You can motivate yourself with the 3 P’s Patience Persistence and Positivity. Learn, how to motivate yourself, with the power of, positive thinking.
Introduction to Positive Thinking
Synopsis of, Patience, Let’s say you are stranded in the woods. It is dark and it is cold. You need to make a fire to stay warm and to cook anything you can catch. You find a dry stick and a hollow branch and you set about rubbing the stick and the branch together feverishly. You keep this up, rubbing and blowing patiently hoping to create a spark that could be nursed into a fire. You keep rubbing, and blowing. You have all day and all night….. you have, positive thinking, because if you don’t you will surely freeze to death.
Persistence, – When you get tired you take a short break and then you get back to work. You tell yourself, “The fire will start”.
Positivity, You believe the fire will start. You keep your, positivity, by telling yourself “I will have fire, I will stay warm, I will have food to cook and eat”. You let none of the negative thoughts that pop into your head linger, you send them back immediately. Negative thoughts such as, you don’t know how to a make fire, you are not a cave man, maybe the bush is wet and it will not light, you will die of hunger and cold because no one will find you.
No.. as soon as any of these thoughts come into your mind, you reject them and send them back!. You keep rubbing and blowing with increased vigor. You tell yourself “I shall live and not die”.
I use this vision to encourage myself when I am working hard and not seeing results. I need, patience, to keep on working hard knowing that one day I will succeed. I need, persistence, to do it every day and, positivity, to believe that I will succeed one day.
You can do the same. Find an inspirational story and use it as your map. Some real life examples are Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone. Arnold built his empire and muscles,
One bicep at a time.
Arnold had the, patience, and the, persistence, to stick with his dream of becoming a world champion and playing the part of Hercules in the United States of America. His, Patience, Persistence, and, Positivity, assured him success.
Sylvester Stallone had to sell his dog for $50.00 because he was starving; but he had, patience, to wait until someone offered him the starring role for the script for Rocky, Persistence, to keep pedaling it to over 1500 studios in New York and the belief and, positivity, that he will succeed…… and he did.
You write a to-do list… but then you don’t follow through.
And this happens again and again and again. Seriously, what’s the problem?
You are not, motivated, So how do you, motivate, yourself?
Why are we so good at thinking of what to do; but so terrible at actually, motivate yourself, to actually doing those things?
Procrastination is a mood-management technique, albeit (like eating or taking drugs) a shortsighted one. But we’re most prone to it when we think it will actually help… Well, far and away the most procrastination occurred among the bad-mood students who believed their mood could be changed and who had access to fun distractions. Motivate, yourself so you can leave procrastination in the dust.
How to use, Patience, to, Motivate, Yourself
Meryl Streep on, Patience:
I no longer have, patience, for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I, motivate, myself by have a low threshold for time wasters. I have no, patience, for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate.
I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no, patience, for anyone who does not deserve my, patience.”
The Power of Positive Thinking
The most famous work of Dr. Emoto was published in 1999 and is called ‘Messages from Water,’ which has sold millions of copies all over the world. In the book, Dr. Emoto explains in detail that what we say, feel, and what we listen to has an effect on water. The research clearly shows how the power of, positivity, can transform anything in our physical reality. He uses water as an example. Since human beings are made up primarily of water (60-75% depending on the source), water has a direct effect on us.
Dr. Emoto placed rice into three glass beakers and then fills the beakers with enough water to submerge the rice. To the first beaker, he states the phrase (in Japanese): “Thank you,” “You’re an idiot” to the second, and ignores the third.
A month later, the rice that was thanked fermented and gave a pleasant smell. The rice that was affronted turned black. Finally, the rice that was ignored began to rot. These depictions of the rice are clear in the video of the experiment.
In the end, Dr. Emoto is pictured explaining that how we treat children is especially important. According to Emoto, we should take special care in how we interact with them and ensure that attention is given. He explained that indifference does the greatest amount of harm, as demonstrated by the third beaker of rice in the video. It’s amazing how the jar with positive words was still white and fresh, when in our reality we would at least believe that it would definitely start to go bad. Amazing! That’s the power of, positivity, at work.
Millennials, need parents teaches or coaches to stimulate their, personal development. Millennials, need to understand that, personal development, comes when they anticipate the very next phase beyond the one there’re in, so they can be prepared for it when it arrives.
Introduction to, Personal Development for, Millennials
Today what we want to focus on is giving, Millennials, some clarity on, personal growth and development. We both know that learning should not stop when we leave school. My guest today is Arika Pierce author of the book The Millennial’s Playbook to Adulting.
Myrna – What advice would you give, Millennials, on, personal growth? Millennials, are in the growth stage of life, what advice would you give them? I know in your book you give ten tips. We don’t have time to talk on all ten, personal development, tips; but pick some of the top ones and share how you would advise, Millennials, on, personal growth and development.
Arika- I think especially after you get out of school, Millennials, are sort of over trying to learn from textbooks. People are just exhausted from that textbook and learning from your professors and things like that; So I do encourage, Millennials, to become students of life.
By that I mean opening your eyes to all the things that you can learn from different people, new experiences just being open to continuing to stretch your horizon and to be multifaceted and to be just a well-rounded person. In my book, for example:
I suggest things such as reading biographies about people that you’re curious about for, personal development, or maybe who you want to know. Learn more about their path.
I also believe that you should do things like watch documentaries on Netflix about different types of topics that you might be interested in or just want to know more about.
I also think listening to podcasts that’s huge for, personal development, and that’s why I love your podcast. I listen to podcast really throughout my day on various types of topics, it could be something around, personal development, by expanding your mindset, it could be something around the news, it could be anything. There’s so much out there that you can really stretch your mind and learn.
Going to different types of events. I always tell people if you get invited, go to something and especially if it’s something that you probably would be interested in doing. Go to the Opera, go to a hockey game even though you don’t know what’s going on, go to a book talk, go to a wine tasting, whatever it is just expand your horizon and, personal development.
Learning does not stop once you walk across the stage. You should always every day be learning more about yourself, about life, about other people, just always be curious and be a student of the world and of life.
Myrna – Awesome, that’s some good advice I love the podcast one because that’s a big one. I actually showed my mom just yesterday how to put podcasts on her phone.
That’s the space that we’re in right now. I will tell you I started listening to podcast just to learn what some of the successful podcasters are doing. If there’s something you want to learn, you go to an event, you go to book signing. That’s why people write books. You can take ten years to learn something or you can take ten minutes to read how someone else did it in a book, and that’s the purpose of books.
I wanted to learn how to be better at what I do, so I started listening to podcast. You would not believe how my mind has been expanded. I subscribe to TuneIn radio, so that I can research how that works and what Hot Talk radio was all about. I happened to come across the Hay House World Summit podcast and you would not believe what I’ve been learning.
I listen to podcasts every morning when I walk. I walk for an hour every day, so I that’s my learning time and I my eyes are wide open because this podcast have guest speakers all the top people in the spirituality and consciousness and health space.
I try to bring good content on this show so that people can plug in and hear something inspiring and mindset shifting. This podcast is not all about shooting the breeze. I went through your book and I made a note of some of the things that you mentioned and I’ll mention a couple of them because it’s very important you talked about:
How Millennials can Shift their mindset for, personal development
• Keeping your mind healthy. You start off by talking about depression. Depression is very big right now. I don’t know where it’s coming from, but a lot of people are depressed, even the ones that you think should be happy, that has a lot of money. Still trouble with depression. You start out by saying, keep your mind healthy and that’s very important when you talk about staying motivated.
• Find a healthy outlet. Journaling, painting, baking, etc and stuff like that that keeps your mind healthy. I talked about journaling, I think it’s great but it’s not for everybody. I think you know it’s not something some people can do it every single day, some people just do it on a periodic basis. I believe don’t be hard on yourself about doing it, but if sometimes you need a place to get your thoughts get your feelings out thinking on paper can honestly be a great way to do that.
• Getting into healthy routines. I just wrote a blog that’s coming out next week about a morning routine. I think establishing a morning routine is a great, personal development, tool and can help you set the intention and tone for the rest of your day and so actually think sitting down and thinking about what you want your routine to be and doing it that could be transformative. I’ve just recently sort of created a new morning routine and it really has changed my mindset for the whole day. Just making sure there are these five or six things that I do before I start my day.
That’s awesome, you know again as you talk my mind goes to certain things and I was just listening to a podcast where Barbara Corrigan was speaking and we all know her from Shark Tank. She has done a lot for herself, she said something that I did as a little variation for what you just said. She said write down the things that you like to do and write down the things you don’t like to do and instead of trying to do the things you don’t like to do, and then find an assistant or an intern and delegate the things you don’t like to do.
If you’re still trying to just figure out what direction you want to go in life, I think that’s a great time to get it to get a, Life coach. Honestly I think the hardest part is just identifying what exactly you need the, Life coach, for sometimes you want the, Life coach, to help you with your, personal development plan, in terms of where you want to take your career.
Sometimes it could be helping you balance your work versus your personal life. You might need a, Life coach just in terms of helping you get to the next level of your dreams and, self improvement. There’s all different types of ways you can leverage and use a, Life coach. I really think that it’s never too soon to do that.
Today, there’s lots of, Life coaches who focus on the, millennial, generation, which I think is great. I think those people really understand what the, millennials, are going through and can really help them work through all of those challenges. I wasn’t focused on the, millennial, generation until I recognized that my daughter being a, millennial, and her struggles and the things that she needs help with and then I put them two and two together.
I thought what there’s lots of people in that bucket that could do maybe good guidance and direction. Yeah so you’re right, I haven’t come across a lot of, millennial, coaches; but I know that, Millennials, are the generation that’s moving the bucket in a lot of areas. That’s because they’re a large group, they’re the movers and the shakers.
So as we continue our discussion on, personal development, as a, millennial, I want to ask this question. In your book Arika, you give advice on how to care for your body so how can we incorporate caring for your body with, personal growth and development?
I believe that when you work on your mind, when you strengthen your mind, a lot of that has to also be your body and soul, they’re all connected. When you are taking care of yourself when you’re eating right, when you’re exercising, I believe your mind is just in a different place. You feel those endorphins, everything is flowing. I had a workout this morning where I came up with three different things while I was working out that I wanted to incorporate.
When you feel good you just can really, transform your mindset, in a very positive way. I believe that when you are you believe that you’re invincible, and start taking care of yourself, eating right, making sure you’re drinking enough water, making sure that you know you’re working out on a regular basis, making sure you’re meditating, when all of those are aligned I believe that your life in terms of what you want to do, in terms of having the energy to do them, all falls into a, personal development plan. You get into the, personal growth and development, space. But you can’t take your body for granted, because we actually only get one and you know if your body isn’t right usually everything else isn’t right either.
That’s awesome, I was listening I was listening to Louise Hay, she was talking about something that she calls the mirror work. She says is that women especially should go in front of the
mirror every day when they wake up, when they look their worst and they should say to themselves, “ I love you, you are so awesome.” I have no problem with self-love, I love myself, but I still do it every morning. I look myself in the eye and I say “I love you you’re awesome.” What she’s trying to do with that little exercise is bring exactly what you’re talking about the mind-body connection. Millennials, have a problem with self love.
Millennials, and Self Love
When you love the body that you’re in, when you love you, then it transcends into every area of your life, it transcends into your, self confidence, it transcends into what you put in your body, how you treat it, how you let people treat you. There’s definitely a correlation with exercise into listening and connecting to your higher self. I wrote my entire first book and it was called ironically “Becoming Conscious, my Awakening” be connecting with my higher self.
I would go for run in the morning and all the words would come to me. I would go to the car right after and start writing. I will tell you if I tried if I tried to circumvent and write at night or something it wouldn’t go as smooth, because then I’ll be trying to force it, but when it just comes to me it came to me when I was running, the words just flowed.
Like when you were exercising this morning. So the mind-body connection is very important, and that’s why I decided to include it in our topic today, because a lot of people do not care for their body and especially when they’re young, millennials, and they don’t have any aches and pains, they kind of ignore it.
I was listening to another podcast just yesterday again on the Hay House World Summit and listened to Ocean Robbins, I love his name, I told my daughter she has to name my grandchild Ocean. He is actually is the grandson of Baskin Robbins and he had an incredible story about how his grandfather ate ice cream all day long, he had at least 21 flavors in his fridge at all times.
He ate ice cream for breakfast and lunch! When he got to 70 years old, he had all these health problems because of the diet that he had all his life. He had heart problems but his story ended well, because started eating well, he started doing certain things, eating well, including cutting out ice cream and he was still able to turn it around. That’s not an encouragement for anybody listening to wait until they’re in their 70’s and in poor health to get started on a, personal development plan, for a healthy lifestyle, but do it now.
How, Millennials, develop a, Personal Development Plan: Jim Rohn
Most, Millennials, are in school, I think a lot of, Millennials, go on to higher education. They’re working on feeding their mind and, personal growth, education and career and things like that. The reason I talked about, personal growth, because as a, Life coach, I know that there’s a difference. Jim Rohn’s personal development growth plan, is a popular, personal development plan. Tony Robbins talks about Jim Rohn’s growth plan in his back story. I would like to hear your spin on the difference between studying for a career and actually, personal growth.
Arika – When we think about, personal growth and development, as you just said that that’s very connected to what you are focused on career-wise, your job. I think when you start to think about what you want to personally achieve for yourself, that may or may not be connected to your professional life, because there definitely is some overlap between the two.
I think really people just have to always think about looking inside and how do they define themselves, outside of their career. Millennials, you’re thinking about how you want to define yourself as a person and defining yourself as a person is not just what your career is and so it’s very easy to get into a life pattern. You only focus and your own the only thing that you know to that you gravitate to in terms of your growth, in terms of your brand.
When you ask “What is your, personal development plan” which is now something I heard from Brian Tracy he talks about you know spending all his money when he was a youngster to purchase something that called a, personal growth, plan. If I was to ask a, Millennial, they might answer in terms of there career trajectory. But that is not a, personal development, plan because it’s only it is only touching on one area of a multi-faceted spiritual being.
Deepak Chopra is one of the people that I follow and I love, he talks about asking “who are you?” who is the person that’s doing the listening right now? You ask yourself these questions “Who am I?” “What am I here to do?” You just ask God that question and even let God answer. Your, personal development plan links up to your purpose.
Learn different ways you can develop your, personal development, business, organization and, personal growth, skills.
Strategies for, personal development, can be found on the Transform Your Mind Podcast.
Without a plan your, goals, are just a dream. The most important ingredient for success is a plan!
A plan is usually the distinguishing feature in the success or failure of any, goal.
A study of 100 students in business school found that 66% of students that wrote a business plan succeeded in business even though the business plan was not an accurate accounting of where the business ended up. It seemed that just formulating a plan makes you succeed because it creates a visionary.
Here are 5 strategies to help you achieve your, goals:
1. Faith, You must believe in yourself.
A dream or can inspire you and motivate you to action only if you Believe that you can make it happen.
Some don’ts:
Don’t have a, plan B.
When you have a, plan B, you are telling your subconscious that you don’t believe that the plan “A” is going to work.
Don’t tell yourself that your, goal, is not realistic. Just remember to reap where you plant.
“If you can think it you can achieve it” ~~Ophra Winfrey
Watch your self-talk and internal dialogue.
Eg. Your, goal, is to be Regional Vice President Sales but; you tell yourself it will never happen because your boss does not like you. Whether that is a fact or not, you will never be promoted to Regional Vice President Sales until you replace that thought with a winning one.
2. Clarity – Your , goals, must be clear.
What do you want? What is your destination end? What is the vision?
Would you like “Peace of mind?”
Would you like “Financial freedom, and security?”
Would you like “A higher quality of life for you and your family?”
It is not more money. It is not to own your own home your, goals, are what you are going to get from achieving these things.
Chris Gardner calls this “stop digging your potatoes”
There is never a better time than the present.
Don’t wait until you have the time to upgrade your education.
Don’t wait until you are fired from the job you hate to look for a better one.
Stop making excuses and jump in.
4. Understand your past to gain, clarity, for your, goals
Your past has valuable information about who you are and why you are. It is a storehouse of information.
“Those who cannot remember the past is bound to repeat it.”
It has evidence of where you get stuck, evidence of what you do when the going gets tough, which road do you choose, evidence of your beliefs.
Examine the movie of your life and understand the lessons this helps with self-mastery.
All experiences from your personal library are valuable to create self-awareness.
5. Understand your Why. Why do you want to achieve this, goal.
Why do you want to leave a Legacy?
Why would you like financial freedom?
It is the general belief that the organizing power of the Universe will help those whose, goals, are to serve humanity. Your Why should benefit others and not just yourself.
How to set Goals vs Objectives
Whether you’re working on a team project or defining, goals, for an entire company, it’s critical your employees are on the same page when it comes to terminology.
Goal setting, is different from objectives, often seem like two interchangeable phrases. “We have ambitious, goals, for the new year,” you might tell your marketing team, following up with, “Our objectives are aggressive, but entirely possible.”
When used in a marketing context, it’s easy to misconstrue. To ensure efficiency and unity, then, it’s vital your employees are up-to-date on the two terms you likely use when outlining your quarterly and yearly strategy.
Motivation for Goals is Purpose
Goals, are also different from purpose, are almost similar and one could hardly come across any difference between the two at one glance. Purpose and, clarity, are interlinked, because purpose is the, motivation. .
One of the main differences that can be seen between the two is in the time factor. People try to reach their achievements by setting deadlines. On the other hand, deadlines are not applicable in a purpose.
It can be called as the point one wishes to achieve. On the other hand, purpose can be called as the reason one aims at to achieve a goal. Unlike purposes, goals always go forward in a specific direction.
Purpose, which is all about direction, is that something that influences drive. Unlike dreams purpose is broader and deeper.
Purpose is directly influenced by the values and beliefs one holds. Purpose is deeply rooted in a person. Unlike goals, purpose can b said to be central to human life.
Goals, and purpose, can be measured whereas purpose cannot be measured. The end result can be seen whereas in purpose, it is not that visible. Achievement, aims that a person seeks. It is that which one wants to accomplish. It involves the establishing of specific, realistic and attainable objectives.
Goals, have a specific target. On the other hand, Purpose does not have a specific aim. Goals, can be short term, long term or personal. However, a purpose cannot be short or long term but only pertains to something personal.
Purpose can be termed as a fundamental need of a human being, which gives a meaning to his actions.
Mindfulness Meditation, is not just for Buddhists and monks. Meditation, unlocks the power you have within to take your business to the top.
When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, spirituality, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self. As many successful entrepreneurs know, reduced stress is the foundation to creating the business and lifestyle you want. If you are not removing your limiting beliefs and constantly working on your vision, you are limiting your own growth and the growth of your company. You are the lid!
Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation
As a leader or an Entrepreneur there is no better way to overcome obstacles, rise to the top or be creative with out first quieting the noise in your head. When you become still you tap into your creative power by connecting to your source. During, mindfulness meditation, you experience that peace that surpasses all understanding that the bible talks about. When you forget about all the things you have to do and just focus on the life inside you by witnessing your breathing, you move closer to becoming conscious and understand your purpose. Being quiet and still allows you to listen to instructions from the higher power who guides you. It is said that it is easier to guide a horse in the direction it is running in; so when you fall into line with what God wants you to do for his Kingdom then your business and your life become less of a struggle.
The reasons we practice, mindfulness meditation, are as varied as the many ways there are to, meditate. In the West, most people are drawn to, mindfulness meditation, to quiet the internal chatter of the brain and to reduce stress. Mindfulness meditation, is indeed a very effective stress reducer, but its benefits—sometimes mysteriously hidden—are far more bountiful. The actual act of, mindfulness meditation, can be as simple as sitting quietly and focusing on your breath while repeating silently a, mantra, a word or phrase. for example the, om mantra, or the Gayatri mantra. There are countless traditions and no singular “correct” way to practice, mindfulness meditation.
Find a practice that you like and stick with it for a while. Notice how you feel as you go about your days. If you find that you have more patience, feel grounded and better able to respond to stressful situations, and are more in touch with your intuition or “gut feelings,” you are enjoying the many benefits of, mindfulness meditation.
I practice, mindfulness meditation, by finding a quiet place in the morning as I drink my coffee. I listen to a, guided mindfulness meditation, tape on topics such as “activating consciousness“, visionary me meditation, “the law of attraction” etc. as I listen I clear my mind by mentally repeating a centering thought and witnessing my breathing. At the end of my meditation I am relaxed, totally open and creative. I usually write some deep insights after my meditation sessions and I get answers from God and the Universe to questions I ask. This is the perfect way to become a visionary and an innovate leader.
Mindfulness Meditation, is good for our Physical Bodies
Scientists gathering data on, mindfulness meditation, have found that a consistent practice of, mantra meditation, not only boosts the mind, but it also bolsters the body. Studies shows that, meditation, can help reverse heart disease, reduce pain, and support the immune system, better enabling it to fight disease.
The mind-body connection between stress and disease is abundantly apparent as science is finding that, mindfulness meditation, can lower production of the stress hormone cortisol. This means, mediators, are better able to adapt to stress in their lives.
2: Mindfulness Meditation, is good for Our Relationships
Paradoxically, while, meditation, helps us tune in and turn inward to our true essence, it also helps us detach from our own egos to connect with others in more meaningful ways. Couples counselors have found when they assign their clients, mindfulness meditation, the couples become less angry, more self-reflective, and more loving. When we become aware of—and honor—our interconnection with other beings, we are able to recast our perspectives, see our worries in a different light, and embrace gratitude, which is the heart’s memory.
The bible teaches that we can’t change others only ourselves and when we, meditate, we tune into who we really are. Our ancestral legacy is a brain that is primed to focus on negative experiences and has a tendency to get stuck in conditioned patterns of thinking, returning again and again to thoughts of anxiety, depression, and limitation. So in our relationships we tend to focus on what we do not have instead of what we do have. As you meditate on a regular basis, you develop what is known as “witnessing awareness”—the ability to calmly and objectively observe a situation, notice when you are being triggered, and consciously choose how you want to respond. The ability to be present and aware is extremely valuable in every relationship.
When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self. Yogis and doctors both agree, mindfulness meditation, even just a few minutes of deep breathing—relaxes the brain, reduces anxiety, and decreases depression. We say we can’t afford the time to, meditate, but the truth is we can’t afford not to. When we tell ourselves we don’t have time to exercise, or meditate, then we will make time for sickness and depression. During most of our waking lives, our minds are engaged in a continuous internal dialogue in which the meaning and emotional associations of one thought triggers the next.
We hear a snippet of music and suddenly we’re thinking about the first time we heard that song with an old boyfriend or girlfriend and how that relationship ended. If we’re still holding emotional pain over that ending, those feelings may bubble up and then our mind may veer into criticism, self-pity, or worries about the future. Mindfulness Meditation, is one of the best tools we have to counter the brain’s negativity bias, release accumulated stress, foster positive experiences and intentions, and enjoy the peace of present moment awareness. A large body of research has established that having a regular meditation practice produces tangible benefits for mental and physical health, including:
Decreased blood pressure and hypertension
Lowered cholesterol levels
Reduced production of “stress hormones,” including cortisol and adrenaline
More efficient oxygen use by the body
Increased production of the anti-aging hormone DHEA
4: Mindfulness Meditation, Reduces Stress and Burnout
What role is more stressful than the role of a Leader? None, as a Leader you are responsible for the lives of your employees, families, and your commitment to your community? Chronic, unmanaged stress can make you sick and accelerate aging. As many scientific studies have found, prolonged stress can contribute to:
high blood pressure,
heart disease,
stomach ulcers,
autoimmune diseases,
anxiety,
cancer,
insomnia,
chronic fatigue,
obesity,
depression,
and accelerated aging.
During, mindfulness meditation, your body releases stress and reverses the effects of the flight-or-fight response—that ancient instinct we all have to either run from perceived danger or take it on in battle. Intended as a short-term protection mechanism, fight or flight causes our body to speed up our heart rate, increase our blood sugar, suppress our immune system, reduce insulin production, pump out stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, and reduce the blood supply to our digestive organs. All of these reactions happen so that our body can focus on either running away as fast as it can—or staying to fight. Although few people reading this face daily threats to their bodily existence, many live in a prolonged state of fight or flight, generating stress in response to bad traffic, criticism from a spouse, or a disagreement.
Regular, meditation, dissipates accumulated stress and cultivates a state of restful alertness. There are many compelling studies showing the power of, mindfulness meditation, to relieve stress and promote inner calm. For example, a 2011 study published in the Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine Journal found that full-time workers who spent a few hours each week practicing, mindfulness meditation, reported a significant decrease in job stress, anxiety, and depressed mood. The reason, meditation, is so popular among successful individuals is it helps release stress, lets go of excess thoughts and expand awareness. As you dive deeper into your, mindfulness meditation, practice you see people events and circumstances as they really are, not as they are perceived to be. It allows you to have an internal Locus of control. That means that you don’t react to external stimuli but are proactive with action plans and goals. It also means that as challenges arise in your business, you will not get overwhelmed; but face those challenges calmly and efficiently. As an Entrepreneur Leader, meditation allows you to turn your failures into successes.
5: Mindfulness Meditation, Enhances Your Concentration, Memory, and Ability to Learn
As researchers have found, mindfulness meditation, can help you tap into your brain’s deepest potential to focus, learn, and adapt. While scientists used to believe that beyond a certain age, the brain couldn’t change or grow, we now know that the brain has a quality known as plasticity, enabling it to grow new neurons and transform throughout our lives. Meditation is a powerful tool for awakening new neural connections and even transforming regions of the brain. A recent study led by Harvard University and Massachusetts General Hospital found that after only eight weeks of meditation, participants experienced beneficial growth in the brain areas associated with memory, learning, empathy, self-awareness, and stress regulation. In addition, the meditators reported decreased feelings of anxiety and greater feelings of calm. This study adds to the expanding body of research about the brain’s amazing plasticity and ability to change habitual stress patterns.
Many other studies provide evidence for the value of, mindfulness meditation, in improving the ability to stay focused in world filled with increasing distractions, and demands on our attention. For example, research conducted by the UCLA Mindful Awareness Center showed that teenagers and adults with ADHD who practiced various forms of, meditation for just eight weeks improved their ability to concentrate on tasks, even when attempts were made to distract them. In the world of the Entrepreneur Leader, the ability to focus when you are pulled in so many different directions is extremely important to your success.
6: Mindfulness Meditation, Improves Your Creativity and Problem-Solving Skills in your Business
We each have an estimated 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day—unfortunately, many of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday, last week, and last year. The mind tends to get stuck in repetitive thought loops that squeeze out the possibility for new ideas and inspiration. Mindfulness meditation, is a powerful practice for going beyond habitual, conditioned thought patterns into a state of expanded awareness. We connect to what is known as the field of infinite possibilities or pure potentiality, and we open to new insights, intuition, and ideas. And as we meditate and focus on our breathing, we stop this continuous cycle.
7: Mindfulness Meditation, Decreases Anxiety, and Insomnia
The emotional effects of sitting quietly and going within are profound. The deep state of rest produced by, mindfulness meditation, triggers the brain to release neurotransmitters, including dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. Each of these naturally occurring brain chemicals has been linked to different aspects of happiness:
Dopamine plays a key role in the brain’s ability to experience pleasure, feel rewarded, and maintain focus. Serotonin has a calming effect. It eases tension and helps us feel less stressed and more relaxed and focused. Low levels of this neurotransmitter have been linked to migraines, anxiety, bipolar disorder, apathy, feelings of worthlessness, fatigue, and insomnia. Oxytocin (the same chemical whose levels rise during sexual arousal and breastfeeding), is a pleasure hormone. It creates feelings of calm, contentment, and security, while reducing fear and anxiety. Endorphins are most commonly known as the chemicals that create the exhilaration commonly labeled “the runner’s high.” These neurotransmitters play many roles related to well being, including decreasing feelings of pain and reducing the side effects of stress.
“The goal of the, executive coach, is the goal of good management and that is to make the most of an organization’s valuable human resources.” – Harvard Business Review Organizations that embrace the culture that their employees and leaders are their most valuable resources, invest in the development of these resources.
Life Coach Myrna Young
Introduction to, Executive Coaching
There are four commonly used tools for improving human performance:
Coaching,
Consulting,
Training, and
Therapy
There are important differences between them. Just as it is important to know when to hire a consultant, it is equally important to know the when and why for using an, executive coach.
Executives claimed expanded thinking through dialogue and powerful questioning from an, executive coach. Dialogue, fueled through powerful questions, is at the heart of the, executive coaching, process. In coaching conversations, executives think out loud, become more reflective and gain access to their own tacit knowledge and unexplored ideas.The, executive coach, role is to act as a sounding board, confidant, partner, challenger and catalyst for change.
Jack has excellent technical skills and has fast-tracked to a senior executive position. He was certain he was a good leader — that is, until his, executive coach, asked him questions about his team’s excitement and engagement levels. It became clear to the, executive coach, that Jack’s team was frustrated. Jack was furious and “insulted” and he vowed never to work with his, executive coach, again. Subsequently, Jack pondered his strong reaction. He realized his, executive coach, had hit a nerve. “That’s why I reacted like that, because it was true,” he says. Jack is still working with his, executive coach, and continues to learn and develop. He appreciates his, executive coach, role in helping him gain self-awareness, which means understanding his strengths as well as his blind spots. “I don’t have these kinds of discussions with anybody else,” he says. “I am on such a straight path that I can’t see what’s going on. That’s where, executive coaching, really helps me.” Jack now expects his, executive coach, to hit a nerve from time to time. He sums it up this way: “The value to me is not for an, executive coach, to be really nice to me. I don’t need another friend. The value to me is having somebody to help me see what I can’t see.”
Executive Coaching, acts as a mirror for Jack, providing him with honest feedback and revealing gaps so he can see himself more clearly, as well as help him to identify goals and promoting sustained action.
Executive Coaching and Personal Accountability for development
Some executives use sports metaphors to describe, coaching. Anne, a high Achiever, thinks of, coaching, as a springboard for reaching her personal best at work. “Olympic medalists have, life coaches,” she says. “I want to be an Olympic medalist in business.” Anne regards her, coach, as her “personal trainer.” The common denominator in, executive coaching, and personal training is, accountability. You can learn proper techniques in a few training sessions at the gym, but it is easy to lose your way, by cutting corners, using improper techniques or missing workouts. Ongoing personal training creates momentum and accountability for development. The same is true for, executive coaching. As Anne says,
“Executive Coaching, provides an objective outside person to help you do assessments, set developmental plans and hold you accountable.”
Anne has invested heavily in her career, through education and hard work. She views, coaching, as another form of investment. She and her, coach, established developmental targets on day one. Now they have weekly meetings, either in person or on the telephone, to discuss her progress toward her targets and identify obstacles that are impeding her progress. Through coaching, Anne holds herself accountable for her continued success. Her bottom line:
“Coaching gets me from where I am today to where I want to be”
Executive coaching, facilitates what is called “just-in-time learning,” which is all about learning on the spot. Clients can practice and role play. Jack told his, coach, that he wanted to “take a stand” in his next meeting, and that he wanted to come across as confident, self-assured and assertive. Coaching, provided Jack with a dress rehearsal. He used the session to develop a strategy for the meeting. He knew that thinking on his feet in front of a group of people was not one of his strengths, so he and his coach brainstormed potential questions. Jack prepared his answers and did some role playing. The next day Jack was outstanding. He called it “a powerful experience.” The, executive coaching session, had facilitated just-in-time learning.
How, Executive Coaching, Helps the Organization:
Reduce turnover and retain top performing staff
Enhanced individual and organizational performance
Improved organizational strength
Perception of management as being committed to employees and their growth and success
Improved employee morale, more committed employees, thus greater productivity
Retention of high potential talent and talent magnet
Positive work environment, thus greater productivity
Executives learn coaching techniques which they can implement with their teams for improved relationships and productivity, as well as enhanced employee development.
Enhanced organizational performance
Positively affect organizational culture
Succession planning and development of key executives
Reputation of investing in executives through development
Enhanced reputation within industry
Ability to recruit key talent
Positioned for continued growth and success
“Executive Coaching, is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance.”
“It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them. Clients say coaching brings out their best by helping them focus, break down tasks and clarify their values.” – Fortune Magazine
In her book ” Out of the Snares, Author Bernadette Trotman shares how, self love, can bring you out of the snares of, poverty, addiction, child abuse and any other snare of the trapper.
The 9th Principle taught in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” is Love.
Love. This 4 letter word is so powerful! and, self love, is this love turned inside.
Love including, self love is the most powerful force in the universe!
It can break the bonds of years, sometimes generations of, addictions, and, generational curses.
God’s Love for Humanity
God’s love, for humanity caused him to send his only begotten son Jesus to die for our sins so that we can have everlasting life.
A mother’s love, for her child gives her superhuman strength, to save her child from death or injury.
The love we have for our wife and husband keeps off stress and diseases when that love is active and healthy.
You see when we are in the throes of our love experiences, we look at the world through rose colored glasses.
Everything is sunny. We stop to smell the roses.
Our hearts beat faster when our loved ones are near.
We ride the energy waves of this spiritual connection and in turn we feel energized, we smile and laugh more and we don’t sweat the small stuff!
Research shows that this positive energy force cleanses our ethereal bodies and removes patches of stuck energies that can cause disease.
Get out of the Snares with Self Love
In my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement,
I share my encounters with love. These encounters have shaped my current world and allowed me to embrace love because I know from personal experiences how good it feels!
The energy of love combined with, sexual energy, is even more powerful!
When you transmute, sexual energy, for the person you love, you can create or imagine life changing books, companies and inventions that propel humanity forward!
In order for you to give love to another you must first have, self love, inside of you.
You have to love yourself, you have to love your world or the space you work and play in your world.
You have to love God, your creator.
When you have, self love, you gain, self confidence
Self-confidence is necessary for you to be successful in your career and in your business
Click the link below to hear a powerful story of how lack of self-confidence can ruin your world. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8J1ECHTnc64
Love doesn’t have to be the Notebook kind with grand gestures and sacrifice.
We love to watch movies like the Notebook about true love that never dies.
We are inspired by stories about Edward, Prince of Wales and Wallace Simpson and how he chose love over the throne; but most of us would settle for the simple acts of love.
This artist depicts these acts in her paintings so wonderfully and every couple should aspire to connect on this level.
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse coming up and giving them a hug while they are cooking in the kitchen?
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse watching chick flicks with them and enjoying it as much as they do?
• Who wouldn’t love going out for ice cream and licking each other ice cream cones and stealing a kiss?
• Who wouldn’t love just being in a room and just enjoying each other, laying on your husbands lap while you read a book?
• Who wouldn’t like coming home and seeing your husband with a apron on in the kitchen cooking dinner?
Love shouldn’t be only for your spouse, children, family and friends. Love should be for all relationships in and out of the workplace, with customers, suppliers, everyone!
Giving love and compassion to the people you work with yields immense, self love.
Here are 5 ways to be a LoveCat at work with, self love:
1. Greet everyone who walks into your office or room with eye contact and a smile.
2. Hug your close associates or people you have a personal relationship at work.
3. Replace the word Hate with the word, self love, whenever you can and watch it transform the energy.
4. Read lots of books and offer the knowledge gained from these books to your co-workers to help them with projects, initiatives or difficult personal situations.
5. Start a book club at work and have everybody share cliff notes from the books read.
All in all, self love, is like a boomerang, it always comes back so give it freely.
It is like seeds that blow in the wind. It does not always come back from the people we choose to love; but it always comes back
Check out my chapter on Love in my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement.
Do you have the, mindset, to scale the personal mountains in your life and get to, personal growth? In this episode of 5 mins with, Coach Myrna, I share 7 tips to acquiring the mindset of an, mount Everest, climber.
The mindset of a, Mount Everest, mountain climber? How to tackle your personal mountains.
Climbing Mount Everest
Not sure why but I picked up the book, “Into Thin Air, my expedition to the top of the world,” maybe it was because one of my goals was to hike the Himalayas, not climb, Mount Everest. Let’s be clear! but after reading this book I was amazed by what, mindsets, could accomplish.
The, positive mindset, can elevate your life and make you stretch yourself, while its opposite a negative mindset can anchor you wherever you are.
As an, Everest, mountain climber, you are aware that your odds of dying is high. Even if you don’t die, your chances of frost bite or other dangers increase with every feet closer to the summit! The thin air can make you lose brain cells, lack of oxygen to your brain can give you brain damage. YET! The writer says that The line of, mount Everest, climbers attempting to get to the top, looks like the line at Walt Disney world. I wonder how these, mount Everest, climbers deal with their, personal mountains, or, personal growth.
What, mindset, do you have to develop to pay the $65,000 fee, risk your life, and push yourself beyond your limits to summit, Mount Everest?
I discovered these 7 characteristics of people who climb their, personal mountains, personal growth, and become, Mount Everest, mountain climbers:
7 Characteristics of Personal Growth
1. Strong Mindset – Think of the, mindset, you have to have, to WANT to climb, Mount Everest, the top of the world 29, 035 feet in the sky! Let’s put that into perspective that the height that airplanes fly at! Hopefully your, personal mountains, don’t seem of this magnitude!
2. They want to test their limits– After reading “Into Thin Air” I listened to a Ted talk by Lori Schneider. She was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis, and decided to make a goal of scaling the highest peaks on each continent before her MS progressed and she lost the use of her legs. She accomplished this feat and became the first woman with multiple sclerosis to summit, Mount Everest. That was her, personal mountain, or, personal growth and she climbed it and won.
3. They faced their fears – When you face your fears, especially the ones that tell you, you are not good enough, doing something super human sure proves that you are indeed good enough and wipes out fear forever more! Fear is false evidence appearing real. It is a bully and when you stand up to it, it always runs away. You have to remove fear to climb any of your, personal mountains,
4. They are both mentally and physically strong – Climbing your, personal mountains, is both a mental and physical challenge. Climbing your, personal mountains, has nothing to do with physical strength. In the book “Into Thin Air” one of the climbers that reached the peak was a 95 lb woman. Mental strength is more powerful than physical strength.
5. Perseverance – Climbing high altitude mountains is a marathon not a sprint. You have to acclimatize yourself to the high altitudes by climbing to incremental altitudes and climbing back down several times. In the same way you can’t scale your, personal mountains, in one jump, you have to approach it like a mountaineer or a marathon runner, take small bites at a time. Start with the small, personal mountains, and work to way the top of the world Mount Everest 29, 035 feet above the earth!
6. A Growth mindset – The climbers who summited Mt Everest saw Challenges as an opportunity to grow and develop. There is an old saying “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” Look at your, personal mountains, as a way to grow.
7. Willingness to be uncomfortable – There is no growth or victory until you get out if your comfort zone. The hardship a climber experiences on a climb is chilling. No pun intended. Climbing your, personal mountains, will definitely get you out of your comfort zone or it is not a mountain!
What can we learn from them? We learn that where there is a will, there is a way. All obstacles can be called, personal mountains, you have to climb them all one step at a time, carrying a heavy load, with frozen limbs, totally exhausted by the effort of just putting one foot in front of the other and when you finally reach the top, you have to still get back down!
If ordinary people can do it, you can climb your, personal mountains, as well. Live your dreams and dream big, really big.
Imagine being diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis and deciding to climb to the top of Mt Everest with no previous experience!
Believe in the unbelievable!
Climb beyond your limits, it is all a matter of Mind over Matter
If you have a friend that needs encouragement, feel free to share this episode and remember to subscribe and post a review.
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Spiritual Awakening, is like waking up from a dream. When we live like we are sleeping, we are just numb to, consciousness. Spirituality, or “of the spirit” are our thoughts. The concept of spiritual awakening, is that life isn’t random, there is a pattern and purpose to every existence. Deepak Chopra calls this Synchro-destiny. Every moment is pre-destined, it is as it should be. The reason that challenges arise is simple are to make us more aware of our inner purpose and destiny.
Introduction to Spiritual Awakening
Why is life so difficult? It can be said that if you are not facing challenges, you are dead!
The bible says teaches “like fish caught in a net, problems show up unexpectedly.”
Somehow life manages to bring difficult problems, the causes of untold suffering and struggle. How you meet your challenges makes all the difference between the promise of success and, spiritual awakening, and the specter of failure. Successful people look at solutions while unsuccessful people only see the problem. Spiritual Awakening, can help solve internal struggles.
Eckhart Tolle says “we should live life accepting what comes our way; not being too happy when good things happen to us and not being too sad when bad things happen to us. Live in the now”.
When your, awareness, or, spirituality, expands events that seemed random begin to arrange themselves in a pattern; you become aware of a larger purpose and notice these events are actually related to the greater whole. Just as our bodies operate in a state of Homeostasis; in a similar way events and coincidences are all connected and are part of God’s plan for your purpose. When you become, awakened, your purpose (which is unique for each person) you become like an architect who has been handed a blueprint of his or her, spirituality. Instead of laying bricks and fitting pipes at random, the architect can now proceed with confidence that he knows what the building should look like and how to construct it that’s, spiritual awakening.
The first step in this process is recognizing what level of, awareness, you are working from right now. Every time a challenge comes your way, whether it is about relationships, work, personal transitions, or a crisis that demands action. It demands, spiritual awakening.
There are three levels of Spiritual Awakening.
Become aware of them, and you will take a huge step toward becoming a sorcerer and tapping into, spirituality.
Level 1: Contracted Awareness or no Spirituality
This is the level of the problem, and therefore it immediately grabs your attention. If all you see is the problem, then you need, spiritual awakening. Something has gone wrong. Expectations have turned sour. You face obstacles that don’t want to move. As resistance mounts, your situation still doesn’t improve because you are not tapping into your, spirituality. If you examine the level of the problem, the following elements are generally present:
Your desires are thwarted. Something you want is meeting with opposition. You feel as if every step forward is a battle.
You keep doing more of what never worked in the first place.
Your mind isn’t clear. There is confusion and inner conflict.
As frustration mounts, your energy is depleted. You feel more and more exhausted because you need to wake up, you need, spiritual awakening.
You can tell if you are stuck at the level of contracted, spiritual awakening, by one simple test:
Do you feel like the more you struggle to get free of the problem, the more you are trapped in it? In addition the law of attraction states that what you think about you bring about. The end result is that you get on the wave of negative thoughts , your, spirituality, that attract more of the same so not only does your problem not get resolved; but you attract more problems into your circumstance. Meditation, with positive thoughts, smiling, prayer, repeating positive mantras or scriptures are ways to create positive energies and break the negative cycle and start you, spiritual awakening.
Level 2: Expanded Awareness or Spiritual Awakening
This is the level where solutions begin to appear. Your vision extends beyond the conflict, giving you more clarity. You are becoming one with your, spirituality. For most people this level isn’t immediately available, because their first reaction to a crisis is to contract and feel the pain of the situation. They become defensive, wary, and fearful. But if you allow yourself to expand, you will find that the following elements enter your, awareness:
The need to struggle begins to diminish. You put the problem in God’s hands.
You start to let go. You stand on the principle that all roads lead to your destination
More people connect with you. You get council
You approach decisions with confidence.
You meet fear realistically (fear is perceived) and it starts to lessen.
With clearer vision, you no longer feel confused and conflicted.
You can tell that you have reached this level of, awareness, when you no longer feel stuck; a process has begun. With greater expansion, unseen forces come to your aid. You move forward according to what you desire from your life, your, awareness, and, spirituality.
Level 3: Pure Spiritual Awakening or Enlightenment
Pure, spiritual awakening, is when no problems exist. You have transcended suffering as Buddha did. Every challenge is a creative opportunity. You feel completely aligned with the forces of nature. You have aligned with your, spiritual awakening, and your, spirituality. What makes this possible is that, awareness, can expand without limits. Although it may seem that it takes long time to have true mastery of your mind and get on the, spiritual awakening, path to reach pure, awareness; the truth is exactly the opposite. At every moment pure, awareness, is in contact with you, sending creative impulses. All that matters is how open you are to the answers being presented. When you are fully open, the following elements will be present: There is no struggle.
You are present in the now. Your mind is not busy with noise about the past or anticipating the future.
Desires reach fulfillment spontaneously.
The next thing you want is the best thing that could happen to you. You are a benefit to yourself and your surroundings.
The outer world reflects what is happening in your inner world.
You feel completely safe. You are at home in the Universe.
You view yourself and the world with compassion and understanding.
To be completely established in pure, awareness, of, spirituality, and, enlightenment, is the basis of, spirituality, a state of unity with everything in existence. Ultimately, every life is moving in that direction. Without attaining the final goal, you can tell that you are in contact with pure, awareness, if you feel truly yourself, in a state of peace and freedom.
Each of these levels brings its own kind of experience. This can be easily seen when there is a sharp contrast or a sudden change. Love at first sight takes a person without warning from contracted, awareness, to expanded, awareness, and is a, spiritual, experience. Instead of relating in the normal social way, suddenly you see immense appeal, even perfection, in one other person. In creative work there is the “Aha!” experience. Instead of wrestling with a blocked imagination, suddenly the answer presents itself, fresh and new! No one doubts that such epiphanies exist. They can be life changing, as in the so- called peak experience, when reality is flooded with light and a revelation dawns. What people don’t see is that expanded, awareness, should be our normal state, not a moment of extraordinary difference.
Problems with, Spirituality
Listening to people tell their stories of problems, obstacles, failure, and frustration (an existence trapped in contracted, awareness, and, spirituality, one sees that reaching a new vision is critical. It is all too easy to get lost in particulars. The difficulties of facing each challenge are often overwhelming. No matter how intensely you feel your situation, which has its own unique difficulties, if you look to the right and left, you will see others who are just as caught up in their situations. Strip away the details, and what remains is a general cause of suffering: lack of, awareness, that everything is impermanent. Unless you are shown how to expand your, awareness, you have no choice but to experience the state of contraction caused from pain and suffering.
Just as the body flinches when faced with physical pain, the mind has a reflex that makes it draw back when faced with mental pain. Tony Robbins says that “people move away from pain and towards pleasure” Here again, a moment of sudden contrast makes it easy to experience what contraction feels like. Imagine yourself in any of the following situations:
You are a young mother who has taken your child to the playground. You chat for a moment with another mother, and when you turn around, you can’t see your child.
At work you are sitting at your computer when someone casually mentions that there are going to be layoffs, and by the way, the boss wants to see you.
You open your mailbox and find a letter from the Internal Revenue Service and you remembered that you do not have your receipts.
While driving you approach an intersection when, out of the blue, a car behind you swerves past your car and runs a red light.
You walk into a restaurant and see your spouse sitting with an attractive companion. They are leaning in toward each other, holding hands and talking in low voices.
It doesn’t take much imagination to feel the sudden change of, awareness, that these situations provoke. Panic, anxiety, anger, and apprehension flood your mind; these are the result of brain changes as the lower brain takes precedent over the higher brain, triggering the release of adrenaline as part of an array of physical responses known as the stress response. Any feeling is both mental and physical. The brain gives a precise representation of what the mind is experiencing, drawing on infinite combinations of electro chemical signals coursing through one hundred billion neurons. A brain researcher can pinpoint with ever-increasing accuracy exactly those regions that produce such changes. What cannot be seen on an MRI is the mental event that incites all these changes, because the mind functions at the invisible level of awareness or consciousness. We can take these two terms as synonyms, but let’s explore them a little.
Business Problems created from lack of Spiritual Awakening
Spirituality, deals with your state of, awareness. It isn’t the same as medicine or psychotherapy. Medicine deals in the physical aspect where bodily changes occur. Psychotherapy deals with a specific difficulty, such as anxiety, depression, or actual mental illness. Spirituality, confronts, awareness, directly. It aims to produce higher consciousness. In our society this is seen as less real than the other ways of approaching problems. In times of trouble, people cope as best as they can with a swirling confusion of fear, anger, mood swings, and everyday struggle. It doesn’t even occur to them to pair the two words, spirituality, and solution in the same sentence; this points to a limited vision about what spirituality really is, and what it can do for you. We must incorporate our non-physical being with our physical body to solve everyday problems.
Do you know that your, core beliefs, affect everything you do in life? Well it’s true. What you believe is how you show up in every circumstance in your life.
Listen to full interview here:
For example: Do you consistently find yourself in situations where men are trying to bully you or treat you less than you are worth? It may because of a, core belief, that started with how your father treated your mother or even you.
Introduction Core Beliefs
Your, core belief, could be that you are a victim and that belief keeps you trapped in that story.
The thing about a, core belief, is that it cannot be easily changed.
Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:
“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in, core beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this, core belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.”
We all have existing, core beliefs, in four areas:
How we feel love,
our self-worth,
how we feel security, and
fulfillment.
Life after death.
Your, core beliefs, can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one, like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness to help you achieve any goal.
Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs
A, positive core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:
I am loving and lovable.
I am worthy.
I am safe and trusting.
I am fulfilled and whole.
The bible teaches that for God to answer prayer you must first believe and have faith that God is first able and willing to give you the desires of your heart; but there are ways to improve the chances that God will answer your prayer. A prayer is a special kind of intention or, core belief. Therefore, the rules that apply to the, Power of intentions, which are rules about consciousness, apply.
Your prayer will be answered, or not, depending on events happening out of sight – but not out of mind. The mind furnishes the mechanics of making any intention come true. An intention or prayer request, sent to God needs faith to rocket it to the heavens. An intention to graduate at the top of your class or to marry the man of your dreams takes focus, diligence and action. The bible also teaches “Faith Without Works Is Dead”.
Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief?
If you have not found love even after several tries, then you have to look deeply at what you are doing to push love away. Do you have a, core belief, that you are unlovable? How much pain is that belief causing you? It will take a lot of work; but you have to believe that God’s light shines in you and that you deserving of love and happiness.
Do you feel empty inside all the time even though you have all the outward symbols of success like a nice home, a loving husband, a good job, 2 kids and a dog? Then your, core belief, could be that you need to make a contribution to the world like Mother Theresa or like Nelson Mandela to feel fulfilled. You have to change that, core belief, that maybe your purpose is to support your children and help them to fulfill their purpose in the world. Sometimes our role in God’s kingdom is not to change the world but to change one person!
As Tony Robbins says, you must associate tremendous pleasure to your new, core belief, For example. See yourself in a loving and fulfilling relationship, going on dream vacations and having a wonderful life together and believe that you are a woman any man can love!
Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept
Self-concept refers to how one perceives themselves, their past experiences, their abilities, their prospects for the future, and any other aspect of the self. Aaron Beck’s cognitive triad, discussed below, deals with self-concept and the construction of the self. The basic idea of how our self-concepts and cognitive biases affect our lives has to do with automatic thoughts.
For example, someone with a negative “self-referential schema” is more likely to take things personally, leading to automatic thoughts like “People are not talking to me because I am an unlikable person”, rather than exploring other possibilities (Disner et al., 2017). A negative self-referential schema can also lead to increased severity of depression symptoms. Most importantly, a negative self-concept can lead to an unending cycle of negative thoughts.
This is because people with negative self-referential schemas exhibit an attentional bias. For example, when asked to decide whether an adjective is self-referential or not, people with depression are more likely to endorse negative adjectives than healthy controls, and they show an attentional bias by being quicker to endorse negative adjectives and quicker to reject positive adjectives than healthy controls (Disner et al., 2017). In turn, being likelier to endorse negative adjectives is correlated with longer “retrospectively reported” depressive episodes, demonstrating the cycle of negativity.
Is the secret to, Love, Sex? This week on Mindset Transformation Radio Podcast, I interview, Love Coach, James Green. James answers the question “Is, Sex, the most important factor in a relationship?
So, let me ask you. What do you think is the most important factor in a relationship? In my research for this interview. I found this article
on the secret to a long marriage. Hint it was not, Sex!
But in all seriousness. We have heard the phrase ” A Happy wife a happy life”
Here is another article about a couple married 79 years.
“Just want you to know that you’re still the one I would choose. Still the one I give my heart to, still the one I love.”
So, what’s their secret?
“To support one another, whatever the problems may be, good or bad. Stick together. That’s about it,” Bertha said.
“You know why this lasted 79 years? She has the last word,” Dan added with a smile.
Let me introduce my guest this week:
James is a certified Love and Emotional Intelligence coach. His mission is to teach people how to love themselves as well as love each other. James specialty is Relationship and Personal Development Coaching.
1. Question 1: Tell us of your journey to become a Love and emotional Intelligence coach. Do you have a personal story that made you specialize in this field?
I was a single parent and realized that when looking for a mate, I had to look for someone who would fit into my lifestyle as a single father. The woman had to accept me and my son as a package deal. That made me look at factors other than, Sex.
As far as my journey to becoming a Love and Emotional intelligence coach, I found I had the aptitude to reach people. People opened up to me. I remember once standing in the line at McDonald’s and this man in line started talking to me telling me his story. I decided to get my certification as a, Life Coach
2. Question 2: How does emotional intelligence fit into the relationship dynamics?
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to hear what your partner is not saying. It is the ability to realize that when your partner says Fine, I am okay with that. for example. She is not fine with that, from her tonality or her body language.
Another facet of emotional intelligence is the ability to keep your cool and not fly off the handle at the slightest provocation.
3. Question 3: What problems do find are the most common and how do you coach your clients to solve them?
I find Trust, Communication and the inability to seek out coaching until after they start experiencing problems.
Couples tend to think that coaching is not needed until there is a huge problem in their relationship and when I hear that I ask them do you also see a doctor AFTER you have Cancer?
4. Question 4: If you had a magic wand to solve common relationship problems, what would you solve?
If I had a magic wand to solve relationship problems, I would solve trust. Lack of trust is one of the most destructive elements in a relationship.
5. Question 5: When you say that relationship is not a 3-letter word, what do you mean?
The topic of our show today “Is the secret to love, Sex?”
Couples would have us believe that great sex keeps the relationship going or strong.
While sex is very important in a relationship it is not the most important factor.
I believe that communication is the most important factor.
Click the podcast link to hear from James directly as he answers this question.
6. Question 6: Why would you say that couples do not proactively seek relationship coaching and wait until there is a problem to get counselling?
Culture, conditioning. Women go to get an annual checkup every year. They get a PAP test to proactively check for any cervical problems. But this same woman would not think of going to a relationship coach to proactively check to see if her relationship is in danger of abnormal growth!
For the men I use the analogy of the oil change because men hate going to the doctor for an annual check up. But they do change their oil every 3 to 5 months. ( I had a laugh at this one. I asked James if he was suggesting men change their wife’s, as often as they change the oil in their cars?)
He assured me he was not saying that but letting the men know that just like the car engine their relationships need regular maintenance.
Tony Robbins also has lots of empowerment advice for couples.
Click the link below to understand how to create better relationships from Tony Robbins
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If you are empowered to become a member of the Human Potential Movement and would like to be a guest on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast contact me.