15 Benefits of Hiring an Executive Coach

Life Coach Myrna Young

“The goal of the, executive coach, is the goal of good management and that is  to make the most of an organization’s valuable human resources.” –  Harvard Business Review Organizations that embrace the culture that their employees and leaders are their most valuable resources, invest in the development of these resources.

Life Coach Myrna Young
Life Coach Myrna Young

Introduction to, Executive Coaching

There are four commonly used tools for improving human performance: 

  • Coaching,
  • Consulting,
  • Training, and
  • Therapy

There are important differences between them. Just as it is important to know when to hire a consultant, it is equally important to know the when and why for using an, executive  coach.

Why hire a, Executive coach?

  1. You would like to improve Personal transformation
  2. To develop the future leaders in your organization
  3. Lead change to create high performing, results driven organizations
  4. Help managers learn how to be, coaches, to their employees
  5. Create an organizational culture that value learning, and  continuous improvement.

When should you  Hire an, Executive Coach

  1. You want to fine-tuning your vision for your business;
  2. You want to empower and motivate your staff;
  3. You want to improve the communication and listening skills of your managers and help them become more confident. It is one of the secrets to success. 
  4. You want your leaders and managers to gain competence in the soft skills domain.

 

Benefits of, Executive Coaching

Executives identified fifteen significant benefits of, executive coaching, as a leadership development tool. They are:

  1. Continuous one-on-one attention that facilitates growth
  2. Expanded thinking through dialogue and powerful questioning from a, Life coach.
  3. Self-awareness – including bringing light to blind spots.
  4. Personal accountability for development – An, executive coach, can hold you accountable for work you promised to do between sessions.
  5. Just-in-time learning.
  6. Sustained interpersonal skills development.
  7. Consistent, long-term development that gets embedded and becomes part of your routine.
  8. Identify executive strengths and development needs
  9. Leverage existing strengths and improve performance
  10. An, executive coach, can create an Executive Strategy with an Action Plan and  accountability to help executives stay on track
  11. Adopt and/or reinforce executive leadership competencies crucial to the organization’s culture.
  12. Positive and sustainable behavior changes
  13. Develop leadership skills and practices; learn coaching skills they can implement.
  14. Enhanced career planning and development with an action-oriented plan
  15. An, executive coach, can coach to  greater work/life balance.
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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Executives claimed expanded thinking through dialogue and powerful questioning from an, executive coach. Dialogue, fueled through powerful questions, is at the heart of the, executive coaching, process. In coaching conversations, executives think out loud, become more reflective and gain access to their own tacit knowledge and unexplored ideas. The, executive coach,  role is to act as a sounding board, confidant, partner, challenger and catalyst for change.

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Benefits of, Executive Coaching, – Case Study

Jack has excellent technical skills and has fast-tracked to a senior executive position. He was certain he was a good leader — that is, until his, executive coach, asked him questions about his team’s excitement and engagement levels. It became clear to the, executive coach, that Jack’s team was frustrated. Jack was furious and “insulted” and he vowed never to work with his, executive coach, again. Subsequently, Jack pondered his strong reaction. He realized his, executive coach, had hit a nerve. “That’s why I reacted like that, because it was true,” he says. Jack is still working with his, executive coach, and continues to learn and develop. He appreciates his, executive coach,  role in helping him gain self-awareness, which means understanding his strengths as well as his blind spots. “I don’t have these kinds of discussions with anybody else,” he says. “I am on such a straight path that I can’t see what’s going on. That’s where, executive coaching,  really helps me.” Jack now expects his, executive coach,  to hit a nerve from time to time. He sums it up this way: “The value to me is not for an, executive coach, to be really nice to me. I don’t need another friend. The value to me is having somebody to help me see what I can’t see.”

Executive Coaching,  acts as a mirror for Jack, providing him with honest feedback and revealing gaps so he can see himself more clearly, as well as help him to identify goals and promoting sustained action.

 

Executive Coaching and Personal Accountability for development

Some executives use sports metaphors to describe,  coaching.  Anne, a high Achiever, thinks of, coaching,  as a springboard for reaching her personal best at work. “Olympic medalists have, life coaches,” she says. “I want to be an Olympic medalist in business.” Anne regards her, coach, as her “personal trainer.” The common denominator in, executive coaching, and personal training is, accountability. You can learn proper techniques in a few training sessions at the gym, but it is easy to lose your way, by cutting corners, using improper techniques or missing workouts. Ongoing personal training creates momentum and accountability for development. The same is true for, executive coaching. As Anne says,

“Executive Coaching, provides an objective outside person to help you do assessments, set developmental plans and hold you accountable.”

Anne has invested heavily in her career, through education and hard work. She views, coaching, as another form of investment. She and her, coach, established developmental targets on day one. Now they have weekly meetings, either in person or on the telephone, to discuss her progress toward her targets and identify obstacles that are impeding her progress.  Through coaching, Anne holds herself accountable for her continued success. Her bottom line:

“Coaching gets me from where I am today to where I want to be”

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

 

Just-in-time learning

Executive coaching, facilitates what is called “just-in-time learning,” which is all about learning on the spot. Clients can practice and role play.  Jack told his, coach, that he wanted to “take a stand” in his next meeting, and that he wanted to come across as confident, self-assured and assertive. Coaching, provided Jack with a dress rehearsal. He used the session to develop a strategy for the meeting. He knew that thinking on his feet in front of a group of people was not one of his strengths, so he and his coach brainstormed potential questions. Jack prepared his answers and did some role playing. The next day Jack was outstanding. He called it “a powerful experience.” The, executive coaching session, had facilitated just-in-time learning.

 

How, Executive Coaching,  Helps the Organization:

  • Reduce turnover and retain top performing staff
  • Enhanced individual and organizational performance
  • Improved organizational strength
  • Perception of management as being committed to employees and their growth and success
  • Improved employee morale, more committed employees, thus greater productivity
  • Retention of high potential talent and talent magnet
  • Better client relationships
  • Positive work environment, thus greater productivity
  • Executives learn coaching techniques which they can implement with their teams for improved relationships and productivity, as well as enhanced employee development.
  • Enhanced organizational performance
  • Positively affect organizational culture
  • Succession planning and development of key executives
  • Reputation of investing in executives through development
  • Enhanced reputation within industry
  • Ability to recruit key talent
  • Positioned for continued growth and success
  • “Executive Coaching, is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance.”
  • “It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them. Clients say coaching brings out their best by helping them focus, break down tasks and clarify their values.” – Fortune Magazine
  • Improve the existing culture of the organization

Additional Resources

Ten Characteristics of a Great Leader

How to Run Your Sales Meetings like a Coach

How to Run Your Sales Meetings like a Coach

The Importance of Leadership to Organizational Success

 

Self love is the secret Out of the Snares of Child Abuse

Self Improvement Book: Out of the Snares

 

In her book ” Out of the Snares, Author Bernadette Trotman shares how, self love, can bring you out of the snares  of, poverty, addiction, child abuse and any other snare of the trapper.

The 9th Principle taught in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” is Love.
Love. This 4 letter word is so powerful! and, self love, is this love turned inside.
Love including, self love is  the most powerful force in the universe!
It can break the bonds of years, sometimes generations of, addictions, and, generational curses.

God’s Love for Humanity

God’s love, for humanity caused him to send his only begotten son Jesus to die for our sins so that we can have everlasting life.

A mother’s love, for her child gives her superhuman strength, to save her child from death or injury.

The love we have for our wife and husband keeps off stress and diseases when that love is active and healthy.
You see when we are in the throes of our love experiences, we look at the world through rose colored glasses.
Everything is sunny. We stop to smell the roses.
Our hearts beat faster when our loved ones are near.

We ride the energy waves of this spiritual connection and in turn we feel energized, we smile and laugh more and we don’t sweat the small stuff!

Research shows that this positive energy force cleanses our ethereal bodies and removes patches of stuck energies that can cause disease.

Get out of the Snares with Self Love

In my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement,
I share my encounters with love. These encounters have shaped my current world and allowed me to embrace love because I know from personal experiences how good it feels!

The energy of love combined with, sexual energy, is even more powerful!
When you transmute, sexual energy, for the person you love, you can create or imagine life changing books, companies and inventions that propel humanity forward!

But, it all starts with self-love.
Justin Bieber – Love Yourself (PURPOSE : The Movement)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyEuk8j8imI

You can’t give away what you don’t have.

In order for you to give love to another you must first have, self love, inside of you.
You have to love yourself, you have to love your world or the space you work and play in your world.

You have to love God, your creator.

When you have, self love, you gain, self confidence

Self-confidence is necessary for you to be successful in your career and in your business
Click the link below to hear a powerful story of how lack of self-confidence can ruin your world.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8J1ECHTnc64

Love doesn’t have to be the Notebook kind with grand gestures and sacrifice.
We love to watch movies like the Notebook about true love that never dies.
We are inspired by stories about Edward, Prince of Wales and Wallace Simpson and how he chose love over the throne; but most of us would settle for the simple acts of love.

This artist depicts these acts in her paintings so wonderfully and every couple should aspire to connect on this level.
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse coming up and giving them a hug while they are cooking in the kitchen?
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse watching chick flicks with them and enjoying it as much as they do?
• Who wouldn’t love going out for ice cream and licking each other ice cream cones and stealing a kiss?
• Who wouldn’t love just being in a room and just enjoying each other, laying on your husbands lap while you read a book?
• Who wouldn’t like coming home and seeing your husband with a apron on in the kitchen cooking dinner?

Who wouldn’t have, self love, after all this.

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Love shouldn’t be only for your spouse, children, family and friends. Love should be for all relationships in and out of the workplace, with customers, suppliers, everyone!

Giving love and compassion to the people you work with yields immense, self love.

In his book “How to win Business and Influence Friends” by Tim Sanders, Chief solutions Officer at Yahoo calls this BizLove from, self love.
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Is-Killer-App-Influence/dp/1400046831

This book shows how to be a LoveCat at work.

Here are 5 ways to be a LoveCat at work with, self love:

1. Greet everyone who walks into your office or room with eye contact and a smile.
2. Hug your close associates or people you have a personal relationship at work.
3. Replace the word Hate with the word, self love, whenever you can and watch it transform the energy.
4. Read lots of books and offer the knowledge gained from these books to your co-workers to help them with projects, initiatives or difficult personal situations.
5. Start a book club at work and have everybody share cliff notes from the books read.

All in all, self love, is like a boomerang, it always comes back so give it freely.

It is like seeds that blow in the wind. It does not always come back from the people we choose to love; but it always comes back

Check out my chapter on Love in my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE

If you are an author and would like to be featured in this Blog, radio and podcast

Click this link to order your interview

Author Interview, Transform your mind podcast
Author Interview

https://www.fiverr.com/share/d0DP2g

 

“Small Business, How to Mind your own business while working your day job”
Love yourself enough to start building your personal Brand.

Click here for more information

Small Business:How to Mind Your Own Business while Working your Day Job

Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job
Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job

Additional Resources

“About Myrna Young Life Coach”

 

How to love yourself

How Spiritual Awakening Can Solve Life’s Problems

spiritual awakening meditation

Spiritual Awakening, is like waking up from a dream.  When we live like we are sleeping, we are just numb to, consciousness.   Spirituality, or “of the spirit” are our thoughts. The concept of spiritual awakening, is that life isn’t random, there is a pattern and purpose to every existence.  Deepak Chopra calls this Synchro-destiny. Every moment is pre-destined, it is as it should be. The reason that challenges arise is simple are to make us more aware of our inner purpose and destiny.

Introduction to Spiritual Awakening

Why is life so difficult? It can be said that if you are not facing challenges, you are dead!

The bible says teaches “like fish caught in a net, problems show up unexpectedly.”

Somehow life manages to bring difficult problems, the causes of untold suffering and struggle. How you meet your challenges makes all the difference between the promise of success and, spiritual awakening, and the specter of failure. Successful people look at solutions while unsuccessful people only see the problem. Spiritual Awakening, can help solve internal struggles.

Eckhart Tolle says “we should live life accepting what comes our way;  not being too happy when good things happen to us and not being too sad when bad things happen to us.  Live in the now”.

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When your, awareness,  or,  spirituality, expands events that seemed random begin to arrange themselves in a pattern; you become aware of a larger purpose and notice these events are actually related to the greater whole. Just as our bodies operate in a state of Homeostasis; in a similar way events and coincidences are all connected and are part of God’s plan for your purpose. When you become, awakened,  your purpose (which is unique for each person) you become like an architect who has been handed a blueprint of his or her, spirituality.  Instead of laying bricks and fitting pipes at random, the architect can now proceed with confidence that he knows what the building should look like and how to construct it that’s, spiritual awakening.

The first step in this process is recognizing what level of, awareness,  you are working from right now. Every time a challenge comes your way, whether it is about relationships, work, personal transitions, or a crisis that demands action. It demands, spiritual awakening.

There are three levels of Spiritual Awakening.

Become aware of them, and you will take a huge step toward becoming a sorcerer and tapping into, spirituality.

 

Level 1: Contracted Awareness  or no Spirituality 

This is the level of the problem, and therefore it immediately grabs your attention. If all you see is the problem, then you need, spiritual awakening.  Something has gone wrong. Expectations have turned sour. You face obstacles that don’t want to move.  As resistance mounts, your situation still doesn’t improve because you are not tapping into your, spirituality.  If you examine the level of the problem, the following elements are generally present:

  • Your desires are thwarted. Something you want is meeting with opposition. You feel as if every step forward is a battle.
  • You keep doing more of what never worked in the first place.
  • There is an underlying anxiety and fear of failure.
  • Your mind isn’t clear. There is confusion and inner conflict.
  • As frustration mounts, your energy is depleted. You feel more and more exhausted because you need to wake up, you need, spiritual awakening.

You can tell if you are stuck at the level of contracted, spiritual awakening, by one simple test:

  • Do you feel like the more you struggle to get free of the problem, the more you are trapped in it? In addition the law of attraction states that what you think about you bring about. The end result is that you get on the wave of negative thoughts , your, spirituality,  that attract more of the same so not only does your problem not get resolved; but you attract more problems into your circumstance. Meditation, with  positive thoughts, smiling, prayer, repeating positive mantras or scriptures are ways to create positive energies and break the negative cycle and start you, spiritual awakening.
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Level 2: Expanded Awareness or Spiritual Awakening 

This is the level where solutions begin to appear. Your vision extends beyond the conflict, giving you more clarity. You are becoming one with your, spirituality.  For most people this level isn’t immediately available, because their first reaction to a crisis is to contract and feel the pain of the situation. They become defensive, wary, and fearful. But if you allow yourself to expand, you will find that the following elements enter your, awareness:

  • The need to struggle begins to diminish. You put the problem in God’s hands.
  • You start to let go. You stand on the principle that all roads lead to your destination
  • More people connect with you. You get council
  • You approach decisions with confidence.
  • You meet fear realistically (fear is perceived) and it starts to lessen.
  • With clearer vision, you no longer feel confused and conflicted.

You can tell that you have reached this level of, awareness, when you no longer feel stuck; a process has begun. With greater expansion, unseen forces come to your aid. You move forward according to what you desire from your life, your, awareness, and,  spirituality.

 

Level 3: Pure Spiritual Awakening  or Enlightenment

Pure, spiritual awakening, is when no problems exist. You have transcended suffering as Buddha did. Every challenge is a creative opportunity. You feel completely aligned with the forces of nature. You have aligned with your, spiritual awakening, and your, spirituality. What makes this possible is that, awareness, can expand without limits. Although it may seem that it takes long time to have true mastery of your mind and get on the, spiritual awakening, path to reach pure, awareness; the truth is exactly the opposite. At every moment pure, awareness, is in contact with you, sending creative impulses. All that matters is how open you are to the answers being presented. When you are fully open, the following elements will be present: There is no struggle.

  • You are present in the now. Your mind is not busy with noise about the past or anticipating the future.
  • Desires reach fulfillment spontaneously.
  • The next thing you want is the best thing that could happen to you. You are a benefit to yourself and your surroundings.
  • The outer world reflects what is happening in your inner world.
  • You feel completely safe. You are at home in the Universe.
  • You view yourself and the world with compassion and understanding.

To be completely established in pure, awareness, of,  spirituality, and, enlightenment, is the basis of, spirituality, a state of unity with everything in existence. Ultimately, every life is moving in that direction. Without attaining the final goal, you can tell that you are in contact with pure, awareness, if you feel truly yourself, in a state of peace and freedom.

Each of these levels brings its own kind of experience. This can be easily seen when there is a sharp contrast or a sudden change. Love at first sight takes a person without warning from contracted, awareness,  to expanded, awareness, and is a, spiritual, experience. Instead of relating in the normal social way, suddenly you see immense appeal, even perfection, in one other person. In creative work there is the “Aha!” experience. Instead of wrestling with a blocked imagination, suddenly the answer presents itself, fresh and new! No one doubts that such epiphanies exist. They can be life changing, as in the so- called peak experience, when reality is flooded with light and a revelation dawns. What people don’t see is that expanded, awareness, should be our normal state, not a moment of extraordinary difference.

Problems with, Spirituality

Listening to people tell their stories of problems, obstacles, failure, and frustration (an existence trapped in contracted, awareness, and,  spirituality, one sees that reaching a new vision is critical. It is all too easy to get lost in particulars. The difficulties of facing each challenge are often overwhelming. No matter how intensely you feel your situation, which has its own unique difficulties, if you look to the right and left, you will see others who are just as caught up in their situations. Strip away the details, and what remains is a general cause of suffering: lack of, awareness, that everything is impermanent. Unless you are shown how to expand your, awareness, you have no choice but to experience the state of contraction caused from pain and suffering.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

Just as the body flinches when faced with physical pain, the mind has a reflex that makes it draw back when faced with mental pain. Tony Robbins says that “people move away from pain and towards pleasure” Here again, a moment of sudden contrast makes it easy to experience what contraction feels like. Imagine yourself in any of the following situations:

  • You are a young mother who has taken your child to the playground. You chat for a moment with another mother, and when you turn around, you can’t see your child.
  • At work you are sitting at your computer when someone casually mentions that there are going to be layoffs, and by the way, the boss wants to see you.
  • You open your mailbox and find a letter from the Internal Revenue Service and you remembered that you do not have your receipts.
  • While driving you approach an intersection when, out of the blue, a car behind you swerves past your car and runs a red light.
  • You walk into a restaurant and see your spouse sitting with an attractive companion. They are leaning in toward each other, holding hands and talking in low voices.

It doesn’t take much imagination to feel the sudden change of, awareness,  that these situations provoke. Panic, anxiety, anger, and apprehension flood your mind; these are the result of brain changes as the lower brain takes precedent over the higher brain, triggering the release of adrenaline as part of an array of physical responses known as the stress response. Any feeling is both mental and physical. The brain gives a precise representation of what the mind is experiencing, drawing on infinite combinations of electro chemical signals coursing through one hundred billion neurons. A brain researcher can pinpoint with ever-increasing accuracy exactly those regions that produce such changes. What cannot be seen on an MRI is the mental event that incites all these changes, because the mind functions at the invisible level of awareness or consciousness. We can take these two terms as synonyms, but let’s explore them a little.

 

Business Problems created from lack of Spiritual Awakening

Spirituality, deals with your state of, awareness. It isn’t the same as medicine or psychotherapy. Medicine deals in the physical aspect where bodily changes occur. Psychotherapy deals with a specific difficulty, such as anxiety, depression, or actual mental illness. Spirituality, confronts, awareness, directly. It aims to produce higher consciousness. In our society this is seen as less real than the other ways of approaching problems. In times of trouble, people cope as best as they can with a swirling confusion of fear, anger, mood swings, and everyday struggle. It doesn’t even occur to them to pair the two words, spirituality, and solution in the same sentence; this points to a limited vision about what spirituality really is, and what it can do for you. We must incorporate our non-physical being with our physical body to solve everyday problems.

 

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reprogram-your-unconscious-mind/

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

 

 

 

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

How to Change Core Beliefs

 

Do you know that your, core beliefs, affect everything you do in life? Well it’s true.  What you believe is how you show up in every circumstance in your life.

Listen to full interview here: 

For example: Do you consistently find yourself in situations where men are trying to bully you or treat you less than you are worth? It may because of a, core belief, that started with how your father treated your mother or even you.

Introduction Core Beliefs 

Your, core belief, could be that you are a victim and that belief keeps you trapped in that story.

The thing about a, core belief, is that it cannot be easily changed.

Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:

“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in, core beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this, core belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.”

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

We all have existing, core beliefs, in four areas:

  • How we feel love,
  • our self-worth,
  • how we feel security, and
  • fulfillment.
  • Life after death. 

Your, core beliefs, can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one, like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness to help you achieve any goal. 

Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs 

A, positive core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:

  • I am loving and lovable.
  • I am worthy.
  • I am safe and trusting.
  • I am fulfilled and whole.

The bible teaches that for God to answer prayer you must first believe and have faith that God is first able and willing to give you the desires of your heart; but there are ways to improve the chances that God will answer your prayer. A prayer is a special kind of intention or, core belief.  Therefore, the rules that apply to the,  Power of intentions, which are rules about consciousness, apply.

Your prayer will be answered, or not, depending on events happening out of sight – but not out of mind. The mind furnishes the mechanics of making any intention come true. An intention or prayer request, sent to God needs faith to rocket it to the heavens. An intention to graduate at the top of your class or to marry the man of your dreams takes focus, diligence and action. The bible also teaches “Faith  Without Works Is Dead”.

Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief? 

If you have not found love even after several tries, then you have to look deeply at what you are doing to push love away.  Do you have a, core belief, that you are unlovable? How much pain is that belief causing you? It will take a lot of work; but you have to believe that God’s light shines in you and that you deserving of love and happiness.

Do you feel empty inside all the time even though you have all the outward symbols of success like a nice home, a loving husband, a good job, 2 kids and a dog? Then your, core belief, could be that you need to make a contribution to the world like Mother Theresa or like Nelson Mandela to feel fulfilled. You have to change that, core belief, that maybe your purpose is to support your children and help them to fulfill their purpose in the world.  Sometimes our role in God’s kingdom is not to change the world but to change one person!

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Here is A Self-Awareness Exercise to help you understand Your, Core Beliefs,

Look upon what’s happening now in your life as a reflection of your, core beliefs.

Are there any patterns you see? For example:

  • Do all your relationships fail?
  • Are you in constant debt?
  • Do you find it hard to keep friends?

Listen to yourself. Once you figure it out, then turn it around. Ask yourself:

  • What do I want?
  • What would I have to believe in order to have this?

Next, you’re going to re-program yourself.

You may need the help of a coach like, Myrna Young, or mentor but; self-awareness is the key to changing your, core beliefs,

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iHeart Radio

As Tony Robbins says, you must associate tremendous pleasure to your new, core belief,  For example. See yourself in a loving and fulfilling relationship, going on dream vacations and having a wonderful life together and believe that you are a woman any man can love!

Additional resources:

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/challenging-automatic-thoughts-positive-thoughts-worksheets/

Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept

Self-concept refers to how one perceives themselves, their past experiences, their abilities, their prospects for the future, and any other aspect of the self. Aaron Beck’s cognitive triad, discussed below, deals with self-concept and the construction of the self. The basic idea of how our self-concepts and cognitive biases affect our lives has to do with automatic thoughts.

For example, someone with a negative “self-referential schema” is more likely to take things personally, leading to automatic thoughts like “People are not talking to me because I am an unlikable person”, rather than exploring other possibilities (Disner et al., 2017). A negative self-referential schema can also lead to increased severity of depression symptoms. Most importantly, a negative self-concept can lead to an unending cycle of negative thoughts.

This is because people with negative self-referential schemas exhibit an attentional bias. For example, when asked to decide whether an adjective is self-referential or not, people with depression are more likely to endorse negative adjectives than healthy controls, and they show an attentional bias by being quicker to endorse negative adjectives and quicker to reject positive adjectives than healthy controls (Disner et al., 2017). In turn, being likelier to endorse negative adjectives is correlated with longer “retrospectively reported” depressive episodes, demonstrating the cycle of negativity.

Is the Secret to Love, Sex?

How to Find Hardcore Happiness

Is the secret to, Love, Sex? This week on Mindset Transformation Radio Podcast, I interview, Love Coach, James Green. James answers the question “Is, Sex, the most important factor in a relationship?

So, let me ask you. What do you think is the most important factor in a relationship? In my research for this interview. I found this article
on the secret to a long marriage. Hint it was not, Sex!

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Secret to a long Marriage not, sex 

 

But in all seriousness. We have heard the phrase ” A Happy wife a happy life”
Here is another article about a couple married 79 years.

“Just want you to know that you’re still the one I would choose. Still the one I give my heart to, still the one I love.”

So, what’s their secret?

“To support one another, whatever the problems may be, good or bad. Stick together. That’s about it,” Bertha said.

“You know why this lasted 79 years? She has the last word,” Dan added with a smile.

Let me introduce my guest this week:

James is a certified Love and Emotional Intelligence coach. His mission is to teach people how to love themselves as well as love each other. James specialty is Relationship and Personal Development Coaching.

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Show notes Secret to Love 

1. Question 1: Tell us of your journey to become a Love and emotional Intelligence coach. Do you have a personal story that made you specialize in this field?

I was a single parent and realized that when looking for a mate, I had to look for someone who would fit into my lifestyle as a single father. The woman had to accept me and my son as a package deal. That made me look at factors other than, Sex.

As far as my journey to becoming a Love and Emotional intelligence coach, I found I had the aptitude to reach people. People opened up to me. I remember once standing in the line at McDonald’s and this man in line started talking to me telling me his story. I decided to get my certification as a, Life Coach
2. Question 2: How does emotional intelligence fit into the relationship dynamics?
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to hear what your partner is not saying. It is the ability to realize that when your partner says Fine, I am okay with that. for example. She is not fine with that, from her tonality or her body language.
Another facet of emotional intelligence is the ability to keep your cool and not fly off the handle at the slightest provocation.

3. Question 3: What problems do find are the most common and how do you coach your clients to solve them?
I find Trust, Communication and the inability to seek out coaching until after they start experiencing problems.

Couples tend to think that coaching is not needed until there is a huge problem in their relationship and when I hear that I ask them do you also see a doctor AFTER you have Cancer?

4. Question 4: If you had a magic wand to solve common relationship problems, what would you solve?

If I had a magic wand to solve relationship problems, I would solve trust. Lack of trust is one of the most destructive elements in a relationship.

5. Question 5: When you say that relationship is not a 3-letter word, what do you mean?
The topic of our show today “Is the secret to love, Sex?”
Couples would have us believe that great sex keeps the relationship going or strong.
While sex is very important in a relationship it is not the most important factor.
I believe that communication is the most important factor.
Click the podcast link to hear from James directly as he answers this question.

6. Question 6: Why would you say that couples do not proactively seek relationship coaching and wait until there is a problem to get counselling?
Culture, conditioning. Women go to get an annual checkup every year. They get a PAP test to proactively check for any cervical problems. But this same woman would not think of going to a relationship coach to proactively check to see if her relationship is in danger of abnormal growth!

For the men I use the analogy of the oil change because men hate going to the doctor for an annual check up. But they do change their oil every 3 to 5 months. ( I had a laugh at this one. I asked James if he was suggesting men change their wife’s, as often as they change the oil in their cars?)
He assured me he was not saying that but letting the men know that just like the car engine their relationships need regular maintenance.

Tony Robbins also has lots of empowerment advice for couples.
Click the link below to understand how to create better relationships from Tony Robbins


If you found this episode inspirational be sure to subscribe to my podcast and I would also appreciate a rate and review.

You can also follow me on my Facebook page

If you are empowered to become a member of the Human Potential Movement and would like to be a guest on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast contact me.

Additional Resources

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

 

How to Fly like an Eagle above the Storms of Life

fly like an eagle

Eagles, love the storm. When clouds gather, the Eagle, get excited. The Eagle, uses the, winds of the  storm,  to lift it higher. We can also learn to, fly like an eagle, above the, storms of life.

Did you suffer from Childhood sexual abuse or sexual harassment as an adult? Today on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast, I share my journey from being sexually abused as a child and how I used the, storms of life,  to, fly like an, eagle in a storm. I teach how you too can use the winds from the, storms of life,  to elevate your life to greater heights.

In this blog, we will study the, Eagle, and how the, Eagle, looks forward to the storm, because the, eagle, knows that only by using the, winds of the storm, can she elevate to greater heights. Eagles in a storm, fly above the storm. Without the, storm, she can never fly above the clouds. Similarly, in life we need challenges, hurts and disappointments to get us out of our comfort zones and teach us to fly like,  eagles in a storm.  Without the, storms of life, we would become complacent.

Introduction 

Here are some characteristics of the, Eagle:

How to, fly like an Eagle, above the, storms of life 

The crow that picks and picks at the ground, can’t rise to the heights of the eagle or is not conditioned to rise about the ground. It’s mindset is to stay on the ground and peck for food.

The, Eagle, does not escape the, storm. It simply uses the, storm, to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the, storm.

When the, storms of life, come upon us — and all of us will experience them — we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God and fly above the, storms of life,  like an eagle, or we can be like the crow and peck and peck on the ground.

The, storms of life, do not have to overcome us. We can allow power of, Jesus Christ, to lift us above thw, winds of the storm. Jesus Christ,  enables us to ride the,  winds of the storm, that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the, storm.

Eagles, in the, Storm

1. Eagles, fly alone at high altitude and not with sparrows or with other small birds. No other bird can go to the height of the, Eagle. We can, fly like an eagle, where no others go.
2. Eagles, have strong vision. They have the ability to focus on something up to five kilometers away. When an, Eagle, sites his prey, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it. No matter the obstacle, the, Eagle, will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it. We can have vision like an, Eagle, and have focus on our goals.
3. Eagles in the storm, When clouds gather the, Eagle, get excited. The, Eagle, uses the, winds of the  storm,  to lift it higher. Once it finds the, winds of the storm, the Eagle uses the raging, storm, to lift him above the clouds. This gives the, Eagle, an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the leafs and branches of the trees. We can use the, storms of life,  to rise to greater heights. Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.

Storms, bring destruction

I meditated on the reason for the hurricanes that caused so much destruction to homes and property in the Caribbean islands, Houston, TX and Florida. I believe that God does not make mistakes, that everything in the Universe has a purpose. So, I asked myself what is the purpose of the, storm?

My initial response from the Universe was that, storms, are created with the purpose to blow down the old and make room for the new, because everything is recycled on this earth. But I felt there was more so that is why I decided to study the, Eagle. As mentioned before. The ,Eagle, uses the, storm, to elevate him higher. He can’t fly to great heights without the winds of the storm.

What if God created the, storm, to elevate his people?

The, storm, does not only blow down old trees, it blows down old houses as well, it blows down old power posts and power lines. So, in actuality we should be like the eagle and anxiously await the storm to see what old thing will be renewed.

It works for old relationships as well. There is something immensely intimate about riding out the, storm, with your loved one. Just you and your close family members. All the attention is on each other. No television, no lights just the personal connection and candle light!

I have always loved, storms. I remember the first, storm, that me and my husband rode out together. We were only dating for about 3 months. I loved the rain on the roof, the sounds of the winds rustling the roof, the sight of the palm trees blowing in the winds and being wrapped up in his arms. I think we came out of that experience closer than we went in. That is a time to really talk and share! Get to know each other.

The other thing the, storm, to the Caribbean Islands brings is new things to replace the old. If you had an old roof and the wind blew if off, guess what FEMA will give you a new one. If your pool screens were old and the wind just ripped them apart more then guess what you get new screens at no cost to you. If your old car was on its last leg, then you could park it under a tree and pray the tree falls on it! You get my point.

How you experience anything depends on how you interpret it. Change your mindset that the, storm, comes to take from you and replace it with the winds of the storm brings change. Changing out the old for the new.

Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, in the, storm, and you will not sink

But I still think there is more!
The bible teaches us to keep our eyes on, Jesus Christ, when we are in the, storm.
There was a time when Jesus had sent his disciples to go on before him while he stayed in the mountain to pray (Matthew 14:23).
While they were in the boat there came a, storm, “and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.”- Matthew 14:24

Seeing the distress his disciples were in, Jesus Christ, went to them, walking on water. When Peter saw, Jesus Cjrist, he asked him to allow him to come to him, by walking on the water. Peter started to walk on with his faith however, when Peter reached at a certain distance he got distracted, and when he got distracted by the boisterous wind he became afraid and started to sink.

“But when [Peter] saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” (Matthew 14:30 NIV)

Many of us are like Peter, we started our journey with the Lord and even though the, storms of life, come our, faith, allows us to overcome these trials, you could say to ‘walk on water’. But along the way we get distracted especially when we think the situation has gone on for too long, or we come upon big, storm. I am using the, storm, here as a metaphor for trouble. It was easy to trust God when our trials were little; but what happens when the situations seem bigger than we are able to handle? What happens when we have a category 4 storm? Do we let fear in? Or do we anticipate it with the mindset that it will elevate us to new heights?

Focusing on what’s happening around us will cause us to be afraid; afraid of losing our family, losing our jobs, our homes, or being broke and not having enough to take care of our needs. We start worrying about what is going to happen next and very soon we start to sink.

The,  storm, also bring with it floods. The water could be more dangerous than the winds.
With Irma, I was going to ride out the, storm, in my home because my house is built to withstand the winds; but as soon as they started talking about 10-15 ft. storm surges. I called my husband and said we are leaving now! I was afraid of my car being under water and I pictured me on the roof waiting to be rescued. So, I understand fear!

Joel Osteen had a message about flood waters he used the analogy of your water breaking during childbirth. That flood there signals new birth as is regarded with excitement. He also reminded us that we never know when that flood is going come. His wife Victoria water broke when she was in an elevator going somewhere that was not the hospital! It is all about perception. Ask yourself what is the good that can come out of the house and car being flooded? You get new ones of course ! Usually the insurance pays!

Here are five things God wants you to do if you feel like you’re sinking in a, storm.

1. Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, and stay focus.
The moment you take your eyes off the Lord, you will go under. When you focus on the wind and the waves — your circumstances — you’re going to sink, just like Peter. There will be many things happening in the world to get you distracted. Economies going under, crime and violence on the rise, people losing their jobs, accidents on the rise and so forth. These things will get you distress. Jesus Christ,  tells us that when we see these things happening, that is not the time to get sidetracked, but it is the time to look up (Luke 21:28.)

2. Do not be fearful, Jesus is with you in the, storm.
When you’re in a, storm, it is very easy to become fearful, fearful that you will not get rid of a sickness, fearful that your marriage will end, fearful that your child will die, fearful that you will not be able to pay off your debts or bills and still have enough money to survive. But when fear comes, and it will come, take authority over it and stand on the promises of God that he will always be with you. Fear comes with torment and that’s why Jesus gives us peace (John 14:27). Peace that will help you to ride out your storms.

3. Don’t let go of, faith.
Faith, is like our heavenly currency that we use to draw what we need from the spiritual realm. When you maintain your faith you will receive strength to weather the, storms of life.

4. Don’t doubt.
You don’t need great, faith, to make it through the, storms of life. You just need faith in the right person, that is, Jesus Christ. Peter started to sink when he started to doubt.

Maybe you could benefit from a Training Kit that teaches you how to Maximize your achievement and Fly above the storms. Click below to order The Maximum Achievement Training Kit from best selling author Brian Tracy.

 

5. Praise God.
Praise is a weapon, a very powerful one. It confuses the enemy as he cannot understand how you able facing your storms but will have a praise. When Jehoshaphat was facing a large army, he did not use swords to fight his battle, he just praised God and his enemies were totally destroyed. Even in the storm, even when you feel like you’re sinking, even when you’re scared to death — praise him all the time.

Additional Resources

Life Leadership & Success

https://blog.myhelps.us/principle-2-the-events-in-your-life-whether-good-or-bad-work-together-for-good/

 

 

How to Use Meditations to Activate the Law of Attraction Money

Using Meditation Law of Attraction Money

As I did all these different, meditations, what happened to me was I was able to release out of my body and mind, all this inner turmoil and activate the, law of attraction money. I found my creativity, love and the wisdom that we all have within us. It was hugely successful to say the least that I found those, meditations.~Pragito Dove

Listen to the full interview here: 

Myrna – Tell us your journey to becoming an author, hypnotherapist and coach?

  • Pragito Dove is an internationally recognized Author, Hypnotherapist, Coach and Speaker with over 20 years’ experience.  Pragito helps entrepreneurs, leaders, and CEO’s align their mindset to allow more peace, time and financial freedom. She shows you how to change your money blueprint, recondition your mind for automatic abundance, and use Spiritual Laws of Attraction to create real world success.

Pragito – It didn’t start off so great. I could tell you I had a very challenging childhood. I had a cruel mother and my father didn’t protect me. I just adored my father; but he was not in his power. He didn’t stand up for himself and didn’t stand up for me, so basically I got trodden all over by my mother. I was actually terrified of her; so what I did to cope was to shut down my heart and live in my head.

I had a lot of fear, I had a lot of anger and pain in my heart. I realized even as a young child that I was just going to have to sort of stick it out so to speak until I got old enough to do something about it.

In my early 20s, I heard about this Zen master called Osho in India. He had a wide range of, meditation techniques, including expressive, meditation. I started doing these, meditations, because I really needed to release all those turbulent emotions that I’d stuffed down; because they were clearly not helping me attract the life I wanted.

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There are several, Meditation Techniques

I travelled to India with my son was 14 months old and studied with Osho. Let me tell you, they worked.

  • There was a laughter, meditation to activate the, law of attraction money
  • A fearless, meditation, for crying and releasing
  • There was a dancing, meditation, for joy
  • A gibberish, meditation, to just get out all the junk
  • Also a dynamic, meditation, great for dumping out anger and
  • A humming, meditation.

As I did all these different, meditations, what happened to me was I was able to release out of my body mind, all this inner turmoil and found inner peace. I found my creativity, love and the wisdom that we all have within us. It was hugely successful to say the least that I found those, meditations.

Myrna – How many years did that take you to release all the hurt?

Pragito – Well, it was a process.

It was just an unbelievable transformation that happened to me. I saw how it was possible for me, so I trained to teach all these, meditations, to others as well.  I realized I could create a business and help others use the, law of attraction money, and that’s become my mission.

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Hypnotherapy vs Meditation

Myrna – What exactly is, hypnotherapy, and how is it different from, meditation?

Pragito – Well, what I do with the, hypnotherapy, is I take people on a guided journey deep into their subconscious mind (because that is where the solutions to the problem lay).

Now, if we take, money, let’s say someone is always broke or use his/her credit cards and pay off the credit card; but then goes back in the same cycle. That was me actually. I would pay off the credit card and then it’d be back on the credit cards again. Always getting to the same place like an inner ceiling and not being able to get past that.

What we can do in the, hypnotherapy, session  is go to the root of the problem and find out what is going on with their, law of attraction money, what they  learned about, money as a child.

Myrna – My last interview, we discussed, money blocks. I don’t want to do too much into that because I had a whole episode on, money blocks; but would that be considered another, money block, or is there a different word for this particular blueprint like, law of attraction money?

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Using Hypnotherapy to remove Money Blocks

Pragito – The, money block, is what’s blocking you. The blueprint is your beliefs and what’s guiding you. Like a blueprint for a construction project,   you’re told this is the way life is and you believe it because that’s what you’re told.

I have to tell you something very interesting. I’ve been doing, hypnotherapy, for over 23 years. It’s not about, making money, at all. It’s about love. It’s about deserving,  a lot of us believe I am not deserving, I am not worthy. Another way, ‘I’m not enough, I don’t deserve wealth.

Myrna – I agree, Michelle Obama in her book – “Becoming”,  talked about not being enough  a lot. Even when she was first lady and even when she was a lawyer and successful; because she started off in the poor parts of Chicago,  she felt she wasn’t enough and she felt that she didn’t deserve it.

As a hypnotherapist, what kind of work do you do to remove that, money block, blueprint and activate the, law of attraction money?

How to Accelerate Your Soul Journey: Clear these Money Blocks

Pragito – Your, money, blueprint is sometimes formed in the womb! The child can learn that the mother doesn’t want it or maybe the father doesn’t want it, because it’s all energy. We’re all transmitting energy all the time and then the child arrives.  So I take my clients into a more relaxed state; but not going out.  They’re still present and I ask the wisdom of their body, the wisdom of their heart and their higher self to bring forward for us the, money block.

Pragito – The good thing about, hypnotherapy, is because you’re working at the root, when we’ve healed everything, it never ever comes back.

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How does the, Law of Attraction Money, work

Myrna – Why is it important for an entrepreneur to understand how the,  Law of Attraction money, works and to invest in themselves? Do they have to start by being in a, hypnotherapy, session for them to understand their, money,  blueprint?

Pragito – Well it’s just that the, hypnotherapy, can help to make it all go quicker. That’s what the, hypnotherapy, can help with; but the place to start is with the awareness. It’s a three-step process.

  1. The first step is “Ask for what you want”. However, you have to be clear, you need clarity on what you want.
  2. Then you have to focus on what you want and activate the, law of attraction money. You have to focus on it and let people know you want it. Get pictures of what you want. One tip I give is, Do not ask for, money, because the universe doesn’t really understand what you mean by, money. Do you want a bag of, money, to fall on your head one day? Is that what you want? It’s much more powerful to ask what you want the, money, to buy. For instance,  I want a Lexus car or I want to go on a cruise.
  3. Step 3 is “allowing” This is the most difficult step and it’s a step where most people fall down. You have to allow what you want to come to you. This is where the, meditation, is helpful. One of the, meditation techniques I teach with, meditation, is learning to witness the mind. You learn to misidentify from the mind, because the thoughts of the mind actually are not real. They are like shadows, like when you walk down the street on a sunny day and you can see your shadow, that’s what thoughts are. They’re like shadows, they are not real and they’re often not true. The mind says things like “you can never have a Lexus, you’re broke.”
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What you learn to do with the, meditation, work is to observe, witness or watch the mind.  Learning to misidentify from it so that you don’t get caught up in believing what the mind is saying and you can just relax and say “thank you mind,” and  just let the thoughts pass-by.

Those are the five magic words for the mind. Let the mind pass-by, just let it pass-by.

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Myrna – That reminded me I used to work with automatic negative thoughts and when I would hear the mind telling me something, I would talk back to it, because it keeps repeating all the time and then you talk back to it – I would say you better stop.

Pragito – Yes that’s good, that’s right. You better cut that out.

Good Vibes activate the, Law of Attraction Money

If we look at the, Law of Attraction money, on a scale of one to ten, one being our most negative vibes and ten being our most positive vibe,  All the, law of attraction money, does is it matches. It’s a one trick pony, that’s all. It doesn’t care who you are or what you want. If you’re some famous Hollywood actor or a rickshaw driver in Calcutta, it doesn’t care.

All it does is match your energy. We really need to pay attention to our emotional state which is in the subconscious. With 95% of our thoughts being in the subconscious, if we transmit anger, guess what we get back, anger. If we’re transmitting fear, that’s what we get back. So we have to pay attention to our vibes. Our only job is to keep our vibes positive.

There are many ways to do that and one of my favorite ways is the laughter, meditation. Well I do that a lot. That’s good and fantastic, because laughter really helps to keep your high vibes and then you’re in your positive energy which is the, law of attraction money, state. At this point, your possibility of attracting, money,  is very high.

Whereas when you’re in a negative state, of course it becomes very low. The most important thing is to be aware of your emotional state. We want to be aware of the thoughts of the mind; but that’s only about five percent of it. It’s the emotional state that is the most powerful and so here’s another tip if you really want something and you need, money, to buy.

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How to Ask for the, Money, you want

Let’s say you’ve got this really dinged up old car to take your kids to school and you need a decent car. So you say to the universe “look I really need a good car and you say it with a lot of emotion and with a lot of energy.  “I really need a really good car”. Your chances of getting what you want go up astronomically when you put emotion behind it.

But if you just say “well I’d like to have a Lexus,  it’s on  my list but I don’t care. There’s no real emotion behind it, then you’re not going to get a Lexus. You might still attract it, but you won’t get it as quickly as someone who’s very passionate about what they want and puts a lot of feeling into asking for it.

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Meditation, for Peace, Prosperity and Passion

Myrna – Let’s talk about your book now. Your book is called “Lunchtime Enlightenment: Expressive Meditations for Manifesting Peace, Prosperity and Passion.” Now, tell us about your book. Is it working under the same foundations that we’re talking about? We started with, meditation, and, hypnotherapy, then talked about the, law of attraction money, and prosperity.

Pragito – The, meditations, are for manifesting peace, prosperity and passion. Meditation, is being in the present moment and, meditation techniques, are important. The, meditation techniques, are there to help us and remind us to be in the present moment. Why do we want to be in the present moment? Because first of all we’re aware of our feeling state, the feelings are always in the present moment and when we have that present moment awareness, we have the power of choice.

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We can choose.  If we find our vibes are down, then we could say, I need to watch a funny video or comedy’.  ‘I need to get my vibes up right now, etc. That awareness gives you that choice. Let’s say for example we feel really angry towards somebody, so it’s not a good idea to talk to somebody when you’re angry or when you feel angry with them.

In the book, I give suggestions for what you can do when you feel angry. There are two techniques in particular where you can dump your anger out in the sacred context of a, meditation technique, in the first stage.  Then in the second stage, you sit in silence and you find it much easier to sit in silence when you’ve let the lid off the pressure cooker. So, to speak and get rid of a lot of emotional turmoil, it’s very easy to drop down. You will find inner peace in calm, your inner wisdom, love, creativity and all these good things.

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Meditation Techniques,  to Calm Anger

From that place you can decide what to do about this irritating person that’s annoyed you. Do you need to talk to them? If you do need to talk to them, then you talk to them from that place of peace and calm, because that will help them become calm and peaceful; because normally they would be reacting to your energy. Then, the whole thing is just a big mess; but when you take responsibility that you feel angry and that it’s not going to help to either dump your anger on somebody else or stuff it down. You do the, meditation technique, you’re nice, calm and very likely to come up with a creative way to handle the situation.

That is perfect for marriages because a lot of people in intimate relationships blow up and it doesn’t ever go anywhere.

Myrna – Tell our listening audience how they can get a copy of your book. Also, tell them how they can reach you to do any of your, hypnotherapy, sessions coaching and things like that because I’m pretty sure you get results.

Pragito – The book is on Amazon. Actually this book was just released in August and it’s already a number one bestseller.

Myrna – Good for you, congratulations.

Pragito – Thank you. To find me, you go to my website www.discovermeditation.com/contact you can sign up for my laughing Buddhist Network newsletter and you get two free Gifts.

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How to Clear Your Money Blocks and Build Wealth

How to remove money blocks

Money blocks, are negative subconscious beliefs about, money, that limit you from achieving your conscious desires. Hilary Hendershott, wealth coach talks today on the Transform Your Mind Radio and Podcast on the topic  “How to remove your, money blocks,  and, build wealth.” Hilary was once $600,000 in depth and now has a seven figure net worth

Listen to the full interview here:

Hilary – I found myself in my late 20s with multiple credit cards and  tens of  thousands of credit card debt, plus I had a $420,000 in mortgage debt on a condo.  In 2008 that  condo in San Jose California went from $430,000 in appraised value to just $190,000.  I had massive uncollateralized debt, $72,000 in tuition debt and I was the kind of person who would spend money before it came in!  I was a massive over spender.

Back then I had never heard the term, Money Blocks. Today as a coach and operating from my own, money blocks, I understand that I was an over spender because I had, money blocks.  

The definition of, Money Blocks

The definition  Money blocks: negative subconscious beliefs about, money, that limit you from achieving your conscious desires. Let’s say you’re trying to save, money, but, for whatever reason, you can’t seem to do it. You spend, money, almost as soon as you get it, and you don’t know why.

Hilary – I started gaining clarity on my, money blocks, the  day I pulled my leased BMW into the gas station and I put my credit card into the machine to get gas, and my credit card was declined. I tried another card, it was declined, I put the third card it was also declined. At that point, all my credit cards are maxed out and  no one would give me any more credit cards.

My bank accounts were empty and had already emptied out my 401k. I had spent all this good money chasing after bad  while trying to dig myself out of this hole; because as my income was declining in 2008, and my debt was increasing.  So I literally couldn’t even put a tank of gas in my beautiful convertible BMW that day.

How I became an expert on clearing, money blocks

Hilary – I decided to become an expert on, money, psychology. I really made a decision that day and I said “I‘m not willing to live like this anymore”. I understood from the beginning that our, money blocks,  are as much a function of linguistics,  the words that we use to describe, money, than it is about our upbringing.  

So, when I said “there’s never enough money” I was speaking it into the atmosphere. That became a self fulfilling  prophesy.  There’s never enough money was my, money operating system. I trademarked this term, Money Operating System.  Just like your computer has an operating system, we all have a, money operating system.  That is sort of another way  of saying, money blocks. 

How, money blocks, are formed

As a child we hear adult say: 
  • money, doesn’t grow on trees,
  • you have to work hard for, money
  • money, is the root of all evil
  • Money, is evil and rich people are greedy.
  • I wonder who she had to screw to get that job.
  • You see your parents fight about, money, all the time.

 Whatever it is, everyone will have a different set of, money blocks; because not everyone has the same, money operating system.  

I was in financial planning and trying to, build wealth through real estate, so I was making, money. I actually had a six figure income; but spent more than I earned. 

How do you manifest there’s never enough, money, when you have a six figure income?

There was one year  I earned $120,000 in income and I spent $150,000.   I attended a talk at a Financial Planner Conference and this woman, who is now a personal friend of mine,  talked about, money blocks, and,  money, psychology.  She used the term over spender”. I had never heard about, money blocks,  before that talk. Being an over-spender is one way to manifest, there is never enough money. 

Another way you can manifest, there’s never enough money, is by being an, under earner. There are some of you listening to this podcast; you just can’t seem to earn what you know you’re worth in the marketplace. You are actually sabotaging yourself

  • You deliberately pick the jobs that are under earning.  
  • You under promote yourself,
  • You don’t ask for raises,
  • You get contract gigs and spend six months unemployed.
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Hilary – To make a long story short, I put what I learned into practice I paid off all my debt and then  I got really honest and transparent about where I was financially.

I lived in my mother’s guest room for a while to make it happen. I lost that condo and I paid off the debt. I started putting my money where my mouth was in terms of building my business.  I now run a registered investment advisory firm. We are all women, owned and operated.  

My business earns about a million dollars a year. My husband and I just share the numbers; because I want to normalize people talking about, money. My husband and I have a house in Silicon Valley that’s worth two million dollars and if you put together all of our other investments, we’re definitely what you would call financially independent. We have, financial freedom. 

Build Wealth, by having your, money, work for you.

Now we have, money, work for us; but it’s a skill set that I didn’t always have. I have found out that my purpose on this planet is to coach people, especially entrepreneurs. For those people who run businesses, the sky is the limit for them to remove their, money blocks, wherever they may be. 

I figured it out. I sort of put myself in, money, boot camp. I didn’t buy a cup of coffee in a coffee shop for two years. When I was in boot camp, I got very conscious about what I was saying about, money.  I now use linguistics as the foundation of my coaching.  Anyone I coach, the first thing we do is remove  I can’t afford that.” from our vocabulary. 

Those words are not allowed to come out of your mouth. You either say “Oh great, let me see how I can work that out or  “I‘m going to put that in my spending plan.”

Myrna – That’s awesome. Your language about, money,  is very powerful. Let’s talk about, money mindset block.   My audience on the radio are mostly African American and  sometimes they are in the poverty space.  Our community  is predisposed  to over spending.  We want the nice things, we want the designer shoes and bags.

I was talking to a guy one day, he was wearing nice running shoes and he said they were Kanye West shoes and cost $400. I couldn’t help thinking  what was his, money mindset, to spend $400 on Kanye West running shoes? 

What is a, Money Mindset Block

Myrna – What exactly is a, money mindset block, and how does that show itself for somebody that’s looking at their spouse and saying maybe they have a, money mindset block?

Hilary – First of all, the idea of the, money operating system, is the lead, money block. For me it was there’s never enough money and so all my, money blocks, are going to harmonize with that particular lead, money block. For example, let me just say each individual is different and I don’t mean to answer questions for someone who isn’t even here;  but let’s take the example of the person who spent $400 on Kanye West running shoes and maybe can’t pay rent, so there’s an imbalance there.

If you ask that person why he spent $400 on running shoes, he might say:

  •  I need to have this to be socially accepted,
  • I need these shoes so that people can think I‘m wealthy,
  • I need to have these shoes,  so that people can think I‘m powerful. 

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Then you would ask the question.

  • Well, do you have those things?
  • What do people think about you?
  • Have you achieved this goal?
  • Is that desire fulfilled for you?

And if you really look, it’s probably not because we need another pair of shoes or another designer bag or any other another brand name to become socially acceptable.  It’s an infallible hole that you can’t fill with designer shoes. Instead, if you can reposition in your mind,  if you’re really tired of your, money, going the way that it’s going, if you’re sort of fed up and a little bit disgusted with the fact that you know you’re a smart capable educated, well-intentioned person and money isn’t working for you in your life, that is how you clear a, money mindset block. 

What are your 7 steps to,  build wealth?

Myrna – You have 7 steps to, wealth, is that how you coach someone that maybe have an overspending problem or they have a, money mindset block, problem or their, money operating system, is not working properly? 

Step 1- Permission: All effective coaching starts with permission. The first step is to decide you have, money blocks,  to make the decision that you’re ready for change.  There’s no denying that you’re giving up the Kanye West shoes and the brand name bags and other creature comforts. A lot of people who make financial transformation to, build wealth, find that they have to move.

They actually need a lower cost place to live; they need to give up the beautiful leased car so they can pay cash for a car and don’t have monthly payments.  You are lowering your standard of living in the beginning and that takes courage. It takes willingness to sacrifice, so after you’ve made a decision then we catalog your vocabulary about money, this is really important.

Step 2–  Your money vocabulary –  no one ever wants to talk about, money.  You need to talk about money, to find out what your friend is doing; what’s working, what’s not working. You can provide advice or ask for advice if you want. What do you say to yourself about, money? Maybe some people think in pictures about, money, or maybe it’s just an emotion.  You think about spending, money, and you get excited; you think about saving, money,  and you get sad.

I have my participants that I coach,  actually spend a month doing a, money, conversation log. What do you say to your partner about, money? How do you tell your customers about, money? For example, if you’re a real estate agent and someone wants to pay you a four percent commission instead of a six percent commission, what do you say? What are the actual words that are coming out of your mouth?

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So, let’s get specific about what you say about, money. We’ve got a map, we’ve actually got kind of your, money blocks, in black and white in front of us.

Now, we can really start the coaching. So, we have sort of highlighted and done the private detective work figuring out, what’s your actual, money blocks.

I‘ll give you an example, someone I coached found this counter intuitively. She felt rich when checks would get mailed to her, so she would put the checks in her desk and not send them to the bank. Isn’t that strange? I can’t even identify that block, that is like a serious, money, scarcity thing.

Myrna –  Did she not know the checks are only paper unless you get the, money?

Hilary – No. It was completely just something she was blind to, until we did the, money, conversation log and she saw it.

She saw it for what it was and she’s like oh my God, this is crazy behavior; but no one’s ever asked me about my, money, behavior, so I never thought about it.

Step 3 –  logistics of money I don’t teach budgets, I think budgets are overwhelming and too detailed for most people. I think that people spend a lot of time designing a budget and then they never honor it or live by it, because it’s too restrictive .

Step 4 – Earn money – You can’t categorize every single expenditure you have, you’re a busy person with lots of responsibilities.  So instead, I teach a system I call automation. It’s sort of like the equivalent of irrigation in your garden little hoses bring, money, to the places where it needs to be.  People love it. 

  • you pay yourself first,
  • you pay your overhead
  • you save for your short-term goalsmaybe your next car 
  • you save for your financial independence first.
  • Then what’s left over, You spend from one account and that way when that account gets to zero, you’re not at zero, your money goals are already funded.

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That’s the plan and honestly most people get through the plan because it’s very front-loaded. It is a lot of work in the beginning; but once you set it up, just like irrigation, it happens every time you turn the hose on. People pay a lot of, money, to coaches to figure out how to earn money and they can’t figure out why their, money, still doesn’t work for them and it’s because they don’t have these steps.

Step 5 – The ASK mindset –  Learning to ask is a  mindsetYou can ask for a million things :

  •  you can ask your credit cards companies for a lower interest rate,
  • you can ask your insurance for a lower premium,
  • you can ask your memberships for a discount.
  • You can ask  for a discount at Star BuckJust go askThe point is not whether you get the discount or not, it’s having the mindset to ASK. We do a challenge inside my coaching program called “Get 100 No’s  You win the game by getting a hundred no’s and my assertion is, It will change your life. You’re building strength your, money blocks, are going to be different. For someyou’ll find that your, money blocks, are operationally systematized in your business processes.

Step 6 – Clearing the, money blocks.  in your business –  As an entrepreneur you’re either under charging for your products or services or you’re not spending enough effort getting prospects into your funnel. Whatever it is, there’s some part of the process that’s broken for youMy training is called “Eight Ways Business Owners can Transform Revenue into Personal Wealth, it is anon-demand training from October 8th to 15th.

So, you definitely want to go grab it.  This training is really for entrepreneurs who are sick and tired of working so hard for the, money, and having not much to show for it.

Step 7 – Protect – Once you clear your, money blocks, you can, build wealth, by protecting what you built.

I just want to show you how to climb out of that trap in this training and the great news is it’s totally FREE. You can grab your copy of that training by going to www.hillaryhendershott.com/myrna.

I want to encourage you, please subscribe to the Transform Your Mind’ YouTube podcast’s channelDefinitely trying to grow our audience. 

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Additional Resources 

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How to Survive an Economic Collapse

 

How to Accelerate Your Soul Journey: Clear these Money Blocks

Soul Journey

The purpose of the, soul, is to guide us to our purpose.  Every, soul, came into a body with a purpose. You can accelerate your, souls purpose, by clearing the, money blocks, you had from childhood.

Jennifer Longmore is a leading authority on, soul, purpose as well as an elite business coach to enlightened entrepreneurs. She is a sought after media personality, three times best-selling author and is known for her laser-like clarity on seeing into the depths of your, soul, for more than 15 years. She has served clients in permanently shifting their limiting beliefs and patterns that prevent them from being who they truly are, so they can accelerate their, souls, journey.

Listen to the full interview Here:

Myrna: I am excited to talk to you today, because I’ve been spending some conscious moments thinking of my, soul.

How Did you become a, soul, whisperer?

I grew up, I guess you could say prophetic.  I always knew things were going to happen before they happened. If the phone rang and someone said something, I was usually telling my parents 10-15 minutes before that so-and-so called and they said A, B and C, and then sure enough that person would call and say those things.

I guess you could say I am Claircognizant,  because I would just know that it was going to happen.  I couldn’t tell you why I knew, in fact I didn’t even know I was telling people anything they didn’t know. That’s actually how I went through school, freaking people out. I didn’t know who to be. I would tell people things, and I would freak them out.  I’m also a truth teller and I do that with love. I definitely speak my mind, call out injustices and so on. I was kind of doubly offending people without realizing it.

Myrna: I like that word “truth teller”, we always say direct communicators – that’s what I call myself; but truth teller sounds nicer.

Jennifer: It depends. I mean some people like it when they’re ready to hear the truth. They like it  when you’re telling them something they want to hear. It’s usually around relationships I find where people don’t particularly like the truth. They have questions like. I just met someone at a bar, is this my soul mate?

I knew from a very young age what my purpose was and was to help people on their, soul journey; but I also needed to feel safe enough and supportive enough to live with this gift.

Myrna: So you were born with a gift – the gift of being able to see things before it happened.  I’m thinking when I say the, soul, I’m using the traditional definition of it. I was listening to an audio book the other day and they said that there are different several names or labels for the, soul. some say the, subconscious, some call it the, super conscious; but it is the part of our non-physical that never dies. Is that what we’re talking about when you say,  soul?

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What is the Purpose of the, Soul?

Jennifer: Yes the, soul, we are referring to is our non physical or spiritual part of a human being that gives life to it.

Myrna: What do you think the purpose of the, soul, is?   You mentioned the fact that you were not connected to any religion. But every religion talks about the, soul,  because it’s eternal. It’s not tied to any religion.  How did you connect to your, soul? How did you bridge between connecting to the, soul, from what was happening to you?  Being able to know things before they happened?

Jennifer: I think the purpose of the, soul, is to guide us to our purpose.  Every, soul, came into a body with a purpose.  When I was younger,  I wouldn’t have been able to tell you about my, soul.  My maternal grandfather was a psychic medium. He used to solve crimes for the police, and my mom’s very intuitive. My dad was very intuitive. I think it’s just we’re all intuitive.

How does understanding your, soul purpose, help clients shift their limiting beliefs?

I think what’s going on in the world right now, it’s kind of hard not to feel really compelled to make sure that we are using our purpose to the fullest. I even consulted with my astrologer recently, and I said I want to make sure I use every ounce of my purpose that I came here to deliver. I want you to learn whatever I came here to learn. I want to be give back in whatever way I can. So I think even before the pandemic, we were spending our time asking does my life matter? Why am I here? Does my life have meaning?

So this is how I help my clients find their purpose and why they are here.  As a, soul, whisperer, I can see what they can’t see.  I didn’t plan on being a business coach when I first started. I was doing readings, I was teaching other people how to do readings. I was so successful because someone like me is always going to be successful.

What I came to realize is that most people, when they discover their, souls purpose, it is so unique that the best way to express it is through a business. The business is just the portal, it’s just the gateway, it’s just the vehicle to be able to share our gifts with the world and be compensated.

Once someone has a relationship with me and they trust me, I not only show them some of the different ways that they can express those gifts; but I help them with their mindset; because I feel mindset is a big reason why people don’t have success.

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If you don’t have the correct mindset, all the business plans in the world, all of the marketing and the Facebook ads, we still have this really sneaky way of sabotaging ourselves. I really  like reminding people what their potential is and then helping them find the easiest path to live their potential and express their potential in the world.

Myrna: That’s beautiful because really if we were to tap into the, soul, it is limitless. That’s one of the beautiful things about the, soul, or  super consciousness or your subconscious it’s limitless. So tapping into it’s potential is a good thing.

How to accelerate your, Souls, Journey by removing your, Money Blocks

You just mentioned mindsets and one of the questions I have here is about, money blocks. Let’s combine the two. You said that you can teach somebody things and they can have all the strategy in the world; but if their mindset is limited or they have a belief that maybe money is evil or if they achieved success then they wouldn’t be good parents. All kinds of, money blocks, are in their head. Are you able to see these, money blocks?

Jennifer: I can see it right away. Right away as soon as someone’s talking to me. I’ll have a client  describe their business to me and in 30 seconds, I can tell why they’re not where they want to be. I don’t know why it’s just I’ve talked to so many people,  tens of thousands of people at this point. So it starts to become a pattern and we all have, money blocks.

We all have a money story, it’s not about judging the money story, it’s our goal to have a healthy money story.  You can have a healthy money story with a hundred dollars in the bank or you can have an unhealthy money story with a billion dollars in the bank. I’ve served a client who had 100 million dollars net worth and she was probably the biggest pain in the bum that I’ve worked with.

She didn’t trust everyone, she felt everyone was out to screw her, everyone else was out to take her money. She had no peace. That’s not financial freedom; if you don’t have the peace with the money that you’ve worked so hard to accumulate.  I’ve talked with billionaires and they’ve said look, like I have money pains too, my money pains are just different because I’ve created a lot of jobs, a lot of people depend on me for their livelihood.

They tell me, I’m always worried that I’m going to drop the ball and I’m going to implode my business and then I’m going to be destitute and  500 other people are going to be without a job. So they just have different, money blocks.

Money is just a magnifier for what’s already there. How do you have peace when you keep waiting for someone to come and take your money?  I had a colleague of mine who didn’t pay her taxes for seven years. You’re allowed up to seven years where I live not pay your Federal taxes before they start to audit you?  Not only did they come and audit her; but because they needed to audit her, they froze all of her accounts including her Stripe Account and her Paypal account.

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She had no money to access while they investigated her.  Her, money blocks, were so resistant to looking money in the eyes.  When we do taxes, we have to look money in the eyes. This is our biggest issue and most of us don’t want to be in conversation with money.

We literally don’t want to pull up a screen and see what’s in our bank account. We don’t want to see what’s coming in or what’s going out and when we’re not willing to look money in the eyes, we can’t have a healthy relationship with our money.

How to Clear your, Money Blocks

Most of us tend not do that and so every activity in our business that requires us to look money in the eyes like sending an invoice, receiving an invoice, chasing someone for money, paying for a room to rent, hiring a team member etc. There’s so many conversations around money every single day in our business that if we don’t learn how to look money in the eyes and treat it like a friend and act like it’s a part of our dream team that wants to help our dreams come true, then we’re going to be working way harder than we need to work.

Myrna: I love that one.

Treat, your money like part of your dream team!

I heard a financial analyst talking about, money blocks; but she was talking about, money blocks, based on things like when your mother said “money don’t grow on trees”. You just got into detail of some really high level blocks about not being able to look at money, not being able to have a relationship with money, or look money in the eye that’s really high level.

Even about when people are billionaires and they still have money issues; because now they have no peace. They think everybody is out to get them, so that is high level, money block.

So would you put, money blocks, and limiting beliefs in the same bucket or is it different?

I think the same blocks that we have around money would at the core of how worthy we feel.

  • How deserving do I feel?
  • Do I feel I can succeed in life and business?
  • We tend to take our, money blocks, cues from our parents. If our parents were working class or they struggled or they had a business and that business failed.
  • Sometimes we have a really hard time out-succeeding the people that are important to us, even our mentors. There are a lot of people that feel like it’s disrespectful to out-grow their mentors.

What is the Souls Imprint?

Myrna: I was listening to a podcast recently and the founder of Mindvalley, his name is Vishen. He talked about coaching people on their, souls imprint. So is our, souls imprint, different from our, souls purpose?

I would say our, souls purpose,  is what did we come here to learn and do.

  • What did we come here to master?
  • What do we come here to contribute?
  • Our, souls imprint, might be worded something like what’s our, soul, essence. Some people just carry this frequency of truth for example so they can’t help it.  If there’s shady stuff going on in a room or in a business or something like, their, souls imprint, can’t let them ignore it.

I have had jobs that within the first month, I was able to pick out  whatever was out of integrity.  It would just come to the surface. My, souls imprint, had this way of vacuuming it out of the shadows. It’s not like I was trying to reveal anything; I didn’t even know it was there.

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How to shift your perceptions or, money blocks?

Well similar to the  looking money in the eyes, write a letter to yourself or your business.
Start like this – I love you; but stop what you are doing.  I’m not having any fun with you anymore.  Create an avatar of the person you are speaking to.  This person could be your dad or a parent who influenced your, money blocks.

My dad was always there physically; but he wasn’t there emotionally which is not an uncommon experience for a lot of us; because men were taught to not be emotionally unavailable. After writing my letter, I had this huge epiphany like, oh my goodness, I am expecting my business to be like my dad!

I had no idea that my subconscious block was being projected onto the consciousness of my business; because everything has consciousness. Then I thought okay, well my business makes money so what would happen if I wrote a letter to money?  I did and the same thing revealed itself.  I realized money’s always been there for me. I’ll ask for it and it shows up for me.

Money is always there for me; but I don’t feel connected to it.   My dad isn’t always showing up when I write letters to money, sometimes it’s someone that bullied me in my past. Sometimes it’s a boss that I really hated, sometimes it’s my mom.

It can be whoever is responsible for your, money blocks, because our body has a consciousness and our business has a consciousness.  This imprints on whatever we’re unconsciously projecting onto it. So the only way we can shift our perceptions is to create a new relationship with money.  Become aware of the relationship we’re already having with it, that we don’t even know. Once we bring awareness to something, then we can heal and shift.

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How can readers get in touch with you for Business Coaching and, Soul Purpose, Sessions?

I don’t do, soul purpose, sessions anymore; but I do offer that within business coaching . Readers can head over to my website  www.souljourneys.ca/soul, I have a FREE GIFT for your listeners and readers. It is a checklist of the nine most important questions to ask yourself to get in alignment with your, soul purpose.

Then I go much more deeply into the work that I do.  They can also connect with me by signing up for my daily inspirational emails.  I send little intuitive love bombs basically every day as an email when people sign up for that.

If you liked this content please subscribe to the Transform Your Mind podcast on iTunes, iHeart radio, Spotify,  YouTube, or wherever you listen to podcasts.  Please also post a review.

Additional Resources

How to Transform your Career with Purpose

A New Business Strategy: Increasing Your Capacity

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_find_your_purpose_in_life

A New Business Strategy: Increasing Your Capacity

Business strategy vs capacity

As a Business Coach, I kept getting clients who kept hitting a plateau with, business strategy.  They hired experts to help them figure out the right business model,  to surpass this plateau or ceiling; but they kept hitting this ceiling, nothing was working. It reminded me of my own, capacity, issue.~~~Lisa Fabrega

In this interview I speak with  to Lisa Fabrega, leadership coach on the topic It’s not your, business strategy, it’s your, capacity.

Listen to Full Interview 

Introduction to Capacity

Myrna – What I love about this topic is references one of my favorite quotes

You are the Lid! You can only  go as far as your, capacity, for growth.

So the headline It’s not your, business strategy, it is your, capacity, for growth resonates with me.

Lisa as a Business coach, How did you stumble on the concept that what’s was holding your clients back was not their, business strategy, or goals but their, capacity?

Lisa – Great question I stumbled upon this concept very early on in my coaching practice.

I was actually was a health coach working with clients on nutrition.   I noticed from my first couple of clients weren’t talking about food, instead it was their, capacity, was the focus.

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My clients were very ambitious and had already achieved a lot and yet they were hitting a plateau or something wasn’t working anymore.  They couldn’t figure out what it was even though they were very smart people, so they’d throw a bunch of, business strategy, at the problem.

When, business strategy, didn’t work, they would hire experts to figure out the right business model,  to surpass this plateau or ceiling.  But they kept hitting this ceiling, nothing was working. It reminded me of my own, capacity, issue.

Four years ago I had a, capacity, issue. My coaching packages were sold out, I had a huge wait list.  I was overwhelmed with requests and I didn’t have the, capacity, for it at the time.  One thing I always say to my clients is if Oprah called you tomorrow, are you ready?  Do you have the, capacity, to handle that influx of new business?

I thought this must be a, business strategy, problem instead of diagnosing it correctly that I had a, capacity, issue.  I couldn’t hold handle or receive what was coming my way on many levels, so I went and invested a ton of money in a new, business strategy, and a funnel and I ended up a hundred thousand dollars in debt.

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Myrna –  I would make the same decision. I immediately would think I needed to add more staff or something that’s probably what you did right?

Lisa –  I added more staff,  I hired a huge expansion team, I started a whole new funnel!  It was the most stressful year of my life because I did not sleep that entire year.  I was so stressed out about the money and the debt.

After doing some real deep self-reflection about what actually caused that problem,  I started to noticing my conversations with my clients who also had, business strategy, issues. I realized that It was not a, business strategy, issue but a, capacity, issue.

Myrna – Obviously you need, business strategy; but you also need the, capacity, to get there; so how did you transition your clients to look at their, capacity, not their, business strategy?

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Six areas of building capacity

Lisa – I realized that there are six areas of, capacity. I  drilled it down to six because everything kind of falls under these, capacity, areas that we tend to struggle with as ambitious and successful people.

  • Money capacity – What’s your, money capacity? Score yourself from zero to ten. Are you earning enough,  saving and investing larger and larger amounts of money every year?  If you answered No, then ask yourself why not?
  • Visibility capacity – visibility capacity is your ability to allow all of you to be fully seen in your work. So many people hide little bits of themselves from their brand and from their clients and then end up with a misalignment. A lot of my women clients who come to me and tell me they’re drained, it’s not that they’re overworked or have the wrong, business strategy; the burnout is not because of that, it’s because they’re hiding these parts of themselves and it’s so exhausting to have to constantly hide and not be transparent.
  • Purpose capacity – purpose capacity is when your inside matches your outside. Your, business strategy,  is lined up with your true purpose. You can’t start a business just because it has the potential to make you lots of money.  Your business must also line up with your values and purpose.
  • Embodiment capacity – embodiment capacity is your emotional, spiritual, mental and physical capacity.  If you were to get up on a stage in front of a thousand people and it drains the life force out of you  to the  point that you’re exhausted and have to recover for two days, you have an, embodiment capacity, issue.  If somebody leaves a nasty comment on your Instagram post and you are just like freaked out and hiding for two weeks, you have an, embodiment capacity, issue.
  • Structural capacity – I call this also your foundation capacity. What are the foundations that are holding you up or lifting you up to your next level? What systems or, business strategy, do you have at home, or at work to hold you up?
  • Boundary capacity – boundary capacity is about being clear about who you are. It’s not just boundaries with other people, it’s boundaries with yourself; because sure you could work 10 hours today but is actually going to serve where you’re going? Should you instead get some rest?  That’s setting a boundary with yourself.

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How to Expand your Capacity: your New Business Strategy

Myrna – What can women do to expand their capacity for growth, wealth and success?

Lisa –  It starts with knowing how they score on the  six capacities.

It will tell you what the real problem is because the biggest roadblock we experience when trying to expand our, capacity, is that we misdiagnose the actual problem.

If women don’t get clear and score themselves in these areas, they might think they have a structural issue or a strategic issue and don’t realize that it’s actually a, money capacity.

Why does our energy level affect our Capacity

Myrna – One of the things I wanted to ask you about is this, embodiment capacity.  You said  we can subconsciously drain our energy and power thus lowering our, capacity; explain that a little.

Lisa – I think that some of the ways that we unconsciously drain our power is through what I call emotional labor.  Women particularly do this a lot and that’s actually part of an, embodiment capacity, issue.  I have a great example. One of my clients told her husband would ask her every week after she would put the towels away, where’s the such-and-such towel and she’d say “it’s in the closet with the towels”  and he would say. “I don’t see it”  and she’d have to walk over to the closet and the towel would be right there.

This went on every week until she told him she was not doing any more emotional labor, that he can find the damm towel himself, she was no longer going to get up from what she was doing to find the towel for him.

This is a great example of tiny ways that we do emotional labor without realizing that we are being drained. These little leaks, I call them little power leaks leave you exhausted.  You wonder why you’re exhausted and burned out and it has nothing to do with your, business strategy, we have to be mindful of our energy. It’s being drained from emotional labor with our family, friends and even clients.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Tim Trilioni is a New Orleans Native who’s grown up literally most of his life around all genres
and music forms. He fell in love with Jazz music from a young age performing at local jazz
clubs, churches and events. As an artist, Tim Trilioni does not feel artists should put boundaries
on their musical expression and it shows in his work. He loves Afro Beats and Kwaito. He is
currently discussing potential collaborations with artists from these genres in the near future.

Follow Tim on https://www.instagram.com/timtrilioni/

 

Myrna – So true, women especially the care-giving kind of woman are always doing things for other people and then they emotionally drain themselves and then they don’t have the energy to do anything for some themselves which is why the self-care movement is becoming so popular.

If you’re emotionally drained, it limits your, capacity,  we can’t operate within our full capacity if our battery is drained.

Four  keys to unlock Capacity: Your New Business Strategy 

  1. Pleasure – pleasure can be whatever it means to you, it could be taking a walk in the park, it could be taking a break, getting in the tub, getting some nice smelling lotion and rubbing it on your hands. Making sure to have those pleasure breaks because it’s like refueling your tank. Allow your, business strategy, to be your best self.
  2. Eat Whole Foods – According to Ayurveda, it is very important to eat foods that are natural and pure for their full benefit to be absorbed by the body. When foods are as close to their state in nature as possible, that’s when they deliver the most potent nutrition. Foods that have been genetically altered, processed or refined have much of their natural intelligence stripped from them, disturb the intellect and the coordination and lowers our, capacity .
  3. Manage stress levels – We live in difficult times. Stress and anxiety, whether caused by time pressures or difficult work relationships, stress can have a significant negative impact on mental performance. A calm mind, serene and centered in its equilibrium, is unquestionably superior in terms of focus, attention span, retention of knowledge and problem-solving ability. It is important to manage stress before it becomes a severe problem, because stress has been known to damage or destroy brain cells, and many prescription pills for anxiety can have side effects that can further erode mental performance and, capacity. a new, business strategy, manage your stress.
  4. Get adequate, quality sleep – Related to stress is the other plague of modern society — lack of deep, restful sleep. With diet and lifestyle, sleep is a fundamental pillar of increasing your, capacity. Optimal physical and mental performance is impossible if sleep is not addressed. Getting eight hours of sleep is less important than striving for quality sleep, which occurs when the mind is totally disconnected from the senses. Quality sleep recharges and rejuvenates the mind, improving both short-term and long-term mental prowess as well as your, capacity for growth.

Myrna – I understand that you have  a capacity in crisis virtual workshop.

Lisa –  First of all I have an amazing free gift for your listeners.  To get your Free Gift head over to  my website at www.lisafabrega.com.

You can also sign up for my newsletter it’s actually an entire video series that I call the, capacity conversations.  It’s like binging on Netflix except you get to binge and expand your, capacity, instead of numbing your mind.

You get a series of free videos that walk you through all the capacities and help you diagnose what your capacity issue might be holding you back.

Myrna – I want to introduce a contest this week. The prize is a gift card from one of our sponsors hbnaturals.com.  One of you lucky listeners will get this $25 gift card for subscribing to either the Transform Your Mind iTunes podcast or subscribing to the Transform Your Mind podcast Youtube channel. Once you subscribe send me an email to info@myhelps.us with your contact information and if you are the winner, you will get this gift card to purchase any of the products on hbnatures.com coffee, skincare products, tea,  CBD oil, super-foods, essential oils, pet products and more.

I want to invite you all to join my private Facebook group called life coach, this group has lots of life coaches giving daily inspiration and tips to live your best like now.

Additional Resources 

How to Find your Passion, Purpose and Freedom as a Mompreneur

https://blog.myhelps.us/the-world-of-the-entrepreneur/

https://www.moneycarer.org.uk/useful-information/capacity-assessment-for-money-management.html