How to Turn Adversity into Opportunity

Turning Adversity into Opportunity

Oleg Lougheed has a very interesting story of how he turned the, adversity, of his birth in Russia, living in an, orphanage, from 9 years old and then being adopted by an American family at 12 years old.

I love stories, right now I’m like almost addicted to Oprah’s master class, because all she does is ask these influencers and stars to share their story and it always starts with their childhood. Oprah spends an enormous amount of time on their childhood story, because your childhood is what shapes into the person you are today.

Listen to the full interview here:

 

Introduction to Oleg’s story of Adversity

The memories made in the first 12 years of my life were painted with shades of, poverty, loss, and a dim hope for a better life.
A hope that acted as my only survival method.
A hope that got me where I am today – 5,500 miles across the world – 5,500 miles between myself and the life I was destined to live.
I said goodbye to my birth Mother at the age of 12, not realizing that I would never see her again. I never met my Father.
I learned early on what alcoholism was, what starvation felt like, and what sacrifice meant.
For me, it took leaving the place I called home to find a better life in America.
It meant saying goodbye to my Mother, Sister, relatives, friends, and saying hello a new family and new friends.
At 12 years old, I was adopted from an, orphanage, in Chebarkul’, Russia to a family in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
Adoption, changed my life.
Adoption, opened a door into a new world and forced me to close the door to everything I had ever known.
I am here today to tell my story.
The story of how I overcame my own odds.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
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Turning Adversity into Opportunity

One of the reasons I love your story Oleg is because you’ve used your, adversity, to propel the, opportunity, you were given by being, adopted, by an American family.

Oleg says, adoption, changed his life which you know sometimes, adoption, is good and sometimes it does not take. I am also an adoptive mom so I can identify a little bit with your story.

I was born poor myself in, Guyana. I did not encounter starvation. or alcoholism and I was not, adopted; but my maternal aunt sponsored my mom and her three kids to move to Canada to live a better life.

My first question is, we’re your adoptive parents able to heal the pain you experienced the first 12 years of your life?

Oleg – Before I share about my, adoption, let me give you some context into my own background. I’d like to acknowledge the fact that stories do play a critical role, overcoming adversity. Everything revolves around the story we tell ourselves. Our internal dialog.

My world shifted from, adversity, to, opportunity, when I stopped being the victim. As you had mentioned being born in Russia and living there for the first 12 years of my life and having experienced quite a bit of difficulty and, adversity, and tragedy.

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The Mindset to see Opportunity

I began to realize I did not have the mindset that I have today. Back then I did not have the resources; I did not have the knowledge that is found in the book “Think and Grow Rich” and other great books.

So, for me it was about figuring out from day to day how to survive. It is funny that you mentioned Oprah because Oprah had a similar impact on my life. I once watched a video of Oprah sharing her story and there was a segment in that story where she spoke about her childhood and the trauma that she faced when she was a young girl.

One of the ways that she was able to, overcome adversity, was by believing in a better future or a brighter day. That is exactly how I survived as a child, by believing in a brighter future. Thinking of a brighter future, when I was nine years old, I was faced with the decision to either continue living with my mom and my sister or go and live in an, orphanage.

I chose to go live in an, orphanage, not realizing that meant not seeing my mom and sister again. I was adopted at 12 years old. I was able to come to the United States and hit the restart button. I think, adoption, has really helped me recognize that my life of, adversity, leading up to it was a dress rehearsal for the, opportunity, that lies ahead.

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Adoption as the stepping stone to Opportunity

After I was, adopted, I remember I was looking back upon my past and I lived in, victimhood. I lived in, victimhood, because I looked at all of those previous circumstances and asked, “why me.” I began to realize after a couple years that I could turnaround, adversity, into, opportunity.

That is when my life started to shift once again. I started my desire and passion for personal growth and personal development. Started seeing, opportunity. I did not just read books anymore I became a part of those books.

Myrna – My circle back question is “Do you feel that your, adoption, was Successful? Were you able to adapt to your new family and be not being able to see your birth mother?

Oleg – Before I fully answer that question, it’s important to identify what successful, adoption, means to me. One of the biggest reasons why I choose to look at my, adoption, experience as successful as my parents were and still are tremendous human beings. They never raised their hand on me, they’ve always kept an open mind and open heart regardless of what the situation and circumstances I presented as a teenager.

Teenage boys not all; but some do not always make the best decisions, especially those who had a painful past from, adversity;  but that is one of the beauties of my parents, even though we went through the ups and downs. We went through the multiple years of therapy both individually and collectively as a family. What really made this journey was beautiful that they continue to be there for me every step of the way.

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How Adoption changed my life

Myrna – It was an, opportunity, which is why we’re talking about turning, adversity, into, opportunity.

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Why you think, adoption, changed your life?

Oleg – For me, adoption, one of the changes in my life was because it gave me a second chance in life. It gave me another, opportunity, to live the life that I once upon a time dreamed of. After going through, adversity, from a very young age and then after the, adoption, I chose a different story.

I started to ask the question “what am I here to learn”? What is this, adversity, here to teach me? I started to pair each one of those, adversities, with a lesson or a takeaway. My perspective became completely different. I was no longer letting the circumstances define me; but rather I was looking at those circumstances as something that I can learn from to move forward.

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Reframing your adversity into opportunity

Oleg – I started to tap into purpose. I was able to approach that initial question of” why me”? through the lines of if not you then who. I started to experience this sense of energy that was flowing through me from the, adversity, of my birth. I asked myself, what do I channel this energy into? I wanted to create a space for people of similar experiences such as those who are, adopted, or have gone through the foster care system. Create just an open space for them to share their experiences to be able to embrace and accept all aspects of that journey.

I wanted to highlight all the, adoption, and foster care stories because, how can a prospective, adoptive parent, know of the other side if they’re only being presented with the side of the social worker.

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Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

When I started this, I received quite a bit of criticism, but I just started to create a space for people to write in comments or share their story. Eg my, adoption, was terrible because of x y z. I would just say “why tell me more.”

I was recently reading a book by David Goggins Can’t Hurt Me

Myrna – OMG I love that book!

Oleg – There’s a section in the book where he talks about judgment. Goggins says why judge anyone if you can still remember the feeling of being judged yourself. I started to realize that one of the reasons why I chose to not only respect myself; but respect those surrounding me is because in a way I’ve experienced what it was like to not be respected or
not be taken seriously.

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Overcoming the Odds the Podcast

Now have a podcast called “Overcoming the Odds” it is all about creating a space for other people who lived through, adversity, to be heard and to be seen and to be appreciated through their stories.

I am a huge believer of choosing to lead from within so if I haven’t experienced it myself, I’m probably not going to go into that area.

I am not going to speak from an experience that I haven’t gone through.

I remember when I was first starting to explore the possibility of having a Podcast, I listened to podcasts like the time Tim Ferris show, Lewis Howes School of Greatness and Tony Robbins podcast. I noticed that. many of the guests were Influencers or stars, I realized that I wanted to do something different.

I wanted to shine a light on humans because I truly do believe that every single person has value to offer to this world, not only those who have made it or are successful but those who turned, adversity, into, opportunity. Our society is only interested in the stars’ stories and podcasters are only interested in interviewing these stars because it builds their podcast.

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How can our listeners and those watching on YouTube connect with you?

Listeners can connect with me on Linkedin. That’s where I spend the majority of my time. Part of the work that we do is we host events that focus on different themes and elements of the personal narrative. Our event this January is called “Survive to Thrive Attitude of Gratitude”

It’s really about tapping into, gratitude, but not solely through the lens of who or what you are grateful for; but digs deeper.

You can also connect with me through our website “Overcoming Odds” and you’ll be able to find us through Facebook and other social media channels @oleglougheed

 

Conclusion

I want to remind you to subscribe on the Transform Your Mind YouTube channel. To listen to the full interview of my conversation with Oleg head over to iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts and remember to leave a review and subscribe.

I would like to also invite you to join my Facebook group called life coach. We have a lot of Life coaches in the group who share inspirational messages every day including myself.
Thank you
Until Next time Namaste

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Additional Resources

How to Become the Author of Your Life

 

Using Z-isms and Life Lessons for Personal Growth

Z-isms life lessons for personal growth

A, life lesson, can be defined as something from which useful knowledge or principles for, personal growth, can be learned. When I was growing up my grandmother had a lot of these, life lessons,  and principles. One of them was you can lead a horse to the water but you can’t make him drink!  Today we are going to be talking about, Z-isms.  If you don’t know what these are, download the audio.

Listen to the full episode here:

 

  • My guest today is Matt Zinman called a difference-maker,  devoted to personally enrich the lives of at least 100 million people by 2025. His new book, Z-isms: Insights to Live By” is based on his experiences as an entrepreneur, athlete, single parent, caregiver and nonprofit founder. Matt is also the host of “Insights to Live By,” a podcast that invites guests to share their own pearls of wisdom. In addition, Matt is CEO of The Internship Institute, which he established in 2007 to “Make Experience Matter.”
book Z-isms life lessons to live by
book Z-isms life lessons to live by

 

Introduction to Z-isms or life lessons

One of your, life lessons, is about, self-discovery, and mindset. So what are, Z-isms?

Matt – A, Z-ism, is a, life lesson, a filter in how it is that we experience the world around us.  One of the which is, mood, health. I think everyone recognizes that pessimism and optimism apply to the very same set of circumstances. If you’re having that kind of a down day you could just as well be seeing something differently than if you were having an up day; so recognizing where you are in your, mood,  health at any given time is one filter.

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Another principle of, life lessons, is  are you staying present or are you caught up in worry about the future. Maybe you’re worrying about something that isn’t certain to happen or you keep running something through your head that already happened that continues to just spiral and drag you down and change your, mood.

It’s important to recognize that you are in the, present moment, and grounding yourself in, gratitude, is very key. Then there’s perception itself and recognizing that you may not get it all right; but that is okay. We’re not all the best listeners all the time we could be distracted.

Gratitude is the best life lesson for Personal Growth

Myrna – A lot a lot of people start their mornings with a, gratitude meditation, because if you have, gratitude, for the smallest number of things then it is good. It doesn’t have to be that your dream job or dream relationship is happening.  We all have goals and we all have dreams. You might be depressed because you’re not where you want to be in life; but if you can just be, grateful, for what you have now, then you are enhancing your, personal growth.

Louise Hay has a, gratitude meditation, on YouTube that I do a few times per week.

It’s really basic being, grateful, that you have electricity, that you have a stove that you can cook on, gratitude, that you have indoor plumbing! Etc. There’s so many things that we can be, grateful, for.

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Matt – Your point about, gratitude, is so spot-on right we hear about it so much and there’s a reason that, gratitude, works. It’s really at that heart of life enrichment. It is the premier, life lesson.

If you do that, gratitude meditation, for just two minutes in the morning and before bed, for 30 days straight, I guarantee it will change your life.

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Beware of the Spiders life lesson

Myrna – Let’s talk about, spiders. One of your unusual topics in your book involves being aware of, spiders. You describe, spiders, as people who manipulate and drain others. Why did you call them, spiders, because I call those people leeches.  They suck you, what does, spiders, have to do with draining you?  Tell me the concept there?

Matt – Spiders, do have quite a bite.  If you really take inventory of the people who were in your orbit, it’s pretty easy to go down that list and recognize that person we choose to be vulnerable with. We don’t want to put energy into always having to be on guard.

It takes a lot more energy to be devious than it does to be oblivious. For the, spider, they must remember their lies. When you’re living the life of a manipulator or devious person, it doesn’t come naturally you’ve got to plan it out.

You really need to tune into your Spidey senses  to recognize that someone is trying to get you to do something you prefer not to do; but they know you can’t say no. We talked about people pleasers. They are the perfect person for the, spider, to manipulate.

Myrna – So you call them, spiders, because they suck, they’re devious and  because they weave webs and  set traps, understood.

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Matt – Spiders, are also energy vampires, very needy people who are always around wanting your time and energy.

You really need to take a closer look at that person and decide whether they belong in your inner circle. A, spider, is going to spin a web and set traps for you.

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What kind of, z-isms, or , life lessons, do you coach?

Matt – I usually start with teaching, self-kindness.  It comes back to valuing yourself and if you value yourself first, the rest comes naturally. Relying on that guiding principle around, self-kindness, you just cannot go wrong.

Self-kindness, is the is the escape hatch when you are caught in the, spider, web. If you get yourself caught in a, spider, web and you’re being manipulated, if think of yourself and think about the wars that you’ve won and you feel, gratitude,  or all these things can power you to change the situation.

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Conclusion Z-isms Life Lessons

Myrna –  What can readers get from the book after they’ve read it?

Matt – I want my readers to understand earned confidence and become aware of, spiders, and things around them

  • energy management,
  • entrepreneurship,
  • concepts around inevitability to a degree the law of attraction
  • and gratitude in life.

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Carol and Aimy each have unique experiences and even though they have reached their goals, they are still dreaming while being relatively young busy moms. Join them on their journey. Check out the Two Ten Podcast on Buzzsprout.com

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TuneIn Radio

 

Whether you believe in the law of attraction or not, it has less to do with it as it does acting on things that come your way.

I tell personal stories throughout the book on the, life lessons, I have learned that I think will resonate with readers.

Additional Resources

7 Strategies to Personal Growth

How to Become the Author of Your Life

Be the Author of Your Life

We are the, author, of our lives. When we were born we had an beginning page and an end page.  It is up to us to, author, and fill in the pages in-between. We are the, author, of the script, the director and the producer of our lives. Life by design, is what I teach as a, life coach. And I think that one of the first things that we can do is if we understand the power of self-amplifying feedback loops, the way our spaces influence our thinking and our thinking in turn influences our spaces.  We could then control what happens to us by exercising creative control over the circumstances that we throw ourselves into.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Introduction to Life by Design

There’s always going to be the wild card. There’s always going to be the circumstances you can’t plan for; but, life by design, is the concept that we can use our thoughts and the, law of attraction, to bring to us all that we desire.  There’s always the unexpected relevance and the, serendipity. But just like that book The Power of Pull talks about, we can funnel the, serendipity, or we can channel the, serendipity, funnel. We can help engender and engineer serendipity by the choices that we make every moment, and live a, life by design.

  • We all have experienced the, serendipity, of relevant information arriving just when we were least expecting it.

  • It was only through pure, serendipity, that I met my best friend!

  • Your chances of finding such a feature are down to either extremely assiduous trawling or mere, serendipity.

So by cultivating rich social networks, by cultivating weak ties, not just closed ties but the weak ties, by becoming connectors and by connecting others so that they connect us, we create a world in which these self-amplifying feedback loops feed on top of each other. So good circumstances lead to other good circumstances which lead to other good circumstances and each one of them encourages us to then live more openly and participate in that sort of creative flow space. Live a, life by design.

Be the, author, of your own self-help book, I just really believe that our creative choices ultimately shape who we become and so we should all be discerning and be radically open whenever possible and I think that we really can make a masterpiece out of our own lives if we so choose. But that requires, it requires a boldness of character as well, because seeing the radical freedom to live a, life by design. We have to compose our lives, what Leary called internal freedom.

The vertigo of freedom, this dizzying – what do I do? I can do anything? Well, the paradox of too much choice. But I think we can embrace that with courage and with boldness, and once we do, there’s nothing we can’t do but, author, the life we want.

Author of our Own Lives

As the, author, of our own lives we can begin by taking control of our own lives. This  requires recognizing that while family or social circumstances influence our character, they do not determine it absolutely. The same is true of the most basic instincts that come from our heredity and bodily constitution. These instinctive ways of acting can be molded and guided by the exercise of a will that heeds the dictates of a well-formed reason.

Our personality is forged to the extent that we make free decisions, since our actions not only alter our environment but also shape our way of being. Although at times we aren’t fully aware of it, the repetition of acts leads us to acquire particular customs or attitudes in facing reality. Therefore when we explain the reason for our spontaneous reactions, rather than saying “that’s the way I am,” we should often admit: “that’s the way I have made myself.”

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iHeart Radio

Our lives are conditioned by factors that are often difficult to control: for example, the quality of family relationships, the social environment in which we grow up, an illness that limits us in one way or another, etc. Although often we are unable to ignore or undo these limitations, we can certainly change our attitude in confronting them, especially if we are aware that nothing escapes God’s provident care. “It is important to keep reminding ourselves that Jesus did not address himself to a privileged set of people; he came to reveal the universal love of God to us. God loves all mankind, and he wants all to love him.  God is also the, author, and finisher of our lives. In any situation, even one that entails great limitations, we can offer God and our neighbors deeds of love, no matter how small these may seem. Who knows how great the value is of a smile in the midst of tribulation, of suffering offered to our Lord in union with the Cross, of patiently accepting small annoyances and setbacks! Nothing can quench a limitless love, a love stronger than suffering, loneliness, abandonment, betrayal, slander, physical and moral suffering, and even death itself.

Additional resources

How to be Happy with Less

How to Fly like an Eagle above the Storms of Life

 

Does Serving a Prison Sentence Affect Change?

Does Prison reform?

Does serving a, prison, sentence change your outlook in life?  Rocky Singh Kandola talks to us today on the subjects of,  rape, child abuse, prison, physical assault, and more.

Listen to the full interview here:

Rocky Singh Kandola is a 33 year old successful Indian businessman born in New York City and currently living in Los Angeles. Rocky owns a showroom in a high traffic area in the downtown area of Los Angeles. He says “I am both a felon and a Philosophy Graduate”   Rocky spent his “high school” life in 9 different facilities and, boot camps, around the world, some of which are now closed due to severe, child abuse, rape, and torture. He have almost died at least 8 times. Half of his face and jaw are fake from an attempted murder on his life. He’s been shot, stabbed, kidnapped, and kicked in the face resulting in over 20 major surgeries in his adult life.

How did Rocky end up in Prison

Myrna – Can you tell us your story of what led to you being, incarcerated.

Rocky – I spent a lot of time in different facilities and, boot camps, across the world at a young age.  My father was a very traditional Indian parent. Indian kids were supposed to stay home, study and get straight A’s. I was not that kid, I was a lot more outspoken. I was wild and carefree.  I wanted to be out and about and party with friends so me and my father bumped heads often.

I was sent to my first worldwide association of specialty program, boot camp, at age 15. Paris Hilton recently shed a lot of light on these, child abuse, boots camps, in her documentary.

Myrna – Oh my gosh, I saw her documentary.

Rocky – I went to one of the, boot camps, that were outside of the U.S, this one was in Mexico.  Keep in mind these are for-profit businesses that operate in very manipulative ways towards the parents as well as towards the children in order to further their business.

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Life in Boot Camps

My parents didn’t really know about the trauma the, child abuse, the, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or the, mental abuse, that was going on at these, boot camps.  They would tell the parents your kids are going to manipulate you.  They’re going to lie to you, don’t listen to them.  Our communication was controlled, we weren’t allowed to write or talk call home.

These, group homes,  boot camps, very regimented.  As soon as you walked in, your hair is shaved, you’re sleeping on the ground for 10 days,  you’re screamed at, or you’re beaten, and yelled at.  Forced to lay in positions on your stomach with  your chin on the ground and your hands and feet tied behind your back for hours.

You’re forced to wake up at 2 am o’clock in the middle of the night and go outside and stand in the rain and count the rain. These, group homes, boot camps, did all kinds of cruel mental games to brainwash and break a child.  It’s not hard to break a child especially at that age.

I learned to adapt and to work the system and I used that knowledge when I was in, prison. I would go into these, group homes, boot camps, every six months of my life, then go home, raise hell and be sent to another, group home, 6 months later.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

Did life in these book camps train you for Prison?

Myrna – What did you get arrested for and sent to, prison?

Rocky – The, prison, thing came about because I was selling drugs and doing everything from robbing, stealing,  breaking into cars. I started getting into heavier drugs until the federal government and the state local police set up a sting operation. This task force followed me around for quite a bit of time and got me to sell narcotics to an undercover agent.

I was arrested and charged with distribution. I was sentenced to  seven to nine years in, prison.

Prison, was very scary place; but after a few months, I got out I kind of got back in the same lifestyle.  I’m not really the type person you can scare or punish into changing.

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Does a prison sentence reform the inmate?

Myrna – You were in, prison, I think you said for seven or eight years and then you said that when you came out of, prison, you went back into the same lifestyle.  What you think, prison, did for you if anything?

Rocky – I was in prison for about two years,  in jail for a year then rehab for another year.

I learned so much in, prison.  There’s people going to, prison, with different attitudes, different crimes. I  went in there as an adaptable chameleon.  I’ve been institutionalized since I was 11, so I knew it was gonna be another institution.  I knew there were certain things I had to learn like how to navigate between judges and counselors and convicts and inmates.

I didn’t really have any troubles, I had a pretty decent level of respect for, prison. People were curious about me, why was I in prison in Alabama? What was this Indian kid doing in a, prison, in Alabama?

On top of that I spoke Spanish and I played basketball, so it was very easy to transfer between a lot of race wars in an Alabama, prison. It was easy to go between White and Black and Mexican inmates.

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Selling Drugs in Prison

I quickly developed a sense of wanting to help, so I started writing motions for people in, prison.  Most inmates didn’t know how to read and write. But in spite of wanting to help and do good, I quickly got back into selling drugs in, prison.

Myrna – How do you sell drugs in, prison?

Rocky – There are certain areas in, prison,  you meet someone that’s for lack of a better term gay and they’re happy putting substances inside of their butt area and they would sneak in drugs for you. They would then clean it out, put it in a certain area, tell you where it is and you go pick it up. I then go bag it up and then redistribute it.

It’s a whole different world inside, prisons. I am smiling now but looking back it was  nerve-wracking and very scary, because if you get caught, you’re in big trouble. Outside of that I liked the time I had to myself in, prison. I read books and journal and make a plan for my life.

I started plans for my business plan in, prison.

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Planning your life while inside Prison

When you take your time while you’re in, prison,  to really set goals and set a future up for yourself, when you get out of, prison, you’re already a step ahead versus the person who just

closed their eyes and did their time in, prison.

It’s such an important thing planning and preparing and framing your mind for when you leave, prison. I’ve learned in my life from, sexual abuse, physical abuse,  in , boot camps,  and being beaten in, jail.

Myrna – You have to change your mindset, that is why this the show is called the Transform your Mind podcast. The system feels that when they, incarcerate, people, they felt punishing them by sending them to, prison, or, jail, for a couple of years that they will reform them and change behaviors. But like you said you can go to, prison,  and get worse because drugs are still selling in, prison.

You send someone in there who’s innocent and they come out worse than when they went  in, or you can go to, prison,  and you can get your GED.  Some go to, prison, and had such a horrible time in there that they vow never to go back to, prison.

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Statistics of repeat offenders Recidivism to prison

Myrna – What is the statistics of how many people reform from being sent to, prison, and the percentage of those who are repeat offenders?

Rocky –  I believe our, recidivism, rate in America is close to 70 percent. I went back to, jail, twice after my release from, prison, twice for about a month. The system to be truthful is

almost designed for, recidivism, to make you mess up, so you can go right back to, prison, and serve more time.

Myrna- I would say that you were lucky that your father sent you to India and you used that opportunity to start your hair business. Tell us about your business.

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Planning a successful business from Prison

Rocky – I started my business plan from , prison. Then when I was in India after I left, prison, I had time to meet manufacturers, go to the small markets where they’re selling hair and really do a lot of research. Everything happens for a reason.  I never thought I’d be in India after, prison.  While I was there and everything started falling into place. Within a week I had the name for my business, paid for the domain and then made a Facebook post. I had the ability to learn from an Indian perspective about the manufacturing side before I learned about marketing in the U.S.

Myrna – How can listeners contact you and support your business?

Rocky – My main website and personal blog is hair made https://www.rockykandola.com/

And https://hairmaidenindia.com

You will find links there to all my past podcast episodes.  You’ll have all the businesses that I currently run, from my hair company, to my Tea company, to my vacation rental property company in Florida.

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Conclusion

In closing I want to remind you to subscribe to the Transform your Mind Podcast YouTube channel or iTunes and please rate and review our podcast.

I would also like to invite you to join my private Facebook group called life coach, we have a lot of life Coaches with daily inspirational messages.

 

Additional Resources

Reflection 4 Rejection: Surviving My Mothers Abandonment and Abuse

 

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

How to Change Core Beliefs

 

Do you know that your, core beliefs, affect everything you do in life? Well it’s true.  What you believe is how you show up in every circumstance in your life.

Listen to full interview here: 

For example: Do you consistently find yourself in situations where men are trying to bully you or treat you less than you are worth? It may because of a, core belief, that started with how your father treated your mother or even you.

Introduction Core Beliefs 

Your, core belief, could be that you are a victim and that belief keeps you trapped in that story.

The thing about a, core belief, is that it cannot be easily changed.

Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:

“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in, core beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this, core belief cost you pain in the past, but it’s costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.”

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

We all have existing, core beliefs, in four areas:

  • How we feel love,
  • our self-worth,
  • how we feel security, and
  • fulfillment.
  • Life after death. 

Your, core beliefs, can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one, like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness to help you achieve any goal. 

Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs 

A, positive core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:

  • I am loving and lovable.
  • I am worthy.
  • I am safe and trusting.
  • I am fulfilled and whole.

The bible teaches that for God to answer prayer you must first believe and have faith that God is first able and willing to give you the desires of your heart; but there are ways to improve the chances that God will answer your prayer. A prayer is a special kind of intention or, core belief.  Therefore, the rules that apply to the,  Power of intentions, which are rules about consciousness, apply.

Your prayer will be answered, or not, depending on events happening out of sight – but not out of mind. The mind furnishes the mechanics of making any intention come true. An intention or prayer request, sent to God needs faith to rocket it to the heavens. An intention to graduate at the top of your class or to marry the man of your dreams takes focus, diligence and action. The bible also teaches “Faith  Without Works Is Dead”.

Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief? 

If you have not found love even after several tries, then you have to look deeply at what you are doing to push love away.  Do you have a, core belief, that you are unlovable? How much pain is that belief causing you? It will take a lot of work; but you have to believe that God’s light shines in you and that you deserving of love and happiness.

Do you feel empty inside all the time even though you have all the outward symbols of success like a nice home, a loving husband, a good job, 2 kids and a dog? Then your, core belief, could be that you need to make a contribution to the world like Mother Theresa or like Nelson Mandela to feel fulfilled. You have to change that, core belief, that maybe your purpose is to support your children and help them to fulfill their purpose in the world.  Sometimes our role in God’s kingdom is not to change the world but to change one person!

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Here is A Self-Awareness Exercise to help you understand Your, Core Beliefs,

Look upon what’s happening now in your life as a reflection of your, core beliefs.

Are there any patterns you see? For example:

  • Do all your relationships fail?
  • Are you in constant debt?
  • Do you find it hard to keep friends?

Listen to yourself. Once you figure it out, then turn it around. Ask yourself:

  • What do I want?
  • What would I have to believe in order to have this?

Next, you’re going to re-program yourself.

You may need the help of a coach like, Myrna Young, or mentor but; self-awareness is the key to changing your, core beliefs,

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

As Tony Robbins says, you must associate tremendous pleasure to your new, core belief,  For example. See yourself in a loving and fulfilling relationship, going on dream vacations and having a wonderful life together and believe that you are a woman any man can love!

Additional resources:

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/challenging-automatic-thoughts-positive-thoughts-worksheets/

Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept

Self-concept refers to how one perceives themselves, their past experiences, their abilities, their prospects for the future, and any other aspect of the self. Aaron Beck’s cognitive triad, discussed below, deals with self-concept and the construction of the self. The basic idea of how our self-concepts and cognitive biases affect our lives has to do with automatic thoughts.

For example, someone with a negative “self-referential schema” is more likely to take things personally, leading to automatic thoughts like “People are not talking to me because I am an unlikable person”, rather than exploring other possibilities (Disner et al., 2017). A negative self-referential schema can also lead to increased severity of depression symptoms. Most importantly, a negative self-concept can lead to an unending cycle of negative thoughts.

This is because people with negative self-referential schemas exhibit an attentional bias. For example, when asked to decide whether an adjective is self-referential or not, people with depression are more likely to endorse negative adjectives than healthy controls, and they show an attentional bias by being quicker to endorse negative adjectives and quicker to reject positive adjectives than healthy controls (Disner et al., 2017). In turn, being likelier to endorse negative adjectives is correlated with longer “retrospectively reported” depressive episodes, demonstrating the cycle of negativity.

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

infinite possibility

In the world of, Quantum physics, it was discovered that matter can be both a particle and a wave. That everything exists in the wave format, infinite possibility,  until it is observed. So to live in, infinite possibility, is to know that you have a, vortex, of un-manifested possibility waiting to become your reality. 

In this episode Life coach Myrna Young teaches on living in the state of, infinite possibility. Quantum physics, tells us that until something is observed, it is in the form on the infinite.

Listen to the full interview here: 

Introduction 

Observation turns the wave, infinite possibility,  into a particle.

Let me explain:  when we are born we have, infinite possibilities. We were all born with a purpose and the talent to fulfill that purpose.  God said

“ I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

But God also gave us free will, which means that we got to choose which road we wanted to take in life. Either towards our purpose or away from it.

As a kid we dreamed big, we lived in the state of, infinite possibility,  We wanted to become doctors and lawyers, firemen and policemen, scientists and movie stars. Our future was a wave full of, infinite possibility.  Them someone told us, we were not good at math, so we could never become a doctor or a scientist; because you have to be good at math to become a doctor, so that un-manifested possibility that was in your, vortex, is no longer. 

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TuneIn Radio

Your, Vortex, represents your Law of Attraction 

The wave, infinite possibility,  is now observed and has become a particle. Regardless if that statement is true or not, it is now your reality, because perception is reality. You now no longer want to be a doctor or scientist; but think about maybe becoming a nurse or Art teacher because you don’t need to know math. 

I once interviewed Ilona Selke the author of the book “Dream Big, the Universe is listening”. She writes whatever you set your intention to, the universe conspires to bring it to you. That is called the Law of Attraction. If you missed that episode Download that episode now on iTunes now, or any of the podcast players.

Dr Martin Luther King Jr, I have a dream speech sees the, infinite possibility, of race

I love Dr Martin Luther King Jr. and his I have a dream speech. As a pastor and man of God, Dr King lived in the, infinite possibility, that this country would treat a man based on his character, and not the color of his skin. That possibility still exists today but it is still un-manifested in our, vortex. 

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

So in this episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to remind you that You are the Universe apply the Law of Divine Oneness to your Life. You are made up of the same matter as the stars and the Ether. You are an infinite being with, infinite possibilities,. Do not limit yourself, because as soon as you make that observation, you become limited to what your flesh could do.

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As James Allen said, As a man thinketh so is he. You become what you think about, so think as a wave and embrace the, infinite possibilities, of your life.

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Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/

 
 

How to Communicate with your Guardian Angel

Guardian Archangel Michael

We all have at least one, Guardian Angel, assigned to us and they have two jobs; one is to love us unconditionally and the other is to get us to our predetermined expiration date. 

In today’s episode of the”Transform your Mind, to Transform your Life podcast, I interview, Keith Leon S.  Keith Leon S, is a multiple best-selling author, publisher and speaker who is well known as the book Guy.   His life purpose book called “Walking with my Angels” is  a true story with the foreword written by “Chicken Soup for the Soul” Jack Canfield.   Keith has appeared in numerous popular radio and television broadcast and his works have been covered by Ink magazine, LA Weekly, The Huffington Post,  and Succeed magazine just to name a few. Keith has spoken at events that included Jack Canfield, Bob Proctor, Neale Donald Walsch, Barbara DeAngelis, Dr. John GrayDr. Michael Beckwith, and Marianna Williamson.

Listen to the full interview here:

Keith also loves introducing people to their inner guidance system whom he calls heavenly helpers. Keith can you introduce us to your story. 

Keith’s story of his Guardian Angel

Well it’s the story of my life and how many times my, Guardian Angel,  intervened to keep me on the planet.  I should have died eight times already and miracles has kept me alive. These miracles happened when I was a child and, so even from childhood I had this question.   What was so great about me that I would be saved and so many people were not. What am I here to do that is so grand that miracles keep happening to keep me on the planet?  

It wasn’t until my early 20’s that I actually received the answer to that question.  I received that answer from my, earth bound Angel. My, earth bound Angel, John appeared to me as a man;  but was really my, earthbound  Angel, and told me that his job was to take me from,

“Believing in nothing to believing in  Everything”

He performed,  miracles, just to get me to open my mind and believe in him and believe that all things are possible. He  eventually did reveal my life purpose to me in a very specific way. He told me at one point he would saved my life and once he did that I would have to let him go because then he would be off to help another person.  

One of the lessons he taught me, was he took me  into a cave that was pitch black and taught me to trust even when I can’t see anything in front of me.  

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Guardian Angels and Its a Wonderful Life Movie

That part of your story reminded me of the movie a Wonderful Life. 

I also read the book “A Peaceful Warrior. ”  After reading that book I thought that the author had followed me around.  It was exactly my story! I actually had to omit a lot of things from my book  because there were the same as the author described. 

I thought he must have followed me around with the pen and paper. The story was exactly like mine. I really feel like it’s the same angel!  So I actually had to omit a lot of things from my story because his experience was almost the same as mine.

You started talking to angels when you were like eight years old or younger and you talked about the times in your life’s when your, Guardian Angel, saved your life or warned you of danger. I specifically remember in your book, the time when this man on the street asked you to touch his penis and your, guardian angel, told you to run and shout for your mom.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

How did you know you were talking to your, Guardian Angel, and  not a voice in your head, because we all have about 5 voices in our head?

When I was a child my, Guardian Angel,  voice came from outside of me.  His voice would come from different places. Sometimes would be up in the ceiling, sometimes in the corner, sometimes it  would be behind me or to my left, sometimes my right, sometimes right in front of me.

Because I was a child, I feel that if my, Guardian Angel, voice came from inside my head, then I would be doubting myself and questioning myself.  But because it was outside of me and I could hear it audibly, just like I hear you talking to me right now, then I was sure the voice was my, Guardian Angel.

I just learned pretty quickly that when I do what my, Guardian Angel, tells me to do, everything goes just great.

Tell us about your, Earth bound Angel, you called him John in your book.

You said the John your, earth bound Angel, told you your purpose.  You said you didn’t understand why you were so special before John showed up.

 

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Does everyone have a, Guardian Angel?

Everyone has at least one, Guardian Angel, assigned to them.  They just don’t know it. Like my mom. She thought she had mother’s intuition.  That’s what she called it; but she was being guided by her, Guardian Angel. She would say, don’t go out and ride that skateboard,  you will get a fractured wrist,  and I’d be like  yeah  mama leave me alone.  I’d go ride that skateboard and fractured my wrist.

There was even a point where my, Guardian Angel, advised her at a time when she was manic depressive. There was a time when my mom was really depressed and she just decided that she was gonna kill herself and me and my sister. So she closed all the windows and turned the gas on in the house and a voice told her “you can’t do that,  open the windows and turn off the gas.”  She didn’t listen and the voice became louder.  “YOU CANNOT DO THAT, OPEN THE WINDOWS AND TURN OFF THE GAS.” She said the voice sounded like GOD, she freaked out and turned off the gas and opened the windows.

She didn’t tell me this story until much later when she was on her deathbed and  I was telling her that I should have died seven times already and my, Guardian Angel, saved me and she added oh yeah it should be eight times!

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We all have at least one, Guardian Angel, assigned to us and they have two jobs one is to:

  • To love you unconditionally, so they like your mom, there’s nothing you could do that would make them love you less.
  • To just get you to your predetermined expiration date. There’s a time that you’re here on the earth, and they have to get you to that date.  So whenever you avoid  an accident or any danger your, Guardian Angel, is intervening to get you to your predetermined expiration date.  In the meanwhile they’re standing by going oh my God, I could do so much more for you; but because you have free will they cannot do any more than those two things unless you invite them to do more.
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Here is how you invite your, Guardian Angel,  to do more for you

First of all say thanks a lot for keeping me safe.  I’m inviting you to show up for me. If you’d like to show yourself physically to me that’s okay too. If you want to have it where I ask a question and I go out to the car and the next song that comes on the radio is the exact answer, great.  However you want to show up now that I have invited you, I will pay attention.

What is the message that like your readers to take away about, Guardian Angels, from your book “Walking with Angels”

I wanted to share with everyone in the world what I know is absolute truth and that is this.

You are directly connected to the source energy that created everything in this world.

I call it, Guardian Angels,  and you may call it intuition, our guidance system, energy, you may call it Source, God, Jehovah, Buddha.  I like to say it doesn’t care what you call it, as long as you call it!

So I’m called to share with you that if you’re willing to sit, ask, and listen, you will get guidance from your, Guardian Angel.

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Notice there’s just three instructions, sit, ask and listen.  A lot of people sit in meditation and prayer; but are asking the wrong questions. Any question that starts with Why is not a question that you want an answer to. Instead Ask, How can I be more loving?  What can I do to create more and attract more abundance into my life?

If you’re going to sit, ask and listen.  Listening being the most important of those three words. I just said we’re sitting and asking; but when do we really sit long enough to get the answer?  So if you listen, you can access the answer to any question that you have; because you are in direct communication with  the Creator.

Your words have power, and here’s what I want you to know.  You have more power within you than you’ll ever know.  You have more power in your little finger than you think you have in your whole entire body.  And so my book will show you all the ways that you may have been disconnected from your source.

It will share with you how to reopen the floodgates to start manifesting your dreams and your desires and to access the inner knowing that you have within you.

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What is the difference between a, Guardian Angel, and, Archangels,

Guardian Angels, like I said, we all have at least one assigned to us. They have a clear job.  To love you unconditionally and get you to your predetermined expiration date.  They’re like your buddy, they’re with you all the time.

Arc Angels, are  more famous Angels. Like, Archangel Michael. Arc Angels, are really great at specific things. People have been channeling them for years.

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Archangel Michael,  is the warrior who fights against Satan and his emissaries. The defender of those who love God. The protector of the people of God.

The, Archangel Michael, the ‘celestial warrior’, is the protector of swordsmen and masters of arms. His skills as a judger of souls have also made him the patron of all trades that involve the use of assessments, such as traders, pharmacists, pastry chefs. He is also patron saint of the Police.

Archangel Michael, is  the protector. You can say,  Archangel Michael, I’m going to see my mom every for Thanksgiving dinner.  Will you wrap your wings of protection around me right now and if anything negative comes at me energetically, let it bounce off your wings and hit the floor.  Because the, Archangel Michael, can be anyplace and anywhere, he can be doing that for me and be doing that for someone across the U.S and someone in Africa or  someone in India simultaneously.

You start with your, guardian angel,  and then you step up to the, Archangels.  So, Archangel Michael, can give support that would help me move forward.

Archangel Gabriel, is one of the spirits closest to God, before his heavenly throne, the one who revealed to Daniel the secrets of God’s plan, announced to Zechariah the birth of John the Baptist  and to Mary that of Jesus.

Archangel Gabrielle,  is the saint who opens doors for you.  Like a business and things that you want to manifest.

Archangel Raphael, stands before the throne of God , accompanied and protects Tobias in his perilous journey and healed his father from blindness and his future bride from the influence of evil.

If you found this content inspirational, please subscribe to the Transform your Mind podcast and post a review on iTunes.

Additional Resources, Archangels

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reprogram-your-unconscious-mind/

How to Stop Self Sabotaging Behavior

https://blog.myhelps.us/medical-intuitive-readings-what-your-spirit-is-telling-you-through-symptoms/

Angels

https://www.thecircle.com/us/magazin/life_and_destiny/archangel-gabriel.do

 

How to Apply, the Law of Divine Oneness, to your Life

law of divine oneness

We are extensions of source energy also called God or the Universe. The, Law of Divine Oneness, says we are all one with the, Universe. You may have heard the statement. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.  We are made up of a body, soul and spirit.

 

We came into this physical body with a purpose, and that is to grow and evolve. So we embarked on this game. We can call it the, game of life,  or we can call it the matrix!
We are living in a, matrix! And just like the, matrix, there are rules in how you play the game.

The Rules of the Law of Divine Oneness

The rules are the, laws of the Universe. The first Law we will discuss is, The Law of Divine Oneness.
If you are a bible scholar you will recognize lots of parallels between the, laws of the Universe, and the teachings of, Jesus.
Jesus, came into his physical body with the awareness that he was a subset of God or God incarnate in the flesh.  He understood, The Law of Divine Oneness.

We are also a subset of God, that is why man can command diseases to leave the body and perform the same miracles, Jesus, did in the earth. Jesus, most profound scripture tells us

“If we have the faith as small as a mustard seed, we can command the mountain to move into the sea.”

I bet you have never seen anyone do that in the natural, but in the, matrix, you can! In Higher consciousness you can. I have heard of monks elevating their bodies and travelling from one place to another.

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Universal Law, The Law of Divine Oneness

The Law of Divine Oneness, means that we are all connected to one source. Everything we do effects the collective consciousness of the entire, universe.
That is why when we contribute to others and in some way make their lives better, it gives us the highest joy. The bible teaches that it is better to give than to receive and that is because when we give, when we share what we have, it makes us feel good.
That is also why the word, Namaste, is so powerful. It means I see the divine in you. Put another way is, I see God’s light in you. We are all God’s children.

We all originated from one energy, called the source. The Law of Divine Oneness, Everything in this Universe is made up of energy. The bed you sleep in, the TV you watch, the rocks in your garden, the car you drive and most importantly your thoughts. This energy is vibrating in circular patterns.
Visualize a Ferris wheel. You start off at the bottom and circle to the top and then you are back to where you started. You can get off or you can continue circling in a continuous loop. This is the same as energy. It is circling and whatever we send out is what we will get back.

Even though every object or thing is made up of energy, this energy is vibrating at different frequencies for each thing or object. Your positive thoughts for instance are vibrating at the highest frequency, while your negative thoughts are vibrating at a lower frequency. Just like light envelops darkness, your positive feelings and emotions can eat up your negativity and bad feelings. So always look for the higher vibrations of positive thoughts and feelings.
Now we can take this further. If you attach the energy of emotion to your thoughts, it multiplies your energy. This leads to a quicker harvest or manifestation. Think of it as a super charged Ferris wheel spinning faster and faster!
Your emotions are a good indicator of the frequency you are vibrating. Learn to pay attention to your feelings, they are indications of what you are manifesting either consciously or unconsciously.
Whenever you feel depression, anxiety or trepidation, it is telling you that you are going in the opposite direction to your destiny.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Conclusion Law of Divine Oneness

Everything that exists seen and unseen are connected to each other, inseparable from each other to a field of, divine oneness.  Divine all knowing, the matrix, pure consciousness or universal mind energy, sometimes also known as Life Force or God.  Everything is one.

Increasing awareness of this law will increase our awareness of God and awareness of being connected to everything.  It is important for us as a human race to start realizing and understand this law.  As we do, we will realize that what we think of each other should only for good.  As we think of the good in others, they will in turn think of the good in you.  It is essential that the thoughts, feeling and actions be for good, for we “reap what we sow”.

As you gain a fuller understanding of the laws, you will see how they are all related and overlap each other and govern the world we live in.

Everything consists of, and exists as energy. Your subatomic particles aren’t fixed, in fact, particles may be flowing into and out of you now from: this page, the sky, the floor, your best friend and your worst enemy. In other words, there is no separation. How would you behave if you really knew that you were not separate from life, your friends, colleagues and every being that has ever existed? The answer is this – probably differently.

Today we discussed the first Law of the Universe, The Law of Divine Oneness . Tune in next week when I will teach on the second, Law of the Universe, for success – The law of vibration!
Until next time, Namaste

More links and resources:

https://youtu.be/EZd6vUd_APE

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-use-law-of-attraction-thrive/
https://blog.myhelps.us/the-power-of-the-seed-are-you-eating-your-seed-a-spiritual-life-and-leadership-blog/
https://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/display/librarydisplay.cgi?lid=784
https://lawsoftheuniverse.weebly.com/divine-oneness.html

How to Reprogram your Mind to Stop Binge Eating

Binge eating

When you develop, Binge Eating Disorder, you aren’t able to fight your desire for food. It’s like an addiction. It IS an addiction. Binge eating, and overeating and how that negatively affects your health until you learn how to reprogram your mind.  

My guest today is Dr. Glenn Livingston, author of “Never Binge Again” and our topic is “How to Reprogram Your Mind to stop, binge eating,”

Glenn Livingston PhD,  is a veteran psychologist and was the long-time CEO of a multi-million-dollar consulting firm which serviced several fortune 500 clients in the food industry.  Dr Glenn has sold over 30 million dollars of marketing consulting services over the course of his career.  You may have seen his previous work in major periodicals like the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Chicago sun-times, the Indiana Star Ledger, the New York Daily News, American demographics, or any of other major media outlets.

 Show Notes:

Dr. Glenn can you tell us what makes you uniquely qualified to comment on, binge eating disorder?

Well I’m not just a psychologist who wanted to work with people to help them lose weight;  I’m a guy who had a very serious, binge eating, problem myself.

I know what’s happening in the addiction treatment field that we’re being told that we’re powerless over the, food addiction, that it’s a disease. Binge eating, is 

An irresistible impulse that gets worse over time.

 

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

Here is Dr Glenn’s story on how He conquered, Binge Eating, 

I discovered a weird thing when I was a youth.  I’m 6’4” I’m reasonably muscular and I figured out when I was about 17, that if I worked out for two or three hours a day, I could eat whatever I wanted. So my diet was boxes of muffins, boxes of donuts, boxes of pizza, boxes of chocolate bars. I was eating six, seven, eight thousand calories a day and it was no problem.

 Well as you could figure out, I couldn’t continue, binge eating, like that as I got into my 20’s.

When I got to be about 22 or 23, married and in graduate school, I was commuting to school, I had all these responsibilities as a husband. I could barely work out two hours a week, much less two hours a day.  But I couldn’t get rid of the cravings for, junk food. I had a, food addiction, and  I started getting fatter and fatter.  My triglycerides went through the roof, and I had doctors telling me that I was going to die in my 30’s if I didn’t find stop, binge eating .

 I eventually figured it wasn’t what I was eating, it was what was eating me.  

I had been doing some reading in alternative, food  addiction, treatment by a guy named Jack Trimpey. He wrote a book called “Rational Recovery” and he made it clear to me for the first time that the seed of, food addiction, was really the, reptilian brain,.

 

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Binge Eating, Definition 

Binge eating, is  looking at food from the reptilian brain doesn’t know love.  We’re all we’re all busy trying to love ourselves out of these, food addictions; but the reptilian brain doesn’t know love. The reptilian brain assesses something in the environment and says, do I eat it or do I kill it! There’s no love there, there’s no concern for tribe or family or friends or long-term aspirations or creativity or music or art. There’s none of that.  It’s just eat, mate or kill, and when you look at the animal studies you see that is what happens when you short circuit the pleasure system. 

 You can walk a block in most cities and find a McDonald’s, a Burger King across the street.  There’s a fast-food restaurant on every corner these days. So we don’t have physical electrodes in our brain; but there are chemical electrodes and concentrations of pleasure that we weren’t prepared to meet by evolution.  

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binge eating disorder
binge eating disorder

Binge Eating, and what your choice of foods signifies:

  •  My research found was that people who struggled with, binge eating, chocolate was definitely lonely or brokenhearted.
  •  People who struggled with, binge eating, salty crunchy things, tended to be stressed at work people
  • People who struggled with, binge eating, soft chewy things like bread or bagels or pasta, tended to be stressed at home.

I found out from my mom, the reason I struggled, binge eating, chocolate.

  

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How to reprogram your mind to stop, binge eating.

 I tell people the best way to stop the, food addiction, and, binge eating, is to is to think of the single worst trigger food or eating behavior that’s getting you in trouble.

Maybe it’s eating in the car, maybe that’s where you do all the damage. Maybe you could create one rule that says: I never eat in the car or maybe it’s a particular food. e.g  I can only have salami on Sundays. Maybe it’s about how you eat, maybe it’s more like you need to pause and be more mindful.  e.g I’ll always put my fork down between bites.

If there’s something that you know is getting you into trouble,  binge eating, start with that one.

Binge Eating and the Reptilian Brain 

Don’t worry if making this rule will help you loose weight or not.  Unless your doctor says that it’s really urgent that you do, don’t worry about your weight.  I just want you to get the hang of the way this mental game is played, because that rule allows you to separate your thoughts from your, reptilian brain.

  •  Come up with a name for your, reptilian brain, I called mine my “pig”
  • Some people call theirs their food monster or food demon or something like that.
  • Then you want to listen for those destructive thoughts.  
  • You want to listen for what your inner food demon says is the rationale that you should break the plan with, binge eating, you can do one of two things when you hear it.
  •    You can ignore it, because it doesn’t matter how smart what is saying, it doesn’t matter how logical it sounds, if you know that it’s coming from your food demon, your pig, you now it’s bad.  So you might as well ignore it even if it sounds like it’s got a PhD from Harvard!
  • You could write out what the food demon is saying and you ask yourself where is the lie within it.  Where is the logical fallacy within it.  For example maybe the food demon says one bite won’t hurt you, or  you can start again tomorrow, which is based upon the logical fallacy that you’ll be in the exact same place tomorrow.

 If you reinforce the connection today between that craving and the actual eating of the food then, you’re going to have a stronger craving tomorrow.  That means the, food addiction and, binge eating, will be a little worse tomorrow. 

 One of the ways to attack your craving and, binge eating, is to create a food plan.  The food plan would have some things that you always eat, some things you never eat, and some things you eat sometimes.  

    •  I always eat five servings of fruit or vegetables.  
    • ·         I always drink two whole glasses of water when I get up in the morning.
    • ·        I will only eat pretzels at major league baseball games.
    • ·        I only eat bread when I am out at a restaurant.  
    • ·        I never eat after 6 pm.
  • ·        I never eat pizza.
  • I never eat more than two squares of chocolate a day. 

Conclusion 

While other addictions, such as alcohol and drug abuse, are more widely known and understood, food addiction, and, binge eating,  isn’t. Hope this blog post and Dr. Glenn Livingston, author of “Never Binge Again” helps. 

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Additional Resources

How to Find your Soul Mate or Twin Flame

soulmate vs twin flame

Are you a single woman hoping to, find your soul mate?  What about your, twin flame, who is your mirror, soul. Science says that when you meet your  Life partner, some thing magical happens. In this blog we look at what happens when two, souls, with constructive energies meet?

Listen to the full interview here:

In our last episode my co-host and I looked at what, single women, need to do to get their house ready for love, where to look for love and what to look for when you are starting over after divorce or death of a partner.

If you missed that episode you can download it here: https://blog.myhelps.us/how-single-women-find-love/ or on iTunes ,iHeart radio or wherever you get your podcasts. 

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Today’s episode of the Transform your Mind Radio Hour is sponsored by  Columbus Financial Coach.  Are you in a deep hole of “Financial Depression” with nowhere to turn for help? Constantly being harassed by collection agencies? Then visit Columbus Financial and success coach. www.columbusfinancialcoach.com

Introduction

 How to, Find your Soul mate,  the Science of Attraction

In the last Blog post, I shared how I met my husband on a train. I am going to use this personal story to illustrate what happens when two strangers or, souls, meet for the first time.

As you may remember from Chemistry class, every atom and molecule gives out and absorbs light. The human body is made up of 50 trillion cells composed of atoms and molecules. So we are massive bundles of energy giving off and absorbing light or energy all the time.

When two energies come together they become entangled, the first step to, find your soul mate, is constructive energy.

When two energies are in harmony, the result is called, constructive energy, because it increases in size.  That is why you should grow as a person when you are in the right relationship.

We call this, “good vibes” very important when you are hoping to, find your soul mate. 

How Chemistry plays in finding your Soul Mate

So let’s look at what happened when I met my husband and our energies became constructive!

I walked onto a train and he was standing by the door. I looked fine, mini skirt, sunglasses, designer bag over my shoulder,  so I caught his attention. He caught my attention because he was the first black officer I had seen on the train.

On be known to me my second Chakra or energy center in charge of communication sent him a signal because he tells me he felt this warm feeling in his body. He had never felt that before. Let me put a pin here and explain.

Our bodies are made up of seven energy centers, called Chakras. Each of these energy centers are responsible for certain functions.  I know that my second Chakra located below my navel is my communication center and it is responsible for engaging a mate by sending out signals when it finds a compatible energy so you can, find your soul mate.

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Soul mate vs Twin flame

My husband could also be my, twin flame.  After 14 years of marriage, I do believe we are mirror souls. What Is A Twin Flame? Sometimes discussed in terms of a “mirror soul” or, soul connection, a, twin flame, is the other half of your, soul. It is theorized that a, soul, can split into two after ascending to a high frequency. Thereafter, the, soul, lands in two different bodies.

I must have also received something from my husband’s energy center as well because my thoughts lingered on him. I was curious. That was all that it was for me at that time. Curiosity. I was not actively looking to, find a  soul mate.

But I have heard men say that the first time they saw their wife they knew that she was the one. There is such  a thing as love at first sight! Have you heard Steve Harvey tell his story of when he met his wife and, how he found his, soul mate?.  I don’t think he was actively trying to, find your soul mate. But there she was. He was doing stand up comedy and she walked in late with her girlfriends, and he couldn’t stop staring at her.  In fact he couldn’t even continue his act.  He told her right then that she was going to be his wife! Believe in compatible energy, it is real.

Anyway, back to my story. Because our energies entangled and we both got, good vibes, we looked to further the communication.

The, Soul mate Connection, is Immediate

Another pin. That is why we shouldn’t chase men.  if you guys have, constructive energy, or, good vibes, they will reach out. We are hard wired to mate. It is all happening without our conscious thought. Your soul is looking for it’s, twin flame.

So my husband searched for me on the train every day until he found me. I noticed him sit behind me for a few mins while he got up the nerve to come talk to me. We talked for about 30 mins until I got off the train at my stop. I will confess that I was not impressed by the conversation. He cursed like a sailor. I think that men who curse in front of women have no respect; but when I got off the train my energy body told me that it had made a, soul connection.

I had this incredible feeling of euphoria!  My stomach was doing somersaults. I knew right then that we would have a relationship. I knew right then that I had found my, soul mate, This is how you, find your soulmate, you listen to your body.

Three months later he proposed we were married 8 months after. That was 13 years ago and we are still in love, compatible energies!

Soul mate Meaning

This is an example of the science of two, compatible energies, something we have no control over.  That is why you have heard people say we have no control over who we love. You can’t pick your, soul mate. The science of attraction brings him or her to you.

Your, soul mate meaning,  two souls joining together to perfect each other.

On the other hand when your energy is not in sync with other, we get, bad vibes, not your, soul mate.  The energy cancels each other out and instead of feeling euphoria you feel depleted.

Energy is your most important reading as a single woman looking for a mate. Ever heard the saying that someone is like an anchor, you can’t thrive since you met them.  Pay attention that means that you are not expanding, you are contracting or stuck.

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Illustration  the Science of, Attraction, the bad vibe

Rhonda met this great guy at a bar. The guy was gorgeous, absolutely delicious. He pursued and seduced her and they started, dating. They had a great time together but something didn’t click. He was kinda, sorta vague on his explanation about everything.

It took about three months of, dating, this guy for Rhonda to discover that he was still living with his daughter’s mother and another 6 months to understand that theirs was an on and off relationship. He would never under any circumstances spend the night, saying that he did not want his daughter to wake up and he was not there.  This reminds me of Whitney Houston’s married relationship in Waiting to Exhale!

This is when Rhonda realized that a married man is a married man.  They can string you along forever. They can tell you anything.  She decided to breakup.  The breakup was mutual but she wasted at least 2 years on a relationship that was going nowhere when if she had paid attention to her, bad vibes,  she could have saved herself from heartache.

Reading energy is the most important data in the, dating, world.

Be careful of Psychopaths while looking to, find your  Soul Mate

Have you ever met a psychopath? Or been in a relationship with one? They are masters at reading energy.

We are all broadcasting a frequency of our most innermost thoughts. That is how a predator picks out his prey.

  • That is how a mugger chooses his victim.
  • Animals also know how to read this energy.  A lion picks his prey from a flock. He reads the vibration of the weakest prey.

I am sure everyone on the planet is aware on some level of the Art Kelly crimes against teenage girls and women. How do you think he chose his victims?  Women who would allow him to disrespect their bodies and lock them up in a room and  have to ask to go to the bathroom and ask to eat?  Some said that he didn’t feed them for 3 days, yet they didn’t leave. As one of his victims said in an interview.  If you were weak minded, he wants you. You could be a teenager or a 30 year old woman!

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Science of, attraction,  reading vibrations when looking to, find your soul mate?

Synergistic relationships are based on both individuals being on the same wavelength, when they completely understand each other and don’t try to limit the space they occupy in each other’s lives.

I read an article that stated the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.  The examples used was if you train two Belgian horses together, the effect is multiplied: together, they can pull 32,000 pounds. Two horses, doing the work of four, even though it seems to defy physics. Often, in a positive relationship, you’ll find that synergy is already happening.

How can you increase that by finding harmony, in acknowledging individual strengths and how they work best together?  For example, I love to shop; but I don’t necessarily like to cook all the time.  My husband, will send me a list of all the items to pick up the grocery store and he will cook.  I then just have to do keep the kitchen tidy and get the family read to enjoy his great cooking.  It works for both of us.

In regards to signs women should look out for in predators, Robert Hare, one of the world’s foremost experts on, psychopathic behavior, believes that people need to know what to do in the event they find themselves involved or associated with a predatory psychopath.

Here are his tips on How to Avoid being targeted by a predator when trying to, find your soulmate:

  1. Be careful of props—the winning smile, the promises, the fast talk, and the gifts meant to deflect you from the manipulation and exploitation that may be occurring. Any of these characteristics can have enormous sleight-of-hand value, serving to distract you.”
  2. Anyone who seems too perfect is. Psychopaths hide their dark sides until they get their target person deeply involved. Too much flattery, feigned kindness, and cracks in grandiose stories should provide clues and put you on your guard. Make reasonable inquiries.
  3. Know yourself—or you might be vulnerable from your blind spots. Predators know how to find and use your triggers, so the more you realize what you tend to fall for, the more closely you can guard against it.

 

The second stage in the Science of Attraction, is Chemistry

I know you have heard this word thrown around all the time. For example the dating sites match people up by common interests; but they can’t manufacture chemistry.

Let’s get back to my husband for a minute.

I just shared all about the our first meeting and about us having good vibes but if we had no chemistry we would just become good friends.

Here are the Chemicals released  by love that is responsible for Chemistry:

  • Dopamine – Lights up your pleasure center. Your pleasure goes up when you are near or think about this person. Your  motivation goes up, Now you are thinking of that nice house and 2 kids! Your sadness goes down, if you were depressed, you are now happy.

I know you have heard the saying love is blind. It is true. Dopamine make you more attractive to your mate and since we are on this planet to procreate, your sexuality goes up! I am sure you have heard or have personal data that new lovers do it all the time!

  • The second chemical that is released in love is Oxytocin  – Oxytocin is responsible for trust. Your level of trust goes up, and your attachment goes up. This is probably why your girlfriends can’t figure why you are going out with a player;  but you don’t see it until your heart is crushed. The psychopath uses this one to his advantage.
  • Finally Serotonin is released. – This hormone is responsible for all the pain attached to love. Serotonin goes up and you become obsessed with your lover. Love is a chemical addiction!

Thank God I have only had one experience with an over abundance of this hormone.

I met one of my boyfriends at a club and it was an instant attraction. I fell hard.  I swooned when he called me baby the next day!

Less than 2 months after we met, we made plans to spend the New Year in Jamaica.  He left before Christmas but I wouldn’t leave my kids for Christmas so I made plans to meet him in Jamaica after Christmas.   It was the longest week in my entire life.  I literally looked at the clock the entire time.  I was an addict! I however did not, find my soulmate.

Arifah what can you lend to this conversation from a social worker perspective?

Wow, Myrna glad you spoke about the hormones.  I always talk to my clients about increasing their Oxytocin through touch, such as a hug, holding hands, a kiss.  Everyone has a sensitive area on the body that causes arousal when touched, whether sexual or just to feel good. It’s important in a relationship to know what your partner likes and does not, to give each other compliments and share tips on how increase synergy between each other.  It’s important to always reminisce on moments, like when you first met, knew you were in love and what you admire about one another now.  All of this, helps build connection.

In general the most salient characteristics for chemistry between two people are mutual interest (reciprocal candor, reasonableness, intimacy,

Similarity, and physical attraction.

 

Here are some questions from my Life Coach group on Facebook on How to, Find your Soul mate?

Remember you have an open invitation to join this group to get answers from the group on any of your struggles in life.

Question from Velma: I would like to, find your soul mate, but most men in my age group 60, want a traditional woman to cook and clean and a man to think for her. I’m not a traditional woman and I’m tired of pretending to be helpless. How do we as women maneuver in a world of the insecure man?

My answer – be both cake and ice-cream. Sometimes you are soft like ice cream and sometimes you are in charge and embrace your masculine energy and be cake.

What’s your answer Arifah

Keep doing what you love and make yourself a priority to level up.

Question from Elizabeth:

Should I be looking to, find your soul mate,  of just someone to keep me warm at night?

When you are in your fifties and you have to start all over dating, do you date to find a husband or should you be okay with someone to keep you warm at night.

My answer- Someone to keep you warm at night. Women over 40 have a very slim chance of finding a husband, but you can definitely, find your soul mate!

What’s your answer Arifah?

Its up to you, based on what you are looking for in the present.  Dating, can work either way, based on what you end up wanting.

Arifah is the Founder and Program Director of Lifted by Purpose.

Lifted by Purpose Provides a diverse range of services to organizations seeking trainings, workshops or programs with the intent to engage youth in conversations about mental health and learn practical strategies to cope with life stressors. Including:

  • Anger Management
  • Healthy Relationships
  • Mental Health Education and Coping Skills
  • Youth Engagement and
  • Mental Health First Aid Training

Located at 180 Shaw St, suite 201, Toronto, Ont.  Phone # 416-391-5270

 Additional Resources for, How to Find your Soulmate

https://blog.myhelps.us/sex-and-spiritual-energy-the-tree-of-life/

 

Is the Secret to Love, Sex?

The Alchemy of Desire

How To Use Vibrational Energy For Attraction

https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/