Understanding How to Use Reiki Energy for Mind and Body

Reiki massage

Using the, energy healing, power of, Reiki,  allows you to cause an effect in your life instead of reacting to cause and effect!

Listen to the full interview here:

 

I was listening to a podcast episode with Dr Joe Dispenza  a few weeks back and he was talking about his events where people heal themselves from incurable diseases by changing their energy and accessing the, healing energy, of the quantum field.

He shared a story of a woman who had a stroke two years ago which according to the medical journals is one year and 10 months past the time for damaged brain cells to regenerate. This woman healed her brain and body through meditation. She tapped into, quantum energy,  and healed her body.

Dr Dispenza says this is the Time in history when it is not enough to know, it is a time in history to know how.

How to Use the, Healing Energy, of, Reiki

  • Information stimulates thought, and fosters new connections in our brain.
  • Said another way, Information creates awareness and awareness is consciousness.
  • You can't have consciousness without energy.
  • Nobody changes anything until they change their energy.

In this episode of the, Transform your Mind, to Transform your Life radio and podcast, Life Coach,  Myrna Young and Social Worker and Mental Health Counselor, Arifah Yusuf, want to expand your consciousness on changing your energy to Change your life using, Reiki, energy and just changing your thoughts.

Instead of living by cause and effect, we want to teach you how to Cause an Effect!

Here is a story on how one woman used, Reiki,  energy healing, to Transform her mind and body .

In 1985 Tori’s life started falling apart. Her baby was only 4 months old, in hospital suffering with lung problems, her  husband was fighting for our country and the icing on the cake she was involved in a serious car accident with her oldest son who was 4 years old and in the car with her at the time of the accident. He suffered serious head injuries and she was in a coma for 72 hours.

  • When she came out of the coma, she felt this overwhelming guilt that she could not be there with her child to comfort him in the hospital.
  • She says everything she believed in, came to a sudden end. Hope was lost. She endured months and months of rehabilitation for not only her oldest son but for herself as well.  Her 6 month old baby took was still suffering with lung problems so all these events took it's toll on her family.
  • One afternoon while paging through a magazine her eye fell on a story about, Reiki. Up until this time, she had never heard of alternative or, energy healing, and found the article most interesting and informative.
  • Both her children as well as herself were in great need of, energy healing.
  • She did some research and enrolled in, Reiki,  1 and then  followed that with, Reiki,  level 2.
  • She says, Reiki,  has been an absolute life saver for her and her children. With the support of, Reiki,  and , energy healing, on all levels – body, mind and spirit she is grateful for the complete recovery of both herself and her sons.

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Reiki, Energy Healing session from, Reiki Therapist

During this, energy healing,  session my, Reiki Therapist,  first cleaned the energy out of the room, then she funneled my, energy healing, up through my head.  My head got so hot it was dripping with sweat.  The sweat was not just on my face but under my hair.

Typically  the person receiving,  Reiki, energy healing,  will lie down on a massage table, fully clothed. The, Reiki  Therapist,  would then either place hands on the client or place their hands slightly above the client’s body, but still within their energy field. Client’s often express that they feel warm, tingling sensations during a session.

When I came out of that session, I felt so good and I had clarity in my life.

  • The, Reiki, stories I just shared require advanced knowledge. I wanted to share to illustrate what is possible. But I want to share with you today how you too can transform your life by transforming your, Reiki energy, by just changing your thoughts.
  • You may be waiting your whole entire life to get the good breaks, to get the love of your life, the career you dream about, the home you dream about and you tell yourself that when I get these things I will be happy.
  • Unfortunately, thoughts of lack create more lack.
  • The trick is to begin to condition your, energy healing, and feel like you already have all those things. This is hard to do and takes a lot of visualization exercise. And if you are auditory like me almost a hat trick! But this is the secret to getting all you desire.
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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

How to Clear your Energy Space

Arifah, from the mental health space do you help your clients to condition their minds and improve their, Reiki energy, body? How do you get someone who is feeling angry, depressed, insignificant to get to joy and gratitude?

I created a wellness daily action plan that I share with clients to help them condition their minds and improve their energy. It includes, journaling food and water intake, as well writing down priorities, 3 things they are grateful for and quotes or music that make them feel motivated to get active. We also focus on things that have brought joy in the past, such as achievements/moments of gratitude.

During my sessions with clients I also teach a few different breathing exercises for the optimization of mind-body, energy healing,  and mindfulness exercises to help clear the mind and focus on the present. I also ask them to reflect and write down what they admire or love about themselves and a proud moment, it’s a great way to bring focus back to milestones and connect to what has worked in the past and what they need to do in the present to boost their, Reiki energy, and find their purpose.

Most the times, my clients are impacted by overthinking and challenges in their own lives, I try to remind them that we all go through this, but in those moments you have to focus on what you are willing to let go and what you want to change, making this decision alone will help increase your, Reiki  energy,  as you may feel a weight lifted, and a sense of freedom and new direction.

For example, recently my friend was told that her timing was coming and she needed to start preparing to leave this world.  She prepared her mind mentally using, Reiki, methods and began to get her affairs in order and say her farewells.  She planned her memorial to celebrate the life she lived, and thank everyone for being a part of her journey.  She also thanked her lungs, heart and other organs for helping her live until she was almost 40.

In her farewell letter, she mentioned to seize every opportunity, live life to the fullest, forgive, take risks if your heart is in it  and have gratitude.  I feel blessed to be reminded every time that we need to focus our, Reiki energy, to build ourselves up and others, if something is bringing you down, find a solution or let go.

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Meditating using, Reiki Energy

  • Getting outside can have an effect on mood and because you are exposed to the boundless, Reiki energy, that exist in nature. Feeling the sun on your face is just one way to draw in some of the vital, Reiki, energy that comes from your environment, as well bonding socially with people that are positive
  • I do a powerful meditation that helps me condition my, energy healing. It is not, Reiki, but it gives me clarity.
  • Remember You can't attract anything good if you don't feel good.
  • We have to Stop telling the story of our past and start telling the story of our future.  As humans we were given the gift of imagination and the beauty of imagination is that our creator added a bonus. He hard wired our brain to not be able to tell the difference between imagination and the real thing. So day dream copiously!

Cause an effect in your life instead of reacting to cause and effect!

  • Your thoughts produce an electrical charge and feelings produce a magnetic charge.
  • How you think and how you feel broadcasts, quantum energy, fields that influences every atom in your life.
  • Thoughts send the signal out and feelings draw it back.
  • So when you imagine you already have your dream house, your dream man, living in abundance you think and feel good, that engages the law of attraction and draws these things to you.
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  • Visualization of your story Past, Present, Future: Accessing, Reiki Energy

  • Tell the story of how You want your life to be and repeat it until you become it and your subconscious mind picks it up and manifests it.

 

  • Visualization exercise: 5 Ways to use Change your Life by Changing your Thoughts 

You are relaxing at the beach and notice two chairs in a distance. You decide to walk over to the chairs and investigate. As you get closer the person sitting in the chair begin to look familiar. You recognize your future self 5 years from now.

  • You have realizing all your goals and living a perfect life.
  • One chair is empty so you sit in this chair opposite and begin to interview your future self.
  • Question 1:
  • How did you overcome a challenge you face today?
  • What action steps did you take?
  • Question 2:
  • What beliefs did you let go of to have this perfect life?
  • Question 3:
  • What makes you feel proud?
  • Question 4:
  • What new habits did you acquire?
  • Question 5:
  • What part of your story excites you?
  • Arifah how does the mental health counselor teach visualization?

Most of the time, when I am working with clients I will play a visualization recording or read one out loud for clients to focus on.  For example, I love the exercise 54321 that focuses on connecting back to the present using your 4 senses.  I also, have an exercise I call memory play back, where I have clients visualize a time and place in their life they remember feeling joy, and have them share details about that day out loud while their eyes are closed.

There are many visualization and guided imagery exercises that are in self help books and credible sites online, that people can use to practice when feeling overwhelmed.   I always tell clients to ensure they practice visualization in a safe space, where they feel comfortable and can focus.

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 Additional Resources for, Reiki, and  Energy Healing 

Tantric Sex: How to Use Tantra Energy during Sex

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKLeHugx814

How to Dream Big in the Quantum Matrix

https://www.gaia.com/article/5-methods-for-energy-healing

What is Reiki

http://blog.myhelps.us/sex-and-spiritual-energy-the-tree-of-life/

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

Life Coaching part 1: Who am I

In order to make permanent changes in your life, the first question you must ask is, who am I?  This question allows you to understand yourself and why you came into this body.

As a, Life coach, I want to share with you a , life coaching session, Life Coaching Part 1: Who am I,  from my 6-week Life coaching workshop.

We can never become who we were meant to be unless we can first recognize who we are by asking the question, who am I.

To know thyself is to grow thyself

So let’s dive right in.

First a little about, who I am.

I am a certified, Life coach, specializing in Mindset and consciousness. In 2012 I wrote my first book “Becoming conscious, my awakening” because I started to understand, who I am. In this episode I will take you through the process of discovering Who you are, be asking the question, who am I.

If you like this content please share with your friends and remember to rate, review and subscribe to the podcast. Thank you

Life coach Myrna Young, who am I
Life coach Myrna Young, who am I

Who am I, What are my deepest and truest values?

Your deepest values are the ones no one can move you off of. Your deepest values are the ones that if not met, hurt the most. Your truest values are the ones that make you cry.

Your deepest value could be that you would never hit your child. You were abused as a child and you vowed never to hit your child; but you get married and your spouse believes in spanking. He or she believes the bible that says spare the rod and spoil the child. So, your spouse spanks your child. It hurts you so much that you are forced to file for a divorce. Irreconcilable Differences!

Another example to find out, who am I, could be that you were brought up that nice girls do not have sex before marriage. It is a deal breaker in all your relationships. Your dates either leave you or they cheat on you; but you can't bring yourself to have premarital sex. It is one of your deepest and truest values. As a result, you are single and unmarried at 40 years old.

Your deepest values are found by asking the question, who am I. It could be about how you feel about charity. I never pass someone on the street begging. I feel it is a blessing to have a dollar to give. My husband on the other hand, feels that everybody can find a job, and only the worthless people stand at the corner and beg. That is his deepest value and this is mine.

Your deepest value could take the form of image and by asking, who am I. You may be willing to endure a passionless marriage if it gives you status in your community. There are lots of big houses with white picket fences that house very unhappy families.

One of my deepest values was on domestic abuse. My ex-husband slapped me and I divorced him. Simple as that! My value took the form that I would never become a battered woman. I didn't have to ask the question, who am I.  I knew that if he hit me once he would hit me again. My daughter was 5 years old at the time. Most women would have a value in giving their children a family with a mom and dad. But mine was more self-centered. Nobody should judge your deepest values. They are yours. You must know them and accept them. They make you who you are. A unique being!

Who am I, do I believe in One True Love?

Your truest value could be found by also asking, who am I. How do you love and receive love?
Do you believe that you could only love one person and there is only one true love for you? What happens if you get a divorce or your spouse dies? Does that mean that love is over for you?
How do you receive love?

I heard a story once about a woman who would ask her husband every day if he loved her. He would say of course I love you honey. Yet she did not believe him and would ask him again the next day. She felt love by how much attention she received from her husband. As her insecurities grew she required more and more attention. The marriage ended in divorce.

Your deepest value could be on why you feel you are on this earth, in this body. Do you take the time to consider your purpose and your legacy?

Who am I, What are my preferences and priorities?

Who am I, What kind of house would I like to live in.
What country would I like to live in if I had a choice. Do I prefer beach front, mountain view or lots of trees and greenery? Visualize yourself sitting on the porch of this house.

Who am I, how do I like my men? Do I like them tall, dark and handsome? or am I looking for the spiritual connection and don't care what form the package takes?

What kinds of music do I like? What kinds of music transports me to a good place?

What are my preferences during sex? Do I like it with the lights on or off?

What forms of entertainment do I prefer? Do I like the movies, going dancing or staying at home with a good book?

If I didn't have to work, what would I do?

Who are my priorities in Life? Do my children come first, my spouse or God?
Do I make healthy eating and exercise a priority or do I never have time to get to it?

Who am I, What genuinely makes me happy?

I love walking in the park and listening to podcasts and books about successful people in life.

I love listening to the rain and the sounds of the ocean.

Ask yourself , who am I, and put your list of preferences on paper.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Who am I, What are my subconscious patterns and ways of reacting?

How do I react when I feel rejected?

  • Do I seek revenge?
  • Do I get even or do I eat a pint of ice-cream?
    How do I look at the world?
  • Do I see abundance or do I see scarcity?
  • Do you feel jealous when your friends get a promotion or find love?
  • Are you glad for them or do you secretly hope they fail? No judgment just understanding.

 

Who am I, If you are happy for your friends, you are attracting abundance into your life. If you are jealous, you are saying that there is not enough to go around and you feel they have taken your share. So, you have a spirit of lack and that will not bring you abundance.

Who am I, What are your triggers?

Ask yourself? When do I pick up the phone and call my old lovers?
Is my trigger when I can’t get my lover on the phone and I think he or she is cheating on me?

I am one of those people who don't bear malice. That means that I get angry for a few days and then I forgive. Unless it is the third time. I have a 3-strike rule!

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Who am I, What do you Fear

As a Life coach, I ask my clients, what do they fear?  

This is an important workshop. Fears are bottom feeders. Fears keep you at the tail and not the head of the table. If you have fears, you must face them and replace them.
Fear can also keep you bound in a bad or abusive relationship.

Here are some common fears:

  • Do you fear getting old?
  • Do you fear being alone?
  • Do you fear being homeless?
  • Do you fear getting fat?
  • Do you fear your spouse would leave you?
  • Do you fear losing your job?
  • Do you fear death?

Fear is an energy. Thoughts are the most powerful energy force in the universe.
Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of negative thoughts is fear.
It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
When you live in fear, you feel bad all the time.
If you allow fear to linger in your body and in your mind. It will not only attract the thing you fear the most into your experience; but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to negative thoughts and emotions.
Negative thoughts transform your body into an acidic state.
In fear mode your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell.

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-overcome-fear-and-find-joy-part-1-the-energy-of-fear/

Today I want to teach you how to use positive energy to clear the negative energies of fear. But first I want to touch on one of the spiritual laws of the universe. i.e The Law of Sowing and Reaping.
We all know of the physical laws like gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the Law of Sowing and Reaping can change your world.
Understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world will manifest in the physical world.
Put another way means that whatever you plant in your mind you will manifest in your physical world.

Just like planting an apple tree.
In the spiritual world,
The soil is your mind.
The seeds are your thoughts.
The water are your actions.
And the sun is your feelings.

If you allow fear to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.

Energy flows where attention goes.

Whatever you focus on expands.
Everything is energy and all energy attracts similar energy.
You can't put out negative energy and expect positive results.
You can't plant apple trees and expect oranges.
Likewise, you can't focus on what you fear and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal law of reaping and sowing it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.

These are six words you must stamp on your mind.

“You become what you think about”

When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.
So, write down something that is opposite of what you fear and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your fear.
Since light conquers darkness it will eventually have your fear for lunch!

This means whatever you fear you will attract. So, if you fear being alone that is what you will be, alone. If you fear your spouse will leave you, be prepared for that reality. It is very very important to replace your fears with your desires.

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Conclusion Life coaching session, Who am I

As we wrap up this episode, let’s recap
Ask yourself these questions:
Who am I?
What are my deepest values. What do I care about the most?
What are my preferences and priorities?
Who and what is important to me?
What makes me happy. What images make me cry?
How do I react to things or people who hurt me?
What do I fear the most?

As a certified Mindset Coach, I have designed a 6 Part Coaching program that starts off by bringing clarity to Who You Are because that is how you show up in your personal interactions.

Additional Resources 

Ask Coach Myrna: How to Start Over?

 

How to Find your Soul Mate or Twin Flame

Are you a single woman hoping to, find your soul mate?  What about your, twin flame, who is your mirror, soul. Science says that when you meet your  Life partner, some thing magical happens. In this blog we look at what happens when two, souls, with constructive energies meet?

Listen to the full interview here:

In our last episode my co-host and I looked at what, single women, need to do to get their house ready for love, where to look for love and what to look for when you are starting over after divorce or death of a partner.

If you missed that episode you can download it here: http://blog.myhelps.us/how-single-women-find-love/ or on iTunes ,iHeart radio or wherever you get your podcasts. 

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iHeart Radio

Today's episode of the Transform your Mind Radio Hour is sponsored by  Columbus Financial Coach.  Are you in a deep hole of “Financial Depression” with nowhere to turn for help? Constantly being harassed by collection agencies? Then visit Columbus Financial and success coach. www.columbusfinancialcoach.com

Introduction

 How to, Find your Soul mate,  the Science of Attraction

In the last Blog post, I shared how I met my husband on a train. I am going to use this personal story to illustrate what happens when two strangers or, souls, meet for the first time.

As you may remember from Chemistry class, every atom and molecule gives out and absorbs light. The human body is made up of 50 trillion cells composed of atoms and molecules. So we are massive bundles of energy giving off and absorbing light or energy all the time.

When two energies come together they become entangled, the first step to, find your soul mate, is constructive energy.

When two energies are in harmony, the result is called, constructive energy, because it increases in size.  That is why you should grow as a person when you are in the right relationship.

We call this, “good vibes” very important when you are hoping to, find your soul mate. 

How Chemistry plays in finding your Soul Mate

So let's look at what happened when I met my husband and our energies became constructive!

I walked onto a train and he was standing by the door. I looked fine, mini skirt, sunglasses, designer bag over my shoulder,  so I caught his attention. He caught my attention because he was the first black officer I had seen on the train.

On be known to me my second Chakra or energy center in charge of communication sent him a signal because he tells me he felt this warm feeling in his body. He had never felt that before. Let me put a pin here and explain.

Our bodies are made up of seven energy centers, called Chakras. Each of these energy centers are responsible for certain functions.  I know that my second Chakra located below my navel is my communication center and it is responsible for engaging a mate by sending out signals when it finds a compatible energy so you can, find your soul mate.

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Soul mate vs Twin flame

My husband could also be my, twin flame.  After 14 years of marriage, I do believe we are mirror souls. What Is A Twin Flame? Sometimes discussed in terms of a “mirror soul” or, soul connection, a, twin flame, is the other half of your, soul. It is theorized that a, soul, can split into two after ascending to a high frequency. Thereafter, the, soul, lands in two different bodies.

I must have also received something from my husband's energy center as well because my thoughts lingered on him. I was curious. That was all that it was for me at that time. Curiosity. I was not actively looking to, find a  soul mate.

But I have heard men say that the first time they saw their wife they knew that she was the one. There is such  a thing as love at first sight! Have you heard Steve Harvey tell his story of when he met his wife and, how he found his, soul mate?.  I don't think he was actively trying to, find your soul mate. But there she was. He was doing stand up comedy and she walked in late with her girlfriends, and he couldn’t stop staring at her.  In fact he couldn’t even continue his act.  He told her right then that she was going to be his wife! Believe in compatible energy, it is real.

Anyway, back to my story. Because our energies entangled and we both got, good vibes, we looked to further the communication.

The, Soul mate Connection, is Immediate

Another pin. That is why we shouldn't chase men.  if you guys have, constructive energy, or, good vibes, they will reach out. We are hard wired to mate. It is all happening without our conscious thought. Your soul is looking for it's, twin flame.

So my husband searched for me on the train every day until he found me. I noticed him sit behind me for a few mins while he got up the nerve to come talk to me. We talked for about 30 mins until I got off the train at my stop. I will confess that I was not impressed by the conversation. He cursed like a sailor. I think that men who curse in front of women have no respect; but when I got off the train my energy body told me that it had made a, soul connection.

I had this incredible feeling of euphoria!  My stomach was doing somersaults. I knew right then that we would have a relationship. I knew right then that I had found my, soul mate, This is how you, find your soulmate, you listen to your body.

Three months later he proposed we were married 8 months after. That was 13 years ago and we are still in love, compatible energies!

Soul mate Meaning

This is an example of the science of two, compatible energies, something we have no control over.  That is why you have heard people say we have no control over who we love. You can't pick your, soul mate. The science of attraction brings him or her to you.

Your, soul mate meaning,  two souls joining together to perfect each other.

On the other hand when your energy is not in sync with other, we get, bad vibes, not your, soul mate.  The energy cancels each other out and instead of feeling euphoria you feel depleted.

Energy is your most important reading as a single woman looking for a mate. Ever heard the saying that someone is like an anchor, you can’t thrive since you met them.  Pay attention that means that you are not expanding, you are contracting or stuck.

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Illustration  the Science of, Attraction, the bad vibe

Rhonda met this great guy at a bar. The guy was gorgeous, absolutely delicious. He pursued and seduced her and they started, dating. They had a great time together but something didn’t click. He was kinda, sorta vague on his explanation about everything.

It took about three months of, dating, this guy for Rhonda to discover that he was still living with his daughter’s mother and another 6 months to understand that theirs was an on and off relationship. He would never under any circumstances spend the night, saying that he did not want his daughter to wake up and he was not there.  This reminds me of Whitney Houston’s married relationship in Waiting to Exhale!

This is when Rhonda realized that a married man is a married man.  They can string you along forever. They can tell you anything.  She decided to breakup.  The breakup was mutual but she wasted at least 2 years on a relationship that was going nowhere when if she had paid attention to her, bad vibes,  she could have saved herself from heartache.

Reading energy is the most important data in the, dating, world.

Be careful of Psychopaths while looking to, find your  Soul Mate

Have you ever met a psychopath? Or been in a relationship with one? They are masters at reading energy.

We are all broadcasting a frequency of our most innermost thoughts. That is how a predator picks out his prey.

  • That is how a mugger chooses his victim.
  • Animals also know how to read this energy.  A lion picks his prey from a flock. He reads the vibration of the weakest prey.

I am sure everyone on the planet is aware on some level of the Art Kelly crimes against teenage girls and women. How do you think he chose his victims?  Women who would allow him to disrespect their bodies and lock them up in a room and  have to ask to go to the bathroom and ask to eat?  Some said that he didn't feed them for 3 days, yet they didn't leave. As one of his victims said in an interview.  If you were weak minded, he wants you. You could be a teenager or a 30 year old woman!

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Science of, attraction,  reading vibrations when looking to, find your soul mate?

Synergistic relationships are based on both individuals being on the same wavelength, when they completely understand each other and don't try to limit the space they occupy in each other's lives.

I read an article that stated the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.  The examples used was if you train two Belgian horses together, the effect is multiplied: together, they can pull 32,000 pounds. Two horses, doing the work of four, even though it seems to defy physics. Often, in a positive relationship, you’ll find that synergy is already happening.

How can you increase that by finding harmony, in acknowledging individual strengths and how they work best together?  For example, I love to shop; but I don’t necessarily like to cook all the time.  My husband, will send me a list of all the items to pick up the grocery store and he will cook.  I then just have to do keep the kitchen tidy and get the family read to enjoy his great cooking.  It works for both of us.

In regards to signs women should look out for in predators, Robert Hare, one of the world’s foremost experts on, psychopathic behavior, believes that people need to know what to do in the event they find themselves involved or associated with a predatory psychopath.

Here are his tips on How to Avoid being targeted by a predator when trying to, find your soulmate:

  1. Be careful of props—the winning smile, the promises, the fast talk, and the gifts meant to deflect you from the manipulation and exploitation that may be occurring. Any of these characteristics can have enormous sleight-of-hand value, serving to distract you.”
  2. Anyone who seems too perfect is. Psychopaths hide their dark sides until they get their target person deeply involved. Too much flattery, feigned kindness, and cracks in grandiose stories should provide clues and put you on your guard. Make reasonable inquiries.
  3. Know yourself—or you might be vulnerable from your blind spots. Predators know how to find and use your triggers, so the more you realize what you tend to fall for, the more closely you can guard against it.

 

The second stage in the Science of Attraction, is Chemistry

I know you have heard this word thrown around all the time. For example the dating sites match people up by common interests; but they can't manufacture chemistry.

Let's get back to my husband for a minute.

I just shared all about the our first meeting and about us having good vibes but if we had no chemistry we would just become good friends.

Here are the Chemicals released  by love that is responsible for Chemistry:

  • Dopamine – Lights up your pleasure center. Your pleasure goes up when you are near or think about this person. Your  motivation goes up, Now you are thinking of that nice house and 2 kids! Your sadness goes down, if you were depressed, you are now happy.

I know you have heard the saying love is blind. It is true. Dopamine make you more attractive to your mate and since we are on this planet to procreate, your sexuality goes up! I am sure you have heard or have personal data that new lovers do it all the time!

  • The second chemical that is released in love is Oxytocin  – Oxytocin is responsible for trust. Your level of trust goes up, and your attachment goes up. This is probably why your girlfriends can’t figure why you are going out with a player;  but you don’t see it until your heart is crushed. The psychopath uses this one to his advantage.
  • Finally Serotonin is released. – This hormone is responsible for all the pain attached to love. Serotonin goes up and you become obsessed with your lover. Love is a chemical addiction!

Thank God I have only had one experience with an over abundance of this hormone.

I met one of my boyfriends at a club and it was an instant attraction. I fell hard.  I swooned when he called me baby the next day!

Less than 2 months after we met, we made plans to spend the New Year in Jamaica.  He left before Christmas but I wouldn’t leave my kids for Christmas so I made plans to meet him in Jamaica after Christmas.   It was the longest week in my entire life.  I literally looked at the clock the entire time.  I was an addict! I however did not, find my soulmate.

Arifah what can you lend to this conversation from a social worker perspective?

Wow, Myrna glad you spoke about the hormones.  I always talk to my clients about increasing their Oxytocin through touch, such as a hug, holding hands, a kiss.  Everyone has a sensitive area on the body that causes arousal when touched, whether sexual or just to feel good. It’s important in a relationship to know what your partner likes and does not, to give each other compliments and share tips on how increase synergy between each other.  It’s important to always reminisce on moments, like when you first met, knew you were in love and what you admire about one another now.  All of this, helps build connection.

In general the most salient characteristics for chemistry between two people are mutual interest (reciprocal candor, reasonableness, intimacy,

Similarity, and physical attraction.

 

Here are some questions from my Life Coach group on Facebook on How to, Find your Soul mate?

Remember you have an open invitation to join this group to get answers from the group on any of your struggles in life.

Question from Velma: I would like to, find your soul mate, but most men in my age group 60, want a traditional woman to cook and clean and a man to think for her. I’m not a traditional woman and I’m tired of pretending to be helpless. How do we as women maneuver in a world of the insecure man?

My answer – be both cake and ice-cream. Sometimes you are soft like ice cream and sometimes you are in charge and embrace your masculine energy and be cake.

What’s your answer Arifah

Keep doing what you love and make yourself a priority to level up.

Question from Elizabeth:

Should I be looking to, find your soul mate,  of just someone to keep me warm at night?

When you are in your fifties and you have to start all over dating, do you date to find a husband or should you be okay with someone to keep you warm at night.

My answer- Someone to keep you warm at night. Women over 40 have a very slim chance of finding a husband, but you can definitely, find your soul mate!

What’s your answer Arifah?

Its up to you, based on what you are looking for in the present.  Dating, can work either way, based on what you end up wanting.

Arifah is the Founder and Program Director of Lifted by Purpose.

Lifted by Purpose Provides a diverse range of services to organizations seeking trainings, workshops or programs with the intent to engage youth in conversations about mental health and learn practical strategies to cope with life stressors. Including:

  • Anger Management
  • Healthy Relationships
  • Mental Health Education and Coping Skills
  • Youth Engagement and
  • Mental Health First Aid Training

Located at 180 Shaw St, suite 201, Toronto, Ont.  Phone # 416-391-5270

 Additional Resources for, How to Find your Soulmate

http://blog.myhelps.us/sex-and-spiritual-energy-the-tree-of-life/

 

Is the Secret to Love, Sex?

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/

How To Use Vibrational Energy For Attraction

https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/

 

 

 

Six Holistic Ways to Find your Purpose

find your life purpose

Are you on a quest to, find your purpose?  It is the only way to find fulfillment and the secret to happiness.  Dr. Ken Keis shares six holistic approaches or benchmarks in your quest for, purpose.

Intro to our topic:

Dr. Ken Keis, is a highly sought-after author, speaker, trainer, podcast host, and TV and media guest. His latest books include: Why Aren't You More Like Me?, Deliberate Leadership, and The Quest For Purpose.

 

A story on how to find your purpose

So many people listening have been trapped down a pathway that was really sort of conditioned from their background. I woke one morning and asked myself if this was what I wanted to be doing in 20 years from now, and the answer was no. So, I immediately took action. I decided to quit farming and hired a coach to help me figure out what I wanted to do in life. My, quest to, find my purpose,  began. What was my purpose in life? The answer, to help others to live, lead and work on purpose. This is the question to, find your purpose.

My coach passed away from cancer many years ago now, and I just took his process and then added and enhanced it. Basically it was a self-discovery narrative and an interactive sort of process to, find your purpose.

What are the six Holistic approaches to, find your purpose?

A lot of times what happens people don't realize their, purpose, because the question is too big. It's overwhelming and what we're trying to do here is get people to fine tune all the components of their life to go to the next level.

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Benchmarks to Finding your Purpose

So let's go through these benchmarks to, find your purpose.

1. First Benchmark is, Personal Style, CRG is an assessment company. In our quest to, find your purpose, one of our assessments is called “the personal style indicator.” We believe that we are all born with a certain Personal style. Not right not wrong and we develop and we change and we mature in life but our personal style never changes. Myrna is the same Myrna from 10 years ago. In other words Myrna can wake up in the morning and still count on Myrna being Myrna.

2. Biophysical Influences, like Health concerns, physical and mental disabilities. The statistics of North American health is that 75 to 80 percent of people are unwell at some level and another 50 percent are diabetic or pre-diabetic. So there's no way if I am thinking of, finding my purpose,  if I'm sick. I don't have energy, I have chronic fatigue syndrome, I have immunity disorder or whatever is going on. 90 to 95 percent of all illness is lifestyle related. In my quest to, find my purpose, I need to take my body and treat it well. If I have a racehorse and I don't take care of that racehorse and then try to have it win the Kentucky Derby, it’s not going to happen.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

3. Self-worth – What you think of yourself. We have another assessment called “the self-worth inventory” to, find your purpose,  our confidence levels highly influence the decisions we make or not make. So maybe you actually have an idea of your, purpose, but you don't have the courage to step into it.

4. Environmental systems – Schools , workplace, culture. We are a product of our environment. If I grew up in Florida versus LA or New York, Toronto or Vancouver versus Afghanistan, I'm going to have a different perspective on life and possibly a different path to, find my purpose.

5. Social Teachers – Parents, teachers, pastors As a kid you you very curious. You watched how your parents interacted, they're teaching you how to treat others. The songs you listened to there's now linkage towards violence and video games. In your quest to, find your purpose, be aware of what you’re letting in, who you’re working with, who are nurturing your personal relationships.

6. Emotional Anchors or triggers – Divorce, physical and verbal abuse, death of a loved one are all triggers. Any kind of event in life that causes either positive or negative associations becomes a trigger. Every single person listening or reading has triggers. You had an event in life that creates an emotional response. This goes back to a trigger that has been anchored, in many cases these triggers are subconscious. In your quest to, find your purpose, you don't realize your, purpose, because you’re angry. You can also have unforgiveness. You have not really released yourself of this traumatic event. I had my girlfriend when I was 21 years old murdered by a friend of mine. If I didn’t let go of that event from 1982, it would affect me forever.

7. Spirituality, – This is a bonus because it covers everything. We are spiritual beings have a human experience. All of these seven benchmarks, come together to develop the whole person. They are essential in our quest to, find your purpose. That's why developing all these areas is critic to finding your, life purpose.


Transform your mind iTunes link

 

Because we are spiritual beings having a human experience, our thoughts are so powerful. What you believe is the environment in which you live. Dr Bruce Lipton talks about the fact and the fact that our perceptions affects our reality.

Spirituality, is also consciously spending time developing yourself. It is a fact that you create your world. Most of us believe that we are product of circumstances; but if you believe that you actually can design and create your world, that's what you will create. So yes, spirituality, the spiritual part of you is very important to, finding your purpose.

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Conclusion

Very powerful conversation with Dr. Ken Keis. Dr Keis is the author of “The Quest for Purpose” A self-discovery process to find it and live it!
To listen to the full episode, download on iTunes, Google play, Sticher, TuneIn radio, iHeart radio.

To quickly summarize, Dr. Keis gave us seven personality development models called benchmarks, that can help you in your quest to, find your purpose, we talked about personality style, we talked about wellness and stress and how it affects how you show up in life, we talked about, self-worth and self-confidence. How that affects what you go after. We talked about the, environmental systems, where you were born and what your parents expect you to become. We talked about, social teachers, the news and our, emotional triggers. If something bad happened to you a lot of times, people can't get over it. This event hijacks them and it controls most of their thinking.

We talked about, spirituality, which is all-encompassing because we are spiritual beings and what we believe, has one of the most predominant effects in your quest to, find your purpose.

Download a FREE eBook version of Dr Ken Keis book “The Quest for Purpose”

Remember to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, iHeart radio, and please leave a review if you find this podcast Helps you Live Your Best Lives Now!

Additional Resources:
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-awaken-to-your-souls-purpose/
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-can-millennials-find-their-purpose/
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-a-diamond-by-finding-your-purpose/
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-lifted-by-your-purpose/
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-quest-for-purpose_b_6575194
https://www.forbes.com/sites/danpontefract/2016/02/04/the-story-of-candice-and-her-quest-for-purpose-at-work/

In a Unhealthy Relationship? Should you Stay or Go.

Unhealthy Relationships vs Healthy Love

So many women stay in, unhealthy relationships, and complain.  They feel unsatisfied, they feel unappreciated,  they feel disconnected, but they stay because they don't want to be alone.  Blake D Bauer, relationship coach lets you know the signs when you should go, if you have given it all you got.

In this Blog and podcast, Blake D Bauer and Myrna Young, Life Coach, are going to be talking on the topic, unhealthy relationships, vs, healthy love.  So ladies download and listen to the full interview because we're gonna be talking about men and how to understand your man.

Listen to full interview here:

Introduction to Blake D Bauer and, Unhealthy Relationships

Myrna – How did you become an Author, Teacher and a Relationship Coach?

Blake – As a young man I struggled a lot psychologically and emotionally and I didn't have a lot of healthy men role models in my life, so to cope and survive I got into drinking alcohol, partying and doing drugs.

As a man I instinctively learned how to survive by repressing my emotions.  I spent a lot of time in the gym building up my ego and building up my muscles which is a very common masculine tendency.

It's ironic because all that was my subconscious way of protecting my heart and my vulnerability and surviving the world.  We all do that in our own way; but these are the common male tendencies.

Later I developed a desire to understand my purpose in life, which is another topic I think is really important for men.  If we don't have a very clear sense of purpose, it's hard for us to be strong for our family, for the women in our life and our business. I found that my purpose was to become a, relationship coach, helping women understand when they are in, unhealthy relationships.

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Men really do need a very clear sense of purpose, to be a captain of the ship or be a king for his queen.  I started waking up every morning trying to answer two questions.

  1. How do I free myself from this suffering of, unhealthy relationships?
  2. What's the purpose of my life?

This question led me to five different universities where I studied psychology, nutrition, theories of education and early childhood development,  Chinese Medicine including acupuncture and oriental medicine.

I then had a series of insights where I could see how, unhealthy relationships, including the, unhealthy relationship, with myself, was fueling, unhealthy relationships, with others.

In other words if we never learn how to love ourselves as children, it can lead to physical disease, psychological and emotional suffering like depression, anxiety,  bipolar disorder and, unhealthy relationships.

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Blake – There was a point in my journey when I realized that everything was really about how you learn to love yourself and value yourself on a daily basis; because that's the key to your health and happiness.  It's also the key to, healthy love, and, healthy relationships.

In my book “You Were not Born to Suffer” I share all my findings on, unhealthy relationships, vs, healthy love.

You were not born to suffer in unhealthy relationships
You were not born to suffer in unhealthy relationships

Why is Finding your Purpose Important for, Healthy Love?

Blake – One of the big questions that everybody asks is,  Does money and wealth equal success and happiness?  So that was the question I kept asking myself.  Is success and happiness equivalent to financial success? Can you find, healthy love, if you have lots of money?

I had actually grown up around people who had been very successful financially; but who were very self-destructive and in, unhealthy relationships.

I saw people chase money, get it and lose it again doing drugs. They hurt their children, ruined their marriages and they all had, unhealthy relationships.

  • So I started asking the question, What is the purpose of Life?
  • I was plagued and tortured with questions like, Why did I come to this planet?
  • Is there a God?

From the age of 18 to 24,  I was on this very intense healing spiritual and personal development journey. I felt that the reason I had come to the planet and my purpose was to share my insights on self-love with as many people as possible.

If I could teach others how to love themselves then they would be able to love others and have, healthy relationships.

How does the Emotional Health of men lead to, Unhealthy Relationships?

A lot of women go into, unhealthy relationships,  with men and they don't get what they're looking for because the man is not emotionally ready.

Sometimes as a woman you can also be seeking love from a man that you don't give yourself,  or that you didn't get from your father. For example, it's really important to have that self-awareness.

I am  spending time with this guy because I really enjoy his company, I really enjoy his energy.

He's supportive,  he's loving,  he's present plus I'm attracted to him.  We should be having a, healthy relationship, but we are not. So if he is not giving me what I need, then I have to analyse why I am with him.

Ask these questions.

  • Did you enjoy his company?
  • Did you like feeling protected?

You want to build something with this man, so you start to open up.  You tell him, I feel X Y and Z.  Pay attention to whether he can really hear you.

  • Does he listen and respond?
  • Or  does he check out and become distracted?
  • Or does he change the topic?

Another good question to ask is:

  • How do you feel about this or that?
  • How does he feel about regrets in his life?
  • How does he feel about the importance of communication or emotional connection?
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Blake – This is how you know if you can have a, healthy relationship, with this man.

If you don't get the response that you want, this is the red flag that you are in an, unhealthy relationship.

A lot of men use this mask, I don't like to talk.  I don't like to talk about my feelings.

If you get that response,  say I need a partner who is able to open up and talk about his feelings, because that's  important to me.  As a woman looking for a, healthy relationship, you need a partner who can connect to you emotionally and be there for you and be your best friend as well as a lover.

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If you don’t demand what you want, this would be a whole relationship based on you betraying yourself, so the key from the beginning is don't betray yourself.  If you're betraying yourself right now, STOP because it's never going to get better.

Many women go into relationships thinking, I am going to fix this man up. He is a work in progress! He is like a fixer-upper, I'm gonna flip this house, I'm gonna flip this man. I'll just put some nice new wallpaper and everything will be great.

NO it never works,  it just doesn't work.

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What does, Healthy relationships, look like?

If you're looking for this great of a husband then you have to be a great wife.  If you're looking for a, healthy relationship, then you've got to understand what are you bringing to the table,  starting with self-love. You’ve got to fix yourself because even if you do get the man,  he might not stay because you're insensitive, you're bitchy, or you complain all the time.

You've got to be the best version of yourself, you've got to be able to understand what you what you want up front and ask for it.

Healthy relationships, are merely a projection of the relationship you have with yourself.  It directly connects back to where you have unhealthy thought habits and unhealthy habits of internalizing your emotions or pretending you feel different than you feel.

What are the steps to check if you are in an Unhealthy Relationship?

There's a couple of practical approaches and mindsets that go with having, healthy relationships.

  1. One is that you have to become very aware of what you're feeling on a daily basis, so for example you can just ask yourself, What do I feel right now in my body?
  2. Get used to saying – I feel hungry, I feel hot,  I feel frustrated,  I feel sad, I feel depressed.  I feel unloved, I feel angry, I feel alone.
  3. Become intimate with your feelings.
  4. On a daily basis talk openly and honestly with your friends, your family or your partner.
  5. Find someone that you feel safe with that and who you can talk to on a daily basis about what's going on inside of you.  If you don't have a friend or a family member that you can talk to openly and honestly, then it's important to find a therapist.
  6. Another thing you can do on your own or until you talk to someone, is to get a diary or a journal and write, Dear Universe or Dear God, depending on what you believe. Some people have a connection with a deceased loved one, like their mother or their father or a grandparent,  you can write to your loved one who has passed on as well.
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You are in an, Unhealthy Relationship, should you stay or should you go?

Firstly, expressing your emotions honestly and kindly, is the first step if you are in an, unhealthy relationship.  Most of us never learned how to do that, and that sabotages relationships and makes us sick and miserable.  So you got to learn how to be open, honest, and  vulnerable on a daily basis.

  • Step two is acting in integrity, acting in alignment with what you feel and want and need. So how many people stay in, unhealthy relationships, and all they do is complain.  They feel unsatisfied, they feel unappreciated,  they feel disconnected;  but they stay and they complain.
  • They don't take action following what they feel, because they don't want to be alone. Yet most people in that situation feel alone anyway. They stay in an, unhealthy relationship, and stifle the chance of meeting someone new.

You should leave an, unhealthy relationship, if you've done everything you can in that situation to heal the relationship and the other person's not willing to help.

Conclusion for Unhealthy Love Relationships

You can leave without regret.  You know in your heart you gave it a hundred percent,  you gave everything you had.  You took the responsibility for your actions. This person did not meet you on the bridge!

Blake – My book “You were not born to suffer” is on Amazon, iTunes and audible.  It's on audio kindle and paperback, you can get it at any bookstore.  I normally teach at retreats throughout the year in person in the united states,  I teach a lot in the mountains in Colorado at a 600 acre Buddhist retreat center. Now that we have COVID  Check out my online events  on my website unconditional-self love. Com.

Follow the Transform Your Mind Podcast on Instagram @https://www.instagram.com/myrnamyoung/

on Facebook @https://www.facebook.com/Transform-Your-Mind-356442618235798/

on Twitter @https://twitter.com/myrna_young1

Join my Private Life Coach Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/193005424200128/

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/transform-your-mind-coach/id1144973094?mt=2

Additional Resources Unhealthy Relationships

http://blog.myhelps.us/alchemy-desire-episode-5-long-term-relationship-dance/

http://blog.myhelps.us/what-is-the-1-thing-women-can-do-to-improve-their-relationships/

https://www.mentalhelp.net/relationships/is-it-love-or-codependency/

https://time.com/5274206/toxic-relationship-signs-help/

How to become Limitless: Emotional Intelligence Leadership

Become Limitless using emotional intelligence self awareness

Become limitless, with, emotional intelligence leadership. Your, emotional intelligence leadership,  skills keeps track of everything.  It stores emotions,  holds emotional experiences.  Emotional intelligence self awareness, refers to your ability to notice and express your emotions.  How well you control your own emotions and to notice as well and to manage how those emotions affect you and affect us around you in positive or negative ways.

Listen to the Full Interview

 

Introduction to becoming Limitless with, Emotional Intelligence Self Awareness

My guest today is Adri Kyser, she is an international holistic wellness and personal development Coach.  We discuss the very exciting topic, renewing your mind, going from limited to, limitless by taping into our, emotional intelligence.

Adri Kyser yoga, uses the enlightened alchemy method that has helped thousands of women worldwide achieve everything from reduced pain and stress to increasing confidence and productivity. She's also the co-author of the best-selling book “Overcoming Adversity and Entrepreneurship

She was born in Venezuela, went to Law school, (since I was born in Guyana, we are neighbors.) But when she came to the United States she felt not good enough, because she spoke with an accent.

Adri has helped over 4500 men and women worldwide change the narrative of their painful memories, so they can tap into their own super power and go from being limited to living a life of, limitless, potential.

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The Four Components to becoming, Limitless

I found four key components to long-lasting health, happiness and fulfillment using, emotional intelligence leadership.

  1. Physical health – how you take care of your body
  2. Mental wellness – how you perceive the world number
  3. Emotional Intelligence – how you experience the world
  4. Spiritual connection – how you feed your soul including, Adri Kyser yoga

When you really begin to work on these foundations, these pillars you begin to shift and see tremendous transformations in your life.  You begin to heal from the inside out, and become empowered.  You are no longer driven by your negative voice.

The impostor syndrome that a lot of us have, especially women is that voice that's constantly saying.   Are you sure you can do that?  You're not good enough to do that.  That voice that feeds your fears, your insecurities and even your self-sabotaging behavior, that negative voice. Using your, emotional intelligence leadership, skills allows you to become aware of that voice.

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Myrna – If we want to change, then it's never from the exterior, it's always from the interior.  A lot of women feel they are not good enough. Michelle Obama wrote an entire book on this subject “Becoming”.  Even as the First Lady, she still felt not good enough.

We feel not good enough, when a person of authority tells us something negative and it becomes imprinted on our minds.

Most of the time we stuff it down and don't actually know that we are holding on to that hurt,  then it comes it comes up in chronic pain.  It comes up in overeating or even when you drink or take drugs or any of that stuff.  You are trying to artificially change your state;  but one of the best ways to change your state is to go inwards maybe in gratitude, because that's basically what I do.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

What is your method for teaching someone to understand what emotions they've stuffed down?

Adri – I call this process Enlightened Alchemy.  This is a process that was born from my personal experience and then from working with clients. It is the process of transforming the physical, mental, and emotional with, emotional intelligence leadership.  Including even the spiritual transformation of one's self.

What made these transformations successful, was not just addressing the pain or one particular area of life, it was addressing all those four components of life.  If you're ready to get the soulmate,  ready to lose the weight,  ready to make X amount of money in your business? I am here to help you go from limited to, limitless, using your, emotional intelligence leadership.

I'm here to help you go within, clear some stuff,  remove the stuff that's preventing you from, becoming limitless.  So you can feel empowered, so you can feel confident and know your true potential to,  become limitless.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Myrna – As Coaches we are supposed to be enabling our clients, we're supposed to be having our clients understand their blockages,  understand what’s preventing them from becoming, limitless, by looking at their past and seeing their patterns. Using, emotional intelligence leadership.

Is your Enlightened Alchemy based on the four principles: the physical, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual?

Adri –  Yes. I also call myself an energy alchemist, because I do a lot of energy work and activation.

Because everybody's unique,  I truly believe in the holistic approach, mind, body, emotions and spirit; so that everything we do whether it's business coaching or life coaching or whatever it is includes all four pillars.

How can, emotional intelligence leadership, help someone with emotions that they've stuffed down?

Adri – Your body remembers everything that you've ever done.  Every emotion, every thought, how you're eating, how you're sleeping.  It keeps track of everything.  Moving to the  mental part of your thoughts, on average an individual has about 70 000 thoughts per day.

About 10% of those thoughts are original thoughts so meaning 90% of your thoughts are repetition of the day before, or  weeks before, or even years before.  The problem with this, is your belief will affect your biology. Meaning your belief will affect how your body responds.  It changes your biochemistry.

So that's why the mind and body are so important.  Emotional intelligence self awareness, keeps track of everything.  It stores emotions,  holds emotional experiences.   Emotional intelligence leadership, refers to your ability to notice and express your emotions.  How well you control your own emotions and to notice as well and to manage how those emotions affect you and affect us around you in positive or negative ways.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

What people don't know is that emotions are molecules that carry information that affect the functioning of their cells their emotions.  Emotional Intelligence, will affect your biology just as your thoughts.  So, emotional intelligence leadership, is important, because if you don't have, emotional intelligence self awareness, you are not able to relate with the world around you or with others.

You're not able to read the social cues.  Emotional intelligence leadership, also empowers you to take control back of your life.  You're no longer coming from a victim place, you're no longer pointing fingers, because that person did this to me.  Emotional intelligence leadership,  is about understanding how you're managing the emotions that you're experiencing.

Emotional Intelligence to become Limitless
Emotional Intelligence leadership to become Limitless

According to Ayurveda the emotions that are not expressed or digested properly, gets buried in your tissues and fascia and will affect your physical well-being.  So over 15 years of teaching, Adri Kyser yoga,  and wellness, I have had students who cried after releasing these emotions that were buried in their tissues.

We hold anger in our liver,  grief is in our chest and lungs.

The other thing I like about, emotional intelligence leadership,  is it gives you the opportunity to take your power back.  So if someone is making you angry,  then you can ask yourself,  why am I choosing to be angry about this?

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Then you can move to asking yourself, what is triggering this emotion within me?

You can take your power back, by not letting people trigger you. The other part about triggers is recognizing what part within you is getting triggered.  Where the hurt coming from, because if you come and tell me Adri you are not a good rocket scientist, I wouldn't get triggered.

You can only be triggered by limited beliefs. Limiting beliefs keep you limited not, limitless.

If somebody right now tells me either you're a horrible coach or you're a bad yoga teacher. It will probably trigger me because it could be true.

If there's a trigger still around, that means there's still a part of me that's not healed. If you are still being triggered, you've gotta rub it out.  Figure out what is making you angry? What is this anger telling me?  Using, emotional intelligence leadership, skills and having the responsibility and the maturity and the tools necessary to go deeper and figure it out. It’s not saying that, Adri Kyser yoga, never gets angry.

We have to feel our emotions in order to process them, that's emotional intelligence leadership.  In order to release them and in order to learn the lessons that they want to teach us, so the next time your reaction may be milder.

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Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

How do you go from limited to, limitless with, Emotional Intelligence Leadership

If you're operating with, limited mindsets, then you are going to be limited. I like to start with the physical body, because that's where you're going to start seeing the fastest results.  When you feel safe and secure, when you are comfortable in your own skin, then you're going to be able to go deeper into the other layers.

So to become, limitless,  it's recognizing where your self-imposed limitations are.  We can learn to fly and soar in our personal relationships, in our growth.  The limits that we have, oftentimes come from self-imposed limitations or limits that other people have put on us. When it comes to living a, limitless, life it is working in your mindset and working on your, emotional intelligence leadership.

It's really about becoming aware.  Awareness is key.  Thoughts and emotions you're experiencing on a regular basis it is important to be aware.  Grab a journal and start the practice where you write down the thoughts and emotions you're having on a regular basis. Once a week or once a month review what you're writing.

You're going to see patterns.  You're going to say “oh my gosh look how many times I thought about this and that.”

Emotional intelligence leadership, is key. You cannot change something you don't know.  That it's like being in a dark room that's dirty and messy; but because the lights are out, you don't see the the mess or the dirt until you turn the lights on.

I created a workbook that I'm happy to offer to your podcast listeners.  It’s free.  It's simple, but it gives you some exercises and things that you can implement right away for you to become aware and notice some of your limiting beliefs that run in the background.

So with this workbook can take you from limited to, limitless.  I give you the tools to become aware of your limiting beliefs.  It allows you to understand that the universe is unlimited and the universe is abundant.

How can our listeners get a copy of your workbook.

My website is www.adrikaiser. They can also go to adrikeiser.com/free-gifts

Conclusion 

If you decide to step out of your comfort zone and if you're willing to work on yourself and use your, emotional intelligence leadership, and you're willing to try something new.   You can find new levels of strength, confidence, comfort or success that you never thought possible.  So push yourself, because if you stay in your comfort zone, you're never going to excel at anything.

I invite you to subscribe to the Transform your mind podcast YouTube channel to watch this interview live.

Additional Resources 

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-does-emotional-intelligence-affect-your-success/

https://globalleadershipfoundation.com/geit/eitest.html

 

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

In her book “Thriving, Not, Surviving” The author provides you with the route map to navigate a particular life, focusing on self-belief, relationships, managing change and finding your true purpose and achieving fulfillment.

In this episode of the Transform your mind to Transform your life radio show and podcast, Coach Myrna Young interviews Gina Gardiner, Author of the book , “Thriving Not Surviving – The 5 Secret Pathways To Happiness Success and Fulfilment”

  • Gina is a Motivational Speaker, Empowerment and Relationship Coach and Transformational Leadership Trainer with well over 30 years of experience helping people experience happiness, success and fulfillment. She’s the founder of the Thrive Together Tribe membership and personal and spiritual development Program and The Enlightened Leadership Program.
  • Gina has learned to walk twice as an adult.  For over 20 years, she ran her award-winning school, for the most part from a wheelchair.  The gift of this experience was the development of a unique approach to life and learning the tools on, Thriving, not just, surviving.
  • In 2004 Gina left Headship school as the Principal and has since worked with countless individuals, couples, teams and organizations helping them to step into their potential, to learn the lessons from the past and to recognize that it is their choice to step into their power and live a fearless life.  Gina is passionate about supporting people to live a truly happy, successful and fulfilling life, thriving, not just, surviving.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

What is the Difference between, Thriving, and,  Surviving?

There's a huge difference between, surviving, and thriving. Surviving, means to “continue to live or exist, especially in spite of danger or hardship.” Thriving, means to “prosper, be fortunate or successful, to grow or develop vigorously; to flourish.”

I really found myself moving on my career path very quickly. I was promoted to deputy principal of a large junior high school when I was 28.  I was appointed to be the catalyst for change.  I was the youngest on the staff and for the first six months. I was working directly with the principal because I was the deputy principal to strategically plan what we were going to do and start making the changes.

In the UK schools have a week off in February for the spring half term.  I was really thrilled to be going skiing with the kids. I was a keen skier and went off to Italy for the ski trip. In those days it was very fashionable to have the longest skis possible and I got a new pair of skis for Christmas.  I proceeded to wrap the extra 10 centimetres’ of the skis.  We left for the ski lift after lunch the next day after arrival. It was an absolutely beautiful day, one of those days in the mountains where the sun was shining and everything was clean and crisp.  I followed my friends to this new trail, when our lift turned a corner, I noticed the mountain was not as we expected.   Instead of being on a lovely red run that went for three or four kilometres, we were on the Schindler slope, which was the most difficult black run called a mogul.  A mogul is where the snow has been carved by the weather and they are often little cobblestones;  but these were six-foot monsters and the only way to ski was to turn on the top of a mogul and slide down and then find a way through the moguls till the next one, and turn on either side a narrow piece.  There was some powder snow, so I skied the first bird and then lost my nerve in terms of turning and ended up falling a long way in the powder snow.  It took me about 20 minutes to retrieve my ski and then make my way down to where my friends were sitting.  Each of them sitting on a mogul rather like an elf sitting on a toadstool!

I decided to sit on a mogul as well and the top of my mogul gave way and I starting to fall.  The next thing I knew, I was coming to. I had lost consciousness.  I'm told I fell about 150 to 200 feet down the mountain.

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

We were traveling home the next morning, so I thought I'd rather go and see the medics in the UK instead of Italy. I had a  terrible journey home.  My mum took one look at me and she carted me off to the emergency at the hospital. They diagnosed with a bad concussion and that I had damaged a nerve in my neck.  It took me three weeks to get back to school and two weeks later I was due to be the deputy leader on a skiing trip to Switzerland.  I was given permission to go because we were taking a doctor with us.  I was finding it more and more difficult to manage but I did manage until the very last evening when I said to a staff member, I'm going to have to go and lie down.  I wasn’t laying on my bed for more than a few minutes when I discovered that I was paralyzed.  So I'm lying on my bed, I can't feel my one side, I didn't want to frighten the children, their rooms were children down the corridor, and so I waited until one of the other adults arrived.  I have to say it was the longest time in my life. I have no idea how long it was, I just know it felt like forever.  When they did arrive all hell broke loose, an ambulance was called. I was carted off to Geneva Hospital and I was there for several days before being flown home and gradually my mobility returned; but I was never quite the same.  By the end of May, I went back to school.  I was doing school and sleep.  I thought I've had six weeks to recuperate during the summer break but;  two weeks later I had a phone call very early in the morning from my principal's wife, she had just found him dead in bed, he had a massive heart attack and so far from being restful holiday I was suddenly acting principal.

I had to contact the staff, the parents and the local authority and prepare for September and so by the time September came, I had plans in place and by the following January I was appointed the permanent head master.  I was determined that not only the children; but also the staff in my school would get the best learning environment that I could produce. That they would, thrive not just survive.   I've been very unhappy at school, and I wanted something very different for my pupils, and also for the staff.

I was walking, but by 1987 my mobility was deteriorating, and I had to start using the wheelchair in school.  I wasn't at that point wheelchair-bound, I could walk into the classroom, I could walk into my office; but I couldn't walk any distance.  Any walking produced fatigue and pain and for the next few years I managed like that until in 1996, I sneezed and I felt something ping in my back.  It was towards the end of the summer term, there's something about the summer holidays for me, I'm not quite sure what I did.

I had a special chair in assembly and that where I could sit at standing height, and one day I went to get off the chair, and my legs wouldn't hold me. I fell to the floor. So off to the hospital.  It turned out that I had a huge ruptured disc. I was just, surviving.  I had failed back surgery syndrome, so when I came around from the operation, if I put my left foot to the floor, then I just used to faint because of the pain. Surviving, was becoming tedious.

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Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

The best explanation the doctors came up with is that during the fall I had bruised the spinal cord and with skiing the second time, that the spinal cord had been swollen and cut off the blood supply or whatever, and so a period of time I was paralyzed on one side; but I was back at school after the back operation very quickly.  I already had my wheelchair, so the school was all set up for me to be operating from a wheelchair. I was still just, surviving.  It took me 18 months to walk at the end of my quite small garden.

I ruptured another disk that summer.  I could not stand at all now, if I stayed at home, I couldn't do anything other than read or watch television.  If my care giver didn’t fill the kettle,  I couldn't make myself a drink.  So I decided to go back to school. I was back at school because my brain worked, my mouth worked, my hands worked.  I had people who could lift things if I needed it and I could do what I loved and I was good at. Surviving was my intent.  I was going to focus on what I could do to start, thriving, not just surviving.

In 2004 I was given an ultimatum by the neurologist you've got to stop working the 15 hours a day that you're doing because my health was deteriorating.  I made the very difficult decision that I was going to leave the school.  I had to use an electric wheelchair.   I had all of these Skills, these expertise, experience and I thought well.  What am I going to do now?

I decided to focus on the development of leadership.  Getting more women to the table. I looked at retail manufacturing, finance, Insurance, local government and a whole range of industries.  The issues that they faced in terms of developing leadership, was no different in education, so I wrote my first couple of books and they became my credibility.  I worked mainly in corporate field as an, executive coach. I was now, thriving. The recession in early 2008 hurt my business, because the corporations just slashed training  and development.  I was back to, surviving.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

I started to do some lecturing for the university and they would commission me out to go and work with smaller businesses, SME is anything up to about 8 million pound turnover. I would go and work with these companies, we'd sort out the problem, I'd go away and then a few months later I'd be invited back to sort out another problem, so I suggested in those businesses to hire me full time as an, executive coach.

Back to, thriving, using the principles that I used to build up my own organization and become one of the best 100 schools in England.  I used the gift that my disability gave me and the gift that I had developed within my own organization to developing people's empowerment, personal empowerment and leadership where they would take radical responsibility for their own performance and shared responsibility for the team, for the whole organization and it was incredibly successful.

Reflection 4 Rejection
Reflection 4 Rejection

So I setup genuinely you.  I wrote the book, thriving not surviving,  and that sent me on my mission.  My mission now is to positively impact one million people and to do that through personal empowerment and enlightened leadership.

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Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

How can people go from, Thriving, to, Surviving, when facing challenges?

It's a bit serendipitous.  You have a problem, you find a way to get over it, then something

else happens and you find another way to keep, surviving.  When I came to write, thriving not surviving,  and it was the second book that I'd written around looking at the strategies that I'd used to overcome my personal challenges and going from, surviving, to thriving.  The first book

was called,  Chariots on Fire,  that was  my story and the personal strategies that I used to overcome the difficulty of, surviving,  but between 2009 and 2017, a lot of things changed.

I've done a lot of development work on myself and I'd worked with thousands of people and so I had moved my thinking.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

 

Here are the Two areas to focus to start, Thriving, and stop, Surviving.

  1. Beliefs – our beliefs about ourselves become our reality. If you believe you'll fail, the chances are you won't even start.  If you believe you'll might fail, you're going to make a set of decisions.  If you believe I'm going to succeed,  don't quite know how but; I'm going to succeed, your beliefs about whether you're enough or whether you are, too fat, too tall, too short, not rich enough, not educated enough,  too old, too young, those beliefs absolutely determine what sort of quality of life you're going to have.
  2. The second pathways is relationships. You want to be, thriving, in your relationships. Every relationship we have with other people is a mirror image of the relationship we have with ourselves.  So if you don't feel that you're enough,  if you listen to other people's opinions rather than trusting your own, if you believe that you deserve to be treated badly because you don't actually love and appreciate yourself, you're going to put up with people treating you in a very different way, than if you actually have confidence and a good self-esteem.  So the relationships we have with ourselves are incredibly important.

In a past episode Surviving R Kelly: the Mindset of a Predator,

The Lifetime series, Surviving R. Kelly, and the follow up Dateline episode, show a rich and famous R. Kelly feeding his sex machine with women of all ages. His preference seemed to be teenage girls as young as 12 years old; but women in their 30’s had the same experience.  One said that she did unspeakable things in a Black room, was starved, had to ask before she went to the bathroom, was physically abused, and had to call  Art. Kelly,  Daddy.

So in this interview, Nicole and  I  explore the mindset of  predator and how women of all ages can use their intuition to escape the lair of a predator.

These women who were a part of the, surviving R Kelly, documentary, had to learn to be strong minded. Similarly Gina had to learn to push past her flesh and fight to do the things she had always done, like lead a school. One of the victims in the, Surviving R. Kelly, interview, said just that.  She said that, sexual predators, look for the, weak minded woman,.  They usually go for the young, like teenagers because they are, weak minded women,  but if they find you are weak minded as an adult, then you become a victim as well.  She was one of the women in her 30’s who was a victim.  So if you are a, weak minded woman, then you are not using your intuition, instead, you are looking for this person to fill the void in your life, and in, the mindset of a sexual predator, they are more than happy to accommodate.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast
Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

If you are interested in your personal and spiritual development, all of Gina’s programs are on her website which is genuinely- you.  You will find all sorts of resources, lots of free stuff and also find her one-on-one coaching program and  enlightened leadership program.

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

How to Heal Your Brokenness

Leadership Coaching – Transform your Mind 

Important Leadership Skills for the workplace