Life Mastery: 7 Habits to Create Success

Life Mastery: Habits for success

We attain, life mastery, by our daily habits. The habits we need to be cultivating daily has to include something physical, something spiritual, and personal development to build your brain.

In this episode, Sherry Fernandez, NYT Bestselling author talks about, Life mastery, how to develop the habits needed for success.

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Bio

Sherry Fernandez is the author of the New York Times, bestselling book ‘Life Mastery: Personal Progression Toward an Infinite Potential’. The book has sold tens of thousands of copies globally and has been featured on several leading media outlets. She has been a student of personal development for 40+ years.  What makes her program unique is that she practiced and refined the life mastery principles taught for decades, before deciding to share them with others.

Sherry helps people who are already living well and looking for ways to reach new heights in their personal growth, personal finances, or personal health, to see what’s possible. She helps her clients improve in their close relationships, careers, spiritual growth or starting new businesses.

Myrna: What are some habits that propel us to, life mastery?

Sherry: When I work with people, it goes beyond the big vision of what we want, for example, like who we want to marry. I knew what I wanted. I never wanted to ever get married and have children, but then I had one and then I decided to keep that child. My parents did not give me my drive. They had nine marriages between them. So, I wanted something different. So I thought if I am going to do this, I'm gonna do the very best marriage possible. I don't think it's gonna be very fun. I thought it was gonna be horrible, but I loved the guy.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

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Daily habits to master your marriage

So, I read every book I could find on, marriages. I had a vision of what I wanted my marriage to look like and so I started working on it.  I did the things that was the books said I should do and I even exceeded my vision of what a marriage should be. And we've been married for 45 years and still having the best sex. And so, all these things exceeded my vision. I put the principles to work early on and went to work on, life mastery.  It was a slow growth right but I just kept at it and kept at it until I developed the habits for, life mastery.  I was able to exceed my dreams. And I think that's how it works. You have this big dream or big goal and then you work on it, turns out even better than you thought it was going to be.

When we're moving forward, we're happy and you can prove that in a day. Do something move to move forward a little bit, some little thing and see how it makes you feel.  I've had people come to me and say I didn't have time to work out. And I would say. Commit to me to do something tomorrow. And then Tell me how it went and all they'll do what they always do. They do this yeah, I feel happier. It's one step. It's amazing day just one step forward and People are happier. You don't have to get there because you never get there anyway. It's just taking the steps forward that make you happy. And then they compound.

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Steps to building life mastery

Myrna: What are some of the steps that can get us to, life mastery?

Sherry: What you do every day is what's gonna make you successful your, daily habits. So, when I have a client come in, I don't ask them what they want to work on. We work on their goals but not the very first week.

  • First off, they need something physical,
  • We need to work on something spiritual. If they're religious people, they know that there's something there in their religion they need to be doing or maybe they need to pick up something spiritual. Practice meditation is something spiritual.
  • You need something for your brain. You need to be educating yourself and learning and growing all the time. Preferably something in your field and some things that are outside your field every day.

So those 3 habits will get a lot of people started on, life mastery. There's gonna be some habits that must be forever disrupted the same way. But education must be an ongoing forever habit. Physical Fitness has to be an ongoing, every day, forever habit. spiritual practices must be every day and you can't miss. You can’t say I will pray tomorrow; today’s prayer is for today. Tomorrow’s prayer is for tomorrow.

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Daily habits build life mastery

You must work out every day. You cannot say, I will work out 5 mins today and 60 mins tomorrow to make up for today. I learned this the hard way. I had 6 kids, that means all the ballgames and all the dance lessons and all the laundry and all that stuff. And sometimes I think I'm too busy to do my personal self-care like physical fitness. But I had to do it no exception. If I didn’t spend any time on self-care, I felt less happy at the end of the day.

We're happy when we take care of our health, take care of ourselves and do personal development, then go out in the world and make a difference. If I didn't get the laundry done. I could live with that. I can do that tomorrow. But If I didn’t do my personal development practices, I couldn’t live with that.  And you don't save time by skipping it.

Myrna: Yeah, so you know your, life mastery habits, are  foundational. So, let's touch on, personal finances. You saying that if you want to make lots of money, it's a good driver for, Life Mastery. And I think, what you basically saying is that, goals, are a driver of, personal finances. If you have a goal of doing something then you will achieve it. So how do you teach your clients to want lots of money and then go ahead and make it happen?

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Seven steps to making lots of money

Sherry: There's are seven areas they need to work on to make lots of money:

  1. Spirituality,
  2. Relationships,
  3. fitness,
  4. education,
  5. money,
  6. vocation,
  7. character

And so, money it's only one piece of a piece pie, but it is important. So, they set their own goals. I work with a lot of entrepreneurs. So, we do a lot of entrepreneurial kinds of goals, for example doing more good in the world.

Jim Rohn said make a million dollars for what it can do for others.

Make a lot of money, you are gonna touch a ton of lives, you're gonna get to spread that money around. You can do so much good both with the money and with the resources. Elon Musk went to the moon with his money. He wants to build a transportation system into space.  That is doing good with your money.

Learn, apply, live, learn how to support yourself, then learn how to been able to support some other people like your family. And then when your finances good, and you've learned a whole bunch of stuff. Then you can go find another way. You can choose how you serve.  I can choose how I serve because I have the financial resources to serve any how I want.

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Life mastery habit: track your daily habits

Myrna: Tell us about your, life mastery, classes and how we can get in touch with you.

Sherry: I'm a big believer in simple systems.  So, I believe the simple steps that I teach, the first one is you got to track your, daily habits. You got to just track your daily habits, daily.

Peter Drucker said “What gets measured gets managed”

Your, daily tracker, will track your daily habits and that's how you develop, life mastery habits. So, on my website there is a daily tracking chart you can download for free.  It just lists the, daily habits, you want to do down the left hand column. It's like a calendar the days of the month across the top and you just you write down your activity like, meditation, workout, eat clean, floss my teeth, 20 minutes of devotion etc. These are the, daily habits, you want to track.

You have got to set the parameters. You must say what is the workout? Thinking very clear, what constitutes a workout? Is it 5 mins or 45 mins? Because if you don’t and you work out for 5 mins when you should be working out for 45 mins, workout doesn’t get crossed off the list on your, daily tracker. If your daily step count is 14,000 steps and you do 13,900, it doesn’t count. Then you didn't get it done.

Book: Life Mastery
Book: Life Mastery

Affirmations build life mastery

The, daily tracker, also works for, affirmations. One of my affirmations is that I have I laugh easily and often. So, what that means is so about eight to 10 of those every day on things that don't really matter so they can be they can reinforce another habit. Another affirmation could be, I get up early. You put it on the tracking sheet. I have an affirmation about being aware of my thoughts and working on mindfulness.

I have about five to about 13 affirmations. But I would suggest people you can go ahead and do about 10 affirmations for, life mastery.

Myrna: What’s your website? Also tell us about your Book “Life Mastery, Personal Progression Towards An infinite Potential.”

Sherry: My website is www.LifeMasteryinfo.com. Life Mastery was taken. You can email me any time about anything and I will respond. My email is sherry@lifeMastereryinfo.com.  My mission now because I made enough money so I can get what I want is to make a difference.

Additional Resources

Mind Power: The Amazing Power of Your Mind

 

Setting Goals In Clock Time vs Psychological Time

Setting goals in Clock Time

Setting goals, in, clock time, means we are not emotionally attached to them. We are able to enjoy the journey and not just the destination.  But when you, set goals, in,  psychological time, you are never fulfilled when you achieve them.  You have heard of people who, set goals, and when they attain these goals, they are only happy for a brief moment and then they are unfulfilled again. That is because they are psychologically attached to the goal. The subconscious mind is telling them that until this goal is achieved, happiness is not possible. Or until this goal is achieved, they are not successful.

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Setting goals in psychological time

Let’s say owning a house on the beach is your symbol of success and you tell yourself that until you live on the beach in a beautiful mansion, you cannot feel fulfilled or feel successful. This means that you are not going to enjoy the journey.  You are psychologically tied to living on the beach as your means to the end.

Or let’s take the goal of being married. Most women have this goal.

Marriage could be a symbol of acceptance that you are enough, because someone says you complete them, or they can’t live without you etc. Marriage could symbolize the success you dreamed of as a little girl.

But what happens when you achieve this goal? Does it create lasting happiness? The divorce rate is 50% or higher. Nothing wrong with that goal but do you stop living until you get married.  Are you enjoying all the perks of being single?

Does achieving any goal fulfill you forever? You know the answer to the question.

No it does not.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Setting goals in clock time

That is because goals set using, psychological time, says that until this event happens, you will not be happy or successful or fulfilled.  When you achieve these goals, you are happy for a few days and then you are not.

Goals set with, psychological time, never fulfills because the goal post is always moving.

It is okay to set goals, but you must enjoy the present moment.

You must enjoy where you are now.

If you ask yourself what is lacking now, the answer should always be nothing.

Goal setting, in,  clock time, says If success comes, I will accept it, but if it doesn’t, I am okay with that too.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

That is why we can’t tell ourselves that until something happens in life then we will be happy, fulfilled, complete etc. because not only can you die waiting for this goal to manifest, but if you achieve this goal, you will still not be complete or happy. Why because you have to take care of the inside before things on the outside.

When you take care of your inside, joy is always your partner. You are happy with or without.  You are happy for the breath of life.  If you add success to this you will find fulfillment.

Additional Resources

How To Conquer The 5 Most Common Causes of Failure

How to Create Your Own Matrix In The Game Of Life

Your game of life - The Matrix

What “The Matrix” the movie was trying to show is that we're inside of a game, we're, consciousness, inside of the,  game of life. And so, our reality is a merging of the, game of life, outside the body.  When Noe realized he could control the game he says, why don't I change it? Why don’t I change the rules? Why don't I change the way I interact with it? Why don't I populate it? And that is where he's able to start to control his reality, and create his own matrix. We can all do the same thing.

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Bio

Alana Aviel is a guide to Mastering the Creation of your Reality. Alana Aviel of AKIATA is an Oracle, Channel, Teacher, and Spiritual Guide/Activator working primarily in the Quantum Realm. Following a powerful near-death experience, Alana has humbly stepped fully into her service as a guide and teacher in the Akasha and assists in total obliteration of old paradigm patterns and limitations to being. Her work focuses on identifying the cues of one’s reality and activating our natural powers as the creator of our Reality to live an aware and empowered life.

Myrna: Tell us about your near-death experience?

Alana: I was in a motorcycle accident where I was in a coma and have a severe brain injury. It was actually the conclusion of one, soul's journey, and the initiation of my soul's journey. So that was the start of my adventure. And it's what's called a, walk-in soul, experience. So where one soul kind of says, okay, I'm ready to conclude my journey here on Earth, and it creates an opportunity for another soul to kind of hop in and continue the journey.

Myrna: Take us on a chronological journey.

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Near Death experience and a walk in soul

Alana: Yeah, so most people are born you know, they're a baby they live a life they grow up they have school, they have childhood memories, maybe some trauma, all those experiences. And you know, when we understand the, near-death experience, somebody kind of hops out of the game for a minute and comes back right? What I'm saying is I'm actually a different soul continuing the journey of the person who created this body. So, I don't have childhood memories. I don't have a point of reference. That was a story of a soul that preceded me and I kind of came in midstream.

Myrna: Wow. In the, near-death experience, a new soul walks in.  I have never heard this before.

Alana: This is what some people call a, walk-in soul. But for me, the most powerful kind of contrast is, I don't come with the context of a life experience that most people have, most people have childhood memories. They have, you know, trauma that you can inquire or, you know, an impact about beliefs or an impression of, you know, things that they learned in school, because I kind of came in midstream, I have the benefit of some of the memories that Alana kind of left me.

Myrna: What was the experience that the original soul left that a new soul came in? You mentioned something about a motorcycle accident.

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The soul agreement and game of life

Alana: In 2007 the original Alana experienced severe head injury, in a motorcycle accident and was in a coma for a good amount of time. And I would say that was the time that we kind of changed places you could say during that coma, whatever her soul had chosen was saying okay, this is going to be the conclusion of my adventure here on this earth game. I'm sure that she and I created a, soul agreement, that I would pick up where she left off.  And so I woke from the coma, started to understand, oh, this is the new life experience. These are some of the rules. These are some of the ways that she lives. These are some of the things that she did, these are some of the people that she knew, and I kind of just picked up the roll from there and carried on.

Myrna: How does a, walk-in soul, take us to the, matrix?

Alana: Yeah, so, you know, we use this term, matrix, or we use this term like the, game of life. Basically, it's an experience inside of, consciousness. And the interesting thing is people identify the, matrix, or the ego as the limitations, the obstacles, the challenges, the lack or the struggle of trauma, those types of things, right. And sometimes people identify the matrix as this force outside of us, like the government or you know, all of these other limitations; but in reality, what you need to see is the limitations are how our subconscious designs our, game of life.

The matrix or, game of life, is to be played based on what our soul identifies as wanting to experience inside of, consciousness. And so, when I talk about limiting suffering, it can be as simple as changing the way one identifies inside of consciousness. Because the way that we identify inside of, consciousness, will define the experience that we have.

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What is consciousness

Myrna: Well, you know, that 99.9% of people don't even know, what is consciousness. We just show up play the, game of life. We're in the matrix and you know, it's tumbling us around and we're reacting to outside stimulus. But consciousness is a big word. And even though I'm in the space of, awareness and, consciousness, and, trying to create my own reality. I know that I'm not at the top of the game.  So, when you are saying that we're limited in our, consciousness. Explain for the layman what that means.

Alana: So there's four ways to experience reality. And as you said, 99% of people have that perspective that life happens to them that they're kind of a victim to circumstances. So, they are at the entry level of the, game of life. When people have an awakening, they start to experience a level of consciousness where they start to realize, I'm actually the observer in the game. I'm able to transcend these limitations and look at them with a different context, a more divine perspective.  All of a sudden they are able to take themselves outside of that victim-hood and say, wait, there's something else going on here.

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The matrix illustrates how to play the game of life

And that's what the movie “The Matrix Movie” kind of illustrates. He takes the red pill or the blue pill and all of a sudden, he realizes the game isn't what he thought it was. Similar thing happens when people have an awakening. So, the stage that comes after the observer, is we're starting to notice okay, I can see the way this works a little bit differently. It's not necessarily happening to me, but I'm participating in it in a way that I can't quite explain. Then we get to manifesting what we want in this, matrix.

I know a lot of people who are really getting on to the idea of manifesting using affirmations, using depth of beliefs to create inside their experience. So now you're not only just observing life, but you're playing as a creator. In my experience, I can create my prosperity through my belief, I can create my relationships in a different way through my belief, now I understand myself, and we really have kind of left the victim hood and started to be more of a creator. When you play the, game of life, as a creator, it’s like putting their heart, their skin, their dreams, and their imagination into action.

And then once you really get to a place where you are merging with, divine consciousness, which can be known to some people as enlightenment, you know, we've had a lot of ascended masters that have set this example Buddha, Jesus all the other ones, right. This is where reality can be perceived as being created in real time, exclusively from our mindset. And so, this is where everything in our experience is a manifestation of the mind.

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The matrix is the quantum field

Myrna: Sure, so from what I remember of the, matrix, you know, there was a body, sitting in a chair, and he took the pill and he was going to the Oracle and the Oracle said that he was the One.  But that reality of the matrix didn't actually affect the body. Right? Because there's one time he got shot in the matrix and he was sitting a chair still alive. So, help us play the game where we're in a matrix, which is the, quantum field, and then we're in our body. How does that work?

Alana: Well, I mean, there's a lot of layers to it. The first thing that I find is most valuable for everybody is we're all the guy. We are all the One. So everybody is in their own unique matrix.  What “The Matrix” the movie was trying to show is that we're inside of a game, we're, consciousness, inside of a game. And so, our reality is a merging of the, game of life, outside the body.  When he realized he could control the game he says, why don't I change it? Why don’t I change the rules? Why don't I change the way I interact with it? Why don't I populate it? And that is where he's able to start to control his reality, which is what we're talking about.

And he's able to watch himself participating in real time, which is like what manifesting is, you know, you set your intention or what Dr Joe Dispenza talks about and “Becoming Supernatural” you can heal yourself, but only because you made yourself aware of your capacity to do so. So, my cheat code that the matrix illustrates so beautifully is that our mindset is everything. How we identify is everything. We identify ourselves as always running after our next paycheck. The paychecks are going to keep running away from us. If we identify ourselves as somebody where money is running to us, money will run to us.

Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

The Game of Life leaves clues

The game of life, this movie The Matrix, that's a clue, the book The Secret, that's a clue. And there's so many clues that are kind of naturally built into the game. And one of my favorite ways to understand the clues is to look at the life of children. Because children know how to play the, game of life. They haven't picked up the muck that kind of makes us forget. And so, what do they do? Kids play dress up, they use their imagination. They pick up a block, it becomes a car, right? Kids know how to play the, game of life, and then we pick up beliefs and the baggage from society. And just increase our degrees of forgetting until we find it again.

Myrna: How we can get in touch with you if you're on social media. Tell us your handles.

Alana: Yeah, beautiful. My handle on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/akiataetheric/ and Tiktok is @akiatsetheric. If they follow me I share a lot of juicy mind bending ideas and concepts. But most importantly I have this experience called the mirror dimension. And if you go to mirror-dimension.com You'll find my membership there we meet weekly to learn how to read your reality. It's really easy, accessible, low-cost program for people to come in and start to learn about themselves to learn about the conscious experience playing a, game of life, learning all the cues.

I find it very important for us to include unpacking people's personal experiences as demonstrations of what does this clue mean? What did that challenge what was that challenge trying to say? So, we workshop in real time in the mirror dimension to learn how to be better creators in our reality.  It's a really incredible workshop style experience for people to come and learn and grow.

Additional Resources

How to Win at the Game of Life

 

How To Use Faith To Get What You Want

Coach Myrna Ask and have faith

The Magic of faith is in your beliefs. Your beliefs are the currency of faith. Faith is essential to manifesting your desires. It is the currency of the spiritual world. It is the currency of God.

Trust God and have faith that he will give you the desires of your heart.

Trust that all is well.

Hold the vision and trust the process.

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Have faith and go with the flow

Go with the flow, try not to constantly swim upstream.

Tune into guidance and intuition, you let the universe take you where you want to go.

You also must commit to being faithful. A lot of times, things don’t come when you think they should.

You are either doing something or you are waiting for something to happen. You are either committed or you are not.

Obstacles become opportunities when you are committed

With commitment, failure is not an option

Get clear of what you want and why you want it that helps you stay committed

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Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

Ask and have faith that you will receive

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • What specifically do I want to happen? include details.
  • Why do I want this to happen?
  • How will I feel when I achieve this happens?
  • Am I willing to ask for support if it does not happen?
  • Will I refuse to give up?
  • Am I excited about making this promise to myself?
  • Will I enjoy the journey from where I am now to where I want to be?

The bible says, Ask and you will receive. You must have, faith, that you father in heaven will give you the desires of your heart all you have to do is ask for it in prayer.

If you don't ask you don't get -Gandhi

Ask and you will receive – Jesus

When you ask you get.

Ask with confidence and certainty.

Ask with determination and persistence.

Ask clearly and precisely.

Ask for what you want.

Ask for a discount.

Ask for a major guest if you are a podcast host like me.

Ask for a loan.

Ask for a date.

Ask for affection.

Ask to be of service.

Ask for the listing if you are a realtor.

Ask for the sale.

Ask Ask Ask.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Ask and believe you will receive

See yourself in possession of what you are asking.

Connect with source and Ask God in prayer. Learn how to, ask god for what you want.

Make a strong declaration this is what I want and I not settling for less.

When you ask you get it immediately but it is held in your, vortex, as un-manifested potential.

Whatever you ask for have already manifested vibrational and are waiting for you in, the vortex.

Vibrational reality, always precedes, physical reality, whatever you hold in your hand you first held in your head. Your, vibrational reality, is how you are feeling most of the time.  It’s the thoughts you are having that translate into the emotions that you are feeling.

Most people are influenced by their, physical reality, to the exclusion of everything else.  If something happens in their, physical reality, they react to it.  They have thoughts and judgments about what is happening and those thoughts and judgments translate into feelings about what is happening.  We’ve all been there and done that.  It's part of being human in this physical world.

To get into the, vortex, and activate, the law of attraction, you need to work with your, vibrational reality, for the things you asked for, you must reach for the best feeling thoughts in every moment. This is, how you ask the Universe for what you want.

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Curiocaster podcast

The law of attraction works with faith

Think good feeling thoughts.  Stuff your, vortex, with positive energy and with good feeling actions.

  • like walking in nature
  • meditation,
  • singing your favorite song
  • hugging your children,
  • hugging your spouse,
  • talking a hot bath,
  • getting a massage

Ask for what you want, have faith that if you ask you will receive, remain committed to the journey.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Additional Resources

How to Let Your Desires Flow

Understanding Mental Illness: My Bipolar Life

My Bipolar Life

If you have been diagnosed with, mental illness, or, Bipolar disorder,  it means that you probably think of ending your life all the time.  In this episode, I interview Gabe Howard, who was diagnosed with, Bipolar disorder, at age 25.

Before then Gabe said that he did not know he was sick. His parents thought  he was just acting out and would punish him for his behavior. But he remembers thinking of suicide all his life, until he got treatment. No one knew he was, Bipolar.

Today GABE HOWARD is an award-winning speaker, author, and podcast host who lives with bipolar disorder. He hosts the weekly Psych Central Podcast and is the co-host of the Not Crazy podcast. He’s the author of Mental Illness is an Asshole – and Other Observations and has appeared on numerous websites, podcasts, and in many traditional media outlets

Introduction to My Bipolar Life

I was diagnosed with, Bipolar disorder, when I was when I was 25 years old. I didn't know that I was sick. I had all of these, mental health, symptoms. They were causing me a lot of personal problems. I had a drug and alcohol problem, hyper sexuality was an issue, my relationships were just being destroyed, all because of, mental illness, but I didn't know anything was wrong.

Then one day I ended up in a psychiatric hospital, because I was ready to end my own life. I thought about suicide as far back as I can remember.

I just thought it was normal to want to die.

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What is, Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is a mental illness marked by extreme changes in mood from high to low, and from low to high. Highs are periods of mania, while lows are periods of depression. The changes in mood may even become mixed, so you might feel elated and depressed at the same time.

The problem Gabe says is that when you are in the middle is when you get the job, the girl, the promotion, get married.  You usually loose these things when you are depressed or manic;  being in the middle is where you want to be.

I became an advocate because I consider myself to be a smart person and I don't have like some story about how my parents were awful. My parents are good people, they loved me very much. My dad was a truck driver my mom a stay-at-home mom and they did all the things right.

They were engaged, they loved me, they were present and none of us knew that I was, Bipolar, None of us got me any help. I thought wow if I didn't know, if my family didn't know, if all of that love and engagement and connection and caring and they just missed it. There must be other people that are in my shoes. That's why I became a, mental health advocate.

I just wanted to talk about, Bipolar, openly so that there just wouldn't be other people wandering around sick and scared and symptomatic. They could get help, because I was really lucky.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

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Hypnosis-Everywhere with Ines Simpson explores, dissects, discusses and opens up the world of Hypnosis. You will discover that Hypnosis is a very big world indeed. In Hypnosis-Everywhere, Ines offers you tools and answers to deal with that tricky mind of yours, and proven ways to enrich your life.

Fears, Anxieties, Phobias, PTSD, Body health, Mind Health, Spiritual Health are just some of the things Hypnosis works for. Hypnosis-Everywhere is a show about our minds and the miracles we can achieve for ourselves and each other

webpage https://hypnosis.simpsonprotocol.com/hypnosis-on-the-radio

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What is Mental Illness?

Mental Illness is an Asshole!

In his book Mental Illness is an Asshole – and Other Observations

Mental Illness is an Asshole is Gabe Howard’s first collection of articles about living with mental illness.

All the articles date from 2014 through 2018 and include his observations on reaching recovery, stigma, and living well in spite of depression, bipolar, and anxiety. Totaling over 380 pages, Gabe even shares the story of his :): logo for the first time.

For years, Gabe Howard’s entertaining articles and essays have been educating people about living with mental illness. His observations cover everything from practical advice to family relationships to the fears that people with mental illness experience.

In essays such as “Anxiety Says Everyone Hates Me,” “I Have Bipolar and I’m a Hypocrite,” and, yes, “Mental Illness Is an Asshole,” Gabe makes mental illness less scary and more understandable.

I had a suicide plan and I just happen to run into somebody that understood that understood mental illness and it she looked at me and asked me “are you planning on killing yourself?” Her training allowed her to ask that question and I said yes! She he me committed to the psychiatric hospital.

I was diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, and of course once I was diagnosed with, bipolar, to go on and lead good life. This is why I always say that I was lucky.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio
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What is, Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar disorder, is commonly described as extreme highs to extreme lows. From suicidal depression all the way to God like mania. As a, Bipolar, you will have to battle depression where you want to die, and feel like you want to die, you feel like you want everything to end. When you are in Mania, you feel like the whole world revolves around you.

Then there is the middle. Everything is normal. That’s when you get the job, that's when you meet the girl, that's when you get married, buy the house, have all the friends; all the things that you lose when you become symptomatic.

Psych Meds for, Bipolar Disorder, the Good, Bad, and the Ugly

Psychiatric medications are the religion and politics of the mental health advocacy world.

In this episode, we cover the good, the bad, and the ugly surrounding medications. Like whether or not you should take them. We tackle side effects like feeling numb and sexual dysfunction and share our personal histories with medication therapy.

If you have any form of, mental illness, that you need Meds to function. Medications are amazing, they saved my life. I want to be very clear. Without my medication I cannot live the life that I live. So many people mistakenly believe that psychiatric medications are magical that you just need to take the pill and boom everything is fine and it's simple.

It's much bigger than that. In addition to psychiatric medication, therapy is very important, learning coping skills is very important, and going to support groups. You have to deal with the trauma of your past and all of these things matter; but all we ever hear about is psychiatric medication and I want to change that. I want to change it to, did you take your meds and did you go to therapy and did you utilize your coping skills?

 

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What is the most common cause of, bipolar disorder?

Biological traits

Hormonal problems: Hormonal imbalances might trigger or cause bipolar disorder. Environmental factors: Abuse, mental stress, a “significant loss,” or some other traumatic event may contribute to or trigger bipolar disorder.

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Mental Health Advocate for, Bipolar

Gabe is a, Mental Health Advocate. He remembers when no one knew he was sick for over 20 years.  He had a plan to end his life and luckly for him, someone asked him the question “Are you planning on hurting yourself” He answered yes and he was admitted to the Psychiatric ward in hospital.

That saved his life so now, he is a, mental health advocate, to help others suffering from, mental illness, or, bipolar disorder, receive treatment and services.

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Additional Resources for, Bipolar Disorder.

The book is a collection of Articles and all of the Articles have something to do with, mental illness, mental health, loving somebody with, mental illness, dating someone with, bipolar,

It's almost a reference guide that you can carry around for people with, bipolar, or dealing with somebody who is living with, mental illness, and depression and anxiety, don't just live with, bipolar, you can have just depression, you can have just anxiety. Even people with schizophrenia, they suffer from depression and anxiety as well.

Dealing with Anxiety Disorder after Addiction

http://blog.myhelps.us/understanding-and-managing-compulsive-behaviors/

http://blog.myhelps.us/9-steps-to-effective-advocacy/

 

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20356007

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324602.php

 

 

Healing Trauma With EFT Tapping

Theresa Levine EFT Tapping

EFT tapping is psychological acupressure. It combines ancient Chinese wisdom using our, energy meridians, the lifeforce that flows through in our body.  If we have past trauma that didn't fully release and we're simply just trying to feel better without addressing it, then it's probably going to still be running in our subconscious mind. So, EFT tapping allows us to clear it down to that subconscious level.

Download the podcast here: 

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Bio

Theresa Lear Levine is the founder of Becoming More Me where she helps professional women to get out of their own way and resolve their innermost pains, traumas and challenges so they can fully enjoy their success and present moments. She does this by using scientifically proven methods that help them to release what's currently holding them back and leverage their perceived weaknesses into superpowers.

By utilizing Theresa's unique approach to the, Emotional Freedom Technique, her clients have overcome nervousness and difficult situations such as preparing for big presentations, overcoming their fear of flying, and transitioning through divorce. Theresa’s personal struggles with past traumas, high functioning anxiety, and ADHD kept her in an ego driven holding pattern of dissatisfaction and stress for longer than she likes to admit.

Theresa is the host of the Becoming More Me Podcast and lives near Washington, DC with her husband, Jeff, and their 4 boys as well as their 2 yellow labs.

Myrna: How did you transform personal struggles with past traumas, high functioning anxiety, and ADHD to becoming an EFT master practitioner and health coach?

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Journey to EFT master practitioner

Theresa: Absolutely. And I wish I could say I figured it all out overnight and I'm here today, but it was a long and winding road. I always had ADHD that's there's no doubt about that. I didn't get diagnosed until my early 40s. And that kind of brought a new bag along with other things to figure out, but it was always apparent, and then your life brings about trauma for all of us. And I think a lot of us can get into a pattern of comparing our traumas and thinking mine isn’t that bad.  As I got into my 20s, and into my first marriage, and that ended in divorce after we had our first child, and there's so much that needed to be worked through.

I remarried and had 3 more kids. And I think that's when my ADHD really started to be more of a struggle for me, I couldn't juggle as well. There was more to keep up with and after I had my third child, I started a business from home doing more, more of the coaching and things that I had been used to focus mainly then on like nutrition, fitness, that kind of stuff. And very quickly as I was evolving in consciousness, I was realizing that I really wanted something deeper. I considered myself a personal development junkie. I always felt like I was learning and understanding things, but not being able to apply them to my life and make them work.

That's when I learned more about, nervous system regulation, in conjunction with, energy psychology and modern psychology and really was able to start getting out of my own way, locating places where my own energy was blocked. EFT has been around for decades. I have seen it used with Olympic athletes. I had seen it used with war veterans. I had seen it used with people who had worse trauma than me. It was that comparison again, where I was like, oh, I don't need this modality. This isn't what I need.

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EFT tapping works for everyone

I was a mom of three or four kids at the time and I just wanted to sleep through the night not be stressed, feel more connected in my marriage. lose a few pounds, you know, just it seemed like basic things, but they were all adding up to and I didn't realize that it was that same modality that helped war veterans or Olympic athletes. That could help me too.

And as soon as I opened up to that and realize the universal effectiveness and the scientific backing behind it and started using it, it was like that wall that was in front of me that was immobilizing me I was able to just cut right through it instead of trying to go around it or climb over it so it can be that really opened up the door because you can apply it then to pretty much anything and everything and I always find that when I'm working with people who are skeptical at first, the best of you apply it to something tangible.

Myrna; So, can we like expand on that? What exactly is, EFT tapping, and why does EFT have greater efficacy and speed than other healing modalities especially for trauma?

Theresa: EFT is a psychological acupressure you could say it combines ancient Chinese wisdom using our meridians our meridians are what our lifeforce flows through in our body, and we use these different points along them combined with modern day psychology. And by tapping our fingertips on these, Meridian points, the same point that if you were to go and have acupuncture done or a deep tissue massage, they will be inserting needles or pressing really hard. In EFT all we need to do is light fingertip pressure on some of these different points while we're focusing on the negative thing or the challenge, and giving it a voice.

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EFT tapping moves energy through your body

This allows the, energy blockage, to flow through.  An energy blockage is the source of any disease we have in our body. It allows those things to break free so that we transform the way that we feel about things. And what is really cool about EFT is that whether it is something emotional, or physical, it's effective on both.  Whether it's something that happened a really long time ago, something that's happening in your life right now, or something that you're worried or anxious about that hasn't and may never happen in your life.

I always find that when I'm working with people who are skeptical at first, the best thing is to apply it to something tangible, something physical.  That headache or a backache or something that you're really going to notice a difference or a shift immediately versus other things that it's equally effective on like money blocks or limiting beliefs or fears.  It works, obviously without any needles like, meridians acupuncture, we're just, tapping.

You can get right to the amygdala, that little walnut shaped part of your brain that's in charge of fight or flight. You're doing this instead of talk therapy, where you're more in the frontal lobes of the brain working, this cuts right to the chase of that, fight or flight, impulse that we all have, and it comes back along with your emotions and allows you to really access a new feeling about things and allows things to transform very naturally.

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Negative emotions from Trauma get stuck

And it also addresses the negative which I think a lot of people choose to overlook these days. Everybody just wants to feel better, be positive, that toxic positivity is kind of crazy. And we can't genuinely feel better and feel positively until we address the negative underlying things that are going on. And then once we do it's kind of like tilling the field to plant seeds, you now have this fertile soil where that what you want to plant can actually grow versus getting overtaken by the weeds or the negative emotions so to speak, that are still there.

So, it really helps for that and when you're thinking about it in the way of trauma. If we have a past trauma that didn't fully release and we're simply just trying to feel better without addressing it, then it's probably going to still be running in our subconscious mind in one way or another. So, EFT really allows us to clear it down to that subconscious level. And to do so very gently. A lot of people, they've been through something really difficult or really traumatic in their past. It's hard to talk about it and some forms of therapy can be traumatic themselves.

So, EFT is incredibly gentle. It's amazing how much progress that you can get without even having to go into great detail or tell the entire story or anything else you can really start to shift things and feel differently and also to feel more comfortable without sharing more of it than you would without the, nervous system regulation. EFT also works on a genetic level, like with epigenetic discoveries and things that are happening the way that our genes express can be affected by this type of work with, EFT tapping. There's a lot of studies going on about that right now. But things that we thought were once unchangeable, like our genetics, were able to see how much power we have over changing even marine power.

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

Tapping the meridian points moves energy

Myrna: Dr Joe Dispenza’s work deals with epigenetics.  You were talking about the, issues in our tissues, I have an episode on this topic, we do hold trauma in our tissues. Now, to the point where you just mentioned regarding the, meridian points, being almost the same as when you have acupuncture, I've never had acupuncture, but I've seen where they have the needles and things like that, but I don't think I've ever seen needles in the head. And I was asked to do some, tapping, a few weeks back, and I was asked to tap on my head. Tap above my breastbone and then tap certain points in my head. So can we talk about where normally that people tap.

Theresa: Absolutely, before EFT tapping came to be known the way that it is with the points that I'm going to share in a minute. There was a predecessor to it, where there was a lot of different brilliant end points that would get put into these formulas for people.  So, let's say that you were afraid of flying and you went to get one of these formulas created. They would tell you to tap certain number of times and a certain place and this map would be specific for you. It was also ridiculously expensive.  But when Gary Craig, who's known as the founder of EFT, learned all of this and figured out that we really only needed a certain number of points to create this energetic overhaul.

Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast
Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

EFT Tapping meridian points

He made this accessible to everybody. So, the main points that we're using in EFT are:

  • The side of our hand which is known as the karate chop point.
  • The top of the head.
  • We use the eyebrow, where the hair on the eyebrow starts near the nose.
  • We use the side of the eye,
  • We use under the eye,
  • Under the nose,
  • Under the mouth,
  • The collarbone, not actually the bone, it's kind of that mid chest point that sometimes called a sore spot.
  • We use under the arm.

If you hit all those spots, while focusing on that one thing that's bothering you, and you're hitting all those spots, well voicing it in the right way and everything else, then you're going to clear the energy around the issue because you've used all of those different spots. That's not to say that you can't clear it with just one like that.

The collarbone point is one of my favorites, one that you mentioned, a lot of times when I'm just sitting here talking with people, I'll just tap my collarbone or when I'm doing initially meeting with clients, a lot of times they start to share more you know emotional things and they'll start to get choked up, and I'll just say, hey, let's just tap or collarbones while we're talking.

Transform Your Mind Podnews
Transform Your Mind Podnews

EFT Tapping vs Talk Therapy

Myrna: So that's amazing. So when you do the, EFT tapping, you're combining tapping with, talk therapy. And while you talking the energy is passing through your body? Is it like the energy that's in our, chakra systems, or are this is more than emotional energy?

Theresa: Yes, and yes, both. I love that. I mean, if you're familiar with the, chakra system, we can talk about that because even when my clients have no idea what an, energy portal, or the, chakra system, is, I still am using that behind the scenes in my own understanding of what's going on with them. And for those that want to geek out on it with me, I'm always sharing little tidbits. But our chakra system is beautifully engineered.

It all has to do with the energetic container that you have created in your energy system and your chakras. So, I am always looking at those lower chakras to see what happened when a client's nervous system from their earliest years. The things that you know their inner child has been through or their inner teen or their inner young adult, their inner anybody up until this present moment.

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Transform Your Mind Podcastland

EFT can heal fear of flying

EFT can be used like a band aid and it can also be used for that like deeper wound cleanout when you want true healing. So, in the case of fear of flying, let's say that you've never done, EFT tapping, before and you're getting ready to get on a plane. It's not like you have time to meet with me a few times and actually get to the root of it and figure it out. But you do have time to do some of the band aid style tapping where you could feel a heck of a lot better on that flight and feel a lot more relaxed with some stuff that just addresses the in the moment feelings that are happening.  The negative energy and so on and so forth.

But let's say on your first leg of the trip and you've still got to fly back. You probably are gonna need to do the exact same thing when you fly back because we didn't get to the root of the problem. We just calmed things temporarily for you, but that's beautiful and valuable. It's kind of like when people go to see a psychiatrist to work on things and they get prescribed a medicine so that they can relax enough to actually be able to do the work. It is the equivalent of the medicine that allows you to relax enough to do the work.

Women in particular, need to have, EFT tapping, in their toolbox.

Conclusion

Myrna: How can readers can get in touch with you. I think you have some video gifts that you want to, share with the audience of how they can try this.

Theresa: My website is https://theresalearlevine.com/ The links to my podcast “Becoming More Me” ways that you can get in touch and all the other things that you might have questions about. If you're on Instagram I am @ https://www.instagram.com/theresalearlevine/

 

 

Rules Game Of Life: Know Where You Want To Go

Rules game of life

Rules game of life,  # 1 Know where you want to go. A lot of us have goals, but we focus on all of them at the same time and that is why most of us never accomplish any of them.

There is a Guyanese proverb that says that you can be a “Jack of all trades, master of none.” That means if you have all these trades, you can never be great at any.

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Focus on one thing at a time

The captain of a ship knows he can only dock at one port at a time. A quarterback in a football game knows the goal of the drive is to get to the end zone and score a touchdown. Once he has accomplished one touchdown then he starts planning for the next touchdown. Rules of the game, both the Captain and the quarterback knows to, focus on one thing, at a time.

So, the first rule of success in the, game of life, is knowing where you want to go. You set one goal and, focus on one thing,  concentrate all your energies on that goal first, then after you accomplish that goal then you move on to the next goal.

Let’s say where you want to go is to save $20,000 for a down payment on your first home. That is the direction you want to go in, you shouldn’t have that goal of saving $20,000 and another goal of let’s say getting your Master’s degree at the same time.  Chances are you will accomplish neither. Since you should, focus on one thing, at a time.  First focus on your down payment and then after you move into your home, then you could focus on getting your Master's degree.

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Podhero podcast

Game of Life: Your rewards equal effort

In the, game of life, your reward is in direct proportion to your service. So how will you earn this $20,000?  You have to provide a service to get it.  Don’t dream of winning the lottery.

We just watched the Super Bowl game.  Let’s look at Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes as an illustration of having one primary goal and working only on that goal. Patrick Mahomes is rewarded handsomely for his service for his ability to score touchdowns. He is paid millions and I mean millions because of this ability. He has studied his craft and become the best and his knowledge of the game and how to achieve his goal of getting to the end zone, makes him valuable to any team. He concentrates of one drive at time, that is his, focus is on one thing. One touchdown at a time, one game at a time with the end goal of a championship.

So, you need to do the same. What skills do you need to have to accomplish your primary goal today?  What do you have to do to become the best at what you do. Since service is in direct proportion to reward, how will you increase your service?

Transform Your Mind Podcast Podvine
Transform Your Mind Podcast Podvine

Rules Game of life

These are the, rules game of life, know where you want to go and, focus on one thing, at a time. This message is for me as well. I am speaking to myself. I have lots of goals and I was working on all of them at the same time and that is why I wasn’t gaining traction. I have 6 goals and I was concentrating on all of them.  Now that I understand the, rules game of life, I have picked one goal and am focusing all my attention on this goal. I already work on improving my skills every day. I already learn something new every day. Since my rewards is in direct proportion to my service, I am confident that my rewards will come. I know if you build it, they will come. 

Remember the quote from Alice in Wonderland “if you don’t know where you are going then it doesn’t matter where you end up.”

So become one of the 5% of the population who know the, rules game of life, they know where they are going and is working the playbook, setting up plays, celebrating first downs and getting to the end zone. You must have singular focus, you must know that people are out to stop you, and you must know where they are and avoid a collision.  Patrick Mahomes played through an injury, you must know that you will have challenges and problems on your way to your goals, successful people succeed in spite of their challenges.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Additional Resources 

The Game of Life: Making Lemonade Out Of Lemons

 

How to Deal with Grief from Death or Incarceration

Coping with, grief,  either from death, divorce, incarceration, job loss, or even loosing your home is devastating. Mental Health counselor, Arifah Yusaf  and, Life Coach, Myrna Young shares strategies for coping with loss.

I have been fortunate at 60 years old to not had to deal with the kind of, grief, that tears your soul out. The kind that of,  grief,  makes you want to die. The kind that  hurt so bad that you can't get up out of bed for weeks.

I have heard stories, and I have had a front row seat to my daughters grief when she buried her fiancé.

Grief from Losing a Child:

I was listening to an interview with Anderson Cooper a few months back and he was telling the story of his brother suicide. Then I heard his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt,  talk about it. Put yourself in this scene.

Your 22 year old son wakes up from a nap and comes into your room. Asks you some question you don't comprehend and then runs out of your room onto the balcony of your 12th story Penthouse suite and jumps to his death while you watch, shocked out of your mind.

Gloria Vanderbilt, had this experience. In an interview she said in her, grief, she stayed in bed for 2 weeks and cried and cried until she ran out of tears. Since then she has not cried once. She says it is as if, she has no tears left.

When a loved one commits suicide the, grief, is even more acute because there is blame wondering what you may have missed, could have done to prevent it, are you the cause etc.

But after hearing that interview, I heard another interview on the, Mental Health Happy Hour podcast, that penetrated my consciousness about the horror or, grief,

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

Grief and the Death of a Spouse:

The guest told the story about, the death of her spouse, seeing her husband drown in front of her and how her world changed from that day.

Here is her story. She said her husband Matt was a super athlete very strong. She gave us the mental picture of him hanging from a cliff with one hand and in the other hand pulling up his 17 year old son.

One day before they picked up her husband's son from the Airport, they decided to take their dog for a walk in the woods by their home. Her husband decided to take a quick swim in the river, something he did several times per week. She decided to keep playing with the dog.

After some time, she said she heard her husband cough once and she didn't think anything of it. She said to herself, he got water into his mouth again. When she heard him cough again, she decided to investigate. When she reached the river, she saw her husband clinging to a branch in river. She knew something was wrong.

The river looked the same as it always looked, very calm on top; but as soon as she stepped into the river to help her husband, she felt the strong undercurrent. The current took her and her dog up the river for about 2 miles before it spit them out on the shore. She said she was then lost in the woods for about 45 mins before she was able to get help.

They began a search and rescue for her husband, but  after 3 hours it became a search and recovery.

They found him entangled in weeds at the bottom of the river.

My husband drowned in front of me

Her, grief, extended to having to tell Matt's son that his father was dead. What it felt like to pick up Matt's son from the airport the day before his 18th birthday.

Knowing that Matt's son could never again celebrate his birthday again because it will always be the anniversary of his Dad’s death. She talked about having to call Matt's parents and tell them their son was dead. She said his father hung up on her he didn't want to believe it. Calling all his friends in his phone and telling them. Her, grief,  was unbearable.

She said she could no longer practice her profession as a therapist, because she couldn't listen to other people's problems anymore. But the point she wanted to convey by telling her story, was that while she was in mystery and her world changed forever, her neighbors world and everyone else’s world continued unchanged.

The sun came up the next day, her neighbor came out the next day and picked up his morning newspaper. She likened it to going to the movies, you pay to see a comedy but while everybody else is laughing your screen split and you are watching a horror movie.

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iHeart Radio

Grief from Suicide:

My firsthand experience with, grief, was seeing the pain it caused my daughter when her fiancé committed suicide. His mother called me and I thought she was joking when she said ” The boy killed himself” until she said why would I joke about something like that.

I had the unenviable role of telling my daughter her fiancé was dead. I can still hear her screens of anguish. I didn't know what to do.

Her world changed. She quit school. She was doing her Masters degree at the time.

She went back later; but I had to call her professors and tell them the situation.

Then she had to deal with the funeral and the burial.

I didn't know what to do, what to say or how to help her with her, grief.

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The therapist said that most people don't know what to do or say.

Because our culture spins the tale that life must go on and that everything has a purpose.

She feels that is bullshit to sat that her husband died, so that she can use her pain to help other people. What she is doing now.

She said you can't tell a mother who lost her baby that God had better plans for the child.

We will go through her suggestions for helping others deal with, grief, and what you can do to help later on in this blog

Here is how to deal with, grief from incarceration: Grief Counseling,

In the co-host chair is Arifah Yusuf Mortley, registered social worker, mental health counselor and founder and program director of Lifted by Purpose.

How is, grief from incarceration, similar to losing a loved one in death?

In my experience I have supported both clients in, grief counseling, dealing with, grief, of a loved one who died and secondary loss, such as losing a loved one to incarceration. When speaking with my clients, dealing with the loss of a loved one, I always listen and provide the space and opportunity for them to be heard and share their feelings.

It’s important for them to know during, grief counseling, that grief, is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. The more significant the loss, the more intense your, grief, will be.

Emotional reactions of, grief,  can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and despair.

During, grief counseling, clients may associate grieving with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of, grief, but you can also experience intense, grief from incarceration,  or losing a loved one to incarceration.  For example, I had a client who was pregnant and her fiancé was sentenced to 6 years in prison.

Grief while incarcerated

Even though he did not die the, grief, was intense from her watching him get sentenced and taken away the same day, delivering their baby without him present, and raising their child on her own.  She would drive 3 hours to visit him and 3 hours back home once a month and speak to him as often, as she could afford.

Over time the, grief from incarceration, took a toll on her, as this was not the family life she had envisioned for herself.  Likewise, it was difficult for her fiancé in prison, as he felt he was missing out on the experience of raising their child, and the experience of being the father he promised himself and her, he would be.

He felt disappointment in himself and a disconnection to his family. He also, experienced, grief,  from loosing his freedom, and the ability to provide for his family.  He also grieved missing all the milestones of his child's life (ie. Missing first words, walk, first day of school, birthdays) and intense worry about their health and safety. As well, wondering if his girl would leave him for someone else. The inevitable of not being able to fully control situations, was an intense loss for them both, and sometimes, she would say it felt as if he was gone and not coming back home.

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TuneIn Radio

Steps to helping friends or family members deal with, Grief:

1: Never say get over it or it is for the best.

2: Allow them to grieve. If they want to talk about it listen. They need to feel heard. In fact they will talk about it until they feel heard.

  1. Help them by taking care of daily necessities like child care, cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash, picking up kids from school etc. A person in, grief, is not capable of doing any of these things.
  2. Sit with the thought that time does heal. The therapist went back to work helping others, my daughter went back to school and graduated on time with her Masters degree. She is getting married in December. Anderson Cooper decided to send himself to the war zone and report news. That is how he dealt with his, grief. That launched his career as a reporter.

How to Deal with grief from incarceration or death

Listen and engage  in conversations about the loss, so they can begin to recognize the reality of the loss and confront their own emotions (e.g. loneliness, sadness, helplessness). These stressors include things like thoughts, feelings, actions, and memories that cause us to feel, grief, and focus on the loss.

I share the Tear Model when working with clients, which focuses in on the following.

The Tear Model to help with, Grief

  • Accept the reality of the loss
  • Experience the reality of the loss
  • Adjust to a new life without the person
  • Reinvest in the new reality

I often explain that restorationorientation refers to coping with issues related to secondary changes brought on by the loss (e.g., financial, family demands), and adapting to these issues.

A griever will go between confronting the loss and avoiding the loss.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Helpful ways to cope with, Grief, and Loss

  • Express yourself. Talking to a trust friend, family member or counselor is often a good way to soothe painful emotions.
  • Allow yourself to feel sad. It's a healthy part of the grieving process.
  • Keep your routine up.
  • Sleep.
  • Listen to music or express your emotions using the arts
  • Connect with your spiritually.
  • Eat healthy and exercise.
  • Avoid drugs and alcohol.
  • Honor your special person and treasure fond memories (drawing, photos, music, and memory box).
  • Connect to nature – go for a walk, breathe in the fresh, focus on what you see outside (i.e. Trees, birds).
  • Make a special memento to perverse a loved one’s memory. Write a letter to the person.
  • Lean on support from friends, family, professional support.
  • Learn about grief resources, support groups, grief professionals.
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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR COPING WITH, GRIEF

How to Heal Your Brokenness

Life After Death: How an Atheist Became a Believer

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-find-the-right-man-the-second-time-around/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3131745/

 

https://www.themarshallproject.org/2017/11/10/the-singular-sorrow-of-grieving-behind-bars

 

How To Face Your Fear of Death

Face Your fear of death

I want you to meditate on your, fear of death, pray on death, read books on death, listen to CDs on death, embracing everything about death.  I did and I had wonderous experiences and wonderful visions and meditations, like big long dreams where I remember this woman comes to me and says, before you know about death, first you need to know all about life. She shows me how we're both human and divine and I hadn't really thought about that before. And I could see in my dreams,  the human side of myself struggling to get away from the Divine Self.

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Bio

Terrified and stalked by an oppressive, fear of death, John David Latta was a single dad with two children facing rock bottom, loneliness and bankruptcy. Hard work, and logic were getting him nowhere, the competition was tough, and he was in over his head. In his new book, The Synchronicity of Love, John shares his extraordinary stories of what happened while at rock bottom. His stories about his journey will inspire, uplift, heal, shock, awaken and transform. They contain the seeds of potential to change habits, beliefs and one’s deepest assumptions about what is possible.

Today, John David Latta is a mystic, author, teacher, and former founder and CEO of a multimillion-dollar consumer products company. He shares intimate and personal stories and teaches workshops on leadership, healing, transformation, awakening, love, synchronicity, and wisdom that unite and expand human experience.

Book: The Synchronicity of Love
Book: The Synchronicity of Love
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Fear of death after hitting rock bottom

Myrna: How did your, fear of death, start? How did how did that happen?

John: Well, I think a lot of people that go through transformation that began with pain and suffering.

So yeah, so I was living what I would call a relatively charmed life, married two children. I was the store manager for a large regional grocery chain. I managed a number of stores,  coaching my kids teams and everything was going great,  but man in a short period of time, all the wheels came off the cart.

My wife got cancer, it came completely out of left field, entirely unexpected and in a short period of time, they had to remove her entire thyroid gland. She had to take a pill every day for the rest of her life just to live and she started to change. She started reading books about God and the meaning of life and I think she was kind of reviewing her own life. And I am not sure at that stage of my life, I was able to support her with what she was going through.

And then about the same time I left my very secure job, which I was good at and started my own company and promptly lost all of our money and a whole bunch more. So, in two years, I was $650,000 in debt, a quarter million in personal credit card debt and I was in fear of bankruptcy. In the middle of it all my wife decides to leave. She wants a whole new life. And so suddenly, I'm a single dad with two kids ages 9 and 11 facing bankruptcy.  That was my personal rock bottom and it was embarrassing.

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A Spiritual retreat helped me face death

And so, about that same time I was reading a book that Michael Creighton wrote, a nonfiction book called “Travels” it was his sort of autobiography. There was a chapter in the book where he went to a spiritual retreat, which was a big leap for him because he was an intellectual and didn't really believe in that kind of thing. But he had all these wonderful experiences there. And I was feeling so bereft and lost in grief and anger and hopelessness, that I signed up.

Myrna: Was the retreat in the United States you had to go to India?

John: It was in the United States, In the mountains in Southern California. Dr. William Brew Joy and he went by his middle name Brew.  He was a very eminent Southern California physician who went through a big transformation himself and gave up being a medical doctor and became a spiritual teacher. He promised to do, life renovation, I figured that is what I needed. I just knew I needed a shake up some way. And so, I got my mother and father to watch my kids and I flew to California.

Myrna: Where did the fear of death come from?

John: I forgot to throw that in there too. So, at the same time that my wife got cancer and decided she wanted the whole new life, the same time I was suddenly terrified of death. I didn't have any spiritual background. I was raised as a part time Catholic at best and stopped going to church when I was probably 13 or 14. So I didn't have anything to fall back on. It was terrifying to me; death is like it's over forever. It was so scary. But I had so much going on in my life, that I kind of shoved the, fear of death, aside.

And so, I went to the retreat. And three years later, that same teacher formed a year-round study group where we met both in person and online to work on the, fear of death. I signed up for it.  At the end of the first year Brew says I want you to prepare for your own death. If you don't have a will, make a will. If you need to make amends to other people or say something to other people before you die. Do it this month. If you need to talk to your kids or your parents or somebody you've harmed or been harmed by this is your time, you got one month to do this.

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Meditate on the fear of death: embrace death

And then in the meantime, he goes, I want you to meditate on death, pray on death, read books on death, listen to CDs on death, and he talked about embracing everything about death.  I did and I had wonderous experiences and wonderful visions and meditations, like big long dreams where I remember this woman comes to me and says, before you know about death, first you need to know all about life. She shows me how we're both human and divine and I hadn't really thought about that before. And I could see in my dreams,  the human side of myself struggling to get away from the Divine Self.

I began to love death!

Myrna: That is a crazy statement.

John: I mean, I, I really did what he wanted us to do to, embrace death. The lesson was, turn around, face your fears.

Myrna: Did Brew have you do the funeral meditation. The one where you are sitting in the back of the church at your funeral?

John: He didn’t but I think that's a beautiful exercise, because I think we all know where we want to end up and that is a look to see if we got there.

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How to remember your dreams

Our spiritual teacher did teach us how to remember our dreams. Imagine in your mind's eye that you walk up to the edge of a really tall cliff. You take off all your clothes, you turn your back to the abyss, and you fall backwards in total trust and ask for a dream. So, I started doing that because he put a lot of emphasis on dreams.  Carl Jung and a lot of others also put emphasis on dreams. If took me some time to remember all my dreams and after that, I had dreams flooding forth.

I was writing down as many as five dreams every single night, in middle the night in, the morning. I didn't have the slightest idea what they meant. And so, it was a whole learning curve of learning to read the language of dreams because dreams usually speak to us symbolically. And it's usually better to use your intuition to ever stand your dream rather than your logical mind.

So fast forward two years. And so, I own this huge consumer products company that thankfully stopped bleeding cash, and kind of flatlined for about a year or two. It didn't get worse. But it didn't get better. I had just enough to get by the skin of my teeth. And then I had the I had the opportunity to sell my products on QVC, the home shopping network, which I'd never done before. I'd never been on live TV before and they said you have seven minutes to sell your stuff.

But you're gonna repeat your little pitch every minute because you have 700,000 new people watching every minute. So, I was really nervous again on TV goes great. I sell a fair amount of product, not a ton, but you know, it wasn't a failure either. And I go back to my hotel room in Philadelphia, and I can't go sleep my body's full of all this joy and I'm assuming it's because I didn't screw up on live TV.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Kundalini Awakening

So, I'm lying in bed around midnight, kind of just dozing but not sleeping and all of a sudden, I have what feels like this gigantic orgasm in my perineum area. It fills my whole body with a blissful, happy sensation that kind of shoots upwards and through my whole body. And it kept happening again and again the entire night.

Myrna: Was that the, Kundalini awakening?

John: I believe it was, Kundalini energy. You wound not believe how many people have read my book and asked, how do I get some of that, Kundalini energy? There are people that practice, Kundalini Yoga, all the time, and that is their goal. I didn't do anything. It was just my time. Again, this is really in alignment with Carl Jung, a Swiss psychologist, he said dreams helped make the unconscious, conscious. So, my lucid dreams started the process of my, Kundalini awakening. He was a big proponent of let's make the unconscious, conscious.

Carl Jung talked about, heart center meditation, that was the practice and coming back to you talking about these lower chakras and upper chakras. He always said this is the function of the, heart chakra, it unites the lower chakras that are really for survival.

Myrna: Wow, that is that is an incredible story. So, your book is called the Synchronicity of love. What do you want readers to walk away with after reading.

John: One of my favorite sayings is you don't know what you don't know. And so, I like to use the analogy that we all build brick walls around ourselves, let's call the walls safety. But then I think comes the opportunity, especially if there has been a lot of pain to start to dismantle those walls, it allows you to see the world differently, to see yourself differently. Allow your perception of things to grow and evolve. And so that is what I wanted to capture in the book. It's 100 short stories. They are all true or mostly true stories.

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Dreams allow the unconscious to become conscious

Half the book had some kind of connection to a dream or an experience in a dream. I want people to walk away with the image of death and life after death. In my dreams, I saw on the other side is trying to imagine you know, skydivers, when a bunch of them jump out of a plane and they're all linked together, holding each other's ankles and wrists. So, try to imagine a grid around Earth made of light, but it's actually composed of millions of people holding each other by their hands and wrists.

And so, I talked about that there is a crisis grid that's built around Earth and it's even being constructed as we speak. And so, the way I understand it kind of messes with the mind when I die, I go to join that grid, as an individual, but I'm also part of a greater collective. You might say, like, I'm part of that grid. So, I'm both, an individual but also part of the whole.  When people are on earth have a problem, they have a question or they're praying. This grid answers the question. It's like a profound thread of infinite wisdom, you might say an infinite love or guides.

That is what my dreams showed me  how to make the unconscious, conscious.

Additional Resources

Why God Won't Let You Die Before Your Time

Bring Your Friends Along

Bring Your Friends Along

When God anoints you for a purpose it not only for you sometimes your appointment is so that you can bring your friends along.

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Daniel had all he needed to fulfil his purpose

Let me use a couple of stories to illustrate this. I am sure you have heard the Bible story of Daniel, Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego.

You see God had a plan for these boys’ lives. They had a purpose like we all do. God chose them to be the wise men in King Nebuchadnezzar’s palace. The king ordered his chief of staff to find young men who were strong, good looking and healthy to train as wise men to serve in the palace. God made sure these boys were chosen then, God made them excel in their learning to stand out from the crowd. So, they got the job.

God then gave these four boys unusual aptitude for understanding every aspect of literature and wisdom and then God give Daniel the special ability to interpret the meanings of visions and dreams. This talent would be necessary to get him into position for his purpose.

Every aspect of your life has been preordained by God. Nothing is left to chance, believe this.

It does not matter the circumstances of your birth. You are meant for greatness and whatever you need to accomplish your mission, God preloads into you.

Think of yourself as a top-of-the-line sports car. Everything you need to perform at your highest level is preloaded and then some!

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Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

Daniel had the ability to interpret visions and dreams

Anyway, back to Daniel.  King Nebuchadnezzar has a dream and he wanted someone not only to interpret the dream, but to tell him the dream! Sometimes people in authority have some unusual requests. As it turned out Daniel was the only person in the entire kingdom who could tell the King his dream and interpret it.

When Daniel told the king his dream and what it meant King Nebuchadnezzar, appointed Daniel to a high position and gave him many valuable gifts. He made Daniel ruler over all his wise men. But at Daniel’s request the King also appointed Shadrach Meshack and Abednego to be in charge of all the affairs of the province of Babylon. Bring your friends along.

A modern-day version of this story is how Lebron James brought his friends along when he got to the NBA. Lebron hired his friend Rich Paul to be his agent with no experience or degrees in sports related fields. Everyone said it was the worst decision ever. But Lebron understood the concept of bring your friends along. Today Lebron is worth $1Billion in contracts and endorsements and his friend Rich Paul is now the #1 agent in the NBA.  He is now expanding to Major league baseball and the NFL.

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RadioPublic Transform your mind

Daniel brought his friends along

This is why I want to focus on this topic today. The skill of interpreting dreams and visions were only given to Daniel, but Daniel remembered his friends when he became successful. God does not anoint you with a purpose just for you, you are supposed to help your friends, your family, your community and even the world with your talent.

Your friends have a mission and purpose as well and sometimes your only purpose is to get them in position. Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego’s mission was to show that their God is the only true God. Their God was the only God deserving of their worship and if they were thrown into the fiery furnace, their God would rescue them.

And that is what happened. These boys were thrown into the furnace because they refused to bow down to a statue. When King Nebuchadnezzar threw them in the furnace bound, he witnessed with his own eyes 4 men walking around in the furnace unbound and unharmed. The 4th man being the Angel God sent to protect them from harm.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

This is why you bring your friends along

The King then made this decree “If any man whatever race or nation or language speak a word against the God of Shadrach Meshack and Abednego, they will be torn limb from limb and their houses will be turned into heaps of rubble.”

So if you ever make it to the top, remember your friends and bring them along.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Additional Resources 

Using Astrology to Understand Your Purpose