Category Archives: transform your mind

Life Coaching, Life Coaching Blog, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, transform your mind

Using Z-isms and Life Lessons for Personal Growth

January 18, 2021 Myrna Young

A, life lesson, can be defined as something from which useful knowledge or principles for, personal growth, can be learned. When I was growing up my grandmother had a lot of these, life lessons, and principles. One of them was you can lead a horse to the water but you can’t make him drink! Today we are going to be talking about, Z-isms. If you don’t know what these are, download the audio.

Listen to the full episode here:

My guest today is Matt Zinman called a difference-maker, devoted to personally enrich the lives of at least 100 million people by 2025. His new book, “Z-isms: Insights to Live By” is based on his experiences as an entrepreneur, athlete, single parent, caregiver and nonprofit founder. Matt is also the host of “Insights to Live By,” a podcast that invites guests to share their own pearls of wisdom. In addition, Matt is CEO of The Internship Institute, which he established in 2007 to “Make Experience Matter.”

Introduction to Z-isms or life lessons

One of your, life lessons, is about, self-discovery, and mindset. So what are, Z-isms?

Matt – A, Z-ism, is a, life lesson, a filter in how it is that we experience the world around us. One of the which is, mood, health. I think everyone recognizes that pessimism and optimism apply to the very same set of circumstances. If you're having that kind of a down day you could just as well be seeing something differently than if you were having an up day; so recognizing where you are in your, mood, health at any given time is one filter.

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Another principle of, life lessons, is are you staying present or are you caught up in worry about the future. Maybe you're worrying about something that isn't certain to happen or you keep running something through your head that already happened that continues to just spiral and drag you down and change your, mood.

It's important to recognize that you are in the, present moment, and grounding yourself in, gratitude, is very key. Then there's perception itself and recognizing that you may not get it all right; but that is okay. We're not all the best listeners all the time we could be distracted.

Gratitude is the best life lesson for Personal Growth

Myrna – A lot a lot of people start their mornings with a, gratitude meditation, because if you have, gratitude, for the smallest number of things then it is good. It doesn't have to be that your dream job or dream relationship is happening. We all have goals and we all have dreams. You might be depressed because you're not where you want to be in life; but if you can just be, grateful, for what you have now, then you are enhancing your, personal growth.

Louise Hay has a, gratitude meditation, on YouTube that I do a few times per week.

It's really basic being, grateful, that you have electricity, that you have a stove that you can cook on, gratitude, that you have indoor plumbing! Etc. There's so many things that we can be, grateful, for.

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Matt – Your point about, gratitude, is so spot-on right we hear about it so much and there's a reason that, gratitude, works. It's really at that heart of life enrichment. It is the premier, life lesson.

If you do that, gratitude meditation, for just two minutes in the morning and before bed, for 30 days straight, I guarantee it will change your life.

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Beware of the Spiders life lesson

Myrna – Let’s talk about, spiders. One of your unusual topics in your book involves being aware of, spiders. You describe, spiders, as people who manipulate and drain others. Why did you call them, spiders, because I call those people leeches. They suck you, what does, spiders, have to do with draining you? Tell me the concept there?

Matt – Spiders, do have quite a bite. If you really take inventory of the people who were in your orbit, it's pretty easy to go down that list and recognize that person we choose to be vulnerable with. We don't want to put energy into always having to be on guard.

It takes a lot more energy to be devious than it does to be oblivious. For the, spider, they must remember their lies. When you're living the life of a manipulator or devious person, it doesn't come naturally you've got to plan it out.

You really need to tune into your Spidey senses to recognize that someone is trying to get you to do something you prefer not to do; but they know you can’t say no. We talked about people pleasers. They are the perfect person for the, spider, to manipulate.

Myrna – So you call them, spiders, because they suck, they're devious and because they weave webs and set traps, understood.

What kind of, z-isms, or , life lessons, do you coach?

Matt – I usually start with teaching, self-kindness. It comes back to valuing yourself and if you value yourself first, the rest comes naturally. Relying on that guiding principle around, self-kindness, you just cannot go wrong.

Self-kindness, is the is the escape hatch when you are caught in the, spider, web. If you get yourself caught in a, spider, web and you're being manipulated, if think of yourself and think about the wars that you've won and you feel, gratitude, or all these things can power you to change the situation.

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Conclusion Z-isms Life Lessons

Myrna – What can readers get from the book after they've read it?

Matt – I want my readers to understand earned confidence and become aware of, spiders, and things around them

energy management,
entrepreneurship,
concepts around inevitability to a degree the law of attraction
and gratitude in life.

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Whether you believe in the law of attraction or not, it has less to do with it as it does acting on things that come your way.

I tell personal stories throughout the book on the, life lessons, I have learned that I think will resonate with readers.

Additional Resources

7 Strategies to Personal Growth

Life Coaching Blog, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, transform your mind

How to Become the Author of Your Life

January 16, 2021 Myrna Young

We are the, author, of our lives. When we were born we had an beginning page and an end page. It is up to us to, author, and fill in the pages in-between. We are the, author, of the script, the director and the producer of our lives. Life by design, is what I teach as a, life coach. And I think that one of the first things that we can do is if we understand the power of self-amplifying feedback loops, the way our spaces influence our thinking and our thinking in turn influences our spaces. We could then control what happens to us by exercising creative control over the circumstances that we throw ourselves into.

Introduction to Life by Design

There's always going to be the wild card. There's always going to be the circumstances you can't plan for; but, life by design, is the concept that we can use our thoughts and the, law of attraction, to bring to us all that we desire. There's always the unexpected relevance and the, serendipity. But just like that book The Power of Pull talks about, we can funnel the, serendipity, or we can channel the, serendipity, funnel. We can help engender and engineer serendipity by the choices that we make every moment, and live a, life by design.

We all have experienced the, serendipity, of relevant information arriving just when we were least expecting it.
It was only through pure, serendipity, that I met my best friend!
Your chances of finding such a feature are down to either extremely assiduous trawling or mere, serendipity.

So by cultivating rich social networks, by cultivating weak ties, not just closed ties but the weak ties, by becoming connectors and by connecting others so that they connect us, we create a world in which these self-amplifying feedback loops feed on top of each other. So good circumstances lead to other good circumstances which lead to other good circumstances and each one of them encourages us to then live more openly and participate in that sort of creative flow space. Live a, life by design.

Be the, author, of your own self-help book, I just really believe that our creative choices ultimately shape who we become and so we should all be discerning and be radically open whenever possible and I think that we really can make a masterpiece out of our own lives if we so choose. But that requires, it requires a boldness of character as well, because seeing the radical freedom to live a, life by design. We have to compose our lives, what Leary called internal freedom.

The vertigo of freedom, this dizzying – what do I do? I can do anything? Well, the paradox of too much choice. But I think we can embrace that with courage and with boldness, and once we do, there's nothing we can't do but, author, the life we want.

Author of our Own Lives

As the, author, of our own lives we can begin by taking control of our own lives. This requires recognizing that while family or social circumstances influence our character, they do not determine it absolutely. The same is true of the most basic instincts that come from our heredity and bodily constitution. These instinctive ways of acting can be molded and guided by the exercise of a will that heeds the dictates of a well-formed reason.

Our personality is forged to the extent that we make free decisions, since our actions not only alter our environment but also shape our way of being. Although at times we aren’t fully aware of it, the repetition of acts leads us to acquire particular customs or attitudes in facing reality. Therefore when we explain the reason for our spontaneous reactions, rather than saying “that’s the way I am,” we should often admit: “that’s the way I have made myself.”

Our lives are conditioned by factors that are often difficult to control: for example, the quality of family relationships, the social environment in which we grow up, an illness that limits us in one way or another, etc. Although often we are unable to ignore or undo these limitations, we can certainly change our attitude in confronting them, especially if we are aware that nothing escapes God’s provident care. “It is important to keep reminding ourselves that Jesus did not address himself to a privileged set of people; he came to reveal the universal love of God to us. God loves all mankind, and he wants all to love him. God is also the, author, and finisher of our lives. In any situation, even one that entails great limitations, we can offer God and our neighbors deeds of love, no matter how small these may seem. Who knows how great the value is of a smile in the midst of tribulation, of suffering offered to our Lord in union with the Cross, of patiently accepting small annoyances and setbacks! Nothing can quench a limitless love, a love stronger than suffering, loneliness, abandonment, betrayal, slander, physical and moral suffering, and even death itself.

Additional resources

How to be Happy with Less

How to Fly like an Eagle above the Storms of Life

Life Coaching, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, transform your mind

Does Serving a Prison Sentence Affect Change?

January 11, 2021 Myrna Young

Does serving a, prison, sentence change your outlook in life? Rocky Singh Kandola talks to us today on the subjects of, rape, child abuse, prison, physical assault, and more.

Listen to the full interview here:

Rocky Singh Kandola is a 33 year old successful Indian businessman born in New York City and currently living in Los Angeles. Rocky owns a showroom in a high traffic area in the downtown area of Los Angeles. He says “I am both a felon and a Philosophy Graduate” Rocky spent his “high school” life in 9 different facilities and, boot camps, around the world, some of which are now closed due to severe, child abuse, rape, and torture. He have almost died at least 8 times. Half of his face and jaw are fake from an attempted murder on his life. He’s been shot, stabbed, kidnapped, and kicked in the face resulting in over 20 major surgeries in his adult life.

How did Rocky end up in Prison

Myrna – Can you tell us your story of what led to you being, incarcerated.

Rocky – I spent a lot of time in different facilities and, boot camps, across the world at a young age. My father was a very traditional Indian parent. Indian kids were supposed to stay home, study and get straight A’s. I was not that kid, I was a lot more outspoken. I was wild and carefree. I wanted to be out and about and party with friends so me and my father bumped heads often.

I was sent to my first worldwide association of specialty program, boot camp, at age 15. Paris Hilton recently shed a lot of light on these, child abuse, boots camps, in her documentary.

Myrna – Oh my gosh, I saw her documentary.

Rocky – I went to one of the, boot camps, that were outside of the U.S, this one was in Mexico. Keep in mind these are for-profit businesses that operate in very manipulative ways towards the parents as well as towards the children in order to further their business.

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My parents didn't really know about the trauma the, child abuse, the, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or the, mental abuse, that was going on at these, boot camps. They would tell the parents your kids are going to manipulate you. They're going to lie to you, don't listen to them. Our communication was controlled, we weren't allowed to write or talk call home.

These, group homes, boot camps, very regimented. As soon as you walked in, your hair is shaved, you're sleeping on the ground for 10 days, you're screamed at, or you're beaten, and yelled at. Forced to lay in positions on your stomach with your chin on the ground and your hands and feet tied behind your back for hours.

You're forced to wake up at 2 am o'clock in the middle of the night and go outside and stand in the rain and count the rain. These, group homes, boot camps, did all kinds of cruel mental games to brainwash and break a child. It's not hard to break a child especially at that age.

I learned to adapt and to work the system and I used that knowledge when I was in, prison. I would go into these, group homes, boot camps, every six months of my life, then go home, raise hell and be sent to another, group home, 6 months later.

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Did life in these book camps train you for Prison?

Myrna – What did you get arrested for and sent to, prison?

Rocky – The, prison, thing came about because I was selling drugs and doing everything from robbing, stealing, breaking into cars. I started getting into heavier drugs until the federal government and the state local police set up a sting operation. This task force followed me around for quite a bit of time and got me to sell narcotics to an undercover agent.

I was arrested and charged with distribution. I was sentenced to seven to nine years in, prison.

Prison, was very scary place; but after a few months, I got out I kind of got back in the same lifestyle. I'm not really the type person you can scare or punish into changing.

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Does a prison sentence reform the inmate?

Myrna – You were in, prison, I think you said for seven or eight years and then you said that when you came out of, prison, you went back into the same lifestyle. What you think, prison, did for you if anything?

Rocky – I was in prison for about two years, in jail for a year then rehab for another year.

I learned so much in, prison. There's people going to, prison, with different attitudes, different crimes. I went in there as an adaptable chameleon. I've been institutionalized since I was 11, so I knew it was gonna be another institution. I knew there were certain things I had to learn like how to navigate between judges and counselors and convicts and inmates.

I didn't really have any troubles, I had a pretty decent level of respect for, prison. People were curious about me, why was I in prison in Alabama? What was this Indian kid doing in a, prison, in Alabama?

On top of that I spoke Spanish and I played basketball, so it was very easy to transfer between a lot of race wars in an Alabama, prison. It was easy to go between White and Black and Mexican inmates.

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I quickly developed a sense of wanting to help, so I started writing motions for people in, prison. Most inmates didn’t know how to read and write. But in spite of wanting to help and do good, I quickly got back into selling drugs in, prison.

Myrna – How do you sell drugs in, prison?

Rocky – There are certain areas in, prison, you meet someone that's for lack of a better term gay and they're happy putting substances inside of their butt area and they would sneak in drugs for you. They would then clean it out, put it in a certain area, tell you where it is and you go pick it up. I then go bag it up and then redistribute it.

It's a whole different world inside, prisons. I am smiling now but looking back it was nerve-wracking and very scary, because if you get caught, you're in big trouble. Outside of that I liked the time I had to myself in, prison. I read books and journal and make a plan for my life.

I started plans for my business plan in, prison.

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Planning your life while inside Prison

When you take your time while you're in, prison, to really set goals and set a future up for yourself, when you get out of, prison, you're already a step ahead versus the person who just

closed their eyes and did their time in, prison.

It's such an important thing planning and preparing and framing your mind for when you leave, prison. I've learned in my life from, sexual abuse, physical abuse, in , boot camps, and being beaten in, jail.

Myrna – You have to change your mindset, that is why this the show is called the Transform your Mind podcast. The system feels that when they, incarcerate, people, they felt punishing them by sending them to, prison, or, jail, for a couple of years that they will reform them and change behaviors. But like you said you can go to, prison, and get worse because drugs are still selling in, prison.

You send someone in there who’s innocent and they come out worse than when they went in, or you can go to, prison, and you can get your GED. Some go to, prison, and had such a horrible time in there that they vow never to go back to, prison.

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Statistics of repeat offenders Recidivism to prison

Myrna – What is the statistics of how many people reform from being sent to, prison, and the percentage of those who are repeat offenders?

Rocky – I believe our, recidivism, rate in America is close to 70 percent. I went back to, jail, twice after my release from, prison, twice for about a month. The system to be truthful is

almost designed for, recidivism, to make you mess up, so you can go right back to, prison, and serve more time.

Myrna- I would say that you were lucky that your father sent you to India and you used that opportunity to start your hair business. Tell us about your business.

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Planning a successful business from Prison

Rocky – I started my business plan from , prison. Then when I was in India after I left, prison, I had time to meet manufacturers, go to the small markets where they're selling hair and really do a lot of research. Everything happens for a reason. I never thought I’d be in India after, prison. While I was there and everything started falling into place. Within a week I had the name for my business, paid for the domain and then made a Facebook post. I had the ability to learn from an Indian perspective about the manufacturing side before I learned about marketing in the U.S.

Myrna – How can listeners contact you and support your business?

Rocky – My main website and personal blog is hair made https://www.rockykandola.com/

And https://hairmaidenindia.com

You will find links there to all my past podcast episodes. You’ll have all the businesses that I currently run, from my hair company, to my Tea company, to my vacation rental property company in Florida.

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Conclusion

In closing I want to remind you to subscribe to the Transform your Mind Podcast YouTube channel or iTunes and please rate and review our podcast.

I would also like to invite you to join my private Facebook group called life coach, we have a lot of life Coaches with daily inspirational messages.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-mothers-abandonment/

blog, coaching, Executive Coaching, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Personal Development, Podcast, positive change, relationship coaching, transform your mind

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

December 20, 2020 Myrna Young

Do you know that your, core beliefs, affect everything you do in life? Well it’s true. What you believe is how you show up in every circumstance in your life.

Listen to full interview here:

For example: Do you consistently find yourself in situations where men are trying to bully you or treat you less than you are worth? It may because of a, core belief, that started with how your father treated your mother or even you.

Introduction Core Beliefs

Your, core belief, could be that you are a victim and that belief keeps you trapped in that story.

The thing about a, core belief, is that it cannot be easily changed.

Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:

“All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in, core beliefs. So how do we change? The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain to the old belief. You must feel deep in your gut that not only has this, core belief cost you pain in the past, but it's costing you in the present and, ultimately, can only bring you pain in the future. Then you must associate tremendous pleasure to the idea of adopting a new, empowering belief.”

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We all have existing, core beliefs, in four areas:

How we feel love,
our self-worth,
how we feel security, and
fulfillment.
Life after death.

Your, core beliefs, can't be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one, like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness to help you achieve any goal.

Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs

A, positive core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four key beliefs you want to activate are:

I am loving and lovable.
I am worthy.
I am safe and trusting.
I am fulfilled and whole.

The bible teaches that for God to answer prayer you must first believe and have faith that God is first able and willing to give you the desires of your heart; but there are ways to improve the chances that God will answer your prayer. A prayer is a special kind of intention or, core belief. Therefore, the rules that apply to the, Power of intentions, which are rules about consciousness, apply.

Your prayer will be answered, or not, depending on events happening out of sight – but not out of mind. The mind furnishes the mechanics of making any intention come true. An intention or prayer request, sent to God needs faith to rocket it to the heavens. An intention to graduate at the top of your class or to marry the man of your dreams takes focus, diligence and action. The bible also teaches “Faith Without Works Is Dead”.

Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief?

If you have not found love even after several tries, then you have to look deeply at what you are doing to push love away. Do you have a, core belief, that you are unlovable? How much pain is that belief causing you? It will take a lot of work; but you have to believe that God’s light shines in you and that you deserving of love and happiness.

Do you feel empty inside all the time even though you have all the outward symbols of success like a nice home, a loving husband, a good job, 2 kids and a dog? Then your, core belief, could be that you need to make a contribution to the world like Mother Theresa or like Nelson Mandela to feel fulfilled. You have to change that, core belief, that maybe your purpose is to support your children and help them to fulfill their purpose in the world. Sometimes our role in God’s kingdom is not to change the world but to change one person!

Here is A Self-Awareness Exercise to help you understand Your, Core Beliefs,

Look upon what's happening now in your life as a reflection of your, core beliefs.

Are there any patterns you see? For example:

Do all your relationships fail?
Are you in constant debt?
Do you find it hard to keep friends?

Listen to yourself. Once you figure it out, then turn it around. Ask yourself:

What do I want?
What would I have to believe in order to have this?

Next, you're going to re-program yourself.

You may need the help of a coach like, Myrna Young, or mentor but; self-awareness is the key to changing your, core beliefs,

As Tony Robbins says, you must associate tremendous pleasure to your new, core belief, For example. See yourself in a loving and fulfilling relationship, going on dream vacations and having a wonderful life together and believe that you are a woman any man can love!

Additional resources:

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/challenging-automatic-thoughts-positive-thoughts-worksheets/

Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept

Self-concept refers to how one perceives themselves, their past experiences, their abilities, their prospects for the future, and any other aspect of the self. Aaron Beck’s cognitive triad, discussed below, deals with self-concept and the construction of the self. The basic idea of how our self-concepts and cognitive biases affect our lives has to do with automatic thoughts.

For example, someone with a negative “self-referential schema” is more likely to take things personally, leading to automatic thoughts like “People are not talking to me because I am an unlikable person”, rather than exploring other possibilities (Disner et al., 2017). A negative self-referential schema can also lead to increased severity of depression symptoms. Most importantly, a negative self-concept can lead to an unending cycle of negative thoughts.

This is because people with negative self-referential schemas exhibit an attentional bias. For example, when asked to decide whether an adjective is self-referential or not, people with depression are more likely to endorse negative adjectives than healthy controls, and they show an attentional bias by being quicker to endorse negative adjectives and quicker to reject positive adjectives than healthy controls (Disner et al., 2017). In turn, being likelier to endorse negative adjectives is correlated with longer “retrospectively reported” depressive episodes, demonstrating the cycle of negativity.

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-do-you-define-success/

http://blog.myhelps.us/what-are-the-secrets-to-success-my-10-secrets/

blog, Life Coaching, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, Podcast, positive change, Spiritual Life Coaching, transform your mind

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

December 19, 2020 Myrna Young

In the world of, Quantum physics, it was discovered that matter can be both a particle and a wave. That everything exists in the wave format, infinite possibility, until it is observed. So to live in, infinite possibility, is to know that you have a, vortex, of un-manifested possibility waiting to become your reality.

In this episode Life coach Myrna Young teaches on living in the state of, infinite possibility. Quantum physics, tells us that until something is observed, it is in the form on the infinite.

Listen to the full interview here:

Introduction

Observation turns the wave, infinite possibility, into a particle.

Let me explain: when we are born we have, infinite possibilities. We were all born with a purpose and the talent to fulfill that purpose. God said

“ I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

But God also gave us free will, which means that we got to choose which road we wanted to take in life. Either towards our purpose or away from it.

As a kid we dreamed big, we lived in the state of, infinite possibility, We wanted to become doctors and lawyers, firemen and policemen, scientists and movie stars. Our future was a wave full of, infinite possibility. Them someone told us, we were not good at math, so we could never become a doctor or a scientist; because you have to be good at math to become a doctor, so that un-manifested possibility that was in your, vortex, is no longer.

Your, Vortex, represents your Law of Attraction

The wave, infinite possibility, is now observed and has become a particle. Regardless if that statement is true or not, it is now your reality, because perception is reality. You now no longer want to be a doctor or scientist; but think about maybe becoming a nurse or Art teacher because you don't need to know math.

I once interviewed Ilona Selke the author of the book “Dream Big, the Universe is listening”. She writes whatever you set your intention to, the universe conspires to bring it to you. That is called the Law of Attraction. If you missed that episode Download that episode now on iTunes now, or any of the podcast players.

Dr Martin Luther King Jr, I have a dream speech sees the, infinite possibility, of race

I love Dr Martin Luther King Jr. and his I have a dream speech. As a pastor and man of God, Dr King lived in the, infinite possibility, that this country would treat a man based on his character, and not the color of his skin. That possibility still exists today but it is still un-manifested in our, vortex.

So in this episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to remind you that You are the Universe apply the Law of Divine Oneness to your Life. You are made up of the same matter as the stars and the Ether. You are an infinite being with, infinite possibilities,. Do not limit yourself, because as soon as you make that observation, you become limited to what your flesh could do.

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As James Allen said, As a man thinketh so is he. You become what you think about, so think as a wave and embrace the, infinite possibilities, of your life.

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Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reap-where-you-plant/

Guardian Angels, Life Coaching, Podcast, purpose, Spiritual Fulfillment, Spiritual Life Coaching, transform your mind

How to Communicate with your Guardian Angel

December 19, 2020 Myrna Young

We all have at least one, Guardian Angel, assigned to us and they have two jobs; one is to love us unconditionally and the other is to get us to our predetermined expiration date.

In today's episode of the”Transform your Mind, to Transform your Life podcast, I interview, Keith Leon S. Keith Leon S, is a multiple best-selling author, publisher and speaker who is well known as the book Guy. His life purpose book called “Walking with my Angels” is a true story with the foreword written by “Chicken Soup for the Soul” Jack Canfield. Keith has appeared in numerous popular radio and television broadcast and his works have been covered by Ink magazine, LA Weekly, The Huffington Post, and Succeed magazine just to name a few. Keith has spoken at events that included Jack Canfield, Bob Proctor, Neale Donald Walsch, Barbara DeAngelis, Dr. John Gray, Dr. Michael Beckwith, and Marianna Williamson.

Listen to the full interview here:

Keith also loves introducing people to their inner guidance system whom he calls heavenly helpers. Keith can you introduce us to your story.

Keith's story of his Guardian Angel

Well it's the story of my life and how many times my, Guardian Angel, intervened to keep me on the planet. I should have died eight times already and miracles has kept me alive. These miracles happened when I was a child and, so even from childhood I had this question. What was so great about me that I would be saved and so many people were not. What am I here to do that is so grand that miracles keep happening to keep me on the planet?

It wasn't until my early 20's that I actually received the answer to that question. I received that answer from my, earth bound Angel. My, earth bound Angel, John appeared to me as a man; but was really my, earthbound Angel, and told me that his job was to take me from,

“Believing in nothing to believing in Everything”

He performed, miracles, just to get me to open my mind and believe in him and believe that all things are possible. He eventually did reveal my life purpose to me in a very specific way. He told me at one point he would saved my life and once he did that I would have to let him go because then he would be off to help another person.

One of the lessons he taught me, was he took me into a cave that was pitch black and taught me to trust even when I can’t see anything in front of me.

Guardian Angels and Its a Wonderful Life Movie

That part of your story reminded me of the movie a Wonderful Life.

I also read the book “A Peaceful Warrior. ” After reading that book I thought that the author had followed me around. It was exactly my story! I actually had to omit a lot of things from my book because there were the same as the author described.

I thought he must have followed me around with the pen and paper. The story was exactly like mine. I really feel like it's the same angel! So I actually had to omit a lot of things from my story because his experience was almost the same as mine.

You started talking to angels when you were like eight years old or younger and you talked about the times in your life's when your, Guardian Angel, saved your life or warned you of danger. I specifically remember in your book, the time when this man on the street asked you to touch his penis and your, guardian angel, told you to run and shout for your mom.

How did you know you were talking to your, Guardian Angel, and not a voice in your head, because we all have about 5 voices in our head?

When I was a child my, Guardian Angel, voice came from outside of me. His voice would come from different places. Sometimes would be up in the ceiling, sometimes in the corner, sometimes it would be behind me or to my left, sometimes my right, sometimes right in front of me.

Because I was a child, I feel that if my, Guardian Angel, voice came from inside my head, then I would be doubting myself and questioning myself. But because it was outside of me and I could hear it audibly, just like I hear you talking to me right now, then I was sure the voice was my, Guardian Angel.

I just learned pretty quickly that when I do what my, Guardian Angel, tells me to do, everything goes just great.

Tell us about your, Earth bound Angel, you called him John in your book.

You said the John your, earth bound Angel, told you your purpose. You said you didn’t understand why you were so special before John showed up.

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Does everyone have a, Guardian Angel?

Everyone has at least one, Guardian Angel, assigned to them. They just don’t know it. Like my mom. She thought she had mother's intuition. That's what she called it; but she was being guided by her, Guardian Angel. She would say, don't go out and ride that skateboard, you will get a fractured wrist, and I'd be like yeah mama leave me alone. I'd go ride that skateboard and fractured my wrist.

There was even a point where my, Guardian Angel, advised her at a time when she was manic depressive. There was a time when my mom was really depressed and she just decided that she was gonna kill herself and me and my sister. So she closed all the windows and turned the gas on in the house and a voice told her “you can't do that, open the windows and turn off the gas.” She didn't listen and the voice became louder. “YOU CANNOT DO THAT, OPEN THE WINDOWS AND TURN OFF THE GAS.” She said the voice sounded like GOD, she freaked out and turned off the gas and opened the windows.

She didn’t tell me this story until much later when she was on her deathbed and I was telling her that I should have died seven times already and my, Guardian Angel, saved me and she added oh yeah it should be eight times!

Podbean

We all have at least one, Guardian Angel, assigned to us and they have two jobs one is to:

To love you unconditionally, so they like your mom, there's nothing you could do that would make them love you less.
To just get you to your predetermined expiration date. There's a time that you're here on the earth, and they have to get you to that date. So whenever you avoid an accident or any danger your, Guardian Angel, is intervening to get you to your predetermined expiration date. In the meanwhile they're standing by going oh my God, I could do so much more for you; but because you have free will they cannot do any more than those two things unless you invite them to do more.

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Here is how you invite your, Guardian Angel, to do more for you

First of all say thanks a lot for keeping me safe. I'm inviting you to show up for me. If you'd like to show yourself physically to me that's okay too. If you want to have it where I ask a question and I go out to the car and the next song that comes on the radio is the exact answer, great. However you want to show up now that I have invited you, I will pay attention.

What is the message that like your readers to take away about, Guardian Angels, from your book “Walking with Angels”

I wanted to share with everyone in the world what I know is absolute truth and that is this.

You are directly connected to the source energy that created everything in this world.

I call it, Guardian Angels, and you may call it intuition, our guidance system, energy, you may call it Source, God, Jehovah, Buddha. I like to say it doesn't care what you call it, as long as you call it!

So I'm called to share with you that if you're willing to sit, ask, and listen, you will get guidance from your, Guardian Angel.

Notice there's just three instructions, sit, ask and listen. A lot of people sit in meditation and prayer; but are asking the wrong questions. Any question that starts with Why is not a question that you want an answer to. Instead Ask, How can I be more loving? What can I do to create more and attract more abundance into my life?

If you're going to sit, ask and listen. Listening being the most important of those three words. I just said we're sitting and asking; but when do we really sit long enough to get the answer? So if you listen, you can access the answer to any question that you have; because you are in direct communication with the Creator.

Your words have power, and here's what I want you to know. You have more power within you than you'll ever know. You have more power in your little finger than you think you have in your whole entire body. And so my book will show you all the ways that you may have been disconnected from your source.

It will share with you how to reopen the floodgates to start manifesting your dreams and your desires and to access the inner knowing that you have within you.

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What is the difference between a, Guardian Angel, and, Archangels,

Guardian Angels, like I said, we all have at least one assigned to us. They have a clear job. To love you unconditionally and get you to your predetermined expiration date. They're like your buddy, they're with you all the time.

Arc Angels, are more famous Angels. Like, Archangel Michael. Arc Angels, are really great at specific things. People have been channeling them for years.

Archangel Michael, is the warrior who fights against Satan and his emissaries. The defender of those who love God. The protector of the people of God.

The, Archangel Michael, the ‘celestial warrior’, is the protector of swordsmen and masters of arms. His skills as a judger of souls have also made him the patron of all trades that involve the use of assessments, such as traders, pharmacists, pastry chefs. He is also patron saint of the Police.

Archangel Michael, is the protector. You can say, Archangel Michael, I'm going to see my mom every for Thanksgiving dinner. Will you wrap your wings of protection around me right now and if anything negative comes at me energetically, let it bounce off your wings and hit the floor. Because the, Archangel Michael, can be anyplace and anywhere, he can be doing that for me and be doing that for someone across the U.S and someone in Africa or someone in India simultaneously.

You start with your, guardian angel, and then you step up to the, Archangels. So, Archangel Michael, can give support that would help me move forward.

Archangel Gabriel, is one of the spirits closest to God, before his heavenly throne, the one who revealed to Daniel the secrets of God’s plan, announced to Zechariah the birth of John the Baptist and to Mary that of Jesus.

Archangel Gabrielle, is the saint who opens doors for you. Like a business and things that you want to manifest.

Archangel Raphael, stands before the throne of God , accompanied and protects Tobias in his perilous journey and healed his father from blindness and his future bride from the influence of evil.

If you found this content inspirational, please subscribe to the Transform your Mind podcast and post a review on iTunes.

Additional Resources, Archangels

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reprogram-your-unconscious-mind/

How to Stop Self Sabotaging Behaviors

http://blog.myhelps.us/medical-intuitive-readings-what-your-spirit-is-telling-you-through-symptoms/

Angels

https://www.thecircle.com/us/magazin/life_and_destiny/archangel-gabriel.do

healthy relationships, Life Coaching, mental health counseling, Mindset Transformation, minority women, Personal Development, Podcast, transform your mind

How to Find your Soul Mate or Twin Flame

December 3, 2020 Myrna Young

Are you a single woman hoping to, find your soul mate? What about your, twin flame, who is your mirror, soul. Science says that when you meet your Life partner, some thing magical happens. In this blog we look at what happens when two, souls, with constructive energies meet?

Listen to the full interview here:

In our last episode my co-host and I looked at what, single women, need to do to get their house ready for love, where to look for love and what to look for when you are starting over after divorce or death of a partner.

If you missed that episode you can download it here: http://blog.myhelps.us/how-single-women-find-love/ or on iTunes ,iHeart radio or wherever you get your podcasts.

Today's episode of the Transform your Mind Radio Hour is sponsored by Columbus Financial Coach. Are you in a deep hole of “Financial Depression” with nowhere to turn for help? Constantly being harassed by collection agencies? Then visit Columbus Financial and success coach. www.columbusfinancialcoach.com

Introduction

How to, Find your Soul mate, the Science of Attraction

In the last Blog post, I shared how I met my husband on a train. I am going to use this personal story to illustrate what happens when two strangers or, souls, meet for the first time.

As you may remember from Chemistry class, every atom and molecule gives out and absorbs light. The human body is made up of 50 trillion cells composed of atoms and molecules. So we are massive bundles of energy giving off and absorbing light or energy all the time.

When two energies come together they become entangled, the first step to, find your soul mate, is constructive energy.

When two energies are in harmony, the result is called, constructive energy, because it increases in size. That is why you should grow as a person when you are in the right relationship.

We call this, “good vibes” very important when you are hoping to, find your soul mate.

How Chemistry plays in finding your Soul Mate

So let's look at what happened when I met my husband and our energies became constructive!

I walked onto a train and he was standing by the door. I looked fine, mini skirt, sunglasses, designer bag over my shoulder, so I caught his attention. He caught my attention because he was the first black officer I had seen on the train.

On be known to me my second Chakra or energy center in charge of communication sent him a signal because he tells me he felt this warm feeling in his body. He had never felt that before. Let me put a pin here and explain.

Our bodies are made up of seven energy centers, called Chakras. Each of these energy centers are responsible for certain functions. I know that my second Chakra located below my navel is my communication center and it is responsible for engaging a mate by sending out signals when it finds a compatible energy so you can, find your soul mate.

Soul mate vs Twin flame

My husband could also be my, twin flame. After 14 years of marriage, I do believe we are mirror souls. What Is A Twin Flame? Sometimes discussed in terms of a “mirror soul” or, soul connection, a, twin flame, is the other half of your, soul. It is theorized that a, soul, can split into two after ascending to a high frequency. Thereafter, the, soul, lands in two different bodies.

I must have also received something from my husband's energy center as well because my thoughts lingered on him. I was curious. That was all that it was for me at that time. Curiosity. I was not actively looking to, find a soul mate.

But I have heard men say that the first time they saw their wife they knew that she was the one. There is such a thing as love at first sight! Have you heard Steve Harvey tell his story of when he met his wife and, how he found his, soul mate?. I don't think he was actively trying to, find your soul mate. But there she was. He was doing stand up comedy and she walked in late with her girlfriends, and he couldn’t stop staring at her. In fact he couldn’t even continue his act. He told her right then that she was going to be his wife! Believe in compatible energy, it is real.

Anyway, back to my story. Because our energies entangled and we both got, good vibes, we looked to further the communication.

The, Soul mate Connection, is Immediate

Another pin. That is why we shouldn't chase men. if you guys have, constructive energy, or, good vibes, they will reach out. We are hard wired to mate. It is all happening without our conscious thought. Your soul is looking for it's, twin flame.

So my husband searched for me on the train every day until he found me. I noticed him sit behind me for a few mins while he got up the nerve to come talk to me. We talked for about 30 mins until I got off the train at my stop. I will confess that I was not impressed by the conversation. He cursed like a sailor. I think that men who curse in front of women have no respect; but when I got off the train my energy body told me that it had made a, soul connection.

I had this incredible feeling of euphoria! My stomach was doing somersaults. I knew right then that we would have a relationship. I knew right then that I had found my, soul mate, This is how you, find your soulmate, you listen to your body.

Three months later he proposed we were married 8 months after. That was 13 years ago and we are still in love, compatible energies!

Soul mate Meaning

This is an example of the science of two, compatible energies, something we have no control over. That is why you have heard people say we have no control over who we love. You can't pick your, soul mate. The science of attraction brings him or her to you.

Your, soul mate meaning, two souls joining together to perfect each other.

On the other hand when your energy is not in sync with other, we get, bad vibes, not your, soul mate. The energy cancels each other out and instead of feeling euphoria you feel depleted.

Energy is your most important reading as a single woman looking for a mate. Ever heard the saying that someone is like an anchor, you can’t thrive since you met them. Pay attention that means that you are not expanding, you are contracting or stuck.

Illustration the Science of, Attraction, the bad vibe

Rhonda met this great guy at a bar. The guy was gorgeous, absolutely delicious. He pursued and seduced her and they started, dating. They had a great time together but something didn’t click. He was kinda, sorta vague on his explanation about everything.

It took about three months of, dating, this guy for Rhonda to discover that he was still living with his daughter’s mother and another 6 months to understand that theirs was an on and off relationship. He would never under any circumstances spend the night, saying that he did not want his daughter to wake up and he was not there. This reminds me of Whitney Houston’s married relationship in Waiting to Exhale!

This is when Rhonda realized that a married man is a married man. They can string you along forever. They can tell you anything. She decided to breakup. The breakup was mutual but she wasted at least 2 years on a relationship that was going nowhere when if she had paid attention to her, bad vibes, she could have saved herself from heartache.

Reading energy is the most important data in the, dating, world.

Be careful of Psychopaths while looking to, find your Soul Mate

Have you ever met a psychopath? Or been in a relationship with one? They are masters at reading energy.

We are all broadcasting a frequency of our most innermost thoughts. That is how a predator picks out his prey.

That is how a mugger chooses his victim.
Animals also know how to read this energy. A lion picks his prey from a flock. He reads the vibration of the weakest prey.

I am sure everyone on the planet is aware on some level of the Art Kelly crimes against teenage girls and women. How do you think he chose his victims? Women who would allow him to disrespect their bodies and lock them up in a room and have to ask to go to the bathroom and ask to eat? Some said that he didn't feed them for 3 days, yet they didn't leave. As one of his victims said in an interview. If you were weak minded, he wants you. You could be a teenager or a 30 year old woman!

Download on Podbean

Science of, attraction, reading vibrations when looking to, find your soul mate?

Synergistic relationships are based on both individuals being on the same wavelength, when they completely understand each other and don't try to limit the space they occupy in each other's lives.

I read an article that stated the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. The examples used was if you train two Belgian horses together, the effect is multiplied: together, they can pull 32,000 pounds. Two horses, doing the work of four, even though it seems to defy physics. Often, in a positive relationship, you’ll find that synergy is already happening.

How can you increase that by finding harmony, in acknowledging individual strengths and how they work best together? For example, I love to shop; but I don’t necessarily like to cook all the time. My husband, will send me a list of all the items to pick up the grocery store and he will cook. I then just have to do keep the kitchen tidy and get the family read to enjoy his great cooking. It works for both of us.

In regards to signs women should look out for in predators, Robert Hare, one of the world’s foremost experts on, psychopathic behavior, believes that people need to know what to do in the event they find themselves involved or associated with a predatory psychopath.

Here are his tips on How to Avoid being targeted by a predator when trying to, find your soulmate:

Be careful of props—the winning smile, the promises, the fast talk, and the gifts meant to deflect you from the manipulation and exploitation that may be occurring. Any of these characteristics can have enormous sleight-of-hand value, serving to distract you.”
Anyone who seems too perfect is. Psychopaths hide their dark sides until they get their target person deeply involved. Too much flattery, feigned kindness, and cracks in grandiose stories should provide clues and put you on your guard. Make reasonable inquiries.
Know yourself—or you might be vulnerable from your blind spots. Predators know how to find and use your triggers, so the more you realize what you tend to fall for, the more closely you can guard against it.

The second stage in the Science of Attraction, is Chemistry

I know you have heard this word thrown around all the time. For example the dating sites match people up by common interests; but they can't manufacture chemistry.

Let's get back to my husband for a minute.

I just shared all about the our first meeting and about us having good vibes but if we had no chemistry we would just become good friends.

Here are the Chemicals released by love that is responsible for Chemistry:

Dopamine – Lights up your pleasure center. Your pleasure goes up when you are near or think about this person. Your motivation goes up, Now you are thinking of that nice house and 2 kids! Your sadness goes down, if you were depressed, you are now happy.

I know you have heard the saying love is blind. It is true. Dopamine make you more attractive to your mate and since we are on this planet to procreate, your sexuality goes up! I am sure you have heard or have personal data that new lovers do it all the time!

The second chemical that is released in love is Oxytocin – Oxytocin is responsible for trust. Your level of trust goes up, and your attachment goes up. This is probably why your girlfriends can’t figure why you are going out with a player; but you don’t see it until your heart is crushed. The psychopath uses this one to his advantage.
Finally Serotonin is released. – This hormone is responsible for all the pain attached to love. Serotonin goes up and you become obsessed with your lover. Love is a chemical addiction!

Thank God I have only had one experience with an over abundance of this hormone.

I met one of my boyfriends at a club and it was an instant attraction. I fell hard. I swooned when he called me baby the next day!

Less than 2 months after we met, we made plans to spend the New Year in Jamaica. He left before Christmas but I wouldn’t leave my kids for Christmas so I made plans to meet him in Jamaica after Christmas. It was the longest week in my entire life. I literally looked at the clock the entire time. I was an addict! I however did not, find my soulmate.

Arifah what can you lend to this conversation from a social worker perspective?

Wow, Myrna glad you spoke about the hormones. I always talk to my clients about increasing their Oxytocin through touch, such as a hug, holding hands, a kiss. Everyone has a sensitive area on the body that causes arousal when touched, whether sexual or just to feel good. It’s important in a relationship to know what your partner likes and does not, to give each other compliments and share tips on how increase synergy between each other. It’s important to always reminisce on moments, like when you first met, knew you were in love and what you admire about one another now. All of this, helps build connection.

In general the most salient characteristics for chemistry between two people are mutual interest (reciprocal candor, reasonableness, intimacy,

Similarity, and physical attraction.

Here are some questions from my Life Coach group on Facebook on How to, Find your Soul mate?

Remember you have an open invitation to join this group to get answers from the group on any of your struggles in life.

Question from Velma: I would like to, find your soul mate, but most men in my age group 60, want a traditional woman to cook and clean and a man to think for her. I’m not a traditional woman and I’m tired of pretending to be helpless. How do we as women maneuver in a world of the insecure man?

My answer – be both cake and ice-cream. Sometimes you are soft like ice cream and sometimes you are in charge and embrace your masculine energy and be cake.

What’s your answer Arifah

Keep doing what you love and make yourself a priority to level up.

Question from Elizabeth:

Should I be looking to, find your soul mate, of just someone to keep me warm at night?

When you are in your fifties and you have to start all over dating, do you date to find a husband or should you be okay with someone to keep you warm at night.

My answer- Someone to keep you warm at night. Women over 40 have a very slim chance of finding a husband, but you can definitely, find your soul mate!

What’s your answer Arifah?

Its up to you, based on what you are looking for in the present. Dating, can work either way, based on what you end up wanting.

Arifah is the Founder and Program Director of Lifted by Purpose.

Lifted by Purpose Provides a diverse range of services to organizations seeking trainings, workshops or programs with the intent to engage youth in conversations about mental health and learn practical strategies to cope with life stressors. Including:

Anger Management
Healthy Relationships
Mental Health Education and Coping Skills
Youth Engagement and
Mental Health First Aid Training

Located at 180 Shaw St, suite 201, Toronto, Ont. Phone # 416-391-5270

Additional Resources for, How to Find your Soulmate

http://blog.myhelps.us/sex-and-spiritual-energy-the-tree-of-life/

Is the Secret to Love, Sex?

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/

How To Use Vibrational Energy For Attraction

https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/

Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, positive change, purpose, transform your mind

Six Holistic Ways to Find your Purpose

December 1, 2020 Myrna Young

Are you on a quest to, find your purpose? It is the only way to find fulfillment and the secret to happiness. Dr. Ken Keis shares six holistic approaches or benchmarks in your quest for, purpose.

Intro to our topic:

Dr. Ken Keis, is a highly sought-after author, speaker, trainer, podcast host, and TV and media guest. His latest books include: Why Aren't You More Like Me?, Deliberate Leadership, and The Quest For Purpose.

A story on how to find your purpose

So many people listening have been trapped down a pathway that was really sort of conditioned from their background. I woke one morning and asked myself if this was what I wanted to be doing in 20 years from now, and the answer was no. So, I immediately took action. I decided to quit farming and hired a coach to help me figure out what I wanted to do in life. My, quest to, find my purpose, began. What was my purpose in life? The answer, to help others to live, lead and work on purpose. This is the question to, find your purpose.

My coach passed away from cancer many years ago now, and I just took his process and then added and enhanced it. Basically it was a self-discovery narrative and an interactive sort of process to, find your purpose.

What are the six Holistic approaches to, find your purpose?

A lot of times what happens people don't realize their, purpose, because the question is too big. It's overwhelming and what we're trying to do here is get people to fine tune all the components of their life to go to the next level.

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Benchmarks to Finding your Purpose

So let's go through these benchmarks to, find your purpose.

1. First Benchmark is, Personal Style, CRG is an assessment company. In our quest to, find your purpose, one of our assessments is called “the personal style indicator.” We believe that we are all born with a certain Personal style. Not right not wrong and we develop and we change and we mature in life but our personal style never changes. Myrna is the same Myrna from 10 years ago. In other words Myrna can wake up in the morning and still count on Myrna being Myrna.

2. Biophysical Influences, like Health concerns, physical and mental disabilities. The statistics of North American health is that 75 to 80 percent of people are unwell at some level and another 50 percent are diabetic or pre-diabetic. So there's no way if I am thinking of, finding my purpose, if I'm sick. I don't have energy, I have chronic fatigue syndrome, I have immunity disorder or whatever is going on. 90 to 95 percent of all illness is lifestyle related. In my quest to, find my purpose, I need to take my body and treat it well. If I have a racehorse and I don't take care of that racehorse and then try to have it win the Kentucky Derby, it’s not going to happen.

Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

3. Self-worth – What you think of yourself. We have another assessment called “the self-worth inventory” to, find your purpose, our confidence levels highly influence the decisions we make or not make. So maybe you actually have an idea of your, purpose, but you don't have the courage to step into it.

4. Environmental systems – Schools , workplace, culture. We are a product of our environment. If I grew up in Florida versus LA or New York, Toronto or Vancouver versus Afghanistan, I'm going to have a different perspective on life and possibly a different path to, find my purpose.

5. Social Teachers – Parents, teachers, pastors As a kid you you very curious. You watched how your parents interacted, they're teaching you how to treat others. The songs you listened to there's now linkage towards violence and video games. In your quest to, find your purpose, be aware of what you’re letting in, who you’re working with, who are nurturing your personal relationships.

6. Emotional Anchors or triggers – Divorce, physical and verbal abuse, death of a loved one are all triggers. Any kind of event in life that causes either positive or negative associations becomes a trigger. Every single person listening or reading has triggers. You had an event in life that creates an emotional response. This goes back to a trigger that has been anchored, in many cases these triggers are subconscious. In your quest to, find your purpose, you don't realize your, purpose, because you’re angry. You can also have unforgiveness. You have not really released yourself of this traumatic event. I had my girlfriend when I was 21 years old murdered by a friend of mine. If I didn’t let go of that event from 1982, it would affect me forever.

7. Spirituality, – This is a bonus because it covers everything. We are spiritual beings have a human experience. All of these seven benchmarks, come together to develop the whole person. They are essential in our quest to, find your purpose. That's why developing all these areas is critic to finding your, life purpose.

Transform your mind iTunes link

Because we are spiritual beings having a human experience, our thoughts are so powerful. What you believe is the environment in which you live. Dr Bruce Lipton talks about the fact and the fact that our perceptions affects our reality.

Spirituality, is also consciously spending time developing yourself. It is a fact that you create your world. Most of us believe that we are product of circumstances; but if you believe that you actually can design and create your world, that's what you will create. So yes, spirituality, the spiritual part of you is very important to, finding your purpose.

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Conclusion

Very powerful conversation with Dr. Ken Keis. Dr Keis is the author of “The Quest for Purpose” A self-discovery process to find it and live it!
To listen to the full episode, download on iTunes, Google play, Sticher, TuneIn radio, iHeart radio.

To quickly summarize, Dr. Keis gave us seven personality development models called benchmarks, that can help you in your quest to, find your purpose, we talked about personality style, we talked about wellness and stress and how it affects how you show up in life, we talked about, self-worth and self-confidence. How that affects what you go after. We talked about the, environmental systems, where you were born and what your parents expect you to become. We talked about, social teachers, the news and our, emotional triggers. If something bad happened to you a lot of times, people can't get over it. This event hijacks them and it controls most of their thinking.

We talked about, spirituality, which is all-encompassing because we are spiritual beings and what we believe, has one of the most predominant effects in your quest to, find your purpose.

Download a FREE eBook version of Dr Ken Keis book “The Quest for Purpose”

Remember to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, iHeart radio, and please leave a review if you find this podcast Helps you Live Your Best Lives Now!

Additional Resources:
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-awaken-to-your-souls-purpose/
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-can-millennials-find-their-purpose/
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-a-diamond-by-finding-your-purpose/
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-lifted-by-your-purpose/
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-quest-for-purpose_b_6575194
https://www.forbes.com/sites/danpontefract/2016/02/04/the-story-of-candice-and-her-quest-for-purpose-at-work/

coaching, Executive Coaching, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, mindset, Mindset Transformation, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, transform your mind

A New Business Strategy: Increasing Your Capacity

August 24, 2020 Myrna Young

As a Business Coach, I kept getting clients who kept hitting a plateau with, business strategy. They hired experts to help them figure out the right business model, to surpass this plateau or ceiling; but they kept hitting this ceiling, nothing was working. It reminded me of my own, capacity, issue.~~~Lisa Fabrega

In this interview I speak with to Lisa Fabrega, leadership coach on the topic It's not your, business strategy, it's your, capacity.

Listen to Full Interview

Introduction to Capacity

Myrna – What I love about this topic is references one of my favorite quotes

You are the Lid! You can only go as far as your, capacity, for growth.

So the headline It's not your, business strategy, it is your, capacity, for growth resonates with me.

Lisa as a Business coach, How did you stumble on the concept that what's was holding your clients back was not their, business strategy, or goals but their, capacity?

Lisa – Great question I stumbled upon this concept very early on in my coaching practice.

I was actually was a health coach working with clients on nutrition. I noticed from my first couple of clients weren't talking about food, instead it was their, capacity, was the focus.

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My clients were very ambitious and had already achieved a lot and yet they were hitting a plateau or something wasn't working anymore. They couldn't figure out what it was even though they were very smart people, so they'd throw a bunch of, business strategy, at the problem.

When, business strategy, didn’t work, they would hire experts to figure out the right business model, to surpass this plateau or ceiling. But they kept hitting this ceiling, nothing was working. It reminded me of my own, capacity, issue.

Four years ago I had a, capacity, issue. My coaching packages were sold out, I had a huge wait list. I was overwhelmed with requests and I didn't have the, capacity, for it at the time. One thing I always say to my clients is if Oprah called you tomorrow, are you ready? Do you have the, capacity, to handle that influx of new business?

I thought this must be a, business strategy, problem instead of diagnosing it correctly that I had a, capacity, issue. I couldn't hold handle or receive what was coming my way on many levels, so I went and invested a ton of money in a new, business strategy, and a funnel and I ended up a hundred thousand dollars in debt.

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Myrna – I would make the same decision. I immediately would think I needed to add more staff or something that's probably what you did right?

Lisa – I added more staff, I hired a huge expansion team, I started a whole new funnel! It was the most stressful year of my life because I did not sleep that entire year. I was so stressed out about the money and the debt.

After doing some real deep self-reflection about what actually caused that problem, I started to noticing my conversations with my clients who also had, business strategy, issues. I realized that It was not a, business strategy, issue but a, capacity, issue.

Myrna – Obviously you need, business strategy; but you also need the, capacity, to get there; so how did you transition your clients to look at their, capacity, not their, business strategy?

Six areas of building capacity

Lisa – I realized that there are six areas of, capacity. I drilled it down to six because everything kind of falls under these, capacity, areas that we tend to struggle with as ambitious and successful people.

Money capacity – What’s your, money capacity? Score yourself from zero to ten. Are you earning enough, saving and investing larger and larger amounts of money every year? If you answered No, then ask yourself why not?
Visibility capacity – visibility capacity is your ability to allow all of you to be fully seen in your work. So many people hide little bits of themselves from their brand and from their clients and then end up with a misalignment. A lot of my women clients who come to me and tell me they're drained, it's not that they're overworked or have the wrong, business strategy; the burnout is not because of that, it's because they're hiding these parts of themselves and it's so exhausting to have to constantly hide and not be transparent.
Purpose capacity – purpose capacity is when your inside matches your outside. Your, business strategy, is lined up with your true purpose. You can’t start a business just because it has the potential to make you lots of money. Your business must also line up with your values and purpose.
Embodiment capacity – embodiment capacity is your emotional, spiritual, mental and physical capacity. If you were to get up on a stage in front of a thousand people and it drains the life force out of you to the point that you're exhausted and have to recover for two days, you have an, embodiment capacity, issue. If somebody leaves a nasty comment on your Instagram post and you are just like freaked out and hiding for two weeks, you have an, embodiment capacity, issue.
Structural capacity – I call this also your foundation capacity. What are the foundations that are holding you up or lifting you up to your next level? What systems or, business strategy, do you have at home, or at work to hold you up?
Boundary capacity – boundary capacity is about being clear about who you are. It's not just boundaries with other people, it's boundaries with yourself; because sure you could work 10 hours today but is actually going to serve where you're going? Should you instead get some rest? That's setting a boundary with yourself.

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How to Expand your Capacity: your New Business Strategy

Myrna – What can women do to expand their capacity for growth, wealth and success?

Lisa – It starts with knowing how they score on the six capacities.

It will tell you what the real problem is because the biggest roadblock we experience when trying to expand our, capacity, is that we misdiagnose the actual problem.

If women don't get clear and score themselves in these areas, they might think they have a structural issue or a strategic issue and don't realize that it’s actually a, money capacity.

Why does our energy level affect our Capacity

Myrna – One of the things I wanted to ask you about is this, embodiment capacity. You said we can subconsciously drain our energy and power thus lowering our, capacity; explain that a little.

Lisa – I think that some of the ways that we unconsciously drain our power is through what I call emotional labor. Women particularly do this a lot and that's actually part of an, embodiment capacity, issue. I have a great example. One of my clients told her husband would ask her every week after she would put the towels away, where's the such-and-such towel and she'd say “it's in the closet with the towels” and he would say. “I don't see it” and she'd have to walk over to the closet and the towel would be right there.

This went on every week until she told him she was not doing any more emotional labor, that he can find the damm towel himself, she was no longer going to get up from what she was doing to find the towel for him.

This is a great example of tiny ways that we do emotional labor without realizing that we are being drained. These little leaks, I call them little power leaks leave you exhausted. You wonder why you're exhausted and burned out and it has nothing to do with your, business strategy, we have to be mindful of our energy. It’s being drained from emotional labor with our family, friends and even clients.

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Myrna – So true, women especially the care-giving kind of woman are always doing things for other people and then they emotionally drain themselves and then they don't have the energy to do anything for some themselves which is why the self-care movement is becoming so popular.

If you're emotionally drained, it limits your, capacity, we can't operate within our full capacity if our battery is drained.

Four keys to unlock Capacity: Your New Business Strategy

Pleasure – pleasure can be whatever it means to you, it could be taking a walk in the park, it could be taking a break, getting in the tub, getting some nice smelling lotion and rubbing it on your hands. Making sure to have those pleasure breaks because it’s like refueling your tank. Allow your, business strategy, to be your best self.
Eat Whole Foods – According to Ayurveda, it is very important to eat foods that are natural and pure for their full benefit to be absorbed by the body. When foods are as close to their state in nature as possible, that's when they deliver the most potent nutrition. Foods that have been genetically altered, processed or refined have much of their natural intelligence stripped from them, disturb the intellect and the coordination and lowers our, capacity .
Manage stress levels – We live in difficult times. Stress and anxiety, whether caused by time pressures or difficult work relationships, stress can have a significant negative impact on mental performance. A calm mind, serene and centered in its equilibrium, is unquestionably superior in terms of focus, attention span, retention of knowledge and problem-solving ability. It is important to manage stress before it becomes a severe problem, because stress has been known to damage or destroy brain cells, and many prescription pills for anxiety can have side effects that can further erode mental performance and, capacity. a new, business strategy, manage your stress.
Get adequate, quality sleep – Related to stress is the other plague of modern society — lack of deep, restful sleep. With diet and lifestyle, sleep is a fundamental pillar of increasing your, capacity. Optimal physical and mental performance is impossible if sleep is not addressed. Getting eight hours of sleep is less important than striving for quality sleep, which occurs when the mind is totally disconnected from the senses. Quality sleep recharges and rejuvenates the mind, improving both short-term and long-term mental prowess as well as your, capacity for growth.

Myrna – I understand that you have a capacity in crisis virtual workshop.

Lisa – First of all I have an amazing free gift for your listeners. To get your Free Gift head over to my website at www.lisafabrega.com.

You can also sign up for my newsletter it’s actually an entire video series that I call the, capacity conversations. It's like binging on Netflix except you get to binge and expand your, capacity, instead of numbing your mind.

You get a series of free videos that walk you through all the capacities and help you diagnose what your capacity issue might be holding you back.

Myrna – I want to introduce a contest this week. The prize is a gift card from one of our sponsors hbnaturals.com. One of you lucky listeners will get this $25 gift card for subscribing to either the Transform Your Mind iTunes podcast or subscribing to the Transform Your Mind podcast Youtube channel. Once you subscribe send me an email to info@myhelps.us with your contact information and if you are the winner, you will get this gift card to purchase any of the products on hbnatures.com coffee, skincare products, tea, CBD oil, super-foods, essential oils, pet products and more.

I want to invite you all to join my private Facebook group called life coach, this group has lots of life coaches giving daily inspiration and tips to live your best like now.

Additional Resources

How to Find your Passion Purpose and Freedom as a Mompreneur

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-world-of-the-entrepreneur/

https://www.moneycarer.org.uk/useful-information/capacity-assessment-for-money-management.html

blog, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, transform your mind

Successful But Unfulfilled? How to Get Back to Basics

August 10, 2020 Myrna Young

The foundation to getting, back to basics, is fulfillment. People don’t just want income, they want impact and they want freedom. People searching for, fulfillment, are often buying the cultural lie which is you'll find, fulfillment, through income. Hidden in that lie is this idea that, fulfillment, lies somewhere in money.

Listen to the full interview

TJ Loeffler shares tips and strategies on the topic Successful but Unfulfilled, getting Back to Basics. TJ is a best-selling author of the new book “Getting Back to Basics”

This interview on the Transform your Mind podcast covers the fundamentals of living your life the way that you purposed it. How to live your best life now with some simple little tweaks by getting, back to basics.

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Introduction to Getting, Back to Basics

TJ Loeffler is a founder, speaker, coach and advisor. After a personal awakening and a decade long journey of life transformation he now uses his gifts in speaking and coaching to share
Lessons from his story. TJ’s personal mission is to help people be free, get healthy and stay wealthy. Not just financially but spiritually by getting, back to basics.

TJ Loeffler – the first thing that I’ll say about Jesus being at the center of my transformation and
the change in my life is one of the things I heard

God makes the trees and we make the tables.

It's a very powerful way to think about God's role in our lives and more importantly our role in his life. What I mean by that is he provides and it's up to us to meet our potential, so if he has the promise, we have the potential. I give God the credit and specifically Jesus for the revelation.

Successful but Unfulfilled – Getting Back to Basics

The changes that have happened in my life are really stemming from a change that happened in my heart. I was successful but unfulfilled working at Goldman Sachs, a well-known investment bank. I was on the trading floor on wall street making a great income but I was unfulfilled.

You see I had been driven my whole life to perform and achieve, because I had low self-esteem.
I had low self-esteem, because I had a subconscious belief that I was abandoned or neglected at birth. I was adopted.
I had never really come to the place where I had accepted my own story, because I had never really gone through the process of healing. My relationship with God allowed me to release the feeling of low self-worth and embrace my life.
Everything hit me in terms of the understanding who you are when my father was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and the supernatural started speaking into my life.

After facing a lot of adversity, I started coaching to help others and my company Loeffler international was founded.

Are Overachievers Unfulfilled?

Myrna – That's awesome why do you think that some overachievers are still unfulfilled?

In my coaching experience I found that there was a lot of overachievers who are making money, they're successful in their marriages, they've got a couple of boxes that they can check; but they still this emptiness inside.

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How Getting, Back to Basics can help you become fulfilled.

TJ Loeffler – it's a great question and I'm going to make this super practical and it does relate to, back to basics, the book that is coming out this summer.

The foundation to getting, back to basics, is fulfillment. People don’t just want income, they want impact and they want freedom. People searching for, fulfillment, are often buying the cultural lie which is you'll find, fulfillment, through income. Hidden in that lie is this idea that fulfillment lies somewhere in money.
But then people who start making money realize wait I need to do something meaningful with my life, so then they start a non-profit or do something to make an impact on the world. Then they realize that they can’t help everybody in the world.
Then they realize wait I need inner freedom and finances don't bring me freedom! Money just magnifies the state you're already in. If you're a sad person, money can make you extra sad. So getting, back to basics looks at your inner world.
• Forgiveness – forgiveness sets us free. There's a lot of people who follow Jesus; but haven't had the revelation of Jesus in their heart, which is full freedom. In other words they still live hanging on to the weight of their past and that's not living in freedom that's living in self-condemnation.
• Health – there are a lot of really spiritual people who are functionally unhealthy and so underneath all that income still, unfulfilled. They can be making an impact; but if they're not healthy no, fulfillment.

Does Money equal Fulfillment?

Myrna – I want to circle back to one of the most poignant things you said. People think that income equals, fulfillment. That is such a lie and it's really sad to see the, unfulfilled, people with lots of money like the stars who have millions of dollars and all the fans and then they realize that all that doesn't make them, fulfilled.

TJ Loeffler – One thing I would add is getting, back to basics, means that when you think about money the gift is with the giver and so generosity is one of the tools to greater joy; but generosity can also be an outpouring of guilt. So if you don't have gratitude in your heart and you feel guilty for privilege and money, then you are back to being, unfulfilled.

Myrna – In your book, back to basics, you talk about the idea of having the right foundation for,
Fulfillment. What is that foundation?

What's the core of, Back to Basics

TJ Loeffler – At the core of, Back to Basics, is this idea of the foundation to, fulfillment.

We were talking about health being the foundation layer in getting, back to basics, because
people that I've experienced this in my own life have gone through a health transformation including myself. You can't end burnout of 10 years with poor lifestyle choices in 24 hours.
People want to have conversation with our coaching team to find out what truly makes them happy and how to get, back to basics, without changing their mindset.

The foundation to, fulfillment, is to overcome indecision and paralysis from analysis and anxiety. There are functional changes you need to make in your life, not just the mindset shifts which are
Core. Just like your philosophy, transform your mind, to, transform your life, we believe that mindset comes before strategy or tactics.

If you have pressures in your life and you're not taking care of your body, I don't care how you
Look visually, it's going to affect you mentally, emotionally spiritually. It's going to affect you and all these areas of life.

Getting, back to basics, is as simple as starting your day with lemon water. You have to start your day hydrating your body and specifically with lemon water because your body is
Detoxifying.

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There are six Core Pillars to getting, Back to Basics.

Myrna – is that your foundation to getting, back to basics?

TJ Loeffler – there are six core pillars to the foundation. When we think about health we break it up into these six things:
• Diet
• Sleep
• Movement
• Active rest
• Reflection and
• Connection

These six pillars are how I grew my business. These six things are also how I changed my life functionally. There were things that I was facing in my life, a lot of difficulty. I believe some of it was spiritual, some of it was really practical. I was burned out, so I hadn't changed my mindset around productivity, around balance, around energy, I wouldn’t have found the recipe for getting, back to basics.

Pride comes before the fall and I definitely fell. I felt my pride took me to fall several times.

If God makes the trees and we make the tables, the tree is the body. He made this body.
I'm a spiritual being in this body. Our body keeps the score and we're losing. Our body is telling us we have to look at ourselves and say I've neglected nutrition in my life.

I have to start thinking not diet; but my relationship with food and how my body processes the food. If i don't have active rest in my life then I'm in constant sympathetic tone or fight or flight or free state and then my body diverts all the blood away from my digestive system. Now I can't process the kale and salmon that I'm eating all the time and I think I'm healthy; but the reality is I'm in constant state of chronic stress or anxiety, so my body doesn't process the nutrition I an eating.

How does Active Rest take us, Back to Basics?

Myrna – Is active rest Meditation?

TJ Loeffler – meditation is one leg of active rest. Here's the key with meditation. You can empty
Yourself; but are you filling yourself with the right things? Otherwise you're just walking around with an empty bin.

Active rest is really about helping your body move from sympathetic tone to what's called parasympathetic tone. I think of it like a light dimmer not a light switch.
People are walking about their day being triggered by trauma that happened in their life and not even knowing that they're being triggered. How many people are aware that they're in a chronic state of fight or flight? How many people are aware of that and so recognize shallow mouth breathing as stress? All this is part of getting, back to basics.

Myrna – all the foundational things you're talking about are things that I know that people can actually use to become better themselves and when they become better themselves, then everything else on the exterior becomes better. So, back to basics, it's basic a perfect book.

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How can these Core Pillars help Overachievers have, Fulfillment?

Back to Basics, is a collection of the six core pillars.

Everything you do it starts as a discipline before it becomes a desire; but the reality is you can really start to enjoy your life when you when you like the way you look, when you like the way you feel. You start realizing it’s probably all the good choices that I've been making to engage with my body in a different way that is making me feel good.

I check my relationship with food
Analyse my relationship with sleep

What people are really looking for is, fulfillment, in life, in other words they have made an
agreement that work will provide, fulfillment. I spoke with a client yesterday, who said, I need a new career. I don't have a career that gives me, fulfillment, and I said a career is not where you find, fulfillment. It may be a contributor but it can’t give you, fulfillment.

Myrna – I agree change starts with you, it's within your power.

How to Change your Life Right Now by Getting, Back to Basics

What's one of the first and most important things someone can do to begin changing their life right now?

A lot of people want to put things off until they've checked this box or they get married or got this new job. They always put off happiness; but we know as coaches that anything that you want to do, this is the right time. Now is the right time so what can somebody do right now to begin changing their lives?

TJ Loeffler – Besides lemon water every morning which is recommended in the book, back to basics, do things that make you feel and look better. They can also hire a coach. Coaches can help people to find, fulfillment, within. I found is coaches really accelerate the process and the good ones are going to be able to hold a mirror up to you.

They're going to be able to help you see something differently in order to make practical change in your life. But I can hold a mirror but if you're not willing to let go and let God in, if you're not willing to give permission, if you're still trying to hold on and have control over every area of your life, including your own perception.

If you want to hold on to the pain of your past, if you want to hold on to the things that have happened to you that you are still the victim, it's really going to be hard to make changes. I don't care how many coaches you hire, you won’t find, fulfillment. You have got to do the work.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Conclusion

The first part of the book, Back to Basics, is really about helping people be open. If you're not open, if your mind's not open, your heart's not open. Your mind is a reflection of your heart.

Myrna – How can listeners connect with you and order a copy of your book, Back to Basics?
They can order from my website corepillers.com.

We do have a boot camp. We do have health coaching, VIP days and a number of other options for people. If you're at a place in your life where you're really looking to make a change and
that's our prerequisite, we're looking for people who are resourceful, teachable and ready for
change NOW. Not six months from now.

Here are the links to TJ site
Website Site: tjloeffler.com

Book: corepillars.com

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Additional Resources Getting Back to Basics

Transform Your Mind Personal Development podcast.

How to Transform your Career with Purpose

https://www.artofliving.org/us-en/meditation/srisri-meditation/deep-rest-meditation

Introduction to Z-isms or life lessons

Gratitude is the best life lesson for Personal Growth

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Beware of the Spiders life lesson

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What kind of, z-isms, or , life lessons, do you coach?

Conclusion Z-isms Life Lessons

Additional Resources

Introduction to Life by Design

Author of our Own Lives

Additional resources

How did Rocky end up in Prison

Life in Boot Camps

Did life in these book camps train you for Prison?

Does a prison sentence reform the inmate?

Selling Drugs in Prison

Planning your life while inside Prison

Statistics of repeat offenders Recidivism to prison

Planning a successful business from Prison

Conclusion

Additional Resources

Introduction Core Beliefs

Here is a quote from Tony Robbins that explains the power of, core beliefs,:

Examples of, Positive Core Beliefs

Are you rejecting love because of your, core belief?

Here is A Self-Awareness Exercise to help you understand Your, Core Beliefs,

Additional resources:

Our Cognitive Bias: Construction Of The Self-Concept

Observation turns the wave, infinite possibility, into a particle.

Your, Vortex, represents your Law of Attraction

Dr Martin Luther King Jr, I have a dream speech sees the, infinite possibility, of race

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Additional Resources

Keith's story of his Guardian Angel

Guardian Angels and Its a Wonderful Life Movie

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Does everyone have a, Guardian Angel?

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Here is how you invite your, Guardian Angel, to do more for you

What is the message that like your readers to take away about, Guardian Angels, from your book “Walking with Angels”

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What is the difference between a, Guardian Angel, and, Archangels,

Introduction

How to, Find your Soul mate, the Science of Attraction

How Chemistry plays in finding your Soul Mate

Soul mate vs Twin flame

The, Soul mate Connection, is Immediate

Soul mate Meaning

Illustration the Science of, Attraction, the bad vibe

Be careful of Psychopaths while looking to, find your Soul Mate

Science of, attraction, reading vibrations when looking to, find your soul mate?

Here are his tips on How to Avoid being targeted by a predator when trying to, find your soulmate:

The second stage in the Science of Attraction, is Chemistry

Here are the Chemicals released by love that is responsible for Chemistry:

Here are some questions from my Life Coach group on Facebook on How to, Find your Soul mate?

Additional Resources for, How to Find your Soulmate

A story on how to find your purpose

What are the six Holistic approaches to, find your purpose?

Benchmarks to Finding your Purpose

Conclusion

Introduction to Capacity

Six areas of building capacity

How to Expand your Capacity: your New Business Strategy

Why does our energy level affect our Capacity

Four keys to unlock Capacity: Your New Business Strategy

Introduction to Getting, Back to Basics

Successful but Unfulfilled – Getting Back to Basics

Are Overachievers Unfulfilled?

How Getting, Back to Basics can help you become fulfilled.

Does Money equal Fulfillment?

What's the core of, Back to Basics

There are six Core Pillars to getting, Back to Basics.

How does Active Rest take us, Back to Basics?

How can these Core Pillars help Overachievers have, Fulfillment?

How to Change your Life Right Now by Getting, Back to Basics

Conclusion

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