Category Archives: Life Coaching

Caring for your Inception or Thought Seeds

As a CEO, it doesn't matter whether your company is only “you” or you have a staff of one thousand. If you are the CEO, you are the visionary. You are all your company has, and your company will rise or fall depending on what you do with your “thought seed” or, inception, ideas.
You are the lid!

Limits, like fear, is often an illusion.
Michael Jordan

What we are today comes from our, inception, thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.
Buddha (563 BC-483 BC) Founder of Buddhism

An, inception, story

Let's say you are a Law student at Harvard University; but your passion is writing software. You spend most of your time in the computer lab writing code. One day your friend and fellow computer enthusiast show you an edition of Popular Electronics magazine, featuring a kit to build one of the first mini computers, the “Altair 8800”.

You think to yourself, this new computer needs software to run, inception, thought, idea! I can write the code for the software to run this computer!. So you call the company and tell them that you have already written software that would run on this new computer. Not true, you don’t even have a model!

But you get them to agree to give you a meeting to demonstrate. You bust your ass to deliver; and you meet the deadline. Your code worked perfectly. The company gives you the contract. You quit Harvard and go full time into your own company; you call it Micro-soft! All because of an, inception, thought, idea.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Where is reality in this story? How many CEO’s operate in this space of total confidence, vision and action? The ordinary would have said, “We would need to get an Altair computer and understand the Bios before we can write code.” The ordinary would wait for the right time to make the call.  The ordinary would waste this, inception, idea because they are waiting for the right time or the stars to line up.

You know the end of the story. Bill Gates and Paul Allen started Microsoft after that. At 23 years old, Bill had 25 employees and his company was grossing over 2 million annually. This was before IBM and MS-DOS. Today he is the richest man in the world with a personal fortune in the billions.

 

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How to Care for your, Inception, or, Thought,  seeds.

Care for your, “thought, seeds” or, inception, ideas. Ideas that are in alignment with your purpose will light you up and make you feel good. Most of us, you and me, when we get, “thought, seeds”, we filter them through our reality filter. We ask the question “does this make sense”.

“Dare to be unrealistic. Saying this is not realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity”
Will smith

What do you do with your, “thoughts, seeds“? Are you like the farmer from the scriptures? Do you sow some of them on rocks? Where the winds of negativity or your friends and family discourage you and tell you it would never work? Thoughts, are incepted into your mind so you can water them and make them grow.

Inception of thought seeds

“A farmer went out to sow his seed. 4 As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. 5 Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6 But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. 9 Whoever has ears, let them hear.”………Mathew 13:4-9

Each moment as you move through this world, you are planting seeds. Those seeds are your, thoughts. Once planted, they take root and grow into a forest of reality which surrounds you. So how is your forest growing?

Is it filled with beautiful, productive flora, growing from a steady stream of, positive thought seeds,? Or is it filled with gnarled, thorny, tangled vines which hold you back in every direction?

The trees that grow depend upon the seeds that are planted. Though each thought is a small, seemingly insignificant thing, once it has passed through your mind it begins to grow into something real and substantial.

Each, thought, combines with the other, thoughts, that came before it, and the, thoughts, that come after it, to set the direction of your reality. Even the most secret, hidden thoughts eventually become obvious because of the direction they give to your life.

You can decide how to direct your mind, and by so doing you can profoundly affect the reality of your life. Plant row after row of positive, empowering, thought seeds, and these, inception, thoughts, will grow into a rich and magnificent forest of value and accomplishment.

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So, when you have a, “thought, seed” or, inception, that excites you; you plant it in the ground, you cover it up, you water it and it WILL become a tree.

I started off talking about CEO's; but each and every one of us wants to grow up to be something.

Michael Jordon wanted to be the best at basketball. So he hired a coach and every summer he practiced and mastered one skill.

Coaching helps you take stock of where you are now in all aspects of your life, and how that compares to where you would like to be.
Elaine MacDonald

Join me for my new webinar workshop entitled “The Leader Within“. I am offering to HELP you either water the, “thought, seeds” already planted or plant new “seeds” to realize your vision. This webinar will be absolutely FREE!. Its purpose is to help you discover where you are today and plant your, inception, idea of where you want to be.

So if you want to be something tomorrow you are not today then:
REGISTER FOR FREE!!

Additional Resources:

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-transform-good-thoughts-into-things/

http://blog.myhelps.us/principle-4-have-a-positive-mind-set/

 

Who is Tending your Mind Garden?

 

As a gardener of your, mind, you have to be vigilant about tending your, mind garden. Imagine your, mind, as a garden. Positive thoughts are the beautiful flowers that brighten your life. Negative thoughts are the ugly weeds that spread and suffocate your happiness, by cutting off sunlight. Just like plants we need sunlight to thrive.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha

Negative thoughts can take the form of fear, self-doubt, guilt, anger, blame, insecurity, prophesying or any thought that makes you feel bad! 

Garden your, mind, to kill the ANTS, Automatic Negative Thoughts

The mind garden of fear

Fear  – defined as false events appearing real, is the number one reason that we don't achieve success in this life, it grows when we don't tend our, mind garden. Fear of the unknown, that feeling of uncertainty. Our, minds, spin tales of past events when we failed or of someone we knew who failed.  One way to Kill this, automatic negative thought,  or weed in our, mind garden, is to imagine what is the worst that could happen.

If you hate your job and are afraid to leave for fear that you would be able to find another job that pays as much or more than you are making now; talk back to this fear and say that you are skilled and you would so get another job. If the worst that could happen is that you run out of money and can't eat or become homeless; then you plan ahead and either find another job before you quit or acquire the necessary skills to get the job you want. Doing nothing because you are afraid should never be an option. There is also a positive side to this ANT or weed in your, mind garden.

If you are afraid of losing something be it your spouse, your job, your home; it tells you that these things are important to you and that you should do the necessary due diligence to keep them. For example if you fear losing your spouse, then you should work on keeping the marriage fresh, you should keep yourself attractive and don’t let yourself get to 300 lbs and you should serve your spouse and make them feel special.

 

Self-doubt grows in your mind garden

Lack of confidence is a very powerful, automatic negative thought, or weed that could unchecked in your, mind garden. One of the most essential character traits to have is confidence. It is sexy and it allows you to command attention. When this, automatic negative thoughts, is telling you that you are not good enough, you will not get that promotion because you don't have a degree for example; talk back and tell it that you are the best person for this job and that it is their loss if they don't hire you.

Tend to your, mind garden, and pull up this weed.  If you don’t, you will never move from where you are today. You will never be an over achiever or the top sales person on a team! You need self-confidence to achieve success.

Guilt is a weed in your mind garden 

Guilt, is a result of your conscience in your, mind, telling you that you have violated your own core value. It is telling you that you did something that is moving you away from your predetermined goal. You can pull up this weed from your, mind garden,  by telling yourself that you recognize your mistake and that you have forgiven yourself. Don't let the guilt and shame arrest you and keep your, mind, in bondage.

Anger – Anger ANTS, automatic negative thoughts,  keep telling you that someone had no right to do something. The more you think about it, the angrier you get. Psychologists say that anger is like an iceberg, what you see is just the tip but there is more ice for miles below the surface. If you are conscious you have an Anger Management problem, then you should understand (with the help of a Therapist) what is causing your anger.  You can pull up this weed from your, mind garden, by telling this , automatic negative thought, that you cannot control what someone else does; the only person you can control is yourself.

Blame – this, automatic negative thought, can be very destructive. When you blame others for the results you are having in your life, you assume the role of the victim. As the victim, you have no power to facilitate change. You pluck this ANT from your, mind garden, by becoming a player. As a player you take back control. Regardless of what the dealer is showing, you can still win! You are not the product of your circumstances. Everybody has a story, it is how you handle adversity and challenges that define and grow you.

Prophesying – the prophesying, automatic negative thought, talks to you about what it knows about the future! It tells you things like “you are never going to close that sale”. “The customer is going to string you along and they will never buy” or “it is never going to work out”. You remove this ANT from your, mind garden, by declaring that you cannot predict the future. You do not have a crystal ball!

Automatic negative thoughts are the weeds in your mind garden

My, Automatic Negative Thoughts, generally take the form of conversations. These ANTS usually starts crawling when I get a trigger. You know what happens when you step on an Ants nest? The Ants all run out at the same and start attacking, they bite!

Tony Robbins teaches about anchors and how to replace the negative ones with positive ones. If you have this problem you should check out his book “The Power Within“. The way I handle these, automatic negative thoughts,  is by shaking my head when I become conscious that they are crawling around. I physically shake my head like I am trying to shake them off me, then I bring my attention to my breathing for a few minutes. If they come back again and they usually do, I download them in my journal and that usually takes care of the problem for me and frees my, mind.  This is how I tend my, mind garden. 

I tend the Garden of my mind by becoming Conscious of the thoughts that make me feel bad!

Positive thoughts on the other hand are like flowers, they beautify your gardens and bring smiles to anyone who stops and pays attention to their beauty; in a similar way positive thoughts make you beautiful to anyone who you have interpersonal relations with. But the beauty of positive thoughts is that they make you feel good. It is not only sex that makes you feel good!

Tending to the garden of your, mind, is an ongoing process.

I’ve seen firsthand how dangerous it is to let the weeds of negative thinking take over your, mind, and just like in your natural garden the weeds thrive more than the flowers or plants. In a similar way when you allow the, automatic negative thoughts, to run free in your head; they snuff all the joy out of your life. All you see is darkness, because they are blocking the sunlight from getting in! Let's look at a garden metaphor to bring an awareness of what happens when weeds take over a garden. Left alone the weeds flourish, creating a dark, tangled mess.

Is your, mind garden, full of weeds?

 

This morning I stepped outside and noticed one of the largest weeds I have ever seen. I didn't notice it before because it looked like a tree. It had a trunk, and was taller than the other flowers. I thought to myself; how on earth could a weed grow so strong and big?  The answer is simple:  their purpose is to take the nutrients from the plants, so they get big when your plants become weak and die.

So it is too with your, mind: An unattended, mind, can create havoc for you because your, mind, is amazingly receptive to whatever suggestions may be dropped into it. It has been said that the subconscious mind cannot take a joke. This simply means that whatever belief is introduced to it, it takes seriously as an instruction to grow that thought-seed into a full-blown plant–be it a rose or a weed, and it can’t tell the difference.

How to plant positive seeds in your, mind garden

When you stop and consider how many thought-seeds are purposefully planted in your, mind garden, on a daily basis, it may cause you to tend to your mental garden with a bit more regularity. This is in addition to all the seeds that were planted in your mind unconsciously. As you listen to the radio, watch TV or even sit in a restaurant where others are talking, your mind hears it ALL, irrespective of whether you are conscious of it or not. Given what’s going on in our world today with all of the talk that comes from fear and anger, this is a vital point to grasp. Even when you engage in gossip or negative conversation with or about others, your subconscious mind hears it all. Be careful of the seeds you let in.

A, mind, expanded with an implanted thought cannot be returned back to its original form.  Leonardo DiCaprio starred in this complicated movie called “inception”, the implantation of another person's idea into a target's subconscious.[Hollywood understands this concept. The only way to avoid this type of mind pollution is to be consciously focused on positive activities and limit news and gossip.

There are some companies that have a zero tolerance for gossip. They treat it like a cancer and remove the gossiper immediately.

The action you and I need to take is clear isn’t it? It has been proven that the human mind thinks thousands of thoughts a day. Instead of planting a mixed bag of thousands of various seeds, from fearful to simply confused and unfocused thought-seeds, which will require a full time gardener to pull up the weeds, why not specialize in planting one or two types of seed? Plant thought-seeds about yourself and others that are rooted in reverence and loving-kindness.

Plant seeds that focus on God’s Presence at the center and circumference of all you say think and do, at work, home, or play.

Be mindful…be skillful in the seeds you plant and how you nurture them. Your life is your garden; keep the weeds out because that is one way in which you can personally beautify our world. You owe that much to yourself and to those who receive the benefit of  the seeds you plant along the way.

Additional Resources

https://www.priorygroup.com/mental-health/anger-management/symptoms-of-anger-management

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201812/fear-false-evidence-appearing-real

 

http://blog.myhelps.us/principle-4-have-a-positive-mind-set/

Nutrition: The Role Of A Dietitian

Nutrition, is the study of nutrients in food, how the body uses them, and the relationship between diet, health, and disease. A, Dietitian, play a really big role in people's overall health. It's not just about, weight loss, proper, nutrition, can reduce the burden of disease, prevent and reverse disease.

Today I interview Vanessa Rissetto, registered Dietician and co-founder of Culina Health.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10030586-nutrition-the-role-of-a-dietitian.mp3?download=true

Bio

As the co-founder of Culina Health, Vanessa’s magic lies in her realistic and personalized approach to nutrition. With science as her first love, she is interested in helping clients to take an active role in their health journey with the help of her expertise: personalized lifestyle plans backed by evidenced-based, science-driven nutrition counseling, adult weight management, and building a better relationship with food. Vanessa received her MS in Marketing at NYU and completed her Dietetic Internship at Mount Sinai Hospital where she worked as a Senior Dietitian for five years.

Introduction to Nutrition

Myrna: You said science is your first love? Can you share your journey into becoming a registered, dietitian?

Vanessa:  Nutrition, is a discipline, in and of itself. And, nutrition, is a modality that elicits change. We know that anecdotally, and we are now starting to track data around that.  So a, dietitian, play a really big role in people's overall health. It's not just about, weight loss, I think that's the old narrative.  A, dietitian, is not somebody who is very elite and unattainable, and unaffordable.

So, if you can't afford, dietitian, and you're all relegated to being, unhealthy, and that's not the case, and we do much more than just manage some of the, weight.  Proper, nutrition, helps if you have, diabetes, if you have, kidney disease, cancer, or a nursing mother, and you want to help increase your milk supply.  All of these things, a, dietitian, can help you with. People don't realize this and we also take insurance.

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Using Your Insurance for better nutrition

My company Culina Health does take insurance. 91% of the patients that we see all exercise their insurance benefits. So, the services of a, dietician,  is basically a luxury service that you're not even really paying for. And using the help of a, dietitian, is going to help you with your, nutrition, will help extend your life. That's what a, dietitian, is there for.

The physician will save your life and the, dietitian, will keep you healthy.

Myrna: That's true, nutrition, is a big thing. I remember reading a book. I think it was Deepak Chopra's book, Perfect Health and he was saying that everybody should have a, nutrition book, everybody should have something or someone like a, dietician, who tells them about, nutrition. I like that your specialty, or your modality is you want to call it a, science based nutrition.

That's working with how their body processes and things, because one of the things I also learned is that the, digestive system, is just as unique as your fingerprint.

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Your nutrition is linked to you digestive system

Myrna: Everybody has a different, digestive system. So I'm sure a, dietitian, is somebody that can help you with that. I went to a, dietitian, once because my cholesterol was high. I know, nutrition, plays a big role in fighting, cancer. What made you decide to go into the, dietitian, field?

Vanessa: I studied biology in college, but I just didn't become a doctor for whatever reason. I went to a, dietitian, myself, in college, I had gained 50 pounds, because I didn't know anything about food. My mother wasn't somebody who thought about calories. We didn't have a scale in our house. And so I ate the food that my mother cooked every single day. And that was it. And I never had a problem with my, weight, and I didn't overthink the food that I ate.

We know that soda has chemicals and copious amounts of sugar. And it can affect your, weight, in a negative way. And so I gained all this, weight, in college. For me vegetable carbohydrates worked with my, digestive system, so I lost all the weight, but I didn't really understand how. I knew that a, dietitian, would be the person to tell me, so I went and met with a, dietitian, her name is Keri Glassman, she's a good friend of mine to this day. And she explained, nutrition, to me in a very pragmatic way.

How food affects your body. If this is your goal, this is what and how you should eat. And so it gave me clarity on what I was doing. I went on to lose another 15 pounds, not even because I was trying, but because I started to piece together how she recommended eating. It wasn't a restrictive prescription. It was you need to have a protein, a fat and a carbohydrate, every single meal. And I thought, wow, I could offer this service for other people. That seems very exciting and interesting. I started taking classes again and going on this journey to become a, dietitian.

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Becoming a Dietician

Myrna: That's awesome. You know, a lot of people become life coaches, because they were, life coaching, clients. So you became a, dietitian, because you liked your, dietitian. But alright, let's dissect that a little bit. The advice from your, dietician, was to eat a balanced meal.  She told you that you should have carbohydrates, fat, and protein at every meal.

Would that be considered, intuitive eating, or, prescriptive eating? So what I want to understand that even though we're all different, our bodies are all different scientifically. How does one size fit all? When you talk about, prescriptive eating, which means that everybody was following the same pattern, they have carbohydrates, proteins and fats at every meal.  What does, prescriptive eating, look like?

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Prescriptive eating plans from a dietician

Vanessa: Prescriptive eating, is if I tell you how and what to eat. If I tell you how to put the pieces together, that's going to lead you down a path towards, prescriptive eating.

Intuitive Eating, on the other hand is just knowing what works for you and only eating those foods. That works for some people and it doesn't work for others. Some people need more guardrails like, prescriptive eating, and other people don't. Your first experience with food depends on what on your how you were raised.

  • Did you grow up food insecure?
  • Does your mother have an eating disorder?
  • Did your parents use food to bribe you?
  • Are you constantly made to feel ashamed because you are overweight or underweight?
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The role insulin plays in nutrition

These are all the psychological factors and components that play and so, dietitians, have to understand The patient and every person is individualized. And that's why like we at Culina Health provide, personalized nutrition. So, for example, if you were a type two, diabetic, I would counsel you an entirely different way, than somebody who comes to me and says, all I do is think about food every single day and what I'm eating like every minute of every day, I'm thinking about what I'm eating. Well, that's, that's an eating disorder. And so we need to deal with that in a very different way.

But if you're a type two, diabetic, it's completely reasonable for me to say carbohydrates, affects your blood sugar, they raise your blood sugar, they tell your liver, store fat. When the blood sugar is raised, your pancreas mobilizes insulin. Insulin helps to bring the carbohydrate in the cells, that's a storage hormone. So that's also going to affect your weight.

So let's figure out how much carbohydrate you can have at every meal. How does carbohydrates affect you later on in the day. Some people have no problem eating carbohydrates at breakfast and lunch, but eating it at dinner is a problem. Some people, that's not how it works, they need to eat their carbohydrate earlier in the day. So it just depends on your, digestive system.

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How intuitive eating works with nutrition

So even though there's a prescription for eating, it's still intuitive to you and your life and your cycle. You know, what is going on with you. So, let's make that fit.

Myrna: To me, Intuitive Eating, is eating following your preferred diet and maybe tweaking it a little bit. Because either you're, diabetic, or you're not, or you want to build muscle, or lose weight etc. So, prescriptive eating, is what you would counsel someone to do, like a meal plan.

Vanessa: Whatever your goal is, maybe your goal is that you just want a better relationship with food. So okay. that's different than you have type two, diabetes, and we need to control your blood sugar. So I'd probably lean more prescriptive if I need to control your blood sugar.

Intuitive eating, is just following your normal diet. If you're from the Mediterranean or Caribbean Islands, intuitive Eating, is just honoring your body and, how you feel during the day nothing is off limits. We can eat whatever we want, we just have to understand how the food is affecting our body.

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PTWWN TV – Nutrition- The Role of a Dietician 

Contemplating weight loss is not doing the work

Myrna: You say that understanding what we eat is influenced by many factors. social, emotional, and psychological. So, talk to me about that. How those modalities fit into someone's, diet plan, for, weight loss?

Vanessa: People go between contemplative and action, they vacillate between the two often, and so it's our job as, dietitian, to recognize that, and really meet people where they where they are.  Because if they think that they're in action mode, but really, they're in contemplative or pre contemplative mode, they will not be successful achieving their goals. It's our job to help them understand where there are in the process. If I give you, diet plans, and every week you have excuses why you didn't complete them you are in the contemplative state, so let's step back.

Because we don't want you to feel negatively about this experience, or that you're not able to achieve your, weight loss, goals you're just not ready. And that's okay. So those are like those psychological components. And psychological and behavior, they sort of go hand in hand. And that's a big piece of this. We need to really understand our patients, how they behave, why they behave in the way, and how we can support them, so that they can achieve success.

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Your history with food

What is your relationship with food? How were you treated as a child? How do you feel around food? How were you first introduced to food? Do you know, what are your preconceived notions about food? Those things are also important.

Myrna: So you're talking about someone coming to see you, and they have a goal, either to be healthier, or they have an illness, like cancer, or even, something like Crohn's disease. So there's certain foods that they can't eat. So, when that person comes to you, you work with them on their social, I'm assuming that social means they go out a lot, eat fast food or not drinking water. Emotional, maybe their relationships. Some people eat when they are lonely or heartbroken etc. And I guess the psychological is are you ready to do the work to make a change?

I know someone who is overweight and his wife is always trying to get him to to pay attention to his weight and food, but he's not there yet. He doesn't have what it takes to to make that commitment to eat healthier.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

Weight isn't a predictor of mortality

Vanessa: Yeah, he's not ready if people are constantly talking about his, weight, then that's the thing for him. So this happens to a lot of people, I'm just using him because I know. But I do know that I see a lot of people that are overweight, and you're thinking, Well, why aren't they doing something about it?

They'll say, oh, that's healthy, or unhealthy? And then you're going to get sick at some point in time? Well, I think people are not ready. I mean, we know that, weight, isn't necessarily a predictor of morbidity and mortality, and some people choose to live in a larger body. And they're happy with that. And so that's that.

So we just, we recognize that and we noticed that it's not a one size fits all. And sometimes you just have to say to people, Hey, let's not let's talk about the, weight. You came here because your, cholesterol, is elevated. But we have to do things to make the, cholesterol, go down. So, I want to change the way that you eat in these ways.

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Cholesterol reduction plan from your dietician

Your current diet is that you don't eat breakfast, and then at night you over eat cookies. Let's come up with something that you will eat that's really easy and accessible. Let's say it's an English muffin with peanut butter for breakfast. You eat that for breakfast that every single day for three months and you only eat two cookies at night. I promise you your, weight, will have gone down and your lab will have gone down.

You can also lower your, cholesterol, if you had chia seeds or some berries, with almond milk, that would actually keep you full. And that's upping the fiber content, because fiber helps to draw, cholesterol, away from the body.

Meal plan:
  • two tablespoons of chia seeds,
  • one quarter cup of oats,
  • half a cup of berries, you'd probably be somewhere in the vicinity of 15 grams of fiber. And that's only at breakfast.
  • add vegetables at lunch and dinner,
  • and another piece of fruit paired with a fat like nuts, you would get to about 30 grams of fiber. If we focus on 30 grams of fiber every single day, that's will lower your, cholesterol. You don't have to eat oats, but it's just a quick vehicle for the fiber.

Additional Resources

How to Maintain Sustainable Weight Loss

You Were Born For This: Find Your Courage

A lot of times we become overwhelmed with the challenges we face in our lives.  We can do one of two things; we can fold up like a flower at night or we can stand up push out our chest find our, courage, and declare. I was, born for this!

This is exactly what happened to, Queen Esther, in the, bible story.

This is her story and why she was, born for this.

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Queen Esther's Story

King Xeroxes threw a banquet and for 6 months he celebrated with wine and food. He invited all the nobles from 127 province that he ruled over to attend this banquet.

In his drunken state he sent for his wife and demanded she appear before him in her robe and crown. He wanted to parade her around and show off her beauty to his subjects. She refused. That sent the king in a rage, and he asked his advisors what to do about her. They suggested he banish her forever from his presence because women all over the Kingdom would follow her and start to disrespect their men.

The king agreed and banished the queen, but now he needed a queen. So, they searched the country for the most beautiful virgins and brought them to the palace to be in the Kings, harem.

I have to pause here because this intrigues me.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict
Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

How women were prepared before they could sleep with the King

These women were prepared for one year before they were allowed to sleep with the king. In this year their skins were rubbed with the oil of myrrh for 6 months and the next 6 months their body was perfumed. Then after a year they would be sent to the king’s bed and would not get a chance again unless he was pleased with their performance and requested them again by name!

So, in those days the women in the, king’s harem, had to be beautiful smell like a fragrant garden and also had skills!! Wow! This was, life in harem.

Anyway, moving on with the story, Esther, had what the King wanted because not only did she please him and he sent for her by name several times, but he decided to make her his queen.

Now, Esther, was a, Jew, and she never told anyone. Her family was part of the, Jews, who were displaced when King Nebuchadnezzar banished the, Jews, from their homeland.

So, when her uncle heard that Haman was planning to destroy all the, Jews, on March 7 the following year, he asked, Queen Esther, to go before the king and ask for mercy.

Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Queen Esther Finds Her Courage

Now, the king had a rule that anyone who appears before him in his inner court without being invited is doomed to die, unless the King holds out his golden scepter. The king had not sent for, Esther, in 30 days. Her uncle told her if she did not go to the King and beg for mercy for her people, she would be dead anyway then he added “Maybe you were, born for this!”

So, Queen Esther, found her, courage, and risking her life and appeared before the King uninvited. But when a man loves a woman, she can do no wrong.  When, Queen Esther, appeared before the king in his inner court without being invited, the king welcomed her and held out his golden scepter then asked her

“What do you want Queen Ester? What is your request? I will give it to you, even if it is half my kingdom!

So it was that, Queen Esther, was responsible for saving her people the, Jews. Her, enemy, Haman was killed by the same trap he laid for Mordecai and all his sons and family was killed.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

You Were Born For This: Lessons from Queen Esther's Story

The first lesson is that you were born with a, purpose, and you don’t know what it is until you know. You must find the, courage, to do it afraid because, you were born for this.

Whatever life events or circumstances that is trying to kill you, just remember, you were, born for this. Everything that you have done in your life have been training for this moment.

Esther, was born with great beauty, but, Queen Esther, was trained in how to please a man and how to ask for things from a man. She threw the King 2 banquets before she asked for her request and then she began with

“If I have found favor with the king and if it pleases the king to grant my request and do what I ask.”

Learn the, rules of engagement, Learn the, rules of negotiation, learn how to ask your husband for what you want.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Queen Esther defeats her enemy and saves the Jews

The second lesson we can take from this story is that the, enemy, Satan and all his people go about seeking who to kill and destroy and you don’t have to do them anything for them to come after you. They can plot to destroy you because you refuse to bow down to them and placate their ego.

All you have to do to defeat your, enemies, is keep praying to God and he will take care of your, enemies, using the same weapons they formed against you to destroy them. Haman was killed on the same pole he planned to impale Mordecai on.

The, Jews, were victorious against their, enemy, and so will you because, you were born for this.

This is coach Myrna Young and this is, 5 min with coach Myrna, until next time God Bless.

You are invited to join my private Facebook Group called Lifecoach to be inspired by hundreds of Life Coaches every day

Additional Resources

Nothing is Impossible: How to Turn Life's Challenges Into Opportunity

10 Ways Childhood Trauma Impacts our Ability to Love

10 ways that, childhood trauma, can sabotage your love life and relationships. Relationship Coach Riana Milne joins The Transform your Mind podcast to discuss, childhood trauma, and how it impacts our adult life. Riana is the best selling author of “Love Beyond your Dreams” and “From Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success.”

For anyone who have had trouble maintaining healthy relationships, listen to find out if your have any of the, childhood trauma, that can affect your love relationships.

 

How Childhood Trauma affects Adults
How Childhood Trauma affects Adults

IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL LEARN:

How does, childhood trauma, impact adults in life and love?
Riana goes over ten, childhood traumas, and relate them back to how they show up in our lives as an adult.
To get the most out of this topic, Riana advise the listeners to Get a sheet of paper and make three columns.

The first column you put “ME”, the second column you put “Your partner” and the third column you put “Your parents” because research shows, childhood trauma, go through the generations.

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So here are the ten, childhood traumas:

As I speak them remember that when you were child you're very young and innocent all you knew is what mom and dad modeled to you so there’s
nothing to feel guilt or shame about.
I don't want people to say no it didn't happen because they're embarrassed or they feel shame around it.
If it is a fact, if it happened write it down.
It is like putting a puzzle together. Once you know what your, childhood trauma, is and then how it's showing up as a for you as an adult.
As a coach, I can start putting the pieces together and everything starts making a whole lot of sense.

My favorite line is you can't change what you don't understand.

Childhood trauma, #1 addictions

1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there's also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder, spending or gambling, workaholic etc. There's 11 addictive behaviors.

Childhood trauma, #2 Verbal Abuse

2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and yelling at each other? This, Childhood trauma, is typical is yelling screaming but this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like “you'll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.

Childhood trauma, #3 emotional abuse or neglect

3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let's say they came home from school at 3 o'clock and mom if they're in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours.

There's anxiety around that. So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we're out trying to support our kids there home alone.

Childhood trauma, #4 Psychical abuse

4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – This, childhood trauma,  could have happened in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools we're supposed to teach our child another way.

If you're beating them or hitting them you're teaching them to be violent back. We don't want to do that.

Childhood trauma, #5 Abandonment

5. Abandonment – There's two types, childhood trauma, from abandonment. Fault and No Fault abandonment.
Here are three examples, childhood trauma, from no-fault abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24

Here is an example of “Fault” abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.

Childhood trauma, #6 Adoption

6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to live with relatives because mom or dad couldn't take care of you, that even includes Grandma's, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn't want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn't want to go home.

Childhood trauma, #7 personal trauma

7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky. Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.

Childhood trauma, #8 Sibling trauma

8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time. Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I'm worthwhile too.

Childhood trauma, #9 Community trauma

9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years. Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that's all
family trauma and community trauma. Today we can also have, childhood trauma, if we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass shootings in our community.

http://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/

Childhood trauma, #10 Mental Health

10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities. We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma. Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or the repercussions.

I am unlike every other love coach, because I specialize in how the past has harmed you and what you're attracting. We call it same person different face. The repetitive toxic relationships and this happens to my clients who are very successful
in business but they struggle in love. They can't figure out why like I can get the career right,

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Riana is offering a FREE eBook
Get it here:
www.HavetheLoveYouDeserve.com

 

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to the PODCAST so you can get new episodes as they are uploaded. You can listen on, iTunes,  TuneIn radio, iHeart Radio, Stitcher and Spotify.

There’s Nothing “Wrong” with You that Makes Dating So Hard! In Fact, 90% of People Have the Same Challenge when it comes to Love! (And They Don’t Even Know It Exists!)

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Additional Resources:

http://blog.myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-surviving-mothers-abandonment/

4 Ways a Traumatic Childhood Affects Adult Relationships

What happens to us as children can affect the attachment style we carry into our adult relationships. Childhood Trauma, hugely influences attachment. Often people who grew up in happy, healthy, and stable homes where caregivers were emotionally available and responsive to their needs have a secure attachment style. These people don't push partners away or cling too tightly. While they may have troubles in their relationships, an unhealthy attachment style isn't the cause.

The Long Shadow of Childhood Trauma

A new study suggests that stress experienced early in life damages the ability to assess risk, creating young adults with poor decision-making skills.

Can you recognize your failure symptoms?

Are you a, failure? Can you recognize your, failure, symptoms? How often have you said “life is short”?

Well It is! We are here on earth for a limited time to fulfill a purpose. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could go to the doctor and tell him our life symptoms and he would give us a diagnosis of success or, failure? For example if you go to the doctor today with itchy bumps and a fever, he would look at you and without running any tests diagnose you with the chicken pox.

Recognizing your, failure, symptoms early in life before you get to your 5th or 6th decade is the only way to take action to modify your behaviors. As we head into 2015, I would like to offer you the gift of consciousness. Do you have any of the symptoms below? If you do, call me for a free coaching session. Take control of your life and get a step closer to success.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

Here are 5 symptoms of, failure.

1. Sleeping too much is a symptom of, failure.

Do you sleep more than 6 hours per night or day? Thomas Edison took only 2 hour naps on his desk while he was working on his inventions. He didn’t want to sleep because he was so invested in his work. He called sleep a waste of time.

I read Donald Trump’s biography and he said that he hated going to sleep because he was so excited about his business and he didn’t want to miss anything.

Donald Trump credits only sleeping for three or four hours with staying ahead of his competition. “How does somebody who's sleeping 8 and 10 hours a day compete with someone that's sleeping three or four?” he's said.

Political leaders across the globe run their countries on short spurts of shuteye. President Obama has said he can get by on a four-hour doze. Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher ran the U.K. for a decade, on four hours a night.

The saying “the early bird catches the worm” is meant to tell you that rising early is best if you want to catch the opportunities. If you go to bed early and sleep late, that is a, failure symptom, that you will not be successful.

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2. Are you an, Introvert, or an Extrovert

A shy kid might look longingly at other kids playing in the schoolyard, afraid and unsure about how to approach them, but an introvert is perfectly content on her own.
Laurie Helgoe

Introverts, are sometimes called the “walking sleepers”. Introverts, usually allow activity to pass by them without participation, indulge in time killing pursuits, taking only the most minor role or unconstructive parts. Introverts, are also the solitaire players, the pathological bookworms, the endless crossword puzzlers, the couch potatoes. In order to succeed in business or life, you need to have the ability to sell yourself, you need social skills. You don’t have to be the life of the party; but you must be able to be comfortable at the party. Being an, introvert, and sleepwalking through life is a, failure symptom.

3. Are you drinking more than 2 drinks daily?
Drinking heavily brings on a waking sleep. Drinking affects your ability to think straight and handicaps the drinker. You will not be able to contribute fully in staff meetings, argue sensibly, plan or be proactive if you are under the influence of alcohol and thus could become a, failure.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

4. Extreme extroverts

“I always thought I was an extrovert until I became a theatre major. Then I realized I just didn't like silence.”
― Cora Carmack, Losing It

Do you count the day lost if you did not attend a dinner party, go to a movie theater, dancing at a club or hanging out with friends? To be successful you need time alone to plan, to be creative and to ponder your next move.

5. Having no goals could lead to, failure

Dr William Menninger says “a fellow must know where he wants to go, if he is going to get anywhere”

No goals are bad enough but low goals are worst. Is your goal to just keep your job and make just enough money to pay your bills? Is it to live to retirement and then collect social security? Or is it to be the top player in the “candy crush” video game?
The bible says “people without a vision will perish”. Not necessarily physical death, but spiritual death. It is exhilarating to work towards a goal. Happiness is defined as working towards a goal.

“We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on the journey toward the goal we've established for ourselves.”

The great leaders and legends of our time, all had goals, vision, mission and as they achieved one goal, they started on the next.

10 Signs You Are Going To Be A, Failure

  • You love wasting money and expect your parents to foot the bill. …
  • You are not disciplined. …
  • You don't finish what you start. …
  • You love playing the blame game. …
  • You don't believe in yourself. …
  • You don't set goals. …
  • You care too much about what others think. …
  • You don't take care of your health.

Join me for a Free webinar on how to set and achieve clear goals, how to create vision and mission statements, how to motivate your staff to excel and how to create influence.

<a href=”http://blog.myhelps.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/register-now.jpg”>register now

Additional Resources 

10 Tips to Achieve Anything You Want in Life

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-set-strong-goals/

Transform Your Mind Personal Development podcast.

 

How To Turn Your Pain Into Power

Abigail Damoah was wrongly convicted and sent to prison for 12 years. During this dark time in her life, she used inspiration for the bible story of David to find her, life purpose, of helping the women in, prison. She turned her, pain into power, and achieved tremendous personal growth by not seeing herself as a, victim.

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Bio

After serving five years in a Florida state prison for a crime that she didn’t commit, and then two years later being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and undergoing major surgery to remove most of her colon, Abigail learnt one very important life lesson; you will find treasure in the darkest places if you simply change your perspective by turning her, pain into power.

During her, incarceration, Abigail became a Christian and learnt that life isn’t just about her. She was surrounded by women who had endured the most horrific traumatic childhoods and were now being victimized by the very system that was supposed to help them. She found the strength to end her pity party, opening her eyes to the immense suffering of others.

She began to use her gifts to make an impact on the lives of the women she was housed with. It was during the worst season of her life that she experienced true peace, contentment, and fulfilment because she found her life’s purpose, and learned how to turn her, pain into power.  Abigail is the author of ” She is Risen from Destitute to Destiny”

book: She is Risen Turning Pain into Power
book: She is Risen Turning Pain into Power

Using Adversity to turn pain into power

Myrna: All right, so here we have a whole bunch of, adversity. Being sentenced to 12 years in, prison, even if it's for a crime you do commit, it is very traumatic. It is worst when it is a crime that you didn't commit.

Can you share your story, why you were sentenced to 12 years in, prison? I know you said you only served five of those 12 years.  Tell us how you survived that and turned that, pain into power?

Abigail: Okay, so I had my dream to live in America.  I'm from the United Kingdom and after I finished my undergraduate degree. I relocated to Atlanta, Georgia to study and pursue an MBA. I got an internship in Florida. I flew down to Florida and I met a man.  One night he called wanting to go out to a nightclub, and I agreed. He came and picked me up and we made our way to the nightclub and ended up having a car accident where he was killed, and I was seriously injured.

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

My injuries were so extensive that I spent over six weeks in the hospital. My parents at the time decided the best course of action was to take me back to the UK, because there's no way I was going to be able to look after myself in the USA.  I recuperated and got back on my feet. And then in 2011, the state of Florida issued an extradition warrant for my arrest. I was charged with vehicular homicide. The legal definition for that is reckless driving.

So, I was accused of driving in such a dangerous manner that caused death or great bodily harm to another. While I was waiting for the extradition, I began to study the laws surrounding my case and discovered that I should never have been charged with a crime in the first place. The state of Florida had sent over the deposition, the discovery and detail they had a very detailed chronology, of exactly what happened. And one of the things that should have exonerated me from the beginning, was the fact that the road was under reconstruction at the time, so they had taken down all the speed signs.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Extradition to the USA

There were no warning signs that the road was about to change and if you're not familiar with that road, you would not know that you need to slow down. So, when an accident happened, all of a sudden, a curve came up and I hit the curb and the car ended up flipping over and going into a tree. So, based on that alone, I should never have been charged with a crime. But if you know anything about the laws in the United States, you know, sometimes it can be a bit one sided.

I was extradited to America to stand trial. I had a judge who had no legal integrity, because of the way my case had been portrayed in the media. She was determined to make an example out of me. I was found guilty sentenced to 12 years Florida State Prison. After serving 5 years, the case was dismissed.

Myrna: Wow. So sorry to hear what you have been through. I'm assuming you were driving.

Abigail:  Yes, I was driving, it wasn't my car.

Myrna: Yeah, that's what I thought because he came to pick you up.

Abigail: The reason I was driving was because he got so drunk, that he was unable to continue the journey.  I was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

The Pain of prison

Myrna: So sorry for your pain. But the fact that the case was dismissed, I'm assuming that you've cleared your name.

Abigail: Yes, yes. My name is completely cleared. The sentence was vacated, and I was released from, prison.

Myrna: Did you get any money for it?

Abigail: No, absolutely nothing. The state of Florida had laws to protect themselves against wrongful convictions. So, I was knocked out of financial assistance there. But, it was a driving force behind what I do now because I had to start my life from scratch.  I had to use the gifts that I had been given to build a life for myself, and turn my, pain into power.  I didn't have anything. I came back to nothing, but God worked it out for my good.

Going through the tunnel of adversity

Myrna: Well, they say that a lot of times, we must go through the tunnel, we must be beaten down all the way to the bottom, before we find our, purpose.  We all go screaming into it because we really don't want to go through pain, we don’t want to hit rock bottom. I'm in this space where I interview a lot of people and I remember talking to this woman.  Her husband died and she started her coaching practice helping other women handle, grief. She turned her, pain into power, but we all prefer not to go through the pain even if it is the fire starter to our, life purpose.

So how did you manage after also being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and having most of your colon removed?

Abigail: I wasn't raised in a Christian household, but I had a lot of Christian friends. If there's one thing that I learned from them, even while I wasn't a believer, was that they had this ability to see past their circumstances. So, before I even arrived in America, they were already speaking life into my situation. They were already telling me that this was going to work out for my good, something good is gonna come out of this.

And it wasn't until, I became a Christian and I began to read the Bible and I began to apply those principles, that I was strengthened in that area. God gave me a perspective that enabled me to see things through his eyes, he gave me the ability to step outside of myself. I was surrounded by people who are who were suffering, who have been through women the worst heinous things.  My whole perception changed.

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Helping people in prison turn their pain into power

Not only are people dying from much worse situations than I had, but I had to reframe my situation to say, okay, I'm in, prison, now, what can I do while I'm here to make an impact on the lives of the women that I am housed with? How do I turn my, pain into power?

I had a writing gift and there are women that couldn't read or write. I remember the very first time I tapped into that.  There was a woman that I was, bunking in, prison, she had a terrible situation, her children have been taken into DCF custody because of her arrest.

So, I wrote a letter for her. explaining the situation to DCF, speaking in legal terminology. She wanted her children to be put into the custody of her sister while she was in, prison, and lo and behold, that's exactly what happened. Two weeks later, she came to me, I mean, she was in floods of tears. She was so grateful that I took the time to do this for her, and it was at that moment that I realized that what my, purpose, is connected to my gift of writing. Writing was how I was going to turn my, pain into power.

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Figuring out my life purpose

I also realized that my, purpose, had nothing to do with me, it was to enrich the lives of the people that I am surrounded by. So, from that moment, my prayers changed from Lord get me out of here, I can't take this anymore to Lord who are the people in, prison, that you want me to impact?  That started a tsunami of work. My inmates just started coming to get the help they needed.  I started helping them write letters, probation letters, letters to their family, etc. It was one of the most, fulfilling aspects of my time in, prison.

Myrna: Now, how did you take own ownership of your situation? What was your internal dialogue?

Abigail: I dropped the, victim mentality. You know, it's so easy when you're going through a situation whatever it is, it's so easy to point the finger and say is your fault that I'm here, but when you play the, victim, you are not helping anybody. You're not helping yourself and you're not helping anyone else. When I was in the, victim, state I felt so sorry for myself. You know, such an injustice had taken place.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Victims have no power

I was depressed, I was in a place of desolation, I couldn't sleep at night, I had no peace. But the moment I relinquished that, victim mentality, I came to the revelation that it wasn't the state of Florida that put me in, prison, to punish me. I was placed there strategically to be empowered, and then to empower. I was placed there to turn my, pain into power.

So once my, mindset, changed, I was able to say I am going to use this situation to become the best person that I be and to help as many people as I can while I'm in here. That is exactly how I took ownership of my situation. I took the power out the hands in the state of Florida, and turned, my pain into power, because, victims, have no power.

Myrna: This is so true. Victims have no power. In my book, Out of the Snares, A story of Hope and Encouragement, I have a full chapter on, victims.  My story was that I was abused as a child, but I never became a, victim. In fact, what I suggest we become a, player. You know, when you are playing a game of blackjack and the cards that you're dealt with are bad cards?  People use those same bad cards to win, in the same way when you become a, player instead of becoming a, victim, you play with the cards you are dealt.  And that's exactly what you did, you became a, player in the game, you decided that these are the cards that I've been handed, and I am going to make the best of the situation. I am going to turn this, pain into power.

How to become a player and turn pain into power

Myrna: You could have played the “what if game”. What if I didn't go out? What if I didn't agree to drive?  But instead you said it happened. There's no way you can go backwards, all you can do is make the best of the situation that you have right now and use it to help people and learn from it and turn your, pain into power.

What is the lesson that that that you took out of that? Were you able to equate it to a, Bible story? I want to talk about Joseph who was thrown in, prison, and it was strategic to God’s plan for him.  And I am also thinking of a Job which is the chapter reading now in the Bible and all the bad things that happened to him.

Job declared God does only do good things for you. God does good things, and he does bad things.

Abigail: Joseph was one of my favorite stories in the Bible. And it wasn't until I got to that Genesis chapter 37, where Joseph was put in, prison, that I found strength in my situation. Prison, shaped Joseph into the man that God needed him to be. I knew that my time in, prison, was in God's hands, just based on that story alone. I learned a lot from Joseph and his, mindset, during that time. He refused to be a, victim, he used his time to assist other people. He was looking for others to help while he was, incarcerated, and it opened the door to his freedom.

Myrna: Yes, exactly helping people got him introduced to the king.

Transform your mind PTWWN TV
PTWWN TV – How to Trun Your pain into power 

Using dreams and visions for your purpose

Abigail: That was a very powerful story for me, and I used that, bible story, to empower myself.  So my God has given me dreams and visions, and I knew that, okay, I'm not living the dream and the vision now, but it is this situation here that is going to lead me to the destiny that God has for me and I had to remind myself of that daily.

Myrna: That's amazing, I am loving our conversation.  One of my personal mantras is that just like an airplane needs resistance to take off the ground, we need resistance to move up our next level. And whenever I have resistance in my life, when I was working full time when I received resistance eg. one door closed or something, I always knew that resistance was supposed to push me forward and up. The door closing from being fired got me into, Life coaching, helping women to, transform their mind.

A lot of women, especially minority women live in the, wilderness, and in order for them to get out of the, wilderness, they have to change their, mindset.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

She is Risen from Destitute to Destiny

Tell us about your book, your book is called “She Is Risen from Destitute To Destiny.” Why did you write it? And what do you want people to walk away with?

Abigail: I wrote the book because I knew that I had a story to tell number one, and it wasn't a story of the tragedies, but stories of, empowerment. The book a memoir, going back to my childhood, I packed a lot of things and I think that's very important that you need to go back to, to know why things are the way they were. So, I went through that process in the book, I had a very turbulent teenage years, connected to childhood. But despite those challenges, I still managed to make something all my life, and it didn't come easily, or immediately at all.

It was a very, very difficult situation and a very, very difficult process. And I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but what I do know is that you can, turn your pain into power, if you change your perspective on a situation.  I could have not written this book. I could have so easily come out of, prison, and just felt sorry for myself, and accept government assistance and nobody would have blamed me

Teaching others how to overcome adversity

So, I had to look at the situation and ask myself what have I learned from this? And not only what have I learnt from it, but now what can I do about it? I decided I can teach other people about how to overcome, adversity.  One of the things that helped me while I was, incarcerated, were the different, prison ministries. People would share these terrible stories, but they got through it, and that’s something that inspired me.

Myrna: Well, that's the reason I asked you if you're going into the, prison, and doing, prison ministry, because I know your story is powerful. Now you are on the radio, podcast and PTWWN TV, sharing your story, not only the people that are in, prison, is going to hear this, but people all over the world. Your story doesn’t just speak to someone in, prison, but speaks to any women in the, wilderness, the, wilderness, can be any dry place.

Additional Resources

Does Serving a Prison Sentence Affect Change?

 

 

A New Mindset: Get Rid Of Your Cup Mentality 

Do you have a, cup mentality, mindset? Are you asking God to fill up your cup instead of asking him to fill up as many containers you can find? In the, Bible story, Elisha the prophet told the widow woman to borrow containers and keep pouring oil until they were all filled. Find out how to get rid of your, cup mentality, and your, abundance blocks, and live an abundant life.

 Welcome to this week’s episode of, 5 mins with coach Myrna.  In this coaching session, I want to teach on, mindset, getting rid of your, cup mentality.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9970925-a-new-mindset-get-rid-of-your-cup-mentality.mp3?download=true

What is a cup mentality?

Here is a bible story to illustrate.

One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon. Now a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God.

Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

 Cup mentality vs abundance mindset 

This story illustrates a, cup mentality, because too many of us are content with our lot in life and never aspire or dream of a better life. This crippled man was stuck in his old routine of getting someone to take him to the gate of the temple every day to beg for coins. He never dreamed of more, he never prayed to be healed even though he went to the temple every day.  He accepted that he was crippled and for the rest of his life he would beg for coins to survive. This is the definition of a, cup mentality. Your dreams can only fill up a cup.

 The crippled man could not understand when Peter told him to get up and walk.  He had never thought of walking. Peter was putting new information in this man’s, old wineskin.  Peter had to hold his hand and help him up.

A, cup mentality, is when we accept our circumstances and never dream of having more. You get stuck in a rut in your negative routines not expecting anything to change, but as long as you have a, cup mentality, you will never receive the abundance of God.

Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

Like mother like daughter

For example please use the phrase, like mother like daughter, or like, father like son. They are expecting you to be like your mother and because they spoke it over your life, you become like your mother.

I heard a story of a mother who left her baby with her parents, because she was a hitwoman and she believed that if she got arrested she would be sent away for life.  When the child was 3 years old, the mother was sent away for life. The grandparents raised the child and always told her don’t be like your mother. She grew up with that, cup mentality, that she could never expect anything great, because she would probably end up in prison.  At 16 years she stabbed someone and ended up in prison.

Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Were you born the wrong color?

Some other examples of a, cup mentality.

  • Do you think you were born in the wrong country?
  • The wrong side of the tracks,
  • or the wrong color?
  • Are you content just surviving?

The Bible teaches that You can’t put, new wine, in, old wineskin, because the, new wine, will burst the, old wineskin. This means you can’t do new things like be the first one in your family to graduate college with the same old, mindset.

I was born poor in a third world country. I was listening to podcast a few weeks back regarding, abundance blocks. The author was saying that we manifest the same, abundance blocks, as our parents, so I decided to interview my mom to see if she passed on her, abundance blocks, to me. What I found is my mom has a, cup mentality.

She told me that we were poor when I was born, she didn’t have a job, but she was quite comfortable. My dad would give her money, people would bring her food from the market, and she had her mother to help her. She never asked for more, she never dreamed big. Luckily, I did not get her, cup mentality.  I have always dreamed of success even as a child as young as 10 years old!

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

If doesn't matter where your start out only where you end up

God took David from a low-income family and made him a King. It does not matter where you start out only where you end up.

A, limited mindset, will keep you from getting more from God.

God promises to pour out blessings you won’t have room enough to receive; he is not looking just to fill up your cup.

Don’t water down your dreams to match your environment.

Take the limits off of God and the limits off your life.

You are the lid!

The prophet Elisha told the Widow woman to borrow a few containers and to pour the little oil she had into these containers. She obeyed even though it was not logical. She started pouring and the oil continued to pour until she had filled up all the containers she borrowed and then it stopped. If she had more containers, the oil would have continued to pour, so she did not have a supply problem, but a capacity problem.

God wants to fill up your containers, he can’t fill up what you never bring to him. How do you bring your containers to God? You bring them to him by asking for what you want in prayer, by dreaming big and visualizing your dreams.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

 The cup mentality is your capacity

In a previous episode called Finding joy in your nothingness. I talked about the oil, that it represented the joy in your life. Today I am talking about your capacity to experience that joy. Are you looking for a cup full of joy like my mom or as many containers you can fill?

God said open your mouth wide and I will fill it.

Get rid of your, cup mentality, and give God as many containers as possible so he can fill them up.

This is coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to, 5 mins with coach Myrna.  I would like to invite you all to join my Life coach group on Facebook for daily inspiration from dozens of life coaches.

Thanks for listening, until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

 

How To Use Storytelling To Build Your Brand

I had this insight to bring, storytelling, that I did in the entertainment business, to champion people and make them better at building their brand and own their voice.

Today I interview Audrey Cavenecia, the Co-producer and co-host for the Amplify Voices podcast, alongside NFL coach Pete Carroll and host of the “Unlikely podcast” on leadership. A talented, storyteller, and visionary Audrey has decades of experience in, leadership development, entertainment production, and content marketing with a focus on championing humanity in all people.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9928032-how-to-free-yourself-from-the-imposter-syndrome.mp3?download=true

Bio

Audrey Cavenecia is the Co-producer and co-host for the Amplify Voices podcast, alongside NFL coach Pete Carroll and host of the “Unlikely podcast” on leadership. A talented storyteller and visionary Audrey has decades of experience in leadership development, entertainment production, and content marketing with a focus on championing humanity in all people.

She has worked alongside some of the most influential leaders in the world—including speaker and author Tony Robbins and Oracle founder Larry Ellison—to develop and empower new visionaries through stories and insights around authentic human connection. No matter the sector, she continues to build bridges between what is and what can be, with, storytelling, as the scaffolding.

Audrey's back story

Myrna: I know you are an expert, storyteller, what’s your story?

Audrey: Well, you know, it’s interesting because I grew up, I was born in Oakland, California and grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. My parents were pretty much the extreme polar opposites in every sense of the word, my mother is white. And when I say white, I mean white, like blond hair, blue eyes, can't even tan, white from Germany.

She came here to the US when she was about 12. My father is African Latin from South America. He had dark skin, kinky hair, all the features as a black man. So, think of this mixture of German culture and African Latin culture and your get total polar opposites in so many ways.  They meet in church and five children later; we each have a roll of the dice of that race of that mixture of all of that.

So, I think we started out, especially for myself, started out very early, being forced almost to be an observer of society. Because I didn't have my, my tribe. I couldn't point at somebody and be like, oh, you're exactly like me. I couldn't find the Mexican culture and fit in with them. Every single person was like, No, you're a little bit different. You're a little bit on the outside, and maybe it wasn't even them maybe it was just me.

And my own perception of where do I fit when I come from these two narratives that are so different. And then I live inside of my own Americanization while still being pulled into both of their cultures, different languages in the household and all that.

Most of those movies we watched were white people. My dad comes to the United States and marries a white woman.  So, it's another layer for me to look at and be like, Oh, what am I not beautiful? Because my father didn't even marry somebody who looked like me. What does that say about me? My parents owned their own business, like a lot of people that come from other countries. And so my first foray into just self-expression was, storytelling, and finding myself in the theater, because I thought, in that place, I can pretend with, storytelling, because I have no home, I have no tribe, and I can be anything.

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iHeart Radio
Introduction to leadership development

Myrna: I am sure you had problems there as well, not being black enough for certain roles, and not white enough for others.

Audrey: That's right. And but I did have some extraordinary experiences. I toured with the work inside of the African Repertory Theater, and Berkeley toured with plays with individuals was on the Wayans brothers show. So, I had a great time being inside of, storytelling, and that was my lead into, leadership.

So, I went to the, leadership development, in my 20s, I went to the, leadership development, course and there was something about it, it had the beauty of theatrics of being onstage.  It had that spiritual kind of nature of going to church and that physiological kind of feeling that you have in your chest and in your heart when everything opens up that is where, storytelling, is born. I fell in love with, storytelling, as a, leadership development, tool.

I threw myself into it. I dedicated all my time to, leadership. I was single mom at that time as well. And so, I rose through the ranks, I became a really successful leader in that regard and then one woman said something to me.  She said, Okay, great, so what?  You can be a superstar, but can you create other superstars?

I thought to myself, why isn't the whole point of competition to be the best, why would I want to develop people to be better than me?  But it really stirred something in my heart and in my soul. It spoke to something that was way down deep there which was being a champion for humanity.

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Storytelling in leadership

Audrey: And now I threw myself into understanding the art of, storytelling, in, training and development. I wanted to do everything possible to help people that have failed.  The people that no one can turn around, the people that have given everything and couldn't find themselves. I trained the shy people introverts the art of, storytelling.

I want to pull all of them up and make them the best, storytellers, in front of crowds. I want to make them the best public speakers. I did just that and that's when people like Tony Robbins and all those others in the, leadership development, space started searching me out and having me work with their, intellectual property.

And then I had this insight and I listened to my heart and my mind, and it said, now bring those two things together, bring, storytelling, that you did in the entertainment business, and bring this, storytelling techniques, to champion people and make them better at their own purpose and voice. Bring them together. Storytelling, and leadership development, is something unique. I opened my own agency, and it took off from there.

I've worked with some of the biggest names out there, I not only champion them and rise them up and help curate and formulate their voice and their audience, all of that, but I combine, storytelling, with their actual content. So now I'm in publishing. I have this media company with Pete Carroll, and we're pulling in people right and left.  Our company it's called “Amplify Voices” for a reason. We're going into the margins of, leadership, with, storytelling. We need to expand what, leadership, is.

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What does leadership look like
  • what does it looks like,
  • what size it is,
  • what color it is,
  • what its hair looks like,
  • what his nose looks like,
  • what his what his voice sounds like,
  • where it lives,
  • what it does,
  • its temperament,
  • its emotions, all of that.

We need this more expansive view of, leadership, because there's so much to accomplish in this world.

Myrna: Beautiful, wow. So beautiful. I love how you found your voice through, storytelling,  and entertaining in theater and, and now you're helping people to tell their story through, storytelling.  I love what your definition of what a leader looks like, smells like, tastes like etc.

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Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Amplifying voices of the Black community

Audrey: For Amplify Voices, the voices we're focusing now are on podcasts, podcasting. So, I'm on finding particular people out there that have a voice.  We're looking for voices that are timely, that are important. Like for instance, Reza Metacam, is a writer of grandmother's hands African American male, who specializes in, body trauma.

We're asking people to be together;

  • Leaders are asking people to work on their divisiveness,
  • Some are asking people to work in their business environment,
  • Everyone is asking them to be great parents, but we have not confronted the trauma that lives in their bodies, especially black bodies. Black bodies are not the only ones who've experienced trauma, white bodies have trauma as well.  Before black people were enslaved, they were enslaving white people, it's in our history.

And so, our bodies have this pain, this fear of one another.  You look in the world right now we feel resonance, such an important voice. So, what we do is we find people that that are out there speaking when they have a book or they're a public speaker, or they're doing workshops with businesses, or a community leader or something.  I approached them, I have dialogue with them and if I feel there's a real sense of synergy, there is collaboration.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

At Amplified Voices, we take them over and start developing their content.  We become a support for them, not only in the production process and the postproduction process, but also helping them in shaping their brand through, storytelling, and marketing. We take them through those ranks and then when they get to a certain point, get them right in front of the right people for their book deal, or television show or whatever else becomes the natural progression. There'll also be projects that they'll do independently on their own by nature of this collaboration and some things we'll do together.

Developing authentic human connections

Myrna: Awesome, this is how can we empower, leaders, basic, human connections. We talked a little bit about, storytelling, and what, leadership, looks like.  What is an, authentic human connection? I know that, human connection, is connecting with someone, But I think you probably have a broader definition of it.

Audrey: Actually, I've got a simpler definition for, authentic human connection. It's not actually quite broad. It has depth, but it's quite simple. The very myopic interpretation and narrative we've had around, leadership, and, authentic human connections, is this “sharing yourself.” If you share yourself that is where the magic happens.  Just think of the last three days of your work lives, maybe even your relationships, maybe even with your children. Are there moments where you wanted to say something, and you didn't?  Where you felt like you wanted to reveal something, and you didn't?

Did you want to ask for help or support and you didn’t?  You didn't because of your pride, or shame, or because of the way you were raised.  We do not have the freedom to express ourselves.  As, leaders, we can't tell people “I don't know how to meet payroll at the end of the week”  Leaders, can't tell people “I have an eating disorder, I may be drinking too much because of the stress and the pressure” But it truly is accurate statement to say “bitch this will set you free” Getting rid of the, imposter syndrome, and establishing, authentic human connections,  won't just set you free, It will actually allow people to grow inside your, leadership.  It is the greatest possible thing that you can do.

Myrna: One of the things that people love about Gary Vaynerchuck is that he's very transparent. He made, Storytelling, and, transparency, necessary for all leaders. Transparency is one of the ways to develop, authentic human connections, because you are sharing yourself and letting others see your pain.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index
How does Diversity and Inclusion affect Leadership

Audrey: Harvard has done studies behind, diversity and inclusion, this is not a moral compass conversation. This is an economic conversation because we are talking about business.  I know everybody gets like, yeah, we know we need, more Black people.  I'm not talking about a moral compass. What I'm saying is, look, in the world, there are 6.5 billion people, do you think all those people only like white things? They think all those people only want to hear from aggressive, outspoken, black people. Diversity, makes economic sense.

Well, here's the thing. It's the pretend part. That's so damaging. Because you can't pretend, unless I'm hiring you to be an actor and film. There's really nothing beneficial about pretending. Pretending doesn't get you to the other side. Pretending doesn't get you help from the team, pretending doesn't give you an opportunity to experience failure and learn from it.

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Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV
Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV
Conclusion

Myrna: How can people connect with you on social media and listen to your podcasts?

Audrey:  Okay, well it's very easy to find us at www.amplifyvoices.io. You'll find everything there. Find me all our podcasts on our website and our social media handles. We just won a prestigious award so we're very happy that people have received it so well.

Additional Resources

How to Develop Emotional Resilience At Work

 

 

 

The Wolf That Wins Is The One You Feed

Which, wolf, are you feeding? The one that wins is the one you feed.  The one you choose to feed will define who you are.  We all know we should feed the, good wolf, even if it’s harder. Feeding the, good wolf, is how we end up feeling a sense of accomplishment and success at the end of the day.

In this week’s episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to teach on the topic, Which Wolf are you feeding?

Download the Podcast Here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9928057-the-wolf-that-wins-is-the-one-you-feed.mp3?download=true

Let me share with you an ancient story: Which Wolf Are You feeding?

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” The one you feed.

This story depicts the battle for your mind.

There is a war going on in your mind

Every choice we make is a battle between the two wolves in our head.

These two wolves are competing for supremacy. The one who wins is the one you feed.

How do we feed these wolves?

  • We feed them by what we read,
  • What we focus our time and attention on
  • Who we spend time with.
Transform Your Mind Podcastland
Transform Your Mind Podcastland

Feeding the patient wolf

Think of a dripping faucet. Most of us don’t have the patience to wait for the drips to fill our cup. We want to turn on the tap at full blast and have our cup full up in seconds, but our goals are like the dripping faucet, we make small steps towards them and we must have the staying power to watch the drips fill the cup.

This also builds mental toughness because of delayed gratification.

If you don’t conquer the mind, it becomes your enemy. If you feed the, evil wolf, then you make the mind your enemy.

The definition of an enemy is one who is opposed or hostile to something or a thing that weakens or harms you.

Feeding your anger, fear, greed ego, envy, insecurities and jealousy with negative thoughts and emotions harms and weakens you. The negative emotions  gets stronger while the positive qualities gets weaker and weaker.

Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

How to feed the good wolf

Start feeding the, good wolf, that represents love, compassion, humility, patience, peace and harmony. You conquer the mind by staying the course, by watching the faucet drip and having faith that the cup will eventually fill up.

Another way to conquer the mind  is by talking back to it out loud.

For example.. If the voice  in your head is telling you that you always quit and that you will never get your degree reply out loud “just watch me. I will finish this class no Devil in hell is going to prevent me from getting my degree. Get behind me Satan.”

Do not feed the one  that presents fear and insecurity, remember that fear is false evidence appearing real.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

The courage wolf

The best way to feed the, good wolf, is to program the conscious mind. This builds the, courage wolf.

One of the ways to do this is start talking back to the negative self-talk with positive affirmations.

If the, inferiority wolf, tells you that you no man will love you because you are not educated, talk back to it with your voice and say “I will find happiness and love because I am love, I have a lot to offer a man, I don’t need an education, any man would be blessed to have me. The next man who comes my way will be exactly what I prayed for.  He will be kind and generous and love me like I deserve to be loved.”  That is how you feed to,  faith wolf!

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Download on Spotify

Feeding the evil wolf

One truth to remember is that it’s so much easier to feed the bad wolf.  The, evil wolf, is is easy to get angry,  complain, feel resentful, dismiss or ignore others, and feel superior.

There is almost no effort required to do those things, and you’re getting the reward with the sensation of relieving and instant gratification without much an action.

The, good wolf, is very different; it’s picky, it’s harder to feed. It’s challenging, tiring and time-consuming to do things like learning, teaching, inspiring, sharing or simply sticking to a new behavior. These things take so much energy, effort, momentum, and guts. And you don’t usually see immediate results from them.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna I hope you were encouraged today and that you stay in joy peace and harmony so the, evil wolf, would never get you.

Additional Resources

Finding Joy In Your Nothingness