Category Archives: Personal Development Podcast

Life Coaching, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, transform your mind

Does Serving a Prison Sentence Affect Change?

January 11, 2021 Myrna Young

Does serving a, prison, sentence change your outlook in life? Rocky Singh Kandola talks to us today on the subjects of, rape, child abuse, prison, physical assault, and more.

Listen to the full interview here:

Rocky Singh Kandola is a 33 year old successful Indian businessman born in New York City and currently living in Los Angeles. Rocky owns a showroom in a high traffic area in the downtown area of Los Angeles. He says “I am both a felon and a Philosophy Graduate” Rocky spent his “high school” life in 9 different facilities and, boot camps, around the world, some of which are now closed due to severe, child abuse, rape, and torture. He have almost died at least 8 times. Half of his face and jaw are fake from an attempted murder on his life. He’s been shot, stabbed, kidnapped, and kicked in the face resulting in over 20 major surgeries in his adult life.

How did Rocky end up in Prison

Myrna – Can you tell us your story of what led to you being, incarcerated.

Rocky – I spent a lot of time in different facilities and, boot camps, across the world at a young age. My father was a very traditional Indian parent. Indian kids were supposed to stay home, study and get straight A’s. I was not that kid, I was a lot more outspoken. I was wild and carefree. I wanted to be out and about and party with friends so me and my father bumped heads often.

I was sent to my first worldwide association of specialty program, boot camp, at age 15. Paris Hilton recently shed a lot of light on these, child abuse, boots camps, in her documentary.

Myrna – Oh my gosh, I saw her documentary.

Rocky – I went to one of the, boot camps, that were outside of the U.S, this one was in Mexico. Keep in mind these are for-profit businesses that operate in very manipulative ways towards the parents as well as towards the children in order to further their business.

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Life in Boot Camps

My parents didn't really know about the trauma the, child abuse, the, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or the, mental abuse, that was going on at these, boot camps. They would tell the parents your kids are going to manipulate you. They're going to lie to you, don't listen to them. Our communication was controlled, we weren't allowed to write or talk call home.

These, group homes, boot camps, very regimented. As soon as you walked in, your hair is shaved, you're sleeping on the ground for 10 days, you're screamed at, or you're beaten, and yelled at. Forced to lay in positions on your stomach with your chin on the ground and your hands and feet tied behind your back for hours.

You're forced to wake up at 2 am o'clock in the middle of the night and go outside and stand in the rain and count the rain. These, group homes, boot camps, did all kinds of cruel mental games to brainwash and break a child. It's not hard to break a child especially at that age.

I learned to adapt and to work the system and I used that knowledge when I was in, prison. I would go into these, group homes, boot camps, every six months of my life, then go home, raise hell and be sent to another, group home, 6 months later.

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Did life in these book camps train you for Prison?

Myrna – What did you get arrested for and sent to, prison?

Rocky – The, prison, thing came about because I was selling drugs and doing everything from robbing, stealing, breaking into cars. I started getting into heavier drugs until the federal government and the state local police set up a sting operation. This task force followed me around for quite a bit of time and got me to sell narcotics to an undercover agent.

I was arrested and charged with distribution. I was sentenced to seven to nine years in, prison.

Prison, was very scary place; but after a few months, I got out I kind of got back in the same lifestyle. I'm not really the type person you can scare or punish into changing.

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Does a prison sentence reform the inmate?

Myrna – You were in, prison, I think you said for seven or eight years and then you said that when you came out of, prison, you went back into the same lifestyle. What you think, prison, did for you if anything?

Rocky – I was in prison for about two years, in jail for a year then rehab for another year.

I learned so much in, prison. There's people going to, prison, with different attitudes, different crimes. I went in there as an adaptable chameleon. I've been institutionalized since I was 11, so I knew it was gonna be another institution. I knew there were certain things I had to learn like how to navigate between judges and counselors and convicts and inmates.

I didn't really have any troubles, I had a pretty decent level of respect for, prison. People were curious about me, why was I in prison in Alabama? What was this Indian kid doing in a, prison, in Alabama?

On top of that I spoke Spanish and I played basketball, so it was very easy to transfer between a lot of race wars in an Alabama, prison. It was easy to go between White and Black and Mexican inmates.

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Selling Drugs in Prison

I quickly developed a sense of wanting to help, so I started writing motions for people in, prison. Most inmates didn’t know how to read and write. But in spite of wanting to help and do good, I quickly got back into selling drugs in, prison.

Myrna – How do you sell drugs in, prison?

Rocky – There are certain areas in, prison, you meet someone that's for lack of a better term gay and they're happy putting substances inside of their butt area and they would sneak in drugs for you. They would then clean it out, put it in a certain area, tell you where it is and you go pick it up. I then go bag it up and then redistribute it.

It's a whole different world inside, prisons. I am smiling now but looking back it was nerve-wracking and very scary, because if you get caught, you're in big trouble. Outside of that I liked the time I had to myself in, prison. I read books and journal and make a plan for my life.

I started plans for my business plan in, prison.

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Planning your life while inside Prison

When you take your time while you're in, prison, to really set goals and set a future up for yourself, when you get out of, prison, you're already a step ahead versus the person who just

closed their eyes and did their time in, prison.

It's such an important thing planning and preparing and framing your mind for when you leave, prison. I've learned in my life from, sexual abuse, physical abuse, in , boot camps, and being beaten in, jail.

Myrna – You have to change your mindset, that is why this the show is called the Transform your Mind podcast. The system feels that when they, incarcerate, people, they felt punishing them by sending them to, prison, or, jail, for a couple of years that they will reform them and change behaviors. But like you said you can go to, prison, and get worse because drugs are still selling in, prison.

You send someone in there who’s innocent and they come out worse than when they went in, or you can go to, prison, and you can get your GED. Some go to, prison, and had such a horrible time in there that they vow never to go back to, prison.

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Statistics of repeat offenders Recidivism to prison

Myrna – What is the statistics of how many people reform from being sent to, prison, and the percentage of those who are repeat offenders?

Rocky – I believe our, recidivism, rate in America is close to 70 percent. I went back to, jail, twice after my release from, prison, twice for about a month. The system to be truthful is

almost designed for, recidivism, to make you mess up, so you can go right back to, prison, and serve more time.

Myrna- I would say that you were lucky that your father sent you to India and you used that opportunity to start your hair business. Tell us about your business.

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Planning a successful business from Prison

Rocky – I started my business plan from , prison. Then when I was in India after I left, prison, I had time to meet manufacturers, go to the small markets where they're selling hair and really do a lot of research. Everything happens for a reason. I never thought I’d be in India after, prison. While I was there and everything started falling into place. Within a week I had the name for my business, paid for the domain and then made a Facebook post. I had the ability to learn from an Indian perspective about the manufacturing side before I learned about marketing in the U.S.

Myrna – How can listeners contact you and support your business?

Rocky – My main website and personal blog is hair made https://www.rockykandola.com/

And https://hairmaidenindia.com

You will find links there to all my past podcast episodes. You’ll have all the businesses that I currently run, from my hair company, to my Tea company, to my vacation rental property company in Florida.

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Conclusion

In closing I want to remind you to subscribe to the Transform your Mind Podcast YouTube channel or iTunes and please rate and review our podcast.

I would also like to invite you to join my private Facebook group called life coach, we have a lot of life Coaches with daily inspirational messages.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-mothers-abandonment/

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How to Navigate Social Cues with Aspergers Diagnosis

January 4, 2021 Myrna Young

Daniel Mangena was diagnosed with, Aspergers, in his late 20's. Asperger's syndrome, is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction and nonverbal communication, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests.

Listen to full interview here:

I’m very familiar with, Aspergers, because I have a 21 year old son who has been diagnosed with, Asperger's syndrome, around 10 years of age.

So this interview with Daniel will be on the topic How to Navigate Social Cues with, Aspergers, Diagnosis

My son was so afraid of social interactions, he couldn't speak to strangers. He was so nervous speaking to people that he developed a stutter and the stutter made him almost unintelligible. As he's grew older, he practiced talking to people. He would talk to everybody that he meets, everybody would come up to me and say your son is such a wonderful kid that's, because he practiced and now he doesn't have the stutter and not afraid of talking to people.

Introduction to Asperger's Syndrome

After receiving a late diagnosis of, Asperger, and experiencing what can only be described as life-shattering trauma at the age of just 20, Daniel spent the next seven years struggling to keep his revelations and events from spilling in to his everyday life as a result of his struggles.

Daniel built a simple four-step system called “Beyond Intentional Paradigm”. Initially, it was built as a lifeline while he was grappling with suicidal thoughts; but beyond intention has transformed Daniel's life from misery into celebration through his own struggles. Daniel found a path to lasting joy and purpose and he wants nothing more than to share the tools that saved his life.

Daniel is the host of a “Do It with Dan” podcast series, regular blogs published articles and worldwide workshops that have helped thousands across the globe. His prolific work recently earned him a spot in the Wall Street Journal as a master of success and a scene on Wall Street Journal, Market Watch, ABC, NBC, CBS and Fox.

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Late Diagnosis of Asperger and lack of friendships

Myrna – You were diagnosed in your twenties with Asperger's. Did your family miss your lack of, social cues, or do you think you developed, Asperger, late?

Daniel – As a teenager, I’ve always been really blessed. For me, Asperger, has been a gift. It's been a gift because the way that my brain works has allowed me to achieve a lot and the social challenges and lack of, social cues, have effectively just been the cost of doing business. When you look at my brilliance, that came out academically including great achievements. I kind of just put up with me living with my foot in my mouth and being horribly awkward and unable to really relate, because there were other benefits that came with my diagnosis.

When things became clearer, siblings would tell stories and they're like, but we love you so because you were a loner. I don't really have friends. I never developed relationships and friendships other than my two friends – Nathan and Jamie, who were my friends since I was 15. I don't have any friends from middle school. I don't have any friends from high school. I’ve got one friend from college, because I didn't know how to form those bonds with people even when people wanted to form bonds with me. I didn't know how to hold and maintain those relationships.

I was missing out and studied much like your son practiced to learn, to understand what those shortfalls were and although it's a very conscious process, was able to then effectively operate socially.

Myrna – I understand the lack of friends because my son never developed friendships. I had twin girls, their world was friends. They didn't go to school to learn, they went to school to see their friends! My son’s friends were his teachers.

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Autism vs Aspergers

Myrna – Tell us what is, Asperger's syndrome, and why is it that people with, Aspergers, can’t understand, social cues?

Daniel – Essentially, the difference between what is commonly recognized as, Autism vs. Aspergers, is that someone that's more formally viewed as, autistic, doesn't have the ability to communicate with the outside world. Whereas, Aspergers, have the same thought processes; but we can actually communicate it. Whereas with, autism, especially if someone's non-verbal, they have no way to communicate those thought processes.

I found in my own experience that everything works in ones and zeros. It's very systematic and when there's a disconnection in that systemization, it falls apart. Social cues, are a very fluid, it's an art form. It's not there’s a science to it, but there's an art form to it which doesn't move in ones and zeros.

People that have brains like me don't know what to do with it and also because we're always things that you do unconsciously. For example, in this conversation I have to maintain concentration the entire time because I have to be aware that just because I’ve got something to say, doesn't mean that I have to say it now.

Myrna – My doctor compared my son to Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory. Just like Sheldon has to work very hard on understanding, social cues, and he would say and what he shouldn't say. He's usually very rude because he doesn't think about the other person's feelings. He just says what he feels or thinks.

Daniel – What I found to be my happy place with relationships and with, social cues, is to forget what I am thinking. I just walk away from it, I don't entertain it.

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Using Mindfulness to understand Social Cues

Myrna – I know that you're a podcast host and you interview people, so when you're interviewing like when you're doing this interview or when you're the host and you're talking, do you do the same thing? Do you have to get out of your head and operate from your heart space to understand, social cues, or is there other ways that you you're handling that situation?

Daniel – First and foremost, by using my tools of mindfulness and consciousness in order to engage in this space, I set very clear intensions about this time and set them aside. I’ve given my mind enough to let go by giving a box to play in. I have genuine conversations; I don't have to think about what I’m going to say, because I’m speaking from the heart. I’m thinking about how to engage with you, I’m holding that container; but in terms of the communication that's coming from the framework within my heart.

There's a conscious process in terms of setting that space to this is back and forth I’m sticking clear with my intention to share this space with you, to add value to your community, to create something beautiful together; but then I’m not thinking about what to say. I’m allowing the truth to come from heart based communication.

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What is Micro Shifting and how does it help with Asperger's Syndrome?

Myrna – In your Bio, you talked about, Micro Shifting. How can people with, Aspergers, use, micro shifting? Is there something specifically that you do because of the, Asperger, diagnosis or can anybody use this, micro shifting?

Daniel – Micro, Shifting, has actually shown and proven itself to be one of the most popular aspects of my work with people, because it just makes good sense and just gets good results. Anybody can have a quantum leap. Anyone can have a massive shift. Anyone can have that; but everybody can make baby steps. Baby steps move past resistance and moves past fear because you're just taking one step.

I’m not taking on the whole thing. Procrastination drops down and you can start to build a momentum towards success in an endeavor. Micro, shifting, is a consistent series of baby steps in the direction of a consciously chosen outcome. That's how I define it. Creates a momentum, a rhythm that gets us to where we're going without the anxiety around the big goal, without the ‘I can't do it’, without the resistance, just one step at a time.

It's, shifting, your mind to let's say if you've got a big goal, for instance – you want to write a book. What you're saying is that you take one step and then you complete that step and then you take another step. I understand the micro baby steps and the, shifting, is what you're saying is once you've completed this one step then you go on to the next one.

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Micro Shifting to Millions

Myrna – You don't look at the big picture like macro? You just do micro, shifting. That's good.

Daniel – There's a couple of overlays, there not to cut but there's a couple of overlays. First and foremost, Micro, shifting, in its pure essence is very much a surrender based process because you're opening up to God or the universe to present what that next step is and once that step is presented, then you ask yourself what is the smallest minimum deliverable – something I know I can do to move towards this step that God or the universe has presented to me.

I take that step, I celebrate and then I’m open to what the next step is holding i.e. the intention of what the final goal is. I don't need to keep looking at the big goal. I know if I go one step at a time, God's got my back on this one step at a time and then trusting that that next step is going to be revealed. Regardless of what shows up even if it looks like it's going wrong trusting that everything's going right, because the universe is taking care of me. God's got my back. The universe only gives me what I can handle and because I’ve been very conscious in choosing what I’m moving towards.

It is one of the cornerstones to teach. I don't do so much coaching. I’ve got a group program, my signature program is called “Micro to Millions” (principally around financial abundance). But people come for other things too because another cornerstone is that once you effect change somewhere it can be everywhere.

So, if I work on my challenges around abundance, I can use that as the doorway to work on my relationships to work on my health. We find that all the time people come because they want to make money. They find the love of their life, their health improves and they find their purpose and so on and so forth. Micro, shifting, is a cornerstone that's why it's called “Micro to Millions” because we are micro, shifting, all the way up to whatever abundance we want to get to.

Asperger's Syndrome and Conscious Living

Let's finish up with the, Asperger's Syndrome. How can someone with, Aspergers, live consciously?

Daniel – I would have thought that's a little difficult. I would actually say someone living with, Aspergers, is more properly set up to live consciously, because so much of our life is happening at a conscious level. It's not happening at an unconscious level because we're stepping through it as a process of thought, so we have the opportunity to interject along the way and introduce something different.

So, when I look at my social interactions for example, it's actually process wise more feasible that I can be more aware and be more present. When I'm having a conversation with you, because I'm doing it step by step anyway it's not just an auto play that's happening. I'm moving through it so I have more opportunity to step in and say am I having this conversation with you, with love and compassion. Am I intentional in what I want to gather from this conversation?

What I want to add to this conversation where I am? Where's my attention? Where's my awareness? There's actually more opportunity now. Opportunity doesn't mean there's going to be a probability of the outcome; but it does mean that there's an opportunity. Again that's one of the things I’m grateful for with my, Aspergers.

I have more opportunity to be presently aware, because I’ve got that step-by-step process happening in the background.

Myrna – If I were to break that down, I think what you're saying is the, Aspergers, mind. Because it's logical and it's doing the zero one thing that you're more conscious of what's going on because you were doing it logically. What you're saying, you're doing it. There's opportunity there to be conscious but we can be consciously unconscious.

Don't forget, we can be unconscious to our consciousness just because it's doesn't mean I’m giving up my attention. Go ahead and explain that one unconscious consciousness. The opportunity is there for me to be aware because it's a step-by-step process. It doesn't mean that I’m giving it my attention, I still have to give my attention to that step-by-step process. I get you see one coming and it's by giving it my attention now. There's a level of consciousness to it and now I can start to introduce intentionality in how I’m stepping through those communication.

Do it with Dan Podcast

Tell us about your podcast “Do it with Dan”

Dreamwithdan.com is my website and that’s where everything is – my books are there, podcasts, any free trainings and master classes. There's normally something. My next sort of major free offering is on the 15th of November – doing completely free workshop to empower business owners to create more abundance not-speaking for 15 minutes and selling for the rest of the time.

I’m actually recording a workshop and then I’m going to be selling later. I’m delivering a workshop that's going to sell for a hundred dollars. We're delivering it for free on the 15^th of November. I’m excited about that. All details for that sort of thing are always going to be on the website. My podcast is me just having conversations with people. I want to inspire change, remove the excuses that we have around change that we say we can't have and to give people tools that they can employ to create more change again.

Leaning towards this mission of more people living abundant joyful purpose-driven life, because if they're doing that, then we can reach that tipping point where we move from the 80 percent of negative to 80 of positive and that's what I’m really passionate about.

Conclusion

Myrna – Thank you for sharing with me as an Asperger parent. Maybe the listeners might have, Aspergers, because I think it's a big diagnosis now, right? They're saying that one in four boys has autism and the, Aspergers, is part of the, autism, spectrum.

A large amount of the population is working with some form of social anxiety. I was reading something on Quora about, Aspergers, and one of the things the guy was saying is that you know he couldn't follow instructions and I will tell you that was my biggest pet peeve with my son. I would tell him to do one thing and he does something totally different and apparently that's part of the Asperger brain to you can't follow complex instructions.

We can be successful even with a diagnosis as, Aspergers. It doesn't have to give you a life that doesn't have any quality and I know again, in your bio you mentioned that when you first got the diagnosis it was a hard. It was hard for you and you had some struggles even thinking of ending your life – kind of suicidal thoughts but you've worked with it and now you're on the other end and you're teaching.

I want to encourage you to subscribe to my YouTube channel so that you can watch our interview instead of just listening to it. But if you prefer to listen to it and you're listening on iTunes, I would love for you to subscribe. The more subscriptions we get of course, we're able to take the message to a wider audience.

I also want to invite you guys to join my life coaching group on Facebook. The group is growing by leaps and bounds.

Additional Resources

Can Introverts be Successful Networkers?

Executive Coaching, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, purpose, Spiritual Fulfillment, Spiritual Life Coaching

How Spiritual Awakening Can Solve Life’s Problems

December 22, 2020 Myrna Young 1 Comment

Spiritual Awakening, is like waking up from a dream. When we live like we are sleeping, we are just numb to, consciousness. Spirituality, or “of the spirit” are our thoughts. The concept of spiritual awakening, is that life isn’t random, there is a pattern and purpose to every existence. Deepak Chopra calls this Synchro-destiny. Every moment is pre-destined, it is as it should be. The reason that challenges arise is simple are to make us more aware of our inner purpose and destiny.

Introduction to Spiritual Awakening

Why is life so difficult? It can be said that if you are not facing challenges, you are dead!

The bible says teaches “like fish caught in a net, problems show up unexpectedly.”

Somehow life manages to bring difficult problems, the causes of untold suffering and struggle. How you meet your challenges makes all the difference between the promise of success and, spiritual awakening, and the specter of failure. Successful people look at solutions while unsuccessful people only see the problem. Spiritual Awakening, can help solve internal struggles.

Eckhart Tolle says “we should live life accepting what comes our way; not being too happy when good things happen to us and not being too sad when bad things happen to us. Live in the now”.

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When your, awareness, or, spirituality, expands events that seemed random begin to arrange themselves in a pattern; you become aware of a larger purpose and notice these events are actually related to the greater whole. Just as our bodies operate in a state of Homeostasis; in a similar way events and coincidences are all connected and are part of God's plan for your purpose. When you become, awakened, your purpose (which is unique for each person) you become like an architect who has been handed a blueprint of his or her, spirituality. Instead of laying bricks and fitting pipes at random, the architect can now proceed with confidence that he knows what the building should look like and how to construct it that's, spiritual awakening.

The first step in this process is recognizing what level of, awareness, you are working from right now. Every time a challenge comes your way, whether it is about relationships, work, personal transitions, or a crisis that demands action. It demands, spiritual awakening.

There are three levels of Spiritual Awakening.

Become aware of them, and you will take a huge step toward becoming a sorcerer and tapping into, spirituality.

Level 1: Contracted Awareness or no Spirituality

This is the level of the problem, and therefore it immediately grabs your attention. If all you see is the problem, then you need, spiritual awakening. Something has gone wrong. Expectations have turned sour. You face obstacles that don’t want to move. As resistance mounts, your situation still doesn’t improve because you are not tapping into your, spirituality. If you examine the level of the problem, the following elements are generally present:

Your desires are thwarted. Something you want is meeting with opposition. You feel as if every step forward is a battle.

You keep doing more of what never worked in the first place.

There is an underlying anxiety and fear of failure.
Your mind isn’t clear. There is confusion and inner conflict.
As frustration mounts, your energy is depleted. You feel more and more exhausted because you need to wake up, you need, spiritual awakening.

You can tell if you are stuck at the level of contracted, spiritual awakening, by one simple test:

Do you feel like the more you struggle to get free of the problem, the more you are trapped in it? In addition the law of attraction states that what you think about you bring about. The end result is that you get on the wave of negative thoughts , your, spirituality, that attract more of the same so not only does your problem not get resolved; but you attract more problems into your circumstance. Meditation, with positive thoughts, smiling, prayer, repeating positive mantras or scriptures are ways to create positive energies and break the negative cycle and start you, spiritual awakening.
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Level 2: Expanded Awareness or Spiritual Awakening

This is the level where solutions begin to appear. Your vision extends beyond the conflict, giving you more clarity. You are becoming one with your, spirituality. For most people this level isn’t immediately available, because their first reaction to a crisis is to contract and feel the pain of the situation. They become defensive, wary, and fearful. But if you allow yourself to expand, you will find that the following elements enter your, awareness:

The need to struggle begins to diminish. You put the problem in God's hands.

You start to let go. You stand on the principle that all roads lead to your destination

More people connect with you. You get council

You approach decisions with confidence.

You meet fear realistically (fear is perceived) and it starts to lessen.

With clearer vision, you no longer feel confused and conflicted.

You can tell that you have reached this level of, awareness, when you no longer feel stuck; a process has begun. With greater expansion, unseen forces come to your aid. You move forward according to what you desire from your life, your, awareness, and, spirituality.

Level 3: Pure Spiritual Awakening or Enlightenment

Pure, spiritual awakening, is when no problems exist. You have transcended suffering as Buddha did. Every challenge is a creative opportunity. You feel completely aligned with the forces of nature. You have aligned with your, spiritual awakening, and your, spirituality. What makes this possible is that, awareness, can expand without limits. Although it may seem that it takes long time to have true mastery of your mind and get on the, spiritual awakening, path to reach pure, awareness; the truth is exactly the opposite. At every moment pure, awareness, is in contact with you, sending creative impulses. All that matters is how open you are to the answers being presented. When you are fully open, the following elements will be present: There is no struggle.

You are present in the now. Your mind is not busy with noise about the past or anticipating the future.

Desires reach fulfillment spontaneously.

The next thing you want is the best thing that could happen to you. You are a benefit to yourself and your surroundings.

The outer world reflects what is happening in your inner world.

You feel completely safe. You are at home in the Universe.

You view yourself and the world with compassion and understanding.

To be completely established in pure, awareness, of, spirituality, and, enlightenment, is the basis of, spirituality, a state of unity with everything in existence. Ultimately, every life is moving in that direction. Without attaining the final goal, you can tell that you are in contact with pure, awareness, if you feel truly yourself, in a state of peace and freedom.

Each of these levels brings its own kind of experience. This can be easily seen when there is a sharp contrast or a sudden change. Love at first sight takes a person without warning from contracted, awareness, to expanded, awareness, and is a, spiritual, experience. Instead of relating in the normal social way, suddenly you see immense appeal, even perfection, in one other person. In creative work there is the “Aha!” experience. Instead of wrestling with a blocked imagination, suddenly the answer presents itself, fresh and new! No one doubts that such epiphanies exist. They can be life changing, as in the so- called peak experience, when reality is flooded with light and a revelation dawns. What people don’t see is that expanded, awareness, should be our normal state, not a moment of extraordinary difference.

Problems with, Spirituality

Listening to people tell their stories of problems, obstacles, failure, and frustration (an existence trapped in contracted, awareness, and, spirituality, one sees that reaching a new vision is critical. It is all too easy to get lost in particulars. The difficulties of facing each challenge are often overwhelming. No matter how intensely you feel your situation, which has its own unique difficulties, if you look to the right and left, you will see others who are just as caught up in their situations. Strip away the details, and what remains is a general cause of suffering: lack of, awareness, that everything is impermanent. Unless you are shown how to expand your, awareness, you have no choice but to experience the state of contraction caused from pain and suffering.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna — Transform Your mind Podcast

Just as the body flinches when faced with physical pain, the mind has a reflex that makes it draw back when faced with mental pain. Tony Robbins says that “people move away from pain and towards pleasure” Here again, a moment of sudden contrast makes it easy to experience what contraction feels like. Imagine yourself in any of the following situations:

You are a young mother who has taken your child to the playground. You chat for a moment with another mother, and when you turn around, you can’t see your child.

At work you are sitting at your computer when someone casually mentions that there are going to be layoffs, and by the way, the boss wants to see you.

You open your mailbox and find a letter from the Internal Revenue Service and you remembered that you do not have your receipts.

While driving you approach an intersection when, out of the blue, a car behind you swerves past your car and runs a red light.

You walk into a restaurant and see your spouse sitting with an attractive companion. They are leaning in toward each other, holding hands and talking in low voices.

It doesn’t take much imagination to feel the sudden change of, awareness, that these situations provoke. Panic, anxiety, anger, and apprehension flood your mind; these are the result of brain changes as the lower brain takes precedent over the higher brain, triggering the release of adrenaline as part of an array of physical responses known as the stress response. Any feeling is both mental and physical. The brain gives a precise representation of what the mind is experiencing, drawing on infinite combinations of electro chemical signals coursing through one hundred billion neurons. A brain researcher can pinpoint with ever-increasing accuracy exactly those regions that produce such changes. What cannot be seen on an MRI is the mental event that incites all these changes, because the mind functions at the invisible level of awareness or consciousness. We can take these two terms as synonyms, but let’s explore them a little.

Business Problems created from lack of Spiritual Awakening

Spirituality, deals with your state of, awareness. It isn’t the same as medicine or psychotherapy. Medicine deals in the physical aspect where bodily changes occur. Psychotherapy deals with a specific difficulty, such as anxiety, depression, or actual mental illness. Spirituality, confronts, awareness, directly. It aims to produce higher consciousness. In our society this is seen as less real than the other ways of approaching problems. In times of trouble, people cope as best as they can with a swirling confusion of fear, anger, mood swings, and everyday struggle. It doesn’t even occur to them to pair the two words, spirituality, and solution in the same sentence; this points to a limited vision about what spirituality really is, and what it can do for you. We must incorporate our non-physical being with our physical body to solve everyday problems.

Additional Resources

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKpmXhGVMxI&vl=en

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reprogram-your-unconscious-mind/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

blog, Life Coaching, Life Coaching Blog, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast

Why Chemistry is the Most Important Ingredient in Relationships

December 21, 2020 Myrna Young 6 Comments

Chemistry, is energy. It cannot be created or destroyed. Some call it physical attraction; but, Chemistry, is biological. It happens when your DNA gets excited by the other person’s DNA.

As we head into the New Year I know that many of you are engaging the, Law of Attraction, to bring you a spouse or a mate in 2021.

We are not meant to be alone. The Bible says that Two are better than one, because If either of them falls down, one can help the other, so we are hard wired with the need to share our lives with a significant other.

Listen to the audio here:

What are the 3 most important qualities in Relationships

I want to share three of the foundational qualities of love, relationships.

Compatibility,
Chemistry, and
Communication

Let’s start with, compatibility. There is a significant amount of dating sites connecting couples based on, compatibility.

Is Compatibility the most Important quality in Relationships'

Compatibility, is important; but not the most important. Compatibility, is based on likes and dislikes, Like Religious preferences, standard of living, education etc.

But there is an old saying that says opposites attract.

There is also a new word floating around the internet and that is, polarity. Polarity is like the north and South Pole. Opposite ends of the spectrum and we need this polarity in relationships to keep the fires burning.

So when you marry someone who is just like you and you are so, compatible, love coaches say that sooner or later married couples stop having sex because there is no, polarity.

What is Chemistry?

Now let’s look at, Chemistry. Chemistry, is energy. It cannot be created or destroyed. Some call it physical attraction; but, Chemistry, is biological. It happens when your DNA gets excited by the other person’s DNA. It is random; but absolutely essential for a long lasting, love connection. It is what makes your heart ache when you are apart.

Chemistry, is also reflected in the bedroom. A lack of, chemistry, will mean boring, emotionless sex. A high degree of, chemistry, will mean intense, life-altering, heart-pounding sex that causes your mind to cosmically splatter itself on the walls of your consciousness. Good times.

Some call , chemistry, connection but whatever you call it, you know when it is there and when it is not.

Some call, chemistry, meeting your, soul mate. I do believe that our souls know when we connect to our perfect match. When you meet your, soul mate, the connection is immediate, you feel the, chemistry.

Steve Harvey said that his wife walked into one of his comedy shows in a crowd of hundreds and he stopped what he was doing and told her she was going to be his wife. There are thousands of stories like this to highlight what, chemistry, looks like.

When my husband first saw me, he said he felt this warm feeling in his body that is DNA, that is, chemistry! The first time I spoke to my husband my heart did summersaults for a week! Definitely, chemistry.

But here is the question of the day. Can you have a successful marriage with, compatibility, and no, chemistry? I am sure you can with commitment; but it would be equivalent to being married to your roommate.

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Is Effective Communication the foundation for a Happy Marriage?

Finally, let’s look at, communication

Communication, usually gets the blame when a marriage or relationship fail, because if there is no, communication, you can’t have a successful marriage or relationship.

We all have different, communication, styles so, effective communication, is the most important and the least understood dynamic. It is the deal breaker.

Conclusion: Chemistry Compatibility Communication

As we wrap up, I want to leave you with some of the main differences between men and women.

Women are all about their feelings, Men don’t trust feelings.
Women connect emotionally with “talking,” Men talk to pass on data, period.
Women have to feel good to do good, Men have to do good to feel good.
Women want to hear all about it, Men don’t want to talk about it.
Women need to feel connected to have sex, Men connect with sex.
Women’s happiness resides in the state of their relationships; all their relationships. Men’s happiness resides in their accomplishments and their ability to provide and protect their love ones.
Women get depressed when they feel like all they do is give but that they don’t get back, while Men get depressed when they feel no one appreciates them.

Understanding these differences is the first step towards creating successful long lasting relationships. Check out John Gray book “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus”

Additional Resources

How Single Women over 40 Find Love

How to Find your Soulmate

blog, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast

How Black Fathers Can replace the Absentee Dad Myth

December 14, 2020 Myrna Young

Black Fathers, are so valuable, we are so important. We have to take care of ourselves, we have to get over this idea of stepping back or I can't deal with this and be there for our black families.

Carl Stokes Jr. is an author, keynote speaker, professor and social worker and author of the brand new book “A Straightforward Guide for Black Fathers to Improve Themselves and their Relationships with their Children” So this post is about Fatherhood, and the Issue of, Black Fathers, because in the black community we have the label of the, black fathers, are usually, absentee Dads.

Listen to the full interview here:

Introduction Why Black Fathers need to be visible

Dr Carl decided to write this book and mentor, black fathers, because it is something that the black community needs to get better at. Carl Stokes Jr. is an award-winning social worker, educator, college instructor and recently received his doctorate in education. His dissertation focuses on, Black Fathers, and their perseverance in community colleges. Dr Carl is passionate about working to uplift the black community. He also enjoys teaching, parenting classes, for a small non-profit organization.

Myrna – As a black man tell us your story of your relationship with your, father, and your current relationships with your daughters. I'm curious to know, because a lot of times we work on areas that we have lived through.

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Dr Carl – What's interesting is that my answer is both. I grew up with my, black father, and without my, black father. My dad was in the home until I was about 10 or 11 years old, unfortunately though during that time he had fallen victim to the crack cocaine epidemic of the 80s. So my, father, was in a home; but life was very difficult during that time; because of what he was going through.

However, he was still in the home, there was still benefits of his presence. Then things got really bad to the point where we were basically forced out. I went through that whole period of teenage years and everything without guidance of my, father. So, as an adult, I can see the difference between an, absentee dad, and a, Black father, in the home. Because even though my, father, wasn't at his best, when he was in the home I benefited form him being visible.

Why Black Fathers should be visible to their kids

Myrna – So between the ages of 1 and 10 your dad was in the home; but he even though he couldn't be a, father, because he was under the influence of crack cocaine, what you are saying is that the fact your, father, was in the home; it had some positive effect on you.

Dr Carl – Absolutely! Discipline wise, teaching me how to protect and take care of my mother, because he was gone a lot. He would have conversations with me. It was nice having a, father, to talk to. It was a benefit to me and my younger brother.

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I can sit here and say that I did get lessons from having that male presence in the house. I can also say I also experienced domestic violence and theft. I also experienced run-ins with the police and people from the street and all that. I wouldn't say stick it out regardless, because I just as easily could have went the other way. I was just fortunate enough to take the more positive path.

Why is being a visible Black Father is Important

Myrna – Let's transition to your relationship with your daughters. You have three daughters. How do you parent them knowing that you didn't have a, father, since you were 10 years old?

Dr Carl – Okay, this is where it gets a little bit interesting and sort of complicated, because I became a, black father, at 17 years old. I was a senior in high school, unfortunately because I was so young and because I didn't have the guidance and I was immature, I ended up not handling my, parenting, as a, Black father, the way I should have. My daughter’s mother decided to move to Atlanta Georgia and take my daughter with her.

I didn't know I had rights. I didn't know that I shouldn’t have allowed her to take my daughter without working out any arrangements. The separation caused damage to the relationship between me and my first daughter. When I became a, Black Father, to my other two daughters, I vowed that nothing was going to stop me from being a good dad. Fatherhood, became my absolute top priority.

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Replacing the Absentee Black Father Myth

Myrna – Why is it that traditionally, black fathers, have been absent? We know we've got the crack epidemic, we know we've got prison; but even when none of those circumstances are present, black fathers, still don't make it a priority to parent their children. Why do you think that is the situation?

Dr Carl – We kind of lowered our own expectations as, Black dads. We have very little guidance and then when we put the other things in a mix;

incarceration,
impoverished conditions,
relationship struggles and finances.
It causes extra stress and strain on, Black fathers, and their relationships with their kids.

Myrna – I actually just started reading Mike Tyson's book “Undisputed Truth”. If you want to hear about a messed up Black family with no role models, this is the book to read. I couldn’t believe all the stuff that Mike Tyson lived through as a child without a, Black father, and an, absentee dad. How can, Black Dads, have a relationship with their kids and a relationship as a husband when all they know is dysfunction?

A Guide for Black Fathers

Why did you write the book “Reclaim your Visibility: A Straightforward Guide for Black Men to Improve Themselves and their Relationship with your Children?

Dr Carl – I wrote this book simply because of this: I got it wrong for many years and I want to assist in the idea of, black fathers, not having to go through being an, absentee dad, and learn from my mistakes. My eldest daughter and I had a very rocky path and I don't want that to go in vain. I don't want to just talk about the plight of, Black Fatherhood, I want to do something about it. If I can help one, Black Father, have a better relationship with their child or children, then it's totally worth it.

Myrna – What makes your guide book different from all the other, Fatherhood, books?

Dr Carl – I am not the old wise man on top of the mountain talking to the village. The reason why this book is different is I literally started to repair my relationship with my eldest daughter this past summer. So this book is about real life, not theory.

Myrna – A lot of, Black Fathers, are, absentee dads. Do you think that they can repair the damage and build back a relationship with their children?

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Dr Carl – Absolutely! We can't always take it back; but we have to learn from these mistakes and move on. That is the basis of the book and that's why it's called “A Straightforward Guide for Black Fathers to Improve Themselves and their Relationships with their Children” Because a lot of times, black fathers, need healing ourselves.

How to offer support for Black Father in College

Myrna – You mentioned that you did a doctoral thesis and research on Black Fathers in Colleges. Tell us about that.

Dr Carl – The dissertation is actually on, Black Student Fathers, and their persistence and perseverance in community Colleges. I was a community college, Black Father, with a child and a lot of times, these schools have programs for mothers; but no guidance for, Black Dads. I wanted to do something different and focus on this very specific population, black student fathers, in community college settings.

Myrna – Tell us about your media company – Stokes Media LLC.

Dr Carl – In the media piece, I do several things. This is my official company where I do speaking engagements, seminars conferences, trainings and mentoring. The other sides of my books are self-published. I'm also assisting other people to help get their stories out and become published Authors. So the whole Stokes Media concept embodies all those things.

Myrna – Tell our listeners and those watching on YouTube how to contact you and get a copy of your book.

Dr Carl – The easiest way to contact me is to go directly to my website www.drcarlstokesjr.com. You can go right to the contact page and fill out the inquiry form. You can ask questions, leave comments/feedback or whatever you want to do.

Myrna – You also mentor, Black Fathers, at a non-profit organization. Tell us about that.

Dr Carl – I actually do, parenting classes, for an agency here in Buffalo called the “Family Help Center”. So when parents are looking for assistance, I help.

How Co-parenting can help Black Fathers stay visible

Myrna – When you do the, parenting classes, can you walk us through some of your subjects or the things that you talk about? In this conversation we've been focusing on, Black Fathers, but all fathers can benefit from your book and, parenting. What advise would you give them?

Dr Carl – I would say the number one advice I would give to parents is on, co-parenting. I don't care if you don't get along, I don't care if all broke up because he was doing this or doing that. What's important is the child or the children. We have to learn to get along for the sake of the children and be fair to each other for the sake of the children. Your children are witnessing and understanding these arguments, these disagreements, these accusations and things like that.

We tend to think that the kids are stupid and they're not listening to anything. Let me tell you, they're taking in everything, they're taking in how you feel, they're taking in the energy that you're putting out and they are internalizing the things that they're hearing. So, co-parenting, is key especially in our community we have to get that fixed.

What is the message for Black Fathers

Myrna – What is the message that you want them to take away with when they close the book?

Dr Carl – The predominant message of the book if I had to break it down into one main theme, I would say I would want my, black fathers, to understand how important we are to the situation. As a foundation of the family, to us being better as a community as a whole. Black Fathers, are so valuable, we are so important, we have to take care of ourselves, we have to get over this idea of stepping back or I can't deal with this.

We have to understand how meaningful it is for us to be around and holding down our families. We hold down our households, our households work together to hold down our neighborhoods, our neighborhoods hold it down together to hold down our communities and it spreads on like that.

We don't need to worry about or hope for everybody else to do this for us, we can do it ourselves; but it starts with us being in the house and visible to our kids. Even if you don't live in the house, I'm just saying the presence of involvement is necessary. Not everybody is going to be together, and that's why we talk about, co-parenting. Our presence is so valuable, we have to make sure that we handle our business as a, black father.

Myrna – Where can they get the book?

Dr Carl – You can get the book on Amazon Kindle. If you want a signed copy you can get it from me directly at www.drcarlstokesjunior.com.

If anybody wants the Audio book, go to my site www.drcarlstonesjr.com. Order the Audio book and there's a free sample on there.

Enter the code “stay visible2021” and you'll get 25% off of the Audio book.

Conclusion

Black Fathers, are important to the community. Any father is important to the community; but we're concentrating on our community, the black community. Our community is jacked up. Like you said you go to your friend's house and they've got a mom and a dad and food in the kitchen and everybody is getting along. You're not outside throwing things at each other and having the police come by and all that which is a lot of which is the lifestyle of some children in the, black community.

Shout out to my Atlanta audience. Hopefully your daughter can listen on the radio WDJY 99.1 FM.

I want to encourage you guys if you're watching us on YouTube to please subscribe. We're trying to grow our channel because it's much more exciting to actually see the person that I'm interviewing. So, if you're watching on YouTube, kindly subscribe so you'll be able to get the new videos as they come out every week.

If you're listening on the radio and you want to be able to hear the podcast another time other than the radio broadcast, I encourage you to subscribe to any of the 11 podcast players that the show airs on.

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If you're in iTunes, please read and review because that allows us to grow our audience as well. I also have a Facebook group called Life Coach. I invite you guys all to join.

Additional Resources

Celebrating Black Love Introducing BlackdateBox

http://blog.myhelps.us/self-love-secret-out-of-the-snares/

Life Coaching, Life Coaching Blog, lifecoaching, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, relationship coaching

How to Embrace Your Goddess in the Bedroom: 50 Shades of Grey Style

December 12, 2020 Myrna Young

Would you like to have, 50 shades of Grey, in your Bedroom? Find out how to have the, sexual confidence, of, Dakota Johnson, by embracing your, Goddess, in the Bedroom. Life Coach Myrna Young, interviews Intimacy and Orgasmic Coach, Margo Blake. Margo is going to teach you How to Embrace Your, Goddess, in the Bedroom with, sexual confidence.

As a teen mom Margo was forced into developing her, sexual confidence, at an early age. At 48 years old she decided to learn the secrets of the, intimacy, that had always eluded her. Even though she was always, sexually confident, She wanted to know more about the RAW, Vulnerable parts of herself that she always held back from men and address her, fear of intimacy. She wanted to find out for herself and also to teach other women to embrace there, intimacy issues. So she started, intimacy coaching, teaching women How to be, sexually confident, and embrace their Goddess in the bedroom, 50 shades of grey, style.

Your own, 50 Shades of Grey, in the bedroom

In celebration of the movie “50 Shades Freed” and Valentines Day, I wanted to give my listeners a gift. A gift of Awakening along the lines of the Awakening felt by, Dakota Johnson, by Christian Grey.

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Margo teaches women to use their voice to tell their partners what they want and don't want. She teaches women that men should be in servitude to them and they should have, sexual confidence, about their sexuality, embracing their Goddess and their, 50 shades of grey, in the bedroom fully!

As women of all ages are bored with their partners, the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, captures and excites women, the same way Christian Grey captures and excites, Dakota Johnson. Women are bored with the vanilla love making and vanilla lifestyle. We want our ice cream with sprinkles on top!

Melania Trump is one, Sexually Confident, woman! In an interview with Howard Stern, the First Lady disclosed some steamy information about her intimate life with the President. Read more: https://amomama.com/56829-melania-trump-confides-presidents-strong.html

Show notes: Goddess in the Bedroom

Can you tell my audience your back story. How did you start, intimacy coaching?

Well I'm going to try to do this very quickly because I am 54 years old and fabulous, so I'm going to try to speed it up. I was a teenage mom at 16 years old. I started to embrace my, sexuality, as a teenager but lacked, sexual confidence, and I had no, intimacy, with my partners.

I got married and divorced and when I turned 48 I felt I was missing out on life. I was close to 50 years old and my whole history of my relationships with men was sad. Men always left me. I'm going to transition out my relationship which was going on 10 years and I wanted to be me and embrace my, sexuality and become more intimate with my partners.

That's how I became an, intimacy coach, and started, intimacy coaching. I did a transformational workshop and certification with One Taste Coaching and I started to mentor clients for the last

six years. The last three years I've been on the journey of becoming an intimate orgasmic Life Coach with One Taste.

2. Question 2: What advice would you give to young women today on how to embrace their, Goddess, in the Bedroom and to How to be confident about their, sexuality?

If I had to give myself my sixteen-year-old self advice about my sexuality the first thing I would have asked was, why am I with this particular guy? As they develop, sexual confidence, you want to start telling men what you want and by doing that, we create a whole world of men of servitude. So once again the advice I would give young women and older women is learning to communicate what your desires are. I want it this way, no I don't want it that way.

50 Shades of Grey the Movie

In the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, Dakota Johnson, is a young woman inexperienced in sex and becomes drawn in the world of a, dominatrix, Christian Grey. All three movies were well received; but it still received a lot of criticism about showcasing abuse of women. What do you think the message of the film, 50 shades of grey, is for young women like, Dakota Johnson?

The movie, 50 shades of Grey, to me is is all about love and service and sex and that kind of thing

but I remember when I took my mom to see the movie. I posted it on Facebook several women responded with outrage saying how can I glorify that movie it abuses women.

Margo- I embrace the movie, it's of excited us to escape having a vanilla lifestyle. It's a different

type of lifestyle that they both agree on. It's all about giving up and surrendering to your man. It’s all about, intimacy, and, sexual confidence. That's what, Dakota Johnson, did she surrendered to the power-play. She trusted herself , and her, sexuality.

That person that posted on your Facebook page that she was abused couldn’t have seen the movie. She didn't see what you and I saw, because there was no abuse, it was it was consensual sex even though Christian Grey was a, dominatrix.

What constitutes, intimacy?

Margo what would you call, intimacy? Is it that raw vulnerable part that you allow your partner or your friends to see?

Margo- Intimacy, it's the part of you that does not lie. It's the part of you that allows your friends, your family, or your lover to look you in the eye and connect with you. So hypothetically if you are feeling sad can look at your daughter or your daughter can look at you and connect with you?

Because some of us were masks. We wear a mask our whole life, we don't allow people to see that vulnerable part of us.

Intimacy, is being able to communicate what you're feeling and not masking. Intimacy, is allowing that person to really see you without lying and without the drama.

Myrna – How does, intimacy, come into play in the bedroom? How do we find our, Goddess, in the bedroom?

Margo – Intimacy, is having the ability to tell your partner exactly how you want it, when you want it and how long you want it. That's, intimacy. You don't need to be like an army instructor, you just communicate. There's no words it's just your bodies and it's just your mind.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/alchemy-desire-episode-5-long-term-relationship-dance/

How to Embrace Female Sexuality and the Divine Feminine

Life Coaching, Love and Religion, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, Spiritual Fulfillment, Spiritual Life Coaching

How to Access God Through Worship

December 7, 2020 Myrna Young 1 Comment

Worship, definitely brings access because, God loves, worship. He's our creator and He loves it when we make time for Him. He wants us to actually, worship, and praise Him. To enter His gate with thanksgiving and His courts with praise.

Worship, is one of my favorite topics. I have a very special relationship with, praise and worship. Whenever I'm in, worship, I’m so moved the feeling intimacy with, God.

My guest today is Tricie Graham. This post is how to take your, worship, to the next level. My pastor would say a church without, worship, is like absent fire; because you need to bring the fire in your worship.

Listen to the full interview

Introduction to, Praise and Worship

Tricie Graham was born and raised in Detroit Michigan and now resides in Chicago Illinois. She grew up in a Pentecostal Church on the West side of Detroit as the daughter of an Assistant Pastor who later became a Pastor. As a dreamer and a seer, Tricie came to be acquainted with the prophetic at a very young age. Tricie now works alongside her husband Elliott Graham in Evangelism and outreach at Good Seed Ground Ministries.

Tricie is a prophetess, teacher, dream interpreter and intercessor trained in spiritual warfare. (That's some good skills) She believes in the supernatural, God, of the Bible and has experienced miraculous encounters with, God. Tricie is passionate about helping others to achieve intimacy with, God, through a relationship with His son, Jesus Christ. She’s also a freelance writer and author of the book “A Higher Place of Worship”.

Introduction to A Higher Place of Worship

Myrna – Why did you write this book? Tell us how this book came about and what was your inspiration for writing it?

Tricie – My inspiration for writing “A Higher Place of Worship” began with my recovery from COVID 19. I was sick in March. I was diagnosed with COVID 19. I was sick for about three weeks, I was really ill. During this sickness and even before then I was asking, God, what my next step in my life would be. Where do I go from here?

So as soon as I recovered from COVID 19, the Lord told me to go and revisit some notes from a message I had taught back in December of 2018. The message was on, worship. As I did that, I heard the Lord say that He wanted me to write a book on, worship.

Myrna – Tell us more about your, worship, message and why, God, wanted you to talk on, worship specifically?

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Tricie – I was lying in bed very scared. I had just come back from the hospital with this diagnosis and I was praying to God. I was asking Him – Lord, if you're in my corner, please show me. I fell asleep. That night my whole body was aching; I have a headache, I have a fever and my chest was very congested. Though, I can still breathe, I'm having all these different symptoms. Scared thoughts were racing through my mind of what's going to happen next. Am I dying?

God Had me in his Arms

With all the news all over the world that people are dying and losing their lives, I cried out to, God, with my whole being saying “Lord, if you're with me please show me.” I didn't know how the answer was going to come, so I go to sleep. That night, I dreamed of being on a balcony and as I'm on this balcony, I saw a man sitting in the corner.

As I held on to the banister, because I felt I was going to fall. I actually fell backwards onto the Balcony and this man caught me. So, when I woke up I knew that, God, heard my prayers and I knew that He had me in his arms.

Is Worship Prayer?

Myrna – But you weren't really worshiping right? You were just praying to God.

Tricie – I want to go into that. It's a higher place of, Worship. Most people when they think of the word, Worship, that is maybe lifting your hands or singing a song or maybe just having a moment with the Lord. But I want to challenge everybody to know that, worship, is spilled over into every part of your life. It includes everything we do from the time we wake up to the time we go to Sleep. That's where the idea for the name “A Higher Place of Worship” came from.

That’s the foundation message of my book. Our, worship, should spill over into our prayer life. It should go over into maintaining a relationship with, God, outside of the church. During COVID-19, a lot of churches were closed, so how do we, worship? We have to find our place to, worship, wherever we are and that includes our homes.

Worship, includes reading the Word of God, it includes fasting, and listening to hear the voice of God. Worship, includes so many different areas in life. God, requires us to always have a mindset of, worship, wherever we are.

How to Worship

I have a chapter called a “Permanent Place of Worship”. There's a section in there that talks about how to stay rooted and grounded in, God, no matter what's going on around you. This book could be for anybody. It could be for someone just starting out as a Christian believer, it could be for someone who’s been saved for a long time and has been in church for some years, and it's definitely for the skeptics. I want it to be for the skeptics that may not know if, God, is real so that they can experience the, God, of the Bible – the Supernatural, God, of the Bible.

I have a lot of supernatural experiences and testimonies in the book, so that people can know that, God, is still a, Supernatural God.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

There are three sections in all.

A particular section is called “Mindful Worship” – how, worship, can spill over into every area of our minds. We should, worship. the Lord with our minds because the scripture says that we should love the Lord our God with all our hearts, with all our souls and with all our minds.
Changing the channel – Mindful of our thoughts and change the channel we're experiencing negative thoughts. Negative thought patterns can be changed by changing the channel. When we feed on the word of, God, we can actually change the channel.
Renew our minds – God wants all of us to, worship. We're worshiping him by the renewing of our minds. We are giving Him total control because where the mind goes, the body follows. So the thought originates in your mind, then it becomes an action. God. wants our actions to line up with His word. That's why we should renew our minds with the word each day.

Use Worship to renew Our Minds

Myrna – That’s one of the reasons I named this podcast ‘Transform Your Mind’ because you know the Bible says be renewed by the transformation of your mind. You can't do anything or achieve any kind of success whether it's in a business, in your relationship, even your marriage. I have found that even transforming my mind in my marriage has made my marriage a little better.

Tricie – Anything that you need to do whether it's worshiping God, using scriptures as your foundation, in your work or whatever, it all starts with your mindset. I want to challenge Christians and non-believers alike to take it a step further to kind of go out of the box to, worship, on a different level that you haven't. A lot of Christians aren't experiencing, God, on that level, because they're not taking the time to do what it is that the Bible says to do. If you read the word of God on a regular basis and you practice it, you can experience, God, on a new level that you haven't before, even if you've been in church for 30 years.

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Does Worship Give us Access to God?

Myrna – Why do you feel that when we, worship, it opens a path to access God?

Tricie – I believe, worship, gives us access to, God, because that's the way we communicate with Him. That's the way we interact with, God, that's the way to have a relationship with Him.

Anytime you want to be close to someone, you have to make time to talk to them, you have to make time to learn about them, you have to make time to maintain that relationship.

It's no different with God as it pertains to, worship. We're supposed to keep that relationship with Him and, worship, Him on the level that we can experience Him. Worship, definitely brings access because, God, loves, worship. He wants us to, worship, Him. He's our creator and He loves it when we make time for Him. He wants us to actually, worship, and praise Him. To enter His gate with thanksgiving and His courts with praise.

Is Faith different from Worship?

Myrna – What is the difference between, faith, and, worship? One of the things that I’ve learned in my walk with the Lord is that even if you, praise and worship, but you don't have, faith, then nothing happens because, faith, is the communication language of God. So can you connect the dots for us between, faith and worship?

Tricie – Absolutely, there's a scripture in Hebrews 11:

says without, faith, it's impossible to please, God, and that He that comes to, God, must first believe that He is a Rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.

So, faith, is definitely a cornerstone of worshiping, God. If you don't have, faith, you won't be able to access any of the promises that He has for you. Faith, is definitely important. Probably I would say the number two thing.

Love is number one. The bible says that these three things,

Faith, Hope and Charity, but the greatest of these is charity.

So our love is definitely first; but, faith, is very important as well as number two.

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A Higher Place of Worship

Myrna – What do you want someone that reads your book; “A Higher Place of Worship” walk away with when they finished the chapters and close the book?

Tricie – I want the listeners or the readers of my book to walk away with

A profound sense of getting back to the original blueprint of worship – where it all began without all the lights and the smoke during, praise and worship.
Without all the eyes, without everybody watching you, without your pastor actually seeing you raising your hands and when nobody's there to see you pray when you have the microphone.
I want them to know that a real relationship with, Christ Jesus, is possible outside of church.
To walk away with knowing how to hear the voice of, God.
People to walk away knowing that when you access, God, through, worship, that your life won't be the same.
No matter how long they've been with, God, in a relationship that they can have a more profound sense of knowing, because God is all-knowing. When you walk with Him, there are things that He can show you. I believe each day of your life as you live, no matter how old you are living there's always room to grow in our relationship with, God.
Also, I want them to walk away knowing that they have access to God no matter who they are.
I want them to walk away knowing that, God, wants them to be stretched with, worship. They can actually get to a place that they never thought they could get. We are supposed to actually have a very intimate relationship with God. It's not just for pastors or for teachers; it's for all of us as believers.
We all can hear the voice of God. Yes, that's what I want everyone to walk away with.

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Conclusion A Higher Place of Worship

That's good and beautiful. The book is available on Amazon Kindle. I can be reached on Facebook at the remnant page of my ministry page. Also they can reach me at “Tricie Graham” on Facebook as well or either Triciegraham@yahoo.com.

I want to remind you to watch us on YouTube. To subscribe to the channel so that you can watch this program as well as listen to it. If you're listening on iTunes. I would love you to post a review and to subscribe. I would also like to invite you guys to join my private Facebook group which is called “Life Coach”.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/does-god-answer-prayer/

How to Communicate with your Guardian Angel

blog, coaching, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast

How to Live with Intention During the Tension

December 1, 2020 Myrna Young

We all know that there's a lot of, tension, right now in the world. We can't even just say America because this is a global pandemic. There's a lot of uncertainty so living with, intention, relieves stress.

A few weeks ago I was looking at these large groups and wondering If I would ever again be comfortable at a concert or a parade with thousands of people? Will our consciousness around this, tension, be changed forever?

Listen to the full interview

Introduction Intentional living in the Tension

So how do we traverse this, tension, with, intention? We shouldn't always just react, we should have some, intention.

Meanwhile, one of the things I also want to mention is, intentional living. Some people are have the, intention, to live intentionally. The people who practice, intentional living, are called, minimalists. What, minimalists, do for intentional living is they intentionally live with few possessions. They do that because, intentional living, with only the items that support your purpose, is one of the ways to live with, intention. So, minimalists, are saying “we don't need all this stuff, we're getting rid of all this junk and we're going to practice, intentional living.

Minimalists, made me remember or think about the tiny homes movement.

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Thane Marcus Ringler on Intention in the Tension

Thane Marcus Ringler, is a former professional golfer turned speaker, writer and development coach living in Denver Colorado with his wife, Evan. Thane's mission is to help others live and work better. He's passionate about speaking to the journey from the journey and is striving to empower this generation to take ownership of their lives and never settle for less than they're capable of.

Thane is the host of the “Up and Comers” show – a podcast all about the process of becoming and, intentional living, while sharing stories from other inspiring Up and Comers. Find out more about Thane and his work on, intention, in the, tension, by visiting him on the web.

Alright, I'm going to digress a little bit from the normal start to my interviews, because, I love your podcast the Up and Comers show because I love stories. Stories are a good way to teach as you said; you do stories on, living intentionally. Do you follow the format of the American life podcast? They perfected storytelling and became the first popular podcast.

Thane – Thanks for asking. It's been a really fun journey of about four years now. Obviously when you do something for that length of time, it changes a lot as you do it. It kind of shifts and iterates into different forms; but ultimately it was mirrored off of similar shows like the Tim Ferriss show or even the Joe Rogan experience. In that, they're long-form interviews that are more of a dance than a system, with the length of time being on average with interviews around 90 minutes.

It allows someone's story to really be told. People that are, living intentionally, like you said earlier, in this, tension, because I think that is the big difference between, intentional living, and maybe normal living.

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What is Intentional Living?

Myrna – Yes, I love hearing how we can do, intentional living. Whether it's intentional for personal growth which is basically my, intention, learning something every day and not to be reactive, living intentionally.

Thane – Everyone does have a story to tell and I think those are really fun to hear from other people mine. I grew up in Kansas, the Central heartland of America and ended up going to California for college, spent about 10 years out there in LA. Vastly different cultures just socially and interacted with a lot of different peoples within that timeframe. I did play golf.

My whole life I was an athlete and competitor; I ended up getting to play about four years professionally, that was a really neat journey. I felt very blessed to have that opportunity in the second half of my career when I faced that injury that repeated about five times over a year and a half that sidelined me for a lot of it. That was very frustrating; but also diversified my interests.

During that time, I started the podcast with a buddy of mine. Thereafter, I started on my journey of writing the book that you talked about last time. From Here to There was my first book and that was really about the experience of playing golf. My whole life in a high level taught me about how to pursue excellence in any field and then from that I kind of went on building a speaking career and pursuing more opportunities as a speaker.

That was a really neat adventure. This coaching practice has kind of been the main focus outside of professional golf for the last three years, working with individuals on personal and professional development.

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Using the power of intention to get unstuck in life

A lot of times that involves three types of people:

People who are stuck and want to get unstuck.
Some who are transitioning or starting something on the side and want help with finding the right path to follow or even the feedback that they need to hear on how they can develop to set themselves up for success.
Then, finally people who want to level up in their work or in their lives and need some extra accountability and objectivity to do that.

Life Coaching part 1: Who am I

That's been a really fulfilling process for me, I help people live with, intention. Playing golf I was more focused on myself and not other people. Most recently, this year I got married at the start of COVID and moved to Denver where my wife and I now live, and that's been a really sweet transition even though so much change is going on in our world. We've definitely experienced a lot of that even personally.

This fall, I'm really excited. In November, the two online courses I’ve been building are going to be finally released and that's been the next chapter that I’m really excited about.

Myrna – So, how does the, power of intention, help when you're stuck, afraid alone like many of us during this pandemic?

One of the areas that you mentioned that you coach is helping people who are in the stuck place in life. I would probably think that most of the people that are coming into the life coaching conversation is stuck somewhere, right?

Well as humans, we all are to some extent constantly either stuck in a circular movement. Usually that means digressing or decaying in some way where we're growing, we're moving forward and there's really in between there's no sitting on the fence in the middle of those two sides, at least not for very long. I like to think, as humans, I think our natural default if we don't make a choice is to go down the path of least resistance and not live with, intention.

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Intentional living is going with the flow

So, if we don't choose, living intentionally, we're going to be going downhill. Our brains are designed that way. In order to go upstream or the path of most resistance, we have to have effort and, intention, which is ultimately discipline. Discipline is effort, and, intention, is saying “I’m going to choose to go upstream and I’m going to put forth the effort to do so by rowing or whatever the illustration”.

I struggled with this idea that in practicing, there's a practice and performance mentality. I think this would be helpful for what we're talking about. Here, the practice mentality is saying “I’m going to hold myself to a higher standard with, intention.” I think I can achieve, intention, because of practice. It's okay to fail in practice because, there are no consequences; but I’m going to try to reach a level that I didn't even think I can reach”.

That's good training for, intentional living. When we come to a performance, if we maintain that mindset and we keep failing to reach that super high level we start beating ourselves up – like “Oh! You suck, you aren't good enough, you're never going to get there, and you’re never going to perform.

Thane – What we are speaking about is self-awareness. A lot of times, having a self-awareness to know what we need ourselves – means we need to understand ourselves. I think the three primary tools of self-awareness are journaling and reflecting which is just sitting with a pen and paper. Now looking back on a situation or a day or a moment or our lives and understanding it more clearly. That’s feedback, you're thinking about having a person in your life whether it be a coach, mentor, family member, a close friend or confidant who can help you see more objectively; because we are inherently subjective.

Then there is meditation, just being able to sit in the present moment and remove the distractions that cloud our vision and by using those three primary tools. We get way better at seeing ourselves clearly, so that we can steer ourselves better and live with, intention.

Myrna – Self-awareness and meditation, that's awesome.

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Intention in the Tension

What does it mean to live with, intention in the, tension?

Myrna – When I researched, intentions, what came up was Justin Bieber's song –intentions, he's talking about shower you with my, attention. These are my only, intentions. So, let's dive in and talk about these, intentions, in the, tension.

Thane – The, intention, is really the reason behind what we do. So, intentional living, is just infusing a why, a reason or purpose into our daily lives, our daily thoughts or daily actions. Again, it doesn't happen by chance. We don't default into this, we have to choose it and so a lot of it really revolves around purpose and identity. In the whole phrase, intention, in the, tension, my co-founder of the podcast; Adam Setzer came up with that term.

I think it's just a catchy phrase to show that in life we face, tensions, we all know this very well right now in the COVID 19 pandemic. There are people that are on the one side of the, tension, (always wear masks). And there are people saying, “no don't ever wear masks.” Everyone's at a different place, some are following President Trump saying this pandemic is nothing and it would go away and some people are so fearful, they stay home, because there's a lot of, tension.

So, those are just two myriads are the more permanent or pressing right now; but every single day we have, tension, that we face even from exercise.

Tension during the COVID 19 Pandemic

Try getting married during COVID, like I did. You have, tension, as a newly married couple during COVID 19. The point of, tensions, isn't to pick a side and then just rest on that side. A lot of times with, the power of intention, the best place to be is in the middle, in the gray, in the messy, tension. By choosing a side, we eliminate the, tension, but really that isn't the best place to be.

The best place is to be in the middle. When we're living in the, tension, we have to infuse, intention, and a purpose or reason. Why? So that we can be able to see both sides with some fairness, with some objectivity without camping out and saying okay I’ve already made my mind. I already know everything and I’ve already arrived. That is never true for any of us in life, so a lot of it revolves around recognizing that there are, tensions, and then understanding our purpose and our identity.

Myrna – There's a lot going on right now. Everybody is talking about how divorce rates has just shot up, because people are forced to be together with, tension. There's a lot of, tension, because there's no outlets; but I like what you said, I’m a Christian and I was just finished reading this really fabulous book, Think like a Monk by Jay Shetty and one of the things I learned from that book is that we don’t always get back the love from the people we give it to.

Jay Shetty shared a story when he was in this monk. He's complained to the senior monk that he was giving all this out this service and love and he was not getting anything back. Then, the senior monk told him that a lot of times when you give out love, you don't get it back from the same people but the universe always send it back.

So, we are giving out love to let's say a spouse or children or something and we're expecting it back; but love like Jesus said love your enemy as your friend. You should know that the foundation of the Bible is ALL LOVE. It's not necessary that you’re going to love somebody that loves you. If you love your enemy, then obviously they don't love you back.

So, if you have the, intention, that you're going to love unconditionally and maybe it's will boomerang back to you, even if it's not from this person; but you're going to get it back somehow. That actually makes it easier.

Hope and the Power of Intention

Myrna – What do you think helps us live full of hope and live with, intention, in 2020?

Thane – HOPE, as you earlier mentioned is I believe, readily available for anyone at any time. I think hope is the fuel that comes from just reframing our perspective on things. When your perspective is simply your view of a situation, an object or yourself and guess what that can be viewed from many different places, hope in 2020 as you rightly said is something that more and more people are feeling hopeless.

I think it starts just by reframing our perspective. My book “Catalyst for Hope”. It's really just talking about four catalysts or four simple perspectives that I’ve found to unlock a lot of hope in my life.

We can always do this and it’s very simple. The fact that we are all in process that has not finished yet, is not over. We get to keep going forward and we get to keep moving. We still have a choice and a chance to live, breathe and do work in this world. Be a part of the change we wish to see.

In conclusion

Myrna – Tell us about your online courses, you told me you have two of them. One is “Growing Self-awareness” and we have talked about that, which is great. Another word for Self-awareness is “Consciousness”.

I thought I heard something the other day about one of those books – Think like a Monk that he mentioned, that consciousness is the biggest way to live with, intention. I mean it's a word that everybody throws around and nobody knows what it is. However, self-awareness and consciousness is like hope. What I mean is, if you practice it and you live in it, then it's the biggest thing that you can do in your life.

The other book title is “Developing Discipline”. Of course, as a professional golfer discipline is big. Discipline is the most fundamental component of being a good leader. Meanwhile, being a good leader starts always with self leadership, you have to be able to lead yourself well before you can lead others.

Thane – I'm all about growing self leadership for myself and for others. These two courses, I believe are going to help with self-awareness and discipline being fundamental aspects. In the two courses, what people can expect is they're both eight-week courses and so it's self-directed meaning – if you want to go faster or slower, you can.

I recommend eight weeks and that's how it's set up because it gives us enough time to really put these things into practice. Then thereafter, start shifting our identity and the way we see ourselves with these things so we can start saying I'm not just pursuing discipline, I am a disciplined person and that's the shift that we want to make in those eight weeks.

Additional Resources

How to Transform your Career with Purpose

Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, positive change, purpose, transform your mind

Six Holistic Ways to Find your Purpose

December 1, 2020 Myrna Young

Are you on a quest to, find your purpose? It is the only way to find fulfillment and the secret to happiness. Dr. Ken Keis shares six holistic approaches or benchmarks in your quest for, purpose.

Intro to our topic:

Dr. Ken Keis, is a highly sought-after author, speaker, trainer, podcast host, and TV and media guest. His latest books include: Why Aren't You More Like Me?, Deliberate Leadership, and The Quest For Purpose.

A story on how to find your purpose

So many people listening have been trapped down a pathway that was really sort of conditioned from their background. I woke one morning and asked myself if this was what I wanted to be doing in 20 years from now, and the answer was no. So, I immediately took action. I decided to quit farming and hired a coach to help me figure out what I wanted to do in life. My, quest to, find my purpose, began. What was my purpose in life? The answer, to help others to live, lead and work on purpose. This is the question to, find your purpose.

My coach passed away from cancer many years ago now, and I just took his process and then added and enhanced it. Basically it was a self-discovery narrative and an interactive sort of process to, find your purpose.

What are the six Holistic approaches to, find your purpose?

A lot of times what happens people don't realize their, purpose, because the question is too big. It's overwhelming and what we're trying to do here is get people to fine tune all the components of their life to go to the next level.

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Benchmarks to Finding your Purpose

So let's go through these benchmarks to, find your purpose.

1. First Benchmark is, Personal Style, CRG is an assessment company. In our quest to, find your purpose, one of our assessments is called “the personal style indicator.” We believe that we are all born with a certain Personal style. Not right not wrong and we develop and we change and we mature in life but our personal style never changes. Myrna is the same Myrna from 10 years ago. In other words Myrna can wake up in the morning and still count on Myrna being Myrna.

2. Biophysical Influences, like Health concerns, physical and mental disabilities. The statistics of North American health is that 75 to 80 percent of people are unwell at some level and another 50 percent are diabetic or pre-diabetic. So there's no way if I am thinking of, finding my purpose, if I'm sick. I don't have energy, I have chronic fatigue syndrome, I have immunity disorder or whatever is going on. 90 to 95 percent of all illness is lifestyle related. In my quest to, find my purpose, I need to take my body and treat it well. If I have a racehorse and I don't take care of that racehorse and then try to have it win the Kentucky Derby, it’s not going to happen.

Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

3. Self-worth – What you think of yourself. We have another assessment called “the self-worth inventory” to, find your purpose, our confidence levels highly influence the decisions we make or not make. So maybe you actually have an idea of your, purpose, but you don't have the courage to step into it.

4. Environmental systems – Schools , workplace, culture. We are a product of our environment. If I grew up in Florida versus LA or New York, Toronto or Vancouver versus Afghanistan, I'm going to have a different perspective on life and possibly a different path to, find my purpose.

5. Social Teachers – Parents, teachers, pastors As a kid you you very curious. You watched how your parents interacted, they're teaching you how to treat others. The songs you listened to there's now linkage towards violence and video games. In your quest to, find your purpose, be aware of what you’re letting in, who you’re working with, who are nurturing your personal relationships.

6. Emotional Anchors or triggers – Divorce, physical and verbal abuse, death of a loved one are all triggers. Any kind of event in life that causes either positive or negative associations becomes a trigger. Every single person listening or reading has triggers. You had an event in life that creates an emotional response. This goes back to a trigger that has been anchored, in many cases these triggers are subconscious. In your quest to, find your purpose, you don't realize your, purpose, because you’re angry. You can also have unforgiveness. You have not really released yourself of this traumatic event. I had my girlfriend when I was 21 years old murdered by a friend of mine. If I didn’t let go of that event from 1982, it would affect me forever.

7. Spirituality, – This is a bonus because it covers everything. We are spiritual beings have a human experience. All of these seven benchmarks, come together to develop the whole person. They are essential in our quest to, find your purpose. That's why developing all these areas is critic to finding your, life purpose.

Transform your mind iTunes link

Because we are spiritual beings having a human experience, our thoughts are so powerful. What you believe is the environment in which you live. Dr Bruce Lipton talks about the fact and the fact that our perceptions affects our reality.

Spirituality, is also consciously spending time developing yourself. It is a fact that you create your world. Most of us believe that we are product of circumstances; but if you believe that you actually can design and create your world, that's what you will create. So yes, spirituality, the spiritual part of you is very important to, finding your purpose.

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Conclusion

Very powerful conversation with Dr. Ken Keis. Dr Keis is the author of “The Quest for Purpose” A self-discovery process to find it and live it!
To listen to the full episode, download on iTunes, Google play, Sticher, TuneIn radio, iHeart radio.

To quickly summarize, Dr. Keis gave us seven personality development models called benchmarks, that can help you in your quest to, find your purpose, we talked about personality style, we talked about wellness and stress and how it affects how you show up in life, we talked about, self-worth and self-confidence. How that affects what you go after. We talked about the, environmental systems, where you were born and what your parents expect you to become. We talked about, social teachers, the news and our, emotional triggers. If something bad happened to you a lot of times, people can't get over it. This event hijacks them and it controls most of their thinking.

We talked about, spirituality, which is all-encompassing because we are spiritual beings and what we believe, has one of the most predominant effects in your quest to, find your purpose.

Download a FREE eBook version of Dr Ken Keis book “The Quest for Purpose”

Remember to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, iHeart radio, and please leave a review if you find this podcast Helps you Live Your Best Lives Now!

Additional Resources:
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-awaken-to-your-souls-purpose/
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-can-millennials-find-their-purpose/
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-a-diamond-by-finding-your-purpose/
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-lifted-by-your-purpose/
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-quest-for-purpose_b_6575194
https://www.forbes.com/sites/danpontefract/2016/02/04/the-story-of-candice-and-her-quest-for-purpose-at-work/

happiness, How to be happy, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast

How to be Happy with Less

November 23, 2020 Myrna Young

What does it take to be happy? We live in a culture where, happiness, is largely based on external forces – like what we get and what we achieve. And when our life conditions don’t match our expectations, we experience pain and fear, we suffer. But imagine what it would feel like to create a constant sense of inner peace and freedom, and live each day in a beautiful state of, happiness.

Listen to the podcast here:

What’s preventing you from, happiness, and living a life of peace and joy?

Do you believe that others make you happy or are responsible for your, happiness? I used to think so. Until I realized that the definition of, happiness, is true. Happiness, is moving in the direction of your goals and dreams. So because my, happiness, comes from my thoughts and actions, I take away the responsibility of my spouse, friends, co-workers being responsible for my, happiness.

I encourage you to Discover what’s holding you back from being happy. Tap into finding inner peace through meditation and mindfulness that you can use to start living in the, present moment. Happiness, is only found in the present moment. Not in the future or the past. This is the time to sit with your feelings of, unhappiness, pain and regret and maybe find the lesson in them.

Once you sit with pain and, unhappiness, and not try to mask it with drugs, food or any of the things you do to not feel your pain, you can step into the unknown, and allow life to unfold in the beautiful way it is meant to.

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-find-happiness-in-2017/

How to be Happy in life, in the present moment

One of the ways I live in the, present moment, is I become aware of the little things that is taking away my, happiness. The small irritations like my husband not answering the phone when I call or my kids leaving the house and saying where they are going.

Learn, how to be happy in life, in the, present moment. No one is responsible for your, happiness. If you live in the present moment then the hurts from the past can't bother you. I remember when Jennifer Gardner was being interviewed about the betrayal of Ben Aflac. He had cheated on her and they were separated and there was a big scandal. Jennifer tried to stay in the, present moment, and be thankful for her 4 kids. She also said that Ben was not responsible for her, happiness. She alone is responsible for her, happiness.

Great lesson because when we give our power away, people will always trample on us. Life gives sand life takes away. The trick to, happiness, is not to be attached to the outcome.

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

How to be happy in life, by relaxing and releasing

When I feel the, unhappiness, or irritation coming on me, I practice R&R relax and release. When you feel that unwanted frustration you relax breathe deeply and release blow it out. Breathe deeply and blow it out through your mouth.

I learnt this in therapy. When a situation makes you, unhappy, and you don't attend to the hurt or pain. We stuff it down. We are not aware of what we are doing but we are hard wired to move away from pain and move towards pleasure, so when we feel pain or, unhappiness, we run from it.

So we self medicate with drugs, alcohol, food, sex, or whatever is around. In that way, we bury the pain. Whenever something is in the vicinity of this pain, we feel this tension in our gut because that is where we stored this pain. We begin to be, unhappy and we are not even sure why so we again stuff it down with drugs, alcohol, food and sex. We never want to feel.

To stop this cycle. Whenever you feel this feeling. Don't try to stuff down instead relax into it. Feel the pain, sit with it. Then breathe. Breathe to relax into it and then breathe it out. Try it next time some external situation makes you, unhappy.

5 Ways to Radiate on the Happiness Wheel

How to be Happy in life, with Less

In the, pursuit of happiness, material things such as money, a big house, fame, or fancy cars do not make us happy. Instead we need to first love and accept ourselves to be happy. Money or fame magnifies our, unhappiness, because now you are not sure who your friends are and you become obsessed about keeping this wealth.

How to be happy in life, with less is learning to find happiness in relationships, with family, with health, with being alive.

Daily habits to find, happiness

Smile. You tend to smile when you're happy. …
Exercise. Exercise isn't just for your body, it is for the mind. It releases endorphins for, happiness.
Get plenty of sleep, serotonin, the feel good hormone is released during sleep. That is why we are bitchy and, unhappy, with lack of sleep.
Eat with the, pursuit of happiness, in mind. …
Be grateful. Gratitude is the forerunner to, happiness. You can't be, unhappy, if you are feeling, gratitude
Give a compliment – giving a compliment makes other happy and that is turn makes you happy. Happiness, is serving others.
Breathe deeply. – breathing deeply releases tension in our muscles and relaxes the body.
Acknowledge the unhappy moments – don't try to stuff them down or ignore them. They are already here. Acknowledge them and let them know you see them and that this too shall pass. You will be able to look back at these moments and laugh one day.