The transformative journey from living an ordinary life to one that makes people turn heads in awe — becoming a, wow woman — is an inner trek that involves self-reflection, self-love, and a breadth of personal development. Based on insights shared by Katia Stern, a life coach, author, and self-proclaimed, wow woman, this process isn't just about external perceptions; it's a profound internal evolution that shapes how a woman sees herself and, subsequently, how the world sees her.
Embracing Personal Audacity: Commit to pursuing your desires and stepping outside conventional boxes after the age of 40 — it's never too late to transform and inspire.
Self-Love as the Foundation: Prioritize self-love and acceptance, understanding these are prerequisites for a significant transformation.
Navigating Femininity and Masculinity: Learn how to balance masculine and feminine energies, especially in relationships, to maintain healthy dynamics and personal satisfaction.
From Now to “Wow”: Decoding the Transformational Process
The conversion from an everyday woman to one that captures attention and admiration often involves charting a path that catapults personal development to the forefront. Katia's body transformation journey was a pivotal starting point where she embraced an inspiring vision — competing in fitness bikini body building competitions. This goal was neither born from dissatisfaction nor merely the desire to look better; it came from an acknowledgment of personal potential and the pursuit of a compelling vision.
This goal-setting, or rather, desire-setting, is a testament to the power of aspiring for meaningful and far-reaching objectives. As Katia asserted, “It's not a nice thing. And I was doing that outside part. I was doing pretty well, but that didn't bring me that satisfaction that I was searching for.”
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The cornerstone of becoming a, wow woman, as illustrated by Katia, lies in cultivating profound self-love. This isn't merely about pampering oneself with external luxuries — although these can be expressions of self-love — but about the transformative acceptance of one's starting point, forgiving oneself, and undertaking actions that align with self-care and respect. Katia Stern conveyed the nuance of self-love, emphasizing, “Self-love is how you would want your partner, your lover, would want to treat yourself.”
The Consequences of Repressed Femininity
A recurring theme in Katia's discourse was the nuanced struggle women often face with suppressed sensuality and femininity due to societal norms and professional obligations. She shared insights on how these societal pressures compel women to adopt a more, masculine energy, mainly when ascending professional ladders and fulfilling multiple life roles. The challenge, therefore, lies in re-embracing one's femininity, especially in romantic relationships where the interplay of masculine and, feminine energies, is crucial. Katia advised, “Use that, feminine energy, to establish trust in the universe and learn to surrender, to create a space for a masculine man to step in and balance the dynamic.”
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Becoming a Wow Woman: Finding your Unique quality
A, wow woman, essence is deeply etched in her ambition to fuel dreams and desires that align with her true self — not dictated by external expectations or comparisons. It's an invitation to live boldly and authentically. Katia sternly rejects generic standards of success and ‘wowness', advocating instead for a personalized approach, “my wow is not your wow.”
Language plays a fundamental role in shaping our mindset towards achieving our ambitions. Katia’s recommendation to replace the word “goal” — which carries a certain masculine weight — with “desire” is a strategic reframe that can energize and feminize the pursuit of our aims. This shift in vocabulary can have a profound effect on our mental approach, influencing our perseverance and excitement towards achieving these desires.
Katia Stern’s narrative shows us that the wow is not just a badge of external marvel; it’s an inside out revolution of self-perception, confidence, and the art of balancing our power. By cultivating self-love that manifests as a disciplined commitment to our desires, embracing our inherent femininity, and trusting in the power of personal evolution without the bounds of age, every woman has the capacity to evoke her own brand of wow. Through this, she becomes an inspiration not just for herself, but to others who are privileged to witness her transformation.
Through personal audacity, self-love as the foundation, and navigating femininity and masculinity, Katia Stern implores women worldwide to embark on their own journeys of remarkable transformation. It's a clarion call to stop waiting on the sidelines, embrace the complex tapestry of emotions and experiences, and step into the spotlight of your own life's stage where wow is not just an exclamation, but your state of being.
Dr. Romie expounds on leveraging, mindfulness techniques, to combat stress, manage a “busy brain,” and promote overall wellness. In today's world, where stress and burnout have become commonplace, the quest for achieving inner peace seems ever more urgent. Dr. Romie Mushtaq, a board-certified physician merging neurology, integrative medicine, and mindfulness, offers transformative insights into tackling these overwhelming challenges that modern lifestyles impose.
Mindfulness can be a potent tool for, managing stress, and combating the “busy brain” syndrome, characterized by anxiety, focus issues, and insomnia.
Restoring one's, circadian rhythm, and addressing underlying medical conditions, such as, thyroid disease, can be pivotal in, managing stress, and sleep problems.
An eight-week protocol, as outlined in Dr. Romie Mushtaq book “The Busy Brain Cure,” provides a structured approach to finding focus, managing anxiety, and, improving sleep quality.
Mindfulness Techniques for Busy Brains
The Phenomenon of the Busy Brain
The term “busy brain” reflects a condition that goes beyond the normal plethora of daily thoughts. It refers to a state where an individual's brain is constantly in overdrive, marked by an inability to focus, heightened anxiety, and persistent sleep disturbances. As Dr. Romie explains, a, busy brain, is not merely about having many thoughts, but primarily about the uncontrolled and intrusive nature of these thoughts. Particularly negative ones, that people struggle to manage.
“A busy brain is you have a pattern of inflammation in your brain that's causing these three symptoms. […] difficulty focusing, feeling anxious, and insomnia.”
By understanding that a, busy brain, is a condition amplified by, chronic stress, and inflamed neurological pathways, the first step towards managing it lies in recognizing its symptoms and impact on our daily functions.
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Mindfulness Techniques: Sound healing
Incorporating, sound healing, as one of the, mindfulness techniques, that serves as a gateway to mindfulness for those who find sitting in silence daunting. Dr. Romie underscores the significance of, sound healing, in aiding cognitive focus and emotional regulation. Drawing upon its ancient roots and scientific validation. The use of, binaural beats, and certain frequencies of music can bring one's brain back into focus.
“The idea was, to use binaural beat sound healing, where you're using headphones to listen to a certain frequency of music, and that can actually help bring your brain back into focus.”
The practice presents a dynamic and accessible approach to mindfulness. Catering to the modern individual's need for immediate and tangible relief from the incessant chatter of a, busy brain.
Addressing Sleep Patterns and Underlying Health Issues
Correcting sleep patterns is crucial for managing a, busy brain. Dr. Romie prescribes a seven-day sleep challenge based on, cognitive-behavioral therapy, for insomnia that addresses lifestyle habits disrupting our natural, sleep cycle. She also highlights the importance of investigating and treating underlying health issues, such as thyroid disease, which are often overlooked.
“We ask people to actually abstain from alcohol for two to three weeks, because that will wake you up in the middle of the night and prevent you from going to deeper stages of sleep.”
By combining adjustments in sleep hygiene with medical scrutiny, people can considerably reduce the symptoms of a, busy brain, and lay the foundation for improved, mindfulness techniques.
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Cultivating a Culture of Wellness through Mindfulness Techniques
The Integration of Mindfulness in Corporate America
Dr. Romie stresses that, chronic stress, is not just an individual issue but a systemic one that requires organizational change. Her work in corporate America, educating Fortune 500 companies and scaling mindfulness programs, denotes a significant shift in how businesses address employee wellness.
“What if I got real and really thinking about your audience and what your podcast focused on is I had the wrong mindset on what success was. […] We can't expect the workforce to be like this.”
Through promoting, mindfulness techniques, and creating programs tailored to the corporate environment, Dr. Romie is challenging long-established beliefs about success and productivity that have often come at the expense of mental well-being.
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Personal Narratives and Finding Common Ground
The concept of renting success from one's well-being resonates with many, and the narratives shared in “The Busy Brain Cure” offer diverse perspectives, helping readers identify with the issues at hand. Such personal stories are vital in breaking down the stigma attached to stress and mental health struggles in professional circles.
“I remember knowing what it was like to walk those hospital corridors in this really dark place. We didn't have terms of mental health crisis or burnout back then, and I felt so alone.”
Dr. Romie's openness about her journey paves the way for a more empathetic understanding of, stress management. It invites individuals and organizations to take a more humane approach to performance and success.
The Busy Brain Cure: An Empowering Protocol for Mental Health
The “Shift” Protocol: Structured and Holistic Approach to Healing
Dr. Romie's book introduces readers to the “Shift” protocol, which holistically addresses Sleep, Hormones, Inflammation, Food as Fuel, and Technology's role in our lives. By following these carefully outlined steps, individuals can embark on a transformative journey that promises relief from the mental chaos that afflicts so many.
“We walk you through the eight-week protocol, little brain shifts or micro habits to do to heal these key five areas that will help you heal.”
This guided structure empowers readers to take actionable steps towards reclaiming control of their mental and emotional well-being.
By recounting the efficacy of incorporating mindfulness into, stress management, practices and underlining the importance of addressing sleep and medical issues, Dr. Romie Mushtaq delivers a powerful message about the capabilities of introspective healing. Bolstered by the launch of her book, “The Busy Brain Cure,” she offers a comprehensive plan to mitigate the, busy brain, phenomenon—a strategy that promises not just immediate relief but a sustained journey towards a mindful and balanced life. With her professional insight and personal passion, Dr. Romie exemplifies the transformational impact of blending traditional wisdom with contemporary science, providing hope and practical solutions to those navigating the turbulent realities of our time.
In this 5 min segment with coach Myrna, she explores how women can become, the Type Of Woman A Man Falls In Love With. She discusses the qualities that make a woman irresistible to men and how women can, become the type of woman any man wants to marry.
Drawing inspiration from a conversation between Jesus and a, Samaritan woman, coach Myrna emphasizes the importance of intelligence, confidence, independence, communication, kindness, self-improvement, positivity, and a sense of humor in attracting a partner and building a meaningful relationship. By focusing on self-improvement and fostering genuine connections, women can create a solid foundation for love and marriage.
In John chapter 4 Jesus has a great conversation with a, Samaritan woman. Because Jesus is Omniscience, which means all-knowing, he is aware of the past, present, and future. He told her she had 5 husbands and living with a man who she is not married to.
Society judges’ women who have a lot of husbands. It carries an element of shame to it. So today I want to flip that around and look at, why a man wants to marry a woman.
First and foremost, what men want. Men are looking for, intelligent women. A woman who can talk on all topics and can have a stimulating conversation.
The Samaritan woman was such a woman. Jesus knew who she was before he sought her out to talk to her and on cue, she started the conversation by asking “So tell me, why is it that you Jews insist that Jerusalem is the only place of worship?”
After that she started taking about the Messiah. Jesus said I am the Messiah.
So, ladies the message today is, Are you, the type of woman a man falls in love with?
Here are some ways that you can prepare to shine when you are in the spotlight, when you too can tell your friends “I met a man”
So what type of woman is an alpha male attracted to? In the intricate dance of love and relationships, there's no magic formula to make someone fall in love with you. However, there are certain qualities and behaviors that can enhance your attractiveness and create a solid foundation for a meaningful connection. Today, we will explore how you can become a woman any man wants to marry, the type of woman a man falls in love with, by focusing on self-improvement and fostering a genuine connection.
Cultivate Confidence: Embrace Your Inner Strengths
To become, the type of woman a man falls in love with, you must have self-confidence. Confidence is magnetic. Embrace your strengths, be comfortable with your flaws, by becoming flawesome and radiate self-assurance. “Confidence not only makes you attractive, but it also creates an environment where others feel comfortable and inspired around you.” When you exude confidence, you become a beacon of positivity and allure and, the type of woman a man falls in love with.
The type of woman a man falls in love with is Independent Woman
While partnership is essential in a marriage, maintaining individuality is equally crucial. As the transcript states, “A woman with a strong sense of self is not only attractive but also brings added depth to a relationship.” By pursuing your passions, having your own goals, and demonstrating a sense of independence, you become a well-rounded and captivating partner.
Prioritize Communication: The Key to Connection
Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. As the transcript suggests, “Being able to communicate honestly and respectfully fosters understanding and strengthens the emotional bond between you and your partner.” By learning to express your thoughts and feelings openly and actively listening, you create a safe space for vulnerability and intimacy to flourish.
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What men want: an Empathatic Woman
Kindness goes a long way in building lasting connections. Show empathy, be considerate, and prioritize compassion in your interactions. “A woman who exudes kindness not only attracts a partner but also contributes to the overall well-being of the relationship.” By nurturing kindness and compassion, you create a nurturing and loving environment that fosters a deep emotional connection.
Invest in Self-Improvement: The Journey of Personal Growth
Continuously strive to grow and better yourself. “Investing in yourself not only makes you more interesting but also demonstrates a commitment to personal growth that can be inspiring to others and make you attractive to men.” That is also the type of woman a player falls in love with. Whether it's through education, personal development, or acquiring new skills, investing in yourself showcases your dedication to self-improvement and adds depth to your character.
The Power of Optimism: The type of woman a man falls in love with.
Maintain a positive attitude and approach challenges with optimism. As the transcript states, “Positivity is infectious and can create a harmonious atmosphere in your relationship.” By embracing a positive outlook, you become a source of inspiration and support for your partner. A woman who can navigate life's ups and downs with grace is someone many men would aspire to have by their side and is, the type of woman a man falls in love with.
Cultivate a Sense of Humor: The Joy of Laughter
Laughter is a powerful bonding tool. Cultivate a sense of humor, find joy in the little things, and share lighthearted moments with your partner. As the transcript suggests, “A woman who can bring joy and laughter into a relationship is sure to be cherished.” By embracing humor, you create a joyful and light-hearted atmosphere that strengthens the emotional connection between you and your partner.
Becoming the Woman Any Man Wants to Marry
Becoming a woman any man wants to marry, involves a combination of self-discovery, personal growth, and fostering positive qualities. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to love, by embracing your authenticity and cultivating these traits, you can create a foundation for a fulfilling and lasting relationship. Remember, the journey to becoming irresistible is not about changing who you are, but rather about embracing your unique qualities and continuously striving to be the best version of yourself.
As you embark on this journey, keep in mind the words of Jesus in his conversation with the Samaritan woman. He saw her for who she truly was, and she engaged him in a stimulating conversation. By embodying intelligence, confidence, independence, effective communication, kindness, self-improvement, positivity, and a sense of humor, you can become the woman any man wants to marry.
So, ladies, prepare to shine when you are in the spotlight, and one day, you too can proudly tell your friends, “I met a man.” The power to unlock the qualities that make you irresistible lies within you. Embrace it, nurture it, and watch as love and happiness find their way into your life.
Conclusion and Future Outlook: A Journey of Continuous Growth
The journey to, becoming a woman any man wants to marry, is not a destination but a continuous process of, personal growth and self-improvement. As you navigate the complexities of love and relationships, remember to stay true to yourself, embrace your uniqueness, and never stop learning and evolving. By embodying the qualities discussed in this guide, you will not only attract the right partner but also create a strong foundation for a lifelong connection filled with love, understanding, and mutual respect.
Unlock the qualities that make you irresistible, and embrace the journey of becoming the woman any man wants to marry. Your future awaits, filled with endless possibilities for love and happiness.
Dr. Victoria Veytsman, a celebrity cosmetic dentist, joins the podcast to discuss cosmetic dentistry, and, smile makeovers. She explains that a, smile makeover, can transform a person's confidence and eliminate insecurities. Dr. Veytsman offers a range of, cosmetic dentistry services, including, smile makeovers, veneers, teeth whitening, and dento-facial aesthetics. She emphasizes the importance of, dental health, for overall well-being and highlights the link between, oral health, and, systemic health. Dr. Veytsman believes that transforming your smile can be the starting point for a 360-degree life transformation.
Welcome back to the Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life radio podcast and television show. I'm your host, Life Coach Myrna Young, and today we have a special guest in the studio, Dr. Victoria Veytsman, a celebrity cosmetic dentist known as Dr. V. We will be discussing the power of a smile and how it can transform lives. Dr. V is an expert in, cosmetic dentistry, and has worked with prominent organizations such as Miss America, Miss Universe 2023, and the New York Giants cheerleaders, as well as celebrities and media personalities. She believes that a beautiful smile can boost confidence and change lives. So let's dive into the, power of a smile, and how Dr. V can help you achieve the smile of your dreams.
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The Power of a Smile: A Cosmetic Dentistry Journey
Dr. V begins by emphasizing the transformative power of, cosmetic dentistry. She explains that her practice focuses exclusively on, cosmetic dentistry, which involves beautifying and restoring smiles to their full potential. Through, smile makeovers, Dr. V helps her patients achieve health, beauty, harmony, and symmetry in their smiles. The result is a newfound sense of confidence and the elimination of long-standing insecurities. Dr. V believes that transforming your smile can have a profound impact on your mindset and overall well-being.
Understanding Smile Makeovers: From Discolored Teeth to Veneers
A, smile makeover, can encompass a range of treatments, depending on the patient's needs. Dr. V explains that, smile makeovers, can involve simple procedures such as, teeth whitening, or bonding, as well as more extensive treatments like veneers or full mouth reconstructions. Veneers, in particular, are thin shells of porcelain that are placed on top of the teeth to mask discoloration, change the shape, and create a more harmonious smile. Dr. V emphasizes that each treatment plan is tailored to the individual patient, ensuring a personalized and natural-looking result.
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Addressing Crowded Teeth: Invisalign and Orthodontic Specialists
Crowded teeth are a common concern for many individuals seeking a, smile makeover. Dr. V explains that minor crowding or spacing issues can often be addressed with clear aligners, such as Invisalign. However, more severe cases of crowding may require the expertise of an orthodontic specialist. Dr. V believes in collaborating with specialists to ensure the best possible outcome for her patients. By working together, they can address both, cosmetic dentistry, and functional aspects of the smile, providing comprehensive care.
The Link Between Dental Health and Overall Well-being
Dr. V emphasizes the importance of, dental health, in relation to overall well-being. She explains that oral health issues can often be an indicator of underlying systemic health problems. Conversely, maintaining good oral health can contribute to better cardiovascular and brain health. Dr. V believes that taking care of your, oral health, is an essential part of self-care and can have a significant impact on your overall health and confidence.
The Intersection of Cosmetic Dentistry and Anti-Aging
Dr. V also specializes in anti-aging dentistry, a term that refers to restoring the smile to its natural function and appearance. She explains that the mouth is one of the first areas to show signs of aging, with discoloration, chipping, and missing teeth being common concerns. By addressing these issues, Dr. V can help her patients look and feel younger. Anti-aging dentistry, can take years off a person's appearance and contribute to a more youthful and vibrant smile.
The Art of Dento-Facial Aesthetics: Designing Smiles to Match Personalities
Dento-facial aesthetics, is a philosophy that Dr. V follows in her practice. It involves looking at the entire face when designing smiles, taking into account factors such as eye shape, nose shape, lip shape, skin tone, and even personality. Dr. V believes that smiles have personalities too, and she tailors each smile makeover to reflect the individual's unique characteristics. Whether someone is introverted or extroverted, Dr. V can design a smile that aligns with their personality and enhances their overall beauty.
The Ripple Effect: How a Smile Makeover Can Transform Lives
Dr. V has witnessed firsthand the transformative power of a, smile makeover. She has seen patients who have struggled with insecurities for years or even their entire lives gain newfound confidence and take bold steps in their personal and professional lives. A beautiful smile can be the catalyst for positive change, inspiring individuals to reach their full potential. Dr. V believes that a smile makeover is not just about the physical transformation but also about the internal growth and self-actualization that comes with it.
Conclusion: Embracing the Power of a Smile
In conclusion, the power of a smile, cannot be underestimated. Dr. Victoria Veytsman, a celebrity cosmetic dentist, has dedicated her practice to transforming lives through, smile makeovers and, cosmetic dentistry. She believes that a beautiful smile can boost confidence, eliminate insecurities, and inspire individuals to reach their full potential. By addressing both the cosmetic and functional aspects of the smile, Dr. V creates personalized treatment plans that enhance the overall beauty and harmony of the face. Whether you're seeking a minor enhancement or a complete smile transformation, cosmetic dentistry near me, can help you achieve the smile of your dreams. Embrace, the power of a smile, and unlock the door to a brighter, more confident future.
Future Outlook: The Continued Impact of Cosmetic Dentistry
As, cosmetic dentistry, continues to evolve, the possibilities for, smile makeovers, are endless. Advancements in technology and materials allow for more natural-looking results, while the focus on holistic treatment approaches ensures that the entire face is taken into consideration. The intersection of, cosmetic dentistry, and, anti-aging dentistry, will likely become even more prominent as individuals seek to maintain a youthful appearance. With the power to transform lives and boost confidence, cosmetic dentistry, will undoubtedly play a significant role in the future of self-care and personal transformation.
David Nurse, an NBA Mindset coach and bestselling author, joins host Myrna Young to discuss the importance of a, growth mindset, to, unlock your full potential. We explore eight, archetypes of fear, that hinder action: including the burned, the blamer, and the perfectionist. David shares insights from his book “Do It: The Life-Changing Power of Taking Action” and offers practical tools for overcoming these, archetypes of fear. He emphasizes the need to embrace imperfection and take consistent action to achieve success.
Myrna: The common thread in all your books is mindset. Why do you think a, growth mindset, is so important to our success?
David: Having a, growth mindset, is so important because really, when you break down life, it is simple. Life starts off simple. When you're a kid, you're just playing. You don't have worries, stresses, anxieties.
But as you get older, get into a job, into relationships, everything becomes so complicated. But if you peel back the layers of the onion of life, it actually is very simple. And it just comes down to perspective, how you view each situation. You can't take it all in once. It's just step by step. It's like taking a step forward with a flood lamp where you can only see a little bit in front of you. You can't see the whole picture.
Having a, growth mindset, is a crucial factor in determining our success. It shapes our perspective and how we approach challenges and opportunities.
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How athletes unlock their full potential with mindset growth
Myrna: So as a mindset coach for athletes, before we go into, growth mindset , off the court, let talk about, growth mindset, on the court. Because we can transition everything in life, whether it's having a, growth mindset, on the court, or having a, growth mindset, in the boardroom. So let's stick with the sports analogy for a while because I never played professional sports. But let's say I'm thinking of a mindset like Michael Jordan. I know, when he got into the league, he was benched.
Nobody thought he was good, or even Tom Brady, he was a scrawny kid. And actually, now that I started to talk, I'm thinking of all these guys. And I just finished watching the Netflix documentary on Stephen Curry biography. And of course, that's a perfect one to look at. This scrawny little kid, and everybody is counting him out because he's tiny, he's small, and then he starts playing. And what he said to himself is, I'm just good at these guys. I just need to grow a little more.
So tell us about how that kind of, growth mindset, helps you go from everybody is counting you out to being the top of your game?
How Stephen Curry unlocked his full potential and changed the game
David: Yeah, absolutely. And it's so interesting to see these top athletes to ever play their sports. A lot of them were counted out or they were underestimated. And it's actually one of the archetypes in Do It: The Life Changing Power of Taking Action that I talk about, because we are either people who says, Why me? Others say, Why not me? Why can't I be the best at what I'm doing? Why don't I deserve a great life? That's the difference between a, growth mindset vs a fixed mindset.
So it's great that you brought up Curry, as I give this example in talks and I show this slide about when Steph Curry was coming out of college, his scouting report, and you could Google search this, you'll just start laughing. It said, undersized, not quick enough, probably will be a backup, he'll be lucky to even play in the NBA. And Curry goes on to transcend the way an entire sport is played, which didn't shoot as many threes until Steph Curry came to the game. He literally took a sport that been going on for years and changed the way it was played. That is, how to overcome self-doubt and unlock your full potential.
Myrna: So today we want to talk a bit about the enemy of inaction, which I think is so important. Your book Do It talks about the enemy of inaction. And you said that you've identified eight archetypes that are the enemy of inaction. These archetypes could also be called the, fear of failure. The first one is The Burned.
I'm assuming that you mean that someone burned me, so I'm not going to do anything. Which is the, enemy of progress. Another one is The Blamer, I know that one because even this morning, I was telling my son to stop going around blaming others, it's one of the worst things that you can do. And then there is The perfectionist. The people with, type A personality. I understand, The Blamer, and, The Perfectionist. Not so much about, The Burned. So talk to us about these eight, archetypes of fear, that are the enemies of inaction.
To overcome the enemy of inaction we must release fear
David: So the, enemy of inaction, is fear. Ultimately, it is, fear of uncertainty. It's fear of failure. We don't take action because we don't know what's on the other side of that action. If you were guaranteed results, you would do that. But it's uncertain. So there's actually eight, archetypes of fear, that I outlined, those are just the top three. I'll just go through the eight.
If you're struggling, if you're held back, if you're stuck, you can understand why and be able to break through that and take action. So the archetypes are the allodoxaphobia, which is just a cool way to say, fear of other people's opinions.
The following archetypes are the enemy of inaction. We need to recognize them to, unlock our full potential.
The Burned archetype refers to individuals who have been hurt or disappointed in the past and are afraid to take action again. They may have experienced failure or rejection, and this has created a, fear of failure. If you are going to, unlock your full potential, you need to start addressing this by separating the past from the present and adopting a reverse alter ego. By giving the past a silly name, we can distance ourselves from the negative experiences and move forward with a fresh perspective.
2. The Blamer archetype is characterized by individuals who constantly blame others for their current situation. We can never, unlock our full potential, if we refuse to take responsibility for our actions and believe that external factors are the cause of their lack of progress. I emphasize the importance of personal accountability and encourages individuals to take ownership of their choices and outcomes.
3. The Perfectionist archetype is driven by the need for everything to be perfect. Type A personalities, fall into to, the perfectionist archetype. These individuals set impossibly high standards for themselves and are often paralyzed by the, fear of failure. You can never, unlock your full potential, if you have a, fear of failure. I advise my clients to embrace the, 90% theory, which allows for imperfection and acknowledges that nothing will ever be perfect. By focusing on giving 90% effort and accepting that mistakes are part of the learning process, individuals can overcome the, perfectionist mindset, and take action.
The other archetypes of inaction
4. The Believer archetype, organize their lives around their belief systems. When asked why they believe in a certain way, many Believers will simply reply, “Because it’s true.” They have their own way of coming to conclusions and these ways often defy reason and/or are difficult to convey because they are based on a feeling.is kind of interesting. Check out, the Believer Archetype, on Myers Briggs .
5. The Inopportune archetype , which means you think you're either too old or too young. Timing is just not right. Tjis becomes the reason for inaction.
6. The introvert believes he is introverted, so he can't go out and talk to people. Introverted or extroverted has nothing to do with whether you talk to people or not? It's just how you recharge. Do you recharge by yourself or do you recharge with others?
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7. The scarcity archetype, where you have a, scarcity mindset. There's only one slice of the pie that you feel like you just have to hold on to all you got and you can't share anything with anybody else, because if you do, it's all going to be gone.
8. The distracted archetype, and I don't even mean by distracted of like our phones or the notifications or all these things that we have of being constantly on in this world that we live in. But even more the distraction of not knowing what your vision, your mission, your purpose is. And that's your, enemy of inaction. The enemy of, unlocking your potential.
Conclusion
In conclusion, unlocking our full potential, requires a shift in mindset. We must, overcome the enemy of inaction, which is often fueled by fear and negative thought patterns. By addressing the burned, blamer, and perfectionist archetypes, we can break free from these limiting beliefs and take action towards our goals. Remember, the mind is a powerful tool, and by harnessing its potential, we can transform our lives and achieve greatness.
Self-esteem is a fundamental aspect of our well-being. It shapes our perception of ourselves and influences how we navigate through life. When our self-esteem is healthy, we feel positive about ourselves and are better equipped to handle life's challenges. However, low self-esteem, can have a detrimental impact on our mental and emotional state, making it difficult to face adversity. In this article, we will explore eight, self-care tips, that can help, improve self-esteem, and enhance our sense of self-worth.
Self-esteem is the opinion we hold about ourselves. It is the lens through which we view ourselves and our lives. When we have, low self-esteem, we tend to have a negative and critical perspective, making it harder to tackle life's ups and downs. The causes of, low self-esteem, can be rooted in childhood experiences, societal expectations, stress, difficult life events, and personal tendencies towards negative thinking or setting unrealistic standards.
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1. Practice Self-Compassion and Positive Self-Talk
“Self-compassion is the foundation of self-esteem. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend.”
Self-compassion is a crucial aspect of, building healthy self-esteem. It involves treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, especially during times of mistakes or setbacks. Instead of being overly critical, we should practice, self-forgiveness, and offer ourselves the same support we would give to a friend. By adopting, positive self-talk, and reframing negative thoughts, we can cultivate a more compassionate and nurturing relationship with ourselves.
2. Set Realistic Goals
“Setting achievable goals, can boost your self-worth by giving you a sense of accomplishment.”
Setting realistic goals, is essential for, building self-worth. When we set achievable goals, we create opportunities for success and a sense of accomplishment. Starting with small, manageable goals and gradually working our way up allows us to celebrate our achievements, no matter how minor they may seem. On the other hand, setting unrealistic goals, can lead to feelings of failure and further, lower our self esteem.
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“Pay attention to these self-destructive thoughts because they are creating your reality. Replace self-criticism with, positive affirmations, or scriptures.”
Our thoughts have a significant impact on our self-esteem. Sponsoring thoughts, such as “I am not good enough” or “He won't like me because I am too fat,” can shape our reality and perpetuate negative self-perception. It is crucial to become aware of these thoughts and challenge them. By replacing self-criticism with, positive affirmations, or scriptures, we can reframe our mindset and cultivate a more positive and self-affirming outlook.
4. Engage in Self-Care Activities
“Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is vital for self-esteem. Engage in activities that make you feel good, whether it's exercising, meditating, reading, or practicing a hobby.”
Self-care is an essential component of, improving self-esteem. Engaging in activities that promote physical and mental well-being can have a profound impact on our self-perception. Whether it's exercising, meditating, reading, or pursuing a hobby, these activities nourish our body and soul, fostering a sense of self-worth and fulfillment.
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“Positive relationships can significantly impact your self-esteem. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Distance yourself from those who bring negativity into your life.”
The people we surround ourselves with can greatly influence our self-esteem. Positive relationships provide a supportive environment where we feel valued and uplifted. It is important to surround ourselves with individuals who believe in us and encourage our growth. Conversely, distancing ourselves from those who bring negativity into our lives can protect our self-esteem and create space for positive influences.
“Mistakes are an inevitable part of life. Instead of dwelling on them, view them as opportunities for growth. Embrace your mistakes as valuable lessons that can help you improve.” –
Mistakes are not a reflection of our worth but rather opportunities for growth. Instead of dwelling on our failures, we should embrace them as valuable lessons that contribute to our personal development. By reframing our perspective and focusing on the lessons learned, we can cultivate a growth mindset and boost our self-esteem.
“Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can help, improve your self-esteem. Keep a gratitude journal and regularly write down things you're thankful for. This can shift your perspective and boost your self-worth.”
Practicing gratitude is a powerful tool for, improving self-esteem. By focusing on the positive aspects of our lives and regularly expressing gratitude, we shift our perspective towards a more optimistic outlook. Keeping a, gratitude journal, and writing down things we are thankful for can reinforce positive thinking patterns and enhance our sense of self-worth.
“If low self-esteem is affecting your daily life significantly, don't hesitate to seek professional support. Therapists, counselors, and even coaches can provide guidance and strategies to help you improve your self-esteem.”
Sometimes, low self-esteem, can significantly impact our daily lives, making it necessary to seek professional help. Therapists, counselors, and coaches are trained to provide guidance and strategies tailored to our specific needs. Seeking professional support can be instrumental in overcoming deep-rooted self-esteem issues and embarking on a journey of self-improvement.
Conclusion and Future Outlook
Building and maintaining healthy self-esteem is an ongoing journey that requires self-care and self-compassion. By practicing self-compassion, setting realistic goals, challenging negative thoughts, engaging in self-care activities, surrounding ourselves with supportive people, learning from mistakes, practicing gratitude, and seeking professional help when needed, we can enhance our self-esteem and live a more fulfilling life.
The implications of improving self-esteem are far-reaching. It can positively impact our mental and emotional well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life. By prioritizing self-care and implementing these self-esteem-boosting strategies, we empower ourselves to navigate life's challenges with confidence and resilience.
As we continue on our journey of self-improvement, it is important to remember that building healthy self-esteem takes time. Patience and self-compassion are key as we navigate the ups and downs of this process. By embracing these self-care tips and committing to our personal growth, we can cultivate a strong sense of self-worth and embark on a future filled with self-confidence and fulfillment.
Kristina Mand-Lakhiani, co founder of Mindvalley, shares how to become flawesome with radical self acceptance. If you’ve ever felt burdened by perfectionism, pressured to be someone you’re not, and driven to live up to other people’s expectations even if it means concealing your true self, then this podcast episode is for you.
In this episode, Kristina talks about the concepts of perfectionism, flawesome, and self-acceptance. She shares with you her journey of self-discovery and how these concepts have helped her to become flawesome!
Myrna: You are the co-founder of MindValley with Vishen Lakiani. I love Vishen Lakiani I think that you guys do good work and I know the story because I've gone to several of his webinars and read his books. I know the story of how he came about to start MindValley and his journey. So let's talk about you today, why did you begin this personal development company? What motivated and inspired you?
Kristina: I mean you know whether it's the same as Vishen's or not but what is what is the story behind Mindvalley? That question will require a little bit of a background, so the founder of Mindvalley is Vishen Lakiani and by the family name Lakiani you might guess we are related. We used to be married for 16 years, so when Vishen was starting MindValley it was back in 2003.
I had moved to New York, we got married in 2003. I had moved to New York from Europe and I was looking for a job and Vishen had a job and he had a side hustle which became MindValley. I usually say that I ended up in, personal growth, reluctantly and by accident and that's absolutely true. I had nothing better to do but to help Vishen with his side business because he had a full-time job and we depended on his income as a family.
We depended on it so I thought it was the right thing to do, but at that time I would also say, I thought I ended up in, personal growth, reluctantly and obstinately because I was still planning to make my own career somewhere else. I started in the government working in a very different field from, personal growth, so it took years before I accepted my fate.
MindValley is now a top personal growth company
Myrna: I know Vishen's story that his business that he had. I think it was doing websites. You said it was like a, side hustle, that's amazing that the company for anybody that doesn't know about MindValley it's like a top 10 company in, personal growth, in the world.
Kristina: We have grown yes and we have changed since the beginning since 2003 so definitely it's been quite a journey and yeah we do consider ourselves one of the biggest education companies in personal growth and transformation.
Myrna: All right so then you started in your personal journey and according to your personal growth journey I should say and according to your bio you got to work with some of the greats. I'm in the space you know so I know all these different people I love Michael Beckwick. I love his work. I love Bob Proctor and I don't do a lot with Lisa Nichols because she basically teaches you how to be a professional speaker, but I know that you know she has done very well for herself.
So what is one of the greatest lessons you've learned from Michael Beckwith let's just pick one or if you want to use one of the other ones that's in your bio you know it's so hard to be picking uh like one of the greatest lessons from any of the people.
Lesson of self acceptance from Michael Beckwith
Kristina: I probably learned from Michael Beckwith the lesson that I have learned would be a little bit reversed from what you would expect. I'll give you a situation of course I've heard him speak and I've heard his teachings, but the lesson came in a different shape and form. So I started working in, personal growth, and transformation as an entrepreneur and a marketer initially so I got to know all these people as their partner in the sense because we were helping them to get their word out to to other people.
So I wasn't ever their colleague in the sense that I wasn't one of the authors. It happened much later at some point I re-invented myself and my life and it would be a completely different story, but some five six years ago I started going into becoming an author because I was ready. I had embraced, personal growth, and transformation and it was it was quite a few years ago.
I remember I was going on MindValley Stage and we have a very impressive stage and we had a huge audience probably one of my biggest at that time and I was following Michael Beckwith and a few other people and I remember being completely terrified because I felt, who am I to go on stage after all those people? I do actually mention Michael Beckwith in that story because he is such an energetic and such a strong speaker that when you listen to him you're hooked. you're just there and I have a very different style, so I remember going on stage and having this huge impostor syndrome thinking how can I compare.
From impostor syndrome to self acceptance
I can never be as good as Michael Beckwith speaking. I can never be as good as another speaker who was there who had built a massive company. I could never be as good as another speaker there who had written a bestselling book and was super famous. I was comparing myself faster and faster to all those great people and feeling smaller and smaller and smaller until I remembered the words of a friend of mine who said we are so hooked on the idea that we have this one talent that we are forgetting that we are multi-talented.
That actually helped me to suddenly realize that it is not in this one thing where I have to be the best in the world, but in the unique combination of things that make me who I am. That's where probably the biggest value that I have for the world. Michael Beckwith was one person who taught me, self acceptance. There are people who are so much better, so much more accomplished than me in every single area, if I take them separately, but what gives me value is the combination of my works, of my unique features of the things that maybe I am ashamed of. That combination is what gives me my unique value and what gives me the right to be on stage with all those wonderful people.
Lisa Nichols helped me become Flawesome
Myrna: Lisa Nichols is a powerful speaker. I saw her quite recently, she's awesome, but what I just love what you just said is that we all have this inferiority complex because you know we think that someone is is better than us but I love what he says that our combination is what makes us unique.
Kristina: We often think that our lessons come in very clear messages and of course Michael doesn't teach that. He teaches, self acceptance, that is what I learned from that interaction and that's interesting. You know Lisa Nichols for example, she's wonderful in so many ways and she actually has taught me public speaking one-on-one including, self acceptance, of my accent and flaws.
She's such a wonderful human being but the one thing I learned from her is one this is one saying that she occasionally says in some of her speeches.
The world has no need for your perfection
Conscious uncoupling after divorce
Myrna: So let's talk about you, back to you now and some of the things that you bring to the table. One of the things you talk about is, hacking happiness, after, conscious uncoupling. You were married to Vishen for 16 years that's a long time, in fact that's how long I've been married to my current husband 16 years. you're talking about, conscious uncoupling, hacking happiness.
Kristina: Well, conscious uncoupling, is actually a term coined by another of Mindvalley authors Catherine Woodward Thomas
For me and Vishen it was just a journey we chose to take when we decided to separate. Vishen had known Catherine by then and he had known about this concept so we did follow her teachings to a degree, but I think any kind of relationship is a product of these two people. So you can learn from other person how to be a good parent, how to have a happy marriage.
I think that every couple that uncouples consciously and couples according to Catherine Woodward Thomas has their own story and the other examples that I've seen. I don't normally talk about relationships because it's not my forte. I do talk about, hacking happiness, although not connected to uncoupling per se.
Hacking happiness: conscious uncoupling
I talk about, hacking happiness, as a choice, as a trainable skill as maybe a habit which is very contrary to a lot of ideas. I like to talk about happiness especially to very skeptical people because they always make you see things in a new light in a way. I do talk about happiness, but not in relation to uncoupling because I think in that aspect I'm still in the process. I mean we uncoupled four years ago and you might say that it's long enough time, but we are in each other's life's a lot we grow children together.
We still have business together, we are friends, we do a lot of things together, so I think as long as we have each other in each other's life it will be a constantly evolving relationship.
Myrna: Well at least you parted amicably. What I know about relationships is it's very hard to, consciously uncouple, because it's either you did something that hurt me and I don't want anything to do with you. It's very hard to say we are better separate than we are together and we're gonna, consciously uncouple, and put our kids first. That term , consciously uncoupling, has become popular because you know the word that I heard before was, co-parenting.
Kristina: I would strongly recommend studying Catherine Thomas because she has the experience, she's a psychotherapist who has been working with couples focusing on relationships. We do need to re-imagine the end of relationships. We have such a rigid approach to that relationship is only a success if it lasts, but that's not the case. We have all witnessed relationships that maybe lasts a really long time but it's dead inside.
Catherine suggests and I really love this idea is why don't we judge the successful relationship not by the length of a relationship but by the extent that both people have maybe evolved or created things together.
Hacking Happiness: The Art of becoming Flawesome
Myrna: you also talk about how can we live by our own rules and walk in our fruit and um you know that's basically our topic today, hacking happiness, and the Art of becoming flawsome. Tell us what that word means because I'm putting my own interpretation to it.
Kristina: I'm very reluctant to give definition of the word flawesome even in my book. My editor insisted that I have to add it. My book well it's called Becoming flawesome. It is a book about, self acceptance, and finding your way back to you. Our flaws is just this necessary condition because when you find your way back to you, you will discover that probably you're not that picture of perfection that you have been drawing in your head and aspiring for.
Become flawesome by accepting your flaws and practicing, self acceptance. Becoming flawesome is a personal experience and you are absolutely right it's about embracing your flaws and being okay with them. It's embracing your flaws, it's learning to not just accept, but love yourself with your flaws, and maybe not even with the flaws, but because of them. Because every single facet of you makes you unique.
Even those things that you maybe are feeling ashamed about or don't want to show to the world they are a part of you that makes you uniquely you and if you have the courage to go further and deeper, it is about about finding strengths in the things that you might have considered your flaws choosing them to become your blessing rather than your curse.
Conclusion: Your self acceptance journey
Yes as you were talking you know a lot of women including me.
Myrna: Let's talk about your book, how did you come up with that title and what is it that you want the um readers to walk away?
Kristina: I hope that this book is going to be a companion on the journey back to you for every single reader. However many readers I'm going to get, that's how many destinations this book will have. I don't teach people, I don't believe in teaching, I believe transformation happens when people are ready and who am I to teach anyone, but I am a companion, I have been through this journey. I ask a lot of questions. I hold the hand, so I do believe and hope that this book is everybody's individual unique journey back to, self acceptance.
Myrna; How can our audience get a copy of your book and connect with you on social media. Let us know your website and your Instagram or your social media handles.
Kristina: My name is a little complicated, but the rest is easy so my name is Kristina Mand-Lakiani my website is www.kristinamand.com and then the book is slash book so it's super easy. My handle for all all the social media Instagram Facebook is the same https://www.instagram.com/kristinamand/
We attain, life mastery, by our daily habits. The habits we need to be cultivating daily has to include something physical, something spiritual, and personal development to build your brain.
In this episode, Sherry Fernandez, NYT Bestselling author talks about, Life mastery, how to develop the habits needed for success.
Sherry Fernandez is the author of the New York Times, bestselling book ‘Life Mastery: Personal Progression Toward an Infinite Potential’. The book has sold tens of thousands of copies globally and has been featured on several leading media outlets. She has been a student of personal development for 40+ years. What makes her program unique is that she practiced and refined the life mastery principles taught for decades, before deciding to share them with others.
Sherry helps people who are already living well and looking for ways to reach new heights in their personal growth, personal finances, or personal health, to see what’s possible. She helps her clients improve in their close relationships, careers, spiritual growth or starting new businesses.
Myrna: What are some habits that propel us to, life mastery?
Sherry: When I work with people, it goes beyond the big vision of what we want, for example, like who we want to marry. I knew what I wanted. I never wanted to ever get married and have children, but then I had one and then I decided to keep that child. My parents did not give me my drive. They had nine marriages between them. So, I wanted something different. So I thought if I am going to do this, I'm gonna do the very best marriage possible. I don't think it's gonna be very fun. I thought it was gonna be horrible, but I loved the guy.
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Daily habits to master your marriage
So, I read every book I could find on, marriages. I had a vision of what I wanted my marriage to look like and so I started working on it. I did the things that was the books said I should do and I even exceeded my vision of what a marriage should be. And we've been married for 45 years and still having the best sex. And so, all these things exceeded my vision. I put the principles to work early on and went to work on, life mastery. It was a slow growth right but I just kept at it and kept at it until I developed the habits for, life mastery. I was able to exceed my dreams. And I think that's how it works. You have this big dream or big goal and then you work on it, turns out even better than you thought it was going to be.
When we're moving forward, we're happy and you can prove that in a day. Do something move to move forward a little bit, some little thing and see how it makes you feel. I've had people come to me and say I didn't have time to work out. And I would say. Commit to me to do something tomorrow. And then Tell me how it went and all they'll do what they always do. They do this yeah, I feel happier. It's one step. It's amazing day just one step forward and People are happier. You don't have to get there because you never get there anyway. It's just taking the steps forward that make you happy. And then they compound.
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Steps to building life mastery
Myrna: What are some of the steps that can get us to, life mastery?
Sherry: What you do every day is what's gonna make you successful your, daily habits. So, when I have a client come in, I don't ask them what they want to work on. We work on their goals but not the very first week.
First off, they need something physical,
We need to work on something spiritual. If they're religious people, they know that there's something there in their religion they need to be doing or maybe they need to pick up something spiritual. Practice meditation is something spiritual.
You need something for your brain. You need to be educating yourself and learning and growing all the time. Preferably something in your field and some things that are outside your field every day.
So those 3 habits will get a lot of people started on, life mastery. There's gonna be some habits that must be forever disrupted the same way. But education must be an ongoing forever habit. Physical Fitness has to be an ongoing, every day, forever habit. spiritual practices must be every day and you can't miss. You can’t say I will pray tomorrow; today’s prayer is for today. Tomorrow’s prayer is for tomorrow.
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Daily habits build life mastery
You must work out every day. You cannot say, I will work out 5 mins today and 60 mins tomorrow to make up for today. I learned this the hard way. I had 6 kids, that means all the ballgames and all the dance lessons and all the laundry and all that stuff. And sometimes I think I'm too busy to do my personal self-care like physical fitness. But I had to do it no exception. If I didn’t spend any time on self-care, I felt less happy at the end of the day.
We're happy when we take care of our health, take care of ourselves and do personal development, then go out in the world and make a difference. If I didn't get the laundry done. I could live with that. I can do that tomorrow. But If I didn’t do my personal development practices, I couldn’t live with that. And you don't save time by skipping it.
Myrna: Yeah, so you know your, life mastery habits, are foundational. So, let's touch on, personal finances. You saying that if you want to make lots of money, it's a good driver for, Life Mastery. And I think, what you basically saying is that, goals, are a driver of, personal finances. If you have a goal of doing something then you will achieve it. So how do you teach your clients to want lots of money and then go ahead and make it happen?
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Seven steps to making lots of money
Sherry: There's are seven areas they need to work on to make lots of money:
Spirituality,
Relationships,
fitness,
education,
money,
vocation,
character
And so, money it's only one piece of a piece pie, but it is important. So, they set their own goals. I work with a lot of entrepreneurs. So, we do a lot of entrepreneurial kinds of goals, for example doing more good in the world.
Jim Rohn said make a million dollars for what it can do for others.
Make a lot of money, you are gonna touch a ton of lives, you're gonna get to spread that money around. You can do so much good both with the money and with the resources. Elon Musk went to the moon with his money. He wants to build a transportation system into space. That is doing good with your money.
Learn, apply, live, learn how to support yourself, then learn how to been able to support some other people like your family. And then when your finances good, and you've learned a whole bunch of stuff. Then you can go find another way. You can choose how you serve. I can choose how I serve because I have the financial resources to serve any how I want.
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Life mastery habit: track your daily habits
Myrna: Tell us about your, life mastery, classes and how we can get in touch with you.
Sherry: I'm a big believer in simple systems. So, I believe the simple steps that I teach, the first one is you got to track your, daily habits. You got to just track your daily habits, daily.
Peter Drucker said “What gets measured gets managed”
Your, daily tracker, will track your daily habits and that's how you develop, life mastery habits. So, on my website there is a daily tracking chart you can download for free. It just lists the, daily habits, you want to do down the left hand column. It's like a calendar the days of the month across the top and you just you write down your activity like, meditation, workout, eat clean, floss my teeth, 20 minutes of devotion etc. These are the, daily habits, you want to track.
You have got to set the parameters. You must say what is the workout? Thinking very clear, what constitutes a workout? Is it 5 mins or 45 mins? Because if you don’t and you work out for 5 mins when you should be working out for 45 mins, workout doesn’t get crossed off the list on your, daily tracker. If your daily step count is 14,000 steps and you do 13,900, it doesn’t count. Then you didn't get it done.
Book: Life Mastery
Affirmations build life mastery
The, daily tracker, also works for, affirmations. One of my affirmations is that I have I laugh easily and often. So, what that means is so about eight to 10 of those every day on things that don't really matter so they can be they can reinforce another habit. Another affirmation could be, I get up early. You put it on the tracking sheet. I have an affirmation about being aware of my thoughts and working on mindfulness.
I have about five to about 13 affirmations. But I would suggest people you can go ahead and do about 10 affirmations for, life mastery.
Sherry: My website is www.LifeMasteryinfo.com. Life Mastery was taken. You can email me any time about anything and I will respond. My email is sherry@lifeMastereryinfo.com. My mission now because I made enough money so I can get what I want is to make a difference.
For peak performance, I teach all of my clients a bunch of tools. I always teach them, meditation, I always teach them, breath work, I teach them that they should stretch and strengthen. So that means doing something like, yoga, Qi Gong, and then weight training or something that's actually going to improve their muscles. In addition to these tools, I teach them a morning routine and the evening routine.
Kerry is peak performance coach. Kerry was raising a family and working as an attorney when she began a daily yoga practice. She immediately noticed that yoga was the perfect antidote to her hectic lifestyle. Initially interested in yoga as a physical practice that made her feel good in her body, Kerry soon realized yoga was a lot more than that. She decided to take a teacher training and immediately began teaching. Kerry eventually left her law career and began to focus on teaching and coaching full time.
Kerry’s mission is to help others find a more balanced and fulfilled life. She believes in action and has created a system that is easy to implement so that people can create change quickly. She coaches corporate clients and elite athletes in mindset and peak performance techniques and creates tailored programs for private clients who are seeking mastery in all areas of their lives.
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Kerry: Absolutely. And by the way, that's one of my favorite books, The Monk Who Sold his Ferrari. I read that book so many years ago and that was one of the books that changed my life. Even before I went into this wellness space, that's such a great book. And it really shows you that at any point in your life, you really can change and move into a different space if you want.
So, for me, I felt like my life was going great. I had a good career. I had my children; I had a nice house. Everything was great, but didn't feel great to be honest with you. And I had this experience where we were on a vacation hiking in the woods, and we came to this clearing in the woods. It's like trees in a circle, pine needles on the ground and the sun was just coming in to the center of the circle. So, I walked into the center of the circle in the sun and when the hit me, I had this crazy moment.
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There are also routines in the app to help with planning and organizing.
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All my dreams came through but I wasn't fulfilled
I flashbacked to the Kerry I was when I was 20 and back then I used to spend a lot of time in nature. The flashback I had was it me sitting with my journal it in all my hopes and dreams. When I was a 20 year old young woman, I wanted to have a career, I wanted to have a beautiful family, I wanted to have a husband that loved me and supported what I wanted to do and I could support him. I wanted a beautiful house; I wanted to travel and adventure. I realized that I had achieved all my dreams. But what happened in the next instant was I realized that even though I had everything I wanted, I really wasn't happy and I didn't feel fulfilled.
Myrna: And why was that?
Kerry: Because I think it was on autopilot, right? And I started to think like where did those dreams come from? And I started to understand that a lot of those dreams came from outside of me. My society, my parents, my teachers. I'm a people pleaser. I want to please people; I want to be impressive. So, I went back to my hotel room and I wrote another whole list of all my hopes and dreams and they were things like, start teaching. I had always studied, personal growth.
So, the book you mentioned, I had read that probably when I was 20 or 25 right around that same time. And I had been studying, personal transformation, philosophy for many, many years. So, I was like, you know I'd really like to teach people some of the things I learned. I'd like to be an author, and I'd like to be a speaker and I was writing all these things down. So that's all well and good. I get home from the vacation, lose the piece of paper or maybe it was my journal that I wrote it in, and I forgot all about it.
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Then one day my alarm rang. I hit the snooze button, but instead of going back to sleep, which I usually did, and Myrna I would usually do that like a few times back-to-back, so I usually started my day racing around being a lunatic trying to get everything done on time. Get the kids out the door, get myself out the door. But on this day, instead of going back to sleep, I just sat up in my bed and I meditated for 5 mins. I was just observing the thoughts.
That night I was in my bed with my husband and I said, you know, I had such a great day. And he's like, did you do anything different today? I told him what I had done and had gotten up and meditated for five minutes. And he said, Oh, that's so cool. I'm gonna try it tomorrow. So, we tried it the next day. And sure enough, at the end of the day, he was like, that was amazing. I had such a great day. So, we both started doing a, morning routine and, eventually I started teaching this, morning routine meditation, to my students.
The first thing I noticed when I started teaching, yoga, was that yoga, is a lifestyle and it really encompasses everything.
The way you live in this world,
The way you're thinking,
The way you're eating
The way you function in general,
The way you treat other people,
The way you treat yourself.
The timeless principles of morning routine meditation.
So, I said I would love to teach, yoga, and, meditation, to lawyers, business people and doctors.’ People who wouldn't normally do it because honestly professional people, they are like, I don't know about, meditation, they get a little nervous when you start using any of the lingo. So, I started to study the mind. And what I realized was you take those Eastern practices like ,yoga, meditation, and, breath work, and then you marry them to the science, which is all about how the brain works. so, I didn't call it, meditation, but I just said this is a stress relief exercise.
I created this whole one hour, morning routine, and for me, I started to understand how important it was not only to create this, morning routine, but to tailor it to my lifestyle. So, for my husband, he started with half an hour, morning routine. I have an hour, but I always have as my base as my minimum five-minute, morning routine.
So, basically this whole, snooze button routine, that I came up with is for you to use as you need. In my book, the snooze button sessions, I show you 12 different things you can do for, morning meditation, breathwork, exercises yoga or stretching, and journaling. There are so many different things, but then you choose which one of those things or what combination of those things you use. So sometimes I'll break it up. Robin Sharma actually suggests not to do it the way I do it, which is you know, hitting the snooze every time and then moving to a new routine.
Achieve peak performance with a 20/20/20 morning routine
For peak performance during the day, start your day with a 20/20/20 morning routine. 20 minutes of spiritual growth meditation, 20 minutes of learning like reading a book, and 20 mins of exercise. You can do whatever works for you, and that's what I advocate. I advocate for you learning the tools, figuring out what works for you, and even adding something you might like that I never even thought about. The reason this system works is because it's a thing called, habit stacking.
When people make their New Year's resolutions then do them for a few days, a few weeks, maybe even a couple of months then stop? It's because the goal is not linked to anything. That is why I love doing, habit stacking, and starting with this, morning routine. I believe that not only learning tools that will relax you and keep you in, ease and flow, but improve your health as well. These little changes can have massive effects and that's really what I advocate.
Myrna: You're seeing that a, morning routine, helps your clients achieve, peak performance, as well as, ease and flow. What else is the science behind it?
Kerry: Well, basically, the way your brain works is that your brain is designed to keep you alive. We are using all of our senses, our sight, our hearing our smell, or touch or taste. All of our senses are really designed just to take in information from the outside world. It goes to your brain, your brain processes it, the only thing your brain is really looking for is what is a danger?
Our brain actually filters out a ton of information that is actually right before our eyes, we don't even see it. So, our brain is just looking for those negative things. So, when we're talking about any of these practices, when we're talking about creating a, morning routine, when we're talking about meditating or doing anything that's outside of what we would normally do, we're actually rewiring our brain and we're teaching our brain to behave differently.
Let’s say someone is driving really slow in front of me. I'm late for work. I start to get angry and stressed. My brain immediately goes into flight or fight mode. It registers it the same as it would if there was a lion in front of you. Your brain will react to a minor inconvenience like that the same as it would react to a terrible danger. Our brain either is like danger or no danger. It's not like really degrees of it.
So, we really want to learn first of all that awareness piece. First you need to notice that you are getting angrier and angrier, I could start cursing out the person in front of me, or I could have some awareness and say, Oh, my body's reacting. All these chemicals are starting to flood my body, cortisol, a stress hormone and a lot of other things to get you ready to run. Adrenaline is flowing. But then you have your tools. You can turn the radio on and listen to a song. You could say to yourself. I'm running late, that's fine.
You could even just do some, breath work, sitting in your car. You can call somebody and chat with someone and you know, say to them look, I'm feeling stressed. You can listen to music or a book on tape or a podcast anything to signal to your brain, I'm not in danger. Now I'm going to take that time when I would have normally been angry or fuming even getting myself more and more worked up so that I arrive at work, not in a good place. And what happens then you get to work and now you're complaining to everyone and you're not the person you want to be.
Myrna: How do you help your clients solve this problem? Are your classes about, peak performance, or about a, morning routine?
Kerry: So, when I first start working with someone, I like to look at every area of their life so we go through everything, their social life, their love relationship, their parenting if they're a parent, their career and finances and really survey all of the areas of their life. And what I find is people are really excelling in one area and then in a lot of the other areas, they haven't even looked at it. So then once we know that, what area could improve, we start with that.
I personally believe that health should be a priority for you, focusing in on your health could really be a game changer for everybody. And again, I start small, five minutes, go take a walk after lunch, just do some jumping jacks, get up in the morning and do a very quick five-minute, morning routine stretch. Just start to bring more activity into your life and start to really care about your health, care about what you're eating.
Our health is the stop on the peak performance chart
We can't have, peak performance, without our health. It doesn't always have to be health, though every person kind of knows once we go through all the categories which area they really need to work on. Some people need to work on finances. So, when you survey your whole entire life, all the categories of your life, your intellectual life, your emotional life, we all have certain areas that we're like, that's the one I need to work on.
So, I basically teach all of my clients a bunch of tools I always teach them, meditation, I always teach them, breath work, I teach them that they should stretch and strengthen. So that means doing something like, yoga, Qi Gong, and then something like weight training or something that's actually going to improve your muscles. And you know, I have all these little things that I teach them the morning routine and the evening routine.
All of my clients have at least a five-minute, morning routine, and a five minute, evening routine, without your cell phone. Just something you're doing for yourself. And I always say to people if you can make it longer than five minutes, try 15 minutes morning and 15 minutes at night or even longer, depending on your life circumstances. Setting yourself up for success and having the tools to fall back on when you fall down. It's something I think in the wellness world people don't talk about as much.
Myrna: Are you still teaching yoga just for the stretches? Tell us about that.
Kerry: I had stopped teaching yoga during the pandemic because I did not like teaching it online. So, then I started teaching, breathwork workshops, and all these different workshops on, peak performance, in the yoga studios. I would do that as a weekend workshop. I'm not teaching, yoga, although I started going to, yoga, again as a student, which is so nice to be back in a yoga studio. I really am not going to tell anyone I'm a, yoga teacher.
If you have back pain, how to relieve back pain? Yoga. I'll tell you I have this little routine I taught my husband on his hands and knees for his spine. He was having terrible back problems. So, every day for five minutes, he would just do this simple routine, and it completely healed his problem. I always advocate to everybody move your spine in every direction every day. So forward and back, side to side, and then in a circle either direction because that's what's going to keep your spine limber and that's what helps you stay youthful.
Myrna: That is great. I do the same thing with the Sun Salutation movements. I learned about the sun salutation a long time ago. It’s in my memory and I can actually go through those poses without even thinking about it.
Kerry: The absolutely works. And the reason it works, by the way is because it's exactly what I said. It goes through all the motions. So, you're moving all of your joints, you know, in every direction. And I don't even think it would take five minutes to do three of them.
Book: Snooze Button Sessions
Conclusion
Myrna: How they connect with you?
Kerry: Thank you. You can find me at KerryFishercoaching.com. I am on Instagram@ IamKerryFisher. I handle my own Instagram and I love getting messages from people. You could find my books on Amazon. One is on that
My second one is called Routines for Extraordinary Living in these two books you will find so many tools and tests that will help you. I have them right now both on Amazon for 99 cents for the eBook version. So I would love for you to check it out.
Neuroscientists think of the, mind, as an epiphenomenon of the, brain. In other words, it's a function of the, brain. Just like urine is a function of the kidneys, or bile is a function of the gallbladder. I think that the, mind, is a function of the whole body because all of these cells work together. We have never been able to locate the mind or consciousness in the brain.
Dr. Thomas R. Verny is a clinical psychiatrist and the author of eight books, including The Secret Life of the Unborn Child, which was published in 27 countries and 47 scientific papers. He has previously taught at Harvard University, the University of Toronto, York University (Toronto), and St. Mary’s University
His book “The Embodied Mind” is a profoundly important synthesis revealing how cells utilize consciousness to not only manifest their life functions but more importantly, to create a distributed nervous system that coordinates and supports life-sustaining behavior in multicellular communities, such as those comprising the human body.
Myrna: How did your work with the, embodied mind, start?
Dr Verny: I wrote a paper on everything that I knew about, prenatal life. And there was a huge conference in Rome, Italy, the Fifth World Congress and psychosomatic Obstetrics and Gynecology, and I submitted a paper and lo and behold, I mean luck sometimes is really important in life. My paper was accepted. I was like a totally unknown young psychiatrist from Toronto. It was put on the same morning as some of the biggest lights in psychosomatic obstetrics in the world we're presenting their papers.
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The Secret life of the unborn child
I was right up there with all the luminaries, and I got 20 minutes to speak. I noticed within 10 minutes into my talk, that there was tremendous interest in the audience about what my topic “The Secret Life of the Unborn Child.” You could just feel electricity in the air. And so, I said at the end of my lecture, I said, well, if anybody here would like to continue the conversation, please come to my room at five o'clock.
And at five o'clock, huge numbers of people were lined up. They thought that I was promoting some new ways of looking at, prenatal life. That's when I made up my mind to write the book, which then became two years later, The Secret Life of the Unborn Child. We were taught in school that's impossible to remember when you were in the womb, your nervous system is not mature enough to be working in the womb. I wrote the book, and it is based on very solid research that shows that from six months after, conception, the nervous system is mature enough to be able to lay down some, pretty simple, primitive memories, and there's lots of research to back that up.
I could prove this; the evidence was solid was scientific. That children from the age of six months after, conception, would be able to remember things that happened to them in the womb. I had this patient who was able to go back further in time, back to three months after, conception, and some people even carry information from their parents’ experiences. Big traumas, like drowning or being in a war or things like that. So, I asked myself, how is this possible? How can I show this to be scientifically true? Because I was not interested in a lot of stories, I was interested in science.
The book The Secret Life of the unborn child was published in 1982, that's a long time ago. So, seven years ago, I came across information on the, embodied mind. It's ridiculous to think of the, brain, as kind of separate from the body and not being connected to the rest of the body. And so, what I've come to see is that the cells in the body, the tissues, the organs, like the heart, especially, but also the guts. They all act as kind of a backup system to the, brain. And so, when something goes wrong with the, brain. We still have our backup system just like the iCloud.
Myrna: I think I'm getting where you're going with this now. Go ahead.
Dr Verny: So, when something goes wrong with the, brain, the backup system comes online, right. What neurologists say we're sort of your orthodox conservative. Biologist neuroscientists will say that other systems in the, brain, take up the slack. But there is no research to prove that at all. There's no evidence to show that. In my book, The Embodied Mind, I bring up a lot of research evidence to show that the cells in the cells in the body are really not much different from neurons in the, brain. And so, they have, all the elements that the neurons in the, brain, have, except that they're connected a little bit differently.
We have stressed the importance of the, brain, over the importance of the rest of the body. It also goes with our culture, which is very patriarchal, and hierarchical. And as a result of that, the emphasis is always underneath the head honcho supervisor.
Myrna: How did you get them to access that memory? Did you use, hypnosis?
Dr Verny: I have used, hypnosis, once in a while. Never really terribly successful. People did that all on their own without any help from me? In a sense, some kind of a memory would come up, something would trigger that memory. It would it was not instituted by me. Sometimes people you know, after the, Secret Life of the Unborn Child, was published, sometimes people would come to me and asked me to take them there. And I would do that, again, in a very sort of non-directive fashion. I would say things like, what is the first memory that you have in your life?
What your earliest memory can you go back to the womb?
Myrna: My earliest memory was at five years old. I don't go back any further than that. I don't think.
Dr Verny: You probably could. Some of your listeners can try asking 2.5- to 4-year-old kids if they remember being in the womb. Don’t ask any leading questions. Just what do you remember? What was it like?
Myrna: And that's amazing. My grandson is almost 2 years old. I can’t wait to ask him. What I think what I'm hearing you say it is that it's a backup for your main brain. So how does that work?
Dr Verny: The, gut, has been referred to as the second brain and there's good things good reason for that. The, gut, has got a tremendous number of neurons in it. And it creates some very important substances such as, serotonin, for example, which is very important in terms of in terms of how you feel. People with, depression, for example, are supposed to have less, serotonin. And one of the reasons that they are depressed is because they lack, serotonin. Most people don't realize that most of the, serotonin, in the body is actually produced in the dark.
The vagus nerve has 2-way communication to the brain
So, we have the, vagus nerve, which is that ends cranial nerves. Then we have 12 nerves coming out of our, brain. And number 10 the, vagus nerve, is the most important one because it goes to the heart and from the heart, it also goes to the, gut.
Myrna: I try to simulate the, vegas nerve, every day when I do my meditation.
Dr Verny: Think of the, vagus nerve, as sort of from the, embodied brain, to the heart from the heart to the, gut, but you hardly ever also the steps the other way, you know, traffic along the route from the duct to the heart to the to the, brain. So, but then again, you know, we have the bad circulation, and the blood is in contact with all the cells in our bodies. So, when we talk about the second brain, it's really inaccurate, because it's just another organ in the body that stimulates the, brain, and the rest of the body.
I like to I will give you a metaphor that perhaps best describes how I sort of picture the body working. I think it's a very large orchestra, like let's say, you know, the New York symphony. Let's say more than 120 musicians, one conductor. So, each musician plays an instrument and most of the instruments are different. But the person sitting in the audience does not hear 120 instruments. A person in the audience hears one sound one sound emanating from the symphony. That's how our memories are. That's how our, brain, works. But instead of having 120 instruments, we have 120 billion.
Myrna: Deepak Chopra and a few other scientists, says that the, mind, is not in the, brain. Let's talk about that for a minute, where is the mind?
Dr Verny: Where's the mind? Yeah. Yes, again, conservative academic, neuroscientists think of the, mind, as an epiphenomenon of the, brain. In other words, it's a function of the, brain. Just like urine is a function of the kidneys, or bile is a function of the gallbladder, right? Any normal person if they think about this analogy, they can see that it's a mistaken analogy, because the, mind, is not like urine. You know, you can't see it. You can’t measure it, quantify it, you can’t research on it. It's like beauty, or love. You cannot quantify it. It's a whole different phenomenon.
So, to say that the, mind, is a function of the brain doesn't make sense. I think that the, mind, is a function of the whole body because all of these cells work together. We have never been able to locate the mind or consciousness in the brain. There are some very interesting studies of Near-Death Experiences. Perhaps you have heard of those.
Myrna: Yeah, I read a few plus interviewed several on the show.
Dr Verny: So, very often you will have people who will have died, even for all intensive purposes. I actually experienced that with a patient when I was working in a hospital and, his heart stopped beating. I put a vial of adrenaline directly into the heart. About two minutes later, he came back, so to speak, and then he described in great detail what had happened in the room.
Myrna: Apparently, you're supposed to have left your body and you're watching it all. Someplace up here, right.
Dr Verny: Exactly, there is no explanation except to say that the, mind, is definitely not dependent on the body, but independent of it. The mind may very well be one of those elements of the universe like gravity or electrical charges, which have always been here and kind of borrowed from it in some way. You know, we have a tiny bit of that, embodied mind, that exists out there. And it's so certainly, you know, is connected to the body, but it also in some ways is independent of the body.
Book: The Embodied Mind
The embodied mind
And so, that's the reason I called my book “The embodied Mind”, because it's not just the skull mind. Okay? It's not just in the, brain, not just in the head, it’s in the old total body, and who knows what happens after we die. It may persist and who knows?
Myrna: I'm reading your work and I see that you also kind of like equated the mind to the matrix. You're in this alternate universe where, things are happening in the matrix. So, let's say that, someone is listening to this conversation. So, we've got the brain and we've got the body. We've got a backup system. So how can they use this information to transform their lives?
Dr Verny: I think that's a very good question. There are many answers to that question. One of them is that the, mind, is incredibly powerful. And we just don't appreciate how important the, mind, is. Let me let me just give you a very simple example. There was a study done, it's mentioned in my book by a Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer. And it's a very simple study, and it's just so beautiful. She studied hotel maids in New York, and she divided them into two groups of 41. One group, she said that the work that they do, actually follows and lives up to the Surgeon General's recommendations for daily exercise. There work was like exercise, like some people go to the gym, but you work, it's the same thing.
The other group was told something quite different. At the end of at the end of 30 days, they measured all kinds of measurements on these maids. They found that the group that believed that they were exercising lost weight, they decreased waist to hip ratio, and they had a 10% drop in blood pressure. And they did nothing different from the other group. They only believed that they exercising. Now the same thing you know, happens in placebos. You can tell someone that this pill is going to take your headaches away. And it does, you know, nine times out of 10.
What you believe in your mind you create in your body
Myrna: Yeah, and as a psychiatrist, you also know the fact that belief is so important. Now someone coming in sitting on your couch and believes something, regardless of if it's true or not, that's how their body and their, mind, and their world is going to respond.
Dr Verny: Right, in terms of practical advice, it's very important for people to change their attitude towards their own bodies and towards themselves. You know, there are, unfortunately, a lot of people around with low self-esteem. There are a lot of people around who have been criticized as children. I just saw a patient yesterday. You know, and he was always very enthusiastic.
And sometimes he would if the teacher would ask a question, he would speak out without putting up his hand and we would be punished for that. Instead of a good teacher would say, Yeah, okay, that's very good. But perhaps next time you could put up your hands. Instead of that, you know, he was put down so now you know, even when he goes shopping, he's afraid that somebody might ask him a question. He might not be able to come up with the right answer. I mean, he's just full of anxieties.
Myrna: Wow, such a simple thing like that has a far-reaching consequences.
Dr Verny: My advice is, be honest. Look in the mirror and look at yourself. And if you find that there are certain things you don't like about yourself, well face that and make it better, improve it. Don't go around trying to cover up That's not the way to do it. Get it out of your system. Find out why you think that you are not beautiful or that you are not clever or whatever your negative beliefs are. Get rid of them. Talk to your friends, ask them why they like you. And, and you will be you will be astonished what they say.
Myrna: Yeah, because you never see your strengths yourself.
Dr Verny: So when you get that kind of a feedback, then perhaps you can start believing in it. And if you believe in it, well then you will become it.
Dr Verny: Will they can pick up my book on Amazon. My website is www.TRVernyMD.com. It's a very rich book because I read above 5000 books and journals in preparation for that book. And it has actually 500 references in the back of the book scientific references. So, it has a tremendous amount of information in there and at the end of each chapter, you have, practical sort of takeaways.
But I think the most important feature is just to develop a respect for your, mind, and how powerful it is and how it can influence every particle, every cell in your body, how you think about yourself, is very important. And also, you know, interacting with other people. touching other people is very important. You know, the hug a day keeps the doctor away, as far as I'm concerned.
So, I think those things are really important and, and to realize how important also the, gut bacteria, are because every day we are learning more and more about the importance of the, gut bacteria, for example, just one more thing. People take antidepressants when they're depressed. 1/3 of patients do not benefit from antidepressants. The reason they don't benefit is there's nothing wrong with the drugs. They're pretty good drugs, actually, but some people have bacteria in their gut which destroy those particular antidepressants, and so they don't work.
