A New Way Of Life After Oil and Soil Crises

May 16, 2022May 16, 2022

A New Way Of Life After Oil and Soil Crises

In his book A new way of life, Author Samy Barnat talks about life after crises. He discusses the, climate change crisis, water crisis, economics crisis, war crisis, pandemic crisis and , oil degradation crisis.

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Bio:

Samy Barnat is the author of A New Way of Life: Be the Solution to the Crises we Face: Increasing Deaths from Climate Change, Lack of Water and Food, Economic Crises, Fake Democracy, Risk of War, and Future Pandemics.

Samy Barnat is an independent multidisciplinary researcher in human sciences. His multi-disciplinary background (psychology, politics, economics, philosophy) gives him a rare global vision that many experts lack. His independent research incorporates outside the box thinking. Both precious elements for finding global solutions to the global crises we face.

The soil fertility crisis

Samy: If you have the best, mindset, but your environment is toxic, and we have a toxic society, that’s kind of a big problem.

Is there a job for everybody?

It’s a simple question, you can have the best, mindset, possible but if the economy is structured in a way that there is not a job for everybody and we have little money, you’re going to be stressed. Or if you are constantly having anxiety of being fired. It’s also the way the environment is being destroyed, the, crises, is we are destroying our environment. Very few people know that, soil fertility, is a growing problem. The, soil, is being destroyed by the way we do agriculture now.

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Sadhguru save soil initiative

Myrna: Yeah, I have just become aware of #savesoil, Sadhguru is traveling 30,000 KLM to promote, save soil. I interviewed a member of his team a couple weeks ago. Yeah, we’re talking about food. We’re going to talk about your book, A New Way of Life, later on. How is politics and Philosophy connected?

Samy: Everything is kind of connected. That’s something I think we are all starting to realize that everything is kind of connected. Your mental health is connected to politics and economics, because if you don’t have enough money, you’re going to get stressed and if the environment is not fueling growth, you are going to be stressed.

If you are worried that your kids are not going to have a good future, because you can’t afford their education, you are going to be stressed. That is why politics and Philosophy are connected. It takes leaders like Sadhguru to increase awareness.

Myrna: I see what you mean, because the politicians are directing our future. Whether it’s health care, getting rid of student loans or price of oil. I thought you were saying that politicians, use psychology to get us to vote for them.

Samy: Absolutely, you’re totally right and in a very manipulative way.

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The personal development crisis

Myrna: I like what you said about having a, healthy mindset, is very important for, personal development. Personal development, is a big topic. I’m in the, personal development, space and the, mindset, space. The mind dictates everything. What we believe dictates our level of development, because most people don’t do the work to control their, mind. What is a healthy mindset? How does our, mindset, control anxiety and stress?

Samy: The idea is simple. It’s just we have, positive emotions. And it’s very important to understand this. I mean science it’s only about principles. When you study science, you study principles, it’s like the laws of nature and gravitation in physics. Our, emotions, have their own loads which were created by God.

You have, positive emotions, when your, desires, are realized. And you have, negative emotions, when your, desires, are not realized. So, for example, a baby cries because a, desire, of food is not realized. As an adult if you have an objective, to study and to pass an exam and you fail the exam, you have, negative emotions. You can find as many examples as you want; but the essence it’s about, desire. So, as a result, we have to be extremely careful what we, desire, because if we have impossible, desires, we suffer from anxiety and stress.

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Desire and our emotions

So first of all, we have to be careful what we, desire. We need to make sure we have, realistic desires, all the time, so many people don’t do that. It’s better to reduce your objective. So at least you will be in peace emotionally. You know what I mean? Because you don’t want to be suffering all the time. We should question everything in the light of this principle, ambition.

And deeper than that, it’s our personality, and that I think so many people need to hear this. So basically, our, personality, or what so many of us call our, personality. It’s kind of a, desire, which we were told.

So, for example, so many people, they have a, desire, to be the best and they think that’s who I am. I want to be the best. I’m the best, they have this, internal dialogue. It’s a program really, it’s an, unconscious program. And it was taught by their parents as a kind of a, life strategy. If you try to be the best, at least you can get the best job, the best partner etc.

The type A personality crisis

They don’t realize that a, type A personality, is actually the cause of their pain. If your, desires, are not realized, you have, negative emotion. So, if you try to always be the best, it’s just impossible. So, every time you’re going to feel like you’re not the best, you’re going to feel sadness, stress, anxiety. It’s kind of a, crises, of constant stress, and you don’t understand why. You don’t know where it comes from. It actually coming from what you call your, personality.

But it’s not your, personality. As a human being you are able to recreate yourself all the time, to adapt all the time. So, you should absolutely not cling on to an, unhealthy desire, which is to be the best. This is a, crises.

Myrna what you are doing is very helpful in the, personal development, space. It’s about, NLP, neuro linguistic programming, which is simply, reprogramming our mind. It simply reprogramming with new words, new desires, a new personality, etc. Like saying no, I’m not always the best, sometimes I’m weak, I’m not always clever, sometimes I am stupid.

Myrna: So basically, it’s about, reprogramming our mind with, affirmations.

Book A new Way Of Life solutions to the crises we face

A New Way of Life A solution to the crises we face

Myrna: Tell us about your book, A New Way of Life Be The Solution to the, Crises. Tell me what made you write the book? We face many, Crises. You talk about,

climate change crisis
lack of water crisis
economics crisis
war crisis
pandemic crisis
Soil degradation crisis

We have a lot of crises So, tell us what solutions you offer in your book?

Samy: Okay, so yeah, so, basically, I’ll start with what I think are the most urgent, crises, and then we can move on from there. So, the, soil degradation, crisis, it’s something we hear so little about in the media. It’s so important because the way we do agriculture is actually destroying the, soil. So, in the world you have a lot of places where this desertification has started.

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Soil desertification has started

So, the soil is becoming sand. It’s not very productive in terms of food, and that’s a big deal. A, crisis, will start to emerge in a more dramatic way. We are all going to be affected by that. We cannot just rely on our politicians to take care of these big issues.

We’ve seen it with, climate change, for example. They knew about, climate change, for 30 years, and they have done very little because of the lobbyists who put pressure on politicians and big corporations like Exxon. They don’t want to do anything about, climate change, because it was going to make them lose money.

The other, crisis, we need to worry about is the end of the end of, oil. Our life is based on, oil. Food is produced with, oil, agricultural machines need, oil. Everywhere in the world, more than 60% of the population were working as farmers. So that gives you an idea of society before, oil.

Oil, is everywhere, all the products, almost the job of everybody is completely relying on, oil. All the products are imported with, oil, for trucks, and boats from the other side of the world. And that includes food or whatever you sell, whatever your company’s selling, it’s relying on, oil, so when we go towards the end, it means it basically means the collapse of the economy.

The oil crisis

Myrna: I understand about the, soil, because they are depleting the nutrients of the, soil. And the soil is becoming sand. I don’t understand an, oil crisis, because, oil, is supposed to be limitless. Why are you saying that we’re going to run out of it?

Samy: So, you know, all resources are limited. I mean, half our planet is finite. It’s limited.

Myrna: Oil, is all over the place. All you got to do is dig. They just found, oil in Guyana. Apparently, you can go dig in your backyard and might find, oil.

Samy: Okay, so you can see the graph showing discoveries. The peak of discoveries was quite a long time ago. So, it means since that time, we discover every year less and less, oil. We still discover some, but the question is, is it going to be enough for the global economy? It’s a question of quantity.

Will oil be depleted in 30 years?

Myrna: Politicians are looking at ways to not use, oil. They’re looking at energy efficient ways. So that’s what they’re starting because maybe they know that maybe in 30 years or something, the, oil, will be depleted. But I personally think that we live in an abundant world, that everything that we need is right here, and it’s not limited.

Samy: Yeah, so the, oil crises, I’m speaking about, the data came from people working in BP, and Shell Exxon. They give me numbers about when we will reach the end of, oil. You can you can check this on internet because those reports are for free. But it gives us a rough estimation, the end of, oil, would be around 30 years around 2050. But what we should worry about is the end of, cheap oil, because even if we still have, oil, if it becomes too expensive then that it is the end and society collapses.

For example, we’ve seen now in Spain, it gives us a glimpse of the future. Because of the, war with Russia, the supply of oil in Europe is limited. Okay, so in Spain, what happened is that truck drivers, the oil increased so much that they could they couldn’t earn a living. They basically had more charges, compared to earnings, so they stopped working.

Myrna: it was happening in the US too. A lot of truck drivers protested at the Canadian border for same reason, gas prices too high. The diesel fuel is twice that of regular gas.

Solutions to the oil crisis

Samy: This gives us a glimpse into the future, the end of, cheap oil, will affect our lives. Oil, is the basis of modern society.

Myrna: Okay, all right. So that’s a good reason for people to get your book. So, do you offer solutions in your book? What was the reason you wrote the book, and what do you want people to walk away with after reading your book?

Samy: So basically, it’s about preparing your family. I’m saying the first thing you should worry about is your family. In France, there’s much more awareness on this topic and many people they have started to buy land. You need land because when society collapses it is going to be violent. When you don’t have food, people fight.

The second solution would be to have your local community prepare for the, oil crisis. So, it’s kind of the solution I’m giving in the book. So basically, what I’m saying is we need a new way of doing politics.

Conclusion

Myrna; All right, tell people where they can get your book so they can get your solutions to all these, crises.

Samy: So basically, if you go on https://samybarnat.com/ you will find links to all social media and the book, so you can you can just get there.

Myrna: Okay, all right. Okay. All right. So yes, and of course, the book is available on Amazon. So yeah, it’s me. It’s been we had a really good conversation and we covered a multitude of topics. I specifically love your take on why people are happy or unhappy. Thank you.

Additional Resources

Transform Your Mind With Alchemy

May 13, 2022

Do You See Giants or Grasshoppers

The men went out and explored the land for 40 days and came back with their report. The land is indeed flowing with, milk and honey, here is a sample of their crops, but we can’t take the land because the people living there are, giants, we are like, grasshoppers, next to them.

In the bible story of the, promised land, The lord said to Moses send your men to explore the land I am giving you. It is a land flowing with, milk and honey.

So, Moses sends out 12 men, all tribal leaders with these instructions Find out:

What kind of people live there? Are they strong or weak, few or many?
How do they live. Did they live in tents or in a fortified city with walls,
Is the soil fertile or poor are there many trees?

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The Spies saw giants

Two of the 12 men had a different report, they said the land is indeed rich, flowing with, milk and honey, and we can take the people, because the lord is with us and they will be helpless prey to us because they do not have the protection of God. Do not be afraid of them. They are not, giants.

This bible story illustrates fear of the unknown, the inability to take what the lord has already given you.

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Do you see yourself as a grasshopper or powerful like Gandhi

Do you see, giants, and feel like you are a, grasshopper, that will be crushed if you move forward with your goals and desires? What’s keeping you from your promised land or destiny?

Let’s look at, Gandhi. Gandhi, was a small frail man who looked like a grasshopper, the giant he faced was the British Empire and, colonialism. This small, gentle man, a Hindu who also studied other faiths, gave birth to the concept of non-violent resistance for social change. In his native India, Gandhi, was instrumental in ending, British colonialism, fighting the, caste system, and improving women’s rights.

The caste system explained,

The caste system, is deeply rooted in the Hinduism belief in karma and reincarnation.

Dating back more than 3,000 years, the, caste system, divides Hindus into four main categories – Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaishyas and the Shudras based on who they were in their past life, their karma, and what family line they come from. Many believe that the system originated from Brahma, the Hindu God of creation, believing that the Brahmins represent the eyes and mind of Brahma and are therefore often teachers and priests, the Kshatriyas represent his arms and are often warriors, the Vaishyas represent his legs and are often farmers or merchants, and the Shudras represent his feet and are often laborers.

Gandhi on Non violence

His unique non-violent approach would become a pivotal part of movements throughout the world, from the Civil Rights Movement in the U.S. to the fight against apartheid in South Africa. Did, Gandhi, feel like a, grasshopper? Did he see the British as a, giant? NO. He had no fear.

Go after your goals and desires, God has already given them to you.

Transform your Mind Stitcher

God has already given you your promised land

The lord told the people of Israel I have given you the, promised land, a land flowing with, milk and honey. He did not tell them they had to fight, giants, for it. God has already given you the victory, yet you see, giants, and don’t, go get it.

I remember reading Dwyane Wade’s autobiography and he said that he saw Michael Jordon at his first all-star game and Jordan told him, go get it, he didn’t know what he meant at the time, but later he realized he meant “go get the MVP. The MVP was already there waiting for him, God had already given it to him, all he had to do was, go get it.

Same with your dreams and goals God has already given it to you; you just have to, go get it. You are not a, grasshopper, no perceived, giants, can crush you. Remember if you are a believer, you have the protection of God on your side and the opposition will be helpless prey because they have no protection.

So become fearless and go get what God has already given you. There are no, giants, and you are not a, grasshopper but, strong and courageous.

GRASSHOPPER CHARACTERISTICS

Grasshoppers, are medium to large insects. Adult length is 1 to 7 centimetres, depending on the species. Like their relatives the ‘katydids’ and ‘crickets’, they have chewing mouthparts, two pairs of wings, one narrow and tough, the other wide and flexible, and long hind legs for jumping. They are different from these groups in having short antennae that do not reach very far back on their bodies.

Grasshoppers, usually have large eyes, and are colored to blend into their environment, usually a combination of brown, grey or green. In some species the males have bright colors on their wings that they use to attract females. A few species eat toxic plants, and keep the toxins in their bodies for protection. They are brightly colored to warn predators that they taste bad.

Conclusion

Nobody should want to be a, grasshopper, or call themselves a, grasshopper. It means that anyone can crush you. As a man thinketh so is he. If you see yourself as a grasshopper, then people will see you as such and proceed to step on you.

This is coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach. Until next time Namaste

May 9, 2022

Breaking Barriers On The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air

Daphne Maxwell Reid, was one of the Black women to work on network television as Aunt Viv on the popular sitcom, Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Reid says that they were a family and they continue to be great friends 30 years later.

Being among the first of a few black women to work in popular television reminds me that one doesn’t choose to be a pioneer,” she says today. “One does what comes next in their journey, and sometimes you happen to be the first to do it and breakdown barriers. I just happened to land in that slot of being first for some things – but being the first doesn’t mean anything if it doesn’t seed the growth of a lot more.

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Bio

Daphne Maxwell Reid, continues to thrive as a creative entrepreneur and artist, continuing to dazzle anyone who knows her with her bold spirit, grace, and work ethic. One of the first African-American women to make the cover of Glamour magazine and one of television history’s most beloved sitcom moms on, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Reid now balances her acting gigs with her work as a photographic artist, clothing designer, and education activist, demonstrating that it’s never too late to pursue new passions and find new opportunities.

Daphne worked in dozens of television series in the 1980s, guest starring in shows like “WKRP in Cincinnati” (where she first worked with her husband, Tim Reid, to whom she has been married since 1982), “Hill Street Blues,” and “Simon and Simon,” she first took a lead role on the acclaimed series “Frank’s Place,” opposite Tim. But it was in the role of, Vivian Banks, in the last three seasons of “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” with, Will Smith, that endeared Reid to a new generation of fans.

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Breaking barriers as Aunt Viv on Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Myrna: I know that you took on the role of, Vivian banks, in season four. Can you tell us your journey up until that point? And how did that role shape your life and allowed you to, break barriers?

Daphne: That’s Wow, it was another job. I had done a bunch of Back-to-Back series, including the one that you mentioned earlier Frank’s place, and Simon and Simon and Tim and I had worked a lot, and we were getting ready to move to Virginia. And in I think, it was 1989 that the show started being cast and my agent said, we’ve got a show for you to go read for it’s a half hour sitcom with a rap star and I said, No thank you.

So, we moved to Virginia, I saw the fall shows come on and there is the, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and it was so cute. I said, oh, well, go on living doing other things. I was doing projects with McCall pattern company and QVC so I was busy. Three years later I get a call saying we want you to come and audition for the role of aunt Vivian on the, Fresh Prince, of Bel Air. So, I went and I, myself and 200 other women showed up. We had a casting session that went on about two weeks.

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Two of my favorite shows are:

David Eagleman: How our brains construct reality https://www.jordanharbinger.com/david-eagleman-how-our-brains-construct-reality/

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And about the third audition, I got to work with James Avery. And we clicked, I fell in love with that huggable, wonderful man. We remained friends the rest of his life. He and his wife and Tim and I used to travel together during the show when we were off and he was just a dream. I guess that chemistry sold because they hired me to go and become one of that wonderful family. We are truly a family of friends who have stayed in touch all these 30 years.

Myrna: I know it’s been 30 years because Will had he was 22 when the show started and I think he is 52 or older now.

Fresh Prince of Bel Air still popular 30 years later

Daphne: It’s been a while. It’s amazing that the show has such legs and we’re on our third generation of people who come up to me and say, you’re Aunt Viv. But you didn’t know back then, this was 30 years ago. You didn’t know what the reception of the audience was, except by the numbers that you get from the network. There was no social media and all that kind of stuff. So, we were just doing a show. We were having a lot of fun and we got good numbers.

So, they let us continue to do it. And the end of the fifth year, Will Smith, told us that we will only be doing one more season of the, Fresh Prince. He was doing movies. He’s an incredible businessman, and watching him grow from where I started with him to the man that he became, I just was very, very proud of him. So, six years we had our last episode of the, Fresh Prince, and we cried. But we all stayed in touch with each other. Yeah, so that’s beautiful.

Will Smith Slaps Chris Rock

Myrna: So, you and, Will Smith, are still friends did you talk to him after the Oscars? We have this situation the, Will Smith slap, heard around the world, I am so sorry for him. My heart goes out to him. I’ve always admired him because of the huge movie star he’s become and I watched the, Fresh Prince of Bel Air. You know when it was on and the reruns.

So, I’ve always loved, Will Smith. When I read his book, “Will” I kind of understand where he was coming from. As soon as he slapped Chris Rock. I dropped right into that space about him not wanting to be a coward. He starts off his book by talking about being a coward.

So, have you spoken to, Will Smith, since this episode about the, slap on the Oscars? I don’t think he was ever violent. So, what is your opinion of all that slap?

Daphne: I have spoken to him and I don’t share my opinion. I love the man that’s all I have to say.

Myrna: Okay. All right. Well, that’s good. All right. So at least you’ve spoken to him probably offered him some condolences and all that. That’s good. All right. I respect that. One of the things I did before our talk is I went back and I looked at a couple of episodes of the, Fresh Prince, that you were in, so that I can talk to you about a few episodes. And it was really incredible that two of the top 10 episodes that you were in, talked about two things that, Will Smith, did later on in his life.

Will Smith bungee jumping at 50 years old

The first episode on the, Fresh Prince, I want to talk about was when Hillary was being proposed to her fiancé did the bungee jump and He splashed on the ground. And you had this great comeback on that by saying,

“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh”

Do you want to talk about that episode? Why didn’t that scare the bejesus out of, Will Smith, why would he do, bungee jumping, on his 50^th birthday?

Daphne: Probably because he wanted to face his fear of, bungee jumping. Watching National Geographic shows, you see that? He’s working his way through his, fears, and confronting them and getting over them and getting past them, encouraging people to do the same. So, I’m sure the bungee jump episode on the, Fresh Prince, was sadly funny. If it had happened to anybody that we knew that probably would not have been funny.

Myrna: What about your line “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away”. Do you have experience with that?

Daphne: Well, we know in life you win some, you lose some and it depends on how you handle either is where you go on your journey.

Myrna: That’s true. Okay, good. Yeah, because a lot of people, a lot of Christians say that and it’s very true. Once you up once you’re down. We can even use that analogy for, Will Smith, being the biggest movie star and now he is down. The Lord giveth on one hand and the other hand he taketh away, like Denzel Washington said, and devil comes for you when you get to the top. And sometimes you’ve got to be able to resist him.

Daphne Maxwell Reid relationship with her father

Now the second episode that I wanted to talk about, Will Smith, talked about it in his book, is that episode where his father played by Ben Vereen, where he came into his life and then he left and you had this scene where you said

“if you walk out of this kid’s life, again, don’t come back.”

Can you identify with that episode? What was your relationship with your father? Will Smith, had a love hate relationship with his father. His father abused them as a child and what we’re seeing today are the results of that abuse. What was your childhood like?

Daphne: My childhood was idyllic. Mother and father who were loving and supportive. Yeah, my daddy used to spank my behind when he thought I needed it, but I don’t call that child abuse. I call that discipline and sometimes it’s needed maybe once or twice and you get the message. But I had a wonderful father. He was he was a mentor on so many fronts, as was my mother. She is the person that I am striving to become. And I had no problems as a child. I was brought up in the projects as they call them, just low-income housing that my father was able to get into because he was in the army.

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It was a, black community. It was multiracial. It was multi ethnic, it was an exposure to all kinds of people but that’s what New York City was like back in the 50s. So, I grew up in a very multicultural, supportive environment. I am not one whose father left. This episode on, Fresh Prince, was one that made, Will Smith, vulnerable again. They address the same issue in the new show. Bel Air where his father comes back and he finds out where his father has been and, in the new Bell Air, he sends his father away.

But I think from the character’s point of view in the original episode of the, Fresh Prince, there was enough pain and we know what pain he went through when his father first left and we didn’t want to see him in that kind of pain again.

Breaking barriers with relevant storylines on the Fresh Prince

Myrna: Yeah. I mean, you told Will’s father if you walk out, never come back and he did walk out. I guess when the writers put that episode together, they were probably trying to address, a black culture where we all grew up. A lot of us grew up without that experience where you have to have a mother and father in the home. Majority of black kids grew up without a father. Again, when you’re dealing with some, important issues and trying to make it funny.

This episode was very emotional for, Will Smith. And that’s why he talks about in his book, and now you’re saying that they’re still bringing it up in the new, Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

Daphne: Yeah, because the storyline is basically the same. But in the hour format, they have the ability to dig deeper into each of the characters and see a well-rounded character, that we didn’t have time to do get a half hour show. We had five different opinions on how to confront this issue. And sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry, but as a family, we get a solution to whatever the challenge is.

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Still breaking barriers at 60 years old

Myrna: And yes, your husband played by James Avery was a rock. He was not only funny, but he acted that part very well. And I know that, Will Smith, looked on him as a father figure. So, it was beautiful that you guys we’re a real family. And I think that’s what happens when you work together for you know, five, six years.

Daphne: Not necessarily I have had other series other than the, Fresh Prince, that I’ve been on. And you might be friend one or two people in the show, but it’s never been this close a family with any.

Myrna: Hey, that’s amazing. Now let’s talk about you, transforming your career at 60. You said that you woke up on your 60th birthday and realized that you have been opening doors and, breaking barriers, for younger generations for a long time. What were some of the, barriers, your career has broken down and do you still think that you’re breaking down some, barriers?

Daphne: I think my existence is breaking down a, barrier. Many, many situations it’s nothing more than just educating people that people like me exist. They are not all categorically one way or another. That is a, barrier, to break because there’s a lot of misconception about our community. And we have strived all the years we’ve been in television to show a broader range of our community. Show the people that we grew up with as well and not just the characterizations created by the dominant culture of what they think, black people do, and how they are.

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Fresh Prince of Bel Air breaking stereotypical barriers

We had the freedom on, Fresh Prince, to sit around the table with the writers when we got the scripts and say, no, I think culturally, this is different from where we’re coming from, and they were able to listen and adapt to the cultural specificities that we presented. And it was very respectful and a great place to work. Tim Reid and I have been doing a lot of television since the 70s. And when we had the, the authority, the power to make sure that the people behind the camera reflected what we were presenting in front of the camera.

We took that opportunity to do that. And Tim is famous for creating heads of departments where there didn’t used to be any in the, black community. So, he’s got a whole legacy of changing the camera. What you never saw before, and now it’s so refreshing. I went to work on the new Bell Air for one episode and behind the camera was the most diverse, young, vibrant group of folks, I was pleased. Whatever contribution we made in the 70s and 80s and 90s to make break down, barriers, to make this more normal. I am so pleased that it is expressed at this time.

The black experience is not monolithic

Myrna: Yes, that’s amazing what you said about the, black experience, as a reflection of our true culture and not stereotypical, it’s really interesting that I came to that consciousness just a couple weeks ago. I was on XFINITY and they have a category called, black experience. So, I went on to that category. And everything on there is about woman who can’t pay her rent, and she is evicted and, and all that and I said to myself, why can’t they show a, black experience like the Kardashians. That’s what I want to see. I don’t want to see struggle. I don’t want to see the black person homeless or whatever.

But you’re right what you guys did in in the, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, is you showed a professional, black experience. Beautiful house, everybody was a professional and wealthy living in Bel Air. I noticed that Herman Ainsley played on an episode and his show The Jefferson’s also showed a different, black experience. He’s the other one who started to break those stereotypical, barriers. You got broke down barriers and opened the but the door needs to be wider. Black people, is not all about poverty and struggle.

Daphne: It needs to show all of our experiences we are not a monolithic group. No, we are as diverse as any other nationality, race, whatever. We have a lot of diversity. We have successes, we have failures. So, does everybody so they should show a wide berth? So, people can see that we are not, monolithic. And when we have control of the content, which is something we have continually strived to do. We have control, we have the ability to express those kinds of differences.

Myrna: And even the black actresses, whether they’re actors or actresses, they’re always striving for better roles too, because they always want to pigeonhole you into the, black experience, where you’re, a stereotype. Nobody wants to show a millionaire or billionaire black person in the show. And I believe that’s necessary to inspire our people.

Breaking barriers in black programming

Daphne: It’s changing and a lot of the change is because there are more platforms to show work than there used to be. It used to be only three networks and that was it for if you want to see something on that little box, but now there’s so many platforms and there’s so many people who are taking the helm of producing and green lighting projects that reflect what they want to show.

I had the honor of being in the movie, Harriet, and what was so much of an honor for me. I had only one line but I couldn’t care less. I wanted it to be around a, black female director, a black female producer, a black male designer, a black fashion designer and Cynthia Erivo. I mean, it was such an honor to work in that environment, where you feel the passion from each one of them. To make this one of the best things you’ve ever seen. It was a remarkable working experience that I’ll treasure.

Myrna: That’s amazing. That’s true. And the academy rewarded them. They won several awards. All right so you have been married to Tim Reid for over 40 years, what is the recipe for a successful marriage in Hollywood? Do you still live in LA?

What’s the secret to a successful marriage in Hollywood

Daphne: No we do not live in Hollywood, Okay, in Hollywood we would have been with 40 years by regular calendars, but in Hollywood it would be like 160 years. A lot of people get their egos busted in Hollywood. If you’re not standing on your own two feet, you’re going to have a problem. But what I think our secret to a successful marriage is we’ve learned how to fight fair and we respect each other.

You have to start with a basis of respect because that fire that gets you together in the first place, doesn’t burn for 40 years. With this person who you have chosen to be with, and you cannot change anyone, so stop trying to change people. They are who they are. Deal with it. Well, that goes both ways and always bring something to the relationship.

Don’t go there just to take. Make sure that you have something to give in the relationship, so you can grow together and allow each other to grow in the way that they personally need to grow. Its hard work and takes some effort. It takes learning how to fight fair and perseverance. It also takes some love Yes.

Myrna: Of course, love have to be there else it’s not going to work. But you are correct the love transforms itself from passion just loving being together and doing life together.

Daphne: You have to want the best for each other. I mean, if you start to tear down their desires to grow, you’re really setting a bad example, because they can turn around and tear down your desire to grow and stagnation is not a good component of a marriage.

Myrna: That’s awesome. What are you up to these days? Are you still acting? I see you have 4 photobooks and a cookbook. Can you tell us about those?

Taking photos of life

Daphne: When I take photos, I do things with them. I made tote bags this this year because COVID kept me from traveling and I couldn’t take more pictures. I always do a line of coats and I still do custom coats. I stay busy because I like staying busy. And I have some talents to share and I continue to say share with them. I made masks during COVID I still make masks, I put a HEPA filter in them and they’re safe to wear but they’re also stylish. I make them for donation pieces for different art groups that I work with.

I designed fabrics that I use to make these masks, I designed fabrics for any use. I like to take these journeys of exploration and see where they leave me. And since I turned 60 many years ago, I started my photographic journey and decided that I was going to be a photographic artist. I had to learn what that meant and how to do it. And I started with gallery shows and I started making note cards and prints that you put on the wall and they just evolved into stories that I’ve talked about my travel which into books, which turned into a wonderful, wonderful way to travel.

Myrna: What do you photograph? Is it scenery or people?

Daphne: Only doors I only take pictures of doors.

Myrna: Oh, that’s amazing.

Using Doors as a metaphor of life

Daphne: They are, to me a metaphor for life. I want to encourage people by looking at my doors to see what I saw at that moment because I only take one picture of each door. See what I see at that moment how God lit it. How the craftsmen crafted it. Colors, the texture, noticing the details of your life makes your journey very rich. Don’t go from A to B just to get there, be sure that you pay attention to the details of getting to be because that enriches your journey and makes for a wonderful joyful life.

Myrna: Now that’s a perfect metaphor or analogy to end the transform your mind show, that is amazing. I did not notice that. And I’ve actually never heard that. How many times do we notice a door? We just use it as an entry point. So that’s beautiful if you stop and look at that. I was doing some visualization yesterday and they said that whenever you walk into the door of your house, that you should picture yourself walking into your dream life. I never pay attention to my door and never remember my visualization.

Daphne: You just notice the details in life and it really is enriching don’t just hold that phone and walk around. Open yourself up and live your life. Don’t just look for it to be animated in front of you.

Paying attention to life

Myrna: That’s wise advice. I follow the reaching of Sadhguru and he talked about, paying attention, to your inner world. So, I started doing that, paying attention, because we don’t even pay attention. Everything goes on automatically in our lives and in our body. So what you’re talking about is, paying attention, to things in life and then once you start doing that, then maybe you can bring it internally.

Daphne: Your health depends on you, paying attention, to what your body is responding to. You listen to it, and pay attention to it. It will guide you to what you need for your body.

Myrna: How can listeners connect with you and get copies of your books, masks and designs?

Daphne: www.DaphneMaxwellReid.com The site has everything about me, what I’ve been doing, what I’m going to do, what I’ve done. Join me and look at what I have to serve with what I have to offer you.

Additional Resources

The Pursuit of Happiness: The Happiness Habit

May 6, 2022

Saying Yes To Your Demons

Saying yes to your, demons, is how you get rid of them. Demons, feed on, negative energy, and, conflict. So just accept them and tell yourself if you ignore them they will go away.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10571045-saying-yes-to-your-demons.mp3?download=true

The monk who gathered demons

There is an ancient story of a, monk, who leaves his cave to gather firewood and when he comes back, he finds his cave filled with, demons. They had taken over the joint. His first thought is I got to get rid of these guys, so he tries pushing them out, fighting them, lunging at them but the, demons, were unphased.

The more he tried to get rid of them, the more they settled in.

His next approach was to teach them the, dharma, and make them leave on their own.

He teaches them about, impermanence, nonphysical and physical, compassion etc. but they just stared at him with wide eyes understanding nothing.

He realized that these, demons, could not be manipulated to leave so he resigned himself and decided to find out what they were there to teach him. As soon as he accepted these, demons, most of them bow and dissolve except one.

One demon always stick around

There is always one fierce, demon, that sticks around that is difficult to get rid of. So, he walks up to this, demon, and said “you win, just eat me” and he sticks his head in its mouth and that, demon, dissolves also. The moral of the story.

The, demons, leave when you stop fighting and say yes.

How many of you can relate to this story? You are, conflict, with your spouse, your boss or best friend. You are trying to convince them of your point of view but the more you try to debate the issue the more they settle in on their point of view.

So, finally you say to yourself I give up you win and the second head on your spouse vanishes!

Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

Teaching Dharma to the demons

The, monk, even tried to teach the, demons, the, Dharma, and about, impermanence, because they felt they were still alive.

Buddha, had three essential teachings called the, Dharma Seals. These three teachings of the, Buddha, are:

Impermanence,
no self and
nirvana.

For instance, our body is visibly impermanent and getting older every day, and yet this is something we don’t want to accept. Certain popular magazines that cater to youth and beauty exploit this attitude. In terms of view, meditation and action, their readers might have a view — thinking in terms of not aging or escaping the aging process somehow. They contemplate this view of permanence, and their consequent action is to go to fitness centers and undergo plastic surgery and all sorts of other hassles.

Enlightened beings would think that this is ridiculous and based on a wrong view. Regarding these different aspects of, impermanence, getting old and dying, the changing of the weather, etc., Buddhists, have a single statement, namely this first seal: phenomena are impermanent because they are compounded. Anything that is assembled will, sooner or later, come apart.

Nirvana, is a place of perfect peace and happiness, like heaven. In Hinduism and, Buddhism, nirvana is the highest state that someone can attain, a state of enlightenment, meaning a person’s individual desires and suffering go away.

Just as all-important legal documents have the mark or signature of a witness, all genuine practices of the, Buddha, bear the mark of these three teachings.

Teaching impermanence to demons

If we look into the first, Dharma Seal, impermanence, we see that it doesn’t just mean that everything changes. By looking into the nature of things, we can see that nothing remains the same for even two consecutive moments. Because nothing remains unchanged from moment to moment it therefore has no fixed identity or a permanent self.

So in the teaching of, impermanence, we always see the lack of an unchanging self. We call this “no self,” the second Dharma Seal. It is because things are always transforming and have, no self, that freedom is possible.

When you are fighting, demons, it is easy to say “I give up, eat me” because they feed on the energy of, conflict, fear, and, negative thoughts, just remember another ancient saying “this too shall pass” the, demons, only stay if you fight them.

Demons are here to teach us something

What can our, demons, teach us? Every, conflict, is here to teach us something.

If you are in a relationship and someone is always pushing your buttons, then that is an opportunity for growth. This, demon, is here to teach you to have an, internal locus of control. When you have peace inside, no one can deliberately push your buttons. You will find that the, demon, dissipates when you don’t react or respond. It is no fun trying to steal your peace if you don’t lose your peace. Practice not reacting to the, demon, just say yes and they will leave you alone.

Say This too shall pass, everything is impermanent.

Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Additional Resources

Are You Trapped By Your Past?

May 2, 2022

Never Underestimate Your Enemy: Putin’s War on Ukraine

Dr. Gleb Tsipursky , is a Ukrainian and a behavioral scientist. He shares why we should never go with our gut. He believes that Putin went with his gut and attacked Ukraine believing it would be an easy victory because he was able to attack Crimea in 2014. There was not a very strong international push and reaction against, Russia. And the, Ukraine Army, did not perform very well. And so, he judged that based on past trends, and the same thing would happen again and he, underestimated the enemy.

And so, those impulses to make decisions quickly without sufficient information. That’s what a snap judgment is. And we do that because we’re overconfident. Just like, Putin, was overconfident in this situation, people are also overconfident about who they marry and chose a partner without proper information.

Download the Podcast Here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10543173-never-underestimate-your-enemy-putin-s-war-on-ukraine.mp3?download=true

Bio

Dr. Gleb Tsipursky is a world-renowned thought leader in future-proofing, decision making, and cognitive bias risk management in the future of work. He serves as the CEO of the boutique future-proofing consultancy Disaster Avoidance Experts, which helps forward-looking leaders in Fortune 500 firms, middle-market companies, and growing startups avoid dangerous threats and missed opportunities. He is the best-selling author of Never Go With Your Gut: How Pioneering Leaders Make the Best Decisions and Avoid Business Disasters, and other publications.

He was featured in over 550 articles and 450 interviews in Harvard Business Review, Fortune, USA Today, Inc. Magazine, CBS News, Time, Business Insider, and elsewhere. His expertise comes from over 20 years of consulting, coaching, and speaking and training for Fortune 500 companies, and over 15 years in academia as a behavioral scientist. Dr Gleb’s father is, Ukrainian, and he immigrated with his family to the United States in 1991.

Putin’s War on Ukraine

Myrna: Putin said that the reason he invaded, Ukraine, was because there were Jewish Nazis in, Ukraine. Everybody said that that was a ludicrous idea, because your president, Volodymyr Zelensky, is Jewish. So, educate us to what do you think was going on with, Putin. Why did the Jews come into the conversation?

Dr Gleb: The crucial thing, so again, I have a Jewish background and so does the current President of Ukraine, Zelensky, who has become world famous right now.

And so, Ukraine, and, Russia, and all that part of the world. A really important part of their heritage is fighting against the Nazi Germany in World War Two. So, if you think of the history books in, Russia, in, Ukraine, and Moldova, in Belarus, Latvia, Estonia, the United States, you have the 1776 revolution was like a fundamental episode in American history, kind of the founding in the Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, that part of the world, the former Soviet territories.

World War Two is really the crucial element that is in the history books as marking the rise of the Soviet Union, Russia, Ukraine. And so that was a fight against Nazi Germany. And that’s part of the people’s identity. So, whenever the political leadership is trying to scare people, and manipulate them into doing what the leadership wants, it brings out the specter of Nazis and labels everything bad on the Nazis. And so that when, Putin, was saying denazification. He’s not speaking to us, he’s speaking to his own people to justify the war. Putin, doesn’t think that the world outside, Russia, will be convinced that there are any actual real Nazis in the, Ukraine.

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Does Putin war on Ukraine come from his gut?

Myrna: Thanks for explaining a little bit about what, Putin, is doing as far as his conversation about the Nazi Germany. But let’s talk about you, you became a, risk management, and, decision-making expert, when we’re talking about war, when we’re talking about the pandemic, when we’re talking about anything that has risks; that is where your expertise lies. So, tell us about this, risk management, and what is that all about?

Dr Gleb: Sure, happy to. So, there’s a reason that my book was called “Never Go with Your Gut” Our, intuition, unfortunately, has been shown to lie to us very often. And many people trust their intuition. So, they think I should trust my, gut, that if it tells me something. That’s what I should do. I mean, that’s what, Putin, did when invaded, Ukraine. He trusted his, gut, and we can see where it landed him? In some very bad places.

Myrna: Yes, his gut told him that, Ukraine, would be an easy win, 6 weeks later, he had not made any progress.

Dr Gleb: You’re exactly right. You can see that his, gut, was very wrong. And that’s because he bought into these ideas, myths that you should trust your gut to follow your intuition. Despite the advice of many military advisors are telling him no to invade, Ukraine. Instead, Putin, sent his troops very quickly with unaccompanied tanks, paratroopers without sufficient support to try to occupy airfields around here to basically take the political capital. And that worked out very badly for him.

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Putin underestimated the enemy

My background is in, behavioral science, which means how do we behave, and why do we behave that way, it is part of, cognitive neuroscience. How does the structure of, mind, shape what we do? And the interesting thing about that is that our, mind, is really not evolved for the environment. So, when we see what our, mind, is about, our, intuition, our, gut reactions, those parts of ourselves that are bound for the savanna environment when we lived in small tribes of 50 people to 150 people, and survive using the fight or flight reflex.

And so, we have certain, intuitions, that are shaped by that Savanna environment that various structures of our, minds, which cause our, mind, to be lazy, minimizing the work that needs to be done. That causes us to make very quick snap judgments and make decisions based on past tendencies and predictions of what would happen.

So, for example, with, Ukraine, when, Putin, was able to attack Crimea in 2014, there was not a very strong international push and reaction against, Russia. And the, Ukraine Army, did not perform very well. And so, he judged that based on past trends, and the same thing would happen again and he, underestimated the enemy.

Why Putin Underestimated Ukraine

Myrna: Zelensky, was not the president back in 2014. Putin, underestimated the enemy, right.

Dr Gleb, He not only, underestimated the enemy, but the, Ukrainian army, which was very much strengthened, both by, Ukraine, itself and by Western Arms, military arms during that period, and he underestimated the strength and resolving of the international response, which was very strong.

Myrna: Putin, underestimated the enemy, because, Ukraine, is not part of NATO, so he felt they won’t get any help. He made a lot of bad calculations.

Dr Gleb: We need to learn that our, gut, often is not to be trusted. There’s a reason that about 50% of marriages end in divorce. Because people tend to trust their gut their intuitions about marriage.

Myrna: You’re right we marry somebody because of your, gut feelings.

Never Go With Your Gut feelings

Dr Gleb: Yeah, you should make a more evaluative and calculating decision. And it feels very weird for people to hear this if they should make a calculated decision about who to marry. But if you don’t think through your decision, you are not going to make good choices. Let’s say you want kids, are you prepared to raise your children as a single mother if you get divorce? Since the divorce rate is 50% and most times the women are taking care of the kids, you have to think this through before you get married.

If I’m the woman, I don’t want to be the sole caretaker of the kids. If we have kids will need to divide up responsibilities. 50% right, otherwise, so one of the most common periods for people to get divorced when you look at when people get divorced is the first year after having a child which is pretty terrible.

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What is the impact of Russia’s war on Ukraine in the US

Myrna: Let’s get back to the war on, Ukraine. What do you think is the impact of, Russia, war on, Ukraine, on Ukrainians, and then on the Russians living in the United States?

Dr Gleb: So, Ukrainians like myself are definitely devastated by it. And we feel very strongly a lot of anger, a lot of frustration. And there’s especially this very weird dynamic where we’re all part of the, Russian, speaking community, right. I don’t speak, Ukrainian, all, I speak is, Russian. But there are many, Ukrainians, who don’t speak the, Ukrainian, language, especially for ones who come from more from eastern, Ukraine.

And so right now, many, Ukrainians, are in the weird position of speaking a language that is associated with an enemy and that is their cultural heritage. And that’s been the position I find myself in. So that’s like a really strange and weird dynamic. And there’s a lot of sympathy and empathy for the people in, Ukraine, especially with people like myself, I have family there, and I’m really worried about them. So that’s kind of, Ukrainians, and our experience.

Now I also have a lot of, Russian, friends and interests. My wife is actually Russian. She’s from Moscow, and I have a lot of other Russian people in my life, and I know that their main feeling is shame. Shame for what, Russia, is doing. People are burning their passports, just putting lighter fluid on their passports and burning them and expressing a lot of shame and grief and frustration. Feeling that they can’t ever go back to, Russia.

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Discrimination against Russians in the US

It’s sad to see that there are some people in the United States who are expressing discrimination against, Russian, people. And of course, it’s really hard to tell someone who’s, Russian, from someone who’s, Ukrainian, like me, because we are speaking the same language, and have the same culture.

The Russians who are here are specifically up left, Russia, they do not want to be covered by that. So, it’s very important to not discriminate against them and to be supportive of them.

Myrna: How is the war on, Ukraine, going to affect relations in the future? Is there going to be some hate there between, Ukrainians, and, Russians? Do you think that divide is going to be permanent?

Dr Gleb: Yeah, I think that this divide is going to be there for several generations, because having this situation with just this brutal military conflict, especially some of the terrible, war crimes, coming out of Kharkiv, and other cities. Civilians are being executed with their hands tied up and then being shot. That’s a horrible thing. And of course, other terrible things like, rape, and so on, but just the killing of civilians without any particular reason.

So, discovering those things is especially bad and just the shelling of Mariupol killing all those civilians. It that’s pretty terrible. I think the scenes especially of the brutal atrocities and, war crimes, in Kharkiv, is going to cause a lot of just hatred for a very long time.

Myrna: So horrible to imagine and witness. Putin, is a, psychopath. He is exactly like Hitler.

Is Putin a Psychopath?

Dr Gleb: People like, Putin, who are arrogant, narcissistic, psychopaths, who just feel that they’re entitled and they’re grandiose and they’re ambitious, and they go with their gut. And then they make some pretty bad decisions that may harm all of us.

Myrna: So, what can the US do about, Russia’s war in Ukraine? You haven’t. You have some advice for the political powers?

Dr Gleb: Sure. So, I think one of the really important things to think about is how are, Ukrainian, citizens dealing with it from a humanitarian perspective, and to support, Ukrainian, citizens from a humanitarian perspective. I think that’s very important. And what the United States does now will be remembered for a very long time, because the United States has been in the global eyes, it has been weakened in a number of situations, foreign policy wise.

Let’s say what happened in Afghanistan, that doesn’t look good and everywhere in Syria, many situations. So, this is a chance for us to redeem ourselves, and to really show that we are the leaders of the free world, and to really provide a model of how the world should act toward, Ukraine, by helping rebuild, Ukraine, is incredibly important.

Right now, Russia, is focusing on, Eastern Ukraine. I think there shouldn’t be a lot of efforts to rebuild the, Western Ukraine, at least with something like the Marshall Plan that was instituted after, World War Two, where the United States helped rebuild Europe after it was devastated by World War Two, something like that.

People ask, how much is going to cost? It’s definitely going to cost money, but think about the longtime term, the kind of goodwill we will get from all the people in, Ukraine, the people around, Ukraine, in Europe and elsewhere who will see the United States rebuilding a country that was devastated by foreign affairs.

Rebuilding Ukraine

Myrna: The United States, what about all countries in NATO?

Dr Gleb: We’re talking about what the United States can do right now. I certainly think the countries in NATO, it would be nice to help, but regardless of what they do, it’s very important for us as the leaders of the free world to help rebuild, Ukraine. NATO aren’t the leaders of the free world. We are the leaders of the free world.

So, we should model the kind of behavior we want to see. And we should make sure by supporting, Ukraine, and building up, Ukraine, as a democratic country, we should make sure to support democracy around the world, because right now, we’re very much facing threats to our democracy. Threats not only from, Russia, but much more importantly, China, other countries that are authoritarian regional countries that are not behaving very well.

And so we want to build up democracy and that means building up, Ukraine, and especially as the war winds down, and of course, at the same time supplying, Ukraine army, which we’re currently doing. I think that’s great. I think we should continue doing that and build up on top, but I certainly don’t think we should put any of our forces in there. I think we should provide them with weapons.

Putin’s failure to defeat Ukraine

Myrna: The United States is also accepting, Ukrainian refugees.

So, we allow, Putin, to go in and destroy this country, and then somebody else has to rebuild it. How do we stop him from doing it again, or any other country from doing it? Is there a way to stop that? I mean, Putin, should rebuild, Ukraine.

Dr Gleb: For sure, it’s easier to destroy than to build. That’s first of all, and I think what will prevent him from doing it, again, is the, sanctions, that will degrade, Russia’s economy, and ability to build more modern weapons. That’s what we need to worry about, about, Russia, having more modern weapons, and by using pretty harsh, sanctions, which I think it would be good if the, sanctions, were ramped up more that will that will punish, Russia, and prevent it from going to war easily. Again, the future will also demonstrate to other countries like China that they should not be invading countries.

If you look at the Chinese messaging, communication, propaganda, they’re very much pro-Russian. So, we want to make sure that we have very strong, sanctions, on, Russia, in order to discourage China and other countries from trying anything like this in the future.

Myrna: It is great that, Putin, did not succeed, because if people are still watching it, you know what I mean? It wasn’t a successful venture. It was just a very costly venture, destroyed, the whole country, killed innocent people, and he didn’t get anything. He didn’t possess the land.

Sanctions to punish Putin

Dr Gleb: You absolutely right Myrna that’s very important. So, that’s coming in part from our military help, which is great. And also, the, sanctions, are helping. We need to keep the, sanctions, but it is very important to rebuild, Ukraine. Nobody will do it if we don’t do. And so, this is the crucial thing that I think I want to point out that we really need to work on rebuilding credit. If we want democracy to flourish.

It’s very easy to say democracy is great, and it will flourish naturally. But we see that’s not the case. China, Russia and many, many other countries are authoritarian. And if we want democracy to win instead of authoritarianism, like in China and Russia, we need to build up democracies after they’re devastated by authoritarian states.

I think is really important for to see happen in, Ukraine. On the one hand, I think we definitely want to welcome refugees, Ukrainian refugees. I don’t think we should mandatorily support from coming here. So, there’s a natural filter system for the only the most capable and dedicated ones coming here because it takes a lot of money to come to United States.

So, we’d not have a program or evacuation like an Afghanistan, where we support people, Ukraine. I think we want to welcome, Ukrainians. And also more controversially, I think we should really want to welcome those, Russians, who are leaving, Russia.

Myrna: How can listeners get in touch with you for, speaking engagements, your book, your articles, your social media handles etc.

Conclusion Putin’s War on Ukraine

Dr Gleb: Well, my book “Never go in your Gut” is available on bookstores everywhere and there’s an audio book for people who like that. There’s digital and physical to check it out, find the normal Amazon, whatever you want. My own resources are going to be at www.disasteravoidanceexperts.com. There’s my contact information for all the people who have any questions about anything.

I said that are interested in this sort of engagement, consulting coaching, speaking and so on. There are my blogs, videos, podcasts, audiobooks, ordinary books, online courses, check those out. And there’s a free online course and assessment on making dangerous judgment better so to help you avoid those dangerous judgment errors.

So, if you want to take an assessment of these, cognitive biases, as part of an online course, check out a free course at www.disasteravoidanceexperts.com/subscribe.

Additional Resources

How To Turn Your Pain Into Power

April 29, 2022

If life Gives You Lemons Make Other Plans

You have all heard of the expression “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” It is a proverbial phrase that is used to encourage people to stay optimistic and to keep fighting in the face of adversity or misfortune. Lemons, suggests sourness and difficulty in life; making, lemonade, with, lemons, that is being handed out to you turns the whole sour episode into something sweet, positive, and desirable.

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Here is a story to illustrate How to Make lemonade out of lemons

When the British colonized India, they built a golf course in Calcutta, and they had a problem with the, monkeys. The, monkeys, would pick up the balls the golfers hit and put it somewhere else.

They tried to solve the problem by building a fence around the course, but, monkeys, climb, so that didn’t work.
They tried to lure the, monkeys, away with bananas, but then some were lured away, and others weren’t. Plus, all the, monkeys, for miles around would show up to feed on their favorite food, so that didn’t work either.
Finally, they changed the rules and had the golfers play the ball from wherever the, monkeys, dropped it. If life gives you lemons, make other plans.

This is a strange story to depict the mantra “if life gives you lemons, make, lemonade, or other plans.” We don’t always get sugar and spice and everything that is nice, most of the time, things don’t work out the way we planned.

We make plans but God makes other plans

One of my favorite shows was Private Practice. Addison made a statement on the show that says

“We make plans but God, make other plans, he has the last word”

Your desire to have a baby could be so strong that you pray every day, you dream of your child every day, you think of your life with your baby every day, but it’s been 5 years and you are not pregnant. The doctors say you are infertile. Time to play the ball where the, monkeys, dropped it and make, lemonade, out of your, lemons. Make other plans, adopt a child, foster a child, look for a surrogate mother or start fertility treatments.

Another way to use the proverb, if life give you lemons, make, lemonade, is to practice the, law of detachment. This law states that in order to manifest our desires, we must release attachment to the outcome itself as well as the path we might take to get there, that you should only be attached to your end goal not the journey.

You can put the law of detachment to work with these steps:

1. Today I will commit myself to, detachment. I will allow myself and those around me the freedom to be as they are. I will not rigidly impose my idea of how things should be. I will not force solutions on problems, thereby creating new problems. I will participate in everything with detached involvement.

2. Today I will factor in uncertainty as an essential ingredient of my experience. In my willingness to accept uncertainty, solutions will spontaneously emerge out of the problem, out of the confusion, disorder, and chaos. I will understand that, if life gives me lemons, I will make other plans. The more uncertain things seem to be, the more secure I will feel, because uncertainty is my path to freedom. Through the wisdom of uncertainty, I will find my security.

3. I will step into the field of all possibilities and anticipate the excitement that can occur when I remain open to an infinity of choices. When I step into the field of all possibilities, I will experience all the fun, adventure, magic, and mystery of life.

If life gives you lemons remember the goal is the destination

If your goal is to retire and travel the world, that is your, destination goal. The journey could take you around that golf course several times back and forth, sometimes you would be stuck in the sand box, sometimes you will hit the ball in the lake, but if you keep playing you will eventually get to the 18th hole. Use this analogy for your life, just keep playing the, game of life. Don’t be attached to the journey just the, destination goal. If life gives you lemons, make other plans.

The target affects the arrow! Keep the target in your vision and the arrow will find it.

Forrest Gump said it best, life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you are going to get so, if life gives you lemons, make other plans.

This is coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna.

Additional Resources

The Events in Life Work Together for Your Good

April 26, 2022

Can You Handle Success Like Chris Rock

Success is like a two-faced coin, one side is fame and fortune, the other side is no privacy and no peace. Chris Rock, knew about, success, and that he couldn’t retaliate to Will Smith’s slap.

In my episode entitled “Will Smith had 10 seconds to choose a different reality” we looked at the slap that was heard around the world from Will’s Smith’s perspective.

I agreed with Denzel Washington’s statement to, Will Smith, that when you are at the height of your success that is when the devil comes to destroy you.

The devil was able to grab Will Smiths peace and joy from him seconds before he reached the top of the mountain and the celebration began.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10391137-can-you-handle-success-like-chris-rock.mp3?download=true

How Chris Rock handled the moment

But today so want to talk about, Chris Rock. Most men even Pastor Jamal Bryant from Newbirth church in Atlanta, Ga said that if a man slapped him, he would not have turned the other cheek. They would not let anyone take their manhood and bitch slap them on National TV without retaliation.

The first thing my daughter said to me was that, Chris Rock, was so aware. He knew that the person walking onstage was Richard and not Will. He took the slap said “Dude it was just a GI Jane joke” and then completed this moment by saying “This is the Greatest night in television history.” He was present.

So why didn’t the, Devil, take out two black men at the same time? Why wasn’t he able to destroy, Chris Rock, who remained calm?

Why wasn’t, Will Smith, able to handle, success, and, Chris Rock, grabbed his moment. These are the questions I will attempt to answer in this episode.

Chris Rock, also had 10 seconds to make a decision to retaliate, he made a different choice and instead he continued on with the task at hand. He was there to present the, Oscar, for a documentary film.

transform your mind curiocaster podcast — curiocaster podcast

Chris Rock was prepared for success

Chris Rock, moment came and he was prepared for it. Apparently, he has been in therapy 7 hours per week for being bullied and abused in school. He was attempting to bury his demons. Will Smith, also had a coach for 2 years, but his demons returned.

When your moment of, success, comes, if you take it, the universe rewards you. Chris Rock, is making bank. All his shows have been sold out and, Will Smith, will probably not get another movie role for a long time.

So, what does, success, look like to you?

Remember what you have now, you asked God for.

Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

How does success look like for me

Success, to me looks like a beach front house, a million dollars in the bank a couple of luxury cars.

But I am, successful, now. Everything I have now, I asked God for.

I have a successful podcast,
I have a TV show,
I live in a 5-bedroom house in Florida,
I am an American,
I have a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful kids.

Don’t tell yourself that you will be, successful, when something happens. Nothing wrong with having goals, but you have to enjoy your life now or you will never be able to enjoy it then.

Happiness does not come with success

I heard both, Will Smith, and Kanye West say

“I have all the money I need, I have the hot wife and kids, the big house, career success but I am not happy.”

How will you handle, success? Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.

Will smith, decided that the day when he was about to receive his highest honor, he would let the, devil, ruin it.

Chris Rock, responded to being slapped in front of his peers and the world with no aggression; he told, the devil.

“Get behind me Satan.”

He could not have imagined this scene, but maybe as a comedian he was prepared for someone responding badly to his joke and charging the stage.

Success is like a two faced coin

I was listening to the radio the other day and they were talking about a rapper who just retired because she didn’t like fame. Most people want, success, but can’t handle it when it comes. Success. is like a two-faced coin, one side is fame and fortune, the other side is no privacy and no peace.

Can you handle, success?

This is Life coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to 5 mins with coach Myrna.

Additional Resources

Transform your Business Life: Dress for Success

April 25, 2022April 25, 2022

The Law of Attraction: How Vibrational Energy Works

Ginny Gane, Law of Attraction coach, empowers women to transform mediocre lives into experiences of true abundance, joy, and love through levering the principles of, the Law of Attraction.

Leveraging our vibrational power allows us to create more love, harmony, and freedom in our lives.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10498383-the-law-of-attraction-how-vibrational-energy-works.mp3?download=true

Abraham Hicks started my Law of Attraction Journey

Ginny: I’ve always been in the self-improvement space. I’ve been reading all the books from Self-improvement masters like Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Deepak Chopra. I was traveling in Australia for a year on my own and the, Law of Attraction, part of this story is there was a day and I was feeling blah. I said to myself, oh, God, what’s going on? What am I doing?

I have no money, blah, blah. And I called my parents told them how I was feeling, and they suggested I get this book called “The Astonishing Power Of Your Emotions” by Abraham Hicks. And I’m like, yeah, yeah, whatever, guys, okay. And so, I hung up the phone, and I picked up my backpack and went to walk back to my hostel and as I was walking along past a bookstore, I saw that exact book on a table in front of the store.

I was like, that, oh, my goodness this cannot be a coincidence. And I looked it over and I’m like, it’s $35. I can eat for a year on that. So, I walked away but there was just something that won’t let me leave it alone. As soon as I read that book, it was the piece I was looking for. It’s what allowed me to feel empowered about my life and have some idea of control over it. I understood things can’t just happen to you. That is how I got started and I had never ever thought about it in a business. I just loved it.

I started using, Law of Attraction, in my life. And then a few years later a friend of mine said to me, Hey, you’re basically my, law of attraction coach, and I said, What’s that? What does that mean? I had no idea, and I was like that this could be a career path. I had always been passionate about doing something I loved. Whatever I was going to pick for work, I wanted to love it. And so, I was like well, I love this. I would always be reading or talking about, the law of attraction. I never get tired of it.

And so just and I was like, Okay, great. Then the rest is history. And my path here and teaching has just continued to evolve and become deeper and more transformational in, Law of Attraction coaching.

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Feeling good is the doorway for the Law of Attraction

Myrna: I absolutely love that. So, when you read the book, by Abraham Hicks, you were in Australia for a reason. Why were you backpacking in Australia?

Ginny: You know, the biggest thing that I started to practice was just paying attention to what I was thinking and how I was feeling, because that’s like such a foundation right to utilizing, the law of attraction. And basically, building this internal awareness of what was going on because when we do that, then we know what’s going on in our, vibration. I would just start to notice how things were matching and lining up.

So, when I woke up, and I felt really good, and I was walking along the beach and feeling happy, and I was like, Oh, you’re thinking about how good life is and then you feel happy. Okay, so there’s that connection. And then I would find $1 on the ground, or I would run into and have a really nice conversation with someone. I just started to pay attention and notice how, the law of attraction, was at play in my life. And that was I think the biggest shift I made before I really started to do anything else.

I’ve never really been like, trying to manifest things. I just feel like we’re here to live such a full life and a full experience.

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Myrna: Wayne Dyer talks about the power of intention, which is basically the same thing as, the law of attraction. But he also talks about feeling good. When you’re feeling good you know your, vibration, is good.

Change your thoughts change your life

Ginny: I have Wayne Dyer’s book called “Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life”. Yeah, feeling good changes your life. What about you? How did you get into introduced to , the law of attraction?

Myrna: Well, like I first learned about, the law of attraction, from to just be Deepak Chopra and then I read Robin Sharma’s book “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari” Then I bumped on to Abraham Hicks and her work with the, vortex. I have stuff in my, vortex, that I needed to manifest. That was my introduction and I work with, the laws of attraction, daily.

Let’s transition into that. You talked about leveling your, vibrational power, and using, vibrational energy, for manifestation, you mentioned that you weren’t very big in manifestation. but, as a, Law of Attraction coach, to your clients, I’m pretty sure that they want to manifest stuff. So how do you help them?

Ginny: I find manifesting some of the bigger things in life requires finding that balance of wanting what you want, allowing that desire to flow through you and being happy, feeling good where you’re at. It’s this tricky because if we get too focused on our desires, what starts to happen is we notice that they’re not there. And so, we start activating more of the lack energy or the lack vibration and then attracting more of that.

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But I think one of the powerful parts of manifesting is just knowing we have this power. So, it’s not only, the law of attractions, happening, it’s happening now in every single human’s life. The Law of Attraction, is at play the same way as the, law of gravity. We’re using it no matter if we are aware of it or not. There’s nothing mysterious or magical we must do. The Law of Attraction, is here for us 24/7. And so, the more we pay attention to it, the more powerful it becomes for us. Our, vibration, is attracting things to us.

Vibrations and the law of attraction

Myrna: So true, we are manifesting whether we are aware of it or not. People don’t understand why they’re getting all these things in their life that they didn’t then ask for, but as a, Law of Attraction coach, you know that they are manifesting it from there, vibration. So, explain, what is vibration.

Ginny: We are, manifesting, in every moment of every day and so, the Law of Attraction, works by responding to the, vibration, you’re embodying or putting out into the world. So, the way I like to think about it is like we’re constantly emitting this energy. And the, Law of Attraction, is constantly responding by bringing conditions that match that, energy. Now we know what that, energy, is attracted by how we feel. So, we measure and interpret, vibration, through emotion.

Myrna: You’re going to attract conditions that is similar to whatever emotion you’re feeling. If you spend a lot of time in anger or frustration, you’re going to attract negative conditions that vibrates at the same frequency of anger or frustration. We never get out of the cycle, that is why we must pay attention to our, emotions, and, vibration.

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Ginny: Yes, and it is there’s that’s a real thing it’s like this momentum that builds up. So, we will attract frustrating conditions and then we will look at the condition and then feel bad and then we’ll look at what is next. It’s just the cycle. So, until we become aware of that cycle, we have no chance to stop it or to do something different. So the first thing we can do is just start to become aware of what you are getting back.

Vibration is energy

Myrna: You said something a minute ago that resonated with me, because I work a lot of my, energy. I work a lot of my, vibration. I do it every day several times a day, but mostly, I do it in the morning when I walk into the park because, we know that communing with nature builds of good, vibrations. I spend a lot of time in nature trying to clear up my, energy. But you said something a minute ago and it just reminded me that sometimes when you spend too much time on something, you build up resistance. So tell us where is the line, how long should we focus on something before we started building up resistance to, manifesting, it?

Ginny: Myrna this is the tricky part because this line moves, so depending on what’s going on in your life, or what side of the bed you wake up on, your focus will either be really easy and flowing or it will be more resistant. Only you know how it feels and this is my guidance on this, a lot of people get stuck on this is if you’re thinking about what you want and you’re thinking about it and thinking about it thinking about it and It’s not coming, then there’s resistance there, no doubt.

But you must pay attention to how you’re feeling when you’re thinking about the thing you want. How you’re feeling when you think about the thing you want, because it’s the thoughts that feels good about what you want that are bringing you closer to it, but if you’re having resistant thoughts, even the thoughts even thoughts like this is never going to happen.

Myrna: You’re saying okay, I want this. It’s not coming, maybe you’re saying maybe it’s never going to come or you know that kind of, negative thoughts. For example, you are thinking, I would like a red Mercedes and the minute you say you would like to red Mercedes, you immediately have the thought but I can never afford one. That is a resistant thought and cancels out the manifestation of that red Mercedes.

How to visualize to manifest your dreams

Ginny: Correct. But you can think about the red Mercedes, and you can end as long as you’re feeling open and allowing and joyful and you’re like, oh, that’s exciting. I love the way that feels, then that’s great. But the moment it switches, and this is that line, you were talking about. The moment it switches from like, Oh, I love the Mercedes and blah, blah But when will that happen? Then you’re like well, okay, time to stop thinking about the Mercedes.

So, if you’re wanting that red Mercedes, a little bit of resistance there, because you’re noticing it hasn’t come yet. It’s better for you to start thinking about something completely different, thinking about walking by the ocean. That gives you that same feeling and that opens the pathway for the red Mercedes to come in. This is one of the misconceptions is that we think we need to think about the details of everything we want in order to manifest it. We don’t need to need to obsess about thinking about the details. We do need to obsess about being in that, vibration, in that feeling place.

Myrna: Yes, I work on that. I try that okay. So how can we leverage, law of attraction, to manifest our dreams and desires? We talked a little bit about this, but are you talking here about the, vortex, or is the same? Feeling good?

3 steps for working with the Law of Attraction

Ginny: Yeah. The I kind of give three like simple steps in this. We can talk more about them. But the first thing is to ask yourself that question, I’m sure everyone’s familiar with it.

What do I really want? You know, how so let’s say what do I really want? I really want that red Mercedes.
Well, what does it feel like? This is number two. Why does that feel like when you’re driving in it? What does that feel like? And so you’re I what you’re doing is you’re identifying the, vibration, that you think that thing will get you.
And so now step number three is feeling that way activating the feeling that you want. So we tend to think the car is going to bring us the feeling, but when we’re leveraging, the Law of Attraction, we have the power to activate the feeling and then, the law of attraction, can bring us the car. So how would you say that that it feels to be driving in that red Mercedes?

Myrna: I visualize it. I try to, visualize, my hand on the steering wheel.

I, visualize, the smell.
I visualize the sound that’s coming through the radio.
I visualize driving down the road in a convertible and the wind is blowing my hair

Ginny: What’s the emotion there? What’s that emotion when you’re visualizing all that? What are you feeling? Is it like freedom? Joy, happiness, contentment, like what’s the what’s the emotion there?

Emotions and the law of attraction

Myrna: Well, my emotion is feelings of abundance and Success. I am feeling good.

Ginny: So, then that’s what you take into step three. You want the red Mercedes if makes you feel successful, abundant, and free. When we identify with the feelings and, emotions, now, we can go straight to it. Now we can start feeling that success on purpose. And we start directing our thoughts to make us feel successful. And then the car can come in because we’re in alignment with the feeling of success.

Myrna: I hear every coach talking about walking in it before you receive it. They’re not necessarily saying it’s, Law of Attraction.

Ginny: Another fun thing about, the Law of Attraction, is it is everywhere. In all the teachings everywhere. It’s in the Bible. It’s just not always called, the Law of Attraction.

Myrna: In the Bible is called faith.

Ginny: Exactly, yes. Faith is in prayer.

The Law of Attraction, doesn’t. play favorites. It doesn’t want what’s good for you. It just responds to your, vibration. it’s not pulling you one way saying, hey, this is your path come here. That’s not, the Law of Attraction. The Law of Attraction, only operates in this physical world and is just responding so it doesn’t care. If you feel happy about this or sad about this. It’s just going to respond to how you feel about something.

Everything is vibrating at a frequency

So, like we talked about earlier, vibration, is just energy. It’s just like electricity, it’s energy. And we interpret, vibrations, through our emotions. There’s an emotional scale. So, the same as there’s a frequency scale of energy, measured in Hertz from zero Hertz to 1000 hertz. Our, vibration, is very similar. It’s just a measure of that frequency.

And so there’s low frequencies and there’s high frequencies, and our, emotions, match up. Our lower frequency, emotions, are those like fear and guilt and sadness. Our higher frequency, emotions, are the happiness, the joy, the hopefulness, those kinds of, emotions. How we feel is our interpretation of the, vibration, we are emitting and what, Law of Attraction, is attracted to.

Myrna: All right. I was reading something new today and it made me aware that everything is vibrating at an, energy, the walls in your house, the bed that you sleep in, the trees in nature, the rocks all are vibrating at an energy frequency. When I go to the park, I sit on rocks because the rock is vibrating. I’m trying to blend with the, vibrational frequency, of the rock.

Ginny: That’s why we feel so good in nature, because nature is connected to source, what you are talking about is Alignment. Alignment is when your emotions are like in alignment with our God Self, or our Source self, that nonphysical part of us. And so, when there’s alignment between how we’re thinking and feeling, and that other part of us we feel good.

Nature, animals, they stay in this mostly connected place. That’s why we love to be around them. They’re just unconditional love pouring through. That’s why it feels so peaceful to be in nature is because we’re literally surrounded by these, vibrations, that are all in alignment.

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A champion’s Mindset

Myrna: Tell us about your book “A Champion’s Mindset.” I know that your first book that you read from Abraham Hicks was regarding emotions, but she also talks about the, vortex, tell us about your book.

Ginny: Yeah, my book was exciting to write. I just want people to know that they have the power to create their reality. That’s available for everyone, no matter where you are, where you’re starting, your past anything. We all have this capacity. And so, my book goes over the basics of how to start leveraging this and applying it in your life.

So just like I said, those three steps are in there and there’s a process that that walks you through what’s going on how to start paying attention, and just gives you this understanding. I think one of the biggest things for me that allowed me to step into my power was just knowing how and why I was creating my reality. And so that’s what a champion mindset is about is like helping you understand so that you can be the champion of your own life.

Myrna: Yeah, a champion mindset, right. Of course. This show is all about, you know, transforming your mind.

Ginny: It is when you go from this place of being a victim and not in a bad way, but just feeling like life is happening to us, like we’re the victim. It even pops up for me now occasionally. When I forget, oh, yeah, you can change how you feel about this. Whether it’s the traffic or the weather, we have all these preconceived ideas about why this is happening to me, but we must remember we are the Co-creators of this life.

We get to work with life, that life isn’t just an accident. It’s not just happening to us. And so, we go from this place of victimhood to this place of empowerment. The freedom that comes from that is what is also on a global scale, we need empowered individuals in order for our world to become more peaceful.

You can pick up a copy of the Champion’s Mindset on Amazon or wherever you get your books.

I love to hang out on Instagram @ginnygane my website is www.Ginnygane.com.

Additional Resources

Using the Law of Attraction to Have it All

April 22, 2022

Six Rules of The Mind

In this episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna I want to teach on the, rules of the mind. As humans we are body, mind, and spirit and each one of these entities comes with principles that govern them. The, mind, is the software that controls the body. It is the faculty that is used in imagination, and thought. The phrase you are what you think about most of the time shows how powerful the mind is.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10475139-six-rules-of-the-mind.mp3?download=true

Use positive affirmations to direct the mind

The first, rule of the mind, is language. You can talk to the, mind, using, positive affirmations, and direct the, subconscious mind, to believe what you are saying.

For example, if you are becoming forgetful you can talk to the, mind, with this, affirmation, “I will remember everything I read, I will be like Google, whenever my brain asks me for information my, mind, will go immediately and retrieve that information from the server and answer the question. I will have total recall”

You say this, affirmation, daily until your brain has total recall.

Here are some positive affirmations: I am affirmations

I am love. I am purpose. I am the Universe
I am worthy of what I desire
I can. I will. End of story
I am adventurous. I overcome fears by following my dreams
I feed my spirit. I train my body. I focus my mind.
I am in charge of my life, I am the captain of my ship.
I am the hero of my own life, I can rewrite my story.
I am unique and my journey is unique, I will not compare myself to others.
I am anointed and chosen for this work.
I am worthy
I am enough
I am wealthy and abundant

2. Control the mind with positive thoughts

The, subconscious mind, responds to all thoughts real or imagined. If you fear flying or going into an MRI machine, instead of telling yourself that flying is a death trap or that the MRI machine feels like a coffin, tell your, subconscious mind, that you love the time to yourself in the MRI machine.

Then when you are in the MRI machine, imagine you are on a beach and the clouds are dark because it is about to storm and you so love the storm. Thoughts like these allow you to not think the MRI machine is your coffin, but it is like spending time to yourself on a vacation.

Positive thinking, doesn’t mean that you ignore life’s less pleasant situations. Positive thinking, just means that you approach unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.

Positive thinking, often starts with self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information or expectations due to preconceived ideas of what may happen.

If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is more likely pessimistic. If your thoughts are mostly positive, you’re likely an optimist — someone who practices, positive thinking.

3. The Subconscious mind responds to feelings

The, subconscious mind, responds to feelings not logic. Kids in an orphanage would cry at the end of meals when their plates were taken away because in the past whenever they had a meal, they were not sure when they would get the next meal, and even though they now get 3 meals a day, they still cry when the plate is taken away.

Their minds are still programmed to the feelings of hunger. Research shows that it takes about 2 years to reprogram the brain with new feelings of having all the food they need and that they will get 3 means per day every day. As a Foster mom I never understood this, I would have kids’ horde food, even though they were never hungry.

I was thinking logically. But the brain or mind is not logical. If you come across this scenario, one way to hack this illogical behavior is to put some nuts or snacks in their bag and tell them whenever they are hungry, they will always have something to eat.

4. Your mind is self-fulfilling prophesy.

For example, if you tell your mind that you are a horrible speaker and that you will get up on stage and draw a blank and not remember anything from your presentation, this will surely become a, self-fulfilling prophesy. You will get up on stage and draw a blank and not remember anything.

Instead tell your mind that you are an awesome speaker, you are the best and you know this work inside out and you will get up on stage and your higher self will take over and the words will just flow out. This is the, self-fulfilling prophesy, that you want the, subconscious mind, to produce.

There are two types of, self-fulfilling prophecies: Self-imposed prophecies occur when your own expectations influence your actions. Other-imposed prophecies occur when others’ expectations influence your behavior. All opinions you value can cause this prophecy.

5. If you prepare for the worst, you will manifest it.

Preparing for the worst, makes things worst. For example, a lot of women say they are not going to tell anyone they are pregnant, because they don’t want to feel embarrassed if they miscarry and then they, prepare for the worst, by checking every hour to see if they are spotting.

Never, prepare for the worst, because when you prepare for the worst, it has a way of showing up. Instead prepare to meet your child. Tell your child in the womb that he or she has a purpose and he or she will be born and fulfill that purpose. Tell him or her today your spine is forming, tomorrow your hands and feet will be formed and in 30 weeks you will be born completely healthy and perfect and I can’t wait to meet you.

When your brain is locked in disaster mode, it’s difficult to think with any kind of nuance. You become like one of those doomsday preppers living in fear.

Anxiety narrows your focus and does not allow you to enjoy your pregnancy. You lose the ability to let new facts inform your thinking, or to engage your curiosity about the many ways that things could get better.

6. The mind can’t distinguish between reality and fiction.

The way the brain processes information is fundamentally different when we perceive information from our senses compared to what is self-generated within the mind. What the brain receives from our senses is known as ‘afferent information’ and simply means, information travelling towards the brain.

The brain can self-generate or imagine what is currently happening and this is called an efference copy. When there is a conflict in information between afferent and efferent information, we experience a “surprise”.

So, start visualizing what you want. $50,000 in your bank account, a palatial mansion, a husband and 2 kids, whatever you desire. Tell your, subconscious mind, what you want and it will maneuver the universe and get it to you.

Thanks for tuning into 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna.

Additional Resources

How The Army Train The Mind To Achieve Purpose

April 18, 2022

Bipolar Faith: Dealing with Depression and Faith

In, Bipolar Faith, Dr. Monica A Coleman openly talk about some very personal and intimate details that happened in her life as an evangelical minister. Such as living with, depression, and also being raped by a fellow minister. She shares how that experience effected her faith and why she was angry with God.

Download the Podcast Here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10458691-bipolar-faith-dealing-with-depression-and-faith.mp3?download=true

Bio

Monica A. Coleman is Professor of Africana Studies at the University of Delaware.  She spent over ten years in graduate theological education at Claremont School of Theology and Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago.  Answering her call to ministry at age 19, Dr. Coleman brings her experiences in evangelical Christianity, black church traditions, and indigenous spirituality to her discussions of religion.

Dr. Coleman is the author or editor of six books and several articles that focus on the role of faith in addressing critical social and philosophical issues. Her memoir Bipolar Faith shares her life-long dance with trauma and depression, and how she discovers a new and liberating vision of God. Her book Making a Way Out of No Way is required reading at leading theological schools around the country. Dr. Coleman co-hosts the web series, “Octavia Tried To Tell Us: Parable for Today’s Pandemic.”

 Dr Coleman speaks widely on mental wellness, navigating change, religious diversity, mental wellness, and religious responses to intimate partner violence.

Myrna: How you were called into the ministry at an early age? How did your grandfather influenced you in that?

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My Bipolar Faith story

Dr Monica: In my book, Bipolar Faith, I tell the story of my great grandfather, my maternal grandmother’s father. Whom I’ve never met of course, and his experience as a black man in a small town in South Carolina. The story I tell how he decided to hang himself and had one of my great uncle help him to hang himself. My great grandfather asked my great uncle to pull the chair out from underneath him and allow him to hang.

I did not know this story until I was well into my 20s. So, it wasn’t the story that I was told as a child. Even though many people in the family knew what my grandmother meant when she talked about being orphaned or having her parents die at a very young age. Her mother died from complications with childbirth. And then she said, six months later, my father died. And so, I understand how she came to that conclusion, that there was this deep sadness that leads this kind of activity.

This was actually just part of my family’s story that was talked about in these metaphorical ways, rather than in more direct ways. So, I think it shaped me in the sense of, there was something in me that knew that you could get so sad you will die.

That deep grief kills.

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Grief and faith

And I think this is a kind of backdrop to a lot of the many other things that I ended up talking about in “Bipolar Faith” as it’s my story. I am also hoping that other people see themselves in the story in ways in which, poverty and class and war and sharecropping and the effects of slavery and all types of things, contribute to what we would now call, mental illness.

Being black in America, is very complicated. And a lot of times people aren’t stopping to ask “How do you feel?” And so, a big part of this book is really trying to shine a light on, mental illness. Having people ask,

How are you doing?
How are we feeling?
How are you managing these various things that we know that we all manage?

And so, I would say that’s really where I was going to push through and I think it became a part of my calling whether I was not aware of it all.

It is important to talk about these things, whether that’s around issues of, sexual violence, or, domestic violence, or issues around, depression, and, mental health.

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We inherit mental illness from our ancestors

Myrna: This is so true, we inherit the blessing of our ancestors, and we inherit the, curses, of our ancestors.

Dr Monica: I don’t want to quite use that language of, blessings, and, curses. But yes, we inherit what our ancestors have. We can get the bad stuff and the good stuff, we get the things we would rather live without and we get a lot of their, survival techniques, and their joint, faith, as well. And you know, when I think we you know, so in the fact that we get genetically right isn’t new or knowledge, but the fact that it’s kind of part of who we are and it shapes us and part of our experiences and put up our family stories that we’ve known for a long time.

My great grandfather could have been depressed and that is why he decided to commit suicide, no one was giving a clinical diagnosis of, depression, in that time period. So, what I want to say it’s not about checking the boxes and saying that is what he had, because maybe it was the grief of losing his wife and being like oh, my gosh, I have to take care of these eight, nine kids, that’s overwhelmed for anybody plus sharecropping and, racism. I’m saying I think it’s all of those things. I don’t think you can say, oh, let’s take one out.

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Bipolar faith of Black Women in America

Myrna: I understand the horrible things that our ancestors had to go through. So, you have something like, mental illness, or, depression, or something like that. But this segues right into the next question I have here. You say that, Black women, we’ve been overlooked, black women, in the United States. What do you think, Black women, have been overlooked?

Dr Monica: I’ve seen things change a lot in the last five years, but for the last five to 10 years, there’s so much more conversation. I would say, since the COVID pandemic, everybody’s got some kind of, depression. I mean, we think about how we talk about political movements, and the political activism and the voting power of, black women, and the sense that we’re going to hold it all together, we’re going to raise a family, go to work, do all things.

And oh, by the way, while you’re doing that, there’s I think, still is very much expectation that if you’re able to do the things and handle business and make ends meet, that you’re okay or even better, that you’re better than okay that you’re strong.

There’s very much a sense that if you are a person of, faith, then you should be fine. And you should be okay. You shouldn’t have challenges and problems and we have specific expressions that actually imply that. We all need some help, and I am thrilled to see more of those conversations, but I think they’re still very much sensitive to that.

The Superwoman Syndrome and the Black Woman

Myrna: I got to circle back on that the first one was the, Superwoman, tendency of, black women. And you’re right, black women, they’re raising children and a lot of times there’s no man and so they’re holding down two or three jobs and, and they pride themselves on being, Superwoman. In fact, my mom was one of them. She raised four children by herself, had two or three jobs, I came around and did the same thing. I would say, I can look after my kids, my mom did it, that’s the, Superwoman, tendency that we can do it because we’re strong.

White women, they all have husbands and who may stay home to look after their kids by choice. The second part of a circle back is that you’re saying that the, superwoman, syndrome creates some kind of, mental illness, and, depression, they should go to a doctor and get a checkup. What are you leading to with that?

Dr Monica: My friend and colleague Dr. Chanequa Walker Barnes has written a wonderful book about chocolate the strong black woman is called “Too Heavy A Yoke,” I highly recommend. Whether it’s legacies of war and poverty, these are also the ways in which black families look on legacies of slavery. And in the United States even the enslavement has manifested in parts of the African diaspora in terms of how families are structured. Even the policies and practices around what family structures look like.

Therapy wasn’t always covered by insurance, but I think it’s getting better. There are more, black therapists, and more culturally competent therapists who will understand all that people are bringing in terms of their racialized and gendered experiences.

I was raped by a fellow minister

Myrna: In, Bipolar Faith, you kind of cut yourself open and talk about some, some personal issues and personal things and you’re sharing so you can help others. So, you share some very intimate details of your life, such as living with, depression, yourself and also being raped by a fellow minister. How did that experience effect your, faith? Was there a time where you know you’re angry with God?

Dr. Coleman: I think experiences of deep suffering cause all of us to have, at the very least a hiccup in our, faith, walk. You’re going to have some kind of pain, whether it is the kinds of, traumas, that I discussed. There’s going to be some level of suffering and no one likes it. No one’s ready for it. Nobody wants to suffer. It’s not a part of the human experience that we’re happy about or that we’re going to welcome and say, hey, let’s have some pain here.

There are levels of grief. That’s all part of our life and because our spirituality and our, faith, is part of our life, it’s part of our, faith, as well. And for some people, faith, is very helpful and instrumental and holding them up and they find great resonance in the, faith community, and a lot of support there. But at some point, people don’t ask why me? Why someone I know and love died? I need some answers here.

Crisis of Faith

We act like asking why is a problem like it’s a crisis of, bipolar faith, and you’re not supposed to do it? Why do I have to do this? Why is this happening? Why it’s happening to my people? It’s a very natural part of the spiritual life to ask why. I think what doesn’t happen very often is people don’t always say, you’re going to lose the, faith.

And that’s okay. For a lot of times, there’s a sense that losing your, faith, is the end of the world and it is like heresy or some terrible thing. We’ve all lost, faith, at least once, maybe 2-3-4 times. And it is our responsibility, I would say as a, faith community, to stay with you while you find it again, and to hold the space for you, to walk with you to hold you and bring you food.

Until you and God find your way back to each other or something like that. Because of course we don’t have the same, faith, we had as five-year-olds. We don’t have the same, faith, we had as 15-year-olds, because we’ve seen more and we’ve grown more, we’ve evolved and had different kinds of experiences.

Doesn’t mean I don’t have a relationship with God. I don’t have a, faith community, but that’s not what it looks like anymore. And so yes, it definitely caused me to have some questions and to be angry and to say, what I’ve been taught, is not matching up with what I’m experiencing, and I’m trying to figure this out. So, I kept changing, faith communities, until I found one that was able to hold that space of, faith, for me.

Does Depression follow grief

Myrna: So, my circle back to that is when did you become, depressed?

Dr Monica: I really can’t quite pinpoint when did I become depressed or say Oh, well I have this very deep grief, my grandmother died when I was 13 years old. I named it as, depression. You know, my family negative, depression. I didn’t come up in a context where people were like, Let’s label this as, depression. Let’s give you some therapy. That came much later. But that’s how a lot many black families were in the 70s and 80s. No one said, let’s go to therapy like white people do.

Oh, yes, I can look back and say this was, depression. I felt that there were definitely some challenges and hard places in life. That made me sad, but to me, I was like, well, sadness is the appropriate response to some of these things. And I would later have clinicians say, well, most people feel sad in this way and you seem to be sad in a deeper way. And I’m like, oh, because I don’t know most people only know me from the inside.

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Making a Way out of No Way

In many ways, I would say “Making A Way Out Of No Way” is the theory behind, Bipolar Faith. So, Bipolar Faith, is my story. It’s the story of my family. And I like to think that there is there’s some gray threads that feel like an African American story, it presents like an American story. And I think Making A Way Out Of No Way is the belief system that’s behind, Bipolar Faith. This is what I believe about community, what I believe about salvation and that salvation in the what gets us to heaven.

Salvation is the root word set out to heal, to be evolved and to make us well. Salvation is what I believe helps us to be whole and helps us to do well. And then it is making a way out of no way. But it’s really not no way, it’s just a way we can’t see. And that’s where the God part comes in. It’s, you know, God and hopefully us as you know, as creative people’s humanity and the rest of creation, working together to in the best of worlds to make the world a better place. Transforming creative ways.

Myrna: So that’s great, it’s like, blind faith. Of us knowing that regardless of how bleak it looks right now, that God is going to make a way out of no way tomorrow. Joy comes in the morning kind of thing kind of thing. So, I like that. So, do you feel that your story and, Bipolar Faith, you said that was the foundational principle? Do you feel that that is how your life progressed, that you had the spiritual power, that propelled you along and God always made a way for you to prosper?

Dr Monica: I’m not even sure if I’m prospering, I think I’m doing meaningful and I would even say needful work. Trying to creatively transform what we got, whatever we’ve inherited, into something better. Sometimes it’s great. Sometimes it’s this is what we got to work with, to transform what we have into creative ways. To make the world a better place.

Conclusion Bipolar Faith

Myrna: How can people connect with you and pick up copies of, bipolar faith, and other books?

Dr Monica: You can always pick up a copy at www.bipolarfaith.com. If you go there, you’ll find more than you ever want to know about the book. Find ways to buy it. You can also always call your local bookseller and ask them to order it for you. You can use larger online booksellers, if you prefer. If you go to www.bipolarfaith.com. I do a lot of music in the books. So, you’ll see some playlists there. You’ll see a couple of videos there. You can grab a little bundle I call, behind, bipolar faith, where there’s a workbook available if you want to do this like a reading group, for example.

And you can also hear a couple interviews from a psychiatrist and other, faith leaders, with me about, bipolar faith. You can also go to www.monicaacoleman.com and find more information about me and you can also grab a free devotional. If you go to the homepage, you’ll see a free five-day devotional there. And that’s just my gift to others a little devotional that I use for the spirituality.

Additional Resources

What Are You Patiently Waiting on Almighty God For?