Are you waiting on Love? How Single Women over 40 Find Love

single women over 40

How do, Single Women over 40, find the love they want? How do they prepare themselves in the meantime while waiting on, Love.  Where do they find, single men?

Single women, who are believing God for a partner, can enhance their in the meantime experience by having the right mindset on why they want a partner, what are the best watering holes to find a partner and how to renovate, Love’s house, so that it is ready for Love.

Listen to the full interview here: 

Finding Love Introduction

I think the best, dating advice, is that when, Love’s House, is fully ready for, Love, the right partner will appear.

Dating advice, for, finding love again

  1. Work on being the best you.

Become clear on your strengths and the areas that needs improvements

Eg. Are you a good housekeeper or a good cook; but you lack self-esteem and self-confidence? Then work on improving your self -confidence

  1. Advice for single women, Be clear on why you want a partner
  • Do you want a partner for security or to help pay your bills?
  • Do you want a partner because it is culturally acceptable to be married or in a relationship?
  • Are you looking for a partner to complete you?
  • Or Are you looking for a soulmate and equal partner to share your life?
  • The last one was the perfect answer. Many, single women, and some, single men, are out there looking for a partner that contributes something to their lives; but never consider what they are bringing to the table.  Why would someone choose you?
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Where do you, single women over 40, meet, single men?

The reason that so many, single men, and, single women, are still single is because it is hard to meet people.

Here are the most popular Watering holes for the, single woman.

  1. Church
  2. Bars
  3. Gym
  4. Sports events
  5. Networking events
  6. House parties
  7. Work

Most Christian, single women, would love to meet their spouse or partner in the church; but that is rare because most, single men, in church are using the church as their watering hole!

Bars are the most popular place for, single women under 40,  to meet a man; but here is some, dating advice. Bars have become hookup places for casual sex with no commitment; but in every scenario there are exceptions to the rule and you can, find love,  at a bar.

My daughter had the perfect combination, she met her Fiancé in a club; but he was also from her church!

I met my husband on a train. He was the officer who checked for tickets. The train is definitely not a watering hole; but soul mates will attract each other like a magnet in any place. Gas stations, parking lots, grocery stores, bus stop, anywhere!

I have met past boyfriends at a car wash, by friend introduction, Dance club, school, bus stop, train, and work and they were all committed relationships.

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Finding love again, on Dating Sites

The newest place for, single women, to meet, single men, now are dating sites. The good thing about dating sites is that everyone on the site has the same goal, to meet a partner, or to start, dating, again.

As a realtor I love FSBO (For sale by owner) because they already want to sell their homes.  I don’t have to convince them to sell, only that I am the right agent to sell their homes. Same with the dating site. You don’t have to convince anyone to have a committed relationship, only that you are the one they are looking for.

Dating sites are tough if you are, finding love after a heartbreak, because it would be hard to trust. They are great for, single women over 50, because these women are not in the clubs or other social events.  They are home on their computers.

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My co-host today is Arifah Yusuf, a registered social worker and mental health counselor.

Arifah from a mental health perspective what can, single women, do to make sure they are sending the right vibes to a potential mate? Let’s say they meet someone at one of the many watering holes?

  • It’s really challenging sometimes, when it comes to giving off the right vibes, as different people enter spaces with their own intentions and interest.  It’s important for those that identify as women, to be mindful of their expectations and also have personal boundaries for themselves and others, so when engaging in conversations with, single men,  they can better be aware of the right vibes vs negative vibes, from themselves and others interacting with.  Some key tips, I would give are:
  • Before you try, finding love again, get to know yourself first and understand your past relationships (what worked/ didn’t work). This will help you get ready for a relationship, as you will be better able to recognize what you are looking for and if that relates to signs of a healthy relationship.
  • Some,  dating advice, Go to spaces where you may find someone with similar interest like you, somewhere that you feel comfortable and exudes positive energy. Most likely, you will attract  like minded, single men,   that will give off similar positive energy.
  • Be assertive and clear when communicating. Engage in conversations to discover common interest, identify personal traits.
  • When, dating, be open to new experiences.
  • Know your boundaries and if you feel someone is not respecting them, have your exit and safety plan ready.

These are some of the, dating advice, I would tell  my, single women, clients to keep in mind when thinking about meeting a, single man.

Where did you meet your husband?

  • I met my husband Kevin Mortley while I was working in the entertainment industry as a promoter.  He was also involved in the industry, promoting concerts for artist, and a graphic designer.  He reached out to me online and we had a conversation over the phone.

How do, Single Women, prepare, Love’s House?

Almost 20 years ago, I read a book by Iyanla Vanzant called” In the meantime, finding yourself and the love you want”

The concept of this book is prepare yourself and your life for love while waiting in, Love’s House.

One of the first things I remembered she said was to,

  • Start by living your, single life, like you are already in a relationship.
  • Park on your side in the driveway or garage,
  • Sleep on your side of the bed. Etc.
  • Let the Laws of Attraction work on, finding love again.

You are making room for a partner. But the synopsis of the book is to look at your, single life,  as a 3 story house, complete with a basement and an attic.

She calls this house, Love’s House. Loving yourself in the meantime while you are waiting on, finding love again.

In the basement of, Love’s House, you are pretty miserable. You are hurting, lonely and disillusioned. Your emotions are blame, anger, and fear. But the basement is also a place for healing. For understanding yourself. If you don’t fix yourself in the basement, you will carry that baggage and hurt into your next relationship.

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Arifah how do you help, single women, heal from hurt and blame?

  • Finding love after heartbreak, first fdentify and validate the pain.
  • Express yourself –Talking to a trust friend, family member or counselor is often a good way to soothe painful emotions and support healing.
  • Self care – take a break and find time for things you enjoy or would like to try (creative activities, manicure, hairstyles, movies, journaling, baking etc.)
  • Learn from it – An attitude of learning will help you discover value in the experience. You may also discover a curious new freedom: recovering from an emotional trauma or heartbreak makes you stronger, wiser and more resilient.
  • Reinvest in your new reality. Set goals and write down the steps and supports you need to begin working on them. Spark new energy and interests into your life, to find purpose and love of something else.

On the first floor of , Love’s House, you are no longer miserable and is able to look objectively at why you attract the people in your life that you do. Who are let’s say are emotionally unavailable, abusive, unsupportive etc.

On the second floor of, Love’s House, single women, Love’s house is where you change the dialog from victim to player. You educate yourself to play. You read books on, finding love again, you listen to podcasts on relationships, you start improving yourself, you become the picture card that everyone man wants.

The most important, dating advice  for, single women, on the second floor is that there is nothing wrong with you. You are enough and any man should be happy to have you. Say it until you believe it if you need convincing.

The third floor of, Love’s House,  is when, single women,  are living the, single life, and loving who you are as a, single woman. Content with herself, whole, needing no man to complete her. She is confident, self-sufficient,  courageous and beautiful inside and out.

The top floor is the Attic

In the attic, single women, showers themselves with unconditional Love. Single women over 40,  are able to receive the love of, single men. This is where you will begin to attract the perfect partner because negativity, does not live here.

You know what you want and, who you seek is also seeking you!

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Arifah What, dating advice, you have for, single women, through the phases  of finding themselves in, love’s house.

  • Make sense of your past

In order to thing about, finding love, first uncover who we are and why we act the way we do, we have to know our own story 

  • Differentiate

Differentiation refers to the process of striving to develop a sense of ourselves as independent individuals. In order to find ourselves and fulfill our unique destinies, we must differentiate from destructive interpersonal, familial and societal influences that don’t serve us.

  • Seek meaning

In order to find ourselves and, finding love after a heartbreak, we must all seek out our own personal sense of purpose. This means separating our own point of view from other people’s expectations of us. It means asking ourselves what our values are, what truly matters to us, then following the principles we believe in.

  • Recognize your personal power when, finding love again

When we know what we want, we are challenged to take power over our lives.   We are accepting ourselves as a powerful player in our own destiny. Harnessing our personal power is essential to both finding and becoming ourselves

  • Single women over 50, must silence their critical inner thoughts

This destructive thought process can be made up of a judgmental attitude that tells us we aren’t good enough to succeed or don’t deserve what we want or a soothing-seeming attitude that tells us we don’t have to try or that we need to be taken care of or controlled.

  • Know the value of friendship with, single men

We can seek out people who make us happy, who support what lights us up and who inspire us to feel passionate about our lives. Being friends while, dating, gives you the opportunity to learn things about the person that you may not have learned otherwise

Story of a, single woman, finding love after a heartbreak

In the last episode, I mentioned that I would love the listeners to join my Life coach group on Facebook.  They could ask questions and have myself and other members give them, dating advise.

Here is a question from Mari.  Her husband died last year and she wants, dating advice,  on how to start over. What should she look for in a mate?

As a, life coach, I think that, single women,  starting over or starting out, dating, again should have a list of what they want in a man.

  • It should go deeper than tall, dark and handsome!
  • You should have common interests,
  • be equally yoked,
  • have the same standard of living,
  • same religion,
  • similar sex drive.
  • The list could be lengthy and you are not going to get every thing on  your list but you are shooting for 80%.

Arifah What’s your, Dating Advice, for Mari

Hi Mari, its never easy after a significant loss, or, finding love after heartbreak. There is no starting over, as your husband will still play a role in your lifestory. Moving forward, you want to know what type of role that will be, maybe its pictures in a photo album or another memory keepsake. You need to figure this out, before you move forward, as sometimes we feel guilty, which is normal; but its apart of the grieving process, allow yourself to acknowledge that is what it is and determine what new reality are you hoping for in seeking a mate.

You can start with figuring out what you want, create a love resume for yourself in terms of what would characteristics, interests, you are looking for in that, single man.  Once that’s done, you are half way there to having a mindset and discovering possible spaces or friends your potential mate may visit.

I also got a question on my website. www.myhelps.com/contactus

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

This is a question from our last episode. We talked about fear and courage in our last episode.

How Do I handle the fear of, Dating, Steffy from India. Writes.

All I know is that I’ve a great fear. I’ve some kind of burden in my mind and I am not able to figure it out. I am a, single man,  I wake up in the middle of night and I have these panic attacks and stuff, tried meditation; but I am not able to concentrate. I need advice on, dating. Finding love again. The more I try the more I lose my hopes and start feeling worthless. Please help.

Since this is a mental health question I will let Arifah answer this one.

Hi Steffy, thank you for sharing your lived experience with fear.  It sounds like it is impacting your daily routine and ability to accomplish meaningful goals, such as, finding love. I want to say its common for people that are experiencing anxiety to lose hope, but you not worthless and help is available.

It may be helpful to monitor your daily routine and meals for the day, for example, stress/sugar and caffeine can increase anxiety.   Make an appointment to see your family doctor or at a clinic if you are able too, to share how you are feeling emotionally and physically.  Your doctor can provide professional advice to best help you.

In regards to fear of speaking to, single women, it’s helpful to practice writing down what you want to say, then reading it to yourself out loud or in front a mirror.  If you have friends/family you feel comfortable around and that are supportive, you can also practice public speaking in front of them first to get comfortable before larger crowds.

Breathing exercises and drinking water/herbal teas can be helpful in calming the nerves.  As well, watching videos or reading books from motivational speakers, that may offer tips you may find helpful.

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Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

https://blog.myhelps.us/surviving-r-kelly-mindset-sexual-predator/

How to Heal Your Brokenness

https://news.abs-cbn.com/entertainment/03/28/17/erich-gonzales-im-enjoying-my-single-life

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/05/the-reality-of-life-as-a-single-mom/

https://www.scarymommy.com/dating-a-single-mom/

 

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

no fear just courage

No fear, How do we say goodbye to Fear and live with courage?

What is fear? The first thing we must realize is that FEAR is False evidence appearing real.

Fear is an energy. Created totally in our minds. The energy of fear is powerful.  It can change the quality of lives.

A few years back, I had a guest in my home. When it was time for her to leave, it was dark and she refused to walk out the front door because she was afraid of Frogs jumping on her foot. Now, I have never seen a Frog in my front yard and neither had she; but she must have had an experience of a Frog jumping on her foot and it had traumatized her. So now every time she walks in a yard at dark, she was afraid of Frogs. How can we live with, no fear?

No fear, it is not real
Fear is not real

Now this is an example of a trivial fear but ask yourself. Is fear affecting the quality of your life? What would life be like if you had, no fear?

The problem with fear is that it is the bottom feeder of all emotions, that means that if you have fear in your heart you can’t have:

  • Love,
  • Happiness,
  • Feelings of belonging,
  • Self-reliance,
  • Self-control,
  • Initiative,
  • Ambition,
  • Enthusiasm,
  • or Certainty.
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  • The most common appearances of fear in the, African American Community, are:
  • Fear of poverty
  • Fear of criticism
  • Fear of ill health
  • Fear of loss of love
  • Fear of old age
  • Fear of death

Today Arifah and I are going to look at how Fear shows up in African American families and how it prevents us from living a life of purpose and abundance.

Here are the symptoms of the, Fear of poverty:

  • Willingness to tolerate poverty
  • Acceptance of whatever compensation that life offers without protest.
  • Mental and physical laziness
  • Lack of initiative
  • Lack of imagination
  • Indecision
  • The habit of permitting others to think for you
  • Sitting on the fence of indecision
  • Excuses for not taking initiative
  • Excuses for failures
  • Envy of those who are successful
  • Finding fault with others who are successful

My co-host is Arifah Yusuf, registered social worker, specializing in, mental health. She is the founder and program director of Lifted by Purpose.

Lifted by Purpose Provides a diverse range of services including training, workshops with the intent to engage youth in conversations about mental health and learn practical strategies to cope with life stressors.

Here are Arifah’s experience in working with youth and dealing with, No Fear, Living with Courage

In my experience working with young people, majority of children and youth live with anxiety.   The anxiety impacts their relationships to function in socially and or academically.  As well, how they view themselves and their ability to complete tasks or take risks.  Common signs of an anxiety disorder in youth I noticed are:

  • Constantly worrying about grades
  • Always trying to be perfect / Being afraid to make mistakes
  • Not sleeping well
  • Difficulty managing daily tasks and/or distress related to these tasks.
  • Anxious predictions – Worrying about something horrible happening (ie. Being embarrassed or humiliated)
  • Anxious thoughts “ I’m out of control, I can’t do this”
  • Avoiding friends or social situations and activities
  • Being afraid of speaking up and asking questions in class
  • Blanking out or freezing up in stressful situation
  • Safety behaviors (habits to minimize anxiety and feel “safer,” e.g., always travelling with a friend or have cell phone in their hand)
  • Excessive physical reactions relative to the context (e.g., heart racing and feeling short of breath in response to certain spaces or when they see certain individuals)

Anxiety is the most common disorder in Canada.  2.6% of Canadians aged 15 and older reported symptoms consistent with generalized anxiety disorder, an anxiety disorder characterized by a pattern of frequent, persistent worry and excessive anxiety about several events or activities.

According to the Anxiety Disorders Association of Canada, “the 12 month prevalence for any anxiety disorder is over 12% and one in four Canadians (25%) will have at least one anxiety disorder in their lifetime”.

No fear living with courage
No fear living with courage

Seven Major types of Anxiety Disorders:

  • Agoraphobia,
  • generalized anxiety,
  • specific phobia,
  • panic disorder,
  • social anxiety
  • separation anxiety
  • selective Mutism.

(ie. Selective Mutism is a complex childhood anxiety disorder characterized by a child’s inability to speak and communicate effectively in select social settings, such as school. These children are able to speak and communicate in settings where they are comfortable, secure, and relaxed)

Other Anxiety Disorders:

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders (obsessive-compulsive disorder, body dysmorphic disorder, hoarding disorder, trichotillomania, and excoriation disorder).

Trauma and Stressor-Related Disorders(reactive attachment disorder, dis-inhibited social engagement disorder, PTSD, acute stress disorder, and adjustment disorder).

 

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No Fear, means Living with Courage: How do we define courage?

Aristotle believed courage to be the most important quality in a man or woman. “Courage is the first of human virtues because it makes all others possible,”

How do you build your courage character?

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  1. Practice courageous acts.

To build a courageous character, with, no fear, the muscle of courage must be continually strengthened. Aristotle, the ancient philosopher who focused most on courage, said that we develop courage by performing courageous acts. Recent psychological research also suggests that courage is an ethical habit that we develop by repeatedly practicing acts of bravery.

Let me share a personal story with you, that helped me develop courage and have, no fear.

Years ago I was living in the United States as a temporary resident as a Canadian Citizen.  I was married and my husband sponsored me and applied for me to become a permanent resident. Before my application was finalized, My brother was getting married in Toronto, Canada and I just upped and left the country for the weekend to attend my brothers wedding.

When I tried to return to the USA, a few days later, border patrol  asked me for my Advance Parole documents.  I told them I never applied for Advanced Parole.  This is a document that gives you permission to leave the country while you have a pending application.   The border patrol told me that I had voluntarily abandoned my application by leaving the country and that my husband had to apply again.  He also told me I would have to stay in Canada for approximately 2 years while my new application was processed. To date that was one of my darkest days!

Then because he knew that as a Canadian Citizen, I could come back into the country at any time as a visitor, he added that if I tried to sneak back into the country as a visitor and I got caught, I would get a 10 year ban from entering the United states.

I returned back to Canada, and for a week I weighed all my options. I had a husband in the USA, my daughter was in school in the USA, I had a good job in the USA.  I decided I had to take the risk of returning to the USA as a Canadian visitor.

So I strapped on some courage, and made myself have, no fear, rented a car and drove myself over the border alone because I did not want to implicate any of my family members.

I drove up to the border patrol with, no fear, and as calmly and as courageous as a dove, I told him that I was going to Buffalo to pick up my husband from the airport.  He asked me if I had anything to declare, I said no and he  and waved me through!

I would tell you that after that incident, I look fear in the face every time and do it anyway. That is how I started to build my courage muscle having, no fear.

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Arifah, do you have a story to share of a time you had to look fear in the eye but do it anyway?

This is a good time to introduce a question I received on my Life coach group on Facebook. I would like for my listeners to join that group.  It is a forum to ask questions regarding your current struggles and get answers from me and the group.

This is a question from Mari: How do I have, no fear, to stop bullying

I really need some advice, I have a lot on my plate right now. I lost the love of my life. In December and since I moved in with my dad and brother I have been picking up after them. Folding their clothes. And they make me out to be their maid. I have paid money to have the house clean and it gets messy by the second day. Now since I’ve moved here my brother has been bullying me. He calls me little girl. Saying I’ll never make it on my own. Saying he feels sorry for me. Calls me a retard. Saying I act like a 12 year old. Says I don’t clean up after myself when I have been picking up after them both. Saying I’m a bitch. Calls me dumb ass. The list goes on but I’m trying to get an apartment and I don’t wish nothing bad on him but If he will ever be homeless I’m not going to put up with this. I thought of suicide but hell no!!! I’m just tired of him bullying me.

Arifah, what advice would you give Mari?

As a Life Coach, here are my steps for having, no fear, and building courage.

Exercise and meditation both have the power to lower stress levels and reduce feelings of depression and anxiety, which could help you to act more courageously in the face of challenges.

This is a meditation practice  I use every day to  build my courage character. It is from the Tibethan Monk Dandipanni

  • Sit quietly and start witnessing your breathe
  • Be aware of the air as it enters your nostrils and follow it all the way down to your belly.
  • Hold your breathe for a few seconds and then breathe out, once again follow your breathe as it exits your nostrils.
  • Do this for 3 breaths
  • Now become aware of your feet on the ground. Focus your attention on your big toe on your left foot. Feel the energy in your left toe as it becomes warm. Now keep your attention on your left foot and feel the energy as it climbs through your feet, ankles, calf, knees, quads, hips. Move this energy into your spine and hold it there.
  • Repeat this with your right foot, left arm and then right arm.
  • Hold the energy that you directed from all your limbs into your spine and now think about a courageous act. I think of the courageous act I just shared with you.  Your energy body is now infused with courage.
  • Now send this energy back to your right arm, left arm, right foot and left foot.

This is how you build your courageous body and have, no fear!

Additional Resources:

https://blog.myhelps.us/principle-4-have-a-positive-mind-set/

https://blog.myhelps.us/who-is-tending-your-mind-garden/

How to Heal Your Brokenness

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/conquering-fear_n_3909020

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2015/05/22/nothing-to-fear-how-to-find-courage-when-you-need-it-most/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.43ce47fdd4e3

How to Build your Self-Confidence Muscle

So What is, self- confidence? How do we define, self- confidence, and what does it look like?

Self-confidence, comes from building your confidence muscle. It increases with positive input from your parents, peers, loved ones and from your personal victories.

Today’s episode is supported by Columbus Financial.  Are you in a deep hole of “Financial Depression” with nowhere to turn for help? Constantly being harassed by collection agencies? Then visit Columbus Financial and success coach. www.columbusfinancialcoach.com

In Today’s #podcast  Arifah and I are talking on the topic of How to build, Self-confidence, we want to  shed some light on one of the top struggles of , African American women,  self-confidence,

In the co-host chair today is registered, social worker and mental health counselor, Ms Arifah Yusuf.

How to Build Self Confidence
How to Build Self Confidence

What is Self-Confidence?

The most important thing to remember about, self- confidence, is that we were born with it. It is our natural state.

How many of you remember your play days as kids? As a child I was always the doctor or teacher.

Boys have no fear. They would climb to the tallest point in their home, put on a cape and jump! They were Superman!

So I would define, self- confidence, as certainty. Confident and certain that you are able to handle your job, your family, social events and personal relationships.

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How do you build, self-confidence?

Self-confidence, comes from building your confidence muscle. It increases with positive input from your parents, peers, loved ones and from your personal victories.

But a large percentage of, African American women,  and men suffer from a lack of, self-confidence, because of negative input from parents, peers, and loved ones.

Usually centered on their intellect, the color of their skin, their hair, their lips, their butt, the section of town they live, their lack of designer clothing, and the list goes on.

It is important to note that lack of, self-confidence, always comes from negative comments that you believe. If you don’t let these negative comments in, they will never take root and grow.

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Here is a story showcasing how a lack of, self-confidence,  usually starts.

A surgeon opened his office one day and found a tall black man in the waiting room. He was six feet four inches tall and towered over the surgeon. He complained about his lip. You see his underlip protruded out from his top lip. His girlfriend told him she was ashamed to be seen in public with him because of his ugly lip; so he came to the surgeon to get it fixed.

The surgeon told him there was nothing wrong with his lip, it was just a minor protrusion. The black man insisted on getting it fixed; so the surgeon gave him an outrageous price of $1200 hoping he would go away.

He did, he said that he didn’t have that kind of money. But lo and behold, he came back the next day with a little black bag in his hand. He dumped the contents on the table. Bills poured out, his life savings; $1200 worth!

The doctor was shocked. He didn’t want to deprive the man of his life savings so he made him an offer. He agreed to do the surgery for a smaller fee on the condition that he tell his lady love that he paid $1200 for the surgery.

The operation was simple enough and one week later all the bandages came off and the man had a smaller lip he was proud of. All the surgery was done inside the lip so he had no visible scars except for a small scar inside the lip. The man was happy, he strode from the doctor’s office full of, self-confidence, A commanding figure. Tall, black and proud.

However a few weeks later he was back in the surgeon’s  office. His body seemed to have shrunk, his hands lost their strength, his voice squeaked. The doctor asked him what happened to him.

He said “the African Bug, sir. It got me and it’s killing me”

He told the doctor after he removed the bandages he went to see his lady love. She loved his lip and asked him how much he paid for the surgery.  When he told her $1200, she became enraged and cursed him saying she could have used that $1200 and accused him of hiding the money from her. She cursed him and told him he would die.

Deeply troubled and hurt, the man laid in his bed for 4 days worrying  about this curse that was going to kill him. Then running his tongue around, he discovered the horrible thing inside his mouth. He went to see a medical doctor who checked his mouth and confirmed that “the slimy African bug was stuck inside his mouth and it was indeed killing him.

The surgeon looked at this diminished and fearful man and asked him “Is it really in your mouth?”

“Yes sir,” the man said “the doctor tried to help get rid of it with liquids, pastes and potions – but nothing worked. The curse is too strong”. It’s burned inside my lip.

“Your lip?”

“Yes sir” the man said

“You didn’t say lip before”

The doctor ran his finger at the back of the man’s lip and told the disbelieving man that “the bug” was no more than scar tissue from his surgery.

The disbelieving man looked up in wonder and asked “then there is no African bug?”

The man stood up. Instantly he seemed to have regained his full height and strength. A rich smile spread over his face and his voice boomed out again. His, self-confidence, had returned.

The moral of this story is that you can’t get your, self-confidence, from other people. You have to take inventory of your strengths and weaknesses and deal with them on your own terms.

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Let’s bring Arifah into this, self-confidence, conversation. Arifah is a, registered social worker, specializing in, mental health issues. She is the founder and program director of Lifted by Purpose.

Lifted by Purpose Provides a diverse range of services including training, workshops with the intent to engage youth in conversations about mental health and learn practical strategies to cope with life stressors.

Arifah I am sure that a large population of your clients suffer from a lack of, self-confidence, Why do you think that is?

I think there are many reasons young people lack, self-confidence, I often work with young people who experienced unhappy childhoods or maybe their parents neglected them in some way or they weren’t involved much in their lives.

Also I’d say lack of, self -confidence, sometimes comes from negative input from teachers or authority figures in their lives. Sometimes teachers have a way of saying things that discourage young people.  Making them feel inadequate made and like they couldn’t be successful.  That kind of influenced how they feel about themselves and their, self-confidence, I’d also say young people who have experienced trauma or bullying from their peers can obviously influence their, self-confidence,

I believe that when young people don’t value themselves and sometimes that comes from people not validating them, they often lack, self-confidence,

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iHeart Radio

How to Build Your Self-Confidence through Courageous acts

As a, life coach, I believe that Courage is a byproduct of, self confidence,

It takes courage to walk up on stage and speak to an audience large or small.

It takes courage to call that guy you like and ask him out.

It takes courage to go into that interview even though you have no idea what you are going to say.

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So how do you make yourself, Face the Fear, but do it anyway?

Tell yourself that it is not going to kill you.

My grandmother used to say “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”

And that’s exactly what, Feeling the fear but doing it anyway does for you. It makes you stronger, it builds your, self-confidence, muscle because even if you bombed you got practice and practice also makes perfect!

Here are my steps to build your, self-confidence, muscle on public speaking or doing a presentation at work.

  1. You can start by writing out your speech word for word and just read it
  2. Then as you get more, self- confidence, and your brain recorded that you did not die, you weren’t booed off the stage, nobody laughed at you.
  3. So the next step is to write out the headlines and speak from the heart on your headlines
  4. Sooner or later you will have, self- confidence, muscles like Arnold Schwarzenegger or Tony Robbins and command the attention of the audience.

Arifah What are your steps to building the, self-confidence, muscle?

I find that it  wasn’t only their, self-confidence muscle,  that needed to be built up, it was their self-worth,  it was a whole bunch of things there was all built into the one thing.  If we were to put a label on it,  it would be that we’re not enough.

You would not believe how many people feel that they are not enough;  even the most successful

people like, Michelle Obama, in her book “Becoming Michelle Obama” felt that she wasn’t good enough.  Why did she feel that way?  Because she was black and from the south side of Chicago!

As, African American women,  we have got a lot of things that we have to deal with, we just have to believe that we are all born with purpose and with the love of God.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GetiPNOx9dU

I have seven steps that I use to help my clients gain, self-confidence:

  1. Self-reflection – every time I meet with them, I allow them to self-reflect on their day self-reflect on things that were happening in their lives with gratitude.
  2. Acknowledgement and self-acceptance – what makes them unique because everybody is unique.
  3. Positive reinforcement – praising their effort and not obsessing over mistakes.
  4. Mastering a skill – I had the girls work on a project. They created their own YouTube video. Everyone mastered a skill in the production of the video.
  5. Communication skills – I do a lot of exercises around different forms of communication. Assertiveness,  passive, passive aggressive etc.
  6. Positive self-talk and affirmations – paying attention to their internal dialogue
  7. Pay it forward – giving back helps build, self-confidence,

To listen to the full Podcast audio, download on your favorite podcast player.

Download on the following podcast players and please remember to subscribe, rate and review if you found this content helpful.

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Additional Resources:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/joyburnford/2019/01/08/confidence-one-more-muscle-to-exercise-this-year/

 

How to Raise your Self-esteem by Erasing Self Doubt

How to Heal Your Brokenness

How to Heal Brokenness

My pastor taught a sermon on, brokenness, a few months back, and he made the analogy of a, broken, vase.  He said that a, broken, or cracked vase cannot hold any content, everything leaks out. We must heal our, brokenness if we are going to hold love, self-esteem, self-worth, or confidence.

Certified Life coach, Myrna Young and registered social worker, Arifah Yusaf discuss, How to Heal your Brokenness,

The LORD is near to the, broken hearted, And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

 

In this blog and podcast here are some of the mental health topics we will be discussing every week.  We want to discuss real life issues and struggles of the, minority woman:

Brokenness
Brokenness

Lets start with, How to Heal your Brokenness,

My pastor taught a sermon on, brokenness, a few months back, and he made the analogy of a, broken, vase.  He said that a, broken, or cracked vase cannot hold any content, everything leaks out.  That means that if you are, broken hearted,

  • you cannot hold love,
  • you cannot hold appreciation,
  • you cannot hold compliments,
  • you are incapable of receiving and holding anything.

So it is very important for us to find our cracks and mend them.  As, minority women, most of us have experienced some, brokenness, in our lives.

Here are the top 3 reasons for, Brokenness:

  1. Devalued and rejected by others
  2. Abandoned by our parents
  3. Feelings of not being good enough because we have lack.

 How do we Heal, brokenness?

I know in our practice of social work and in psychology, a lot of clinical professionals, look at the research study around ACES which is our first childhood experiences.

That study basically states that childhood experiences before the age of 18, whether that be witnessing abuse or being abused themselves, living in poverty or just going through traumatic events; Those experiences impact their, brokenness, as they grow up into adulthood.  It may impact how they maneuver through success or how they view themselves as  failures.

These experience are also linked to risky health behaviors, chronic health conditions, low life potential and even early death.

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TuneIn Radio

Myrna Young, Life Coach, I agree that risky behaviors from, brokenness, usually means an absence of self-love and that can definitely lead to early death.

I am going to niche down in our conversation today to address women of color and, minority women, because that’s who we are.

As women we can be, broken, both in our childhood and by narcissistic men in our adult lives, who have rejected us or devalued us.

Our, brokenness, becomes compared with the, broken hearted.   Also when we experience, brokenness, as children those experiences can leads us to get into unhealthy relationships.    Healing our, brokenness,  prevents us from repeating this pattern of unhealthy relationships that would leave us, broken hearted.

It takes work to heal our cracks.  The first step in coaching is to identify how you became, broken, and then replace your subconscious programming with a new program similar to writing over a CD disk.

 

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How to heal the, Broken Hearted

  1. Acknowledge that you are, broken
  2. Follow the pain – pay attention to where it hurts
  3. Trust outside eyes. Have close trusted friends to tell you what they see. This can also be a, life coach, who can uncover your blind spots.
  4. Allow love to mold you like the potter molds clay.
  5. Pray and meditate on the fruits of the spirit, peace, joy, love

Here is a story on, How we become broken, and the process of healing.

Arifah – In my years of practice, I obviously had a lot of opportunities to engage young people who have expressed feeling, broken, based on their lived experiences or their adverse childhood experiences.  As we talked about earlier in the segment, those experiences impact how they view themselves,  how they show up in relationships, in their place within society or their environments.

I recall speaking with this young woman who shared witnessing domestic abuse at home.  She actually found her mother’s body when she came home from school one day. She was then placed into the foster care system.  At 18 years old having nowhere to go, she was placed into a shelter.  I remember her telling me that she really struggled with her identity and her self-esteem.  She harbored resentment towards her family because nobody had come to claim her in Foster care which magnified her, brokenness.

In her late teens she became pregnant and wanted to connect with her family; because she was starting to feel isolated and she wanted her child to know more about her family history. But she faced rejection once more. She decided that it was all up to her, to make a difference in her child’s life.

She then stared setting small goals for herself and accomplishing them.  That started building her self-esteem until she recovered from her, brokenness. She became more engaged in her community and connected with other single mothers. She stopped blaming others or comparing herself to others and continued her healing process.

She decided to develop a plan with a network of positive healthy people. Eventually  she stopped defining herself as, broken, because she realized that she really could make a difference in the life of her child. It was all up to her, no one else.  Like the analogy of the broken vase, she couldn’t hold self-esteem, or self-worth, as a broken vessel, everything leaked out. When she became whole everything stayed in.  That is, how to heal your brokenness,

Free Gift

Free Download: Out of the Snares, How to Heal your Brokenness
Out of the Snares

As a gift to my radio and podcast audience and you my Blog readers, I want to give you a FREE COPY of my book Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement.

My purpose in writing this book was to share with my readers the power of intention as the energy in my life. This book is my testimony on how I overcame my, brokenness.

All my life I have been called lucky; but there is no such thing as luck just positive energy and preparation.

As women we sometimes fail because we are always working; but not On their lives. We instead work in our lives. To succeed your commitment to your own personal growth must parallel your commitment to building remarkable lives for yourself and your children.

After you read my book and become inspired by my story of success after starting out with nothing and healing my, brokenness, I would like to Help you get off the starting block with the most unbelievable coaching offer ever made!

If you are interested in doing something remarkable with your life and escape the Snares of failure from, broken relationships, broken marriages,  by moving your dreams from your head into your hands, then download your FREE book and purchase my coaching package.

You will never get a better chance to invest in you. I believe that you are worth it. Don’t you?

To reach out to Arifah Yusaf at Lifted by Purpose head over to her web site https://liftedbypurpose.com/

Remember to download and subscribe on your favorite podcast player, iTunes, Spotify, Soundcloud, Google Play, iHeart radio

Additional Resources:

The Weight of the Cape: Why Am I Afraid to be Broken?

https://myhelps.us/personal-development-podcast/

https://blog.myhelps.us/become-life-coach/

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-lifted-by-your-purpose/

How to Find your Passion, Purpose and Freedom as a Mompreneur

Are you a stay at home mom? Why not become a, mompreneur?  Allison Lancaster, lifestyle blogger and, mompreneur, shares how to start and grow your business along with your babies.

Today on the, Transform your Mind, to Transform your Life radio show and podcast. I interview Allison Lancaster. Allison is a mom, wife and six-figure business owner. She started her business in 2016 after giving birth to her first son, who spent 2 weeks in the NICU. She has since grown not only a lifestyle blogger; but has become a trusted online business manager for entrepreneurs who are seeking to find purpose, passion & freedom as a, mompreneur. Allison’s passion project is teaching other moms how to become work at home moms so that they can grow their business along with their babies.

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Allison How did you go about deciding to be a Mompreneur?

The entire time I was pregnant with my son, I had decided to go back to work. We had a daycare picked out and everything.  But I think going through the NICU experience and  just becoming a new mom, that’s a huge life change.  Whether you’re an NICU mom or not.  I can remember one day that just sticks out in my mind, my son was about two months old, my maternity leave was dwindling down and I could just remember sitting looking at my baby and just crying.  I didn’t want to leave him to go back to work.

Myrna: So you fell in love and couldn’t bear to part with your baby!

I’ve always had kind of an entrepreneurial spirit.  I had my own business as a wedding planner and always had a side hustle. I have always wanted to have my own business. So when I decided to be a, mompreneur,  I started just researching like a mad person on Google for ideas.  I started out by buying things from Walmart on clearance and then trying to sell them on Amazon, which some people make great business out of;  but I just could not do it.

So I considered what I am good at.  I clarified my strengths. Writing has always been a passion of mine, so I decided I’ll just start a, mompreneur, blog.

I really didn’t think that it would be any sort of a career.  It was just something I used as an outlet.

Allison Lancaster, mompreneur
Allison Lancaster, mompreneur

How did you build your Business as a, Mompreneur?

The, NICU experience, was really kind of a traumatic birth experience; so I decided to download by writing about it and maybe helping other NICU moms.

The, NICU experience,  is a different kind of experience from a regular birth. I mean you don’t get to hold your baby for days, possibly weeks and you’re separated from him or her and you have to watch them being fed by tubes. It is both a traumatic and terrifying experience.

Other, NICU moms,  started sharing their experience and it was powerful.. My blog was very quickly picked up and syndicated by a large parenting website.

I joined some blogging groups on Facebook and I found this amazing community of bloggers who were very receptive and helpful.

Then I started promoting my blog on Pinterest, just kind of pinning it just to see what would happen.  My content very quickly gained traction had I had some viral pins.

Then friends started to reach out to me and there they were like, hey you’re doing really well on Pinterest.  You’re being syndicated in all of these places.  What are you doing and how can you help us?

So that’s really kind of where the online business management side of my business was born.

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How did you Grow your, Mompreneur, Business along with your Babies?

I took on one client and then they referred me and here we are some 50 or more clients later.

Myrna:  Wow yeah I have a blog ( this one!) and my blog did not take off!  I have never been syndicated and I have yet to figure out what Pinterest does!  So you’re doing great. Why do you thing you were so successful so quickly?

It has come full circle.  Initially I would have said it was the marketing pieces of it and the website building and things like that. But late last year I noticed a shift.  People wanted to hear about the nuts and bolts of running a business and that is what I blogged about.

Today I kind of talk about everything, I call it a lifestyle blog. I share a lot of my grandmother’s recipes.  I’m a southern girl and we like our food.  I share a lot of parenting kind of tips and advice too. I have 2 kids now.  A 3 year old and a 9 month old.  As they’re growing, things that I’m learning and discovering, I share.

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iHeart Radio

How to Find your Passion, Purpose and Freedom as a, Mompreneur

Mompreneurs, are women entrepreneurs who just happens to be moms as well. A lot of, mompreneurs, started their  businesses because they wanted the freedom to stay at home with their babies, or the freedom to travel or whatever kind of freedom they are looking for.

I have started very recently a free course for, mompreneurs,  who want to become virtual Assistants.  Mompreneurs, who want to stay home with their babies and don’t necessarily want to sell a product or create a product. I want to teach them how they can start a business offering  virtual assistant services.  We all have marketable skills whether that’s accounting, bookkeeping or marketing. I kind of coach them through the process.

Most, mompreneurs, don’t even remember what their purpose was in starting their business. They just wanted to see the light at the end of the tunnel. So I do a lot of business strategizing with clients. I ask them what is your five-year plan for your business?

Why did you start your business, was it to stay at home with your babies or was it to travel?

Then I ask them. Are you seeing those things in your business right now?  If not why?

I teach, mompreneurs, to find their passion and purpose by doing what they love.

I think it’s different for every person; but there’s just a lot of questions and kind of deep-diving and soul-searching that you have to do.  We have to do it consistently, not just in the beginning or in the middle of your business.  It’s a daily thing. Ask yourself,  how does this task fit into my bigger plan and my bigger purpose?

Listen to the full interview by clicking the link below or by downloading and subscribing to your favorite podcast player.

Now on Podbean, CastboxDeezer, Google PlaySpotify, Soundcloud, and Stitcher, iHeart Radio, TuneIn Radio

Additional Resources:

https://blog.myhelps.us/the-quest-for-purpose-six-holistic-ways-finding-purpose/

Ask Coach Myrna: How to Start Over?

12 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Thrive As a Stay-At-Home Mom

Stay at Home Mom Help: 12 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Thrive

How to Create and Produce Podcasts that Entertain, Empower and Engage Audiences

Ginni Saraswati, award winning journalist shares How to, Create and Produce Podcasts, that Entertain, Empower and Engage Audiences.

  • Ginni is an award-winning journalist and host of the Ginni Show, Comedy & Connectivity. In this episode Ginni shares how podcasters can, create and produce, entertaining shows by understanding what they are good at.  How podcasters can use their strengths to engage and entertain audiences.

Excerpt from the interview

Ginni, I was reading in your bio that you’ve got a great radio story. It is an inspiration to all those radio personalities out there that are toiling for no pay!

My story well it is an interesting one, because I was in my second year in university studying creative art.  There’s was a radio station in Melbourne, the city I grew up in Australia.  They had a course going for people who wanted to learn everything about radio.  The station was joy 94.9 which was Australia’s first and only LGBT radio station, and I think only one of three in the world at that time.  Anyway I applied for the course and I got accepted.

That’s when my life changed. I was more looking to do producer type stuff.  I didn’t want to literally get behind the microphone.  I knew a couple of things would change if I were to get behind the microphone of an LGBT radio station.  I was completely afraid that this would automatically out me to everyone. I had not yet come out that I was gay.

How did you Transition from radio to, Creating and Producing podcasts?

I knew that radio and now podcasting is an intimate space, because people generally listen to radio or podcasts on their own.  It’s not something that you go “hey it’s Friday night let’s go to my place and listen to a podcast!”  Podcast listeners are listening to a radio or an external device and it’s within a meter away from them or it’s right in their ears. So it’s a very intimate space,  that’s why it’s so impactful and why podcasting has become so popular.

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How to, Create and Produce Podcasts, that you can monetize?

There is a lot of money in podcasting. Advertisers are getting a lot back from Ads because of the intimacy of the medium.

  • 45 Percent of Podcast Listeners Have a Household Income of $75,000 or More

Podcast listeners are a relatively affluent group. Compared to America as a whole, monthly podcast listeners are 29 percent more likely to have a HHI of $75,000 or more. Combined with the large ratio of podcast listeners in the coveted 25 to 54 demographic, this is why advertisers are starting to seek out podcast sponsorship opportunities.

  • 85 Percent of Podcast Listeners Have Attended College

Podcast listeners are also an educated group, as they are nearly 20 percent more likely to have attended college at some point, compared to the U.S. population as a whole. And among people who have secured a four-year college degree, the difference is even more striking, with podcast listeners 40 percent more likely to have done so.

The perfect medium for advertisers. Podcasts are very educational, it’s like you know the audio version of YouTube! Anything you want to learn, there’s a podcast that can teach you whatever you want to learn.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

How to, Create and Produce podcasts, with Radio experience

I found inspiration in the part of your story about working for 10 years on the radio for no pay!

Yes, when I first got into morning radio, we started at 6:00 am, so I got up at 4:30 am, no matter what I did the night before.  That’s how much I loved radio. It did take a good 10 years of hustle, getting up early, staying back late.  The first time I got on the radio, I got the graveyard shift from 11:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m., which meant I was getting to bed like 2:30 am or 3:00 am, and then on the reverse, when I got the morning show, I had to get up at 4:30 a.m. to make sure I was there for 6.00 am.  It did take a lot of hard work; but you know no pain, no gain.  Let’s remember nothing comes free.  I don’t think you can do anything great that you don’t build up.  It does take a lot of work and consistency to build anything great.

I worked for free for 10 years; but you know it was the most rewarding experience in my life. I got to meet and interview amazing people and make strong connections.

Mel Robbins tells the story as well about working on radio for free and you almost losing her house because she was not making any money and her husband’s business wasn’t doing well.  They almost lost everything.  She tells a powerful story in her book the “Five-second Rule”

She now works for CNN and she’s blown up but it all started with working for free on the radio!

How to, create and produce your own podcast.

On my radio show we started to re-purpose some episodes into podcasts. So I got the idea to start my own podcast because one, the attention was going to podcasts and secondly, I wanted the freedom to talk about what I wanted to talk about.  On the radio you’re regulated, you’re in kind of a regulated industry; you can’t mention or talk about certain things; so there’s no freedom in in radio.

Not so for a podcast. You can talk about anything within reason on a podcast. You can curse, talk about sex or whatever you want. That’s how Genni Media my podcast production company was born. Now  my company Ginni Media is a boutique Podcast Production Company serving the vision of entrepreneurs, celebrities and influential organizations around the world. Specializing in podcast production and content re-purposing, they provide a concierge-style service to ensure your voice is literally being heard where it needs to be.

That’s awesome, if you are reading this and working hard at something and not seeing any fruit, just keep on working and building.  Keep on sowing seeds at some point in time it’s going to grow into a forest.

I was listening to Joel Osteen this morning and he it can take a year, it can take ten years, or it can even take 30 years! You have to have faith.

How did you have the courage to introduce your sexuality on your show even though it was a criminalized act in your home country of Sri Lanka?

Well I kind of lived a bit of a fragmented life back then. My family even though then I was on an a Gay radio station, weren’t exactly aware that I Gay. My mother never questioned me about the content of the show. They didn’t find out until about six or seven years later.  I was doing a TV segment,  I was like about twenty three years old. My sister knew and certain cousins of mine knew,  I didn’t really feel the need to come out because I don’t think it’s necessarily something that needs to be announced, because if you are in a heterosexual relationship, you don’t sit your parents down and tell them. So I was doing this TV segment in Australia on channel 31 at 10:00 p.m. on a Monday night. I didn’t think anyone in my family would be watching a Gay game show program at 10.00 pm on a Monday.  But apparently my auntie and uncle were watching and they heard me say I am Ginni and I am Gay!

How to, create and produce podcasts, that entertain, empower and engage audiences?

Download  to listen to the full interview with Ginni to learn some tips for creating and producing your podcast.

Now on Podbean, CastboxDeezer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, and Stitcher

Please subscribe and leave a review on iTunes Here

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Additional Resources to, create and produce podcast

https://redd.it/b9gqxa

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-a-diamond-by-finding-your-purpose/

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Can Medical Intuitive Readings Talk to your Spirit?

Christine Lang, Medical Intuitive Readings

Medical intuitive readings, connect with, spirit, to helps people find the find cause of their symptoms, so they can heal, thrive and become stress free.

In this episode of the Transform your Mind podcast, Coach Myrna interviews, Christine Lang, Medical intuitive and Psychic.  Christine interacts with, spirit, through, medical intuitive readings, to understand what your spirit is telling you through symptoms.

Introduction Medical Intuitive Readings

Christine How did you Start, medical intuitive readings,  and hearing from Spirit coming from a law background?

I know it’s not your typical path for a lawyer to take that’s for sure.  When I was in law School, I started developing allergies, not asthma, but upper respiratory, runny nose, sneezing, constantly eyes watering,  and it was before the days of allergy medications that were non drowsiness,  so my two options back in those days were to take Benadryl and then drink diet coke all day to stay awake in my law school classes.

So as soon as I graduated law school, I embarked on this study to figure out a cure for my allergies. I made the connection between higher stress levels and worsening  allergy symptoms.

To deal with my stress levels, I started meditating, doing yoga and Tai Chi to slow down my mind, and then I learned to do some energy healing from a Yoga practitioner.

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Before long, I was offering my friends energy treatments. I started to notice that before I gave these treatments, I would know things about their physical symptoms that I shouldn’t have known.  I was hearing a voice. After the third time hearing this voice,  I went upstairs to my room and sat down on my meditation cushion and said “Who am I talking to?” and my spirit said “Welcome Home!  this is who you came here to be.”

Hearing from the Spirit as a, Psychic

I just started crying.  She said I’m going to start teaching you and she started showing me how the body works. She said “this is what the body feels like when there’s blood pressure medication in it,  this is what the kidneys feel like when diabetes is starting.”

She just started teaching me the connection between how we internalize our stress and create weak areas in the body, and how our, spirit, uses our body like a giant answering machine, leaving us messages all the time. That was the start of my, medical intuitive readings, practice.

She taught me how to raise my energy level even higher and hear the other person’s, spirit,  so now when I sit in a, medical intuitive readings, session, I hear my, spirit, and then I also hear the other person’s, spirit.

Your, spirit, is your soul, your essence, your divine essence. Some people call it your higher self. Whatever you call it, it’s been with you from the beginning and knows your whole story.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Explain the, spirit,  body and how it communicates with symptoms in a, medical intuitive reading, session?

Our, spirit, is communicating with us constantly, it’s a constant stream of communication.  Your, spirits’, first preference on how she wants to communicate with you is through your feelings.

We get feelings and feedback from our, spirit, all day long; but in our culture we were taught not to pay attention to our feelings. From kindergarten through college we are taught to suppress our feelings and only rely on our mind and what’s logical.

So your, spirit, will send you these feelings and emotions which we usually push down and ignore. Then our, spirit, start speaking to us through our body because that’s something that will get our attention. Still a lot of people ignore, that is where I come in. In my, medical intuitive readings, I communicate directly with, spirit, and receive the message for my client.

What are some common symptoms that you find in your, medical intuitive readings, that our, spirit,  uses to get our attention?

I would say the most common symptom I see is people with stomach issues; Acid Reflux or other digestive issues.  Your stomach areas is where we tend to store stress that relates to how you see yourself and how you think other people see you.  So when we’re having trouble with how we think we’re being perceived, we’re likely to have insecurities that leads to get some sort of digestive upset stomach.

People say things like, ever since I lost my job I  had food allergies and an upset stomach.  I had acid reflux and GERD.  They are having trouble digesting life and so those are the symptoms that kind of alert you that it’s time to get quiet and still and do some meditation or do some journaling. Something’s to help you make peace with where you are now, so that you can get your power back. Your sense of empowerment to move forward.

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Another common symptom is  throat issues.  For example every time they get sick they lose their voice, they’re always clearing their throat, have a lot of post nasal trap,  or have laryngitis a lot.  These symptoms are the spirit sending the message of fear. Fear of speaking their truth, either because when they were young they were you know told to be quiet all the time or they got in trouble if they said the wrong thing.  It could be that they’re in a romantic relationship or a situation at work where if they speak their truth,  they get punished. I pick up these things in my, medical intuitive readings,

Download to listen to the entire interview and get a road-map to your symptoms and what your, spirit, is trying to tell you.

Please subscribe and post an iTunes review if you found this content informative or inspiring

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Connect With Christine Lang

Christine Lang is a world-renowned energy healer and medical intuitive. She has dedicated her life to assisting people in their journey toward self-healing and empowerment. She does this by helping them understand the ways their bodies absorb stress and negative energies. Over the years, her spiritual healing has guided people toward healthier relationships, helped reduce self-judgment and allowed people to find peace and forgiveness in their lives. She is also the author of The Body Whisperer: Your Symptoms Tell Me Your Truth.

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Additional Resources:

How to Regain Wholeness with, Radionics,

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/

https://www.intuitivehealthsolutions.com/

Have you been FUMBLING IN THE DARK to find the RIGHT SOLUTION for a chronic health condition?

Do you go back and forth between western and traditional medicine … managing “symptoms,” but never finding relief from the condition that keeps you from experiencing your fullest health potential?

Well, the answer is simple. On a physical, emotional, mental or spiritual level there is something going on inside of you. An energetic imbalance may be manifesting on the physical level … or, a physical issue like toxicity is causing you mental and emotional stress.

For example: if you are chronically emotionally stressed about your job, a relationshop or something else, the stress shuts off your body’s healing response and holds you in a ‘fight or flight response.’ When locked in a ‘fight or flight response’ the following symptoms often occur:

  • Abdominal weight gain & difficulty losing weight
  • Reduced muscle mass with increased fat storage
  • Premature aging
  • Weak immune system with slow wound healing
  • Difficulty coping with stress, feeling overwhelmed
  • Anxiety, depression
  • Low energy, especially between 2-4pm
  • Difficulty sleeping or non-restful sleep
  • Poor memory, difficulty concentrating

Spirit, Soul and Body – How God Designed Us

How Nutritional Supplements Help you Achieve Optimum Health

Dr Stephen Lewis Nutritional Supplements
Dr Stephen Lewis Nutritional Supplements

Dr Stephen Lewis says everything begins in the gut.  We have to use, nutritional supplements,  because about 85% of all the minerals in the soil in America are depleted.

In this episode of the Health is Wealth series.  I interview Dr Stephen Lewis. Dr Lewis is the founder of Green Wisdom Health, a company that helps clients achieve optimum health by utilizing extensive, but low cost lab work.

Tell us your journey Dr Lewis to becoming the founder of  Green Wisdom Health.

My daddy died when he was 53 years old and I was 15 years old. It was devastating. I felt that it was something that now I could fix real well with, nutritional supplements, even though according to the FDA, nutritional supplements, does not cure anything!

But today I have been able to put off Dementia in my mother for 25-30 years through the use of, nutritional supplements, We prevented her bones from becoming brittle and easily fractured.  You couldn’t make her fracture a bone at her age because she takes,  nutritional supplements,  My mother was almost 96 years old when she died because of, nutritional supplements,

As a Doctor, I was always more into nutrition than most common practice.  We started doing low-cost lab work and was able to determine a whole lot of what’s was going on in the body.

Nutritional supplements for optimum health
Nutritional supplements for optimum health

For example. My daddy died at 53, nutritional supplements, might have allowed him to live longer.  He had ulcerative colitis or irritable bowel syndrome.  Nutritional supplements, do an incredible job at stopping the leaky gut.

Everything begins in the gut.  I tell people they have to use, nutritional supplements,  because about 85% of all the minerals in the soil in America are depleted.  There is even a Senate document that states that  our foods are devoid of almost all nutrients and that was in 1936! Imagine what it will be today.

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There’s no nutrients in the soil.  People who spend a lot of money for organic is wasting their money. Organic is an improvement only.

How the Thyroid processes, nutritional supplements

If the Thyroid is  not working correctly, nothing in the body is going to work like it should.

The Thyroid is incredibly important, it has a lot to do with whether you’re stressed, have anxiety or depression. It has a lot to do with how your hormones are doing.  It has a lot to do with your digestion or lack of digestion.  How your heart beats etc.

So in my book “The Thyroid Sniper” I list a pretty well-rounded list of the different vitamins and the different minerals and amino acids that can be found in certain, nutritional supplements, that gives you optimum health.

 

Transform your Mind podcast, nutritional supplements

How the proper, nutritional supplements, help us return to optimal health

The proper, nutritional supplements, help us return to optimum health because there is no way we can eat enough to get enough of the nutrients we need in our body, for example just  magnesium alone. There’s no way to get enough magnesium out of your diet. Even our government says that we’re about 94% deficient in magnesium.  But magnesium can help depression, because it facilitates over 300 different enzyme reactions and it also is good for the heart.  It helps many people with arrhythmia, it helps lower blood pressure. You can’t get enough of it out of your diet.

You may also have a B12 deficiency and most, nutritional supplements,  out there will have B12 in it; but it will be the wrong kind so  your body cannot convert it.  Our bodies also don’t make enough digestive enzymes.  I can tell you, if your proteins are low and if your alkaline phosphate is low,  and if your globulin is low or high,  then that points to gastro intestinal inflammation.  Keep in mind every disease has a root cause and the GI tract is always part of the equation.  If you fix your digestion with digestive enzymes and, nutritional supplements, then you can break your food down and not create, Leaky Gut.

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Probiotics as a, nutritional supplement

Probiotics is the new big study.  We have about ten times more microorganisms than we have cells in our body, so taking probiotics as a, nutritional supplement is a must.  Generally people will start feeling better mentally, they will have more energy, they’ll have more restful sleep, they’ll say, I don’t know why but my depression went away. That is the power of taking probiotics as a, nutritional supplement.

 

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I’ve been taking, nutritional supplements, for a very long time and yeah I’ve got a pharmacy! but I’ve heard people say things like, nutritional supplements, are a waste of time because you are just going to pee them out.  All you are doing is having very expensive urine!

Your body takes what it needs and excretes the rest, that is why I do very inexpensive lab work for my clients to find out what their body is missing and then I will give them the, nutritional supplements, their body needs so as not to have expensive urine.

Most nutritional experts will agree on five, nutritional supplements, that everybody needs:

  • You need a good multivitamin,
  • a good probiotic,
  • you need a digestive enzyme,
  • you need fish oil
  • and you need fiber.

I don’t really agree with the fiber, if you eat enough really good vegetables you don’t need fiber as a, nutritional supplement, but I think vitamin D should be thrown in there.  It’s incredibly important and you cannot convert enough sunlight to make enough vitamin D.

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Dr. Stephen Lewis company is Green Wisdom Health, head over to his website https://www.greenwisdomhealth.com/  fill out a health survey, it’s a brief survey and it will suggest the suggested lab work. When I get the health survey back, either myself or Janet, my partner  will call you  and send you a link where you schedule a Free 30-minute consultation with me. At which point I’ll email you a functional nutritional report with a list of recommended, nutritional supplements,

So check out Green Wisdom Health and start using the proper, nutritional supplements,

To listen to the complete audio interview download on any of these podcast players:

Now on Podbean, CastboxDeezer, Google Play, Podmust, Soundcloud, and Stitcher,

Please subscribe and leave a review on iTunes Here

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Additional Resources:

How to Reprogram your Mind to Stop Binge Eating

https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2013/08/should-you-take-dietary-supplements

How to Build Multiple Passive Income Streams

Passive Income Retirement

Looking for, passive income streams, for retirement? Jack Gibson, President of High Return Real Estate, shares how to use real estate to build passive income.

Today’s episode in the 3rd in our series on building wealth with Real Estate investments.  My intention is to sow seeds into your subconscious that 2019 is the year to build your net worth. The power of intention is an invisible force of energy in the Universe. It is activated when we become inspired and will propel us towards our goals.

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  • Guest Biography

Jack Gibson began his entrepreneurial journey at 19, and founded his first company at the ripe old age of 21. Operating a successful nutrition consulting and distribution company.  He had built a multi-million dollar venture before he was old enough to rent a car. Soon thereafter, he bought his first home as an investment. One home quickly became five, and then the bug hit. He became obsessed with learning everything about Real Estate Investing and soon had over 50 investment properties generating Massive amounts of passive income. Today, Jack spends his time mentoring other entrepreneurs, building his real estate investment portfolio, and helping other investors to build a brighter future through the power of turnkey real estate income.

 

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Show Notes

My very first business that I started at age 19 was  a multi-level marketing nutrition distribution business.  The whole goal of that business was to build up a sales team and create ongoing, passive streams of income, so  I got that concept right away. I built that business up over the years and we currently have annual revenues over ten million dollars.  The last couple years it’s been a little bit more part-time or quite a bit more part-time as I pursued building my real estate company.  But I mean I still love it, I still love the people and I love the, passive streams of income,.  Two years into my network marketing company,  I read the book Rich Dad Poor Dad, that was the book that really transformed my mind to start thinking about utilizing real estate as a way to deploy the cash that I was making in my primary business and add additional, passive streams of income,.  I was still investing in stocks until about 4 years ago.  I was in stocks for most of the last 14 years, so about four years ago two events happened that were critical and really pushed me over into investing into real estate as another, passive streams of income,

There were two negative events,  but you know most negative events if we look back we can find the good in them.  One of them was I had some insider information, not anything illegal by any stretch,  I mean I knew that our company had a good earnings quarter.  I mean it wasn’t that hard to figure out based on what I heard from all my colleagues, so that’s kind of my insider information.

I bought into the stock about a week before the earnings report was to be released expecting things to be great.  Well the earnings report was phenomenal and typically, not always but typically stocks go up when the earnings report is great.  Well this  billionaire Hedge Fund investor was very well known as  an activist in terms of shorting stocks.  He gets on our company earnings call,  he asked  three or four pointed questions and then it appeared that he was shorting the stock;  the stock drops 30% overnight.

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Stocks as a, passive streams of income,

I realized then that I didn’t have control over stocks. Not even a sure thing is guaranteed. I want to be in the driver’s seat and put myself in a great position where I have as much control over the outcome as possible.  I took that as my sign that this is my time to learn a new asset class and another, passive streams of income, it was the final push.  I told myself, I’m going to draw the line in the sand.  So I studied real estate and listened to podcasts for a hundred straight days.

Jack you know that someone listening is going to pay devil’s advocate and say the same thing happens in real estate.  What’s your come back on that?

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So here’s what we have to consider when looking at real estate as another, passive streams of income,  we look at the past.  I mean could go back 100 even you know 200 years or whatever, the variance between real estate and the stock market is almost four times different.  If you look at historical data,  the swing in the stock market is around a variance of 16 or so from year to year.  Real estate has a variance of four.  That means from year to year on average that the swing in the market is going to be four percent, so you’re not quite so volatile in real estate.

The other part in this, passive streams of income, scenario  is it that you’re  investing in the real estate as  Robert T. Kiyosaki says, for the cash flow that it produces.  Not necessarily for it to go up in value.  You really don’t care if it appreciates or depreciates. As an investor and you’re renting it out and you will always be able to rent it out for more than the mortgage payment.

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At the same time  property values  will go up eventually, even if it dips for a little in the short term.  I was listening to the Automatic Millionaire Homeowner and the author was interviewing homeowners who lived in their homes for about 2 years and then sold and moved to bigger homes, and became millionaires because homes always go up in value.

We’ve discussed  real estate, we’ve talked about the stock market and we’ve also talked about multi-level marketing.  I understand why that’s been your foundation for, passive streams of income, because you’ve been you’ve been taught well.  You stayed in the business  for 20 years so you must be really doing well, because everybody that joins the business under you feeds you, passive streams of income,.

Multi-Level Marketing a Tool for generating, passive streams of Income,

Yea, it is phenomenal. If I could describe the business to people without saying what it was they’d be like wow that sounds too good to be true. I have a multi-million dollar business that I work right here from my home office.  That I help people with their health and nutrition. I have no employees, I have no accounts receivable.  I have no inventory, I have no monthly overhead whatsoever.  I have a free cash flowing business that produces ten to twelve million dollars in sales revenue per year.  That’s not obviously my income; but a percentage of that.

Skilled , passive streams of income: Writing a book, Music, software

That’s why, passive streams of income,  is so important.  On my website, www.myhelps.com  I talk about a some other forms of, passive streams of income,  like writing a book, or writing music.  Mariah Carey wrote the song “All I want for Christmas”  in 15 minutes. She’s generated sixty million dollars in royalties off of that 15 minute work.  So her, passive streams of income, is phenomenal.

Explain what we mean by, passive streams of income,  which ones would you recommend it to a seasoned investor or someone just starting out?

Passive income is created from work you have done in the past, that is paying you today.

You have one or two scenarios.  You either have money at work or capital at work and you’re drawing royalties. There’s multiple ways to go about creating, passive streams of income,  it boils down to either unskilled or skilled forms of passive income. It’s like what you talked about in terms of creating music and selling music, or writing a book, or creating a piece of software that you then are able to license out and sell.  Those are very technical skills, very skilled types of, passive streams of income,.

Creating, passive streams of income, from a business  I won’t say is unskilled in terms of work. It does it takes skills to put the right management team in place.  There’s a way you can have any type of business that you set up  to become a, passive income stream, if you’re not involved directly in day-to-day operations, then it’s a, passive income stream, business.

To listen to the full interview, download on iTunes and please subscribe and leave a review.

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Check out Jack on the web https://highreturnrealestate.com/.  All of our properties are listed on the website. Nicole is the Head of Investor Relations and she will be happy to answer any questions.

On the nutrition side,  we have a brand new system, it’s a nine week online body transformation Course that we’re planning on scaling so that over 10,000 people can participate. Check out Jack’s Body Transformation podcast 

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Additional Resources:

Top 20 Areas In Miami For Increasing Property Values

25 Best Passive Income Ideas to Make Money in 2019

https://wellkeptwallet.com/passive-income-ideas/

https://wallethacks.com/passive-income-ideas/

How to Create a Freedom Lifestyle with Investment Property