Certified Life coach, Myrna Young and registered social worker, Arifah Yusaf discuss, How to Heal your Brokenness,
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Today I embarq on a new format for the Transform your Mind, to Transform your Life radio and podcast. I have Ms Arifah Yusaf Mortley in the co-host chair. I have known Arifah for some 12 years now. She is the wife of my son and the mother of my grandson. Over the years I have been super impressed with her brilliance as a social worker, mental health counselor and entrepreneur. Arifah is the founder and Program Director of Lifted by Purpose, a company that Provides a diverse range of services including workshops or programs designed to help the youth in Toronto, Canada deal with mental health issues, make positive changes in their lives after issues with the criminal justice system. Arifah has been a social worker and mental health counselor for over 15 years and she just started working with the prison system to help inmates live fulfilling lives after being released from prison.
I wanted to collaborate with Arifah to combine my skills as a, Life coach, and her skills as a, mental health counselor, to give you the listeners real life tips and strategies to navigate this Life. This Life is the only one you have and you should live it to the fullest.
So we are going to be talking about real life issues and struggles of the, minority woman.
- How to heal your brokenness
- Depression and
- Suicidal thoughts,
- Feelings of not being good enough,
- The life of the single woman,
- How to supercharge your marriage,
- How to leave abusive relationships,
- How to develop an abundance mindset and not live in lack,
- How to engage the Laws of Attraction so you can live a Life by design.
These are just a few of the topics that we plan to discuss every week. I will have also open up a comment section on my this blog for your input on suggested topics. You can send me a direct message through my website https://myhelps.us/contact-us/ to suggest topics that you would like us to discuss.
To be sure not to miss any of our Life Changing topics, Please Download, subscribe and share this blog and podcast with your friends so they can also receive tips to live their best lives now.
Arifah What was the reason you chose the career as a Social Worker?
I grew up in a community that was under-serviced. A lot of young people in my community had gone through a lot of challenges including myself and there was not a lot of support available. There were no channels where we could channel our energy in a positive direction or just have somebody to speak to. And so as I went through high school, I wanted to really make an impact; so I decided to pursue a career in social work. I also wanted to work mostly with young people. After I graduated from Ryerson University I pursued my passion.
Lets look at the mental health the topic of, How to Heal your Brokenness,
My pastor taught a sermon on, brokenness, a few months back, and he made the analogy of a broken vase. He said that a broken or cracked vase cannot hold any content, everything leaks out. That means that if you are broken, you cannot hold love, you cannot hold appreciation, you cannot hold compliments, you are incapable of receiving and holding anything. So it is very important for us to find our cracks and mend them. As, minority women, most of us have experienced some brokenness in our lives.
Here are the top 3 reasons for, Brokenness:
- Devalued and rejected by others
- Abandoned by our parents
- Feelings of not being good enough because we have lack.
Arifah, from a mental health perspective, How do we Heal brokenness?
I know in our practice of social work and in psychology, a lot of clinical professionals, look at the research study around ACES which is our first childhood experiences.
That study basically states that childhood experiences that they had before the age of 18, whether that be witnessing abuse or being abused themselves, living in poverty or just going through traumatic events; Those experiences impact their, brokenness, as they grow up into adulthood. It may impact how they maneuver through success or how they view themselves as failures.
These experience are also linked to risky health behaviors, chronic health conditions, low life potential and even early death.
Myrna Young, Life Coach, I agree that risky behaviors from, brokenness, usually means an absence of self-love and that can definitely lead to early death.
I am going to niche down in our conversation today to address women of color and, minority women, because that’s who we are.
As women we can be broken both in our childhood and by narcissistic men in our adult lives, who have rejected us or devalued us.
Our, brokenness, becomes compounded. Also when we experience, brokenness, as children those experiences can leads us to get into unhealthy relationships. Healing our, brokenness, prevents us from repeating this pattern of unhealthy relationships.
It takes work to heal our cracks. The first step in coaching is to identify how you became broken and then replace your subconscious programming with a new program similar to writing over a CD disk.
Myrna Young, Life coach, How to heal your Brokenness,
- Acknowledge that you are broken
- Follow the pain – pay attention to where it hurts
- Trust outside eyes. Have close trusted friends to tell you what they see. This can also be a, life coach who can uncover your blind spots.
- Allow love to mold you like the potter molds clay.
Arifah Yusaf, Mental Health Counselor, How to Heal your Brokenness,
Here is a story on, How we become broken, and the process of healing.
In my years of practice, I obviously had a lot of opportunities to engage young people who have expressed feeling broken based on their lived experiences or their adverse childhood experiences. As we talked about earlier in the segment, those experiences impact how they view themselves, how they show up in relationships, in their place within society or their environments.
I recall speaking with this young woman who shared witnessing domestic abuse at home. She actually found her mother’s body when she came home from school one day. She was then placed into the foster care system. At 18 years old having nowhere to go, she was placed into a shelter. I remember her telling me that she really struggled with her identity and her self-esteem. She harbored resentment towards her family because nobody had come to claim her in Foster care.
In her late teens she became pregnant and wanted to connect with her family, because she was starting to feel isolated and she wanted her child to know more about her family history. But she faced rejection once more. She decided that it was all up to her, to make a difference in her child’s life.
She then stared setting small goals for herself and accomplishing them. That started building her self-esteem. She became more engaged in her community and connecting with other single mothers. She stopped blaming others or comparing herself to others and continued her healing process.
She decided to develop a plan with a network of positive healthy people. Eventually she stopped defining herself as broken because then she realized that she really could make a difference in her life. It was all up to her, no one else. Like the analogy of the broken vase, she couldn’t hold self-esteem, or self-worth, as a broken vessel, everything leaked out. When she became whole everything stayed in. That is, how to heal your brokenness,
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