Category Archives: Personal Development

Why Confidence Directly Impacts Your Success or Failure

Confidence, impacted the AFC Championship, Quarterback Russell Wilson had the, confidence, not to fold and give up and it resulted in success.

Let's say you are down by 16 points with 3 mins to go in the 4 quarter. You have played the worst game of your life. You have thrown 4 interceptions. Not only that, but the world is looking on and judging you. What do you do? Do you fold up like a flower without sunshine or do you have the, confidence, to play one drive at time? Do you dig deep and remember the last time you were down 16 to nothing and you came away with the victory? Quarterback Russell Wilson did just that on Sunday to win the AFC Championship game against the Green Bay Packers.

With 3 mins to go in the 4 quarter, Wilson was having his worst game to date; he had thrown 4 interceptions. The commentators were saying they had never seen Wilson play this bad. I started to route for them. I was routing for the underdogs, the Packers, because the Seahawks were the Super Bowl champions; but I hate to see a team embarrassed in front of millions. I have heard of quarterbacks who were tagged as not being able to win the big games. But this is where, confidence, separates the true champions. Confidence, and the spirit of never giving up. Even though Wilson had already thrown 4 interceptions to Kearse, he had, confidence, in him to give him another chance and he caught that winning touchdown and held on to that ball like his life depended on it. If you allow the facts like you just threw 4 interceptions, and you let negative thoughts snap your positive energy; you will loose. But like Wilson tearfully declared after pulling off a stunning overtime victory, he had the, confidence, in himself and in his team that they could win.

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How Confidence affects Sales Teams

I saw this same scenario play out on a, sales, team  that I was a part of. We were a team of about 40 outbound reps in a call center. The top, sales, persons on the team were selling about 40 units per day. Then a new girl was hired. She started banging out 40 units by noon!. Sales Management, thought she was cheating and started to check her sales to make sure she was not sandbagging leads. She calmly declared that she was not cheating; but that she had, confidence. She said when she picked up the phone, she had, confidence, that she was going to close the sale, and she usually did. I started paying attention to what she was doing, and I too started selling 40 units by lunchtime! My, confidence, grew.

Confidence, is usually the result of prior successes. As a sales manager, confidence, should be the first skill you coach to. If your, sales, team is not, confident, that they cannot win. You have to exhume past victories to give energy to present day activities. Why did Wilson feel that he could win?; because he won before. He knew that if there was time on the clock, his team had a chance.

Coaches need to build, confidence

“The road to athletic greatness is not marked by perfection, but the ability to constantly overcome adversity and failure.”

In, coaching, teams, you have a wide variety of players. You have your slow players, your fast players. You have the ones that are good at defense. You have the ones that are good at offense. You have the ones who would choose to drive and dish and you have the ones that would rather shoot the three. You have the people who set up the plays and you have the people who finish them. You are in charge of getting these types of players to work together and to build their, confidence.

Sure, a coach can put together a pretty set of plays. A, coach, can scream their head off in a game and try and get their players motivated. Coaching, can make you run for punishment, or they can make you run to get more in shape. The most important role of a coach, however, is to make the players on their team better with, confidence. To hopefully help them to reach their fullest potential. Players do make mistakes, but it is from those mistakes that you learn and grow.

Coaches sometimes destroy confidence by being too harsh. 

You wanted to win, and there was nothing wrong with that. I saw it in your eyes if I made a mistake, you were not too happy, which is normal for, coaching. Turnovers happen. Players miss shots.

Sometimes someone beats you in a race. Sometimes things happen. Players make mistakes. It is when you have players scared to move because of a lack of, confidence, that teams loose.

A player can be, confident,  in the way they play the game. Confident, but not cocky. It is up to the coach to build that, confidence, by highlighting the players strengths  and minimizing his weaknesses. That is what makes them improve overall, and become an asset who could become an  extremely great player and win Championships.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

What happens when a player looses confidence

The fight to get my, confidence, back was a tough one. It was something I wish I never would've had to do. Instead of becoming the best player that I could've been, I now had to fight to become the player that I used to be. My, coach, took away my freedom of playing a game that I loved. He  took away my good memories in a basketball uniform, which is something I can never get back. You can be the greatest athlete in the world, but without, confidence, you won't go very far.

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Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/confidence/

15 Benefits of Business Coaching to Increase Your Bottom Line

 

Business coaching, for start-up companies that are experiencing sluggish growth, helps these companies increase the bottom line, reduce attrition and create happier employees. As a, Business Coach, based in South Florida, my company MyHelps Inc launches new programs to help entrepreneurs achieve these goals.

Coaching, while this word comes from sports where the coach assists individuals as well as teams to increase performance and achieve new goals, is a process in which the coach asks the individual well-formulated questions and helps in finding answers.

The strongest aspect of, coaching, is that the individual is finding answers to his or her own questions. Simultaneously it is perceived as a managerial approach and style of management where the manager himself becomes the coach of employees.

Business Leaders have identified fifteen significant benefits of, Business coaching, as a growth and development tool.

Benefits of Business Coaching

1. Continuous one-on-one attention that facilitates growth
2. Expanded thinking through dialogue and powerful questioning from a coach.
3. Self-awareness – including bringing light to blind spots.
4. Personal accountability for development – A coach can hold you accountable for work you promised to do.
5. Just-in-time learning; e.g. preparing for a speech or meeting
6. Sustained interpersonal skills development.
7. Consistent, long-term development that gets embedded and becomes part of your routine.
8. Identify executive strengths and development needs
9. Leverage existing strengths and improve performance
10. Create a Leadership Strategy with an Action Plan and accountability to help Business owners stay on track
11. Adopt and/or reinforce the required leadership skills and competencies crucial to the company’s growth.
12. Positive and sustainable behavior changes
13. Develop leadership skills and practices; learn coaching skills they can implement.
14. Enhanced career planning and development with an action-oriented plan
15. Create and plan for greater work/life balance.

Starting your Coaching Business

The secret to a profitable, coaching business, is selecting the right clients. Don’t get into the “fixing” business or turning losers into winners; it’s exhausting. You know the people I’m talking about — they say they want something; but don’t take action to get there or aren’t willing to pay for it. Instead, focus on, coaching,  ambitious people who are already successful get to the next level. Your life will be easier and they will get great results because success is in their DNA.

To do this, you must be outstanding at what you do. Your services or insights must really work. So ask yourself: Am I the best in the world at what I do? To make a lot of money, you have to deliver a lot of value. 

Steps to Starting Your Business Coaching Business

Step One – Establish your Niche

Niching down help you attract the right kind of clients.  The more specific your , niche, the bigger your chances are for success.  I once heard of a, niche, for, business coaching, for people who used to suck their thumbs!

Step Two – Claim Your Business name.

Your business name is very important. Don't pick a name that people can't spell. We are no longer vying for directory listings so we don't need a name that at the top of the list like AAA, coaching business. Consider using your own name or a play on your name for a business name.

Step Three – Identify your business structure

  • Sole Proprietorship
  • Limited Liability LLC
  • Corporation
  • Partnership
  • S Corporation

Step Four – choose your preferred method of, business coaching

Business coaches, love to work with their clients face to face, but if you offer Skype or phone coaching you  could expand your market beyond local.  You could become an international, business coach.  Become comfortable with, coaching, via phone or zoom.

Step Five – Build your dream team for support

  • Have a coach or mentor for questions and business support
  • Have a tax accountant to help you plan your tax strategy
  • Have a lawyer to help you with contract issues

Bio Myrna Young Business Coach

Myrna Morris Young (@myrna_morris) is the president and owner of MyHelps Inc, a Florida based Coaching and Consulting firm that specializes in delivering leadership development programs for start-up companies and dynamic organizations.
Ms Young is a Certified Professional Coach from the University of Miami, Credentialed as an Associate Certified Coach by the International Coaching Federation,

Awarded Entrepreneur of the Year in 1998 and nominated for Business Woman of the Year in 2015. Her areas of expertise are Leadership development, social media marketing and personal growth. Myrna can be reached for your coaching requirements or as a motivational speaker for your next event at 888-569-3182 or on the web at “https://www.myhelps.us”

Additional Resources

“About Myrna Young Life Coach”

How to Set up Your Business Structure as an Entrepreneur

 

How to Get Started with Wholesaling

 

Wholesaling, is often marketed as a low-to-no cost way of getting into real estate investing and this can be true. A new, wholesaler, can certainly profit with a much lower initial cash outlay than a, real estate investor, who has to buy a property and rehab it.

In, wholesaling real estate, a real estate, wholesaler, contracts with a home seller, markets the home to his potential buyers, and assigns the contract to the buyer. The, wholesaler, makes a profit, which is the difference between the contracted price with the seller and the amount paid by the buyer.

What Exactly is Wholesaling Real Estate?

Wholesaling, is often marketed as a low-to-no cost way of getting into, real estate investing.  However, the successful, wholesaler, has to have a firm grasp of what makes for an attractive deal – once you understand this process of , wholesaling, it becomes much easier and can be broken down into a serious of repeatable steps.

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Are you looking to invest in the south Florida market? The time is ripe for investors. Call MyHelps Real Estate Investment Services Services LLC at 954-999-6125 for all your Sales, Rentals or Property Management services. We are licensed in real estate and property management and will buy or lease your property. Don’t delay, Call today 954-999-6125

How to Build Wealth with Turnkey Real Estate Investing

My co-host today on this podcast is Trevor Evans.
Trevor is a Professional Speaker, Real Estate Investor, Retail Store Owner.
Speaker/Trainer for Rich Dad Education and Founder of Personal Awakening brand “Being Normal Sucks.” Trevor has also been married for 19 years and have 2 beautiful daughters ages 22 and 18.

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Are you on a journey to find happiness through the doorway of wealth?
Living in financial abundance is one way to find happiness but not fulfillment.

You deserve happiness, and you CAN attain it.

The Transform Your Mind with Coach Myrna podcast has entered into collaboration with with Swami’s Brahmananda to offer my listeners guidance and the power of an entire community of happiness seekers, so you too can wake up happy.

For more information please clink the link below and start your Happiness journey

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Show Notes:

How to get started with real estate wholesaling

Investors ready to learn how to start, wholesaling houses, will be happy to know the process is not complicated. Here are a few simple steps to get started, real estate wholesaling:

  1. Research your local market before getting started.
  2. Find a realtor with off market discounted properties.
  3. Secure a financing source that works best for you. This is usually a Hard Money Lender.
  4. Begin searching for potential, wholesaling, properties by driving for dollars.
  5. Decide whether to sell the contract or assign the contract.
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TuneIn Radio

What is a step by step plan to becoming a Real Estate Wholesaler?

Step 1: Create a Database of buyers:

Contact local Rehabbers and Contractors and ask them what kind of properties they are looking for to rehab.
You can find them at your local Chamber of Commerce or your local REIA

Ask them these questions.
1. What kind of properties are they currently rehabbing?
2. Type of properties they like to work with Eg. Single family or multi family?
3. What are they certified to work on? Eg. Are they certified to work on burn down or water damaged properties?

Step 2: Put an AD on Craigslist
Ask the following questions when you get responses to your AD
1. Is the property listed with a Realtor?
2. Are you speaking with the owner of the property?
3. Is the property in, Foreclosure, probate, bank owned, or free and clear
4. Does the property need rehab? If so what is the estimated cost of repair.

Step 3: Put together your power team which includes your Title and Escrow Agent.
If you structure your deals properly, you could use one escrow deposit for 10 properties!

In our first episode you talk about process. You said that setting up a process prevents failure.
What is the process for the real estate Wholesaler?

Wholesaler Website: do you need one

My friends at Connected Investors wrote this article on Getting started with, real estate Wholesaling.

Wholesaling, is often touted as the easiest entry point into the world of, investing in real estate. And financially speaking the barriers to entry are generally a lot lower, especially when compared to fix and flipping or buy and hold investing. Many experienced, professional investors have door-knocked and bandit-signed their way up the REI ladder without having more than a cell phone, gas money, and the will to WIN. read more …

• If you found this blog post inspiring, please Subscribe, Rate and Review this Podcast, then send me an email to info@myhelps.us with the subject line “podcast review” and I send you a free gift.

Free eBook: Wholesale Plan of Action Cheat Sheet

This cheat sheet was created by Connected Investors and goes into further detail on the Wholesaling steps.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/is-starting-a-real-estate-investment-llc-a-good-idea/

How to Build Multiple Passive Income Streams

How to Shine Like a Diamond with Clarity and Value

 

Diamonds, are created far below the earth's surface from immense pressure and heat. Diamonds, are the most indestructible element.

How does finding your purpose compare to mining for, diamonds?

We come into this world from pressure. But we come into this world as coal in the rough says Marlene Bryan.  Similarly to the, diamond, we need, diamond cutters to shape us. Our, diamond cutters, are our parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, relationships,

They cut and shape us either to shine like a, Diamond, or stay as coal! Have you found your purpose?  My guest today on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast is Marlene M Bryan, inspirational speaker, author, business coach and President of Small Biz Evolution. Marlene is going to teach us

What is your purpose: Do you remember the day you asked:

  • “Why am I here?”
  • “Why was I born?”
  • “Why don’t I know my purpose?”
  • And the best of all: “Why me?”

It’s okay to ask the question why? Yet some people get hung up on the “why” and never move forward or take action to put what they have learned into action.

How to Shine Like a Diamond Rihanna

Shine like a diamond, shine like a star
Higher than the moon
and brighter than the sun
It's like a dream, it's so amazing
My heart is beating fast
I feel so fabulous
Take a chance and fly with me
It's a Fairy world
Close your eyes and you'll be there

Becoming a diamond by your thoughts

From the book “As a man Thinketh” by James Allen on the topic “Thoughts and Purpose”

Until thought is linked with purpose, there is no intelligent accomplishment.
Those who have no central purpose in life, fall an easy prey to petty worries, fears, troubles, and self-pitying; all which lead to failure, unhappiness, and loss.

For weakness cannot persist in a power-evolving universe.

A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart, and set out to accomplish it by shining like a, diamond.  He should make this purpose the centralizing point of his thoughts. He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings.

Purpose to Become a Diamond

Even if you fail again and again to accomplish your purpose (and you must until weakness is overcome), the strength of character gained will be the measure of your true success, and this will form a new starting point for future power and triumph.

Those who are not prepared for the apprehension of a great purpose, should fix their thoughts upon the faultless performance of their duty, no matter how insignificant their task may appear.

The weakest soul, knowing its own weakness, and believing this truth- that strength can only be developed by effort and practice- will, thus believing at once begin to exert itself adding effort to effort, patience to patience, strength to strength will at last grow divinely strong.

Only by searching and mining are, gold and diamonds, obtained, and man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mines of his soul!

Diamonds are created far below the earth's surface from immense pressure and heat.
Diamonds are the most indestructible element.
How does finding your purpose compare to, mining for diamonds?
We come into this world from pressure. But we come into this world as coal in the rough says Marlene Bryan.
Similarly to the, diamond, we need, diamond cutters, to shape us. Our diamond cutters are our parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, relationships,
They cut and shape us either to shine like a Diamond or stay as coal!

How do you find your purpose with the 4 C's

Your purpose can come from a place of pain or from something you love.
If you can't figure it out, get the help of your, diamond cutters!
Ask them what you do well or what your talents are.
Pain is an energy much like anger that moves us out of our comfort zone into our purpose.

What are the 4 C's of a, diamond, and how does becoming a Diamond Help us Find our Purpose?

  • CUT: The cut of the diamond determines its value. The diamond cutters in our life determine our brilliance.
  • COLOR: Color in a diamond is a flaw; but now the pink and yellow diamonds are more desirable than colorless diamonds.
    Similarly, what we consider flawed about ourselves could be our most valuable quality.
  • CLARITY: The transparency of the diamond also determines its value.
    We must also be transparent. You must know who you are and stay true to your values.
  • CARAT: The bigger the carat, the more the presumed value but a smaller diamond with all the above attributes could be more valuable.
    We should help other become greater or bigger by giving them a hand up.

Is your purpose to become a Life coach?

Then subscribe, rate and review this podcast and I will send you my FREE EBook

How to Become a Life Coach

To receive send me an email to info@myhelps.us with the subject line “Podcast review” and I will send to you.

Additional Resources 

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-awaken-to-your-souls-purpose/

Nothing is Impossible: How to Turn Life’s Challenges Into Opportunity

Nothing is impossible, If you believe. How to turn life's challenges into opportunities of self-discovery and personal success.

Todays' guest on the Mindset Transformation Radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, is Dr. Sheila D. Williams. Dr Williams is the author of “My Mother's Keeper

https://twitter.com/drsdwilliams

Nothing is impossible, always finish the race, don't be a quitter.

Come all the way through!
Don't stop in the middle, don't turn back!
Just finish the race.
Look at life like a long distance swim trip.

When you start out you have no idea what you are going to meet up with.
You can't predict the weather, the waves, or any other hazards and obstacles on your journey.
You have to make up in your mind, that you will Come all the way through, nothing is impossible.  That if you are able, you will finish the race.
If you get to the middle of the ocean and you run into a thunder storm for instance, you just can't stop.
Going back is just as perilous as going forward. You have to, believe in yourself. You must , believe.

That is exactly how life is, you can't predict the storms in life, you can't predict the challenges that you are going come up against.
You know that they will come. You have to decide up front to, believe in yourself.
You have to know for sure that, Nothing is Impossible, if you, believe.
God planted that goal or dream in you for a reason. You have something to give to mankind.

If you, believe, you will achieve!

You just have to keep moving forward, going back is death to your dreams, it should not be an option!

Show notes Nothing is Impossible 

Today's show discusses, mental illness, and how Dr. Williams cared for her mother as she suffered through clinical, depression.
Her purpose for writing this book is to shed light on this taboo topic and offer healing to her readers who may be going through something similar.
She decide to be very transparent on her mothers, clinical depression, and how she cared for her mother from the young age of 10.

Nothing is impossible, if you, believe. Listen to hear how Dr Sheila overcame her childhood story and succeed as a Mental Health Therapist/Counselor, a behavior Analyst, Published Author, Life Coach and Educational Director. She tells how she worked sometimes 4 jobs while caring for her terminally ill mother and still was able to earn her PH.D.

I know you've you have a really you know powerful story told in your first book My mother's Keeper.  What is the book about and what inspired you to write it.

Dr Sheila – My book is about my mother.  It is a very candid look into my life and me caring for my mother.  It took me about 40-plus years to be able to tell this story. I also tell my mother's story; it was a family secret. No one wanted to talk about my mother, mental illness and the fact that had, clinical depression.

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I felt for a very ashamed for a very long time in my life about my mother’s, mental illness, and depression so at the point when I decided to go ahead and be very candid and very transparent about my life it was for the purpose of healing. Not only for myself but for anyone else who have dealt with the stigma of, mental illness.

The stigma of  mental illness and clinical depression

I decided to write specifically about my mother and her, clinical depression, as a small child who had to care for her mom instead of the other way around.

People see the doctorate degree or the position that you hold with the company you work for, or you know they see your success in other things, but they don't realize behind the scenes, you had to tell yourself, nothing is impossible, to just get through the day.

You hear the phrase don't judge a book by its cover.  You see someone with the professional title and you see these accolades and all of the things that they've accomplished; but you have no idea of the struggle or the obstacles in which they've had to overcome to get to where they are.

So I wrote the book for numerous reasons:

  • To show that, nothing is impossible, if you, believe in yourself.
  • To show the effects on the family from, mental illness, and depression.
  • You can still accomplish whatever goal that you have in life regardless of your circumstances.

What was your motivation and how did you find the strength to push through?  Did you have a vision?

Dr Sheila – from a very young child maybe four or five six years old, I did not know that my mother had, clinical depression, I just knew she was a little bit different from other kids’ moms. My mother would not get out of bed for days on end. She would not open the blinds, just lay in bed in a dark room all day.

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Is it true that nothing is impossible?

Nothing is impossible,  This means that anything is possible. Dr Sheila did not have the nurture from her mom and dad.  When she became grown, she decided she wanted to become a doctor.  She worked 5 jobs to put herself through school because she did not want student loans.  Believe in the, impossible. However, just because something is possible does not mean that it is easy, or that it should be done at all. If you use this statement, you are probably referring to something which is very difficult to accomplish or labeled, impossible.

Connect with Coach Myrna on Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/MyhelpsInc/

Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/myhelps/

Twitter @ https://twitter.com/myrna_morris

web: www.myrnayounghelps.com

To download a copy of Coach Myrna's book “How to Mind your own business while working your day job”

Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job
Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job

https://myhelps.us/small-business-ebook/

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Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-mothers-abandonment/

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

 

Let the Universal Laws of Attraction Work For You

There is more to becoming a deliberate creator, than just letting the, universal laws, of attraction bring to you the desires of your heart. We all know it does not work like that. Some of you have been asking the, Universe, and praying to God for years, and you are still waiting to manifest your desires into your experience.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Matthew 7:7

This is a big topic. There is a lot written on, the Laws of Attraction. In my book “Out of the Snares” I embrace these, universal laws, fully. I also expected and allowed what I was attracting to show up. I lived consciously believing that ..

“there are no coincidences in life, that everything moment is as it should be.” ~~Deepak Chopra

I tell the story in my book “Out of the Snares” of me coming to the USA under the USA Free trade agreement, which allows Canadians and Mexicans to open up branch offices of current businesses in the USA; but when I got to the United States, I decided I wanted the benefits of being an American. I told myself “It would be nice if I found a husband.” As soon as I concentrated on that possibility the, Universal laws,  started offering up to me suitors for me to choose from!

Become a deliberate creator using the universal laws

There is more to becoming a deliberate creator, than just asking and receiving for everything you want. We all know it does not work like that. Some of you have been asking the, Universe, and praying to God for years, and you are still waiting to manifest your desires into your experience.

Here are 5 ways to help with being a deliberate creator and invoking the Universal laws.

1. Offer no resistance:
You have to offer no resistance to the, universal laws, you are letting go and letting God. In the above example. If and when the thought, came to me to find a husband and I had a bad experience with a prior husband and I told myself that most men are no good, then essentially what I am doing is saying on one hand I would like a husband and on the other hand, I don't want a man because they are nothing but trouble. That sends mixed messages to the, universal laws, of attraction.

2. You have to allow it to come in.
Look at your list of things you want to attract in your life as people outside the walls of one of the ancient cities. This is, the secret. They can't come in unless someone opens the gates of the city. In a similar way, you have to quiet your mind and stop confusing the, Universe, with all the stuff in your head. Find time every day to meditate and allow the, Universe, and its, universal laws, to work for you.

3. You have to believe in the 7 universal laws

Faith, is the evidence of things unseen. The bible teaches that if you have the, faith, of a mustard seed, you can say to the mountain get up and go into the sea. Faith is one way to let the, universal laws, work in your life. Logically and in the physical world that is not possible but Jesus was teaching us that “If you believe you can do anything.” That is truth. I have seen amputees climb to the top of Mount Everest, I have seen people swim across lakes, I have seen human beings defy incredible odds to survive and achieve. It all starts in the mind, if you think you can.

4. You have to be conscious of your emotions.
Your emotions are a powerful indicator of if you are moving towards or away from your desires. If you feel elated and happy, you are moving in the direction of your desires; if you feel dread and nervousness then that is your heart telling you that it knows something you don't. Learn to pay attention. The trick is to not spend time thinking about the things that make you feel bad because you will attract more of them.

5. Become a deliberate creator or Sorcerer.
Sorcerer means from the source. Becoming a Sorcerer means that you are letting source energy and the, universal laws, work for you. It means that you meditate on what you want, pray and ask God to help you get it and then you move out of the way and let him do his work. The focus here is on the word “meditate”. You have to get still and hear God. When you do, you will get inspiration and instruction on how to move that mountain out of the way. You will get instructions on how to turn your business around, how to motivate your children, new book ideas etc.

In my book “Out of the Snares” I share with you, my readers, the principles of the Bible and the Universal Laws or Truths that I stood on to win. Order your copy today.https://myhelps.us/book-order/

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/if-you-build-it-they-will-come/

http://blog.myhelps.us/law-of-harvest-are-you-eating-seed/

The Power and Purpose of Journalling

 

Journalling, can help women experiencing problems who are feeling stuck to form solutions by writing their down. My guest today is Margaret Elizabeth Hulse, a novelist who uses her fine art and jewelry designs to illustrate her, journalling, stories. Margaret writes stories with her body, mind, spirit that she says exist in the beauty of Texas, the Caribbean, and New Orleans.

Journalling, can be inspired to transcend from the monotony of day to day, obligatory tasks and into a life life filled with passion and purpose from the power and purpose of, journalling. She says “I write relatable, yet sensual, passionate stories that take my readers on new adventures and create custom jewelry so that the wearer has something unique to set her apart from the typical, ‘go-to’ designs. I evoke an excitement that people feel they haven’t been able to tap into for a while, whether it’s because they’ve been hurt, or have simply lost themselves as they’ve tried to make ends meet.”

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

How to Start Journaling

Margaret feels that through, journalling, she learned how to manifest her dream work through writing her way out of a trauma. Her first published journal simply titled, “Sketchbook,” is an illustrated short story that serves as a preamble to her novel, Sketches from the Heart of a Texas Artist. I write and speak often about the power of healing through creativity and how the more you write about something, the more likely it is to come to fruition.

On a personal note on, how to start journalling, I have always journaled to download and to write down my goals and dreams. The power and purpose for my, journalling, for me has been manifested in my life over and over.

There are 3 ways to attract anything into your life. First you think it in your mind, then you speak it into the atmosphere, then you write it down to give it form!

Journalling, can also help you out of a bad mood.
You Can Write Your Way Out of an Emotional Funk. Here’s How.

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A, journalling, story:

James Pennebaker, a distinguished professor at the University of Texas, got married right out of college in the early ‘70s. Three years after his marriage, he and his wife started to question their relationship, and Pennebaker, confused and unsettled, sank into a depression. He ate less, drank more, and started smoking. Embarrassed by what he saw as emotional weakness, he became more and more isolated.

One morning about a month into this decline, Pennebaker climbed out of bed and sat down at a typewriter. He stared at the machine for a moment, then started writing freely and frankly about his marriage, his parents, his sexuality, his career, and even death.

As he wrote, and continued to write in the days that followed, something fascinating happened. His depression lifted and he felt liberated. He began to reconnect with his deep love for his wife. But the writing had an even farther-reaching impact. For the first time, he started to see the purpose and possibilities in his life.

Pennebaker’s own experience with, journalling, helped him get through this rocky period sparked 40 years of research about the links between writing and emotional processing. Over and over again Pennebaker did studies in which he divided people into two groups and asked some to, journal,  about emotionally significant experiences, and the others to write about common things: their shoes, or maybe the cars passing on the street. Both groups wrote for the same span—about 20-minutes a day, three days in a row.

In each study, Pennebaker found that the people who wrote about emotionally charged episodes experienced marked improvement in their physical and mental well-being. They were happier, less depressed and less anxious. In the months after the, journalling,  sessions, they had lower blood pressure, improved immune function, and fewer visits to the doctor. They also reported better relationships, improved memory, and more success at work.

How to become a Life coach

Is your purpose in life to help others achieve fulfillment in theirs?

Then maybe becoming a Life Coach is the career for you.

Email me at info@myhelps.us for your FREE copy of my eBook “How to become a Life coach”

Additional Resources

How to Heal Your Brokenness

How to Overcome Fear and Find Joy

Fear, is an, energy, and thoughts are the most powerful, energy,  force in the universe.  Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of, negative thoughts, is, fear. It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
If you allow, fear, to linger in your body and in your mind, It will not only attract the thing you, fear, the most into your experience; but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to, negative thoughts, or, fear. Negative thoughts, transform your body into an acidic state.

Fear, is a, negative thought, magnified to the 1000th degree.

In, fear,  mode your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell!
Unfortunately, your brain cannot detect the difference between your imagination and reality, so the person in the grip of fear cannot tell the difference. They cannot tell that, fear, it is “False Evidence Appearing Real.”

Using Positive Energy to banish Fear

Today I want to teach you how to use, positive energy, to clear the, negative energy, of, fear. But first I want to review one of the Spiritual Laws of the Universe.

The Law of Sowing and Reaping

We all know of the physical laws like, Gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are Spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the spiritual “Law of Sowing and reaping” can change your world.
Understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world of your thoughts will manifest in the physical world.

Put another way, that means whatever you plant in the fertile soil of your mind, will manifest in your physical world.
Just like planting an apple tree. Except that in the spiritual world;

The soil is your mind, The seeds are your thoughts,
The water are your actions,
And The sun is your feelings.

If you allow, fear, to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.

Energy flows where Attention Goes

Whatever you focus on expands.

Fear is Negative Energy

Everything is, energy, and all, energy, attracts similar energies.
You can't put out, negative energy, and expect positive results.
You can't plant apple trees and expect oranges.

Likewise, you can't focus on what you, fear, and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you, fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal Law of Reaping and Sowing, it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.
These are six words you must stamp on your mind

“You become what you think about”

When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.

How to overcome fear

Exercise: How to overcome fear, write down something that is opposite of what you, fear, and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your, fear.
Since light conquers darkness, it will eventually have your, fear, for lunch!

  • Imagine you having fun traveling the world in crystal clear clarity.
  • Say daily affirmations that compliments your desire.
  • Visualize your goal so much that sometimes you are not sure what is imagined and what is reality;
  • the same way that you let fear take you out of reality.
  • Don't get disappointed if it takes time to perfect this. Remember that positive things take time to manifest,
  • it is the negative ones that show up quickly.

Weeds will sprout up, negative thoughts, of failure will sprout up.
So, every morning find the weeds and dig them up.

Remember a successful gardener will always cultivate his land.

Cultivate your mind for success.
Life is energy, whatever you put out, is returned to you.
The mind does not care what seeds you plant; it will always return what you plant.
You can plant wealth or you can plant poverty.
You can plant fear or you can plant happiness.

Here is an excerpt from the book: The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology:
The Buddha faced plenty of his own fear and terror of imminent death. This is a passage from the Buddha’s early writings that Jack Kornfield, a teacher who helped introduce Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West, quotes in his book.

How would it be if in the dark of the month, with no moon, I were to enter the most strange and frightening places, near tombs and in the thick of the forest, that I might come to understand fear and terror. And doing so, a wild animal would approach or the wind rustle the leaves and I would think, “Perhaps the fear and terror now comes.” And being resolved to dispel the hold of that fear and terror, I remained in whatever posture it arose, sitting or standing, walking or lying down. I did not change until I had faced that fear and terror in that very posture, until I was free of its hold upon me … And having this thought, I did so. By facing the, fear, and terror I became free.

Do not Fear: Definition of fear

Fear – False objects appearing real, as per the about passage, can be released by standing your ground. Our instinctive reaction to, fear, is to turn and run because as humans we are hard wired to run from pain and towards pleasure. But, as the Buddha teaches in the passage above if you stand and have the courage to not move, you become free you, let go of fear, and realize that your imagination is always worse than the reality.

Let me share a personal story on how I overcame, fear and, remove negative energy from home. 

When I first came to the United States of America, I came as a business owner. I did not have any of the benefits of a permanent resident. As my business was building, I decided to earn money as a sales person selling vacations. I was not authorized to work in the US, so I became very fearful of being found out and being deported. Every night I would dream that the immigration officials would come to my house and take me away in handcuffs. Sometimes I would dream that they would throw me in the back of the trunk.

One day, my pastor preached a sermon on, the fear factor. He said that God promises to carry your burdens, so give them to God. He said when you give your, fears, and heavy loads to God, you can't worry or take them back because that would mean that you don't have faith in God's promise to carry them. He asked the congregation to write our, fears, and heavy burdens on a piece of paper and ceremoniously throw them at the alter giving them to God. I wrote my, fear, of being deported on a piece of paper and threw in on the alter. In doing so, I, let go of fear, and became free because I gave it away to someone else, God. The good news is that I no longer was afraid of anything. Every time something came up that would potentially me fearful, I would face it and know that it will work out for my good. I stood on the scripture “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you.”

Meditation to Let go of Fear

Sit quietly in a chair, be comfortable.
Place feet flat on the floor, hands clasped in your lap. Close your eyes. Be present. Focus on your breathing, feel your belly rise and fall under your clasped hands.
Breathe in for a count of 4 and breathe out for account of 6. Thus, slowing down your rhythmic cycles. Be mindful of the air as it passes through your nostrils down your esophagus and into your abdomen. If your mind wanders off bring it back gently to your breathe. Your mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Concentrating on your breathe bypasses your mind. Once you slow your cycles and quiet your mind, you are now in the receptive mode to change your programming.

Think briefly about something you, fear. Today we will use as our example the, fear of flying. Today we are going to use our imagination to replicate the experience of flying while you are sitting comfortably and safely in your chair.

Let's begin. visualize you are at the airport with your loved ones, your husband and 2 children. You are on your way to Venice, Italy. You chose Venice because you wanted a romantic vacation with your husband. You can't wait to ride on the Gondolas and be serenaded with live music, going to the opera and have the experience of taking a water taxi everywhere. You are excited. This energy is positive. You let this feeling of euphoria wash over you, you feel your body tingle with this positive energy. You feel good!
Now you are boarding the plane, you are starting to feel a little anxious. You board the plane and find your seat, you buckle yourself in. The pilot announces that your flight time is 6 hours and that he will be flying at a cruising altitude of 35,000 feet. He advises you to give your attention the flight attendant and pay attention to the safety information. You mentally note your exits. You listen to what to do in the event of a water landing! Your mind is going nuts with fear. Your heart starts to palpitate rapidly, you start to sweat.

Now the airplane is taxing down the runway at full speed, then lifts off the ground.
You squeeze your husband's hand, you are hardly breathing, your whole body is tight. The plane is climbing it shakes a little. You are so scared the sweat starts dripping from your forehead. The plane reaches cruising altitude, the pilot turns off the fasten seat belt sign and people start moving about the plane. You calm down a little, but still aware of every movement of the plane. The flight attendants come around and offer beverages. You ask for a glass of wine. You drink it down in one gulp! You start to feel calmer. The flight is uneventful. After what seems like an eternity the pilot announces that in 30 minutes he will be starting his descent into Venice. Your fear returns, the plane shakes a little as it descends and you are once again in the grip of fear. The plane touches down and speeds down the runway braking speed. Your body is tight, your breathing shallow. Then it is all over. You faced your fear and came out on the other side! You exit the plane and you are in Venice!

I want you now to realize that you have taken your first flight in your mind.
I want you to realize that fear is false evidence appearing real.
I want you to realize that once you face your fear, like a bully, it backs down.
I want you to realize that the energy of fear is keeping you stuck.
I want you to realize that whatever your fear, just like we took a ride on an airplane and came out alive on the other side that is how all fear works. It has no real power over you. The only thing that is holding you back from doing the things you want to do is all in your mind. So, the only way the clear it is to start with the mind. Do a dress rehearsal in the mind and then do it in the physical.

The first step in How to overcome fear is to face the fear.

The second step is to clear it from the place it is planted in your mind. Take a moment now to ask your higher self where the fear of flying came from. When was the fear planted? When you get the answer, you may think to yourself, boy that was silly or you may have a legitimate reason to be afraid of flying. Someone you know could have died in a plane crash or you yourself could have been in a plane emergency landing. The thing to remember is that you know that every time you drive on the highway you could die and you are aware of thousands of people who have died in car accidents; yet few people have a fear of driving in a car.
So, consciousness is the second step.

The third step is to clear that energy by replacing it with, positive energy. We are going to use the, positive energy, of gratitude. Sit comfortably again. Imagine a bright light entering the crown of your head moving down through your check, down your throat to your chest, down your abdomen through your feet.
Feel this light fill all your energy centers as you become fully relaxed. Now expand this energy out from your chest past the room, past your city, past your country, past the clouds, past the sun, past the planet into the stratosphere. You are now floating in cyberspace. If you can bring your fear to mind in this space, do so now.

Then replace that feeling of fear with the feeling of gratitude. Gratitude that you are alive, gratitude that you are in your sound mind, gratitude that you have a place to sleep and food to eat. Gratitude that you are wealthier than 95% of the people in the world and you have the resources to travel to exotic destinations. Gratitude that you will not let fear rob you of your joy.
Now set the intention to fly to the first place on your bucket list within the year.

If you found this post helpful, I would love to hear your comments on what your fears are, and if you achieved a successful result transferring it with these exercises. Please share this podcast and blog post with friends and family and remember to subscribe and post a review.
Transform your Mind podcast is giving away a Free Checklist you can do every morning to replace your fears with positive affirmations.
To receive please subscribe, rate and review this podcast then send me an email to info@myhelps.us with the subject line iTunes review.
Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

7 Ways to Get Unstuck and Take Back Your Power

One of the worst, negative emotions, in my opinion, is the feeling of, being stuck; defined as moving forward or going back looks worse than staying in the misery of your current situation. How do you, get unstuck?

Our topic today is How to, Get Unstuck. This is a, life coaching, session with, coach Myrna

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Being stuck, is a place of no personal power

https://youtu.be/w4Qxq23FzPQ

What it feels like to be stuck

A few months back I received a note on LinkedIn from a young lady who said she was,  stuck. I felt her pain deep within my soul so I offered her a free, life coaching, to, get unstuck.

She was in an, abusive relationship. Her boyfriend was physically abusive to both her and her 2 year old daughter and she feared for her life. She had the courage to pack up and leave that situation. She lived in Florida and her only family lived in Atlanta, Georgia. In order to, get unstuck,  she quit her job, left her boyfriend and fled to her sister's home in Atlanta. Her sister was unemployed and had 6 children. She was dependent on her husband for support. This young lady felt uncomfortable living in her sister's home, because she didn't have anything for herself and now she had to feed her and her child. She called me because she felt she should go back to her, abusive relationship!

How many of you can feel her pain?
Being stuck, is  when the pain of staying in your current intolerable situation looks better than the pain of leaving.
It could be a domestic situation.
It could be an intolerable boss.
It could be a demeaning job.

How do you make the decision to, get unstuck?

How do you find the strength to want something better?

How did I coach this situation?

This is the major benefit of, life coaching, the ability of the, life coach, to see the frame.

You see you can't see the frame when you are the picture!

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Coaching to Get Unstuck

I knew that one of the reasons that my coachee was thinking of going back, was because she still loved her, abusive relationship. She was trying to get someone else to agree with her.
So I asked her “Do you still love this man?” And she said yes.
Then I allowed her to become aware of what her brain was doing. It was, stuck, in repeat.
I told her that because she still loved this man, she is using the situation of her sister's lack as the reason to return.
I asked her “Do you think your sister would want you to go back to that situation and maybe end up dead”? She said “no.”
I said think about it. What exactly are you taking from your sister? Space. Space doesn't cost them anything.
I asked her if she had any money?
She said “yes.” So I said, use that money to buy food for you and your daughter so you can feel better about being a charity case.
.
After we got past the, negative emotions, we were then able to plan for the future to , get unstuck.

You can't plan and have hope when you are busy wallowing in, negative energy, and self-pity of, being stuck.

I asked her about job prospects and she told me she had an interview scheduled for the next day.
That my friends is the First secret to, get unstuck.

1: Hope and Faith are important to getting unstuck 

Faith, that God can make a way out of no way.

Faith, that even though you can't see the entire stairway you know that the stairs are there.

The message of, faith, in this story is that you can't think that God intended for you to live in an, abusive relationship,  being dependent on an abusive man for your survival. You have to be able to get out of the valley, get unstuck, and see the light of the mountain top. You have to know in your heart that you were meant to be more. You have to want more for your children.

Once you find that, positive energy, things will begin to open up. Opportunities will come your way, God will open doors shut by the devil and your negative emotions.

My coachee got the job we are moving in the direction to, get unstuck.
She now lives in Atlanta and she is happy!
The devil is a liar, don't let him convince you that you are, stuck.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

2: Another way to get unstuck is to move the energy around.

The universe is made up of energy. We are a bundle of energy.
When you have, stuck, energy it causes disease.
So you have to force yourself to get off the couch, you have to do something, anything.
Do it until you feel like doing it. Do the things you don't feel like doing until you feel like doing it!

Another client of mine got fired from his job so he sat around all day with his hurt feelings.
Blaming his boss and all his friends who did not support him.

You have to get over disappointment and hurt so you can get on with it.
Don't let tragedy destroy you and keep you, stuck.
Don't stop, continue to stay busy.
Continue to work your plan take small steps if you can't take big steps
Automatic negative thoughts don't take any effort on your part they come naturally like weeds in your garden.
But if you want to grow roses or orchids in your garden it takes special effort and a process.

Similarly, being stuck,  on something someone did to you is natural.
Feeling angry when your kids are ungrateful for the sacrifices you made for them is natural.
Being fired after working at your job for 10 years, never taking time off for your kid’s soccer matches or dance recitals is natural.
Feeling vengeful at the betrayal of your spouse is natural.

It is natural to be angry, hurt, disappointed, vengeful; but it is important not to stay there.

It is important to, get unstuck, remove , negative emotions. You have to get over them and move on.

3: Seek the council of others when you feel Stuck

What my friend on LinkedIn did was good. She contacted a, life coach. She received council and got a fresh perspective.
Even if she not heed my advice, she still moved the energy by doing something.

One way to do this is to memorize and recite the, serenity prayer, several times per day

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

One of the first things they taught us in coaching school is that you can't coach someone that is not in front of you. Why was this important? Because most coachees will come into the coaching conversation complaining that their life is a mess because of the actions of someone else. The only person that you can change is yourself. You have no control over the behavior of anyone other than yourself.

4: Another way is to find peace with the situation if you can't or won't move right now.

I remember a sermon I heard from my first Pastor. He said whenever he felt like complaining about his wife he would pray and ask God to change him!

So for example if you are, stuck, in order to, get unstuck, you have to become aware of your thoughts. Change the way you look at the bad things he or she does. If he or she talks to you with disrespect. You can tell yourself it is not personal, that he or she speaks to everyone like that because he doesn't know any better.

If he only talks to you with disrespect you can tell yourself that he doesn't know you and let his words not penetrate your consciousness. He can talk but you do not hear or transfer the words. It becomes just noise.

This is a simple example but it works to, get unstuck. This is also called the Law of Allowing. It especially works in intimate relationships.
When you stop resisting and allow your partner the freedom to self-express, you open up the path towards healing the brokenness and allow the relationship to become healthy.

Concentrate only on what you are doing and saying. Stop reacting to stimuli and watch what happens.

5: Another technique is to notice when you are stuck and distract yourself

  • Come back to the problem later
  • Write out options and solutions
  • Write out the worrying situation
  • Write what you can do about it
  • Write what you cannot control about it.

6: Most importantly are your thoughts. Whether you are stuck or not, your thinking makes it so.

The thoughts that matter most are your self-thoughts.
It is never the situation that causes you to be, stuck, but your thoughts and feelings about the situation that makes you feel stuck.

Your thoughts influence your emotions, so to, get unstuck, think differently, and you will feel differently.

Sometimes, how you think someone should respond to you, blocks your blessings. If you move yourself and your ego out of the way.
Then maybe God can give you what he has in store for you.

Look at the bible story of Naaman. Naaman was angry because the profit did not come out and greet him and bow down to him when he came to him to heal his leprosy. Instead the profit Elisha sent a messenger out to tell Naaman to go wash himself in the river Jordon seven times and he will be restored. . Naaman went away angry because he felt disrespected. But he was smart enough to accept council from one of his servants. The servant told him he had nothing to loose by following the instructions of the profit. The servant was able to see the frame around the picture. Naaman could not. He could only see the situation that was making him mad. He decided to follow the profit’s instructions.
He went and dipped himself in the river Jordon seven times and he came out perfect and clean!.

Naaman almost missed his blessing by reacting to what he considered disrespect.

Some of you are, stuck, because of poisonous thinking.
Your thoughts can poison your spirit, and then you never see positive only negative.

As Neapolitan Hill said

As a man thinking so is he.

Shakespeare puts it another way

“Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”

7: You have to know yourself to grow yourself

You have to know where your pattern started.
You have to make the connection between your old story and your current circumstances

Eg. If your mother gave you up for adoption and your feeling of abandonment are keeping you stuck in Low self-esteem,
you should become aware that your past has nothing to do with your future.

You know better, that you are not your mom and she had her reasons.
The deeper truth is that you are responsible for your life and not what someone did to you.
You have to shift and take responsibility, you have to know that you keep getting into these situations because of your lack of self-esteem or because of your need for security.
Awareness is key. Once again, a coach can help if you can look at your patterns objectively.

What are you blaming?
What is your pattern? What is the evidence of your pattern?

I had a coaching client who had 3 failed marriages where the men stole from her.
We had to find her pattern and why she kept attracting and falling in love with the same type of man.

We discovered that she loved how her dad took care of her mom and paid all the bills, so she kept looking for that trait in a man.
She ended up getting the opposite.

Use your negative energy to get unstuck

Did you know that nothing exists without its opposite?
You can't know light without knowing darkness.
In order to know if something is good you first have to experience bad!

She had to learn to create a new pattern.
She had to go inside and use her feminine power of intuition to pick a mate.
She had to listen to her inner desire and not the outer desire for material pleasures.
When she did that she shifted her pattern and created a new one.
Now she is in the best relationship of her life.

She tells me that she has touched the moon and it feels so good!

To read about my personal journey of getting Unstuck, pick up a copy of my book
” Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
Adobe Photoshop PDF

Out of the Snares

Additional Resources

How to Heal Your Brokenness

How to be Happy with Less

 

 

How to Play to Win with the Cards you are Dealt in Life

We should, play to win. I wrote the book “Out of the Snares, a story of Hope and Encouragement” with the intention of drawing, life lessons, from various aspects of my Life and how I, played to win.  For example the first life event that I introduced in my book is as a victim of childhood, sexual abuse, and being born into, poverty.

The, life lesson, I share here is that of the, victim mentality.

You don't have to be a, victim, in life; instead become a player.

 

Just like in the game of blackjack, if the dealer is showing a picture card and you only have small cards, you don't chuck your hand in and say there's no way that I can win.
You must, play to win. All you need is the intention to win and guess what, your hand is going to get better.

Quitters Never Win and Winners Never Quit

 

Here is a short excerpt from my book:

Out of the Snares a story of hope and encouragement

Intro How to Play to Win – My story

I was born into a family with nothing, my mother and grandmother were both domestic servants. My dad was in Teachers College and did not know his real father. He lived with his mom and stepfather who was an alcoholic. In 1959 Guyana was a British colony of England.
Just like England colonized India and took all the wealth out of India, in a similar way England took all of Guyana’s resources out of the country.
Most of the Blacks and Indians were living in, poverty. My mom and grandmother worked for white English folk.

As a child I was always fed and had clothes and shoes to wear. My mom and grandmother both made our clothes.
So, it was understandable that I would be drawn to my godfather, who was a wealthy man with several houses, several cars and a corner shop filled with snacks and chocolate bars. Mr. Clark as I will call him took a liking to me beyond that of a Godfather and treated me like his grandchild.

I spent a lot of time at his house. He took me out with his family every weekend and really showered me with things.
He gave me food, gold chains and gold bracelets, he was also a goldsmith. I ended up sleeping over at his house several times per week and playing with his grandchildren. He used to like to bounce me on his knee with his legs massaging my private parts.

One day my memory recalls, I was about five years old, he braced me up against the wall and caressed my body. As I got older the, sexual abuse, became more intimate.
He would rub my legs whenever I was close. His favorite was the feeling me up in the front seat of his car while driving me to school.

His hand would be under my skirt fingering my private parts. I was sure that people in other cars could see this, sexual abuse, but he said they could not.
This, childhood sexual abuse,  continued for several years until one day he took me behind his shop and took my virginity with his fingers.

I didn't tell anyone I'm not sure why. I do remember thinking that I loved him so much and wanted to die before he did.

Mr. Clark started getting a reputation for liking little girls and my dad asked me one day if Mr. Clark ever, sexual abused, me, I lied and said he had not.

I'm going to skip a couple of paragraphs, I don't want to get into the nitty-gritty details here.
I'm going to read to you now my conclusion of this chapter.

Play to Win by collapsing your consciousness

How did I, play to win? Looking back, if I were to collapse my consciousness and become the observer in this experience, I would say that at some subconscious level I knew what we were doing was wrong. I knew that I was being, sexually abused.
I'm not sure why I chose to keep it a secret.

Research shows that children of, childhood sexual abuse, never tell, they become ashamed and feel that they are to blame. I know I have always felt shamed. It took me a very, very, long time to share my story. Writing this book was my way of coming into the light and putting the devil on notice that I will no longer let guilt and shame be a part of my life.

That was my introduction to my book.
Pick up a copy to read the full story.

Playing to Win Using CANI

I have, played to win,  the, sexual abuse, card and, poverty, by concentrating on, CANI. Constant and Never Ending Improvement.
They say that the secret to happiness is always moving towards a goal and that is how I, play to win.

It is wonderful that we're meeting today in a library because I have always been a reader.
Reading books is how you, play to win!

Tony Robbins is now a billionaire because he made himself read 700 books per year and those books taught him everything he knows.
Pat Riley of the Miami Heat said

“If you're not growing, you are dying”

Play to win using vibrational frequency

The second way I have, played to win, with the cards I have been dealt was to become conscious of my vibrational frequency.
I learned that later in life before I wrote my first book
“Becoming Conscious, my awakening”

I started understanding my vibrations. You see whenever somebody does something to us, we feel bad and what happens when we feel bad?
We attract more of the same. We always say bad things comes in three’s, that is because you are attracting them to you.
So when you're in a funk you have to find some way to make yourself feel better, and one of the ways I do that is to always live in gratitude.
Because regardless of what's going on in your life, there's always something that you can be grateful for. Breath, sight, food in your fridge, etc.
So, find some gratitude and feel that energy release a positive force that reverses all the bad in your life!

Survivors of, sexual abuse, don't owe anyone our stories. Here's why I'm telling mine, MeToo
Click this link to hear a similar story
https://www.latimes.com/opinion/opinion-la/la-oe-warnke-metoo-sexual-violence-20171016-story.html

Genese Vertus Playing to Win 

In 2009 at the age of 33 Genese became CEO and founder of Passion Rescue Mission and reopened the Genecoit Vertus School of Excellence in Francois, Haiti providing tuition free education and serving over 225 students.

Genese How Have you played with the cards you were dealt in Life?
Winning has to less with the cards you have in your hand and more to do with how you play the game.

You have to, play to win.

How did I, play to win? I was born in one of the poorest countries in the Western Hemisphere, which is Haiti.

The goal is to win no matter what seven piece of dominoes or cards you have in your hand.

Kenny Rogers sings a song that says

“You have to know when to Hold and when to Fold”

Three simple things helped me play with my cards.
1. My faith in God
2. Pursuit of an education
3. A strong support system

I was fortunate enough to come to this great country to get an education and in 2009 I returned back to Haiti and reopened a school that my father built. We started with 189
students at that time currently we have 225 students getting a tuition-free education in one of the poorest, mountainous, villages in Haiti, which is Francois Haiti. We provide meals, we provide school supplies we provide uniforms and we have 12 teachers that are employed.

I have a waiting list of over 300 students wanting to get into that school right now; so it's not enough To, play to win, we must give back. Once you get to where you need to be, you need to
reach back and help your people.
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Please visit www.passionrescuemission.org </a

Jenny Wang Playing to Win 

Jenny is passionate about helping people improve Performance through holistic learning. She is a Professional Certified Coach and a Senior Learning and Program Manager at Nutranext, which is the healthiest employer in the US. Jenny is also a Certified Health Coach and co-author of Bringing Mindfulness to Your Workplace. Jenny and I worked together at Office Depot. She was my mentor at Toastmasters, then she became my Coachee as she worked on finding her purpose. I'm Sure she has found her purpose.

Jenny – I have had some good cards. But there are some cards we cannot choose. We cannot chose our Father we cannot choose our Mother or our relatives.
I was born and raised in China in a very traditional family. I don't have trauma in my life, my parents are very lovely and educated; but there's one thing that we never agreed on. When I got married I never thought I wanted children.

I don't know how many of you are natural parents; but I was not one of them. When I was at 34 years old my father called me from China had a big argument with me. He wanted to have a grandchild. So, How did I, play to win? I chose to honor my father’s request because family is important to me.

Now eight years later, people ask me what was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life? And I say “To have a child” My son has brought me so much joy, so much wonderful
things to my life that I have never ever thought that I would have.

The second card everyone has, but they also cannot chose is
Passion and purpose.

The 3rd card we are dealt is  Health. The most important thing for everybody is good health. I decided to take the journey of being a, Yoga Instructor, and a Health Coach.

I learned we can become happy by changing how we move our bodies. Yoga, encourages us to think about our health.
No matter how busy you are, no matter how much outside achievement you have, by the end of the day you have to take time for yourself.

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Additional Resources

 

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-win-at-the-game-of-life/