Category Archives: Life Coaching

Life Coaching, Life Coaching Blog, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, weight loss

How to Use Your Words To Change Eating Habits

October 12, 2021 Myrna Young

The, words, that I used all the time was “I shouldn't have eaten that”. Then I always pray to God for help to stop me from, binge eating. I didn't want to, eat, all of that food, so I became like almost obsessive about, dieting, and my, relationship with food.

My guest today is Isabel Chiara.

This post is about transforming self-destructive eating behaviors with self-compassionate dialogue.

Listen to the full interview here:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/episodes/9356698

Introduction Eat Your Words

Isabel’s new book EAT YOUR WORDS is not the typical, self-help diet book, Instead, Isabel’s approach is a more narrative, semi-autobiographical exploration of the sensual-and-painful relationship to food so many of us can’t escape. The book expertly coaches from life lessons and experiences of the uber-relatable curvaceous girl entry into womanhood. Her hearty Italian appetite make for a complex-carb tale about the depth of our relationship with self-nourishment.

Myrna: Isabel, can you share with our listeners your own journey through, body shaming, and self-discovery?

Isabel: Of course. In my own journey, food, eating and, dieting, has always been a big point of contention my whole life. It was through this non-acceptable way that I eat and always focus on the food. I always guilty after eating, like I shouldn't have eaten it.

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Your Words are important

I started using, words, like there's a certain way to, eat, there's a certain way to be with food, and, diet. Each day I try to do it, there was always a new, diet. That is what has been the journey of my life. It's been a journey of the kind of needs to come to terms with on some level and I think the, body shaming, was me telling myself my body is this way because I ate all that food.

Many times in my book, my main character, I say she's walking around with no head. This is to highlight that sometimes we are disconnected our head from our body. It’s a very common feeling or a life existence that is happening on some level. It’s kind of introspection book on the whole journey of the, body shaming, and coming to terms with the body, mind and spirit on some level.

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Eat Your Words: Stop the negative self talk

Myrna: How did you transition from walking around kind of discombobulated – which is a word where you're not connected and then you got to the point where you're going to, eat your words, because you're not going to be telling yourself these negative things about food. What was your transition? Did you go to a Therapist?

Isabel: There have been a million people involved in this process, because you're always a person with focus and you're always trying to come up with a resolution to stop, self destructive eating. It's almost like I became a researcher. It was really a journey of finding what was really in my own soul, what was I really like?

What's up with me?
What's bothering me?
What's the pain about?
What am I trying to stuff down with food?

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The Mind Body Connection to Dieting

If your body and mind are disconnected, you can't even figure out what your, words, are saying to you. I saying to myself on a daily basis, a lot of negative, words, about myself and my body. I saying these, words, to myself before I, eat, and after I, eat.

What happens is when you take yourself to task on some level, when you start to really become conscious, you notice your, words. First thing I became conscious was I knew I needed to be in my body. Because when you are out of your body you eat unconsciously. For different people, it's different things. I started to work out because I needed to feel my body and I was out of it.

The other thing was, as long as you're feeling your body, then you get to hear your, words, and what you're saying to yourself. So, the, words, started to become more conscious. What I have realized lately is that to be out of your body, you have to be really busy with things. If you're busy, then you also have those, words, that are saying – oh! I'm so busy, I didn't, eat, all day long and I'm starving. Now, I have a permission to just, eat, whatever I want, wherever I want and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter which is what we say to ourselves.

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Self destructive Eating

Myrna: Where did your, self destructive eating, habits come from? I know you mentioned that you're Italian and, Italian food, has a lot of carbs and pastas and things like that. Is that where your, eating habits, came from?

Isabel: Yes, except for Italians are for the most part are thin! I mean I'm in the restaurant business. I started my whole life in a family restaurant business, so my focus in life became food. At an early age, when we made food, we made huge meals. I never knew what a, portion size, was like. I never used the, words, portion size, until I was in my 30s and 40s!

I would go to my friend's homes and they would have like a bit of rice, or a bit of meat. I was like confused when I was younger, because that was never what happened at our house. I understand now the, portion size, mentality that really showed up in my whole scope of thought. My whole thought pattern shifted.

I was no longer eating like I was at an you can eat buffet. My, eating habits, as a child made me end up with this buffet mentality.

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Coping with Words and Body Shaming

Myrna: At some point in time, you developed, body shame. You took me through your self-discovery, how did you use your, words, to stop, body shaming and accepting that you are a curvaceous girl?

Isabel: Body shaming, comes when you start a comparison with other people who are a certain size. You see people in a certain way and then you start looking at yourself as different. Each time you talk to people, you're like wait, why don't I look like you? But it doesn't matter because we already internalized that there's something wrong with us.

Whatever we look like, we want to be someone else. People start to say oh, for a little girly you're eating a lot. Then you start to make a correlation with; I'm eating a lot, there's weight here and there's something wrong with what's happening in me. I'm not okay and that’s how one starts to develop, body shame.

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Self destructive binge eating

Myrna: Why do you think we purposely distract ourselves when making food choices to the detriment of our health and, binge eating?

Isabel: I'm not a psychologist, I just know. I've been looking at this behavior for a long time. What I think is that we distract ourselves because we don't want to feel the things that is going on in our life. I think a lot of times, when we do choose, binge eating, we are actually eating food as a distraction.

Maybe the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing kind of thing. A lot of times, we start to, eat, because we start to feel something's coming up. It doesn't matter what it is, it could be happy, it could be sad, it could be like anger and/or even bored. I, eat, when I'm bored.

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Notice what going on in your body before you eat that food

When there's nothing going on, there's still something going on in your body. If there's something going on your body, but you're not present to it or you don't want to know what it is or what for every reason, you're not used to it. I think a lot of times people don't recognize their feelings or they judge their feelings.

I'm a night time eater. I could do all day long with no food (because every emotion from the day maybe was just piled up), but at night, I'm like a wreck for that. Not for nighttime or for that one time and it's all starting to come up and then we're like let's just go for it and we start, binge eating.

Myrna: Yes, that has been my biggest struggle for a long period of time. I couldn't stop eating at night. It's a little under control now, but that was my biggest struggle for a while.

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Diet and Nutrition

Isabel: I decided to lose the word, diet. I decided to do something different for myself which eventually added more nourishment and nutrition to my day. I first started with being in my body, and then I used my, words, to say let me give myself food instead of saying, I'm going to take away food and I'm not going to eat this.

I started giving myself different foods, I allowed myself to have more nutritious foods and I started creating a new mindset. This new mindset was alright. I was totally resistant to this, but I started finding a place that had green drinks. I could have green drinks which took the edge off of hunger and it made me feel in my body. So, instead of going into the business of my whole day, I'm going to add a green drink. Just one thing, I added nutrition instead of taking something away, I was going to give myself things.

If someone once likes eating at night, instead of having the bad things we want to, eat, at night you and what would you give what did you give yourself to replace that because a green drink. Just starting to give yourself other more nutritional things maybe you want to give yourself more vegetables than that and rice.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Using Your Words to Change your Mindset

Myrna: How can those of us struggling with, weight gain, and a pure relationship to food face the issue head-on?

Isabel: The first thing I say is to, change your mindset. Start creating an intention for yourself and start creating a, mindset, that you're in the middle of the process. I always like to say we're always in the middle of the process and that we are shifting. We're always shifting and we're always changing, even though it looks really bad – it always looks really bad before it gets really good. We're going to start to use the right, words.

Myrna: Tell us about your book “Eat Your Words”, why you wrote it and what do you want someone that's reading it to walk away with?

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Book: Eat your Words

Isabel: The book was a way to be conscious for myself like it really was. I wrote it for myself like a journal. I was really writing a book, but it was the stories of my life. So the goal was for me to get to some kind of resolution in my life. The stories are for people to really understand that they're not struggling in this arena by themselves. This is really to bring the behaviors to consciousness and to show anybody that he/she is not the only one going through this. I mean most of the world is going through this on some level.

Now you become conscious of what the, words, are and how they affected our behaviors and through that, there is healing that can be done when you see something that somebody else is doing and you hear what their process is. I bring up a lot of processes.

Myrna: Where does the, “Eat Your Words,” come from? I'm assuming it's internal dialogue.

Isabel: “Eat Your Words,” is internal dialogue and it starts at the origins of the family.

Myrna: It's all about inner dialogue? But the inner dialogue as you can imagine is kind of runs your life and it could be conscious or unconscious.

Isabel: It wasn't so sometimes.

Myrna: It's unconscious right?

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Isabel: It was the, words, that I would say, as my mantra was, oh I don't care. The biggest, words, were “oh I don't care”. However, once you start saying I don't care, it doesn't just apply to what you are eating. It really becomes what you start to say to yourself, the, words, you use.

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Oh I don't care about myself
So I don't care what I put in my body.
Anyway I don't care what becomes of my life.

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Conclusion

Myrna: How can readers connect with you and get a copy of your book?

Isabel: If anyone wants to get the first chapter of my book, just to see if they like it or if it works for them, they can go to https://isabel-chiara.com, on that page, they could download the first chapter for free or they could just buy the book on Amazon.

We also have a membership site called Healing and Activation Process Integrations. Happy place is what I call it. It's going to be a lot of processes that are going to help people to get inside of themselves. It can move things and look at things differently and channel them differently.

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Additional Resources

How Ketogenic Diet Helps Reverse Diabetes

Life Coaching, Life Coaching Blog, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, weight loss

How to Maintain Sustainable Weight Loss

October 4, 2021 Myrna Young

Weight loss, and related challenges is not about, nutrition, but are projections of deeper rooted emotional and psychological challenges.

PAUL SALTER is a Registered Dietitian, Coach, Author, and, Sustainable Weight Loss, Expert, believes that, weight loss, and it's related challenges, aren’t related to lack of nutrition or knowledge; but are actually projections of deeper rooted emotional and psychological challenges. We won’t be able to confidently maintain, weight loss, until those challenges are acknowledged and overcome. His passion is helping men and women just like you re-frame their thoughts and reshape their behaviors so that they can transform their relationship with food and dieting, and finally, lose weight, once and for all.

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In this audio and blog, we're going to be discussing how to guarantee a successful, weight loss, how to lose weight, and keep it off.

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Myrna: What’s your story? You look pretty lean and fit. Did you have a problem with, weight loss, at one point and how did you become a, sustainable weight loss, expert?

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Paul: Yes, I appreciate the kind of words. I have quite an interesting and diverse journey. For me, it started off with a late growth spurt. What I mean by that is at 16 years old, as a multi-sport athlete, I was about 5 foot 1 and 110 pounds.

Paul's Story: Becoming a Weight Loss Expert

As you can imagine it was quite challenging to keep up with all of my peers who were bigger, stronger and faster than me. It finally clicked one day, and I don't know why. I like to give my mother all the credit for what I was eating and putting into my body. This, nutrition, enabled me to perform better during sport practices and competition. I was able to keep up with everyone despite the size disadvantage that they had. I took that nugget of knowledge with me and carried it into College, where I shared my new found love for exercise, weight lifting, and, nutrition, with friends.

Quickly I realized that my peer group was turning to me more often than not for advice related to, nutrition, and, weight lifting. It finally dawned on me that maybe I could get paid to just talk about, nutrition, and, weight lifting, all day. That was how I began to study for my, personal training, certification. I still remember to this day exactly where I was reading and I believe it was chapter 23 of the big exam book, it was called, sports nutrition.

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Using Sports Nutrition for Weight Loss

That was my light bulb or the moment that I finally realized there are actually people out there who are helping others or helping even athletes pay attention to what they're eating and when they're eating, so that they can feel look and perform at their very best.

The very next week, I went into my supervisor (counselor's office) declared my major in, dietetics, and then went down the path of studying, nutrition. I really wanted to get into, sports nutrition. At the time there were only seven, sports dietitians, in the whole nation. Crazy to think about right? So, it was definitely a very new area of focus, but I was fortunate enough to be proactive and a bit aggressive.

If you will put my resume everywhere to meet the right people to lead me through a path as a, sports nutrition, expert. I spent time in a hospital as a, dietician, I knew that wasn't for me, but that was part of a, dietitian, training so I had to do it. I also spent a lot of time doing competitive body building as I went through this journey of self-discovery.

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This is where I started to really understand the holistic, specifically the emotional and psychological impact that, dieting, has on people. When we finish a, diet, trying to return, I guess to a sense of normalcy is a lot easier said than done. This revelation birthed if you will a passion for helping people, maintain weight loss .

How to Lose Weight: The Definition of Diet

Myrna: Alright, so let's transition to our topic for today. As I said, we're going to be focusing a lot on, diet, and, nutrition.

What is the, definition of diet? I know it fluctuates How does the, definition of diet, affect us, maintain weight loss?

I ask the question because, diet, is the number one influencing factor that people can't maintain, weight loss. They go on a, diet, and six months later, they're back to the same weight or even sometimes they gain more. What's that about?

Paul: I think there's two major driving forces behind this occurrence. The first one fits right into the, definition of diet. It's a perfect opportunity to talk about this because there are actually two definitions to the word, “diet”.

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Diet – Eating fewer calories to Lose Weight

There's one that we are all so familiar with – which is intentionally eating fewer calories to, lose weight. That's the one that the, weight loss, industry promotes very heavily and tries, for lack of better words to brainwash us with.

The second definition is simply “a habitual way of eating, “and the best example I like to describe to illustrate that definition difference is a vegetarian or someone who follows a, plant-based diet, doesn't necessarily mean that said person is eating to try to, lose weight.

What that, diet, encompasses is a lifestyle, a foundation of healthy behaviors in a healthy relationship related to our food choices. Where we all go wrong as a whole population, is we focus on the former definition only (i.e. intentionally eating to, lose weight)

What happens as a result of focusing on the wrong definition, is we develop a very short-term focus. Where things go wrong is we commit ourselves to:

30-day cleanse,
90-day transformation
a 12-week this and that.
We never have a plan for day 31, day 92 etc. It's kind of like, oh crap what do I do now? I just made all these massive changes for the short term because I was really committed, motivated and exciting.

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Dieting to Lose Weight is a Major Stressor on the Body

After you complete your 30 day cleanse or your 90 day transformation, motivation has now waned, excitement has now waned and now you realize you do not have a foundation of healthy eating habits to fall back upon. So you fall back on your past lifestyle and then the weight comes back.

Myrna: Okay, you're saying that the, weight, comes back because they eat and fall back on their bad food choices, but I've been told or read that a lot of times, people gain the weight back because they changed their metabolism. The lowered their, metabolic rate, from, dieting. Can you talk on that?

Paul: One of the biggest things that we have to remember is that, dieting, is a major psychological and emotional stressor. Your body wants nothing more than to bring you out of that, diet. What happens when we begin eating fewer calories to initiate, weight loss, our body starts to enter this protective mode. It begins to hoard food and anytime we get excess calories it holds onto them for dear life, and store them to protect itself from future stress of starvation.

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How Dieting affects your Metabolic Rate

What happens is when we begin, dieting, our body wants to conserve energy and the way this manifests is simply our, metabolic rate, or the number of calories we burn per day begins to slowly decline. What also happens is there are hormonal changes that actually make you hungrier and less likely to want to stay on track with your plan. Our cravings increase. Our body is almost like a professional kick boxer, it's going to punch and kick from any angle to fight, to get you out of that calorie deficit and you have to be prepared to handle the punches.

The kicks maybe head butts. The occasional elbow who knows what? That's basically why you gain back the, weight loss, faster because you're changing your cylinder structure.

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The #1 Reason Diets fail

Myrna: Would you say that's the number one mistake that people make that leads to regaining the, weight loss?

Paul: The #1 reason, why diets fail, is this. I think it's important to note, diet, to really initiate, weight loss, you have to be in a calorie deficit or there has to be some form of calorie restriction. . It's literally an essential step, but what happens is, the harsher your, calorie restriction, or the longer your restriction, your body is so dynamic and adapts quickly.

Let me give a numerical example to help. Let's say somebody's eating 2000 calories per day, they decide they want to lose weight and they slowly drop their calories to 1600 or 1200, maybe even a 1000. People get too excited and make such harsh changes in their, calorie restriction, that their body adapts so quickly and then when they get to day 91 for example, and they just return to their old eating habits now, they've been accustomed to eating a thousand calories per day.

They go right up to 2000 calories or even more. Like I mentioned earlier, their body just wants to hold on to all of those excess calories to protect them and there comes the, weight gain. That's the number one reason, why diets fail, harshly restricting calories.

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The proper way to Lose Weight

Myrna: Do you have another suggestion on the proper way to, lose weight?

Paul: Absolutely. The two points to keep in mind, the first is you want to try to, lose weight, eating as many calories as possible. Let me explain, I know that sounds a little funny.

Myrna: That's what you call a paradox or something.

Paul: Yes like an oxymoron.

Myrna: Okay I got it. What's the difference between a, pre maintenance diet, and, post diet maintenance? You just talked about the, post diet maintenance, phase which is where you gradually bring your calorie level back up so that your body can get accustomed to all this. What you're doing to it? What should we do as a, pre diet maintenance?

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What is the Pre diet maintenance Phase

Paul: Fantastic question. The way I like to talk about a, pre-diet maintenance, phase is when somebody comes to me and it's about 99% of those I work with, they say hey I want to lose X amount of weight and I want to lose it yesterday.

It's typical we want all of our results yesterday. When I go through their questionnaire and have these initial conversations with them, I get a really good picture of their current foundation of eating habits and relationship with food. More often than not, people who want to start a diet don't really have any foundation in place.

Maybe they're dining out seven times a week or they're skipping meals here and there, and then they're binging later etc. So, this, pre-diet maintenance, phase is a point or an opportunity rather to start building a unique, sustainable weight loss, structure for that individual and because changing habits can be a stressful process on its own.

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Pre Diet Maintenance reduces stress

We don't want to add additional layers of stress from, calorie deficit, like as we just mentioned that's a psychological emotional and physiological stressor on its own, so it's during the, pre diet maintenance, phase we're not trying to, lose weight, whatsoever. We're simply working on rebuilding a foundation of healthy eating habits, one that is unique and sustainable and also reframing or rebuilding our relationship with foods.

Myrna: Is this a diet?

Paul: Yes.

Myrna: Explain that so that someone's reading can understand what that means.

Paul: Absolutely. In the 10 plus years of doing this, working with 1400 plus people those who have had the most success, it all boils down to three common principles and that's related to the foundation of their food and eating habits. Those principles are:

simplicity,
individualization and
sustainability.

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Weight Loss Mindset

If you and I for example, we're working together from day one I'm really going to ask you a lot of questions, challenge you to think differently about what an ideal day of eating, nourishing your mind and body, your soul looks like. I am looking to see you, weight loss mindset.

For example, maybe you only want to eat three times per day, maybe your best friend eats five times per day and you want to do the same. So, we focus on you, we really build a structure that is unique to you. If you want to eat three times per day, great. I'm going to have collected information about what your eating looks like.

I'm going to be able to identify what I like to call areas of focus or areas for growth. And then we're going to start with the one I feel is the most important and that's going to give you the quickest win right away. We're going to take that and we're going to build positive momentum before we move to the next one.

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Protein is important in your Weight Loss plan

One of the most common ones I get is a person coming to me under eating protein. So, I look for ways to add in protein throughout the day. I even like to say sneak protein in so you can reap the many benefits protein has to offer without making some completely upheaval change to your current approach to, nutrition, and eating.

Myrna: Alright, I got it. You're just getting them maybe in touch with what they're eating and getting them into starting the, diet, phase and maybe even seeing if they can follow it to be quite honest.

Paul: If you are going to, diet, and then maintain your ,weight loss, successfully, you should probably only spend about one percent of the rest of your life ever, dieting. Think about that for a minute, if you do one good diet and you learn how to, maintain weight loss, you never have to, diet, again which is fantastic.

Myrna: That's where you're talking about lifestyle right?

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Post Diet Maintenance

Paul: Yes. During the, post diet maintenance, phase, we want to pay attention to the gradual increases in your calories. Your portions to get you back to a level that supports everything you want to do and to live life to the fullest. But during this time too, we need to really put a lot of attention and time into redefining what normal or balance or moderation looks like for you as an individual.

We view each of those through the lens of sustainability, so that, weight loss, maintenance continues to happen as you operate on this new version of autopilot with your eating, exercise, and self-care habits.

Myrna: In your program do you include exercise or just a, nutrition, plan?

Paul: We focus a lot on, nutrition, but we actually focus a lot more on the emotion, behavioral and mindset aspects.

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Sustainable weight loss without exercise

Myrna: This whole, sustainable weight loss, equation entails so not much on exercise right?

Paul: Yes, the brain and the mindset.

Myrna: Someone coming into your program:

You help them with the, pre diet maintenance,
Put them on a, diet, to reduce calories
They lose 20 pounds
The, post diet maintenance, phase kicks in where it's a lifestyle shift. If they do those three things, the million dollar question. Is, weight loss, sustainable?

Paul: Here's the one thing I'll include before someone enters our community and program. Before they receive instructions and the individual one-on-one care to build out their, pre-diet maintenance phase, they actually spend the first couple of months not even focusing on, nutrition.

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Understanding your relationship with food

We spend a lot of time up here and I'm pointing to my head and my heart. I am really looking to understand their past. How for example their childhood traumas, relationships with parents, guardians, friends and their environment shaped their current relationship with food.

We use this time as an opportunity to shine a big bright spotlight of awareness on some of the ways our past experience is affecting self-talk, limiting beliefs, thought counterproductive habits. We spend a lot of time there first before even getting to the, nutrition, because, if we can start making changes, they're going to accumulate and compound over time.

Myrna: Tell our readers about your program, how you can help them maintain their, weight loss, goals and how they can contact you.

How the 5 Community Help you with your weight loss goals

Paul: Absolutely. My core focus where I eat, sleep, breathe and live these days is called the, 5 Community. This is where we work with high achieving women specifically mothers, to help them reclaim their confidence, their inner peace and calm through learning how to rebuild not only their relationship with food and dieting; but most importantly, the relationship with themselves, so they can, lose weight, reclaim their energy and truly feel, look and be their best.

The ways we do this is our central focus of the course. There is plenty of coaching such as:

one-on-one time,
online continuing therapeutic and
transformational curriculum that is with them every step of the way, but truly the magic comes within our community. When you surround yourself with a like-minded in a group of like-minded individuals truly is an opportunity to time collapse your results.

One of the worst things that I've observed happening specifically with the mothers I've worked with over the years, is they develop this sense that they are alone.

But when you surround yourself with like-minded individuals, you can actually restore hope, restore feelings that change is possible and it's through the collaborative accountable and supportive efforts amongst our community. We've really seen some fantastic sustainable changes and of course on the scale, and in the mirror; but more importantly in mindset, relationship and emotions related to food eating and just simply being the best version of us.

The best place to connect and engage with me is on Instagram @paulsaltercoaching. The best website is going to be www.thepaulsalter.com

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Conclusion

Paul: Remember to trust yourself. The difference between an appropriate portion size and maybe a not so appropriate portion size is that you already know what to do. Before you spend your money and time energy and effort, trying to outsource to fad, diet, A B or C, focus on making one tiny positive change that is geared towards helping you feel a little better.

When you make that change successfully, then insert another one and you're going to start to build, positive momentum, because when you begin feeling better, your energy comes up. Your confidence comes up, you're just exuding this different level of energy that has a nice positive ripple effect on other areas of your life. Now, we're talking about creating a win-win-win situation

Additional Resources

Health is Wealth: How to lose weight without Dieting

blog, Have no fear, Life Coaching, Life Coaching Blog, lifecoaching, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast

How to Have Faith That Sets You Free

September 20, 2021 Myrna Young

When you replace, fear, with, faith, it prevents your, subconscious mind, from going into reflex mode and bringing what you, fear, into your experience.

The Bible teaches that, faith, without works is dead. That means as we say in my birth country of Guyana

Put your money where your mouth is.

Eg. If you, have faith, that God is going bring you the desires of your heart and you desire to have a child; then you don’t do like Sarah and have your husband sleep with Hagar (your maid) so you can have a child. No you have, courage, to stay the course and in God’s time you will have a child.

You pick out baby names,
Shop for your nursery,
You buy pregnancy clothes,
And you live in expectancy, hoping every month that your period does not show up!

Listen to the full episode here:

Faith means getting up after you fall down

If you experience some setbacks like several miscarriages, you have, courage, and believe in Gods promise, that everything works out for your good. You believe that Gods intentional!

You Banish, fear!

The only thing you have to, fear, is, fear, itself. Fear, is false evidence appearing real.

When you replace, fear, with faith it prevents your, subconscious mind, from going into reflex mode and bringing what you, fear, into your experience.

Program your subconscious mind with faith

The, subconscious mind, can’t tell fact from fiction, it brings you whatever you think about consistently.

Jesus says by their fruits we shall know them.

If you live with, courage, we shall know you by your fruits because, faith, is the language to God and he always delivers.

Man was created in Gods image with the power to rule the world. Have faith, that you have the power to manifest your heart’s desire and believe that whatever you hold on your head, you will hold in your hand.

The universe is obedient to Gods will.

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How to increase your faith

Every living thing has confidence in something or somebody. You, have faith, that if you deposit your money in the bank, it will be there when you go to withdraw it. You, have faith, that if you plant a mango tree, it will bear mangoes and not oranges.

Similarly, we must, have faith, that whatever we ask God in prayer he will answer.

It is your habitual tendency of thought that reappears in your body and recreates the conditions in your life.

You become what you think about most of the time.

https://youtu.be/pcQz3Y-Zl5A

Speak faith Not fear

The words you use are the channels in which the creative energy takes shape.

This energy takes the shape from the instrument from which it passes. Water flowing from a crooked cup, flows crooked. Water must take the shape of the pipe from which it flows.

You can't think one thing and produce another, this is as impossible as an electric fan being used for lighting purposes.

As a man thinketh so is he.

There is an intelligence in all nature. Faith, without works is dead but with it, sets you free.

Say Goodbye to, Fear, cultivating, courage, have faith, and if you are afraid, Do it afraid.

Fear looks down Faith looks up

When you, fear, you have a pessimistic view of life. Worrying about the future is futile, we have no control about the future so if you are going to imagine the worst, why not shift it and use your imagination to create the life you want.

We are able to create whatever we think about most of the time. We become what we think about.

Think about this story. A young lady was worrying about losing her job. She feared losing her home, becoming homeless and worked herself into a frenzy by looking down into the abyss of, fear. But if she used her imagination to dream about getting a promotion instead of losing her job. Dreaming about buying a new home allows her to look up.

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

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A Dolphin Trainer Finds Purpose After Cancer

September 14, 2021 Myrna Young

It was the first time since I started coughing, I put my hand on my throat and I felt a lump. Shortly after that, I was diagnosed with, throat cancer. It was stage two, Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I remember asking the doctor what happens if I don't get, chemotherapy, and she said you'll be dead within the year. I really didn't have any choice, it was an aggressive form of, cancer, and I needed to just stick it out and battle it with the, chemotherapy.

I came up with the idea of making a documentary of my, cancer, journey because that way I could still learn about filmmaking and I wanted to show a story of, survival, because when I turn to the movies, I don't see any, cancer survivor, stories only stories of, cancer, patients who passed away. I knew that there were millions of, cancer survivors, out there and I wanted to show a story of, survival.

My guest today is Joy Claussen Soto. Joy is a, cancer survivor, filmmaker and author. Today, we are going to be talking on the topic “How to find your, purpose, after cancer or after a major illness?

Myrna: Can you share your journey as a, dolphin trainer, and how that specifically helps you overcome, cancer, because I know that you're tying them together somehow.

Listen to the full interview here:

My Journey as a Dolphin Trainer

Joy: Well my journey as a, dolphin trainer, started a long time ago when I was in college. For me, the really important part was when I applied to get a job at SeaWorld. I tried a number of times to get a job at Sea World, but it never worked out because they just weren't hiring people. Fortunately, I happened to call at the right time and they asked me to take a, swim test. I was in Chicago at the time, so I had to fly out to San Diego and I had one day to take this test. I went down to a pool to practice the, swim test, which was holding your breath for 120 seconds underwater, touching the bottom which is 26 feet deep and some other things.

Those were the biggest challenges that I was having trouble with. So I went down to the pool to started practicing. I would hold my breath and then come up maybe a quarter of the way. I couldn't even get half the way through the pool without needing to come up for oxygen and when I dived down in a pool that's six feet deep my ears start to hurt. But, for some reason I still got on that plane and went to San Diego to do this, swim test, at Sea World. I knew that I hadn't practiced physically, but I remembered reading about athletes and how they used their minds to visualize the ball going through the hoop, and gymnasts who visualize themselves doing all their moves. Those were my thoughts as I was on the plane. I started visualizing everything. I visualized myself swimming through the water, wanting to give up and not giving up, and making it to the other side and also same thing with diving down.

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Visualizing Dolphin trainer swim test

I practiced holding my breath the whole time on the airplane. I probably looked like a crazy person. I had my watch out and started practicing that, visualization, also helped me, beat cancer. I went there to Sea World took the, swim test, and miraculously, I got in the water and I passed the test. I was so happy that I had done it, I didn't even care if I got the job because I was just so proud of myself that I put myself out there and I did something that I physically couldn't do just 24 hours before.

When it comes to, cancer, I'd seen how powerful, visualization, was. I would use that when I was sick, because I think one of the things when you are going through something like that is that you feel a loss of control. We all know that a loss of control can lead to, depression. When I was going through, cancer, I couldn't have control over what the, Chemotherapy, was doing to my body. I didn't have control over what the doctors were doing, but I did have control over my mind.

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Visualization to Beat Cancer

I visualized, Chemotherapy, killing the, cancer, eating the, cancer, and make these little things in my mind to help it along. So, that helped me. Even though, it may not have been real control, but perceived control, I was using that as one of the ways I was able to gain back control. That was one thing that helped me from my job as a, dolphin trainer.

Myrna: Visualization, is powerful. I always reference back to Christopher Reeves, when anybody's talking about, visualization, as a part of healing. Christopher Reeves book called “Nothing is Impossible” talks about how he used, visualization, to heal his body when he was paralyzed from the neck down and all he could do is blow into a straw to speak. That was powerful stuff and I never forgot it. Visualization, helped him start walking and speaking. He did it by sitting on his porch every single day and, visualizing, his body healing and that's my base. A lot of people have done that since then but visualization is big. Can you bridge the gap in a bit for us about your cancer story?

Joy: Even though my passion was working with dolphins, I also wanted to become a filmmaker. So, I quit my job at SeaWorld and enrolled in Film School. I was in film school for three months and that was when I found the lump in my throat. I had been coughing, the cough was getting worse instead of better and I felt really tired.

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Being diagnosed with Throat Cancer

Myrna: What it sounds like is that, at no point in time you thought you're going to die, because you wanted to show a story of, survival, that's faith. Where did you get that faith?

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Faith and survival

Joy: I've always had a belief in God, and my dad taught me about, faith. I remember we had a lot of my relatives pass away in a short period of time when I was little. I remember sitting on the chair with my dad in our house, he explained to me what death was.

He said some people are here for a certain reason – to help other people learn lessons and to learn lessons themselves. That can mean just being here for a couple of minutes or it can mean an entire lifetime. So, I just kind of took that as my understanding of, purpose, and I've used that throughout my life. Well, I'm here to learn lessons, but I don't know what those lessons are. Hopefully, I'm learning them right now and I'm here to help teach other people lessons. So, that has helped me get through, cancer treatments.

Myrna: Regardless of how you believe and how much, faith, you have when you heard that, cancer, diagnosis, fear had to creep in.

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Fear and Zig Zigler

Joy: Absolutely. I was in a battle with myself and, fear. I have footage in my documentary of me talking to the camera at my lowest point when I let, fear, in. What really helped me, was I had listened to a Zig Ziglar motivational tape. There was one story of him being stuck in an Airport, his flight was canceled, but instead of him being angry or upset like most people would have, he just said fantastic. He came up with all the reasons why it was good that his flight wasn't taking off:

Maybe there's something wrong with that plane
something wrong with the people flying that plane
the weather was bad and could crash the plane.

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If that's the case, he said “I don't want to be up there, I want to be right down here, fantastic.” That was powerful for me, because it showed me that we have control over how we either respond or react to things. I had a moment when I remembered that life is indeed fantastic! I started thinking of all things I was grateful for:

I was grateful for my friends and family and all the love I was receiving
Grateful that they found my, throat cancer, at stage two
Incredibly grateful that they found my, cancer, period and they can treat it.
I started flipping it instead of going, I was diagnosed with cancer and it's horrible, I started flipping it to get to fantastic. It helped me to get through it better and become a, cancer survivor.

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An Attitude of Gratitude to beat cancer

Myrna: That's awesome. This is good stuff, they say. Another quote is I like is:

It's not what happens to you, but how you respond to what happened to you.

An, attitude of gratitude, is a powerful treatment for, cancer. Now, how did you learn to control the, uncontrollable? You said you were able to control the elements in an, uncontrollable, situation. You just said a minute ago that your, visualization, of the, chemotherapy, that you had to do, is an, uncontrollable, situation. What are some of the other things or some of the other elements that you use in this, uncontrollable, situation to control?

Joy: The whole time that I was sick, I had this visual of me surviving and making a, story of survival. I think that was very powerful and that helped me in taking back control of my life. The, attitude of gratitude, my notebook and the documentary, those were ways I was able to grab back some control when I was going through an, uncontrollable, situation.

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Making a Cancer Survival Story documentary

In my, cancer survival, documentary, I filmed all the details of my very bad moments with, cancer, when things weren't going well. At one point, I was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night. I was on a bench for a short period of time. I was very weak. I could hardly talk because I have mucositis. It goes all the way down. It's like a strep throat, but it's from the chemical from my, cancer treatment. Everything was bad and that moment. I needed my first blood transfusion. I asked my friends to keep filming and take footage of me when I'm getting the blood transfusion. I think it is really important to see, that you can go through the fire and come out at the other end.

Myrna; I love it. Where can readers watch this documentary?

Joy: I recently uploaded to YouTube. It’s called “Just one Year – A Story of Triumph over Cancer”. My book is more complete and is called “Joy – The story of a Dolphin Trainer, Filmmaker and Cancer Survivor”.

Myrna: How did becoming a, cancer survivor, help you find your, purpose? Didn’t you think that being a, dolphin trainer, was your, purpose before, cancer?

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Cancer Helped me Find My Meaning Of Life

Joy: I've always loved animals and the ocean. It's always been a big part of my life. That was just something that I enjoyed.

Myrna: That's what you use, positive reinforcement, to work with, Dolphins.

Joy: It just kind of all came together, but I don't know if working with, dolphins, was my, purpose in life. I believe that becoming a, cancer survivor, is my, meaning of life.

Myrna: It gave you a little direction, right?

Joy: Yes, you're not going to just jump out of the crib and have a, purpose, or know the, meaning of life. I felt like I survived, cancer, to help other, cancer, patients survive. I've been the happiest helping others. I was able to start a program, helping kids with cancer, where they can come to the park and get in the water to meet a, dolphin. One of the most important parts of that program was that I would tell them my, cancer survival story.

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Sharing my cancer survival story to help kids with cancer

I would say, “Hey, I know a lot of you here are being treated at children's hospital. I was treated there too, but now look; I get to work here as a , dolphin trainer, in my dream job and I get to share it with you.”

Myrna: That's a powerful thing and that gives people hope.

Joy: The first moment when I realized that whenever someone survives something, there's something magical about, survival.

Myrna: What made you write the book and what is the message that you're trying to share?

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Joy: I wrote the book to give people hope. Whenever one of my friends knows of someone who has been diagnosed with, cancer, they would always refer that person to me and I would tell my, survival story, to a lot of different people just to give them hope from my, survival. I know it's giving people hope.

I had a friend of mine who just went through, cancer. She's still growing back her hair. I haven't talked to her since high school, that's a long time ago. She read my book and she said it was like reading her own, survival story. It showed her that life can be even better after, cancer. I also wanted to share that the problems do not go away after you, survive cancer. People would think okay now that you, beat cancer, that you should be so blissful. That you're floating in heaven.

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Your Cancer Journey does not end after you Beat Cancer

That's not the case. For me, I was bald. All my muscles had atrophied from being in a hospital bed for the last six months. I had, PTSD, but I didn't know it. I was still in my head sick and going through, cancer, every night. I would sleep and dream that I was still sick in the hospital. It took me a year. I think something that's really important is when you go through something like this to know when it's time to reach out for help. It took me a year to realize I needed to get help. So, I finally started talking to someone about a year out and that's when I feel like I started to really heal from, cancer.

Myrna: Wow, this is a bonus. I would never have imagined that after you, survive cancer, and you are going to live that you are not blissfully happy!

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Conclusion

Book Joy the story of a dolphin trainer and cancer survivor

Your story is talking about, survival skills, for, cancer, but there are so many things that people have to survive other illnesses or . What I mean is, this book can help a lot of people in their, survival story, whether it's divorce, whether it's losing a child, whether it's being homeless or whether it's losing your job. Whatever it is, these principles can be transferred into any, survival story.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Additional Resources

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blog, business, creating wealth, Entrepreneur, Life Coaching, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, setting goals

How to Go from Success to Significance in 100 Days

September 6, 2021 Myrna Young

Inspirational coach, Marcus Bell, created a project called the “100 Dayz Challenge” a ‘Wealth and Impact’ boot camp to guide people to the way to success. This Challenge helps people achieve their goals in life.

Marcus Bellringer teaches us how to go from, Success to Significance, in, 100 days. His bootcamp 100, Dayz, Impact Challenge is growing in popularity. We’re going to straddle the fence today. We talk about music and, life coaching, and challenge you to make changes to your life in, 100 days.

Bio Marcus Bell

MARCUS BELL IS ONE OF THE TOP MUSIC PRODUCERS/COMPOSERS IN THE INDUSTRY. He has worked with some of the biggest artists such as Nicki Minaj, Katy Perry, Snoop Dogg and many more. He also produced and composed for some of the most famous films and TV shows. Apart from that, Bell is a successful entrepreneur who wants to help people achieve their goals in life. That’s why he created a project called the “100 Dayz Challenge” a ‘Wealth and Impact’ boot camp to guide people to the way to success.

This Challenge helps people achieve their goals in life. Bell has also produced soundtracks for several television shows and films. Some of the new and upcoming releases that feature his work are the TV series P-Valley (Starz Network) with the singles ‘Boy Listen’ and ‘Own It’, and the Netflix series Ginny & Georgia with the song ‘Give Us Love’. Marcus Bell also published a #1 best-selling book on Amazon titled ‘Bellringer Branding Bible: The 5 Musician Branding Principles for Singers, Rappers

Listen to the Full Interview

Before we get into the details of our conversation today, tell us your journey from being a music producer to a, Life coach, wanting to help people achieve success in their life.

Marcus: The first thing I would say is to start with is I stand for dignity and compassion for myself and all humanity. That’s why everything that I've done and everything that I do is organized around uplifting humanity. When it comes to the music industry now, the thing that I love about the music industry which I've been a part of since I was two years old, is I was born into the entertainment industry.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index

I started playing piano when I was two years old, I was a child prodigy. I started my first company when I was 12 years old, a record label. So, I've been an entrepreneur my entire life, a musician, songwriter and recording artist. What I discovered in my journey was that the things that I was doing when I was younger, like recording myself and playing all the instruments and coming up with the lyrics of the songs and all of those pieces of a puzzle (that’s the actual role of someone that is able to do all of those things and mix the song and bring it to completion and deliver the emotions of the song), those are the roles of a music producer – so I discovered that I was a, music producer, before I was a teenager.

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Become the producer of your life in 100 Days

I learned everything from my mother, she was just amazing at bringing forth treasures in my life. When I was younger, I lived in an area in Virginia (I was born in Norfolk, Virginia). In that area there was a music producer who had produced Marvin Gaye. He was my first contact with someone that was hugely successful in the music industry, his name is Gordon. I was taken to the studio in his house and he was playing my music. Suddenly, he stopped the music and he looked at me, he said “kid don't you listen to the radio?”

What he was saying was “kid what's your style.” I was playing around in a lot of different genres and did not have a sound. Today I teach my clients to find their unique talent in, 100 days. As a kid, I had a song that was hip-hop, I had a song that was jazz, I had a song that was gospel, I had a song that was reggae and a funk song. I was all over the place in terms of the type of music I was producing. But I discovered, I was a, producer.

I discovered in that session that this is what a, music producer, does. A, music producer, looks at the artist and can see what is needed in order to pull the greatness out of that artist. The, producer, then focuses that greatness in a direction that will make the artist successful. In the, 100 days, challenge, I do the same thing for my clients. I pull the greatness out of them and I try to do it in, 100 days.

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The Wealth and Impact Boot Camp: How to Build Wealth

My job as a, music producer, is to see greatness in my artists and help them discover that greatness for themselves, and capture it on a recording, so that the world can see that greatness.

As a, Life Coach, the Wealth and Impact Boot Camp, is a program that is designed around helping people access their greatness, articulate that value in the marketplace so that they can monetize it and help a massive amount of people.

Myrna: That's great. So, why did the, music producer, back then ask you if you listen to the radio? How does the radio help you as an artist?

Marcus: That's a fantastic question. There are processes to discovering your voice, and as far as I can tell, there are three stages:

There's imitation stage,
The emulation stage and
And the innovation stage.

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Goal Setting in the innovation stage

The, imitation, stage is like learning to play the saxophone. I would take out the saxophone put on Charlie Parker and John Coltrane, imitate what they did, I would try to figure out the notes get the sheet music (this is what they were playing here) and try to sound like them. Basically, I was attempting to be Charlie Parker on the saxophone. This is the, imitation, stage.

For the, emulation, I'll use a different example. When I was in Boston doing something like 10 songs a day, people would come into the recording studio and say “Marcus can you do something that sounds like Timberland” Can you do something that sounds like Baby Face? Can you do something that sounds like Dr. Dre? But in, goal setting, we have to stop, imitation, and, emulation, and start the, innovation, process to create our unique sound or bring our our unique greatness.

I'm not playing exactly what Dr. Dre did, but I would do something that Dr. Dre would have done. It's a sound, it's a feel, it's an energy, it's a vibe. I'm listening from a lot of different lenses. I am listening for like the sounds that are selected, the type of setting that is placed, the way the notes are arranged (is it more minor, is it more major) like all these different factors and many different ways to examine something to get to an, emulation, place. As the, producer, of your life, you can do the same thing with your mentor.

Find somebody who has been where you are trying to go and emulate them until you understand the rules of the game.

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Trying to find your sound or unique talent in 100 Days

I didn't know at the time that I was developing a valuable skill from, emulation, and, imitation. That skill allowed me to be featured in different television shows and movies. People still reach out to me and say “Hey Marcus we couldn't clear the Beyoncé song, oh we couldn't clear xyz song (like Lady Gaga’s song), do you have anything that sounds like it? They are using my skill of, imitation, and, emulation.

Innovation, is getting you to your authentic self. In the, 100 dayz challenge, and there's a bunch of different lenses that we can talk about. One lens is think about those conversations that you may have about, time and money. For example. There's a narrative that gets emulated inside of society, particularly Western society that “time is money”. How many times have you heard that?

Myrna: Are you trying to challenge that concept?

Marcus: Absolutely, because time is much greater than money.

Marcus: I would assert and not only is time much greater than money, but what kind of time are we talking about?

Are we talking about space time,
What about talking about time as numbers,
And talking about time as activity?

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Learning How to build wealth in 100 Days

I've studied a lot about, time and money, time can be used in the context of money to multiply your money (like compound interest) and things like that, but I think when I use that is when someone is wasting my time.

Myrna: Are you talking about the 24-hour day where you are a, producer, a coach or somebody that's working with you that, time is money, because when you waste time you're wasting money?

Marcus: Yes, but you can transform that thinking and have, passive income, from, compound interest, and all the other things where your time is not connected to, money. I mean, money, is not connected to your time. In the, 100 days, challenge, I spend a lot of time on how to make, money, work for you. If I were to talk about how I produce revenue, you would agree that, time is not connected to, money.

In the, 100 Dayz challenge, I teach you, how to build wealth, with, passive income, in, 100 days. I have a friend of mine who I'm doing a course with, I'm collaborating with him on a LinkedIn, Wealth and Impact Boot Camp course. He gets paid up to $75,000 for 45 minutes.

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Building Wealth by becoming an Innovator

Marcus: Barack Obama is an, innovator, that is why he charges $200, 000 an hour to speak for an hour at events. A, Life Coach, can bring $200,000 worth of value into the lives of their clients and be paid $500. Part of being an, innovator, and, music producer, is looking at what are the elements that make someone unique. What's different about this artist, what is he doing that's different? What's different could be how you value yourself in a marketplace and so forth. Time is money, is one of those things.

Myrna: I remembered probably the biggest example of that, is Mariah Carey. Mariah Carey has a song “All I want for Christmas is You.” That the song took her 30 minutes to write and it's made 60 million over the years. That is how you, build wealth, and we can say that is this case, time is not money.

Marcus: That’s a great example. Musicians aren't the only ones that have, passive income, from, innovation. I would assert that every individual once they have connected to the intrinsic value that they have to offer the world, and they're able to hone in on what that value is and offer it to the world, can have, passive income, and not trade time for money.

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What the 100 Dayz Challenge is About

Myrna: Tell us about your, 100 Dayz Challenge, and how does it connect to finding the authentic self?

Marcus: The 100, Dayz, Challenge is really designed around taking people from, success to significance. In a community event in 2020 around election time, I was talking about elections and I challenged my clients to elect themselves for office. When someone comes into office like when Biden they have an aggressive agenda in the the first, 100 days, in office. This originated from President Roosevelt. When the country was moving out of the great depression, Roosevelt brought forth the first, 100 days, (this is where we get that from in popular culture and then particularly in politics). When he got into office, his first, 100 days, is where he set the tone for his entire 4 year term by doing as much as possible in, 100 days.

The whole four years, but people ask what did you do in, 100 days? That's why people elected to office, try and get bills passed or reverse things from the past president, all of that activity in that first, 100 days, in office. Traditionally, the first, 100 days, has been the most impactful for the entire eight year term.

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100 Dayz boot camp

In my 100, dayz, challenge, I challenged them to create wealth in a the boot camp to take on, 100 days, for their most important aims. I created a structure around the first, 100 days, because most times when people take on challenges like New Year’s resolutions, by day 15:

people stop going to the gym,
they're eating cakes again,
they stop meditating,
Most stop praying or whatever.
Arguing with their husband or wife or girlfriend a boyfriend is back
Most people can't sustain it.

So, I created a structure for, sustainability. What makes the, 100 Dayz Challenge, unique is that, it is designed with, neuroscience, social psychology, and with psychology in mind; so that you can create sustainable change or elevation or adding something new. If there is something that you wanted to do that you didn't necessarily have the courage to do, or you didn't have the time to do, you didn't have the resources to do it, whatever. All you have to do is take that thing and put it inside the, 100 Dayz Challenge, structure Program and achieve, success to significance.

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Success to Significance in 100 Days

As a result of the success of the, 100 Dayz Challenge, and because we launched at the same time that Biden came into office. We started this, 100 days, challenge and we opened it up to the public. People can join at any time. We created several, 100 days, programs to suit different goals. As soon as you join it, your, 100 days, starts.

What's happened from the public launch of the program is we realized that this is not just a program:

it's not just a course inside (even though there ‘s a course in the 100, dayz, challenge)
it's not just a community (even though we are a community)
and it's not just a structure (even though there's a structure there),
this is actually a Movement.

It's all about self and others, because when you do something for yourself it impacts those around you.

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The Neuroscience of sustainability

Myrna: That's true, but I want to ask you a question, because I know that what you're saying is very true as far as, sustainability, which is one of the reasons that the gyms are so packed after new year's or before summer, because people have a goal at these times but they can't sustain it. You talk about the, neuroscience, of the, 100 dayz challenge, so how does your program help with the neuroscience of quitting?

Marcus: There are things that we know for example, is response to, neuroscience. There's always an exception to every rule. There's always the exception. For example, there's always the gym that has people packed and all the time, but what we know in, neuroscience, (I'm not a neuroscientist, but I do a lot of study on, neuroscience.) It's known that willpower doesn't really work, so you can't “WILL” yourself throughout the day to perform at a high level.

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Willpower and Goal Setting

Willpower, over time diminishes, so you have less of it as the day progresses, which is why it's important if you're doing something that requires a lot of prefrontal cortex, to do it first thing in the morning. If there's a lot of cognitive load, you do that thing earlier in the day. If you're going to do finances or accounting or read through contracts or whatever you might want to do that earlier in the day, than at the end of the day. When you're tired from the activities of the day and your, willpower, has diminished, your cognitive abilities also have diminished.

The way the, 100 Dayz challenge, is designed we take an account that people have different goals and different aims. Someone maybe , goal setting, with a money aim, some will be, goal setting, and have a relationship aim, some may be, goal setting, and have a spiritual aim. The program allows each person to work with the strategies.

Myrna: Tell us about the, 100 Dayz challenge, program. Is it customized? The example that you gave of a person who wanted to raise money, would it be that a totally different skill than would be set for someone wanted to lose weight or someone wanted to get wealth or maybe someone wanted to find out what is their unique talent. Tell us about your program, 100 Dayz.

Conclusion

Marcus: The way that works is you as the individual customize it using the tools that we provided.

Myrna: Now, tell our audience how they can connect with this, 100 Dayz Challenge, or where they can connect with you.

Marcus: If someone is interested in joining the, 100 Dayz, Impact Challenge, they will go to 100dayzchallenge.com and join. I will recommend that they join the inner circle because on those inner circle calls, every Monday I get on the phone with the people that are in the challenge and we have conversations.

Myrna: My intention is almost similar to what you're doing here. My intention is to let people know that all they have to do is transform their mind and they can, transform their life, so that's exactly what you're doing here. With the challenge, you are helping people to transform their mind, because the mind is what is can either build you up or bring you down. Once you change that mindset, you will, transform your life.

Thank you so much for helping us to do that today by transforming our mindset that yes, we can do anything we want to do or achieve any goal by just working at it.

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Additional Resources

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blog, How to outsmart your brain, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, mindset, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, transform your mind

How to Reprogram your Unconscious Mind

September 5, 2021 Myrna Young

Your, unconscious mind, is carrying out behaviors that sabotage your, conscious mind, 24 hours per day. In fact studies show that our, subconscious, mind, is running our lives 95% of the time. If you don't, reprogram your subconscious mind, you will continue to run the same, subconscious programs, like a a tape recorder. We have to erase the tape and rewrite the tape for it to play new programs. Listen to the interview to learn how to, reprogram your unconscious mind.

Listen to the full interview here:

Introduction, Unconscious mind

Whenever you are on autopilot, you are running, unconscious mind. Have you ever gotten in your car and driven to your destination and you don’t recall how you got there. That is your, unconscious mind, driving you to your destination.

Autopilot is just one of your, subconscious programs, that has to do with your beliefs.

These, subconscious programs, were downloaded to you before your 7^th birthday are the programs your, unconscious mind, play until you die; unless you, reprogram your subconscious mind.

Even if you become aware of your, subconscious programs, you still continue the behaviors because the, unconscious mind, will keep playing the same, subconscious programs. Think about your vinyl record. Unless you scratch the record, it will play the same song forever!

When I was growing up my activity of choice was reading Harlequin romances. I was brainwashed into believing that love looked and acted in a certain way. For example, all the leading men in my Harlequin romance novels, were rugged, tall, dark and good looking. All the leading ladies were independent and did not want a man's help; so the man and the woman ended up feuding and hating each other until they realized that all, this attention they are placing on each other fighting, were actually the flip side of love!

These lovers, leading men and ladies were never a good match. Chemistry and raw physical attraction lead the way. Thirty years later, I was still playing that, subconscious program, It wasn’t until I met my husband that I started looking on the inside of a man, and not what he presented on the outside that I was able to, reprogram my unconscious mind,

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I was listening to a sermon by, Joel Osteen, a few months back and he was telling the story of, subconscious programs, with his sister. Joel said his sister was praying and asking God for a husband and God sent her a wonderful man; but she rejected him because he had red hair. He did not fit her, subconscious programs, for a mate. It took her years to reprogram her mindset and love this man.

Podbean

Did you grow up in a home where your dad worked and your mom stayed home and watched the kids? You never saw your dad because he was always working and your family just had enough? That is your model of a family and today you are probably still running this, subconscious programs,

What is your, Unconscious Mind, that needs to be rewritten?

I was a foster mom for years. I see the, unconscious mind, in foster and adopted kids all the time. Especially since most of them came into foster care system before their 7th birthday. They developed programs on, abandonment, attachment disorders, survival, most of them hoard food because their, unconscious mind, and lack and survival.

Here are 5, subconscious programs, Teenagers are running today

Make generalizations (no one loves me, I’m always going to be a failure, I’ll never get a job or pass this test)
Make choices and judgment based on past experiences.

3. Settle in life, don’t apply for jobs or get involved in extra curricular activities.

4. Reviews information and draws conclusions.

If someone breaks their heart, they learn to not trust people – to avoid being hurt again. If living in poverty, feel like will never get enough money to make it out of poverty. If get in a fight, feel they always need to protect them self

5. Accepts information literally and personally (take a lot of things said to heart, but not as constructive criticism)

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How to control your, Unconscious Mind

A mental picture is worth a thousand words. Your, unconscious mind, will bring to pass any picture held in the mind and backed by faith.

This is the space I am spending a lot of time in, at the moment. I am working on visualizing my goals and desires and speaking, affirmations. I am having a hard time of it, because I am not a visual person. But this is the first step in controlling the, unconscious mind, Visualizing what you want. Let the, unconscious mind, find the way, you only have to give it the destination.

For example if you want to be married by the age of 30 and have 3 kids. That is the mental picture you give your, unconscious mind, The universe will find the man and arrange the kids! Just say, affirmations, every day to reprogram your, unconscious mind.

Daily Affirmations, like:

I will get married to the man of my dreams by age 30
The Universe will deliver to me the man of my dreams by the time I am 30
I will get married by age 30 and have 3 kids by age 35

Remember to give your, unconscious mind, only instructions that would elevate and heal. It is the secret to your success. Your, unconscious mind, cannot take a joke. Don’t say things like with my luck the man that shows up would be bowed legged with buck teeth! Because guess what, hold that image in your mind for any length of time and that is what you will get, a bow legged man with buck teeth. Trust me on this.

Use, Autosuggestion, to improve any degradation.

About 10 years ago I read, Deepak Chopra’s, book called “Grow Younger, Live Longer” In this book Deepak taught us to say, affirmations, every day. It went like this.

Daily Affirmations for aging younger

Every day, in every way, I am getting younger and younger,

my biological clock is set at a healthy 30 years of age,

I look and feel a healthy 30 years of age.

Every day I am renewing my mind and body by eating healthy foods,

I take nutritional supplements wisely, etc.

I don’t remember all of it. I was saying these, affirmations, around my 40^th birthday. So over 20 years ago. I still remember those, affirmations, because I said them every day for several months.

This year on my 60^th birthday, I posted a picture on Facebook and this girl commented. She said “It is like you stopped aging at 30 years old. You just said F**K it! I am not getting any older! I do look 20 years younger than my chronological age and that’s because I rewrote my, subconscious programs,!

How to Rewrite Your Subconscious Mind

In my, conscious mind, I was always planning out my future and all things I wanted it to entail. I told myself, you will never be broke, you’re a go getter and you will always meet your basic necessities because of that. This mindset, relays into my life because it reminds me that failure is never an option and all things are possible because I know it is.

Many times, I feel that I have programmed my, unconscious mind, for the success. I heal myself faster from injuries. For example, one time my eye was swollen, and I had a workshop coming up in 2 days. I said to my, subconscious mind, don’t sweat it, you are going to get a warm rag and sleep with it on your eye, then you will use antibiotics and by the day of your workshop it will be gone.

Sure enough, the eye was not swollen anymore and I was able to facilitate my workshop with two functional eyes. Furthermore, despite all the adversity I have experienced in my life, I was always sure that I would finish University and get my degree. I programmed my, unconscious mind, to prepare for the test.

Remember the, unconscious mind, is carrying out behaviors that sabotage the, conscious mind.

Our, subconscious programs, doesn't stop at age 7; but continues for the rest of our lives.

Getting Past our, Subconscious Programs

Take risks to get past, subconscious programs, Your, unconscious mind, always wants to play it safe.
Ask questions like, What else is possible that I have not considered?
Say things like, how cool is it that I have all this extra money.

4. What am I going to do with all this extra cash?

5. How can I make this a reality?

6. What if I become a successful as a TV talk show host? What would that look like? See yourself in this role. This one is for me!!

Conclusion reprogram your unconscious mind

This strategy is called, auto inquisition. Thomas Edison practiced, auto inquisition. He would sit in a chair and ask his, unconscious mind, questions about an invention. You can do the same.

1. Give yourself permission to be successful, believe that you deserve good things to happen
2. Don’t allow other peoples fears to make you doubt yourself.
3. Surround yourself with positive reinforcement and allies.
4. Speak your success as present fact not a future plan. Instead of saying I am figuring out how to do that now, say I am strategist. What do I need to make that happen right now.
5. Start asking for what you want and keep track of all the things that have happened (gratitude journal)
6. Create a vision space, so you can imagine what it is you want to happen in your life.

Additional Resources Unconscious mind

“Keeping a healthy mind is important to have a balanced life. Mental health training can help you enhance self-awareness providing tips and knowledge about this topic”.

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-program-your-subconscious-for-permanent-change/

Trapped by your Mind? Learn This Five Step Process for Releasing Limiting Beliefs

Life Coaching, Life Coaching Blog, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast

What is the Connection Between Childhood Trauma and Autoimmune Disease?

August 28, 2021 Myrna Young

I made the connection in my mind between unresolved, childhood trauma, and these, autoimmune, problems. What I mean by unresolved is that the, trauma, is continuing to loop. The people are continuing to experience it as when the, trauma, was active, that creates, inflammation, in the body. The, inflammation, then compromises your, immune system, and your, neurotransmitters. If your, immune system, is compromised like it was with my daughter, the, inflammation, stays active. Inflammation, is basically a temporary pause in the system to protect the system against a threat.

Listen to the Full Interview Here

Introduction to Childhood Trauma and Autoimmune Disease

Bio

Dr. Don Wood, PhD developed the TIPP method after spending years researching how atmospheric conditions™ affect our minds and impact our lives. He went back to school later in life to get his PhD in clinical counseling and psychology, to learn how to heal his daughter’s Crohn’s disease and his wife’s autoimmune disease. Dr Wood says Both my wife and daughter experienced childhood trauma and I saw how it affected their life, including their health. They both had developed autoimmune disorders.” The TIPP program developed by Dr. Wood has benefited individuals all over the world. “ Dr. Wood is the author two books “You Must be out of your Mind” and “Emotional Concussions”, are focused on how we can all make the desired changes by allowing our mind to reset and reboot.

Dr Don Wood Childhood Trauma and Autoimmune Disease

Myrna: I just finished reading the book “What Happened to You” by Dr Perry and Oprah Winfrey. It is a profound book on, childhood trauma, which is where we're going to be spending some time on today. That book focused on the results of, childhood trauma, on, mental health, and relationships. I don't think I've ever read a book that so clearly links what happened to us as children to how we live life as adults. I've had a lot of guests on the Transform Your Mind talk show, talk about, trauma, and it's link to substance abuse and drug use etc., but this is the first time I am hearing a connection of, childhood trauma, to, autoimmune disorders and, Crohn's disease.

So, I want to start off by putting a pin on something you said in your bio. You said that you went back to school later in life to get your PhD in Clinical Counseling and Psychology, to learn how to heal your daughter's, Crohn's disease, and your wife's, autoimmune disease. You also said that, childhood trauma, were the causes for both, inflammation. Can you share what you found is the connection between, childhood trauma, and, autoimmune disease?

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Childhood Trauma lead to Crohn's disease

Dr Wood: Absolutely! It was really because of my daughter. My wife, when I met her, I realized she was living in a very different household than I grew up in. She had a very traumatic childhood with a very disruptive father, and so she developed Hashimoto’s (which is a thyroid disorder). She was in a constant state of, fight or flight, and it wasn't until my daughter was diagnosed with, Crohn’s disease, at age 14 that we then started to look for answers for her.

She was just basically told to get rid of gluten and dairy and change her diet, they really had no answer. When she was 16, she disclosed to us some, childhood trauma, that she'd experienced between the ages of six and eight that we were unaware of. I usually sometimes don't talk about this, but she actually had a second, autoimmune disorder, called Idiopathic Pulmonary Hemosiderosis; which is just a long form. It's a long name. Basically, it's another, autoimmune disease, that affects the lungs and the iron in the lungs. It causes the lungs to bleed out and basically that could be a death sentence. One out of 1.2 million people get it and a fair percentage of them die from it within five years.

That is really what started me looking for answers. I made the connection in my mind between unresolved, childhood trauma and these, autoimmune, problems. What I mean by unresolved is that the, childhood trauma, is continuing to loop. The people are continuing to experience it as when the, trauma, was active, that creates, inflammation, in the body. The, inflammation, then compromises your, immune system, and your, neurotransmitters. If your, immune system, is compromised like it was with my daughters, the, inflammation, stays active. Inflammation, is basically a temporary pause in the system to protect the system against a threat.

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If Childhood Trauma is not addressed it becomes inflammation

The problem for my daughter was that the threat continued because the memory of her, childhood trauma, was looping and continued to stay active. What I believe is the connection between these, autoimmune, issues is if you don't resolve that, trauma, it just continues. The, inflammation, for my daughter showed up in her intestinal area. There are a lot of people who have ended up with, Crohn’s disease, colitis, and, IBD, because of, inflammation, from, trauma. The cells go into a cell danger response, so they basically become hardened, enlarged and inflamed to protect the system temporarily until the danger passes. Then the, immune system, comes in, cleans up and takes over.

For my daughter, it didn't fix because she constantly was feeling the experiences from the result of her, childhood trauma. It stayed in this active cell danger response, but after we got the, trauma, resolved for my daughter, she hasn't had a, Crohn’s, flare-up. There's no other explanation in my mind that why her, Crohn’s, would stop and her idiopathic pulmonary issues also stopped. There was where I made the connection between the two.

Myrna: The connection between the, Crohn’s disease, I understand, because a lot of times when we're in, fight or flight, or when we're nervous or anything, we feel it in our gut, so that's definitely understandable.

Dr Wood: Crohn’s disease, can be sometimes called Creatural Bowel Syndrome, you feel it in your gut. I understand that part because you're always tense, and you’re always nervous.

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Autoimmune Disease and the Fight or Flight Response

Myrna: That's definitely a, fight or flight, response. Now, did you understand why your wife's, autoimmune disorder, showed up in her lungs which a a weird place to get it? What does the breath, the lungs and the iron in the lungs has to do with your, autoimmune? Tell us what's going on there again.

Dr Wood: I just believe it's coming down to, inflammation, so it shows up genetically different in different people. For my daughter, it ended up in her lower intestinal area. She also ended up with, inflammation, in her lungs as well. My wife ended up with a, thyroid disorder. I think it just shows up depending on where your weakest link is in your system. That's why it shows up in different places for different people.

Myrna: Now, you mentioned specifically that your daughter's, childhood trauma, happened between the ages of six and eight. Did you adopt her or something?

Dr Wood: No, she is our biological child. There was another young girl in the neighborhood that was a little older that had been abusing her. We were unaware. We thought she was just like a big sister and so she had been abusing her and we didn't know about it, and then we moved. The abuse stopped obviously because we moved, and then when she was 16, my daughter disclosed it to us and then by now she's got, Crohn’s disease. Again, we hadn't quite made that connection yet, because we were told by the doctors that, she's just have to learn to live with, Crohn’s disease. She'd eventually have to have four surgeries done where they had to literally go in and cut out pieces.

She really suffered and they said eventually she'll just end up with a colostomy bag. That's why my wife did all kinds of research and everything that she was learning was teaching people to live, manage and cope with, Crohn's, but not fix it, because they say there's no cure for, Crohn’s.

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What does Regulate Mean?

Myrna: If you're having, autoimmune disorders, then you might want to look at the fact that you might have unresolved, childhood trauma. There is a host of people that has unresolved, childhood trauma.

Dr Wood: My wife didn't have a safe place and there was no safe landing place. So, she constantly stayed in this state of fear so she couldn't, regulate.

Myrna: Regulate, that's Dr. Perry's favorite word. Regulate, is new word for me.

Dr Wood: Yes, we all need to, regulate. We need to find a way to cope either by listening to music or something else.

Myrna: Yes. I mean, I didn't understand what that meant, but now it's one of my new words in my vocabulary. I understand what, regulate, means, but maybe you might want to explain it to our listeners and readers.

Dr Wood: Sure. I know you had mentioned the, Vagus nerve. The, Vagus nerve, is either going to activate your, sympathetic nervous system, or, parasympathetic nervous system. Your, sympathetic nervous system, is your, fight or flight, and your, parasympathetic nervous system, is your rest and digest. The idea behind it is, if there's a constant threat going on your mind (like feeling unsafe), your, sympathetic nervous system, is going to be constantly activated. Eighty percent of the messaging from the, Vagus nerve, comes from the stomach, where all that, inflammation, starts coming in. They say your, gut, is your second brain and is sending information to the brain that there's something wrong and we're in stress all day long. Then the, inflammation, comes in and the rest and digest goes out the door. The, parasympathetic nervous system, is now turned off and is responding from the, sympathetic nervous system.

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The Parasympathetic Nervous System and Childhood Trauma

The idea behind it is when you're in, regulation, that, sympathetic, responds to a threat that is current and, parasympathetic, is what you're supposed to be in most of the time. The problem coming is that, childhood trauma, continues to activate that, Vagus nerve, sympathetic nervous system, because the mind glitches. Actually, I call it an error message. Your mind thinks the memory is still real, because it sees it in real time and so it's activating that system to try to protect you even though there's nothing happening. It's just information about something that happened in your past.

Myrna: That's why we develop, autoimmune disorder, because we are constantly in, fight or flight, mode.

Dr Wood: One of the things that was difficult for my wife, I couldn't understand why. Even though, she was living in my world now, we were doing well, we had a beautiful home with three beautiful children; yet she wasn't enjoying it. She couldn't relax and enjoy it, she was constantly preparing for the trouble to come. As a child her father would always cause her pain.

She learned that good times end and they end really quickly. She never wanted to get into that position of getting her hopes up that things were going to be okay, because her experiences which I call her ‘atmospheric conditions’ had been very dark and stormy. So, she's expecting the storm and don't want to start feeling safe. It was the loops our program can fix. We don't need to live and manage with it, we can actually fix it.

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Childhood Trauma is like Rust

Myrna: You said that people that experience symptoms from unresolved, childhood trauma, such as, addiction, PTSD, anxiety, achieving peak performance of the sport, business center, relationships. You say to think of those unresolved, childhood trauma, as rust and you said that most programs and therapies solution is to paint a cover over the rust whereas your program; the, TIPP program, removes the rust altogether. Now, this is your opportunity to tell us. What does, Tipp, stand for and what does it do?

Dr Wood: Tipp, stands for The, Inspired Performance Program. The reason we called it performance and not ‘trauma therapy’ was because I start off with the premise that there's nothing wrong with anybody. There's nothing wrong with anybody's mind. Your mind is filtering through your unique set of experiences to respond to your current present situation and so when you talked about the rust, what I say is, if you just paint over the rust, the rust will bubble up through the paint.

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What is the TIPP Program to cure Childhood Trauma

Eventually, the key is to sit it down, prime it and then paint it and then the rust is gone. That's what we do. What we do with, TIPP. I take you through a process. It's a four hour process that we basically reboot and refresh that old traumatic memory. The best way to explain it to you and people who are listening to this is that you can do this along with this, is I'll say can you remember what you ate for dinner last night? So, I ask you Myrna, can you remember what you ate for dinner last night?

Myrna: Yes. I had rice and beans with something that we call tripe.

Dr Wood: Okay. When you're looking at this, you'll notice that you looked up and when you looked up you saw pictures of what you ate, right? That's how you stored the information about dinner last night. No other animal does that, only humans store that kind of explicit detail about events and experiences. Now your survival brain is operating about 95 of everything for you. Your survival brain is fully present and in the moment now, when we have a traumatic event all your senses are heightened, sight, smell and hearing.

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PTSD and Childhood Trauma

How's it going to record that very bright and very intense with a tremendous amount of data brought in? Can you see where this glitch is going to come in now? If for some reason your mind accesses that memory that was traumatic and it sees all that intensity and high definition to it, what does it think it's happening? Right now. If you're in a threatening situation, doesn't it make sense that all of a sudden your, sympathetic nervous system, would engage your heart, your heart would start racing and you would go into that kind of a response. Even though there's no threat, it's just information about a threat that's, post traumatic stress. The person is constantly reliving through that memory and experiencing, PTSD.

What we do in our program is we're going to take that high definition traumatic memory and get your mind to reprocess that into the same format as to what you ate for dinner last night and takes a lot of that intensity out of it. Now, when you recall it, your mind doesn't call for the action, because when you have an emotion, the purpose of an emotion is a call for an action. The purpose of fear is to escape a threat and the purpose of anger is to attack a threat.

Myrna: Your, Tipp program, also helps people by rebooting, panic attacks, and anxiety.

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The Vegas Nerve and Panic Attacks

Dr Wood: It works the same way. If I can think, it will be the panic attack and anxiety, is the, fight-or-flight, response to this memory, right? So, panic attacks, are actually a combination of the emotional and physical. The mind is feeling threatened for some reason, but it can't find the danger and then what happens is it starts to activate your nervous system.

Now, your brain starts getting messages from the, Vagus nerve, from the system saying we're running low on oxygen, the brain is like there's going to be a lion around here, but I can't see the lion. Then the body starts sending messages like our Co₂ has changed, our oxygen level has changed and so all of those signals come into the brain when the brain is already feeling a stress response; it then goes into a, panic attack.

So, I wrote a patent for a band that you can wear on your wrist to detect a, panic attack, coming up to an hour before the, panic attack, start. The mind is doing this constant search looking for a problem that it can't find, starts to activate the nervous system which then starts sending messages to the brain and it's happening up to an hour before the, panic attack, happens.

But, people think the, panic attack, can come on suddenly, but it is starting an hour before. The idea behind this band is that, the band will detect when the mind is starting to do that thing and then what I teach you in our, TIPP program, is how to shut it down.

Myrna: I love our conversation. I now see why you're a podcast favorite, because this is good Stuff.

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What are Emotional Concussions?

Dr Wood: The second book I wrote was called “Emotional Concussions”. Exactly those kinds of things that are not the big “T” traumas.

They're like that coach that told you you're never going to be good enough.
The teacher that told you you're not smart enough,
the parent that said you'll never make it give that whole plan up, you're not going to make it.
Those are, emotional concussions, that can keep looping for 40 years.

Myrna: Your new book is called “You must be out of your mind, we all need a Reboot”, so tell us about your book. Why you wrote the book and what's basically the message that you're sending out?

Dr Wood: The first book was written really about the, Tipp program, and how it was developed. I talked about how my daughter and my wife were living this life. The only solution had been medical, give them prescriptions and medications and that led me on the search to try to find what I discovered – that this, childhood trauma, is what was continually activating their nervous system which was then creating their issues. So, that's why I said we all need to reboot, we got to get you out of that mind, we've got to reboot that mind and reset it to its original manufacture settings.

Everybody can benefit from this reboot, because like I said, the highest performing people when we have this unresolved, trauma, not only does it affect the mind, it affects the body and it actually affects our energy.

Myrna: Tell our listeners how they can connect with you and pick up copies your books.

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Conclusion to Childhood Trauma and Autoimmune Disease

Dr Wood: They can either do it two different ways: go to get the, Tipp program, at gettipp.com . You'll get the information on the program. You can either do it digitally online or in person. I take you through the whole four hour program online or you can come and personally see me for a one-on-one experience.

Head over to https://www.gettipp.com/transform for a discount.

Myrna: Everybody has been talking about mindfulness and meditation and I'm not sure how that relates to, trauma.

I know that's how I find my peace, but whatever, trauma, I had, if I had any it's been long removed, but I do practice my self-care meditation. I, regulate, myself, I didn't even know that's what I was doing, but I, regulate, myself by walking 5k every day. You know what I mean, that's all part of, regulation, so absolutely yes a lot of those things that you can do to sort of help as well.

Thank you guys for tuning in to the Transform Your Mind to Transform Real Life Radio podcast and television show. If you have not done so and you're listening to this on iTunes, please subscribe and leave a review. I bring you great quality guests like Dr. Wood every week as we try to transform your mind so that you can transform your life.

Until next time, blessings.

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Additional Resources

https://media.preachthewordtv.com/show?vg=dedb67b781&vt=1&ch=673c86f91c

http://blog.myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-mothers-abandonment/

blog, creating wealth, financial freedom, Life Coaching, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, wealth mindset

How to Recover Financially After Coronavirus Pandemic

August 19, 2021 Myrna Young

We have been in a, pandemic, situation for over 15 months now. Many of you who are reading this blog, have experienced some, personal finance, problems. We know that Amazon, Walmart, Google and all those big brands actually made millions of dollars and were very profitable during this, pandemic.

But, it is a fact that ordinary people like you and me had some struggles. Financial planner, Michelle Arpin Begina is going to share with us how to change our, money mindset, by paying attention to your, money story. Your, money story, shows up in good times and bad times. So, keep reading to understand how your, money mindset, affected whether you thrived in this, pandemic, or just survived.

Listen to the full interview:

Your Money Story

This is the time to really get curious and ask yourself, What is my, money story? Go back and trace the roots of your, money story, and experiences?

Similarly, ask yourself as an adult, What did I hear growing up about, money? What did I take away from the big financial moments of my life? What were some of the behaviors that I observed from other people or my parents, that influence my, personal finance, now?

Did you become a consumer or did you become a miser?
Did your parents tell you all the time ” Money does not grow on trees”
or ‘Money is the root of all evil”

Those messages are a part of my, money story.

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Your Parents Money Story

Michelle: I remember growing up watching my parents and saying to myself two things:

If only they could get their, personal finance, act together, because they had all the ingredients to have everything they wanted. We all have it within us.
The second thing I said was: this is not going to be me. But, as it turned out. When I first got started out, I started following their footsteps.

Myrna: Oh! You became a, consumer, too?

Michelle: I did! I bought the new car when I was 19, while I was paying my own tuition and rent. So, I lived with that feeling of financial insecurity. I kept it going with, personal finance, problems well into my 30s and then I turned it around.

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How to Thrive after the Coronavirus Pandemic

Myrna: What is the, personal finance, lesson that you want to share with us, that can help the people who are barely surviving?

Michelle: I can say that it's not just about the, consumers, and the savers, but there's probably more depth to thriving than that. We have to go into some biology.

Myrna: So, let's take a deep dive into biology of the, money mindset.

Michelle: Alright! We've got to cut slack for the, consumers, and the savers. Putting away money for a rainy day, could turn someone into a tight wad, where they are not enjoying their, money. There are so many different translations that can happen from what we take in as a child and that forms our, money story.

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Become friends with your future self.

Let's talk about flourishing for a second. We are hardwired to live in the moment, because we are psychologically distant from Michelle 10.0.

We are not friends with our future self. Michelle 10.0 or Myrna 10.0, is not our relative. We don't feel this connection with her today, so we can't help it. This is who we are as people, this is our biology. It's very difficult to handle, money, outside of what our needs or wishes or even impulses are in the moment.

What we need to do is recognize this. When the 401K rep comes in, when you don't have two dimes to rub together and say if you put away the maximum amount in this account, you'll be a billionaire by the time you're 65. When you were 22, it's going to go in one ear and out the other. You tell the 401K rep, I can't even afford lunch! A 22 year old has no relationship with her 65 year old self.

Myrna: You hit the nail right in the head. I was just saying that people can't save because they have no extras to save.

Most of us have more month than, money!

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Michelle: What we can do to help ourselves and transform our, money story, is to literally create a relationship with your future self. The closer we feel to that person, as if they were really alive today and is our friend, the more that we're going to act in their best interests.

There are so many new little things that we have to accomplish in the day-to-day details to get us to that overarching goal. So, when we're in the moment of the impulses or just choosing between two different things, and we want to maintain, self-control. What actually helps is to create distance in the moment. When we talk to ourselves in the third person, it actually helps us to control our behavior in the moment.

Myrna: I get it like saying

“Myrna would never do that, Myrna is going to do is make the choice that is going to really help her in the future.”

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What the Pandemic taught us about our money story

Myrna: Let's get back to the, pandemic. What has the, global pandemic, taught us about, money?

Maybe you're going to be a little different because, money, is your work, and you study it. Did you learn anything new about yourself and your, money beliefs, during the, pandemic, what do you think the global lesson was for us?

Michelle: I‘m a little afraid to answer this question.

Myrna: Let's talk. It's just your opinion.

Michelle: What I‘ve learned during this, pandemic, is a little embarrassing to say out loud is “I learned a whole lot more about our systems and just how differently everybody is impacted, was the biggest thing that I witnessed.

Heartbreaking really in many ways and I‘ve discovered is that our systems were not designed to take care of people. Our systems were designed for the efficient management of accounts to obey the laws, rules and regulations. Many people had no, money, in the Bank because they didn't see the need to save or to put something away for the rainy day. This, pandemic, exposed that flaw.

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The Pandemic changed our money story

Myrna: Do you think that our values have changed, now that the, pandemic, highlighted our, money mindset?

Michelle: That's basically what I was trying to get to as far as, money mindset, and the fallout from our, money story. Maybe their, money mindset, was that “you get it”, “you spend it” that kind of thinking. I like to think – I mean it's hard to know on a such a broad level whether it has or hasn't, but I think for someone who was probably scared to their core, there will be a change to their, money mindset.

If they lost jobs or clients,
Were not able to continue to work or couldn't pay their rent or mortgage. Their, money mindset, will shift to saving for a rainy day.

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We've heard so many different things happened. The income that I was relying on to make my month is evaporated or it's down etc., but to me, it really is that, fight or flight, or life or death kind of an experience. On the other hand, we may want to totally push that out of our mind because it was such an awful experience.

I think for a lot of people who maybe saw, for the first time, at their own hand, how perilous their situation could become. I think those people have probably changed their, money mindset.

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What's your success formula to change money mindset

Myrna: Great!!! You're a financial planner. Do you want to share your, success formula, or how you help your clients to develop a relationship with their future self and change their, money mindset?

Michelle: What a, financial planner, does is to help you with, personal finance such as:

Plan for the rainy day,
Put away for retirement,
Save to buy a house,
You plan for vacations.

Myrna: That's what you guys do, right? I understand you have a, success formula, can you share that? Like thinking about what resources did you bring to the table not just with, personal finance, but who did you know, what did you know etc..

Michelle: The, success formula, can be called your superpowers. We use the word “superpower” so much, but what part of you is special and unique? What do you bring to the table in every single one of your successes? We use that information to develop hope, optimism and resiliency.

What superpowers did you use to pull those things in when times when facing difficulty or you faced a challenge. How did you react when there was an upside surprise?

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All of those traits that I just described, in whatever way someone uses them, it's so cool. I mean we've all got a special factor that's so different from one another. If you just look at your own and you start picking it apart, you can see how I can pull on this thread when it comes to my money.

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Your money superpowers is your success formula

It's about figuring out what's effective so that's like the part of the expanded version of, personal finance. Financial Literacy, is what I would call it which is really kind of recognizing that we have a psychology and biology around in our brains and body around our, money. It's not just understanding markets or investing or good sound, financial planning, or, risk management, or all of those things which are important, but it's about your strengths.

Looking at the big picture and understanding someone's background, who they are and are not with their, money, what their wishes are, what their values are, of course what the, money, is and then really digging into some of their, money mindset, about what makes them.

Myrna: So, that's the, success formula.

Michelle: Yes, we use what makes you successful in other areas of your life and use the common thread to help you to be successful with your, money.

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The success formula challenge

Myrna: I understand that you have a website or a challenge to help the readers and those watching on TV. That would help them develop their, success formula. You want to talk about that?

Michelle: The best place for people to find me is my website, which is www.michelleab.com. Right on the home page is my, success formula, guide which anyone can download. Other channels that people can as well reach me or connect with me are on LinkedIn,

You can watch the full interview on the Transform Your Mind Podcast YouTube channel.

Also you can tune in at six o'clock Est every Sunday for our Preach the Word Network Television broadcast and of course you can listen in the radio WDJY 99.1 FM Wednesdays at 5p.m.

Myrna: Thanks again Michelle. Thanks everyone for tuning in and until next time, blessings.

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Additional Resources

Understanding the Rules of Economics and Money

Is True Wealth Financial Freedom?

blog, child abuse, Life Coaching, Life Coaching Blog, lifecoaching, Out Of The Snares, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast

How To Get Out Of The Snares of Child Abuse

August 14, 2021 Myrna Young

Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement is a book written to encourage women of color who were born in lack. It showcases my, personal growth, journey and how I got, out of the snares, of poverty and, child abuse.

This is my interview on the Books of the Month show on www.ptwwntv.com

Listen to the interview:

Introduction to Out Of the Snares

Myrna – I am a, life coach, I host a show on the preach the word television network called Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life, one of the reasons that I wrote the book, Out of the Snares, is because I believe and I wanted to encourage women that it is not where we come from, but where we end up that’s important.

It's also the only way that we can go through that transition like from a caterpillar to a butterfly is if we allow the things that happen to us in life help us with, personal growth. We should use challenges to transform ourselves and for our, personal development.

So, the book, Out of the Snares, is basically a story of my life. I wrote it from a, life coaching, perspective with 10 principles of, life experiences, that happened to me and what I learned from those, life experiences.

I’m a, life coach, but I do most of my coaching on my show Transform Your Mind. It is a radio, podcast and a television show.

Dr O.C Pringle: You're doing it all sister Young, you're doing it all right and so of course your inspiration would be your, life's experience, and, child abuse. let's talk about that.

Out of the Snares of Child Sexual Abuse

Myrna: I was, sexually abused, as a child in Guyana by a family friend. He was technically my Godfather, but being from a third world country, a very poor country and he was very rich.

We would call him a, pedophile, he showered me with a lot of attention, and bought me a lot of gifts and then took advantage of that.

I didn't realize that we were doing anything wrong until I became 13 and started having Boyfriends.

DR O.C Pringle: Until you became what? Wait how old were you?

Myrna: This, sexual abuse, began at age 10.

Dr O.C Pringle: Wow did anything ever happen to this guy?

Myrna: No, because like most children I didn’t say anything about it. I told no one. This book was my first experience talking about it and I in my 40’s when I wrote, Out of the Snares. My dad read the book and was very upset that he did not know this was going on.

Children carry a lot of shame regarding, sexual abuse, I still carried shame when I wrote, Out of the Snare. As you can see I used my maiden name Trotman for the author name.

Dr. O.C Pringle: So, you placed Myrna Bernadette Trotman on the cover of the book, because you didn't want people to know it was you, but your picture is on the cover!!

Myrna: I started to release shame when I started talking about the, sexual abuse, and when I learnt that children can’t give consent for sex. So whatever guilt and shame that I had attached to my, sexual abuse, I released it.

Dr O.C Pringle: Well listen it worked out for your good, but all things work together for the good of them that loved God and are called according to his, purpose, so your, sexual abuse, worked in your favor. You were able to redirect that energy into something positive where you're helping people all over the world. You're on radio and on television, yes you are some kind of a woman.

Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement

Self Improvement Book: Out of the Snares — Out of the Snares of poverty, and sexual abuse

So, let's talk some more about the book.

Myrna: Out of the Snares, is made up of 10 principles in life that we should live by:

Keep Your, Vision, in Front of you– Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of vision casting.
The events in your life whether good or bad, work together for good– God said I know your expected end. Stay the course; don't give up until you win.
Let the, Universal Laws of Attraction, the, Laws of Intention, work for you– Ask and it will be given unto you.
Have a, Positive Mindset– Take control of your thoughts and attitudes. Get rid of ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts)
Use what you have in your hand– You were created with a purpose; God gave you the skills and talents you need to complete your task. Stop waiting for the right time.

Be intentional about your Growth– Be proactive, be intentional, build on your gifts, and continually improve.
If you build it, they will come“ Be a servant first.
Find your Passion– it is the Fire in your belly. Become conscious of what lights you up. God put that Fire in your belly as a beacon to achieve your purpose.
Love– it is what makes this Human experience worthwhile. Love yourself first. Love is spirit, God is spirit.
Business Consciousness– how to create a startup company and succeed in marketing.

Additional Resources

Do You Have A Child Sexual Abuse Story? Break the Silence

Self love is the secret Out of the Snares of Child Abuse

Leadership, Life Coaching, Life Coaching Blog, lifecoaching, Love and Religion, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast

How to Cast A Stone to Defeat Your Enemy

August 5, 2021 Myrna Young

Have you guys ever wondered why David when he was going to fight, Goliath, carefully selected five, stones, even when he knew that he only needed one, stone, to kill, Goliath? The reason was he was confident. He was confident because he knew that God was with him. It didn’t matter that he was a little person and, Goliath, was a giant. He knew that God would help him to slay that giant, like God helped him slay lions. So he knew he needed one, stone, but he carefully selected, five stones, and that’s what we’re going to be talking about today.

Bishop Anthony Banks is going to talk to us how we can, select, stones, for battle and, cast these stones. We, cast stones, so that we can too can slay the giants in our life. Like David we can, slay the enemy, that is coming towards us. Just be sure, don't cast stones if you live in a glass house! So make sure you read or listen to end, because I never heard a message on this topic before and I have been a Christian for over 20 years. This is unique informative and content.

Listen to the Full interview Here

Bio Bishop Anthony W. Banks.

Bishop Anthony W. Banks is the associate pastor at Love and Faith Ministries of Snellville, Georgia and Director of the Christian Education. Bishop Banks is also the CEO and founder of Access for Change Community Development Corporation of Atlanta, the CEO trainer at the Change Institute of Atlanta where he provides an array of training and instruction in the area of ministry of helps to local ministries in need.

Bishop Banks is a visionary, who is committed to excellence in ministry. Banks also has a passion for reaching the lost and to make disciples for Christ who are changed for life as is going to be our topic today. Bishop is the author of the soon-to-be-released book, to Cast A Stone. So, we’re going to be talking about, casting stones. Bishop is going to explain why God gave him that message and why he wanted to share it with the world.

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What are the principles of Casting Stones

Myrna – The first question I want to ask you is what prompted you to write the book to, Cast A Stone?

Bishop Banks – Well, it was prompted out of a desire to have better understanding of reading the Bible. People usually send you to find what you need spiritually, but what I found is in my early days of reading the Bible. I didn’t really understand what the Bible was saying and so as I’ve matured and now provide training to ministers, I realized that I could make things simpler for people. So, it really was prompted out of that and as well the manuscript has been sitting on a computer for about nine-ten years.

So, I started thinking on some things and realized I need to go ahead and get this out and get it into the hands of people. The realization came about that people are missing a lot of times on what they need. We hold on so tightly to what God puts inside of us and we won’t release it out.

Miles Monroe encouraged me to write to Cast A Stone

To Cast A Stone, was born out of that and mainly I think Miles Monroe and encouraged me to get the book out. He told me that there are people who need to hear specifically from me. There are things that you’re holding as well that other people need to get and receive to make them better.

Myrna – Why this particular topic, To Cast a Stone?

Bishop Banks – Well To, Cast A Stone, has to do with the fact that in the scripture Elijah was told to go to a certain brook and he was told that at that particular brook he'll be sustained there.

What I've done is in this my book, I have provided information in, to cast a stone, that will sustain people if they’ll read it. So when you go into that place, your brook, you’ll find that there are things there that will help you when you encounter life situations. It will help you to move forward at this place and become sustained by GOD. To, Cast A Stone, offers a lot of encouragement. There are some specific things in the book that speak to leaders, young people, men and women. It’s very diverse.

Okay to, cast a stone, is to go in and find it and prepare yourself to cast it.

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David Casts a Stone to Kill Goliath

Myrna – Alright, so I thought that we were talking about when David picked up, five stones, to cast and kill, Goliath, did I misunderstood that?

Bishop Banks – No, you didn’t. There’s also a part of it, David, casting a stone, is a part of the book. David, cast a stone, using his faith in God. David is an example of the faith that's necessary to, defeat the enemy. When David picked up, five stones, he had to do that by faith because it's just a rock and he was up against a giant. You have a certain amount of faith, and David did the work, because he had to reach and get the stone, prepare to launch it and then, cast a stone. So, no, you didn't misunderstand.

The other part of to, Cast A Stone, speaks on Elijah at the brook, because the book is where you can go and be sustained as well. The actions that David took are the works and scripture tells us that faith without works is dead. If David had not got reached and gotten the, stones, then surely he'd have been dead. Goliath, would have killed him and fed his body to the dogs like he was threatening to do. But David did the work, he carefully chose his weapons, stones. He had the faith that God would show up and help him to kill, Goliath, with these, stones.

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Knowledge we gain from books is only power if we use it

The hardest thing for us to do sometimes is to crack the pages of a book, but it's work that has to be done. If you don't do that work, you'll have it sitting right there on your table. Whether it's the Bible or a book that someone's written, it'll be on your table. Everything you need is right there to slay whatever's in front of you. It'll sit there idle if you don't do the work of opening and cracking it. We all have to do work, we cannot change in life without doing the physical work.

Myrna – Haven’t you heard people say knowledge is not power until you use it? But the reason I was so interested in this particular topic is why do you think when David was looking for those smooth, stones?

Bishop Banks – Of course, what was he thinking of when he selected those, stones. Let's use the analogy for somebody right now that's preparing to slay a giant and they are selecting their tools or their weapons in order to slay the giant. We're not physically going into a brook or getting stoned.

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How can we use to Cast a Stone in Real Life

Myrna – So how can somebody use that information in real life?

Bishop Banks – Well, I think I would if I had to use it as an analogy. David would say that especially, spiritually speaking if you're reaching into the word of God to find specifically what you need. David will have us to understand he had a sense of weight when it came to the, stones, he chose. Also it said he chose smooth, stones, which means there could have been some rough ones there, but he knew the trajectory that he needed right from his experience of launching them. It wasn't going to work and so he may have used rough ones at a certain time for certain things, but he chose smooth, stones, for this giant.

I would say that even in scripture when you go into scripture, this is why the book is important because sometimes you can go in scripture and be so general on the surface. A lot of my own personal experiences also are in the book along with scripture that helped me to get through. I think that if people read the book they get in there, they'll find that there are things that they can launch out from their experiences. If you don't have experiences, I think when we read the Bible, we forget we check it as just a spiritual book, but those are people's literal experiences. We have to sometimes look at exactly what they were going through and not just one verse, but exactly what led up to that.

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Use your Life experiences when choosing your Stones

You see, even with David, His experience was that of a shepherd. What I mean, he was coming to bring lunch to his brothers, he wasn't expecting to, fight a giant, but when he got there he realized there's something here that is against what God's doing. So, he went and found what he needed and I say to people find what you need. People can suggest the scripture to you, but it may not fit what you need right. You have to find what you need specifically and then, cast that stone. We know that the launching part of it or the casting part of it, David had a slingshot. We have our mouth.

Life and death is in the power of the tongue, but you got to have the right words or, stones, to speak.

I would say clearly, going into the word and finding specifically the, stones, that you need to launch for the giant that you're facing is important. I mean because you know life and death is in the tongue and we can use words as our weapons and that is what I've heard preached many times and which is what I also use in my life. Your words are the descriptors that you stand on, the things that you say out of your mouth is what is you're going to launch to the enemy.

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What is the method we can use to cast a stone?

Myrna – That's good, I get it. One of the questions I have here for you Bishop, is what is the method that we can use to, cast a stone? We talked about finding the scripture that pertains to your particular situation. What pertains to the giant that you're fighting right now, one is scripture. So what are some of the other methods that we can use to find our, stones?

Bishop Banks – Well, I think mustering up your, faith. There's a situation in scripture where the disciples had issues and they thought Jesus was going to do something, move something around for them. He (Jesus) said I pray that your, faith, don't fail you, but it didn't change the situation. The same thing that you're going to launch out, I think with David his faith would have failed him. He never would have launched it because thought would have come into his mind that, casting a stone, was not going to kill a giant.

You've only got one, stone, you have had a certain amount of, faith, with that and I think faith is the key to any launching or, casting a stone. It'd be like throwing a baseball. If you're a pitcher, you pitch the ball now you can just throw the ball anywhere and not even go near where the batter is or you can throw that thing specifically at the target at the catcher's glove.

You see and you know if you throw it there and I think, faith, is like that. You have to launch it in the direction you want it to go and then on top of that what I said a minute ago you've got to be specific about where you're throwing it. You just can't throw it into the air and hope that something happens because, faith, doesn't work that way. I think that's what I would say is, faith is the key.

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How Leaders can use To Cast a Stone

Myrna – Okay, so that's awesome. You have a book and you talk about the brook that sustained Elijah.

You talked about the, stones, that you cast, it has to be going directly to the target you've got.
To have faith to know that when you, cast a stone, it's going to slay your giant or enemy

Myrna – What are some of the other things that you want the readers to walk away with in your book? I know that your ministry involves leaders, you also train ministers. You talk about them being disciples and also I'm pretty sure you talked about some of your personal stories that are in there. Now, tell us about the book. What you want people to walk away after reading the book?

Bishop Banks – Sure, I think you know the thing that I believe should happen once you read the book or come out of the book, is that you should be changed. Okay you absolutely should be changed. There's no way you would read, to Cast A Stone, and not come out with something of substance. I know it's substance because of my experiences that I've had in life that I share in the book.

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Conclusion

Myrna – Let's talk about your ministry. I know that you mention that you teach, you teach discipleships to people, but you also have a speaking ministry. So tell us how someone can get in touch with you for speaking engagements, to help them sustain wherever they're at, to help them, cast a stone, I mean all of that.

Bishop Banks – I do speak at leadership conferences and not just at ministries, I also can provide information to people in the business sector. When I say that I train leaders, it's not just church leaders. I can go into any setting and speak to leaders about leading. Not only that, I can also go in there and work with teams to pull teams together. I'm really good at that and so people can reach me at my email address anthonybanks1938@gmail.com or my phone number – 770-572-0547.

I'm glad to come and help any way. I can and I've really been trying to help ministries to grow. I’m currently at Loving Faith Ministries. I'm glad to come and speak in any situations whether it's young people, or older people, whatever business, it doesn't matter. I'm open to coming to speak at those engagements or marriage. I tell you, if you can work with teams in a teen situation sure where everybody wants to go their own way, then you can definitely work with organizational leadership as far as David goes you know you need to choose the, stones, that you are going to throw at the giant.

Myrna – Once again thanks for downloading this podcast, please remember to subscribe, rate and review if you found this content inspirational. Until next time blessings.

Additional Resources

The Events in Life Work Together for Your Good