Why a Healthy Lifestyle is Important to Fight COVID-19

Have a Healthy Lifestyle During covid-19

This week on the Transform your Mind Podcast, Wildly Alive coach Nichole Wurth shares how having a, healthy lifestyle, could help you fight COVID-19 coronavirus and become BFF’s with your body.

What was your journey into becoming  passionate about a, healthy lifestyle.

I was raised on Hamburger Helper and mac and cheese.  I didn’t know the basics of nourishing your body or a healthy lifestyle.  That  was not something that was taught to me, so I got out of high school and I gained some weight.  I did what most women do.  I started dieting. I wouldn’t say that I had a big-time body image issues or self-esteem issues going into that whole experience; but after every diet  I started to realize it took out a chunk of my self-esteem.

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So after years of dieting if you would have looked at my body you would have thought damn she’s got it going on she’s so fit she’s so healthy. I want her body, I want her, healthy lifestyle.   But in all reality even though I looked like I was living a, healthy lifestyle,  I was an absolute mess inside.

I had disordered eating and disordered exercising and I was so lost in trying to have a, healthy lifestyle, I didn’t even see it I was I was obsessed with what I was going to eat and what I couldn’t eat. I was strategizing with every bite.  It was strategy all the time.  I was still deeply unhappy because before living this, healthy lifestyle,  I blamed all my unhappiness and the reason why I don’t have a boyfriend, the reason why I don’t have a fulfilling job, or the reason why I don’t have …fill in the blank, was because of my body.

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It’s very common for women to blame everything on their body,  so now that I had lost the weight and I look fit and healthy and living a, healthy lifestyle, I no longer had anything to blame for my unhappiness.  So again even though you would look at me and you think wow she’s an inspiration,  honestly I was lost from disordered eating and disordered exercising.  Most people they don’t even see it, and they’re broken.  That’s how diet culture works.  Diet culture intentionally breaks you, breaks your trust with yourself, so then you need a diet all the time.

That’s how I was for years.  I didn’t trust myself without the guidelines, without the rules and other restrictions.  I went through that whole journey. I lost the weight and I was worse than I was before I started that journey.

I start moving into like exploring okay how can I find happiness and freedom and a, healthy lifestyle, at the same time because dieting does not get you happiness and freedom.  It feels very caged.  That’s the philosophy of the wildly alive coaching program. I started coming up with this idea that your body is a living, breathing, feeling thing just like a plant.  So if I went into my office every day and looked at my plants and said to them, you’re ugly and you’re not good enough and you need to try harder.  I would have sent negative energy to them right they would rebel and not thrive.

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I think that’s where most women are.  They look at their body as just this thing that’s hanging on them, that’s never right and will never be right, and they’re constantly abusing it.  If you want to call it abuse or not, it really is, because you probably would never talk to your best friend that way or even your enemy.  That is when I started really looking into instead of creating change from a place of shame, which diet culture teaches, if you just hate your body enough then you can change it shifting that to respect base change.  learning how to respect our body as we are changing and reshaping it. The Ketogenic Diet is the new popular diet plan.

Food plays a very important part in our body image and women in particular, maybe even men. Men drink, women eat! I’m not sure, but a lot of times if you have emotional problems it shows up in what you eat.  And yeah when you go to the gym, and you have a really nice body, that’s on the outside. You could still feel shame inside.

A lot of women could identify with, you’re overweight and you buckled down and lost the weight, they are now living a, healthy lifestyle, they go to the gym every day, they eat right and embrace,  healthy living,  so where is the reward. Where is the boyfriend or husband?

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When did your, Healthy Lifestyle, start?

I gained all  kinds of weight at the end of high school because I was in the industry and I was eating a lot of jalapeno, mayonnaise and French fries. It was like my favorite combination with  Big Mac.  The whole the whole world globally, we’re looking at the, coronavirus, and at, COVID-19, and everybody including all the health experts are now on talking about a, healthy lifestyle,  because what we’re all now acutely aware that if you have a healthy immune system then you can probably get over this, coronavirus, illness. My, healthy  lifestyle, programs started  before people became conscious of, healthy living.   A, healthy lifestyle, is  being wildly alive!

 I wanted to create something like a like a bridge between the, covid-19, pandemic and, healthy living.  I’m telling my clients right now is first and foremost and this is the basis of wildly alive coaching,  is your mind is the most powerful muscle in your body and so just like with dieting.

And the constant feeling of stress, you have to change from the inside.

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When I was dieting, I was constantly stressed, I was afraid of butter.  I was afraid of red meat and so on and so on. Even though according to my little calorie counting notebook, I was eating

all of the right things; because I was so stressed over the food, that I was unhealthy. Stressing about everything you put into your mouth is not a, healthy lifestyle.

Feminine approach Healthy Lifestyle
Feminine approach Healthy Lifestyle

What is the Feminine approach to a Healthy Lifestyle

This is a respect based approach to, healthy living. If I can help show you how awesome your body is, and how it’s doing so many things right now, in this moment, then what will start to happen is, you’ll start to recognize that your body is always talking to you.  She’s always speaking to you.  She can guide you on the best things to eat and the best ways to move and how to thrive in this whole self-care thing.  You don’t need a plan, you don’t need somebody telling you what to eat and how to exercise and what to do to feel happy, your body can tell you all of that.

We live in this Western society that just cuts you off at the head and makes you think that all your body is or something you manipulate, that’s all it is it’s just this mass, that has no voice or no wisdom.  So when you start opening up the lines of communication with your body, you start to listen to it. You start to feel really good.  It is just like when you get a cut you don’t have to look at the cut and be like okay white blood cells come do your thing. No the white blood cells are on it. They start forming a scab around the cut and the processes of healing begins.

Our bodies are so smart that we can’t even conceptualize and wrap our mind around all the brilliance of our body.  So if I can teach you some of that, and I can show you how awesome your body is and how she is here to guide you.  She’s here to guide yourself care and, healthy lifestyle, and  she’s also here to guide you on your life choices.

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The feminine approach is really is a woman’s 28-day cycle if you’re menstruating.  As women we have a 28-day cycle and that 28-day cycle mirrors the moon.  There’s four phases within our 28-day cycle and also within the moon cycle.  Those four phases also mirror the four seasons of the planet. A, healthy lifestyle, includes following your cycle.

For example just to make this really simplified, when you’re bleeding it is the New Moon phase.

When we’re having our period we tend to be more hibernating, we’re not as extroverted.  This is our introverted time.  This is the time when we reflect and restore.  This is our winter time so if you’re ever confused you just look at the season the new moon. So when you’re bleeding doing a high intense workout it’s probably not the best thing for your body.  If you’re on hormonal birth control or you’re not having your period,  just start tracking the moon and your body will start syncing up with it.

Vice versa the full moon  is your ovulation or summer phase.  You are hyper energized.  There’s lots of growth, there’s lots of expansion, there’s lots of extroverted energy and so this is a really good time in terms of movement. Now is the time for that high intensity workout or doing that new salsa high intensity class.

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Ask Coach Myrna: How to Start Over?

Wildly Alive  self-care and, Healthy lifestyle, coaching program

Shame -based change is by telling yourself you can’t have those things and you’re a bad person if you eat those things, so just to flip this on the head a little bit and think about it from a respect based change.  I always tell my clients I would never tell them they can’t eat things ever unless they have an allergy to something,  that’s a whole different conversation. Telling yourself you can’t eat bread because this study says that bread is bad for you.  I don’t think that’s enough to really shift into respect based change.  I’m a huge believer in moderation.  I think a little bit of everything is okay.  So have the bread or have the beer, really sit and enjoy it.  If your body starts to say to you, I feel bloated every time I drink a beer, then make some changes. Drink half a beer or try a different beer.

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Reflection 4 Rejection

Here are the mechanics for a,  healthy lifestyle, during covid-19

  • trying keeping the energy light in our house
  • limit media, limit the news because it is mostly negative
  • have a lot of sunlight.
  • getting outside and connecting with nature. Being in nature boosts your immune system. I also love to bring nature into my house. I have lots of my salt lamps.
  • Do some sort of movement on a regular basis. It could be going out for a walk, it could be yoga, it could be bike riding. Exercise calms your nerves.
  • drink a lot of water
  • increasing your vitamin C intake. I’ve been making this lemon ginger juice.
  • stay open to the lessons of the, covid-19, pandemic
  • be grateful for what you have and for your family
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I read somewhere that you were disappointed in Oprah. Please share why that is.

I would to preface this statement with I do love Oprah. I love her in so many different ways as a woman, as a woman of color.  She is breaking the mold and I love her for so many reasons; but a few weeks ago, I was watching an interview with her in Lady Gaga and she’s on stage and they were talking about mental health and I loved it. I was like yes I love this conversation they’re about mental health, this is such an important part of health right now. But then I started seeing  WW everywhere and I was like what is WW? It was  Weight Watchers and I was so devastated in that moment because Weight Watchers is diet culture.  It’s the epitome of diet culture.  They were having this beautiful conversation about mental health and calorie counting. Weight Watchers has been proven to be mentally unhealthy. It was so sad.

I still love Oprah, I know she’s human.  I know she’s flawed.  I forgive her.

Do you have any special programs or coaching programs that promote a, Healthy Lifestyle

You can find all coaching programs at www.wildlyalive.com

I do have a new free challenge called the embrace and reach your body challenge, that will start in a few weeks.  You could go to wildlyalive.com flash challenge.

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/its-not-about-willpower-how-to-lose-weight-without-dieting/

How Nutritional Supplements Help you Achieve Optimum Health

How to Reprogram your Mind to Stop Binge Eating

Are you waiting on Love? How Single Women over 40 Find Love

single women over 40

How do, Single Women over 40, find the love they want? How do they prepare themselves in the meantime while waiting on, Love.  Where do they find, single men?

Single women, who are believing God for a partner, can enhance their in the meantime experience by having the right mindset on why they want a partner, what are the best watering holes to find a partner and how to renovate, Love’s house, so that it is ready for Love.

Listen to the full interview here: 

Finding Love Introduction

I think the best, dating advice, is that when, Love’s House, is fully ready for, Love, the right partner will appear.

Dating advice, for, finding love again

  1. Work on being the best you.

Become clear on your strengths and the areas that needs improvements

Eg. Are you a good housekeeper or a good cook; but you lack self-esteem and self-confidence? Then work on improving your self -confidence

  1. Advice for single women, Be clear on why you want a partner
  • Do you want a partner for security or to help pay your bills?
  • Do you want a partner because it is culturally acceptable to be married or in a relationship?
  • Are you looking for a partner to complete you?
  • Or Are you looking for a soulmate and equal partner to share your life?
  • The last one was the perfect answer. Many, single women, and some, single men, are out there looking for a partner that contributes something to their lives; but never consider what they are bringing to the table.  Why would someone choose you?
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Where do you, single women over 40, meet, single men?

The reason that so many, single men, and, single women, are still single is because it is hard to meet people.

Here are the most popular Watering holes for the, single woman.

  1. Church
  2. Bars
  3. Gym
  4. Sports events
  5. Networking events
  6. House parties
  7. Work

Most Christian, single women, would love to meet their spouse or partner in the church; but that is rare because most, single men, in church are using the church as their watering hole!

Bars are the most popular place for, single women under 40,  to meet a man; but here is some, dating advice. Bars have become hookup places for casual sex with no commitment; but in every scenario there are exceptions to the rule and you can, find love,  at a bar.

My daughter had the perfect combination, she met her Fiancé in a club; but he was also from her church!

I met my husband on a train. He was the officer who checked for tickets. The train is definitely not a watering hole; but soul mates will attract each other like a magnet in any place. Gas stations, parking lots, grocery stores, bus stop, anywhere!

I have met past boyfriends at a car wash, by friend introduction, Dance club, school, bus stop, train, and work and they were all committed relationships.

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Finding love again, on Dating Sites

The newest place for, single women, to meet, single men, now are dating sites. The good thing about dating sites is that everyone on the site has the same goal, to meet a partner, or to start, dating, again.

As a realtor I love FSBO (For sale by owner) because they already want to sell their homes.  I don’t have to convince them to sell, only that I am the right agent to sell their homes. Same with the dating site. You don’t have to convince anyone to have a committed relationship, only that you are the one they are looking for.

Dating sites are tough if you are, finding love after a heartbreak, because it would be hard to trust. They are great for, single women over 50, because these women are not in the clubs or other social events.  They are home on their computers.

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My co-host today is Arifah Yusuf, a registered social worker and mental health counselor.

Arifah from a mental health perspective what can, single women, do to make sure they are sending the right vibes to a potential mate? Let’s say they meet someone at one of the many watering holes?

  • It’s really challenging sometimes, when it comes to giving off the right vibes, as different people enter spaces with their own intentions and interest.  It’s important for those that identify as women, to be mindful of their expectations and also have personal boundaries for themselves and others, so when engaging in conversations with, single men,  they can better be aware of the right vibes vs negative vibes, from themselves and others interacting with.  Some key tips, I would give are:
  • Before you try, finding love again, get to know yourself first and understand your past relationships (what worked/ didn’t work). This will help you get ready for a relationship, as you will be better able to recognize what you are looking for and if that relates to signs of a healthy relationship.
  • Some,  dating advice, Go to spaces where you may find someone with similar interest like you, somewhere that you feel comfortable and exudes positive energy. Most likely, you will attract  like minded, single men,   that will give off similar positive energy.
  • Be assertive and clear when communicating. Engage in conversations to discover common interest, identify personal traits.
  • When, dating, be open to new experiences.
  • Know your boundaries and if you feel someone is not respecting them, have your exit and safety plan ready.

These are some of the, dating advice, I would tell  my, single women, clients to keep in mind when thinking about meeting a, single man.

Where did you meet your husband?

  • I met my husband Kevin Mortley while I was working in the entertainment industry as a promoter.  He was also involved in the industry, promoting concerts for artist, and a graphic designer.  He reached out to me online and we had a conversation over the phone.

How do, Single Women, prepare, Love’s House?

Almost 20 years ago, I read a book by Iyanla Vanzant called” In the meantime, finding yourself and the love you want”

The concept of this book is prepare yourself and your life for love while waiting in, Love’s House.

One of the first things I remembered she said was to,

  • Start by living your, single life, like you are already in a relationship.
  • Park on your side in the driveway or garage,
  • Sleep on your side of the bed. Etc.
  • Let the Laws of Attraction work on, finding love again.

You are making room for a partner. But the synopsis of the book is to look at your, single life,  as a 3 story house, complete with a basement and an attic.

She calls this house, Love’s House. Loving yourself in the meantime while you are waiting on, finding love again.

In the basement of, Love’s House, you are pretty miserable. You are hurting, lonely and disillusioned. Your emotions are blame, anger, and fear. But the basement is also a place for healing. For understanding yourself. If you don’t fix yourself in the basement, you will carry that baggage and hurt into your next relationship.

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Arifah how do you help, single women, heal from hurt and blame?

  • Finding love after heartbreak, first fdentify and validate the pain.
  • Express yourself –Talking to a trust friend, family member or counselor is often a good way to soothe painful emotions and support healing.
  • Self care – take a break and find time for things you enjoy or would like to try (creative activities, manicure, hairstyles, movies, journaling, baking etc.)
  • Learn from it – An attitude of learning will help you discover value in the experience. You may also discover a curious new freedom: recovering from an emotional trauma or heartbreak makes you stronger, wiser and more resilient.
  • Reinvest in your new reality. Set goals and write down the steps and supports you need to begin working on them. Spark new energy and interests into your life, to find purpose and love of something else.

On the first floor of , Love’s House, you are no longer miserable and is able to look objectively at why you attract the people in your life that you do. Who are let’s say are emotionally unavailable, abusive, unsupportive etc.

On the second floor of, Love’s House, single women, Love’s house is where you change the dialog from victim to player. You educate yourself to play. You read books on, finding love again, you listen to podcasts on relationships, you start improving yourself, you become the picture card that everyone man wants.

The most important, dating advice  for, single women, on the second floor is that there is nothing wrong with you. You are enough and any man should be happy to have you. Say it until you believe it if you need convincing.

The third floor of, Love’s House,  is when, single women,  are living the, single life, and loving who you are as a, single woman. Content with herself, whole, needing no man to complete her. She is confident, self-sufficient,  courageous and beautiful inside and out.

The top floor is the Attic

In the attic, single women, showers themselves with unconditional Love. Single women over 40,  are able to receive the love of, single men. This is where you will begin to attract the perfect partner because negativity, does not live here.

You know what you want and, who you seek is also seeking you!

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Arifah What, dating advice, you have for, single women, through the phases  of finding themselves in, love’s house.

  • Make sense of your past

In order to thing about, finding love, first uncover who we are and why we act the way we do, we have to know our own story 

  • Differentiate

Differentiation refers to the process of striving to develop a sense of ourselves as independent individuals. In order to find ourselves and fulfill our unique destinies, we must differentiate from destructive interpersonal, familial and societal influences that don’t serve us.

  • Seek meaning

In order to find ourselves and, finding love after a heartbreak, we must all seek out our own personal sense of purpose. This means separating our own point of view from other people’s expectations of us. It means asking ourselves what our values are, what truly matters to us, then following the principles we believe in.

  • Recognize your personal power when, finding love again

When we know what we want, we are challenged to take power over our lives.   We are accepting ourselves as a powerful player in our own destiny. Harnessing our personal power is essential to both finding and becoming ourselves

  • Single women over 50, must silence their critical inner thoughts

This destructive thought process can be made up of a judgmental attitude that tells us we aren’t good enough to succeed or don’t deserve what we want or a soothing-seeming attitude that tells us we don’t have to try or that we need to be taken care of or controlled.

  • Know the value of friendship with, single men

We can seek out people who make us happy, who support what lights us up and who inspire us to feel passionate about our lives. Being friends while, dating, gives you the opportunity to learn things about the person that you may not have learned otherwise

Story of a, single woman, finding love after a heartbreak

In the last episode, I mentioned that I would love the listeners to join my Life coach group on Facebook.  They could ask questions and have myself and other members give them, dating advise.

Here is a question from Mari.  Her husband died last year and she wants, dating advice,  on how to start over. What should she look for in a mate?

As a, life coach, I think that, single women,  starting over or starting out, dating, again should have a list of what they want in a man.

  • It should go deeper than tall, dark and handsome!
  • You should have common interests,
  • be equally yoked,
  • have the same standard of living,
  • same religion,
  • similar sex drive.
  • The list could be lengthy and you are not going to get every thing on  your list but you are shooting for 80%.

Arifah What’s your, Dating Advice, for Mari

Hi Mari, its never easy after a significant loss, or, finding love after heartbreak. There is no starting over, as your husband will still play a role in your lifestory. Moving forward, you want to know what type of role that will be, maybe its pictures in a photo album or another memory keepsake. You need to figure this out, before you move forward, as sometimes we feel guilty, which is normal; but its apart of the grieving process, allow yourself to acknowledge that is what it is and determine what new reality are you hoping for in seeking a mate.

You can start with figuring out what you want, create a love resume for yourself in terms of what would characteristics, interests, you are looking for in that, single man.  Once that’s done, you are half way there to having a mindset and discovering possible spaces or friends your potential mate may visit.

I also got a question on my website. www.myhelps.com/contactus

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

This is a question from our last episode. We talked about fear and courage in our last episode.

How Do I handle the fear of, Dating, Steffy from India. Writes.

All I know is that I’ve a great fear. I’ve some kind of burden in my mind and I am not able to figure it out. I am a, single man,  I wake up in the middle of night and I have these panic attacks and stuff, tried meditation; but I am not able to concentrate. I need advice on, dating. Finding love again. The more I try the more I lose my hopes and start feeling worthless. Please help.

Since this is a mental health question I will let Arifah answer this one.

Hi Steffy, thank you for sharing your lived experience with fear.  It sounds like it is impacting your daily routine and ability to accomplish meaningful goals, such as, finding love. I want to say its common for people that are experiencing anxiety to lose hope, but you not worthless and help is available.

It may be helpful to monitor your daily routine and meals for the day, for example, stress/sugar and caffeine can increase anxiety.   Make an appointment to see your family doctor or at a clinic if you are able too, to share how you are feeling emotionally and physically.  Your doctor can provide professional advice to best help you.

In regards to fear of speaking to, single women, it’s helpful to practice writing down what you want to say, then reading it to yourself out loud or in front a mirror.  If you have friends/family you feel comfortable around and that are supportive, you can also practice public speaking in front of them first to get comfortable before larger crowds.

Breathing exercises and drinking water/herbal teas can be helpful in calming the nerves.  As well, watching videos or reading books from motivational speakers, that may offer tips you may find helpful.

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Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

https://blog.myhelps.us/surviving-r-kelly-mindset-sexual-predator/

How to Heal Your Brokenness

https://news.abs-cbn.com/entertainment/03/28/17/erich-gonzales-im-enjoying-my-single-life

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/05/the-reality-of-life-as-a-single-mom/

https://www.scarymommy.com/dating-a-single-mom/

 

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

no fear just courage

No fear, How do we say goodbye to Fear and live with courage?

What is fear? The first thing we must realize is that FEAR is False evidence appearing real.

Fear is an energy. Created totally in our minds. The energy of fear is powerful.  It can change the quality of lives.

A few years back, I had a guest in my home. When it was time for her to leave, it was dark and she refused to walk out the front door because she was afraid of Frogs jumping on her foot. Now, I have never seen a Frog in my front yard and neither had she; but she must have had an experience of a Frog jumping on her foot and it had traumatized her. So now every time she walks in a yard at dark, she was afraid of Frogs. How can we live with, no fear?

No fear, it is not real
Fear is not real

Now this is an example of a trivial fear but ask yourself. Is fear affecting the quality of your life? What would life be like if you had, no fear?

The problem with fear is that it is the bottom feeder of all emotions, that means that if you have fear in your heart you can’t have:

  • Love,
  • Happiness,
  • Feelings of belonging,
  • Self-reliance,
  • Self-control,
  • Initiative,
  • Ambition,
  • Enthusiasm,
  • or Certainty.
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  • The most common appearances of fear in the, African American Community, are:
  • Fear of poverty
  • Fear of criticism
  • Fear of ill health
  • Fear of loss of love
  • Fear of old age
  • Fear of death

Today Arifah and I are going to look at how Fear shows up in African American families and how it prevents us from living a life of purpose and abundance.

Here are the symptoms of the, Fear of poverty:

  • Willingness to tolerate poverty
  • Acceptance of whatever compensation that life offers without protest.
  • Mental and physical laziness
  • Lack of initiative
  • Lack of imagination
  • Indecision
  • The habit of permitting others to think for you
  • Sitting on the fence of indecision
  • Excuses for not taking initiative
  • Excuses for failures
  • Envy of those who are successful
  • Finding fault with others who are successful

My co-host is Arifah Yusuf, registered social worker, specializing in, mental health. She is the founder and program director of Lifted by Purpose.

Lifted by Purpose Provides a diverse range of services including training, workshops with the intent to engage youth in conversations about mental health and learn practical strategies to cope with life stressors.

Here are Arifah’s experience in working with youth and dealing with, No Fear, Living with Courage

In my experience working with young people, majority of children and youth live with anxiety.   The anxiety impacts their relationships to function in socially and or academically.  As well, how they view themselves and their ability to complete tasks or take risks.  Common signs of an anxiety disorder in youth I noticed are:

  • Constantly worrying about grades
  • Always trying to be perfect / Being afraid to make mistakes
  • Not sleeping well
  • Difficulty managing daily tasks and/or distress related to these tasks.
  • Anxious predictions – Worrying about something horrible happening (ie. Being embarrassed or humiliated)
  • Anxious thoughts “ I’m out of control, I can’t do this”
  • Avoiding friends or social situations and activities
  • Being afraid of speaking up and asking questions in class
  • Blanking out or freezing up in stressful situation
  • Safety behaviors (habits to minimize anxiety and feel “safer,” e.g., always travelling with a friend or have cell phone in their hand)
  • Excessive physical reactions relative to the context (e.g., heart racing and feeling short of breath in response to certain spaces or when they see certain individuals)

Anxiety is the most common disorder in Canada.  2.6% of Canadians aged 15 and older reported symptoms consistent with generalized anxiety disorder, an anxiety disorder characterized by a pattern of frequent, persistent worry and excessive anxiety about several events or activities.

According to the Anxiety Disorders Association of Canada, “the 12 month prevalence for any anxiety disorder is over 12% and one in four Canadians (25%) will have at least one anxiety disorder in their lifetime”.

No fear living with courage
No fear living with courage

Seven Major types of Anxiety Disorders:

  • Agoraphobia,
  • generalized anxiety,
  • specific phobia,
  • panic disorder,
  • social anxiety
  • separation anxiety
  • selective Mutism.

(ie. Selective Mutism is a complex childhood anxiety disorder characterized by a child’s inability to speak and communicate effectively in select social settings, such as school. These children are able to speak and communicate in settings where they are comfortable, secure, and relaxed)

Other Anxiety Disorders:

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders (obsessive-compulsive disorder, body dysmorphic disorder, hoarding disorder, trichotillomania, and excoriation disorder).

Trauma and Stressor-Related Disorders(reactive attachment disorder, dis-inhibited social engagement disorder, PTSD, acute stress disorder, and adjustment disorder).

 

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No Fear, means Living with Courage: How do we define courage?

Aristotle believed courage to be the most important quality in a man or woman. “Courage is the first of human virtues because it makes all others possible,”

How do you build your courage character?

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  1. Practice courageous acts.

To build a courageous character, with, no fear, the muscle of courage must be continually strengthened. Aristotle, the ancient philosopher who focused most on courage, said that we develop courage by performing courageous acts. Recent psychological research also suggests that courage is an ethical habit that we develop by repeatedly practicing acts of bravery.

Let me share a personal story with you, that helped me develop courage and have, no fear.

Years ago I was living in the United States as a temporary resident as a Canadian Citizen.  I was married and my husband sponsored me and applied for me to become a permanent resident. Before my application was finalized, My brother was getting married in Toronto, Canada and I just upped and left the country for the weekend to attend my brothers wedding.

When I tried to return to the USA, a few days later, border patrol  asked me for my Advance Parole documents.  I told them I never applied for Advanced Parole.  This is a document that gives you permission to leave the country while you have a pending application.   The border patrol told me that I had voluntarily abandoned my application by leaving the country and that my husband had to apply again.  He also told me I would have to stay in Canada for approximately 2 years while my new application was processed. To date that was one of my darkest days!

Then because he knew that as a Canadian Citizen, I could come back into the country at any time as a visitor, he added that if I tried to sneak back into the country as a visitor and I got caught, I would get a 10 year ban from entering the United states.

I returned back to Canada, and for a week I weighed all my options. I had a husband in the USA, my daughter was in school in the USA, I had a good job in the USA.  I decided I had to take the risk of returning to the USA as a Canadian visitor.

So I strapped on some courage, and made myself have, no fear, rented a car and drove myself over the border alone because I did not want to implicate any of my family members.

I drove up to the border patrol with, no fear, and as calmly and as courageous as a dove, I told him that I was going to Buffalo to pick up my husband from the airport.  He asked me if I had anything to declare, I said no and he  and waved me through!

I would tell you that after that incident, I look fear in the face every time and do it anyway. That is how I started to build my courage muscle having, no fear.

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Arifah, do you have a story to share of a time you had to look fear in the eye but do it anyway?

This is a good time to introduce a question I received on my Life coach group on Facebook. I would like for my listeners to join that group.  It is a forum to ask questions regarding your current struggles and get answers from me and the group.

This is a question from Mari: How do I have, no fear, to stop bullying

I really need some advice, I have a lot on my plate right now. I lost the love of my life. In December and since I moved in with my dad and brother I have been picking up after them. Folding their clothes. And they make me out to be their maid. I have paid money to have the house clean and it gets messy by the second day. Now since I’ve moved here my brother has been bullying me. He calls me little girl. Saying I’ll never make it on my own. Saying he feels sorry for me. Calls me a retard. Saying I act like a 12 year old. Says I don’t clean up after myself when I have been picking up after them both. Saying I’m a bitch. Calls me dumb ass. The list goes on but I’m trying to get an apartment and I don’t wish nothing bad on him but If he will ever be homeless I’m not going to put up with this. I thought of suicide but hell no!!! I’m just tired of him bullying me.

Arifah, what advice would you give Mari?

As a Life Coach, here are my steps for having, no fear, and building courage.

Exercise and meditation both have the power to lower stress levels and reduce feelings of depression and anxiety, which could help you to act more courageously in the face of challenges.

This is a meditation practice  I use every day to  build my courage character. It is from the Tibethan Monk Dandipanni

  • Sit quietly and start witnessing your breathe
  • Be aware of the air as it enters your nostrils and follow it all the way down to your belly.
  • Hold your breathe for a few seconds and then breathe out, once again follow your breathe as it exits your nostrils.
  • Do this for 3 breaths
  • Now become aware of your feet on the ground. Focus your attention on your big toe on your left foot. Feel the energy in your left toe as it becomes warm. Now keep your attention on your left foot and feel the energy as it climbs through your feet, ankles, calf, knees, quads, hips. Move this energy into your spine and hold it there.
  • Repeat this with your right foot, left arm and then right arm.
  • Hold the energy that you directed from all your limbs into your spine and now think about a courageous act. I think of the courageous act I just shared with you.  Your energy body is now infused with courage.
  • Now send this energy back to your right arm, left arm, right foot and left foot.

This is how you build your courageous body and have, no fear!

Additional Resources:

https://blog.myhelps.us/principle-4-have-a-positive-mind-set/

https://blog.myhelps.us/who-is-tending-your-mind-garden/

How to Heal Your Brokenness

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/conquering-fear_n_3909020

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/inspired-life/wp/2015/05/22/nothing-to-fear-how-to-find-courage-when-you-need-it-most/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.43ce47fdd4e3

The Secret to Living the Life of your Dreams

 

So What’s the secret to, living the life of your dreams? Have you wondered how someone can be born with nothing, and then live a, dream life? They can live in abject poverty, having nothing to eat, sometimes homeless and in a few years become a millionaire?

In this episode of the Transform your mind, to Transform your Life, radio show and podcast, registered social worker and mental health counselor, Ms Arifah Yusuf Mortley, share what we believe is the secret to, living the life of your dreams.  Arifah is the founder and Program Director of  Lifted by Purpose, a company that Provides a diverse range of services including workshops or programs designed to help the youth in Toronto, Canada deal with mental health issues, make positive changes in their lives after issues with the criminal justice system.  Arifah has been a registered social worker specializing in mental health for over 15 years.  She just started working with the prison system to help inmates live fulfilling lives when released from prison.

There are more, rags to riches, stories than rich kids born with trust funds.

Some Names of, Rags to Riches, people

Oprah Winfrey

Tony Robbins

Dean Graziosi

Neal Donald Walsh – he went from living homeless on the street to writing the book “Conversations with God”

Arnold schwarzenegger

Les Brown

So what do all these people have in common. They focused their attention on what they wanted and not their current circumstances.

Rags to Riches, story of O.J Simpson

O.J Simpson, rags to riches story
O.J Simpson

A young boy was born into poverty in a rundown section of San Francisco. This young boy became a fan of football legend Jim Brown, then the running back for the Cleveland Browns.  Even though this young boy was crippled by Rickets  from malnutrition, he dreamed of one day becoming a star running back like his hero Jim Brown.

Since he had no money to pay to see his hero play, he would wait outside the stadium for the maintenance crew to open up the gate in the fourth quarter and he would hobble on his crocked legs into the stadium and watch the balance of the game.

At the age of 13, he walked into an ice cream parlor one day after a 49’rs game against the Browns and came face to face with his idol, Jim Brown.

He went up to him and said “Mr Brown I Am your biggest fan.  I know every record you’ve ever set, every touch down you’ve ever scored.  Mr Brown one day I am going to break every one of your records.”

Jim Brown smiled and said “That great Kid. What’s your name?”

The young boy smiled and said “Orenthal James Simpson my friends call me O.J”

O.J Simpson did indeed go on to break all of Jim Brown’s records proving that, whatever you water will grow, and that, energy goes where attention flows.

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Arifah what is your experience as a counselor with youth transforming their lives from nothing to something?

I think the story is very powerful in terms of sharing his lived experiences with adversity and having a mindset from an early age to be great. Being able to meet his mentor, the person that he looked up to was also a great moment in his life. I admire that he not only set a goal to be like his hero Jim Brown but he wanted to surpass him.

I know that’s the same even with me working with young people often when you’re in your situation sometimes you feel stuck but then if you take the moment to look at it and be like well if I feel like this is the worst situation for me the only way to go is up from here.

The best thing to do is to reflect on your situation, then look at your strengths and look at how you use those strengths.  Ask yourself how do I use those resources around me to get where I need to go.  Then you can definitely work towards transforming your life.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
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I have a story of a young person.  He was referred to me by another social worker. This young man was always in and out of incarceration.  I was working on a peer support project with young people sharing their lived experiences and the learning from these experiences with other young

People.  This young man was awaiting trial for a new charge and while he was working in the program, he developed a lot of skills.  He learned to tell his story and self- reflect on some of his challenges.

One day his story connected with another youth and the youth told him his story changed his life.  That made him feel like a leader. He became inspired to help more youths in the program.

He graduated from our program, got a job in trades work and when he came out of prison got a full time job at a top company.  Today he is a supervisor, making good money and supporting his family.

As a, Life coach, I know for a fact that if you keep watering your goals with your attention and have faith and perseverance, you will one day manifest them into your experience and soon you will be,  living the life of your dreams.

Authors Myrna Trotman and Jerome Dickey
Me and Eric Jerome Dickey

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So how do you transform your current lack of resources, love, energy, or just a miserable existence to, Living the Life of your Dreams?

I am a follower of Ester Hicks and the consciousness of Abraham. I believe that The universe responds to whatever you focus on. You could be laying in bed with a broken body or in a broken relationship and you could shift your reality to where you want to be and that would become your new point of attraction.

If you were to focus on what you don’t have, you are in fact activating it to continue in your life. Eg If you focus on your lack of money or the lack of a man that is what you will continue to have.

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Arifah what are some exercises or steps you help your clients to live a, Life of their dreams ?

I focus on a strength-based assessment.  This assessment helps young people recognize their strengths or skills abilities and the things that they’re good at doing.  We made a list of things that he was good at.  Some of the things that he profited from illegally; but  skills like marketing,  figuring out demographics, leadership, acquiring a team.  The skills were transferable into other things.

Then we figured out what jobs matched the skills he was good at.  For example, he was good with his hands so we looked at construction jobs or trade jobs like plumbing.

Once we listed the jobs that he had an aptitude for, then it was just connecting him to those Resources. We looked for friends or family members who worked in that industry. We made a resource list of who he knew and where they worked.

Then we looked at what steps would he have to take to apply or what skills was needed for each job.  After this process, he became a little bit more hopeful.  He started to approach the problem with a positive mindset and a strategy.

My youth are able to find the perfect job and start, living the life of their dreams.

Here are the, Life coaching, steps to, Living the Life of Your Dreams

  1. As a Life coach I ask my clients to utilize their imagination.
  2. To withdraw their attention from the negative vibration of their current situation and dream.
  3. Our brains can’t tell the difference between real or imagined images.
  4. Launch their creation of their abundant life by launching their desires into the universe. Think of OJ Simpson.
  5. Become pure positive energy like a breath of fresh air

Everyone has something they can be grateful for even if it is feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin or being able to walk in the rain. Do you know that people in prison would give anything to feel the sun or walk in the rain. Positive vibration attracts positive things and circumstances into your experience.

Control where your awareness goes within your mind because that is where your energy flows.

Learn the fine art of concentration

Concentration is defined as holding your awareness on one thing.

Do you remember the book and movie the secret?

It was about the Law of attraction and creating vision boards and everyone in the movie had their vision come true. Everyone was living the, like of their dreams.

 

So what’s the secret to, living the life of your dreams? “Believe, have faith and persevere”

God said I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and give you hope.

 

To listen to the full audio interview

Download on the following podcast players and please remember to subscribe, rate and review if you found this content helpful.

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Additional Resources

https://bigthink.com/experts-corner/10-steps-to-attract-the-life-you-want

 

https://blog.myhelps.us/principle-1-keep-your-vision-in-front-of-you/

The Secret to Having it All

How to Find your Passion, Purpose and Freedom as a Mompreneur

Are you a stay at home mom? Why not become a, mompreneur?  Allison Lancaster, lifestyle blogger and, mompreneur, shares how to start and grow your business along with your babies.

Today on the, Transform your Mind, to Transform your Life radio show and podcast. I interview Allison Lancaster. Allison is a mom, wife and six-figure business owner. She started her business in 2016 after giving birth to her first son, who spent 2 weeks in the NICU. She has since grown not only a lifestyle blogger; but has become a trusted online business manager for entrepreneurs who are seeking to find purpose, passion & freedom as a, mompreneur. Allison’s passion project is teaching other moms how to become work at home moms so that they can grow their business along with their babies.

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Allison How did you go about deciding to be a Mompreneur?

The entire time I was pregnant with my son, I had decided to go back to work. We had a daycare picked out and everything.  But I think going through the NICU experience and  just becoming a new mom, that’s a huge life change.  Whether you’re an NICU mom or not.  I can remember one day that just sticks out in my mind, my son was about two months old, my maternity leave was dwindling down and I could just remember sitting looking at my baby and just crying.  I didn’t want to leave him to go back to work.

Myrna: So you fell in love and couldn’t bear to part with your baby!

I’ve always had kind of an entrepreneurial spirit.  I had my own business as a wedding planner and always had a side hustle. I have always wanted to have my own business. So when I decided to be a, mompreneur,  I started just researching like a mad person on Google for ideas.  I started out by buying things from Walmart on clearance and then trying to sell them on Amazon, which some people make great business out of;  but I just could not do it.

So I considered what I am good at.  I clarified my strengths. Writing has always been a passion of mine, so I decided I’ll just start a, mompreneur, blog.

I really didn’t think that it would be any sort of a career.  It was just something I used as an outlet.

Allison Lancaster, mompreneur
Allison Lancaster, mompreneur

How did you build your Business as a, Mompreneur?

The, NICU experience, was really kind of a traumatic birth experience; so I decided to download by writing about it and maybe helping other NICU moms.

The, NICU experience,  is a different kind of experience from a regular birth. I mean you don’t get to hold your baby for days, possibly weeks and you’re separated from him or her and you have to watch them being fed by tubes. It is both a traumatic and terrifying experience.

Other, NICU moms,  started sharing their experience and it was powerful.. My blog was very quickly picked up and syndicated by a large parenting website.

I joined some blogging groups on Facebook and I found this amazing community of bloggers who were very receptive and helpful.

Then I started promoting my blog on Pinterest, just kind of pinning it just to see what would happen.  My content very quickly gained traction had I had some viral pins.

Then friends started to reach out to me and there they were like, hey you’re doing really well on Pinterest.  You’re being syndicated in all of these places.  What are you doing and how can you help us?

So that’s really kind of where the online business management side of my business was born.

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How did you Grow your, Mompreneur, Business along with your Babies?

I took on one client and then they referred me and here we are some 50 or more clients later.

Myrna:  Wow yeah I have a blog ( this one!) and my blog did not take off!  I have never been syndicated and I have yet to figure out what Pinterest does!  So you’re doing great. Why do you thing you were so successful so quickly?

It has come full circle.  Initially I would have said it was the marketing pieces of it and the website building and things like that. But late last year I noticed a shift.  People wanted to hear about the nuts and bolts of running a business and that is what I blogged about.

Today I kind of talk about everything, I call it a lifestyle blog. I share a lot of my grandmother’s recipes.  I’m a southern girl and we like our food.  I share a lot of parenting kind of tips and advice too. I have 2 kids now.  A 3 year old and a 9 month old.  As they’re growing, things that I’m learning and discovering, I share.

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How to Find your Passion, Purpose and Freedom as a, Mompreneur

Mompreneurs, are women entrepreneurs who just happens to be moms as well. A lot of, mompreneurs, started their  businesses because they wanted the freedom to stay at home with their babies, or the freedom to travel or whatever kind of freedom they are looking for.

I have started very recently a free course for, mompreneurs,  who want to become virtual Assistants.  Mompreneurs, who want to stay home with their babies and don’t necessarily want to sell a product or create a product. I want to teach them how they can start a business offering  virtual assistant services.  We all have marketable skills whether that’s accounting, bookkeeping or marketing. I kind of coach them through the process.

Most, mompreneurs, don’t even remember what their purpose was in starting their business. They just wanted to see the light at the end of the tunnel. So I do a lot of business strategizing with clients. I ask them what is your five-year plan for your business?

Why did you start your business, was it to stay at home with your babies or was it to travel?

Then I ask them. Are you seeing those things in your business right now?  If not why?

I teach, mompreneurs, to find their passion and purpose by doing what they love.

I think it’s different for every person; but there’s just a lot of questions and kind of deep-diving and soul-searching that you have to do.  We have to do it consistently, not just in the beginning or in the middle of your business.  It’s a daily thing. Ask yourself,  how does this task fit into my bigger plan and my bigger purpose?

Listen to the full interview by clicking the link below or by downloading and subscribing to your favorite podcast player.

Now on Podbean, CastboxDeezer, Google PlaySpotify, Soundcloud, and Stitcher, iHeart Radio, TuneIn Radio

Additional Resources:

https://blog.myhelps.us/the-quest-for-purpose-six-holistic-ways-finding-purpose/

Ask Coach Myrna: How to Start Over?

12 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Thrive As a Stay-At-Home Mom

Stay at Home Mom Help: 12 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Thrive

What are the, Secrets to Success,? Here are my 10 Secrets

I do believe that success leaves Clues, As a successful Author, Life Coach, Realtor, and Radio Host, these are my, secrets to success,

My story is probably similar to a lot of people that reached success. Most successful people start off with nothing and I was no exception. Today I am sharing my story on the , secrets of success, podcast with Dr Ken Keis.

I was born in a British Guyana, which is in South America. We have a Caribbean culture, so we consider ourselves part of the Caribbean Islands; but we’re really South American. When I was born Guyana was very poor country, it still is a Third World country. Both my mom and my grandmother were domestic servants and we didn’t have much. My Dad taught me at a very early age the value of education to elevate ourselves out of poverty. He was very smart. When I was born he was in Teachers College and went on to get his PH.D in in London in his early thirties.

I’m submerging myself right now in in in the book “The Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton and I’m understanding from Dr. Lipton, that genes give us 50% of our character and the other 50% comes from the environment we grew up in. Looking back I can say that as a child, because I was the first born I was marooned in love so, the environment that I grew up in, kind of nullified the poverty thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mp49uQgIBbM&t=331s

I also believe that I’m highly favored. I still see it still every day of my life; but I also got some good breaks. One of the first good breaks is that I had was a very wealthy Godfather. He showered me with a lot of gifts and a lot of love. He ended up also sexually abusing me but I never really focus on that because I’m not a victim. The, sexual abuse, started when I was 10 years old or so and living down the street from him. I was at his house all the time because he had grandchildren and we would play together. I spent most of my time at his house and then when my mom moved to Canada when I was 11, my grandmother and my siblings moved into one of the rental rooms on his property. So I was like right there. This continued until I was about 13 years old and started liking boys.

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As a 13 year old girl I noticed I was different from other girls. 13 year old girls were virgins, they never had sex until they started going out with boyfriends. I wasn’t a virgin! Sexual abused, children don’t know that what someone is doing to them is wrong. I did not know it was wrong. My Godfather was considered a family member per se, and I loved him. So at 13 years, I started on my first, secret to success,

#1 I decided I needed respect. I decided not to have sex with boys, because I did not want them to know I was not a virgin. Using my podcast title, I transformed my mindset from being a victim to becoming respectable and started on the first of my, secrets to success,

A story like this that affects you for your entire life until you transform it, until you see that a lot of good people have have a lot of bad things happen to them. If you look at the bad things all the time, it keeps you stuck in the past.

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#2 of my, secrets to success, is You have to rewrite the story of your past and start writing the story of your future.

God gives you a test, so that you can have a testimony. In my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” I talk about coming out of the snares of poverty, out of the snares of, sexual abuse, people can have out of the snares of addiction, people can have out of the snares of rape. I wasn’t raped so it’s a little different experience. Somebody took advantage of
my innocence, using their wealth to capture my heart. It happens all the time. Pedophiles, I can spot them in a minute now, because I been through that.

#3 of my, secrets to success, An abundant mindset – I consider that having a wealthy Godfather who gave me everything I wanted, one of my breaks and, secrets to success, even though it came with the, sexual abuse, attachment.
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I immigrated to Toronto, Canada at 17 years old. I immediately got a good job at a bank with no experience. After a couple of years, I decided to go to college. Canada is a country with lots of benefits. I was able to go back to school for free, Unemployment insurance from my job paid for my schooling. I graduated with a degree in computer science and I decided to go to sell computers because I understood that that’s where the most money was.

#4 Unleash the power within. was definitely one of my, secrets to success, A couple years into selling computers, I got my 4th of my, secrets to my success, Tony Robbins impacted my life! My story is all about favor. My company was given free tickets to a Tony Robbins seminar. Unleash the Power within. I came out of that seminar and I know now looking back is when I started my consciousness or my awareness journey.

Tony Robbins talked about unleashing the power within and I came out of that seminar at changed woman. I immediately went about starting my own business. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I looked it up in books. I decided to become a Limousine Operator. I took that limousine business to one of the top female owned operators in Toronto. I even won the Entrepreneur of the Year award. Then I wanted more. Whenever you achieve a goal, you start on the next goal because the goal is never the ending place. Life is the journey. I would come to Las Vegas every year at the limousine Convention and I thought that the America was where it’s at. America was where all the limousine operators were rich.

I started dreaming of coming to America! I applied for a Free trade agreement visa and set up a branch office of my limousine service in Miami.
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Then the needle moved again. I no longer wanted to live in the USA without the benefits of becoming a permanent resident, so started my journey into becoming a permanent resident and citizen. That wasn’t without a lot of trepidation and failure. It took me ten years and three marriages. I wrote about it in detail in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement, pick up a copy. It reads like a suspense thriller!

#5 This is my fifth of my, secrets to success, never give up. It took me ten years but I won. I became an American citizen. I’m married still married to my third American husband and we’re doing great things together.

Sometime after that, I saw this newspaper article about a, Life coach, I had never seen or heard that word before; but I knew immediately that is what I was supposed to be.

#6 That is my 6th, secrets to success, be open for guidance from the Divine or your Higher self. You have to live consciously to be in communication with your spirit guide. I know now that the things that we see and the things that we pay attention to, is the universe speaking to us and directing us to our purpose.

#7 I acted on this vision. This is my 7th of my, secrets to success, Action. My next step was to get certified, so I enrolled in University of Miami coaching program and got my, Life coaching, certification.

About a year after becoming a, Life Coach, I received an invitation to be a guest on a radio show and talk about my , secrets to success, The show was aired on WDJY 99.1 Metro Atlanta. Hype Media Global owned the station and they loved my personality and my content and offered me my own show.

# 8 That’s the 8th of my, secrets to success, Jump in and learn as you go. I had to learn to interview, I had to learn to produce my show and then learn how to convert it to a podcast.

I am now a Life Coach, Realtor, and a Podcast Host.

So to recap, one of the first, secrets to success, is to not become a victim. A victim has no power. A victim mentality says that somebody did something to me and that person has the power over you. Instead you need to become as a Player. When you are a player, I use the analogy of a blackjack game, regardless of what the dealer is showing, regardless of where you are and your circumstances right now, regardless of what you see physically in front of you, you can still play to win.

That is basically one of my first conscious decisions and definitely need to included in the list of my, secrets to success, Before I even got into transforming your mind or anything like that, I just knew I wasn’t going to be a victim. I’m not going to carry my story to my grave. Somebody did something to me and I looked for the lessons in that story. I look for the positive and what I gained from that situation instead of what somebody took from me. That transformed into my relationships. I don’t bear malice or grudges. If my spouse cheated on me, I give him to right to follow his desires. I could then make my own choices.

Some women hate their spouses because they cheated on them or they did something to them and become bitter and dried up and they take that hate to their graves. When you forgive then you are able to transform yourself.

They say unforgiveness is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die.

#9 Another of my, secrets to success, is that I’m into meditation, and I’m into energy, and I’m into vibration. I’m into having a vision and designing my life and being as a the co-creator in my world. Not just letting things happen to you and you have no control.

My vision is that I want to become the top Podcaster. I’m not going to sit back and not do anything. I work my ass off, every day. I put a lot of energy into this vision because where attention goes, energy flows!

# 10 of my, secrets to success, is to transform my mind, I encourage everybody that’s listening to this podcast or reading this blog, to look at what beliefs and behaviors are not serving you and replace them. It is not easy because most of us live unconsciously, but awareness is key.

Look for the opportunity in any setback. I’m an optimist. I am not sure when this started, but I’m an optimist. Optimism is listed as one of the six foundations to, secrets to success, Anytime something happens to me or I receive any kind of push-back, I look for the opportunity in it. What I’m talking about is, transforming your mind, you know that’s the reason I became a full-time coach. I was working for Office Depot and Office Depot and OfficeMax merged and they fired me and gave me a great severance package. I had worked for Office Depot for ten years. With that severance package, I started my own business and went into it full time. I never looked back. I had co workers who wallowed in self-pity. What am I going to do? How am I going to find a job at 50 years old? Cry, cry.

I heard Oprah say it a different way. The sun is always there even when the clouds are covering it. The sun is still shining underneath, you just can’t see it. Always look for the silver lining, if you look for it, you will find it.

Live your life with intention. Intention is energy, it’s thought. Before you do anything, it first has to be a thought in your brain.
Before you can hold anything in your hand you first have to hold it in your head.

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Additional resources:
https://www.success.com/4-secrets-of-insanely-successful-people/
https://www.wanderlustworker.com/what-is-the-secret-to-success-in-life/
https://blog.myhelps.us/become-life-coach/
https://blog.myhelps.us/9-love-out-of-the-snares/
https://blog.myhelps.us/are-you-trapped-by-your-past/

The Secret to Having it All

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https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-Transform-your-Mind-29542107/


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Our topic today , The secret to , Having it all, Welcome to the Transform your Mind with Coach Myrna radio show and podcast, I am your Host Coach Myrna Young and today I am speaking to New York Times Best Selling author of the book “The Art of, Having at All” Ms Christy Whitman. I am so honored to be talking to Christy today.

I Want to thank everyone for tuning in today to on the radio at www.wdjyfm.com in Metro Atlanta. This podcast is distributed to iTunes, TuneIn radio, Stitcher, Google play and now also on iHeart radio.

Show Transcript

Christy you have such a wealth of knowledge, that I know that both myself and my listening audience is going to learn so much from you today.

Thank you Myrna, I’m so excited to be here, thanks so much for having me.

I want to give a shout out to the fan of the week, and the winner of this week’s contest for a free VIP annual subscription to Mix Amore, the Newest Hottest Dating App. This week’s winner is Sierra de Oliveira, Sierra left a review on iTunes that said

“I just love this podcast coach Myrna and her guests are so entertaining and full of great content. I love learning how to navigate this life and be successful.”

Thank You Siera for leaving a five-star review. I hope you enjoy your gift.

Appending to that, I want to remind you that I have a four week contest on right now and this is week three. The contest is for you to win a VIP membership to Mix_Amore, the new interracial dating App as seen on Shark Tank. To enter post a review to the Transform your Mind with coach Myrna podcast on iTunes and then send me an email to info@myhelps.us with the subject line “podcast review” and you will be entered to win.

Alright let’s get on with the show and let me tell you a bit more about my guest today Christy Whitman. Christy is a Transformational Leader, Celebrity Coach and the New York Times Bestselling Author of “The Art of, Having It All” she has appeared on The Today Show and the Morning Show and her work has been featured in, People’s Magazine, Seventeen, Women’s Day, Hollywood Life, and Teen Vogue, among others Christy is also the CEO and founder of the, Quantum Success Learning Academy and Quantum Success Coaching Academy, a 12-month Law of Attraction program. Christy has helped thousands of people worldwide to achieve their goals through her empowerment seminars, speeches and coaching sessions and products. Christy’s life changing message reaches over 200,000 people per month and her work has been promoted by and featured with esteemed authors and luminaries such as Marianne Williamson, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Marci Shimoff, Brian Tracy, Neale Donald Walsch, Abraham-Hicks, and Louise Hay. She currently lives in Arizona with her husband, Frederic, and their two boys, Alexander and Maxim.
You can meet her on the web at www.QuantumSuccessBook.com,

I read your bio and I’m thinking wow this woman is where I want to be. So we’re going to start out by just asking you a kind of a background question you’ve accomplished quite a lot. Can you tell us your journey to this point in your career in life.

Well, I basically did everything that my parents told me, you know, Go get a degree, get a good job, put money in the Bank, have a nice fit body, find a guy! I had all that, and still I was just really really empty. I wasn’t really happy. I was missing an essential part of myself. So I started going on a search for meaning. I had this you know like when you’re really thirsty for water that’s how I felt spiritually. I felt like I just didn’t know that there’s wasn’t any real purpose or meaning in what I was doing. It seemed like the more money I made, it didn’t make me any happier. I went on this quest and really learned about meditation and learned about how our thoughts create our reality and learned about energy and how we are either attracting things to us or repelling things from us. All these different philosophies started changing me, and I started changing my thoughts one by one and started shifting my energy and things literally just started shifting before my eyes. When I was searching at one point I was thirty pounds overweight, $60,000 in debt, I had just broken up with the latest bad guy, and I moved to California and I didn’t know anybody. I Had quit my job also so I I had nothing going on in my life, when I found this information and it was amazing because within just a very few short weeks I got a great job, I was transferred to a different part of California, I found a really wonderful man, and I was in an eight-year relationship with, my body naturally went back to normal size. Things were just flowing and easy, and what I was learning about was the universal laws that I now teach. I’ve shared my experiences of how I’ve created a great career, maintained my weight, and attracted an ideal partner. I’ve been coaching on Law of Attraction and Universal Laws. Besides the Law of Attraction, I just share my experiences and I share what I do, and what I learned and what I know not to do, and I just created an amazing business. I’m serving people, and seeing people transform, and I feel passionate about it. Each and every day, back when I when I was in that space, I was making money, I was a pharmaceutical rep, but I didn’t feel like I was on purpose. I didn’t feel like what I was doing really had much meaning and so I started to really connect with the feeling of what would it feel like that if I did something and I was on purpose? I didn’t know what purpose looked like, but I started just allowing myself to feel that the essence of the purpose, of what it would just feel like. Even if I didn’t know the how or the form or anything and then what happened with amazing. I had a book downloaded through me and that became my first book “Perfect Pictures.” I got it published and my family and friends all bought the book and it wasn’t like they were the ones to read self-help books. I started speaking at Spiritual Book Stores and Churches and while I was doing that, doing workshops on my book, I would take people through meditations and they started asking me to coach them. I had no idea back then, and we were talking you know 16 years ago, 17 years ago. I had no idea what Life Coaching was and most people didn’t. I decided to just have people call me on the phone and started really appreciating their transformation. I’m grateful that my stuff it’s universal and it helps every single person, no matter what circumstance or situation there going through. We can change all of it by knowing and applying these laws.

That’s an awesome story I Absolutely love it. Dr Wayne Dyer says that that’s how he’s written all this books. He wakes up at 3.15 am in the morning and it’s just downloaded. I just completed a series with the author of the Millennial’s Playbook to Adulting, Millennials do just that. Whether it’s their parents or a guidance counselor or somebody they find a job, they find the guy, and then they get married or something but it doesn’t light them up it doesn’t light them up because they’re going about it based on the jobs that’s available or income or something along those lines; but yeah is it’s a great thing to teach because whenever you are on purpose and whenever something lights you up and whenever you follow the Laws of the Universe which most people don’t know what they are, you find happiness. Most people don’t understand the Laws of Attraction and how thoughts work. That’s the only way that you can design your life. I’m glad that we’re going to be diving into that subject in our next episode; but today we want to talk about your book “The Art of, Having it All,” I’m jumping ahead of myself. Before we get in to that. I want to bring attention to the word you used to introduce your coaching program “Quantum Success.” I love the word that you use to introduce your coaching program. I follow Deepak Chopra. He was my first mentor and when I wrote my first book which was called “Becoming Conscious, my Awakening” I talked about the Quantum and synchro destiny; but you’re calling it, Quantum Success; so my follow-up question is “what do you feel is the blueprint to your coaching program and what is your definition of quantum success and, having it all, ?”

I want to say I’m not a superwoman, I’m just an ordinary woman that has learned about universal laws and, having it all. Every single person listening have the power to create your life the way you want it. Quantum success for me it was really about, I lived the first part of my life not, having it all, so far pushing, striving, setting goals, it was really when I found the knowledge, and the information on energy and that I understood, the energy that you hold while you’re moving towards something is even more important than the inert action of the goal. We’re both physical and non-physical beings. If you’re not doing that from a place of alignment then any momentum that you take is a waste of energy, it’s a waste of time. You know a lot of times people are moving they’re doing stuff and they’re taking tons of action and it’s eventually going to give them the success that they want; but they’re going to hit a wall because if their thought process is different or their emotions on how they feel about themselves or even the way they think about themselves, the way they reflect on themselves, the way they judge and solve problems. All of that stuff holds us back from really being able to allow the alignment and the flow of the Quantum field, or what some call God, what some call Goddess. That consciousness that create whatever you want. When you start to bring in deliberately, having it all, the kind of energy that you want to experience, whether its success, or love, or abundance, or prosperity, or security. As long as you’re doing it consistently, because everything is vibration. So when you do the action and take the action towards what you want to manifest and align your thoughts your emotions your perspective with succeeding, in that space of success. You imagine what would success look like? What does, having it all, look like? What would successful feel like? If you had the career that you really wanted, that was firing on all cylinders what would that look like for you? I wrote in my last book “The Art of, Having It All,” It’s really about what does having it all look like to you. Is, Having it All, someone else’s definition? It’s what lights you up that moves you forward. It’s a life force that’s pulsating through you, that wants to become something more. It’s up to us as, that non-physical part of that energy. Cooperate with it instead of trying to cut it off and that’s what most people do. Complaining and judging other people or they play like a victim. All those things are literally slicing up and siphoning off your life force energy, and it won’t move you towards the desires that you want. We need to ask ourselves. How do I want to feel? Then start to as much as you can, as often as you can, get in that feeling place. I mean the good thing is about Quantum is that this is a holographic universe and so any emotion that has ever been felt can be easily felt by you. Circumstances and situations don’t have to happen. We have the capacity as human beings to visualize and to feel our way into things, and to change a thought and you know these are all things that we can do because the thoughts that we have are not real, so we have to direct our thoughts towards what we want and why we want it, to, having it all, and how we want to feel.

That is awesome, we are so in sync on the things. My next question we’re going to be talking a little bit about Abraham Hicks; she talks about the vortex when I do my meditation that’s what I say. Everything in my vortex will be eventually be available to me, if not immediately but eventually. It’s all about vibration. I was listening to podcast last week and the guest was saying we have Three superpowers, and one of the superpowers was imagination. He reminded me that anything we can imagine, we can create. Whether you’re imagining what you want or what you’re imagining what you don’t want it’s real and it’s going to manifest.

A lot of people think our vortex is outside of ourselves; but the vortex is within us. The vortex is inside us, so it’s not something we have to wait for. It’s like we just have to get into alignment with it because it’s already there. It’s the Creator that pulses pulsates through us. I’m going to get into a discussion of energy for a second. Most people think I’m going to manifest something or Law of Attraction; but thoughts always create some kind of emotional reaction. It’s really the emotions, so we’re viewing something we see something like a tree we look at the tree and we just kind of have the stimulus, we perceive it without eyes and we enjoy it. So energy is flowing in and it’s flowing out, it’s just kind of like a stimulus we see the ocean it comes in and it comes out. Well when someone says something rude to us or says something hurtful, or maybe you get in car accident, or you lose a loved one, or your bill comes and you can’t pay it or whatever it is; those moments in life cause us to constrict our energy and we create blocks around it. Those blocks also create a vortex of energy because energy has to continue to move, it goes out, or it goes up, because that is constantly moving, it’s never ending. So if energy come through and instead of feeling an emotion, like how that person hurt us or that person was rude or that person made us angry, we constrict the energy. That creates a block and then that creates a vortex, that vortex is active, it’s alive. That’s the vortex that creates a thought and then the thoughts create a belief. It then creates some kind of physical manifestation of it and then we go, see it’s true. You say No matter what I do, I can’t seem to get ahead. Men are always cheating on me. We have to be careful and aware of where we’re getting energetically charged and start to release those blocks, so that we can get back in that free flow again of feeling the love and the alignment.

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I do the work, I want to be, having it all, I don’t only coach; but I do a lot of mind work because I’m aware at that everything starts in the mind, which is why I call this podcast “The Transform your Mind” because everything starts there. But I loved about the quantum field as it relates to success. I actually never thought about it that way until you mentioned it; but you said if you want to move towards something because that’s the quantum field that’s energy that’s moving and you have to be an alignment to that goal. If you I want to red Mercedes but then immediately you say well I can never afford it, that’s what you’re talking about, as far as you’re not moving in alignment. I Actually absolutely love putting it all together. If you want success you’ve got to hold what you want in front of you so that you can be strategically moving towards it and also be aware of the energy that you’re talking about. If you’ve got stuck energy, you’ve got blocked energy or you you’re feeling bad then you’re actually blocking your flow.

So, the next question I Want to ask you is about the luminaries and thought leaders that you mentioned in your bio. I love them all I didn’t know much about Marianne Wilkinson, but I love Dr Wayne Dyer, I’m listening to two of his audio books right now. One is on Balance which is almost the same thing we’re talking about today. I have a Neale Donald Walsch book in my library “Conversations with God” It was one of the best books I have read. I studied that book. And Abraham Hicks, Love her. There’s was a point in time that I meditated with her every morning. I Picked those three because those are the ones that I know. So what are some of the lessons that you’ve learned from these luminaries as it you know as it relates to our topic today? Having it all, and Quantum Success?

I heard of Wayne Dyer probably about 20 years ago. My therapist at the time she was a spiritual psychotherapists, she brought in the spiritual approach, she would hand me CDs, actually back then it was cassette tapes of Wayne Dyer and Marianne Williamson, and so they were my first two early teachers. I really liked the perspective that Marianne talks about because she would talk about the Course In Miracles and how there’s really only two emotions, either love or fear; so that really helped me start to connect with the energy and paying attention between high vibration or low vibration, and then of course Wayne Dyer was huge for me in the whole getting in the perspective of my thoughts. During that time that’s when I was learning that your thoughts create your reality and so I was learning that not all thoughts are real and that we have places where as normal human beings we typically automatically think in these ways and for me it was like wow okay, so I’m Normal right and yet I have to change these if I want to continue to change my life. His work has always just been really touched my soul and in the time that I’ve been able to meet him and you know it just he really is one of those people that really was because he’s passed on, but he really walks his talk. He truly was a lightworker and I could feel that it around him and it was there was an authenticity that and of what he taught and how he lived so that’s what I learned about and appreciate him. He was a very humble man and he never felt better than other people and he really had taught me a lot about ego and in keeping the ego in check and in that sort of thing. The Power of Intention, I mean that’s an incredible book. I’ve been following Abraham Hicks Probably around the equal amount of time around 20 years and I was given a cassette from a little group that I was in in Redding California and I listened to them and you know listening test or channel Abraham and it was like whoa this is really strange and weird and yet I felt good listening to it, not only the words this used but the vibration that I felt. As a pharmaceutical rep I had a big area in California, I would drive around with a cassette recorder on my passenger seat with all these different cassettes. I was really a tuning into a different perspective, I always write whether you know you buy someone’s book and you read the book while you’re just going to bed at night or you’re driving around the car and you listen to a podcast that bless you or you know some kind of media where you’re getting a different perspective than what most people think and how most people think because that’s going to help you change your perspective. If you’re inundated with the news and you know things like that and around a lot of people that are negative it’s very hard to get out of that space unless you do something deliberately.

We’re going to get in it to our topic today which is, “Having it All”, or “The, Art of Having It All” so let me give you a little bit about you know the more a little tidbit that I picked up from you know reading the synopsis of the book. Christy in your book you ask “Is it possible to have a passionate marriage, a thriving career, a healthy beautiful body, more money that you ever dreamed of, and enough downtime to enjoy it without running yourself ragged?” You ask the question like a lawyer asks the question a rhetorical question that we know the answer and your answer was a resounding “YES”

Absolutely exactly right. In the Art of Having it all, you shared precise steps you took to create radical turn arounds in the midst of potentially devastating real-life situations. Freeing yourself of nearly $90,000 of unwanted debt, 30 extra pounds, navigating the turbulent waters of divorce, and this last two are really hard for most people, the grief of your sister’s suicide, and the life-threatening illness of your newborn son. As I read that I get goose bumps on it because you know that’s a lot of stuff to have to deal with and I know we’ve touched on the energy and most of this beforehand as we talked in your bio, and some of the questions to answered already; but can you tag on to anything that you haven’t talked about. What advice you’d give out listeners who are going through, as we call it the wilderness of the storm, in their lives right now.

Absolutely all of those things that you mentioned all of them, I got through and grew from them and had them turn out even better than I could have even imagined, because of the fact that I knew about the Universal Laws and that I knew about lack and energy and Lack in abundance and, I knew about emotions and all that. I knew that I needed to focus on my perspective on, having it all, my sons, my marriage, so just even in the case of my son Maxim, when he was 2 months of age he was rushed to the hospital and he had to have open-heart surgery as a tiny little baby. Crazy, the miracles that were around that are just like the story is incredible. Typically babies that have a transposition of the arteries are usually found in the mother’s womb, they see it in the ultrasound and then they do a heart surgery on them, probably one to two days of life, two days of the latest. If they don’t catch it, it’s usually within you know the first week and if it’s not caught within the first week babies usually die in the crib if it’s not detected. Wow! Yeah, he was two months of age and the only thing that kept him alive is he had a little hole between both of his arteries and the valve that closes when a baby typically has their first few breaths, his didn’t close so he was barely breathing which we didn’t realize; but he if they did ever did this type of surgery on the baby this old so it was just the fact that he was just there and he was wanting to be there. It’s like, I knew that he was going to be fine and so I went I Told my husband I’m like okay listen we can’t have anybody else’s negative energy we can’t have fear we can’t have any of this around the situation. The only visual I’m going to hold taking Maxim home with his brother Alex, And the three of you wrestling and growing up and taking vacations and taking them to Disneyland and taking him camping and you know just like all these visions absolutely. All these different watching and play baseball and so that was the only vision. Our family was freaking out and scared, of course we had to process our own emotions because it was an emotional roller coaster; whenever we were around him we didn’t let in any fear energy. We would clear ourselves before we would walk in the hospital to see him and very selective of who we let around him and stuff and we did that because it’s like we just wanted to keep in the positive space we wanted to keep in that energy flow of all good things and any possibility of negativity or fear or any lower-level emotions we wanted to keep it out of the creation; because it was it was imperative. I’m happy to say that he’s now seven-year-old boy, he’s been cleared for years. He’s got a perfect heart. I mean the surgery that they did was two months is like growing with him it’s amazing yeah just the coolest kid and you know and just very grateful I mean just amazing and you know so it’s that alone you know we would sit there and deliberately write down like okay what are the positive aspects about the situation nothing will go my God your child almost died is in the hospital ICU. How could you even look for a positive in that situation? Well for me, we had to because we had to keep our vibration high, so I would write out, how I’m grateful how I was at the best Children’s Hospital in all of North America, I was grateful that we were close to home and that we had family to take care of our son Alex during the day so we could be with Maxim. Grateful that all the nurses loved him and just all the positive aspects nothing but. It’s a universal law if you’re in lack and limitation you cannot create abundance from that place and so you have to get into it’s the law of sufficiency and abundance, you have to get into the place of being at peace, feeling that it’s sufficient, it’s good enough. You don’t have to be over the moon excited about it, but at least coming from that place of appreciation and gratitude looking for what’s right and good and stuff what’s wrong and bad and when you do that your life will continue to change contrast will show up it shows up for every single person but it’s how what you do with the contrast when it happens whether it’s really extreme or it’s minor you know some people get really reactive and how big emotional reactions over very small things and then when things come they’re just like oh my God you know so we have to know how to manage our energy.

I’m Going to redress something, I experienced suicide in my family myself. My daughter was engaged to be married, she was planning her wedding and her fiance, shot himself and committed suicide and like you I’m a very positive person, I wouldn’t say that I know how to work energy like you are because you’re an expert on that, but in my life I’ve had a lot of challenges and you know you say that you can look at your book of wars and in my book of wars told me that almost every challenge that I faced, had a positive outcome just like you can you can see now but your son when that incident happened; but for the life of me I couldn’t find the positive in that suicide. Now I think I’d go back in and I and I think that the positive maybe, like my pastor talked yesterday that sometimes God breaks you so that he can fit you in for your purpose. I think that my daughter came out of that situation a stronger person but at the time I couldn’t find the positive, so how did you find the positive energy in your sister’s suicide? There’s a lot of suicides going on right now so maybe someone is listening that can benefit from some advice on how to deal with someone close to you committing suicide?

This is a great question. For me I remember just feeling that I have to make a decision for myself because she chose what she chose and we can’t control what other people choose, it was her life it was her decision even Abraham Hicks says that every death is really a suicide. Anyways when someone takes their own life we make it mean so much and it is shocking and it is traumatic, it’s not like someone gets a disease and they get degenerative because of that and then they pass, this is something that’s horrible, taking that away either but when someone abruptly ends their life in such a dramatic way it is very traumatic on everybody around them. I would look at my sister it’s like okay she chose what she chose what do I get to choose from my life? Then I started asking myself those questions. What do I want for my life? Why do I want these things? How am I going to want to feel? Really start to feel that way; but during the process I will tell you I allowed myself to feel my feelings, when I felt angry at the situation at her and anything I’ve processed my anger. I didn’t go and beat anybody up. I mean there’s a proprietary process, anger right it’s not raging it’s not hurting another person but I would feel my anger. I would yell into a pillow, there’s things you can do that are constructive for you that and as long as you’re feeling the energy of those emotions and you’re not bottling move it and I what you’re saying yes yeah If I needed to cry, I would cry. I gave myself permission to cry whenever I Felt like. I needed to cry, I would excuse myself and I will go cry.

Christy I Want to thank you so much for being an awesome guest. Our conversation today on, having it all, was very inspirational and like I said I learned a lot from you. Looking forward to our next talk, we are going to dive a little deeper into “How to use the 7 essential Laws of Attraction to create a thriving joyful and prosperous relationship with your work and money.” I Want to thank everyone for tuning in today to on the radio at www.wdjyfm.com in Metro Atlanta. This podcast is distributed to iTunes, TuneIn radio, Stitcher, Google play and now also on iHeart radio. I would love everyone who’s listening to subscribe so that the podcast can rank higher on iTunes and more people like you can listen to awesome messages like the one we have today. so Christy Until next time Namaste

How to Unleash Power Within

We are connected to divine consciousness and so we come pre-loaded with the power of the Universe, we need to learn how to, unleash the power within.

This week on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast with coach Myrna, I interview Dr Donavan Outten, Dr Outten is going to share “How to unleash your, inner greatness, also called the, power within, so you can tap into the person God intended you to be.

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Tip of the week: Are you Desperate and Determined?

A few weeks ago, my pastor preached on the 3 D’s
Desperate, Determined and Dependent!
You see the 3 D’s require a mindset shift. 
In order to, unleash power within, we must become desperate, determined and dependent. We see numerous times in the bible when God promoted and elevated people who were either desperate, determined or dependent on him for victory.
We see that every miracle begins with a desperate problem.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Lets look at the story of Esther to illustrate.
The story begins with Ahasuerus, ruler of the Persian Empire, holding a lavish banquet, initially for his court and dignitaries and afterwards for all inhabitants of the capital city, Shushan.
On the seventh day, Ahasuerus orders the queen, Vashti, to come and display her beauty before the guests by wearing only her crown. She refuses. Furious, Ahasuerus has her removed from her position and makes arrangements to choose a new queen from a selection of beautiful young women from throughout the empire.
One of these is the Jewish orphan, Esther. After the death of her parents, she was fostered by her cousin, Mordecai. She finds favor in the King’s eyes, and is crowned his new queen.
Ahasuerus appoints Haman as his viceroy. Mordecai, who sits at the palace gates, falls into Haman’s disfavour, as he refuses to bow down to him. Having discovered that Mordecai is Jewish, Haman plans to kill not just Mordecai, but all the Jews in the empire.
As the story unfolds, Esther the Jewish orphan turned queen, used her place as queen to intercede with the King; her desperation made her, unleash power within, her and risk death, because it was against the law to present herself to the King unsummoned. This was punishable by death.
Her determination, desperation and dependence on God, saved the Jews of the Persian Empire, she, unleashed her power within.

My Guest this week on Mindset Transformation Radio is Dr Donavan Outten.

Dr. Donavan Outten is a powerful trainer, consultant, educator and administrator with over 20 years’ experience. He is the Associate Vice President of Academic Affairs at Webster University.
Dr. Outten is a published author of 2 books, one of which is our topic today. Unleash your inner greatness: A guide to overcoming obstacles and Tapping into the person God meant you to be.
Dr Outten writes books to inspire and motivate individuals to achieve greatness in their lives.
His research focuses on developing young African American Students in higher education. He has also produced seminars, lectures, classes, assessments and workshops throughout the United States and Caribbean.
Dr. Outten earned his Doctorate degree in Educational Leadership from Nova.
Southeastern University, his Masters in Human Resource Development & Administration from Barry University and Bachelors in Psychology from Bethune Cookman University.

Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast
Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

Show notes: How to, Unleash Your inner Greatness: : A guide to overcoming obstacles and Tapping into the person God meant you to be.

Question 1. I know that, unleashing our, inner greatness, our, unleash our power within, is your space. Can you tell our audience what does it mean to, Unleash Your, Inner Greatness,” and a little of why you chose this topic as the subject of your book.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Question 2. So what are some of the obstacles to unleashing our, power within?

Most children today are taught not to question authority, so they go about their lives always looking for someone to direct them and never focusing on their inner strength or, power within.

Question 3. Where does the, power within, come from?

We are connected to source energy. If you take a droplet of water from the ocean, it has the same properties as the entire body of the ocean. Similarly we came from God or source, so we have the same powers. We just need to, unleash the power within.

Question 4. How does an individual muster up enough strength to have such strong determination to finish a task or overcome a devastating life situation?

• Where do they find the courage to stand up for what they believe in or battle back from a medical condition that almost took their life?

• How does one leave a secure job to start a business that they are passionate about?

• What is the secret to obtaining determination and maintaining it over a period of time?
• What kinds of people have it, and what is determination?

Dr Outten says, “In my heart, I truly believe that determination is having the will to move forward in spite of what obstacle, barrier, or difficulty you might be facing. It is looking adversity in the face and not backing down, but pushing forward with tenacity and, unleash power within.

He feels that Self-determination starts on the inside. It is first a thought or a belief that you can or will succeed no matter the problem you have to face. You believe in yourself even when no one else does. That spells confidence, character, and courage.

Access inner greatness
Access inner greatness

Question 5. What are some other obstacles to unleashing our, inner greatness?

Resilience: The path toward nurturing a resilient mindset and lifestyle is a road
that should not be taken lightly. This path has many bumps, twists, turns, and potholes
and is never straightforward. The road often contains obstacles and detours
that interfere with reaching your destination.

Passion: Your passion does not usually appear overnight. It has been dwelling
inside you for a long time. As a child, what were you passionate about? As a
teenager, what were you passionate about? As a young adult, what were you
passionate about? Often times, you will identify a pattern in what you are
passionate about. It is up to you to identify what it is and go after it.
When turning your passion into profit, you have to be careful and work smarter,
not harder. You will run into a lot of obstacles and need to face your fears, as
things probably won’t go as smoothly as you’d like them to go. It’s all a part of
the journey.

Destiny: Destiny can be referred to as a predetermined course of events. It may
be conceived as a predetermined future, whether in general or of an individual.
What you perceive your future to be will come to pass if you work for it, believe
in it, and live your life towards it.
What you have today does not reflect what you will obtain tomorrow. If you have
the capability of looking into your future and seeing what lies ahead, then all you
have to do is work towards your goal.
Walking towards your destiny is no easy task because you will have obstacles and
hurdles along the way. There will be road blocks that will make you think that
you are going down the wrong path, but you will need to have patience,
endurance, and faith. Your faith will play a big part in finding and fulfilling your
destiny; you will need to seek guidance from God and, unleash power within.

Question 6. I know that you work predominately with the African American youth. What advice would you give them on being determined and staying the course?
You have to better than good, you have to be great.
You have to work twice as hard for the same opportunity as your white counterparts.

If you find this content valuable, please share and subscribe to my iTunes by clicking the link below:
Transform Your Mind with coach Myrna

 

Additional Resources

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/determination

 

 

How to Get and How to Keep a Man

How to Find Hardcore Happiness

 

Stephanie Stanford, Love Empowerment Coach tell us the secrets to get and, how to keep a man.

Stephanie teaches audiences how to reach inside and access the power that’s always been there through the power of LOVE!
She’s worn tiara’s on stage, thrown candy in the crowd and performed lip sync of “All About That Base” to keep the crowds laughing while they learn. Her down to earth tips make it easy for anyone to master the mysteries of love and bring out the peace, passion and princess-power of every woman.

In her interview on How to Get and, How to Keep a Man, Stephanie says that, Self Love, shuts down Self doubt so you can take action!

Relationship Love doesn’t have to be so hard. Life Love keeps you balanced, peaceful and calm in a crazy world.

“When your life is filled with love, then you are free to pursue your purpose” You can experience Self Love, Relationship Love and Life love!

 

Love is life a Boomerang, it always comes back, so give it freely. It is like seeds that blow in the wind. It does not always come back from the people we choose to love; but it always comes back. Check out my Chapter on Love in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”

Stephanie tells us that men have needs and some of those needs are to be the man, to be appreciated, to feel important.
It is not only important to know how To Get a man but also, how to keep a man, once you get him. Women need to know how to let a man know they are interested and then step back and let the man lead.
To Get and Keep a Man, women needs, self love. If you have no love for self you can’t give love. It is also the #1 thing women can do to improve their relationships. 

Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast
Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

Here are some ways on, how to keep a man

  1. Trust him with all your heart. If you want to, keep a man, don’t treat him like just another guy who is unworthy of your trust. …
  2. Love yourself. …
  3. Have faith in him. …
  4. Make him feel handsome. …
  5. Make him feel he’s the only one. …
  6. Don’t make him feel jealous. …
  7. Let him know and understand you. …
  8. Be humble.
  9. Love yourself.

You cannot give away what you don’t have so, self love, is important.

Cliché? Sure. But if you don’t do it, you can’t expect anyone else to.

We all have a need to love and be loved. Developing our capacity to love ourselves serves as a training ground for loving other people.

If you can’t love yourself, you don’t believe that you are worthy of others’ love. And if you don’t believe you’re worthy of others’ love, you’ll struggle to build a healthy, long-term relationship.

Are you perhaps now thinking that you’re still just dating, and it’s way too soon to be thinking about love?

This isn’t about being in love, it’s about laying the foundations for love a little further down the line.

It’s about making sure that you’re lovable and demonstrating to your guy that you’re worthy of his continuing interest.

Think back to your very first forays into the world of relationships as a teen. Maybe you were nervous and unsure of yourself. You were probably still figuring out your identity and your place in the world.

While some lucky people manage to successfully forge a long-lasting relationship in their early years, most of us just haven’t learned to love ourselves enough at that young age to be able to do it.

How to keep a man, Be Humble and Nice!

Being nice sounds like a no-brainer, right? But spend too much time trying to be nice and you risk being the opposite.

In those early days where you’re spending a lot of emotional energy getting to know someone, you can end up feeling a bit wrung out and all over the place.

You feel like you’re constantly thinking about how to react and what impression you’re giving.

You’re trying to be nice and make a good impression, but you end up putting him off because you’re overthinking everything and it shows (if you think it doesn’t, you’re wrong).

Stop doing this. By trying to be nice all the time, you’re not being yourself. No-one is constantly nice and undemanding.

Sometimes, everyone is a bit ratty after a hard day of work, or a bit upset about a family argument, or whatever. It’s OK to not be totally OK all of the time.

How to Keep a man, Make him feel Handsome

This is the perfect stage for being super-seductive. At this point, your sex life should be getting pretty hot.

You’re past any initial awkwardness, you’re getting to know each other but there’s still a hell of a lot for you to explore. This is a great time to make the most of your lust.

Remember that flirting isn’t just something you do in the first couple of dates. If you want your relationship to work out long-term, keep on flirting.

Remember that all the flirting you did in those heady early dates isn’t going to be enough to carry you through forever.

Flirting in a relationship, makes him feel handsome. Isn’t quite the same as flirting in order to try and get someone’s attention. It is letting him know that you only have eyes for him. That makes him feel good.

These tips show you to not only, how to keep a man, but how to thrive in your relationship 

Subscribe to the Transform Your Mind podcast on iTunes 

Keep Your Vision in Front of You

Keep Your, Vision,  in Front of you – Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.

In OUT OF THE SNARES, MYRNA BERNADETTE TROTMAN shares her story of child abuse, poverty and her success as an entrepreneur. As a certified, Life Coach, she shares ten undeniable resources she used to help her achieve success and live the American Dream. This inspirational and motivational book will help you to reach your potential and achieve new levels of success in your life. Get these ten principles based on biblical principles and Universal Laws, deep down in your spirit and boldly go in the direction of your destiny:

Principle # 1. Keep Your Vision in Front of you

 

Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.

Like a Blacksmith, you need to keep hitting the Anvil, pounding it daily, shaping your dreams

If you build it they will come

Don’t let life’s challenges knock you off course remember:

“Circumstances does not make the man, it reveals him to himself” ~ James Allen

Man is the Lord and Master of his thoughts and thus is the maker of himself.

In my book “Out of the Snares” I tell a compelling story of my, vision, of America as my promised land. My Land of milk and honey. I kept that, vision, in front of me and kept picking myself up after each failure believing that I would succeed, and I did.

https://myhelps.us/out-of-the-snares/

A few weeks ago I was talking to a young leader, trying to upgrade his, vision casting, skills. I gave him four simple tips about communicating, vision.

1. CLARITY. Leaders must create clarity by narrowing the focus when casting, vision. Everything that can be done in the name of God is not sign at all. It is a sign of undisciplined thinking. The leader’s job is to focus the organization on the core essentials. The more we focus on and clarify essentials, the easier it is to identify and eliminate non-essentials.

2. COMPELLING. Once your goals are clarified, it must be communicated in a way that is compelling. A leader who makes an unprepared sloppy presentation can make an otherwise exciting goals seem boring. Compelling goals produces action. Boring goals produces nothing.

3. COMMITMENT. Casting a clear and compelling, vision, without calling for commitment is a waste of everyone’s time. Real leaders are committed and they call others to commitment. Some leaders are hesitant to demand sacrificial commitment because they are not all-in themselves. Commitment is an example that leaders set, not a message they teach. Leadership commitment is contagious. So is leadership non-commitment.

4. COMMUNITY. Clear and compelling goals attracts committed people. As these people sacrifice for the common, vision, community happens. Trying to create community for the sake of community creates unhealthy ingrown short-lived community. Doing goals together creates strong healthy long-term community.

SUMMARY. As a leader, you are the visionary for your church, ministry, or organization. If you communicate a, vision, that is clear and compelling, if you model and call for commitment, you will end up with a strong healthy community. You will also accomplish your dreams.

Additional Resources:

https://blog.myhelps.us/vision-fails-5-things-can-failure/

https://blog.myhelps.us/ten-characteristics-of-an-entrepreneur-leader/

https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/resumes-cover-letters/leadership-skills