Self love is the secret Out of the Snares of Child Abuse

Self Improvement Book: Out of the Snares

 

In her book ” Out of the Snares, Author Bernadette Trotman shares how, self love, can bring you out of the snares  of, poverty, addiction, child abuse and any other snare of the trapper.

The 9th Principle taught in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” is Love.
Love. This 4 letter word is so powerful! and, self love, is this love turned inside.
Love including, self love is  the most powerful force in the universe!
It can break the bonds of years, sometimes generations of, addictions, and, generational curses.

God’s Love for Humanity

God’s love, for humanity caused him to send his only begotten son Jesus to die for our sins so that we can have everlasting life.

A mother’s love, for her child gives her superhuman strength, to save her child from death or injury.

The love we have for our wife and husband keeps off stress and diseases when that love is active and healthy.
You see when we are in the throes of our love experiences, we look at the world through rose colored glasses.
Everything is sunny. We stop to smell the roses.
Our hearts beat faster when our loved ones are near.

We ride the energy waves of this spiritual connection and in turn we feel energized, we smile and laugh more and we don’t sweat the small stuff!

Research shows that this positive energy force cleanses our ethereal bodies and removes patches of stuck energies that can cause disease.

Get out of the Snares with Self Love

In my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement,
I share my encounters with love. These encounters have shaped my current world and allowed me to embrace love because I know from personal experiences how good it feels!

The energy of love combined with, sexual energy, is even more powerful!
When you transmute, sexual energy, for the person you love, you can create or imagine life changing books, companies and inventions that propel humanity forward!

But, it all starts with self-love.
Justin Bieber – Love Yourself (PURPOSE : The Movement)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyEuk8j8imI

You can’t give away what you don’t have.

In order for you to give love to another you must first have, self love, inside of you.
You have to love yourself, you have to love your world or the space you work and play in your world.

You have to love God, your creator.

When you have, self love, you gain, self confidence

Self-confidence is necessary for you to be successful in your career and in your business
Click the link below to hear a powerful story of how lack of self-confidence can ruin your world.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8J1ECHTnc64

Love doesn’t have to be the Notebook kind with grand gestures and sacrifice.
We love to watch movies like the Notebook about true love that never dies.
We are inspired by stories about Edward, Prince of Wales and Wallace Simpson and how he chose love over the throne; but most of us would settle for the simple acts of love.

This artist depicts these acts in her paintings so wonderfully and every couple should aspire to connect on this level.
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse coming up and giving them a hug while they are cooking in the kitchen?
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse watching chick flicks with them and enjoying it as much as they do?
• Who wouldn’t love going out for ice cream and licking each other ice cream cones and stealing a kiss?
• Who wouldn’t love just being in a room and just enjoying each other, laying on your husbands lap while you read a book?
• Who wouldn’t like coming home and seeing your husband with a apron on in the kitchen cooking dinner?

Who wouldn’t have, self love, after all this.

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Love shouldn’t be only for your spouse, children, family and friends. Love should be for all relationships in and out of the workplace, with customers, suppliers, everyone!

Giving love and compassion to the people you work with yields immense, self love.

In his book “How to win Business and Influence Friends” by Tim Sanders, Chief solutions Officer at Yahoo calls this BizLove from, self love.
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Is-Killer-App-Influence/dp/1400046831

This book shows how to be a LoveCat at work.

Here are 5 ways to be a LoveCat at work with, self love:

1. Greet everyone who walks into your office or room with eye contact and a smile.
2. Hug your close associates or people you have a personal relationship at work.
3. Replace the word Hate with the word, self love, whenever you can and watch it transform the energy.
4. Read lots of books and offer the knowledge gained from these books to your co-workers to help them with projects, initiatives or difficult personal situations.
5. Start a book club at work and have everybody share cliff notes from the books read.

All in all, self love, is like a boomerang, it always comes back so give it freely.

It is like seeds that blow in the wind. It does not always come back from the people we choose to love; but it always comes back

Check out my chapter on Love in my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE

If you are an author and would like to be featured in this Blog, radio and podcast

Click this link to order your interview

Author Interview, Transform your mind podcast
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“Small Business, How to Mind your own business while working your day job”
Love yourself enough to start building your personal Brand.

Click here for more information

Small Business:How to Mind Your Own Business while Working your Day Job

Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job
Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job

Additional Resources

“About Myrna Young Life Coach”

 

How to love yourself

7 Strategies to Personal Growth

Do you have the, mindset, to scale the personal mountains in your life and get to, personal growth? In this episode of 5 mins with, Coach Myrna, I share 7 tips to acquiring the mindset of an, mount Everest, climber.

The mindset of a, Mount Everest, mountain climber? How to tackle your personal mountains.

Climbing Mount Everest

Not sure why but I picked up the book, “Into Thin Air, my expedition to the top of the world,” maybe it was because one of my goals was to hike the Himalayas, not climb, Mount Everest.  Let’s be clear! but after reading this book I was amazed by what, mindsets, could accomplish.

The, positive mindset, can elevate your life and make you stretch yourself, while its opposite a negative mindset can anchor you wherever you are.

Download on iTunes

The Mindset of a Mount Everest Climber

As an, Everest, mountain climber,  you are aware that your odds of dying is high. Even if you don’t die, your chances of frost bite or other dangers increase with every feet closer to the summit! The thin air can make you lose brain cells, lack of oxygen to your brain can give you brain damage. YET! The writer says that The line of, mount Everest, climbers attempting to get to the top, looks like the line at Walt Disney world. I wonder how these, mount Everest, climbers deal with their, personal mountains, or, personal growth.

What, mindset, do you have to develop to pay the $65,000 fee, risk your life, and push yourself beyond your limits to summit,  Mount Everest?

I discovered these 7 characteristics of people who climb their, personal mountains, personal growth,  and become, Mount Everest, mountain climbers:

7 Characteristics  of Personal Growth

1. Strong Mindset – Think of the, mindset, you have to have, to WANT to climb, Mount Everest, the top of the world 29, 035 feet in the sky! Let’s put that into perspective that the height that airplanes fly at! Hopefully your, personal mountains, don’t seem of this magnitude!

2. They want to test their limits– After reading “Into Thin Air” I listened to a Ted talk by Lori Schneider. She was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis, and decided to make a goal of scaling the highest peaks on each continent before her MS progressed and she lost the use of her legs. She accomplished this feat and became the first woman with multiple sclerosis to summit,  Mount Everest. That was her, personal mountain, or, personal growth  and she climbed it and won.

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3. They faced their fears – When you face your fears, especially the ones that tell you, you are not good enough, doing something super human sure proves that you are indeed good enough and wipes out fear forever more! Fear is false evidence appearing real. It is a bully and when you stand up to it, it always runs away. You have to remove fear to climb any of your, personal mountains,

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4. They are both mentally and physically strong – Climbing your, personal mountains, is both a mental and physical challenge. Climbing your, personal mountains, has nothing to do with physical strength. In the book “Into Thin Air” one of the climbers that reached the peak was a 95 lb woman. Mental strength is more powerful than physical strength.

5. Perseverance – Climbing high altitude mountains is a marathon not a sprint. You have to acclimatize yourself to the high altitudes by climbing to incremental altitudes and climbing back down several times. In the same way you can’t scale your, personal mountains, in one jump, you have to approach it like a mountaineer or a marathon runner, take small bites at a time. Start with the small, personal mountains, and work to way the top of the world Mount Everest 29, 035 feet above the earth!

6. A Growth mindset – The climbers who summited Mt Everest saw Challenges as an opportunity to grow and develop. There is an old saying “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” Look at your, personal mountains, as a way to grow.

7. Willingness to be uncomfortable – There is no growth or victory until you get out if your comfort zone. The hardship a climber experiences on a climb is chilling. No pun intended. Climbing your, personal mountains, will definitely get you out of your comfort zone or it is not a mountain!

What can we learn from them? We learn that where there is a will, there is a way. All obstacles can be called, personal mountains, you have to climb them all one step at a time, carrying a heavy load, with frozen limbs, totally exhausted by the effort of just putting one foot in front of the other and when you finally reach the top, you have to still get back down!

If ordinary people can do it, you can climb your, personal mountains, as well. Live your dreams and dream big, really big.

Imagine being diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis and deciding to climb to the top of Mt Everest with no previous experience!

Believe in the unbelievable!
Climb beyond your limits, it is all a matter of Mind over Matter

If you have a friend that needs encouragement, feel free to share this episode and remember to subscribe and post a review.

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Additional Resources
Howe Committed Are You? – 4 Steps For Climbing Your Personal Mountains
https://www.finerminds.com/mind-power/personal-mountains/
How to Face a Challenge With Confidence
https://chopra.com/articles/how-to-face-a-challenge-with-confidence
https://blog.myhelps.us/the-quest-for-purpose-six-holistic-ways-finding-purpose/
https://blog.myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/https://blog.myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/

How Spiritual Awakening Can Solve Life’s Problems

spiritual awakening meditation

Spiritual Awakening, is like waking up from a dream.  When we live like we are sleeping, we are just numb to, consciousness.   Spirituality, or “of the spirit” are our thoughts. The concept of spiritual awakening, is that life isn’t random, there is a pattern and purpose to every existence.  Deepak Chopra calls this Synchro-destiny. Every moment is pre-destined, it is as it should be. The reason that challenges arise is simple are to make us more aware of our inner purpose and destiny.

Introduction to Spiritual Awakening

Why is life so difficult? It can be said that if you are not facing challenges, you are dead!

The bible says teaches “like fish caught in a net, problems show up unexpectedly.”

Somehow life manages to bring difficult problems, the causes of untold suffering and struggle. How you meet your challenges makes all the difference between the promise of success and, spiritual awakening, and the specter of failure. Successful people look at solutions while unsuccessful people only see the problem. Spiritual Awakening, can help solve internal struggles.

Eckhart Tolle says “we should live life accepting what comes our way;  not being too happy when good things happen to us and not being too sad when bad things happen to us.  Live in the now”.

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When your, awareness,  or,  spirituality, expands events that seemed random begin to arrange themselves in a pattern; you become aware of a larger purpose and notice these events are actually related to the greater whole. Just as our bodies operate in a state of Homeostasis; in a similar way events and coincidences are all connected and are part of God’s plan for your purpose. When you become, awakened,  your purpose (which is unique for each person) you become like an architect who has been handed a blueprint of his or her, spirituality.  Instead of laying bricks and fitting pipes at random, the architect can now proceed with confidence that he knows what the building should look like and how to construct it that’s, spiritual awakening.

The first step in this process is recognizing what level of, awareness,  you are working from right now. Every time a challenge comes your way, whether it is about relationships, work, personal transitions, or a crisis that demands action. It demands, spiritual awakening.

There are three levels of Spiritual Awakening.

Become aware of them, and you will take a huge step toward becoming a sorcerer and tapping into, spirituality.

 

Level 1: Contracted Awareness  or no Spirituality 

This is the level of the problem, and therefore it immediately grabs your attention. If all you see is the problem, then you need, spiritual awakening.  Something has gone wrong. Expectations have turned sour. You face obstacles that don’t want to move.  As resistance mounts, your situation still doesn’t improve because you are not tapping into your, spirituality.  If you examine the level of the problem, the following elements are generally present:

  • Your desires are thwarted. Something you want is meeting with opposition. You feel as if every step forward is a battle.
  • You keep doing more of what never worked in the first place.
  • There is an underlying anxiety and fear of failure.
  • Your mind isn’t clear. There is confusion and inner conflict.
  • As frustration mounts, your energy is depleted. You feel more and more exhausted because you need to wake up, you need, spiritual awakening.

You can tell if you are stuck at the level of contracted, spiritual awakening, by one simple test:

  • Do you feel like the more you struggle to get free of the problem, the more you are trapped in it? In addition the law of attraction states that what you think about you bring about. The end result is that you get on the wave of negative thoughts , your, spirituality,  that attract more of the same so not only does your problem not get resolved; but you attract more problems into your circumstance. Meditation, with  positive thoughts, smiling, prayer, repeating positive mantras or scriptures are ways to create positive energies and break the negative cycle and start you, spiritual awakening.
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Level 2: Expanded Awareness or Spiritual Awakening 

This is the level where solutions begin to appear. Your vision extends beyond the conflict, giving you more clarity. You are becoming one with your, spirituality.  For most people this level isn’t immediately available, because their first reaction to a crisis is to contract and feel the pain of the situation. They become defensive, wary, and fearful. But if you allow yourself to expand, you will find that the following elements enter your, awareness:

  • The need to struggle begins to diminish. You put the problem in God’s hands.
  • You start to let go. You stand on the principle that all roads lead to your destination
  • More people connect with you. You get council
  • You approach decisions with confidence.
  • You meet fear realistically (fear is perceived) and it starts to lessen.
  • With clearer vision, you no longer feel confused and conflicted.

You can tell that you have reached this level of, awareness, when you no longer feel stuck; a process has begun. With greater expansion, unseen forces come to your aid. You move forward according to what you desire from your life, your, awareness, and,  spirituality.

 

Level 3: Pure Spiritual Awakening  or Enlightenment

Pure, spiritual awakening, is when no problems exist. You have transcended suffering as Buddha did. Every challenge is a creative opportunity. You feel completely aligned with the forces of nature. You have aligned with your, spiritual awakening, and your, spirituality. What makes this possible is that, awareness, can expand without limits. Although it may seem that it takes long time to have true mastery of your mind and get on the, spiritual awakening, path to reach pure, awareness; the truth is exactly the opposite. At every moment pure, awareness, is in contact with you, sending creative impulses. All that matters is how open you are to the answers being presented. When you are fully open, the following elements will be present: There is no struggle.

  • You are present in the now. Your mind is not busy with noise about the past or anticipating the future.
  • Desires reach fulfillment spontaneously.
  • The next thing you want is the best thing that could happen to you. You are a benefit to yourself and your surroundings.
  • The outer world reflects what is happening in your inner world.
  • You feel completely safe. You are at home in the Universe.
  • You view yourself and the world with compassion and understanding.

To be completely established in pure, awareness, of,  spirituality, and, enlightenment, is the basis of, spirituality, a state of unity with everything in existence. Ultimately, every life is moving in that direction. Without attaining the final goal, you can tell that you are in contact with pure, awareness, if you feel truly yourself, in a state of peace and freedom.

Each of these levels brings its own kind of experience. This can be easily seen when there is a sharp contrast or a sudden change. Love at first sight takes a person without warning from contracted, awareness,  to expanded, awareness, and is a, spiritual, experience. Instead of relating in the normal social way, suddenly you see immense appeal, even perfection, in one other person. In creative work there is the “Aha!” experience. Instead of wrestling with a blocked imagination, suddenly the answer presents itself, fresh and new! No one doubts that such epiphanies exist. They can be life changing, as in the so- called peak experience, when reality is flooded with light and a revelation dawns. What people don’t see is that expanded, awareness, should be our normal state, not a moment of extraordinary difference.

Problems with, Spirituality

Listening to people tell their stories of problems, obstacles, failure, and frustration (an existence trapped in contracted, awareness, and,  spirituality, one sees that reaching a new vision is critical. It is all too easy to get lost in particulars. The difficulties of facing each challenge are often overwhelming. No matter how intensely you feel your situation, which has its own unique difficulties, if you look to the right and left, you will see others who are just as caught up in their situations. Strip away the details, and what remains is a general cause of suffering: lack of, awareness, that everything is impermanent. Unless you are shown how to expand your, awareness, you have no choice but to experience the state of contraction caused from pain and suffering.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

Just as the body flinches when faced with physical pain, the mind has a reflex that makes it draw back when faced with mental pain. Tony Robbins says that “people move away from pain and towards pleasure” Here again, a moment of sudden contrast makes it easy to experience what contraction feels like. Imagine yourself in any of the following situations:

  • You are a young mother who has taken your child to the playground. You chat for a moment with another mother, and when you turn around, you can’t see your child.
  • At work you are sitting at your computer when someone casually mentions that there are going to be layoffs, and by the way, the boss wants to see you.
  • You open your mailbox and find a letter from the Internal Revenue Service and you remembered that you do not have your receipts.
  • While driving you approach an intersection when, out of the blue, a car behind you swerves past your car and runs a red light.
  • You walk into a restaurant and see your spouse sitting with an attractive companion. They are leaning in toward each other, holding hands and talking in low voices.

It doesn’t take much imagination to feel the sudden change of, awareness,  that these situations provoke. Panic, anxiety, anger, and apprehension flood your mind; these are the result of brain changes as the lower brain takes precedent over the higher brain, triggering the release of adrenaline as part of an array of physical responses known as the stress response. Any feeling is both mental and physical. The brain gives a precise representation of what the mind is experiencing, drawing on infinite combinations of electro chemical signals coursing through one hundred billion neurons. A brain researcher can pinpoint with ever-increasing accuracy exactly those regions that produce such changes. What cannot be seen on an MRI is the mental event that incites all these changes, because the mind functions at the invisible level of awareness or consciousness. We can take these two terms as synonyms, but let’s explore them a little.

 

Business Problems created from lack of Spiritual Awakening

Spirituality, deals with your state of, awareness. It isn’t the same as medicine or psychotherapy. Medicine deals in the physical aspect where bodily changes occur. Psychotherapy deals with a specific difficulty, such as anxiety, depression, or actual mental illness. Spirituality, confronts, awareness, directly. It aims to produce higher consciousness. In our society this is seen as less real than the other ways of approaching problems. In times of trouble, people cope as best as they can with a swirling confusion of fear, anger, mood swings, and everyday struggle. It doesn’t even occur to them to pair the two words, spirituality, and solution in the same sentence; this points to a limited vision about what spirituality really is, and what it can do for you. We must incorporate our non-physical being with our physical body to solve everyday problems.

 

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reprogram-your-unconscious-mind/

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

 

 

 

Why Chemistry is the Most Important Ingredient in Relationships

Maintaining long- term Relationships

Chemistry, is energy.  It cannot be created or destroyed. Some call it physical attraction; but, Chemistry, is biological. It happens when your DNA gets excited by the other person’s DNA.

As we head into the New Year I know that many of you are engaging the, Law of Attraction, to bring you a spouse or a mate in 2021.

We are not meant to be alone. The Bible says that Two are better than one, because If either of them falls down, one can help the other,  so we are hard wired with the need to share our lives with a significant other.

Listen to the audio here:

What are the 3 most important qualities in Relationships

I want to share three of the foundational qualities of love, relationships.

  • Compatibility,
  • Chemistry, and
  • Communication
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Let’s start with, compatibility. There is a significant amount of dating sites connecting couples based on, compatibility.

Is Compatibility the most Important quality in Relationships’

Compatibility, is important; but not the most important. Compatibility, is based on likes and dislikes, Like Religious preferences, standard of living, education etc.

But there is an old saying that says opposites attract.

There is also a new word floating around the internet and that is, polarity. Polarity is like the north and South Pole. Opposite ends of the spectrum and we need this polarity in relationships to keep the fires burning.

So when you marry someone who is just like you and you are so, compatible, love coaches say that sooner or later married couples stop having sex because there is no, polarity.

Book: reclaim your visibility, Black Fathers
Book: reclaim your visibility, Black Fathers

What is Chemistry?

Now let’s look at, Chemistry. Chemistry, is energy.  It cannot be created or destroyed. Some call it physical attraction; but, Chemistry, is biological. It happens when your DNA gets excited by the other person’s DNA. It is random; but absolutely essential for a long lasting, love connection. It is what makes your heart ache when you are apart.

Chemistry, is also reflected in the bedroom. A lack of, chemistry, will mean boring, emotionless sex. A high degree of, chemistry, will mean intense, life-altering, heart-pounding sex that causes your mind to cosmically splatter itself on the walls of your consciousness. Good times.

Some call , chemistry, connection but whatever you call it, you know when it is there and when it is not.

Some call, chemistry, meeting your, soul mate. I do believe that our souls know when we connect to our perfect match. When you meet your,  soul mate, the connection is immediate, you feel the, chemistry.

Steve Harvey said that his wife walked into one of his comedy shows in a crowd of hundreds and he stopped what he was doing and told her she was going to be his wife. There are thousands of stories like this to highlight what, chemistry, looks like.

When my husband first saw me, he said he felt this warm feeling in his body that is DNA, that is, chemistry!  The first time I spoke to my husband  my heart did summersaults for a week! Definitely, chemistry.

But here is the question of the day. Can you have a successful marriage with, compatibility, and no, chemistry? I am sure you can with commitment; but it would be equivalent to being married to your roommate.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Is Effective Communication the foundation for a Happy Marriage?

Finally, let’s look at, communication

Communication, usually gets the blame when a marriage or relationship fail, because if there is no, communication, you can’t have a successful marriage or relationship.

We all have different, communication, styles so, effective communication, is the most important and the least understood dynamic. It is the deal breaker.

Conclusion: Chemistry Compatibility Communication

As we wrap up, I want to leave you with some of the main differences between men and women.

  • Women are all about their feelings, Men don’t trust feelings.
  • Women connect emotionally with “talking,” Men talk to pass on data, period.
  • Women have to feel good to do good, Men have to do good to feel good.
  • Women want to hear all about it, Men don’t want to talk about it.
  • Women need to feel connected to have sex, Men connect with sex.
  • Women’s happiness resides in the state of their relationships;  all their relationships. Men’s happiness resides in their accomplishments and their ability to provide and protect their love ones.
  • Women get depressed when they feel like all they do is give but that they don’t get back, while Men get depressed when they feel no one appreciates them.

Understanding these differences is the first step towards creating successful long  lasting relationships. Check out John Gray book “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”

Additional Resources

Are you waiting on Love? How Single Women over 40 Find Love

 

How to, Find your Soulmate

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

How to Change Core Beliefs

 

Do you know that your, core beliefs, affect everything you do in life? Well it’s true.  What you believe is how you show up in every circumstance in your life.

Listen to full interview here: 

For example: Do you consistently find yourself in situations where men are trying to bully you or treat you less than you are worth? It may because of a, core belief, that started with how your father treated your mother or even you.

Introduction Core Beliefs 

Your, core belief, could be that you are a victim and that belief keeps you trapped in that story.

The thing about a, core belief, is that it cannot be easily changed.

Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:

“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in, core beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this, core belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.”

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

We all have existing, core beliefs, in four areas:

  • How we feel love,
  • our self-worth,
  • how we feel security, and
  • fulfillment.
  • Life after death. 

Your, core beliefs, can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one, like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness to help you achieve any goal. 

Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs 

A, positive core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:

  • I am loving and lovable.
  • I am worthy.
  • I am safe and trusting.
  • I am fulfilled and whole.

The bible teaches that for God to answer prayer you must first believe and have faith that God is first able and willing to give you the desires of your heart; but there are ways to improve the chances that God will answer your prayer. A prayer is a special kind of intention or, core belief.  Therefore, the rules that apply to the,  Power of intentions, which are rules about consciousness, apply.

Your prayer will be answered, or not, depending on events happening out of sight – but not out of mind. The mind furnishes the mechanics of making any intention come true. An intention or prayer request, sent to God needs faith to rocket it to the heavens. An intention to graduate at the top of your class or to marry the man of your dreams takes focus, diligence and action. The bible also teaches “Faith  Without Works Is Dead”.

Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief? 

If you have not found love even after several tries, then you have to look deeply at what you are doing to push love away.  Do you have a, core belief, that you are unlovable? How much pain is that belief causing you? It will take a lot of work; but you have to believe that God’s light shines in you and that you deserving of love and happiness.

Do you feel empty inside all the time even though you have all the outward symbols of success like a nice home, a loving husband, a good job, 2 kids and a dog? Then your, core belief, could be that you need to make a contribution to the world like Mother Theresa or like Nelson Mandela to feel fulfilled. You have to change that, core belief, that maybe your purpose is to support your children and help them to fulfill their purpose in the world.  Sometimes our role in God’s kingdom is not to change the world but to change one person!

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Here is A Self-Awareness Exercise to help you understand Your, Core Beliefs,

Look upon what’s happening now in your life as a reflection of your, core beliefs.

Are there any patterns you see? For example:

  • Do all your relationships fail?
  • Are you in constant debt?
  • Do you find it hard to keep friends?

Listen to yourself. Once you figure it out, then turn it around. Ask yourself:

  • What do I want?
  • What would I have to believe in order to have this?

Next, you’re going to re-program yourself.

You may need the help of a coach like, Myrna Young, or mentor but; self-awareness is the key to changing your, core beliefs,

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As Tony Robbins says, you must associate tremendous pleasure to your new, core belief,  For example. See yourself in a loving and fulfilling relationship, going on dream vacations and having a wonderful life together and believe that you are a woman any man can love!

Additional resources:

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/challenging-automatic-thoughts-positive-thoughts-worksheets/

Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept

Self-concept refers to how one perceives themselves, their past experiences, their abilities, their prospects for the future, and any other aspect of the self. Aaron Beck’s cognitive triad, discussed below, deals with self-concept and the construction of the self. The basic idea of how our self-concepts and cognitive biases affect our lives has to do with automatic thoughts.

For example, someone with a negative “self-referential schema” is more likely to take things personally, leading to automatic thoughts like “People are not talking to me because I am an unlikable person”, rather than exploring other possibilities (Disner et al., 2017). A negative self-referential schema can also lead to increased severity of depression symptoms. Most importantly, a negative self-concept can lead to an unending cycle of negative thoughts.

This is because people with negative self-referential schemas exhibit an attentional bias. For example, when asked to decide whether an adjective is self-referential or not, people with depression are more likely to endorse negative adjectives than healthy controls, and they show an attentional bias by being quicker to endorse negative adjectives and quicker to reject positive adjectives than healthy controls (Disner et al., 2017). In turn, being likelier to endorse negative adjectives is correlated with longer “retrospectively reported” depressive episodes, demonstrating the cycle of negativity.

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

infinite possibility

In the world of, Quantum physics, it was discovered that matter can be both a particle and a wave. That everything exists in the wave format, infinite possibility,  until it is observed. So to live in, infinite possibility, is to know that you have a, vortex, of un-manifested possibility waiting to become your reality. 

In this episode Life coach Myrna Young teaches on living in the state of, infinite possibility. Quantum physics, tells us that until something is observed, it is in the form on the infinite.

Listen to the full interview here: 

Introduction 

Observation turns the wave, infinite possibility,  into a particle.

Let me explain:  when we are born we have, infinite possibilities. We were all born with a purpose and the talent to fulfill that purpose.  God said

“ I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

But God also gave us free will, which means that we got to choose which road we wanted to take in life. Either towards our purpose or away from it.

As a kid we dreamed big, we lived in the state of, infinite possibility,  We wanted to become doctors and lawyers, firemen and policemen, scientists and movie stars. Our future was a wave full of, infinite possibility.  Them someone told us, we were not good at math, so we could never become a doctor or a scientist; because you have to be good at math to become a doctor, so that un-manifested possibility that was in your, vortex, is no longer. 

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Your, Vortex, represents your Law of Attraction 

The wave, infinite possibility,  is now observed and has become a particle. Regardless if that statement is true or not, it is now your reality, because perception is reality. You now no longer want to be a doctor or scientist; but think about maybe becoming a nurse or Art teacher because you don’t need to know math. 

I once interviewed Ilona Selke the author of the book “Dream Big, the Universe is listening”. She writes whatever you set your intention to, the universe conspires to bring it to you. That is called the Law of Attraction. If you missed that episode Download that episode now on iTunes now, or any of the podcast players.

Dr Martin Luther King Jr, I have a dream speech sees the, infinite possibility, of race

I love Dr Martin Luther King Jr. and his I have a dream speech. As a pastor and man of God, Dr King lived in the, infinite possibility, that this country would treat a man based on his character, and not the color of his skin. That possibility still exists today but it is still un-manifested in our, vortex. 

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So in this episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to remind you that You are the Universe apply the Law of Divine Oneness to your Life. You are made up of the same matter as the stars and the Ether. You are an infinite being with, infinite possibilities,. Do not limit yourself, because as soon as you make that observation, you become limited to what your flesh could do.

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As James Allen said, As a man thinketh so is he. You become what you think about, so think as a wave and embrace the, infinite possibilities, of your life.

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Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/

 
 

How to Communicate with your Guardian Angel

Guardian Archangel Michael

We all have at least one, Guardian Angel, assigned to us and they have two jobs; one is to love us unconditionally and the other is to get us to our predetermined expiration date. 

In today’s episode of the”Transform your Mind, to Transform your Life podcast, I interview, Keith Leon S.  Keith Leon S, is a multiple best-selling author, publisher and speaker who is well known as the book Guy.   His life purpose book called “Walking with my Angels” is  a true story with the foreword written by “Chicken Soup for the Soul” Jack Canfield.   Keith has appeared in numerous popular radio and television broadcast and his works have been covered by Ink magazine, LA Weekly, The Huffington Post,  and Succeed magazine just to name a few. Keith has spoken at events that included Jack Canfield, Bob Proctor, Neale Donald Walsch, Barbara DeAngelis, Dr. John GrayDr. Michael Beckwith, and Marianna Williamson.

Listen to the full interview here:

Keith also loves introducing people to their inner guidance system whom he calls heavenly helpers. Keith can you introduce us to your story. 

Keith’s story of his Guardian Angel

Well it’s the story of my life and how many times my, Guardian Angel,  intervened to keep me on the planet.  I should have died eight times already and miracles has kept me alive. These miracles happened when I was a child and, so even from childhood I had this question.   What was so great about me that I would be saved and so many people were not. What am I here to do that is so grand that miracles keep happening to keep me on the planet?  

It wasn’t until my early 20’s that I actually received the answer to that question.  I received that answer from my, earth bound Angel. My, earth bound Angel, John appeared to me as a man;  but was really my, earthbound  Angel, and told me that his job was to take me from,

“Believing in nothing to believing in  Everything”

He performed,  miracles, just to get me to open my mind and believe in him and believe that all things are possible. He  eventually did reveal my life purpose to me in a very specific way. He told me at one point he would saved my life and once he did that I would have to let him go because then he would be off to help another person.  

One of the lessons he taught me, was he took me  into a cave that was pitch black and taught me to trust even when I can’t see anything in front of me.  

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Guardian Angels and Its a Wonderful Life Movie

That part of your story reminded me of the movie a Wonderful Life. 

I also read the book “A Peaceful Warrior. ”  After reading that book I thought that the author had followed me around.  It was exactly my story! I actually had to omit a lot of things from my book  because there were the same as the author described. 

I thought he must have followed me around with the pen and paper. The story was exactly like mine. I really feel like it’s the same angel!  So I actually had to omit a lot of things from my story because his experience was almost the same as mine.

You started talking to angels when you were like eight years old or younger and you talked about the times in your life’s when your, Guardian Angel, saved your life or warned you of danger. I specifically remember in your book, the time when this man on the street asked you to touch his penis and your, guardian angel, told you to run and shout for your mom.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

How did you know you were talking to your, Guardian Angel, and  not a voice in your head, because we all have about 5 voices in our head?

When I was a child my, Guardian Angel,  voice came from outside of me.  His voice would come from different places. Sometimes would be up in the ceiling, sometimes in the corner, sometimes it  would be behind me or to my left, sometimes my right, sometimes right in front of me.

Because I was a child, I feel that if my, Guardian Angel, voice came from inside my head, then I would be doubting myself and questioning myself.  But because it was outside of me and I could hear it audibly, just like I hear you talking to me right now, then I was sure the voice was my, Guardian Angel.

I just learned pretty quickly that when I do what my, Guardian Angel, tells me to do, everything goes just great.

Tell us about your, Earth bound Angel, you called him John in your book.

You said the John your, earth bound Angel, told you your purpose.  You said you didn’t understand why you were so special before John showed up.

 

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Does everyone have a, Guardian Angel?

Everyone has at least one, Guardian Angel, assigned to them.  They just don’t know it. Like my mom. She thought she had mother’s intuition.  That’s what she called it; but she was being guided by her, Guardian Angel. She would say, don’t go out and ride that skateboard,  you will get a fractured wrist,  and I’d be like  yeah  mama leave me alone.  I’d go ride that skateboard and fractured my wrist.

There was even a point where my, Guardian Angel, advised her at a time when she was manic depressive. There was a time when my mom was really depressed and she just decided that she was gonna kill herself and me and my sister. So she closed all the windows and turned the gas on in the house and a voice told her “you can’t do that,  open the windows and turn off the gas.”  She didn’t listen and the voice became louder.  “YOU CANNOT DO THAT, OPEN THE WINDOWS AND TURN OFF THE GAS.” She said the voice sounded like GOD, she freaked out and turned off the gas and opened the windows.

She didn’t tell me this story until much later when she was on her deathbed and  I was telling her that I should have died seven times already and my, Guardian Angel, saved me and she added oh yeah it should be eight times!

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We all have at least one, Guardian Angel, assigned to us and they have two jobs one is to:

  • To love you unconditionally, so they like your mom, there’s nothing you could do that would make them love you less.
  • To just get you to your predetermined expiration date. There’s a time that you’re here on the earth, and they have to get you to that date.  So whenever you avoid  an accident or any danger your, Guardian Angel, is intervening to get you to your predetermined expiration date.  In the meanwhile they’re standing by going oh my God, I could do so much more for you; but because you have free will they cannot do any more than those two things unless you invite them to do more.
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Here is how you invite your, Guardian Angel,  to do more for you

First of all say thanks a lot for keeping me safe.  I’m inviting you to show up for me. If you’d like to show yourself physically to me that’s okay too. If you want to have it where I ask a question and I go out to the car and the next song that comes on the radio is the exact answer, great.  However you want to show up now that I have invited you, I will pay attention.

What is the message that like your readers to take away about, Guardian Angels, from your book “Walking with Angels”

I wanted to share with everyone in the world what I know is absolute truth and that is this.

You are directly connected to the source energy that created everything in this world.

I call it, Guardian Angels,  and you may call it intuition, our guidance system, energy, you may call it Source, God, Jehovah, Buddha.  I like to say it doesn’t care what you call it, as long as you call it!

So I’m called to share with you that if you’re willing to sit, ask, and listen, you will get guidance from your, Guardian Angel.

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Notice there’s just three instructions, sit, ask and listen.  A lot of people sit in meditation and prayer; but are asking the wrong questions. Any question that starts with Why is not a question that you want an answer to. Instead Ask, How can I be more loving?  What can I do to create more and attract more abundance into my life?

If you’re going to sit, ask and listen.  Listening being the most important of those three words. I just said we’re sitting and asking; but when do we really sit long enough to get the answer?  So if you listen, you can access the answer to any question that you have; because you are in direct communication with  the Creator.

Your words have power, and here’s what I want you to know.  You have more power within you than you’ll ever know.  You have more power in your little finger than you think you have in your whole entire body.  And so my book will show you all the ways that you may have been disconnected from your source.

It will share with you how to reopen the floodgates to start manifesting your dreams and your desires and to access the inner knowing that you have within you.

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What is the difference between a, Guardian Angel, and, Archangels,

Guardian Angels, like I said, we all have at least one assigned to us. They have a clear job.  To love you unconditionally and get you to your predetermined expiration date.  They’re like your buddy, they’re with you all the time.

Arc Angels, are  more famous Angels. Like, Archangel Michael. Arc Angels, are really great at specific things. People have been channeling them for years.

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Archangel Michael,  is the warrior who fights against Satan and his emissaries. The defender of those who love God. The protector of the people of God.

The, Archangel Michael, the ‘celestial warrior’, is the protector of swordsmen and masters of arms. His skills as a judger of souls have also made him the patron of all trades that involve the use of assessments, such as traders, pharmacists, pastry chefs. He is also patron saint of the Police.

Archangel Michael, is  the protector. You can say,  Archangel Michael, I’m going to see my mom every for Thanksgiving dinner.  Will you wrap your wings of protection around me right now and if anything negative comes at me energetically, let it bounce off your wings and hit the floor.  Because the, Archangel Michael, can be anyplace and anywhere, he can be doing that for me and be doing that for someone across the U.S and someone in Africa or  someone in India simultaneously.

You start with your, guardian angel,  and then you step up to the, Archangels.  So, Archangel Michael, can give support that would help me move forward.

Archangel Gabriel, is one of the spirits closest to God, before his heavenly throne, the one who revealed to Daniel the secrets of God’s plan, announced to Zechariah the birth of John the Baptist  and to Mary that of Jesus.

Archangel Gabrielle,  is the saint who opens doors for you.  Like a business and things that you want to manifest.

Archangel Raphael, stands before the throne of God , accompanied and protects Tobias in his perilous journey and healed his father from blindness and his future bride from the influence of evil.

If you found this content inspirational, please subscribe to the Transform your Mind podcast and post a review on iTunes.

Additional Resources, Archangels

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reprogram-your-unconscious-mind/

How to Stop Self Sabotaging Behavior

https://blog.myhelps.us/medical-intuitive-readings-what-your-spirit-is-telling-you-through-symptoms/

Angels

https://www.thecircle.com/us/magazin/life_and_destiny/archangel-gabriel.do

 

Tantric Sex: How to Use Tantra Energy during Sex

Tantric sex

Sexologist and, Tantra Facilitator, Ms Lorae Lauridge, teaches us the difference between, biological sex and, Tantric sex.  Lorae shares how to use, Tantra, energy to have multiple orgasms and full body orgasms.

Listen to the full interview 

Before we get into out topic, I want to share this story I came across while researching this topic.

Tree of Life, and the, tree of knowledge, as found in the book of Genesis is our first introduction to, sex.

When God placed Adam in the, Garden of Eden, he made him in his own image and that is both male and female because God is both the Alpha and the Omega.

God decided to separate the male and the female so that they could evolve separately, so he took the rib out of the man and he called her Woman; but he made it so that neither the man or the Woman can be complete without the union of the two Souls through, sex,  and spiritual energy,   So that’s where this energy comes into play, the only way for two souls, a man and a woman to create is by coming together with the force of the universal sexual energy, sex.

Sex and Sexual Energy

Let’s go back to instructions God give Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.  He told them that everything in the, Garden of Eden,  could be consumed except the, tree of knowledge also called  The tree of Life, is a symbol for the knowledge of, sex,  and spiritual energy,  So when Satan tempted Eve with the knowledge that she surely would not die if she partook with the, tree of knowledge, or from the, tree of life, he was telling the truth.

You see she wouldn’t die physically; but she did die spiritually. We all did because by partaking of the tree of knowledge without the guidance of God, Eve brought pain and suffering into the world.  There’s nothing more beautiful and creative than, sex, and spiritual energy, with your spouse, that is how God intended it.  This joining together is the most powerful energy and vibration in the universe and that’s why it destroys.  It is often the tool that Satan uses to steal kill and destroy.

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What is, Tantric Sex?

Lorae is a sacred sexuality educator, she coaches men, women, and couples to be enlightened lovers.  Her method is to blend  ancient holistic practices like, Tantra, with the latest Western medical and scientific discoveries in psychology health and, sex. Lorae says mastering sexuality is like mastering a sport, you need to learn from experts and have a certain amount of passion and dedication and create an environment of fun.

Tantric Sex, teaches men and women how to relax and feel at ease with their bodies and how to communicate authentically and develop mastery over their own sexual responses.  In order to be able to map, enjoy and navigate the exotic and foreign landscape of their partner’s bodies.

Sex, Spiritual Energy, and Sexual Transmutation

Sexual Transmutation is energy that is transmuted to create. Most of the CEOs who have achieved greatness in this world is because they transmuted the, sexual energy, either from their spouse or the other woman and they’ve learned to transmute that, sex, and, sexual energy, into creating something big.

Spiritual Energy Exchange: SEX

Spiritual Energy Exchange, is not the act of, sex, it’s not the biology of the act, it’s the force that is created when two people come together in the act of, sex, or procreation,  and it’s one of the most powerful forces in the Universe. Actually it is the most powerful force in the Universe.

Understanding that, SEX, is more than the biology of the act, but the energy, Spirited Energy Exchange, and it is the way to connect with the divine and get back into the Garden of Eden.

Sacred Sexuality, is different from biological, sex.  Regular, sex, is just functioning on one Level.  I’ll explain this quickly.  Think of the Android commercial where you see this gentleman playing a piano and it’s a big huge intense, you know concerto singing and he’s using all the keys and it’s very powerful; but he turns around and you see he’s playing on the piano that has only one note. That is what biological, sex, is like.  You are only playing one note, or one dimension. Tantric Sex on the other hand is playing all the notes!

While, sex,  spiritual energy, and sacred sexuality has many nuances and variances and subtleties and you have choices as to its expression.  It can be physical, it can be emotional,  it can be the psychological, it can be spiritual or it can be a combination of all of these or any kind of blend of these pieces.

In this higher level of engaging with yourself you can do, self pleasuring, or can be used in relationships to deepen your connection with your partner on that mind-body-spirit level.

 Sex, Sexual Orgasm, multiple orgasms,  Full-body Orgasm,

Orgasm, is referred when the body has an orgasmic releases.  Sexual, orgasm, for most people is completed in a matter of seconds.

Tantric sex, and, orgasm, facilitates multiple orgasms.   Tantric Sex, is the ability to tap into the orgasmic energy and have it move through the physical body and link up to those other longer extended orgasmic states.  The standard sexual, orgasm, called biological, orgasm, which for some people is no longer than ten seconds.  Some women and men can have, multiple orgasms, which is this a buildup of neurologically through the genital genitalia moving through the nervous system.

The, full-body orgasm, is like a wave. It’s not genitally focused. You feel pulsations and this explosion from head to toe!  Wow a lot of people haven’t had either of those two, multiple orgasms, or full body orgasm.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Download and listen to the full interview to learn how to have, multiple orgasms, and, full body orgasms,

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Also Please subscribe to the Transform Your Mind podcast and post a review on iTunes to receive Life changing tips and strategies each week to live the life you dreamed about.

Additional Resources:

The Alchemy of Desire: The Power of Attention

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sexopedia/a8100798/how-to-have-tantric-sex/

A Beginner’s Guide to Tantric Sex

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-the-energy-of-desire-to-create-something-magical/

How Black Fathers Can replace the Absentee Dad Myth

Black Fathers be Visible to your children

Black Fathers, are so valuable, we are so important.  We have to take care of ourselves, we have to get over this idea of stepping back or I can’t deal with this and be there for our black families.

Carl Stokes Jr. is an author, keynote speaker, professor and social worker and author of the  brand new book  “A Straightforward Guide for Black Fathers to Improve Themselves and their Relationships with their Children”  So this post is about Fatherhood, and the Issue of, Black Fathers, because in the black community we have the label of the, black fathers,  are usually, absentee Dads.

Listen to the full interview here:

Introduction Why Black Fathers need to be visible

Dr Carl decided to write this book and mentor, black fathers, because it is something that the black community needs to get better at.  Carl Stokes Jr. is an award-winning social worker, educator, college instructor and recently received his doctorate in education. His dissertation focuses on, Black Fathers, and their perseverance in community colleges. Dr Carl is passionate about working to uplift the black community.   He also enjoys teaching, parenting classes, for a small non-profit organization.

Myrna – As a black man tell us your story of your relationship with your, father, and your current relationships with your daughters. I’m curious to know, because a lot of times we work on areas that we have lived through.

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Dr Carl – What’s interesting is that my answer is both. I grew up with my, black father, and without my, black father.   My dad was in the home until I was about 10 or 11 years old, unfortunately though during that time he had fallen victim to the crack cocaine epidemic of the 80s. So my, father, was in a home; but life was very difficult during that time; because of what he was going through.

However, he was still in the home, there was still benefits of his presence. Then things got really bad to the point where we were basically forced out.  I went through that whole period of teenage years and everything without guidance of my, father.  So, as an adult, I can see the difference between an, absentee dad, and a, Black father, in the home.  Because even though my, father,  wasn’t at his best, when he was in the home I benefited form him being visible.

Why Black Fathers should be visible to their kids

Myrna – So between the ages of 1 and 10 your dad was in the home; but he even though he couldn’t be a, father, because he was under the influence of crack cocaine, what you are saying is that the fact your, father, was in the home; it had some positive effect on you.

Dr Carl – Absolutely! Discipline wise, teaching me how to protect and take care of my mother, because he was gone a lot.  He would have conversations with me. It was nice having a, father, to talk to. It was a benefit to me and my younger brother.

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I can sit here and say that I did get lessons from having that male presence in the house. I can also say I also experienced domestic violence and theft. I also experienced run-ins with the police and people from the street and all that. I wouldn’t say stick it out regardless, because I just as easily could have went the other way. I was just fortunate enough to take the more positive path.

Why is being a visible Black Father is Important

Myrna – Let’s transition to your relationship with your daughters. You have three daughters. How do you parent them knowing that you didn’t have a, father, since you were 10 years old?

Dr Carl – Okay, this is where it gets a little bit interesting and sort of complicated, because I became a, black father, at 17 years old. I was a senior in high school, unfortunately because I was so young and because I didn’t have the guidance and I was immature, I ended up not handling my, parenting, as a, Black father, the way I should have. My daughter’s mother decided to move to Atlanta Georgia and take my daughter with her.

I didn’t know I had rights. I didn’t know that I shouldn’t have allowed her to take my daughter without working out any arrangements. The separation caused damage to the relationship between me and my first daughter. When I became a, Black Father, to my other two daughters, I vowed that nothing was going to stop me from being a good dad. Fatherhood, became my absolute top priority.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Replacing the Absentee Black Father Myth

Myrna – Why is it that traditionally, black fathers, have been absent? We know we’ve got the crack epidemic, we know we’ve got prison; but even when none of those circumstances are present, black fathers, still don’t make it a priority to parent their children. Why do you think that is the situation?

Dr Carl – We kind of lowered our own expectations as, Black dads. We have very little guidance and then when we put the other things in a mix;

  • incarceration,
  • impoverished conditions,
  • relationship struggles and finances.
  • It causes extra stress and strain on, Black fathers, and their relationships with their kids.

Myrna – I actually just started reading Mike Tyson’s book “Undisputed Truth”. If you want to hear about a messed up Black family with no role models, this is the book to read.  I couldn’t believe all the stuff that Mike Tyson lived through as a child without a, Black father, and an, absentee dad. How can, Black Dads, have a relationship with their kids and a relationship as a husband when all they know is dysfunction?

A Guide for Black Fathers

Why did you write the book “Reclaim your Visibility: A Straightforward Guide for Black Men to Improve Themselves and their Relationship with your Children?

Dr Carl – I wrote this book simply because of this: I got it wrong for many years and I want to assist in the idea of, black fathers,  not having to go through being an, absentee dad, and learn from my mistakes. My eldest daughter and I  had a very rocky path and I don’t want that to go in vain. I don’t want to just talk about the plight of, Black Fatherhood,  I want to do something about it. If I can help one, Black Father, have a better relationship with their child or children, then it’s totally worth it.

Book: reclaim your visibility, Black Fathers
Book: reclaim your visibility, Black Fathers

Myrna – What makes your guide book different from all the other, Fatherhood, books?

Dr Carl – I am not the old wise man on top of the mountain talking to the village. The reason why this book is different is I literally started to repair my relationship with my eldest daughter this past summer. So this book is about real life, not theory.

Myrna – A lot of, Black Fathers, are, absentee dads. Do you think that they can repair the damage and build back a relationship with their children?

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Dr Carl – Absolutely! We can’t always take it back; but we have to learn from these mistakes and move on. That is the basis of the book and that’s why it’s called “A Straightforward Guide for Black Fathers to Improve Themselves and their Relationships with their Children” Because a lot of times, black fathers, need healing ourselves.

How to offer support for Black Father in College

Myrna – You mentioned that you did a doctoral thesis and research on Black Fathers in Colleges. Tell us about that.

Dr Carl – The dissertation is actually on, Black Student Fathers, and their persistence and perseverance in community Colleges. I was a community college, Black Father, with a child and a lot of times, these schools have programs for mothers; but no guidance for, Black Dads. I wanted to do something different and focus on this very specific population, black student fathers, in community college settings.

Myrna – Tell us about your media company – Stokes Media LLC.

Dr Carl – In the media piece, I do several things. This is my official company where I do speaking engagements, seminars conferences, trainings and mentoring. The other sides of my books are self-published. I’m also assisting other people to help get their stories out and become published Authors. So the whole Stokes Media concept embodies all those things.

Myrna – Tell our listeners and those watching on YouTube how to contact you and get a copy of your book.

Dr Carl – The easiest way to contact me is to go directly to my website www.drcarlstokesjr.com. You can go right to the contact page and fill out the inquiry form. You can ask questions, leave comments/feedback or whatever you want to do.

Myrna – You also mentor, Black Fathers, at a non-profit organization. Tell us about that.

Dr Carl – I actually do, parenting classes, for an agency here in Buffalo called the “Family Help Center”. So when parents are looking for assistance, I help.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

How Co-parenting can help Black Fathers stay visible

Myrna – When you do the, parenting classes, can you walk us through some of your subjects or the things that you talk about? In this conversation we’ve been focusing on, Black Fathers, but all fathers can benefit from your book and, parenting. What advise would you give them?

Dr Carl – I would say the number one advice I would give to parents is on, co-parenting. I don’t care if you don’t get along, I don’t care if all broke up because he was doing this or doing that.  What’s important is the child or the children. We have to learn to get along for the sake of the children and be fair to each other for the sake of the children. Your children are witnessing and understanding these arguments, these disagreements, these accusations and things like that.

We tend to think that the kids are stupid and they’re not listening to anything. Let me tell you, they’re taking in everything, they’re taking in how you feel, they’re taking in the energy that you’re putting out and they are internalizing the things that they’re hearing. So, co-parenting, is key especially in our community we have to get that fixed.

What is the message for Black Fathers

Myrna – What is the message that you want them to take away with when they close the book?

Dr Carl – The predominant message of the book if I had to break it down into one main theme, I would say I would want my, black fathers, to understand how important we are to the situation. As a foundation of the family, to us being better as a community as a whole.  Black Fathers, are so valuable, we are so important, we have to take care of ourselves, we have to get over this idea of stepping back or I can’t deal with this.

We have to understand how meaningful it is for us to be around and holding down our families. We hold down our households, our households work together to hold down our neighborhoods, our neighborhoods hold it down together to hold down our communities and it spreads on like that.

We don’t need to worry about or hope for everybody else to do this for us, we can do it ourselves; but it starts with us being in the house and visible to our kids. Even if you don’t live in the house, I’m just saying the presence of involvement is necessary. Not everybody is going to be together, and that’s why we talk about, co-parenting. Our presence is so valuable, we have to make sure that we handle our business as a, black father.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Myrna – Where can they get the book?

Dr Carl – You can get the book on Amazon Kindle. If you want a signed copy you can get it from me directly at www.drcarlstokesjunior.com.

If anybody wants the Audio book, go to my site www.drcarlstonesjr.com. Order the Audio book and there’s a free sample on there.

Enter the code “stay visible2021” and you’ll get 25% off of the Audio book.

Conclusion

Black Fathers, are important to the community. Any father is important to the community; but we’re concentrating on our community, the black community. Our community is jacked up. Like you said you go to your friend’s house and they’ve got a mom and a dad and food in the kitchen and everybody is getting along. You’re not outside throwing things at each other and having the police come by and all that which is a lot of which is the lifestyle of some children in the, black community.

Shout out to my Atlanta audience. Hopefully your daughter can listen on the radio WDJY 99.1 FM.

I want to encourage you guys if you’re watching us on YouTube to please subscribe. We’re trying to grow our channel because it’s much more exciting to actually see the person that I’m interviewing. So, if you’re watching on YouTube, kindly subscribe so you’ll be able to get the new videos as they come out every week.

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Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes
Download on iTunes

If you’re in iTunes, please read and review because that allows us to grow our audience as well. I also have a Facebook group called Life Coach. I invite you guys all to join.

Additional Resources

Celebrating Black Love Introducing BlackdateBox

https://blog.myhelps.us/self-love-secret-out-of-the-snares/

How to Embrace Your Goddess in the Bedroom: 50 Shades of Grey Style

Embrace your Goddess in the Bedroom

Would you like to have, 50 shades of Grey, in your Bedroom? Find out how to have the, sexual confidence,  of, Dakota Johnson, by embracing your, Goddess,  in the Bedroom. Life Coach Myrna Young, interviews Intimacy and Orgasmic Coach, Margo Blake. Margo is going to teach you How to Embrace Your, Goddess, in the Bedroom with,  sexual confidence.

As a teen mom Margo was forced into developing her, sexual confidence, at an early age. At 48 years old she decided to learn the secrets of the, intimacy, that had always eluded her. Even though she was always, sexually confident, She wanted to know more about the RAW, Vulnerable parts of herself that she always held back from men and address her, fear of intimacy.  She wanted to find out for herself and also to teach other women to embrace there, intimacy issues. So she started, intimacy coaching,  teaching women How to be, sexually confident, and embrace their Goddess in the bedroom, 50 shades of grey, style.

Your own, 50 Shades of Grey, in the bedroom

In celebration of the movie “50 Shades Freed” and Valentines Day, I wanted to give my listeners a gift. A gift of Awakening along the lines of the Awakening felt by, Dakota Johnson,  by Christian Grey.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/entertainment/a17036582/jamie-dornan-naked-fifty-shades-freed/

Margo teaches women to use their voice to tell their partners what they want and don’t want. She teaches women that men should be in servitude to them and they should have, sexual confidence, about their sexuality, embracing their Goddess and their, 50 shades of grey, in the bedroom fully!

As women of all ages are bored with their partners, the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, captures and excites women, the same way Christian Grey captures and excites, Dakota Johnson. Women are bored with the vanilla love making and vanilla lifestyle. We want our ice cream with sprinkles on top!

Melania Trump is one, Sexually Confident, woman! In an interview with Howard Stern, the First Lady disclosed some steamy information about her intimate life with the President. Read more: https://amomama.com/56829-melania-trump-confides-presidents-strong.html

 

Show notes: Goddess in the Bedroom 

Can you tell my audience your back story. How did you start,  intimacy coaching?

Well I’m going to try to do this very quickly because I am 54 years old and fabulous, so I’m going to try to speed it up. I was a teenage mom at 16 years old. I started to embrace my, sexuality, as a teenager but lacked, sexual confidence, and I had no, intimacy, with my partners.

I got married and divorced and when I turned 48 I felt I was missing out on life. I was close to 50 years old and my whole history of my relationships with men was sad. Men always left me. I’m going to transition out my relationship which was going on 10 years and I wanted to be me and embrace my, sexuality and become more intimate with my partners.

That’s how I became an, intimacy coach, and started, intimacy coaching. I did a transformational workshop and certification with One Taste Coaching and I started to mentor clients for the last

six years. The last three years I’ve been on the journey of becoming an intimate orgasmic Life Coach with One Taste.

2. Question 2: What advice would you give to young women today on how to embrace their, Goddess, in the Bedroom and to How to be confident about their, sexuality?

If I had to give myself my sixteen-year-old self advice about my sexuality the first thing I would have asked was, why am I with this particular guy? As they develop, sexual confidence, you want to start telling men what you want and by doing that, we create a whole world of men of servitude. So once again the advice I would give young women and older women is learning to communicate what your desires are. I want it this way, no I don’t want it that way.

50 shades of Grey
50 shades of Grey

50 Shades of Grey the Movie

In the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, Dakota Johnson,  is a young woman inexperienced in sex and becomes drawn in the world of a, dominatrix, Christian Grey. All three movies were well received; but it still received a lot of criticism about showcasing abuse of women. What do you think the message of the film, 50 shades of grey,  is for young women like, Dakota Johnson?

The movie, 50 shades of Grey, to me is is all about love and service and sex and that kind of thing

but I remember when I took my mom to see the movie. I posted it on Facebook several women responded with outrage saying how can I glorify that movie it abuses women.

Margo- I embrace the movie, it’s of excited us to escape having a vanilla lifestyle. It’s a different

type of lifestyle that they both agree on. It’s all about giving up and surrendering to your man. It’s all about, intimacy, and, sexual confidence. That’s what, Dakota Johnson, did she surrendered to the power-play. She trusted herself , and her, sexuality.

That person that posted on your Facebook page that she was abused couldn’t have seen the movie. She didn’t see what you and I saw, because there was no abuse, it was it was consensual sex even though Christian Grey was a, dominatrix.

What constitutes, intimacy?

Margo what would you call, intimacy? Is it that raw vulnerable part that you allow your partner or your friends to see?

Margo- Intimacy, it’s the part of you that does not lie. It’s the part of you that allows your friends, your family, or your lover to look you in the eye and connect with you. So hypothetically if you are feeling sad can look at your daughter or your daughter can look at you and connect with you?

Because some of us were masks. We wear a mask our whole life, we don’t allow people to see that vulnerable part of us.

Intimacy, is being able to communicate what you’re feeling and not masking. Intimacy, is allowing that person to really see you without lying and without the drama.

Myrna – How does, intimacy, come into play in the bedroom? How do we find our, Goddess, in the bedroom?

Margo – Intimacy, is having the ability to tell your partner exactly how you want it, when you want it and how long you want it. That’s, intimacy. You don’t need to be like an army instructor, you just communicate. There’s no words it’s just your bodies and it’s just your mind.

Additional Resources 

https://blog.myhelps.us/alchemy-desire-episode-5-long-term-relationship-dance/

How to Embrace Female Sexuality and the Divine Feminine