You Don’t Need A Team To Win

Colin Kaepernick Team

You can win without a, team. Whenever you get out of your comfort zone and go against the masses you will first be ostracized, but that is where personal growth occurs.

Welcome to, 5 mins with coach Myrna.  Today I want to coach on the topic “You Don’t need a, team, to win.”  I am sure you have heard the name, Colin Kaepernick.  He is an NFL quarterback turned, activist. He is bi-racial born to a Black father and White mother. His mother gave him up for adoption at birth and he was adopted by White parents.

Download  to the audio here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9613598-you-don-t-need-a-team-to-win.mp3?download=true

Introduction

All his life, Colin Kaepernick,  had been discriminated against because he was black. People would see him with his white patents and ask them if he was bothering them. He was called names like Thug, because he braided his hair. He was discriminated in the NFL because he was black and there are only a handful of Black quarterbacks.

Because of this history, he was tired of Black men being brutalized by white officers and decided to take a stand.  His motto ,

“Believe in something. Even if it means sacrificing everything.”

Kaepernick, decided to do something about it. He took a knee to the National Anthem to protest police brutality and racial inequality in the United States while his teammates stood in reverence.

Everyone was in an uproar, President Trump called for him to be fired. When he became a free agent, he was blackballed and no team offered him a job.  But he became an inspiration to other Black men in the NFL and they started taking a knee to the National Anthem.

Kaepernick the Activist

Today, Kaepernick, has been rewarded the largest contract to date with Nike.  He was given the highest honor from Harvard University the W. E. B. Du Bois Medal and he got a chance to tell his story in a Netflix documentary “Black & White”  about,  Institutional racism.

Institutional racism, is “The collective failure of an organization to provide an appropriate and professional service to people because of their color, culture, or ethnic origin. It can be seen or detected in processes, attitudes and behavior that amount to discrimination through prejudice, ignorance, thoughtlessness, and racist stereotyping which disadvantage minority ethnic people.”

Kaepernick’s victory proves that, You don’t need a, team, to win.

Winning without a team or support

Whenever you get out of your comfort zone and go against the masses you will first be ostracized, but that is where personal growth occurs.

You can’t grow sitting in your comfort zone

Stand up for yourself and take a stand against wrongdoing at work, in your home or on your community. You don’t need a, team, to win you just need God to be on your side.

What I love about the Old Testament is that nobody did anything without consulting God. David, Saul, Samuel, Elijah they all consulted God before they went into battle. We as a collective have lost that communication with God, but if you are doing good then you know God is on your side and he is the only team member you need to win.

Winning requires Determinization

Finally, winning without a, team, requires, determination. Teams, need to have the, determination, the grit, and the heart to rise to the occasion and so do you. Nothing is ever going to be easy, the road to holding a trophy or being awarded a top prize is often filled with obstacles that will test every aspect of your character.

It doesn’t matter what the score is or what the final records will read, if you are in the game, you need to give everything you have. It doesn’t matter if you are blackballed like, Colin Kaepernick, you still need to stand up for what you believe is right. This is the mentality that will lead to, winning without a team. Champions recognize that losing and failure are both simply tools that they will use to build success.

Conclusion

Remember ” Winners never quit and quitters never win” Vince Lombardi

Thanks for tuning into 5 mins with coach Myrna. Tune in Next week for another episode of 5 mins with Coach Myrna. 

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-assemble-power-team-like-wandavision/

 

Does Love have a Color: The Interracial Marriage Experience

The Happiness Wheel

Not until after we got married Kevin confided and shared with me a few situations where family members questioned his choices and wanted to ensure he understood the challenges that come with an, interracial marriage. Ericka Augutis

I want to invite you guys all to the table. We are going to be talking on the topic the, “The Color of love, interracial marriages, in America”   my guest today is Erica Augustus.

Listen to the interview

Interracial Marriage in America

Ericka and I became friends when we worked at Office Depot for about 10 years, and we have maintained our friendship.  I decided that I wanted to get into the conversation on, interracial marriages, in America because of what’s been happening in the world and specifically in the last month or so.

It’s a very difficult place for a, black woman, married to a, white man. I think it’s even a little bit more complicated when your partner or your spouse cannot understand a lot of the times your, black experience.   I was listening to a podcast a few weeks ago and this, black woman, was talking about her experience.

She was married for 13 years to a, white man, the marriage dissolved not because of racial differences or any kind of racial problems, but she said it contributed to it, because her husband never really got into the conversation.  If she would come home and say she was discriminated against at the office, he didn’t have a response or didn’t talk about it and then the host asked her the question.

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Interracial Marriage black man white woman
Interracial Marriage black man white woman

Can a, white man, love a, black woman, and still be a racist?

And her response was, “love has nothing to do with it”, now that piqued my interest and that’s the predominant reason that I wanted to get into this conversation, and have you guys all join in the conversation and discuss, the color of love.

Interracial Marriage Interview Highlights

    1. How did you and your husband meet?
    2. How Ericka and Kevin handled the stares from Black and White people in their, interracial marriage, when they walked down the street.
    3. What are her thoughts on Systemic racism, did her husband understand her experience as a, Black woman.
    4. Love has no color. How easy is it to love someone from a different race?
    5. How does she and her husband talk to her black sons regarding the police.
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My name is Ericka Augutis, my husband  Kevin and I have been married for 18 years 19 in November.  We do have two children. One is 14 and the other is 4.

We met about 22 years ago. He worked at a local Blockbuster in my neighborhood. He was a manager and anytime I would go into the store to look at videos, he would offer to help me.  Well that’s when our relationship started.  Finally we went on our first date and I have to say it was really awkward for both of us and I thought okay I’m never doing that again. He was super quiet there was very little conversation.  A few months went by and he called again, and asked for a second date and I was going to say no, but my mom chimed in and asked me to give him another chance.  I’m so glad I did that second date because we just had the best time.

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We dated to my dismay for nearly five years,  we were engaged twice. The first proposal I  accepted I was elated.  I was excited to say yes; but a few months later we went to a party with some of our friends and I realized some of the ladies didn’t even know I was engaged. Here I was super excited and some of his circle of friends didn’t know that were engaged. So, it really hit me hard.  I felt like okay I’m really pressuring him into this, interracial  marriage. So I called off the engagement.

After that we kind of went our separate ways for a few months and then we slowly started dating again. And I have to say both of us matured during that time of separation and he proposed a second time in restaurant. He got down on one knee in front of all these people and proposed me a second time. This time he was ready! We got married like a year later.

Myrna Young Did you think that he maybe didn’t want to tell his friends he was engaged because you were a, black woman?

Ericka Augutis No, I don’t think the fact that we were contemplating an, interracial marriage, had anything to do with it, or the, color of love, because I was in his circle of friends for four years. We all vacationed together so it wasn’t that. I just felt like he wasn’t ready and I was forcing him to get married.

Myrna Young I’m going to ask you not a question as a follow-up to that.  So all the time you guys dated, five years or so, you got engaged twice you didn’t see color?  The question today is there a, color of love?  Did any of your friends treated you differently? Or said  Ericka he’s white?  None of his friends says hey Kevin why do you want to marry a, black woman? Nothing?

Ericka Augutis Not until after we got married Kevin confided and shared with me a few situations where family, maybe one or two family members, questioned his choices and wanted to ensure he understood the challenges to come with an, interracial marriage.

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So yes, from my perspective it came later as well, being a successful, black woman,  my parents and other family members wanted to know why I was  dating someone that doesn’t look like me. I really had to kind of ask myself that question as well.  I realized it’s not as if I said to myself,  I’m going to find a Caucasian man and have this, interracial marriage. I fell in love with a white man.

Myrna Young Yea Love is color blind actually, Love is an Emotion, it’s a feeling and it doesn’t see color!

Ericka Augutis There were experiences and times where we had to deal with the looks and the stairs especially when we would go into places where everyone was a little older.  I would say during that time anyone that was over age of 65 would give us those looks on both sides. It’s not just the Caucasian folks, black folks as well.

Myrna Young Did you let the stares and looks bother you?

Ericka Augutis No, Kevin was always so confident and strong and it made me just feel like I had nothing to worry about. But there was this time just after we had our son Kevin Jr,  we were having dinner in this fancy restaurant and this gentleman,  I probably shouldn’t call him a gentleman. A white man,  came over to our table and he said to Kevin, Is this your son? My husband says yes, he says well I’m going to tell you I’m a doctor that’s not your son!

You got to be kidding me!

I am not kidding.  it was such a strange experience. I mean he just came over and I think his goal was just to disturb our night and really rock and test the foundations of our, interracial marriage. That was one experience that I’ll never forget.

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Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Myrna Young Okay but in your marriage of itself was there any kind of friction at all regarding race?  Was all the friction from outside people looking in and trying to disturb your harmony?  For instance as a, black woman, is it hard to go and talk to a partner that is outside your race about racism that’s been happening to you?  Because, it’s not their experience and they can’t understand it how a, black women, survive in the workplace for instance? As a, black woman, I have not been discriminated against a lot and especially growing up in Canada; but I know that if I was talking to a, black man, who had a white spouse, it would have been a totally different conversation. Because as a, black man, he would have been harassed by the police, he would have been discriminated at work, he would have experienced racism throughout his life. Racism that  his white spouse would not be able to understand or identify.

So, did any of those situations happen in your marriage where your husband couldn’t understand your black experience?

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Ericka Augutis I would say initially when we’re in the newlywed stage, there were a few situations, super minor things, nothing hardcore or anything like that; but I could tell there was an inequality in the situation.  When I  talked about it, he would always ask me why  I was so passionate? That was his word or way of saying, why are you so angry? It took me about three or four times of him saying that or using that phrase for me to get that he’s trying to ask me to express myself and make him understand.  Why was something so small making you angry?  So, once I understood what he was truly trying to say and ask me, we had a tough conversation on racism.

I explained to him  the history black people and the challenges I’ve experienced throughout my career being a, black woman.  I think in his career not everyone knows he’s married to a, black woman; so he would hear things people would say that were borderline racist and he would tell me he got it.

Myrna Young Not only did your husband not understand your black experience but as a, black woman, I didn’t understand my husband’s black experience either. My husband was a police officer and what upset him more than anything else was that he was going out there every night putting his life on the line and yet the white officers were racial against him.  Not just my husband; but they were racist against all the black officers in the department. There was no equality even when they could die together.  My husband would say we bleed the same blood, when we’re out there on the street and I am treated differently. I didn’t understand until recently when I understood the definition of a racist and the definition of racist policies.  I had to go back to him and apologize for not understanding.

That’s basically what I would I wanted to you know.  To find out from you how is the cohesiveness in an, interracial marriage, when one person has white privilege and the other person has to claw their way for everything?

So, the other question I have on here is and I think you mentioned it, people staring at you and I think you said that you felt protected because Kevin was so strong and you weren’t scared; but did it bother you psychologically?

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Ericka Augutis We’ve been married for so long,  I would say it bothered me until we had our son.  A small portion of me would wonder is it worth it?   Is it worth it, why can’t we just go out to dinner and just have a nice dinner without any stares, comments or judgment?  So I would say, yes it does bother you, it does affect you.  You just have to find a way to deal with it and ensure that your relationship is solid enough where it’s worth it.

How does Interracial Marriage affect children?

Myrna Young How does your 14-year-old son, he’s old enough to understand what’ going on right now in the world, how does he relate to having a white dad?

Ericka Augutis Oh, that’s a good question so, he’s actually okay with it. He was in Boy Scouts from the age of I think five or six until 12 years old and I remember we were on a camping trip he may have been 7 or 8 at the time and he came into our tent and I could tell something was wrong.  His face was a little flushed, so I said to him what’s wrong he said this kid asked him why is your dad white and your mom black?

I said, what did you say?  He says I said because they love each other! So I think he’s okay with what’s going on right now.  I did not know how to quite handle it when a child asked him like where is he from? If he was Spanish?  I think that’s he’s at that stage where he’s getting that question and has to figure out how he’s going to handle it and answer it.

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Is there a Color to Love? The Answer is NO.

Myrna Young It sounds like your, interracial marriage, is healthy. You guys don’t see color.  Your, color of love, is blended.  You love your kids, you show them love you don’t show them a difference and that’s definitely the way to go about it.  So your, interracial marriage,  experience has been a good one.  As a, black woman, marrying outside of your race  you still go through get the same racism and racist policies that our, black men, go through on a lesser scale.

That’s basically what I wanted to have a conversation so that we can shed a light on, interracial marriages. I mean we’re looking at black and white but, interracial marriage, can also be Spanish and black or even religion Muslim and Christian or anything that makes you different.  It causes some controversy or cause some friction.

Ericka Augutis I don’t want the podcast listeners thinking I am making, interracial marriage, sound like it’s just perfect.  Absolutely not, there are challenges don’t get me wrong.  When we get invited to parties and there’s only a sprinkle of brown and black people in room, you have to figure out how to navigate.  Do you want to be like over-the-top polished or just be yourself. When our families get together we both have to play roles.  Every day you encounter racism. If you’re dealing with the public or you go in a public space you’re dealing with those types of situations where people are looking people are asking questions so it’s a conversation that you have more often than not. When you’re in a relationship like this, it’s something that you have to deal with if you want it to work out.

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Myrna Young I thank you for coming on and having a seat at this table I appreciate it. I hope our readers and listeners learned a few things one, interracial marriages, can work. They can be successful, you just have to have love and talk about it.

I want to remind you that if you like this content, please share with your friends, subscribe on iTunes rate and leave a review.

Additional Resources and mentions

Paradigm Shifts that can Heal Racism in America

https://blog.myhelps.us/find-your-soulmate-science-of-attraction/

https://voxeu.org/article/incarceration-unemployment-and-black-white-marriage-gap-us

 

 

Paradigm Shifts that can Heal Racism in America

Racism in America

Dr Jeff Gusky shares paradigm shifts that must occur, for America to heal after the, COVID 19, pandemic and Systemic, racism. Paradigm shifts are vital to our safety and recovery in America. These paradigm shifts could restore humanity and save America from destruction.

Dr. Jeff Gusky is a board-certified emergency physician now in the front lines against COVID 19.  Dr. Gusky is also a renowned National Geographic photographer and Explorer his discoveries and photographs are now featured at the Smithsonian National Museum of African American history and culture. He found a secret hidden for over a hundred years that should change the way we see, racism, in America.

We open our eyes to the danger of the indoor air we breathe and, COVID 19

The air we breathe is an invisible killer. The, COVID 19, coronavirus spreads like wildfire because of the dryness of indoor air.  We spend 90% of our lives indoors and the right humidity saves lives.

There is a simple plan that makes invisible danger, visible and that is a device called a Hygrometer. Indoor humidity is between 50 and 60 percent, so I believe that this is the most important public health measure.

Americans can do right now because it helps to prevent small viral outbreaks from becoming massive viral bombs.  Property humidity will save lives and will get America back to work sooner and safer.

It is almost like a bulletproof vest for our respiratory tract. We have mucous membranes that goes from the tip of our nose and our mouth all the way deep into our lungs and what lines our mucous membranes; but mucus when the air is dry is impaired.  It dries out and cracks and pathogens like, COVID 19,  can get into our bodies.

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I like to say, It’s the weather stupid! Because it turns out that outdoor weather affects indoor air. We know about humidity because we get the relative humidity from the weather forecast; but that has nothing to do with indoor humidity.  It turns out that indoor air is bone-dry  and that is why the, COVID 19, virus spreads in nursing homes.

The tragedy of nursing homes is also the problem with inner cities.  The inner city poor are also affected. In both situations you have high population density indoors and dangerously dry indoor air acts like an accelerant.  You should go out and you buy on Amazon or Walmart a digital hygrometer. They only sell  for like $12 or $14.  a digital hygrometer  is a little device that gives you a real-time readout of your indoor humidity.

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Paradigm shift  – Addressing, Systemic Racism,  in America.

This podcast interview was recorded before the murder of, George Floyd, by a Police Officer in Minnesota. Dr Gusky said in this interview long before the entire world got to see a black man’s life ebb away while the Police Officer just continued to kneel on his neck for close to 9 mins, killing him. So it is surreal that a White man said that we need  a paradigm shift  to save America from self-destruction because of, racism. Dr Gusky said when we belief in each other, healing race is possible.

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Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

The paradigm shifts that must occur in America to remove, systemic racism, are the following:

  • We must remove racist ideas.  A racist idea is an idea that one race is superior to another.  It is removing White supremacy. All races are created equal in the eyes of God.
  • Systemic racism, reveals itself when White people feel that they are superior and that, Black Lives Don’t Matter.  Black Lives Matter, Brown Lives Matter, All Lives Matter

  • We must remove racist policies. A racist policy is any policy that leads to inequality and Systemic injustice Like the police officers profiling Black men or employers not hiring Blacks because they feel like they are lazy. Just one of the stereotypes that contributes to, racism in America.
  • We must become Anti-Racists and not just call ourselves, non-racist. A non-racist does nothing.  A racist has racist ideas or racist policies by action or thought.   A racist idea is is any idea that promotes that one group is better than another group it promotes racial hierarchy so the opposite of that is that is not non-racist but Anti-Racist. There is no middle ground.  
Racism in America - How to become an Anti-racist
Racism in America – How to become an Anti-racist

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

As an explorer, Dr Gusky found a secret hidden for over a hundred years that should change the way we see, racism in America.  It’s a dignity story about African-American heroes who faced down a frightening infectious disease pandemic during the Spanish-American war and won their courage back. They were a shining example of how we can win against the, COVID 19,  pandemic we are facing now. In crisis we should see differently,  we shouldn’t see race, because the virus doesn’t see race. It kills Black, White, Yellow and Brown alike. So we should see A human race. Two African American patriots who lived more than a century ago, show us what it means to be an American.  When we face extreme danger together,  and trust in each other, it is the glue that gets us through.

Dr Gusky found a hidden world from world war 1, that was basically unknown to the outside world.  These were underground cities, hidden beneath the former trenches with tens of thousands of soldiers. One of these places turned out to be the only trace of an African American combat unit.  These discoveries are now featured in the exhibit at the SNM of African American history and culture near the White House.  The exhibit will probably be there through September.

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We got, racism, wrong in America and  we now have a second chance to get, racism, right.  This black unit was the only all African-American unit in the US military with all black soldiers and all black officers and  they fought been together for America for 49 years.  The story shows African American political power and self-determination that had existed long before Dr. Martin Luther King was born.

The sad news is that we are still fighting for racial equality in this nation.  It has been 40 years since the march at Selma over the bridge and we as Black people are still marching over bridges, protesting and the White supremacist still don’t see us as human. We have been saying, black Lives Matter, for decades.  We have shouted it from the pews in churches, we have shouted it in marches, we have shouted it in congress and they turn a deaf ear.  Now since, George Floyd’s death, they are finally listening.

Racism, it’s not an intellectual thing it’s a visceral thing.  The Civil War was the beginning of a long difficult journey to demand the end of, racism in America, but America got stuck along the way because it benefited them financially to keep their, knees on our neck!

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Welcome to Cotton For The Soul™ podcast, www.cottonforthesoul.com an up close and personal raw & unfiltered perspective on life experience of eating a plant-base diet. Spreading Good vibrations while living a minimalist lifestyle outside the matrix. Whether you have taken the pill of knowledge or the pill of blissful ignorance, thank you for tuning in from down the rabbit hole. Now, buckle your seat-belt because it’s about to get real! We upload a new episode every Thursday

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Paradigm shift – Radical Transparency in the media.

A  new approach to protecting free speech while protecting society from human predators who manipulate media to incite fear and rage during times like now, when people are vulnerable angry and afraid.  I’ve witnessed the dangers of mass media without transparency in a very personal way.  I was the first fine art photographer to go behind the former Iron Curtain and documented the hidden world of the Holocaust after the fall of the Berlin Wall.  I’ve walked the ground remote corners of Europe and the former Soviet Union where millions were murdered in modern times because no one stopped a few bad people from turning civilized nations into weapons of mass destruction using media. So mass media without transparency gives people with a pathological essence of conscience, like  the Harvey Weinstein’s of the world.  Unimaginable power to do evil and they all use the same tired old formula of myths amplified by media to incite rage and crowds for power.

Predators love media, because it gives them enormous power over the rest of us while concealing who they really are and what they’re really up to.

The paradigm shift only works when transparency doesn’t work because when media has no checks and balances, we have almost no way of knowing when it’s fake news.

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Dr Gusky is  a professional speaker I’m represented by National Geographic speaker’s bureau.  If anyone wants to have me come speak or even online they can contact National Geographic speaker’s bureau or  online at www.JeffGusky.com. and if they can if the are  in Washington before September please stop by the Smithsonian exhibit.

If you have not done so yet, please rate, review and subscribe to the Transform Your Mind podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcast. I also want to invite you to join my private Facebook group called Life Coach.

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Additional Resources 

8 Minutes and 46 Seconds: How George Floyd Was Killed in Police Custody

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

Coronavirus: How to Protect Yourself