How to become Limitless: Emotional Intelligence Leadership

Become Limitless using emotional intelligence self awareness

Become limitless, with, emotional intelligence leadership. Your, emotional intelligence leadership, skills keeps track of everything. It stores emotions, holds emotional experiences. Emotional intelligence self awareness, refers to your ability to notice and express your emotions. How well you control your own emotions and to notice as well and to manage how those emotions affect you and affect us around you in positive or negative ways.

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Introduction to becoming Limitless with, Emotional Intelligence Self Awareness

My guest today is Adri Kyser, she is an international holistic wellness and personal development Coach. We discuss the very exciting topic, renewing your mind, going from limited to, limitless by taping into our, emotional intelligence.

Adri Kyser yoga, uses the enlightened alchemy method that has helped thousands of women worldwide achieve everything from reduced pain and stress to increasing confidence and productivity. She’s also the co-author of the best-selling book “Overcoming Adversity and Entrepreneurship”

She was born in Venezuela, went to Law school, (since I was born in Guyana, we are neighbors.) But when she came to the United States she felt not good enough, because she spoke with an accent.

Adri has helped over 4500 men and women worldwide change the narrative of their painful memories, so they can tap into their own super power and go from being limited to living a life of, limitless, potential.

The Four Components to becoming, Limitless

I found four key components to long-lasting health, happiness and fulfillment using, emotional intelligence leadership.

Physical health – how you take care of your body
Mental wellness – how you perceive the world number
Emotional Intelligence – how you experience the world
Spiritual connection – how you feed your soul including, Adri Kyser yoga

When you really begin to work on these foundations, these pillars you begin to shift and see tremendous transformations in your life. You begin to heal from the inside out, and become empowered. You are no longer driven by your negative voice.

The impostor syndrome that a lot of us have, especially women is that voice that’s constantly saying. Are you sure you can do that? You’re not good enough to do that. That voice that feeds your fears, your insecurities and even your self-sabotaging behavior, that negative voice. Using your, emotional intelligence leadership, skills allows you to become aware of that voice.

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Myrna – If we want to change, then it’s never from the exterior, it’s always from the interior. A lot of women feel they are not good enough. Michelle Obama wrote an entire book on this subject “Becoming”. Even as the First Lady, she still felt not good enough.

We feel not good enough, when a person of authority tells us something negative and it becomes imprinted on our minds.

Most of the time we stuff it down and don’t actually know that we are holding on to that hurt, then it comes it comes up in chronic pain. It comes up in overeating or even when you drink or take drugs or any of that stuff. You are trying to artificially change your state; but one of the best ways to change your state is to go inwards maybe in gratitude, because that’s basically what I do.

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What is your method for teaching someone to understand what emotions they’ve stuffed down?

Adri – I call this process Enlightened Alchemy. This is a process that was born from my personal experience and then from working with clients. It is the process of transforming the physical, mental, and emotional with, emotional intelligence leadership. Including even the spiritual transformation of one’s self.

What made these transformations successful, was not just addressing the pain or one particular area of life, it was addressing all those four components of life. If you’re ready to get the soulmate, ready to lose the weight, ready to make X amount of money in your business? I am here to help you go from limited to, limitless, using your, emotional intelligence leadership.

I’m here to help you go within, clear some stuff, remove the stuff that’s preventing you from, becoming limitless. So you can feel empowered, so you can feel confident and know your true potential to, become limitless.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio — iHeart Radio

Myrna – As Coaches we are supposed to be enabling our clients, we’re supposed to be having our clients understand their blockages, understand what’s preventing them from becoming, limitless, by looking at their past and seeing their patterns. Using, emotional intelligence leadership.

Is your Enlightened Alchemy based on the four principles: the physical, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual?

Adri – Yes. I also call myself an energy alchemist, because I do a lot of energy work and activation.

Because everybody’s unique, I truly believe in the holistic approach, mind, body, emotions and spirit; so that everything we do whether it’s business coaching or life coaching or whatever it is includes all four pillars.

How can, emotional intelligence leadership, help someone with emotions that they’ve stuffed down?

Adri – Your body remembers everything that you’ve ever done. Every emotion, every thought, how you’re eating, how you’re sleeping. It keeps track of everything. Moving to the mental part of your thoughts, on average an individual has about 70 000 thoughts per day.

About 10% of those thoughts are original thoughts so meaning 90% of your thoughts are repetition of the day before, or weeks before, or even years before. The problem with this, is your belief will affect your biology. Meaning your belief will affect how your body responds. It changes your biochemistry.

So that’s why the mind and body are so important. Emotional intelligence self awareness, keeps track of everything. It stores emotions, holds emotional experiences. Emotional intelligence leadership, refers to your ability to notice and express your emotions. How well you control your own emotions and to notice as well and to manage how those emotions affect you and affect us around you in positive or negative ways.

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What people don’t know is that emotions are molecules that carry information that affect the functioning of their cells their emotions. Emotional Intelligence, will affect your biology just as your thoughts. So, emotional intelligence leadership, is important, because if you don’t have, emotional intelligence self awareness, you are not able to relate with the world around you or with others.

You’re not able to read the social cues. Emotional intelligence leadership, also empowers you to take control back of your life. You’re no longer coming from a victim place, you’re no longer pointing fingers, because that person did this to me. Emotional intelligence leadership, is about understanding how you’re managing the emotions that you’re experiencing.

Emotional Intelligence to become Limitless — Emotional Intelligence leadership to become Limitless

According to Ayurveda the emotions that are not expressed or digested properly, gets buried in your tissues and fascia and will affect your physical well-being. So over 15 years of teaching, Adri Kyser yoga, and wellness, I have had students who cried after releasing these emotions that were buried in their tissues.

We hold anger in our liver, grief is in our chest and lungs.

The other thing I like about, emotional intelligence leadership, is it gives you the opportunity to take your power back. So if someone is making you angry, then you can ask yourself, why am I choosing to be angry about this?

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Then you can move to asking yourself, what is triggering this emotion within me?

You can take your power back, by not letting people trigger you. The other part about triggers is recognizing what part within you is getting triggered. Where the hurt coming from, because if you come and tell me Adri you are not a good rocket scientist, I wouldn’t get triggered.

You can only be triggered by limited beliefs. Limiting beliefs keep you limited not, limitless.

If somebody right now tells me either you’re a horrible coach or you’re a bad yoga teacher. It will probably trigger me because it could be true.

If there’s a trigger still around, that means there’s still a part of me that’s not healed. If you are still being triggered, you’ve gotta rub it out. Figure out what is making you angry? What is this anger telling me? Using, emotional intelligence leadership, skills and having the responsibility and the maturity and the tools necessary to go deeper and figure it out. It’s not saying that, Adri Kyser yoga, never gets angry.

We have to feel our emotions in order to process them, that’s emotional intelligence leadership. In order to release them and in order to learn the lessons that they want to teach us, so the next time your reaction may be milder.

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How do you go from limited to, limitless with, Emotional Intelligence Leadership

If you’re operating with, limited mindsets, then you are going to be limited. I like to start with the physical body, because that’s where you’re going to start seeing the fastest results. When you feel safe and secure, when you are comfortable in your own skin, then you’re going to be able to go deeper into the other layers.

So to become, limitless, it’s recognizing where your self-imposed limitations are. We can learn to fly and soar in our personal relationships, in our growth. The limits that we have, oftentimes come from self-imposed limitations or limits that other people have put on us. When it comes to living a, limitless, life it is working in your mindset and working on your, emotional intelligence leadership.

It’s really about becoming aware. Awareness is key. Thoughts and emotions you’re experiencing on a regular basis it is important to be aware. Grab a journal and start the practice where you write down the thoughts and emotions you’re having on a regular basis. Once a week or once a month review what you’re writing.

You’re going to see patterns. You’re going to say “oh my gosh look how many times I thought about this and that.”

Emotional intelligence leadership, is key. You cannot change something you don’t know. That it’s like being in a dark room that’s dirty and messy; but because the lights are out, you don’t see the the mess or the dirt until you turn the lights on.

I created a workbook that I’m happy to offer to your podcast listeners. It’s free. It’s simple, but it gives you some exercises and things that you can implement right away for you to become aware and notice some of your limiting beliefs that run in the background.

So with this workbook can take you from limited to, limitless. I give you the tools to become aware of your limiting beliefs. It allows you to understand that the universe is unlimited and the universe is abundant.

How can our listeners get a copy of your workbook.

My website is www.adrikaiser. They can also go to adrikeiser.com/free-gifts

Conclusion

If you decide to step out of your comfort zone and if you’re willing to work on yourself and use your, emotional intelligence leadership, and you’re willing to try something new. You can find new levels of strength, confidence, comfort or success that you never thought possible. So push yourself, because if you stay in your comfort zone, you’re never going to excel at anything.

I invite you to subscribe to the Transform your mind podcast YouTube channel to watch this interview live.

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-does-emotional-intelligence-affect-your-success/

https://globalleadershipfoundation.com/geit/eitest.html

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

July 20, 2020July 20, 2020

Funding Global Consciousness and Mental Awareness

My guest today is Charlie Hartwell, a Change Agent and Operating Partner at Bridge Builders Collaborative. Today we are going to be speaking on the topic “Funding the Global Movement towards, Consciousness, and Awareness”.

Listen to the Interview

Charlie is a Change Agent who shepherds ideas, resources and talent to drive global sustainable growth. Passionate about transformation and innovation, he is a leader who ignites teams to accomplish remarkable results. Charlie is also a Harvard Business School graduate and has led various roles in 14 different industries over his career.

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Myrna – I know business school teaches you about business. Why did you settle on the, consciousness, and mental awareness, part of business?

Charlie – I have to say my wife got me into it. You’ll probably hear about my wife a lot on this interview. I describe her as the wisdom of our family. My wife has been in the, consciousness, and, spirituality, space for 40 years, in various roles. She was also involved with The Mind and Life Institute. The Mind and life Institute was founded by a Stanford MBA, a Chilean neuro scientist and the Dalai Lama and proves through science the benefits of contemplative practices like, mindfulness, consciousness, mental awareness, etc. The organization’s started 40 years ago and my wife became involved about 14 or 15 years ago. She introduced me to the organization and the investors who started Bridge Builders Collaborative. They wanted to understand the science behind, mindfulness, and mind training. They needed someone to go out and find out whether there were investments for, consciousness, and, mental awareness, so they hired me to do that work for them; that was about nine years ago.

Myrna – Okay that’s great! Okay so 40 years, that’s a long time to be in the, consciousness, space. Do you practice, mindfulness, yourself or are you just involved in the business aspect of it?

Charlie – I would say yes, I practice, mindfulness. I had my own experience, before starting this job. I might even call it my own awakening. It caused a deepening of my own, consciousness, and awareness.

There have been thousands of research studies around the benefits of, consciousness, and, mindfulness. That research is ongoing, it’s all about, mindfulness for stress reduction, mindfulness for depression or anxiety. Mindfulness, has been studied around the world by leading institutions, and that is when it got to a point where we thought there was enough validation, that’s really when entrepreneurs started to ask the question. How can we take this, mindfulness, and conscious awareness and create a company out of it, and help bring it to more people in the world?

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Myrna – Consciousness, and, mindfulness, are experiencing a Global Movement. I was listening to, Sadhguru, on the School of Greatness Podcast and he was discussing his book Inner Engineering. So I went out and purchased, Sadhguru’s, book Inner Engineering and this morning on my morning walk, I started listening to this book. Just the first chapter of Inner Engineering, blew me away. Sadhguru, talked about how he would go into a trance like state with his eyes open and sit there for hours. How he could feel his digestion! It was amazing.

Charlie why do you believe there’s a global movement towards, consciousness, and, spirituality? We talked about the benefits of, mindfulness, do you think that the East is coming to the West?

Charlie – First of all, I just want to say I love, Sadhguru. I owe him and I love the man very deeply. Secondly my own perspective, I don’t claim to be right on this; my own perspective is that there is such a level of stress and suffering in the world, that Eastern practices like Buddhism are filling a need. We have to reduce suffering, we have to reduce stress and anxiety, and, consciousness, and, mindfulness, are tools that are coming to help people in the United States and around the world. These, consciousness, tools help people to get more in touch with themselves. To help them to connect more deeply to themselves and hopefully help them live happier, healthier and more authentic lives.

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Myrna – That’s was the first part of, Sadhguru’s, book. How to find joy. Sadhguru, made the comment that in the olden days, people were stressed because they were hungry and it was all about survival; but once your belly is full, you should be happy because, that’s usually the survival part of life. Sadhguru, went on to say that now that our bellies are full and we are the most privileged people in history, we are more unhappy and stressed than our ancestors!

Charlie – That’s where programs about stress reduction and, mindfulness, come into play. It’s a great endeavor to fund more of these companies, so that a lot more people can have access to these tools. They won’t have to go to India, which is where the majority of these teachings originates, they can access these companies in the United States and that is where your company comes in.

Strategy for Funding Consciousness

Myrna – So, let’s talk about what your strategy is to invest in companies by helping them allow people to go deeper into, consciousness, and mental awareness. Tell us about your company and how you help investors.

Charlie – When we make an investment, we try to add value to those investments in several different ways, The first way is through what I would call counsel. My partners and business leaders, who have led in many different industries, have start-up experience or have invested in many companies; so they have the wisdom to provide the entrepreneur with help that entrepreneur be more successful.

The second thing we do is because we are so connected in the space, we’re the only investors that are solely focused on the, consciousness, and, mindfulness, space; so we know many of the world’s leading spiritual teachers. We also know many of the world’s scientists, we are also connected into the healthcare system. We’re connected to other entrepreneurs and investors, so we add connections that help make introductions that help the entrepreneurs in several different ways.

Thirdly, we’ve developed a really good reputation for being investors that not only care about making money; but we care about making an impact in the world. So, if we invest in someone, it adds to their credibility.

Finally our purpose is to provide capital or cash that helps the entrepreneur to hire people, do marketing campaigns, build platforms etc. but that’s the least important to us.

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Myrna – Well that’s great! So, coaching, counseling, you introduce them to the leading scientists, spiritual leaders like, Sadhguru, and then you provide cash. Nice, so how does someone find you? Or how do you go about selecting the companies that you want to invest in?

Charlie – People tend to find us because we’re known in this space. Our website is BB collaborative and we tend to use as a funnel and our screening process.

Nine Steps to Funding a Consciousness Business

When somebody comes to me with a business idea, it’s normally because they’ve started their business.
They’ve got their first customers.
They’ve got revenue coming in the door and we provide the growth capital. That’s what I look for.
Then we ask the question if our investors were to invest in this company, what is the impact that we can make on a global scale?
Next what’s the science behind the product? We try to do an assessment, if the science is good or where are the holes in the science.
We also look at the entrepreneur. do an assessment if the entrepreneur themselves is conscious, if the entrepreneur is vulnerable and is willing to do their own personal work, is willing to let go of ego.
Are they skilled at running a business and being able to grow that business.
Is the product differentiated? Is there a need for it?
Lastly we look at if we invest in this product, How much potential money can we make from it? How can the company be sustainable? Can it provide returns on our capital? How much of a return can shareholder expect?

Myrna – I like what you said about wanting to know the science behind a project. Can you give me an example of one of your investments that would maybe fit this model?

Companies using Science to promote Global, Consciousness

Charlie – I’ll give you a few different examples. I’m on the board of Muse Guided Meditations. I am passionate about that company. We’ve been investors for seven years. A lot of people have heard of a company called Headspace. We were one of the early investors in Headspace. The company has done a great job of rebranding meditation and making it accessible to the modern world actually. Sadhguru, is on the platform.

It’s a global community of 7,000 spiritual teachers, musicians, scientists that meet on a platform community of sixteen million. About five hundred thousand people use it every day. What I like about this platform is that it’s all free. It’s free content. There are forty five thousand meditations that are available for free. You could subscribe if you want special features; but you never have to pay for the service and you can connect with the world’s leading spiritual teachers and find content that suits either your spiritual tradition or the specific teacher that you want. It’s a very diverse group of teachers, 44 teachers are teaching in 44 different language and it’s global.

I’ll just mention you know another company called ‘Happify’ which is kind of a behavioral health platform for, mindfulness, positive psychology, and cognitive behavioral therapy. It’s an app and they kind of gamified the experience. They’re actually going through the FDA process to become a digital therapeutic program; so that it can be prescribed by doctors and reimbursed by insurance companies. They are hoping to be able to treat actual conditions without taking as many drugs.

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Myrna – So that’s so that’s beautiful! I’m definitely going to try Headspace. I’m thinking that it’s almost the same thing as Muse. No?

Charlie – Muse is a hardware device where you could see your brainwaves. It allows you to basically see whether you’re in a calm or focused state. It connects to your phone. Headspace is more just like a meditation app, it doesn’t have a hardware component to it.

Myrna – As we wrap up the interview I’m curious to hear about how you started a non-profit in the slums or poverty-stricken areas of Nairobi Kenya that has served three to five million patients so far. Can you tell us about that? Is that also part of the Global, consciousness, and, spirituality, movement?

Charlie – So, in 1986 I’d gotten out of college, I was traveling around the world. I was kind of working weird jobs and in remote places and the last place that I landed was in Nairobi, where I worked as a social worker for like three months. I learned that I didn’t like Social Work at all. I wasn’t good at it, and yet I became passionate about the continent of Africa. I wanted to do something to help create change, I knew it wasn’t going to be through social work but, you know the best way I could think of to try to help people was to start a business. I had a co-founder, a Kenyan who I co-founded the organization with and one other guy that I went to college with, and we started this organization called Provide international. It started as a child feeding program then we started a business loan program for women entrepreneurs, not necessarily in the, consciousness, or, mindfulness, space.

Then we discovered that what the community was asking for was a health care organization; so we started a health care organization.

They had the first maternity wards in any poverty-stricken areas of Africa that I know about, we had the first ambulance.
We had one of only two ambulances in the entire country of Kenya.
They had the first eye doctors and dentists in those areas. After 9 years, I decided to turn it over to the Kenyan, so they could run it themselves not have Americans overseeing them.

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I went back you 30 years later for the anniversary and they had seven centers, they treated millions of patients. They’d been very successful at helping to bring health care into the communities. I was proud of what they had accomplished.

Myrna – How can people find you to request funding?

Charlie – People can find me at you know on LinkedIn at Charlie Hartwell. I have a medium blog and I write articles on, mindfulness, and, consciousness.

Myrna – All right so, I don’t have anything more. I just wanted to thank you for coming on the show and expanding our, consciousness, on how we can possibly build our inner engineering with, mindfulness, and have a global impact in the world. We start by changing ourselves first so, once we change ourselves or we change internally, then we can contribute to the global movement towards spirituality.

I want to invite you guys all to join my private Facebook group called ‘Life Coach’ and to remember to subscribe to the Transform your Mind Radio and Podcast, on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts. You can now also watch the interview live on the Transform Your Mind YouTube channel. Would love for you to subscribe.

Additional Resources

Seven Ways Spirituality Helps Fulfillment of Dreams

Life Leadership & Success

July 14, 2020July 14, 2020

Does Love have a Color: The Interracial Marriage Experience

Not until after we got married Kevin confided and shared with me a few situations where family members questioned his choices and wanted to ensure he understood the challenges that come with an, interracial marriage. Ericka Augutis

I want to invite you guys all to the table. We are going to be talking on the topic the, “The Color of love, interracial marriages, in America” my guest today is Erica Augustus.

Listen to the interview

Interracial Marriage in America

Ericka and I became friends when we worked at Office Depot for about 10 years, and we have maintained our friendship. I decided that I wanted to get into the conversation on, interracial marriages, in America because of what’s been happening in the world and specifically in the last month or so.

It’s a very difficult place for a, black woman, married to a, white man. I think it’s even a little bit more complicated when your partner or your spouse cannot understand a lot of the times your, black experience. I was listening to a podcast a few weeks ago and this, black woman, was talking about her experience.

She was married for 13 years to a, white man, the marriage dissolved not because of racial differences or any kind of racial problems, but she said it contributed to it, because her husband never really got into the conversation. If she would come home and say she was discriminated against at the office, he didn’t have a response or didn’t talk about it and then the host asked her the question.

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Interracial Marriage black man white woman

Can a, white man, love a, black woman, and still be a racist?

And her response was, “love has nothing to do with it”, now that piqued my interest and that’s the predominant reason that I wanted to get into this conversation, and have you guys all join in the conversation and discuss, the color of love.

Interracial Marriage Interview Highlights

1. How did you and your husband meet?
2. How Ericka and Kevin handled the stares from Black and White people in their, interracial marriage, when they walked down the street.
3. What are her thoughts on Systemic racism, did her husband understand her experience as a, Black woman.
4. Love has no color. How easy is it to love someone from a different race?
5. How does she and her husband talk to her black sons regarding the police.

My name is Ericka Augutis, my husband Kevin and I have been married for 18 years 19 in November. We do have two children. One is 14 and the other is 4.

We met about 22 years ago. He worked at a local Blockbuster in my neighborhood. He was a manager and anytime I would go into the store to look at videos, he would offer to help me. Well that’s when our relationship started. Finally we went on our first date and I have to say it was really awkward for both of us and I thought okay I’m never doing that again. He was super quiet there was very little conversation. A few months went by and he called again, and asked for a second date and I was going to say no, but my mom chimed in and asked me to give him another chance. I’m so glad I did that second date because we just had the best time.

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We dated to my dismay for nearly five years, we were engaged twice. The first proposal I accepted I was elated. I was excited to say yes; but a few months later we went to a party with some of our friends and I realized some of the ladies didn’t even know I was engaged. Here I was super excited and some of his circle of friends didn’t know that were engaged. So, it really hit me hard. I felt like okay I’m really pressuring him into this, interracial marriage. So I called off the engagement.

After that we kind of went our separate ways for a few months and then we slowly started dating again. And I have to say both of us matured during that time of separation and he proposed a second time in restaurant. He got down on one knee in front of all these people and proposed me a second time. This time he was ready! We got married like a year later.

Myrna Young Did you think that he maybe didn’t want to tell his friends he was engaged because you were a, black woman?

Ericka Augutis No, I don’t think the fact that we were contemplating an, interracial marriage, had anything to do with it, or the, color of love, because I was in his circle of friends for four years. We all vacationed together so it wasn’t that. I just felt like he wasn’t ready and I was forcing him to get married.

Myrna Young I’m going to ask you not a question as a follow-up to that. So all the time you guys dated, five years or so, you got engaged twice you didn’t see color? The question today is there a, color of love? Did any of your friends treated you differently? Or said Ericka he’s white? None of his friends says hey Kevin why do you want to marry a, black woman? Nothing?

Ericka Augutis Not until after we got married Kevin confided and shared with me a few situations where family, maybe one or two family members, questioned his choices and wanted to ensure he understood the challenges to come with an, interracial marriage.

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So yes, from my perspective it came later as well, being a successful, black woman, my parents and other family members wanted to know why I was dating someone that doesn’t look like me. I really had to kind of ask myself that question as well. I realized it’s not as if I said to myself, I’m going to find a Caucasian man and have this, interracial marriage. I fell in love with a white man.

Myrna Young Yea Love is color blind actually, Love is an Emotion, it’s a feeling and it doesn’t see color!

Ericka Augutis There were experiences and times where we had to deal with the looks and the stairs especially when we would go into places where everyone was a little older. I would say during that time anyone that was over age of 65 would give us those looks on both sides. It’s not just the Caucasian folks, black folks as well.

Myrna Young Did you let the stares and looks bother you?

Ericka Augutis No, Kevin was always so confident and strong and it made me just feel like I had nothing to worry about. But there was this time just after we had our son Kevin Jr, we were having dinner in this fancy restaurant and this gentleman, I probably shouldn’t call him a gentleman. A white man, came over to our table and he said to Kevin, Is this your son? My husband says yes, he says well I’m going to tell you I’m a doctor that’s not your son!

You got to be kidding me!

I am not kidding. it was such a strange experience. I mean he just came over and I think his goal was just to disturb our night and really rock and test the foundations of our, interracial marriage. That was one experience that I’ll never forget.

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Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Myrna Young Okay but in your marriage of itself was there any kind of friction at all regarding race? Was all the friction from outside people looking in and trying to disturb your harmony? For instance as a, black woman, is it hard to go and talk to a partner that is outside your race about racism that’s been happening to you? Because, it’s not their experience and they can’t understand it how a, black women, survive in the workplace for instance? As a, black woman, I have not been discriminated against a lot and especially growing up in Canada; but I know that if I was talking to a, black man, who had a white spouse, it would have been a totally different conversation. Because as a, black man, he would have been harassed by the police, he would have been discriminated at work, he would have experienced racism throughout his life. Racism that his white spouse would not be able to understand or identify.

So, did any of those situations happen in your marriage where your husband couldn’t understand your black experience?

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Ericka Augutis I would say initially when we’re in the newlywed stage, there were a few situations, super minor things, nothing hardcore or anything like that; but I could tell there was an inequality in the situation. When I talked about it, he would always ask me why I was so passionate? That was his word or way of saying, why are you so angry? It took me about three or four times of him saying that or using that phrase for me to get that he’s trying to ask me to express myself and make him understand. Why was something so small making you angry? So, once I understood what he was truly trying to say and ask me, we had a tough conversation on racism.

I explained to him the history black people and the challenges I’ve experienced throughout my career being a, black woman. I think in his career not everyone knows he’s married to a, black woman; so he would hear things people would say that were borderline racist and he would tell me he got it.

Myrna Young Not only did your husband not understand your black experience but as a, black woman, I didn’t understand my husband’s black experience either. My husband was a police officer and what upset him more than anything else was that he was going out there every night putting his life on the line and yet the white officers were racial against him. Not just my husband; but they were racist against all the black officers in the department. There was no equality even when they could die together. My husband would say we bleed the same blood, when we’re out there on the street and I am treated differently. I didn’t understand until recently when I understood the definition of a racist and the definition of racist policies. I had to go back to him and apologize for not understanding.

That’s basically what I would I wanted to you know. To find out from you how is the cohesiveness in an, interracial marriage, when one person has white privilege and the other person has to claw their way for everything?

So, the other question I have on here is and I think you mentioned it, people staring at you and I think you said that you felt protected because Kevin was so strong and you weren’t scared; but did it bother you psychologically?

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Ericka Augutis We’ve been married for so long, I would say it bothered me until we had our son. A small portion of me would wonder is it worth it? Is it worth it, why can’t we just go out to dinner and just have a nice dinner without any stares, comments or judgment? So I would say, yes it does bother you, it does affect you. You just have to find a way to deal with it and ensure that your relationship is solid enough where it’s worth it.

How does Interracial Marriage affect children?

Myrna Young How does your 14-year-old son, he’s old enough to understand what’ going on right now in the world, how does he relate to having a white dad?

Ericka Augutis Oh, that’s a good question so, he’s actually okay with it. He was in Boy Scouts from the age of I think five or six until 12 years old and I remember we were on a camping trip he may have been 7 or 8 at the time and he came into our tent and I could tell something was wrong. His face was a little flushed, so I said to him what’s wrong he said this kid asked him why is your dad white and your mom black?

I said, what did you say? He says I said because they love each other! So I think he’s okay with what’s going on right now. I did not know how to quite handle it when a child asked him like where is he from? If he was Spanish? I think that’s he’s at that stage where he’s getting that question and has to figure out how he’s going to handle it and answer it.

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Myrna Young It sounds like your, interracial marriage, is healthy. You guys don’t see color. Your, color of love, is blended. You love your kids, you show them love you don’t show them a difference and that’s definitely the way to go about it. So your, interracial marriage, experience has been a good one. As a, black woman, marrying outside of your race you still go through get the same racism and racist policies that our, black men, go through on a lesser scale.

That’s basically what I wanted to have a conversation so that we can shed a light on, interracial marriages. I mean we’re looking at black and white but, interracial marriage, can also be Spanish and black or even religion Muslim and Christian or anything that makes you different. It causes some controversy or cause some friction.

Ericka Augutis I don’t want the podcast listeners thinking I am making, interracial marriage, sound like it’s just perfect. Absolutely not, there are challenges don’t get me wrong. When we get invited to parties and there’s only a sprinkle of brown and black people in room, you have to figure out how to navigate. Do you want to be like over-the-top polished or just be yourself. When our families get together we both have to play roles. Every day you encounter racism. If you’re dealing with the public or you go in a public space you’re dealing with those types of situations where people are looking people are asking questions so it’s a conversation that you have more often than not. When you’re in a relationship like this, it’s something that you have to deal with if you want it to work out.

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Myrna Young I thank you for coming on and having a seat at this table I appreciate it. I hope our readers and listeners learned a few things one, interracial marriages, can work. They can be successful, you just have to have love and talk about it.

I want to remind you that if you like this content, please share with your friends, subscribe on iTunes rate and leave a review.

Additional Resources and mentions

Paradigm Shifts that can Heal Racism in America

https://blog.myhelps.us/find-your-soulmate-science-of-attraction/

https://voxeu.org/article/incarceration-unemployment-and-black-white-marriage-gap-us

June 29, 2020October 4, 2020

Are All Sociopaths Predators? The Jeffrey Epstein Story

Psychopaths have no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five Americans, are secretly, sociopaths and so we have Jeffrey Epstein.

There are some subjects that fascinate me and one of them are, sociopaths.

This fascination began when I read the book the “Psychopath Next Door.”

This story was about a man who selected this woman because of her vulnerability.

Sociopaths, always chose their victims.

He actually knocked on her door one day and began a friendship with her, then he got her to move away from her friends and family to this remote house in England.

Sociopaths, always want to get you away from your friends and family because friends and family strengthen us. Jeffrey Epstein, had his island in the Virgin Islands

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The definition of a Sociopath

This house in England was a beautiful large Victorian home. This man let’s call him Jim told this that he inherited this property and had her suggest that they modernize the house with her money.

Later in the story after she had escaped with her life, she found out that the property was rented, it was a con to get her money.

Sociopaths, are liars.

Then Jim started abusing her, verbally and emotionally, then physically. He told her if she ever left him he would kill her. Every time she attempted to leave, he would find her and punish her. Finally in desperation she walked for miles in the freezing cold one night to someone’s home and hid there.

Sociopaths, keep you in control with abuse. Remember the Robert R Kelly documentary? All the women said that he controlled them with physical abuse and punishment like starvation when they disobeyed his orders. Like going to the bathroom without getting permission

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Like I said, this story imprinted on my mind and since then I have been able to spot, sociopaths. Almost all of them are good looking and charming and they use this asset to reel in their victims.

Jeffrey Epstein, was also good looking and charming and was able to charm his way into getting jobs as a teacher and securities broker without having any of the necessary paperwork, because he dropped out of college.

Sociopaths vs Phychopaths

As a, sexual predator, they use this good looking charm to make women fall for them and after they get them emotionally tied, they switch from charming to becoming a monster.

Sociopaths, are also narcissistic. They can feel no emotions so they do unconscionable things without batting an eyelid.

Jeffrey Epstein, sexually abused hundreds of children for decades by luring them with $200. He knew that to a 14 year old $200 was a lot of money. If he ordered a call girl or prostitute the price for a massage and sex would be $2000 not $200; but then of course they wouldn’t turn him on. Only young girls turned him on.

What is the difference between, sociopaths vs psychopaths? Sociopaths and psychopaths are usually dishonest. In my story Jim swindled over a $100,000 from his victim to modernize a house that he didn’t own.

Jeffrey Epstein, was also a thief. He stole $46 M from one of his employers and was fired from another for stealing.

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So to answer the question are all, sociopaths, predators? I would say yes, Sociopaths, are always looking for their next victim. They may not be ALL in like, Jeffrey Epstein, and, Robert R Kelly; but they are, sexual predators, who charm women, men and children out of whatever their prize is. There are, sociopaths, scamming old people out of their last dollar and have no remorse that these seniors have no funds left to live out their lives

The Sociopath next door

We are accustomed to think of, sociopaths, as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a, sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes, sociopaths, more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths, are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths, learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.

The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more, sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a, sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath, is beckoning, do not join the game.

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What is the difference between a, Sociopath, and a Psychopath?

I don’t use either term, you’re speaking about an, antisocial personality disorder. Several people in our lifetime like Jeffrey Dahmer’s and other individuals like, Jeffrey Epstein, can be diagnosed with, antisocial personality disorder. The reason why I use that term, a psychological perspective and diagnostic criteria is attached to that term.

There are seven diagnostic criteria that we would use in order to diagnose someone exhibiting, sociopath, behavior:

One there’s a pervasive pattern as well as a disregard for and violation of the rights of others. This behavior starts occurring usually at the age of 15 years old.
Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest, as we saw with both, Jeffrey Epstein, and Robert R Kelly.
Deceitfulness very much so. Very easy for, sociopaths, to be deceitful. Jeffrey Epstein scammed a gentleman that he worked for out of millions of dollars. He taught in a school without the proper credentials. He said he went to certain schools and never attended the schools.
Repeated lying, some of these men even use aliases. They scam others for their own profit. Their personal profit and pleasure.
Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.
Irritability and aggressiveness as indicated by repeated fights or assaults
Reckless regard for safety of self and others. Consistent irresponsibility as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work, behavior or honor financial obligations.
Lack of remorse, indicated by being indifferent and to or rationalizing having hurt mistreated or stolen from another individual.

Are Sociopaths Narcissists?

Sociopaths are narcissists because they have no conscience, the barometer to tell you when you are doing wrong. I can imagine it may be a struggle for some, sociopaths, so that’s when they become, sexual predators. The sexual part of it with the, sexual predators, become hard to control. It becomes an addiction.

I was actually very surprised when, Jeffrey Epstein, did go to prison the first time for 18 months and he got himself out on a work permit, that he was still continued bringing women in to his office to have sex. The same behavior he was in prison for, he continued doing!

Ted Bundy did the same thing. They incarcerated him and he escaped twice and continued the same behavior. He continued the same exact behavior with those women, killing and murdering and having sexual encounters with them.

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That’s part of the impulsive label. I personally think that the reason, Jeffrey Epstein, did not stop or had no remorse is because he was wealthy. He didn’t care about these women, he just cared about himself and his sexual desires. They called him, sociopath narcissist, you can call it, antisocial personality disorder, all these different labels; but he knew what he was doing was wrong and he thought that he could buy his way out, and he did for quiet some time.

I was quite impressed that the first time, Jeffrey Epstein, was on trial, he had eight lawyers, a team of eight lawyers! I am sure that cost him millions; but Robert R Kelly was poor. I mean he couldn’t even afford a proper lawyer so he’s still in prison.

How are sexual predators created?

What is the, test for a, sociopath? Well that’s a good intro to the, sociopaths vs Psychopaths, and your definition of, anti-social Personality disorder. How does that lead them to become, sexual predators?

I’m not just talking about, sexual predators, but the , sociopath narcissistic, piece where they have no conscience don’t care about their victims, just into your fulfilling of their desires. You mentioned Jeffrey Dahmer and you talked about Ted Bundy. I’m assuming that you put them in this in this conversation, because they’ve also been diagnosed with, antisocial personality disorder, commonly called, sociopath.

These are mental health issues probably passed on from parents and grandparents. Some, sociopaths, develop after being abused as children. Robert R Kelly was raped as a child by his aunt.

How would the women look for, sociopaths, out to take advantage of them?

Firstly, they don’t want to trust. You want to be more cognizant of who you’re trusting.
We want to be aware of someone asking you about your life in terms of your financial abilities.
You want to be more cognizant to the fact of strange men visiting your home. Limit the frequency that they visit or stay in your home. Visit their dwelling to see where they live.
See what their lifestyle is. Talk to their family members don’t even allow them to come to your home for at least 90 days after you meet them.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

How a sexual predator chooses his victims.

The, sociopath, or the person with, antisocial personality disorder, always chooses their victims.

The documentary said that, Jeffrey Epstein, had the ability to read his victims and offer whatever they wanted.

I have worked with families who had children that have been sexually assaulted. In my first intake, my first conversation with the parents, I say to the parents that their child has the 50% likelihood of being sexually assaulted again because pedophiles tend to know. They can read them. They can either pick up on the fear or the vulnerability.

They choose their victims, Robert R Kelly looked for the women with weak minds. Jeffrey Epstein, looked for girls with no parental influence, were poor or needy.

Young females have to be vigilant because people will try to manipulate them and do things to them to get them to perform sex acts. Someone gave, Jeffrey Epstein, three twelve-year-old girls as a birthday present. You saw some of the images of some noted men today some powerful men including Prince Andrew who hung out with, Jeffrey Epstein, they partook of these young girls. Some of them had daughters of that same age. So mothers look out for your daughters.

I tell parents it’s okay to be quote-unquote a helicopter parent. It’s okay to not let your kids spend the night over someone’s house. It’s okay to be a hands-on face-to-face with your kid till they are at least 18 going into college.

If you value your child’s life and you do not want your child to be fractured into pieces as a result of this trauma from a, psychopath, be vigilant. I work in the education field right now and there are people that will become educators or social workers on campuses or they’ll work with the children because they know they have access to be with them alone with children.

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Dr Tra Ahia you mentioned that you have some classes that speak to this topic for women.

You are all invited to join my Facebook group called Life Coach, and of course please subscribe, rate and review this podcast on iTunes.

Additional Resources

June 23, 2020November 8, 2020

How to Use CBD Oil as a Wellness Product

CBD, In the form of oils, pills, pills, balms, are wellness products. Federal advisers voted to recommend approval of the first prescription cannabidiol, CBD, medicine — to treat rare and severe forms of epilepsy.

The reason, CBD, works is our bodies have what is called an endocannabinoid system, so this can basically be viewed as a lock-and-key system where we have receptors in our bodies that then attach to external receptors.

This system is responsible for contributing to our overall sleep and wake cycle, our mood, our appetite and can really be viewed as an important component in reaching homeostasis, of reaching a balance point in our body. CBD, from the cannabidiol plant helps us reach homeostasis.

Listen to the full interview here:

In this episode, I interview Joseph Sheeley is the Managing Partner of Cured Nutrition. on the Transform your Mind radio and podcast Joseph says he left Corporate Aerospace to build his own space from Lockheed Martin design engineer to Managing Partner of premium, CBD oil, CBD pills, and hemp products.

Joseph – I looked at, cannabis, and, CBD pills, and I noticed that when I used it in a very intentional way, I saw the medicinal benefits. I saw myself being able to calm down, to be able to work on my anxiety. I also saw myself be able to be a lot more creative and when I started to discover that those were the truths underlying, marijuana.

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Diriving, CBD, from, Cannabis

As the years progressed I started diving a lot more into what, cannabis, really was and what all the cannabinoids within the plant were and that’s where, CBD, CBD Oil, and CBD pills, became a focus. I said okay well there’s this cannabinoid and we’ll dive deep into this; but this cannabinoid is non intoxicating unlike THC and has a wide array of medicinal benefits.

I think that’s a very important statement for right now and for the, cannabis, industry and the path that I ended up taking.

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What is the difference between, CBD Oil, and, marijuana?

As a respected health and fitness professional, I started to use, cannabis, to help me recover. It also helped me sleep, it helps me calm down. I utilized my relationships with other health professionals and put the right information out there into this world, to educate from the standpoint of “Hey I am someone focused on health and fitness and general wellness and I use cannabinoids or, cannabis.”

That is how Cured Nutrition started. Ordering up, CBD, in the form of, CBD oils, and, CBD pills, and different extracts and creating products at my house. Sending them to community members and saying Hey give this a try. Tell me if it helps you sleep, or calm down. I had hand after hand raised. This gave me the data I needed to expand manufacture of, CBD pills, CBD oil, and other, CBD, products.

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Starting a, Cannabis, Business

Not to say it hasn’t been a difficult process because when we speak about, cannabis, and we speak about, medical, marijuana, it’s not the typical route of starting a business getting a bank account. Certain things that would be viewed as very easy when starting a business is different when you’re in the, cannabis, space. So it’s been quite the roller coaster; but I’m extremely thankful for all the experiences we’ve had as a company.

Myrna – I know, I live in Fort Myers, Florida and in the last election we voted on medical, Marijuana, for whatever reasons it didn’t get enough votes; but sooner or later it will pass. Medical, marijuana, is already legal in some other places like you said Colorado.

What is, CBD, CBD oil, and CBD pills?

CBD, is a cannabinoid and, CBD, stands for is cannabidiol. Cannabidiol is one cannabinoid out of over now eighty cannabinoids that have been identified in the, cannabis, plant. Other widely known cannabinoid is tetrahydrocannabinol which is THC.

THC is the cannabinoid that is actually intoxicating; but now when we take a step back and we say okay so there’s over 80 cannabinoids in the, cannabis, plant. What we are learning now is we’ve recognized that all of these cannabinoids have therapeutic benefits and when you combine them certain cannabinoids have certain effects for certain areas.

Now, CBD, CBD oil, and CBD pills, specifically has become so popular because you can actually get, CBD, without any THC in the product.

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There’s a difference between a THC free product and a product that we call full-spectrum. If the product is called full-spectrum, it means it has all of those cannabinoids that I just discussed found in the product; but at very low concentrations.

Why, CBD, is being mass produced

The reason that, CBD, CBD oil, and, CBD pills, are being mass-produced right now is because the abundance of that cannabinoid. CBD, in the, cannabis, plant is really high and it’s a lot easier to extract from the plant than some of the other minor cannabinoids that would live in that other 80 plus cannabinoids.

If we said, cannabis, and I was looking at a tree a tree diagram, a top-down diagram. I would say, cannabis, live at the top and then below, cannabis, which is where we identify where which plant we’re extracting it from would live hemp and, marijuana, hemp and, marijuana, are both of the genus, cannabis.

They are both, cannabis, but the way that they are differentiated is that the hemp plant is identified as having less than 0.3 percent THC; so it’s very low in what we would call the intoxicating cannabinoid.

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What is Hemp, CBD?

Hemp, CBD, (Cannabis sativa L.) is a plant grown in the northern hemisphere, best known for its thin, somewhat spiky, green leaves (usually around seven that fan out around the end of each stem). It takes approximately three to four months to mature before harvesting. And it is a dioecious plant, which is a decidedly nerdy way of saying that there are both male and female hemp plants. And they need each other for the female to set seed.

Hemp, CBD, has a wide variety of uses. You can use the whole plant, including the fiber (from its stems), protein (from its seeds), and oils and smokable portions (from the leaves and flowers). Smokable hemp is a new addition to the, CBD, industry, as the leaves and flowers of the hemp plant are rich in non-psychoactive cannabidiol, a compound which has many therapeutic properties.

Hemp, CBD, seeds are small with a slightly sweet and nutty flavor and are technically nuts. While the terms are often used interchangeably, hemp “hearts” are hemp seeds that have had their shell removed, so they’re easier to consume. Hemp hearts are round and have a whitish-green hue with a black center.

Hemp, CBD, is environmentally friendly, too. It grows in a variety of climates and types of soil, which is possible because of its hardiness. Hemp is resistant to drought and damage from UV rays, as well as most pests. It’s happy to grow tightly packed together, which allows it to shade out and out compete most weeds.

That means there’s no point in using chemical pesticides on most hemp crops. It’s also a natural substitute for cotton and wood fiber, both of which take a heavy toll on the environment. Hemp has a low lignin content, which allows it to be pulped using fewer chemicals than wood. And a fully mature hemp plant may contain half of its dry weight in seed, which is an impressively high yield.

Hemp, CBD, as we as we know and have can see has actually been used for a wide array of purposes whether it be, clothing, biofuel actually food, we’ve all seen hemp seed oil or hemp hearts. It has so many different purposes but now we’ve actually bred hemp to have high concentrations of, CBD oil, and very low concentrations of THC.

The hemp plant looks very similar to the, medical marijuana, plant to be able to extract the cannabinoids from it, so then when we look at a, cannabis, plant we would see a plant that’s shorter and has more flowers which are considered the buds. That’s where all the cannabinoids are coming from.

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Is, Marijuana, in, CBD?

When you look at the, marijuana, plant, it is basically identified by having greater than 0.3% THC.

It is true that we are extracting, CBD, and, CBD oil, from the, marijuana, Hemp plant and other cannabinoids from the, marijuana, plant. That’s what’s going into edibles that’s what’s going in topical, that’s what’s potentially going into vaporizers but it’s regulated and can only be sold in a medical dispensary.

Are, CBD Pills, and, CBD Oils, a Wellness Product? What are the benefits?

Absolutely, CBD, CBD pills, and, CBD oils, are all wellness products. The reason being is our bodies as humans, we have what is called an endocannabinoid system, so this can basically be viewed as a lock-and-key system where we have receptors in our bodies that then attach to external receptors.

This system is actually responsible for contributing to our overall sleep and wake cycle, our mood, our appetite and can really be viewed as an important component in reaching homeostasis, of reaching a balance point in our body. From a general health and wellness perspective, a lot of people are starting to be see cannabinoids as a wellness product. CBD pills, specifically are what would be called an adaptogen.

It can be used to reduce the body’s stress response and come back to a place of calm.

CBD oil, has properties that are similar to anti-inflammatories, so that being the case anything that you really can talk about that might be caused from Inflammation.

If anyone needs more information check out www.CBD.org

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How can we incorporate, CBD, into a healthy lifestyle?

We can incorporate, CBD pills, into our lifestyle and take them like we take our vitamins every day. The most convenient way is to use what we call a sublingual dropper or a tincture. It comes in a bottle that has a dropper, you shake it up you take the dropper and fill it up with, CBD oil, you put it underneath your tongue and then you hold it for 30 to 60 seconds. Within 10 to 15 maybe 20 minutes, you will feel the calming effects.

But now an even more concentrated way would be to use it in a capsule form called, CBD pills. If you take, CBD, in a capsule, CBD pills, you can actually get a lot higher concentration. It goes through your stomach, it’s processed and is delivered directly into your bloodstream.

We also have topical. You also have to ensure when you’re using a topical that it has the correct ingredients to also help with the absorption, so I would say always start with a tincture, then progress to the capsule, CBD pills, and then use the topical for spot treatment.

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Author Betty Tucker shares the story of her life in her memoir, Don’t Worry About The Mule Going Blind.

Betty Tucker came of age in Belle Glade, Florida, infamous for its poverty and violence. Her childhood was one of de-bili-ta-ting poverty, borne of racism, exploitive migrant labor, multiple rapes and other abuse, and chronic illness among her family and acquaintances … the list is long and bitter.

Betty moved to California, earned her College degree, and raised a family. Then, in 1997, she began a long and eventually successful search for the twin girls she had given up for adoption thirty years earlier.

Don’t worry about the Mule going Blind is a book about Fear, insecurity, sexual abuse, and neglect: This memoir will look beyond the description of these difficulties in the author’s life to examine how she acquired the tools she needed to take more control of her life, and what decisions impacted her choices.

Pick up your copy today! Don’t worry about the Mule going Blind now available on Amazon.

Joseph – At Cured Nutrition we have a progressive line of products which we call our super supplements which include other botanicals and actually functional mushrooms in them as well. So our products have the cannabinoids; but we’ve taken the cannabinoids and we’ve approached our holistic or our clinical herbalist in Boulder Colorado and she ended up developing some products for us that are specifically for focus.

We have one, CBD pills, that is releasing soon for gut health and then one specifically called, Zen for sleep. Within those products what we’ve done is we’ve taken not only the cannabinoids, but other botanicals that have come from traditional Chinese medicine and also included functional mushrooms which have amazing benefits.

I’ve created a coupon code for your listeners 20% off and that’s “transform” If you use that code at checkout you get 20% off.

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Myrna – I just want to remind you all that you to join at my private Facebook group Called, Life Coach, and there you will also get encouragement to transform your life every day on different subjects and topics.

Also if you have not done so already, please subscribe, rate and review The Transform Your Mind podcast on iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Additional Resources

Why a Healthy Lifestyle is Important to Fight COVID-19

Hemp seeds are a nutritional dark horse in the world of seeds. While they’re packed with healthy nutrients and can contribute flavor and texture to dozens of different dishes, most people don’t view them as a pantry staple. This article aims to change that!

June 16, 2020June 16, 2020

Paradigm Shifts that can Heal Racism in America

Dr Jeff Gusky shares paradigm shifts that must occur, for America to heal after the, COVID 19, pandemic and Systemic, racism. Paradigm shifts are vital to our safety and recovery in America. These paradigm shifts could restore humanity and save America from destruction.

Dr. Jeff Gusky is a board-certified emergency physician now in the front lines against COVID 19. Dr. Gusky is also a renowned National Geographic photographer and Explorer his discoveries and photographs are now featured at the Smithsonian National Museum of African American history and culture. He found a secret hidden for over a hundred years that should change the way we see, racism, in America.

We open our eyes to the danger of the indoor air we breathe and, COVID 19

The air we breathe is an invisible killer. The, COVID 19, coronavirus spreads like wildfire because of the dryness of indoor air. We spend 90% of our lives indoors and the right humidity saves lives.

There is a simple plan that makes invisible danger, visible and that is a device called a Hygrometer. Indoor humidity is between 50 and 60 percent, so I believe that this is the most important public health measure.

Americans can do right now because it helps to prevent small viral outbreaks from becoming massive viral bombs. Property humidity will save lives and will get America back to work sooner and safer.

It is almost like a bulletproof vest for our respiratory tract. We have mucous membranes that goes from the tip of our nose and our mouth all the way deep into our lungs and what lines our mucous membranes; but mucus when the air is dry is impaired. It dries out and cracks and pathogens like, COVID 19, can get into our bodies.

I like to say, It’s the weather stupid! Because it turns out that outdoor weather affects indoor air. We know about humidity because we get the relative humidity from the weather forecast; but that has nothing to do with indoor humidity. It turns out that indoor air is bone-dry and that is why the, COVID 19, virus spreads in nursing homes.

The tragedy of nursing homes is also the problem with inner cities. The inner city poor are also affected. In both situations you have high population density indoors and dangerously dry indoor air acts like an accelerant. You should go out and you buy on Amazon or Walmart a digital hygrometer. They only sell for like $12 or $14. a digital hygrometer is a little device that gives you a real-time readout of your indoor humidity.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Paradigm shift – Addressing, Systemic Racism, in America.

This podcast interview was recorded before the murder of, George Floyd, by a Police Officer in Minnesota. Dr Gusky said in this interview long before the entire world got to see a black man’s life ebb away while the Police Officer just continued to kneel on his neck for close to 9 mins, killing him. So it is surreal that a White man said that we need a paradigm shift to save America from self-destruction because of, racism. Dr Gusky said when we belief in each other, healing race is possible.

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The paradigm shifts that must occur in America to remove, systemic racism, are the following:

We must remove racist ideas. A racist idea is an idea that one race is superior to another. It is removing White supremacy. All races are created equal in the eyes of God.
Systemic racism, reveals itself when White people feel that they are superior and that, Black Lives Don’t Matter. Black Lives Matter, Brown Lives Matter, All Lives Matter
We must remove racist policies. A racist policy is any policy that leads to inequality and Systemic injustice, Like the police officers profiling Black men or employers not hiring Blacks because they feel like they are lazy. Just one of the stereotypes that contributes to, racism in America.
We must become Anti-Racists and not just call ourselves, non-racist. A non-racist does nothing. A racist has racist ideas or racist policies by action or thought. A racist idea is is any idea that promotes that one group is better than another group it promotes racial hierarchy so the opposite of that is that is not non-racist but Anti-Racist. There is no middle ground.

Racism in America - How to become an Anti-racist — Racism in America – How to become an Anti-racist

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As an explorer, Dr Gusky found a secret hidden for over a hundred years that should change the way we see, racism in America. It’s a dignity story about African-American heroes who faced down a frightening infectious disease pandemic during the Spanish-American war and won their courage back. They were a shining example of how we can win against the, COVID 19, pandemic we are facing now. In crisis we should see differently, we shouldn’t see race, because the virus doesn’t see race. It kills Black, White, Yellow and Brown alike. So we should see A human race. Two African American patriots who lived more than a century ago, show us what it means to be an American. When we face extreme danger together, and trust in each other, it is the glue that gets us through.

Dr Gusky found a hidden world from world war 1, that was basically unknown to the outside world. These were underground cities, hidden beneath the former trenches with tens of thousands of soldiers. One of these places turned out to be the only trace of an African American combat unit. These discoveries are now featured in the exhibit at the SNM of African American history and culture near the White House. The exhibit will probably be there through September.

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We got, racism, wrong in America and we now have a second chance to get, racism, right. This black unit was the only all African-American unit in the US military with all black soldiers and all black officers and they fought been together for America for 49 years. The story shows African American political power and self-determination that had existed long before Dr. Martin Luther King was born.

The sad news is that we are still fighting for racial equality in this nation. It has been 40 years since the march at Selma over the bridge and we as Black people are still marching over bridges, protesting and the White supremacist still don’t see us as human. We have been saying, black Lives Matter, for decades. We have shouted it from the pews in churches, we have shouted it in marches, we have shouted it in congress and they turn a deaf ear. Now since, George Floyd’s death, they are finally listening.

Racism, it’s not an intellectual thing it’s a visceral thing. The Civil War was the beginning of a long difficult journey to demand the end of, racism in America, but America got stuck along the way because it benefited them financially to keep their, knees on our neck!

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Paradigm shift – Radical Transparency in the media.

A new approach to protecting free speech while protecting society from human predators who manipulate media to incite fear and rage during times like now, when people are vulnerable angry and afraid. I’ve witnessed the dangers of mass media without transparency in a very personal way. I was the first fine art photographer to go behind the former Iron Curtain and documented the hidden world of the Holocaust after the fall of the Berlin Wall. I’ve walked the ground remote corners of Europe and the former Soviet Union where millions were murdered in modern times because no one stopped a few bad people from turning civilized nations into weapons of mass destruction using media. So mass media without transparency gives people with a pathological essence of conscience, like the Harvey Weinstein’s of the world. Unimaginable power to do evil and they all use the same tired old formula of myths amplified by media to incite rage and crowds for power.

Predators love media, because it gives them enormous power over the rest of us while concealing who they really are and what they’re really up to.

The paradigm shift only works when transparency doesn’t work because when media has no checks and balances, we have almost no way of knowing when it’s fake news.

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Are You Ready To Unleash Your Inner Voice?

Then join coach Amikaeyla Gaston, in her 3 hour masterclass to help you make your next move. You will discover how to use self-expression, breathing, reflecting and meditations to help you get in touch with your inner voice, that will propel you to make your Next Big Move in any endeavor in your life. Go to VoiceYourVision.NET to join Ami from May 28th LIVE on demand on Zoom! enroll in Voice Your Vision today at 50% off the retail price.

Dr Gusky is a professional speaker I’m represented by National Geographic speaker’s bureau. If anyone wants to have me come speak or even online they can contact National Geographic speaker’s bureau or online at www.JeffGusky.com. and if they can if the are in Washington before September please stop by the Smithsonian exhibit.

If you have not done so yet, please rate, review and subscribe to the Transform Your Mind podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcast. I also want to invite you to join my private Facebook group called Life Coach.

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Additional Resources

8 Minutes and 46 Seconds: How George Floyd Was Killed in Police Custody

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

Coronavirus: How to Protect Yourself

June 3, 2020November 3, 2020

Celebrating Black Love Introducing BlackdateBox

Love, is a spirit and if you speak to love it will return back to you when you call it. Black Love, is no different; but we need to change the narrative because, Black women, deserve, love.

I think that, love, is waiting for everyone to be silent, so that, love, can speak for itself.

Today we are celebrating, black love. My guest is Lisa Kimberle author of “500 ways to celebrate black love”

Here is the synopsis of 500 ways to celebrate, Black Love

500 ways to celebrate, black love, provides an accelerating approach to, black love, relationships. Love coach and enthusiast Lisa Kimberle gets candid through personal reflection in hope of inspiring real, black love, stories. This is her, love story, a story filled with passion and discovery that led her to a wonderful fulfilling, black love, relationship. This is a, black love book, and it introduces the, blackdatebox, a subscription box created with love for all relationship stages. Black love box, asks the question, what is, black love? It celebrates, black love, and highlights black owned businesses and retailers.

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Why did you write the book “500 ways to black to celebrate, black love?”

For me it all started from my personal journey. What I was personally going through in my, love story. I was in a relationship and everything seemed right, we were very compatible. It seemed like it was love at first sight, and then when we further got in the relationship, we discovered that we just were not meant to be together. He was not a bad person or anything like that; but it was for someone else, it wasn’t for me and we were both totally fine ending the relationship. It was a three year journey that I spent discovering, what is black love.

I started researching family history and I discovered things and thoughts that existed within the family passed down from my grandparents and from my parents. One of the interesting things that I discovered about my grandmother was that for whatever reason my grandmother hated relationships. I kind of discovered during the journey about, black love, and what to do to break your patterns, because these patterns are cyclical and runs for generations.

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Then join coach Amikaeyla Gaston, in her 3 hour masterclass to help you make your next move. You will discover how to use self-expression, breathing, reflecting and meditations to help you get in touch with your inner voice, that will propel you to make your Next Big Move in any endeavor in your life. Go to VoiceYourVision.NET to join Ami from May 28th LIVE on demand on Zoom! Enroll in Voice Your Vision today at 50% off the retail price.

I don’t know your, love story; but I know as a, Life coach, I know women who cycle from abusive relationships into new abusive relationships. That’s their pattern, and they keep going into those relationships. They don’t look for them, but it just happens. So what you’re saying is exactly what happens, we all attract the same kind of man and it’s something unconsciously that we’re doing. You traced your pattern and you found that it came from parental influence.

The second thing I discovered when I began researching, black love, is that the internet portrayed, black love relationships, as nonexistent. I bumped into articles such as the one in Marie Claire magazine titled “Marriages are for white people” and then when I read the article it goes further on to explain how, marriage, isn’t for, black women!

So now I am dealing with the generational belief passed down from my parents and grandparents, then it’s the societal belief that, black women, does not deserve, love.

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Is, Black Love, different than White Love?

No, Love, is a spirit and it does not define color. But as, black women, we have some challenges to find fulfilling black, love story. After my 3 year relationship went sour, I really wanted to help, black women, find that perfect, love story. Since I couldn’t find any, black love books, I decided to write one.

I believe that, love, is a spirit and if you speak to, love, it will return back to you when you call it.

I think that, love, is waiting for everyone to be silent, so that love can speak for itself.

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Beauty is not just a superficial thing. It’s not just a matter of looking good.
Beauty it’s all about how you present yourself. It’s about being brave, being strong and having an attitude. It is about daring to trust yourself, overcoming your fears and going further.
Beauty lies within us all, allowing us to bloom in the dark and overcome any obstacle.
Just like the lotus flower.
Visit our store and discover all we have specially prepared for you. We have the most complete store where you can find high quality products at the best prices.
Our website is , www.lotusflowerbeautysupply.com, dare to show the world your inner and outer beauty. Follow us in Instagram @lotusflowerbeautysupply,

What are 3 of the 500 ways to celebrate. Black love?

Wholeness before pleasure.
Becoming best version of ourselves. That’s discovering who you are.
Becoming the best version of us as a black race.

In a Unhealthy Relationship? Should you Stay or Go.

What is Quantum Water Leaping and how does this celebrate, Black Love?

Black Couples, Quantum Water Leaping is utilizing water as a representation of life. I believe that water is life and so if it’s used as a representation to cleanse out the old, love story, whatever that is, whether it’s past relationships, marriages, things that you haven’t forgiven yourself for concerning past relationships or anything thing that can hinder your, black love relationship. Black couples, are using that water and jumping into like a new, love story. It’s a quantum leap.

Black Couples, Quantum Jumping is all about strengthening, black love relationships, because it is very true that relationships breakup because we’re carrying baggage. Leaping from one to the next is a perfect way to drop off your baggage!

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Author Betty Tucker shares the story of her life in her memoir, Don’t Worry About The Mule Going Blind. Betty Tucker came of age in Belle Glade, Florida, infamous for its poverty and violence. Her childhood was one of de-bili-ta-ting poverty, borne of racism, exploitive migrant labor, multiple rapes and other abuse, and chronic illness among her family and acquaintances … the list is long and bitter. Betty moved to California, earned her College degree, and raised a family. Then, in 1997, she began a long and eventually successful search for the twin girls she had given up for adoption thirty years earlier.
Don’t worry about the Mule going Blind is a book about Fear, insecurity, sexual abuse, and neglect: This memoir will look beyond the description of these difficulties in the author’s life to examine how she acquired the tools she needed to take more control of her life, and what decisions impacted her choices. Pick up your copy today! Don’t worry about the Mule going Blind now available on Amazon.

Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

How does the, Blackdatebox, Help, Black Love Relationships?

The, blackdatebox, or, black love box, is a quarterly subscription, love box, that was created to celebrate, black love. We celebrate, black love, depending on the season such as Christmas and other holidays or occasions that, black couples, wants to celebrate. For example there is a quarantine, love box.

It has most of what you need to create a date at home and while you’re on the stay at home experience, you will kindle a deeper level of communication, a deeper level of, love.

The, black love Box, comes with the rose petals and the candles and whatever you need to create a romantic date.

We are coming into summer so the summer celebration, blackdatebox, 2020 has fireworks inside the box. There’s two different boxes for the summer celebration because some, black couples, may want to have a daytime date, so I have a brunch box. I work with a chef she lives in Alabama her name is Erika Barrett she makes these excellent pancakes, so she’s one of the African American business that are featured in the box. The, blackdatebox, comes with decorations for the ambiance and all the, black couples, have to do is add the feelings of, love!

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I also have a product that is amazing. It’s a game with miracle berries and they’re actually from Ghana and some people have taste tripping parties.

You take these berries and they’re intact in form and then they dissolve on your tongue. You have to let it dissolve for about 10 minutes, once it dissolves and you suck a lemon or a lime it is going to turn everything that you’re tasting, sweet. It’s an amazing experience.

When somebody goes out and purchases your book, what do you hope that they will come away with?

I’m hoping that my readers get inspired and more empowered. I’m hoping that it will inspire them to their own self journey to finding, black love, and discoveries of their family history that could be blocking, black love. I want to change the narrative of, black love, and society. I want my book to be a form of mental jogging.

How do you advise women to set their intention for, black love?

Whenever you have good intentions for being in a relationship then you will manifest those intentions. One way to set intentions is with daily affirmations. Some of these affirmations are:

I am loved
I am black and lovable
I am black excellence

If your intentions are that you want, love, because of loneliness, change your intentions. Your purpose for wanting a relationship must be because you have something to give, not want. If you set your intentions in a good way then you’ll receive good results. Call, love, and it will come!

I pray that everyone every listener, every reader of my book that this will be the best year of, Black love, or any other love for them. I just want to pray that, Love, Finds them from the north, the South, the east and the West. I just want to pray that they receive total healing.

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/find-your-soulmate-science-of-attraction/

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-single-women-find-love/

May 26, 2020May 26, 2020

Life Leadership & Success

Scott Miller, author and EVP at Franklin Covey, shares tips on, leadership, relationships, efficiency, vs, effectiveness, and how to straight talk to your employees as well as family and friends.

Scott serves as the executive vice president of thought leadership at Franklin Covey, is the host of multiple podcasts including Franklin Covey’s on leadership and, Great Life Great Career Podcast. He’s also Wall Street Journal’s bestselling author of “Everyone Deserves a Great Manager, the Six Critical Practices for Leading a Team”

What has the book ” 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” taught you about, Leadership?

I have had the privilege of being in the Franklin Covey company which of course was co-founded by Dr. Stephen R. Covey who wrote the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” that, leadership, book has sold 40 million copies.

I wrote “Management Mess to, Leadership, success” because quite frankly my life’s been a mess. Not because you are an executive or an author or parent means you are a success automatically. I wrote the book because I wanted to share with readers that owning your mess is really the first step to becoming a success.

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Are You Ready To Unleash Your Inner Voice? Then join coach Amikaeyla Gaston, in her 3 hour masterclass to help you make your next move. You will discover how to use self-expression, breathing, reflecting and meditations to help you get in touch with your inner voice, that will propel you to make your Next Big Move in any endeavor in your life. Go to VoiceYourVision.NET to join Ami from May 28th LIVE on demand on Zoom! Enroll in Voice Your Vision today at 50% off the retail price and unleash your inner voice.

Recognizing the difference between having an, effectiveness, mindset and an, efficient, mindset. One of the biggest messes that I’ve had to conquer was recognizing when am I in an, effectiveness, mindset and when I should be in an efficient, mindset; because they’re not the same factors.

I’m a very, efficient, person, I get up at 4:00 am in the morning, I write my column, I write a couple chapters on the books that I’m writing. On a Saturday morning I would get up at five o’clock, go to Home Depot and buy flowers and have them planted by six o’clock. Be at the car wash by 7 am, be at tennis by nine. I mean I live a very productive and, efficient, life. That’s helped me in a lot of areas of my life; but it hasn’t helped me in my relationships, because as Dr. Covey said

With people, slow is fast, and fast is slow.

We cannot be, efficient, in our relationships.

So one of the biggest areas of growth for me was with people. I had to learn to slow down. When someone comes into my office, I take off my glasses, close my laptop and turn off my phone. I have to really understand when and where can I be, efficient, and when and where should I practice, effectiveness. If you want to develop more trustworthy, long-lasting, mutually beneficial, relationships, be more cognizant of when you’re being, efficient, and fast and when you’re being, effective, and slow.

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I think it’s good advice to, leaders, to be a little more, self-aware, and introspective. Is your need to be, efficient, in some areas of your life negatively impacting other areas in your life?

Use Communication to become, Self-Aware.

It is all about, communication, because when you are being, efficient, you’re probably not being, effective, because it all depends on your audience.

Self-awareness, I use this term a lot. Everybody could benefit from being more, self-aware.

Ask yourself – what’s it like to be your friend?
What’s it like to be your husband?
What’s it like to be your neighbor

I’d encourage all of your readers, if you really want to improve your relationships, if you want to improve your influence expand your credibility and become more trustworthy or likable, go ask the people in your life what’s it like to be in a meeting with you.

What is it like to be on a carpool with you
What’s it like to go on vacation with you
What’s it like to be at dinner with you
What’s it like to be married to you.

When someone gives you that feedback, don’t refute it don’t brush it away.

Don’t blame anybody else, just listen.

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Beauty it’s all about how you present yourself. It’s about being brave, being strong and having an attitude. It is about daring to trust yourself, overcoming your fears and going further.
Beauty lies within us all, allowing us to bloom in the dark and overcome any obstacle.
Just like the lotus flower.
Visit our store and discover all we have specially prepared for you.
www.lotusflowerbeautysupply.com, is the most complete store where you can find high quality products at the best prices.dare to show the world your inner and outer beauty. follow us in Instagram @lotusflowerbeautysupply,

What, communication skills, are important to, leadership, success

Let’s talk about, leadership, and then this broaden it to a straight talk between peers. Talking straight is really a sign of respect to everyone in your life. We’ve all met people who say they call it as they see it, that is actually quite selfish. Talking straight is when you are able to base what you’re saying in fact. When you talk straight with someone, you don’t postulate, you don’t pontificate, you don’t technically tell the truth, but you kind of leave the wrong impression. No you just you say straight up what is true.

As a life coach, I would use something called the, sandwich technique, which means that you package that talk with something positive like a sandwich.

I would not advocate the, sandwich feedback method. I think it’s generally disingenuous. I think the better technique is to first declare your intent, because the moment there is suspicion about your intent, everything you do becomes tainted. So be very clear on what your intent is. Say what is uncomfortable straight, no chaser without any bogus compliments and no hidden agenda.

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How to become a, Leader, people will follow

The first step to becoming a great, leader is to check their own paradigms, our own belief systems. We all have deeply entrenched, deeply enculturated paradigms that were built into us by our grandparents, our parents, our aunties, our first grade teachers, our neighbors, our relatives and it is how we see the world. How we see ourselves and everyone should be emotionally nimble, or emotionally flexible enough to challenge your belief systems.

Here’s a great example:

I am 51 years old, I’m Caucasian. I live in Salt Lake City, but I lived in the 70s in Central Florida, Orlando Florida. I am from an upper middle-class white family, one of two children. My mother was a full-time stay-at-home mom, my father had a fairly traditional corporate job. It was a stable family in the seventies and I was raised to believe that, doctors, police officers, and Catholic priests were always right and always told the truth!

Can you imagine for a moment that had I been eight year-old young boy and an altar server and that a Catholic priest who was perhaps a pedophile told me to do some inappropriate things?

I think the first step in becoming a, leader, of your own self, your own life is to challenge your own paradigms. You don’t see every situation, every argument, every interaction, every meeting, every conflict, every win, every lost accurately; you always have a little bit of a judgment on it.

We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are.

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How does “carrying your own weather” help with, Leadership, Success.

Proactive, leaders, carry their own weather, reactive people give over there weather. They metaphorically give their power to other people. Proactive people choose their response to any situation, any crisis, any reaction based on values, not based on other people.

Here’s a great example of, carrying your own weather.

My son and I were in Miami and we came upon this intersection in a downtown shopping district where there had just been an accident. There was no injuries, very small accident. There was this young woman, I’m gonna say in her 20s who was having this outrageous, hysterical, verbal meltdown. I mean she was out of control. This person was not, carrying her own weather, she was giving up control of her emotions to that situation. Being out of control was serving her no benefit. The point of that story was people who are proactive, they’re calm, they’re rational, they don’t let other things influence their own responses.

Leaders who “carry their own weather” move from mess to success. They put space between stimulus and response. When someone says something to them that pisses them off, they don’t immediately lash out to them.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

What sets your book apart from other, leadership, and management books

I wrote this book was with very clear intention, I’ve been privileged to have my entire career dedicated in the, leadership, development industry. I worked for years with the Disney Company and now almost 25 years with the Franklin Covey company and learned a few things; but I have always struggled with a lot of these management and, leadership, practices. Like you I host a podcast and interview guests every week, I read close to 70 books a year and I wanted to write a different kind of, leadership, book because most, leadership, books are written by fortune 500 CEOs or academic professors and they’re kind of hard to relate to. I wanted to write a really real raw and relatable book where regardless of what role I was in, anybody in their career and their personal life could relate to a lot of my own struggles.

So the book is kind of uproariously funny, it’s very raw and blush. I shared a lot of my own messes in the book not because I was trying to be funny gratuitously, I just wanted to validate everybody that, leadership, is hard whether you are a formal or informal leader. It didn’t come naturally to me and so the challenge is based on Franklin Covey’s research, that if you can get your arms around these 30 principles, you will transform your influence in your relationships and your career. It’s kind of aligned with a month, 30 practices in 30 days. You can take one every day get your groove on.

I was privileged to co-author a second book called “Everyone Deserves a Great Manager, the Six Critical practices for leading a team,” that’s also on Amazon.

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Connect with Scott Miller at Franklin Covey on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.

I want invite you guys to join my private Facebook group called, life coach, there you can get daily tips and strategies to live in your best life now not only from me but from all the members of the group. Also please subscribe to the podcast and leave an iTunes review.

Additional Resources

https://www.inc.com/amy-morin/how-to-control-your-emotions-so-your-emotions-dont-control-you.html

Understanding Personalities: Which Archetype Drives You

May 7, 2020

Your Talent is Already in your Hand

Use, what’s in your hand, God pre-loaded you with the, talent, you need to be successful in life. You were created with a purpose; God gave you the skills and, talent, you need to complete your task. Stop waiting for the right time.

What’s in your Hand?

Moses was just like most of us. We don’t believe that we have, talent, or that we were born with anything God can use to build his kingdom. But God interrupted this lie. Moses was hitting 80 years old, he was ready to retire. You know, settle down with the grand kids and rock on his front porch.

But there’s a bush that is burning and Moses’ life was about to get flipped upside down. God called to Moses from the burning bush and asked Moses to go to the Pharaoh and tell him to let my people go.

Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The Lord did not appear to you’?” Then the Lord said to him, “What’s in your hand,?” “A staff,” he replied. The Lord said, “Throw it on the ground.” Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it.” [Ex. 4:1-3]

In Exodus chapter 3 , Moses had many doubts and many fears. He came up with tons of excuses. But God asked Moses, what’s in his hand.

We know Moses had a shepherd’s staff in his hand, a dead thing. But then he laid it down and it became a snake. A dead thing became a living thing, and a dangerous thing at that. So dangerous in fact that Moses actually runs from it! God says to pick it again and it becomes a dead thing again.

Before we discover what God has created us for, we must be willing to lay down our income, lay down our status, lay down our perfection, lay down our finances, Don’t eat your seed; lay down our children, lay down our relationships, lay down our self-pursuits to discover our God given, talent.

Just like God told Moses, I believe God is telling people today to lay it down. Will you not lay down your identity? Many of us are defined by our job, our education, our financial status, or marital status. But Galatians 2:19 reminds us that, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” Yes, it’s no longer about me, but rather Christ who lives in me. God is saying, Let me be the one to give you identity and a meaningful life.

Stop asking when you are going to get your gifts or, talent, or calling and see, what’s in your hand.

But there’s a bush that is burning and Moses’ life is about to get flipped upside down.

Before we find our passion and calling, we must be willing to lay down our influence and recognition.

The recognition of man pales in comparison to what God has called us to. God is asking if you’re willing to lay down our dead things so he can make them come to life. Many people are living lives that are dead; it feels comfortable and safe and controllable.

But when God gives us a vision for our life like He did with Moses, we’re able to see the power God has for us, the purpose he promises us, and the plan he wants for us. It might scare us. Some might even want to run away from because it’s terrifying and they won’t know how to handle the amazing things God has for them.

What’s In Your Hand: Using Your God-given, Talent

Perhaps you’ve said “I want God to use me!” I know many believers who feel that way. Perhaps your daily life now seems quite monotonous and unimportant, and you wish that light-bulb moment would happen when you know you’re making a significant and lasting difference for His kingdom. You see others in the spotlight who God seems to be using in a big way, and you try hard to not allow envy to grow in your heart. Will you ever be able to use your God-given, talent, to their full potential?

Whenever a lasting desire shows up in the human heart I believe it’s evidence of the way in which God made us. Those desires often become distorted or are directed in unhealthy directions, but the desire is from God. Your desire to make a difference is proof that God made you for a reason, both for this life and for eternity. You and I will never feel completely satisfied until we fulfill the purpose for which He created us.

But we’re not born with everything we need to fill the role for which God made us. The seeds are there, but in order to fill a role that’s big enough to qualify as God-sized, you and I need to grow up in all kinds of ways. And the way to get there is to begin using what’s in our hands right now.

In the Bible, Moses had spent forty years being educated in Pharaoh’s court, and another forty years on the back-side of the desert herding sheep. When God appeared to Him in the burning bush Moses felt ignored, beaten down, old, and anything but ready for some significant role in God’s plan. But God would hear none of His excuses.

When Moses complained that the leaders of Israel would not believe his incredible story of hearing directly from God, God asked him, “What’s in your hand,?” All Moses had was a shepherd’s staff, and God immediately demonstrated His miraculous power using that staff. (Exodus 4:1-5 ) It was with that very staff that God through Moses would later part the Red Sea, bring water out of a rock, and bring the Israelites victory over their foes in battle.

You have something in your hand right now as well. It may seem no more impressive than a shepherd’s staff, but it may be just the, talent, God needs to use in accomplishing His purpose.

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

Burning Bush, God appears to Moses

May 5, 2020May 6, 2020

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

In her book “Thriving, Not, Surviving” The author provides you with the route map to navigate a particular life, focusing on self-belief, relationships, managing change and finding your true purpose and achieving fulfillment.

In this episode of the Transform your mind to Transform your life radio show and podcast, Coach Myrna Young interviews Gina Gardiner, Author of the book , “Thriving Not Surviving – The 5 Secret Pathways To Happiness Success and Fulfilment”

Gina is a Motivational Speaker, Empowerment and Relationship Coach and Transformational Leadership Trainer with well over 30 years of experience helping people experience happiness, success and fulfillment. She’s the founder of the Thrive Together Tribe membership and personal and spiritual development Program and The Enlightened Leadership Program.
Gina has learned to walk twice as an adult. For over 20 years, she ran her award-winning school, for the most part from a wheelchair. The gift of this experience was the development of a unique approach to life and learning the tools on, Thriving, not just, surviving.
In 2004 Gina left Headship school as the Principal and has since worked with countless individuals, couples, teams and organizations helping them to step into their potential, to learn the lessons from the past and to recognize that it is their choice to step into their power and live a fearless life. Gina is passionate about supporting people to live a truly happy, successful and fulfilling life, thriving, not just, surviving.

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What is the Difference between, Thriving, and, Surviving?

There’s a huge difference between, surviving, and thriving. Surviving, means to “continue to live or exist, especially in spite of danger or hardship.” Thriving, means to “prosper, be fortunate or successful, to grow or develop vigorously; to flourish.”

I really found myself moving on my career path very quickly. I was promoted to deputy principal of a large junior high school when I was 28. I was appointed to be the catalyst for change. I was the youngest on the staff and for the first six months. I was working directly with the principal because I was the deputy principal to strategically plan what we were going to do and start making the changes.

In the UK schools have a week off in February for the spring half term. I was really thrilled to be going skiing with the kids. I was a keen skier and went off to Italy for the ski trip. In those days it was very fashionable to have the longest skis possible and I got a new pair of skis for Christmas. I proceeded to wrap the extra 10 centimetres’ of the skis. We left for the ski lift after lunch the next day after arrival. It was an absolutely beautiful day, one of those days in the mountains where the sun was shining and everything was clean and crisp. I followed my friends to this new trail, when our lift turned a corner, I noticed the mountain was not as we expected. Instead of being on a lovely red run that went for three or four kilometres, we were on the Schindler slope, which was the most difficult black run called a mogul. A mogul is where the snow has been carved by the weather and they are often little cobblestones; but these were six-foot monsters and the only way to ski was to turn on the top of a mogul and slide down and then find a way through the moguls till the next one, and turn on either side a narrow piece. There was some powder snow, so I skied the first bird and then lost my nerve in terms of turning and ended up falling a long way in the powder snow. It took me about 20 minutes to retrieve my ski and then make my way down to where my friends were sitting. Each of them sitting on a mogul rather like an elf sitting on a toadstool!

I decided to sit on a mogul as well and the top of my mogul gave way and I starting to fall. The next thing I knew, I was coming to. I had lost consciousness. I’m told I fell about 150 to 200 feet down the mountain.

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We were traveling home the next morning, so I thought I’d rather go and see the medics in the UK instead of Italy. I had a terrible journey home. My mum took one look at me and she carted me off to the emergency at the hospital. They diagnosed with a bad concussion and that I had damaged a nerve in my neck. It took me three weeks to get back to school and two weeks later I was due to be the deputy leader on a skiing trip to Switzerland. I was given permission to go because we were taking a doctor with us. I was finding it more and more difficult to manage but I did manage until the very last evening when I said to a staff member, I’m going to have to go and lie down. I wasn’t laying on my bed for more than a few minutes when I discovered that I was paralyzed. So I’m lying on my bed, I can’t feel my one side, I didn’t want to frighten the children, their rooms were children down the corridor, and so I waited until one of the other adults arrived. I have to say it was the longest time in my life. I have no idea how long it was, I just know it felt like forever. When they did arrive all hell broke loose, an ambulance was called. I was carted off to Geneva Hospital and I was there for several days before being flown home and gradually my mobility returned; but I was never quite the same. By the end of May, I went back to school. I was doing school and sleep. I thought I’ve had six weeks to recuperate during the summer break but; two weeks later I had a phone call very early in the morning from my principal’s wife, she had just found him dead in bed, he had a massive heart attack and so far from being restful holiday I was suddenly acting principal.

I had to contact the staff, the parents and the local authority and prepare for September and so by the time September came, I had plans in place and by the following January I was appointed the permanent head master. I was determined that not only the children; but also the staff in my school would get the best learning environment that I could produce. That they would, thrive not just survive. I’ve been very unhappy at school, and I wanted something very different for my pupils, and also for the staff.

I was walking, but by 1987 my mobility was deteriorating, and I had to start using the wheelchair in school. I wasn’t at that point wheelchair-bound, I could walk into the classroom, I could walk into my office; but I couldn’t walk any distance. Any walking produced fatigue and pain and for the next few years I managed like that until in 1996, I sneezed and I felt something ping in my back. It was towards the end of the summer term, there’s something about the summer holidays for me, I’m not quite sure what I did.

I had a special chair in assembly and that where I could sit at standing height, and one day I went to get off the chair, and my legs wouldn’t hold me. I fell to the floor. So off to the hospital. It turned out that I had a huge ruptured disc. I was just, surviving. I had failed back surgery syndrome, so when I came around from the operation, if I put my left foot to the floor, then I just used to faint because of the pain. Surviving, was becoming tedious.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

The best explanation the doctors came up with is that during the fall I had bruised the spinal cord and with skiing the second time, that the spinal cord had been swollen and cut off the blood supply or whatever, and so a period of time I was paralyzed on one side; but I was back at school after the back operation very quickly. I already had my wheelchair, so the school was all set up for me to be operating from a wheelchair. I was still just, surviving. It took me 18 months to walk at the end of my quite small garden.

I ruptured another disk that summer. I could not stand at all now, if I stayed at home, I couldn’t do anything other than read or watch television. If my care giver didn’t fill the kettle, I couldn’t make myself a drink. So I decided to go back to school. I was back at school because my brain worked, my mouth worked, my hands worked. I had people who could lift things if I needed it and I could do what I loved and I was good at. Surviving was my intent. I was going to focus on what I could do to start, thriving, not just surviving.

In 2004 I was given an ultimatum by the neurologist you’ve got to stop working the 15 hours a day that you’re doing because my health was deteriorating. I made the very difficult decision that I was going to leave the school. I had to use an electric wheelchair. I had all of these Skills, these expertise, experience and I thought well. What am I going to do now?

I decided to focus on the development of leadership. Getting more women to the table. I looked at retail manufacturing, finance, Insurance, local government and a whole range of industries. The issues that they faced in terms of developing leadership, was no different in education, so I wrote my first couple of books and they became my credibility. I worked mainly in corporate field as an, executive coach. I was now, thriving. The recession in early 2008 hurt my business, because the corporations just slashed training and development. I was back to, surviving.

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I started to do some lecturing for the university and they would commission me out to go and work with smaller businesses, SME is anything up to about 8 million pound turnover. I would go and work with these companies, we’d sort out the problem, I’d go away and then a few months later I’d be invited back to sort out another problem, so I suggested in those businesses to hire me full time as an, executive coach.

Back to, thriving, using the principles that I used to build up my own organization and become one of the best 100 schools in England. I used the gift that my disability gave me and the gift that I had developed within my own organization to developing people’s empowerment, personal empowerment and leadership where they would take radical responsibility for their own performance and shared responsibility for the team, for the whole organization and it was incredibly successful.

So I setup genuinely you. I wrote the book, thriving not surviving, and that sent me on my mission. My mission now is to positively impact one million people and to do that through personal empowerment and enlightened leadership.

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How can people go from, Thriving, to, Surviving, when facing challenges?

It’s a bit serendipitous. You have a problem, you find a way to get over it, then something

else happens and you find another way to keep, surviving. When I came to write, thriving not surviving, and it was the second book that I’d written around looking at the strategies that I’d used to overcome my personal challenges and going from, surviving, to thriving. The first book

was called, Chariots on Fire, that was my story and the personal strategies that I used to overcome the difficulty of, surviving, but between 2009 and 2017, a lot of things changed.

I’ve done a lot of development work on myself and I’d worked with thousands of people and so I had moved my thinking.

Here are the Two areas to focus to start, Thriving, and stop, Surviving.

Beliefs – our beliefs about ourselves become our reality. If you believe you’ll fail, the chances are you won’t even start. If you believe you’ll might fail, you’re going to make a set of decisions. If you believe I’m going to succeed, don’t quite know how but; I’m going to succeed, your beliefs about whether you’re enough or whether you are, too fat, too tall, too short, not rich enough, not educated enough, too old, too young, those beliefs absolutely determine what sort of quality of life you’re going to have.
The second pathways is relationships. You want to be, thriving, in your relationships. Every relationship we have with other people is a mirror image of the relationship we have with ourselves. So if you don’t feel that you’re enough, if you listen to other people’s opinions rather than trusting your own, if you believe that you deserve to be treated badly because you don’t actually love and appreciate yourself, you’re going to put up with people treating you in a very different way, than if you actually have confidence and a good self-esteem. So the relationships we have with ourselves are incredibly important.

In a past episode Surviving R Kelly: the Mindset of a Predator,

The Lifetime series, Surviving R. Kelly, and the follow up Dateline episode, show a rich and famous R. Kelly feeding his sex machine with women of all ages. His preference seemed to be teenage girls as young as 12 years old; but women in their 30’s had the same experience. One said that she did unspeakable things in a Black room, was starved, had to ask before she went to the bathroom, was physically abused, and had to call Art. Kelly, Daddy.

So in this interview, Nicole and I explore the mindset of predator and how women of all ages can use their intuition to escape the lair of a predator.

These women who were a part of the, surviving R Kelly, documentary, had to learn to be strong minded. Similarly Gina had to learn to push past her flesh and fight to do the things she had always done, like lead a school. One of the victims in the, Surviving R. Kelly, interview, said just that. She said that, sexual predators, look for the, weak minded woman,. They usually go for the young, like teenagers because they are, weak minded women, but if they find you are weak minded as an adult, then you become a victim as well. She was one of the women in her 30’s who was a victim. So if you are a, weak minded woman, then you are not using your intuition, instead, you are looking for this person to fill the void in your life, and in, the mindset of a sexual predator, they are more than happy to accommodate.

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If you are interested in your personal and spiritual development, all of Gina’s programs are on her website which is genuinely- you. You will find all sorts of resources, lots of free stuff and also find her one-on-one coaching program and enlightened leadership program.

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

How to Heal Your Brokenness

Leadership Coaching – Transform your Mind

Important Leadership Skills for the workplace