Learn How to Get Back to Basics With These 7 Core Values

Personal Core values

In order to transform your life, you must first transform your, mindset, by getting, back to basics. The principle here is that there’s a, mindset connection, that we need to make for these seven elements to become our, core values.

The reason that people are not activating the, basics,  in their life is because there isn’t a personal, connection. The, mindset, happens before any strategy or tactic can form our, core values.

My guest today is  T.J Loeffler is a transformational coach and author.

Listen to the full interview here: 

 

T.J realized the right path is actually a change in, mindset, so he wrote the book “Back To Basics: How To Get More Out Of Your Life by Doing Less Than You Think” T.J’s seminar called “Welcome to Yourself” was inspiration from God about establishing our, core values.

 

Our identity “who am I” as the first step in “Welcome to Yourself. Our identity does shape our decisions which then shapes our legacy,  our day-to-day priorities and our, core values.

 

Your past equals your present, if you keep stumbling and hitting your foot on the same thing, until you clarify it and see it, you’re going to continue doing that.

Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

How do we go from “Welcome To Yourself” to “back to basics”?

T.J – Success is really about progress not perfection. Getting, back to basics, started because I was burned out. I was exhausted, and I needed to heal. I realized that until I went through the process of actually healing, changing and growing myself, there would be no way I’d be able help somebody else. I needed to reflect on my, core values.

Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV
Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV

That’s how, back to basics, came about, it’s like put on your mask first.  You’ve got to heal yourself. You’ve got to be able to become whole again by focusing on your, core values.

The seven Core Value System

I teach about the seven, core values, elements or the, core pillar, system.

These are the key elements in the, back-to-basics,  model.

 

  • Diet
  • Sleep
  • Movement
  • Active rest
  • Reflection
  • Connection
  • Fun

How do we define FUN

Fun, is an interesting one, somebody who’s reading this might say okay that sounds kind of cheesy; but let me tell you exactly what I mean. People who grew up in homes where there was extreme anxiety or anxiousness, guess what goes first, fun.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

So, people who don’t know how to return to joy in their life, might have grown up in an environment that was not necessarily healthy, and they learned how to cope with that by doing things that are no longer working for them, like over working.  So when you use that, fun, tool of, back to basics, it puts the, fun, back into your life.

Connection and Back to Basics

The principle here is that there’s a, mindset connection, that we need to make to these seven elements our, core values.

The reason that people are not activating the, basics,  and, core values, in their life is because there isn’t a personal, connection. The, mindset, happens before any strategy or tactic.

So, when you’re asking how do people get, back to basics?  The first thing you need to do is to recognize the need to prioritize your, core values.

I would prioritize my day, when I didn’t know what I was doing.  I was trying to figure out how do you grow a business; how to get more clients? I prioritized learning how to eat right, and eat on time and have enough energy in my own life.

Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts
Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts

A Healthy Diet is a Core Value

Diet – If you don’t eat right, you have no energy.

When it comes to vitamins and minerals, you’re probably looking for the bottom line: How much do you need, and what foods have them? The list below will help you out. It covers all the vitamins and minerals you should get, preferably from food. Calcium Foods that have it: Milk, fortified nondairy alternatives like soy milk, yogurt, hard cheeses, fortified cereals, unfortified almond milk, kaleHow much you need:

  • Adults ages 19-50: 1,000 milligrams per day
  • Women age 51 and older: 1,200 milligrams per day
  • Men age 51 – 70: 1,000 milligrams per day
  • Men 71 and older: 1,200 milligrams per day

What it does: Needed for bone growth and strength, blood clotting, muscle contraction, and more

Don’t get more than this a day: 2,500 milligrams per day for adults age 50 and younger, 2,000 mg per day for those 51 and older

Choline

Foods that have it: Milk, liver, eggs, peanuts

How much you need:

  • Men: 550 milligrams per day
  • Women: 425 milligrams per day
  • Pregnant women: 450 milligrams per day
  • Breastfeeding women: 550 milligrams per day
What it does: Helps make cells Don’t get more than this much: 3,500 milligrams per day

Sleep is important to reduce Stress and is a core value

Sleep – If you don’t, sleep, then you can’t function. Movement and exercise that’s obviously very important to, fun.

 

Highly successful people can have all the money in the bank and  still can’t have, fun.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict
Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

What’s the difference between active rest and sleep?

When you’re actually sleeping, there’s a fluid that washes over our brain and actually, helps us detoxify or take out some of the toxic thoughts that are built up as proteins in our brain.  So, if we’re chronically under-slept, we’re allowing this protein not to do its job.

I don’t know if this is a scientific parallel equivalent, but you could think about this protein as kind of plaque buildup in your brain. If we are not sleeping well enough, if we’re not sleeping long enough, we’re not getting the cleansing that needs to happen in our brain, so we end up with what negative thinking.

If we continue over to, active rest, a lot of people that we’re working with are hyperactive. Hyperactive is the opposite of hypoactive, so when you think about hypoactive that’s more like reclusive or lazy.

People who are wired to be hyperactive or have taught themselves that this is how I get through hard situations that’s not a bad thing, however your body is not meant to be in a state of fight flight or freeze.  So unless we can move from sympathetic tone towards parasympathetic tone or from fight flight to rest and digest state, our body is not going to be able to process things the right way.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Fight Flight or Freeze prevents digestion

For example, your nutrients from your food. You can eat all the kale and salmon you want, but if your body is in, fight flight, or freeze state you’re not going to be digesting that food properly.

So, active rest, helps you down regulate, it helps you go from that state of, fight flight or freeze, where you might be anxious or you might be shallow mouth breathing to a state where you’re more rested while awake.

Body meditation is now a trend, because people are over stimulated and they need a way to effectively down regulate. Here’s the key it’s like you’re hijacking your body your mind and your body have a, connection, that you need to make and many people have lost that, connection.

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Download on iTunes

Active Rest is not Meditation

Active rest, helps you kind of re-establish that as does movement and other things.

The, mind-body connection, is what yoga does.

We’re coming through a, pandemic, it’s going on now for over a year.  Many people might be feeling the consequences of that. You can feel isolated and alone in a city of 8 million people.

The key for, connection, is not quantity it is quality. The problem is people try and find, connection, through others before finding, connection,  with God.  It’s not that you can’t have, connection, with God through others, but it’s that there’s an intimate personal encounter that God wants to have with us.

Connection to God should be a core value

We host the presence of God, you’re connected to him wherever you go, but there’s really a development and cultivation that needs to happen to learn how to host the presence of God.

 

A lot of people do not understand the authority they have over the atmosphere in their home for example. They do not understand the awareness, or they don’t have the awareness to understand the environments that they’re entering into every single day.

 

I think research has shown that we do need people, it’s nice to have a relationship with God, but we actually do need people.

 

What is your research on loneliness?

 

Even though you might be spiritually connected to God, you still need people.

 

Tell our listeners how they can connect with you. You said that your book is delayed, but tell us about your first book and your website, coaching and your podcast.

Conclusion

If anybody listening or reading, first I hope first and foremost you receive what was shared today from Myrna and me as seeds. That’s my encouragement to you that when you receive seeds, you can let those seeds grow to trees and over time you know that is really something that you look at in your life. Let those seeds become your, core values.

 

If you want more seeds, you can go to my site is tjloeffler.com and there you’ll find not only the podcast, but you’ll also find access to everything else that Myrna mentioned, and the podcast is just a great way to start. The podcast is a great way to continue working on your mindset. My podcast is called Mindset with T.J Loefler.

 

You can listen to the podcast or you can purchase the book from my website corepillars.com. It’s called “Back to basics how to get more out of life by doing less than you think” teaching you the, core pillar, system.

 

I also want to invite you guys to join my Facebook group Lifecoach. If you have not done so already please subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review.

 

My team and I were referencing this scripture and I would like to leave this with you. I believe this will be encouraging to somebody who’s reading this blog.

 

1 Timothy 6:6, NIV: “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” … 1 Timothy 6:6, NLT: “Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth.”

 

When we find contentment with what we have and no need for more, we know that we can truly rest in God’s presence, however I would also say if you’re reading this and you do have a desire for more, that’s a healthy desire.

 

So, godliness with contentment is great, but you don’t have to be satisfied, there’s more out there so keep going.

Additional Resources

Ask Coach Myrna: How to Start Over?

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

 

How to Release Childhood Trauma of Guilt Shame

Healing ourselves from Childhood Trauma

Trauma, is a shock to the, nervous system. And when, childhood trauma, is stored instead of released, it can cause physical and, mental health, issues down the road. When, trauma, occurs,  in an effort of protection, your brain temporarily pauses your memory processing system, and the experience is not stored as traditional memories.

Today I am talking with Emily Francis. Emily  is the best selling author of “Healing Ourselves Whole”

Listen to the full interview here:

 

Healing Ourselves Whole will give you the tools you need to clean your emotional house from top to bottom, complete with journal prompts and access to audio meditations for you to listen along to as you read.

As a trained, body worker, Emily Francis offers a refreshing perspective into healing, trauma. She reveals unique knowledge of the body as a holder for memory. Emily will lead you on a path deep within yourself to rearrange the ways that, pain, and, trauma, have been holding you back from whole body, mind, spirit, and, energy healing. You will rearrange the dialogue within your body memory systems as well as learn a practice to re-birth by healing your, inner child, and adolescent selves, coming into the present to create the best adult self possible.

This groundbreaking interactive book contains a journal and access to audio meditations for you to listen to as you read. The meditations will help you dig deep into past, trauma, and discover when and how, trauma, took root. Learn to get in touch with various parts of the physical and, energy body, and how to use them to let go of stored, traumas, and rediscover the deeply held joys that have also been stored within the body. From this, you will learn to live from a new mindful and powerful space.

book: Healing Ourselves Whole from trauma
book: Healing Ourselves Whole

How to release trauma from the body

My Psychotherapist told me to do something called catch and release. Which means whenever you catch yourself being triggered by past, trauma. This happens whenever you begin to feel bad, and you are not sure why. Whenever you feel your body going into reaction mode,  breathe in and then release it.  This allows the feelings you have stuffed down to come out.

Myrna – Emily can you share with our readers how they can  to us start to release, traumatic experiences, from their body?

Emily – In my book, Healing Ourselves Whole, I help my readers put their own hands on their body. When I am helping my clients in person, I help them, release trauma,  in their body by putting my hands on their body to help them locate where the, trauma, had gone in, or the shame, or the guilt.

Why our bodies hold Trauma

Our muscles and tissues store the memory of, trauma.  They also store memories of Joy.  That’s my work; but I couldn’t write a book and teach you how to do Hands On Healing, so I wrote a book teaching you how to dialogue inside your body.  This book “Healing Ourselves Whole” has a chapter for every emotion we hold in our body. We go through a 15 to 20-minute meditation on releasing, body trauma.

The workbook included with the book allows you to journal and go through all the senses to find the, trauma, carrot or the shame carrot or the guilt or grief. I teach you through this book how to do the body work by yourself. I’m not a therapist, so some behaviors and thoughts still need to be treated by, hypnosis therapy, like EMDR.

I work on the part of the body that is holding the, pain, and blocking the healing, so you still need your, cognitive therapist.

Childhood trauma and body trauma are connected

I have some, childhood trauma, and I know that until I became conscious that I was stuffing things down instead of understanding my emotions, I never understood that my, childhood trauma, was influencing my present. My, childhood trauma, also affected my relationships earlier in life before I was able to start to release them.

This is a great topic on releasing, chronic pain, because some people go to their graves not understanding that their quality of life was hampered by, what happened to them. Sometimes the, wounds, were only from, childhood, but relationships earlier in their lives eg.  lovers, friends, teachers etc.

Emily, what made you become a wellness expert?

I graduated undergraduate with a science and, wellness, degree then I went on to become an aerobic yoga instructor. Then I started suffering from extreme panic attacks and agoraphobia, so I went from loving to be on the stage, to not wanting to leave my house.  I was a college cheerleader, I worked out every day, I was at the gym three to five hours a day teaching different classes and I was like rocking.

The more crowded the better.  I fed off the energy and then I turned twenty-five!  I stopped drinking and the mask dropped and the crazy came up. All the, pain, that I had stuff down came to a flying head and I had to stop myself from extreme anxiety and panic attacks.

It took seven years for me to understand that the reason for my anxiety and panic attacks were because of, childhood trauma, that I had stuffed down. I missed a lot of my hot years as a young adult because I couldn’t hang out with friends or go to bars without feeling like I was crazy.  I really stepped away from life and just sat out and watched life pass me by. My, mental health, was of grave concern to me.  I prayed a lot.  I did a lot of intensive work, meditative work.  I went to a million different, healers.  if I heard of something for, body trauma, I was there.  I went through 7 years of, holistic therapy, and nothing worked until I finally broke down and tried a child’s dose of an antidepressant.

When I was able to heal myself, I want to share and that is why I wrote the book Healing Ourselves Whole

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Can medications help with Childhood Trauma?

After 7 years of looking for a treatment, I came across a book by a psychotherapist named Tom Rutledge.  He suggested medications. I tried it and it worked for me. The antidepressant worked because it regulated my brain and here is the thing that I learnt from Tom.  I was reading his book and embracing fear and I decided to write this letter to him. I wrote that I was a big phony and a liar, and I’ve been writing all these years and it was  just crap.  I am crap and I wrote this long letter.  It was like reading my autobiography. I just wrote out all the things I had been telling myself all these years.

Tom Rutledge replied that I should consider medication. He said that we must first regulate the brain before we can start the healing process and suggested that we should try medication. I rejected medication, because it goes against everything, I believe in.  It goes against my holistic principal, it was a Band-Aid. I said no I’m not interested, and he wrote back. He said there’s a part that I think you’ve missed, the brain and the mind are not the same thing.  The mind is where your thoughts and behaviors are, the brain is an organ in your body. It’s like your heart or your liver or kidneys.  You would not hesitate to take medication if your heart or liver or kidneys were malfunctioning.

But, mental illness, comes with a stigma. People hesitate to take medication because they feel it makes them crazy. Antidepressants are just something to regulate your brain. The brain is an organ and you’re missing some chemicals in your brain and that is the reason for the anxiety and panic attacks.  Once you get that regulated all the work that you’ve done because you’ve done significant with healers will be able to come through.

Book: Hollywood endings How to get one
Book: Hollywood endings How to get one

Hollywood Endings and How to Get One

 Yes, you can create what you want with imagination an intention. The movie themes the world loves are few and simple; they are the themes that have been portrayed over and over since Hollywood began to make movies. These classics have the most wonderful endings: love overcomes all; good defeats evil; the wayward child comes home. Anyone can be a hero, and everyone has a Guardian Angel.

Hollywood Endings – Using Imagination and Intention is about self-awareness, recovery and enlightenment. It’s for anyone who has ever wanted or dreamed of having a “Hollywood ending.” It is for those of us who never had a role model to show us how it’s done. It celebrates the wonder of the movies and urges us to see movies once to be entertained, and then return to see them again to learn from them. We all deserve a Hollywood ending. This book can show you how with life lessons from Dances With Wolves, National Velvet, Die Hard, and The Color Purple, to name a few.

Rewrite your own story and give it a Hollywood ending.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Trauma gets stuck in the body

Trauma, gets attached to your tissues, because the experience of stress, particularly, childhood trauma, causes stress and can trigger active survival responses of fight, flight, or freeze. When your, body trauma, can’t activate or complete these responses, those sensations become trapped in your nervous system.

Trauma, is a shock to the, nervous system. And when that, trauma, is stored instead of released, it can cause physical and, mental health, issues down the road. When, trauma, occurs,  in an effort of protection, your brain temporarily pauses your memory processing system, and the experience is not stored as traditional memories.

Instead of being stored as a complete memory, traumatic experiences are thought to be stored as fragments of pictures of, body sensations or, body trauma.  These fragments are unprocessed and thus don’t fit in the system as they should. Because they don’t fit, these fragments can surface unexpectedly as nightmares, flashbacks, or general angst and unease. Most of the time you don’t know why you are feeling uneasy.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

How to Release Trauma Trapped in the Body

International Trauma-Healing Institute founder Gina Ross has developed a simple process called Emotion Aid. Here is a summary of those steps you can use to begin to,  release trauma, trapped in your body.

  1. First, assess where you are: rate your stress or upset from a low of 1 to a high of 7. If it is high, first practice the following Grounding Steps.
    1. Begin by Butterfly Hugging and Tapping– hug yourself and then alternately tap on your arms, from side to side, 25 times. Then take a deep breath. Repeat this until your stress level begins to drop noticeably.
    2. Next, Send Roots into the Ground. Notice your feet or, if your seated, your back, buttocks, and back of your legs in the chair.  Now notice your feet or lower body being firmly connected to the floor, then to the ground, like roots going deep into the earth. Take a deep breath. Then gaze about the room and notice objects or textures about the room, remaining connected to your “roots.”
    3. Finally, Notice Breathing: Put one hand on your chest and one hand your belly. Now just be with your breath, not trying to change it, but just noticing the rhythm of it. Then make a heart shape with your fingertips and bring awareness to your beating heart.

How to discharge body trauma

  1. Now begin to Discharge Sensations and Release Stress.
    1. First, notice your breath and Breathe Notice any sensations that come up naturally. As you release, trauma, and  stress hormones, they will present through sensations like shaking, heat, sweating, yawning, goosebumps, changed breath, and gurgling in the stomach. Be curious about the feelings and be with them, and they will naturally discharge. Do not judge or critique what you are feeling or sensing.
    2. Next, briefly review the, childhood trauma, or troubling thoughts that lead to the sensations. As you review, notice the Feelings that come up as you consider what happened. It’s important to go slow so that you’re only allowing the activation of one feeling at a time. Just be with it and give it plenty of time. Then notice the discharge that emerges as you follow the sensations. (Know that you can temporarily set aside sensations and emotions that you are not focusing on at the moment. For example, imagine putting them on a shelf for the moment.)
    3. Then work with the Thoughts. Again, as you notice one thought at a time, observe the sensations that show up with these thoughts. Let go of the judgment or criticism. Just be present and continue to observe what happens next and experience the sensations discharging and releasing from the body.
    4. Now notice and bring to awareness Resources. A resource is anything that feels strong and calm to you. These can be external (for example, the kind eyes of a good friend) or internal (perhaps the memory of a personal achievement). As you recall or hold these resources notice the sensations that show up in your body. Take a few minutes to feel the sense of calm and strength in your body.

Conclusion

Listen to Emily radio show All About Healing 

Subscribe to the Transform your Mind Radio Podcast and TV show on iTunes, Spotify, or any of the podcast players

If you would like daily inspiration on how to transform your life, I invite you to join my Facebook group Lifecoach

Additional Resources

Drug and Alcohol Treatment for Women with Trauma

How to Write Your Own Hollywood Ending

Hollywood ending life story

A lot of times if you believe it and pray about it your, Hollywood movie, will turn out exactly the way that you want it to be. If we use our imagination, we can create our, Hollywood ending. Think of that bad job you are in and create your, Hollywood movie, with your own, Hollywood ending with you in your dream job, in your dream relationship and your dream family.  First you must have the baseline of, self-awareness, then you use your imagination to write the script. Where do I want to get to, what’s my goal?  You are the Director, Producer and star of your Life Movie.

My guest today is Linda Flanders, Author of “Hollywood Endings and How to Get One”

Years ago, my pastor preached a message that when we’re born there is a blank page.  We have a beginning, and we have an ending and in the middle we are supposed to write our story. We are the director of our life movie, producer and the Star in our, Hollywood ending.

Listen to the full interview Here 

Writing your Hollywood Ending

Yes, you can create what you want with imagination an intention. The movie themes the world loves are few and simple; they are the themes that have been portrayed over and over since Hollywood began to make movies. These classics have the most wonderful endings: love overcomes all; good defeats evil; the wayward child comes home. Anyone can be a hero, and everyone has a Guardian Angel.

Hollywood Endings – Using Imagination and Intention is about self-awareness, recovery and enlightenment. It’s for anyone who has ever wanted or dreamed of having a “Hollywood ending.” It is for those of us who never had a role model to show us how it’s done. It celebrates the wonder of the movies and urges us to see movies once to be entertained, and then return to see them again to learn from them. We all deserve a Hollywood ending. This book can show you how with life lessons from Dances With Wolves, National Velvet, Die Hard, and The Color Purple, to name a few.

Book: Hollywood endings How to get one
Book: Hollywood endings How to get one

Rewrite your own story and give it a Hollywood ending.

Linda has been a, FeldenKrais, practitioner for 30 years and an independent video producer. Flanders and her sister Dr Dorothy Halla-Poe created the, matrix model, an innovative way to work with children’s atypical behavior and, learning disabilities.  They specialized in using the, filmmaking, process as a learning and teaching tool, focusing on projects that are educational and promote social and personal change.

Myrna – I love the idea of using the, Hollywood movie, and, filmmaking, process as a learning tool to help children with, learning disabilities.  Can you share how that works.

Linda – I am a, Feldenkrais, practitioner and have been for 30 years and while that particular mode of learning has to do with learning, self-awareness, and learning through options.  I started working with young children who needed physical therapy and occupational therapy; but their behavior was such that they were absolutely out of control and scared the, physical therapist, on the, occupational therapist.

I started working with children behavior focusing specifically on self-awareness and self-control. If we have those two things, we can pretty much guide our own, Hollywood ending. If we do not have them, then we are vulnerable to so many awful things that can happen in our life.  If we cannot control ourselves and become the, Director, in our own, Hollywood movie, somebody else is going to control us.

 

I started using making, movies, as a fun activity with children and what I found was that even with multiple, psychiatric labels, attached to them and very bizarre behaviors, they all listened to the, director, if they played a part in a, movie.

 

When they had a camera in their face and the, director, said do this; they did it without hesitation. No attitude or behavioral issues. The children also loved watching themselves over and over in their, Hollywood movie. Science has shown that kids watching themselves act a certain way reinforces new neural pathways in their brain of new behavior.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

The, Feldenkrais method, is an educational way of learning to teach self-awareness.

Myrna – I understand the behavioral piece in making a, Hollywood movie; but I don’t understand how making a, movie, helps children with, learning disabilities.

Linda – In making our, Hollywood movie, I had them freeze for the camera while I ran around with the camera to a different angle, because that’s how a, Hollywood movie,  is made.

The children had to be in the, present moment, and they had to control themselves from the inside out. That is the huge piece of, self-control, and if they can gain, self-control, then they’ve got a better opportunity in school to be able to learn the different topics that they needed to learn.

In making a, Hollywood movie, they became much more aware of themselves and what they could do and what they couldn’t do. When they fell apart and got angry or sad or wanted to be the star of the, Hollywood movie, those issued had to be worked out during the filming of the, movie.

Myrna – That’s great and innovative. I hope teachers who are listening will take some cues from you because now we all can make, Hollywood movies, with our cell phones!

Hollywood Endings and How to Get One

Let’s transition into your book.  You wrote the book “Hollywood Endings and How to Get One” Tell us what would you like the readers to walk away with after reading your book.

Linda – Absolutely, it is a, self-help book, or a, self-improvement book. It teaches, mindfulness, helps with raising, self-awareness, on topics like “are you happy” “are you content with your job” etc.

The book teaches the science of, mindfulness, of paying attention to the moment, so you are fully present. In the science world this is called, neuroplasticity.  Change your brain, change your life.

If we use our imagination, we can create our, Hollywood ending. You think of that bad job you are in and create your, Hollywood movie, with your own, Hollywood ending. First you must have the baseline of, self-awareness, then you use your imagination to write the script. Where do I want to get to, what’s my goal?

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Your Hollywood Ending doesn’t have to be romantic

The idea of the, Hollywood ending, is not necessarily a romantic one, it could be any goal you have. If you reach that goal that’s a, Hollywood ending.

Myrna – When you were talking my mind went directly to the, Hollywood movie, Pretty Woman.

The movie started with the words, Hollywood, where dreams were made, anything is possible in, Hollywood! It ended with the same words.

But in the movie specifically Julia Roberts had a dream. She had a dream of her own, Hollywood ending.   She actually told Richard Gere in the movie hey “all the time I was dreaming you about my Prince Charming, I would dream I would be locked up into this room in this castle and the prince would climb up and he would rescue me. Nowhere in my, Hollywood ending, did he say I’m going to put you up in a condo as my mistress.

It’s really true, if you’ve got a goal and you’ve got a dream of your movie of life having a, Hollywood ending, it’s very hard for someone to knock you off of it.  Which is why she didn’t accept that offer which she said was a good offer for a girl like her.

She had gained, self-awareness, in that whole process of being a highly paid call girl for a week.

Linda – In the book I do explain the three systems of the brain.  I’m not a, neuroscientist;  but the information’s out there,  I  simply simplified it.

The Brain Systems

  1. The producer brain, because without a producer you don’t have a, Hollywood movie. The producer brain is the, reptilian brain, and that keeps us breathing. It keeps our heart beating. So, we don’t have a lot of control over that one
  2. The, limbic system, is the home of the emotions and we can live there we can, but we can also get stuck there. You can become a drama queen always reacting to life instead of working in the direction we want to go.
  3. The cerebral cortex, the Director brain. That’s where we plan, where we use our own judgment, where we use our common sense, our reasoning.

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Download on Spotify

There’s another movie that Julia Roberts was in called “Sleeping with the Enemy” where she is in a very abusive domestic violence situation.  I talk about that movie in my book, because if you can’t leave a situation, you can watch that movie and get ideas to leave your situation.

In the, Hollywood movie, she planned her escape. She learnt to swim, she selected her disguises so her husband could not find her, she picked a place that she would live. She imagined her, Hollywood ending. She set all the pieces in order first, then she made her escape and that’s what I’m teaching in the book.  We could use, Hollywood movies, and our imagination to write our own, Hollywood ending.

Myrna – So you want readers to walk away with the vision that they can direct their lives. They can plan it out, they can be a director, the producer of their own lives, because their life is like a, Hollywood movie.

Linda – Yes, each chapter there is a list of a few things to do. The first one is go watch a, Hollywood movie, but I want you to watch this movie through this lens, so that you’re watching the movie from a different perspective.  You’re gaining awareness from watching that movie. For example in the, Hollywood movie, Die Hard, with Bruce Willis.

In that movie there are places where Bruce Willis is so emotionally distraught, that he’s not thinking.  He throws some C4 down an elevator chute without recognizing that it’s gonna explode and where’s that explosion gonna come?  It’s gonna come right back up the chute into his face. That’s an example of us doing something without thinking of the consequences which blows up in our face.

Myrna – I don’t know much about movies or directing, but I know as a, Life coach, I always teach that we’re the director of our own lives, because we make the decisions and direct our choices.

What is the FeldenKrais Method

One of the things within, Feldenkrais model, is taught through movement.  We teach awareness, options and choice, but these lessons are taught through the avenue of movement.  One of the classic lessons in the, Feldenkrais, community is called a pelvic clock. It’s the ability to get your pelvis moving in all the different directions of a clock.  It’s better to be able to move a little bit in all these directions than a whole lot just one way, so it’s definitely the opposite of one-way thinking.

In my work with children I teach them how to create a clock from clay. They have to make the clock and they have to make the one, two, three, four all the way to twelve.  Then they have to make a little person and put the person in the center of the clock.  The idea what if you altered your behavior just a little bit. Just a little bit to move to the next number on the clock.  Step by step by step. You don’t have to stop doing something just change it a little bit.

It could be drug use, overeating or alcohol in adults. The idea is its okay if you can’t completely stop drinking but can you cut back a little bit with awareness. If you can’t make a small change, then you become aware that you have a real problem.

It’s this intertwining of movement and thinking with our emotions that get tied up in this knot and through the Feldenkrais method of movement and awareness you can break those up and then make small changes.  Transformation comes faster because you’ve incorporated movement as well as thinking and emotions.

FeldenKrais Method uses movement to achieve change 

Myrna – Yes that is the mind and body connection as taught in Yoga.

Linda – If we want to become the director in our own, Hollywood movie, then this is simply a way that we can do it.  Shakespeare said that “the whole world is a stage and we’re just actors on it”

Myrna – In this day and age everybody’s got a camera, people are making big money just recording on their smart phones. You do not need the big fancy movie camera to record your own, Hollywood movie.

 

Free Feldenkrais Summit

From May 1st through May 10th there is a free online Feldenkrais summit that you want to invite our listeners and TV audience.

It’s an international summit, so for those whole two weeks you have presentations that come from, Feldenkrais, practitioners around the world who have taken their work and specialized in it.  You can learn about using this method to help with trauma. There is trauma from anyone who is victimized and has been traumatized.

Some have taken, Feldenkrais, into working with world-class athletes and top performers.

Some have taken it literally into working with animals. Linda Tellington Jones can do amazing things with animals.

I took it into behavior, so it could be applied in a whole bunch of different ways.

So, the summit has all these different international speakers. It is literally 24 hours of

Feldonkrais, awareness through movement.

It’s all free so it’s an opportunity for people to experience the, Feldenkrais method, and break up those muscular patterns so you can feel better. Because when you move better, you can feel better.

 

Register on www.feldenkraissummit.com

Conclusion

In closing a, Hollywood movie, I am going to suggest everybody go watch the, Hollywood movie, Baby Boom with Diane Keaton because in an instant she a New York executive and literally overnight she becomes a single parent of a toddler who had lost her parents.

She took the circumstances of her life and created her own, Hollywood ending.

It you found this content inspirational, Please remember to subscribe and leave a review on iTunes.  You are invited to join my private Facebook Group called “Lifecoach

Additional Resources

 

5 Mindset Shifts For Couples to Have Fantastic Relationships

mindset shifts for long term relationships

If you want a fantastic, relationship, with your significant other, you need some mindset shifts, from thinking like a girlfriend to thinking like his wife.

Mindset shifts or, transformation, is necessary if your belief system is not producing the results you are expecting in life. As a Life and, Transformation, Coach, I wanted to share some, mindset, transformations about relationships that may get you better results.

5 Mindset Shifts

1. What is the right reason to enter into a long term relationship?

Most of us (including me before I was enlightened) feel that we should enter into a long term commitment because we “fell” in love.
Others may enter into a long term, relationship, like marriage because they want children; they want security or even to stem loneliness. But, according to Neale Donald Walsch from the “Conversations with God” series, we should put a little more thought into choosing a long term partner than feelings.

 

We should enter into a long term partnership for a mutually beneficial purpose.

I was watching an very old episode of Oprah a few weeks ago and she was interviewing the Smith’s. I was so impressed with Will Smith and Jada Pinketh Smith’s philosophy on marriage and family. They had a mutually beneficial purpose for their, relationship, and it continues today. They have family meetings every week to keep the purpose of the marriage and family in front of them.

Their purpose for getting together was to enhance the lives of others and they do that by always choosing work that inspires others.
And even though we have heard many rumors of the marriage failing, it is still standing because their purpose for it is greater than the two of them.

  • So when two people enter in a, long term relationship, they have the, mindset, to figure out the Why? What is the mutually beneficial purpose?
    Are they wanting to bring up children for a purpose?
    Like Will and Jada Smith
    -Are they wanting to enhance Gods kingdom?
    Like Joel and Victoria Osteen
    -Are they going to change the world through leadership?
    Like Barack and Michelle Obama?

If the purpose is strong it will be like a house built on the rocks, it will withstand the storms

Why relationships Fail

2. Mindset Shifts, Why do relationships fail?
Statistics show that, relationships, fail because of failed expectations.
Most, relationships, start out with each party having predefined expectations about what they want out of the relationship and what they want from the other person.

Contrary to popular opinion another person cannot complete you, you must complete yourself.

The bible teaches that it is not if another person will disappoint, but when. So when you enter into a, relationship, and its survival is based on what the other person does, says, etc. You will always be disappointed.

Mindset shifts,  is necessary to become the best you, to make sure you are living up to your ideal self because we can never change another person, we can only change ourselves.
For example, there is conflict over a wife’s expectation that her husband takes her out on romantic dinners once per month. She is waiting on him to make the offer and he doesn’t, instead he goes out with his friends and leaves her at home with the kids.
She has several options:
Sulking, picking a fight, going out with her girlfriends – none of which heals the relationship – or she can Give That Which She Wants.
She can take him to dinner, she can cook a romantic dinner and send the kids to the babysitter. She can respond with love.

Anything you want, you first have to give.

Mindset Shift – Take care of yourself First

3. Mindset shifts: – Become self-centered.
I know this is going to shock some, because we were all brought up to believe that being selfish and self-centered is bad; but not according to the bible! The bible teaches that we must love others as we love ourselves.

Our first relationship must be with self.

We must learn to honor and cherish self and love ourselves before we can love another.
We can never truly fall in love with another, until we have truly fallen in love with ourselves.
I know women are always sacrificing self for others, they think it makes for a good relationship; but it has the opposite effect.

They get burnt out and then resentment sets in. Then they start to resent their spouse for doing nothing. They cultivated that attitude.
The old saying that you have to train people how to treat you is truth. You start off doing all the work in the home, looking after the kids, doing all the cooking, while your spouse drinks beer and watch TV, then 5 years later when you are burnt out. You shouldn’t blame your spouse!

You should be self centered and make time in the day for your self.
Get up and go to the gym, walk, pray or meditate.
Make time in the evening to reflect, learn something, relax!
Everyone around you will benefit.

4. Mindset shifts:   – Being hurt and disappointed  

We will all have hurt and disappointments in our lives.
In fact there is an old saying that says:

You are either going through something, coming out of something or about to go through something!

It is time for us to adopt a different response to our challenges and disappointments.
As humans we react with pain and hurt to what another is being, saying or doing.
The first thing we should do is to become conscious and aware of the feelings we are having.
Don’t run from the pain, don’t mask it with drugs or alcohol. Feel it, acknowledge it.
Try to find yourself in it.
Be honest with your feelings.

It is very important to not react with vengeance or rage, and to understand your true feelings.
Once you feel it and acknowledge it, it’s power over you diminishes and you can get to the place of this of

“This too shall pass”.
After that you can then reach for your highest self and look for the lessons.

A master knows that all experiences comes to teach and is for self-growth.

5. Mindset shifts, – Forgive or look past behaviors of your spouse or significant 

As Christians we are taught to forgive, if we want to forgiveness.
To not judge before we take the plank out of our own eyes.
So it would seem that the Christian thing to do is to forgive our spouses for his/her sins.
But in the book “Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsh

The author teaches that you should always do what’s best for us. Remember we are self-centered.
Your girl friends are always going to encourage you to leave your husband because he is a cheater.
Walsch says that you should leave your spouse only if it is best action for you or your children.
You leave when the marriage no longer fulfills its purpose.

Let’s look at Hilary Clinton. I believe she married Bill Clinton with a purpose. He has always been a cheater but she saw his potential as a future President; So she proposed to him and chose to overlook his infidelity. She chose self!
Today her daughter is living a purpose driven life, She was First Lady of the Unites States of America and could become the first female President of the United States of America. You have never heard of her infidelity even though we have heard all about her husband’s.
We should all follow her lead and leave our cheating spouses to God, we should concern ourselves only with self. Being the best we can be and we will get our crown here on earth as well as our heavenly crown in the next life.

Myrna is the Host of the “Mindset Transformation radio show” on

https://www.wdjyfm.com/#!on-air/cee5 every Wednesday from 5:00 pm to 6:00 pm

If you would like to be a guest or become a sponsor contact her at info@myhelps.us.

Listen to past broadcasts of the “Mindset Transformations radio show” on the Myhelps Youtube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8p2lfxF2GhOihRv8N3EZeA

Subscribe to the Transform your Mind podcast on iTunes 

Additional Resources:

https://blog.myhelps.us/surviving-r-kelly-mindset-sexual-predator/

How to Get and How to Keep a Man

How to use Intuition as Your Guide to Happiness

How to use your intuition

Nicole Leffer is a Spiritual coach and, Clairvoyant, in this episode she teaches us, how to use intuition, to make decisions and lead happier, more fulfilling, purpose driven lives.

 

Using Intuition to help others

As an, Intuitive, and, medium, Nicole is able to pick up on information and guidance about past, present and future situations, as well as relationship and situational dynamics and likely outcomes of situations. Her gifts operate primarily via, clairvoyant, (intuitive seeing), clairaudient (intuitive hearing), clairsentient (intuitive feeling), and claircognizant (intuitive knowing) impressions. She is also a, medium, and can frequently pick up on the emotions others are experiencing and she often picks up on world events before they happen.

Called to utilize her gifts to help others lead happier, more fulfilling and purpose driven lives, Nicole offers, intuitive, readings and spiritual coaching both in Atlanta and around the world.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

What is Intuition

So we’re going to talk today about, intuition.  How to use intuition, to transform your life.  So how do we tie in, intuitive, reading to, intuition?

When I received the information from an, intuitive reading, it’s always a guide.  What I get is more about the situation in your life.  For example, a parent is trying to decide about keeping their child in a certain school. They’re having issues with their child and they’re thinking about moving them to another school.  They’re leaning toward moving them to another school; but they’re in conflict.  I may get the information in the form of an apple, which is a reference to education, then I’ll know it’s about their child.

They’re leaning towards a change that their own, intuition, is trying to guide them toward making the change, and I will get a validation. Something like this change will be good for your child in the long run. Because of  my gift, I get clearer information downloaded to me.  The parents are tapping into their, intuition, to move their child to another school but it is corrupted with doubt.

Most of my questions are, about relationships.  Should I marry this man? Is this woman the one? But I don’t answer questions until I have a total download of my intuitive reading.  I have no idea in the beginning of the reading of what the person’s primary objective is. I ask them to accept the reading and whatever downloads to me and then after I receive, then I ask them what they want to know.

 How to use intuition, so that it works for you.

We’re all built with the capacity of, intuition. It is what makes us human.  The first step in, using your, intuition, is recognizing that we all receive our, intuition, in multiple different ways; so the first thing is identifying how you personally receive your, intuition.  If you don’t know how you receive, intuition, you can’t recognize it when you receive it.  If you are, clairvoyant, then you see the picture in your mind. It’s not like you use something outside of your body or anything like that, it’s more like you close your eyes and picture the image in your mind.  If you’re a visual learner and are very visual, there’s a really good chance that you get your, intuition, by seeing.

I think a lot more people have the gift of hearing.  When you hear, it very similar to if you’re reading a book and your mind hears your inner voice. It is not a voice outside your head or hearing voices or anything like that. It is a variation of your own voice that you get your, intuitive, hit with.

How to use intuition, I personally get my, intuition, first thing in the morning when I’m waking up.  That’s how I recognize that it is my higher self,  giving me instructions and I always act on those instructions. I also meditate every single day, that helps me stay clear.  I think if you are curious about really wanting to be in touch with your, intuition, a meditation practice is absolutely the best thing anybody can start with. It is the jumping off point.

 

You can also subscribe to your favorite podcast players to get new episodes as they are released.

Soundcloud, iTunes, TuneIn radio, Stitcher, iHeart Radio,  Spotify, Google play,

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Additional Resources

What are the, Secrets to Success,? Here are my 10 Secrets

https://blog.myhelps.us/program-positive-change/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/intuition

Dealing with Anxiety Disorder after Addiction

Addiction and recovery side effects can include, anxiety disorder, and panic attacks. In this episode Dr Tra Ahia, Psychologist offers treatment options for dealing with, anxiety disorder.

I was listening to a podcast last week and the guest was talking about her, anxiety disorder, and her story triggered a memory of a personal acquaintance who was a heroin addict and developed, anxiety disorder.

My first introduction to Anxiety Disorder

In the late 80’s I was working in sales and my boss’s daughter was an, Heroin addict. We were close enough that she would tell me what it was like being addicted to Heroin. She told me how she would cook the heroin until it became a liquid and then she would shoot it into her neck because she got a more immediate high. She showed me the holes in her neck which she covered up with scarves. Her father who was wealthy gave her a car and she sold that car for peanuts to get money to buy Heroin.

She attempted to go to rehab several times; but always walked out because she said they just left you in a room to scream in pain. She said the pain of withdrawal was unbearable. She then started a methadone treatment which is a synthetic version of Heroin.  They reduced the dose of the methadone gradually to wean your body off Heroin. But what I want to get to was her, anxiety disorder. She got such bad, panic attacks, her gut was always in knots, that she couldn’t leave the house without her safe person, her boyfriend. I don’t remember if he used drugs; but when the relationship ended she was unable to leave to leave the house for weeks, not even to buy groceries. Then she was too anxious to start dating. She stressed about some man asking “Can I touch your boobs” I don’t know what became of her; but I think of her often.

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Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean

What happens to the brain with Anxiety Disorder

If you have an, anxiety disorder – Your brain raises ahead to predict the future. The guest on the podcast had, anxiety disorder, and she described it as “life fright” or , agoraphobia, She said to think about Stage fright. You feel nervous, you think you are going to freeze up or faint, you start to sweat, you think people are going to laugh at you etc. well people with, anxiety disorder, or, agoraphobia, feel like that all the time.

They have, agoraphobia, talking to strangers, checking out at the grocery store, at the bank, going for an interview, at a cocktail party, almost any conversation with a stranger, that’s why the guest called it “life fright.”

 

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How does Anxiety lead to Life Fright

Dr Tra  as the author of the book “Call me an Addict, war on women” How does my story regarding anxiety being called “Life Fright” relates to your experience?

I think for that young lady or whoever coined that term, for her that helped her manage her, anxiety disorder.  That term helped her understand for herself this thing that she was feeling, so for her that was a good term to use, this, Life Fright. My thoughts when I think about, life fright,  is that I’m afraid of living period.  The entire gamut of life, so for me I would not use that term as a replicator to, anxiety disorder; but I can see why she did.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

I understand there are 3 types of, Anxiety Disorders,

  1. Situational anxiety
  2. social anxiety and
  3. high functioning anxiety

Can you explain the difference of these forms of, anxiety,  and which is most common with substance abuse?

There are more than just three types of, anxiety disorder,  way more.  I think it’s important also for the audience to understand that when we talk about, anxiety disorder, we’re talking about an irrational fear or, agoraphobia, of something that someone is experiencing.  It’s irrational, it’s not logical that you are excessively fearful over this specific situation or you’re apprehensive about something or you have difficulty managing daily tasks.  So when we think about, agoraphobia, or,  anxiety disorder, I want them to know that it’s irrational to know your heart is racing, and you feel like you’re going to die.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

There are six main categories of, anxiety disorders,  like I said there are more than three!

  1. Phobias
  2. Panic attacks, with or without, agoraphobia, you have
  3. Generalized, anxiety disorder,
  4. Obsessive compulsive disorder or, OCD,
  5. Acute stress disorder and
  6. Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD

 

The American Psychological Association lists research on how, anxiety disorder, is diagnosed.

This disorder called, anxiety disorder, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual

It’s normal to become anxious and at one time or another. A car almost hit you, you are going for an interview, you sense danger etc. Anxiety is normal under certain conditions, what we are talking about here is the irrational fear or, agoraphobia, that is a disorder.

Something who’s unable to leave their home. This is, agoraphobia, they have a fear of leaving surroundings that they’re familiar with.

This a serious affliction.

 

There are three systems of functioning that need to change in, Anxiety Disorder

  1. Cognitive
  2. Physical and
  3. Behavioral

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How would, high-functioning anxiety, work?

An addict could develop a, panic attack, because perhaps they’re they don’t have the substance anymore, or it could be someone who gains, agoraphobia,  as a result of some interaction they’ve had with a place they frequented to attain their substance.

An addict with, high-functioning anxiety, usually is on a treatment plan in conjunction with medication to control their, anxiety disorder.

An addict could develop a, panic attack, because perhaps they’re they don’t have the substance anymore, or it could be someone who gains, agoraphobia,  as a result of some interaction they’ve had with a place they frequented to attain their substance.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Anxiety disorder is a form of mental illness. Dr Tra outside of substance abuse, what are some other  contributing factors to, Anxiety Disorder?

I understand that mental illness presents itself in many forms:

  • Schizophrenia
  • Anxiety disorder
  • Anorexia
  • Depression
Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

My research shows that these disorders present themselves as early as 14 years old and can be treated successfully by mental health professionals if treatment is started early; but because people feel that mental illness equals crazy, they don’t talk about it or seek help.

Research show that 90% of suicides results from mental illness like, anxiety disorder, and depression. How does talk therapy from a Life Coach, social worker or Psychologist such as yourself help patients?

Talk therapy allows the client to feel listened to and understood.  It allows them to download and get advise.  It can save many from suicide.

 

How would you help someone suffering from, anxiety disorder?

Mental illness is something that keeps a lot of people up at night but nobody wants to talk about during the day

It is the visitor who enters without knocking

1 in 20 become disabled by mental illness i.e. Can’t function in society

So let’s start talking.

ANXIETY, has become the defining mental health issue of our decade — women are affected at twice the rate of men, and now children and young adults are also more stressed and anxious than ever before. Join us to learn nutritional and gut solutions for your anxiety!

 

Additional Resources

Drug and Alcohol Treatment for Women with Trauma

https://blog.myhelps.us/understanding-and-managing-compulsive-behaviors/

https://blog.myhelps.us/call-me-an-addict-child-abuse-statistics-p3/

https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/suicide

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/kc/suicidal-thoughts-ideation-193026

How to Awaken to Your Soul Purpose

Soul purpose

Your, soul purpose, is to awaken to consciousness and have a human experience through your body. Your, soul, or spirit is eternal.

Welcome to the mindset transformation radio show and podcast. Today’s show is very special to me! I am going to share with you an interview with Neale Donald Walsh, author of, “The Conversations with God,” series on, “How to Awaken Your Soul’s Purpose,”
This is special to me because his book revealed deep truths to me. My eyes were opened in wonderment!
Here are some of the revelations from the book “The Conversations with God’

Truths about Prayer and Soul Purpose 

When you pray in order for your prayer to be received by God it must be in a frequency that he can hear. Just as you cannot hear this radio program if my words were not modulated to be transported over the communication lines and then demodulated back so that you can hear them. It is the same way that prayer works. Except the modulator is faith. Jesus never healed anyone who did not have faith. He said “Your faith has made you whole” So if you are asking God to grand you the desires of your heart and you don’t believe that he will, your prayers will never be answered unless it is connected to your, soul purpose.

The other part of the prayer mechanics is this:
You will not have that which you ask, nor anything you want because your request is a statement of lack.
Saying you want a thing only works to produce that precise experience – wanting- in your reality.
Abraham of the Law of Attraction books teaches the same thing.
You have to see yourself in position of the thing you want and not what you don’t want, because if you think of what you don’t want, that is exactly what you will attract and that will show up. Wondering why you keep attracting the same no good man into your experience? That is because you are so detailed in what you don’t want in a man and the Universe complies!

So when you pray you must engage faith and thank God for giving you the desires of your heart and your, soul purpose. You need to tell him all the things you do want in a man. Be just as detailed and then believe him for it. Walk in it. Believe that you already have such a man!

Truths about Relationships and Purpose 

It is only through your relationship with people, places and events that you can exist in the universe. You are only who you are, relative to what another person is not. That is why opposites attract! Your, soul, is always looking for its counterpart to complete itself!

When human relationships fail (and they never really fail, they just did not produce the result you wanted), is because they were entered into for reasons not beneficial to their survival and, soul purpose.
The, purpose, of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you would like to see show up not what part of another you can capture and hold.  This revelation made me look at the, purpose, of my marriage from Gods eyes.
The good news is that this marriage survived when the others failed because it had a purpose. One of them was to reveal myself to me.

Truths about Abundance and Soul Purpose 

What is an abundant mindset?
Let’s say that you are walking down the road one day and you see a homeless person begging on the street corner. You go into your wallet and notice you have $7, a $5dollar bill and 2 singles. You start to give the homeless person the $5 bill but decide instead to get him the 2 singles. Why did you change your mind about giving the $5 bill? Was it because you felt that it was too much money to part with? Did you feel that you needed it more than the homeless person?

None of these answers suggest an abundant mindset. You are operating from a spirit of lack.
The most rapid way to change a root thought or sponsoring idea is to reverse the thought-word-deed process.
Do the deed that you want to have the new thought about, then say the words that you want to have the new thought about. Do this often and you’ll train the mind to think a new way.
You are what you think you are. When the thought is a negative one, you have to find a way to break out of the cycle. So much of your present experience is based on your previous thought.

Abundance Mindset and Purpose

Let’s say You need $5000 more to close on your new home. You receive a message from God to give $2000 to a sister in the church who just lost her house in a fire. You obey because you have faith that your God is able. Your common sense tells you that you are stupid and that you will never get the money back; but you act on Gods promise. You use the words that God will provide the increase.
He does, a few days later; a check for $10,000 shows up in the mail.
I listened to a message from Joyce Meyers a few weeks back, she shared a similar story. She said that she was broke and laying in bed age her Breast cancer surgery feeling very fearful about her financial situation. Both she and her husband was in full time ministry and depended on her ability to preach for their income. She wouldn’t be able to work for some time.
Then the doorbell rang and someone brought her a check for $10,000. Someone she did not know, but who God sent. From that moment, onward she did not operate out of fear or lack, she knew that God was able. When you are on a journey that matches your, soul purpose, miracles happen.

Soul expressions

When was the last time you cried with joy, wrote poetry, made music, danced in the rain, baked a pie, painted anything, fixed something that was broken, kissed a baby, held a cat to your face, kissed your dog, swam naked, walked at sunrise, played a harmonica, talked till dawn, made love for hours on a beach or in the woods, communed with nature, searched for God, sat alone in silence, or traveled to the deepest part of your being?
When was the last time you said hello to your, soul?
Wow! After reading this I made note to say hello to my, soul, more often. I need to go skinny dipping at the beach, I need to dance in the rain and make love for hours in the woods!

So how do you awaken to your soul purpose?

Your, soul, doesn’t care what you do for a living, the, soul, only cares what you are being, while you are doing what you are doing.

The function of the, soul, is to indicate its desire, not impose it.
The function of the mind is to choose from its alternatives.
The function of the body is to act out that choice.
Your, soul, has brought you to the words you are reading or listening to right now.

How I found my, soul purpose.

One day I was reading a local newspaper. Who reads newspapers these days? I never did. But this day now only did a newspaper appear in my space; but I was guided to pick it up and flip through the pages. In one of the pages was a photograph of someone I thought I recognized so I stopped to look at it. It had her name and the title beside her name, Life coach! I had never seen that word before or heard it anywhere but I knew immediately that was what I was supposed to do.
My, soul, has been directing me all my life. It always brings me to where I need to be and the people I need to be with.

True masters are those who have chosen to make a life, rather than a living.

Life’s irony is that as soon as worldly goods and worldly success are of no concern to you, the way is open for them to flow to you.
I do this for free! Open the windows of heaven Lord!

There comes a time in the evolution of every, soul, when the chief concern is no longer the survival of the physical body, but the growth of the, spirit; no longer the attainment of worldly success but the realization of self.

The goal and, purpose, of your, soul, is to fully realize itself while in your body. To become the embodiment of all that it really is.

Listen to the author Neale Donald Walsh go into detail

You could also listen on iTunes. Please remember to subscribe.

Transform your mind iTunes link

If you like this content, please leave a review or a comment.
You can also follow me on social media for more Life coaching tips and inspirations
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Twitter @ Myhelps Twitter
web: www.myrnayounghelps.com

If you are interested in being a guest on the Transform Your Mind radio TV and podcast, please contact me on the web @ www.myhelps.us or complete the Guest questionnaire and email back to me.

Additional Resources

How to Accelerate Your Soul Journey: Clear these Money Blocks

How to Program Yourself for Positive Change

positive change

Positive change, is identifying the things that are most important in your life, and then start eliminating everything else. This is all about simplifying your life, so that you can focus on the things that matter most to you and prevents you from getting distracted.

 

Here are some tips on Positive Change from the book “Switch”

How to, change, things when, change, is hardby Chip Heath and Dan Heath

Here are the facts:

Change, is a process.

1: Positive Change, is usually a situation problem, and not a personal problem.
2: For anything to, change, someone must behave differently.
3: To, change, someone’s behavior, you must, change, someone’s situation.
4: For, positive change, to stick you must influence the person’s heart and mind.

A Story on Positive Change

Arthur was an airborne paratrooper. Jumping out of airplanes killed his knees, his back, his legs. When he got out of the army he walked with a cane and couldn’t do anything so he gained a lot of weight. He could not support his weight, so he couldn’t do traditional exercise. His health rapidly declined. The doctor at the VA clinic told him to accept his faith, that he would never walk normal again.

One day while surfing the internet, he came across Diamond Dallas Page doing yoga. He said to himself, I could do this. So He bought the DVD! He figured he could use his arm to support his weight and get a cardio workout. Arthur was 297 lbs when he started doing yoga.
When he started his yoga exercises, he kept falling down and falling down, but he kept getting back up again and again!
Every day he got better and better in 10 months he had lost over 100 lbs and could not only walk without a cane but he could run!!

Change, is usually situational. Arthur had a situational problem.

Arthur taught himself to do yoga because he decided to take control of his life. He got his heart and mind in the game and changed the situation!

Change is a process.

To lead a process requires persistence. Arthur kept getting back up and trying again to do his exercises.

When a, positive change, starts, it builds on itself.
The better Arthur got at yoga, the more he was motivated to keep going.
Positive change,  can snowball.
Change, rarely works unless it is motivated by feeling. Arthur wanted to feel better about himself so he made the hard choices.

That’s my tip of the week from coach Myrna.

How to change when change is hard.

There can be nothing harder than trying to loose 100 lbs when you can’t use your legs; but Arthur found a way and so can you.

Our guest today is coach Dan Willms and he is a, positive change, guru. This is his space.

Dan Willms is a Life & Business Coach, an MBA Professor, a facilitator for The Leadership Challenge, a writer and an International Speaker – he is also the creator of the Positive Change Workshop and facilitates his workshops in Portuguese, English & Spanish. He has facilitated more than 118 Positive Change Workshops. He loves helping people and organizations to achieve their fullest potential. He is the co-author of the book Strategic Leadership (Liderança Estratégica) and the author of the upcoming book “Positive Change – One life @ a time”.

Dan is also my partner, we do a video blog on YouTube every week called “You asked for it” where we answer questions sent in from our social media network. Like us on Facebook to become part of our community. Myrna Young Lifecoach and Dan Willms.

Using I am Affirmations for Positive change

I am affirmations, formulate, affirm, and perpetuate the stories you tell yourself. Stories about who you are, who you can be, and what you can do. I Am affirmations, are a powerful way to, program yourself, for, positive change.

If you want to make a, change, start where you are. Start with who you are. Support yourself right here, before you have all the answers. Do that and you’ll feel more supported in the process. And that can, change, well, everything.

  1. I am a living, breathing example of the kind of world I want to live in.
  2. I am a powerful force for good in the world.
  3. I am on the right path. I am moving in the right direction.
  4. I am worthy of all things wonderful.
  5. I am being guided to what’s best for me and everyone else.
  6. I am powerful enough to live in accordance with my own values, desire, and truths.
  7. I am in the exact place I need to be to get to where I want to be.
  8. I am intentionally promoting a life filled with joy.
  9. I am a firm believer in my ideas.

Show notes Positive Change

Question 1. Tell us about your journey to becoming a Life coach and an ambassador for, positive change.
Question 2: What is The, Positive Change?
Question 3: Tell me about your happiness labs, how does it work?
Question 4: : What were your findings on these labs from your sample size of 400 people?
Question 5: So, based on your labs, what would you say is the secret to happiness?
Question 6: Why do you think is there so much unhappiness in the world?

Additional Resources

How to Transform your Career with Purpose

Surviving R. Kelly: The Mindset Of A Sexual Predator

sexual predators r Kelly and Jeffrey Epstein

How can women use their intuitive gifts to understand the mindset of the, sexual predator, like, R Kelly? We check the boxes to understand why, sexual predators, seek out and choose certain women.

In this episode of the, Transform your Mind, personal development podcast, I interview Intuitive and spiritual coach Nicole Leffer

 

Surviving r Kelly Sexual Predator

The Lifetime series, Surviving r Kelly, and the follow up Dateline episode, show a rich and famous, R Kelly, feeding his sex machine with women of all ages. His preference seemed to be teenage girls as young as 12 years old; but women in their 30’s had the same experience.  One said that she did unspeakable things in a Black room, was starved, had to ask before she went to the bathroom, was physically abused, and had to call, r Kelly,  Daddy.

So in this interview, Nicole and  I  explore the mindset of  a, sexual predator,  and how women of all ages can use their intuition to escape the lair of a, sexual  predator.

 Have you ever gotten a reading on the, mindset sexual predator,?

Nicole since you are an intuitive and there’s been a lot of readings,  have you ever gotten a reading on a, sexual predator?  What is going on in the mindset of a, sexual predator,?

 I’ve never done a reading where I sat like I sat down and read a, sexual predator.  I don’t think that somebody in that space would allow that. I have had a couple of times the in readings for other people who was a victim of a, predator.   What I  picked up was a lot of assurance that it was not their fault. Something about them triggered the mindset of the, sexual predator.  Something from their childhood or from their past that they were tormented and deeply tortured about, attracted the, sexual predator, so they became the target. 

This is also the Law of Attraction concept.  The energy that you are putting out attracts, sexual predators. They can read you. If you have a lot of insecurities within yourself, a, predator, can pick up on your insecurities and that they have the opportunity to come in and fill that void.  

You become vulnerable if you view yourself as not enough and the, sexual predator, can sniff that out. 

The other factor that has come through in my, intuitive readings,  is that the, sexual predator,  is also trying to fill some need in themselves. They have learned that preying on the innocent, dulls the pain inside themselves and gives them the sense of power and control over their victims. Whatever it is they’re trying to get through or over, they’re using this behavior as their outlet for that.  It is not a healthy behavior by any means,  but it’s  similar to how people use drugs or they’ll use alcohol or they’ll use sex or they’ll use a million different things.  It’s like somehow somewhere along the way,  this person has learned that this is a solution to their pain, their torment, their torture and the wires get crossed in their brains and this is what happens.

How do we use our Intuition to understand, the mindset sexual predator,? 

We do have an, intuition, in ourselves to be able to prevent this from happening to us. Not 100 percent of the time, but as humans we are able to pick up the warning signs and cues, if we are paying attention.  

One of the victims in the, Surviving Robert R Kelly, interview said just that.  She said that, sexual predators, look for the, weak minded woman,.  They usually go for the young, like teenagers because they are, weak minded women,  but if they find you are weak minded as an adult, then you become a victim as well.  She was one of the women in her 30’s who was a victim.  So if you are a, weak minded woman, then you are not using your, intuition, instead, you are looking for this person to fill the void in your life, and in, the mindset of a, sexual predator, they are more than happy to accommodate.

Listen to the rest on this interview on audio to understand how your feeling of not being enough activates the, sexual predator, to target you.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
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https://tunein.com/podcasts/Motivational/Transform-your-Mind-with-Coach-Myrna-p1102799/

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Protecting your Child from, Sexual Abuse, in your Own Home

How Women Get a Seat at the Table

black women get a seat at the table

Women are you invisible in the boardroom and have no say? Do men listen when you speak? If the answer is no, then find out how to get, a seat at the table.

In this episode I interview Kimberley Bussey Lewis, Author of , A Seat At The Table, Or Part Of The Meal: Creating A Culture Of Diversity

How did you come to become passionate about, diversity and inclusion, for, women of color?

How to Get a Seat at The Table

I first really started thinking about, a seat at the table,  when I was a very young reporter in Charleston, South Carolina.  I was the only female reporter at the time within this 600 person company.  And what I was struck by is that there were so many decisions that were being made that we would complain about; but none of us had, a seat at the table, to help make those decisions.

I realized that if I didn’t have a place in the room that I was both invisible and silent; so it didn’t matter how much I complained or how much I didn’t like what was going on or simply just didn’t understand it because I was not part of the discussion; I needed, a seat at the table.

So that’s where my passion for, diversity and inclusion, was born.

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Download on Spotify

CNN wrote a column on getting, a seat at the table, for women. They were discussing congresswoman Harris, basically what they’re saying was that women are invisible and they have no say.  When they speak no one listens.  So I understand what you are saying.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

What happens when there is no seat at the table

I stayed in that company as a reporter without, a seat at the table, about 12 years.  It took me that long to get that awakening.  Sometimes we think that we are fortunate to have a job so we don’t want to stir the pot.  I just increasingly became more and more of a little rebel challenging the status quo. Eventually I left  and ventured out to write my first book.   I was scared to death.  Because here I am I’m going to write a book, I’m going to leave my job.  I took a leave of absence to write the book;  but it was really a step of faith and in writing the book and doing the research.

I became energized when I interviewed older relatives, my mother and great-aunt who were already in their 80s and 90s at the time. I  became energized by their tenacity as, Black women. I knew that we had a lot of strong men in my family, but my eyes are really flew open at the strength of the, black women, and how they held businesses up,  they held a family up and the men of the family up, and brought us all together.

I stumbled into the nonprofit arena by my volunteer work. I was volunteering and working on writing the  book and one thing led to another.  I got to a small job at an organization that was run by a, black woman, who became my mentor.  She took me under her wing and even though I was  just volunteering she taught me so much about strength and tenacity and making your voice count.

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Diversity and Inclusion for Women of Color

Her company was called Family Assistance Management Services

And she was the first black female insurance broker in SC. She had been a full time teacher before she built quite a nest egg with her husband. They owned several pieces of property in Charleston SC. She then became a broker and started several businesses, an insurance company, a computer training clinic all kinds of other businesses, because she had a passion for helping people.

You got your feet wet on the nonprofit arena and but it sounds like you have, a seat at the table, at Goodwill Industries. Why you write the book, “A Seat at the Table or a part of the meal?”

I was born in September 1964 a month after the discrimination Act, and my parents had not long moved to Charleston, SC. All of my siblings, I  have one brother and two sisters, they had all been born at home in the country by a midwife so since it was now illegal for place public places to discriminate my father thought, well I will take my wife to this nice Hospital for my fourth child to be born.  So my mother was in labor he rushes her down to this hospital the Medical University of South Carolina and by this time she’d begun to hemorrhage as I was a breech baby.

It was pouring down rain and he got my mom into the emergency area into the lobby and he started screaming for the doctors to come and help they turned looked at them and turned their backs right away.  All the white doctors and nurses ignored them, so he ran up to them and screamed my wife is bleeding you got to help her and someone told him to just sit down we’ll get to you.

So he scooped her up, put her in a wheelchair and ran with her down the street to the black Hospital. McLennan banks Hospital in the pouring rain with my mom gripping for life on that wheelchair.  He pushed her up into the emergency area and as soon as they saw that she was drenched in blood they rushed her into the emergency room and delivered me.  The doctor who delivered me was a, woman of color, from  South Africa and he named me Kimberly after the Kimberly diamond mines.

Black Women are born to be at the table

It sounds like you were born in to do this work!

I was tried of being the only, Black woman, in the room. I felt we as, Black women, have to do something to get , a seat at the table. If anyone was going to wave that flag of, diversity and inclusion, equity and of, diversity, it should be Goodwill Industries. So it really began then.  We started a task force with a group of CEOs and started to study, diversity and inclusion, and equity programs with fortune 500 companies and fortune 100 companies and other nonprofit organizations. We studied who was doing it well, what were they looking at, what were the metrics and how do you build that diverse pipeline.  We came up an implementation plan.

We were really intentional about attracting, maintaining and keeping a, diversity, workforce.  Whether it is individuals who are Hispanic or individuals who African-American or LGTBQ or disabled.  We recognize that all of that build a table of, diversity.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean

The first time that I heard the phrase, a seat at the table, was from one of my coaching clients and I’ve heard it several times since. I heard Gabrielle Union say it that she’s just gonna make her own table because you know the black actresses in Hollywood are still working to, get a seat at the table.  They go through the same discrimination with, diversity and inclusion.  It’s not just in Corporate America or in the board rooms.

Women of Color getting a seat at the table

Kimberly you have, a seat at the table,  what advice would you give to women who are hitting the glass ceiling and get, no seat at the table.

African-American women unfortunately have been absent from the room!  We have not even been invited into the room much less have, a seat at the table, for quite some time.  Women in general have been hitting the glass ceiling for quite a long time.  I’ve heard that men are hired based on what their hiring manager or that supervisor thinks that they can do while women are hired or promoted based on performance.  it is that way because the majority of the, seats at the table, are already held by men.  Predominantly white males and they look for men who look like act like they came from where they come from.

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Black women in order to get, a seat at the table,  have to do 3 things:

  1. They have to network. It’s all about relationships. Else there is, no seat at the table. Everything that you do is about relationships and it’s about networking.  If you didn’t grow up playing golf, learn.  Go around places and do things that make you feel uncomfortable. But you must be part of the conversation. Go to the theater,  go to the Opera, you could serve as an usher and get free tickets.
  2. Get a mentor – All women should have a mentor.
  3. Get a Sponsor – a sponsor and a mentor are two different people. A mentor is someone that you can talk to about your fears and your aspirations. A mentor can give you sound advice and can talk you through some of the issues that you’re having and help you create a plan a plan of attack.

A sponsor on the other hand is going to be that person who’s going to make sure that you’re invited to that meeting.  They’re going to take you under their wing.  They’re going to make sure that there’s a place for you in the conversation and that there is, diversity and inclusion, that you are a part of the discussion. Sponsors are usually white males.

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Book: Seat at the table

Have you ever wished that you had the information to elevate the conversation at work on how to build a culture of diversity, equity and inclusion?  Well, now you do; with my newly published book A Seat At The Table or Part of the Meal, by Kimberly Bussey Lewis.  This book will give you examples of intentional efforts that will level the playing field and yield dividends for your career and your company. The book can be found on Amazon – A Seat at the Table Or Part of the Meal, by Kimberly Bussey Lewis or on www.motivationalmuse.com, so get your copy today and your seat at the table.

 

Additional Resources, A Seat at the Table

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

How to Ask for a Raise or Anything you Want in Life.

What are the, Secrets to Success,? Here are my 10 Secrets

https://www.demos.org/research/taking-our-seat-table-black-women-overcoming-social-exclusion-politics#Black-Women%E2%80%99s-Leadership:-Making-a-Way-out-of-No-Way

https://www.talentintelligence.com/blog/bid/377611/inclusion-and-the-benefits-of-diversity-in-the-workplace