Can you recognize your failure symptoms?

failure symptoms

Are you a, failure? Can you recognize your, failure, symptoms? How often have you said “life is short”?

Well It is! We are here on earth for a limited time to fulfill a purpose. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could go to the doctor and tell him our life symptoms and he would give us a diagnosis of success or, failure? For example if you go to the doctor today with itchy bumps and a fever, he would look at you and without running any tests diagnose you with the chicken pox.

Recognizing your, failure, symptoms early in life before you get to your 5th or 6th decade is the only way to take action to modify your behaviors. As we head into 2015, I would like to offer you the gift of consciousness. Do you have any of the symptoms below? If you do, call me for a free coaching session. Take control of your life and get a step closer to success.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

Here are 5 symptoms of, failure.

1. Sleeping too much is a symptom of, failure.

Do you sleep more than 6 hours per night or day? Thomas Edison took only 2 hour naps on his desk while he was working on his inventions. He didn’t want to sleep because he was so invested in his work. He called sleep a waste of time.

I read Donald Trump’s biography and he said that he hated going to sleep because he was so excited about his business and he didn’t want to miss anything.

Donald Trump credits only sleeping for three or four hours with staying ahead of his competition. “How does somebody who's sleeping 8 and 10 hours a day compete with someone that's sleeping three or four?” he's said.

Political leaders across the globe run their countries on short spurts of shuteye. President Obama has said he can get by on a four-hour doze. Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher ran the U.K. for a decade, on four hours a night.

The saying “the early bird catches the worm” is meant to tell you that rising early is best if you want to catch the opportunities. If you go to bed early and sleep late, that is a, failure symptom, that you will not be successful.

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2. Are you an, Introvert, or an Extrovert

A shy kid might look longingly at other kids playing in the schoolyard, afraid and unsure about how to approach them, but an introvert is perfectly content on her own.
Laurie Helgoe

Introverts, are sometimes called the “walking sleepers”. Introverts, usually allow activity to pass by them without participation, indulge in time killing pursuits, taking only the most minor role or unconstructive parts. Introverts, are also the solitaire players, the pathological bookworms, the endless crossword puzzlers, the couch potatoes. In order to succeed in business or life, you need to have the ability to sell yourself, you need social skills. You don’t have to be the life of the party; but you must be able to be comfortable at the party. Being an, introvert, and sleepwalking through life is a, failure symptom.

3. Are you drinking more than 2 drinks daily?
Drinking heavily brings on a waking sleep. Drinking affects your ability to think straight and handicaps the drinker. You will not be able to contribute fully in staff meetings, argue sensibly, plan or be proactive if you are under the influence of alcohol and thus could become a, failure.

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iHeart Radio

4. Extreme extroverts

“I always thought I was an extrovert until I became a theatre major. Then I realized I just didn't like silence.”
― Cora Carmack, Losing It

Do you count the day lost if you did not attend a dinner party, go to a movie theater, dancing at a club or hanging out with friends? To be successful you need time alone to plan, to be creative and to ponder your next move.

5. Having no goals could lead to, failure

Dr William Menninger says “a fellow must know where he wants to go, if he is going to get anywhere”

No goals are bad enough but low goals are worst. Is your goal to just keep your job and make just enough money to pay your bills? Is it to live to retirement and then collect social security? Or is it to be the top player in the “candy crush” video game?
The bible says “people without a vision will perish”. Not necessarily physical death, but spiritual death. It is exhilarating to work towards a goal. Happiness is defined as working towards a goal.

“We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on the journey toward the goal we've established for ourselves.”

The great leaders and legends of our time, all had goals, vision, mission and as they achieved one goal, they started on the next.

10 Signs You Are Going To Be A, Failure

  • You love wasting money and expect your parents to foot the bill. …
  • You are not disciplined. …
  • You don't finish what you start. …
  • You love playing the blame game. …
  • You don't believe in yourself. …
  • You don't set goals. …
  • You care too much about what others think. …
  • You don't take care of your health.

Join me for a Free webinar on how to set and achieve clear goals, how to create vision and mission statements, how to motivate your staff to excel and how to create influence.

<a href=”http://blog.myhelps.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/register-now.jpg”>register now

Additional Resources 

https://www.success.com/10-tips-to-achieve-anything-you-want-in-life/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-set-strong-goals/

Transform Your Mind Personal Development podcast.

 

How To Turn Your Pain Into Power

Abigail Damoah - Turn Your Pain Into Power

Abigail Damoah was wrongly convicted and sent to prison for 12 years. During this dark time in her life, she used inspiration for the bible story of David to find her, life purpose, of helping the women in, prison. She turned her, pain into power, and achieved tremendous personal growth by not seeing herself as a, victim.

Download podcast here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9986464-how-to-turn-your-pain-into-power.mp3?download=true

Bio

After serving five years in a Florida state prison for a crime that she didn’t commit, and then two years later being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and undergoing major surgery to remove most of her colon, Abigail learnt one very important life lesson; you will find treasure in the darkest places if you simply change your perspective by turning her, pain into power.

During her, incarceration, Abigail became a Christian and learnt that life isn’t just about her. She was surrounded by women who had endured the most horrific traumatic childhoods and were now being victimized by the very system that was supposed to help them. She found the strength to end her pity party, opening her eyes to the immense suffering of others.

She began to use her gifts to make an impact on the lives of the women she was housed with. It was during the worst season of her life that she experienced true peace, contentment, and fulfilment because she found her life’s purpose, and learned how to turn her, pain into power.  Abigail is the author of ” She is Risen from Destitute to Destiny”

book: She is Risen Turning Pain into Power
book: She is Risen Turning Pain into Power

Using Adversity to turn pain into power

Myrna: All right, so here we have a whole bunch of, adversity. Being sentenced to 12 years in, prison, even if it's for a crime you do commit, it is very traumatic. It is worst when it is a crime that you didn't commit.

Can you share your story, why you were sentenced to 12 years in, prison? I know you said you only served five of those 12 years.  Tell us how you survived that and turned that, pain into power?

Abigail: Okay, so I had my dream to live in America.  I'm from the United Kingdom and after I finished my undergraduate degree. I relocated to Atlanta, Georgia to study and pursue an MBA. I got an internship in Florida. I flew down to Florida and I met a man.  One night he called wanting to go out to a nightclub, and I agreed. He came and picked me up and we made our way to the nightclub and ended up having a car accident where he was killed, and I was seriously injured.

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

My injuries were so extensive that I spent over six weeks in the hospital. My parents at the time decided the best course of action was to take me back to the UK, because there's no way I was going to be able to look after myself in the USA.  I recuperated and got back on my feet. And then in 2011, the state of Florida issued an extradition warrant for my arrest. I was charged with vehicular homicide. The legal definition for that is reckless driving.

So, I was accused of driving in such a dangerous manner that caused death or great bodily harm to another. While I was waiting for the extradition, I began to study the laws surrounding my case and discovered that I should never have been charged with a crime in the first place. The state of Florida had sent over the deposition, the discovery and detail they had a very detailed chronology, of exactly what happened. And one of the things that should have exonerated me from the beginning, was the fact that the road was under reconstruction at the time, so they had taken down all the speed signs.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Extradition to the USA

There were no warning signs that the road was about to change and if you're not familiar with that road, you would not know that you need to slow down. So, when an accident happened, all of a sudden, a curve came up and I hit the curb and the car ended up flipping over and going into a tree. So, based on that alone, I should never have been charged with a crime. But if you know anything about the laws in the United States, you know, sometimes it can be a bit one sided.

I was extradited to America to stand trial. I had a judge who had no legal integrity, because of the way my case had been portrayed in the media. She was determined to make an example out of me. I was found guilty sentenced to 12 years Florida State Prison. After serving 5 years, the case was dismissed.

Myrna: Wow. So sorry to hear what you have been through. I'm assuming you were driving.

Abigail:  Yes, I was driving, it wasn't my car.

Myrna: Yeah, that's what I thought because he came to pick you up.

Abigail: The reason I was driving was because he got so drunk, that he was unable to continue the journey.  I was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

The Pain of prison

Myrna: So sorry for your pain. But the fact that the case was dismissed, I'm assuming that you've cleared your name.

Abigail: Yes, yes. My name is completely cleared. The sentence was vacated, and I was released from, prison.

Myrna: Did you get any money for it?

Abigail: No, absolutely nothing. The state of Florida had laws to protect themselves against wrongful convictions. So, I was knocked out of financial assistance there. But, it was a driving force behind what I do now because I had to start my life from scratch.  I had to use the gifts that I had been given to build a life for myself, and turn my, pain into power.  I didn't have anything. I came back to nothing, but God worked it out for my good.

Going through the tunnel of adversity

Myrna: Well, they say that a lot of times, we must go through the tunnel, we must be beaten down all the way to the bottom, before we find our, purpose.  We all go screaming into it because we really don't want to go through pain, we don’t want to hit rock bottom. I'm in this space where I interview a lot of people and I remember talking to this woman.  Her husband died and she started her coaching practice helping other women handle, grief. She turned her, pain into power, but we all prefer not to go through the pain even if it is the fire starter to our, life purpose.

So how did you manage after also being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and having most of your colon removed?

Abigail: I wasn't raised in a Christian household, but I had a lot of Christian friends. If there's one thing that I learned from them, even while I wasn't a believer, was that they had this ability to see past their circumstances. So, before I even arrived in America, they were already speaking life into my situation. They were already telling me that this was going to work out for my good, something good is gonna come out of this.

And it wasn't until, I became a Christian and I began to read the Bible and I began to apply those principles, that I was strengthened in that area. God gave me a perspective that enabled me to see things through his eyes, he gave me the ability to step outside of myself. I was surrounded by people who are who were suffering, who have been through women the worst heinous things.  My whole perception changed.

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Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

Helping people in prison turn their pain into power

Not only are people dying from much worse situations than I had, but I had to reframe my situation to say, okay, I'm in, prison, now, what can I do while I'm here to make an impact on the lives of the women that I am housed with? How do I turn my, pain into power?

I had a writing gift and there are women that couldn't read or write. I remember the very first time I tapped into that.  There was a woman that I was, bunking in, prison, she had a terrible situation, her children have been taken into DCF custody because of her arrest.

So, I wrote a letter for her. explaining the situation to DCF, speaking in legal terminology. She wanted her children to be put into the custody of her sister while she was in, prison, and lo and behold, that's exactly what happened. Two weeks later, she came to me, I mean, she was in floods of tears. She was so grateful that I took the time to do this for her, and it was at that moment that I realized that what my, purpose, is connected to my gift of writing. Writing was how I was going to turn my, pain into power.

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TuneIn Radio

Figuring out my life purpose

I also realized that my, purpose, had nothing to do with me, it was to enrich the lives of the people that I am surrounded by. So, from that moment, my prayers changed from Lord get me out of here, I can't take this anymore to Lord who are the people in, prison, that you want me to impact?  That started a tsunami of work. My inmates just started coming to get the help they needed.  I started helping them write letters, probation letters, letters to their family, etc. It was one of the most, fulfilling aspects of my time in, prison.

Myrna: Now, how did you take own ownership of your situation? What was your internal dialogue?

Abigail: I dropped the, victim mentality. You know, it's so easy when you're going through a situation whatever it is, it's so easy to point the finger and say is your fault that I'm here, but when you play the, victim, you are not helping anybody. You're not helping yourself and you're not helping anyone else. When I was in the, victim, state I felt so sorry for myself. You know, such an injustice had taken place.

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iHeart Radio

Victims have no power

I was depressed, I was in a place of desolation, I couldn't sleep at night, I had no peace. But the moment I relinquished that, victim mentality, I came to the revelation that it wasn't the state of Florida that put me in, prison, to punish me. I was placed there strategically to be empowered, and then to empower. I was placed there to turn my, pain into power.

So once my, mindset, changed, I was able to say I am going to use this situation to become the best person that I be and to help as many people as I can while I'm in here. That is exactly how I took ownership of my situation. I took the power out the hands in the state of Florida, and turned, my pain into power, because, victims, have no power.

Myrna: This is so true. Victims have no power. In my book, Out of the Snares, A story of Hope and Encouragement, I have a full chapter on, victims.  My story was that I was abused as a child, but I never became a, victim. In fact, what I suggest we become a, player. You know, when you are playing a game of blackjack and the cards that you're dealt with are bad cards?  People use those same bad cards to win, in the same way when you become a, player instead of becoming a, victim, you play with the cards you are dealt.  And that's exactly what you did, you became a, player in the game, you decided that these are the cards that I've been handed, and I am going to make the best of the situation. I am going to turn this, pain into power.

How to become a player and turn pain into power

Myrna: You could have played the “what if game”. What if I didn't go out? What if I didn't agree to drive?  But instead you said it happened. There's no way you can go backwards, all you can do is make the best of the situation that you have right now and use it to help people and learn from it and turn your, pain into power.

What is the lesson that that that you took out of that? Were you able to equate it to a, Bible story? I want to talk about Joseph who was thrown in, prison, and it was strategic to God’s plan for him.  And I am also thinking of a Job which is the chapter reading now in the Bible and all the bad things that happened to him.

Job declared God does only do good things for you. God does good things, and he does bad things.

Abigail: Joseph was one of my favorite stories in the Bible. And it wasn't until I got to that Genesis chapter 37, where Joseph was put in, prison, that I found strength in my situation. Prison, shaped Joseph into the man that God needed him to be. I knew that my time in, prison, was in God's hands, just based on that story alone. I learned a lot from Joseph and his, mindset, during that time. He refused to be a, victim, he used his time to assist other people. He was looking for others to help while he was, incarcerated, and it opened the door to his freedom.

Myrna: Yes, exactly helping people got him introduced to the king.

Transform your mind PTWWN TV
PTWWN TV – How to Trun Your pain into power 

Using dreams and visions for your purpose

Abigail: That was a very powerful story for me, and I used that, bible story, to empower myself.  So my God has given me dreams and visions, and I knew that, okay, I'm not living the dream and the vision now, but it is this situation here that is going to lead me to the destiny that God has for me and I had to remind myself of that daily.

Myrna: That's amazing, I am loving our conversation.  One of my personal mantras is that just like an airplane needs resistance to take off the ground, we need resistance to move up our next level. And whenever I have resistance in my life, when I was working full time when I received resistance eg. one door closed or something, I always knew that resistance was supposed to push me forward and up. The door closing from being fired got me into, Life coaching, helping women to, transform their mind.

A lot of women, especially minority women live in the, wilderness, and in order for them to get out of the, wilderness, they have to change their, mindset.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

She is Risen from Destitute to Destiny

Tell us about your book, your book is called “She Is Risen from Destitute To Destiny.” Why did you write it? And what do you want people to walk away with?

Abigail: I wrote the book because I knew that I had a story to tell number one, and it wasn't a story of the tragedies, but stories of, empowerment. The book a memoir, going back to my childhood, I packed a lot of things and I think that's very important that you need to go back to, to know why things are the way they were. So, I went through that process in the book, I had a very turbulent teenage years, connected to childhood. But despite those challenges, I still managed to make something all my life, and it didn't come easily, or immediately at all.

It was a very, very difficult situation and a very, very difficult process. And I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but what I do know is that you can, turn your pain into power, if you change your perspective on a situation.  I could have not written this book. I could have so easily come out of, prison, and just felt sorry for myself, and accept government assistance and nobody would have blamed me

Teaching others how to overcome adversity

So, I had to look at the situation and ask myself what have I learned from this? And not only what have I learnt from it, but now what can I do about it? I decided I can teach other people about how to overcome, adversity.  One of the things that helped me while I was, incarcerated, were the different, prison ministries. People would share these terrible stories, but they got through it, and that’s something that inspired me.

Myrna: Well, that's the reason I asked you if you're going into the, prison, and doing, prison ministry, because I know your story is powerful. Now you are on the radio, podcast and PTWWN TV, sharing your story, not only the people that are in, prison, is going to hear this, but people all over the world. Your story doesn’t just speak to someone in, prison, but speaks to any women in the, wilderness, the, wilderness, can be any dry place.

Additional Resources

Does Serving a Prison Sentence Affect Change?

 

 

A New Mindset: Get Rid Of Your Cup Mentality 

Coach Myrna Cup Mentality

Do you have a, cup mentality, mindset? Are you asking God to fill up your cup instead of asking him to fill up as many containers you can find? In the, Bible story, Elisha the prophet told the widow woman to borrow containers and keep pouring oil until they were all filled. Find out how to get rid of your, cup mentality, and your, abundance blocks, and live an abundant life.

 Welcome to this week’s episode of, 5 mins with coach Myrna.  In this coaching session, I want to teach on, mindset, getting rid of your, cup mentality.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9970925-a-new-mindset-get-rid-of-your-cup-mentality.mp3?download=true

What is a cup mentality?

Here is a bible story to illustrate.

One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon. Now a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God.

Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

 Cup mentality vs abundance mindset 

This story illustrates a, cup mentality, because too many of us are content with our lot in life and never aspire or dream of a better life. This crippled man was stuck in his old routine of getting someone to take him to the gate of the temple every day to beg for coins. He never dreamed of more, he never prayed to be healed even though he went to the temple every day.  He accepted that he was crippled and for the rest of his life he would beg for coins to survive. This is the definition of a, cup mentality. Your dreams can only fill up a cup.

 The crippled man could not understand when Peter told him to get up and walk.  He had never thought of walking. Peter was putting new information in this man’s, old wineskin.  Peter had to hold his hand and help him up.

A, cup mentality, is when we accept our circumstances and never dream of having more. You get stuck in a rut in your negative routines not expecting anything to change, but as long as you have a, cup mentality, you will never receive the abundance of God.

Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

Like mother like daughter

For example please use the phrase, like mother like daughter, or like, father like son. They are expecting you to be like your mother and because they spoke it over your life, you become like your mother.

I heard a story of a mother who left her baby with her parents, because she was a hitwoman and she believed that if she got arrested she would be sent away for life.  When the child was 3 years old, the mother was sent away for life. The grandparents raised the child and always told her don’t be like your mother. She grew up with that, cup mentality, that she could never expect anything great, because she would probably end up in prison.  At 16 years she stabbed someone and ended up in prison.

Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Were you born the wrong color?

Some other examples of a, cup mentality.

  • Do you think you were born in the wrong country?
  • The wrong side of the tracks,
  • or the wrong color?
  • Are you content just surviving?

The Bible teaches that You can’t put, new wine, in, old wineskin, because the, new wine, will burst the, old wineskin. This means you can’t do new things like be the first one in your family to graduate college with the same old, mindset.

I was born poor in a third world country. I was listening to podcast a few weeks back regarding, abundance blocks. The author was saying that we manifest the same, abundance blocks, as our parents, so I decided to interview my mom to see if she passed on her, abundance blocks, to me. What I found is my mom has a, cup mentality.

She told me that we were poor when I was born, she didn’t have a job, but she was quite comfortable. My dad would give her money, people would bring her food from the market, and she had her mother to help her. She never asked for more, she never dreamed big. Luckily, I did not get her, cup mentality.  I have always dreamed of success even as a child as young as 10 years old!

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

If doesn't matter where your start out only where you end up

God took David from a low-income family and made him a King. It does not matter where you start out only where you end up.

A, limited mindset, will keep you from getting more from God.

God promises to pour out blessings you won’t have room enough to receive; he is not looking just to fill up your cup.

Don’t water down your dreams to match your environment.

Take the limits off of God and the limits off your life.

You are the lid!

The prophet Elisha told the Widow woman to borrow a few containers and to pour the little oil she had into these containers. She obeyed even though it was not logical. She started pouring and the oil continued to pour until she had filled up all the containers she borrowed and then it stopped. If she had more containers, the oil would have continued to pour, so she did not have a supply problem, but a capacity problem.

God wants to fill up your containers, he can’t fill up what you never bring to him. How do you bring your containers to God? You bring them to him by asking for what you want in prayer, by dreaming big and visualizing your dreams.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

 The cup mentality is your capacity

In a previous episode called Finding joy in your nothingness. I talked about the oil, that it represented the joy in your life. Today I am talking about your capacity to experience that joy. Are you looking for a cup full of joy like my mom or as many containers you can fill?

God said open your mouth wide and I will fill it.

Get rid of your, cup mentality, and give God as many containers as possible so he can fill them up.

This is coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to, 5 mins with coach Myrna.  I would like to invite you all to join my Life coach group on Facebook for daily inspiration from dozens of life coaches.

Thanks for listening, until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

 

How To Use Storytelling To Build Your Brand

Storytelling in Business

I had this insight to bring, storytelling, that I did in the entertainment business, to champion people and make them better at building their brand and own their voice.

Today I interview Audrey Cavenecia, the Co-producer and co-host for the Amplify Voices podcast, alongside NFL coach Pete Carroll and host of the “Unlikely podcast” on leadership. A talented, storyteller, and visionary Audrey has decades of experience in, leadership development, entertainment production, and content marketing with a focus on championing humanity in all people.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9928032-how-to-free-yourself-from-the-imposter-syndrome.mp3?download=true

Bio

Audrey Cavenecia is the Co-producer and co-host for the Amplify Voices podcast, alongside NFL coach Pete Carroll and host of the “Unlikely podcast” on leadership. A talented storyteller and visionary Audrey has decades of experience in leadership development, entertainment production, and content marketing with a focus on championing humanity in all people.

She has worked alongside some of the most influential leaders in the world—including speaker and author Tony Robbins and Oracle founder Larry Ellison—to develop and empower new visionaries through stories and insights around authentic human connection. No matter the sector, she continues to build bridges between what is and what can be, with, storytelling, as the scaffolding.

Audrey's back story

Myrna: I know you are an expert, storyteller, what’s your story?

Audrey: Well, you know, it’s interesting because I grew up, I was born in Oakland, California and grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. My parents were pretty much the extreme polar opposites in every sense of the word, my mother is white. And when I say white, I mean white, like blond hair, blue eyes, can't even tan, white from Germany.

She came here to the US when she was about 12. My father is African Latin from South America. He had dark skin, kinky hair, all the features as a black man. So, think of this mixture of German culture and African Latin culture and your get total polar opposites in so many ways.  They meet in church and five children later; we each have a roll of the dice of that race of that mixture of all of that.

So, I think we started out, especially for myself, started out very early, being forced almost to be an observer of society. Because I didn't have my, my tribe. I couldn't point at somebody and be like, oh, you're exactly like me. I couldn't find the Mexican culture and fit in with them. Every single person was like, No, you're a little bit different. You're a little bit on the outside, and maybe it wasn't even them maybe it was just me.

And my own perception of where do I fit when I come from these two narratives that are so different. And then I live inside of my own Americanization while still being pulled into both of their cultures, different languages in the household and all that.

Most of those movies we watched were white people. My dad comes to the United States and marries a white woman.  So, it's another layer for me to look at and be like, Oh, what am I not beautiful? Because my father didn't even marry somebody who looked like me. What does that say about me? My parents owned their own business, like a lot of people that come from other countries. And so my first foray into just self-expression was, storytelling, and finding myself in the theater, because I thought, in that place, I can pretend with, storytelling, because I have no home, I have no tribe, and I can be anything.

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iHeart Radio
Introduction to leadership development

Myrna: I am sure you had problems there as well, not being black enough for certain roles, and not white enough for others.

Audrey: That's right. And but I did have some extraordinary experiences. I toured with the work inside of the African Repertory Theater, and Berkeley toured with plays with individuals was on the Wayans brothers show. So, I had a great time being inside of, storytelling, and that was my lead into, leadership.

So, I went to the, leadership development, in my 20s, I went to the, leadership development, course and there was something about it, it had the beauty of theatrics of being onstage.  It had that spiritual kind of nature of going to church and that physiological kind of feeling that you have in your chest and in your heart when everything opens up that is where, storytelling, is born. I fell in love with, storytelling, as a, leadership development, tool.

I threw myself into it. I dedicated all my time to, leadership. I was single mom at that time as well. And so, I rose through the ranks, I became a really successful leader in that regard and then one woman said something to me.  She said, Okay, great, so what?  You can be a superstar, but can you create other superstars?

I thought to myself, why isn't the whole point of competition to be the best, why would I want to develop people to be better than me?  But it really stirred something in my heart and in my soul. It spoke to something that was way down deep there which was being a champion for humanity.

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Storytelling in leadership

Audrey: And now I threw myself into understanding the art of, storytelling, in, training and development. I wanted to do everything possible to help people that have failed.  The people that no one can turn around, the people that have given everything and couldn't find themselves. I trained the shy people introverts the art of, storytelling.

I want to pull all of them up and make them the best, storytellers, in front of crowds. I want to make them the best public speakers. I did just that and that's when people like Tony Robbins and all those others in the, leadership development, space started searching me out and having me work with their, intellectual property.

And then I had this insight and I listened to my heart and my mind, and it said, now bring those two things together, bring, storytelling, that you did in the entertainment business, and bring this, storytelling techniques, to champion people and make them better at their own purpose and voice. Bring them together. Storytelling, and leadership development, is something unique. I opened my own agency, and it took off from there.

I've worked with some of the biggest names out there, I not only champion them and rise them up and help curate and formulate their voice and their audience, all of that, but I combine, storytelling, with their actual content. So now I'm in publishing. I have this media company with Pete Carroll, and we're pulling in people right and left.  Our company it's called “Amplify Voices” for a reason. We're going into the margins of, leadership, with, storytelling. We need to expand what, leadership, is.

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Warm socks: Life Lessons from my father is a captivating memoir you would want to give to anyone you care about. It's a book about a father who didn't give his daughter the materials things she wanted, but he gave her the most important gifts of all – powerful lessons to have a successful, fulfilled, and happy life. It's a page turner. You won’t want to put the book down.

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What does leadership look like
  • what does it looks like,
  • what size it is,
  • what color it is,
  • what its hair looks like,
  • what his nose looks like,
  • what his what his voice sounds like,
  • where it lives,
  • what it does,
  • its temperament,
  • its emotions, all of that.

We need this more expansive view of, leadership, because there's so much to accomplish in this world.

Myrna: Beautiful, wow. So beautiful. I love how you found your voice through, storytelling,  and entertaining in theater and, and now you're helping people to tell their story through, storytelling.  I love what your definition of what a leader looks like, smells like, tastes like etc.

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Amplifying voices of the Black community

Audrey: For Amplify Voices, the voices we're focusing now are on podcasts, podcasting. So, I'm on finding particular people out there that have a voice.  We're looking for voices that are timely, that are important. Like for instance, Reza Metacam, is a writer of grandmother's hands African American male, who specializes in, body trauma.

We're asking people to be together;

  • Leaders are asking people to work on their divisiveness,
  • Some are asking people to work in their business environment,
  • Everyone is asking them to be great parents, but we have not confronted the trauma that lives in their bodies, especially black bodies. Black bodies are not the only ones who've experienced trauma, white bodies have trauma as well.  Before black people were enslaved, they were enslaving white people, it's in our history.

And so, our bodies have this pain, this fear of one another.  You look in the world right now we feel resonance, such an important voice. So, what we do is we find people that that are out there speaking when they have a book or they're a public speaker, or they're doing workshops with businesses, or a community leader or something.  I approached them, I have dialogue with them and if I feel there's a real sense of synergy, there is collaboration.

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At Amplified Voices, we take them over and start developing their content.  We become a support for them, not only in the production process and the postproduction process, but also helping them in shaping their brand through, storytelling, and marketing. We take them through those ranks and then when they get to a certain point, get them right in front of the right people for their book deal, or television show or whatever else becomes the natural progression. There'll also be projects that they'll do independently on their own by nature of this collaboration and some things we'll do together.

Developing authentic human connections

Myrna: Awesome, this is how can we empower, leaders, basic, human connections. We talked a little bit about, storytelling, and what, leadership, looks like.  What is an, authentic human connection? I know that, human connection, is connecting with someone, But I think you probably have a broader definition of it.

Audrey: Actually, I've got a simpler definition for, authentic human connection. It's not actually quite broad. It has depth, but it's quite simple. The very myopic interpretation and narrative we've had around, leadership, and, authentic human connections, is this “sharing yourself.” If you share yourself that is where the magic happens.  Just think of the last three days of your work lives, maybe even your relationships, maybe even with your children. Are there moments where you wanted to say something, and you didn't?  Where you felt like you wanted to reveal something, and you didn't?

Did you want to ask for help or support and you didn’t?  You didn't because of your pride, or shame, or because of the way you were raised.  We do not have the freedom to express ourselves.  As, leaders, we can't tell people “I don't know how to meet payroll at the end of the week”  Leaders, can't tell people “I have an eating disorder, I may be drinking too much because of the stress and the pressure” But it truly is accurate statement to say “bitch this will set you free” Getting rid of the, imposter syndrome, and establishing, authentic human connections,  won't just set you free, It will actually allow people to grow inside your, leadership.  It is the greatest possible thing that you can do.

Myrna: One of the things that people love about Gary Vaynerchuck is that he's very transparent. He made, Storytelling, and, transparency, necessary for all leaders. Transparency is one of the ways to develop, authentic human connections, because you are sharing yourself and letting others see your pain.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index
How does Diversity and Inclusion affect Leadership

Audrey: Harvard has done studies behind, diversity and inclusion, this is not a moral compass conversation. This is an economic conversation because we are talking about business.  I know everybody gets like, yeah, we know we need, more Black people.  I'm not talking about a moral compass. What I'm saying is, look, in the world, there are 6.5 billion people, do you think all those people only like white things? They think all those people only want to hear from aggressive, outspoken, black people. Diversity, makes economic sense.

Well, here's the thing. It's the pretend part. That's so damaging. Because you can't pretend, unless I'm hiring you to be an actor and film. There's really nothing beneficial about pretending. Pretending doesn't get you to the other side. Pretending doesn't get you help from the team, pretending doesn't give you an opportunity to experience failure and learn from it.

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Conclusion

Myrna: How can people connect with you on social media and listen to your podcasts?

Audrey:  Okay, well it's very easy to find us at www.amplifyvoices.io. You'll find everything there. Find me all our podcasts on our website and our social media handles. We just won a prestigious award so we're very happy that people have received it so well.

Additional Resources

How to Develop Emotional Resilience At Work

 

 

 

The Wolf That Wins Is The One You Feed

Which, wolf, are you feeding? The one that wins is the one you feed.  The one you choose to feed will define who you are.  We all know we should feed the, good wolf, even if it’s harder. Feeding the, good wolf, is how we end up feeling a sense of accomplishment and success at the end of the day.

In this week’s episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to teach on the topic, Which Wolf are you feeding?

Download the Podcast Here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9928057-the-wolf-that-wins-is-the-one-you-feed.mp3?download=true

Let me share with you an ancient story: Which Wolf Are You feeding?

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” The one you feed.

This story depicts the battle for your mind.

There is a war going on in your mind

Every choice we make is a battle between the two wolves in our head.

These two wolves are competing for supremacy. The one who wins is the one you feed.

How do we feed these wolves?

  • We feed them by what we read,
  • What we focus our time and attention on
  • Who we spend time with.
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Transform Your Mind Podcastland

Feeding the patient wolf

Think of a dripping faucet. Most of us don’t have the patience to wait for the drips to fill our cup. We want to turn on the tap at full blast and have our cup full up in seconds, but our goals are like the dripping faucet, we make small steps towards them and we must have the staying power to watch the drips fill the cup.

This also builds mental toughness because of delayed gratification.

If you don’t conquer the mind, it becomes your enemy. If you feed the, evil wolf, then you make the mind your enemy.

The definition of an enemy is one who is opposed or hostile to something or a thing that weakens or harms you.

Feeding your anger, fear, greed ego, envy, insecurities and jealousy with negative thoughts and emotions harms and weakens you. The negative emotions  gets stronger while the positive qualities gets weaker and weaker.

Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

How to feed the good wolf

Start feeding the, good wolf, that represents love, compassion, humility, patience, peace and harmony. You conquer the mind by staying the course, by watching the faucet drip and having faith that the cup will eventually fill up.

Another way to conquer the mind  is by talking back to it out loud.

For example.. If the voice  in your head is telling you that you always quit and that you will never get your degree reply out loud “just watch me. I will finish this class no Devil in hell is going to prevent me from getting my degree. Get behind me Satan.”

Do not feed the one  that presents fear and insecurity, remember that fear is false evidence appearing real.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

The courage wolf

The best way to feed the, good wolf, is to program the conscious mind. This builds the, courage wolf.

One of the ways to do this is start talking back to the negative self-talk with positive affirmations.

If the, inferiority wolf, tells you that you no man will love you because you are not educated, talk back to it with your voice and say “I will find happiness and love because I am love, I have a lot to offer a man, I don’t need an education, any man would be blessed to have me. The next man who comes my way will be exactly what I prayed for.  He will be kind and generous and love me like I deserve to be loved.”  That is how you feed to,  faith wolf!

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Feeding the evil wolf

One truth to remember is that it’s so much easier to feed the bad wolf.  The, evil wolf, is is easy to get angry,  complain, feel resentful, dismiss or ignore others, and feel superior.

There is almost no effort required to do those things, and you’re getting the reward with the sensation of relieving and instant gratification without much an action.

The, good wolf, is very different; it’s picky, it’s harder to feed. It’s challenging, tiring and time-consuming to do things like learning, teaching, inspiring, sharing or simply sticking to a new behavior. These things take so much energy, effort, momentum, and guts. And you don’t usually see immediate results from them.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna I hope you were encouraged today and that you stay in joy peace and harmony so the, evil wolf, would never get you.

Additional Resources

Finding Joy In Your Nothingness

 

The Emotional Trials and Triumphs of Cancer

Triumphs of Cancer

The fear of, cancer, can be just as powerful as actual, cancer, right? And not all, cancers, in fact  most, cancers, are not a death sentence. So, what I wanted to do was to explain in my book is that we don't really know what people are going through.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9901987-the-emotional-trials-and-triumphs-of-cancer.mp3?download=true

 

Today I interview  David Richman who is a motivational speaker, personal consultant, and author of CYCLE OF LIVES and WINNING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK.

Cycle of Lives shares 15 REAL STORIES OF TRIALS AND TRIUMPH WITH VICTORY AND DEFEAT: Many books only share one perspective; however, David’s book provides cancer stories told from 15 different perspectives, allowing readers to examine a wide range of experiences, events, emotions, backgrounds, and viewpoints. This array of human experiences will help readers to grow in empathy and better understand how issues like suicide, abandonment, loss, survivor guilt, abuse, fertility, and more, affect the way people deal with the traumas that shape their lives, cancer, or otherwise.

How has your life been impacted personally by cancer?

David: What brought me to this project was, my sister was diagnosed with, terminal brain cancer,  in 2004. So, she was right around 40, married with two young kids, great profession, life going great for her. Then all of a sudden, she was diagnosed with, terminal brain cancer, and all that was going to be taken away. To me that was profound on a lot of different levels.  Because not only was she gonna face the reality that she was going to die soon. Some people get a terminal diagnosis, but survive, but my sister had no hope.

She had kind of come to terms with the fact that there was a lot of different aspects of it that she had to deal with. And I think that's kind of true with anybody that might have that type of an issue, where you're forced to face your own mortality. And with, cancer, especially, you're kind of given sometimes time to get your house in order, right? A lot of a lot of people die on the spot, they don’t get tine to put their house in order.

Myrna: So, let me ask you, I know I'm jumping ahead of myself, but it seems like a good point to ask the question. Do you think that from the people that you've spoken to you, do they appreciate getting this time?  If somebody asks, how much time I got, and I said five months? Do they appreciate that time and knowing they have 5 months to live? Or they prefer not to know?

Do people appreciate knowing of their mortality

David: That’s a great question. I think it's probably super personal. That’s the whole reason that I wrote the book, if you are going through, trauma, or know somebody who is going through, trauma, whether it's terminal or not, but it's related to, cancer, you know, some other major trauma,  if you do have the opportunity to form deeper connections with these people, do so.

The problem is, is that we often self-isolate, and or we abandon people not willingly, but we just, we don't want to say we don't know what to do. We don't want to make people feel guilty. We don't want to say the wrong thing or bring people down or whatever. And so, a lot of times, people do not use this time constructively.

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Warm socks: Life Lessons from my father is a captivating memoir you would want to give to anyone you care about. It's a book about a father who didn't give his daughter the materials things she wanted, but he gave her the most important gifts of all – powerful lessons to have a successful, fulfilled, and happy life. It's a page turner. You won’t want to put the book down.

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Myrna: How did you deal with your sister’s diagnosis? And how did you help her?

David: Great question. So, what we did was, throughout our adult lives, we were close, sometimes not close, because life just gets in the way, right. Like we she had her family and kids and friends and work and you know, just like gets in the way. After the, cancer diagnosis, though, I think we probably talked way more regularly and purposefully.

I had a friend recently who lost one of his best friends, and he said that they couldn't count the number of, cancer nodes,  on his lungs, because there was too many, so he died really quickly after his, cancer diagnosis. And my friend said, that was probably the best way, why put him through all that pain?

Sometimes the reality is there, I felt like with my sister, even though she fought for three or four years, I mean, there wasn't an option for her to survive, because she had a massive tumor and it spread. What happened was that anytime that I reached out, she was available. We didn't always talk about heavy stuff. But knowing that there was a finish line, fast approaching, I think that we, with intentionality really tried to try to bond as deeply as we could.

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Transform Your Mind Podnews
Transform Your Mind Podnews

A terminal diagnosis of cancer

Myrna: Now, a lot of people who are given that diagnosis would say I'm gonna make peace because they tell you to put your house in order and make sure you tell everyone you love them. And maybe you should do the things that you have always wanted to do. You think that people do that, like their, bucket lists? Do they do that?

David: I think that's a rarity. Because you know, we live in denial. And one of the people I spoke to was a doctor, an oncologist at NYU. She told me that no one accepts that they are going to die from, cancer. They always have hope, so very few people put their house in order or do things on their, bucket list. One of the things she told me that really made a lot of sense was, the human brain is not wired to be able to really contemplate in an understanding way our own mortality, it just doesn't just doesn't happen.

I think that kind of explains why we don't ever want to put our house in order and we don't ever want to do those, bucket list, kinds of things. Because we just don't think we're going to die. So the vast majority of people that I spoke to, they did have a fair amount of denial, either from them or the people that they loved. They put off taking care of things. They were abandoned by people that loved them, they self-isolated and didn't close loops that they probably should have closed.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Cancer patients live in hope

Myrna: So true, that is why suicide is so against the norm, because most of us are wired to preserve our life, and we will go to great lengths to stay alive, even when the quality of our lives is taken away, we want to live. So that is a very distinct, very good information to put out to someone who is reading this, that is either going through, trauma, or they know someone who has been given a terminal diagnosis of, cancer. Make sure that you tell your loved ones that you love them and put your house in order.

David: My book is not all about death and dying from, cancer, because, cancer,  does not always mean death. Even the fear of, cancer, can be unbelievably traumatic for some people, right? Imagine if you received a diagnosis, it was early diagnosis, like a stage one, cancer, or something, and very treatable. But now you got to live the rest of your life thinking in the back of your head, oh, my gosh,

  • Am I allowed to go out in the sun?
  • Should I eat a certain food?
  • Do I need to exercise more?
  • Is this, cancer, going to come back and take me?
  • Do I not have kids because I don't want to lose them in case my, cancer, is fatal.
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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Living in fear of cancer

I mean, the, fear of cancer, can be just as powerful as actual, cancer, right? And not all, cancers, in fact  most, cancers, are not a death sentence. So what I wanted to do was to explain in my book is  what are people going through that we might not know? Or what, traumas, have affected them so that they're not able to navigate this kind of traumatic diagnosis of, cancer.  Because we don't really know what people are going through.

Myrna: Yea death and taxes are the only thing that are guaranteed. And yet, we don't want to we don't want either of them.

One of the things you said, though, is that, went and you interviewed, these 15 cancer survivors even though each one of their stories were different, you found something that was consistent that linked all these stories.  What is the link?

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What every cancer patient fears

David: Sure, so there were two things that was consistent. And just to add one more thing to what you just said is it also is not just people that had gone through, cancer, that I spoke to, but also caregivers, doctors. I spoke to people that never had, cancer, themselves, but their lives were centered around, cancer, as a caregiver, or maybe they were with a loved one who went through, cancer.

So, I wanted all those different perspectives, because I think that it's not the same. If your spouse is diagnosed with, cancer, there still is an unbelievably deep and traumatic set of emotions that go through you, as well, right? You're not even the one with, cancer, but imagine what you must go through watching your spouse go through, cancer.

But the two things that I found that were quite consistent with every person I spoke to whether they made the book, or they didn't this is one:

  • No matter how crazy people lives are, nobody thinks their life is that interesting. They're just living their life
  • Two they feared asking for help. The theme that we've been talking about, which is almost everybody not everybody, had a big identification with the thought of, I don't know if I'm equipped to form really deep connections with the people around me about what I'm going through.
  • They are dealing with the tasks like how do I get to my appointment? How do I get my kids watched while I'm in the chemo chair? How do I navigate time off work? How do I eat healthier?  They don’t want to be a burden, so they have a hard time asking for help. And that was very, very consistent with almost every single person I spoke to.

Myrna: Do you think it's because people don't really like to ask for help?

David: That's definitely a. Yeah,

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Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Patricia’s story: I don’t get colds, I get cancer

There was one story about this woman her name is Patricia and she made the statement I don’t get colds, I get, cancer.  From that statement, I delve into her, mindset, and I am assuming that she's had a hard life because she made the comment that I don't get colds, I get cancer, which tells me that, cancer, kept coming back. But, one of the reasons that I want to I want to I want to touch on it, is because I also know when we make statements like this one, then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, what can you share about Patricia’s story?

David: Wow, that's a great insight. So, her story is really fascinating. And one of the things that was hilarious was like the second conversation I had with her she tells me, “My life's not that interesting.” So,  let me try to explain her story. Her story is pretty fascinating, because I thought it was about the fact that she had, beat cancer, five different times over a 35-year period. But that's not what her story is about. Near the end of her talking to me, I asked Patricia, I go, Hey, What's your secret? Like how did you, beat cancer, 5 times?

And she said to me, well, ever since I moved on from x, and I'll give you point x in a second. She said, every time that I moved on from point x, all I did was I just said to myself,

Every single day, you have to put your feet on the ground, get up out of bed, and go about your day.

Transform Your Mind PTWWNTV
Transform Your Mind PTWWNTV

Now sometimes David, I was able to make my bed and walk away. Other times, I make my bed and lay right back into it. But I wanted to get up and put my feet on the ground and make my bed and go about my day. Oh, wow. Now not knowing her story. If you told me life was get your feet on the ground and make your bed and go about your day, I'd roll my eyes go on, whatever, you know, good for you.

But her story is this so when she's a teenager she was in a relationship and that the relationship was exceptionally abusive. To the point where she has is forced to cut ties with every person that she knows, including her family friends, not allowed to go out anywhere on her own. He beats her up if he just thinks that she's having a bad thought. I mean, it's horrible. Okay, so after four years she learns how to escape by getting another identity and she escapes that abusive relationship.

Shortly after she escapes, she gets diagnosed with, cancer, for the first time. Over a 35-year period she gets diagnosed with, cancer, five different times and five different types of, cancer, very serious. Her story is while beating the first, cancer, she met some someone and he becomes the only person that she had ever met that she could trust and that she could love and felt would love her no matter what.

This man helped her recover from that abusive situation she had escaped from. And he was beside her for her whole life, during which time she was fighting all these different, cancers,  and living her life. This love sustained her through battling her cancers, caring for her dad who died of, cancer.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Everyone has their time in the barrel

She looked at herself one day in the mirror, and she said, hey, don't walk around, like all burden. Don't walk around all emotional.

Everybody has their time in the barrel. All you do is just keep getting up, keep putting your foot on the ground, make your bed and go about your day.

And I'm just like, holy cow. She’s had been through all of that and the only solution to her was, everybody's got a tough life. Everybody has it bad, you could be burdened by it. Or you could not just get your feet on the ground, make your bed and go about your day. I'm like, That's brilliant. Right. And so, so that's, that's Patricia's story. So, I mean, there's more way more to her story you have to read the book.

Myrna: Well, you surprised me with that answer. But I get it. When I looked at that statement. I don't get colds, I get cancer. I thought that was a, defeated mindset. You know, saying I'm always sick. And then you become always sick, like self-fulfilling prophecy. But instead, she's looking at, cancer, almost like a cold, something that you get through. You get, and you just go on with your life!

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Never sick a day in my life except cancer

David: And you know, one of the first things she said to me, she goes, I never been sick a day in my life. I never had a cold; I never had the flu. I have never been sick except for, cancer, and all the other stuff that came with it, I literally have never been sick a day in my life. And she goes, if somebody wrote a story about me, it would be titled, I don't get colds, I get cancer!

Myrna: What do you want the reader to walk away with after reading your, cancer stories?

David:  Well, first of all, what I want them to know is that each one of the book participants, doctor, patient, loved one, whatever survivor, they chose a, cancer focused charity, or other charity that they wanted the proceeds of the book to go to, so 100% of the proceeds of the book, no matter where it's sold, or how it sold, it gets divided up between the organizations that they chose. So that's number one. What I want the reader to know is they'll be doing some good financially, there's not a lot of money in books, but 100% of it will go to support their organizations.

But I think what more you know, like that saying, we talked about it earlier, like you never know what people are going through. That’s what I want readers to walk away with. We really have no idea what people are going through.  For example, Patricia finished a master's in art. She's an amazing artist and when you were sitting next to her in art class and admiring her work, and she's admiring yours, you would have no idea what she had gone through.

Book Cycle of Lives: Cancer stories
Book Cycle of Lives: Cancer stories

Conclusion

Myrna: How can readers get their hands on your book? How can they connect with you on social media?

David: Yes, the book is available wherever books are sold. So, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, your local bookstore. Up until a week ago, I couldn't have said this. But now the audible is out. So, it's, it's available as a book, as an e book or as an audio book. In fact, we had 15 different actors each read one of the different stories, so it's very entertaining, and very inspirational and it's not very heavy. There's a lot of inspiration that can come from these stories.

They can connect with me on Facebook or Instagram @cycleoflives or @David Richman or go to my website www.David-Richman.com  And they can learn about the institutions that we're supporting, and all the other things that are going on around this whole cycle of life's project.

Additional Resources

Nothing is Impossible: How to Turn Life's Challenges Into Opportunity

 

How To Be Happy: The Happiness Recipe

The, happiness recipe, is super simple. Do more of what matters to you, and less of the rest.

Simple, though obviously doesn't mean easy. There's a lot that goes into that very short phrase and into the execution of that very short phrase.   Becky Morrison is a mom, wife and lawyer turned, Happiness Coach has identified what she thinks are the three areas that stop us from executing on this, happiness recipe.

Download the podcast Here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9860644-how-to-be-happy-the-happiness-recipe.mp3?download=true

Bio

Becky Morrison is a mom, wife and lawyer turned, Happiness Coach. Her mission is to spread joy. She believes most people can live happier, easier lives if they get clear on what matters most to them and then develop a plan to do more of that and less of the rest. She wants to enable people to find clarity and happiness, so everyone wins.

Now she’s using her experience coupled with her own journey to help people supercharge their success and happiness by: finding clarity; taking the next steps in their career; overcoming overwhelm; going from idea to action; and, stepping into their authentic leadership presence.

Becky brings together all her learnings in her recently published book ‘The Happiness Recipe: A Powerful Guide to Living What Matters’.

Book The Happiness Recipe
Book The Happiness Recipe

From Lawyer to Happiness Coach

Myrna: Your story of coming from corporate lawyer to, happiness coach, reminds me of the first book I read in my quest for enlightenment and, personal growth. And that is the book called from Robin Sharma that's called “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.”

So, for those who didn't know Robin Sharma, the character in the book is a corporate lawyer who had a heart attack. And then he went to live with amongst the monks in the Himalayan mountains and he changed his life.  So, how did it happen for you?

Becky: Well, I mean, it was not quite that glamorous or fun for me, but it is a story of evolution and, transformation. And it starts with me doing what a lot of us do, which is doing all the things I thought I was supposed to do.

  • Going to the good school,
  • getting the good grades,
  • getting the job,
  • going back to graduate school to become an attorney,
  • then getting the job at the big law firm with the big paycheck to be on the partnership track.
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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Does checking the right boxes lead to happiness

Then one night 16 years later, I found myself sitting on the floor of the bathroom, with a toddler in the tub, and the cordless phone clip to the back of my pants, and the toilet seat cover down with a notebook on it and papers spread all around me. And I was doing two things at the same time. I was bathing my toddler daughter and trying to prepare an expert witness for their upcoming deposition.

I had two thoughts in super quick succession. The first thought was, who says you can't do it all? Look at me. I'm a mom, I'm a lawyer. I'm here. I'm killing it. This is amazing. That was quickly followed by and I'm exhausted. Is this unsustainable? And perhaps more importantly, and more scarily, I'm not sure this is making me happy.

And that kicked off my own quest for, transformation, and, personal growth.  I had to figure out, well, okay, what does it mean, if I've done all of the things that I was supposed to do? And I checked all the boxes? And I'm not happy?

Transform your mind PTWWN TV
PTWWN TV – The Happiness Recipe

Where does happiness come from?

What the heck does, happiness, come from then? If it's not from success? If it's not from the results?

You talked about, happiness, is working towards a purpose or a goal.

  • What am I working towards here?
  • Why am I here In this season of my life?
  • What is my top priority?
  • What is the most important thing?

I panicked. And I started to think about what can I do? And the reality is, I can do a lot of things. I'm a lawyer, with a ton of management experience, a whole bunch of process experience. I've been a CEO, I mean, the list of jobs that I could apply for is pretty long. And thankfully, I had some voices in my life who said, timeout?

This is an opportunity, what do you want to do? Not what can you do, but what do you want to do? And that's how I landed in this business of helping other people chart their success and, happiness.

The Definition of happiness

Myrna: That's a good story. I love your evolution. One of the things I will add is when you're in a tub bathing your child and doing work, you're not giving her the attention she deserves.

Becky:  So true, I wasn't fully focused on one or the other. I had split focus and split focus is not efficient, effective or meaningful.

Myrna: So right. Yes, that's what mothers do. You know, they have one of the hips and they're doing it all.  So, that moment was the start of your, your evolution, your, transformation. You asked yourself the question Is this making me happy?  I'm working towards a goal. I'm working towards partnership, you're immediately disrupting my, definition of happiness.

My, definition of happiness, is working steadily towards a goal or purpose

I guess the other part of that is, fulfillment. And somehow your work wasn't hitting the, fulfillment, button inside.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

How do we identify the essential sources of happiness?

Becky: How do we find our essential, sources of happiness? I have a little exercise that I like to do with people that might seem silly or small, but it's not. And it's about developing a menu of things that you can do, that are easy and accessible, that you know, are going to create a positive emotional experience for you.

We can use Oprah's, sources of happiness, sitting in the bathtub.  We need to do to get down to the essential, sources of our joy, or have those positive emotional experiences is to ask a few more questions. Get down to the simple things that you can do to add, happiness, into your daily life.

When I'm sitting with a client is ask them to brainstorm a list of five to seven things that are their, sources of happiness. I ask them not to judge because on my list, one of my, sources of happiness, is clean sheets!

Then taking one on that list and asking yourself, what about that makes me happy? So, take the Oprah example. What about being in the bathtub that brings you, happiness?

  • Is it the solitude?
  • Is it the warmth of my water?
  • Is it the time with my thoughts?
  • There's something more than just the bathtub that brings you, happiness.
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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Invite your nervous system to become a partner in your happiness?

Becky: Happiness, makes you feel good or, or when you're doing the things that make you happy in that moment, right? You feel good, and it helps with your health, and it helps with resilience and all that. But your nervous system is a little different.

A lot of times more, happiness, for us lives on the other side of some sort of change. Whether it's change in behavior, change in circumstance, change in mindset. And at the most basic level, one of the important jobs that our nervous system plays is to keep us safe, literally, to keep us alive. That's where the, fight or flight, response, comes from.

Often when we're trying to make a change, it can feel uncomfortable and unpleasant, because it is our, nervous system, is saying, no, no, no, please don't. I know how to keep you safe; this new activity is not safe.  I have no data on it. So, often we mistake that discomfort as a sign that we shouldn't do it.

Myrna: That’s true that our brain’s function is to warn us about impending danger and to keep us safe. Which is why One of the first things I learned myself on my journey of self-improvement is you got to get out your, comfort zone, because whenever you sit In your comfort zone you're not moving, and you're not growing.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

The happiness recipe

What is the, happiness recipe?

Becky: Sometimes I worry that when I say the, happiness recipe, people are going to be like, That's it?  But here's the deal. And you've sort of set it in your definition. But the recipe for maximum, happiness, is super simple.

Do more of what matters to you, and less of the rest.

Simple, though, obviously, doesn't mean easy. There's a lot that goes into that very short phrase and into it's execution.  I've identified what I think are  the three areas of the, happiness recipe. Three areas where there can be gaps that stop us from executing on the, happiness recipe.

  1. And the first is what I call the, authenticity gap. Do we know what matters most to us? And are we willing to claim it publicly? Because to live it, you must be willing to speak it. You must be willing to share it.  Be willing to have other people see it.
  2. Then there's the middle gap of the, happiness recipe.  I call that the, emotional energy gap, or the, mindset gap, that's all the beliefs and feelings that get in the way of us executing on that knowledge of what makes us happy.

We know what matters most to us, we know the goal or purpose that we want to be working towards; but do we have the, mindset, and belief that will allow us to make that happen?

3. The third gap in the, happiness recipe, is the, physical energy gap, which is really the execution piece. Do you align your time energy and resources with what matters most to you?  I call it priority aligned living.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Book: The Happiness Recipe

You told us about your book the , happiness recipe, we all know we can pick up a copy on Amazon, but give us your website and maybe a couple of your social media handles or so that people can connect with you.

Becky: My website which is www.untanglehappiness.com. And on there you can find all the social media links to connect with me on social media. You can also find a link to my book The Happiness recipe and you can learn about the work that I do.

Myrna: It's been an incredible conversation. We talked about, happiness, the big takeaway from this conversation is our, sources of happiness. If you were to ask someone  Are they happy?  They're probably going to be talking about, is my life good? Is my husband good to me? Am I making enough money? Am I living my dream life?

They're going to think of the big things that cause, happiness.

Transform your Mind Podbean
Transform your Mind Podbean

Sources of happiness

I found that, definition of happiness, is working towards a goal or purpose.  Happiness, comes from taking those steps towards it. That  is what makes you happy, when you're moving towards something.  When you feel stuck, or you think you're going backwards, is when you're unhappy. So, it's the same thing, finding moments to bring you joy, understand your, sources of happiness, can be as simple as clean sheets, or taking a bath, everybody can do that. Everybody can find, happiness, sitting inside a tub, you don't have to have waterfalls!

You can find, happiness, by taking a walk.  Happiness, for me is walking in a park, you can find a park with trees everywhere. Find your, source of happiness, if could be a good book, it could be clean sheets, it could be taking a bath, whatever is your, source of happiness, start there and then you pick a goal or a purpose and you take little baby steps towards it.

Once you are moving in the right direction, you are going to be happy. So, thank you, Becky, for that simple, happiness recipe. It is a very simple recipe. Head over to Becky's website, connect with her on social media and pick up a copy of her book.

‘The Happiness Recipe: A Powerful Guide to Living What Matters’.

Additional Resources

How to be Happy with Less

How to Get Out of The Lions Den

Most of us on finding ourselves in the, lions den, would only be concerned with the lions (the problem) we would not be thinking of any other, problem, but the lions that are about to eat us.  Daniel, turned his back upon his, problem, and instead looked towards the, light, that was God.

In this episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I share wisdom for the New Year.  How to deal with any problem that is trying to take your spiritual life, knock you down or eat you up.  When, Daniel, was thrown into the, lions Den, he turned his back on the problem!

Download the Podcast Here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9831187-how-to-get-out-of-the-lions-den.mp3?download=true

Bible Story: Daniel in the lions' den

Darius became the ruler over Babylon. He loved, Daniel, and wanted to make him leader over all the kingdom. Some of the king’s wise men were jealous.

The wise men knew, Daniel, prayed to God, so they tricked the king into making a new law. Anyone who prayed to God would be thrown into a, lions den.

Daniel, chose to pray to God anyway. The king’s wise men saw, Daniel, praying and told the king that, Daniel, was breaking the law. The king realized his wise men had tricked him. He tried to find a way to save, Daniel, but the king had to follow his own law.

Daniel, was thrown into the, lions den. The king stayed awake all night, fasting so that, Daniel, would be protected.

Early the next morning, the king rushed to the, lions’ den. He called to, Daniel, to see if he was still alive. Daniel, called back! He told the king that God sent an angel to shut the lions’ mouths. The lions did not hurt him.

The king was happy that, Daniel, was safe. He punished those wise men who tricked him, and he ended the law. He taught his kingdom about God’s power and goodness.

Transform Your Mind Podcastland
Transform Your Mind Podcastland

Prayer works while in the Lions' den

The story of, Daniel, is the story of every man. It is recorded that, Daniel, while locked in the, lions den, turned his back upon the hungry beasts; and turned towards the, light, coming from above while praying to God.

Daniels’s story was written to instruct you in the art of freeing yourself from your, problem,  or whatever is holding you captive.

Most of us on finding ourselves in the, lions den, would only be concerned with the lions (the problem) we would not be thinking of any other, problem, but the lions that are about to eat us.  Daniel, turned his back upon his, problem, and instead looked towards the, light, that was God.

Transform Your Mind Podnews
Transform Your Mind Podnews

While in the Lions Den look towards the light

The message in this, scripture, is when we are threatened with any dire disasters such as poverty, sickness, divorce, we could remove our attention from these lions and look towards the, light, of God which is our solution.

For example, if you were imprisoned, no man would need to tell you that what you should desire is freedom. Freedom or the desire to be free would be automatic.

The same would be true if you found yourself sick or in debt or in any other predicament. Lions den, represent any situation that could swallow you up.

The solution is to, turn your back on the problem, and focus your attention on the promises of God.

Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

Move your faith into action

This is where your, faith, moves from something you read about to something you do.

What is the lion in your life right now that is trying to eat you up? We are in a pandemic a lot of us are dealing with debt and sickness.

I know that when you are in the, lions den, it is natural to focus on the lion that is trying to kill you, but you must find the strength to turn away. Look towards the, light, and speak the, scriptures, you should be standing on.

Scriptures like “I will live and not die”

“Everything works out for my good”

“I know the plans I have for you plans to prosper you”

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

How to get out of the lions den

An amazing thing happens when you show no fear and engage, faith, the lions disappear!

People who were hopelessly in debt, become debt free.

People with incurable diseases become cured within a short time.

There is a saying that if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything!

Daniel, stood up for his relationship with God, and did not stop praying to his God.

He maintained a vibrant, faith, in God despite living and working in an ungodly culture surrounded by unbelievers.

What are you standing for in your life?

Conclusion

Thanks for turning in to 5 mins with coach Myrna keep looking towards the light.

Hope to see you next week for another episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna until next time Namaste

Additional Resources 

Finding Joy In Your Nothingness

Transform Your Mind With Alchemy

transform your mind with alchemy

The definition of, alchemy, is turning lead into gold.  That's the meaning that we're told to understand, but there's so much deeper going on behind it. Turning lead into gold means turning something Heavy and impure into something precious.

Today we are talking on the topic using, alchemy, to transform your mind.

Bio

Vi Vi Thai, is a writer, truth seeker healer and fearlessly determined to live a free lifestyle, regardless of others opinions. In her book “Living Through Alchemy,” Vi seeks to dispel the myths beyond and behind, alchemy, shining and eliminated in light of this fascinating, esoteric practice; a compilation of a lifetime of soul searching.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9812742-transform-your-mind-with-alchemy.mp3?download=true

 

Book Living through Alchemy
Book Living through Alchemy

The book “Living Through Alchemy” blends the fields of art and science, painting a compelling picture of how, alchemy, manifests in your daily lives. Living her, life purpose, Vi helps others to find their path of freedom to live their authentic selves, because only then she feels that we can live a fulfilled life of happiness.

Today Vi is speaking to me from her camper with her dog and her, van life.   We are going to be embarking on a, journey of freedom, and, spirituality. Let's start out by telling you what exactly is, alchemy?

Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV
Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV
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WB-Mining is an idea by Jochen Weinel, who made a name for himself in the past for his innovative concepts in marketing, sales and the entertainment industry.
With WB-Mining, Weinel combines these three aspects into an unprecedented entertainment cocktail that promises excitement and thrills for everyone involved.

The game:

Imagine opening an app on your smartphone. It is an economic and construction simulation where the aim is to make smart decisions, expand your empire and increase your income

Head over to https://wb-mining.com/ for the rules of the game and to submit your gold rush application.

Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

 

My introduction to Alchemy

Vi: I came across, alchemy, probably about seven years ago after I read the book “ The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho”. That book inspired me to embark on my, nomadic life,  and, van life, because Paulo,  loved to travel, and he wanted to travel the world. During that time, I was in a very dark phase of my life. I was very unhappy about my job, and everything else in my life. I was questioning the, meaning of life. I was asking myself questions like:

  • Why do I exist?
  • What's my, life purpose? Because I was so unhappy.

Every day going to work, it felt like I was carrying a huge rock on my shoulder. I asked myself, am I supposed to live like this? Why did I go through 10 years of school, got a very high degree, got a very prestigious job in one of the best hospitals in the US and I am still depressed?

https://www.ebay.com/e/home-garden/certified-refurbished-small-kitchen-appliances?mkcid=1&mkrid=711-53200-19255-0&siteid=0&campid=5338901090&toolid=20014&customid=&mkevt=1

At this time, I came across this book; but I didn't understand anything about, alchemy, at that time. So, I thought it was a really cool story about traveling. I didn't know that there's so much, esoteric, meanings that were embedded in this book. Not until last year when I was writing a book about my, van life. When I decided to go deeper into my, nomadic life, and, van life, I realized that it had to do with my spiritual journey and, freedom.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

My Nomadic Life and Alchemy

I wanted to live in a van, because I didn't want to go back to the corporate life. I wanted to have more time for myself, to learn who I am and follow my passion.

That's the reason I changed my, lifestyle; I wanted to live simply in a very low-cost way, and mainly focus on what I love to do the most. I just followed that passion and where it led me.  That was the biggest thing I learned from the book, The Alchemist.  I learned from that book is just to follow your heart and so that's how it led me here. And during that the writing process of my book, I stumble upon a show about, alchemy.  Everything happened like, synchronicity.

Myrna: My last podcast was on the topic of, synchronicity, which states that there's no coincidences in life!

Vi Vi: I started seeing, synchronicity, happen all around me. So, when I was writing the book, I came upon this show called “Mystery Teachings” presented by Teresa fuller on Gaia Network.

Myrna: I am not picking up, what is  alchemy, can you give us a definition of it?

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What is Alchemy

Vi Vi: The definition of, alchemy, is turning lead into gold.  That's the meaning that we're told to understand, but there's so much deeper going on behind it. Turning lead into gold means turning something heavy and impure into something precious.

However, the goals of, alchemy, went far beyond simply creating some golden nuggets.

The history of alchemy, was rooted in a complex spiritual worldview in which everything around us contains a sort of universal spirit, and metals were believed not only to be alive, but also to grow inside the Earth. When a base, or common, metal such as lead was found, it was thought to simply be a spiritually and physically immature form of higher metals such as gold. To the, alchemists, metals were not the unique substances that populate the Periodic Table, but instead the same thing in different stages of development or refinement on their way to spiritual perfection.

Myrna: That's beautiful It's almost like turning coals into diamonds, same kind of thing.

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Stages of Alchemy

In order to understand, what is alchemy, you need to understand the, stages of alchemy, and how It transmuted. So, alchemy, refers to the stages of transmutation. It's sort of spacious and through that process you transform into a different form.  Similar to how the caterpillar transforms into the butterfly. Just like the caterpillar it has to go through the stages.

The 7 stages of Alchemy
  1. Calcination – This stage refers to the breaking of our attachments to the worldly.
  2. Dissolution – The chemical process of dissolution is to take the ashes from calcination and dissolve it in water.
  3. Separation – In this stage the, alchemist, separates and filters the products of dissolution.
  4. Conjunction – Here the, alchemist, is at peace with both the perceived “darker” aspects of the self, and the mask that they need to wear when interacting with the world.
  5. Fermentation – Fermentation is essentially, all about testing this newly integrated self. We test ourselves through trials and tribulations, through the natural swings that life provides us.
  6. Distillation – To prepare for the final stage, we need to purify the spirit to make sure that it is free from any destructive forms of ego
  7. Coagulation – Here, there is the meeting between matter and spirit, inner and outer, good and evil, the union of dualities. It is at this stage of, spiritual alchemy, where the spirit has become self aware – it perceives itself, and it sees and understands that the inner world and the outer world are not different, but reflections of each other.
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Alchemy and the Seven Chakras

The, stages of alchemy, also connect us to the, energy portals, in the body the, chakras.  All your, chakras, also connect you to the, seven laws of the universe, and once you go through the process and stages of, alchemy, you perceive the world without dualities and embrace consciousness.

Once you travel through an the, stages of alchemy, you open up your third eye chakra, and remove the blockage of the Pineal Gland.

Myrna: Everything you're saying I understand.  I do energy work with my, chakras, and I am reading  Deepak Chopra's book right now “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.”

Vi Vi: It's a very natural process.  It happens to everyone because The Universe wants you to transmute; change is the only constant.  So in, alchemy, everything has to transmute. The universe wants to protect itself and that’s why we all have to go through the process of transmutation.

Transform Your Mind Podnews
Transform Your Mind Podnews

Transform your mind with Alchemy

The beauty of, alchemy, is that once you understand all of these stages, then you'll be able to have a different perspective about your life. When you have a different perspective, then you have different thoughts. You look at things differently.

Once you have different views, you have different actions so you do things differently. So with, alchemy, we are creating a different reality. Through this process of letting go and purifying, you start to, transform your mind, as well.

When you go through this process of purifying, you travel through the, seven chakras, and the, Kundalini energy, is activated. When you open up all your, chakras, the energy is lighter. So, once it is opened up, it gives the light the passage for the, Kundalini energy, to rise through the, chakras.

As the Kundalini energy rises to the, sixth chakra, your third eye, this allows you to see with intention and access to the spiritual realm. We have blockages in our, third eye charka; we all have blockages is in our, chakras. So, the end result is the healing of these blockages.

Kundalini Energy

Myrna: I'm familiar with, Kundalini energy, I do, Kundalini meditation.  This energy is like a snake that goes up your nervous system.  I practice thinking of the, Kundalini energy, moving from my, seventh chakra, and going all the way up to my, first chakra.

Vi Vi: I teach about the, 7 stages of alchemy, and people can find my book on Amazon, it will soon be available everywhere, but for now it is only on Amazon. The title of the book is “Living Through Alchemy, a transformational journey to freedom.” And they can also go to my website www.livingthroughalchemy.com , and that's where they learn more information about the book and I have my book trailer on there. They can also download a free copy as well of the first chapter.  In the first chapter I walk people through the, meaning of alchemy, and explain the, stages of alchemy. Follow Vi Vi on Instagram at @smileyvivi05

Check out Vi Vi YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6_bnIuxOak50QN3QB_jUkg

 

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Additional Resources

Nothing is Impossible: How to Turn Life's Challenges Into Opportunity

 

 

How to Succeed in Commercial Real Estate

Martin Sawa Commercial Real Estate

I thought about all the things I could sell and, commercial real estate, looked like the biggest assets and I figured they must have the biggest commissions.

Martin Sawa's story is about the American Dream. He went from selling hair brushes door to door, to becoming a success in the world of, commercial real estate, in the top market of San Francisco.

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Bio

MARTIN SAWA is a first generation Ukrainian American, former San Francisco real estate power broker, and author. His remarkable rise to, self-made wealth, from the humblest beginnings.  A devastating loss forced him to reevaluate the meaning of success, and how the impact of love, family, religion, and race shaped the metaphorical zoetrope of Martin’s own, American Dream.

A son of poverty-stricken Ukrainian immigrants who as a teenager sold hairbrushes door to door, Martin later quit a stable 9-to-5 job to try his hand at the high stakes world of San Francisco, commercial real estate, in the early ‘80s. As the demands of the job required more and more of him, Martin found himself in the grip of, alcoholism. It would take a tragedy to pull him out of it.

  Martin’s new book THE OTHER SIDE OF SUCCESSMoney and Meaning in the Golden State is an account of the new American experience, told from the perspective of a first-generation immigrant who made the, American Dream, a reality. The book tells stories of the glamorous and cutthroat world of, commercial real estate, in the second most expensive market in the country. Readers will be inspired by Martin’s tenacity and drive as well as his resilience in the face of personal trauma and tragedy.

book The other side of success
Book The Other Side of Success

Getting started in Commercial Real Estate

Myrna: I love your story. Can you bridge for us as we start off. I know you sold hairbrushes from door to door. What was your entry into, commercial real estate, like? How did that happen?

Martin: Well, at the time I was almost 30 years old, (I had grown up in the Midwest but moved to California) I was living in Oakland which is across the bay from, San Francisco. I had a dead end job – I was driving 40 miles one way down to San Jose and I was a city planner.

One day, I was standing at the counter processing permits and a developer came in. He was angry and waving his plans. As I looked at him, he was like a silver fox with a big gold medallion. I wondered why I was doing what I was doing because not only did I not like the job, I was dead broke and my then wife was pregnant with our daughter. So I just quit and walked away. I didn't know right away what I was going to do, but then I remembered when I was a teenager my first sales job.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

When I just finished high school, I sold the hair brush products, door-to-door sales, in the west side of Chicago. I was good at it and it taught me, sales skills. I had a great mentor too who taught me the, fundamentals of sales, and I knew I could sell. The, fundamentals of sales, don't change whether you're selling hair brushes or high-rise office buildings as a, commercial real estate agent. It's just a difference of degree.

Specializing in Commercial Real Estate

I thought about all the things I could sell and, commercial real estate, looked like the biggest assets and I figured they must have the biggest commissions.

Myrna: Yes, why not go for it?

Martin: I go for it and I started out. There are many specialties or work opportunities and, commercial real estate,

  • You can do brokerage,
  • leasing office space,
  • property management
  • I chose to be in investment property sales which was the riskiest because these deals took months to put together.

If they came together at all!  You weren't guaranteed a paycheck and usually had to wait a long time to see the money. It took me a year before I actually got my first commission check. So, that taught me how to make ends meet without having any money coming in.

Door to door sales is usually the first entry into sales

Myrna: Wow, there are tons of things I want to circle back to, – one my entry into sales was similar. I sold encyclopedias from, door-to-door sales, and found that I was good at it.  Not because I had any, sales skills, they didn't really teach us any, sales skills, but I learned that I had the, personality, that people would buy from me.

I went into sales later on in my career as well. As I mentioned, I'm a, Realtor, but, door-to-door sales, kind of started my, sales career.  I've always sold that way with my, personality, not necessarily knowing that there's a stage one, two and three, sales skills, and following it kind of format.

The second thing is about, real estate, whether it's, commercial real estate, or,  residential real estate, is that you are working and you don't get paid until there's a closing. So, obviously, the bigger the deal, the longer it's going to take to put together, the longer you have to wait for a pay check.

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Pandemic affected Real Estate

I started trying to get into, commercial real estate,  just before the pandemic hit. Everybody wanted, multifamily real estate, because they said it was recession proof. Real Estate Investors,  and there were people calling me all the way from California and all around the world even as I'm in Florida. They wanted these, multi-family deals. What happened is that the sellers wanted more money that the buyers were willing to pay.

So, I was never able to get it married, get a marriage and get this big ass commission because I offered one of the buildings for $10 million, so it should have been a really nice commission but then the pandemic happened.

Now it looks like multi-families wasn't recession-proof because now, nobody really wants to touch him because of the eviction ban. The tenants are not paying their rent and you can't evict the tenants.

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Commercial Real Estate Glamourous and cutthroat

Myrna: Why did you say that, commercial real estate, is glamorous and cutthroat?

Martin: It’s the people would use you up and just throw you out, that kind of thing – like they do in the residential. Well, first of all, you have to understand my perspective or baseline. My parents grew up in Ukraine in the years before and during the Second World War, they lived under both Hitler and Stalin so it doesn't get any worse than that.

I will say one thing and if you've been in the business and you understand that you can work like crazy a year on a deal and it falls apart and on another deal you can work 10 minutes, five minutes and make a huge commission and you have the mindset that that's the way it works. If I could predict which deals I was going to close, I could have worked one month out of the year!

Myrna: You mentioned that San Francisco is the second largest, real estate, market in the USA. So, I'm assuming the top is New York?

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Martin:  It always used to be Manhattan but then with the expansion of Silicon Valley, and in San Francisco, (historically was a financial services city) there are insurance companies, banks etc., but with the technology explosion, it moved up into San Francisco so now half the tenants are tech. The whole nature of the business changed in terms of who were your customers and clients, and with tech you got all these. All of a sudden, billionaires living 30-40 miles down the Peninsula, in the Los Altos, Hills of Palo Alto etc., and the prices not just in San Francisco but throughout the Bay Area just exploded.

Commercial Real Estate in San Francisco

So, San Francisco, caught up to Manhattan sometime in the last five years and just in terms of absolute property value per square foot, not only for commercial but for residential as well.

Myrna: You said that when you were doing, door-to-door sales, you had a mentor that taught you the skill sets to sell and you said it was transferable. Can you give us a bit of the skills that you learned doing, door-to-door sales, and how you're able to transfer those skills into being successful a, commercial Real Estate agent?

Door-to-Door sales convert to Commercial real estate skills

Martin: If you sold encyclopedias, you understand it's the most kind of basic Fundamental mono a mono that you can have. It's you and another person, and that person in my case was typically a housewife in her personal home environment. So, it's you the housewife. The key is – if they open the door at all you have a minute or two to develop trust to get in two minutes and you either do or you don't.

If you're broke and extended on credit cards and have a baby girl and two step kids, you're going to do whatever it takes to get in that door, and that cannot be taught. The sales supervisor can kind of tell you how to do it, but you've got to be hungry. That’s pure desire, you take the rejection and keep going.  If you get rejected at ten houses, you're going to go to the 11th. So, once you get in, there are techniques for converting the trust into an order and making a commission. I was again fortunate because the mentor I had was very good at teaching me these, sales skills.

Alcoholism and commercial real estate

Myrna: Before we get into your book, what happened that made you become an, alcoholic, and how did tragedy and self-resilience pull you out of that?

Martin: Well, there’s just a little back story in the little town I grew up in. I had a population of 5000 people and 40 bars. Most of the male population in the town was quote, alcoholic. I was a two-fisted drinker and that was a compliment. I mean that's just the way those times were and it's still that way in many parts of the world, in rural areas where alcohol drives a lot of choices that people make and sometimes they're not very good.

I started drinking beer in cornfields when I was 12 and then, I went to College and I finished at University of Wisconsin in Madison which was a huge party school and it's just something I did. When I got into, commercial real estate, there were all the functions and cocktail parties, so I just remained a, functional alcoholic, in the business, but it became more and more of an issue when I remarried my second wife.

She became the person who was not only wife and lover, but became my spiritual mentor in moral compass and she had powers in what I call the world of the unseen. I think you probably can guess what all that involves. It got to the point that there was a major incident (I won't give you the spoiler), you just have to read the book, but it came down to her saying “you either quit drinking or that's it”.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

I got it and I did what I had to do then, but the really most impactful experience in my life was a few years later when she dropped dead one night. There was nothing to prepare for that experience and that's when I really had to evaluate the big picture and business and all of that and then life and meaning.

Tragedy and alcoholism

Myrna: That is you've got “a you” and a great story. There are so many different nuggets and many different checkpoints in there. You said you share all this in the book so that people would be able to understand the, sales skills, understand how you were able to move through, alcoholism, and now you're on the other side.

You learned the fundamentals like you said and then you're able to build on that by being at the highest level of, real estate. You know, commercial real estate, and in a city that is number one or number two interchangeable in, real estate. I'm pretty sure you've got a lot of good stories in there.

Your book “The other side of success, money and meaning in the golden State”, my favorite question to ask authors is what do you want readers to walk away with after they close the book?

Martin: If I just wanted to work off grief, I could have kept the personal journal. First and foremost I created it as a story. I think I have a good story that even if, commercial real estate, is not something the reader has a high interest in, they will find enough else in there about life and so forth – that they'll find rewarding.

Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV
Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV

Living the American Dream

Myrna: Your parents lived in the Hitler era, you came to America as we all come to America hoping for the, American dream.

You found that dream, but along the way you had some personal tragedy and, Alcoholism, but you were able to get over to the other side. Now, as you write the book, you're sharing the story of personal tragedy and success with some business nuggets. Do I get that right?

Martin: Yes, exactly okay. I try not to get too technical also because this is for the general reader in terms of, there's one chapter devoted just for, commercial real estate, and share how I put a deal together.  I try not to get too much in the financial aspects and all of that.

Myrna:  That's good though, because when you've got, commercial real estate, in the tagline, someone will pick it up because they're in, commercial real estate. So, it's good that you have a chapter on putting together deals in, commercial real estate.

Conclusion

Martin: If listeners would like to buy the book, the easiest thing is just to go to my website www.martinsawa.com. You can buy it online from Amazon or the bookseller of your choice. With another click, go to my social media sites where you can see some of my other archived interviews. If you scroll to the bottom you can send me an email. I love to hear from readers.

Myrna: This was a very great interview. Like I said, I love combining self-help with a bit of business and building wealth. In the, commercial real estate, you didn't want to talk about your commissions, but I am sure they were impressive. The deals may take one or two years to do, but in the end it's rewarding. Do you have any last words for the readers?

Martin: Yes. Take advantage of the time while you have it because you never know when the big guy is going to call your Number.

Additional Resources

How to Own the Sales Process from Prospect to Client

Real Estate Investing with No Money