear it is to start with the mind. Do a dress rehearsal in the mind and then do it in the physical.
The first step in How to overcome fear is to face the fear.
The second step is to clear it from the place it is planted in your mind. Take a moment now to ask your higher self where the fear of flying came from. When was the fear planted? When you get the answer, you may think to yourself, boy that was silly or you may have a legitimate reason to be afraid of flying. Someone you know could have died in a plane crash or you yourself could have been in a plane emergency landing. The thing to remember is that you know that every time you drive on the highway you could die and you are aware of thousands of people who have died in car accidents; yet few people have a fear of driving in a car. So, consciousness is the second step.
The third step is to clear that energy by replacing it with, positive energy. We are going to use the, positive energy, of gratitude. Sit comfortably again. Imagine a bright light entering the crown of your head moving down through your check, down your throat to your chest, down your abdomen through your feet.
Feel this light fill all your energy centers as you become fully relaxed. Now expand this energy out from your chest past the room, past your city, past your country, past the clouds, past the sun, past the planet into the stratosphere. You are now floating in cyberspace. If you can bring your fear to mind in this space, do so now.
Then replace that feeling of fear with the feeling of gratitude. Gratitude that you are alive, gratitude that you are in your sound mind, gratitude that you have a place to sleep and food to eat. Gratitude that you are wealthier than 95% of the people in the world and you have the resources to travel to exotic destinations. Gratitude that you will not let fear rob you of your joy.
Now set the intention to fly to the first place on your bucket list within the year.
If you found this post helpful, I would love to hear your comments on what your fears are, and if you achieved a successful result transferring it with these exercises. Please share this podcast and blog post with friends and family and remember to subscribe and post a review.
Transform your Mind podcast is giving away a Free Checklist you can do every morning to replace your fears with positive affirmations.
To receive please subscribe, rate and review this podcast then send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line iTunes review.
Until next time Namaste
One of the worst, negative emotions, in my opinion, is the feeling of, being stuck; defined as moving forward or going back looks worse than staying in the misery of your current situation. How do you, get unstuck?
Our topic today is How to, Get Unstuck. This is a, life coaching, session with, coach Myrna
Being stuck, is a place of no personal power
What it feels like to be stuck
A few months back I received a note on LinkedIn from a young lady who said she was, stuck. I felt her pain deep within my soul so I offered her a free, life coaching, to, get unstuck.
She was in an, abusive relationship. Her boyfriend was physically abusive to both her and her 2 year old daughter and she feared for her life. She had the courage to pack up and leave that situation. She lived in Florida and her only family lived in Atlanta, Georgia. In order to, get unstuck, she quit her job, left her boyfriend and fled to her sister’s home in Atlanta. Her sister was unemployed and had 6 children. She was dependent on her husband for support. This young lady felt uncomfortable living in her sister’s home, because she didn’t have anything for herself and now she had to feed her and her child. She called me because she felt she should go back to her, abusive relationship!
How many of you can feel her pain?
Being stuck, is when the pain of staying in your current intolerable situation looks better than the pain of leaving.
It could be a domestic situation.
It could be an intolerable boss.
It could be a demeaning job.
How do you make the decision to, get unstuck?
How do you find the strength to want something better?
How did I coach this situation?
This is the major benefit of, life coaching, the ability of the, life coach, to see the frame.
You see you can’t see the frame when you are the picture!
Coaching to Get Unstuck
I knew that one of the reasons that my coachee was thinking of going back, was because she still loved her, abusive relationship. She was trying to get someone else to agree with her.
So I asked her “Do you still love this man?” And she said yes.
Then I allowed her to become aware of what her brain was doing. It was, stuck, in repeat.
I told her that because she still loved this man, she is using the situation of her sister’s lack as the reason to return.
I asked her “Do you think your sister would want you to go back to that situation and maybe end up dead”? She said “no.”
I said think about it. What exactly are you taking from your sister? Space. Space doesn’t cost them anything.
I asked her if she had any money?
She said “yes.” So I said, use that money to buy food for you and your daughter so you can feel better about being a charity case.
After we got past the, negative emotions, we were then able to plan for the future to , get unstuck.
You can’t plan and have hope when you are busy wallowing in, negative energy, and self-pity of, being stuck.
I asked her about job prospects and she told me she had an interview scheduled for the next day.
That my friends is the First secret to, get unstuck.
1: Hope and Faith are important to getting unstuck
Faith, that God can make a way out of no way.
Faith, that even though you can’t see the entire stairway you know that the stairs are there.
The message of, faith, in this story is that you can’t think that God intended for you to live in an, abusive relationship, being dependent on an abusive man for your survival. You have to be able to get out of the valley, get unstuck, and see the light of the mountain top. You have to know in your heart that you were meant to be more. You have to want more for your children.
Once you find that, positive energy, things will begin to open up. Opportunities will come your way, God will open doors shut by the devil and your negative emotions.
My coachee got the job we are moving in the direction to, get unstuck.
She now lives in Atlanta and she is happy!
The devil is a liar, don’t let him convince you that you are, stuck.
2: Another way to get unstuck is to move the energy around.
The universe is made up of energy. We are a bundle of energy.
When you have, stuck, energy it causes disease.
So you have to force yourself to get off the couch, you have to do something, anything.
Do it until you feel like doing it. Do the things you don’t feel like doing until you feel like doing it!
Another client of mine got fired from his job so he sat around all day with his hurt feelings.
Blaming his boss and all his friends who did not support him.
You have to get over disappointment and hurt so you can get on with it.
Don’t let tragedy destroy you and keep you, stuck.
Don’t stop, continue to stay busy.
Continue to work your plan take small steps if you can’t take big steps Automatic negative thoughts don’t take any effort on your part they come naturally like weeds in your garden.
But if you want to grow roses or orchids in your garden it takes special effort and a process.
Similarly, being stuck, on something someone did to you is natural.
Feeling angry when your kids are ungrateful for the sacrifices you made for them is natural.
Being fired after working at your job for 10 years, never taking time off for your kid’s soccer matches or dance recitals is natural.
Feeling vengeful at the betrayal of your spouse is natural.
It is natural to be angry, hurt, disappointed, vengeful; but it is important not to stay there.
It is important to, get unstuck, remove , negative emotions. You have to get over them and move on.
3: Seek the council of others when you feel Stuck
What my friend on LinkedIn did was good. She contacted a, life coach. She received council and got a fresh perspective.
Even if she not heed my advice, she still moved the energy by doing something.
One way to do this is to memorize and recite the, serenity prayer, several times per day
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
One of the first things they taught us in coaching school is that you can’t coach someone that is not in front of you. Why was this important? Because most coachees will come into the coaching conversation complaining that their life is a mess because of the actions of someone else. The only person that you can change is yourself. You have no control over the behavior of anyone other than yourself.
4: Another way is to find peace with the situation if you can’t or won’t move right now.
I remember a sermon I heard from my first Pastor. He said whenever he felt like complaining about his wife he would pray and ask God to change him!
So for example if you are, stuck, in order to, get unstuck, you have to become aware of your thoughts. Change the way you look at the bad things he or she does. If he or she talks to you with disrespect. You can tell yourself it is not personal, that he or she speaks to everyone like that because he doesn’t know any better.
If he only talks to you with disrespect you can tell yourself that he doesn’t know you and let his words not penetrate your consciousness. He can talk but you do not hear or transfer the words. It becomes just noise.
This is a simple example but it works to, get unstuck. This is also called the Law of Allowing. It especially works in intimate relationships.
When you stop resisting and allow your partner the freedom to self-express, you open up the path towards healing the brokenness and allow the relationship to become healthy.
Concentrate only on what you are doing and saying. Stop reacting to stimuli and watch what happens.
5: Another technique is to notice when you are stuck and distract yourself
Come back to the problem later
Write out options and solutions
Write out the worrying situation
Write what you can do about it
Write what you cannot control about it.
6: Most importantly are your thoughts. Whether you are stuck or not, your thinking makes it so.
The thoughts that matter most are your self-thoughts.
It is never the situation that causes you to be, stuck, but your thoughts and feelings about the situation that makes you feel stuck.
Your thoughts influence your emotions, so to, get unstuck, think differently, and you will feel differently.
Sometimes, how you think someone should respond to you, blocks your blessings. If you move yourself and your ego out of the way.
Then maybe God can give you what he has in store for you.
Look at the bible story of Naaman. Naaman was angry because the profit did not come out and greet him and bow down to him when he came to him to heal his leprosy. Instead the profit Elisha sent a messenger out to tell Naaman to go wash himself in the river Jordon seven times and he will be restored. . Naaman went away angry because he felt disrespected. But he was smart enough to accept council from one of his servants. The servant told him he had nothing to loose by following the instructions of the profit. The servant was able to see the frame around the picture. Naaman could not. He could only see the situation that was making him mad. He decided to follow the profit’s instructions.
He went and dipped himself in the river Jordon seven times and he came out perfect and clean!.
Naaman almost missed his blessing by reacting to what he considered disrespect.
Some of you are, stuck, because of poisonous thinking.
Your thoughts can poison your spirit, and then you never see positive only negative.
As Neapolitan Hill said
As a man thinking so is he.
Shakespeare puts it another way
“Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”
7: You have to know yourself to grow yourself
You have to know where your pattern started.
You have to make the connection between your old story and your current circumstances
Eg. If your mother gave you up for adoption and your feeling of abandonment are keeping you stuck in Low self-esteem,
you should become aware that your past has nothing to do with your future.
You know better, that you are not your mom and she had her reasons.
The deeper truth is that you are responsible for your life and not what someone did to you.
You have to shift and take responsibility, you have to know that you keep getting into these situations because of your lack of self-esteem or because of your need for security.
Awareness is key. Once again, a coach can help if you can look at your patterns objectively.
What are you blaming?
What is your pattern? What is the evidence of your pattern?
I had a coaching client who had 3 failed marriages where the men stole from her.
We had to find her pattern and why she kept attracting and falling in love with the same type of man.
We discovered that she loved how her dad took care of her mom and paid all the bills, so she kept looking for that trait in a man.
She ended up getting the opposite.
Use your negative energy to get unstuck
Did you know that nothing exists without its opposite?
You can’t know light without knowing darkness.
In order to know if something is good you first have to experience bad!
She had to learn to create a new pattern.
She had to go inside and use her feminine power of intuition to pick a mate.
She had to listen to her inner desire and not the outer desire for material pleasures.
When she did that she shifted her pattern and created a new one.
Now she is in the best relationship of her life.
She tells me that she has touched the moon and it feels so good!
To read about my personal journey of getting Unstuck, pick up a copy of my book
” Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
Health is wealth, If you don’t have your, health, no amount of wealth can buy it. A healthy, weight, is an indication of health so today we are talking about, how to lose weight, without dieting.
Listen to full interview here:
Health is Wealth
Think about it. Most of us dream about becoming wealthy but would you trade your ability to walk for a million dollars? I know I wouldn’t.
The second way we could look at the phrase, health is wealth, is that you can be healthy but poor and still be happy. On the flip side, you can have copious amounts of wealth, but if you don’t have your, health, you would willingly trade all your money to feel good or be healthy again.
So the message in this, health is wealth, series is, You can’t just trash your body and then try to alleviate the evidence of disease.
Healthy Weight Loss
Health, is not the absence of disease, disease is the absence of, health.
What is, health? According to the dictionary, health, is fitness of body or mind, and freedom from disease or ailment. It can be body fitness, or mental fitness.
What is wealth? In the same dictionary the meaning of, wealth, is stated as “a great quantity of money, valuable possessions, property, or other riches.
So in the first episode of this series we and going to unpack how your, health is your wealth,. To start off this series, our topic today is “How to Lose Weight, without dieting”
How to Lose Weight when you Have an Eating Disorder
At a very young age, I suddenly and randomly developed an obsession with my size. I thought that my thighs should be thinner and I thought if my thighs were smaller, I would be perfect. By the way, I was a perfectly normal weight.But I became convinced that thinner legs would somehow make me better.This obsession just got worse as I got older and by the time I was an adolescent,I had full blown, eating disorder.My last thought at night was what did I eat today.I would fall asleep counting the calories and fat grams of my food intake for the day and figuring how to, lose weight,
The scale was my most welcome friend and my biggest enemy, it ruled my life.So much so that when I went hiking with friends or did anything fun like dancing,I would focus on how many calories I was burning instead of how much fun I was having.I would be calculating how, to loose weight,
Getting Therapy to Help Lose Weight
I would restrict restrict myself of food and then eventually I would binge and then purge. So finally I went to therapy.Iwould open up with my therapist about every aspect of my life except one, I never ever told her what was going on with me and food.I went to my therapist once a week for three years and I never talked about what was going with my. eating disorders.
After some time in therapy, I became aware of my feelings.I learned to process my emotions rather than to deny them.I learned to use words to comfort myself instead of using words to criticize myself.By the time I left therapy, I had zero, eating disorder, or, anorexia, issues and No unhealthy relationship to food. The amazing thing about this is that not once did I ever talked about food to my therapist.When I fixed my emotional issues, I fixed my, anorexia.So the answer to the question How to, lose weight, without, dieting, is first learning how to process your emotions instead of stuffing them down with food.
People ask me all the time. How did you recover from three, eating disorders, that consumed your life without ever talking about it?How is that possible?The answer is that whatever was going on with food and my, eating disorders, was a symptom of the actual problem, not the problem.When Ilearned different ways of coping with what was going on with me, I cured my, eating disorders including, anorexia.
How to, lose weight, by understanding why you eat certain finds of foods
I developed this formula to help people figure out you know what is eating them out.
If you like creamy foods like ice cream or frozen yogurt or pudding. It suggests a longing for comfort or nurturing. Limit your exposure to these foods to, lose weight,.
If you like foods that like bread, pasta, cake, pizza those are correlated to loneliness since they arebulky and they symbolically filling an internal void.Fill your internal void by finding a hobby. Doing something you like instead of eating. It will help you to, lose weight,
Finally, foodsthat are crunchy like chips or pretzels, anything with a crunch suggest you are angry. Dealing with your anger in a healthy way will help you to, lose weight.
The best way to deal with the triggers of emotional eating is try to understand where they’re coming from.It is the first step. The next step is to deal with those an underlying feelings of lack of self worth.
How do you see yourself?
How do you feel your loneliness?
How do you express your anger?
How do you deal with what you are feeling?
Weight Loss Tips
Nurtureyourself with words instead of ice cream.If you use mean words to describe yourself and then you nurture yourself with food, it becomes a viscous cycle. You eat the ice cream and you call yourself nasty words for being so weak, then you eat again to comfort yourself.
When you feel good about yourself it’s easier to be good to yourself.
The most practical thing that you can do, is to throw out your scale. It is a tyrant, it does not measure your value, it ruins your day. It has too much power over you,so getting it out of your life is a very powerful stance that you can take on your own behalf.
Download to listen to the rest of this powerful interview and learn five main reasons for diet sabotage.
Download and subscribe to hear all episodes in this series.
Do you ever think that you have too much stuff? Maybe two or three of the same item but don’t have the one thing you need or want? Or maybe you spend hours getting ready to host a garage sale only to have most of the things taken to charity anyway. Perhaps you have a service you’d like to offer in exchange for another service that you need or maybe just looking for one specific hard-to-find item like sports memorabilia or auto parts. Well BarterUpOnline.com can help you solve all of these problems. Whether you have unwanted items, looking for specific items or simply willing to trade services, https://barteruponline.com/ is for you. The process is easy come to our website sign up for a monthly account which will cost you $2 dollars a month billed once a month or sign up for an annual account, which will cost you $1 dollar a month Billed once a year. So visit our website today, no money no problem, only trades.
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We should, play to win. I wrote the book “Out of the Snares, a story of Hope and Encouragement” with the intention of drawing, life lessons, from various aspects of my Life and how I, played to win. For example the first life event that I introduced in my book is as a victim of childhood, sexual abuse, and being born into, poverty.
The, life lesson, I share here is that of the, victim mentality.
You don’t have to be a, victim, in life; instead become a player.
Just like in the game of blackjack, if the dealer is showing a picture card and you only have small cards, you don’t chuck your hand in and say there’s no way that I can win.
You must, play to win. All you need is the intention to win and guess what, your hand is going to get better.
Quitters Never Win and Winners Never Quit
Here is a short excerpt from my book:
Intro How to Play to Win – My story
I was born into a family with nothing, my mother and grandmother were both domestic servants. My dad was in Teachers College and did not know his real father. He lived with his mom and stepfather who was an alcoholic. In 1959 Guyana was a British colony of England.
Just like England colonized India and took all the wealth out of India, in a similar way England took all of Guyana’s resources out of the country.
Most of the Blacks and Indians were living in, poverty. My mom and grandmother worked for white English folk.
As a child I was always fed and had clothes and shoes to wear. My mom and grandmother both made our clothes.
So, it was understandable that I would be drawn to my godfather, who was a wealthy man with several houses, several cars and a corner shop filled with snacks and chocolate bars. Mr. Clark as I will call him took a liking to me beyond that of a Godfather and treated me like his grandchild.
I spent a lot of time at his house. He took me out with his family every weekend and really showered me with things.
He gave me food, gold chains and gold bracelets, he was also a goldsmith. I ended up sleeping over at his house several times per week and playing with his grandchildren. He used to like to bounce me on his knee with his legs massaging my private parts.
One day my memory recalls, I was about five years old, he braced me up against the wall and caressed my body. As I got older the, sexual abuse, became more intimate.
He would rub my legs whenever I was close. His favorite was the feeling me up in the front seat of his car while driving me to school.
His hand would be under my skirt fingering my private parts. I was sure that people in other cars could see this, sexual abuse, but he said they could not.
This, childhood sexual abuse, continued for several years until one day he took me behind his shop and took my virginity with his fingers.
I didn’t tell anyone I’m not sure why. I do remember thinking that I loved him so much and wanted to die before he did.
Mr. Clark started getting a reputation for liking little girls and my dad asked me one day if Mr. Clark ever, sexual abused, me, I lied and said he had not.
I’m going to skip a couple of paragraphs, I don’t want to get into the nitty-gritty details here.
I’m going to read to you now my conclusion of this chapter.
Play to Win by collapsing your consciousness
How did I, play to win? Looking back, if I were to collapse my consciousness and become the observer in this experience, I would say that at some subconscious level I knew what we were doing was wrong. I knew that I was being, sexually abused.
I’m not sure why I chose to keep it a secret.
Research shows that children of, childhood sexual abuse, never tell, they become ashamed and feel that they are to blame. I know I have always felt shamed. It took me a very, very, long time to share my story. Writing this book was my way of coming into the light and putting the devil on notice that I will no longer let guilt and shame be a part of my life.
That was my introduction to my book.
Pick up a copy to read the full story.
Playing to Win Using CANI
I have, played to win, the, sexual abuse, card and, poverty, by concentrating on, CANI.Constant and Never Ending Improvement.
They say that the secret to happiness is always moving towards a goal and that is how I, play to win.
It is wonderful that we’re meeting today in a library because I have always been a reader.
Reading books is how you, play to win!
Tony Robbins is now a billionaire because he made himself read 700 books per year and those books taught him everything he knows.
Pat Riley of the Miami Heat said
“If you’re not growing, you are dying”
Play to win using vibrational frequency
The second way I have, played to win, with the cards I have been dealt was to become conscious of my vibrational frequency.
I learned that later in life before I wrote my first book “Becoming Conscious, my awakening”
I started understanding my vibrations. You see whenever somebody does something to us, we feel bad and what happens when we feel bad?
We attract more of the same. We always say bad things comes in three’s, that is because you are attracting them to you.
So when you’re in a funk you have to find some way to make yourself feel better, and one of the ways I do that is to always live in gratitude.
Because regardless of what’s going on in your life, there’s always something that you can be grateful for. Breath, sight, food in your fridge, etc.
So, find some gratitude and feel that energy release a positive force that reverses all the bad in your life!
In 2009 at the age of 33 Genese became CEO and founder of Passion Rescue Mission and reopened the Genecoit Vertus School of Excellence in Francois, Haiti providing tuition free education and serving over 225 students.
Genese How Have you played with the cards you were dealt in Life?
Winning has to less with the cards you have in your hand and more to do with how you play the game.
You have to, play to win.
How did I, play to win? I was born in one of the poorest countries in the Western Hemisphere, which is Haiti.
The goal is to win no matter what seven piece of dominoes or cards you have in your hand.
Kenny Rogers sings a song that says
“You have to know when to Hold and when to Fold”
Three simple things helped me play with my cards.
1. My faith in God
2. Pursuit of an education
3. A strong support system
I was fortunate enough to come to this great country to get an education and in 2009 I returned back to Haiti and reopened a school that my father built. We started with 189
students at that time currently we have 225 students getting a tuition-free education in one of the poorest, mountainous, villages in Haiti, which is Francois Haiti. We provide meals, we provide school supplies we provide uniforms and we have 12 teachers that are employed.
I have a waiting list of over 300 students wanting to get into that school right now; so it’s not enough To, play to win, we must give back. Once you get to where you need to be, you need to
reach back and help your people.
If you need information on making a donation
Please visit www.passionrescuemission.org </a
Jenny Wang Playing to Win
Jenny is passionate about helping people improve Performance through holistic learning. She is a Professional Certified Coach and a Senior Learning and Program Manager at Nutranext, which is the healthiest employer in the US. Jenny is also a Certified Health Coach and co-author of Bringing Mindfulness to Your Workplace. Jenny and I worked together at Office Depot. She was my mentor at Toastmasters, then she became my Coachee as she worked on finding her purpose. I’m Sure she has found her purpose.
Jenny – I have had some good cards. But there are some cards we cannot choose. We cannot chose our Father we cannot choose our Mother or our relatives.
I was born and raised in China in a very traditional family. I don’t have trauma in my life, my parents are very lovely and educated; but there’s one thing that we never agreed on. When I got married I never thought I wanted children.
I don’t know how many of you are natural parents; but I was not one of them. When I was at 34 years old my father called me from China had a big argument with me. He wanted to have a grandchild. So, How did I, play to win? I chose to honor my father’s request because family is important to me.
Now eight years later, people ask me what was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life? And I say “To have a child” My son has brought me so much joy, so much wonderful
things to my life that I have never ever thought that I would have.
The second card everyone has, but they also cannot chose is Passion and purpose.
The 3rd card we are dealt is Health. The most important thing for everybody is good health. I decided to take the journey of being a, Yoga Instructor, and a Health Coach.
I learned we can become happy by changing how we move our bodies. Yoga, encourages us to think about our health.
No matter how busy you are, no matter how much outside achievement you have, by the end of the day you have to take time for yourself.
I hope you enjoyed this presentation both audio and written. Now I need something from you.
Support Passion Rescue Mission by making a donation.
Subscribe to this podcast and leave a review. And don’t forget about sharing this podcast. I am sure you know at least one person who could benefit from the information shared here today.
Building true, confidence, after the betrayal of a partner is a gradual process. How to be confident, after a, divorce, is a gradual process. No one is going to turn into a positive, self-confident, person overnight. But if you’re in need of a place to start, here are 6 tips on, how to be confident, after losing your man.
This week on Transform your Mind podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Confidence mentor Di Ridell. Di is going to talk to us today on the subject “7 Ways to get your, confidence, back after a, divorce, of death of a spouse.”
10 Tips on How to Build Confidence:
1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. I know from experience that this is a, self-confidence, killer, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone younger. Remember that you’re only seeing the surface of their lives and looks, not the underlying reality. Focus instead on what’s important–your own strengths and goals.
2. Keep your limiting beliefs at bay.
Even the most successful people with healthy relationships have limiting beliefs about themselves, but the biggest difference is that they choose to focus on their strengths and possibilities instead of their limits.
3. Live in a positive reality.
Don’t say anything about yourself that you don’t want to become a reality. Positive thoughts and words alone won’t make you a more, confident, person, but, confident, people do think a lot of positive things about themselves. Remind yourself of what you’re capable of and what you’ve already accomplished.
4. Don’t mask it.
Self-confidence, isn’t the impression you give others; but how you feel about yourself. It’s all about who you are, where you are, and where you want to be in your own life and relationships.
5. Change what you can.
Confident, people know they cannot change the past, but they can change the future. They make daily choices that lead them toward the future they want to live out.
6. Be fully committed.
Be fully committed to doing whatever you can to build your success every single day, accepting full responsibility for your life. If it gets uncomfortable, you’re probably on the right track! Don’t procrastinate, do what it takes without agonizing or drama.
7. Practice Self Love
8. Take action to get back on the horse. Don’t isolate yourself
9. Have a Level 5 Friend to share your darkest thoughts
10. Complete yourself and not wait for someone to complete you
The nature of confidence
You should not allow your, confidence, to be dictated by someone else’s feelings in any facet of your daily life. Your feelings are just as valid as theirs, and you should never allow someone else to sink yours like an anchor, just because you have been through the, divorce, experience.
Your behavior should not be driven by the emotions of anyone, especially your ex-spouse. They may attempt to reenter the picture for whatever reason, and while that reason may be valid and may need to be dealt with, there is no reason you should allow their thoughts and their feelings to bring you down or shatter any progress you have made in rebuilding your confidence.
You cannot and should not allow yourself to be manipulated in this way. If you sense that the conversation is headed in a direction that you are not comfortable with, it is imperative that you exercise some, self-love, and remove yourself from any narrative that would damage your post-divorce recovery process.
You need to be able to believe in your ability to rebuild your life and move forward. After a, divorce, you may begin to question your ability to make life decisions, but do not let one setback color your perspective and prevent you from making these types of calls.
Whether it is through your job, your friends, your family, or a new relationship, you can make different aspects of your new life matter and move past the negativity of a dysfunctional and unhappy marriage. Your productivity in starting over and taking each step to a new future is something you should be proud of and should give you the, confidence, boost you need to take additional steps.