Do you have the, mindset, to scale the personal mountains in your life and get to, personal growth? In this episode of 5 mins with, Coach Myrna, I share 7 tips to acquiring the mindset of an, mount Everest, climber.
The mindset of a, Mount Everest, mountain climber? How to tackle your personal mountains.
Climbing Mount Everest
Not sure why but I picked up the book, “Into Thin Air, my expedition to the top of the world,” maybe it was because one of my goals was to hike the Himalayas, not climb, Mount Everest. Let’s be clear! but after reading this book I was amazed by what, mindsets, could accomplish.
The, positive mindset, can elevate your life and make you stretch yourself, while its opposite a negative mindset can anchor you wherever you are.
As an, Everest, mountain climber, you are aware that your odds of dying is high. Even if you don’t die, your chances of frost bite or other dangers increase with every feet closer to the summit! The thin air can make you lose brain cells, lack of oxygen to your brain can give you brain damage. YET! The writer says that The line of, mount Everest, climbers attempting to get to the top, looks like the line at Walt Disney world. I wonder how these, mount Everest, climbers deal with their, personal mountains, or, personal growth.
What, mindset, do you have to develop to pay the $65,000 fee, risk your life, and push yourself beyond your limits to summit, Mount Everest?
I discovered these 7 characteristics of people who climb their, personal mountains, personal growth, and become, Mount Everest, mountain climbers:
7 Characteristics of Personal Growth
1. Strong Mindset – Think of the, mindset, you have to have, to WANT to climb, Mount Everest, the top of the world 29, 035 feet in the sky! Let’s put that into perspective that the height that airplanes fly at! Hopefully your, personal mountains, don’t seem of this magnitude!
2. They want to test their limits– After reading “Into Thin Air” I listened to a Ted talk by Lori Schneider. She was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis, and decided to make a goal of scaling the highest peaks on each continent before her MS progressed and she lost the use of her legs. She accomplished this feat and became the first woman with multiple sclerosis to summit, Mount Everest. That was her, personal mountain, or, personal growth and she climbed it and won.
3. They faced their fears – When you face your fears, especially the ones that tell you, you are not good enough, doing something super human sure proves that you are indeed good enough and wipes out fear forever more! Fear is false evidence appearing real. It is a bully and when you stand up to it, it always runs away. You have to remove fear to climb any of your, personal mountains,
4. They are both mentally and physically strong – Climbing your, personal mountains, is both a mental and physical challenge. Climbing your, personal mountains, has nothing to do with physical strength. In the book “Into Thin Air” one of the climbers that reached the peak was a 95 lb woman. Mental strength is more powerful than physical strength.
5. Perseverance – Climbing high altitude mountains is a marathon not a sprint. You have to acclimatize yourself to the high altitudes by climbing to incremental altitudes and climbing back down several times. In the same way you can’t scale your, personal mountains, in one jump, you have to approach it like a mountaineer or a marathon runner, take small bites at a time. Start with the small, personal mountains, and work to way the top of the world Mount Everest 29, 035 feet above the earth!
6. A Growth mindset – The climbers who summited Mt Everest saw Challenges as an opportunity to grow and develop. There is an old saying “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” Look at your, personal mountains, as a way to grow.
7. Willingness to be uncomfortable – There is no growth or victory until you get out if your comfort zone. The hardship a climber experiences on a climb is chilling. No pun intended. Climbing your, personal mountains, will definitely get you out of your comfort zone or it is not a mountain!
What can we learn from them? We learn that where there is a will, there is a way. All obstacles can be called, personal mountains, you have to climb them all one step at a time, carrying a heavy load, with frozen limbs, totally exhausted by the effort of just putting one foot in front of the other and when you finally reach the top, you have to still get back down!
If ordinary people can do it, you can climb your, personal mountains, as well. Live your dreams and dream big, really big.
Imagine being diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis and deciding to climb to the top of Mt Everest with no previous experience!
Believe in the unbelievable!
Climb beyond your limits, it is all a matter of Mind over Matter
If you have a friend that needs encouragement, feel free to share this episode and remember to subscribe and post a review.
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Spiritual Awakening, is like waking up from a dream. When we live like we are sleeping, we are just numb to, consciousness. Spirituality, or “of the spirit” are our thoughts. The concept of spiritual awakening, is that life isn’t random, there is a pattern and purpose to every existence. Deepak Chopra calls this Synchro-destiny. Every moment is pre-destined, it is as it should be. The reason that challenges arise is simple are to make us more aware of our inner purpose and destiny.
Introduction to Spiritual Awakening
Why is life so difficult? It can be said that if you are not facing challenges, you are dead!
The bible says teaches “like fish caught in a net, problems show up unexpectedly.”
Somehow life manages to bring difficult problems, the causes of untold suffering and struggle. How you meet your challenges makes all the difference between the promise of success and, spiritual awakening, and the specter of failure. Successful people look at solutions while unsuccessful people only see the problem. Spiritual Awakening, can help solve internal struggles.
Eckhart Tolle says “we should live life accepting what comes our way; not being too happy when good things happen to us and not being too sad when bad things happen to us. Live in the now”.
When your, awareness, or, spirituality, expands events that seemed random begin to arrange themselves in a pattern; you become aware of a larger purpose and notice these events are actually related to the greater whole. Just as our bodies operate in a state of Homeostasis; in a similar way events and coincidences are all connected and are part of God’s plan for your purpose. When you become, awakened, your purpose (which is unique for each person) you become like an architect who has been handed a blueprint of his or her, spirituality. Instead of laying bricks and fitting pipes at random, the architect can now proceed with confidence that he knows what the building should look like and how to construct it that’s, spiritual awakening.
The first step in this process is recognizing what level of, awareness, you are working from right now. Every time a challenge comes your way, whether it is about relationships, work, personal transitions, or a crisis that demands action. It demands, spiritual awakening.
There are three levels of Spiritual Awakening.
Become aware of them, and you will take a huge step toward becoming a sorcerer and tapping into, spirituality.
Level 1: Contracted Awareness or no Spirituality
This is the level of the problem, and therefore it immediately grabs your attention. If all you see is the problem, then you need, spiritual awakening. Something has gone wrong. Expectations have turned sour. You face obstacles that don’t want to move. As resistance mounts, your situation still doesn’t improve because you are not tapping into your, spirituality. If you examine the level of the problem, the following elements are generally present:
Your desires are thwarted. Something you want is meeting with opposition. You feel as if every step forward is a battle.
You keep doing more of what never worked in the first place.
Your mind isn’t clear. There is confusion and inner conflict.
As frustration mounts, your energy is depleted. You feel more and more exhausted because you need to wake up, you need, spiritual awakening.
You can tell if you are stuck at the level of contracted, spiritual awakening, by one simple test:
Do you feel like the more you struggle to get free of the problem, the more you are trapped in it? In addition the law of attraction states that what you think about you bring about. The end result is that you get on the wave of negative thoughts , your, spirituality, that attract more of the same so not only does your problem not get resolved; but you attract more problems into your circumstance. Meditation, with positive thoughts, smiling, prayer, repeating positive mantras or scriptures are ways to create positive energies and break the negative cycle and start you, spiritual awakening.
Level 2: Expanded Awareness or Spiritual Awakening
This is the level where solutions begin to appear. Your vision extends beyond the conflict, giving you more clarity. You are becoming one with your, spirituality. For most people this level isn’t immediately available, because their first reaction to a crisis is to contract and feel the pain of the situation. They become defensive, wary, and fearful. But if you allow yourself to expand, you will find that the following elements enter your, awareness:
The need to struggle begins to diminish. You put the problem in God’s hands.
You start to let go. You stand on the principle that all roads lead to your destination
More people connect with you. You get council
You approach decisions with confidence.
You meet fear realistically (fear is perceived) and it starts to lessen.
With clearer vision, you no longer feel confused and conflicted.
You can tell that you have reached this level of, awareness, when you no longer feel stuck; a process has begun. With greater expansion, unseen forces come to your aid. You move forward according to what you desire from your life, your, awareness, and, spirituality.
Level 3: Pure Spiritual Awakening or Enlightenment
Pure, spiritual awakening, is when no problems exist. You have transcended suffering as Buddha did. Every challenge is a creative opportunity. You feel completely aligned with the forces of nature. You have aligned with your, spiritual awakening, and your, spirituality. What makes this possible is that, awareness, can expand without limits. Although it may seem that it takes long time to have true mastery of your mind and get on the, spiritual awakening, path to reach pure, awareness; the truth is exactly the opposite. At every moment pure, awareness, is in contact with you, sending creative impulses. All that matters is how open you are to the answers being presented. When you are fully open, the following elements will be present: There is no struggle.
You are present in the now. Your mind is not busy with noise about the past or anticipating the future.
Desires reach fulfillment spontaneously.
The next thing you want is the best thing that could happen to you. You are a benefit to yourself and your surroundings.
The outer world reflects what is happening in your inner world.
You feel completely safe. You are at home in the Universe.
You view yourself and the world with compassion and understanding.
To be completely established in pure, awareness, of, spirituality, and, enlightenment, is the basis of, spirituality, a state of unity with everything in existence. Ultimately, every life is moving in that direction. Without attaining the final goal, you can tell that you are in contact with pure, awareness, if you feel truly yourself, in a state of peace and freedom.
Each of these levels brings its own kind of experience. This can be easily seen when there is a sharp contrast or a sudden change. Love at first sight takes a person without warning from contracted, awareness, to expanded, awareness, and is a, spiritual, experience. Instead of relating in the normal social way, suddenly you see immense appeal, even perfection, in one other person. In creative work there is the “Aha!” experience. Instead of wrestling with a blocked imagination, suddenly the answer presents itself, fresh and new! No one doubts that such epiphanies exist. They can be life changing, as in the so- called peak experience, when reality is flooded with light and a revelation dawns. What people don’t see is that expanded, awareness, should be our normal state, not a moment of extraordinary difference.
Problems with, Spirituality
Listening to people tell their stories of problems, obstacles, failure, and frustration (an existence trapped in contracted, awareness, and, spirituality, one sees that reaching a new vision is critical. It is all too easy to get lost in particulars. The difficulties of facing each challenge are often overwhelming. No matter how intensely you feel your situation, which has its own unique difficulties, if you look to the right and left, you will see others who are just as caught up in their situations. Strip away the details, and what remains is a general cause of suffering: lack of, awareness, that everything is impermanent. Unless you are shown how to expand your, awareness, you have no choice but to experience the state of contraction caused from pain and suffering.
Just as the body flinches when faced with physical pain, the mind has a reflex that makes it draw back when faced with mental pain. Tony Robbins says that “people move away from pain and towards pleasure” Here again, a moment of sudden contrast makes it easy to experience what contraction feels like. Imagine yourself in any of the following situations:
You are a young mother who has taken your child to the playground. You chat for a moment with another mother, and when you turn around, you can’t see your child.
At work you are sitting at your computer when someone casually mentions that there are going to be layoffs, and by the way, the boss wants to see you.
You open your mailbox and find a letter from the Internal Revenue Service and you remembered that you do not have your receipts.
While driving you approach an intersection when, out of the blue, a car behind you swerves past your car and runs a red light.
You walk into a restaurant and see your spouse sitting with an attractive companion. They are leaning in toward each other, holding hands and talking in low voices.
It doesn’t take much imagination to feel the sudden change of, awareness, that these situations provoke. Panic, anxiety, anger, and apprehension flood your mind; these are the result of brain changes as the lower brain takes precedent over the higher brain, triggering the release of adrenaline as part of an array of physical responses known as the stress response. Any feeling is both mental and physical. The brain gives a precise representation of what the mind is experiencing, drawing on infinite combinations of electro chemical signals coursing through one hundred billion neurons. A brain researcher can pinpoint with ever-increasing accuracy exactly those regions that produce such changes. What cannot be seen on an MRI is the mental event that incites all these changes, because the mind functions at the invisible level of awareness or consciousness. We can take these two terms as synonyms, but let’s explore them a little.
Business Problems created from lack of Spiritual Awakening
Spirituality, deals with your state of, awareness. It isn’t the same as medicine or psychotherapy. Medicine deals in the physical aspect where bodily changes occur. Psychotherapy deals with a specific difficulty, such as anxiety, depression, or actual mental illness. Spirituality, confronts, awareness, directly. It aims to produce higher consciousness. In our society this is seen as less real than the other ways of approaching problems. In times of trouble, people cope as best as they can with a swirling confusion of fear, anger, mood swings, and everyday struggle. It doesn’t even occur to them to pair the two words, spirituality, and solution in the same sentence; this points to a limited vision about what spirituality really is, and what it can do for you. We must incorporate our non-physical being with our physical body to solve everyday problems.
Do you know that your, core beliefs, affect everything you do in life? Well it’s true. What you believe is how you show up in every circumstance in your life.
Listen to full interview here:
For example: Do you consistently find yourself in situations where men are trying to bully you or treat you less than you are worth? It may because of a, core belief, that started with how your father treated your mother or even you.
Introduction Core Beliefs
Your, core belief, could be that you are a victim and that belief keeps you trapped in that story.
The thing about a, core belief, is that it cannot be easily changed.
Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:
“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in, core beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this, core belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.”
We all have existing, core beliefs, in four areas:
How we feel love,
our self-worth,
how we feel security, and
fulfillment.
Life after death.
Your, core beliefs, can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one, like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness to help you achieve any goal.
Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs
A, positive core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:
I am loving and lovable.
I am worthy.
I am safe and trusting.
I am fulfilled and whole.
The bible teaches that for God to answer prayer you must first believe and have faith that God is first able and willing to give you the desires of your heart; but there are ways to improve the chances that God will answer your prayer. A prayer is a special kind of intention or, core belief. Therefore, the rules that apply to the, Power of intentions, which are rules about consciousness, apply.
Your prayer will be answered, or not, depending on events happening out of sight – but not out of mind. The mind furnishes the mechanics of making any intention come true. An intention or prayer request, sent to God needs faith to rocket it to the heavens. An intention to graduate at the top of your class or to marry the man of your dreams takes focus, diligence and action. The bible also teaches “Faith Without Works Is Dead”.
Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief?
If you have not found love even after several tries, then you have to look deeply at what you are doing to push love away. Do you have a, core belief, that you are unlovable? How much pain is that belief causing you? It will take a lot of work; but you have to believe that God’s light shines in you and that you deserving of love and happiness.
Do you feel empty inside all the time even though you have all the outward symbols of success like a nice home, a loving husband, a good job, 2 kids and a dog? Then your, core belief, could be that you need to make a contribution to the world like Mother Theresa or like Nelson Mandela to feel fulfilled. You have to change that, core belief, that maybe your purpose is to support your children and help them to fulfill their purpose in the world. Sometimes our role in God’s kingdom is not to change the world but to change one person!
As Tony Robbins says, you must associate tremendous pleasure to your new, core belief, For example. See yourself in a loving and fulfilling relationship, going on dream vacations and having a wonderful life together and believe that you are a woman any man can love!
Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept
Self-concept refers to how one perceives themselves, their past experiences, their abilities, their prospects for the future, and any other aspect of the self. Aaron Beck’s cognitive triad, discussed below, deals with self-concept and the construction of the self. The basic idea of how our self-concepts and cognitive biases affect our lives has to do with automatic thoughts.
For example, someone with a negative “self-referential schema” is more likely to take things personally, leading to automatic thoughts like “People are not talking to me because I am an unlikable person”, rather than exploring other possibilities (Disner et al., 2017). A negative self-referential schema can also lead to increased severity of depression symptoms. Most importantly, a negative self-concept can lead to an unending cycle of negative thoughts.
This is because people with negative self-referential schemas exhibit an attentional bias. For example, when asked to decide whether an adjective is self-referential or not, people with depression are more likely to endorse negative adjectives than healthy controls, and they show an attentional bias by being quicker to endorse negative adjectives and quicker to reject positive adjectives than healthy controls (Disner et al., 2017). In turn, being likelier to endorse negative adjectives is correlated with longer “retrospectively reported” depressive episodes, demonstrating the cycle of negativity.
Is the secret to, Love, Sex? This week on Mindset Transformation Radio Podcast, I interview, Love Coach, James Green. James answers the question “Is, Sex, the most important factor in a relationship?
So, let me ask you. What do you think is the most important factor in a relationship? In my research for this interview. I found this article
on the secret to a long marriage. Hint it was not, Sex!
But in all seriousness. We have heard the phrase ” A Happy wife a happy life”
Here is another article about a couple married 79 years.
“Just want you to know that you’re still the one I would choose. Still the one I give my heart to, still the one I love.”
So, what’s their secret?
“To support one another, whatever the problems may be, good or bad. Stick together. That’s about it,” Bertha said.
“You know why this lasted 79 years? She has the last word,” Dan added with a smile.
Let me introduce my guest this week:
James is a certified Love and Emotional Intelligence coach. His mission is to teach people how to love themselves as well as love each other. James specialty is Relationship and Personal Development Coaching.
1. Question 1: Tell us of your journey to become a Love and emotional Intelligence coach. Do you have a personal story that made you specialize in this field?
I was a single parent and realized that when looking for a mate, I had to look for someone who would fit into my lifestyle as a single father. The woman had to accept me and my son as a package deal. That made me look at factors other than, Sex.
As far as my journey to becoming a Love and Emotional intelligence coach, I found I had the aptitude to reach people. People opened up to me. I remember once standing in the line at McDonald’s and this man in line started talking to me telling me his story. I decided to get my certification as a, Life Coach
2. Question 2: How does emotional intelligence fit into the relationship dynamics?
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to hear what your partner is not saying. It is the ability to realize that when your partner says Fine, I am okay with that. for example. She is not fine with that, from her tonality or her body language.
Another facet of emotional intelligence is the ability to keep your cool and not fly off the handle at the slightest provocation.
3. Question 3: What problems do find are the most common and how do you coach your clients to solve them?
I find Trust, Communication and the inability to seek out coaching until after they start experiencing problems.
Couples tend to think that coaching is not needed until there is a huge problem in their relationship and when I hear that I ask them do you also see a doctor AFTER you have Cancer?
4. Question 4: If you had a magic wand to solve common relationship problems, what would you solve?
If I had a magic wand to solve relationship problems, I would solve trust. Lack of trust is one of the most destructive elements in a relationship.
5. Question 5: When you say that relationship is not a 3-letter word, what do you mean?
The topic of our show today “Is the secret to love, Sex?”
Couples would have us believe that great sex keeps the relationship going or strong.
While sex is very important in a relationship it is not the most important factor.
I believe that communication is the most important factor.
Click the podcast link to hear from James directly as he answers this question.
6. Question 6: Why would you say that couples do not proactively seek relationship coaching and wait until there is a problem to get counselling?
Culture, conditioning. Women go to get an annual checkup every year. They get a PAP test to proactively check for any cervical problems. But this same woman would not think of going to a relationship coach to proactively check to see if her relationship is in danger of abnormal growth!
For the men I use the analogy of the oil change because men hate going to the doctor for an annual check up. But they do change their oil every 3 to 5 months. ( I had a laugh at this one. I asked James if he was suggesting men change their wife’s, as often as they change the oil in their cars?)
He assured me he was not saying that but letting the men know that just like the car engine their relationships need regular maintenance.
Tony Robbins also has lots of empowerment advice for couples.
Click the link below to understand how to create better relationships from Tony Robbins
If you found this episode inspirational be sure to subscribe to my podcast and I would also appreciate a rate and review.
If you are empowered to become a member of the Human Potential Movement and would like to be a guest on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast contact me.
Eagles, love the storm. When clouds gather, the Eagle, get excited. The Eagle, uses the, winds of the storm, to lift it higher. We can also learn to, fly like an eagle, above the, storms of life.
Did you suffer from Childhood sexual abuse or sexual harassment as an adult? Today on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast, I share my journey from being sexually abused as a child and how I used the, storms of life, to, fly like an, eagle in a storm. I teach how you too can use the winds from the, storms of life, to elevate your life to greater heights.
In this blog, we will study the, Eagle, and how the, Eagle, looks forward to the storm, because the, eagle, knows that only by using the, winds of the storm, can she elevate to greater heights. Eagles in a storm, fly above the storm. Without the, storm, she can never fly above the clouds. Similarly, in life we need challenges, hurts and disappointments to get us out of our comfort zones and teach us to fly like, eagles in a storm. Without the, storms of life, we would become complacent.
How to, fly like an Eagle, above the, storms of life
The crow that picks and picks at the ground, can’t rise to the heights of the eagle or is not conditioned to rise about the ground. It’s mindset is to stay on the ground and peck for food.
The, Eagle, does not escape the, storm. It simply uses the, storm, to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the, storm.
When the, storms of life, come upon us — and all of us will experience them — we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God and fly above the, storms of life, like an eagle, or we can be like the crow and peck and peck on the ground.
The, storms of life, do not have to overcome us. We can allow power of, Jesus Christ, to lift us above thw, winds of the storm. Jesus Christ, enables us to ride the, winds of the storm, that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the, storm.
Eagles, in the, Storm
1. Eagles, fly alone at high altitude and not with sparrows or with other small birds. No other bird can go to the height of the, Eagle. We can, fly like an eagle, where no others go.
2. Eagles, have strong vision. They have the ability to focus on something up to five kilometers away. When an, Eagle, sites his prey, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it. No matter the obstacle, the, Eagle, will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it. We can have vision like an, Eagle, and have focus on our goals.
3. Eagles in the storm, When clouds gather the, Eagle, get excited. The, Eagle, uses the, winds of the storm, to lift it higher. Once it finds the, winds of the storm, the Eagle uses the raging, storm, to lift him above the clouds. This gives the, Eagle, an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the leafs and branches of the trees. We can use the, storms of life, to rise to greater heights. Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.
Storms, bring destruction
I meditated on the reason for the hurricanes that caused so much destruction to homes and property in the Caribbean islands, Houston, TX and Florida. I believe that God does not make mistakes, that everything in the Universe has a purpose. So, I asked myself what is the purpose of the, storm?
My initial response from the Universe was that, storms, are created with the purpose to blow down the old and make room for the new, because everything is recycled on this earth. But I felt there was more so that is why I decided to study the, Eagle. As mentioned before. The ,Eagle, uses the, storm, to elevate him higher. He can’t fly to great heights without the winds of the storm.
What if God created the, storm, to elevate his people?
The, storm, does not only blow down old trees, it blows down old houses as well, it blows down old power posts and power lines. So, in actuality we should be like the eagle and anxiously await the storm to see what old thing will be renewed.
It works for old relationships as well. There is something immensely intimate about riding out the, storm, with your loved one. Just you and your close family members. All the attention is on each other. No television, no lights just the personal connection and candle light!
I have always loved, storms. I remember the first, storm, that me and my husband rode out together. We were only dating for about 3 months. I loved the rain on the roof, the sounds of the winds rustling the roof, the sight of the palm trees blowing in the winds and being wrapped up in his arms. I think we came out of that experience closer than we went in. That is a time to really talk and share! Get to know each other.
The other thing the, storm, to the Caribbean Islands brings is new things to replace the old. If you had an old roof and the wind blew if off, guess what FEMA will give you a new one. If your pool screens were old and the wind just ripped them apart more then guess what you get new screens at no cost to you. If your old car was on its last leg, then you could park it under a tree and pray the tree falls on it! You get my point.
How you experience anything depends on how you interpret it. Change your mindset that the, storm, comes to take from you and replace it with the winds of the storm brings change. Changing out the old for the new.
Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, in the, storm, and you will not sink
But I still think there is more!
The bible teaches us to keep our eyes on, Jesus Christ, when we are in the, storm.
There was a time when Jesus had sent his disciples to go on before him while he stayed in the mountain to pray (Matthew 14:23).
While they were in the boat there came a, storm, “and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.”- Matthew 14:24
Seeing the distress his disciples were in, Jesus Christ, went to them, walking on water. When Peter saw, Jesus Cjrist, he asked him to allow him to come to him, by walking on the water. Peter started to walk on with his faith however, when Peter reached at a certain distance he got distracted, and when he got distracted by the boisterous wind he became afraid and started to sink.
“But when [Peter] saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” (Matthew 14:30 NIV)
Many of us are like Peter, we started our journey with the Lord and even though the, storms of life, come our, faith, allows us to overcome these trials, you could say to ‘walk on water’. But along the way we get distracted especially when we think the situation has gone on for too long, or we come upon big, storm. I am using the, storm, here as a metaphor for trouble. It was easy to trust God when our trials were little; but what happens when the situations seem bigger than we are able to handle? What happens when we have a category 4 storm? Do we let fear in? Or do we anticipate it with the mindset that it will elevate us to new heights?
Focusing on what’s happening around us will cause us to be afraid; afraid of losing our family, losing our jobs, our homes, or being broke and not having enough to take care of our needs. We start worrying about what is going to happen next and very soon we start to sink.
The, storm, also bring with it floods. The water could be more dangerous than the winds.
With Irma, I was going to ride out the, storm, in my home because my house is built to withstand the winds; but as soon as they started talking about 10-15 ft. storm surges. I called my husband and said we are leaving now! I was afraid of my car being under water and I pictured me on the roof waiting to be rescued. So, I understand fear!
Joel Osteen had a message about flood waters he used the analogy of your water breaking during childbirth. That flood there signals new birth as is regarded with excitement. He also reminded us that we never know when that flood is going come. His wife Victoria water broke when she was in an elevator going somewhere that was not the hospital! It is all about perception. Ask yourself what is the good that can come out of the house and car being flooded? You get new ones of course ! Usually the insurance pays!
Here are five things God wants you to do if you feel like you’re sinking in a, storm.
1. Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, and stay focus.
The moment you take your eyes off the Lord, you will go under. When you focus on the wind and the waves — your circumstances — you’re going to sink, just like Peter. There will be many things happening in the world to get you distracted. Economies going under, crime and violence on the rise, people losing their jobs, accidents on the rise and so forth. These things will get you distress. Jesus Christ, tells us that when we see these things happening, that is not the time to get sidetracked, but it is the time to look up (Luke 21:28.)
2. Do not be fearful, Jesus is with you in the, storm.
When you’re in a, storm, it is very easy to become fearful, fearful that you will not get rid of a sickness, fearful that your marriage will end, fearful that your child will die, fearful that you will not be able to pay off your debts or bills and still have enough money to survive. But when fear comes, and it will come, take authority over it and stand on the promises of God that he will always be with you. Fear comes with torment and that’s why Jesus gives us peace (John 14:27). Peace that will help you to ride out your storms.
3. Don’t let go of, faith.
Faith, is like our heavenly currency that we use to draw what we need from the spiritual realm. When you maintain your faith you will receive strength to weather the, storms of life.
4. Don’t doubt.
You don’t need great, faith, to make it through the, storms of life. You just need faith in the right person, that is, Jesus Christ. Peter started to sink when he started to doubt.
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5. Praise God.
Praise is a weapon, a very powerful one. It confuses the enemy as he cannot understand how you able facing your storms but will have a praise. When Jehoshaphat was facing a large army, he did not use swords to fight his battle, he just praised God and his enemies were totally destroyed. Even in the storm, even when you feel like you’re sinking, even when you’re scared to death — praise him all the time.
In order to make permanent changes in your life, the first question you must ask is, who am I? This question allows you to understand yourself and why you came into this body.
As a, Life coach, I want to share with you a , life coaching session, Life Coaching Part 1: Who am I, from my 6-week Life coaching workshop.
We can never become who we were meant to be unless we can first recognize who we are by asking the question, who am I.
To know thyself is to grow thyself
So let’s dive right in.
First a little about, who I am.
I am a certified, Life coach, specializing in Mindset and consciousness. In 2012 I wrote my first book “Becoming conscious, my awakening” because I started to understand, who I am. In this episode I will take you through the process of discovering Who you are, be asking the question, who am I.
If you like this content please share with your friends and remember to rate, review and subscribe to the podcast. Thank you
Life coach Myrna Young, who am I
Who am I, What are my deepest and truest values?
Your deepest values are the ones no one can move you off of. Your deepest values are the ones that if not met, hurt the most. Your truest values are the ones that make you cry.
Your deepest value could be that you would never hit your child. You were abused as a child and you vowed never to hit your child; but you get married and your spouse believes in spanking. He or she believes the bible that says spare the rod and spoil the child. So, your spouse spanks your child. It hurts you so much that you are forced to file for a divorce. Irreconcilable Differences!
Another example to find out, who am I, could be that you were brought up that nice girls do not have sex before marriage. It is a deal breaker in all your relationships. Your dates either leave you or they cheat on you; but you can’t bring yourself to have premarital sex. It is one of your deepest and truest values. As a result, you are single and unmarried at 40 years old.
Your deepest values are found by asking the question, who am I. It could be about how you feel about charity. I never pass someone on the street begging. I feel it is a blessing to have a dollar to give. My husband on the other hand, feels that everybody can find a job, and only the worthless people stand at the corner and beg. That is his deepest value and this is mine.
Your deepest value could take the form of image and by asking, who am I. You may be willing to endure a passionless marriage if it gives you status in your community. There are lots of big houses with white picket fences that house very unhappy families.
One of my deepest values was on domestic abuse. My ex-husband slapped me and I divorced him. Simple as that! My value took the form that I would never become a battered woman. I didn’t have to ask the question, who am I. I knew that if he hit me once he would hit me again. My daughter was 5 years old at the time. Most women would have a value in giving their children a family with a mom and dad. But mine was more self-centered. Nobody should judge your deepest values. They are yours. You must know them and accept them. They make you who you are. A unique being!
Who am I, do I believe in One True Love?
Your truest value could be found by also asking, who am I. How do you love and receive love?
Do you believe that you could only love one person and there is only one true love for you? What happens if you get a divorce or your spouse dies? Does that mean that love is over for you?
How do you receive love?
I heard a story once about a woman who would ask her husband every day if he loved her. He would say of course I love you honey. Yet she did not believe him and would ask him again the next day. She felt love by how much attention she received from her husband. As her insecurities grew she required more and more attention. The marriage ended in divorce.
Your deepest value could be on why you feel you are on this earth, in this body. Do you take the time to consider your purpose and your legacy?
Who am I, What are my preferences and priorities?
Who am I, What kind of house would I like to live in.
What country would I like to live in if I had a choice. Do I prefer beach front, mountain view or lots of trees and greenery? Visualize yourself sitting on the porch of this house.
Who am I, how do I like my men? Do I like them tall, dark and handsome? or am I looking for the spiritual connection and don’t care what form the package takes?
What kinds of music do I like? What kinds of music transports me to a good place?
What are my preferences during sex? Do I like it with the lights on or off?
What forms of entertainment do I prefer? Do I like the movies, going dancing or staying at home with a good book?
If I didn’t have to work, what would I do?
Who are my priorities in Life? Do my children come first, my spouse or God?
Do I make healthy eating and exercise a priority or do I never have time to get to it?
Who am I, What genuinely makes me happy?
I love walking in the park and listening to podcasts and books about successful people in life.
I love listening to the rain and the sounds of the ocean.
Ask yourself , who am I, and put your list of preferences on paper.
Who am I, What are my subconscious patterns and ways of reacting?
How do I react when I feel rejected?
Do I seek revenge?
Do I get even or do I eat a pint of ice-cream?
How do I look at the world?
Do I see abundance or do I see scarcity?
Do you feel jealous when your friends get a promotion or find love?
Are you glad for them or do you secretly hope they fail? No judgment just understanding.
Who am I, If you are happy for your friends, you are attracting abundance into your life. If you are jealous, you are saying that there is not enough to go around and you feel they have taken your share. So, you have a spirit of lack and that will not bring you abundance.
Who am I, What are your triggers?
Ask yourself? When do I pick up the phone and call my old lovers?
Is my trigger when I can’t get my lover on the phone and I think he or she is cheating on me?
I am one of those people who don’t bear malice. That means that I get angry for a few days and then I forgive. Unless it is the third time. I have a 3-strike rule!
As a Life coach, I ask my clients, what do they fear?
This is an important workshop. Fears are bottom feeders. Fears keep you at the tail and not the head of the table. If you have fears, you must face them and replace them.
Fear can also keep you bound in a bad or abusive relationship.
Here are some common fears:
Do you fear getting old?
Do you fear being alone?
Do you fear being homeless?
Do you fear getting fat?
Do you fear your spouse would leave you?
Do you fear losing your job?
Do you fear death?
Fear is an energy. Thoughts are the most powerful energy force in the universe.
Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of negative thoughts is fear.
It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
When you live in fear, you feel bad all the time.
If you allow fear to linger in your body and in your mind. It will not only attract the thing you fear the most into your experience; but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to negative thoughts and emotions.
Negative thoughts transform your body into an acidic state.
In fear mode your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell.
Today I want to teach you how to use positive energy to clear the negative energies of fear. But first I want to touch on one of the spiritual laws of the universe. i.e The Law of Sowing and Reaping.
We all know of the physical laws like gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the Law of Sowing and Reaping can change your world.
Understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world will manifest in the physical world.
Put another way means that whatever you plant in your mind you will manifest in your physical world.
Just like planting an apple tree.
In the spiritual world,
The soil is your mind.
The seeds are your thoughts.
The water are your actions.
And the sun is your feelings.
If you allow fear to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.
Energy flows where attention goes.
Whatever you focus on expands.
Everything is energy and all energy attracts similar energy.
You can’t put out negative energy and expect positive results.
You can’t plant apple trees and expect oranges.
Likewise, you can’t focus on what you fear and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal law of reaping and sowing it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.
These are six words you must stamp on your mind.
“You become what you think about”
When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.
So, write down something that is opposite of what you fear and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your fear.
Since light conquers darkness it will eventually have your fear for lunch!
This means whatever you fear you will attract. So, if you fear being alone that is what you will be, alone. If you fear your spouse will leave you, be prepared for that reality. It is very very important to replace your fears with your desires.
As we wrap up this episode, let’s recap
Ask yourself these questions:
Who am I?
What are my deepest values. What do I care about the most?
What are my preferences and priorities?
Who and what is important to me?
What makes me happy. What images make me cry?
How do I react to things or people who hurt me?
What do I fear the most?
As a certified Mindset Coach, I have designed a 6 Part Coaching program that starts off by bringing clarity to Who You Are because that is how you show up in your personal interactions.
I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.~~Nathen Aaren
Nathan Aaren helps heart centered entrepreneurs merge all of their passions into one life mission. Plan, fund and build their, dream life, and business. He’s raised over 1 million dollars per client and worked with Fortune 500 Companies and Grammy Award Winning Artists including The Olympics, Adidas, CBS Sports, Lil Wayne and Ray Ban, and produces two podcasts which charted #1 on iTunes. After being homeless, he became an agent and landed his first 7 figure investment for a client, which later allowed him to create a reality series, “Chasing My Dreams”, which will air this winter 2020.
Listen to the full interview here:
Introduction – Homeless to living your, dream life?
Nathan – There are so many lessons that I’ve learned from being homeless; but really basically I started off thinking I was going to be super successful and then I ended up being homeless, locked out of my car. I hit rock bottom, one of many rock bottoms, and over the course of that time I learned a few things.
On one hand, I learned some things about navigating in the real world. The physical existence of this life; things about leveraging, money, leveraging resources, so that you can live from a place of abundance and not of scarcity.
I also learned some physiological things like meditation and even spiritual things relating to manifestation. When it came to the financial stuff, I realized that, I needed to stop thinking about money the way I was thinking about it. I feel that people generally speaking, either thinks about, money, and there, dream life, when they are in need.
You need Money to live your, dream life
When people or are not living the life of their, dreams, or have lack, they’re not going to be happy; but when they get that, money, they’ll be happy and start living their, dream life.
Then you have other people who demonize, money, and say, money, is not important, money, is the root of all evil (which is actually interestingly regularly misquoted from the Bible). Whatever side of the spectrum you’re on, we can find a middle ground and say, “I need human beings to help me with my mission, with my vision, and my, dreams, and with my goal of living my, dream life. If I need tools, if I need resources, if I need anything that you could possibly imagine, then I need to find a way to get you those resources.
I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.
Myrna – What happened that night you were locked out of your car. Did you start making a plan then?
Nathan – No that the night I remembered an event when I about 7 years old. I was about 7 years old – thinking who do I want to be? What are my interests as opposed to just thinking what profession do I want? This memory caused me to create so many tools for myself, for perspective and for abundance mentality.
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Things like gratitude, things like meditation, and also things like just coaching myself. Going on walks and coaching myself whenever I find myself in a negative thought pattern. I’ll walk round the block or sometimes I’ll walk for miles and I’ll just say okay “Nathan what’s going on, talk to me” then I’ll talk right back.
Myrna – So at seven you started thinking about your interests and what is was you wanted to do? When did you start visualizing your, dream life, and visioning things? You mentioned meditation, tell us about your end of life meditation practice.
We want to transition into visualizing your, dream life, the power of intention, rewriting your old programs and thinking about what you want to be at the end of your life. I guess that’s your end of life meditation correct?
Nathan – When I started figuring out the, money, side of things and helping people get funding, I started realizing that I was helping people get, money, for things that maybe they lost passion in. Maybe that they thought they liked that career and then changed their mind. Sometimes they got the, money, and they started working towards their goal, of the life of their, dreams, and was miserable because it was not their Dharma.
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So I tagged into the beginning of my coaching process, this end of life meditation as a way of figuring out who you are. What you want to be doing with your life; just getting really clear. A lot of clarity, so that when you’re walking down that path and you get to the point where you get funding, when you get, money, for your personal expenses and your business expenses, that it is something that just can’t leave you; because it is who you are.
I really resonate with your Life coaching package, where in either your first or second episode where you talk about who am I; I love that process. I will admit, your program is a little better than mine! I just love helping people through that process of clarity. One of the tools I use is, the end of life meditation.
End of Life Meditation to Help you Live the Life of your, Dreams
Take some deep breaths and get into your core self. Get in touch with God, or source energy. Feel that connection, imagine yourself at a late age in life, maybe there’s a beautiful window and you’re looking out through the window.
You’re on a comfortable couch and you’re drinking your cocoa, your tea or your coffee and you’re in your last days let’s say you’re 95 years old. You look back at your life and you start to smile about all the people that you’ve met, and that you’ve connected with.
You look back and you’re feeling wonderful and you’re feeling grateful. You get Goosebumps of gratitude for this beautiful life. You start thinking about how beautiful it would be to just have one little moment to go back in time and just to experience life again, maybe 20 years ago to when you were 75. You start imagining what would it be like to go back to being a young whippersnapper of 75 years old. You ask yourself, was I living my, dream life, 20 years ago? If not, what would I change?
Then you go back 30 years ago to when you was 65 and you take some time there and ask the question. Was I living my, dream life? If the answer is no.
You go back 40 years when you was 55, and 50 years ago to when I was 45 and 60 years ago to when I was 35 and you start thinking about that and you say, what would I do if I had a little bit of time? What would I do differently to live the life of my, dreams.
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I’m very grateful for the time I’ve had here; but at the same time if I could go back, I would be a little bit more courageous. Would I tell that person that I loved them a little bit more. I would go out of my comfort zone and try something new and creative. If I could go back, I would make sure I lived the life of my, dreams. That would be so great and then you open your eyes and your wish has been granted and you get a second chance.
Myrna – Nice that’s a different spin to the one that I know. I know the 85 year old rocking chair test. What is the goal of it exercise?
Failure at living your, dream life.
Nathan – There are a few goals:
One is obviously to get perspective,
Another is continue to have a tool in your tool belt the ability to make tough decisions or to get yourself to do things that you know you should do; but you don’t have the confidence to do.
Take away the fear of taking risks
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Myrna – One of your tools is teaching people how to crack the code on their, dream life, and I know you’re a financial person. Now, where is the code to finances? Is that has to do with abundance and scarcity? So talk about this cracking code on living your, dream life.
Cracking the code to financial abundance in your, dream life
Nathen – My life’s mission is to come together with other people and continue to build and learn how to crack the code to living your, dream life, so I’ve cultivated a lot of wonderful tools.
One of these tools is network sharing. We get together and we do that. We crack the code, we continue to ask questions, great questions, create great answers and great solutions.
Being around people who are like-minded and who are maybe five steps ahead of you in certain areas and in other areas you’re five steps ahead, is a great way that I’ve learned to just crack the code. The end of life meditation with the life design process that I teach basically allows you to start by first visualizing, then prioritizing and then planning.
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Nathan – So visualizing is a really important step, because when somebody just goes right into, visualizing the life of their, dreams, they might not know what it is they want to do. I start off by asking them what they want to do with their life, what is their, dream life? But most people don’t know what that is, we have to connect with God.
We have to connect with the Universe, source energy. I like to ask people some things they don’t consider which is preferences and non-negotiables. Preferences and non-negotiables are basically the foundations of your, dream life.
What are your preferences in your day-to-day activities and in your day-to-day life?
Do you want to wake up whenever you want? Go to sleep whenever you want? Or do you want to have a boss that tells you what to do. Do you need structure?
Your preference is ‘No I can’t have a boss’, I need to have my own schedule, do my own thing.
Some people’s preference is to travel the world, they want to be able to work from their laptop, other people are like – no I want to be in my home with my family, I don’t care about travelling the world, as long as I have a stable income that’s what matters to me.
So by knowing your preferences is important in visualizing your, dream life.
You prefer a certain kind of humor and like to be around people every day or you like to be by yourself.
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Your non-negotiables may be your purpose. The big, sparkly thing that you want to do like help everybody become successful and you becoming a successful coach, or a motivational speaker etc.
Those are the day-to-day things that are going to really help you thrive on a day-to-day basis, so getting really clear on those things is super important. Once you have Fantasized and done your preferences and non-negotiables, then you have a clear understanding of what you want your, dream life, to looks like.
Myrna – I know that you have a course called Dream University. It’s an online course and you say it’s not like any other course. So tell our listeners about your Dream University and funding and how people can get resources and your course.
How to Plan Fund and Build your, Dream Life
Dream University is an online course that helps you plan fund and build your, dream life, and your dream business. The process that I’m kind of talking about now is loosely related to that course.
The course basically step one is you say okay
‘I’m going to take a step back from trying to be productive’ and ‘I’m going to figure my life out.
I’m going to take some breathing room and I’m going to say, what do I really want to be doing?
What’s going to light me up inside?
What’s going to make me feel great that when I am 95, I can look back on my, dream life, and I have those goose bumps and I feel amazing? I feel grateful and there are no regrets.
Once we we’ve really gotten clear on what it is we want from our, dream life, I have a one-page plan which is the idea of you. It’s a one-page vision. If you take it and you put in your hands or you stick it on your wall or on your desk and you can point at it and say I don’t know how I’m going to make this happen; but if I can make this happen.
I’ll be the happiest person in the entire world. That’s the idea, you have one page, you look at, you’re like that’s it, this page gives me the emotions that I want and I’m going for it, and in the process with all the tools I have, I’m going to strive to fully engage from full abundance and it will feel great.
How to get Funding for your, Dream Business
Step two is getting funding. Now the beauty of this is even if you don’t need funding this is like from my perspective a much more robust version of a business plan, where you have something that is interactive, that you look at and you can use to get funding, basically called a pitch deck. I call it a fill in the blank funding template (which allows you to fill in every single aspect that you need to present a presentation to someone for funding) whether it be an investor grants or crowd funding as well.
This presentation, not only does it work to get you money for your personal expenses like your rent or your mortgage, your bills, your gas, your food, your groceries and so on. You can focus on what you love full-time; but also for your business expenses like if you need to hire people, if you need to buy gear or equipment, if you need to pay rent for a space whatever it is, it allows you to have all the things you need.
So you can work from a place of abundance or scarcity. This business plan is a step-by-step road map to your business goals and, dream life. There are some aspects like the financial aspects that you can use to decide. Do I need money? How much money do I need to live my specific lifestyle?
Some people want to live very simply, some people don’t want to live very simply. They want to have all these special cool neat, unique things – all is great; but you can use it for two purposes. One for your personal life, two for your business life (get funding for your thing)
Step three is to grow and at that point it’s just really about helping people get the right strategies for the things that they want to do. Reverse engineering what their end result is and finding out how they want to do that.
So in business, usually that means building the thing that is the most value that you can provide to the world and then finding where the human needs are. You want to serve humanity and tap into those audiences so that you can serve those people.
Myrna – Tell our audience how they can connect with you on online or to how to join your group or to order your course.
If you guys want to check out Dream University you can go to www.nathen.tv Feel free to text me, my number is 310 807 1998.
Conclusion to building and funding your, dream life
Thank you so much for tuning in to transform your mind, to transform your life radio hour and podcast as you see I bring you guests that can help you to transform your life. The first thing we need to start with is to visualize the life of your, dreams. That starts in your head. You can’t hold in your hand anything you don’t hold first in your head.
I want to give you a personal invitation to my Facebook Group called Life Coach. We have daily inspirations from me, coach Myrna and from dozens of other coaches who can also help you stay inspired during the week. Please subscribe to the podcast here:
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As a Business Coach, I kept getting clients who kept hitting a plateau with, business strategy. They hired experts to help them figure out the right business model, to surpass this plateau or ceiling; but they kept hitting this ceiling, nothing was working. It reminded me of my own, capacity, issue.~~~Lisa Fabrega
In this interview I speak with to Lisa Fabrega, leadership coach on the topic It’s not your, business strategy, it’s your, capacity.
Listen to Full Interview
Introduction to Capacity
Myrna – What I love about this topic is references one of my favorite quotes
You are the Lid! You can only go as far as your, capacity, for growth.
So the headline It’s not your, business strategy, it is your, capacity, for growth resonates with me.
Lisa as a Business coach, How did you stumble on the concept that what’s was holding your clients back was not their, business strategy, or goals but their, capacity?
Lisa – Great question I stumbled upon this concept very early on in my coaching practice.
I was actually was a health coach working with clients on nutrition. I noticed from my first couple of clients weren’t talking about food, instead it was their, capacity, was the focus.
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My clients were very ambitious and had already achieved a lot and yet they were hitting a plateau or something wasn’t working anymore. They couldn’t figure out what it was even though they were very smart people, so they’d throw a bunch of, business strategy, at the problem.
When, business strategy, didn’t work, they would hire experts to figure out the right business model, to surpass this plateau or ceiling. But they kept hitting this ceiling, nothing was working. It reminded me of my own, capacity, issue.
Four years ago I had a, capacity, issue. My coaching packages were sold out, I had a huge wait list. I was overwhelmed with requests and I didn’t have the, capacity, for it at the time. One thing I always say to my clients is if Oprah called you tomorrow, are you ready? Do you have the, capacity, to handle that influx of new business?
I thought this must be a, business strategy, problem instead of diagnosing it correctly that I had a, capacity, issue. I couldn’t hold handle or receive what was coming my way on many levels, so I went and invested a ton of money in a new, business strategy, and a funnel and I ended up a hundred thousand dollars in debt.
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Myrna – I would make the same decision. I immediately would think I needed to add more staff or something that’s probably what you did right?
Lisa – I added more staff, I hired a huge expansion team, I started a whole new funnel! It was the most stressful year of my life because I did not sleep that entire year. I was so stressed out about the money and the debt.
After doing some real deep self-reflection about what actually caused that problem, I started to noticing my conversations with my clients who also had, business strategy, issues. I realized that It was not a, business strategy, issue but a, capacity, issue.
Myrna – Obviously you need, business strategy; but you also need the, capacity, to get there; so how did you transition your clients to look at their, capacity, not their, business strategy?
Lisa – I realized that there are six areas of, capacity. I drilled it down to six because everything kind of falls under these, capacity, areas that we tend to struggle with as ambitious and successful people.
Money capacity – What’s your, money capacity? Score yourself from zero to ten. Are you earning enough, saving and investing larger and larger amounts of money every year? If you answered No, then ask yourself why not?
Visibility capacity – visibility capacity is your ability to allow all of you to be fully seen in your work. So many people hide little bits of themselves from their brand and from their clients and then end up with a misalignment. A lot of my women clients who come to me and tell me they’re drained, it’s not that they’re overworked or have the wrong, business strategy; the burnout is not because of that, it’s because they’re hiding these parts of themselves and it’s so exhausting to have to constantly hide and not be transparent.
Purpose capacity – purpose capacity is when your inside matches your outside. Your, business strategy, is lined up with your true purpose. You can’t start a business just because it has the potential to make you lots of money. Your business must also line up with your values and purpose.
Embodiment capacity – embodiment capacity is your emotional, spiritual, mental and physical capacity. If you were to get up on a stage in front of a thousand people and it drains the life force out of you to the point that you’re exhausted and have to recover for two days, you have an, embodiment capacity, issue. If somebody leaves a nasty comment on your Instagram post and you are just like freaked out and hiding for two weeks, you have an, embodiment capacity, issue.
Structural capacity – I call this also your foundation capacity. What are the foundations that are holding you up or lifting you up to your next level? What systems or, business strategy, do you have at home, or at work to hold you up?
Boundary capacity – boundary capacity is about being clear about who you are. It’s not just boundaries with other people, it’s boundaries with yourself; because sure you could work 10 hours today but is actually going to serve where you’re going? Should you instead get some rest? That’s setting a boundary with yourself.
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How to Expand your Capacity: your New Business Strategy
Myrna – What can women do to expand their capacity for growth, wealth and success?
Lisa – It starts with knowing how they score on the six capacities.
It will tell you what the real problem is because the biggest roadblock we experience when trying to expand our, capacity, is that we misdiagnose the actual problem.
If women don’t get clear and score themselves in these areas, they might think they have a structural issue or a strategic issue and don’t realize that it’s actually a, money capacity.
Why does our energy level affect our Capacity
Myrna – One of the things I wanted to ask you about is this, embodiment capacity. You said we can subconsciously drain our energy and power thus lowering our, capacity; explain that a little.
Lisa – I think that some of the ways that we unconsciously drain our power is through what I call emotional labor. Women particularly do this a lot and that’s actually part of an, embodiment capacity, issue. I have a great example. One of my clients told her husband would ask her every week after she would put the towels away, where’s the such-and-such towel and she’d say “it’s in the closet with the towels” and he would say. “I don’t see it” and she’d have to walk over to the closet and the towel would be right there.
This went on every week until she told him she was not doing any more emotional labor, that he can find the damm towel himself, she was no longer going to get up from what she was doing to find the towel for him.
This is a great example of tiny ways that we do emotional labor without realizing that we are being drained. These little leaks, I call them little power leaks leave you exhausted. You wonder why you’re exhausted and burned out and it has nothing to do with your, business strategy, we have to be mindful of our energy. It’s being drained from emotional labor with our family, friends and even clients.
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Myrna – So true, women especially the care-giving kind of woman are always doing things for other people and then they emotionally drain themselves and then they don’t have the energy to do anything for some themselves which is why the self-care movement is becoming so popular.
If you’re emotionally drained, it limits your, capacity, we can’t operate within our full capacity if our battery is drained.
Four keys to unlock Capacity: Your New Business Strategy
Pleasure – pleasure can be whatever it means to you, it could be taking a walk in the park, it could be taking a break, getting in the tub, getting some nice smelling lotion and rubbing it on your hands. Making sure to have those pleasure breaks because it’s like refueling your tank. Allow your, business strategy, to be your best self.
Eat Whole Foods – According to Ayurveda, it is very important to eat foods that are natural and pure for their full benefit to be absorbed by the body. When foods are as close to their state in nature as possible, that’s when they deliver the most potent nutrition. Foods that have been genetically altered, processed or refined have much of their natural intelligence stripped from them, disturb the intellect and the coordination and lowers our, capacity .
Manage stress levels – We live in difficult times. Stress and anxiety, whether caused by time pressures or difficult work relationships, stress can have a significant negative impact on mental performance. A calm mind, serene and centered in its equilibrium, is unquestionably superior in terms of focus, attention span, retention of knowledge and problem-solving ability. It is important to manage stress before it becomes a severe problem, because stress has been known to damage or destroy brain cells, and many prescription pills for anxiety can have side effects that can further erode mental performance and, capacity. a new, business strategy, manage your stress.
Get adequate, quality sleep – Related to stress is the other plague of modern society — lack of deep, restful sleep. With diet and lifestyle, sleep is a fundamental pillar of increasing your, capacity. Optimal physical and mental performance is impossible if sleep is not addressed. Getting eight hours of sleep is less important than striving for quality sleep, which occurs when the mind is totally disconnected from the senses. Quality sleep recharges and rejuvenates the mind, improving both short-term and long-term mental prowess as well as your, capacity for growth.
Myrna – I understand that you have a capacity in crisis virtual workshop.
Lisa – First of all I have an amazing free gift for your listeners. To get your Free Gift head over to my website at www.lisafabrega.com.
You can also sign up for my newsletter it’s actually an entire video series that I call the, capacity conversations. It’s like binging on Netflix except you get to binge and expand your, capacity, instead of numbing your mind.
You get a series of free videos that walk you through all the capacities and help you diagnose what your capacity issue might be holding you back.
Myrna – I want to introduce a contest this week. The prize is a gift card from one of our sponsors hbnaturals.com. One of you lucky listeners will get this $25 gift card for subscribing to either the Transform Your Mind iTunes podcast or subscribing to the Transform Your Mind podcast Youtube channel. Once you subscribe send me an email to info@myhelps.us with your contact information and if you are the winner, you will get this gift card to purchase any of the products on hbnatures.com coffee, skincare products, tea, CBD oil, super-foods, essential oils, pet products and more.
I want to invite you all to join my private Facebook group called life coach, this group has lots of life coaches giving daily inspiration and tips to live your best like now.
The foundation to getting, back to basics, is fulfillment. People don’t just want income, they want impact and they want freedom. People searching for, fulfillment, are often buying the cultural lie which is you’ll find, fulfillment, through income. Hidden in that lie is this idea that, fulfillment, lies somewhere in money.
Listen to the full interview
TJ Loeffler shares tips and strategies on the topic Successful but Unfulfilled, getting Back to Basics. TJ is a best-selling author of the new book “Getting Back to Basics”
This interview on the Transform your Mind podcast covers the fundamentals of living your life the way that you purposed it. How to live your best life now with some simple little tweaks by getting, back to basics.
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Introduction to Getting, Back to Basics
TJ Loeffler is a founder, speaker, coach and advisor. After a personal awakening and a decade long journey of life transformation he now uses his gifts in speaking and coaching to share
Lessons from his story. TJ’s personal mission is to help people be free, get healthy and stay wealthy. Not just financially but spiritually by getting, back to basics.
TJ Loeffler – the first thing that I’ll say about Jesus being at the center of my transformation and
the change in my life is one of the things I heard
God makes the trees and we make the tables.
It’s a very powerful way to think about God’s role in our lives and more importantly our role in his life. What I mean by that is he provides and it’s up to us to meet our potential, so if he has the promise, we have the potential. I give God the credit and specifically Jesus for the revelation.
Successful but Unfulfilled – Getting Back to Basics
The changes that have happened in my life are really stemming from a change that happened in my heart. I was successful but unfulfilled working at Goldman Sachs, a well-known investment bank. I was on the trading floor on wall street making a great income but I was unfulfilled.
You see I had been driven my whole life to perform and achieve, because I had low self-esteem.
I had low self-esteem, because I had a subconscious belief that I was abandoned or neglected at birth. I was adopted.
I had never really come to the place where I had accepted my own story, because I had never really gone through the process of healing. My relationship with God allowed me to release the feeling of low self-worth and embrace my life.
Everything hit me in terms of the understanding who you are when my father was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and the supernatural started speaking into my life.
After facing a lot of adversity, I started coaching to help others and my company Loeffler international was founded.
Getting Back to Basics
Are Overachievers Unfulfilled?
Myrna – That’s awesome why do you think that some overachievers are still unfulfilled?
In my coaching experience I found that there was a lot of overachievers who are making money, they’re successful in their marriages, they’ve got a couple of boxes that they can check; but they still this emptiness inside.
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How Getting, Back to Basics can help you become fulfilled.
TJ Loeffler – it’s a great question and I’m going to make this super practical and it does relate to, back to basics, the book that is coming out this summer.
The foundation to getting, back to basics, is fulfillment. People don’t just want income, they want impact and they want freedom. People searching for, fulfillment, are often buying the cultural lie which is you’ll find, fulfillment, through income. Hidden in that lie is this idea that fulfillment lies somewhere in money.
But then people who start making money realize wait I need to do something meaningful with my life, so then they start a non-profit or do something to make an impact on the world. Then they realize that they can’t help everybody in the world.
Then they realize wait I need inner freedom and finances don’t bring me freedom! Money just magnifies the state you’re already in. If you’re a sad person, money can make you extra sad. So getting, back to basics looks at your inner world.
• Forgiveness – forgiveness sets us free. There’s a lot of people who follow Jesus; but haven’t had the revelation of Jesus in their heart, which is full freedom. In other words they still live hanging on to the weight of their past and that’s not living in freedom that’s living in self-condemnation.
• Health – there are a lot of really spiritual people who are functionally unhealthy and so underneath all that income still, unfulfilled. They can be making an impact; but if they’re not healthy no, fulfillment.
Does Money equal Fulfillment?
Myrna – I want to circle back to one of the most poignant things you said. People think that income equals, fulfillment. That is such a lie and it’s really sad to see the, unfulfilled, people with lots of money like the stars who have millions of dollars and all the fans and then they realize that all that doesn’t make them, fulfilled.
TJ Loeffler – One thing I would add is getting, back to basics, means that when you think about money the gift is with the giver and so generosity is one of the tools to greater joy; but generosity can also be an outpouring of guilt. So if you don’t have gratitude in your heart and you feel guilty for privilege and money, then you are back to being, unfulfilled.
Myrna – In your book, back to basics, you talk about the idea of having the right foundation for,
Fulfillment. What is that foundation?
What’s the core of, Back to Basics
TJ Loeffler – At the core of, Back to Basics, is this idea of the foundation to, fulfillment.
We were talking about health being the foundation layer in getting, back to basics, because
people that I’ve experienced this in my own life have gone through a health transformation including myself. You can’t end burnout of 10 years with poor lifestyle choices in 24 hours.
People want to have conversation with our coaching team to find out what truly makes them happy and how to get, back to basics, without changing their mindset.
The foundation to, fulfillment, is to overcome indecision and paralysis from analysis and anxiety. There are functional changes you need to make in your life, not just the mindset shifts which are
Core. Just like your philosophy, transform your mind, to, transform your life, we believe that mindset comes before strategy or tactics.
If you have pressures in your life and you’re not taking care of your body, I don’t care how you
Look visually, it’s going to affect you mentally, emotionally spiritually. It’s going to affect you and all these areas of life.
Getting, back to basics, is as simple as starting your day with lemon water. You have to start your day hydrating your body and specifically with lemon water because your body is
Detoxifying.
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There are six Core Pillars to getting, Back to Basics.
Myrna – is that your foundation to getting, back to basics?
TJ Loeffler – there are six core pillars to the foundation. When we think about health we break it up into these six things:
• Diet
• Sleep
• Movement
• Active rest
• Reflection and
• Connection
These six pillars are how I grew my business. These six things are also how I changed my life functionally. There were things that I was facing in my life, a lot of difficulty. I believe some of it was spiritual, some of it was really practical. I was burned out, so I hadn’t changed my mindset around productivity, around balance, around energy, I wouldn’t have found the recipe for getting, back to basics.
Pride comes before the fall and I definitely fell. I felt my pride took me to fall several times.
If God makes the trees and we make the tables, the tree is the body. He made this body.
I’m a spiritual being in this body. Our body keeps the score and we’re losing. Our body is telling us we have to look at ourselves and say I’ve neglected nutrition in my life.
I have to start thinking not diet; but my relationship with food and how my body processes the food. If i don’t have active rest in my life then I’m in constant sympathetic tone or fight or flight or free state and then my body diverts all the blood away from my digestive system. Now I can’t process the kale and salmon that I’m eating all the time and I think I’m healthy; but the reality is I’m in constant state of chronic stress or anxiety, so my body doesn’t process the nutrition I an eating.
How does Active Rest take us, Back to Basics?
Myrna – Is active rest Meditation?
TJ Loeffler – meditation is one leg of active rest. Here’s the key with meditation. You can empty
Yourself; but are you filling yourself with the right things? Otherwise you’re just walking around with an empty bin.
Active rest is really about helping your body move from sympathetic tone to what’s called parasympathetic tone. I think of it like a light dimmer not a light switch.
People are walking about their day being triggered by trauma that happened in their life and not even knowing that they’re being triggered. How many people are aware that they’re in a chronic state of fight or flight? How many people are aware of that and so recognize shallow mouth breathing as stress? All this is part of getting, back to basics.
Myrna – all the foundational things you’re talking about are things that I know that people can actually use to become better themselves and when they become better themselves, then everything else on the exterior becomes better. So, back to basics, it’s basic a perfect book.
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How can these Core Pillars help Overachievers have, Fulfillment?
Back to Basics, is a collection of the six core pillars.
Everything you do it starts as a discipline before it becomes a desire; but the reality is you can really start to enjoy your life when you when you like the way you look, when you like the way you feel. You start realizing it’s probably all the good choices that I’ve been making to engage with my body in a different way that is making me feel good.
I check my relationship with food
Analyse my relationship with sleep
What people are really looking for is, fulfillment, in life, in other words they have made an
agreement that work will provide, fulfillment. I spoke with a client yesterday, who said, I need a new career. I don’t have a career that gives me, fulfillment, and I said a career is not where you find, fulfillment. It may be a contributor but it can’t give you, fulfillment.
Myrna – I agree change starts with you, it’s within your power.
How to Change your Life Right Now by Getting, Back to Basics
What’s one of the first and most important things someone can do to begin changing their life right now?
A lot of people want to put things off until they’ve checked this box or they get married or got this new job. They always put off happiness; but we know as coaches that anything that you want to do, this is the right time. Now is the right time so what can somebody do right now to begin changing their lives?
TJ Loeffler – Besides lemon water every morning which is recommended in the book, back to basics, do things that make you feel and look better. They can also hire a coach. Coaches can help people to find, fulfillment, within. I found is coaches really accelerate the process and the good ones are going to be able to hold a mirror up to you.
They’re going to be able to help you see something differently in order to make practical change in your life. But I can hold a mirror but if you’re not willing to let go and let God in, if you’re not willing to give permission, if you’re still trying to hold on and have control over every area of your life, including your own perception.
If you want to hold on to the pain of your past, if you want to hold on to the things that have happened to you that you are still the victim, it’s really going to be hard to make changes. I don’t care how many coaches you hire, you won’t find, fulfillment. You have got to do the work.
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The first part of the book, Back to Basics, is really about helping people be open. If you’re not open, if your mind’s not open, your heart’s not open. Your mind is a reflection of your heart.
Myrna – How can listeners connect with you and order a copy of your book, Back to Basics?
They can order from my website corepillers.com.
We do have a boot camp. We do have health coaching, VIP days and a number of other options for people. If you’re at a place in your life where you’re really looking to make a change and
that’s our prerequisite, we’re looking for people who are resourceful, teachable and ready for
change NOW. Not six months from now.
Here are the links to TJ site
Website Site: tjloeffler.com
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Scott Miller, author and EVP at Franklin Covey, shares tips on, leadership, relationships, efficiency, vs, effectiveness, and how to straight talk to your employees as well as family and friends.
What has the book ” 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” taught you about, Leadership?
I have had the privilege of being in the Franklin Covey company which of course was co-founded by Dr. Stephen R. Covey who wrote the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” that, leadership, book has sold 40 million copies.
I wrote “Management Mess to, Leadership, success” because quite frankly my life’s been a mess. Not because you are an executive or an author or parent means you are a success automatically. I wrote the book because I wanted to share with readers that owning your mess is really the first step to becoming a success.
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Recognizing the difference between having an, effectiveness, mindset and an, efficient, mindset. One of the biggest messes that I’ve had to conquer was recognizing when am I in an, effectiveness, mindset and when I should be in an efficient, mindset; because they’re not the same factors.
I’m a very, efficient, person, I get up at 4:00 am in the morning, I write my column, I write a couple chapters on the books that I’m writing. On a Saturday morning I would get up at five o’clock, go to Home Depot and buy flowers and have them planted by six o’clock. Be at the car wash by 7 am, be at tennis by nine. I mean I live a very productive and, efficient, life. That’s helped me in a lot of areas of my life; but it hasn’t helped me in my relationships, because as Dr. Covey said
So one of the biggest areas of growth for me was with people. I had to learn to slow down. When someone comes into my office, I take off my glasses, close my laptop and turn off my phone. I have to really understand when and where can I be, efficient, and when and where should I practice, effectiveness. If you want to develop more trustworthy, long-lasting, mutually beneficial, relationships, be more cognizant of when you’re being, efficient, and fast and when you’re being, effective, and slow.
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I think it’s good advice to, leaders, to be a little more, self-aware, and introspective. Is your need to be, efficient, in some areas of your life negatively impacting other areas in your life?
Use Communication to become, Self-Aware.
It is all about, communication, because when you are being, efficient, you’re probably not being, effective, because it all depends on your audience.
Self-awareness, I use this term a lot. Everybody could benefit from being more, self-aware.
Ask yourself – what’s it like to be your friend?
What’s it like to be your husband?
What’s it like to be your neighbor
I’d encourage all of your readers, if you really want to improve your relationships, if you want to improve your influence expand your credibility and become more trustworthy or likable, go ask the people in your life what’s it like to be in a meeting with you.
What is it like to be on a carpool with you
What’s it like to go on vacation with you
What’s it like to be at dinner with you
What’s it like to be married to you.
When someone gives you that feedback, don’t refute it don’t brush it away.
Don’t blame anybody else, just listen.
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What, communication skills, are important to, leadership, success
Let’s talk about, leadership, and then this broaden it to a straight talk between peers. Talking straight is really a sign of respect to everyone in your life. We’ve all met people who say they call it as they see it, that is actually quite selfish. Talking straight is when you are able to base what you’re saying in fact. When you talk straight with someone, you don’t postulate, you don’t pontificate, you don’t technically tell the truth, but you kind of leave the wrong impression. No you just you say straight up what is true.
As a life coach, I would use something called the, sandwich technique, which means that you package that talk with something positive like a sandwich.
sandwich feedback method
I would not advocate the, sandwich feedback method. I think it’s generally disingenuous. I think the better technique is to first declare your intent, because the moment there is suspicion about your intent, everything you do becomes tainted. So be very clear on what your intent is. Say what is uncomfortable straight, no chaser without any bogus compliments and no hidden agenda.
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The first step to becoming a great, leader is to check their own paradigms, our own belief systems. We all have deeply entrenched, deeply enculturated paradigms that were built into us by our grandparents, our parents, our aunties, our first grade teachers, our neighbors, our relatives and it is how we see the world. How we see ourselves and everyone should be emotionally nimble, or emotionally flexible enough to challenge your belief systems.
Women in Leadership
Here’s a great example:
I am 51 years old, I’m Caucasian. I live in Salt Lake City, but I lived in the 70s in Central Florida, Orlando Florida. I am from an upper middle-class white family, one of two children. My mother was a full-time stay-at-home mom, my father had a fairly traditional corporate job. It was a stable family in the seventies and I was raised to believe that, doctors, police officers, and Catholic priests were always right and always told the truth!
Can you imagine for a moment that had I been eight year-old young boy and an altar server and that a Catholic priest who was perhaps a pedophile told me to do some inappropriate things?
I think the first step in becoming a, leader, of your own self, your own life is to challenge your own paradigms. You don’t see every situation, every argument, every interaction, every meeting, every conflict, every win, every lost accurately; you always have a little bit of a judgment on it.
We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are.
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How does “carrying your own weather” help with, Leadership, Success.
Proactive, leaders, carry their own weather, reactive people give over there weather. They metaphorically give their power to other people. Proactive people choose their response to any situation, any crisis, any reaction based on values, not based on other people.
Here’s a great example of, carrying your own weather.
My son and I were in Miami and we came upon this intersection in a downtown shopping district where there had just been an accident. There was no injuries, very small accident. There was this young woman, I’m gonna say in her 20s who was having this outrageous, hysterical, verbal meltdown. I mean she was out of control. This person was not, carrying her own weather, she was giving up control of her emotions to that situation. Being out of control was serving her no benefit. The point of that story was people who are proactive, they’re calm, they’re rational, they don’t let other things influence their own responses.
Leaders who “carry their own weather” move from mess to success. They put space between stimulus and response. When someone says something to them that pisses them off, they don’t immediately lash out to them.
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Welcome to Cotton For The Soul™ podcast, (www.cottonforthesoul.com) an up close and personal raw & unfiltered perspective on life experience of eating a plant-base diet. Spreading Good vibrations while living a minimalist lifestyle outside the matrix. Whether you have taken the pill of knowledge or the pill of blissful ignorance, thank you for tuning in from down the rabbit hole. Now, buckle your seat-belt because it’s about to get real! We upload a new episode every Thursday
What sets your book apart from other, leadership, and management books
I wrote this book was with very clear intention, I’ve been privileged to have my entire career dedicated in the, leadership, development industry. I worked for years with the Disney Company and now almost 25 years with the Franklin Covey company and learned a few things; but I have always struggled with a lot of these management and, leadership, practices. Like you I host a podcast and interview guests every week, I read close to 70 books a year and I wanted to write a different kind of, leadership, book because most, leadership, books are written by fortune 500 CEOs or academic professors and they’re kind of hard to relate to. I wanted to write a really real raw and relatable book where regardless of what role I was in, anybody in their career and their personal life could relate to a lot of my own struggles.
So the book is kind of uproariously funny, it’s very raw and blush. I shared a lot of my own messes in the book not because I was trying to be funny gratuitously, I just wanted to validate everybody that, leadership, is hard whether you are a formal or informal leader. It didn’t come naturally to me and so the challenge is based on Franklin Covey’s research, that if you can get your arms around these 30 principles, you will transform your influence in your relationships and your career. It’s kind of aligned with a month, 30 practices in 30 days. You can take one every day get your groove on.
Connect with Scott Miller at Franklin Covey on LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram.
I want invite you guys to join my private Facebook group called, life coach, there you can get daily tips and strategies to live in your best life now not only from me but from all the members of the group. Also please subscribe to the podcast and leave an iTunes review.
Introduction 
