How to Raise your Self-esteem by Erasing Self Doubt

How to Erase Self Doubt

In this week’s segment of the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, I teach on the topic how to Raise your Self Esteem by Erasing Self Doubt.

Self confidence and self esteem is the belief that you can accomplish any task or any goal.

Self doubt is the negative narrative that plays in your head. It is like PAC man. It is there to eat up your confidence

I was listening to a Ted talk YouTube video last week and the speaker was telling his story.
He said for 10 years he smoked crack when he woke up and before he went to bed. Hoping to numb the pain of living. He was a disappointment to his mother, his wife and his children. He felt worthless!
On his second trip to prison, he spent a total of 8 years in prison, his adopted mother had a heart attack and he was told she was not going to make it. He felt pretty low that this woman who he adopted him and loved his as her own and tried to give him a better life was now in the hospital, in a cold dark room and he was not there to offer her comfort. This was the first spark of change in him. Maybe he should do something with his life other than being a mess up.
When he got out of prison this time he decided to go to college. He was now a middle aged black man and he was in college with 20 year old white students. Never the less he did good and now looked forward for the accolades his teachers gave him because he was performing better than expected. He said that praise was now his new drug. He lived for his teachers praises. One day one of his teachers put an application for a job on his desk. He couldn’t believe it. His teacher had confidence in him, his teacher had confidence in his ability to do the job. The self confidence seedling inside him got water and grew a little. As his self confidence grew, his life changed. No longer was he a non contributing member to society, he was making a contribution. He now had a new family and 7 years after he was released from prison, he received his PHD in Physiology!

Self confidence doesn’t always come naturally. Sometimes you have to practice and practice until you build it. Sometimes it comes from your teachers or your parents.

So today I will share some tools to help you build up your self confidence and self esteem while starving the negative self talk. The negative talk that tells you, you are not good enough. You can never make it, you are not smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough.

But before we can get to the solution of anything or before we can get to anywhere on the map, we have to know how we got to where we are right now and pinpoint where we are.

For example. If you are at the mall and you are wanting to go to Macy’s department store you look at the map and it shows “You are here” if you want to get to Macy’s than you know you have to walk right or left.
It is the same way in life.

Statics show that we can shed a lot of light on how we got here on the map by looking at our childhood. You see parenting does not come
with a manual and some parents get it right; but most get it wrong.

Understanding your inner child is very important to unlocking the door of where you are on the map today.
You see when you came into the world you were totally dependent on someone else to care for you. Not just to feed you, bathe you, and to keep you warm but to love you, protect you and nurture you.
If whenever you cried your mother or caregiver came and picked you up and smiled at you and comforted you then you transformed that into the feeling of you are important.
If however when you cried you were ignored, then you formed the feeling that you are unwanted.
Even though you have no memory of being a baby, your heart and your internal computers have a record of everything. A hypnotist can go back and pull it out. That is the root of low self esteem and self doubt that is now an oak tree!

If today you are listening to me and you are experiencing low self esteem and self doubt or you don’t understand why you are not getting the results you want. Why you are here on the map and you can never get over there. I challenge you to do the work find out why.

I was watching Oprah Super Soul Sunday a few months ago and she had a guest who talked about going back to your childhood home in your mind and looking out the window. What do you see?

I did this exercise.
I grew up with a single mother and my grandmother in Guyana. Guyana is in South America. Our neighbors are Venezuela and Brazil.
We were very poor. Both my mother and grand mother were domestic servants.
I was the eldest of 4 children and we all lived in a room in a big house.
When I looked through the window of that room. I saw that even though I was poor, I had hope. I had love, I had friends, I was happy.
I saw that I had self confidence because I believed I was attractive. My dad told me so and I believed him.
I had self confidence because I believed I was intelligent. I did well in school. I was a B+ student.
I had self confidence because I knew I would get a good job when I left school. And I did. When I graduated from school, I got a job at the Ministry of Health. I was a payroll clerk paying all the doctors at Georgetown hospital.
I never lost my self confidence. If someone wanted to hurt me by calling me ugly, did nothing to me because I knew I was attractive.
If someone called me stupid, it did nothing to me because I knew I was intelligent.
That is why we have to have an internal lotus of control. You can’t let people steal your self confidence by telling you, “you are not good enough.” You are wonderfully made. As Joel Osteen says “We are all made like a fully loaded top of the line sports car” everything we need to be successful in life is preloaded at the factory. All we have to do is to read the manual!

I challenge you to go back to your childhood home in your mind and look through the window.

We lose self esteem because of a variety of reasons
• We were inadequately nurtured as children.
• We could have absorbed negative messages about ourselves and it still resides in the core of our beings.
• Self esteem is what you think and feel about yourself and not what others think and feel about you.
• How we feel about ourselves, is how we view the world.

To grow in self esteem is to expand our capacity for happiness.

The higher our self esteem the more equipped we are to handle life’s adversities.
The higher our self esteem the more ambitious we are not necessary in a career; but in forming healthy relationships and not repeating destructive patterns.
The higher our self esteem the more likely we are to form nourishing bonds with others.

Our external life is an indication of what is going on inside.
The art of raising our self esteem is a process your level of commitment determines how long raising your self esteem will take.

How to raise your self esteem by erasing self doubt

Some of us never got love from our parents; but we are now mothers. It is important to hug your kids often and tell them you love them. It is important to make your kids feel valuable.
But, even if you get no love from your parents, friends, lovers, you must love yourself. You can never give away what you don’t have. If you don’t love yourself you can’t love your children, you can’t love your husband.

How to be self confident

How do you know if you love yourself?

Ask yourself these questions?
• Do I take care of myself?
• Do I make being healthy a priority?
• Am I stretching and challenging myself to be better than I am today?
• Am I living life with passion or am I just passing through?

If you answered No to any of these questions then you need to make some changes in your life before you get to 80 years old and realize that you never lived.

How do you erase self doubt?

By Thinking it, speaking it and doing it!

The weeds that take over the garden of your mind can only flourish if you are a bad gardener!

You have to protect your dreams by plucking up the weeds before they grow. They will come. Self doubt always comes; but you have to pluck them out by speaking of your goals and doing something to get you moving towards the place on the map you want to go.
That is why you have to know where you are so you won’t move in the opposite direction.

First Think it. There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so. William Shakespeare.

Rhonda brine of the secret says “What you think about you bring about”

Your thoughts affect your attitude, your self confidence, your mood, and there is a direct relationship to your thoughts and your experiences in life.

Remember when you were a kid and your parents would tell not to hang around Johnny or Jane? They did not know why; but they knew that if you kept company with Jonny or Jane, no good would come of you.
In the same way if you keep replaying negative emotions in your head such as fear, discontent, anger, jealousy, insecurities, blame etc then you will keep attracting more negative energy to your experience.

But if you are wanting that promotion and you see yourself in this new role and you are confident that you will get this promotion then you will. You might not get it at your first try but if you never give up it will be yours eventually; conversely, If you want this promotion; but you place road blocks in your path such as any and all negative thoughts then chances are you will never attract this reality into your experience.

When we think, our thoughts become like magnets and attract, and then attach to like thoughts. That is why it manifests in our life.

Nothing shows up in our life unless we attract it.

We have all seen the power of attraction in motion when if we have something bad happen to us at the beginning of the day, bad things keep on happening for the rest of the day.

So, it is very important to watch what you think.

Now let’s take a look at Speak it.

The spoken word is a powerful tool and by leveraging your voice you expand your dreams from internal thoughts to external possibilities, laying the ground work for divine purpose to manifest. Deepak Chopra

When you take your thoughts, which are formless and speak them into the atmosphere you give them form. This empowers them.

“Talk happiness; talk faith; talk health. Say you are well, and all will be well with you. God shall hear your words and make them true.” Ella Wheeler Wilcox

So, remember to speak it. Tell a friend or your coach of your intentions.

And lastly “just do it.” Nike made this phrase popular but it applies to more than athletics. Just do it. There will never be a better time than the present.

“He who waits to do a great deal of good at once will never do anything.”
― Samuel Johnson

So “just do it.” Think about something you have been thinking of doing for some time. Tell someone about it and then take the first step. It does not have to be a giant step. It could be as simple as doing research or taking that nice red Mercedes out for a test drive; but it will be a step in the right direction.
I hope my presentation was thought provoking. These are the principles I live by and I attract all that I want into my experience; so give it a try.
If you lack self confidence and would like to talk to a coach, I offer a 30 min Free strategy session to help you gain self confidence to achieve your goals.
Click this link to set up your Free Strategy Session
Namaste!,”

Is Starting A Real Estate Investment LLC A Good Idea?

Real Estate Investing LLC

This week on The Mindset Transformation Radio show and Podcast with Coach Myrna and Rich Dad trainer Trevor Evans, we discuss the topic “Is Starting A Real Estate Investment LLC A Good Idea?”

This is the 6th episode in our Funding, Fixing, and Flipping Series:
Listen in to understand how important setting up your Real Estate Investment business with the right tax structure, would allow you to keep most of your investment income and not pay all of it to the tax man!

Tip of the week from Coach Myrna: Landlord LLC benefits
If you hold and rent Real Estate, this article could offer massive insight on one possible way to structure your company. We are not giving legal advice, just questions for you to ask you asset protection attorney.
Keeping in mind the risks associated with opening your business as a sole proprietorship, consider using this scenario for your business.

Open an LLC, purchase a property, but don’t manage it. That’s right, don’t be the one to manage the property. You can use the combination of a C-Corp and an LLC. Let the C-Corp manage the company. This is good to reduce liabilities. How? Let’s take an example.

For the last four months, the tenants have been complaining that the parking lot in the complex you own is too dark. They don’t feel safe walking to and from their cars at night and want to have you install more street lights to brighten up the area. They continue to complain to the management company, the C-Corp, letting them know of the issue. Having not addressed the concerns, the parking lot remains dark and one night, while walking in from her car, a young mother of two who live in your property is robbed at gun point in the dark parking lot. When she sues, who is liable? The LLC? They own the property, so it would be them, right? Wrong.
The C-Corp, as the managing entity, is the responsible party when it comes to any damages and liabilities incurred because of this incident.
The LLC, having limited liability, is protected. This is something very important to keep in mind when making the decision on which type of entity you wish to use.

For more information on setting up the structure of your Real Estate Investment business, check out this Connected Investor Blog post

http://connectedinvestors.com/blog/real-estate-investment-llc-vs-s-corp/

So, What are the Pro’s and Con’s of LLC for Real Estate Investing? Is starting a Real Estate Investment LLC a good idea?
Tune in to hear Trevor’s answer.

What exactly are the major differences between an S-Corp, C-Corp and an LLC as it relates to real estate investing?

A C-Corp is a management entity. As per my tip of the week. Use your C-Corp to manage your rental properties.
So, in case you are sued for negligence, the C-Corp would be the benefactor of the law suit and you as the owner would have no liability.
The C-Corp also has more leniency in regards to what expenses can be written off; but the biggest benefit of having a C-Corp manage your rental properties, is the ability for the C-Corp to collect rental revenues and pay the HOA dues and other expenses from these revenues. You as the owner of the property, would only be responsible for your positive cash flow at the end of the month.

If you were collecting the rents in your personal name then you would have to claim the entire amount as income.

LLC – A single member LLC offers no asset protection and is charged with self employment tax.
A multiple member LLC has asset protection.
A multiple member LLC, members are not liable for debt incurred by the LLC
A multiple member LLC can be viewed by the IRS as a partnership and as such the members can determine the split or who gets what.

S-Corp or self corporation is a flow through entity.
Used primarily to expense big ticket items that cannot be expensed by the LLC.
The S-corp does not pay taxes, its members file a K1 for any income not written off and that income is taxed at their income level.

Some other questions answered by Trevor:
I have a rental property in my personal name, can you tell me the pros and cons of transferring that property in an LLC?

I have no mortgage on this property. Could I have transferred it into an LLC if I had a mortgage on it?

What are the states that have the most conducive laws that benefit the Real Estate Investor and protect the LLC?
Can you explain some of the benefits of incorporating or forming an LLC in Florida?

For additional reading, here is an article on “Is Starting A Real Estate Investment LLC In Your Future?
As Investopedia so eloquently puts it LLCs are a “corporate structure whereby the members of the company cannot be held personally liable for the company’s debts or liabilities. Limited liability companies are essentially hybrid entities that combine the characteristics of a corporation and a partnership or sole proprietorship.”

If you found this blog post and podcast inspiring, please Subscribe, rate, and review this podcast, then send me an email to info@myhelps.us with the subject line “podcast review”

and I will send you a Free Gift! The Mindset Shift Focus Wheel.

This is a workbook to change your Mindset from a Fixed Mindset to a Growth Mindset. This is so important for success in investing. It will allow you to look at an opportunity with the eyes of an Investor and not with the eyes of an employee. As an employee you have the Mindset of limits and security.
Until next time Namaste.

How to Unleash Power Within

We are connected to divine consciousness and so we come pre-loaded with the power of the Universe, we need to learn how to, unleash the power within.

This week on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast with coach Myrna, I interview Dr Donavan Outten, Dr Outten is going to share “How to unleash your, inner greatness, also called the, power within, so you can tap into the person God intended you to be.

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Tip of the week: Are you Desperate and Determined?

A few weeks ago, my pastor preached on the 3 D’s
Desperate, Determined and Dependent!
You see the 3 D’s require a mindset shift. 
In order to, unleash power within, we must become desperate, determined and dependent. We see numerous times in the bible when God promoted and elevated people who were either desperate, determined or dependent on him for victory.
We see that every miracle begins with a desperate problem.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Lets look at the story of Esther to illustrate.
The story begins with Ahasuerus, ruler of the Persian Empire, holding a lavish banquet, initially for his court and dignitaries and afterwards for all inhabitants of the capital city, Shushan.
On the seventh day, Ahasuerus orders the queen, Vashti, to come and display her beauty before the guests by wearing only her crown. She refuses. Furious, Ahasuerus has her removed from her position and makes arrangements to choose a new queen from a selection of beautiful young women from throughout the empire.
One of these is the Jewish orphan, Esther. After the death of her parents, she was fostered by her cousin, Mordecai. She finds favor in the King’s eyes, and is crowned his new queen.
Ahasuerus appoints Haman as his viceroy. Mordecai, who sits at the palace gates, falls into Haman’s disfavour, as he refuses to bow down to him. Having discovered that Mordecai is Jewish, Haman plans to kill not just Mordecai, but all the Jews in the empire.
As the story unfolds, Esther the Jewish orphan turned queen, used her place as queen to intercede with the King; her desperation made her, unleash power within, her and risk death, because it was against the law to present herself to the King unsummoned. This was punishable by death.
Her determination, desperation and dependence on God, saved the Jews of the Persian Empire, she, unleashed her power within.

My Guest this week on Mindset Transformation Radio is Dr Donavan Outten.

Dr. Donavan Outten is a powerful trainer, consultant, educator and administrator with over 20 years’ experience. He is the Associate Vice President of Academic Affairs at Webster University.
Dr. Outten is a published author of 2 books, one of which is our topic today. Unleash your inner greatness: A guide to overcoming obstacles and Tapping into the person God meant you to be.
Dr Outten writes books to inspire and motivate individuals to achieve greatness in their lives.
His research focuses on developing young African American Students in higher education. He has also produced seminars, lectures, classes, assessments and workshops throughout the United States and Caribbean.
Dr. Outten earned his Doctorate degree in Educational Leadership from Nova.
Southeastern University, his Masters in Human Resource Development & Administration from Barry University and Bachelors in Psychology from Bethune Cookman University.

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Show notes: How to, Unleash Your inner Greatness: : A guide to overcoming obstacles and Tapping into the person God meant you to be.

Question 1. I know that, unleashing our, inner greatness, our, unleash our power within, is your space. Can you tell our audience what does it mean to, Unleash Your, Inner Greatness,” and a little of why you chose this topic as the subject of your book.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Question 2. So what are some of the obstacles to unleashing our, power within?

Most children today are taught not to question authority, so they go about their lives always looking for someone to direct them and never focusing on their inner strength or, power within.

Question 3. Where does the, power within, come from?

We are connected to source energy. If you take a droplet of water from the ocean, it has the same properties as the entire body of the ocean. Similarly we came from God or source, so we have the same powers. We just need to, unleash the power within.

Question 4. How does an individual muster up enough strength to have such strong determination to finish a task or overcome a devastating life situation?

• Where do they find the courage to stand up for what they believe in or battle back from a medical condition that almost took their life?

• How does one leave a secure job to start a business that they are passionate about?

• What is the secret to obtaining determination and maintaining it over a period of time?
• What kinds of people have it, and what is determination?

Dr Outten says, “In my heart, I truly believe that determination is having the will to move forward in spite of what obstacle, barrier, or difficulty you might be facing. It is looking adversity in the face and not backing down, but pushing forward with tenacity and, unleash power within.

He feels that Self-determination starts on the inside. It is first a thought or a belief that you can or will succeed no matter the problem you have to face. You believe in yourself even when no one else does. That spells confidence, character, and courage.

Access inner greatness
Access inner greatness

Question 5. What are some other obstacles to unleashing our, inner greatness?

Resilience: The path toward nurturing a resilient mindset and lifestyle is a road
that should not be taken lightly. This path has many bumps, twists, turns, and potholes
and is never straightforward. The road often contains obstacles and detours
that interfere with reaching your destination.

Passion: Your passion does not usually appear overnight. It has been dwelling
inside you for a long time. As a child, what were you passionate about? As a
teenager, what were you passionate about? As a young adult, what were you
passionate about? Often times, you will identify a pattern in what you are
passionate about. It is up to you to identify what it is and go after it.
When turning your passion into profit, you have to be careful and work smarter,
not harder. You will run into a lot of obstacles and need to face your fears, as
things probably won’t go as smoothly as you’d like them to go. It’s all a part of
the journey.

Destiny: Destiny can be referred to as a predetermined course of events. It may
be conceived as a predetermined future, whether in general or of an individual.
What you perceive your future to be will come to pass if you work for it, believe
in it, and live your life towards it.
What you have today does not reflect what you will obtain tomorrow. If you have
the capability of looking into your future and seeing what lies ahead, then all you
have to do is work towards your goal.
Walking towards your destiny is no easy task because you will have obstacles and
hurdles along the way. There will be road blocks that will make you think that
you are going down the wrong path, but you will need to have patience,
endurance, and faith. Your faith will play a big part in finding and fulfilling your
destiny; you will need to seek guidance from God and, unleash power within.

Question 6. I know that you work predominately with the African American youth. What advice would you give them on being determined and staying the course?
You have to better than good, you have to be great.
You have to work twice as hard for the same opportunity as your white counterparts.

If you find this content valuable, please share and subscribe to my iTunes by clicking the link below:
Transform Your Mind with coach Myrna

 

Additional Resources

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/determination

 

 

How To Transform Behavior in the Workplace

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna

How to Transform Behavior in the Workplace

Gena Yuvette Davis, a board certified executive coach, corporate trainer and organizational development consultant. “How to Transform Behavior in the Workplace” to facilitate workplace well being

In keeping with my custom, I would like to share with you my tip of the week from coach Myrna.
Since Gena is going to talk today on How to, Transform, Behavior, in the, workplace, I want to share “How to, transform, your life by  removing  old conditioning.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

How to Remove old conditioning:

The physical component of the mind body connection, is the brain.
The mind is the software and the physical brain is the hardware.
If your brain, the hardware, is stuck in old patterns, even with the best of intentions, the software, the mind, won’t work.
If you let your brain keep you repeating the same patterns, you become like a biological robot.
Your words thoughts and actions become totally predictable.
We are all victims of repetitive patterns.

To change the patterns that are not serving you, the solution is awareness.

Here are 5, Behaviors, that are usually automatic.

1: Snacking non – stop even when not hungry
2: Spending too much time on the couch watching TV
3: Overspending your way into debt
4: Eating too much fast foods
5: Skipping breakfast
6: Late night snacking
7: Smoking cigarettes

How can you bring awareness to these, behaviors, and interrupt your pattern?

Let’s look at.
Snacking non stop
– whenever you feel the need to grab that bag of chips, stop and ask yourself
What am I really needing?
What need is this food really filling?

The moment you take a moment to think about your action, you interrupt your pattern.
You are on your way to breaking that habit. Even if you still eat that bag of chips.
You are on to way to removing old conditioning. Awareness is the key.

Another way to remove old conditioning and, behavior, is to:

  •  Change your state
    Let’s say you are sitting on the couch and you reach for the bowl of nachos on the table or the bags of chips from our previous example.
    Just as you think the thought to command your hands to reach for the bowl; Change your state!
    Get up and walk to the bathroom or to the mailbox. Move your physical body into a different position.
  • The 3rd way you can remove old conditioning or, behavior, is to:
  • Create a new habit – rewire the physical component.
Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Let look at our example of skipping Breakfast.
Make it easy.
– buy a drinkable breakfast and grab it on the way out of the door.
– have your partner make you breakfast.
– prepare a sandwich the night before and eat on the way to work.
– set the alarm 15 mins earlier.

These are a few ways to remove old conditioning and, transform, behavior, in your personal life:

  1. •Authentically committed to empowering and inspiring others to be their best selves, Gena specializes in working with clients from a variety of industries who are on the fast track to taking their careers to next level. She is also a change agent for organizations who wish to transform their companies into diverse, collaborative and thriving work forces. Her drive and energy is infectious as she is able to elevate her clients and help them live to their true potential.

    • Gena’s coaching, training and consulting style is intuitive, always full of energy, and with a touch of gentle persistence! Knowing that the answers are already within, Gena’s job is simply to be the way-shower of what is already known to be true – “success attained.” She is dedicated to assisting individuals and organizations to achieve excellence in ways that support integrity and a collaborative spirit and to achieve their purpose.  In addition to executive coaching and training in the areas of emotional intelligence, leadership effectiveness, communication skills and reputation management, her work includes a variety of strategic consulting services such as strategic planning, change management, retreat planning and facilitation, employee engagement, team-building, as well as diversity and inclusion initiatives. Her focus is on developing collaborative processes and as a thinking partner to foster learning, dialogue, and innovation.

• Podcast interview Questions Transform Your Mind Podcast

Best Practices to Transform Behavior In the Workplace

• 1) What is “Behavioral Transformation using ETT ?”

Emotional Transformation Therapy (ETT)

Emotional Transformation Therapy (ETT), a therapeutic method incorporating the use of light, color wavelengths, and eye movements, aims to rapidly transform emotional distress and related physical pain into a positive emotional state.

Professionals trained in ETT work to help those in therapy address trauma and other pain and achieve lasting, healing change.

Emotional Transformation Therapy, developed by contemporary psychologist Dr. Stephen Vazquez in 1991, is a relatively new form of therapy. Vazquez’s studies in the fields of epigenetics, optometry, neurobiology, and quantum physics influenced various aspects of his development of ETT as he attempted to establish a therapeutic technique beneficial for the reduction of emotional and physical distress. His noninvasive, non-pharmaceutical approach combines traditional psychotherapy with the use of visual brain stimulation and colored light therapy for reportedly fast results.

ETT draws on the concepts of interpersonal therapy and visual brain stimulation therapy. This research-driven approach is used by trained practitioners to transform emotional distress without the use of drugs and medications. ETT aims to help the person in treatment move swiftly from a difficult emotional state into a more positive emotional state—from despair to empowerment, unhappiness to joy, or trepidation to courage, and so on—through the remedial use of light and color wavelengths, which can be administered through a light box designed specifically for ETT.

HOW DOES ETT WORK in TRANSFORMING, BEHAVIOR?

Many people who seek therapy do so when they experience mentally or physically unpleasant states or feel trapped by their emotions, feelings, memories, or current situation. In ETT, neural impulses are used in conjunction with specific forms of eye movement and stimulation to target these uncomfortable emotional and physical states in the corresponding areas of the brain.

Specifically, the brain is stimulated with lights and colors in order to reshape the neural impulses affecting the brain and the nervous system. The therapist observes the emotional responses of the person in therapy and helps facilitate productive regulation through verbal cues meant to induce rapid emotional and behavioral changes.

Discoveries in light therapy show particular wavelengths of light to be able to help transform a person’s emotional state when administered properly. ETT theory, which is grounded in this principle, incorporates interaction between the therapist and the person in therapy to create what proponents of ETT believe to be an effective method for the rapid restoration of a positive emotional state.

• 2) Why is behavioral transformation so difficult?
• 3) What are the different communication and behavioral styles?
• 4) What are three best practices to behavioral transformation in the workplace
• 5) What can we do to be our own advocates for change?
• 6) Can we really transform our work environment through behavioral transformation? How?

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3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

 

Happiness! The Universal goal of everyone who has breathe. So how can you find happiness after a divorce?

Coach Dan Willms talks about how your behavior affects your happiness. I agree; but here are my thoughts.

 

What is happiness?

Let’s start with what it is not.

  • It is not how much money you have.
    It is not how big your house is.
    It is not what kind of car you drive.
    It is not found in any external thing!

Here are 3 ways to find, happiness, after a divorce:

1. Your relationship with yourself.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you.
3. And your relationship with God.

Let’s look at each of these
As you can see, relationship is key.

We are social beings, we need connection, even it is one person.
That is why people commit suicide at Christmas, because while everyone is celebrating with family and friends they are alone.
It is also the reason that social media is so powerful, it allows connection to others.

I will share a story.
This woman from Toronto sent me a friend request on Facebook. She was the friend of one of my friends. I accepted. Then she started reaching out to me about coaching and about my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” .

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I found out her story.
Raped twice when she was a teenager, sent to live with her father in another country who abandoned her, got pregnant and gave her child up for adoption. She was living in a studio apartment alone. Facebook was her lifeline. You don’t know who is on the other end of that friend request!
So if you are lonely, connect!

These are a different training and a different mindset to come from a perspective of abundance instead of lack and limitation, and that’s really where my internal work has been. Each time I shift up belief, a thought, a perspective from lack and limitation to one of abundance, my life just expands and explodes.  You know what society says is this is accomplished, then you’ll feel successful and a lot of people get there, and they feel empty, they feel like that it doesn’t have much meaning in their lives or they’re not feeling satisfied or fulfilled. The truth is that as long as we’re chasing things outside of ourselves we’re always projecting our happiness or our fulfillment outside of ourselves. Fulfillment is never outside of ourselves, it’s within ourselves and it’s in the present moment. where all of our power exists.

1. Let’s look First at your relationship with yourself.

The first secret to finding happiness, You have to love yourself.
If you can’t love yourself, no one else can love you. If you can’t love yourself, you can never be happy!

You can start by finding one thing about you, that you love.
Come on, God knew what he was doing when he created you. Everyone has at least one thing that makes them stand out.
One of my daughter’s friend’s laments about the fact that she has no breasts and no curves. She can’t find a boyfriend. Why? Because she projects that and that is what the men see. Not loving herself shows up in other ways in a relationship.

Now look at some women who do not fit the cultural norm of beauty and weight. I can guaranty you that in every situation if she loves herself, she will be in a healthy relationship.
Plus, if there is something you can change about something you don’t like about yourself, do it.
If you can’t change it, find a different perspective on it and learn to love it.

2. Your relationship with those closest to you
A mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a best friend, a spouse are top on the list of level 5 intimate relationships. A level 5 relationship is a relationship with someone who knows your intimate secrets. Someone who you share everything with and they with you. If you have someone like this in your life. You are blessed indeed.
Now you may be wondering why I did not add children to that list. Children gives us profound happiness especially when they are young. But you can’t share secrets with your children so they don’t provide the intimacy we look for to be happy.
To be happy find a level 5 friend and cry on their shoulders!

3. And finally, your relationship with God.
The beauty of having a relationship with God is that it alone can make you happy. If you have a relationship with God, you will love yourself, you will be happy alone because you feel God’s presence with you always, your relationships will be healthy because you will love unconditionally because that is what God teaches us to do. You will find opportunities to bless others and that will make you happy.
A relationship with God is not just going to church, it is not just knowing scripture, it is not just about tithing. The relationship I am talking about is being in direct communication with God.
Going to God with your issues and struggles and seeing him make a way out of no way. Seeing him turn the weapons formed against you into blessings. Being able to receive guidance from the Holy Spirit every day. When you walk in that space everything else in your life falls into place.

You will not only find happiness again, but you will find bliss!

Listen to the full episode on YouTube
_blank”>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vxDGuSyiHQ

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4 Techniques to Outsmart Your Brain

4 Techniques to Outsmart Your Brain
4 Techniques to Outsmart Your Brain

Welcome to the Mindset Transformation radio show and Podcast. Today Dr. Marcia Reynolds is going to teach us “4 Techniques to Outsmart your Brain” Relax, Detach, gain clarity and ask yourself, How do I want to feel?

But First in keeping with that theme I want to share with you one of the classic stories of how our Brain can Outsmart us.
This story is called “Acres of Diamonds”
There once lived not far from the River Indus an ancient Persian by the name of Al Hafed. Al Hafed owned a very large farm with orchards, grain fields and gardens. He was a contented and wealthy man—contented because he was wealthy, and wealthy because he was contented. One day there visited this old farmer one of those ancient Buddhist priests, and he sat down by Al Hafed’s fire and told that old farmer how this world of ours was made.

He said that this world was once a mere bank of fog and the Almighty thrust his finger into the bank of fog and then began slowly to move his finger around and gradually to increase the speed of his finger until at last he whirled that bank of fog into a solid ball of fire, and it went rolling through the universe, burning its way through other cosmic banks of fog, until it condensed the moisture without, and fell in floods of rain upon the heated surface and cooled the outward crust. Then the internal flames burst through the cooling crust and threw up the mountains and made the hills and the valleys of this wonderful world of ours. If this internal melted mass burst out and cooled very quickly it became granite; that which cooled less quickly became silver; and less quickly, gold; and after gold, diamonds were made. Said the old priest, “A diamond is a congealed drop of sunlight.”

This is a scientific truth also. You all know that a diamond is pure carbon, actually deposited sunlight. The old priest told Al Hafed that if he had a handful of diamonds he could purchase a whole country, and with a mine of diamonds he could place his children upon thrones through the influence of their great wealth.

Al Hafed heard all about diamonds and how much they were worth, and went to his bed that night a poor man—not that he had lost anything, but poor because he was discontented and discontented because he thought he was poor. He said: “I want a mine of diamonds!” So he lay awake all night, and early in the morning sought out the priest. Reminds me of the story I tell my children about the dog and his shadow. If you are not familiar, a dog is walking over a bridge and sees another dog with a bone. He decides he wants that bone as well and jumps in and loses the bone he has in his mouth because what he saw was not another dog but his own shadow. It is a story of discontent and greed!

Getting back to our story. Al Hafed woke the priest out of his dreams and said to him, “Will you tell me where I can find diamonds?” The priest said, “Diamonds? What do you want with diamonds?” “I want to be immensely rich,” said Al Hafed, “but I don’t know where to go.” “Well,” said the priest, “if you will find a river that runs over white sand between high mountains, in those sands you will always see diamonds.” “Do you really believe that there is such a river asked al Hafed?” The priest replied “Plenty of them, plenty of them; all you have to do is just go and find them, then you have them.” Al Hafed said, “I will go.” So he sold his farm, collected his money at interest, left his family in charge of a neighbor, and away he went in search of diamonds.

He began at the Mountains of the Moon. Afterwards he went around into Palestine, then wandered on into Europe, and at last, when his money was all spent, and he was in rags, wretchedness and poverty, he stood on the shore of that bay in Barcelona, Spain, when a tidal wave came rolling in through the Pillars of Hercules and the poor, afflicted, suffering man could not resist the awful temptation to cast himself into that incoming tide, and he sank beneath its foaming crest, never to rise in this life again.

Now, Al Hafed’s successor one day led his camel out into the garden to drink, and as that camel put its nose down into the clear water of the garden brook Al Hafed’s successor noticed a curious flash of light from the sands of the shallow stream, and reaching in he pulled out a black stone having an eye of light that reflected all the colors of the rainbow, and he took that curious pebble into the house and left it on the mantel, then went on his way and forgot all about it.

A few days after that, this same old priest who told Al Hafed how diamonds were made, came in to visit his successor, when he saw that flash of light from the mantel. He rushed up and said, “Here is a diamond—here is a diamond! Has Al Hafed returned?” “No, no; Al Hafed has not returned and that is not a diamond; that is nothing but a stone; we found it right out here in our garden.” “But I know a diamond when I see it,” the priest said; “this is a diamond!”

Then together they rushed to the garden and stirred up the white sands with their fingers and found others more beautiful, more valuable diamonds than the first, and thus were discovered the diamond mines of Golconda, the most magnificent diamond mines in all the history of mankind, exceeding the Kimberley in its value. The great Kohinoor diamond in England’s crown jewels and the largest crown diamond on earth in Russia’s crown jewels came from that mine.

The moral to the story is had Al Hafed remained at home and dug in his own cellar or in his own garden he would have had “acres of diamonds”

We are all “Acres of Diamonds” Each and every one of us is unique with acres of talent and gifts. If we dig we will find them. Don’t be like Al Hafed and go looking for riches elsewhere. You are all diamonds in the rough.

Now let me tell you a little more of our guest today.

Dr. Marcia Reynolds is fascinated by the brain, especially what sparks feelings of connection, commitment, and possibility. She is able to draw on her research to help leaders have more meaningful conversations that inspire change. She has delivered workshops in 35 countries and has presented at the Harvard Kennedy School, Cornell University, and the Edwards School of Management in Canada.
Marcia is a true pioneer in the coaching profession. She was the 5th global president of the International Coach Federation and is the training director for the Healthcare Coaching Institute at Virginia Tech. She also teaches for coaching schools in Russia and China.
Interviews and excerpts from her books Outsmart Your Brain, Wander Woman, and her latest, The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations into Breakthroughs have appeared in many places including Fast Company, CNN.com, Psychology Today, and The Wall Street Journal and she has appeared on ABC World News.
Marcia’s doctoral degree is in organizational psychology with an emphasis on the needs of strong, smart women in today’s corporations. She also holds two master’s degrees in education and communications.

Show Notes:
• What do mean by “Outsmart your brain”
The primary purpose of the brain is to protect you and to keep you safe.
Anytime you say something to someone that is critical they get defensive and they get defensive without thought. Outsmarting your Brain is really about making good choices. Stopping and asking what is my brain perceiving here and what is really true. You have to know how to stop, breathe and make good choices.
You have to shift your emotions. Take 10 sec to remember to care, take 10 sec to realize that this person is not trying to hurt me.
You have to change your emotion to change your thought.

Here are the 4 Techniques to change your emotions:
1. Relax your body, release the tension. Take a breath let it out
2. Clear your mind. Quickly drop your mind to the center of your body
3. Center your mind on your Chi or 2nd Chakra
4. Choose how you want to feel.
• What prompts your brain to do things that sabotage your best intentions
The brain perceives a threat to something so it protects you.
If you are afraid it sees danger and sabotages your efforts.

Is there something we can do to stop reacting?
You have to understand your emotions triggers.
They are there to protect you.
Like respect in the workplace.
The brain reacts because it may think that someone is trying to take control over you

How can we use our heart and brain to control our emotions?
Quiet your mind and ask your mind or gut. What should I do?
Take a breath and go into your heart and then you usually say something better
When your heart and your gut is open then you have access to all three of your brains
Your brain, your heart and your gut.

Are the brains of men and women wired differently?
We are born with the same wiring but whatever is rewarded as we aged that is what we become
Women were more head and gut based and men were more head based but that is changing.
Men are becoming more heart based because they are being raised by women.

www.Outsmartyourbain.com
Go to discomfort zone resources for outsmarting your brain.
Contact Dr Marcia at marcia@outsmartyourbrain.com

web: http://www.myrnayounghelps.com
Author: “Out of the Snares”
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE
MyHelps Youtube channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8p2lfxF2GhOihRv8N3EZeA

Keep Your Vision in Front of You

Keep Your, Vision,  in Front of you – Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.

In OUT OF THE SNARES, MYRNA BERNADETTE TROTMAN shares her story of child abuse, poverty and her success as an entrepreneur. As a certified, Life Coach, she shares ten undeniable resources she used to help her achieve success and live the American Dream. This inspirational and motivational book will help you to reach your potential and achieve new levels of success in your life. Get these ten principles based on biblical principles and Universal Laws, deep down in your spirit and boldly go in the direction of your destiny:

Principle # 1. Keep Your Vision in Front of you

 

Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.

Like a Blacksmith, you need to keep hitting the Anvil, pounding it daily, shaping your dreams

If you build it they will come

Don’t let life’s challenges knock you off course remember:

“Circumstances does not make the man, it reveals him to himself” ~ James Allen

Man is the Lord and Master of his thoughts and thus is the maker of himself.

In my book “Out of the Snares” I tell a compelling story of my, vision, of America as my promised land. My Land of milk and honey. I kept that, vision, in front of me and kept picking myself up after each failure believing that I would succeed, and I did.

https://myhelps.us/out-of-the-snares/

A few weeks ago I was talking to a young leader, trying to upgrade his, vision casting, skills. I gave him four simple tips about communicating, vision.

1. CLARITY. Leaders must create clarity by narrowing the focus when casting, vision. Everything that can be done in the name of God is not sign at all. It is a sign of undisciplined thinking. The leader’s job is to focus the organization on the core essentials. The more we focus on and clarify essentials, the easier it is to identify and eliminate non-essentials.

2. COMPELLING. Once your goals are clarified, it must be communicated in a way that is compelling. A leader who makes an unprepared sloppy presentation can make an otherwise exciting goals seem boring. Compelling goals produces action. Boring goals produces nothing.

3. COMMITMENT. Casting a clear and compelling, vision, without calling for commitment is a waste of everyone’s time. Real leaders are committed and they call others to commitment. Some leaders are hesitant to demand sacrificial commitment because they are not all-in themselves. Commitment is an example that leaders set, not a message they teach. Leadership commitment is contagious. So is leadership non-commitment.

4. COMMUNITY. Clear and compelling goals attracts committed people. As these people sacrifice for the common, vision, community happens. Trying to create community for the sake of community creates unhealthy ingrown short-lived community. Doing goals together creates strong healthy long-term community.

SUMMARY. As a leader, you are the visionary for your church, ministry, or organization. If you communicate a, vision, that is clear and compelling, if you model and call for commitment, you will end up with a strong healthy community. You will also accomplish your dreams.

Additional Resources:

https://blog.myhelps.us/vision-fails-5-things-can-failure/

https://blog.myhelps.us/ten-characteristics-of-an-entrepreneur-leader/

https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/resumes-cover-letters/leadership-skills

 

Can you Guess your StartUP IQ?

Are you an, Entrepreneur, or thinking of becoming an, Entrepreneur? Can you guess your startup, IQ? Would you like to know if you are naturally gifted with Entrepreneurship Intelligence or you will have to work harder than most? Silicon Valley have the answer for you. They have a test to find out your startup, IQ.

Owning your own business gives you a sense of freedom and empowerment. You can build things and watch them grow.

Entrepreneurs, make decisions for themselves, realize their creative visions, and develop lasting relationships with other entrepreneurs, customers, and vendors.

It’s a great way to live. But your need an entrepreneur’s, IQ, to be good at starting and running a successful business.

Your Startup IQ could be in your hand
Your Startup IQ could be in your hand

Here are a few natural traits that predict Startup, IQ.

 

Openness – A high openness score means you are open minded. You listen to the ideas of others and are willing to learn from them. Sam Walton built the Walmart Empire by learning from his competitors. This is your first, IQ test.

• Conscientiousness – Doing what is right. Integrity and honesty fit into this natural ability and, IQ, as well. Conscientious Entrepreneurs run their companies diligently, solving their customers problems. This is your second, IQ, test.

• Extroversion – We have heard a lot about extroversion as it relates to successful CEO’s and startup, IQ. True in order to sell, you must like people and be comfortable around them; but as an, Entrepreneur, you shouldn’t go it alone. You should create a team. If you are not a natural extrovert, hire a front line sales person. Bill Gates is an introvert so you could be wildly successful even if you don’t have this natural ability.

• Agreeableness – Are you compassionate, warm and considerate? This is a necessary, IQ test. People do business with people they like. Agreeableness does not mean you must be nice all the time. As a business owner you must be able to also be straightforward with customers and employees and to replace the ones who do not conform to your mission.

• Neuroticism – A good indication of Entrepreneurial startup, IQ, success is to score low on the neuroticism test. Neuroticism is defined as the tendency of an individual to experience negative emotions such as anxiety, hostility, depression, impulsiveness and vulnerability. Entrepreneurs, Managers and Leaders must be emotionally stable, self-confident, calm in the presence of chaos, even tempered and relaxed.

• Fluid Intelligence – This refers to the ability to rapidly learn and apply a rule. Entrepreneurs, deal with different issues all day. As a start-up, entrepreneur,  they wear many different hats. The ability to switch from one issue to another is very important and is a skill that cannot be learned. Fluid Intelligence is considered the most revealing test for success. If you get stuck and can’t switch roles, you cannot lead and become an Enterprise.

As an Entrepreneur, I agree with this predictive startup, IQ test.

As your Success and Entrepreneurial Coach, the foundation of my coaching practice is creating self-awareness and business consciousness. I have seen passion override natural ability; so go for it.

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Read case studies to build your Startup, IQ

As an, entrepreneur, you’ll be inundated with your business, needing to take care of it all the time. So when you  have some leisure time, you might be tempted to read fiction or books for entertainment.

Instead, I encourage you to read case studies. Read biographies of successful, entrepreneurs, who had a high startup, IQ. Read everything you can get your hands on about those who have already been successful.

There’s always something to learn from those who have already done it.

I especially think it’s important to learn from the mistakes of others. If you learn from their mistakes, you won’t have to make those mistakes yourself.

And if you do make mistakes yourself, definitely learn from those.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Take Baby steps to test your startup, IQ. 

Building a successful entrepreneurial business can seem daunting, and that’s OK. Building a business from the ground up is a massive undertaking.

Here is a foolproof tactic: Break it down.

Any problem that seems insurmountable, break it down into baby steps.

Once you’ve broken it down into baby steps, take them one at a time. Before you know it, just by placing one foot in front of the other, you’ll be halfway up the mountain.

With grit and perseverance, baby steps will get you far toward becoming a successful, entrepreneur.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Focus build your startup, IQ

The life of a successful, entrepreneur, can feel scattered and disjointed, but it’s important to limit your time spent multitasking.

Research has shown time and time again that multitasking doesn’t work. Humans aren’t capable of it.

And yes, multitasking includes being distracted by your phone and email tabs. Close them and put them away.

Learn to focus and take time to do just one task. Giving one task your full attention will mean that you’re more likely to get it done and do it well.

It’s also important to know that too many tasks on your to-do list can make you ineffective and distracted.

Learn to focus your to-do list on the tasks that you’re capable of finishing in the amount of time you’ve allotted for them.

For example, each night, set the three tasks that you’ll complete the following day. And each month, set the overarching goal for your company that you want to achieve in the next 30 days.

These techniques can help you to learn how to focus and more effectively manage your business, building your, IQ.

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/rich-wealthy-9010-rule/

Can you recognize your failure symptoms?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/neuroticism

How to Run Your Sales Meetings like a Coach

 

Running your, sales meetings, like a, coach,  we can take lessons from, Head Coach, Bill Belichick‘s.  His greatness comes from the fact that he builds his systems around the strengths and weaknesses of his roster and it led him to 4 Super Bowl Championships. This is good coaching in the purest form; playing to the strengths of one’s personnel.

It may not be something that often crosses your mind, but a football, coach,  and small business owners have a lot in common. Both professions require leadership, dedication, commitment and a strong work ethic in order to succeed.

There is an old saying about the strength of the wolf is the pack, and I think there is a lot of truth to that. On a football team, it’s not the strength of the individual players, but it is the strength of the unit and how they all function together.” — Bill Belichick

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

Just like football coaches, as a small business owner or a Sales Manager; you must take on many roles to ensure everybody is working together as a team to achieve important goals and for operations to run smoothly. Here are a few other ways football coaches and small business owners play a similar game.

Running your, sales meetings, life Pre-game

To prepare for a football game the, coach,  research opponents, develop game plans and determine the best lineup of players who will help the team win. Similarly, when starting a small business, sales managers, conduct market research to understand the competition and the key economic conditions and indicators. Entrepreneurs also build a business plan, which sets the strategic framework for the organization and maps out the path forward. In addition, small business owners find top talent who will help them execute the plan and beat the competition.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

How do you, coach, During the game

Over the course of a game, head coaches, make adjustments regularly, shifting tactics to put their team in position to score and win. They consult with the assistant, coach,  to get advice on what plays they should run. Entrepreneurs and Sales Managers also make strategic moves and adjust to constantly changing market forces and customer demands.

How does your, sales teams, handle Halftime


 A, coach, typically deliver inspiring halftime speeches that motivate players to give their all and function as a team. Entrepreneurs and, Sales Managers, should also motivate their employees by providing benefit programs and encouraging their career growth through coaching and motivational curriculum, that helps to strengthen their teams’ skills. Having a motivational speaker at your monthly or quarterly sales meetings also adds a charge to your team, similar to the Half Time inspirational speeches of great coaches.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

How do you, coach, the Post-game


Following a game, coaches review footage to analyze which plays and strategies did or did not work and what improvements the team can make to defeat the next opponent. At the end of each day or period of performance, entrepreneurs crunch numbers to determine how well the business performed and identify ways to boost profits, cut costs and improve customer service.

At your Monday Morning, sales meetings, Sales Managers,  should be doing the same thing. They should be analyzing which plays resulted in closed sales and which plays didn’t. They should develop strategies and best practices from reviewing the week’s plays. Only then can they become the Tom Brady of management. They will know the strengths and weaknesses of not only their team members but of the competition. They will know if the competition has a tendency to lead with price or service. They could then quarterback their team to run plays that would leave the competition behind or looking in the wrong direction.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

It’s still easy to make case for Belichick as the best.

Belichick’s Patriots are in the AFC championship game for the sixth consecutive season and the 11th time overall in his 17 seasons. If they beat the Steelers tonight and go on to win Super Bowl LI against Green Bay or Atlanta, they will win the championship for the fifth time under Belichick, which would break his tie with Noll for most Super Bowl wins as coach. Belichick’s 24 postseason wins are record and his 237 regular-season wins rank fourth all-time. His record with the Patriots is 201-71, staggering .739 winning percentage. His accomplishments and consistency are terrific, especially during the free agency era.

“His handprints, his fingerprints are over that whole team,” Ben Roethlisberger said last week. “They often out,coach, their opponent. That’s credit to him, mastermind or whatever you want to call him.

“When you’re playing defense like [New England’s], you have to be prepared for everything. You may not see the same defense twice. He’ll change things up. He’ll give you looks you’ve never seen before. He’ll do things that it doesn’t matter how much you study. That’s what makes him so good. He’s difficult to go against. You look at, arguably, the most well prepared quarterback to ever play the game, Peyton Manning. How many years did Belichick supposedly have his number?”

Manning lost seven of his first eight games against Belichick and finished his Hall of Fame-worthy career 8-12 against him. Roethlisberger, by the way, is 3-against Belichick.

get that people say Belichick didn’t become great coach until he went to New England and hooked up with Tom Brady to become the best coach-quarterback combination in NFL history. Belichick’s five-year record with the Cleveland Browns from 1991 – 95 was 36 44 with four losing seasons. No one was preparing his bust for Canton back then. 

Additional Resources

Who is the Team Player on Your Team? The 20/70/10 Rule

https://blog.myhelps.us/15-benefits-of-business-coaching/