How to find happiness, after a tough year, your circumstances could be bad. You could have gotten a divorce, you could have lost a job, you could have lost a loved one. Can you find, happiness, after a loss? In the, pursuit of happiness, guru’s teach that, happiness, could only be found on the inside, so we can be happy regardless of losing a loved one, losing our job, a sickness, or divorce.
But the question is portable because we can add anything after the, How to find happiness, after….! We can add, How to find happiness, after my kids leave home, or, how to find happiness, after someone close to me dies, or, how to find happiness, after I lose my job etc..
We can substitute any phrase.
Happiness, comes from the inside.
The Pursuit of Happiness
Happiness, is the universal goal of everyone who has breathe.
Let’s look first at the relationship you have with yourself. Self-love is so important to, happiness.
You have to try very hard to love yourself. If you can’t love yourself no one else can love you.
If you can’t love yourself you can never be happy.
You can start by finding one thing about you, that you love.
God knew what he was doing when he created you. Everyone has at least one thing that makes them stand out.
Find it and give it love every time you look into the mirror.
And if there is something you can change, Change it. If you can’t change it, find a different perspective on it and learn to love it.
You can change your weight, your hair color, your teeth, your wardrobe.
You can’t change your height, your skin color, your sex!
There is no sense whatsoever about being unhappy about something you can’t change about yourself or about something you can change; but won’t.
How to be Happy
I just saw one of the most inspiring movies of the decade. Hidden Figures.
As a coach, this movie had so many nuggets.
1. The women were ambitious and they took control of their lives. They did not sit around and blame their skin color.
In one scene, one of the women was bitching that in order to get a promotion she had to upgrade her education.
The problem was that the only school she could do this at was an a white’s only school. So what did she do?
She petitioned the court to change the school to an integrated school. She researched and presented her case to the judge with such passion that the judge had no choice but to grant her the motion.
In another scene, IBM computers were going to make the woman computers obsolete, so the leader of the group took it on herself to learn how to program the computer. She had to steal the programming book from the white’s only library because the colored library had no such books! That is the, pursuit of happiness, working towards a goal.
There is always something you can do to improve your circumstance.
You are either part of the solution or you are part of the problem.
I covered the other 2 ways to find, happiness, in the video.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you.
3 And your relationship with God.
As you can see relationship is key!
We are social beings, we need connection, even if it is with one person.
How to find happiness in life
I would like to end this post with this story.
I was searching the internet for a story on, Happiness, and I came across this movie called “Finding Happiness by Yogi Swami Kriyananda..“
Yogi Swami has Ananda colonies all over the world where people live in harmony and higher consciousness in nature.
Ananda means true joy is within.
Yogi Swami choose to build his colonies in nature because being in the presence of beauty is important to uplifting consciousness.
As you all know the East teaches the importance of meditation.
Meditation allows you to find your sense of security inside, it allows you to find your sense of self inside and when you find these things inside of you, you can never lose it because no one can ever take it away.
The Ananda colonies teaches that if you live to be happy, you will find things that make you happy and the number one thing that makes us happy is selfless service to others.
I also added a bonus audio on “How to control your thoughts”
As you know that, happiness, comes not from what people do to you or your circumstances but how you think about it.
So your internal dialog and your thoughts must be controlled and channeled into positivity and gratitude for you to find, happiness.
I urge you to find all the things that make you happy, and do them.
Find the things that make you happy, make it a necessity to be in nature at least once per week!
You will not only find, happiness, but you find your bliss!
Mindfulness Meditation, is not just for Buddhists and monks. Meditation, unlocks the power you have within to take your business to the top.
When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, spirituality, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self. As many successful entrepreneurs know, reduced stress is the foundation to creating the business and lifestyle you want. If you are not removing your limiting beliefs and constantly working on your vision, you are limiting your own growth and the growth of your company. You are the lid!
Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation
As a leader or an Entrepreneur there is no better way to overcome obstacles, rise to the top or be creative with out first quieting the noise in your head. When you become still you tap into your creative power by connecting to your source. During, mindfulness meditation, you experience that peace that surpasses all understanding that the bible talks about. When you forget about all the things you have to do and just focus on the life inside you by witnessing your breathing, you move closer to becoming conscious and understand your purpose. Being quiet and still allows you to listen to instructions from the higher power who guides you. It is said that it is easier to guide a horse in the direction it is running in; so when you fall into line with what God wants you to do for his Kingdom then your business and your life become less of a struggle.
The reasons we practice, mindfulness meditation, are as varied as the many ways there are to, meditate. In the West, most people are drawn to, mindfulness meditation, to quiet the internal chatter of the brain and to reduce stress. Mindfulness meditation, is indeed a very effective stress reducer, but its benefits—sometimes mysteriously hidden—are far more bountiful. The actual act of, mindfulness meditation, can be as simple as sitting quietly and focusing on your breath while repeating silently a, mantra, a word or phrase. for example the, om mantra, or the Gayatri mantra. There are countless traditions and no singular “correct” way to practice, mindfulness meditation.
Find a practice that you like and stick with it for a while. Notice how you feel as you go about your days. If you find that you have more patience, feel grounded and better able to respond to stressful situations, and are more in touch with your intuition or “gut feelings,” you are enjoying the many benefits of, mindfulness meditation.
I practice, mindfulness meditation, by finding a quiet place in the morning as I drink my coffee. I listen to a, guided mindfulness meditation, tape on topics such as “activating consciousness“, visionary me meditation, “the law of attraction” etc. as I listen I clear my mind by mentally repeating a centering thought and witnessing my breathing. At the end of my meditation I am relaxed, totally open and creative. I usually write some deep insights after my meditation sessions and I get answers from God and the Universe to questions I ask. This is the perfect way to become a visionary and an innovate leader.
Mindfulness Meditation, is good for our Physical Bodies
Scientists gathering data on, mindfulness meditation, have found that a consistent practice of, mantra meditation, not only boosts the mind, but it also bolsters the body. Studies shows that, meditation, can help reverse heart disease, reduce pain, and support the immune system, better enabling it to fight disease.
The mind-body connection between stress and disease is abundantly apparent as science is finding that, mindfulness meditation, can lower production of the stress hormone cortisol. This means, mediators, are better able to adapt to stress in their lives.
2: Mindfulness Meditation, is good for Our Relationships
Paradoxically, while, meditation, helps us tune in and turn inward to our true essence, it also helps us detach from our own egos to connect with others in more meaningful ways. Couples counselors have found when they assign their clients, mindfulness meditation, the couples become less angry, more self-reflective, and more loving. When we become aware of—and honor—our interconnection with other beings, we are able to recast our perspectives, see our worries in a different light, and embrace gratitude, which is the heart’s memory.
The bible teaches that we can’t change others only ourselves and when we, meditate, we tune into who we really are. Our ancestral legacy is a brain that is primed to focus on negative experiences and has a tendency to get stuck in conditioned patterns of thinking, returning again and again to thoughts of anxiety, depression, and limitation. So in our relationships we tend to focus on what we do not have instead of what we do have. As you meditate on a regular basis, you develop what is known as “witnessing awareness”—the ability to calmly and objectively observe a situation, notice when you are being triggered, and consciously choose how you want to respond. The ability to be present and aware is extremely valuable in every relationship.
When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self. Yogis and doctors both agree, mindfulness meditation, even just a few minutes of deep breathing—relaxes the brain, reduces anxiety, and decreases depression. We say we can’t afford the time to, meditate, but the truth is we can’t afford not to. When we tell ourselves we don’t have time to exercise, or meditate, then we will make time for sickness and depression. During most of our waking lives, our minds are engaged in a continuous internal dialogue in which the meaning and emotional associations of one thought triggers the next.
We hear a snippet of music and suddenly we’re thinking about the first time we heard that song with an old boyfriend or girlfriend and how that relationship ended. If we’re still holding emotional pain over that ending, those feelings may bubble up and then our mind may veer into criticism, self-pity, or worries about the future. Mindfulness Meditation, is one of the best tools we have to counter the brain’s negativity bias, release accumulated stress, foster positive experiences and intentions, and enjoy the peace of present moment awareness. A large body of research has established that having a regular meditation practice produces tangible benefits for mental and physical health, including:
Decreased blood pressure and hypertension
Lowered cholesterol levels
Reduced production of “stress hormones,” including cortisol and adrenaline
More efficient oxygen use by the body
Increased production of the anti-aging hormone DHEA
4: Mindfulness Meditation, Reduces Stress and Burnout
What role is more stressful than the role of a Leader? None, as a Leader you are responsible for the lives of your employees, families, and your commitment to your community? Chronic, unmanaged stress can make you sick and accelerate aging. As many scientific studies have found, prolonged stress can contribute to:
high blood pressure,
and accelerated aging.
During, mindfulness meditation, your body releases stress and reverses the effects of the flight-or-fight response—that ancient instinct we all have to either run from perceived danger or take it on in battle. Intended as a short-term protection mechanism, fight or flight causes our body to speed up our heart rate, increase our blood sugar, suppress our immune system, reduce insulin production, pump out stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, and reduce the blood supply to our digestive organs. All of these reactions happen so that our body can focus on either running away as fast as it can—or staying to fight. Although few people reading this face daily threats to their bodily existence, many live in a prolonged state of fight or flight, generating stress in response to bad traffic, criticism from a spouse, or a disagreement.
Regular, meditation, dissipates accumulated stress and cultivates a state of restful alertness. There are many compelling studies showing the power of, mindfulness meditation, to relieve stress and promote inner calm. For example, a 2011 study published in the Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine Journal found that full-time workers who spent a few hours each week practicing, mindfulness meditation, reported a significant decrease in job stress, anxiety, and depressed mood. The reason, meditation, is so popular among successful individuals is it helps release stress, lets go of excess thoughts and expand awareness. As you dive deeper into your, mindfulness meditation, practice you see people events and circumstances as they really are, not as they are perceived to be. It allows you to have an internal Locus of control. That means that you don’t react to external stimuli but are proactive with action plans and goals. It also means that as challenges arise in your business, you will not get overwhelmed; but face those challenges calmly and efficiently. As an Entrepreneur Leader, meditation allows you to turn your failures into successes.
5: Mindfulness Meditation, Enhances Your Concentration, Memory, and Ability to Learn
As researchers have found, mindfulness meditation, can help you tap into your brain’s deepest potential to focus, learn, and adapt. While scientists used to believe that beyond a certain age, the brain couldn’t change or grow, we now know that the brain has a quality known as plasticity, enabling it to grow new neurons and transform throughout our lives. Meditation is a powerful tool for awakening new neural connections and even transforming regions of the brain. A recent study led by Harvard University and Massachusetts General Hospital found that after only eight weeks of meditation, participants experienced beneficial growth in the brain areas associated with memory, learning, empathy, self-awareness, and stress regulation. In addition, the meditators reported decreased feelings of anxiety and greater feelings of calm. This study adds to the expanding body of research about the brain’s amazing plasticity and ability to change habitual stress patterns.
Many other studies provide evidence for the value of, mindfulness meditation, in improving the ability to stay focused in world filled with increasing distractions, and demands on our attention. For example, research conducted by the UCLA Mindful Awareness Center showed that teenagers and adults with ADHD who practiced various forms of, meditation for just eight weeks improved their ability to concentrate on tasks, even when attempts were made to distract them. In the world of the Entrepreneur Leader, the ability to focus when you are pulled in so many different directions is extremely important to your success.
6: Mindfulness Meditation, Improves Your Creativity and Problem-Solving Skills in your Business
We each have an estimated 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day—unfortunately, many of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday, last week, and last year. The mind tends to get stuck in repetitive thought loops that squeeze out the possibility for new ideas and inspiration. Mindfulness meditation, is a powerful practice for going beyond habitual, conditioned thought patterns into a state of expanded awareness. We connect to what is known as the field of infinite possibilities or pure potentiality, and we open to new insights, intuition, and ideas. And as we meditate and focus on our breathing, we stop this continuous cycle.
7: Mindfulness Meditation, Decreases Anxiety, and Insomnia
The emotional effects of sitting quietly and going within are profound. The deep state of rest produced by, mindfulness meditation, triggers the brain to release neurotransmitters, including dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. Each of these naturally occurring brain chemicals has been linked to different aspects of happiness:
Dopamine plays a key role in the brain’s ability to experience pleasure, feel rewarded, and maintain focus. Serotonin has a calming effect. It eases tension and helps us feel less stressed and more relaxed and focused. Low levels of this neurotransmitter have been linked to migraines, anxiety, bipolar disorder, apathy, feelings of worthlessness, fatigue, and insomnia. Oxytocin (the same chemical whose levels rise during sexual arousal and breastfeeding), is a pleasure hormone. It creates feelings of calm, contentment, and security, while reducing fear and anxiety. Endorphins are most commonly known as the chemicals that create the exhilaration commonly labeled “the runner’s high.” These neurotransmitters play many roles related to well being, including decreasing feelings of pain and reducing the side effects of stress.
The 9th Principle taught in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” is Love.
Love. This 4 letter word is so powerful! and, self love, is this love turned inside.
Love including, self love is the most powerful force in the universe!
It can break the bonds of years, sometimes generations of, addictions, and, generational curses.
God’s Love for Humanity
God’s love, for humanity caused him to send his only begotten son Jesus to die for our sins so that we can have everlasting life.
A mother’s love, for her child gives her superhuman strength, to save her child from death or injury.
The love we have for our wife and husband keeps off stress and diseases when that love is active and healthy.
You see when we are in the throes of our love experiences, we look at the world through rose colored glasses.
Everything is sunny. We stop to smell the roses.
Our hearts beat faster when our loved ones are near.
We ride the energy waves of this spiritual connection and in turn we feel energized, we smile and laugh more and we don’t sweat the small stuff!
The energy of love combined with, sexual energy, is even more powerful!
When you transmute, sexual energy, for the person you love, you can create or imagine life changing books, companies and inventions that propel humanity forward!
In order for you to give love to another you must first have, self love, inside of you.
You have to love yourself, you have to love your world or the space you work and play in your world.
You have to love God, your creator.
When you have, self love, you gain, self confidence
Self-confidence is necessary for you to be successful in your career and in your business
Click the link below to hear a powerful story of how lack of self-confidence can ruin your world. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8J1ECHTnc64
Love doesn’t have to be the Notebook kind with grand gestures and sacrifice.
We love to watch movies like the Notebook about true love that never dies.
We are inspired by stories about Edward, Prince of Wales and Wallace Simpson and how he chose love over the throne; but most of us would settle for the simple acts of love.
This artist depicts these acts in her paintings so wonderfully and every couple should aspire to connect on this level.
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse coming up and giving them a hug while they are cooking in the kitchen?
• Who wouldn’t love their spouse watching chick flicks with them and enjoying it as much as they do?
• Who wouldn’t love going out for ice cream and licking each other ice cream cones and stealing a kiss?
• Who wouldn’t love just being in a room and just enjoying each other, laying on your husbands lap while you read a book?
• Who wouldn’t like coming home and seeing your husband with a apron on in the kitchen cooking dinner?
Who wouldn’t have, self love, after all this.
Love shouldn’t be only for your spouse, children, family and friends. Love should be for all relationships in and out of the workplace, with customers, suppliers, everyone!
Giving love and compassion to the people you work with yields immense, self love.
Here are 5 ways to be a LoveCat at work with, self love:
1. Greet everyone who walks into your office or room with eye contact and a smile.
2. Hug your close associates or people you have a personal relationship at work.
3. Replace the word Hate with the word, self love, whenever you can and watch it transform the energy.
4. Read lots of books and offer the knowledge gained from these books to your co-workers to help them with projects, initiatives or difficult personal situations.
5. Start a book club at work and have everybody share cliff notes from the books read.
All in all, self love, is like a boomerang, it always comes back so give it freely.
It is like seeds that blow in the wind. It does not always come back from the people we choose to love; but it always comes back
Check out my chapter on Love in my book “Out of the Snares” A story of hope and encouragement.
Spiritual Awakening, is like waking up from a dream. When we live like we are sleeping, we are just numb to, consciousness. Spirituality, or “of the spirit” are our thoughts. The concept of spiritual awakening, is that life isn’t random, there is a pattern and purpose to every existence. Deepak Chopra calls this Synchro-destiny. Every moment is pre-destined, it is as it should be. The reason that challenges arise is simple are to make us more aware of our inner purpose and destiny.
Introduction to Spiritual Awakening
Why is life so difficult? It can be said that if you are not facing challenges, you are dead!
The bible says teaches “like fish caught in a net, problems show up unexpectedly.”
Somehow life manages to bring difficult problems, the causes of untold suffering and struggle. How you meet your challenges makes all the difference between the promise of success and, spiritual awakening, and the specter of failure. Successful people look at solutions while unsuccessful people only see the problem. Spiritual Awakening, can help solve internal struggles.
Eckhart Tolle says “we should live life accepting what comes our way; not being too happy when good things happen to us and not being too sad when bad things happen to us. Live in the now”.
When your, awareness, or, spirituality, expands events that seemed random begin to arrange themselves in a pattern; you become aware of a larger purpose and notice these events are actually related to the greater whole. Just as our bodies operate in a state of Homeostasis; in a similar way events and coincidences are all connected and are part of God’s plan for your purpose. When you become, awakened, your purpose (which is unique for each person) you become like an architect who has been handed a blueprint of his or her, spirituality. Instead of laying bricks and fitting pipes at random, the architect can now proceed with confidence that he knows what the building should look like and how to construct it that’s, spiritual awakening.
The first step in this process is recognizing what level of, awareness, you are working from right now. Every time a challenge comes your way, whether it is about relationships, work, personal transitions, or a crisis that demands action. It demands, spiritual awakening.
There are three levels of Spiritual Awakening.
Become aware of them, and you will take a huge step toward becoming a sorcerer and tapping into, spirituality.
Level 1: Contracted Awareness or no Spirituality
This is the level of the problem, and therefore it immediately grabs your attention. If all you see is the problem, then you need, spiritual awakening. Something has gone wrong. Expectations have turned sour. You face obstacles that don’t want to move. As resistance mounts, your situation still doesn’t improve because you are not tapping into your, spirituality. If you examine the level of the problem, the following elements are generally present:
Your desires are thwarted. Something you want is meeting with opposition. You feel as if every step forward is a battle.
You keep doing more of what never worked in the first place.
As frustration mounts, your energy is depleted. You feel more and more exhausted because you need to wake up, you need, spiritual awakening.
You can tell if you are stuck at the level of contracted, spiritual awakening, by one simple test:
Do you feel like the more you struggle to get free of the problem, the more you are trapped in it? In addition the law of attraction states that what you think about you bring about. The end result is that you get on the wave of negative thoughts , your, spirituality, that attract more of the same so not only does your problem not get resolved; but you attract more problems into your circumstance. Meditation, with positive thoughts, smiling, prayer, repeating positive mantras or scriptures are ways to create positive energies and break the negative cycle and start you, spiritual awakening.
Level 2: Expanded Awareness or Spiritual Awakening
This is the level where solutions begin to appear. Your vision extends beyond the conflict, giving you more clarity. You are becoming one with your, spirituality. For most people this level isn’t immediately available, because their first reaction to a crisis is to contract and feel the pain of the situation. They become defensive, wary, and fearful. But if you allow yourself to expand, you will find that the following elements enter your, awareness:
The need to struggle begins to diminish. You put the problem in God’s hands.
You start to let go. You stand on the principle that all roads lead to your destination
More people connect with you. You get council
You approach decisions with confidence.
You meet fear realistically (fear is perceived) and it starts to lessen.
With clearer vision, you no longer feel confused and conflicted.
You can tell that you have reached this level of, awareness, when you no longer feel stuck; a process has begun. With greater expansion, unseen forces come to your aid. You move forward according to what you desire from your life, your, awareness, and, spirituality.
Level 3: Pure Spiritual Awakening or Enlightenment
Pure, spiritual awakening, is when no problems exist. You have transcended suffering as Buddha did. Every challenge is a creative opportunity. You feel completely aligned with the forces of nature. You have aligned with your, spiritual awakening, and your, spirituality. What makes this possible is that, awareness, can expand without limits. Although it may seem that it takes long time to have true mastery of your mind and get on the, spiritual awakening, path to reach pure, awareness; the truth is exactly the opposite. At every moment pure, awareness, is in contact with you, sending creative impulses. All that matters is how open you are to the answers being presented. When you are fully open, the following elements will be present: There is no struggle.
You are present in the now. Your mind is not busy with noise about the past or anticipating the future.
Desires reach fulfillment spontaneously.
The next thing you want is the best thing that could happen to you. You are a benefit to yourself and your surroundings.
The outer world reflects what is happening in your inner world.
You feel completely safe. You are at home in the Universe.
You view yourself and the world with compassion and understanding.
To be completely established in pure, awareness, of, spirituality, and, enlightenment, is the basis of, spirituality, a state of unity with everything in existence. Ultimately, every life is moving in that direction. Without attaining the final goal, you can tell that you are in contact with pure, awareness, if you feel truly yourself, in a state of peace and freedom.
Each of these levels brings its own kind of experience. This can be easily seen when there is a sharp contrast or a sudden change. Love at first sight takes a person without warning from contracted, awareness, to expanded, awareness, and is a, spiritual, experience. Instead of relating in the normal social way, suddenly you see immense appeal, even perfection, in one other person. In creative work there is the “Aha!” experience. Instead of wrestling with a blocked imagination, suddenly the answer presents itself, fresh and new! No one doubts that such epiphanies exist. They can be life changing, as in the so- called peak experience, when reality is flooded with light and a revelation dawns. What people don’t see is that expanded, awareness, should be our normal state, not a moment of extraordinary difference.
Problems with, Spirituality
Listening to people tell their stories of problems, obstacles, failure, and frustration (an existence trapped in contracted, awareness, and, spirituality, one sees that reaching a new vision is critical. It is all too easy to get lost in particulars. The difficulties of facing each challenge are often overwhelming. No matter how intensely you feel your situation, which has its own unique difficulties, if you look to the right and left, you will see others who are just as caught up in their situations. Strip away the details, and what remains is a general cause of suffering: lack of, awareness, that everything is impermanent. Unless you are shown how to expand your, awareness, you have no choice but to experience the state of contraction caused from pain and suffering.
Just as the body flinches when faced with physical pain, the mind has a reflex that makes it draw back when faced with mental pain. Tony Robbins says that “people move away from pain and towards pleasure” Here again, a moment of sudden contrast makes it easy to experience what contraction feels like. Imagine yourself in any of the following situations:
You are a young mother who has taken your child to the playground. You chat for a moment with another mother, and when you turn around, you can’t see your child.
At work you are sitting at your computer when someone casually mentions that there are going to be layoffs, and by the way, the boss wants to see you.
You open your mailbox and find a letter from the Internal Revenue Service and you remembered that you do not have your receipts.
While driving you approach an intersection when, out of the blue, a car behind you swerves past your car and runs a red light.
You walk into a restaurant and see your spouse sitting with an attractive companion. They are leaning in toward each other, holding hands and talking in low voices.
It doesn’t take much imagination to feel the sudden change of, awareness, that these situations provoke. Panic, anxiety, anger, and apprehension flood your mind; these are the result of brain changes as the lower brain takes precedent over the higher brain, triggering the release of adrenaline as part of an array of physical responses known as the stress response. Any feeling is both mental and physical. The brain gives a precise representation of what the mind is experiencing, drawing on infinite combinations of electro chemical signals coursing through one hundred billion neurons. A brain researcher can pinpoint with ever-increasing accuracy exactly those regions that produce such changes. What cannot be seen on an MRI is the mental event that incites all these changes, because the mind functions at the invisible level of awareness or consciousness. We can take these two terms as synonyms, but let’s explore them a little.
Business Problems created from lack of Spiritual Awakening
Spirituality, deals with your state of, awareness. It isn’t the same as medicine or psychotherapy. Medicine deals in the physical aspect where bodily changes occur. Psychotherapy deals with a specific difficulty, such as anxiety, depression, or actual mental illness. Spirituality, confronts, awareness, directly. It aims to produce higher consciousness. In our society this is seen as less real than the other ways of approaching problems. In times of trouble, people cope as best as they can with a swirling confusion of fear, anger, mood swings, and everyday struggle. It doesn’t even occur to them to pair the two words, spirituality, and solution in the same sentence; this points to a limited vision about what spirituality really is, and what it can do for you. We must incorporate our non-physical being with our physical body to solve everyday problems.
We all have at least one, Guardian Angel, assigned to us and they have two jobs; one is to love us unconditionally and the other is to get us to our predetermined expiration date.
In today’s episode of the”Transform your Mind, to Transform your Life podcast, I interview, Keith Leon S. Keith Leon S, is a multiple best-selling author, publisher and speaker who is well known as the book Guy. His life purpose book called “Walking with my Angels” is a true story with the foreword written by “Chicken Soup for the Soul” Jack Canfield. Keith has appeared in numerous popular radio and television broadcast and his works have been covered by Ink magazine, LA Weekly, The Huffington Post, and Succeed magazine just to name a few. Keith has spoken at events that included Jack Canfield, Bob Proctor, Neale Donald Walsch, Barbara DeAngelis, Dr. John Gray, Dr. Michael Beckwith, and Marianna Williamson.
Listen to the full interview here:
Keith also loves introducing people to their inner guidance system whom he calls heavenly helpers. Keith can you introduce us to your story.
Keith’s story of his Guardian Angel
Well it’s the story of my life and how many times my, Guardian Angel, intervened to keep me on the planet. I should have died eight times already and miracles has kept me alive. These miracles happened when I was a child and, so even from childhood I had this question. What was so great about me that I would be saved and so many people were not. What am I here to do that is so grand that miracles keep happening to keep me on the planet?
It wasn’t until my early 20’s that I actually received the answer to that question. I received that answer from my, earth bound Angel. My, earth bound Angel, John appeared to me as a man; but was really my, earthbound Angel, and told me that his job was to take me from,
“Believing in nothing to believing in Everything”
He performed, miracles, just to get me to open my mind and believe in him and believe that all things are possible. He eventually did reveal my life purpose to me in a very specific way. He told me at one point he would saved my life and once he did that I would have to let him go because then he would be off to help another person.
One of the lessons he taught me, was he took me into a cave that was pitch black and taught me to trust even when I can’t see anything in front of me.
Guardian Angels and Its a Wonderful Life Movie
That part of your story reminded me of the movie a Wonderful Life.
I also read the book “A Peaceful Warrior. ” After reading that book I thought that the author had followed me around. It was exactly my story! I actually had to omit a lot of things from my book because there were the same as the author described.
I thought he must have followed me around with the pen and paper. The story was exactly like mine. I really feel like it’s the same angel! So I actually had to omit a lot of things from my story because his experience was almost the same as mine.
You started talking to angels when you were like eight years old or younger and you talked about the times in your life’s when your, Guardian Angel, saved your life or warned you of danger. I specifically remember in your book, the time when this man on the street asked you to touch his penis and your, guardian angel, told you to run and shout for your mom.
How did you know you were talking to your, Guardian Angel, and not a voice in your head, because we all have about 5 voices in our head?
When I was a child my, Guardian Angel, voice came from outside of me. His voice would come from different places. Sometimes would be up in the ceiling, sometimes in the corner, sometimes it would be behind me or to my left, sometimes my right, sometimes right in front of me.
Because I was a child, I feel that if my, Guardian Angel, voice came from inside my head, then I would be doubting myself and questioning myself. But because it was outside of me and I could hear it audibly, just like I hear you talking to me right now, then I was sure the voice was my, Guardian Angel.
I just learned pretty quickly that when I do what my, Guardian Angel, tells me to do, everything goes just great.
Tell us about your, Earth bound Angel, you called him John in your book.
You said the John your, earth bound Angel, told you your purpose. You said you didn’t understand why you were so special before John showed up.
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Does everyone have a, Guardian Angel?
Everyone has at least one, Guardian Angel, assigned to them. They just don’t know it. Like my mom. She thought she had mother’s intuition. That’s what she called it; but she was being guided by her, Guardian Angel. She would say, don’t go out and ride that skateboard, you will get a fractured wrist, and I’d be like yeah mama leave me alone. I’d go ride that skateboard and fractured my wrist.
There was even a point where my, Guardian Angel, advised her at a time when she was manic depressive. There was a time when my mom was really depressed and she just decided that she was gonna kill herself and me and my sister. So she closed all the windows and turned the gas on in the house and a voice told her “you can’t do that, open the windows and turn off the gas.” She didn’t listen and the voice became louder. “YOU CANNOT DO THAT, OPEN THE WINDOWS AND TURN OFF THE GAS.” She said the voice sounded like GOD, she freaked out and turned off the gas and opened the windows.
She didn’t tell me this story until much later when she was on her deathbed and I was telling her that I should have died seven times already and my, Guardian Angel, saved me and she added oh yeah it should be eight times!
We all have at least one, Guardian Angel, assigned to us and they have two jobs one is to:
To love you unconditionally, so they like your mom, there’s nothing you could do that would make them love you less.
To just get you to your predetermined expiration date. There’s a time that you’re here on the earth, and they have to get you to that date. So whenever you avoid an accident or any danger your, Guardian Angel, is intervening to get you to your predetermined expiration date. In the meanwhile they’re standing by going oh my God, I could do so much more for you; but because you have free will they cannot do any more than those two things unless you invite them to do more.
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Here is how you invite your, Guardian Angel, to do more for you
First of all say thanks a lot for keeping me safe. I’m inviting you to show up for me. If you’d like to show yourself physically to me that’s okay too. If you want to have it where I ask a question and I go out to the car and the next song that comes on the radio is the exact answer, great. However you want to show up now that I have invited you, I will pay attention.
What is the message that like your readers to take away about, Guardian Angels, from your book “Walking with Angels”
I wanted to share with everyone in the world what I know is absolute truth and that is this.
You are directly connected to the source energy that created everything in this world.
I call it, Guardian Angels, and you may call it intuition, our guidance system, energy, you may call it Source, God, Jehovah, Buddha. I like to say it doesn’t care what you call it, as long as you call it!
So I’m called to share with you that if you’re willing to sit, ask, and listen, you will get guidance from your, Guardian Angel.
Notice there’s just three instructions, sit, ask and listen. A lot of people sit in meditation and prayer; but are asking the wrong questions. Any question that starts with Why is not a question that you want an answer to. Instead Ask, How can I be more loving? What can I do to create more and attract more abundance into my life?
If you’re going to sit, ask and listen. Listening being the most important of those three words. I just said we’re sitting and asking; but when do we really sit long enough to get the answer? So if you listen, you can access the answer to any question that you have; because you are in direct communication with the Creator.
Your words have power, and here’s what I want you to know. You have more power within you than you’ll ever know. You have more power in your little finger than you think you have in your whole entire body. And so my book will show you all the ways that you may have been disconnected from your source.
It will share with you how to reopen the floodgates to start manifesting your dreams and your desires and to access the inner knowing that you have within you.
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What is the difference between a, Guardian Angel, and, Archangels,
Guardian Angels, like I said, we all have at least one assigned to us. They have a clear job. To love you unconditionally and get you to your predetermined expiration date. They’re like your buddy, they’re with you all the time.
Arc Angels, are more famous Angels. Like, Archangel Michael. Arc Angels, are really great at specific things. People have been channeling them for years.
Archangel Michael, is the warrior who fights against Satan and his emissaries. The defender of those who love God. The protector of the people of God.
The, Archangel Michael, the ‘celestial warrior’, is the protector of swordsmen and masters of arms. His skills as a judger of souls have also made him the patron of all trades that involve the use of assessments, such as traders, pharmacists, pastry chefs. He is also patron saint of the Police.
Archangel Michael, is the protector. You can say, Archangel Michael, I’m going to see my mom every for Thanksgiving dinner. Will you wrap your wings of protection around me right now and if anything negative comes at me energetically, let it bounce off your wings and hit the floor. Because the, Archangel Michael, can be anyplace and anywhere, he can be doing that for me and be doing that for someone across the U.S and someone in Africa or someone in India simultaneously.
You start with your, guardian angel, and then you step up to the, Archangels. So, Archangel Michael, can give support that would help me move forward.
Archangel Gabriel, is one of the spirits closest to God, before his heavenly throne, the one who revealed to Daniel the secrets of God’s plan, announced to Zechariah the birth of John the Baptist and to Mary that of Jesus.
Archangel Gabrielle, is the saint who opens doors for you. Like a business and things that you want to manifest.
Archangel Raphael, stands before the throne of God , accompanied and protects Tobias in his perilous journey and healed his father from blindness and his future bride from the influence of evil.
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Worship, definitely brings access because, God loves, worship. He’s our creator and He loves it when we make time for Him. He wants us to actually, worship, and praise Him. To enter His gate with thanksgiving and His courts with praise.
Worship, is one of my favorite topics. I have a very special relationship with, praise and worship. Whenever I’m in, worship, I’m so moved the feeling intimacy with, God.
My guest today is Tricie Graham. This post is how to take your, worship, to the next level. My pastor would say a church without, worship, is like absent fire; because you need to bring the fire in your worship.
Listen to the full interview
Introduction to, Praise and Worship
Tricie Graham was born and raised in Detroit Michigan and now resides in Chicago Illinois. She grew up in a Pentecostal Church on the West side of Detroit as the daughter of an Assistant Pastor who later became a Pastor. As a dreamer and a seer, Tricie came to be acquainted with the prophetic at a very young age. Tricie now works alongside her husband Elliott Graham in Evangelism and outreach at Good Seed Ground Ministries.
Tricie is a prophetess, teacher, dream interpreter and intercessor trained in spiritual warfare. (That’s some good skills) She believes in the supernatural, God, of the Bible and has experienced miraculous encounters with, God. Tricie is passionate about helping others to achieve intimacy with, God, through a relationship with His son, Jesus Christ. She’s also a freelance writer and author of the book “A Higher Place of Worship”.
Introduction to A Higher Place of Worship
Myrna – Why did you write this book? Tell us how this book came about and what was your inspiration for writing it?
Tricie – My inspiration for writing “A Higher Place of Worship” began with my recovery from COVID 19. I was sick in March. I was diagnosed with COVID 19. I was sick for about three weeks, I was really ill. During this sickness and even before then I was asking, God, what my next step in my life would be. Where do I go from here?
So as soon as I recovered from COVID 19, the Lord told me to go and revisit some notes from a message I had taught back in December of 2018. The message was on, worship. As I did that, I heard the Lord say that He wanted me to write a book on, worship.
Myrna – Tell us more about your, worship, message and why, God, wanted you to talk on, worship specifically?
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Tricie – I was lying in bed very scared. I had just come back from the hospital with this diagnosis and I was praying to God. I was asking Him – Lord, if you’re in my corner, please show me. I fell asleep. That night my whole body was aching; I have a headache, I have a fever and my chest was very congested. Though, I can still breathe, I’m having all these different symptoms. Scared thoughts were racing through my mind of what’s going to happen next. Am I dying?
God Had me in his Arms
With all the news all over the world that people are dying and losing their lives, I cried out to, God, with my whole being saying “Lord, if you’re with me please show me.” I didn’t know how the answer was going to come, so I go to sleep. That night, I dreamed of being on a balcony and as I’m on this balcony, I saw a man sitting in the corner.
As I held on to the banister, because I felt I was going to fall. I actually fell backwards onto the Balcony and this man caught me. So, when I woke up I knew that, God, heard my prayers and I knew that He had me in his arms.
Is Worship Prayer?
Myrna – But you weren’t really worshiping right? You were just praying to God.
Tricie – I want to go into that. It’s a higher place of, Worship. Most people when they think of the word, Worship, that is maybe lifting your hands or singing a song or maybe just having a moment with the Lord.But I want to challenge everybody to know that, worship, is spilled over into every part of your life. It includes everything we do from the time we wake up to the time we go to Sleep. That’s where the idea for the name “A Higher Place of Worship” came from.
That’s the foundation message of my book. Our, worship, should spill over into our prayer life. It should go over into maintaining a relationship with, God, outside of the church. During COVID-19, a lot of churches were closed, so how do we, worship? We have to find our place to, worship, wherever we are and that includes our homes.
Worship, includes reading the Word of God, it includes fasting, and listening to hear the voice of God. Worship, includes so many different areas in life. God, requires us to always have a mindset of, worship, wherever we are.
How to Worship
I have a chapter called a “Permanent Place of Worship”. There’s a section in there that talks about how to stay rooted and grounded in, God, no matter what’s going on around you. This book could be for anybody. It could be for someone just starting out as a Christian believer, it could be for someone who’s been saved for a long time and has been in church for some years, and it’s definitely for the skeptics. I want it to be for the skeptics that may not know if, God, is real so that they can experience the, God, of the Bible – the Supernatural, God, of the Bible.
I have a lot of supernatural experiences and testimonies in the book, so that people can know that, God, is still a, Supernatural God.
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A particular section is called “Mindful Worship” – how, worship, can spill over into every area of our minds. We should, worship. the Lord with our minds because the scripture says that we should love the Lord our God with all our hearts, with all our souls and with all our minds.
Changing the channel – Mindful of our thoughts and change the channel we’re experiencing negative thoughts. Negative thought patterns can be changed by changing the channel. When we feed on the word of, God, we can actually change the channel.
Renew our minds – God wants all of us to, worship. We’re worshiping him by the renewing of our minds. We are giving Him total control because where the mind goes, the body follows. So the thought originates in your mind, then it becomes an action. God. wants our actions to line up with His word. That’s why we should renew our minds with the word each day.
Use Worship to renew Our Minds
Myrna – That’s one of the reasons I named this podcast ‘Transform Your Mind’ because you know the Bible says be renewed by the transformation of your mind. You can’t do anything or achieve any kind of success whether it’s in a business, in your relationship, even your marriage. I have found that even transforming my mind in my marriage has made my marriage a little better.
Tricie – Anything that you need to do whether it’s worshiping God, using scriptures as your foundation, in your work or whatever, it all starts with your mindset. I want to challenge Christians and non-believers alike to take it a step further to kind of go out of the box to, worship, on a different level that you haven’t. A lot of Christians aren’t experiencing, God, on that level, because they’re not taking the time to do what it is that the Bible says to do. If you read the word of God on a regular basis and you practice it, you can experience, God, on a new level that you haven’t before, even if you’ve been in church for 30 years.
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Does Worship Give us Access to God?
Myrna – Why do you feel that when we, worship, it opens a path to access God?
Tricie – I believe, worship, gives us access to, God, because that’s the way we communicate with Him. That’s the way we interact with, God, that’s the way to have a relationship with Him.
Anytime you want to be close to someone, you have to make time to talk to them, you have to make time to learn about them, you have to make time to maintain that relationship.
It’s no different with God as it pertains to, worship. We’re supposed to keep that relationship with Him and, worship, Him on the level that we can experience Him. Worship, definitely brings access because, God, loves, worship. He wants us to, worship, Him. He’s our creator and He loves it when we make time for Him. He wants us to actually, worship, and praise Him. To enter His gate with thanksgiving and His courts with praise.
Is Faith different from Worship?
Myrna – What is the difference between, faith, and, worship? One of the things that I’ve learned in my walk with the Lord is that even if you, praise and worship, but you don’t have, faith, then nothing happens because, faith, is the communication language of God. So can you connect the dots for us between, faith and worship?
Tricie – Absolutely, there’s a scripture in Hebrews 11:
says without, faith, it’s impossible to please, God, and that He that comes to, God, must first believe that He is a Rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.
So, faith, is definitely a cornerstone of worshiping, God. If you don’t have, faith, you won’t be able to access any of the promises that He has for you. Faith, is definitely important. Probably I would say the number two thing.
Love is number one. The bible says that these three things,
Faith, Hope and Charity, but the greatest of these is charity.
So our love is definitely first; but, faith, is very important as well as number two.
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Myrna – What do you want someone that reads your book; “A Higher Place of Worship” walk away with when they finished the chapters and close the book?
Tricie – I want the listeners or the readers of my book to walk away with
A profound sense of getting back to the original blueprint of worship – where it all began without all the lights and the smoke during, praise and worship.
Without all the eyes, without everybody watching you, without your pastor actually seeing you raising your hands and when nobody’s there to see you pray when you have the microphone.
I want them to know that a real relationship with, Christ Jesus, is possible outside of church.
To walk away with knowing how to hear the voice of, God.
People to walk away knowing that when you access, God, through, worship, that your life won’t be the same.
No matter how long they’ve been with, God, in a relationship that they can have a more profound sense of knowing, because God is all-knowing. When you walk with Him, there are things that He can show you. I believe each day of your life as you live, no matter how old you are living there’s always room to grow in our relationship with, God.
Also, I want them to walk away knowing that they have access to God no matter who they are.
I want them to walk away knowing that, God, wants them to be stretched with, worship. They can actually get to a place that they never thought they could get. We are supposed to actually have a very intimate relationship with God. It’s not just for pastors or for teachers; it’s for all of us as believers.
We all can hear the voice of God. Yes, that’s what I want everyone to walk away with.
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That’s good and beautiful. The book is available on Amazon Kindle. I can be reached on Facebook at the remnant page of my ministry page. Also they can reach me at “Tricie Graham” on Facebook as well or either Triciegraham@yahoo.com.
I want to remind you to watch us on YouTube. To subscribe to the channel so that you can watch this program as well as listen to it. If you’re listening on iTunes. I would love you to post a review and to subscribe. I would also like to invite you guys to join my private Facebook group which is called “Life Coach”.
Is there, life after death,? One day Nancy Rynes was an, Atheist, not believing in God and after her NDE, she is bringing us, messages from Heaven. In this episode of the Transform Your Mind with coach Myrna, we are diving deep into the unknown world of, life after death, I am speaking today with Nancy Rynes. Nancy is the author of, Awakenings from the Light.. a book about her, near death experience, This episode will, transform your mind, on our spiritual bodies answer the question is there, life after death,?
Here is Nancy’s story:
• While riding her bicycle, Nancy Rynes was struck by a large SUV. The vehicle’s driver who was completely absorbed in texting, plowed into Nancy, dragging both her and her bike down the street. The driver who was unaware that she had struck anyone, finally came to a stop when horrified onlookers ran into the road blocking the vehicle.
• Suffering multiple broken bones, internal injuries, several severe spinal and head injuries, Rynes knew she was dying. At that moment, she underwent the first of two life-changing near-death experiences—her consciousness split between her frightened, injured self laying on the road, and an impartial, peaceful observer-consciousness who watched as first responders fought to keep her alive. Her second, more lengthy near-death experience came days later, during the surgery that attempted to repair her traumatized body.
• Nancy, a scientist and confirmed skeptic, was shown the wonders of Heaven, experiencing joy, love, peace and beauty on such a grand scale that she wept at its magnitude. She then met and spoke with a Being who gave her insights into life, love, and the wonders of Spirit. After her time in Heaven, and her brief, life after death, experience; Nancy was returned to her body to begin the long, slow process of recovering from injuries her surgeon affirms should have killed her.
• Topic Discussion: Is there, life after death, How an Atheist became a Believer.
Nancy let’s start off by asking you to share the events leading up to your, NDE, experience.
I was an, atheist, I was a scientist and I did a lot of science and technical writing up until the time of my, near death experience, I was at a place in my life, late 40s this was about five years ago. I was feeling as if something needed to change. I felt in a rut and I wanted to attribute that to maybe my job or maybe I needed to find a new place to live. I wanted to change something external. That’s where I found myself that late fall early winter of 2013 heading into 2014 when the accident happened. I wasn’t really a believer in anything other than the physical reality around us. My scientific training taught me that I needed to find evidence, physical evidence. It’s tough to measure the spiritual realm from here, on this physical plane of existence.
I won’t go into too much of the accident itself because that in and of itself can take up a lot of time; but I was as you mentioned in the intro, I was riding my bicycle and was struck by a woman who was texting. I had what I call a dual consciousness experience. During the accident itself where I was able to kind of see the accident happening from outside of my body; but at the same time I was in my body. Now in hindsight, I see that that was really what Deepak Chopra might have alluded to when he said consciousness is not located in the brain. My Higher Self or a higher state of my consciousness kind of pulled itself out of the physical body; but yet the physical body consciousness was still alive and well if you will inside my body and experiencing both.
The accident caused a lot of a lot of bone breaks as you mentioned in the intro,
I had a lot of damage to my spine and in the hospital it was determined that I would need surgery to repair my spine in order to be able to walk because it was kind of touch-and-go there for a while. It turned out that a couple of shards of my back bone had broken off and one of my vertebrae and was just like within a millimeter or two of cutting my spinal cord, so it was pretty close to for me to be a paraplegic. That’s why we agreed to go into surgery that following Monday. It was during the surgery actually that I had my, life after death, experience.
The surgeons gave me the anesthesia and apparently what happened is I had some kind of a reaction to the anesthesia and my heart rate stopped, my blood pressure went to zero, and my breathing stopped for a while. I was clinically dead.
I woke up not laying in the operating room in the hospital, but I woke up standing up. I was vertical standing up on a hillside in this beautiful kind of meadow.
To my left and right were these monstrous trees and they had what I call just an energy scintillating throughout them. In the distance, kind of below me were rows and rows of mountains with a beautiful kind of bright silvery blue mist kind of light going through everything. Then I realized I wasn’t just seeing stuff, I was feeling things, I was feeling what I call love unbelievable Love coming in through me. It felt like I was being embraced by the heavens. Divine love and it was powerful! I also felt along with that Love, a Peace that was unimaginable. I had never felt that before. Peace on a scale that you and I can’t imagine as humans.
I was connected to everything. I began to wonder if I’d died on the operating table.
Then this voice said to me “You are home. This is your home.” As soon as those words came through me, I knew instantly that it was truth. This was my spiritual home. This is where we go in, life after death, This was my home and I didn’t want to leave ever. I wants to rest in this unconditional love on a scale that humans can’t really grasp. We can grasp it as a spiritual being but as a human being it’s hard for
us to really wrap our brains around that kind of love.
I did not want to come back. I knew I had family and friends here but, I knew they would all be okay. But then a womanly figure came up to me and she said that she was my spiritual guide to this place and would teach me what I needed to know in order to come back to my life on earth. That’s when I said well, I don’t want to go back. I told her it’s going to be too hard, it’s going to be painful. My big fear was oh my God what happens if I’m in a wheelchair. She said well, you’ve already agreed to go back. I said I don’t remember agreeing to go back. She then showed me a movie in the air in front of me. She showed me my spirit before I was born into this life and body. My spiritual self, standing or appearing to stand with my spiritual team and I was agreeing to do certain things when I came here into this life and body and one of them was to have this accident to revisit my home in a, life after death, accident and then go back and bring some insights back from what I learned. Once again the truth hit me like a ton of bricks. I remembered, I did agree. I agreed to have this, life after death, experience and accident.
I listened to a podcast a few weeks in which Anita Moorjani told of her, life after death, experience. She was dying with stage 4 cancer and tumors all over her body. On the operating table she had her, life after death, experience and made the decision to come back into her body. When she came back out of that, life after death, experience in a couple of months all the tumors had shrunk and she is now alive and thriving cancer free!
In 2006, Anita Moorjani fell into a coma as my 4-year struggle with cancer was coming to an end. While doctors rushed to attend to my frail body, I entered into a near-death experience (NDE) where I discovered one of life’s greatest truths: Heaven is not a destination; it’s a state of READ ABOUT MY NDEbeing. When I regained consciousness, my cancer miraculously healed and I was free of disease within weeks! Since then, I’ve heeded the call to share this powerful story—and divine lesson—with the world.
I’ve talked to chaplains and ministers about this and they see this a lot with patients who had, near-death experiences, or, life after death, where they had some kind of incredible recovery. I call it being touched by heaven. My spiritual guide taught me a whole bunch of stuff which I put in my book “Awakenings in the Light”
Before she sent me back, she did what I call a healing of my energy or spiritual Body. I could feel this energy coming into me when she was doing this. She placed her hand over my throat area, my upper collarbone area, then over my left shoulder and then along my rib cage because I’d broken a ton of ribs. I think it was five or six ribs that were broken and then I had a punctured lung on that same side, so she put her hand over all of that and kind of did some energy work on me and then she sent me back. When I came back from my, near death experience, I healed so fast, the doctor freaked out.
I learned from my spiritual guide and my, life after death, experience is that she’s with me all the time and there is no separation between where you are in the physical and where we are in the spiritual. It’s just a different energy state and that everybody in the spiritual realm is around us all the time. I can when I do specific meditation techniques to communicate with her more consciously but she also guides me. I mean I know she has a hand in things that happen in my life because there are some things that happen in my life well it may be you know the bigger divine consciousness that we call God, but certainly someone or some being or some set of beings at that level has helped me out quite a bit.
I volunteered to bring this message, but I’m not by any means the only person just one of a team. Someone else’s may reach a different audience.
If you sign up for my newsletter on my website nancyrynes.com you get a free preview copy of my book “Awakenings from the light”
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In this week’s segment of the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, I teach on the topic how to Raise your Self Esteem by Erasing Self Doubt.
Self confidence and self esteem is the belief that you can accomplish any task or any goal.
Self doubt is the negative narrative that plays in your head. It is like PAC man. It is there to eat up your confidence
I was listening to a Ted talk YouTube video last week and the speaker was telling his story.
He said for 10 years he smoked crack when he woke up and before he went to bed. Hoping to numb the pain of living. He was a disappointment to his mother, his wife and his children. He felt worthless!
On his second trip to prison, he spent a total of 8 years in prison, his adopted mother had a heart attack and he was told she was not going to make it. He felt pretty low that this woman who he adopted him and loved his as her own and tried to give him a better life was now in the hospital, in a cold dark room and he was not there to offer her comfort. This was the first spark of change in him. Maybe he should do something with his life other than being a mess up.
When he got out of prison this time he decided to go to college. He was now a middle aged black man and he was in college with 20 year old white students. Never the less he did good and now looked forward for the accolades his teachers gave him because he was performing better than expected. He said that praise was now his new drug. He lived for his teachers praises. One day one of his teachers put an application for a job on his desk. He couldn’t believe it. His teacher had confidence in him, his teacher had confidence in his ability to do the job. The self confidence seedling inside him got water and grew a little. As his self confidence grew, his life changed. No longer was he a non contributing member to society, he was making a contribution. He now had a new family and 7 years after he was released from prison, he received his PHD in Physiology!
Self confidence doesn’t always come naturally. Sometimes you have to practice and practice until you build it. Sometimes it comes from your teachers or your parents.
So today I will share some tools to help you build up your self confidence and self esteem while starving the negative self talk. The negative talk that tells you, you are not good enough. You can never make it, you are not smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough.
But before we can get to the solution of anything or before we can get to anywhere on the map, we have to know how we got to where we are right now and pinpoint where we are.
For example. If you are at the mall and you are wanting to go to Macy’s department store you look at the map and it shows “You are here” if you want to get to Macy’s than you know you have to walk right or left.
It is the same way in life.
Statics show that we can shed a lot of light on how we got here on the map by looking at our childhood. You see parenting does not come
with a manual and some parents get it right; but most get it wrong.
Understanding your inner child is very important to unlocking the door of where you are on the map today.
You see when you came into the world you were totally dependent on someone else to care for you. Not just to feed you, bathe you, and to keep you warm but to love you, protect you and nurture you.
If whenever you cried your mother or caregiver came and picked you up and smiled at you and comforted you then you transformed that into the feeling of you are important.
If however when you cried you were ignored, then you formed the feeling that you are unwanted.
Even though you have no memory of being a baby, your heart and your internal computers have a record of everything. A hypnotist can go back and pull it out. That is the root of low self esteem and self doubt that is now an oak tree!
If today you are listening to me and you are experiencing low self esteem and self doubt or you don’t understand why you are not getting the results you want. Why you are here on the map and you can never get over there. I challenge you to do the work find out why.
I was watching Oprah Super Soul Sunday a few months ago and she had a guest who talked about going back to your childhood home in your mind and looking out the window. What do you see?
I did this exercise.
I grew up with a single mother and my grandmother in Guyana. Guyana is in South America. Our neighbors are Venezuela and Brazil.
We were very poor. Both my mother and grand mother were domestic servants.
I was the eldest of 4 children and we all lived in a room in a big house.
When I looked through the window of that room. I saw that even though I was poor, I had hope. I had love, I had friends, I was happy.
I saw that I had self confidence because I believed I was attractive. My dad told me so and I believed him.
I had self confidence because I believed I was intelligent. I did well in school. I was a B+ student.
I had self confidence because I knew I would get a good job when I left school. And I did. When I graduated from school, I got a job at the Ministry of Health. I was a payroll clerk paying all the doctors at Georgetown hospital.
I never lost my self confidence. If someone wanted to hurt me by calling me ugly, did nothing to me because I knew I was attractive.
If someone called me stupid, it did nothing to me because I knew I was intelligent.
That is why we have to have an internal lotus of control. You can’t let people steal your self confidence by telling you, “you are not good enough.” You are wonderfully made. As Joel Osteen says “We are all made like a fully loaded top of the line sports car” everything we need to be successful in life is preloaded at the factory. All we have to do is to read the manual!
I challenge you to go back to your childhood home in your mind and look through the window.
We lose self esteem because of a variety of reasons
• We were inadequately nurtured as children.
• We could have absorbed negative messages about ourselves and it still resides in the core of our beings.
• Self esteem is what you think and feel about yourself and not what others think and feel about you.
• How we feel about ourselves, is how we view the world.
To grow in self esteem is to expand our capacity for happiness.
The higher our self esteem the more equipped we are to handle life’s adversities.
The higher our self esteem the more ambitious we are not necessary in a career; but in forming healthy relationships and not repeating destructive patterns.
The higher our self esteem the more likely we are to form nourishing bonds with others.
Our external life is an indication of what is going on inside.
The art of raising our self esteem is a process your level of commitment determines how long raising your self esteem will take.
How to raise your self esteem by erasing self doubt
Some of us never got love from our parents; but we are now mothers. It is important to hug your kids often and tell them you love them. It is important to make your kids feel valuable.
But, even if you get no love from your parents, friends, lovers, you must love yourself. You can never give away what you don’t have. If you don’t love yourself you can’t love your children, you can’t love your husband.
How do you know if you love yourself?
Ask yourself these questions?
• Do I take care of myself?
• Do I make being healthy a priority?
• Am I stretching and challenging myself to be better than I am today?
• Am I living life with passion or am I just passing through?
If you answered No to any of these questions then you need to make some changes in your life before you get to 80 years old and realize that you never lived.
How do you erase self doubt?
By Thinking it, speaking it and doing it!
The weeds that take over the garden of your mind can only flourish if you are a bad gardener!
You have to protect your dreams by plucking up the weeds before they grow. They will come. Self doubt always comes; but you have to pluck them out by speaking of your goals and doing something to get you moving towards the place on the map you want to go.
That is why you have to know where you are so you won’t move in the opposite direction.
First Think it. There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so. William Shakespeare.
Rhonda brine of the secret says “What you think about you bring about”
Your thoughts affect your attitude, your self confidence, your mood, and there is a direct relationship to your thoughts and your experiences in life.
Remember when you were a kid and your parents would tell not to hang around Johnny or Jane? They did not know why; but they knew that if you kept company with Jonny or Jane, no good would come of you.
In the same way if you keep replaying negative emotions in your head such as fear, discontent, anger, jealousy, insecurities, blame etc then you will keep attracting more negative energy to your experience.
But if you are wanting that promotion and you see yourself in this new role and you are confident that you will get this promotion then you will. You might not get it at your first try but if you never give up it will be yours eventually; conversely, If you want this promotion; but you place road blocks in your path such as any and all negative thoughts then chances are you will never attract this reality into your experience.
When we think, our thoughts become like magnets and attract, and then attach to like thoughts. That is why it manifests in our life.
Nothing shows up in our life unless we attract it.
We have all seen the power of attraction in motion when if we have something bad happen to us at the beginning of the day, bad things keep on happening for the rest of the day.
So, it is very important to watch what you think.
Now let’s take a look at Speak it.
The spoken word is a powerful tool and by leveraging your voice you expand your dreams from internal thoughts to external possibilities, laying the ground work for divine purpose to manifest. Deepak Chopra
When you take your thoughts, which are formless and speak them into the atmosphere you give them form. This empowers them.
“Talk happiness; talk faith; talk health. Say you are well, and all will be well with you. God shall hear your words and make them true.” Ella Wheeler Wilcox
So, remember to speak it. Tell a friend or your coach of your intentions.
And lastly “just do it.” Nike made this phrase popular but it applies to more than athletics. Just do it. There will never be a better time than the present.
“He who waits to do a great deal of good at once will never do anything.”
― Samuel Johnson
So “just do it.” Think about something you have been thinking of doing for some time. Tell someone about it and then take the first step. It does not have to be a giant step. It could be as simple as doing research or taking that nice red Mercedes out for a test drive; but it will be a step in the right direction.
I hope my presentation was thought provoking. These are the principles I live by and I attract all that I want into my experience; so give it a try.
If you lack self confidence and would like to talk to a coach, I offer a 30 min Free strategy session to help you gain self confidence to achieve your goals.
Click this link to set up your Free Strategy Session
It is not how much money you have.
It is not how big your house is.
It is not what kind of car you drive.
It is not found in any external thing!
Here are 3 ways to find, happiness, after a divorce:
1. Your relationship with yourself.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you.
3. And your relationship with God.
Let’s look at each of these
As you can see, relationship is key.
We are social beings, we need connection, even it is one person.
That is why people commit suicide at Christmas, because while everyone is celebrating with family and friends they are alone.
It is also the reason that social media is so powerful, it allows connection to others.
I found out her story.
Raped twice when she was a teenager, sent to live with her father in another country who abandoned her, got pregnant and gave her child up for adoption. She was living in a studio apartment alone. Facebook was her lifeline. You don’t know who is on the other end of that friend request!
So if you are lonely, connect!
These are a different training and a different mindset to come from a perspective of abundance instead of lack and limitation, and that’s really where my internal work has been. Each time I shift up belief, a thought, a perspective from lack and limitation to one of abundance, my life just expands and explodes. You know what society says is this is accomplished, then you’ll feel successful and a lot of people get there, and they feel empty, they feel like that it doesn’t have much meaning in their lives or they’re not feeling satisfied or fulfilled. The truth is that as long as we’re chasing things outside of ourselves we’re always projecting our happiness or our fulfillment outside of ourselves. Fulfillment is never outside of ourselves, it’s within ourselves and it’s in the present moment. where all of our power exists.
1. Let’s look First at your relationship with yourself.
The first secret to finding happiness, You have to love yourself.
If you can’t love yourself, no one else can love you. If you can’t love yourself, you can never be happy!
You can start by finding one thing about you, that you love.
Come on, God knew what he was doing when he created you. Everyone has at least one thing that makes them stand out.
One of my daughter’s friend’s laments about the fact that she has no breasts and no curves. She can’t find a boyfriend. Why? Because she projects that and that is what the men see. Not loving herself shows up in other ways in a relationship.
Now look at some women who do not fit the cultural norm of beauty and weight. I can guaranty you that in every situation if she loves herself, she will be in a healthy relationship.
Plus, if there is something you can change about something you don’t like about yourself, do it.
If you can’t change it, find a different perspective on it and learn to love it.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you
A mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a best friend, a spouse are top on the list of level 5 intimate relationships. A level 5 relationship is a relationship with someone who knows your intimate secrets. Someone who you share everything with and they with you. If you have someone like this in your life. You are blessed indeed.
Now you may be wondering why I did not add children to that list. Children gives us profound happiness especially when they are young. But you can’t share secrets with your children so they don’t provide the intimacy we look for to be happy.
To be happy find a level 5 friend and cry on their shoulders!
3. And finally, your relationship with God.
The beauty of having a relationship with God is that it alone can make you happy. If you have a relationship with God, you will love yourself, you will be happy alone because you feel God’s presence with you always, your relationships will be healthy because you will love unconditionally because that is what God teaches us to do. You will find opportunities to bless others and that will make you happy.
A relationship with God is not just going to church, it is not just knowing scripture, it is not just about tithing. The relationship I am talking about is being in direct communication with God.
Going to God with your issues and struggles and seeing him make a way out of no way. Seeing him turn the weapons formed against you into blessings. Being able to receive guidance from the Holy Spirit every day. When you walk in that space everything else in your life falls into place.
You will not only find happiness again, but you will find bliss!
“If you have a tendency to despair over lost opportunities or if you worry about the future, ask yourself this question: “What is right in front of me?” In other words, what circumstances and relationships are currently available to you? This question can get your focus off a past regret or a scary future and back to what God can do in your life. What is God’s intention for your life, what is your, purpose, gifts and natural abilities?”
You may be at a crossroad in your life and want to change careers but you don’t know what you want to do. To find your purpose, ask yourself, what do I have in my hand? What are my gifts and natural abilities? Take inventory of your natural talents and abilities. What are you good at? What do you like to do? What have others told you that you are good at?
What did Walt Disney have in his hand when he was broke and out of a job? Answer.. he had in his hand the natural ability to Draw. That pointed him to his, purpose, of creating the “happiest place on earth”.
What did Nelson Mandela have in his hand when he was imprisoned for over 27 years in a small cell? Answer..he had the natural ability and gift to lead. His, purpose, was to lead his people out of Apartheid. God put in his hand the natural ability to forget self and work for justice for his people.
How did J.K Rowling find her, purpose? She was broke and a single parent with no support? She asked herself, How can I figure out what to do? Her answer.. she checked what she had in her hand, what was her gift and natural ability. She was an English teacher. She used her love and mastery of the English language to create a story in her mind and then put it to paper. The Harry Potter empire was born.
In my book “Out of the Snares” I share How I found my, purpose, by checking what I had in my hand. I had in my hand the ability to write and to tell a good story. I had a love of people and the compassion in my heart to want them to succeed, so I transitioned to becoming an Author and a Life coach.
If you are trying to find your, purpose, check what’s in your hand. What do you have in your hand that God gave you at birth to build his Kingdom?
Use what you have in your hand- You were created with a, purpose, God gave you the skills and talents you need to complete your task. Stop waiting for the right time.
Check out what Propel Women article said about finding out your, purpose, by referencing the bible story of Moses and how God used what was in his hand.
Stop asking when you are going to get your gifts or talents or calling and see what’s in your hand.
But there’s a bush that is burning and Moses’ life is about to get flipped upside down.
Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The Lord did not appear to you’?” Then the Lord said to him, “What is that in your hand?” “A staff,” he replied. The Lord said, “Throw it on the ground.” Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it.” [Ex. 4:1-3]
In Exodus chapter 3, Moses had many doubts and many fears. He came up with tons of excuses. But God asked Moses what was in his hand.
We know Moses has a shepherd’s staff in his hand, a dead thing. But then he laid it down and it became a snake. A dead thing became a living thing, and a dangerous thing at that. So dangerous in fact that Moses actually runs from it! God says to pick it again and it becomes a dead thing again.
Just like God told Moses, I believe God is telling people today to lay it down. Will you not lay down your identity? Many of us are defined by our job, our education, our financial status, or marital status. But Galatians 2:19 reminds us that, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” Yes, it’s no longer about me, but rather Christ who lives in me. God is saying, Let me be the one to give you identity. Find your identity in me.
Before we find our passion and, purpose, we must be willing to lay down our influence and recognition.
The recognition of man pales in comparison to what God has called us to. God is asking if you’re willing to lay down our dead things so he can make them come to life. Many people are living lives that are dead; it feels comfortable and safe and controllable.
But when God gives us a vision for our life like He did with Moses, we’re able to see the power God has for us, the purpose he promises us, and the plan he wants for us. It might scare us. Some might even want to run away from because it’s terrifying and they won’t know how to handle the amazing things God has for them.
Pick up your copy of “Out of the Snares” and understand the Biblical principles behind the story of Moses and the “Burning Bush”. Learn how our “Burning Bush” is our passion and natural talents.