How to Rewrite Your Life Story and Achieve Organizational Wellness

Rewrite your life story

When you rewrite your, life story, you can start living on purpose.  You can then transcend the negative stuff from your story all the things that makes you uncomfortable. When you do this as a leader, you can then show up in your organization as your best self and that contributes to, organizational wellness.

My guest today is Sam Morris, Managing Director and chief Culture Officer at Five to Flow LLC, a global collective that builds integrative, organizational wellness, solutions designed to achieve and sustain, peak performance.

Listen to the full interview Here:

Coach Myrna Life Story

I want to start off by sharing my, life story.

I decided to think about my, life story, I realized that as a youth I didn’t identify with my, life story.

My, life story, is that I was born in a very poor Third World Country, Guyana. My mother and father didn’t have much. Both my grandmother and my mom were domestic servants. During that time, I was also, sexually abused.

I never identified with that, story, because somehow God put in my heart and spirit all of the things that I was good at an early age.  I was good in school, I had a great personality, teachers liked me etc. Now that I’m a, life coach, in the personal development space, trying to motivate and inspire others;  the, story, that I tell myself now is that I was born for greater things.

The, life story, of my birth to me is just basically like Jesus, we were both born in poverty and lack in order to transform you into a spiritual teacher.

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Helping Men Rewrite their Life Story

Myrna – Sam you mentioned that you help men overcome their, life stories, traumas, and blocks to be the men the world need them to be.  I’m assuming that you have a, life story, that somehow parallels this, because we have to go through something before you can help other people do the same.

What is your, life story?

Sam – My, life story, is that I was born with my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck, so I couldn’t breathe. From birth to almost 30 years of my life, I was extremely sick.  I had severe food allergies, actually a long list of food allergies. People say that I was allergic to basically everything except water and air; but then a therapist affectionately pointed out to me that actually I was allergic to air, because I also had asthma!

There was a period in my mother’s womb when she thought she had cancer, she didn’t know she was pregnant.  So my energies and my soul and my spirit were immediately put into fighting to survive mode.

As a child and adult, self-love, was not a part of my vocabulary or thought process. I had this idea that I needed to fight for breath and also fight for love.

Overcoming Your Life Story

My, life story, became that in order to be loved, someone had to save me. People were constantly having to save me from my asthma attacks and choking, and this saving mentality got imprinted on my heart as this is what love looks like.

If I am in a relationship with a woman, friend, parents or family member, I believed that for anyone to show me that they loved me they have to somehow save me.

Later in life, I battled addiction from my early 20s into my late 30s.  Really hardcore destructive addiction.

So my, life story, of being needing to be saved was very detrimental and destructive to me and that is why I coach men on how to rewrite their, life story.

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Your Life Story and Organizational Wellness

Myrna – How does rewriting your, life story, help with organizational, wellness, and, peak performance?

Sam – Your story, is important in, organizational culture. The, culture, is where I focus all my all my energies on.  Five to Flow focuses on the, organizational culture, because a culture of, inclusivity, allows an organization to thrive.  By, inclusivity, I mean the whole, diversity and inclusion, conversation. The, inclusion, I’m talking about here is the, culture, of feeling safe, allowing your employees to be creative, to be innovative, to show up for work as their best self!

When you rewrite your, life story, around I’m living my purpose, I’m transcending the negative stuff.  I’m transcending my negative story, I’m transcending that, lifestory, that keeps me uncomfortable. I am transcending the, lifestory, that’s familiar, but not productive or growth oriented. I choose to transcend that, lifestory, and show up in my organization as my best self, that mindset contributes to organizational, wellness.

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Rewrite your Lifestory by Going Back to Your Childhood Home

Myrna – I was listening an interview on Oprah Super Soul Conversations and the author talked about going back to your childhood home and looking through the window. What were your thoughts back then as a child when you looked through the window? Did you envy your friends because they had better clothes than you? Did you want to be white and have long straight hair? Looking through your childhood window allows you to understand your mindset and rewrite your, life story.

A lot of times you have to go back to the trauma and look at it from those eyes and maybe you will see something different. Looking back you could see something someone said to you that had traumatized you for years and now you see it was nothing.  The, story, that you been telling yourself for 30 or 40 years did not happen as you saw it.

How men can be vulnerable as Leaders

Vulnerability, for a guy is like being open to show your feelings even though you have told that real men don’t do this or that.  The things that society doesn’t let you talk about because you’ll look weak. Vulnerability, is like a beach ball in the ocean. Imagine you have a beach ball and it’s fully inflated and you’re trying to push it under water, it’s gonna to always pop back up. That’s like your trauma popping back up and you keep trying to push it back down.

That leads to self-sabotage and repeated destructive patterns.  The beach ball represents, vulnerability. If you open the tab and let some of the air out of the beach ball you will be able to keep it under water.  As a leader you have to become vulnerable to prevent self-sabotage.

Myrna – I remember Tyler Perry talking about this particular subject.  He was taught that men don’t cry and that he’s gone to funerals and people have told him don’t cry, you’re a man. But in an office nobody’s crying, what’s an example of, vulnerability, in a leader that showcases organizational, wellness?

Sam – In organizational, wellness, it is the action that you take to avoid the insecurity of fear. One of those insecurities could be something about like the President implemented a strategy that proved ineffective and someone else presented a better policy.  The President could fear loosing his job and being replaced.

 

Organizational Wellness and Your Life Story

Myrna – Tell us about your organization Five to Flow, I understand your mandate is to help foster, organizational wellness.  You identified that, health and wellness, is important to organizational success.

Sam – What we do at Five to Flow is we look at five areas of, organizational wellness:

  • On our website www.fivetoflow.com we have a, wellness, wave which is a diagnostic tool that anybody take and it will spit you back a score. There’s two versions, a short version and a long form version that any anybody in the organization can take. You get a score from one to five back on how all their employees answered questions in these five areas:
  • process,
  • people,
  • culture
  • analytics and
  • technology.

Each one of these areas has 25 questions for the long form and five questions for the short one about they’re employee or the leadership team or the CEO c-level, c-suite team about their experience of those five areas of the business.

 

Conclusion

I want to remind you guys if you’re if you’re listening on iTunes please subscribe.

You can also subscribe to the Transform your mind YouTube Channel.

Finally, I want to invite you guys to join my Facebook group called life coach for daily inspiration from Coaches and thought leaders from around the world.

 

Additional Resources

Are You Trapped By Your Past?

How to Find Beauty in Your Now!

Ten Characteristics of a Great Leader

Best leaders of all time

An Entrepreneurial, leader,  is defined as the owner manager of an organization or Business Enterprise with considerable initiative and risk. The risk and high volatility of the, entrepreneurial mindset, is the life blood of the capitalist society. Because of the high risk of failure of the, Entrepreneur, (statistics says 1 in every 10 businesses will succeed) it is of paramount importance to have an effective, Leader, at the helm.

Here are ten of the most important characteristics of the Entrepreneurial Leader:

  1. Passionate - You must care about people above profits. People encompass the, entrepreneur, customers,  employees  community.
  2. Driven - An Entrepreneurial, Leader , must be self motivating and have a burning desire to succeed
  3. Humility - An entrepreneurial, leader, must be humble. "I believe the first test of a truly great man is in his humility". -John Ruskin Visionary 
  4. Vision - A leader, must have vision. Without vision his business will perish.
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"The most pathetic person is a person who has sight but no vision". -Helen Keller

Where do you see your company in 5 or 10 years? Are you able to recognize trends? Are you able to be innovative and re-inventive? If not, your company will become obsolete.

"Where there is no vision, everything will fail. Your business will fail, your marriage will fail, you will stumble in your spiritual life, your money will disappear, you will get fat and flabby and you will go no where in life!" - Peter Drucker.

The bible teaches "people without a vision, will perish". Not in the physical body but you will become spiritually dead. Vision is the blood that circulates in the, entrepreneur's, organization and keeps it alive. Pull your dreams gently out of the clouds, write them down, work with an Executive Coach to design action steps; only then it becomes a vision.

Loyalty – Loyalty to customers and employees is a must for the, leader.

"A person who deserves my loyalty receives it". - Joyce Maynard

A, leader, who has no followers is only out for a walk! 

5. Loyalty is the glue that keeps your employees and customers bound to you. Reciprocate it.

6. Charismatic - A Charismatic, leader, are essentially very skilled communicators. Entrepreneurial Leader,  should be verbally eloquent; but also able to communicate to followers on a deep, emotional level. They are able to articulate a compelling or captivating vision, and are able to arouse strong emotions in followers. Charisma is not a must have characteristic but a nice to have.

  • 7. Risk taker - Entrepreneurial leaders, are risk takers since the failure rate is high. With great risks come great rewards. Nothing ventured nothing gained. An, Entrepreneurial Leadership, must take risks to win!.

 

  • 8. Strength and Courage - Courage, confidence, self reliance, and persistence are the characters, leaders, needed to overcome obstacles and reach the goals in life that really matter to you and your company.

9. Spiritual strength - which includes mental and emotional strength are also important characteristics to add.

When you are able to surrender to God, and have confidence that you are on purpose; you tap into the organizing power of the Universe. The power that supports all living things, the power greater than yourself.

As goes the King goes, so does the Kingdom. Your business and your career rises and falls according to the strengths or weaknesses of its, Leader. You are the lid! A Spiritual Life and Executive Coach can help you push past limiting beliefs, and help you build that courage and confidence muscle.

  • 10. Maverick - Mavericks are talented and truthful to the point of bluntness. Mavericks break rules, not out of spite; but because the rules don't work. They are highly goal orientated, charismatic, and will question anything and everything! Mavericks are, Leaders, who eagerly make business decisions that fly in the face of business-as-usual. They deliberately turn traditions up-side-down or shut them out altogether, looking instead for new "disruptive" ideas and creative people, and in doing so find themselves on a joyous ride to success. Steve Jobs (Apple) and Richard Branson (Virgin) are often marked as 'mavericks'.

 

  • Passionately Serving - You have to be a servant to lead effectively.

 

“I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” ― Albert Schweitzer

What, communication skills, are important to Entrepreneurial Leader success

Let’s talk about, leadership, and then this broaden it to a straight talk between peers.  Talking straight is really a sign of respect to everyone in your life.  We’ve all met people who say they call it as they see it, that is actually quite selfish.  Talking straight is when you are able to base what you’re saying in fact.  When you talk straight with someone, you don’t postulate, you don’t pontificate,  you don’t technically tell the truth, but you kind of leave the wrong impression.  No you just you say straight up what is true.

As a life coach, I would use something called the, sandwich technique,  which means that you package that talk with something positive like a sandwich.

I would not advocate the, sandwich feedback method. I think it’s generally disingenuous. I think the better technique is to first declare your intent, because the moment there is suspicion about your intent, everything you do becomes tainted.  So be very clear on what your intent is. Say what is uncomfortable straight, no chaser without any bogus compliments and no hidden agenda.

Additional Resources 

Keep Your Vision in Front of You

15 Benefits of Hiring an Executive Coach

 

 

Universal Law of the Harvest: Are you Eating Your Seed?

 The, Law of the Harvest,  is one of the, Universal Laws. We are all familiar with the, universal laws, like the, Laws of Gravity. We know that if we jump off a building, we will fall to the ground. We know that if an apple rolls off a table it will fall to the ground. Only in space we see things floating around. I was watching a movie recently where someone vomited in space and the vomit well ….you get the picture. It did not fall to the ground! The, Universal Laws, of the Harvest can literally be referred to as the Power of the seed. You can’t harvest without first planting a seed.   See an excerpt below on planting and harvesting Lettuce.

Universal Laws of the Harvest is the reaping and sowing Principle

The, Universal Law, of the Harvest, can be demonstrated with planting lettuce. Lettuce can be started from seed or from plants. Some gardeners like to direct seed their lettuce; but many prefer to start transplants and then move them into the garden after they get off to a good start. Lettuce seed germinates best in moderate to cool temperatures with soil temperatures of 75 degrees being about ideal. The seeds are small and flat so some seed companies now offer palatalized seed for easier more accurate seeding and germination.

Lettuce seed won’t germinate well if buried too deep, so you must cover them with about 1/4 inch of light sand or screened compost. Press them lightly on the surface to firm soil or growing media against the seed and then mist them well to thoroughly moisten. One mistake many gardeners make when direct seeding lettuce out in the garden is to not prepare a fine textured, smooth seed bed. Scattered into chunky, crusty soil lettuce seed will seldom make a good stand.

Keep the seeds moist until they sprout and get off to a good start. If a seed dries out at any time during the germination process it will die. If you start seed outdoors it helps a lot to place a row cover fabric over the seed row, suspended to prevent the row cover from getting pressed into the soil surface with watering or rains. The row cover helps to keep the seeds from drying out quickly in the sun and drying wind. Remove the cover to water the seeds once or twice a day to keep them moist. Use a mister nozzle on the water hose to prevent blasting the seeds away. Gardeners often tend to plant more lettuce than they need.

Your harvest is a direct proportion to what you plant

Think about it. How many heads or plants of leaf lettuce do you eat a week? Plant enough to last a couple of weeks and a few extras to allow for some that won’t make it. Scatter the seeds one half to an inch apart. It is really easy to plant them too thick. Then when you try to thin the seeds it’s difficult not to do significant damage to the remaining plants. Plant Care Lettuce performs best if you keep it growing well with adequate soil moisture and moderate fertilization.

Water transplants in with a dilute solution of soluble fertilizer according to label instructions. Repeat this application twice weekly for a couple of weeks to ensure the new plants are off to a good start. A light application of dry fertilizer when the plants have been in about two weeks should take them on through their harvest time. Sprinkle one half cup of a 3-1-2 or 4-1-2 ratio fertilizer per 10 foot of planting row. Then lightly scratch it into the surface and water it in well. Lettuce is shallow rooted so avoid deep cultivation. Stay ahead of weeds so you don’t disturb the lettuce plants later when removing large competing weeds.

Light, shallow cultivation is best. You can mulch the best when plants are well on their way. This will also help prevent soil from splashing onto the leaves during rain or irrigation. Problems Lettuce used to be plagued by several diseases that could wipe out plantings. Most modern varieties have some good resistance built in, but at times during wet periods some fungal rots and mildews may show up. I suggest that should such a problem arise just pull out affected plants and keep the new plantings coming rather than resort to sprays, especially since by the time some rot shows up it is too late to do that plant much good with a spray. Lettuce is fairly cold hardy and will tolerate light frosts with little to no damage.

Young seedlings are more prone to freeze damage. Harvest Head types are best harvested after they develop a firm head. Bibb lettuce is ready to harvest when the plants have reached about their full size and the leaves are just starting to cup inward slightly as if to form a loose head. Leaf lettuce can be harvested at any time from when you are thinning young plants on. But is it best to either harvest older leaves, leaving the plants to grow for later harvests or cut entire plants out when they reach near full size for the variety. I generally make harvest decisions based on how much other lettuce is coming along for later harvest. If I have plenty on the way I’ll pull more plants when they are younger. If not then I may just harvest outer leaves to get more later on from the older plants. The, law of the harvest, is finite.  You have to plant the seed and let nature do the rest.  If you don’t plant, you cannot get a harvest.

The, Universal law of the harvest, can be applied to all areas of life.

The, Universal Law, of the harvest, most popular text reference is from the book of Galatians in the Bible which reads,

“For whatever a man sows that and that only is what he will reap.

Most people are inclined to ask the “why” question when things happen to them. In most instances the answer is found in the, law of the harvest.   You are simply reaping the harvests of what you have previously sown. Whenever you get results you do not desire, begin to interrogate what kind of seeds you have been planting. From the lettuce illustration above; if you plant lettuce seeds, you will not reap or harvest cabbage. Thus the reference that you always reap what you sow!

The reason why some probably do not have happiness is because they don’t sow happiness. When you sow strife you reap strife. This is why it is necessary to carefully analyze what seeds you plant in your relationships, be it with your friends, family, or business associates.   The quality of that relationship is solely premised on the seeds you plant with your actions and words. If you plant mistrust, you will reap mistrust. One of the best advice I have every received on seed planting in relationships was

“treat your marriage and relationships like a bank account, you have to make more deposits than withdrawals or you become overdrawn”.

Every time you give of yourself or serve another, you are planting seeds that will grow into a harvest. I believe that even if you are planting into a relationship now that does not bear fruit, you will still harvest in another relationship or in your job or in your children! So keep planting the, law of the harvest, is truth.

Another, law of the harvest, is that you will reap according to the measure that you sow. The Law states that: “He who sows sparingly and grudgingly will also reap sparingly and grudgingly and he who sows generously will also reap generously and with blessings.”

Once you have identified the kind of harvest you desire, it is important to realize that again you determine the amount of harvest you receive with the amount of seed you plant. In the illustration above the farmer planted much more seed than was necessary for the harvest because he knew that some will die, either from decease, from thinning, or from rocky soil. If the seed you are planting is for the harvest of a promotion then you have to work harder than the rest and stand out. If the seed you are planting is to harvest a spouse, then you have to plant trust, service, love, affection, stability, and much more seeds than the other suitors.

It is like the seed put in the soil – the more one sows, the greater the harvest. ~~~~Orison Swett Marden

The, Law of the Harvest, says We Reap In Proportion to What We Sow

The promise and warning of Scripture about, sowing and reaping, is that we reap what we sow. This means that life’s choices are filled with consequences both good and bad — Reaping what we sow means we reap only what has been sown, we reap in kind as we sow, we reap in a different season than we sow, we reap more than we sow, but we also reap in proportion to what we sow.

We also can reap more than we sow. No fact is more significant and sobering than this one. When we sow good, we bountifully receive from the hand of God who is debtor to no man;

The, universal law, of the  harvest states that the, harvest, is always greater than the seed planted.

If this were not the case, no farmer would ever plant a thing; if he only got back what germinated in the ground. He would be on the losing end and spend his life in utter futility.   Reaping more than we sow is fundamental to the, Universal  Laws, of the Harvest and this is not just true for the agricultural world, it is true for nearly every aspect of life: for the physical and the spiritual, for believers and unbelievers alike.   The, Universal law,  of the harvest, works in reverse as well. When we sow evil, we will generally reap more evil than we sowed as well. This is one of the most important of the, universal laws.

Application of the 7  Universal Laws

There are, 7 Universal Laws. Some people are in the habit of expecting way too much than what they give in. A salesperson who does not do the activity of calling on customers or engaging in the sales activity; but who hopes to get lucky by customers falling in his or her lap soon finds out that the, universal Law,  of the Harvest is finite.

“You can’t reap what you don’t plant”

Only miracles supersede and defy these laws. The effort you put in determines the outcome you receive. Always!

Another, law of the harvest, is that the harvest follows planting and not vice versa.

Some people are naïve to say the least. They expect to reap first then they harvest. That is absurd. The Laws of, sowing and reaping, says you first sow then you reap. How miraculous would it be that you find a field of lettuce and no one planted any seeds or seedlings? I would bet that you would not eat that lettuce because you would be suspicious of where it came from. So expecting the rewards before you do the work is ludicrous.

  • You have to plant the seed,
  • you have to water every day,
  • you have to fertilize,
  • you have to make sure the plants get sunlight,
  • you have to protect from pests;
  • only then you can taste the sweetness of the, harvest.

You must have seed for your harvest. Are you eating your seed?

Most average and poor people are guilty of this statement, “we don’t give because we don’t have.” The reality is the opposite however; you don’t have because you don’t give. The, universal law, of the, harvest, says you have to give to get. Someone told me a great analogy once at a party.

“If your hands are closed, then not only can you not give, but you also cannot receive”

So make sure your hand is open to give and to receive. Everyone has a seed which will take them to a next level of plenty (with regard to the seed sown). The problem is most people think they should have plenty in order to plant. That is why some people need thousands to start a business while some can start from just a few dollars. I read about a lady who borrowed $3000.00 from family and friends to start her own business as a pottery consultant. I don’t remember the name of her company, but she purchased pots and pans and taught people how to cook in those pots and pans.

She had just sold her Company to Warren Buffet for 900 million! God can do a lot with very little!

The last, Law of the Harvest, I will share states that,

“There is always a time interval between planting and harvesting.”

Sowing and reaping happens in different seasons

You sow in a different season from the one you reap in. Most people cannot endure the season of waiting for the, harvest, which is why they do not plant at all. They seek instant gratification so they would rather eat the seed, rather than plant it and wait for the, harvest. They do something today and expect results tomorrow. There is nothing like that! You can’t circumvent the, Law of the Harvest! You miss or eliminate a step and you get no lettuce or fruit.

If you decide that to plant and not water, your seedlings will die. If you start watering and caring for the soil and there is no seed planted you reap nice dirt! You have to plant, water, protect and wait for the harvest. You plant your seed in the spring and, harvest, in the summer or fall. Remember that for everything you need in life, there is a seed that you can plant. Everything that you have ever wanted in your life can be planted and you will begin to enjoy the benefits of the, laws of the harvest.

If you plant nothing you reap nothing.

Start planting the seeds that give you the results you require. Remember if you eat your seed, there can be no, harvest. Everyone has something they can plant!

The, law of the harvest, can be applied to your Academics, Spiritual life, Finances, Relationships, Career, Business and anywhere else you desire to see results.

Additional Resources

Caring for your Inception or Thought Seeds

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-care-for-your-thought-seed/

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reap-where-you-plant/

How to Program Your Subconscious Mind for Permanent Change

The, subconscious mind, is a data-bank for everything, which is not in your, conscious mind,. It stores your beliefs, your previous experience, your memories, your skills. Everything that you have seen, done or thought is also there. It is also your guidance system. The, subconscious mind, can also be described as a tape recorder and it just plays back what it records unless you make the conscious effort at, subconscious mind reprogramming, and  erase the tape and record new messages.  That is the only way to affect permanent change, erase and re record.

Today on the, Transform your Mind, to Transform your Life Radio show and podcast, Coach Myrna Young interviews Neuro Linguistic Programming, NLP, Coach Van Henry. Van tells our audience why he became an, NLP, coach. He was on assignment as an engineer in South Africa during the Apartheid regime, when he had a conversation with a Black man who told him that he was told at a young age that he was unteachable, because he had a smaller brain than the white man.

Van of course told him that was a lie, that he himself was an educated black man with an engineering degree. He convinced this man that his brain was the same size as the White man, the Chinese man and all other races because God created us all equal! That was indeed, subconscious mind, programming.

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This Black man was convinced, because he was looking at the evidence, Van Henry himself. He then changed his, subconscious mind, programming by rewriting the tape and re recording new information to believe that he could be educated and that he had as big a brain as the White man. This Black man went on to have a college degree and become a supervisor, leading a fulfilling life.

So as a Transformations Coach, I would like to do the same for you. The lie that you tell yourself can be anything. It does not have to be that you are not as smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough etc. ; you could believe that you are limited by any other belief that is holding you in bondage.

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How the, subconscious mind, works

Your, subconscious mind, is an unquestioning servant that works day and night to make your behavior fits a pattern consistent with your emotionalized thoughts, hopes, and desires. Your, subconscious mind, grows either flowers or weeds in the garden of your life, whichever you plant by the mental equivalents you create.

Your, subconscious mind, has what is called a homeostatic impulse. It keeps your body temperature at 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit, just as it keeps you breathing regularly and keeps your heart beating at a certain rate. Through your autonomic nervous system, it maintains a balance among the hundreds of chemicals in your billions of cells so that your entire physical machine functions in complete harmony most of the time.

Your, subconscious mind, also practices homeostasis in your mental realm, by keeping you thinking and acting in a manner consistent with what you have done and said in the past.

Neuro Linguistic Programming, is the art of training the, subconscious mind, to achieve a goal.

  1. The first thing you have to do to, subconscious mind reprogramming, is to Master Self. Master your self talk, master your beliefs.
  2. Then you have to write your goals down and give them form.
  3. Once you give them form, you have to tell someone who can hold you accountable.
    This does two things. Firstly, once you speak your goals into the atmosphere you activate the, Laws of Attraction, and secondly it motivates you to not look like a failure to the person holding you accountable.
  4. The forth thing is to access your values to be sure there is no conflict with your beliefs. This is where awareness comes in. You have to know who you are.

You have to know Yourself, to Grow Yourself

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For you to grow, to get out of your comfort zone, you have to be willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable doing new things the first few times. If it’s worth doing well, it’s worth doing poorly until you get a feel for it, until you develop a new comfort zone at a new, higher level of competence.

Subconscious Mind Reprogramming

For those looking to expand their realm of comfort zones, I highly recommend considering the habits of successful people as they are the patterns commonly adopted by the minds of great leaders and thinkers. Unlocking the power of these behaviors will put you one step closer to being able to make the same things happen in your life.

Learning techniques for, subconscious mind reprogramming, will help you believe in yourself because your confidence will no longer be challenged by fear of the unknown. But more importantly, doing so will train your brain to be in line with your true desires, dreams, and life goals and a mission driven life. 

The more in tune with your, subconscious mind, you become, the closer you will be to breaking through to success. For example, you might have an idea for a book that has been on your back burner for years. With the right level of confidence, you’ll take the next step in learning how to write a book, rather than clinging to the dream, but never acting.

Listen to this YouTube video and hear directly from, NLP, coach Van Henry on How to Program your, subconscious mind, for permanent change. Once you believe, then you can achieve!.

You become a master builder, as your coach I will give you the tools to help you build.

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If you are a coach or an author and you would like to be a guest on the “Mindset Transformation Talk Radio Show” email me at info@myhelps.us

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Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reprogram-your-unconscious-mind/

https://blog.myhelps.us/who-is-tending-your-mind-garden/

How to Own the Sales Process from Prospect to Client

real estate sales process

How to Own the Sales Process from Prospect to Client. i.e How to meet a prospect and walk out with a client!

In this episode, Coach Myrna Young interviews Elizabeth Gifford Maffei. Elizabeth was a multi-million dollar sales producer as a Real Estate agent, she is now a health and spiritual advocate and business coach.

Show notes Sales Process 

* What is a Challenge that entrepreneurs and business owners experience when trying to close a sale?

6 tips to close a sale quickly and effectively
  1. Identify the decision-maker and start a conversation. …
  2. Accurately qualify your prospects. …
  3. Pitch your solution (not just the product)
  4. Create a sense of urgency. …
  5. Overcome their objections. …
  6. Ask for the sale.

* What is the difference between making a sale and creating a loyal client?
* What is the first step in having a successful meeting with a prospect?

How to Prepare for a Sales Meeting As a Real Estate Agent

To be fully prepared for a successful customer meeting, you need to answer these questions:

  • Who are you meeting with?
  • Why are the two parties meeting?
  • What is the objective of the meeting?
  • When and where will it take place?
  • What is the agenda for the meeting (How)?

* How should you prepare before meeting with your prospect?
* How should a successful meeting be conducted?

Using Body Language during the Sales Process

How does the use of, body language, help, close a sale?

While it’s important to know what you should do in meetings and negotiations, knowing what you shouldn’t do is often just as important – and it begins with bad, body language.

The best sales managers know that while you may have a polished sales presentation, tasteful attire, and a product that practically sells itself, you can still miss out on, closing a sale, if your, body language, is out of sync with your words. While it’s true that first impressions make a lasting impact, cumulative, body language, is important. If you are in the habit of demonstrating any of the following, body language, in the, sales process, it could be enough to hurt your sales performance, turning a potential yes into definite no.

* What is the most important step that many business owners leave out?
* An example of a successful prospect meeting that resulted in a closed sale.

The four Stages of the Sale:

1: Qualify – Your, prospects, must have the money, the time, the need and the want to contract your services.

2: Build Rapport – People buy from people they like!
When you meet a, prospect, for the first time, it is important to find common ground. Look for similar interests or experiences and chat about them before getting into your, sales pitch.

3: Tell a story – Showcase how your product or service helped another client. It could also be a personal story of your journey to your current vocation.

4: Closing the Sale, – If you followed the first 3 stages then you don’t even need to close, just ask them to sign!
If you get to the end and you get objections, then you missed the qualify or selling the benefits.

Additional Resources

How to Build Wealth with Turnkey Real Estate Investing

Real Estate Investing with No Money

 

5 Keys to Successful Self Leadership

Success in life depends on your ability for, self leadership. You may say I am not a, leader, I am not a manager or a CEO true; but, self leadership, is more important than how many people you lead in your home or place of work.

Self leadership, is the answer to how do we develop ourselves to survive and thrive in a Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, and Ambiguous world.

Self leadership,  is the Critical Success Factor for individual and organizational success.

Here are 5 Essential Disciplines for Self Leadership 

Discipline #1 Accountability
You must learn to take full responsibility for everything on your watch. This means that the fish stinks from the head down! A great way to do this is with, self leadership, because those who follow you are watching your, leadership.

Discipline # 2 Focus
As a, Leader, you will wear many hats. Success comes from knowing where to focus your attention. Everything is important.
Acquiring the skill of discrimination allows the, leader, to discern what is most important and least important.

Discipline # 3 Organizational self leadership 

Organizational, self leadership,  is the skill through which chaos is turned into order.

Discipline # 4 Innovation
As a, leader, you will begin to consciously focus your attention and discriminate where the maximum leverage is.
You will recognize the need for continual improvement and for innovation in your processes.

Discipline # 5 Communication Skills 

Communication skills, are evident in how well you communicate your passion, vision, and mission to your employees, customers and self.

Here are 3 types of Communication Skills

The three primary means of communication are verbal, nonverbal, and visual.
  • Verbal Communication. Verbal communication depends on words to deliver meaning.
  • Nonverbal Communication. Nonverbal communication occurs when meaning or messages are sent or received without the use of words like body language.
  • Visual Communication.
Daphne Lynn Valcin is a business coach and speaker.

Daphne’s talks to us about the keys to a successful mission driven life or business.
Since 90% of startup businesses fail, Daphne believes that the quality of life and business, leadership, is at the root of success or failure.
She believes that, leadership, is about using the most effective strategies to conquer obstacles while taking consistent steps to move forward when tackling your vision, whether that vision is within the workplace, as a leader of a business or, self leadership.

Show notes:
. Daphne explains what is true, self leadership.
. What sets successful startup businesses apart from those that fail.
. How a business coach helps clients.
. What does a thriving business look like.
. What are some of the biggest mistakes companies do with their sales and marketing efforts.
. What are some of the characteristics of successful leaders.

Here are 11 strategies for effective, self leadership,  from Young Entrepreneur Council:

Leadership advice from Dale Carnegie

When managing my team, I use a tactic from Dale Carnegie: Think in terms of the other person’s wants. The goal is to align a team member’s natural talents and preferences with the company’s goals. What do they want? What motivates them? What do they like to do? Then manage them to reinforce what they want and how they can achieve those things through their work.

Additional Resources

How to Set up Your Business Structure as an Entrepreneur

How to Consciously Plan Personal Growth

As a Life Coach, I know that the secret to, personal growth,  is to consciously plan for it. It doesn’t just happen.  We all know the acorn lives in the oak tree!  But unlike the Oak tree, personal growth, is not pre-programmed into your DNA. You need to have a plan for, personal growth.

“You can’t see the picture if you are the frame”~ Les Brown

Hire a, Life coach, invest in you!. A, Life coach, is able to Help you see the entire picture.

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Personal Growth Podcast

Introduction to Personal Growth

Think about it. When you were growing up, your pediatrician would have you stand by a growth chart and he was able to determine how healthy you were by your growth as it related to his growth chart.

In a similar way, you can determine your professional health by your, personal growth, chart.
Did you stop growing and learning when you left school? The secret to, personal growth, is that you have to plan to grow every day?

That management promotion you are asking God for will not come if you don’t proactively do the work to acquire the skills. That spouse or healthy relationship will not come unless you proactively work at becoming the best you. Your business will not grow unless you have a growth plan, commonly called a business plan.

Below is Starbucks proactive plans for, Personal  Growth:

The People’s Republic Of Starbucks
Speaking last month at an investors’ conference in Seattle, Belinda Wong, head of Starbucks in China, said the company was opening an outlet every day on average in the world’s second-largest economy.

“This year we have a higher ambition,” she told shareholders. “We will open on average one store every 18 hours.”

The company just opened its 1,500th outlet in the country, considered a milestone for the company that views China as a major source of growth this year. It wants 3,000 outlets by 2019, compared with its current 11,000 in the U.S.
Unlike in the U.S., Starbucks in China targets affluent cosmopolitan professionals and students, and puts stores near where they shop, study or work.
“Starbucks’ China and Asia-Pacific region is one of the new target areas for the company, where it intends to focus its near-term growth. Starbucks,” said a research note from Trefis.

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5 Tips to Help You Meet Your, Business Goals,  by Entrepreneur.com magazine.

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/246435

1. Define your projects.

The first and most important thing in, personal growth and development, is to figure out what projects you are dealing with. First, what is a project? My definition is anything that takes more than a few easy tasks to get done. Setting up that new sales software? That’s a project. Expanding your network? Yep, that’s a project, too. Growing your business? That’s a collection of projects!

Some of your, self improvement, projects will be pretty obvious, but others will lurk in the background unacknowledged. To unearth all of your projects, write down everything you’re currently working on and everything you want to be working on. Then, group that list around specific, personal growth,  goals.
That action will likely lead you to your project list. You may have 10 to 20 (or even more) projects on this list, but to be effective, you’ll want to pick the two to five projects that are most important, and focus on those for the remaining tips.

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2. Give your personal growth projects a start and end date.

You should know (or decide) when each, self improvement, project should start and end. This will allow you to sequence projects by prioritizing them based on when they need to start or be finished. Start and end dates will also allow you to plan around your own business cycles and prevent projects from going on for much longer than they should.

3. Make a one-page plan for Self Improvement

A little, personal growth and development, planning goes a long way to helping a project succeed. To create a one-page plan, jot down your answers or notes for each of the following questions:
• What problem will the project solve?
• What is the benefit to the organization?
• What kind of staff and budget do I need?
• What are the major milestones?
• What are the potential stumbling blocks?
• What risks does this project pose?
• What is my work, self improvement, plan (list of tasks or sub-items to be completed by when)?
• What are the specific metrics for success?
• How will you know the project is done?
Note: if you’re going to keep the plan to one page, your answers need to be relatively concise!

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4. Establish communication routines.

For any project that involves multiple team members, set up communication routines in advance. Will someone be reporting progress weekly? Monthly? Will there be a recurring call for all parties to check in? Who is responsible for checking on whether the project is meeting its milestones?

5. Know if and when to quit personal development

In the, personal development, space, it’s best to finish what you start, sometimes it’s necessary to pull the plug. If you have all of your projects laid out, with start and end dates and a clear one-page plan that includes milestones and communication guidelines, you should have all the information you need to know when to quit a project.
Certainly it’s not always easy to quit, especially if you’ve already committed a lot of time, energy and emotion. But if a, personal development,  project is dragging on.

Here are some questions that can help you think through whether or not to abandon your, personal development, Goals:

• Is the goal of this, personal growth,  project still important to my organization?
• What was the planned ROI for this project? What is the ROI now?
• What is my opportunity cost in working on this? Could I better achieve my goals by spending this time on other projects?
• What is the emotional toll of continuing with this project.

Finally, commit to Constant and Never Ending Improvement (CANI) that is, self improvement.

In my book “Out of the Snares” I share that as a Limousine Operator, I went to the National Limousine Association annual meeting in Las Vegas every year. Every year I would practice, personal growth and development, by learning from the best operators in the business on how to use technology, improve on services and expand on my products. That allowed me to have a 30% annual growth rate and win the Entrepreneur of the year award in 1998. My intention was to become the largest operator in the Greater Toronto area and have a fleet of over 100 limousines. The secret? A, personal growth, plan!.

“Reach for the moon, even if you miss, You will land among the Stars” ~ Les Brown

The Importance of Constant and Never-Ending Improvement required for, personal growth

• Sometimes when you’re prepared to step out and be different you’re going to cop some criticism
• Don’t wait until you’ve got everything 100% right before you get started. Get it 80% right and then continue to improve it as you go
• By being different – you will also be memorable!
• Have high targets to stretch you for, personal growth.  They said man would never land on the moon…but he did. If you don’t aim high, you’ll never get where you want to be.
• Fear is what stops you from setting what people would say are ‘unrealistic goals’
• The famous Australian Cricket batsman, Sir Donald Bradman had this philosophy every time he came out to bat: I’m going to hit it for 6! If I don’t get a 6, then I may get a 4. If I don’t get a 4 then I’ll get either a 3 or a 2 or a 1. But at least I’ll get something!
• The average Real Estate Agent in earns $23,000 – $24,000. You can’t afford to be average!
• It’s not about selling…it’s about people. Be a people-helper because that is the key to your success in sales
• A Real Estate client’s lifetime value is $127,000.  If you look after them and keep in contact with them. What’s the lifetime value of your clients?
• Provide a guarantee for your clients and this will give you the edge over your competition
• If you’re prepared to step out and take risks – and overcome your fears – you will become a leader in your industry
• Develop your daily rituals of success
• Exercise will help you keep your stress levels low and enable you to be more productive
• We spend too much time wasting our time – and not improving ourselves
• Shut up and listen! Really listen! If you can’t work out your client’s needs in the first 10 – 15 minutes, then you shouldn’t be in sales
• Honesty and Transparency are crucial to long term success
• Serve others and not yourself

Adobe Photoshop PDF

Pick up your copy of “Out of the Snares” and understand the how having a, Life coach, can help you grow intentionally by helping you see the “Picture in the Frame” . Learn how to get motivated by your passion and natural abilities. “Out of the Snares” is the story of my vision to become a US citizen and my journey to leaving a Legacy for my children. The secret to my growth was I committed to constant and never ending improvement.

Order your copy today.https://myhelps.us/book-order/

Trying to see the picture? Need help understanding your DNA and what is in your seed? Let me Help you.

Additional Resources

7 Strategies to Personal Growth

How to Program Yourself for Positive Change

Positive change, is identifying the things that are most important in your life, and then start eliminating everything else. This is all about simplifying your life, so that you can focus on the things that matter most to you and prevents you from getting distracted.

 

Here are some tips on Positive Change from the book “Switch”

How to, change, things when, change, is hardby Chip Heath and Dan Heath

Here are the facts:

Change, is a process.

1: Positive Change, is usually a situation problem, and not a personal problem.
2: For anything to, change, someone must behave differently.
3: To, change, someone’s behavior, you must, change, someone’s situation.
4: For, positive change, to stick you must influence the person’s heart and mind.

A Story on Positive Change

Arthur was an airborne paratrooper. Jumping out of airplanes killed his knees, his back, his legs. When he got out of the army he walked with a cane and couldn’t do anything so he gained a lot of weight. He could not support his weight, so he couldn’t do traditional exercise. His health rapidly declined. The doctor at the VA clinic told him to accept his faith, that he would never walk normal again.

One day while surfing the internet, he came across Diamond Dallas Page doing yoga. He said to himself, I could do this. So He bought the DVD! He figured he could use his arm to support his weight and get a cardio workout. Arthur was 297 lbs when he started doing yoga.
When he started his yoga exercises, he kept falling down and falling down, but he kept getting back up again and again!
Every day he got better and better in 10 months he had lost over 100 lbs and could not only walk without a cane but he could run!!

Change, is usually situational. Arthur had a situational problem.

Arthur taught himself to do yoga because he decided to take control of his life. He got his heart and mind in the game and changed the situation!

Change is a process.

To lead a process requires persistence. Arthur kept getting back up and trying again to do his exercises.

When a, positive change, starts, it builds on itself.
The better Arthur got at yoga, the more he was motivated to keep going.
Positive change,  can snowball.
Change, rarely works unless it is motivated by feeling. Arthur wanted to feel better about himself so he made the hard choices.

That’s my tip of the week from coach Myrna.

How to change when change is hard.

There can be nothing harder than trying to loose 100 lbs when you can’t use your legs; but Arthur found a way and so can you.

Our guest today is coach Dan Willms and he is a, positive change, guru. This is his space.

Dan Willms is a Life & Business Coach, an MBA Professor, a facilitator for The Leadership Challenge, a writer and an International Speaker – he is also the creator of the Positive Change Workshop and facilitates his workshops in Portuguese, English & Spanish. He has facilitated more than 118 Positive Change Workshops. He loves helping people and organizations to achieve their fullest potential. He is the co-author of the book Strategic Leadership (Liderança Estratégica) and the author of the upcoming book “Positive Change – One life @ a time”.

Dan is also my partner, we do a video blog on YouTube every week called “You asked for it” where we answer questions sent in from our social media network. Like us on Facebook to become part of our community. Myrna Young Lifecoach and Dan Willms.

Using I am Affirmations for Positive change

I am affirmations, formulate, affirm, and perpetuate the stories you tell yourself. Stories about who you are, who you can be, and what you can do. I Am affirmations, are a powerful way to, program yourself, for, positive change.

If you want to make a, change, start where you are. Start with who you are. Support yourself right here, before you have all the answers. Do that and you’ll feel more supported in the process. And that can, change, well, everything.

  1. I am a living, breathing example of the kind of world I want to live in.
  2. I am a powerful force for good in the world.
  3. I am on the right path. I am moving in the right direction.
  4. I am worthy of all things wonderful.
  5. I am being guided to what’s best for me and everyone else.
  6. I am powerful enough to live in accordance with my own values, desire, and truths.
  7. I am in the exact place I need to be to get to where I want to be.
  8. I am intentionally promoting a life filled with joy.
  9. I am a firm believer in my ideas.

Show notes Positive Change

Question 1. Tell us about your journey to becoming a Life coach and an ambassador for, positive change.
Question 2: What is The, Positive Change?
Question 3: Tell me about your happiness labs, how does it work?
Question 4: : What were your findings on these labs from your sample size of 400 people?
Question 5: So, based on your labs, what would you say is the secret to happiness?
Question 6: Why do you think is there so much unhappiness in the world?

Additional Resources

How to Transform your Career with Purpose

Do Not be Defeated: If You Build It They Will Come

If You Build It They Will Come,  How many of you have seen the movie, Field of Dreams. In my book: Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement, Chapter 7 is called, If you Build it they will come.

Iowa farmer Ray Kinsella hears a voice in his corn field tell him, If you build it they will come. He interprets this message as an instruction to build a baseball field on his farm, upon which appear the ghosts of Shoeless Joe Jackson and the other seven Chicago White Sox players banned from the game for throwing the 1919 World Series. When the voices continue, Ray seeks out a reclusive author to help him understand the meaning of the messages and the purpose for his field.

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All his life, Ray Kinsella was searching for his, field of dreams. Then one day, his, field of dreams,  came looking for him.

If you believe the impossible, the incredible can come true.

The, field of dreams, says, If you build it they will come.

Here are a few men who believed, If you Build it they will come

  1. Steve Jobs built Apple computers
    2. Henry Ford built the 8-cylinder engine
    3. Thomas Edison built the light bulb.

These are just a few examples of men who dared to dream and build something that would serve others.

But this phrase does not only apply to baseball fields and technology.
Anything you build, they will come. If you build IT they will come, the IT can be anything you can think of.
Put another way

 “whatever your plant will grow. Learn to reap where you plant

Whatever you put your attention on, increases.

What is your, field of dreams?

What are the voices in your dreams telling you to build?

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In my book “Out of the Snares” the voices in my head, my field was “my promised land”

The voices in my dreams kept telling me, if I built it they will come.  My promised land, I would leave a Legacy for my children.

I have internalized this phrase. It has become my truth. I know without a shadow of doubt, that if I build it they will come. Anything I build, they will come.

As a Life coach and motivational speaker, I am building my business now. I built my radio show and podcast and now I have listeners around the world. I have built my brand on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. I blog several times per month. I have authored 3 books.

https://myhelps.us/books/

 

This is how I am building, and they are coming.

Here is a story to illustrate, that if you build it they will come. It is about the mother of a Downs Syndrome child who wanted to attend college. The College had to build a program for inclusion of special needs students. They built it, and the students came, proving, that, if you build it they will come.

Several years ago, a young woman attending a special needs graduate course there piped up at the end of class and asked her professor, “What is this college doing for inclusion?” The professor thought a moment and then turned it into a homework assignment (“The other students hated me,” she laughed.): Design and write out what you think a college program for special needs should look like. If ,Field of Dreams, taught us anything, If you build it they will come.

The students designed what became the University Participant (UP) Program, a fully inclusive 2-year program–full residence, dorms, classes, work, support, communication, goals, accountability–and soon found one student with special needs who wanted to come. “We were building the airplane as we were flying it,” Dr. Kelly Kelley remembers. “So you built it,” I asked, “but how did you fund it?” “Passion,” she quickly answered. Speaking of passion, let me explain how I landed in North Carolina last week. Right before Nella’s birthday this year, I received an e-mail from Liz, another mom of a little girl with Down syndrome.

I had written a post expressing interest in organizations helping adults with Down syndrome, specifically in relation to post-secondary educational opportunities. Liz responded, telling me about Ruby’s Rainbow, the organization she and her husband had just started in 2011, providing scholarships for people with Down syndrome to attend college. In four years, Ruby’s Rainbow has already helped fund 42 people’s college dreams. The thing is, a lot of people don’t realize that “people with Down syndrome attending college” is even a phrase. And how can we raise money for it if people don’t know it exists? I wanted to help bring attention to the incredible work Liz and Ruby’s Rainbow is doing, but I was also curious–what does this even look like? One phone call with Liz, and we were scheming.

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Let’s go to college. Let’s go visit two Ruby’s Rainbow scholarship recipients and let them tell the story. Let’s peek into the window of possibilities for our own girls. Let’s see what can happen when one person begins with a question: “What are we doing to help? “ Thanks to an incredibly accommodating college that quickly set up a full day’s agenda to give us a thorough day-in-the-life experience, and two individuals who were eager to share their story with us, we were on our way early Wednesday morning last week to make the two-hour drive from our hotel to Cullowhee, North Carolina. Our first stop: The Office of Residential Living where Zach gets paid to work 10 hours a week as an office assistant to supplement his college experience. A handsome young man, sharply dressed, stepped away from his computer to greet us when we arrived. He shook our hands and introduced himself, answered our questions about what he does and paused to answer the phone when it rang or tend to the front desk when his office mate asked for help.

Now some of you know that sometimes, okay most times, especially for startup companies “You build it, they do Not come.”

This article talks about Entrepreneurship and building a new company. Building and they not come.
https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/251900

Sometimes you have to go get the clients instead of waiting for them to come.

Here is an excerpt that displays If you build it they will come

I am not sure my version of this quote would have worked for Kevin Costner and the movie, Field of Dreams, but it would certainly have saved countless entrepreneurs from disappointment and defeat.
There’s no shortage of savvy startups that will never get off the ground or designer duds that won’t grace the catwalk. Just because a product is out there doesn’t guarantee that consumers will come. Great ideas without equally great promotion are as good as non-existent.
It’s just like the age old question?

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?

The same can be said for great ideas and products. If consumers never discover or buy them, are they still great? I have fallen victim to the false pretense that if I only built something, consumers would come right over and consume it. But my first failed business taught me otherwise.
At the ripe old age of 21, I managed to convince two successful entrepreneurs — after multiple pitch meetings and business plan revisions — to invest in my media company, despite the fact that I knew nearly nothing about media.

What I wanted was to create the leading online men’s lifestyle magazine, complete with highlights on where to eat, what to wear, where to travel — and I called it Debonair. The idea was much more novel in the early 2000’s before the flood of publications now devoted to gents — and the idea was good (Thrills and Urban Daddy launched similarly oriented sites shortly after to much success).
They wrote me a check for $100,000 and just like that I was in business. But contrary to my mistaken notion, it wasn’t as simple as having the seed money, building the site and just watching everything fall into place. I believed that, if you build it they will come. I wasn’t popping champagne and toasting with the big boys like I thought I’d be. Not even close. The next two years were trying times, and I was swimming in a sea of startups that knew more than I did.

I poured every dollar I had into a fancy website with what I believed were all the right bells and whistles and pricey photography that had made glossy magazines so sought after and I figured that was all it would take. When the traffic didn’t come, I blamed it on the site design, the logo, the font, the layout, the photos. I became victim to the “better is the enemy of best” syndrome, redoing the same thing over and over and over again trying to perfect it for the public. By the time I bypassed the fluff changes and figured out search engine optimization, pay-per-click, buying lists and marketing — it was too late.
I lost every last cent of my seed money, and Debonair flopped.

If you build it they will come so become a visionary

Five years later, I tried again. This time with Sourcing Journal, a trade publication.
Unless your jeans have three legs, it isn’t a new idea. If you want to build a brand, build it. Forget the wealthy heirs to family businesses or those who get large venture capital funding. If that isn’t you, like it wasn’t me, you will have to be a doer and figure it out. Go get some orders, no matter what product you have. Borrow money for purchase order financing to produce the product and pay the too-high rates if need be. Be scrappy, be an entrepreneur, make it happen.

Focus on distribution. Technology has changed the game, so use it to help get the word out there, build hype and sell, sell, sell. Do not wait for the people to come because you could be waiting a long time. Knock down the proverbial door and keep going. And when you get that order from Barneys, or Macy’s or Bed Bath and Beyond, call me. I’d be happy to make that product for you.
Not because you built it, but because you got it built it, and they did not come. hem to come proving that, if you build it they will come.

Here Are Five Reasons That, If You Build It They Will Come.

1. Make sure that there is a need for what you are building. If you are a startup company. Do your research, know the demographics of your target market.
2. Be prepared to keep at it until you win. If something does not work, change your approach. If that does not work, change it again. Keep changing your approach until you win. There is a winning solution and that is, lucid dreaming! Most people give up when success is just around the corner. Don’t let fear sidetrack you.
3. You must see the vision. If you don’t see it, you can never be positive that you will win. It will be like a pie in the sky. Something hoped for, but unattainable.
4. You must have a burning desire to win. You live the phrase “failure is not an option.” The desire must consume you. There is no better example of this than the Sylvester Stallone story. Sylvester refused $100,000 for his script “Rocky” when he had no money to eat. He then sold his dog for $50.00 to buy food. His burning desire was to star in his screen play. He built it and they came!
5. Keep hitting the Anvil. Do something every day that brings you closer to your “field of dreams.”

Additional Resources:

https://blog.myhelps.us/principle-1-keep-your-vision-in-front-of-you/

How Women Get a Seat at the Table

Women are you invisible in the boardroom and have no say? Do men listen when you speak? If the answer is no, then find out how to get, a seat at the table.

In this episode I interview Kimberley Bussey Lewis, Author of , A Seat At The Table, Or Part Of The Meal: Creating A Culture Of Diversity

How did you come to become passionate about, diversity and inclusion, for, women of color?

How to Get a Seat at The Table

I first really started thinking about, a seat at the table,  when I was a very young reporter in Charleston, South Carolina.  I was the only female reporter at the time within this 600 person company.  And what I was struck by is that there were so many decisions that were being made that we would complain about; but none of us had, a seat at the table, to help make those decisions.

I realized that if I didn’t have a place in the room that I was both invisible and silent; so it didn’t matter how much I complained or how much I didn’t like what was going on or simply just didn’t understand it because I was not part of the discussion; I needed, a seat at the table.

So that’s where my passion for, diversity and inclusion, was born.

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CNN wrote a column on getting, a seat at the table, for women. They were discussing congresswoman Harris, basically what they’re saying was that women are invisible and they have no say.  When they speak no one listens.  So I understand what you are saying.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

What happens when there is no seat at the table

I stayed in that company as a reporter without, a seat at the table, about 12 years.  It took me that long to get that awakening.  Sometimes we think that we are fortunate to have a job so we don’t want to stir the pot.  I just increasingly became more and more of a little rebel challenging the status quo. Eventually I left  and ventured out to write my first book.   I was scared to death.  Because here I am I’m going to write a book, I’m going to leave my job.  I took a leave of absence to write the book;  but it was really a step of faith and in writing the book and doing the research.

I became energized when I interviewed older relatives, my mother and great-aunt who were already in their 80s and 90s at the time. I  became energized by their tenacity as, Black women. I knew that we had a lot of strong men in my family, but my eyes are really flew open at the strength of the, black women, and how they held businesses up,  they held a family up and the men of the family up, and brought us all together.

I stumbled into the nonprofit arena by my volunteer work. I was volunteering and working on writing the  book and one thing led to another.  I got to a small job at an organization that was run by a, black woman, who became my mentor.  She took me under her wing and even though I was  just volunteering she taught me so much about strength and tenacity and making your voice count.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Diversity and Inclusion for Women of Color

Her company was called Family Assistance Management Services

And she was the first black female insurance broker in SC. She had been a full time teacher before she built quite a nest egg with her husband. They owned several pieces of property in Charleston SC. She then became a broker and started several businesses, an insurance company, a computer training clinic all kinds of other businesses, because she had a passion for helping people.

You got your feet wet on the nonprofit arena and but it sounds like you have, a seat at the table, at Goodwill Industries. Why you write the book, “A Seat at the Table or a part of the meal?”

I was born in September 1964 a month after the discrimination Act, and my parents had not long moved to Charleston, SC. All of my siblings, I  have one brother and two sisters, they had all been born at home in the country by a midwife so since it was now illegal for place public places to discriminate my father thought, well I will take my wife to this nice Hospital for my fourth child to be born.  So my mother was in labor he rushes her down to this hospital the Medical University of South Carolina and by this time she’d begun to hemorrhage as I was a breech baby.

It was pouring down rain and he got my mom into the emergency area into the lobby and he started screaming for the doctors to come and help they turned looked at them and turned their backs right away.  All the white doctors and nurses ignored them, so he ran up to them and screamed my wife is bleeding you got to help her and someone told him to just sit down we’ll get to you.

So he scooped her up, put her in a wheelchair and ran with her down the street to the black Hospital. McLennan banks Hospital in the pouring rain with my mom gripping for life on that wheelchair.  He pushed her up into the emergency area and as soon as they saw that she was drenched in blood they rushed her into the emergency room and delivered me.  The doctor who delivered me was a, woman of color, from  South Africa and he named me Kimberly after the Kimberly diamond mines.

Black Women are born to be at the table

It sounds like you were born in to do this work!

I was tried of being the only, Black woman, in the room. I felt we as, Black women, have to do something to get , a seat at the table. If anyone was going to wave that flag of, diversity and inclusion, equity and of, diversity, it should be Goodwill Industries. So it really began then.  We started a task force with a group of CEOs and started to study, diversity and inclusion, and equity programs with fortune 500 companies and fortune 100 companies and other nonprofit organizations. We studied who was doing it well, what were they looking at, what were the metrics and how do you build that diverse pipeline.  We came up an implementation plan.

We were really intentional about attracting, maintaining and keeping a, diversity, workforce.  Whether it is individuals who are Hispanic or individuals who African-American or LGTBQ or disabled.  We recognize that all of that build a table of, diversity.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean

The first time that I heard the phrase, a seat at the table, was from one of my coaching clients and I’ve heard it several times since. I heard Gabrielle Union say it that she’s just gonna make her own table because you know the black actresses in Hollywood are still working to, get a seat at the table.  They go through the same discrimination with, diversity and inclusion.  It’s not just in Corporate America or in the board rooms.

Women of Color getting a seat at the table

Kimberly you have, a seat at the table,  what advice would you give to women who are hitting the glass ceiling and get, no seat at the table.

African-American women unfortunately have been absent from the room!  We have not even been invited into the room much less have, a seat at the table, for quite some time.  Women in general have been hitting the glass ceiling for quite a long time.  I’ve heard that men are hired based on what their hiring manager or that supervisor thinks that they can do while women are hired or promoted based on performance.  it is that way because the majority of the, seats at the table, are already held by men.  Predominantly white males and they look for men who look like act like they came from where they come from.

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Black women in order to get, a seat at the table,  have to do 3 things:

  1. They have to network. It’s all about relationships. Else there is, no seat at the table. Everything that you do is about relationships and it’s about networking.  If you didn’t grow up playing golf, learn.  Go around places and do things that make you feel uncomfortable. But you must be part of the conversation. Go to the theater,  go to the Opera, you could serve as an usher and get free tickets.
  2. Get a mentor – All women should have a mentor.
  3. Get a Sponsor – a sponsor and a mentor are two different people. A mentor is someone that you can talk to about your fears and your aspirations. A mentor can give you sound advice and can talk you through some of the issues that you’re having and help you create a plan a plan of attack.

A sponsor on the other hand is going to be that person who’s going to make sure that you’re invited to that meeting.  They’re going to take you under their wing.  They’re going to make sure that there’s a place for you in the conversation and that there is, diversity and inclusion, that you are a part of the discussion. Sponsors are usually white males.

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Book: Seat at the table

Have you ever wished that you had the information to elevate the conversation at work on how to build a culture of diversity, equity and inclusion?  Well, now you do; with my newly published book A Seat At The Table or Part of the Meal, by Kimberly Bussey Lewis.  This book will give you examples of intentional efforts that will level the playing field and yield dividends for your career and your company. The book can be found on Amazon – A Seat at the Table Or Part of the Meal, by Kimberly Bussey Lewis or on www.motivationalmuse.com, so get your copy today and your seat at the table.

 

Additional Resources, A Seat at the Table

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

How to Ask for a Raise or Anything you Want in Life.

What are the, Secrets to Success,? Here are my 10 Secrets

https://www.demos.org/research/taking-our-seat-table-black-women-overcoming-social-exclusion-politics#Black-Women%E2%80%99s-Leadership:-Making-a-Way-out-of-No-Way

https://www.talentintelligence.com/blog/bid/377611/inclusion-and-the-benefits-of-diversity-in-the-workplace