How to Overcome Fear and Find Joy

energy of fear

Fear, is an, energy, and thoughts are the most powerful, energy,  force in the universe.  Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of, negative thoughts, is, fear. It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
If you allow, fear, to linger in your body and in your mind, It will not only attract the thing you, fear, the most into your experience; but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to, negative thoughts, or, fear. Negative thoughts, transform your body into an acidic state.

Fear, is a, negative thought, magnified to the 1000th degree.

In, fear,  mode your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell!
Unfortunately, your brain cannot detect the difference between your imagination and reality, so the person in the grip of fear cannot tell the difference. They cannot tell that, fear, it is “False Evidence Appearing Real.”

Using Positive Energy to banish Fear

Today I want to teach you how to use, positive energy, to clear the, negative energy, of, fear. But first I want to review one of the Spiritual Laws of the Universe.

The Law of Sowing and Reaping

We all know of the physical laws like, Gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are Spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the spiritual “Law of Sowing and reaping” can change your world.
Understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world of your thoughts will manifest in the physical world.

Put another way, that means whatever you plant in the fertile soil of your mind, will manifest in your physical world.
Just like planting an apple tree. Except that in the spiritual world;

The soil is your mind, The seeds are your thoughts,
The water are your actions,
And The sun is your feelings.

If you allow, fear, to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.

Energy flows where Attention Goes

Whatever you focus on expands.

Fear is Negative Energy

Everything is, energy, and all, energy, attracts similar energies.
You can’t put out, negative energy, and expect positive results.
You can’t plant apple trees and expect oranges.

Likewise, you can’t focus on what you, fear, and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you, fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal Law of Reaping and Sowing, it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.
These are six words you must stamp on your mind

“You become what you think about”

When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.

How to overcome fear

Exercise: How to overcome fear, write down something that is opposite of what you, fear, and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your, fear.
Since light conquers darkness, it will eventually have your, fear, for lunch!

  • Imagine you having fun traveling the world in crystal clear clarity.
  • Say daily affirmations that compliments your desire.
  • Visualize your goal so much that sometimes you are not sure what is imagined and what is reality;
  • the same way that you let fear take you out of reality.
  • Don’t get disappointed if it takes time to perfect this. Remember that positive things take time to manifest,
  • it is the negative ones that show up quickly.

Weeds will sprout up, negative thoughts, of failure will sprout up.
So, every morning find the weeds and dig them up.

Remember a successful gardener will always cultivate his land.

Cultivate your mind for success.
Life is energy, whatever you put out, is returned to you.
The mind does not care what seeds you plant; it will always return what you plant.
You can plant wealth or you can plant poverty.
You can plant fear or you can plant happiness.

Here is an excerpt from the book: The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology:
The Buddha faced plenty of his own fear and terror of imminent death. This is a passage from the Buddha’s early writings that Jack Kornfield, a teacher who helped introduce Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West, quotes in his book.

How would it be if in the dark of the month, with no moon, I were to enter the most strange and frightening places, near tombs and in the thick of the forest, that I might come to understand fear and terror. And doing so, a wild animal would approach or the wind rustle the leaves and I would think, “Perhaps the fear and terror now comes.” And being resolved to dispel the hold of that fear and terror, I remained in whatever posture it arose, sitting or standing, walking or lying down. I did not change until I had faced that fear and terror in that very posture, until I was free of its hold upon me … And having this thought, I did so. By facing the, fear, and terror I became free.

Do not Fear: Definition of fear

Fear – False objects appearing real, as per the about passage, can be released by standing your ground. Our instinctive reaction to, fear, is to turn and run because as humans we are hard wired to run from pain and towards pleasure. But, as the Buddha teaches in the passage above if you stand and have the courage to not move, you become free you, let go of fear, and realize that your imagination is always worse than the reality.

Let me share a personal story on how I overcame, fear and, remove negative energy from home. 

When I first came to the United States of America, I came as a business owner. I did not have any of the benefits of a permanent resident. As my business was building, I decided to earn money as a sales person selling vacations. I was not authorized to work in the US, so I became very fearful of being found out and being deported. Every night I would dream that the immigration officials would come to my house and take me away in handcuffs. Sometimes I would dream that they would throw me in the back of the trunk.

One day, my pastor preached a sermon on, the fear factor. He said that God promises to carry your burdens, so give them to God. He said when you give your, fears, and heavy loads to God, you can’t worry or take them back because that would mean that you don’t have faith in God’s promise to carry them. He asked the congregation to write our, fears, and heavy burdens on a piece of paper and ceremoniously throw them at the alter giving them to God. I wrote my, fear, of being deported on a piece of paper and threw in on the alter. In doing so, I, let go of fear, and became free because I gave it away to someone else, God. The good news is that I no longer was afraid of anything. Every time something came up that would potentially me fearful, I would face it and know that it will work out for my good. I stood on the scripture “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you.”

Meditation to Let go of Fear

Sit quietly in a chair, be comfortable.
Place feet flat on the floor, hands clasped in your lap. Close your eyes. Be present. Focus on your breathing, feel your belly rise and fall under your clasped hands.
Breathe in for a count of 4 and breathe out for account of 6. Thus, slowing down your rhythmic cycles. Be mindful of the air as it passes through your nostrils down your esophagus and into your abdomen. If your mind wanders off bring it back gently to your breathe. Your mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Concentrating on your breathe bypasses your mind. Once you slow your cycles and quiet your mind, you are now in the receptive mode to change your programming.

Think briefly about something you, fear. Today we will use as our example the, fear of flying. Today we are going to use our imagination to replicate the experience of flying while you are sitting comfortably and safely in your chair.

Let’s begin. visualize you are at the airport with your loved ones, your husband and 2 children. You are on your way to Venice, Italy. You chose Venice because you wanted a romantic vacation with your husband. You can’t wait to ride on the Gondolas and be serenaded with live music, going to the opera and have the experience of taking a water taxi everywhere. You are excited. This energy is positive. You let this feeling of euphoria wash over you, you feel your body tingle with this positive energy. You feel good!
Now you are boarding the plane, you are starting to feel a little anxious. You board the plane and find your seat, you buckle yourself in. The pilot announces that your flight time is 6 hours and that he will be flying at a cruising altitude of 35,000 feet. He advises you to give your attention the flight attendant and pay attention to the safety information. You mentally note your exits. You listen to what to do in the event of a water landing! Your mind is going nuts with fear. Your heart starts to palpitate rapidly, you start to sweat.

Now the airplane is taxing down the runway at full speed, then lifts off the ground.
You squeeze your husband’s hand, you are hardly breathing, your whole body is tight. The plane is climbing it shakes a little. You are so scared the sweat starts dripping from your forehead. The plane reaches cruising altitude, the pilot turns off the fasten seat belt sign and people start moving about the plane. You calm down a little, but still aware of every movement of the plane. The flight attendants come around and offer beverages. You ask for a glass of wine. You drink it down in one gulp! You start to feel calmer. The flight is uneventful. After what seems like an eternity the pilot announces that in 30 minutes he will be starting his descent into Venice. Your fear returns, the plane shakes a little as it descends and you are once again in the grip of fear. The plane touches down and speeds down the runway braking speed. Your body is tight, your breathing shallow. Then it is all over. You faced your fear and came out on the other side! You exit the plane and you are in Venice!

I want you now to realize that you have taken your first flight in your mind.
I want you to realize that fear is false evidence appearing real.
I want you to realize that once you face your fear, like a bully, it backs down.
I want you to realize that the energy of fear is keeping you stuck.
I want you to realize that whatever your fear, just like we took a ride on an airplane and came out alive on the other side that is how all fear works. It has no real power over you. The only thing that is holding you back from doing the things you want to do is all in your mind. So, the only way the clear it is to start with the mind. Do a dress rehearsal in the mind and then do it in the physical.

The first step in How to overcome fear is to face the fear.

The second step is to clear it from the place it is planted in your mind. Take a moment now to ask your higher self where the fear of flying came from. When was the fear planted? When you get the answer, you may think to yourself, boy that was silly or you may have a legitimate reason to be afraid of flying. Someone you know could have died in a plane crash or you yourself could have been in a plane emergency landing. The thing to remember is that you know that every time you drive on the highway you could die and you are aware of thousands of people who have died in car accidents; yet few people have a fear of driving in a car.
So, consciousness is the second step.

The third step is to clear that energy by replacing it with, positive energy. We are going to use the, positive energy, of gratitude. Sit comfortably again. Imagine a bright light entering the crown of your head moving down through your check, down your throat to your chest, down your abdomen through your feet.
Feel this light fill all your energy centers as you become fully relaxed. Now expand this energy out from your chest past the room, past your city, past your country, past the clouds, past the sun, past the planet into the stratosphere. You are now floating in cyberspace. If you can bring your fear to mind in this space, do so now.

Then replace that feeling of fear with the feeling of gratitude. Gratitude that you are alive, gratitude that you are in your sound mind, gratitude that you have a place to sleep and food to eat. Gratitude that you are wealthier than 95% of the people in the world and you have the resources to travel to exotic destinations. Gratitude that you will not let fear rob you of your joy.
Now set the intention to fly to the first place on your bucket list within the year.

If you found this post helpful, I would love to hear your comments on what your fears are, and if you achieved a successful result transferring it with these exercises. Please share this podcast and blog post with friends and family and remember to subscribe and post a review.
Transform your Mind podcast is giving away a Free Checklist you can do every morning to replace your fears with positive affirmations.
To receive please subscribe, rate and review this podcast then send me an email to info@myhelps.us with the subject line iTunes review.
Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

7 Ways to Get Unstuck and Take Back Your Power

Mother wound healing

One of the worst, negative emotions, in my opinion, is the feeling of, being stuck; defined as moving forward or going back looks worse than staying in the misery of your current situation. How do you, get unstuck?

Our topic today is How to, Get Unstuck. This is a, life coaching, session with, coach Myrna

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Being stuck, is a place of no personal power

https://youtu.be/w4Qxq23FzPQ

What it feels like to be stuck

A few months back I received a note on LinkedIn from a young lady who said she was,  stuck. I felt her pain deep within my soul so I offered her a free, life coaching, to, get unstuck.

She was in an, abusive relationship. Her boyfriend was physically abusive to both her and her 2 year old daughter and she feared for her life. She had the courage to pack up and leave that situation. She lived in Florida and her only family lived in Atlanta, Georgia. In order to, get unstuck,  she quit her job, left her boyfriend and fled to her sister’s home in Atlanta. Her sister was unemployed and had 6 children. She was dependent on her husband for support. This young lady felt uncomfortable living in her sister’s home, because she didn’t have anything for herself and now she had to feed her and her child. She called me because she felt she should go back to her, abusive relationship!

How many of you can feel her pain?
Being stuck, is  when the pain of staying in your current intolerable situation looks better than the pain of leaving.
It could be a domestic situation.
It could be an intolerable boss.
It could be a demeaning job.

How do you make the decision to, get unstuck?

How do you find the strength to want something better?

How did I coach this situation?

This is the major benefit of, life coaching, the ability of the, life coach, to see the frame.

You see you can’t see the frame when you are the picture!

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Coaching to Get Unstuck

I knew that one of the reasons that my coachee was thinking of going back, was because she still loved her, abusive relationship. She was trying to get someone else to agree with her.
So I asked her “Do you still love this man?” And she said yes.
Then I allowed her to become aware of what her brain was doing. It was, stuck, in repeat.
I told her that because she still loved this man, she is using the situation of her sister’s lack as the reason to return.
I asked her “Do you think your sister would want you to go back to that situation and maybe end up dead”? She said “no.”
I said think about it. What exactly are you taking from your sister? Space. Space doesn’t cost them anything.
I asked her if she had any money?
She said “yes.” So I said, use that money to buy food for you and your daughter so you can feel better about being a charity case.
.
After we got past the, negative emotions, we were then able to plan for the future to , get unstuck.

You can’t plan and have hope when you are busy wallowing in, negative energy, and self-pity of, being stuck.

I asked her about job prospects and she told me she had an interview scheduled for the next day.
That my friends is the First secret to, get unstuck.

1: Hope and Faith are important to getting unstuck 

Faith, that God can make a way out of no way.

Faith, that even though you can’t see the entire stairway you know that the stairs are there.

The message of, faith, in this story is that you can’t think that God intended for you to live in an, abusive relationship,  being dependent on an abusive man for your survival. You have to be able to get out of the valley, get unstuck, and see the light of the mountain top. You have to know in your heart that you were meant to be more. You have to want more for your children.

Once you find that, positive energy, things will begin to open up. Opportunities will come your way, God will open doors shut by the devil and your negative emotions.

My coachee got the job we are moving in the direction to, get unstuck.
She now lives in Atlanta and she is happy!
The devil is a liar, don’t let him convince you that you are, stuck.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

2: Another way to get unstuck is to move the energy around.

The universe is made up of energy. We are a bundle of energy.
When you have, stuck, energy it causes disease.
So you have to force yourself to get off the couch, you have to do something, anything.
Do it until you feel like doing it. Do the things you don’t feel like doing until you feel like doing it!

Another client of mine got fired from his job so he sat around all day with his hurt feelings.
Blaming his boss and all his friends who did not support him.

You have to get over disappointment and hurt so you can get on with it.
Don’t let tragedy destroy you and keep you, stuck.
Don’t stop, continue to stay busy.
Continue to work your plan take small steps if you can’t take big steps
Automatic negative thoughts don’t take any effort on your part they come naturally like weeds in your garden.
But if you want to grow roses or orchids in your garden it takes special effort and a process.

Similarly, being stuck,  on something someone did to you is natural.
Feeling angry when your kids are ungrateful for the sacrifices you made for them is natural.
Being fired after working at your job for 10 years, never taking time off for your kid’s soccer matches or dance recitals is natural.
Feeling vengeful at the betrayal of your spouse is natural.

It is natural to be angry, hurt, disappointed, vengeful; but it is important not to stay there.

It is important to, get unstuck, remove , negative emotions. You have to get over them and move on.

3: Seek the council of others when you feel Stuck

What my friend on LinkedIn did was good. She contacted a, life coach. She received council and got a fresh perspective.
Even if she not heed my advice, she still moved the energy by doing something.

One way to do this is to memorize and recite the, serenity prayer, several times per day

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

One of the first things they taught us in coaching school is that you can’t coach someone that is not in front of you. Why was this important? Because most coachees will come into the coaching conversation complaining that their life is a mess because of the actions of someone else. The only person that you can change is yourself. You have no control over the behavior of anyone other than yourself.

4: Another way is to find peace with the situation if you can’t or won’t move right now.

I remember a sermon I heard from my first Pastor. He said whenever he felt like complaining about his wife he would pray and ask God to change him!

So for example if you are, stuck, in order to, get unstuck, you have to become aware of your thoughts. Change the way you look at the bad things he or she does. If he or she talks to you with disrespect. You can tell yourself it is not personal, that he or she speaks to everyone like that because he doesn’t know any better.

If he only talks to you with disrespect you can tell yourself that he doesn’t know you and let his words not penetrate your consciousness. He can talk but you do not hear or transfer the words. It becomes just noise.

This is a simple example but it works to, get unstuck. This is also called the Law of Allowing. It especially works in intimate relationships.
When you stop resisting and allow your partner the freedom to self-express, you open up the path towards healing the brokenness and allow the relationship to become healthy.

Concentrate only on what you are doing and saying. Stop reacting to stimuli and watch what happens.

5: Another technique is to notice when you are stuck and distract yourself

  • Come back to the problem later
  • Write out options and solutions
  • Write out the worrying situation
  • Write what you can do about it
  • Write what you cannot control about it.

6: Most importantly are your thoughts. Whether you are stuck or not, your thinking makes it so.

The thoughts that matter most are your self-thoughts.
It is never the situation that causes you to be, stuck, but your thoughts and feelings about the situation that makes you feel stuck.

Your thoughts influence your emotions, so to, get unstuck, think differently, and you will feel differently.

Sometimes, how you think someone should respond to you, blocks your blessings. If you move yourself and your ego out of the way.
Then maybe God can give you what he has in store for you.

Look at the bible story of Naaman. Naaman was angry because the profit did not come out and greet him and bow down to him when he came to him to heal his leprosy. Instead the profit Elisha sent a messenger out to tell Naaman to go wash himself in the river Jordon seven times and he will be restored. . Naaman went away angry because he felt disrespected. But he was smart enough to accept council from one of his servants. The servant told him he had nothing to loose by following the instructions of the profit. The servant was able to see the frame around the picture. Naaman could not. He could only see the situation that was making him mad. He decided to follow the profit’s instructions.
He went and dipped himself in the river Jordon seven times and he came out perfect and clean!.

Naaman almost missed his blessing by reacting to what he considered disrespect.

Some of you are, stuck, because of poisonous thinking.
Your thoughts can poison your spirit, and then you never see positive only negative.

As Neapolitan Hill said

As a man thinking so is he.

Shakespeare puts it another way

“Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”

7: You have to know yourself to grow yourself

You have to know where your pattern started.
You have to make the connection between your old story and your current circumstances

Eg. If your mother gave you up for adoption and your feeling of abandonment are keeping you stuck in Low self-esteem,
you should become aware that your past has nothing to do with your future.

You know better, that you are not your mom and she had her reasons.
The deeper truth is that you are responsible for your life and not what someone did to you.
You have to shift and take responsibility, you have to know that you keep getting into these situations because of your lack of self-esteem or because of your need for security.
Awareness is key. Once again, a coach can help if you can look at your patterns objectively.

What are you blaming?
What is your pattern? What is the evidence of your pattern?

I had a coaching client who had 3 failed marriages where the men stole from her.
We had to find her pattern and why she kept attracting and falling in love with the same type of man.

We discovered that she loved how her dad took care of her mom and paid all the bills, so she kept looking for that trait in a man.
She ended up getting the opposite.

Use your negative energy to get unstuck

Did you know that nothing exists without its opposite?
You can’t know light without knowing darkness.
In order to know if something is good you first have to experience bad!

She had to learn to create a new pattern.
She had to go inside and use her feminine power of intuition to pick a mate.
She had to listen to her inner desire and not the outer desire for material pleasures.
When she did that she shifted her pattern and created a new one.
Now she is in the best relationship of her life.

She tells me that she has touched the moon and it feels so good!

To read about my personal journey of getting Unstuck, pick up a copy of my book
” Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
Adobe Photoshop PDF

Out of the Snares

Additional Resources

How to Heal Your Brokenness

How to be Happy with Less

 

 

How to Play to Win with the Cards you are Dealt in Life

play to win the game of life

We should, play to win. I wrote the book “Out of the Snares, a story of Hope and Encouragement” with the intention of drawing, life lessons, from various aspects of my Life and how I, played to win.  For example the first life event that I introduced in my book is as a victim of childhood, sexual abuse, and being born into, poverty.

The, life lesson, I share here is that of the, victim mentality.

You don’t have to be a, victim, in life; instead become a player.

 

Just like in the game of blackjack, if the dealer is showing a picture card and you only have small cards, you don’t chuck your hand in and say there’s no way that I can win.
You must, play to win. All you need is the intention to win and guess what, your hand is going to get better.

Quitters Never Win and Winners Never Quit

 

Here is a short excerpt from my book:

Out of the Snares a story of hope and encouragement

Intro How to Play to Win – My story

I was born into a family with nothing, my mother and grandmother were both domestic servants. My dad was in Teachers College and did not know his real father. He lived with his mom and stepfather who was an alcoholic. In 1959 Guyana was a British colony of England.
Just like England colonized India and took all the wealth out of India, in a similar way England took all of Guyana’s resources out of the country.
Most of the Blacks and Indians were living in, poverty. My mom and grandmother worked for white English folk.

As a child I was always fed and had clothes and shoes to wear. My mom and grandmother both made our clothes.
So, it was understandable that I would be drawn to my godfather, who was a wealthy man with several houses, several cars and a corner shop filled with snacks and chocolate bars. Mr. Clark as I will call him took a liking to me beyond that of a Godfather and treated me like his grandchild.

I spent a lot of time at his house. He took me out with his family every weekend and really showered me with things.
He gave me food, gold chains and gold bracelets, he was also a goldsmith. I ended up sleeping over at his house several times per week and playing with his grandchildren. He used to like to bounce me on his knee with his legs massaging my private parts.

One day my memory recalls, I was about five years old, he braced me up against the wall and caressed my body. As I got older the, sexual abuse, became more intimate.
He would rub my legs whenever I was close. His favorite was the feeling me up in the front seat of his car while driving me to school.

His hand would be under my skirt fingering my private parts. I was sure that people in other cars could see this, sexual abuse, but he said they could not.
This, childhood sexual abuse,  continued for several years until one day he took me behind his shop and took my virginity with his fingers.

I didn’t tell anyone I’m not sure why. I do remember thinking that I loved him so much and wanted to die before he did.

Mr. Clark started getting a reputation for liking little girls and my dad asked me one day if Mr. Clark ever, sexual abused, me, I lied and said he had not.

I’m going to skip a couple of paragraphs, I don’t want to get into the nitty-gritty details here.
I’m going to read to you now my conclusion of this chapter.

Play to Win by collapsing your consciousness

How did I, play to win? Looking back, if I were to collapse my consciousness and become the observer in this experience, I would say that at some subconscious level I knew what we were doing was wrong. I knew that I was being, sexually abused.
I’m not sure why I chose to keep it a secret.

Research shows that children of, childhood sexual abuse, never tell, they become ashamed and feel that they are to blame. I know I have always felt shamed. It took me a very, very, long time to share my story. Writing this book was my way of coming into the light and putting the devil on notice that I will no longer let guilt and shame be a part of my life.

That was my introduction to my book.
Pick up a copy to read the full story.

Playing to Win Using CANI

I have, played to win,  the, sexual abuse, card and, poverty, by concentrating on, CANI. Constant and Never Ending Improvement.
They say that the secret to happiness is always moving towards a goal and that is how I, play to win.

It is wonderful that we’re meeting today in a library because I have always been a reader.
Reading books is how you, play to win!

Tony Robbins is now a billionaire because he made himself read 700 books per year and those books taught him everything he knows.
Pat Riley of the Miami Heat said

“If you’re not growing, you are dying”

Play to win using vibrational frequency

The second way I have, played to win, with the cards I have been dealt was to become conscious of my vibrational frequency.
I learned that later in life before I wrote my first book
“Becoming Conscious, my awakening”

I started understanding my vibrations. You see whenever somebody does something to us, we feel bad and what happens when we feel bad?
We attract more of the same. We always say bad things comes in three’s, that is because you are attracting them to you.
So when you’re in a funk you have to find some way to make yourself feel better, and one of the ways I do that is to always live in gratitude.
Because regardless of what’s going on in your life, there’s always something that you can be grateful for. Breath, sight, food in your fridge, etc.
So, find some gratitude and feel that energy release a positive force that reverses all the bad in your life!

Survivors of, sexual abuse, don’t owe anyone our stories. Here’s why I’m telling mine, MeToo
Click this link to hear a similar story
https://www.latimes.com/opinion/opinion-la/la-oe-warnke-metoo-sexual-violence-20171016-story.html

Genese Vertus Playing to Win 

In 2009 at the age of 33 Genese became CEO and founder of Passion Rescue Mission and reopened the Genecoit Vertus School of Excellence in Francois, Haiti providing tuition free education and serving over 225 students.

Genese How Have you played with the cards you were dealt in Life?
Winning has to less with the cards you have in your hand and more to do with how you play the game.

You have to, play to win.

How did I, play to win? I was born in one of the poorest countries in the Western Hemisphere, which is Haiti.

The goal is to win no matter what seven piece of dominoes or cards you have in your hand.

Kenny Rogers sings a song that says

“You have to know when to Hold and when to Fold”

Three simple things helped me play with my cards.
1. My faith in God
2. Pursuit of an education
3. A strong support system

I was fortunate enough to come to this great country to get an education and in 2009 I returned back to Haiti and reopened a school that my father built. We started with 189
students at that time currently we have 225 students getting a tuition-free education in one of the poorest, mountainous, villages in Haiti, which is Francois Haiti. We provide meals, we provide school supplies we provide uniforms and we have 12 teachers that are employed.

I have a waiting list of over 300 students wanting to get into that school right now; so it’s not enough To, play to win, we must give back. Once you get to where you need to be, you need to
reach back and help your people.
If you need information on making a donation
Please visit www.passionrescuemission.org </a

Jenny Wang Playing to Win 

Jenny is passionate about helping people improve Performance through holistic learning. She is a Professional Certified Coach and a Senior Learning and Program Manager at Nutranext, which is the healthiest employer in the US. Jenny is also a Certified Health Coach and co-author of Bringing Mindfulness to Your Workplace. Jenny and I worked together at Office Depot. She was my mentor at Toastmasters, then she became my Coachee as she worked on finding her purpose. I’m Sure she has found her purpose.

Jenny – I have had some good cards. But there are some cards we cannot choose. We cannot chose our Father we cannot choose our Mother or our relatives.
I was born and raised in China in a very traditional family. I don’t have trauma in my life, my parents are very lovely and educated; but there’s one thing that we never agreed on. When I got married I never thought I wanted children.

I don’t know how many of you are natural parents; but I was not one of them. When I was at 34 years old my father called me from China had a big argument with me. He wanted to have a grandchild. So, How did I, play to win? I chose to honor my father’s request because family is important to me.

Now eight years later, people ask me what was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life? And I say “To have a child” My son has brought me so much joy, so much wonderful
things to my life that I have never ever thought that I would have.

The second card everyone has, but they also cannot chose is
Passion and purpose.

The 3rd card we are dealt is  Health. The most important thing for everybody is good health. I decided to take the journey of being a, Yoga Instructor, and a Health Coach.

I learned we can become happy by changing how we move our bodies. Yoga, encourages us to think about our health.
No matter how busy you are, no matter how much outside achievement you have, by the end of the day you have to take time for yourself.

I hope you enjoyed this presentation both audio and written. Now I need something from you.
Support Passion Rescue Mission by making a donation.
Subscribe to this podcast and leave a review. And don’t forget about sharing this podcast. I am sure you know at least one person who could benefit from the information shared here today.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/transform-your-mind-coach/id1144973094?mt=2

So click the link and share! I will be most grateful.

If you have a product and would like to get your message out there to thousands on the radio and on my podcast
Check put my sponsor page
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Additional Resources

 

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-win-at-the-game-of-life/

 

Get Rapid Results- Eat That Frog

eat that frog

As a Leader, You have the vision, you have identified where you are on the map. You have even written out your goals on paper, so now what?
Now you have to take action. You have to start to, eat that frog,  starting with the largest frogs.  Frogs, are the jobs that you wish you didn’t have to do. Tadpoles are the jobs you like to do!

As a start-up Entrepreneur for example, You need to lobby for Capital;
You need to build your team;
You need to launch your product or service.

If you Build it, they will Come!

How do you decide which is the ugliest and biggest, frog, to eat first?
Most entrepreneurs manage by crises.
The, frog, they eat first is the one that is on fire!

Here are 5 ways to strategically, eat that frog, starting with the ugliest one first!

  1. Eat that frog, the largest and ugliest frog first: this is usually marketing.
    Your company will rise or fall depending on your marketing strategy.
    Eat that frog, get your marketing message out. Marketing is the life blood of your organization.

What is your marketing budget?
What kind of money do you want to make?
Are you hoping to make $50,000 per year or $5,000,000 per year?
These are the questions that need to be answered before you, eat that frog.  Begin eating your marketing frog.
You need to set the table before you, eat that frog. How many plates do you need? Are you eating alone or will others be joining you? What are some of the sides that go well with marketing frog eating?

Eat your biggest and ugliest frog first

The ugliest and biggest, frog, is usually picking up the phone and start dialing. In the Pursuit of
Happyness movie which documents a real life event, Chris Gardner’s, frog,  was to make 200 calls per day. He, ate that frog,  daily until he was full as a millionaire!.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

2: Don’t stare at your, frogs, too long. Just, eat that frog, If it is a really ugly and unappetizing frog, just gulp it down with one big bite; don’t cut it up into little pieces.
For example, lets say you decide that today you are going to start your campaign to get funding for your new project. You go through your Rolodex and start calling Venture Capitalists. This frog taste bad; but you eat all of it. You, eat that frog, You don’t stop eating until you have called all the Venture Capitalists on your list.
If you decide for instance to only make 5 calls today and 5 tomorrow, guess what? Tomorrow you going to procrastinate because you hated eating the frogs from yesterday and your mind will gravitate to eating a pleasant tadpole!, Eat that frog,  at one sitting and get it out of the way!

3: Celebrate yourself. Pump your fist and pat yourself on the back after you, eat that frog.
You had the courage to do something hard; you did it!!

4: Record your Growth.
Remember when you were a child, your doctor would measure your growth and your weight every time you went to see him? He did this because how much you grew was an indication of how healthy you were.
In a similar way, how much you are growing as a Leader and how much your company grew within a certain period of time is an indication of the health of your company. Growth always depends on how you, eat that frog.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

Eat Your Personal Growth Frog

One of the, frogs, you as the Leader of your organization, team or self, MUST eat is the, frog, of Personal Growth. If you don’t, eat that frog, of personal growth, frog, then your company is guaranteed to become stunted and stop growing. Personal growth includes working with a, executive Coach to Helps you:

  • accomplish your vision for yourself or company,
  • to establish accountability,
  • to uncover blind spots,
  • to sound out new ideas and get feedback.
  • It involves reading self improvement books and attending seminars in your industry. As the CEO you are the lid! Your company rises or falls under your Leadership so, eat that frog, of personal growth.

5: Eat all your frogs, do not leave anything on your plate.
Let’s say you have 10 frogs on your plate. You, ate that frog, the  first two they were the largest and ugliest ones. You may be tempted to bypass or eliminate some of the others; but every one of the frogs you added to your plate had a specific purpose and is tied to a result. Throwing away your peas because you don’t like it, directly impacts the health of your organization. So, eat that frog, eat everything on your plate and your success will be guaranteed!

In Brian Tracy’s book “Eat that Frog” He lists the, rules of frog eating.

Set Goals

The first, rule of frog eating, is to define your largest, frogs, first.  The more clear you are about what you want and what you have to do to achieve it, the easier it is for you to overcome procrastination, eat that frog, and get on with the completion of the task.

The no. 1 way to deal with procrastination is to set goals.

Take a blank sheet of paper and write down your top 10 goals you want to achieve this year.

Clarity will give you the ability to know which, frogs, you must eat first to complete your goals.

80/20 Rule

Pareto principle “Small amount of your activities are leading to a huge amount of your results.

Take time to figure out what those things are and do them more often.

For example: If you have 10 things on the list. there is a high probability that 2 things will get you 80% of the success you want.

So it’s crucial to identify what are the 1-2 things you must do now. These things will lead to great majority of your success.

The largest frogs always make the biggest impact so,  eat that frog.

Oil Barrels

What we want to do is to have micro goals. Don’t overwhelm yourself, thinking you need to get your goals in just one big step.

This is not going to happen. If you think that, you will procrastinate.

On the other side, if you break down you big goal to tiny little steps and micro goals you can do amazing things.

I-Handle

We waste a lot of time to distract ourselves. Being distracted is the worst enemy of productivity.

Now for example: If you turn off your email notifications, you’ll probably increase your productivity by 10 % – daily.

You don’t want to start something, check an email and then start working again on your task.

That kind of multitasking is horrible for your productivity. If you’re doing that, you have to constantly get your momentum back, figuring out where you left off and it takes you forever to do that task.

It’s very important to do one thing at the time. Get in the habit of finishing things. You start it, you finish it.

If you have a habit of allowing yourself to be distracted, you must discipline yourself to single handle things. You’ll notice your productivity will go way up.

Additional Resources 

https://youtu.be/upTSpDSp15k

How to Consciously Plan Personal Growth

Growth Hacks, to Win the Internet Game

 

 

How to be Confident after a Divorce

Building true,  confidence, after the betrayal of a partner is a gradual process. How to be confident, after a, divorce, is a gradual process. No one is going to turn into a positive, self-confident, person overnight. But if you’re in need of a place to start, here are 6 tips on, how to be confident, after losing your man.

This week on Transform your Mind podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Confidence mentor Di Ridell. Di is going to talk to us today on the subject “7 Ways to get your, confidence, back after a, divorce, of death of a spouse.”

 

10 Tips on How to Build Confidence:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. I know from experience that this is a, self-confidence,  killer, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone younger. Remember that you’re only seeing the surface of their lives and looks, not the underlying reality. Focus instead on what’s important–your own strengths and goals.

2. Keep your limiting beliefs at bay.
Even the most successful people with healthy relationships have limiting beliefs about themselves, but the biggest difference is that they choose to focus on their strengths and possibilities instead of their limits.

3. Live in a positive reality.
Don’t say anything about yourself that you don’t want to become a reality. Positive thoughts and words alone won’t make you a more, confident, person, but, confident, people do think a lot of positive things about themselves. Remind yourself of what you’re capable of and what you’ve already accomplished.

4. Don’t mask it.
Self-confidence, isn’t the impression you give others; but how you feel about yourself. It’s all about who you are, where you are, and where you want to be in your own life and relationships.

5. Change what you can.
Confident, people know they cannot change the past, but they can change the future. They make daily choices that lead them toward the future they want to live out.

6. Be fully committed.
Be fully committed to doing whatever you can to build your success every single day, accepting full responsibility for your life. If it gets uncomfortable, you’re probably on the right track! Don’t procrastinate, do what it takes without agonizing or drama.

7. Practice Self Love

8. Take action to get back on the horse. Don’t isolate yourself 

9. Have a Level 5 Friend to share your darkest thoughts

10. Complete yourself and not wait for someone to complete you

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

The nature of confidence

You should not allow your, confidence, to be dictated by someone else’s feelings in any facet of your daily life. Your feelings are just as valid as theirs, and you should never allow someone else to sink yours like an anchor, just because you have been through the, divorce, experience.

Your behavior should not be driven by the emotions of anyone, especially your ex-spouse.  They may attempt to reenter the picture for whatever reason, and while that reason may be valid and may need to be dealt with, there is no reason you should allow their thoughts and their feelings to bring you down or shatter any progress you have made in rebuilding your confidence.

You cannot and should not allow yourself to be manipulated in this way. If you sense that the conversation is headed in a direction that you are not comfortable with, it is imperative that you exercise some, self-love, and remove yourself from any narrative that would damage your post-divorce recovery process.

You need to be able to believe in your ability to rebuild your life and move forward. After a, divorce, you may begin to question your ability to make life decisions, but do not let one setback color your perspective and prevent you from making these types of calls.

Whether it is through your job, your friends, your family, or a new relationship, you can make different aspects of your new life matter and move past the negativity of a dysfunctional and unhappy marriage. Your productivity in starting over and taking each step to a new future is something you should be proud of and should give you the, confidence, boost you need to take additional steps.

If you like this content, please subscribe to my iTunes podcast and leave a review. Thank you
Transform your Mind iTunes podcast

Additional Resources

How to Raise your Self-esteem by Erasing Self Doubt

 

How to Maintain a Long-Term Relationship

Maintaining long- term Relationships

 

When it comes to a, long-term relationship, with a partner or spouse, we can maintain the thrill of being in love, and deepen our feelings of passion and intimacy past the first year.  Statistics show that most, long-term relationships start out to fizzle after the first year.  So to maintain the, long-term relationship, dance you have to embrace, intimacy.

However, to do this means avoiding certain behaviors, habits, and traps that, long-term relationships,  commonly fall into the longer they stay together. Staying in, love, means taking the hard road and differentiating from negative past influences. It means challenging our own defenses and facing our, often subconscious, fears about intimacy.

Fighting for a, long-term relationship, means being stubborn about not getting in our own way of staying close to someone else.

Today on Mindset Transformation Radio and podcast, we are continuing with our series on the The Alchemy of Desire – The, Long-Term Relationship, Dance.

My co -host for this series is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste Intimacy Coach and, I am a Mindset Coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “The Alchemy of Desire and Intimacy”

What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.

We all Desire to be in loving fulfilling, long-term relationships, with our partners, our children, our friends and co-workers. We desire to have successful careers, some of us desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy, and today we are going to touch on the desire for flow in our, long-term relationship, and not ebb.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

 

The Dance of Intimacy

Anyone in a, long-term relationship, knows the, relationship, dance well. It took me a while to understand this dance of, intimacy. I walked out of my first marriage at age 21 declaring boldly “I am no longer in love with my husband and I refuse to live in a loveless marriage at age 21.” After 4 marriages I now know that relationships EBB and FLOW and that we must work at, intimacy Erotic love, turns into, Agape love. Passion and desire EBB and FLOW.

In all my, long-term relationships, fighting and then having, make up sex, was usually the shock than rejuvenated the, relationship.

In the beginning of anything there is more energy just as electrify is more powerful at the source, feelings are more powerful when they are new.

As feelings change and familiarity sets in the, intimacy, dance begins. Just as you have to practice the waltz on the dance floor, in a similar way you must practice your, long-term relationship, dance in the bedroom.

It is important to understand why you and your partner connected in the first place and why you disconnected.

Since all relationships begin within, the scenery out there is the scenery in here.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

You have to love yourself first in a long-term relationship

You can’t give away what you don’t have. You have to be, love, before you can give away, love. So the first step when you become aware of the, EBB and Flow, in your relationship is to take an inventory of  your, self love.

In our first episode I introduced the book The Alchemy of Desire. In this book the lovers were passionate and couldn’t keep their hands off each other, then life happened and, intimacy, veined.

Every, long-term relationship, faces this junction of lack of, desire.  Once, long-term relationships, become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again. To the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy  if a, long-term relationship, is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity attention and nurture of earlier times is essential.

Relationship Advice How to Water your Long-term relationship

Here is some, relationship advice, In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and sunlight if they are to thrive.

We water our, long-term relationships, by showing interest in our partners. We shine light on our, relationships, by smiling and being genuinely happy to see our partners.

I was at a stand-up comedy show with Mike Epps a few years back and he made a joke about how his wife would meet him at the door with a beer and loving embrace when they were first married, and now she shrugs and says oh it’s you!

I am genuinely happy to see my husband walk through the door and when he calls me during the day. I let him know that I appreciate him thinking about me.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
https://tunein.com/podcasts/Motivational/Transform-your-Mind-p1102799/TuneIn Radio

The marriage relationship is an important piece of the, long term relationship, dance

Myrna – Margo what is your take on the, long-term relationship, dance? Personally you have mentioned several times that your, long-term relationships, end after 10 years. What does the dance look like to you?

Margo – I don’t know why but my, long term relationships, always seem to last only 10 years.  The men leave me.

Myrna – Looking back can you see the point when the, long-term relationship, ebb resulted in a break? How can anyone listening understand  that ebb into a flow?

Myrna – What are some tips to keep Desire flowing instead of ebbing?

  • spend quality time together
  • be open to new experiences – if your partner likes to do something be open to new
  • show your love, don’t hold back
  • keep your identity as an individual
  • don’t be defensive in communication, be open in communication
  • be generous, give as you would want to receive

Understand that there is Eff and Flow in all Long-term relationships

If you find yourself in, Ebb and flow, should you panic or understand that is the flow of life that what goes up must come down.

It is fact that whenever you lean in to a relationship the other person leans out.  That is the make up of, long-term relationships, there is, ebb and flow.

Have you been dealt some bad cards in life? Understand Ebb and flow of life 

Then I invite you to an afternoon of learning and inspiration on “How to deal with the cards you have been dealt in Life”
This event will be at the Main Broward Library at 100 South Andrews Ave , 6 th floor, Fort Lauderdale, FL
on Saturday May 12 from 2.00 to 4.30 pm
Come out and be a part of our studio audience.
The first 5 guests will get a FREE autographed copy of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
This is a book signing and a live talk radio show airing locally on WDJY 99.1 FM Metro Atlanta
If you need more information, email me at info@myhelps.us

Additional Resources

5 Mindset Shifts For Couples to Have Fantastic Relationships

Words of Encouragement for every Soul

subconscious mind reprogramming

 

Your, soul, is the real you underneath the roles, possessions, status and appearance. The real you knows your gifts, fears, your desires and your pain that keep you feeling held back. It knows the answers to life’s big questions and will show you exactly where you’re standing, where you want to go and even how to get there.

90 Days of Encouraging words for the listening soul. This week on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview, soul music, songwriter Darryn Zewalk. Darryn is a chart-topping singer-songwriter and pianist who has successfully released three independent, soul music, projects. He has dedicated himself to utilizing, soul music, and technology as tools for spreading the gospel message to the whole world.

Through original Christ-centered daily posts that offer, encouragement, for the listening, soul, more than 200,000 highly engaged social media followers, Darryn has worked tirelessly to win, souls, online for the Lord. After recognizing how much impact he was having in the lives of others, Darryn decided to compile his unique posts into several volumes of devotional books titled featuring some of his most impactful social media encouragements to date. He is a graduate of Oklahoma Baptist University, and the music minister at Mount Olive Baptist Church in Sapulpa, Oklahoma.

 

In this interview, Darryn answers the following questions:

1)What is 90 Days of Encouragement?
2) What Inspired him to write this book and how he thinks it can help people for 90 days?
3) What is the real meaning of, Encouragement, for the Listening, soul?
4) How long he has been playing and writing music.
5) What inspires him to write and how his, soul music,  to life.

Introducing yourself to your soul

This is the space I am currently in listening to my, soul, meeting my, soul. Your, soul, is the non physical part of you that is doing the experiencing. It is your connection to the divine. It is the computer where every moment is recorded; in this life and past lives!

We have to learn to listen to our, soul! It speaks to us through hunches, intuition, music, nature, and our emotions.

This article from Collective evolution gives 4 other ways to listen to your soul.

 

4 ways to listen to your soul to improve your manifesting ability

In order to know where you are at, at this point in your life, you need to be able to ask yourself the big questions like:

  • “Am I happy with my current routine?”
  • “What makes me happy and what doesn’t?”
  • “Who am I?”
  • “How am I sabotaging my success?”
  • “Am I leading a life that I like or am I trying to please someone else?” and trust me, this can feel like a terrifying experience.

In fact, if asking yourself these questions scares you in anyway, it means you’re now venturing into uncharted waters! Feeling fear in new territory is a normal part of being human so don’t run from it. Or run like hell from it but one day, I promise you’ll be back here skirting the edge of the new land wanting to know the answers.

If you’re ready to plot your “A” that means you’re ready to start listening to your, soul. Your, soul, is the real you underneath the roles, possessions, status and appearance. The real you knows your gifts, fears, your desires and your pain that keep you feeling held back. It knows the answers to life’s big questions and will show you exactly where you’re standing, where you want to go and even how to get there.

“How to listen to your inner voice”

Are You Listening? How to Access Your Inner Voice for Guidance

You must learn to trust yourself. You must learn to take time to listen to your emotions and your feelings as to what makes you happy or unhappy, as to what feels right or wrong. You must absolutely trust that what is right for you is the right thing to do. You must never compromise on what your inner voice tells you to do. You must never go against what you feel to be correct. You must develop the habit of listening to yourself and then acting on the guidance you receive.

When you listen to yourself and act on what you hear inside, you are setting out on the road to personal greatness.

 

If you find this content informative you can follow Coach Myrna @

Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/MyhelpsInc/
Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/myhelps/
Twitter @ https://twitter.com/myrna_morris
web: www.myrnayounghelps.com

You can also subscribe to this podcast on iTunes
Transform Your mind with Coach Myrna itunes

Additional Resources

How to Accelerate Your Soul Journey: Clear these Money Blocks

How to, Find your Soulmate

 

What Are You Patiently Waiting on Almighty God For?

patiently waiting on God

Are you praying and, patiently waiting, on, God, to answer your prayers? Be aware of why you want this thing.  Sometimes we are not ready to receive that what which we ask for and that is why the, almighty God, does not answer our, prayers, when we ask.

Patiently waiting? Be careful what you wish for.


It is important to understand or become conscious of why you want the things or certain people to come into your life. If you are, patiently waiting, and asking, God, for a child, be conscious of why you want a child. Is it because you want someone to love you or you want something to love? A puppy can satisfy that need.

If you are, waiting patiently, on,  God, for a spouse, is it because you want to share your life and be important to someone, or is it because you need help with your bills? Awareness is the key to understanding your desires.

When what you want does not show up, what do you do?
Do you become depressed and lose faith in God?

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Law of Detachment and patiently waiting

In the first chapter of my book “Out Of The Snares”, I share with you my journey to adopting my twin girls. I write about where the desire originated from. I share how I responded to the resistance offered up by the Universe and people at the Department of Children’s and Families. I share with you how the Laws of Detachment worked for me.

The, Law of Detachment, works with, faith. Faith, that God will grant you the desires of your heart, so you give this desire to, God, and you let him work out the details. Detachment, helps you to patiently wait for God.  You are not detaching from the outcome; but from the journey. You are saying to yourself, I am patiently waiting, on God.  I have , faith, that I will have the desires of my heart. I will become a mother.  If I don’t birth a child, God, will send me an adopted child.  That is, detachment, from the journey.  You don’t care about the path that, God, uses to grant you your desire, only that in the end, you have a child.

If a desire comes from your true self
It has within it the power to manifest.

For example: let’s say that you are going on a road trip to Florida from California. Your GPS navigational system can take you, the fastest way, the longest scenic way, or the cheapest way to avoid tolls. Regardless, of the route you take, you will be confident that route will take you to Florida.
In a similar way, you have to be confident in, God, that all roads will lead you to your destination. So, be prepared to, wait patiently, on God and don’t become frustrated and give up.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

The trick is to detach yourself from all the craziness and petty people trying to take from you what, God, has purposed for you to have. You must also remember that, God’s time, usually does not coincide with your time, so learn to, wait patiently,  and get yourself ready.

Get Yourself ready while patiently waiting on God

If you are asking, God, for a promotion, learn the skills necessary for this new job.
If you are asking, God, for a child, learn how to be the best parent ever, read parenting books.
If you are asking, God, for a spouse, learn how to have effective relationships.
If you need to lose weight, work on it. Be the best that you can be and when, God, feels you are ready, he will give you the victory, because you serve an, Almighty God, who is able to do all things.

Two things about Patiently Waiting on God

#1: Waiting on, God’s, plans requires patience and, faith.

It’s in the, patiently waiting,  that our, faith, is forged in the fires of trials. In the waiting, we discover that, God’s, in charge and we’re nothing on our own.

#2: Waiting is hard, but the wait has a purpose

God is never accidental. Everything he does has a purpose.

Sometimes the wait is for, God, to align other pieces of the plan. Sometimes the wait is for, God, to align the pieces of our own heart.

“Out of the Snares” Now Available on Amazon in eBook format.
Download your copy today!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE
Print version available in September.

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/principle-2-the-events-in-your-life-whether-good-or-bad-work-together-for-good/

https://blog.myhelps.us/does-god-answer-prayer/

 

How does Infidelity Affect Intimacy In Marriages

infidelity in marriages

 

What happens when there is, infidelity, in your marriage? Statistics show that as much of 70% of men and women cheat on their spouses and committed partners.

Today on WDJY 99.1 FM straight talk radio our topic is “How does, Infidelity, affect Intimacy and Desire for our Partner ” We all Desire to be in loving fulfilling, relationships, with our partners, our children, our friends and co-workers. We desire to have successful careers, some of us desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy, and today we are going to touch on our desire for our partners to be faithful to their commitment to us.

Introduction to Infidelity in Marriages

My co -host for this episode is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste Intimacy Coach and, I am a Mindset Coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “How does, Infidelity, affect Intimacy and Desire for our partner”

What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.

The dictionary calls Alchemy a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination.

I will tell you from personal experience that there is nothing that transforms an intimate relationship into something magical, like the surety that your partner will not break his vows or commitment to you, that he or she loves you unconditionally and would not look at another. But how do we, survive infidelity, when it happens?

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

How to Survive Infidelity

Not too many of us can walk in that space, being able to swear that our partners would not cheat on us.

In a previous blog, we talked about how to manifest the desires of your heart. The first step is knowing what you want. The second step is adding emotions to it.

In our second blog on the topic of, infidelity,  we talked on how to use the energy of desire to create something magical.

In our 3 blog we Used the Power of Attention to light our desires afire after, infidelity.

If you missed those 3 episodes, please download on then on iTunes, Sticher or TuneIn podcast.

Today we want to turn up the heat another notch as we talk about the controversial subject of, infidelity, and how it changes Intimacy.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Relationship Coaching

Margo is an, Intimacy coach, with One Taste. So let’s start off our discussion today by having her weigh in on the conversation.

Illustrations of an intense desire for intimacy

UK Artist Ben Newman brings a different kind of taste to satirical art. This is sultry and saucy at the same time.
His boldness in combining sexy female characters with robots present in the fantasy world is amazing with an intense desire for intimacy.

The solution to infidelity is not always divorce 

Myrna – Margo as an, intimacy coach, how has your clients dealt with, infidelity?

Believe it or not, most people decide to stay in their marriages after, infidelity. The important thing is to address the issues that might have lead to the, infidelity, and get the necessary help to recover.

Infidelity in marriages, Divorce isn’t always the solution, particularly when the unfaithful spouse is remorseful and devoted to changing. Here are some things you need to know if you are dealing with the fallout of, infidelity, in your marriage.

  • Betrayal is in the eye of the beholder.
  • Infidelity is not a marital deal breaker
  • Most affairs end – a man rarely leaves his wife for the other woman
  • You are not alone
  • It helps to get help

How have you dealt with, infidelity?

I have dealt with, infidelity, several times in my life. I have dealt with, infidelity in marriage, and, infidelity, in, love relationships.

When I was younger and more emotional I would leave immediately. As I matured I seek to understand first and love unconditionally.

Some therapists believe that, infidelity, destroys the fabric of a, relationship, which cannot be repaired. These therapists declare, marriages, dead on arrival but, I believe it is up the the individuals.

What happens when Desire goes looking somewhere else?

History will show that men don’t need a reason to cheat on their partner. But for this discussion we will look at the Lack of Desire as the reason for the, infidelity.

What can we do when desire dries up and we no longer feel the spark for our partners?

Men like uncertainty, they like variety. Most men who cheat don’t want to leave home. They love their spouse and like the security of home but they seek adventure.

I was just reading the unauthorized biography of Angelina Jolie    and how his, infidelity, had consequences he did not anticipate. John Voight was tempted by great sex and cheated on her mother who promptly left him when Angelina was 6 months old. John Voight had no interest in leaving his wife and 2 kids; but the lure of exciting sex was something he could not pass up. That dalliance had far reaching consequences for his children and himself. He would be seeking a family for decades to come.

But men don’t have to go outside the home for exciting sex. As women we could bring the excitement and adventure to our bedroom. We could bring the feeling of having an affair to our bedroom.

Whatever you are doing now, we could do something different. If you always make love with all your clothes on, in the bed with the lights out; then start making love on the couch, fully clothed, with all the lights on!

Become the mistress. Meet in a hotel, set up dates, role play and dress up, send sexually explicit text messages.

I remember a friend of mine who divorced her husband because she found a video his mistress sent to him. That is how the women are stealing our men, they excite them.

What happens when women go looking for love

Okay, enough of the men having unmet needs and looking for excitement in the bedroom. What about our unmet needs?
Women have unmet need as well and are catching up to men as they too are looking outside the home for fulfillment of their desires.

Myrna – Margo, how can women communicate their unmet desires to their partners?

Margo – Before women go looking for love in all the wrong places, they should learn to become the mistress and turn up the marital sex. They can do this by role playing and other sex games.

How do we as women deal with infidelity of spouse or partners?

There are several schools of thought about this topic.
If you want things to change, you have to change.
Maybe you are a nag, maybe you don’t like sex, maybe you take no pride in your appearance, maybe you have trust issues, maybe you are boring.
You have to know yourself to grow yourself.

Ask yourself what have I invested into this relationship? Are you a taker or do you contribute to the peace and happiness of your man?

I remember Jennifer Gardner saying after she experienced the, infidelity, from Ben Afflec . She determined that it was not Ben Afflec’s role to make her happy. He cheated on her with the nanny. She was taking stock in what she brought to the table and understood it was not someone’s else role to make her happy. Happiness comes from our true self.
You can’t give away what you don’t have.

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Additional Resources

How to Flow with Desire

 

How to Win at the Game of Life

 

How do you win at the, game of life? Today I am going to teach on How to be a Winner!!
Most of us were glued to the television for the Olympic games to see the athletes try to win Gold.  But how do these same athletes win, the game of life.
Each and every one of these athletes came to win Gold!

Did you see the interview with Shakur Stevenson? This interview and the race where the Bahamian girl threw herself across the finish line to take the gold from Alison Felix were my most inspiring moments of the Olympics. In the interview with Shakur the NBC reporter asked him how he felt about winning a silver medal? The interview was going good until this question and then Shakur decided not to fake it anymore. He broke down crying saying

“I hate to loose, I wanted to win. The Silver medal is terrible.”

This is our first lesson on “Winning at the, Game of Life.”

Never Settle for Second Best!

In our Podcast today we are going to look::

* How to Be a Winner

* How to Think like a Winner

* How to Act like a Winner

 

We are going to look at winners like Russel Wilson of the Seattle Seahawks.
We are going to look at Mike Tyson and Buster Douglas.
We are going to look at Steve Jobs.

Show notes:
Inspiration story and tip of the week.
Winning at the, Game of Life, some examples.
Acceleration – How God and a Coach can “Accelerate” You
To become a winner you need to be self motivated and need the help of a Life Coach.
Someone to push you when you lack motivation, someone to keep you accountable, someone to help you with the game plan.

The enemy keeps you busy with trivial pursuits to keep you from achieving your goals and purpose.

Here are 3 Principles to Winning at the Game of Life:

1> Physiologically – Is your body in a peak state? Are you prepared physically?

2> Psychologically – Do you have the mental capacity to win? Do you believe you can?

3> Soulfully – Do you believe it is your purpose? Have you tapped into the wisdom of your soul?

For the next 30 days, I will give FREE copies of my book
“Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
Just pay for shipping
Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” is jammed packed with stories of my victories and how
“I won at, the game of Life.”
*From Escaping Poverty and child abuse in my native country,
*to winning as a business person as the top female Limousine operator in Toronto, Canada,
*to winning my USA citizenship,
*to winning twin girls by adoption,
*to winning in Love and relationships!!

Lots and Lots of victories!!.

So download your copy now by clicking the Amazon link below:

https://www.amazon.com/Out-Snares-story-hope-encouragement-ebook/dp/B013C71KHE/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1472228401&sr=8-2&keywords=out+of+the+snares

Or contact me on the web for a FREE hard copy. You only pay shipping
https://myhelps.us/contact-us/
Adobe Photoshop PDF