Valeri Bocage lost everything in hurricane Katrina and used her pain to create her company Powerful Women International. She believes that the greater your pain the greater things that are birthed from this pain. In the, WandaVision, prequel, Vision, was, well, very dead. … Wanda eventually managed to destroy the Mind Stone – and, Vision, – but Thanos turned back time and plucked it out anyway. Both outcomes killed, Vision.
Valerie says that whenever you focus on what you have lost, you can never move forward. Her purpose was to make a difference.
She says to figure out who your audience is. Who are you supposed to make a difference to?
My tip of the week is:
How to Create Positive Core Beliefs
Our guest today shared her story of losing everything in hurricane Katrina and bouncing back to become the CEO of Powerful Women International. To do that she had to have positive self-worth and positive, core beliefs. Beliefs are the truths people hold on to that guide our life. The power of belief can trap you, as in the belief that you deserve only a limited amount of happiness. Or belief can free you, as in the belief that you are safe and protected in the cosmic plan.
When you open your awareness to your strongest, core beliefs, which are known as, core beliefs, two things happen. First, you find out who you are and why you behave in the ways you do. Second, new energies become available when you pursue the, core beliefs, that are life-supporting, fulfilling, and spiritually transforming.
A powerful, core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four, core beliefs, you want to activate are:
I am loving and lovable.
I am worthy.
I am safe and trusting.
I am fulfilled and whole.
You already have existing, core beliefs, in these four areas of love, self-worth, security, and fulfillment. Your beliefs can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness. At the core of your being, where your true self resides, the truth about you is clear and unequivocal: You deserve unconditional love; you are of unique worth in the universe; you can trust Nature to protect and uphold you; and your fulfillment comes from being whole.
To overhaul your beliefs means that you get closer and closer to your core beliefs, these four inner truths, which are absolute. Right now, there’s a gap between them and what you experience. For most people, the positive and negative side of their core beliefs depend on how good or bad their experiences have been in the past. If you have been deeply hurt in love, for example, it is hard to adopt the core belief that you deserve infinite love.
A Self-Awareness Exercise to Create Your Core Beliefs
Hawkeye on , WandaVision, is self aware that he is the weakest link. Although he is an extremely skilled marksman, Clint Barton is often considered to be the weakest Avenger seeing as he’s just a regular guy with a bow and arrow. Reliving experiences from the past only keeps you stuck in the past. Your core beliefs are activated in the now, every day. They can only be changed in the now! Here’s how:
Look upon what’s happening now as a reflection of your, core beliefs. If the reflection is negative, pause and ask yourself why it fits the storyline your beliefs create. If you experience any kind of abusive treatment, for example, this reflects a victimhood story supported by a core belief that keeps you in the story. If you experience unexpected kindness, on the other hand, this reflects a storyline that includes compassion and reflects a core belief in how much you deserve love.
A, core belief, that God has plans to prosper you, will take you through any setback.
• Valeri Bocage started Powerful Women International in 2006 after moving to San Francisco, a move that was prompted by the loss of everything during Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. Valeri lost everything except her indomitable spirit to help others. Initially, Powerful Women International was formed to help women live their dreams and to begin to support each other worldwide to fulfill their utmost dreams and expand themselves as leaders worldwide.
How did Valerie build and assemble her Power teams?
Power Team, is a team consisting of people who possess all the strengths needed to achieve your mission. They are an extension of you not a mirror.
You’ve thought about your, power team, and created an ideal customer profile based on that aspiration. The same thing should be done as you prepare to build your, power team, members.
As you make a list of your, power team, you’ll need an:
social media manager,
public relations manager,
customer service representatives
This is the time to aim high; to refuse to settle for less-than-ideal.
With her, Power Team, by her side, Valerie was able to take her brand to more people, with greater positive impact. Too many brand builders work to simply fill positions, when they should be working to hire those people who will further the reach and value of their brands. Who will you hire next? What challenges are you experiencing whilst hiring? What difference your, Power Team, made.
This is the how the, law of attraction, works. This is, The secret, your, thoughts become things, so you want to think good thoughts because you want the, Law of attraction, to bring you good things!
Good or bad, you manifest what you think about most of the time.
Listen to full interview here:
Thoughts become things, you are literally what you think about and your character is the complete sum of all your, thoughts. What you are thinking now, and what you think tomorrow and next month, is eventually what you will become.
This principle of the, law of attraction, has been around since the bible; but James Allen made this principle famous in his book “As a Man Thinketh“
If you want success, love, happiness, contentment, wealth, then you must think, good thoughts, because, thoughts become things.
Here are some, Good Thoughts, to engage the, Law of Attraction: The Secret
As a man thinks, so is he. As he continues to think, so he remains.
He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a loftily ideal in his heart, will one day realize it.
To desire is to obtain, to aspire is to achieve.
Your greatest achievement started out as a, thought seed, or a dream.
The oak sleeps in the acorn, the bird waits in the egg.
Thoughts are the seedlings of things: your, thoughts become things
The, good thoughts, you hold in your head one day be the, good things, you hold in your hand, that’s, the secret.
Here is How Missy Elliot, Thoughts became things.
I just read an interview with Missy Elliott. Here is how she used this principle to achieve her success. This is her story.
As a grade school student in Virginia, her classmates would have never believed that Melissa Arnette Elliot would one day win six Grammys, two AMAs, and become the first female rap artist to be inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame, but she did. In fact, Missy said that she saw herself as a legend long before anyone else could. Missy explained that in elementary school, every week, the teacher would ask the students what they wanted to be when they grew up, and Missy’s answer was always the same:
“‘I’m going to be a superstar,’ and the whole class would bust out laughing.”
“It’s funny, she later said. I was telling somebody that everything I spoke, I’ve done. That’s how powerful the tongue is…I used to sit in the house and act like I was having conversations with Janet and Michael and Madonna and whoever. I then would go and say my thank you’s for award shows that I hadn’t made it to yet. I had speeches, and I would be in the mirror thanking my mama.” I engaged the, law of attraction, with my imagination to turn my dreams or, thoughts into things.
“Trust me, this was all visioning and, good thoughts, because I was broke. My family would be like, ‘You better find something to do.’ They told me to go in the Army. I’m like, ‘I’m too fat to go in the Army. Where I am running to?’ Everything just seemed so impossible at the time because we didn’t have the technology to be able to reach out and put your stuff online and for people to get a chance to see it. So you have to be at the right place at the right time.”
Missy said that she carried on this spirit of speaking her dreams into existence into adulthood.
“I told my mother, ‘I’m going to buy you a house, and I’m going to buy you an elevator in case your legs start hurting.’ And my mom would laugh and be like, ‘All right, okay.’ But when I got my first check, I didn’t even buy myself a house first. I bought my mother a house. Put a Bible in the soil and built it from the ground up.” My, thoughts became actions
After battling Graves Disease, domestic abuse, and a brutal, male-dominated entertainment industry, there’s nothing Missy can’t overcome; and do you know why? Because she knows how to transform good, thoughts into things!
It is hard work holding on to the vision in between the trials, failures and struggles which are a part of life.
In all human affairs there are efforts, and there are results. The strength of the effort is the measure of the result or the quality of your thoughts.
The transformation of your good, thoughts into things, are the fruits of effort. They are thoughts completed, objectives accomplished, visions realized.
The vision that you hold in your mind, the ideal that you enthrone in your heart – this you will build your life by, this you will become!
Most humans are operating in one of 4 psychological levels:
Level 1 – victim stage
Level 2 – you create and design your world
Level 3: Servant to a higher calling. Doing something for the world. You are pushing humidity forward. The universe speaks through you. You are doing it through inspiration.
Level 4: Oneness with humanity, monk like state. You can heal with a touch.
Let’s look at the first two levels since the majority of us will never get to level 3 or 4.
Victim stage – 70% of the world operates at this level.
You believe that life is happening to you.
You blame everyone for where you are at.
You don’t think you have any control over what happens to you. You believe what Forest Gump said “Life is a box of chocolates we never know what we are going to get. So you take whatever life dishes out and you tell yourself that such is life.
When you play the victim you are engaging the, law of attraction, to bring you more of the same. If you become the player in this game of life then you visualize with good thoughts and watch those good, thoughts become things.
Level 2: You believe that your, Thoughts become things, your reality: the secret
You become a co-creator of your world.
You use your imagination and the, law of attraction, to create in your mind the life you want.
Abraham Hicks calls this the vortex. Your vortex is full of un-manifested potential just waiting to become your reality.
You utilize the, law of attraction, to bring the things you want to you. The secret is to feel good and use positive energy to transform your, thoughts into things,
How my good, thoughts became things.
As a little girl I dreamed of becoming a movie star. I heard that the first step in becoming a movie star was to become a model. (Not true), but that was my information back then in 1977. So the first thing I did when I immigrated to Toronto, Canada from Guyana was to be trained as a model.
I went to International Top models and graduated. My modeling agency started giving me work in the movies. I got roles as an extra in 3 movies one was the movie Cocktails with Tom Cruise. I got a radio gig reading the news, I got a regular part on a sitcom again as an extra. I had a manager and was thinking of moving to Los Angeles when I got pregnant with my son.
I was 20 years old at the time and something happened to me during pregnancy. I no longer wanted to get by on my looks. I wanted to be a business woman. So I packed up my modeling career and went to college. I later became an entrepreneur. I was happy with my choices.
That dream laid dormant until earlier this year. 40 years later. My daughter was working in LA for a month and I decided that when I went to visit her I should audition for some movie role just to get the life experience. I signed up with this casting company called NY casting. I was only in LA for 3 days so I couldn’t make it happen; but I was able to get tickets to see Dr Phil. They sat me close to the front of the studio and I just visualized me as a the host of a TV talk show. You couldn’t bring cameras into the studio, so I mentally recorded every detail of the studio. I imagined myself walking on to the stage and waving to the audience.
When I returned home, I figured my next move was to get some footage of me as a host to send around to casting directors. I sent an email to the producers of this radio show and asked them if I can do a live radio show in the studio in Atlanta. They responded that they had a TV show taping in Miami and they would like me to host it. I couldn’t believe it.
Dreams, good thoughts do become Reality
I Hosted the show called“Make me over Miami” and uploaded a clip to NY casting site. As soon as I finished uploading my video reel, I noticed a casting call for a talk show host in Miami. I sent the director an application. About a month later he responded that he would like me to audition for the role as the consumer reporter on the show the Culture Club. The show is taped in LA, they pay $1500 per show as a start. My, thoughts become things. Not a bad start! I don’t know if I will get this hosting job; but I am encouraged. This dream started as a, good thought,
Now I hope you followed along with this story how my dream was reignited. I made the first move and signed up with a casting agency, followed inspiration and got tickets to Dr Phil. Visualized myself being the female version of Dr Phil. Got the video real of coach Myrna in action, got an audition!
Arifah can you share a personal story of when your, thoughts became Things
I remember one day asking myself, if I felt I was making a difference. I started to question my purpose and if I was using my skill sets wisely. I started to think about what kind of difference I wanted to make, what skills I had and how best to use them. It all seemed overwhelming at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I believed it was possible and those, good thoughts, turned into good actions.
I thought about the name of my organization, the logo, what I wanted to do, who I wanted involved and all the ways to make it a reality. Everything I thought about, it came to fruition because I believed I could manifest it. The best part about it all, was that I engaged youth I had worked with over the years to get their input on everything I was doing, from voting on my logo ideas, input about projects and their involvement in the organization.
I always dreamed about creating something that would make an impact and that would engage young people not just as participants, but leaders and creatives. I thought of the partnerships I wanted and what I hoped would happen in the next 5 years. I always tell people, I really dreamed about what I wanted, thought about it everyday in detail and put those, good thoughts, on paper, and now those good, thoughts became things. I am living in and growing my dream everyday.
How to become lifted by your purpose
Lifted by Purpose, is not just a name, it’s a way of life, I tell young people if you believe you can, your half way there to making it a reality. Thoughts, hopes and optimism, is powerful in guiding us towards what we envision and success. It may take time, you may have ups and downs, but you will also have wins once you work towards your goals.
The first 2 small grants, I applied for I got denied, I even cried I was so upset. But I believed in my vision and I kept writing grants, I turned those,, good thoughts, into a $75,000 grant! I continued to submit grants for larger sums of money and was successful. The first grant I wrote on same day as my uncles funeral, the second big grant I I wrote when I lost hearing in one of my ears for 5 weeks.
Despite the hardships, I never gave up on myself, my team and the vision to provide programs and services to youth. I always think about the potential outcome and who it benefits, over all the work to make it happen. My good, thoughts became things, and have lead me to where I am today, lifted by my purpose.
The concept of, dream big, is to not let yourself become small. Not just react to what life’s dishing out. We need to, dream bigger, because the universe gives you exactly what we ask for. If you ask for 50 cents instead of $1 you will get 50 cents.
Ilona Selke, shares The concept of, dream big, is to not let yourself become small. Not just react to what life’s dishing out. Today on the Transform Your Mind with Coach Myrna podcast. I am so excited to be talking to international best-selling author Ilona Selke. Ilona who is currently travelling the USA directly from Bali where she spends seven months of a year.
So envious, Ilona is promoting her new book, “Dream Big, the Universe is Listening”. We’re going to be talking about shifting your reality in the, quantum, matrix. I meditate every morning and then I go walking and meditate some more while I listen to podcasts. This morning I was listening to the Hay House World Summit podcast and the guest was Dr. Bruce Lipton, he was teaching us that, Quantum mechanics, or the, quantum, matrix is the foundation for all Sciences.
Chemistry and Biology sit on top of, Quantum mechanics. When I came back from my meditation, I put a note in my journal that I needed to read some more, quantum, matrix books. Then as I going over our show notes, I noticed that your book is about the, quantum mechanics, and that we’re going to be talking about, quantum mechanics. I look forward to fast tracking my learning!
Ilona – Yep, the Universe is indeed listening, Bruce Lipton’s book title is “The Biology of Belief,” he talks about what he calls Epigenetics. I love the fact that he talked about the, Quantum Matrix. Someone was saying that we when we watched the movie The Matrix, that it looked like science fiction; but we could be in something similar to that in real life.
The subtitle of my book it’s called, Dream Big, the Universe is listening, I know we have all these religions across the world and no matter who they believe the right version of God is, there is only one source. Let’s just be honest, if there were multiple sources we’d have a war on our hands. Source multiplies itself and then humans interpret it differently.
Formulate your prayer if you want to pray or if you meditate your visualization in such a way that the universe can decode your message. The Universe has its own language and we don’t need to learn a computer language. Luckily we are endowed with a language, but most of us do it incorrectly. I want to help everybody do it in a way that the Universe will start listening.
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Ilona is an International Best-selling Author, seminar leader, lecturer, musician CEO and co-founder of Living from Vision. Ilona has inspired thousands of people worldwide to discover the power of their consciousness and to create successful lives. Ilona has written four books, produced music and meditation CDs, co-authored two books one with Brian Tracy, and one with Jack Canfield, she also has been a regular guest on A&E, Bravo TV with Jack Canfield, and a producer and TV show host for Quantum Living show on women’s broad broadcast TV.
Why we should, Dream big
One of the things I set out to figure out was how to talk to the Universe. I observed regularly is that whenever I said I don’t want something, that’s what I got. Can you imagine, I was so delighted to figure out that I recognized one definite Law of the Universe, which was “I got what I didn’t want.” I’m gonna ask you to not think of a pink elephant.
Can you do that? I don’t think so. I want to know what is in your head right now? A pink elephant! I figured out the Universe. If I say I don’t want a bicycle for my Christmas gift, guess what the Universe is going to give me for Christmas? When I said I don’t want a bike, I visualized the bike and made me manifest it. I learned to, dream big.
I figured out the Universe has a law which is it gives me what I don’t want. Maybe God or the Universe has a different plan. I could say I want to be in that big castle, I can see myself in it. I should say something I really want. I want millions of listeners to my podcast. Let’s say millions of listeners, that’s what I want. All these people who are sitting on this planet listening. They are ignited they are excited.
There are others who are also listening right now, millions of them, they are listening and we are one. We are all vibrating together. It’s not just one here in the neighborhood, and one there, we are collectively globally. A large group of people and we are all building the new world. We are shifting the paradigm together and we are millions and we are listening and we are taking the lessons and making them real in our daily life to prove to ourselves and our family that this Universe is listening.
That this paradigm is really living. This is what I did when I was 10 years old. I just had to learn about changing that no factor, and then when I’m 14, I said okay I’m going to go teach the world to be creative, and so I always say when you do, make sure you always add that little sentence that says “for the highest good”
Here are three easy steps to, dream Bigger:
Allow yourself five minutes, the luxury of being in your fulfillment. Five minutes, millions of people just see it. Five million listeners around the world. How would you feel right now if you had five million listeners?
Myrna – I would feel good. I would feel that I was given a mandate from God and I would protect that mandate by caring for my 5 million listener. I would make sure they are fed, inspiring messages every week and that my platform will contain good content. I have the intention that I want to reach the world before every recording.
I want to give you a little synopsis, Dream Big, the Universe is listening, and then we’re going to dive in little deeper in her book. Ilona takes you into a journey into the greater mystery of the universe, she takes you step by step, as she mentioned earlier through fascinating stories and how to manifest your goals and, dream big.
At the same time you, dream big, you create a better life for yourself. In the planet we’re a living in a consciousness interactive universe. For you to become the master of your destiny, you need to dive into your subconscious mind and reach into your super consciousness. Ilona travels across the globe teaching other levels of consciousness.
She describes in easy-to-follow steps just how magical life really is when you learn to, dream bigger. After reading her book, you will come away inspired and equipped to make your dreams come true and create a better life for yourself on this planet. Check her out at www.ilonaselke.com.
What is the biggest lesson you think that readers can take from the concept of, dream big?
Ilona – The concept of, dream big, just itself, I’ve had people who just take the book and go oh my God I’ve let myself become small. I’ve let myself just react to what life’s dishing out. All the demands and I’ve forgotten to, dream big,. I’ve forgotten to listen to my own self. So sometimes just holding the book in their hands without opening a page they’ve gone to the place of, dreaming bigger.
I want to remember to take time for myself and to, dream big, again because maybe we had dreams of who and what we wanted to do, and then some of them got either fulfilled or not. We have kids and get stuck at home, or as a woman, do the providing job thing, and feel like we’re trapped in a rut. That’s when we need to take time and to, dream big, to think about what we want.
To listen to our soul, to our heart, and to step back out of the house. Buzz out of our life and to step back and to do what’s really meaningful to us. I said I’m going to give away a free app, that will guide people about God. Listeners can do this for 5 minutes every day, even if you just do that you start setting up a habit, where your soul and heart, your spirit will start saying thank you for listening to me.
It’ll start giving you nudges, it’ll start coordinating things for you. People will call you at the right time. I’ve had people who walk into a bookstore and my book literally fell into their lap. You put out the vibrational frequency, and anything that matches it, will come in.
I hate to admit it is that unfortunately the mass number of people are more interested in soap operas and dramas and disasters, rather than making their lives better by, dreaming big.
You don’t have to follow any religion. You can just simply tune into the universe, which I call the source, and start your own conversation. Start talking to god by sitting down and saying what you need. Set up a conversation with this higher power, God and then if you have a desire and wish and needs, a dream or something you want to contribute to the world, just ask for it.
Let’s say you need a certain amount of money every month, you may think hell, I need to be able to travel the world, I need to travel to other countries, I need to see other cultures to expand my horizon, that’s what I really want. The universe says, ok. If we catch ourselves saying well I really want to travel the world; but then in your heart you feel these I have responsibilities, I don’t want to leave, I’m afraid, maybe I get sick or whatever all your butts, they are the reasons why we stay where we are, stuck.
Because you’re giving conflicting information. You’re saying, yes I want it, but then you’re saying well no, I don’t want it because of that. Those little voices are usually not that loud, we feel them we try to ignore them, we try to say no, no I’m not really thinking that.
Dreaming Bigger in the Quantum Field
In my book, Dream Big, the Universe is Listening, I give techniques of how to deal with those little butts and snarling voices, or those tight feelings in the tummy, because they are at first blockages. Later on that block becomes your stepping stone. I tell you I am teaching this technique to doctors, therapists, hypnotherapists, all over the world. A lot of them have taken it to substitute the other techniques they used to use, because this one really works.
Myrna – It definitely does. I like what you said about there’s just so many people that are interested in reality TV shows and sports and the news and things like that and don’t spend any time, dreaming big. I wrote my first book “Becoming Conscious, my Awakening, about four years ago and that’s basically when I started to understand synchro destiny and, Quantum matrix, and envision and all the things that you talk about. I’d be on that path and that’s one of the reasons my vision was to have this radio program and then podcast. I talked about transforming your mind because that’s where it starts.
Ilona – There are four different interpretation. One of them actually allows for the idea that we live in the universe that has parallel dimensions and parallel realities all at coexisting simultaneously. I train teachers and coaches, we have the course in Chinese we have students in China and Czechoslovakia in Germany in England and Spanish English Spanish, French, German, Czech, Chinese, and my books are out also in Hindi, and in Czechoslovakia and Russian, so we try to go worldwide.
All humans alike they don’t really well I mean they like to have an idea of how the universe works but the trick to creating a shift in the matrix of time-space is to slowly but surely build up your miracles, so that you really feel the universe is listening to you. Talk to it and you can transform your negative doubts and beliefs and pave the way for the beautiful expression of who you really are.
Scientists don’t even believe in God, but the quantum physicists say well there is something weird going on which implies that there is a greater intelligence at work. All of them right now are trying to develop a new worldview and quantum physics has lent itself the closest to different understanding. It’s a modern way of saying there is a God and there is the observer affect. The observer who is looking at the experiment is changing the outcome!
I actually published in the book with Jack Canfield, he’s the co-author of Chicken soup of the Soul, and the chapter about it is really about a Mind Bender, I described how I close my eyes and talk this mind-bending story through to God and I see the techniques are the same. You become clear on what you want you imagine what it would look like.
If it had already happened and you feel as if it had already happened, so in my body and bones I was sitting there not only visualizing being arriving on time and being in the end result. I’m not only applying myself, but I’m also feeling in my bones. It takes a lot of practice. I tell people is start small. I started creating parking lots and then build your way up build your confidence up.
I definitely need some help. I’ve been working and working on this thing for a while and I’m a very I’m a deterring person. It’s hard for me to visualize. I can get the emotion and I can talk myself through it, but I want to see it in my mind.
I’ve got a trick for you. Here let’s do this, because a lot of people are in your shoes, they go I can’t visualize for anything. Some people are more kinesthetic types, maybe are one of them. I’m going to do a test for you and you’re probably going to come out with flying colors like everybody who’s listening.
How to Visualize and Dream Big
I would like you to visualize a tree as best as you can. Just a tree, an ordinary tree and move to one side of the tree, you’re going to put a red dog and on the other side of the tree is a blue dog. Now I want you to take your index finger that you like the best and point it to the red dog just point. Which side did you point? Right side, okay well honestly some people have the red dog on the right some people have it on the left. Now tell me when you say you can’t visualize, how come you knew that the red dog was on the right side of the tree?
I’m not seeing the dog. I can see the tree because I walk and see trees every day so I think I can visualize a tree, but I’m not seeing the red dog. I’m just imagining.
That works just as well because the most important aspect is the feeling. Imagine you’re sitting down and having lemonade, as a matter of fact somebody serves you the lemonade and a good lemon cut open to a quarter and really fresh. You decide to bite into that lemon. You take that wedge of lemon and you’re going to imagine you take it and you bite into it.
I’m tasting that sour, I’m not actually seeing it but I am like you can imagine thinking exactly. I imagine it in my mind. I’m a reader and I cry at movies and I cry when I see stuff. I cry when I read books, so I get myself in the picture. I want to see with my third eye and it’s not happening.
Let me ask you one question. Did you start salivating more when I asked you to bite into that lemon?
Yes I did.
Ilona – I’ve lived with a lot of imaginary stuff. I visualized and, dreamed big, every day. I work on it, in fact I did this course called the “wealth magnet” and every morning I sit down I imagine different success things like what my what my Rolls-Royce is going to feel like when I drive it and what my big house, over looking the mountains is going to feel like!
There are two things when we say visualizing, one means representing to yourself something that is not currently physically in front of you; but you can put yourself into. Two, if you can create and feel the feeling of already doing it. Now when you say I’m visualizing myself driving in a Rolls Royce you giggled I can tell you that is the part of you that says I don’t have it. I shouldn’t be thinking that or it’s funny.
You heard me talk about I want to have millions of listeners in order to do, I have to, dream big,.
Myrna – I would love for you all to review the podcast on iTunes. This encourages my guests and encourages other people to be able to listen to this life changing program. Ilona, so go ahead and tell them what the FREE GIFT is today for posting a review on iTunes.
Visit my website www.ilonaselke.com download the FREE app if you want to start your day with positive focus and be supported, I’ll do that for you for free. I’ll do that every morning with you. With my more meditative voice and with much more singsong in my voice. Also if you want to end your day on a good note come with me on this journey called “living from vision.” it’s called the “Living from Vision” light App. It’s available both on Google and Android. If you purchase my book, “Dream Big, the Universe is Listening” it will also give you the directions of how to get the App.
Dream Big, the Universe is Listening. This has been a very inspirational high-energy interview, we came out of the gate running like some racehorses. I loved it, we’re out of time right now but Ilona is going to be back next week and we are going to talk about “How to find it your Soulmate” so be sure to tune in for that because you don’t want to miss it.
Ilona – I’m going to share with you “How to have sex out-of-body” Wow, yes the men are going to come knocking now, women too! Well Ilona it has been an absolute pleasure. I definitely will go and not only get the free app but I’m also going to download your book, Dream Big, the universe is listening.
Thank you so much for spending the time with me today. For more information on Myrna Young, Life Coach visit me on the web at www.myrnayounghelps.com. I thank you listeners for tuning into www.wdjyfm.com, the Transform Your Mind with coach Myrna podcast, available on iTunes,Google Play, stitcher, and now on I Heart Radio, you can listen to it yet anywhere.
Until next time Namaste.
Millennials, need parents teaches or coaches to stimulate their, personal development. Millennials, need to understand that, personal development, comes when they anticipate the very next phase beyond the one there’re in, so they can be prepared for it when it arrives.
Introduction to, Personal Development for, Millennials
Today what we want to focus on is giving, Millennials, some clarity on, personal growth and development. We both know that learning should not stop when we leave school. My guest today is Arika Pierce author of the book The Millennial’s Playbook to Adulting.
Myrna – What advice would you give, Millennials, on, personal growth? Millennials, are in the growth stage of life, what advice would you give them? I know in your book you give ten tips. We don’t have time to talk on all ten, personal development, tips; but pick some of the top ones and share how you would advise, Millennials, on, personal growth and development.
Arika- I think especially after you get out of school, Millennials, are sort of over trying to learn from textbooks. People are just exhausted from that textbook and learning from your professors and things like that; So I do encourage, Millennials, to become students of life.
By that I mean opening your eyes to all the things that you can learn from different people, new experiences just being open to continuing to stretch your horizon and to be multifaceted and to be just a well-rounded person. In my book, for example:
I suggest things such as reading biographies about people that you’re curious about for, personal development, or maybe who you want to know. Learn more about their path.
I also believe that you should do things like watch documentaries on Netflix about different types of topics that you might be interested in or just want to know more about.
I also think listening to podcasts that’s huge for, personal development, and that’s why I love your podcast. I listen to podcast really throughout my day on various types of topics, it could be something around, personal development, by expanding your mindset, it could be something around the news, it could be anything. There’s so much out there that you can really stretch your mind and learn.
Going to different types of events. I always tell people if you get invited, go to something and especially if it’s something that you probably would be interested in doing. Go to the Opera, go to a hockey game even though you don’t know what’s going on, go to a book talk, go to a wine tasting, whatever it is just expand your horizon and, personal development.
Learning does not stop once you walk across the stage. You should always every day be learning more about yourself, about life, about other people, just always be curious and be a student of the world and of life.
Myrna – Awesome, that’s some good advice I love the podcast one because that’s a big one. I actually showed my mom just yesterday how to put podcasts on her phone.
That’s the space that we’re in right now. I will tell you I started listening to podcast just to learn what some of the successful podcasters are doing. If there’s something you want to learn, you go to an event, you go to book signing. That’s why people write books. You can take ten years to learn something or you can take ten minutes to read how someone else did it in a book, and that’s the purpose of books.
I wanted to learn how to be better at what I do, so I started listening to podcast. You would not believe how my mind has been expanded. I subscribe to TuneIn radio, so that I can research how that works and what Hot Talk radio was all about. I happened to come across the Hay House World Summit podcast and you would not believe what I’ve been learning.
I listen to podcasts every morning when I walk. I walk for an hour every day, so I that’s my learning time and I my eyes are wide open because this podcast have guest speakers all the top people in the spirituality and consciousness and health space.
I try to bring good content on this show so that people can plug in and hear something inspiring and mindset shifting. This podcast is not all about shooting the breeze. I went through your book and I made a note of some of the things that you mentioned and I’ll mention a couple of them because it’s very important you talked about:
How Millennials can Shift their mindset for, personal development
• Keeping your mind healthy. You start off by talking about depression. Depression is very big right now. I don’t know where it’s coming from, but a lot of people are depressed, even the ones that you think should be happy, that has a lot of money. Still trouble with depression. You start out by saying, keep your mind healthy and that’s very important when you talk about staying motivated.
• Find a healthy outlet. Journaling, painting, baking, etc and stuff like that that keeps your mind healthy. I talked about journaling, I think it’s great but it’s not for everybody. I think you know it’s not something some people can do it every single day, some people just do it on a periodic basis. I believe don’t be hard on yourself about doing it, but if sometimes you need a place to get your thoughts get your feelings out thinking on paper can honestly be a great way to do that.
• Getting into healthy routines. I just wrote a blog that’s coming out next week about a morning routine. I think establishing a morning routine is a great, personal development, tool and can help you set the intention and tone for the rest of your day and so actually think sitting down and thinking about what you want your routine to be and doing it that could be transformative. I’ve just recently sort of created a new morning routine and it really has changed my mindset for the whole day. Just making sure there are these five or six things that I do before I start my day.
That’s awesome, you know again as you talk my mind goes to certain things and I was just listening to a podcast where Barbara Corrigan was speaking and we all know her from Shark Tank. She has done a lot for herself, she said something that I did as a little variation for what you just said. She said write down the things that you like to do and write down the things you don’t like to do and instead of trying to do the things you don’t like to do, and then find an assistant or an intern and delegate the things you don’t like to do.
If you’re still trying to just figure out what direction you want to go in life, I think that’s a great time to get it to get a, Life coach. Honestly I think the hardest part is just identifying what exactly you need the, Life coach, for sometimes you want the, Life coach, to help you with your, personal development plan, in terms of where you want to take your career.
Sometimes it could be helping you balance your work versus your personal life. You might need a, Life coach just in terms of helping you get to the next level of your dreams and, self improvement. There’s all different types of ways you can leverage and use a, Life coach. I really think that it’s never too soon to do that.
Today, there’s lots of, Life coaches who focus on the, millennial, generation, which I think is great. I think those people really understand what the, millennials, are going through and can really help them work through all of those challenges. I wasn’t focused on the, millennial, generation until I recognized that my daughter being a, millennial, and her struggles and the things that she needs help with and then I put them two and two together.
I thought what there’s lots of people in that bucket that could do maybe good guidance and direction. Yeah so you’re right, I haven’t come across a lot of, millennial, coaches; but I know that, Millennials, are the generation that’s moving the bucket in a lot of areas. That’s because they’re a large group, they’re the movers and the shakers.
So as we continue our discussion on, personal development, as a, millennial, I want to ask this question. In your book Arika, you give advice on how to care for your body so how can we incorporate caring for your body with, personal growth and development?
Personal Growth and Development as a Millennial
I believe that when you work on your mind, when you strengthen your mind, a lot of that has to also be your body and soul, they’re all connected. When you are taking care of yourself when you’re eating right, when you’re exercising, I believe your mind is just in a different place. You feel those endorphins, everything is flowing. I had a workout this morning where I came up with three different things while I was working out that I wanted to incorporate.
When you feel good you just can really, transform your mindset, in a very positive way. I believe that when you are you believe that you’re invincible, and start taking care of yourself, eating right, making sure you’re drinking enough water, making sure that you know you’re working out on a regular basis, making sure you’re meditating, when all of those are aligned I believe that your life in terms of what you want to do, in terms of having the energy to do them, all falls into a, personal development plan. You get into the, personal growth and development, space. But you can’t take your body for granted, because we actually only get one and you know if your body isn’t right usually everything else isn’t right either.
That’s awesome, I was listening I was listening to Louise Hay, she was talking about something that she calls the mirror work. She says is that women especially should go in front of the
mirror every day when they wake up, when they look their worst and they should say to themselves, “ I love you, you are so awesome.” I have no problem with self-love, I love myself, but I still do it every morning. I look myself in the eye and I say “I love you you’re awesome.” What she’s trying to do with that little exercise is bring exactly what you’re talking about the mind-body connection. Millennials, have a problem with self love.
Millennials, and Self Love
When you love the body that you’re in, when you love you, then it transcends into every area of your life, it transcends into your, self confidence, it transcends into what you put in your body, how you treat it, how you let people treat you. There’s definitely a correlation with exercise into listening and connecting to your higher self. I wrote my entire first book and it was called ironically “Becoming Conscious, my Awakening” be connecting with my higher self.
I would go for run in the morning and all the words would come to me. I would go to the car right after and start writing. I will tell you if I tried if I tried to circumvent and write at night or something it wouldn’t go as smooth, because then I’ll be trying to force it, but when it just comes to me it came to me when I was running, the words just flowed.
Like when you were exercising this morning. So the mind-body connection is very important, and that’s why I decided to include it in our topic today, because a lot of people do not care for their body and especially when they’re young, millennials, and they don’t have any aches and pains, they kind of ignore it.
I was listening to another podcast just yesterday again on the Hay House World Summit and listened to Ocean Robbins, I love his name, I told my daughter she has to name my grandchild Ocean. He is actually is the grandson of Baskin Robbins and he had an incredible story about how his grandfather ate ice cream all day long, he had at least 21 flavors in his fridge at all times.
He ate ice cream for breakfast and lunch! When he got to 70 years old, he had all these health problems because of the diet that he had all his life. He had heart problems but his story ended well, because started eating well, he started doing certain things, eating well, including cutting out ice cream and he was still able to turn it around. That’s not an encouragement for anybody listening to wait until they’re in their 70’s and in poor health to get started on a, personal development plan, for a healthy lifestyle, but do it now.
How, Millennials, develop a, Personal Development Plan: Jim Rohn
Most, Millennials, are in school, I think a lot of, Millennials, go on to higher education. They’re working on feeding their mind and, personal growth, education and career and things like that. The reason I talked about, personal growth, because as a, Life coach, I know that there’s a difference. Jim Rohn’s personal development growth plan, is a popular, personal development plan. Tony Robbins talks about Jim Rohn’s growth plan in his back story. I would like to hear your spin on the difference between studying for a career and actually, personal growth.
Arika – When we think about, personal growth and development, as you just said that that’s very connected to what you are focused on career-wise, your job. I think when you start to think about what you want to personally achieve for yourself, that may or may not be connected to your professional life, because there definitely is some overlap between the two.
I think really people just have to always think about looking inside and how do they define themselves, outside of their career. Millennials, you’re thinking about how you want to define yourself as a person and defining yourself as a person is not just what your career is and so it’s very easy to get into a life pattern. You only focus and your own the only thing that you know to that you gravitate to in terms of your growth, in terms of your brand.
When you ask “What is your, personal development plan” which is now something I heard from Brian Tracy he talks about you know spending all his money when he was a youngster to purchase something that called a, personal growth, plan. If I was to ask a, Millennial, they might answer in terms of there career trajectory. But that is not a, personal development, plan because it’s only it is only touching on one area of a multi-faceted spiritual being.
Deepak Chopra is one of the people that I follow and I love, he talks about asking “who are you?” who is the person that’s doing the listening right now? You ask yourself these questions “Who am I?” “What am I here to do?” You just ask God that question and even let God answer. Your, personal development plan links up to your purpose.
Learn different ways you can develop your, personal development, business, organization and, personal growth, skills.
Strategies for, personal development, can be found on the Transform Your Mind Podcast.
Do you know that your, core beliefs, affect everything you do in life? Well it’s true. What you believe is how you show up in every circumstance in your life.
Listen to full interview here:
For example: Do you consistently find yourself in situations where men are trying to bully you or treat you less than you are worth? It may because of a, core belief, that started with how your father treated your mother or even you.
Introduction Core Beliefs
Your, core belief, could be that you are a victim and that belief keeps you trapped in that story.
The thing about a, core belief, is that it cannot be easily changed.
Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:
“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in, core beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this, core belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.”
We all have existing, core beliefs, in four areas:
How we feel love,
how we feel security, and
Life after death.
Your, core beliefs, can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one, like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness to help you achieve any goal.
Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs
A, positive core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:
I am loving and lovable.
I am worthy.
I am safe and trusting.
I am fulfilled and whole.
The bible teaches that for God to answer prayer you must first believe and have faith that God is first able and willing to give you the desires of your heart; but there are ways to improve the chances that God will answer your prayer. A prayer is a special kind of intention or, core belief. Therefore, the rules that apply to the, Power of intentions, which are rules about consciousness, apply.
Your prayer will be answered, or not, depending on events happening out of sight – but not out of mind. The mind furnishes the mechanics of making any intention come true. An intention or prayer request, sent to God needs faith to rocket it to the heavens. An intention to graduate at the top of your class or to marry the man of your dreams takes focus, diligence and action. The bible also teaches “Faith Without Works Is Dead”.
Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief?
If you have not found love even after several tries, then you have to look deeply at what you are doing to push love away. Do you have a, core belief, that you are unlovable? How much pain is that belief causing you? It will take a lot of work; but you have to believe that God’s light shines in you and that you deserving of love and happiness.
Do you feel empty inside all the time even though you have all the outward symbols of success like a nice home, a loving husband, a good job, 2 kids and a dog? Then your, core belief, could be that you need to make a contribution to the world like Mother Theresa or like Nelson Mandela to feel fulfilled. You have to change that, core belief, that maybe your purpose is to support your children and help them to fulfill their purpose in the world. Sometimes our role in God’s kingdom is not to change the world but to change one person!
Here is A Self-Awareness Exercise to help you understand Your, Core Beliefs,
Look upon what’s happening now in your life as a reflection of your, core beliefs.
Listen to yourself. Once you figure it out, then turn it around. Ask yourself:
What do I want?
What would I have to believe in order to have this?
Next, you’re going to re-program yourself.
You may need the help of a coach like, Myrna Young, or mentor but; self-awareness is the key to changing your, core beliefs,
As Tony Robbins says, you must associate tremendous pleasure to your new, core belief, For example. See yourself in a loving and fulfilling relationship, going on dream vacations and having a wonderful life together and believe that you are a woman any man can love!
Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept
Self-concept refers to how one perceives themselves, their past experiences, their abilities, their prospects for the future, and any other aspect of the self. Aaron Beck’s cognitive triad, discussed below, deals with self-concept and the construction of the self. The basic idea of how our self-concepts and cognitive biases affect our lives has to do with automatic thoughts.
For example, someone with a negative “self-referential schema” is more likely to take things personally, leading to automatic thoughts like “People are not talking to me because I am an unlikable person”, rather than exploring other possibilities (Disner et al., 2017). A negative self-referential schema can also lead to increased severity of depression symptoms. Most importantly, a negative self-concept can lead to an unending cycle of negative thoughts.
This is because people with negative self-referential schemas exhibit an attentional bias. For example, when asked to decide whether an adjective is self-referential or not, people with depression are more likely to endorse negative adjectives than healthy controls, and they show an attentional bias by being quicker to endorse negative adjectives and quicker to reject positive adjectives than healthy controls (Disner et al., 2017). In turn, being likelier to endorse negative adjectives is correlated with longer “retrospectively reported” depressive episodes, demonstrating the cycle of negativity.
In the world of, Quantum physics, it was discovered that matter can be both a particle and a wave. That everything exists in the wave format, infinite possibility, until it is observed. So to live in, infinite possibility, is to know that you have a, vortex, of un-manifested possibility waiting to become your reality.
In this episode Life coach Myrna Young teaches on living in the state of, infinite possibility. Quantum physics, tells us that until something is observed, it is in the form on the infinite.
Listen to the full interview here:
Observation turns the wave, infinite possibility, into a particle.
Let me explain: when we are born we have, infinite possibilities. We were all born with a purpose and the talent to fulfill that purpose. God said
“ I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
But God also gave us free will, which means that we got to choose which road we wanted to take in life. Either towards our purpose or away from it.
As a kid we dreamed big, we lived in the state of, infinite possibility, We wanted to become doctors and lawyers, firemen and policemen, scientists and movie stars. Our future was a wave full of, infinite possibility. Them someone told us, we were not good at math, so we could never become a doctor or a scientist; because you have to be good at math to become a doctor, so that un-manifested possibility that was in your, vortex, is no longer.
Your, Vortex, represents your Law of Attraction
The wave, infinite possibility, is now observed and has become a particle. Regardless if that statement is true or not, it is now your reality, because perception is reality. You now no longer want to be a doctor or scientist; but think about maybe becoming a nurse or Art teacher because you don’t need to know math.
I once interviewed Ilona Selke the author of the book “Dream Big, the Universe is listening”. She writes whatever you set your intention to, the universe conspires to bring it to you. That is called the Law of Attraction. If you missed that episode Download that episode now on iTunes now, or any of the podcast players.
I love Dr Martin Luther King Jr. and his I have a dream speech. As a pastor and man of God, Dr King lived in the, infinite possibility, that this country would treat a man based on his character, and not the color of his skin. That possibility still exists today but it is still un-manifested in our, vortex.
So in this episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to remind you that You are the Universe apply the Law of Divine Oneness to your Life. You are made up of the same matter as the stars and the Ether. You are an infinite being with, infinite possibilities,. Do not limit yourself, because as soon as you make that observation, you become limited to what your flesh could do.
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As James Allen said, As a man thinketh so is he. You become what you think about, so think as a wave and embrace the, infinite possibilities, of your life.
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Are you on a quest to, find your purpose? It is the only way to find fulfillment and the secret to happiness. Dr. Ken Keis shares six holistic approaches or benchmarks in your quest for, purpose.
Intro to our topic:
Dr. Ken Keis, is a highly sought-after author, speaker, trainer, podcast host, and TV and media guest. His latest books include: Why Aren’t You More Like Me?, Deliberate Leadership, and The Quest For Purpose.
A story on how to find your purpose
So many people listening have been trapped down a pathway that was really sort of conditioned from their background. I woke one morning and asked myself if this was what I wanted to be doing in 20 years from now, and the answer was no. So, I immediately took action. I decided to quit farming and hired a coach to help me figure out what I wanted to do in life. My, quest to, find my purpose, began. What was my purpose in life? The answer, to help others to live, lead and work on purpose. This is the question to, find your purpose.
My coach passed away from cancer many years ago now, and I just took his process and then added and enhanced it. Basically it was a self-discovery narrative and an interactive sort of process to, find your purpose.
What are the six Holistic approaches to, find your purpose?
A lot of times what happens people don’t realize their, purpose, because the question is too big. It’s overwhelming and what we’re trying to do here is get people to fine tune all the components of their life to go to the next level.
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Benchmarks to Finding your Purpose
So let’s go through these benchmarks to, find your purpose.
1. First Benchmark is, Personal Style, CRG is an assessment company. In our quest to, find your purpose, one of our assessments is called “the personal style indicator.” We believe that we are all born with a certain Personal style. Not right not wrong and we develop and we change and we mature in life but our personal style never changes. Myrna is the same Myrna from 10 years ago. In other words Myrna can wake up in the morning and still count on Myrna being Myrna.
2. Biophysical Influences, like Health concerns, physical and mental disabilities. The statistics of North American health is that 75 to 80 percent of people are unwell at some level and another 50 percent are diabetic or pre-diabetic. So there’s no way if I am thinking of, finding my purpose, if I’m sick. I don’t have energy, I have chronic fatigue syndrome, I have immunity disorder or whatever is going on. 90 to 95 percent of all illness is lifestyle related. In my quest to, find my purpose, I need to take my body and treat it well. If I have a racehorse and I don’t take care of that racehorse and then try to have it win the Kentucky Derby, it’s not going to happen.
3. Self-worth – What you think of yourself. We have another assessment called “the self-worth inventory” to, find your purpose, our confidence levels highly influence the decisions we make or not make. So maybe you actually have an idea of your, purpose, but you don’t have the courage to step into it.
4. Environmental systems – Schools , workplace, culture. We are a product of our environment. If I grew up in Florida versus LA or New York, Toronto or Vancouver versus Afghanistan, I’m going to have a different perspective on life and possibly a different path to, find my purpose.
5. Social Teachers – Parents, teachers, pastors As a kid you you very curious. You watched how your parents interacted, they’re teaching you how to treat others. The songs you listened to there’s now linkage towards violence and video games. In your quest to, find your purpose, be aware of what you’re letting in, who you’re working with, who are nurturing your personal relationships.
6. Emotional Anchors or triggers – Divorce, physical and verbal abuse, death of a loved one are all triggers. Any kind of event in life that causes either positive or negative associations becomes a trigger. Every single person listening or reading has triggers. You had an event in life that creates an emotional response. This goes back to a trigger that has been anchored, in many cases these triggers are subconscious. In your quest to, find your purpose, you don’t realize your, purpose, because you’re angry. You can also have unforgiveness. You have not really released yourself of this traumatic event. I had my girlfriend when I was 21 years old murdered by a friend of mine. If I didn’t let go of that event from 1982, it would affect me forever.
7. Spirituality, – This is a bonus because it covers everything. We are spiritual beings have a human experience. All of these seven benchmarks, come together to develop the whole person. They are essential in our quest to, find your purpose. That’s why developing all these areas is critic to finding your, life purpose.
Spirituality, is also consciously spending time developing yourself. It is a fact that you create your world. Most of us believe that we are product of circumstances; but if you believe that you actually can design and create your world, that’s what you will create. So yes, spirituality, the spiritual part of you is very important to, finding your purpose.
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Very powerful conversation with Dr. Ken Keis. Dr Keis is the author of “The Quest for Purpose” A self-discovery process to find it and live it!
To listen to the full episode, download on iTunes, Google play, Sticher, TuneIn radio, iHeart radio.
To quickly summarize, Dr. Keis gave us seven personality development models called benchmarks, that can help you in your quest to, find your purpose, we talked about personality style, we talked about wellness and stress and how it affects how you show up in life, we talked about, self-worth and self-confidence. How that affects what you go after. We talked about the, environmental systems, where you were born and what your parents expect you to become. We talked about, social teachers, the news and our, emotional triggers. If something bad happened to you a lot of times, people can’t get over it. This event hijacks them and it controls most of their thinking.
We talked about, spirituality, which is all-encompassing because we are spiritual beings and what we believe, has one of the most predominant effects in your quest to, find your purpose.
If you have been diagnosed with, mental illness, or, Bipolar, disorder, it means that you probably think of ending your life all the time. In this episode, I interview Gabe Howard, who was diagnosed with, Bipolar disorder, at age 25.
Before then Gabe said that he did not know he was sick. His parents thought he was just acting out and would punish him for his behavior. But he remembers thinking of suicide all his life, until he got treatment. No one knew he was, Bipolar.
I was diagnosed with, Bipolar disorder, when I was when I was 25 years old. I didn’t know that I was sick. I had all of these, mental health, symptoms. They were causing me a lot of personal problems. I had a drug and alcohol problem, hyper sexuality was an issue, my relationships were just being destroyed, all because of, mental illness, but I didn’t know anything was wrong.
Then one day I ended up in a psychiatric hospital, because I was ready to end my own life. I thought about suicide as far back as I can remember.
I just thought it was normal to want to die.
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What is, Bipolar Disorder
Bipolar disorder is a mental illness marked by extreme changes in mood from high to low, and from low to high. Highs are periods of mania, while lows are periods of depression. The changes in mood may even become mixed, so you might feel elated and depressed at the same time.
The problem Gabe says is that when you are in the middle is when you get the job, the girl, the promotion, get married. You usually loose these things when you are depressed or manic; being in the middle is where you want to be.
I became an advocate because I consider myself to be a smart person and I don’t have like some story about how my parents were awful. My parents are good people, they loved me very much. My dad was a truck driver my mom a stay-at-home mom and they did all the things right.
They were engaged, they loved me, they were present and none of us knew that I was, Bipolar, None of us got me any help. I thought wow if I didn’t know, if my family didn’t know, if all of that love and engagement and connection and caring and they just missed it. There must be other people that are in my shoes. That’s why I became a, mental health advocate.
I just wanted to talk about, Bipolar, openly so that there just wouldn’t be other people wandering around sick and scared and symptomatic. They could get help, because I was really lucky.
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Mental Illness is an Asshole is Gabe Howard’s first collection of articles about living with mental illness.
All the articles date from 2014 through 2018 and include his observations on reaching recovery, stigma, and living well in spite of depression, bipolar, and anxiety. Totaling over 380 pages, Gabe even shares the story of his :): logo for the first time.
For years, Gabe Howard’s entertaining articles and essays have been educating people about living with mental illness. His observations cover everything from practical advice to family relationships to the fears that people with mental illness experience.
In essays such as “Anxiety Says Everyone Hates Me,” “I Have Bipolar and I’m a Hypocrite,” and, yes, “Mental Illness Is an Asshole,” Gabe makes mental illness less scary and more understandable.
I had a suicide plan and I just happen to run into somebody that understood that understood mental illness and it she looked at me and asked me “are you planning on killing yourself?” Her training allowed her to ask that question and I said yes! She he me committed to the psychiatric hospital.
I was diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, and of course once I was diagnosed with, bipolar, to go on and lead good life. This is why I always say that I was lucky.
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Bipolar disorder, is commonly described as extreme highs to extreme lows. From suicidal depression all the way to God like mania. As a, Bipolar, you will have to battle depression where you want to die, and feel like you want to die, you feel like you want everything to end. When you are in Mania, you feel like the whole world revolves around you.
Then there is the middle. Everything is normal. That’s when you get the job, that’s when you meet the girl, that’s when you get married, buy the house, have all the friends; all the things that you lose when you become symptomatic.
Psych Meds for, Bipolar Disorder, the Good, Bad, and the Ugly
Psychiatric medications are the religion and politics of the mental health advocacy world.
In this episode, we cover the good, the bad, and the ugly surrounding medications. Like whether or not you should take them. We tackle side effects like feeling numb and sexual dysfunction and share our personal histories with medication therapy.
If you have any form of, mental illness, that you need Meds to function. Medications are amazing, they saved my life. I want to be very clear. Without my medication I cannot live the life that I live. So many people mistakenly believe that psychiatric medications are magical that you just need to take the pill and boom everything is fine and it’s simple.
It’s much bigger than that. In addition to psychiatric medication, therapy is very important, learning coping skills is very important, and going to support groups. You have to deal with the trauma of your past and all of these things matter; but all we ever hear about is psychiatric medication and I want to change that. I want to change it to, did you take your meds and did you go to therapy and did you utilize your coping skills?
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What is the most common cause of, bipolar disorder?
Hormonal problems: Hormonal imbalances might trigger or cause bipolar disorder. Environmental factors: Abuse, mental stress, a “significant loss,” or some other traumatic event may contribute to or trigger bipolar disorder.
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Mental Health Advocate for, Bipolar
Gabe is a, Mental Health Advocate. He remembers when no one knew he was sick for over 20 years. He had a plan to end his life and luckly for him, someone asked him the question “Are you planning on hurting yourself” He answered yes and he was admitted to the Psychiatric ward in hospital.
That saved his life so now, he is a, mental health advocate, to help others suffering from, mental illness, or, bipolar disorder, receive treatment and services.
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Additional Resources for, Bipolar Disorder.
The book is a collection of Articles and all of the Articles have something to do with, mental illness, mental health, loving somebody with, mental illness, dating someone with, bipolar,
It’s almost a reference guide that you can carry around for people with, bipolar, or dealing with somebody who is living with, mental illness, and depression and anxiety, don’t just live with, bipolar, you can have just depression, you can have just anxiety. Even people with schizophrenia, they suffer from depression and anxiety as well.
No fear, How do we say goodbye to Fear and live with courage?
What is fear? The first thing we must realize is that FEAR is False evidence appearing real.
Fear is an energy. Created totally in our minds. The energy of fear is powerful. It can change the quality of lives.
A few years back, I had a guest in my home. When it was time for her to leave, it was dark and she refused to walk out the front door because she was afraid of Frogs jumping on her foot. Now, I have never seen a Frog in my front yard and neither had she; but she must have had an experience of a Frog jumping on her foot and it had traumatized her. So now every time she walks in a yard at dark, she was afraid of Frogs. How can we live with, no fear?
Now this is an example of a trivial fear but ask yourself. Is fear affecting the quality of your life? What would life be like if you had, no fear?
The problem with fear is that it is the bottom feeder of all emotions, that means that if you have fear in your heart you can’t have:
Feelings of belonging,
The most common appearances of fear in the, African American Community, are:
Fear of poverty
Fear of criticism
Fear of ill health
Fear of loss of love
Fear of old age
Fear of death
Today Arifah and I are going to look at how Fear shows up in African American families and how it prevents us from living a life of purpose and abundance.
Here are the symptoms of the, Fear of poverty:
Willingness to tolerate poverty
Acceptance of whatever compensation that life offers without protest.
Mental and physical laziness
Lack of initiative
Lack of imagination
The habit of permitting others to think for you
Sitting on the fence of indecision
Excuses for not taking initiative
Excuses for failures
Envy of those who are successful
Finding fault with others who are successful
My co-host is Arifah Yusuf, registered social worker, specializing in, mental health. She is the founder and program director of Lifted by Purpose.
Lifted by Purpose Provides a diverse range of services including training, workshops with the intent to engage youth in conversations about mental health and learn practical strategies to cope with life stressors.
Here are Arifah’s experience in working with youth and dealing with, No Fear, Living with Courage
In my experience working with young people, majority of children and youth live with anxiety. The anxiety impacts their relationships to function in socially and or academically. As well, how they view themselves and their ability to complete tasks or take risks. Common signs of an anxiety disorder in youth I noticed are:
Constantly worrying about grades
Always trying to be perfect / Being afraid to make mistakes
Not sleeping well
Difficulty managing daily tasks and/or distress related to these tasks.
Anxious predictions – Worrying about something horrible happening (ie. Being embarrassed or humiliated)
Anxious thoughts “ I’m out of control, I can’t do this”
Avoiding friends or social situations and activities
Being afraid of speaking up and asking questions in class
Blanking out or freezing up in stressful situation
Safety behaviors (habits to minimize anxiety and feel “safer,” e.g., always travelling with a friend or have cell phone in their hand)
Excessive physical reactions relative to the context (e.g., heart racing and feeling short of breath in response to certain spaces or when they see certain individuals)
Anxiety is the most common disorder in Canada. 2.6% of Canadians aged 15 and older reported symptoms consistent with generalized anxiety disorder, an anxiety disorder characterized by a pattern of frequent, persistent worry and excessive anxiety about several events or activities.
According to the Anxiety Disorders Association of Canada, “the 12 month prevalence for any anxiety disorder is over 12% and one in four Canadians (25%) will have at least one anxiety disorder in their lifetime”.
Seven Major types of Anxiety Disorders:
(ie. Selective Mutism is a complex childhood anxiety disorder characterized by a child’s inability to speak and communicate effectively in select social settings, such as school. These children are able to speak and communicate in settings where they are comfortable, secure, and relaxed)
Other Anxiety Disorders:
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders (obsessive-compulsive disorder, body dysmorphic disorder, hoarding disorder, trichotillomania, and excoriation disorder).
Trauma and Stressor-Related Disorders(reactive attachment disorder, dis-inhibited social engagement disorder, PTSD, acute stress disorder, and adjustment disorder).
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No Fear, means Living with Courage: How do we define courage?
Aristotle believed courage to be the most important quality in a man or woman. “Courage is the first of human virtues because it makes all others possible,”
How do you build your courage character?
Practice courageous acts.
To build a courageous character, with, no fear, the muscle of courage must be continually strengthened. Aristotle, the ancient philosopher who focused most on courage, said that we develop courage by performing courageous acts. Recent psychological research also suggests that courage is an ethical habit that we develop by repeatedly practicing acts of bravery.
Let me share a personal story with you, that helped me develop courage and have, no fear.
Years ago I was living in the United States as a temporary resident as a Canadian Citizen. I was married and my husband sponsored me and applied for me to become a permanent resident. Before my application was finalized, My brother was getting married in Toronto, Canada and I just upped and left the country for the weekend to attend my brothers wedding.
When I tried to return to the USA, a few days later, border patrol asked me for my Advance Parole documents. I told them I never applied for Advanced Parole. This is a document that gives you permission to leave the country while you have a pending application. The border patrol told me that I had voluntarily abandoned my application by leaving the country and that my husband had to apply again. He also told me I would have to stay in Canada for approximately 2 years while my new application was processed. To date that was one of my darkest days!
Then because he knew that as a Canadian Citizen, I could come back into the country at any time as a visitor, he added that if I tried to sneak back into the country as a visitor and I got caught, I would get a 10 year ban from entering the United states.
I returned back to Canada, and for a week I weighed all my options. I had a husband in the USA, my daughter was in school in the USA, I had a good job in the USA. I decided I had to take the risk of returning to the USA as a Canadian visitor.
So I strapped on some courage, and made myself have, no fear, rented a car and drove myself over the border alone because I did not want to implicate any of my family members.
I drove up to the border patrol with, no fear, and as calmly and as courageous as a dove, I told him that I was going to Buffalo to pick up my husband from the airport. He asked me if I had anything to declare, I said no and he and waved me through!
I would tell you that after that incident, I look fear in the face every time and do it anyway. That is how I started to build my courage muscle having, no fear.
Arifah, do you have a story to share of a time you had to look fear in the eye but do it anyway?
This is a good time to introduce a question I received on my Life coach group on Facebook. I would like for my listeners to join that group. It is a forum to ask questions regarding your current struggles and get answers from me and the group.
This is a question from Mari: How do I have, no fear, to stop bullying
I really need some advice, I have a lot on my plate right now. I lost the love of my life. In December and since I moved in with my dad and brother I have been picking up after them. Folding their clothes. And they make me out to be their maid. I have paid money to have the house clean and it gets messy by the second day. Now since I’ve moved here my brother has been bullying me. He calls me little girl. Saying I’ll never make it on my own. Saying he feels sorry for me. Calls me a retard. Saying I act like a 12 year old. Says I don’t clean up after myself when I have been picking up after them both. Saying I’m a bitch. Calls me dumb ass. The list goes on but I’m trying to get an apartment and I don’t wish nothing bad on him but If he will ever be homeless I’m not going to put up with this. I thought of suicide but hell no!!! I’m just tired of him bullying me.
Arifah, what advice would you give Mari?
As a Life Coach, here are my steps for having, no fear, and building courage.
Exercise and meditation both have the power to lower stress levels and reduce feelings of depression and anxiety, which could help you to act more courageously in the face of challenges.
This is a meditation practice I use every day to build my courage character. It is from the Tibethan Monk Dandipanni
Sit quietly and start witnessing your breathe
Be aware of the air as it enters your nostrils and follow it all the way down to your belly.
Hold your breathe for a few seconds and then breathe out, once again follow your breathe as it exits your nostrils.
Do this for 3 breaths
Now become aware of your feet on the ground. Focus your attention on your big toe on your left foot. Feel the energy in your left toe as it becomes warm. Now keep your attention on your left foot and feel the energy as it climbs through your feet, ankles, calf, knees, quads, hips. Move this energy into your spine and hold it there.
Repeat this with your right foot, left arm and then right arm.
Hold the energy that you directed from all your limbs into your spine and now think about a courageous act. I think of the courageous act I just shared with you. Your energy body is now infused with courage.
Now send this energy back to your right arm, left arm, right foot and left foot.
This is how you build your courageous body and have, no fear!
So What’s the secret to, living the life of your dreams? Have you wondered how someone can be born with nothing, and then live a, dream life? They can live in abject poverty, having nothing to eat, sometimes homeless and in a few years become a millionaire?
In this episode of the Transform your mind, to Transform your Life, radio show and podcast, registered social worker and mental health counselor, Ms Arifah Yusuf Mortley, share what we believe is the secret to, living the life of your dreams. Arifah is the founder and Program Director of Lifted by Purpose, a company that Provides a diverse range of services including workshops or programs designed to help the youth in Toronto, Canada deal with mental health issues, make positive changes in their lives after issues with the criminal justice system. Arifah has been a registered social worker specializing in mental health for over 15 years. She just started working with the prison system to help inmates live fulfilling lives when released from prison.
There are more, rags to riches, stories than rich kids born with trust funds.
A young boy was born into poverty in a rundown section of San Francisco. This young boy became a fan of football legend Jim Brown, then the running back for the Cleveland Browns. Even though this young boy was crippled by Rickets from malnutrition, he dreamed of one day becoming a star running back like his hero Jim Brown.
Since he had no money to pay to see his hero play, he would wait outside the stadium for the maintenance crew to open up the gate in the fourth quarter and he would hobble on his crocked legs into the stadium and watch the balance of the game.
At the age of 13, he walked into an ice cream parlor one day after a 49’rs game against the Browns and came face to face with his idol, Jim Brown.
He went up to him and said “Mr Brown I Am your biggest fan. I know every record you’ve ever set, every touch down you’ve ever scored. Mr Brown one day I am going to break every one of your records.”
Jim Brown smiled and said “That great Kid. What’s your name?”
The young boy smiled and said “Orenthal James Simpson my friends call me O.J”
O.J Simpson did indeed go on to break all of Jim Brown’s records proving that, whatever you water will grow, and that, energy goes where attention flows.
Arifah what is your experience as a counselor with youth transforming their lives from nothing to something?
I think the story is very powerful in terms of sharing his lived experiences with adversity and having a mindset from an early age to be great. Being able to meet his mentor, the person that he looked up to was also a great moment in his life. I admire that he not only set a goal to be like his hero Jim Brown but he wanted to surpass him.
I know that’s the same even with me working with young people often when you’re in your situation sometimes you feel stuck but then if you take the moment to look at it and be like well if I feel like this is the worst situation for me the only way to go is up from here.
The best thing to do is to reflect on your situation, then look at your strengths and look at how you use those strengths. Ask yourself how do I use those resources around me to get where I need to go. Then you can definitely work towards transforming your life.
I have a story of a young person. He was referred to me by another social worker. This young man was always in and out of incarceration. I was working on a peer support project with young people sharing their lived experiences and the learning from these experiences with other young
People. This young man was awaiting trial for a new charge and while he was working in the program, he developed a lot of skills. He learned to tell his story and self- reflect on some of his challenges.
One day his story connected with another youth and the youth told him his story changed his life. That made him feel like a leader. He became inspired to help more youths in the program.
He graduated from our program, got a job in trades work and when he came out of prison got a full time job at a top company. Today he is a supervisor, making good money and supporting his family.
As a, Life coach, I know for a fact that if you keep watering your goals with your attention and have faith and perseverance, you will one day manifest them into your experience and soon you will be, living the life of your dreams.
As a gift to my radio and podcast audience I want to give you a free copy of my book Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement.
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So how do you transform your current lack of resources, love, energy, or just a miserable existence to, Living the Life of your Dreams?
I am a follower of Ester Hicks and the consciousness of Abraham. I believe that The universe responds to whatever you focus on. You could be laying in bed with a broken body or in a broken relationship and you could shift your reality to where you want to be and that would become your new point of attraction.
If you were to focus on what you don’t have, you are in fact activating it to continue in your life. Eg If you focus on your lack of money or the lack of a man that is what you will continue to have.
Arifah what are some exercises or steps you help your clients to live a, Life of their dreams ?
I focus on a strength-based assessment. This assessment helps young people recognize their strengths or skills abilities and the things that they’re good at doing. We made a list of things that he was good at. Some of the things that he profited from illegally; but skills like marketing, figuring out demographics, leadership, acquiring a team. The skills were transferable into other things.
Then we figured out what jobs matched the skills he was good at. For example, he was good with his hands so we looked at construction jobs or trade jobs like plumbing.
Once we listed the jobs that he had an aptitude for, then it was just connecting him to those Resources. We looked for friends or family members who worked in that industry. We made a resource list of who he knew and where they worked.
Then we looked at what steps would he have to take to apply or what skills was needed for each job. After this process, he became a little bit more hopeful. He started to approach the problem with a positive mindset and a strategy.
My youth are able to find the perfect job and start, living the life of their dreams.
Here are the, Life coaching, steps to, Living the Life of Your Dreams
As a Life coach I ask my clients to utilize their imagination.
To withdraw their attention from the negative vibration of their current situation and dream.
Our brains can’t tell the difference between real or imagined images.
Launch their creation of their abundant life by launching their desires into the universe. Think of OJ Simpson.
Become pure positive energy like a breath of fresh air
Everyone has something they can be grateful for even if it is feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin or being able to walk in the rain. Do you know that people in prison would give anything to feel the sun or walk in the rain. Positive vibration attracts positive things and circumstances into your experience.
Control where your awareness goes within your mind because that is where your energy flows.
Learn the fine art of concentration
Concentration is defined as holding your awareness on one thing.
Do you remember the book and movie the secret?
It was about the Law of attraction and creating vision boards and everyone in the movie had their vision come true. Everyone was living the, like of their dreams.
So what’s the secret to, living the life of your dreams? “Believe, have faith and persevere”
God said I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and give you hope.
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